#idk man i'm struggling... it's like a disease...

[vintagerobin]

One of the worst things about reading a lot of Batman comics is that you get to a point where you realize that a lot of people who have a lot of very strong opinions on Batman do not in fact read many comics that are about Batman. And then you have to restrain the urge to be very very annoying.

[capricioussun]

Your top 5 or top 10(if you have) of your fav papyrus aus!

1 - gotta be my man UF Papyrus. You can't dedicate a day of ur week to a skeleton and not put him at ur number 1

2 - idk if im allowed to put my own but Void. He’s become so so dear to me im blowing him up posthaste

3 - US Papyrus goes here bc he’s so sillay and when he’s characterized well he is so so good and makes me want to pull my hair out <3 (in a normal way)

4 - Dusk (my horrorfell Papyrus) bc he has every disease. I'm a fan of a guy with Problems what can I say <333

5 - Lace (lovefell papyrus) I'm a fan of a guy with Problems what can I say /lh He's so sweet but also kind of terrible but only bc he thinks he has to be and then when he can finally truly just be himself ??? Absolute sweetheart, he’s so lovely ough

6 - Playback Tale Papyrus. Playback Tale Papyrus. Playback Tale Papyrus. I used to be so deeply unwell abt that guy. Absolutely KILLER design and the premise is Also fantastic. Adore that au.

7 - all of a sudden this is getting a lot harder so I'll just say probably any of these guys could actually be tied for these spots. But for here I'll mafiatale Papyrus! He’s so funny and when characterized well is basically just UT Papyrus and really who can beat that

8 - this is so dumb to say but I'm actually gunna put Inverted Fate Papyrus even though I've never read it. Everything I've seen about him has made me very happy so I suspect I'd adore him

9 - Crimson, from my My Mother's Eyes fic/au. He makes me so unwell I love him so dearly </3

10 - Ghost (my fellswap papyrus), I struggle off n on w/ FS and SF Papyri but I really like Ghost, he’s so funny and mean. Biting him and shaking him.

However if I were to not include my own guys, I'll throw in uhhh horrortale Papyrus, swapfell Red Papyrus (depending on characterization), outerswap Papyrus, and uhhh damn alright mafiafell Papyrus (no one tell him he’s annoying enough as it is) <- in no particular order compared to who they're replacing in the list, mix n match yayy 🎉

[lynxtheserval]

So hey y'all. I died, but I got better hehehe HAAA!! (Clash of Clans / personal joke reference go brrrrr)

So anyway, I got sudden inspiration for a very specific scenario with a Yandere Subspace x Reader who tried to run away with a faulty Biograft

Idk man it just popped into my head LMAO

Anyway I might make a part two, depends on how this turns out!

Yandere Subspace X Reader who tried to run away with a faulty Biograft!

(TW: Needles, Drugging, Being held Forcefully, Murder, Yandere Shit, Maybe OOC Subspace, been a while since I've written)

“NO!” You shouted, unable to move. You struggled in the functioning Biografts grip.

You watched as Subspace, the man who claimed to love you, ripped away the life of the only thing you could call a friend.

His hands viciously ripped the circuits out of the defective Biograft, your friend. The person who was going to get you out of this terrible situation. The situation that was probably going to get a lot worse from here.

After letting out his rage on the poor Biograft, Subspace stayed still for a few, long moments. He then started to slowly get up from his seated position on top of the deceased Biograft. Once standing, he slowly looked over to where you were being held. His gas mask was slightly off of his face, to where you could see his deranged, half rotted smile. Unfortunately, he wasn't smiling with joy or excitement. He was smiling with pure rage. He was pissed, the most mad he's ever been with you. He started walking towards you with a face pace, speeding up with each step, until face to face with you. He stared at you, with those unhinged, pink eyes. Subspace then spoke.

“Oh.. my! It looks like you might be regretting your decision!!” he cupped your chin and tilted it to face him, forced to directly look him in the eyes.

You tried to struggle but the Biograft had too strong of a hold on you, Subspace was just watching with an amused expression.

“Sweetie… you know this Biograft is stronger than that pathetic one!” He looked over and angrily pointed at the diseased Biograft, the faulty one. The one who thought they could take you away from HIM. What an idiot! He really needs to work on the code, to make sure this never happens again.

Subspace looks back at you, frowning. He puts his gas mask back on, straightens it, and sighed.

“My love..” He started, but you interrupted him with a yell.

“WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!? WHY DO YOU WANT TO RUIN MY LIFE?! I NEVER DID ANYTHING TO YOU!” You shouted, in complete rage, in complete agony. Tears started forming in your eyes, and soon fell down your face in a constant stream.

He looked at you, his eyes seemed enraged for a moment, then seemed calm. He put his hand over your mouth, stopping you from yelling any more.

“Y/N… you know I'm just doing this for your safety, correct?” He keeps saying that, always trying to convince you he's trying to help you, keep you safe. He then wiped some of the tears away from your cheeks, and ran his hand through your hair.

You couldn't do anything, struggling wouldn't help, so you just gave up. Subspace noticed this, how your body went limp in Biografts grip.

“Biograft, let her go. She's calm enough now!” he snapped at the bot. The Biograft released its hold on you, and you fell down into Subspace’s arms. He looked down at you, it seemed as if he was smiling. He sat down with you in his arms, taking you into a full hug.

He hummed a small tune, trying to calm you down further. Running his hands through your hair, he then spoke.

“Let's go back home, okay?” He paused, trying to figure out what to say next. “I know today has been rough for you, but you can't leave me. All I do.. it's for your own safety!! I know that faulty Biograft was important to you, but it would hurt you. It WAS hurting you!”

“But it-” You tried to speak, but he interrupted you with a “shh”.

“Darling, just relax now, okay? This might hurt a teeny tiny bit, but you'll wake up feeling all better!”

Before you could protest, he stabbed a needle into your arm, and within a few seconds, your vision went black.

As he stared at you in his arms, his glare came back. He looked back at the defective Biograft, wishing it could just come back to life, so he could kill it all over again. And again. And again.

He looked back at you, still glaring. How stupid of you, to think you could leave him, with a faulty Biograft helping you! No, never. He'll never let this happen again.

NEVER.

[alexdelray1]

Mizu tells you to hide from confrontation from a singular or group of adversaries. You, peaking though a hole in the wall see Mizu struggling, but soon coming out on top. You were so anxious that you confess your feelings.

Mizu x Gn! Reader!

Ordered by: Anonymous.

Warnings! Blood, death, murder, lesbians or hetero idk I'm new to this, english isn't my first language!

-Mizu... I was looking for you... Where were you th-- I couldn't finish the sentence. Mizu took my hand and crouched down, forcing me to do the same.

