#idk whats going on but yeah

[aliceisaperson]

Accurate representation of what happens when I see a mutual in my notifications

[egophiliac]

somebody asked for some Lilia with Meleanor, except the ask appears to have mysteriously vanished from my inbox (???) so uhhh. this one's for you anon! sorry Mel took your ask back to the afterlife with her!

[soranker]

98 lovemail doodles >_<

[chromieclipse]

Krusielle go urban exploring, part 2. Noelle bullies Susie real.

[keets-writing-corner]

Thinking a LOT about Lucifer in the latest Hazbin episode. Idk what I was expecting but not this??

As I was watching my immediate thought was just "huh... Lucifer is kinda of weird..." but as the episode went on I realized the issue

the dude is off the chain depressed, like he says it as a joke but holy cow it is SO BAD

He's manically just creating rubber ducks cuz his daughter really like it that one time but it's empty, it's never good enough but he keeps doing it, maybe cuz he doesn't know how to pass the time otherwise.

like I get the feeling he HAS better things he SHOULD be doing than making rubber duck after rubber duck. At first I was like, "Bruh why isn't the king of hell doing anything?" aaaaand then it became clear...

The dude is disassociating so bad he can barely hold a conversation let alone remember information. He clearly WANTS to, he wants to be involved with his daughter so bad, he wants to care about the things she's doing so bad, but his depression keeps interfering. It's like he can only hear every other word and he grasps onto the ones he does hear semi-out of context. Like you can see every time he catches something that he hadn't before and he just "well shit I didn't catch that part"

and that's why he reacts so weird when people talk to him. He is struggling so bad to engage with the conversation he's only getting 50% of it

does that look like the face of a man who knows what the hell the conversation is even about??? he is STRUGGLING

like Charlie spent so long telling him about the hotel, and he STILL didn't understand what she wanted. Yeah it comes off as ditzy but literally I've been in that position where your brain just "nope, not doing this right now" and nerfs your conversation comprehension. So as someone who's BEEN in that position, to me it feels exactly like what he's dealing with. He's sorta engaged with the conversation, but only as much as his brain will allow

For example, when I'm dealing with this, this is what someone talking to me feels like this where the crossed out parts are what I missed and bold is what I catch, "Hey! You know I was thinking for dinner we could either make some chicken with rice? But if you don't feel like cooking, pasta is super easy and you love that right? What do you want to do?" you can kinda get that someone is trying to talk to you about dinner, and towards the end you get the impression that they asked something that needs your input so you can decently put 2 and 2 together and try and pass off, but crucial bits were left out, I would have no idea that either chicken or pasta is in the conversation only having heard "rice". When someone is just talking at me, I can decently pass off as being engaged but the second I'm required to participate in the conversation I'm screwed. Seem familiar? At which point I have 2 options, try to give a bullshit answer, or admit that I missed what they were saying and ask them to repeat

Lucifer, unfortunately, is trying so damn hard to hide that he's dealing with like 24/7 dissociation, so he can't admit that he's missing entire chunks of the conversation, hence his really weird replies. He does eventually get the full picture and then he and Charlie start having the real conversation

Also, the Alastor/Lucifer rivalry was hilarious but also really indicative of more of what Lucifer is dealing with

Alastor is, unfortunately, really good at picking up people's insecurities, and thanks to Charlie's description earlier and watching Lucifer clearly trying to overcompensate, he immediately picks up on the fact that Lucifer KNOWS he struggles to be a good dad (we know cuz it's cuz of the depression, hard to be engaged when your brain keeps turning off) and decides to rub salt in the wound by pretending he's been acting as a surrogate father to Charlie. Now why Alastor decided to pick a fight with the king of hell is beyond me, I do not understand Alastor (and I LIKE IT) (maybe it's cuz Alastor thinks he's hot shit and was expecting Lucifer to at least have heard of him but Lucifer just treats him like a nobody? who knows)(why would Lucifer listen to radio anyways when he can't even pay attention to a conversation it'd just be white noise)

But yeah I just was expecting someone who oozed either charisma or presence and instead I got a depressed dad who's dissociating so bad he can barely function and be present in his life. The only thing it seems he CAN do is make rubber ducks cuz his daughter really liked it that one time

Idk Lucifer is tragic to me. Whatever the full details of what heavan did to him absolutely broke him and he can't deal with it. He's aware of it, and he doesn't know how to fix it, so he tries to over compensate and sorta makes an ass out of himself but no one says or does anything cuz this guy is supposed to be THE king of hell

Suddenly it's making a lot more sense why he just rolls over and lets heaven do what it wants and even told Charlie to go in his place the start of the show. He's not in any headspace to hold a basic conversation let alone negotiate! He didn't even know who Alastor was, he's been so out of touch

idk I like him, he seems sweet, I hope Charlie brings some light back into his life. He really needs to get out of that rubber duck room

[zaahvi]

GLORY TO THE RISEN GODS

[suwatjanee-02]

I’ve been losing my mind over these guys recently

[mmm-asbestos]

Afraid of clear blue sky

[candytoothed]

“excuse me, miss?”

you turn around, startled by the gravelly, yet soft voice behind you. standing there is the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen, even under the harsh fluorescent lights of the hospital.

