#idk what to tag sorry ^^

[maryland-officially]

Ok I'm genuinely confused here so don't be mean please. All of this is /genq /nbr

I have a dissociation disorder and I'm questioning plurality (I would be considered traumagenic if I am 1). From my understanding of systems, they're formed through trauma that happens before the age of ten. The brain puts up amnesia barriers and the child's personality doesn't form correctly, so multiple alters are formed instead.

Endos confuse me. They're systems that say they somehow did this without trauma? How do they fit into this? Like, I want to be supportive but some of the rhetoric I've seen genuinely pushed me into a panic attack once (it was a post saying basically you can just make headmates whenever if you want and for fun, you don't need trauma or anything which I think made me upset cos... Why would someone want to be a system and how could they view it as a whole as fun?? & the idea you could just manifest it out of thin air confuses me deeply)

I'm sorry if you don't want asks like this but you're a relatively big blog and I've just seen you say you support endos so I figured you'd be a good person to ask.

Explanation below cut because it got long ^^

Ah, well. Most, if not like all endogenic systems, are non-disordered or use that term.

Endogenic systems can form in many different ways -- we're traumagenic, but we're pretty sure there are some endo alters, and we usually find them by talking into the void of the brain and getting a response that isn't from somebody established-- I'm sorry, this isn't very helpful, but think about it like:

Talking to yourself in your brain, and then suddenly you realize that you do not in fact control the person/alter replying, and that is not you. That's kind of what it's like.

Think of a cave:

At first, you think the echo is yourself. And it probably is, or it could be. And then the echo doesn't say what you say anymore -- it changes it and it isn't exactly 'you' speaking. Well the brain is the cave and the echo is a headmate forming.

This is the way that WE know about when alters form. It's a bit like this. We/a member thinks that we/they're thinking to our/themselves, and then bam. somebody different. not formed from stress or trauma

I'm sure there are other ways this could happen,, but none that we know of

so instead of uhm

I've seen this diagram/things like it to describe DID + plurality, so I'll explain with this.

This is an adult brain

This is a child's brain

This is the child's brain developing

With this model, DID (from what I've seen,,) looks like this.

The circles spread out, and might combine into large circles between themselves but not a full one as the brain develops

I'm not sure how accurate this model is, but I've seen people use it to describe DID. This is a sort of simplified version that makes more sense but is probably less detailed

Anyway let's say an endogenic systems starts as a large circle -- though,, this might not always be correct and is probably not majorly correct, since brains take a while to develop (im so sorry if this diagram is confusing. The circles are supposed to resemble child's thoughts/personality traits and how they assemble into a person. Or at least i think--)

Well anyway, an endogenic systems would look like this in my brain:

A part of the person kind of drifts off into its own thing

And then it might turn out like this

Sometimes there's a piece that there's no way to know where came from. They just kind of appear. They might have dropped from the brain, who knows? It can be hard to tell.

These can be fictives, or other alters.

Anyway this is my take/diagram on how endo systems form. It's probably inaccurate, but hopefully we got it mostly right ;;

[archivebottles]

went on a sidequest this past week to draw some horse girls

[sangthael]

jimmy doesn’t practice knife safety

[anbaisai]

mermay means the perfect opportunity for me to expand upon the mayu secret third leech sibling au from a while back (why is this becoming a real AU)

[thimblings]

the kiss but make it spite x lucanis

[toomanypotatos]

was any of it real?

…

AAA A ACTUALLY DIGITAL ART WORK WOW

Bear with me guys this one was rough and I was low key just like eh it’s good enough I haven’t drawn anything digital since like February so I’m a wee bit rusty

I think tumblr killed the quality so that sucks

[rockafirevevo]

alphys visits a medical doctor

[ink-going-insane]

post that made me think of them (act 5)

[erinwantstowrite]

idk how im gonna replicate that random style shift for the peter doodle in the corner but i am obsessed with it

i just really felt the urge to doodle robin!dick all bunded up for the cold cause it was cute, and thus we ended up with the rest of the doodles

[abovesn4kes]

Totally forgot to post the rest of these designs here! More to follow soon :-)

Doodles below!

[squinkoblinko]

funny post for all 7 of the wkm fans still out there

original image snork Zz snork zzzzz

[whiskeyswifty]

The Eras Tour - Mid Century Poster Redesign

posters in my etsy store

[michelle-jwhssp2719]

Maybe should've tried harder for that scholarship

[distorted-prince]

Started watching critical role C2, i love these two

[tubbytarchia]

thinking about them again. Need someone to encourage Jimmy to start killing people full-stop

[notnights]

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I FORGOT HE HAD SHACKLES ON HIS ANKLES POST FUCKING CANCELLED!!!