-Quiet.- he said, covering my mouth and started listening to the uninvited guests.

After a moment, he stood up and started heading towards the room off to the side. I wanted to go with him, but he quickly put his hand on my shoulder and held his finger to my lips. I was afraid something would happen to him, but I wasn't a great warrior myself, just a doctor.

I stayed and he went on to the room next to us. Suddenly I heard screams in the next room. I wanted to know what was going on and I saw that there was a small hole in the wall through which I could see what was going on.

Mizu was probably always great at what he did, but now he wasn't good at it. There will simply always be someone who is better than you at something you do.

My friend fell to the floor and probably lost consciousness after killing 24 people and still had two left. One of his opponents raised his katana above him and was about to aim it at his neck. No... I won't allow this to end...

'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - I shouted with all my strength to get their attention and at the same time so that Mizu could wake up.

My plan worked and the opponents looked at the wall I was behind. Mizu woke up and in half a second he killed two enemies with his sword and got up. He left the room and turned to me. He saw me already standing next to him with a serious expression on my face.

-Is that the end for today? - I asked him and he smiled slightly and looked the other way.

-For me, yes, but I think that you will still have some work for today. - he said, fainted and fell into my arms.

-Let it be.- I muttered under my breath. I took him and started to head towards the exit.

When I came out I saw everything covered in snow. Fortunately, the fight was on the outskirts of the city and at that time most were asleep and the minority paid no attention to us. I guess they are used to barbarism and other bloody events.

I quickly entered the forest, looking for the hot springs we had found earlier.

After about five minutes I saw the place I was looking for. I placed Mizu on the grass next to the hot springs and began to undress him. After all, it won't be the first or last time I will see a man's penis for medical reasons.

I took off his hat first, then his glasses, and let his hair down. Strange, he looks a bit like a woman. I took off his cape and yukata. He had terrible bandages on his chest. Does he want to suffocate or something? I took them off and saw... breasts? Wait no. Maybe it's some kind of disease? Wait. I looked at his 'shorts' (underwear, panties) and didn't notice a bulge.

-Maybe nature didn't give him a big penis...- I muttered to myself and took off his shorts. Instead of a small penis, I saw a vagina.

-Oh, dick. Well, actually no.- I said with surprise. So she is one of those women who hide their gender to have a better life. A smart move. I removed the weights from her hands and legs. I covered her with a coat. I took some water in my hands from the hot spring and started washing her face. It was obvious that she hadn't washed for a while and I didn't want anything getting into her wounds.

I washed her entire body and started bandaging her smaller and larger wounds. When I finished, I dressed her and covered her with my coat again. I was cold too, so I hugged her and fell asleep too.

Time skip.

I woke up and saw that I was alone, covered with a cloak. I sat up and looked around for Mizu. I noticed her sitting on a rock.

-Good morning, Mizu. How was your night? And I'm sorry for getting close to you. It was a bit cold. - I said and she opened her eyes.

-You saw who I am. Why did you stay? - she asked calmly.

-Why wouldn't I stay?- I answered the question with a question.

-I lied and not every woman wants to be saved by a woman.- she said and looked away.

-You know, I don't see any difference. It doesn't matter whether you are a woman or a man, I still... love you... - I replied and Mizu turned her wide-eyed gaze to me. She came and crouched down to me.

-So you promise to love me even when I will pretend to be a man? - she asked and grabbed my hands.

-I promise, even if by some miracle you're two at the same time.- I promised and smiled. Mizu kissed me and fell on two knees. I grabbed her cheek and moved closer to get more of the kiss, which almost made my coat fall off me, but Mizu grabbed it and pulled it over us.

The end.

[greenerteacups]

hey gt! So, I’ve been writing for many years- either poems, ff, or my own stories and one thing I struggle with ALWAYS is finishing…. The damn…. Story…. I know it’s kinda stupid to say that I write but never finish the work but I truly struggle with it. I find myself 1. Stuck on a scene and over editing 2. Fearing I’m forgetting parts from the previous chapters and creating plot holes 3. Questioning every decision from the story that has made me come to x point !!!!

Maybe my niche is writing one shots or something idk- I’m to anxious to have anybody beta read my stuff, too so that doesn’t help I guess. Any advice?

It's not stupid, and it's also not a bad thing! If you're a hobby writer, especially a fanfic writer, you are not actually obligated to finish anything. You're doing this for free, you're not on a deadline, and (assuming you haven't published) there is no one except you counting on this story to be finished. Don't beat yourself up for not finishing a story. I have like 30 unfinished drafts and oneshots sitting in my Google Drive. They're never gonna see the light of day. But I don't care! Because I had a really great time writing them, and when I stopped having a great time, I stopped. Neither of us are paid, man. Life is hard enough without acting like the overseer of the Fanfiction Factory is gonna come beat my ass if I don't crank out finished products.

Perfectionism is a horrible disease that kills art. It often grows out of a desire to make your art better, which is good and productive, but perfectionism chokes artists with the belief that it's better for something not to exist than for it to be bad. Because bad is embarrassing, and creating nothing is not embarrassing. Plus, nothing will ever be as good as the version of it that exists in your head, so why not keep it in your head, right? It's perfect there.

One helpful thing to do, in my experience, is to take off the expectations that it has to "Be" anything in particular. Nervous it's not gonna be Deep or Interesting or In-Character enough? Well, maybe it won't be, but you're still going to write it, because you're a writer, and it's fun, and it's interesting, and you're trying something new. You gotta trust your skills. and if you don't trust your skills, then — well, fuck, dude, you gotta write until you can trust them. You need to write things you don't like, and write tons of it — hundreds of thousands of words, I'm talking — until you get to the point where you trust yourself to write a sentence. Write until writing something bad isn't scary any more, because you know you've already done it, and you trust that the next thing you write after the Bad Thing will be better. So if you think your ending is bad, you need to write it. Writing it badly will still make you a better writer. And if you hit a problem and want to change it, then do that, and that, too, will make you a better writer. The only thing that won't make you a better writer is not writing.

Also: I would seriously try to find someone you trust and ask them to beta for you. Sharing your work is a really good way to break the cycle of perfectionism, because it proves to the animal hindbrain that someone can enjoy your work without thinking it's perfect. And it takes the pressure for noticing plot holes and editing mistakes out of your hands.

Or you can shrug, go "fuck it," and publish with the plot holes and editing errors in there anyway. And then so what? You've published something imperfect? Dude, me too. High five.