“yes?” you hum, blinking gently with a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

he inhales, eyes uncertain like a deer caught in headlights. “do you.. know where the bathroom is?”

you pause, your gaze drifting toward the hallway as you think for a moment. “i think it’s down that hall? i’m pretty sure, yeah..!” you gesture with a point of your finger.

he nods, but his gaze doesn’t follow your point. he’s still looking at you. intense, like you’re the center of his world.

“thank you,” he murmurs.

you smile again with a reassuring nod, your expression warmer than intended.

“hey, um—” his voice falters as he takes a step closer, his presence suddenly feeling all too real. “do you know a.. dean winchester by any chance?”

you ponder for all of two seconds before apologetically shaking your head. “i don’t, i’m sorry.”

his face falls. like a piece of him is slipping away.

he starts to panic, even though he knew this was destined to come. castiel told him, sam told him, bobby told him.

“really?” his voice suddenly cracks, catching you off guard. "he’s— he’s… the love of—" he cuts himself off with a frustrated huff, looking down at the floor. it’s not worth telling you. your memory is gone. destroyed.

you hear the rawness in his voice, the desperation he’s fighting to keep tucked away. your breath catches as you watch him, his eyes glistening with unshed tears now.

“the love of your life?” you murmur gently— god, always so gentle.

he lets out a small bitter laugh, but it’s barely there. he swallows, the sound thick in his throat.

“yeah.” he says, voice shaky but determined to play along. “sure, yeah.”

a wave of sympathy rises within you, one you’ve always given to those who seem like they need it the most. and there it is, that stupid face filled with sorrow you gave to people no matter their problem, big or small.

“where is he?”

dean stares hard, his gaze unwavering, as though your eyes might hold him together for all of eternity.

"he’s lost.”

[scooterscoob]

it’s like there’s an audience.

[egophiliac]

I loved your drawing(and I love your style in general) with Leia in your recent post! If/when you have time can we see more of her in your style? I get so happy whenever I actually see people mention/talk about her and she’s not just forgotten because we didn’t get to see much of her. 😭

thank you! 💙💙💙 Leia/Leah/Lea/whatever is fascinating to me. she is the ultimate unknown. what was she like? how involved (or even aware of any details of the invasion) was she? Silver's basically a physical carbon copy of his biodad, so what did he get from her? like, I understand why the two of them kind of have to stay as these super vague and mysterious figures -- the whole point of them is that their story ended 400+ years ago and they're not really relevant anymore (and. well. the more that gets explained about them, the less that can just kinda be handwaved as "oh the politics were Very Messy") (we can sit here and theorize all day but let us acknowledge that, ultimately, canon gave us almost nothing about them post-Meleanor and we'd just be making things up). I do still wonder about her though! RIP Lea, we never knew you and we probably never will.

actually you know what, as long as we're here, I think I WILL go ahead and just make some stuff up about what Silver might've inherited from her instead.

[probablyautistic-definitleygay]

GOD it must be so difficult for Bashir being the only bitch serving this level of ✨CUNT✨ on DS9

i need that Sudanese-English doctor in a way that violates the Prime Directive :))))))

[dubioushonour]

"Can it run DOOM?" - boring, of course it can run DOOM, I've seen everything run DOOM from a knitted blanket to a pregnancy test to DNA

"Can it be used to recreate Bad Apple?" - exciting, imaginative, ALWAYS blows me away with the execution, an eternal banger, I am never expecting it and I am always pleasantly surprised to see Bad Apple in a new medium

[vampiresinthedaylight]

man whats the dog doing

[clumsypuppy]

horrible truth bomb dropped on my head 20 min ago

[oshaskell]

it's so SO fucked up that the buddie thesis of the show has been there since s02 e08 with Thomas telling Buck "you don't find it, son, you make it", and ever since then Buck has found person after person and has kept reaching and reaching for one of them to love him, not understanding why he can't make it work, while at the same time building a home, a haven, with Eddie. he's been making it this WHOLE TIME and 6 seasons later, he STILL thinks he doesn't have it