[broodsys]

ive been thinking about this a lot lately and kinda just wanna say it somewhere.

that said, feel free to just scroll on by bc this is heavy. also super long? i just- needed to get it off my chest, kinda.

cw: sexual assault, alcohol and drug use

so, in highschool there were these two guys who were in my friend group but i wasn't rly friends with, we'll just say L and N. L had an obvious crush on me and kept trying to get me to date him even tho i had a boyfriend and he knew my boyfriend - once i ended up going on a date with him bc my autistic ass thought he was just trying to hang out, lmao. anyway, it was awkward, esp once my friends told me uhhh no that was a date? u just described a date.

N was a lot more chill but also kinda... he was nice and all, genuinely nice, but he was also one of those no no i'm not sexist i'm an equal-opportunity hater haha! guys. so i wasn't rly close with either of them

but when i went to college they were the only two ppl i already knew and i was rly overwhelmed about being all alone on campus at first, so i ended up spending quite a bit more time with both of them, in and out of school. and it was fun when it was the three of us! they were amusingly raunchy and we talked a lot about related subjects and went on walks together and idk, it was nice. this was before i realized i was trans but i think it fulfilled a Just One Of The Guys need i had at that time

got p close with both of them, esp L. ended up at his house by myself quite frequently. and, well, we drank - this being before i realized i had a unrelated liver disease. and by this point i was out as trans and my family was AWFUL about using the right pronouns and i had no in-person connections who used the right pronouns and i was... p desperate for validation. while also using both alcohol and weed quite heavily to cope

so, yknow... hang out with someone who calls me 'he', talk about gender shit, sigh and go along with the eight million dumb YT videos he wanted to show me, but whatever, i got free liquor and it was smth to do, right? i was even able to lean into being a system around him! that was super validating.

so, surprise surprise, we ended up becoming kinda fuckbuddies. and i was okay with that - p open that i wasn't interested in a relationship but like, sure, we can fuck around. so we did. usually drunk. usually quite drunk. but that was okay because there was still consent going on

but i had one very clear, very explicit boundary. and once he started to cross it - i called him out on it and he pushed back and i had to tell him to stop several times. it wasn't like... aggressive? just very, very coercive. took me a long time to accept that it was still a form of rape. hell, i still struggle to type that out, i want to add caveats to it. but it just was. and that was the big change for me, when i realized he wasn't actually going to respect my boundaries. still hung out with him for a while after that and we had sex a few more times while i was processing my feelings about everything and trying to accept that he was in the wrong and i had a right to be upset

but after that, i just started feeling rly shitty on the walk home whenever i left him. there were subspace/subdrop issues at play, too, which was another brand-new discovery for me, and no aftercare ever, but it was... yeah. it was bad.

still, took me a while to break off the relationship. i was actually at a conference for a school thing when i did it, because being around ppl who saw me as a man, who respected me, who treated me kindly... it totally changed how i saw interpersonal dynamics. like, that whole experience was a MASSIVE wake-up call for me. so that was when i cut him out of my life

now, oddly, this story isn't about L. it's about N.

afaik, N had no idea about any of this. but a while ago, idk probably over a year now, he sent me a nice text mentioning that he didn't know why we'd fallen out of touch. and i usually delete texts after a while but i still have that one. sometimes i want to reply - not telling him the details, just like 'yeah so me and L had smth weird and i didn't want to put u in a position where u had to choose' but also just- memories, yknow? i associate them together very strongly bc the three of us spent sm time together

but i still feel kinda bad. kinda miss N. i saw him become a better person while i saw L kinda become a worse person. i just feel... idk. torn? ultimately i gotta take care of me because no one else can, but i think about him quite often, and about that text i've never replied to. and i also spent time with N alone, and it was just chill. he never tried to fuck me. when i slept over he let me have his bed and made sure there were fresh sheets and everything. he watched me play videogames at his house and let me spend forever on character customization and made sure i had vegetarian food to eat. he was nice, without any strings attached. and we talked about, shit, everything. once we walked for hours and hours - p much the entire night - just talking. he rly opened up to me a lot, and i opened up to him - not about everything and not about anything with L, but about a lot of other stuff. it was an important friendship.

and i just... i regret losing that a lot. i've been thinking about both of them a lot recently. part of it is just coming head to head with things i was using weed to repress now that i've been sober for a while, granted. bc i've been thinking about a lot of things in my past recently.

relationships are messy. but i regret that a good friendship got stained by a bad one.

[cheste7]

idk what i'm doing with my life (10/12/23)🌟

today was a hard day ngl: first, yesterday evening i stayed up late to chat with two of my friends and we were digging up some issues about situationships and stuff like that; then, i woke up late AND FOUND MY GORGEOUS MAN GONE BALD literally born to serve cunt forced to serve the country, i realized they're really going 😭😭.

the whole day I had struggles with focusing and concentration and just to add a little bit of spice... ✨️overthinking✨️

these are some things i did today:

showered and had my hair done🧚‍♀️

just squats for today (sad)🏃‍♀️

had lunch with my family 🍝

studied (just two/ three topics) for my infectious diseases exam (i won't pass it i know), i will revise some other chapters before bed🦠

cleaned my room and the kitchen🧹

went out with my mother to do some errands 🛒🛍

met my friend to give him his graduation gift 🎁

practiced a bit of korean and japanese with apps i'd really like to study foreign languages more but it's a tough time rn, i'll come back stronger after my finals🇰🇷🇯🇵

i want to make a resolution list for the new year i really want to change something in my life and maybe i will find the courage to go to therapy i don't know yet.

[bendrownedenthusiast]

HI! I saw your reqs are open and was wondering if you could do a slenderverse matchup for me?

I'm a 5'3 trans man, super thin but thats because of an unspecified eating disorder. Despite that part my body is more hourglass shaped than anything? Idk why its crazy. I have brown hair styled into a wolfcut and blue eyes (cliche ik but thats just how a was born,,😔) I also have a bunch of scars everywhere from various accidents.

I'm also otherkin! I've got phantom wings, tail, and horns. Basically, I'm an irl demon just like, in a human body. I already specified I'm trans (genderqueer with a pref for he/him), and I'm a fagdyke! I have a pref for men but women....I love them so much.

Personality wise, I'd say I'm usually pretty optimistic. I'm an extrovert, a people pleaser, and I just really like bringing the vibes up when I can. I try looking on the positive side of things. I do struggle with a lot of mental health issues, and I'm also autistic. My physical disability makes it kinda hard to be positive sometimes, but I manage as best as I can. I struggle with intrusive thoughts of all sorts, hallucinations, and just the chronic urge to bite people in general.

I'm a passionate drummer, and I have a strong love for science, history, and language. One of my special interests is CWD, which is a prion disease! I could go on for hours about biological functions and theories and all that. I have a special love for war history for some odd reason. It just sticks out to me more than any other type.

I hope youre having an awesome day!!

-🫀

Matching you with Jessa bc I relate to you so hard, and she's my absolute fav (other than Habit). Also, look how perfect she is, perfect for my first match up :D Have an awesome day!!

[a1exkra1ie]

auston matthews and ginger from chicken run (connor mcdavid) for the ask meme ?

auston matthews

first impression: so, this one's kinda specific, but my first impression of him came from a fanart I saw on here. so really I didn't know much (this was before my hockey era) except, oh, the people here are really into shipping him with some other hockey guy. okay. not like I formed a lasting impression off that, but I did think his outfit was really cool, so you know, there's that. he's the first hockey guy to breach containment for me, I was not really interested at the time (this was not even a year ago 😭) but it's kinda special in that way

impression now: in general, seems like a chill guy. you know I try to perceive the leafs as little as possible but I respect him. also, cool outfits. he slays. good for him. however I DID read a fanfic which I'm pretty sure changed my brain chemistry and which starred him as the protagonist! doesn't change the way I see him, he just exists, doing his thing, except now I'm more aware of the leafs narratives. (thanks cody!)

I can't really answer any of the rest of the questions because like. I really don't know this guy. sorry reuben. you (leafs fans) can keep him. I don't wanna get dragged into another rabbit hole.

connor mcdavid

(aka, ginger from chicken run.) the fun begins.

first impression: generally thought he was kind of bland? I was like. that's just a dude. like he's good at hockey, which is fun, but he seems to have the amount of personality (and structural integrity!) of a piece of wet cardboard. so I elected to ignore him. I didn't know what was to come.

impression now: hoooooooly shit. this man occupies every single one of my thoughts and I don't even remember how it happened. genuinely. something clicked in my brain and suddenly I was obsessed with him. ofc there's something to be said about like, this anxious teen with the weight of the world on his shoulders who grew quite awkwardly into his adult frame, but like, people have already said these things. there's the insane hockey plays, of course he's amazing and all that, but idk, maybe it's the anxiety that touched me? he's so anxious and he's still going and you can tell he worked on it, it's not perfect but it's better than before? like the growth? I don't know. I kinda love him. he's quiet. a little pathetic-looking. I got no explanation for this one

favourite moment: I listened to a podcast and he was saying that he always has to remind leon of just how good he is, and he's taken it upon himself to make leon see it, and you can tell he really does care about it (beyond just the game). and it's a small moment but I'm a big fan of bros supporting bros. keep it up king 👑💪

idea for a story: so I was sorta maybe not quite writing something... which may or may not involve hanahaki disease and mcdrai. and it mostly deals in guilt (that's the good stuff) but it's actually kind of leon draisaitl centric, because he's the one with the disease and he's the one struggling to see that he is loved and he is cared for and he feels guilty for dumping this on connor and it's mostly platonic but also kind of not and well. I have like my own version of hanahaki which I did tell one (1) beloved mutual about but the document has been untouched for exactly a week now and my brain has moved onto other things, so. (if you feel like reading some hanahaki may I recommend this one, it's mceichel, I enjoyed it a lot)

favourite relationship: my most beloved mental illness. mcdrai. (which I found really flavourless like a few weeks back. character growth!) there's something to be said about the our stories are linked and our names are tied together aspect of it, and how they've found each other, and leon would find me even if I was invisible and all that. something about connor always hyping up leon to the media, because he sees so much in him, and he's waiting for other people to see it too, but in the end they never will because connor is right there and connor is the best player in the league and it's always about connor. he'll always overshadow leon by being there. connor can try, he can try to be selfless (and how can you not be when you are this good, haven't you internalised by now that it's no fun if you take the whole stage for yourself?) and maybe he would like a break from the constant attention but he won't get it. something else; they are the centre of the whole oilers team. like, and I'm not an oilers fan but I think I can say this, the team would absolutely collapse without them. no question about it. maybe they would be fine with just one or just the other but they would definitely be missing their other half. (and I could talk about how they are BOTH anxious and they are maybe each other's support, but that's for another day because I don't think people have noticed how anxious leon actually is yet.) …you could say I've had a normal amount of thoughts about these two.

favourite headcanon: I'm electing not to answer this one because as you can see from my mcdrai paragraph there are a lot of things I have extrapolated from bits of interviews, body language and the like, also maybe a bit of projecting in there. let's be honest that I'm pretending to know a man that I don't. I'm not even an oilers fan. this is all headcanon.

if anyone actually read this far. hope you had fun. sorry.

[nathank77]

8/20/24

1:00 p.m

Mike asked me if I'm experiencing any hypomanic symptoms. Of course I was offended cause like IM NOT MANIAC. He was like well you're taking 3000mg of white mulberries despite the LD50.

And I explained what's the difference between me taking 3000mg of white mulberries that are actually significantly improving my life and yes there is risk but at the same time, the short term benefits outweighs the risks.

The golden rule question of medicine is, do the benefits outweigh the risks? Like does taking Methimazole make sense to treat your thyroid versus not taking it, when Methimazole can actually kill you? There is a rare side effect it causing severe liver damage which is why I get my liver levels pulled every months. It can actually kill you if you're one of the unlucky few and your Dr doesn't do level as much as they should.

He asked if I was having racing thoughts and doing risky behaviors. No I'm not. The most Risky thing I've done is increase white mulberries. I don't spend money unless I essentially do a spread sheet and plan my monthly finances for a couple months to make sure I can afford it. I don't have sex with strangers. I don't idk, do drugs for fun.

Racing thoughts I mean they have actually decreased since taking xanax funny enough. Tbh I don't have racing thoughts at all. My thoughts are truly careful and slow and articulated.

I think he thinks that taking white mulberries at 3000mg is a risky behavior. But how is it any different than deciding to develop a movementdisorder from antipsychotics? Short term reward (less hallucinations) but long term life altering side effects...

The only difference is we don't know what will happen from long term use at this dose or any dose at that rate bc the research doesn't exist.

What do we know about white mulberries:

1) they help gum disease per a number of clinical research studies

2) they lower blood sugar per a number of clinical research studies

3) they lower cholesterol per a number of clinical research studies

4) they reduce hallucinations per a number of clinical research studies

5) they can be used as a treatment for Parkinson disease

6) in conjunction with antipsychotic caused tardive dsykinesia and other movement disorder they caused less symptoms of tardive dsykinesia.

I wish he didn't ask cause then he went into the LD50 and it's like, man I just want silence. 90% of the time I've been writing this it's been silent with an ear worm...

I may not live long but all I want is to hear the birds chirp and to sit in the woods and never hear the voice again.

I don't need anxiety about the white mulberries everything I read about antipsychotics are bad. I mean people on them for 3 or more years and they have all sorts of movement disorder and they STILL HEAR THE VOICE. HOW IS THE RISK WORTH THE BENEFIT?

I have a reduction in my hallucination. A significant reduction in it. Enough to say the risk is worth the benefit. Yet I'm suffering no ill effect from it.

I just didn't need the anxiety. I'm the furtherest thing from manic.

Last night when I was struggling to sleep my facial muscles twitched... prob metopolol leaving my body. Maybe the statin side effects still leaving.

Sure it could be white mulberries but now I have more anxiety. I didn't even tell him about the facial twitch cause I didn't need him making me more anxious about it.

Christ it could be from xanax!

Either way I heard a cricket chirping last night and it was the most beautiful sound I've heard in months. Pure silence. Just the chirps.

If I developed a movement disorder from white mulberries I'll kill myself. I don't think they cause it.

For all I know it could be xanax. For all I know it could be the statin. For all I know it could be a the metopolol leaving. It could also be ANXIETY!

I remember before I started taking white mulberries or anything, I would randomly have twitches sometimes facial twitches and I'd just be like it happens move on and not worry but I wasn't taking a mystery supplement at a high dose.

And now I'm anxious. Imma tell my doctor I take White mulberries.

I just was already anxious about my insomnia, my thyroid nodule and my heart. And now I keep thinking about that facial twitch and white mulberries and now I'm scared.

[bylerlipglances]

correct me if i am wrong, this is 'my stress' talking after reading the nested universe theory.

idk if this analogy is right: Mindflayer represents the HIV virus, while Vecna symbolizes the fully developed stage of AIDS, or the final stage of life? 

Fear of vecna can be seen as symbolizing a ‘threat’ that compels individuals to live in constant fear that their deepest secrets will eventually be exposed. This parallels the reality of dying from HIV, which carries a stigma and tarnishes one’s reputation for being promiscuous and gay (HIV/AIDS historically labeled a 'gay disease' and closely associated with gay men)

CLOAK OF SECRECY OVER SEX

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

Why do demogorgons are attracted to blood*? HIV can be transmitted by coming into contact with contaminated blood, such as from a cut or sore

HIV can be transmitted from a birthing parent to their child during pregnancy, childbirth, or breastfeeding.(terry)

Later symptoms of HIV/AIDS: Memory loss, depression, and other neurologic disorders (joyce, will, jonathan, terry, hopper and people marked by vecna)

Use of song 'Tarzan Boy' at rinko-mania seems intentional, considering Baltimore singer McShane died of AIDS-related illness at 37.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

What you pointed out about individuals beyond the gay community, like Billy, potentially contracting HIV, especially given his PROMISCUOUS nature (similar to 'dallas buyers club') Mind flayer using Billy as a HOST to spread infection rapidly, and his ultimate choice of death over infecting others, a heroic sacrifice - "We can be HEROES just for ONE DAY." (MM's character in DBC was a homophobic man who eventually overcomes his prejudice after contracting the virus and losing his trans buddy Rayon, a story of his struggles with AIDS and his personal evolution, a hero at last!)

I'm not sure if there's any connection, but Bowie’s Heroes was also featured in the perks of being a wallflower, which also explores themes of CSA (charlie experiences clinical depression stemming from repressed memories of having been sexually abused by his aunt as a child)

back to billy - men's locker room scene in s3 where Billy attacked the kids (bathhouses/sauna were considered major HIV transmission hotspots in the 80s)

HEAT can kill HIV Virus

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

ST hints at schools grappling with the issue of HIV

the real story of Ryan White's case in 1985, a 13-year-old hemophiliac with AIDS from INDIANA, he was banned from school over transmission fears. Though he won his legal battle to return, his family faced constant harassment and intimidation.

Ryan White's bowl cut and Will's bowl cut bear an uncanny resemblance. (and the age too)

Ryan : 1971 - 1990 [December 6, 1971 – April 8, 1990] Will : 1971 - ? [March 22, 1971 - ? ]

Perhaps that’s why the Duffers placed such a strong emphasis on the hairstyle and refused to change it, despite Noah's insistence.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

THE ENDING

I don't think I'd have the strength to watch the last season in the company of others. Anyone who loves Will Byers, prepare yourself for the worst. I hope the Duffers take their time and release all episodes of s5 all at once and...

Just Rip off the band-aid...

It’s very much overlooked just how pretty much the entire cast were crying A LOT while reading the final script. And how the executives at Netflix apparently did the same as well when they were pitched the ending…

Yeah I’m sure Byler is “endgame” this isn’t about Mlvn vs. Byler. That whole “love triangle” is a distraction.

Are you guys sure though that it’ll be a truly “happy” ending? Or will it be a lot sadder than you think?

[05-redacted]

I posted 251 times in 2022

That's 220 more posts than 2021!

113 posts created (45%)

138 posts reblogged (55%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@arson-jellyfish69

@bamsara

@eldritch-spouse

@cyvorg

@brieffarmpeanutpersona

I tagged 104 of my posts in 2022

#idk man - 79 posts

#give me ideas - 73 posts

#scp foundation - 64 posts

#scp - 62 posts

#scp+x+reader - 34 posts

#scp 049 - 33 posts

#y/n - 29 posts

#fanfic - 23 posts

#scp incorrect quotes - 20 posts

#scp 682 - 15 posts

Longest Tag: 59 characters

#bro i don't even blame wished he stabbed me to but with....

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

SCP INCOHERENT QUOTES

Y/n: EEEEEEE *holding clothing hanger*

Able: Why are you holding that?

Y/n: Thank the Lord your here, any chance you have a sandal on you?

Able: Why the hell- Are you seriously afraid of such a small thing? *stares at roach*

Y/n: Easy for you to say- Aaagh-! Don't poke it-!

Able: Pussy-

Cain: Whats with the screaming?!

Y/n: Do you have a sandal on you by any chance?- Oh my fucking gosh it's gone-

Able: Where- *Looks at cain* Oh- Oh *Grin*

Cain: Huh?

Able: *Untying shoe lace* This will only hurt a bit...Hehehehahahaha

Cain: Why are you laughing? *steps back*

Able: Oh God how long I've waited for this moment *raises boot*

Cain:No wait-

Dining Room

Cain's Screams and Able's manic laughter in the distance*

049: I should go check-

035: Don't,go.

049: But-

035: But nothing.*Sips tea*

Meanwhile

682: *Watching Able chase Cain with a boot while Y/n struggles with her life trapped in a corner trying to swipe the flying roach with a clothing hanger*

999: *Worried noises*

Duvet: tweet (Pathetic)

682: Agreed *Nods*

240 notes - Posted May 29, 2022

#4

SCP INCOHERENT QUOTES

Y/n comes home after a fight

035:And what happened to you? (Knows you got into a fight but also wants to know the gossip)

Cain:Are you alright?(Concern)

049: Oh dear, come here I'll disinfect those scratches (Disappointed bird noises)

682: (Doesn't care just watches)

999: *On verge of tears, gives you candy*

Able:... Did you win? (Not worried only wants to know if you won or allowed yourself to get your ass beat)

Cain:Able!

Y/n: Yes (Proud)

287 notes - Posted May 28, 2022

#3

SCP INCOHERENT QUOTES

Able opens Y/ns room: Hey woman make me pizza- what the fuck-

*Y/n yelling at mic*: YOU MOTHERFUCKING BITCH PENNYWISE DANCING CLOWN LOOKING TRIP ASS MOTHER FUCKING LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE-

Y/n: MOTHER FUCKER I SWEAR ON MY MOMMAS GRAVE I WILL FUCK YOU UP DOG-

Able: *Silently watches you rage*

Y/n: YOU DUMBASS BITCH GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY- NO NOT THAT WAY!!!

049: What is with all this screaming-?!

Y/n: I WILL FUCK YOUR DAD AND GIVE HIM A CHILD HE ACTUALLY WANTS-

049 Shocked: Oh my....

Y/n calming down: Yeah, yeah, that's it!!!

682 entering: Shut the fuck up your too fucking loud I'm trying to sleep-

Y/n: Yeah that's it- NO YOU MOTHERFUCKING PV$$Y ASS BITCH-

682:....I'm not even surprised-

Y/n: Okay so go left and there you will see the exit to the maze- No not that left- YOUR OTHER LEFT DUMBASS-

049: I believe we should leave...

See the full post

329 notes - Posted April 15, 2022

#2

049 x sick y/n because I love him?

°~•SCP HEADCANNONS 5

(Weird thing is while making this I'm sick too)

(049)

*Dramatic sound of scalpel hitting the hard concrete floor*

Your... sick? How did that happened? Is she/he receiving attention?Are they eating well?-

A million questions will come out of his mouth. His worry is very clear from the start.

Is it a disease you have? A virus perhaps?

Or have fallen ill because of the dreaded pestilence?

The researchers through the intercom try their best to calm him down, saying you just have the common flu.

They are not real Doctors, they can't sense the pestilence like himself.

He would try to get the researchers to let him out to find you and tend your sickness. Alas, he isn't allowed anywhere away from their line of sight.

He made an effort to break out that entire week but it was futile so he went on and refused to cooperate with the foundation staff.

In the end they let him see you. Not so nicely shoving you inside the chamber quickly locking up behind you.

He carried you immediately and brought you to bed, mindless brutes! Treating a patient so horribly! No wonder you haven't recovered yet!

What was that? Your alright?-No no no no, He knows you well. You are sick- No buts!!! You will be resting in that bed young lady/young man!

You'll only be able to get up to use the restroom to shower/take a dooky, daily check ups and- damn that's pretty much it.

Don't worry! He'll make sure your never bored during your stay!

He will make sure your comfortable in bed, that one star pillow well be replaced with a softer one from his Doctors bag. He will read whatever books he has to offer in his chamber or will Recite you poems that he himself made for you.

Fuck you wanna sleep with a lullaby he'll also do that. You'll be hearing the most soothing songs he has heard during his time exploring Europe. Your mind filled with the most beautiful melodies

Any paper work staff try to give you will go back untouched, he'll make sure not to tell you so you don't stress about it.

"Don't worry Dear they were just asking how you've been" a small little inoffensive white lie. No harm done!

Now let us imagine if you were sick with something incredible hard to cure? Just like, let's say the pestilence?

Well... There is nothing much more left to say other than you will be brought to his cell but met with a very much different approach...

408 notes - Posted July 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

SCP INCOHERENT QUOTES

*Cue calming morning music*

*Able sleeping in peace in his room, finally letting his guard down*

Y/n: Pass it over here

035: Here

*Passes another red cup*

049: You are aware he'll get mad if he wakes up and sees this?

035: Oh cmon doc, like live a little! *Balancing wooden plank*

682: *Watching from afar*

Cain: He won't be very happy when he wakes up-

Y/n: This is for destroying my homework-

Cain:But you shouldn't take revenge-

035: He burned your crops in minecraft

Cain: That bitch-

464 notes - Posted March 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[thatoneteadrinker666]

//barrels through the window

Minty I think dream me is an idiot-

That's right the exterminator Wilbur dreams are back- (I am growing deeply concerned for dream me's sanity and IQ-) anywayy I welcome you to several times exterminator Wilbur tried to scare me and me girlbossing through it (as I should-) oh and the one time he actually does scare me because apparently I'm not immune to fear sadge 😔

The dream starts relatively normal, I'm sitting in the cage, Niki's not having a fun time and Wilbur still hasn't gotten me my playing cards ROOD. 😤

So Wilbur is doing his usual taunting and I... Am paying no attention because dude just get me some entertainment this cage is boring, I'd settle for a hamster wheel at this rate- and he, not happy with my lack of attention picks me up and promptly puts me in his mouth, I of course start screaming at how unsanitary this is (danger? Where clearly the only issue in that scenario is how unsanitary putting a small person in your mouth is LMAO) and when he doesn't seem to listen I just yank on his gum where it meets his teeth- and Idk if you've ever had something pull there but that HURTS and I'm actively digging my nails into this gap and simply pulling, gripping onto it with all my tiny little borrower strength- anyway he takes me out of his mouth and just stares at me like "what is your issue?" And I ofc (still not scared) go off about how unsanitary that is like I have plants growing from my head, he doesn't know where I been, what diseases I carry AND he hasn't given me a bath since he brought me here etc etc so he throws me into the sink and starts filling it with water and I (a person who can't swim) start thrashing obviously because what is YOUR issue Wilbur.

Then I start yelling more profanities at him because he deserves it for being a prick WHO STILL HASNT GOTTEN ME MY PLAYING CARDS- p sure Niki was looking at me like "oh my god- they're insane-" but eventually Wilbur fishes me out of the sink and I'm coughing and struggling to breathe because ✨can't swim✨ and he goes to pick me up so I shake myself dry like a dog because heck you Wilbur 😤

It then becomes routine for him to dunk me in the sink because it's the only way he's getting his damn fear scent >=|| (though sucks for him that with all the water the fear scent is muddled and not as strong as it would normally be HA Wilbur you have to try harder than that to scare me 😌😤) (dream me does in fact lecture him on the ethics of torturing a pet and he laughs at me like "you think you're a pet?" And I of course just say "you're keeping me in a fucking cage yes I think you're keeping me as a pet" my dreams have completely side stepped how I'm just OKAY with bring kept as a pet LMAO)

He does the whole eating borrowers in front of us but ig my eyesight just isn't that good because I got bored pretty easily and just- turn away while Niki freaks out ?? (He takes about as well to that as you'd expect- and I'm soon being shoved into the sink again)

Anyway the dream ended with Tommy coming over which was neat- little bit worried but that's okay this can't possibly end badly for me-

One-day these dreams are going to take a one-eighty and stop being silly goofy but until then I will continue to be a thorn in Wilburs side ='))

There are like pinches of 💖 anon lore here for you hehehe

-💖

Honestly our dream selves are just built different. Once I was in the ocean trying to use a blender against a shark, and idk how but dream me WON. So good on your dream self for girlbossing through his attempts at being terrifying. Once you get past the bloodlust for smols and general evilness, he’s not that scary. :))) but he’s still pretty scary

Man this guy should just give you your cards already. That’s all you want and it ain’t hard to do >:/ this guy Wilbur is being a big fat arse.

Hell yeah!!!!! Fight back!! He deserves it!! Putting you in his mouth like that!! He shouldn’t be putting strangers in his mouth anyway what a fool smh my head. (Ya got plants in your head? Gonna hope that those were there before 0-0)

What a Chad, you were still screaming and cursing at him while struggling to swim, respect to you. That’s a good way of asserting dominance over the tall man. But he still got his fear scent which kinda sucks lmao he doesn’t deserve that

Maaaaaan you’re awfully brave to just ignore Wilbur eating borrowers in front of you. That’s gotta be pretty traumatizing so gg on your part kek.

And Tommy is probably the best person to appear, because he actually has morals :D! So if anyone was to be the safest option it would be him!

Yesssss give him trouble and annoy him! He deserves it! Exterminator Wilbur sucks! Be the thorn! Fight the power! Make him regret his job! >:))))

and ohoho 💖 anon lore oooo that’s pretty poggers :)

[6mayhem]

it's something i can't really relate to. i kinda consider the kind of depression that draws attention to itself a privileged man's affliction. your suffering being so meaningful to you that you're willing to pay attention to it. for depression to affect you, there has to have been a time without it in your life. otherwise, you just learn how to function around it. that's just my thoughts. and it's been bad, but i always used fear to fuel me. you can't ever be stagnant or else you will rot faster. i have truly deep respect when it comes to death and i don't understand how others can deal with it so lightly. i would never kill myself because it is insulting to everyone who doesn't have a choice. it is insulting to everything that gave me life. it is the easy way out. maybe that's me. Sure on an intimate level I have been at a point where i understood it as the easiest way out. i would argue i always have and it's always on my mind, that I could always end my suffering, but I would never do it. just because it's so deeply disrespectful I guess. it's like leaving the movie theater halfway through a bad movie. sure you may be wasting your time but no matter how much it sucks, people have worked hard on making it happen. idk. maybe it's like some kinda catholic guilt I got. i am not a guilt-free pleasure seeker. i understand deeply that all my joy comes at the expense of someone else's pain no matter how simple that joy. what i struggle with is denying myself joy at the times where i need it the most, which leads to stagnancy. because fear is not enough to fuel me when I am truly drained, but I will not allow myself to refill that metaphorical empty cup, so I just lay and wait until it happens to me. wasting many hours. I want to teach myself to always do something . I don't believe in the tumblr philosophy of just do whatever the fuck, its too careless and lacks foresight... i don't believe in promoting hedonism. hedonism to me is like the other side of the evil coin of workaholism: you both understand that life is meaningless, so you both try to fit meaning into it....you will both die. pleasure will not save you and work will not save you either. will something save you? i don't know. I'm still looking. I think it's stupid and egotistical to write off thousands of years of culture as all meaningless. as if you know more than everyone else. but I get overwhelmed looking into the dozens and dozens of different approaches to meaning because each one of them most be true, right? maybe not created equal but each one means something to someone. that's the scary part: if we truly create our own meaning, there's no one to tell us if we're right about it. that can be freeing or incredibly terrifying, depending on how much you thought about it. There is no god and that translates to a much more terrifying truth: there is no mother/father. there are only people who birthed you, but they are frauds, they were never what you thought they were meant to be, because that thing doesn't exist. there is no one who can tell you the truth. not your mom not god no priest no politician no friend no loved. you're alone. in that way, you can either decide everyone is beneath you, or you're in the hole with them . But never make the mistake of assuming someone's above you, because then you'll bury yourself in the sand with your own hands and cover your own eyes if you believe that another man could tell you what only a god could tell you. just my two cents. but it is scary, knowing no one has answers, so the truest answer must be the one you yourself came up with....I think our worst disease as a species is our lack of trust in ourselves

really how do other people live their lives so peacefully? there has to be a level of ignorance. of thinking your peace is worth more than everyone else's. and you have to think you're significant, you're truly, deeply, important

[chickenfreeblog]

chicken i'm a teacher and i feel like a lot of the advice given to teachers for how best to support students with adhd comes from the neurotypical community. things like chunk information into smaller parts, give frequent breaks, use fidget toys, etc. and maybe that's all good advice (??), but is there anything you wish teachers would do differently? things that would give your brain the best chance of learning?

oh man this is such a good thoughtful question & one that i hope every teacher thinks about, but i know it’s tough so i really appreciate that you are!! i think the ones you gave are pretty good practical tips, honestly? i’m hoping other people will jump in because i just have my experience to speak from.

a couple things that i would say that are less... concrete but just stuff i wish my teachers had known:

- the formal dx isn’t everything / don’t assume that kids are neurotypical

i know there’s a lot of paperwork and stuff around these issues for you guys, so this can be a little tough to manage. one thing that happened to me though and that i hear a lot from friends is just like..... it’s hereditary, and also there’s a lot of stigma around being neurodivergent, especially in older generations? i know my mom really pushed back against anyone that suggested that i had adhd, because she has the exact same symptoms and was kind of like Why Are These Teachers Using This Parent Teacher Conference To Call Me a Big Freak. i know other parents that just think it’s too weird to have an nd kid and basically picked any possible weird workaround over getting an actual diagnosis. i think a lot of teachers kind of look at formal dx as a way to separate kids who are lazy but normal from kids who have “real problems,” and that can get really super gnarly if you’re, y’know, a ten year old whose parents just don’t believe in the idea of adhd for whatever reason.

- don’t assume that kids aren’t trying?

i know there’s totally just some kids that need more motivation for whatever reason, but...... i think the flipside is that..... you can also just put a ton of pressure on a kid who is genuinely trying super hard? i think a lot of teachers have a little bit of an idea that there’s a series of magic words that they can say to properly motivate a kid, and then presto, they’ll follow directions and be Fixed. and definitely they mean well!! but also i think you can really easily make a kid shut down if they’re trying their absolute hardest & none of the adults around them are perceiving it at all? it honestly was pretty traumatic to want to be good at school So Badly and still have every adult be constantly like okay...... we need to talk about why you’re lazy and don’t care and why you’re shitty at this, actually. i think my best teachers just really had a sense of humor about the fact that i was going to misunderstand stuff or forget deadlines and that it wasn’t a matter of them teaching it badly or me not caring to learn.

- if you figure out how to work with one kid with adhd..... congratulations you figured out how to work with one (1) kid with adhd

this is something that autistic people have talked about a lot, but i think it also really holds true for adhd? my partner and i always make each other a lil crazy because despite having Same Guy Disease we have uhhh completely opposite needs. jay’s dyslexic mcfuck and he wants verbal instructions and someone to talk to basically every waking minute or he’s like I’M BORED I NEED TASKS NOW!!! IMMEDIATELY!!! I’M POKING THE WORLD WITH A STICK. DO SOMETHING. whereas i..... cannot interpret verbal instructions worth one good goddamn and if you give me strict instructions and deadlines with no wiggle room i’ll simply get claustrophobic and die. like my ideal school situation is someone gives me a textbook full of problems and they sit in another room and never speak to me unless i have a question. genuinely. i know there’s some skepticism in ed about learning styles, but i do think for people with Sensory Stuff that just being... more thoughtful about how information is delivered and how they’re receiving it can really help? a lot of adhd people really struggle with written info or verbal info, and if you’re relying 100% on one option it’s... kind of impossible for them to Do School in any real way.

- just have a sense of humor / support kids if they figure out a way that works for them?

i kinda mentioned this earlier, but i think a lot of people fall into the trap of thinking that they can motivate every kid into doing things The Right Way, and then a lot of kids just shut down instead? genuinely the teachers i got along with the best were the ones that just.... kind of sat back and accepted that like, i was not native to their environment and wasn’t going to be able engage with stuff the way they envisioned. i took the same math teacher for three years of high school because at one point i just started ignoring her lectures & doing homework during every class. instead of confronting me about it she just was kind of like “weird!!! not technically a sin though!” and we?? got along great after that? like literally better than i had ever gotten along with a teacher until then. i didn’t even know you could go to math class and not cry! amazing. i won’t say i was ever super great at math, but i went from being the kid getting Fs on every single test and never turning in homework to being a pretty reliable B+ student. she totally could’ve gotten offended in that situation since she was trying dang hard to give an interesting lecture, but having her just kind of go “weird! okay” and not be like Callout Post: This Child Is So Annoying made such a huge fucking difference for me (shoutout to ms. butler thank you for letting me graduate high school etc etc)

let kids see other life paths without judgment

kind of in line with the motivation thing, but i think like.... yes kids with ADHD can absolutely thrive in academics, but also make it clear that it’s not a catastrophe if it’s not a good environment for them? there’s so much rhetoric around “you have to do well in 1st grade so you can get into harvard and be a lawyer” or whatever, and i think kids who struggle pick up on that more than people realize. i remember really genuinely feeling like there was straight up not a future for me if i didn’t find a way to just like.... get a new brain??? and i wish i’d had positive role models for the idea that like. you can have a cool interesting life even if you’re very bad at sitting in a lecture!! it’s fine!! maybe you can’t be an astronaut or whatever but it’s still worth trying to graduate and see what’s out there

OKAY my two practical tips: let kids wander the fuck around AND also. start a knitting club

okay this is just for me but lmaoooooooo my elementary school teachers thought i was gonna SIT STILL??? and THINK???? at the SAME TIME???? i don’t even do that as a 25 year old. please. you know those bikes that like power electricity generators? that’s what a hyperactive brain is like. if they’re not moving they’re just not doing anything. 

also yeah knitting club. you gotta. my 4th grade teacher sucked so bad on every single front listed above and she hated me soooooo much but she did teach me how to sit through a 30 minute meeting without crying. fucking around with string and sticks IS adhd culture probably. idk.

[oops-prow-did-it-again]

?????????????

So. Let's pretend this frankly horrifying idea were reality for a moment

Who's giving lessons? Who's giving exams? Who's paying for it? Are we pricing poor people out of children? What happens if people have kids anyway since accidents and malicious acts happen? What happens if the exams are rigged (they will be)? What about people with learning disabilities (you're recreating institutionalized eugenics again) who will generally not so as well at schooling just on that alone, which generally won't translate to how well they can care for their own child?

Who's conducting psych evals? Who decides what's safe or unsafe around children (what is safe? Is a queer parent going to get targeted as unsafe? (it will be))? Are you ready for once again institutionalizing eugenics with the idea that all people with certain disorders are "unfit to breed"?

How do you keep people from procreating without jumping through all these hoops?? Do you forcefully sterilize anyone that can't conform, and save their sperm/eggs until they can? Who pays for that? Who stores it? Will they commit eugenics as well by refusing to allow you to have a child if they can discover it will have certain disabilities or diseases? When do you sterilize people? People as young as 9 have gotten pregnant. Are you mandating surgery on girls as young as 9 years old?? Vasectomies on 11 year olds???

Whatever horrifying reality I just peeked into, I want no parts of. It's sad when parents are clearly unprepared for a child, or abuse their child, but it's not because they're stupid or because they are mentally ill. There are barriers to education that is already available, or they are just a shit person, which has nothing to do with what diseases they have.

And idk about you all, but I'm very scared of the idea of a world where disabled people are compulsorarily nuked as cells. You think ableism is bad now? Imagine how bad it would be for any disabled person in a world where disabilities have been essentially bred out of humans. Imagine if you break your leg and have chronic back pain as a result from the odd gait. The judgment and hatred will be so much worse. There will be fewer social systems bc there will be even fewer disabled people struggling to fight for it than there are now.

Each and every one of you child free people arguing for policing of parenting are arguing for a TERRIFYING world.

I say this as a disabled trans man who would like to be sterilized asap but I want it to be MY choice. And MINE only.

EDIT: so this doesn't get misconstrued, when I say I'm afraid of a world where disabled people are nuked as cells - I'm aware tech exists now for parents to do that and to abort fetuses they think will have poor quality of life in their care. I'm not against abortion, I am pro choice, including in those cases. If the parent doesn't think they can handle that, that's their choice; I don't want children to suffer through lives their parents knew they couldn't provide for. But it should be THEIR choice. Not mandated by an authoritarian regime hellbent on breeding only the healthiest population of people. Not managed by a set of government rules. Talk about a breach if bodily autonomy!

I guess I just wish the “childfree community” focused more on like actual community building and breaking down the constructs of the nuclear family and returning us to a world where everyone had a role in caring for the community in different ways, not talking about babies like they’re radioactive