#if I ever get my brain in order | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

centeris2 · 2 years ago

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shame getting through all the years worth of countless hours and screenshots of dialogue from SSO was as easy as testing for the call for pick up bug hahh...

so many years of dialogue. so much to type up and make shareable and accessible and hell just preserve all the events from years past...

#don't mind me I'm talking #if I ever get my brain in order #unfortunately my videos aren't really in shareable format #because I'm often swapping to my discord or talking to people so like #private conversations happening in the video because they're not meant to be shared #which means they're not things I can share with people to help with the work load ooPS #not that I'd want to burden anyone with the godawful task of typing up all that dialogue and text anyway #sso

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moreonthismoronlater · 5 months ago

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decided to just post all my recent deltarune art ive been posting to my bsky in one big chunk. if you cant tell, i like rouxls kaard a very normal amount :]

also half my fuckin tags got eaten bruh. i was talking abt how cringefail rouxls is. will be its own post i suppose

#deltarune #utdr #drawing #art #my art #ralsei #rouxls #rouxls kaard #rouxls my beloved #queen #queen deltarune #queenkaard #swatchling #king #king deltarune #they pourt water on him 💔#yes its WATER it is just WATER i was using a limited color palette its WATER #ralsei is blue bc i cannot figure out how to use green #these are ordered from oldest(like a few days ago) to most recent(yesterday)#so you can see me figure out how to draw these guys in real time #shoutouts to Cozylittleartblog for being the best QueenKaard shipper ever #they added more worms to my brain /pos #gonna just copy paste the extra context for the pickle drawing #queen getting burger #rouxls offers to eat the pickles for her. queen doesnt feel strongly abt pickles either way #so she lets rouxls eats the pickles thinking he just wanted them cuz he liked pickles #(he does NOT)#so shes all Woah Dude Are You Okay?#n rouxls is just there struggling and dying like “never…….. better….eth…… mine (chokes down a pickle slive) Queene”#i just love the idea of rouxls wanting to serve and impress queen so badly

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benevolenterrancy · 2 months ago

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If you're taking prompts: He Xuan (reluctantly) trying to soothe a sad (drunk) Hua Cheng?

next time He Xuan will be checking exactly how potent the divine wine Shi Qingxuan gifts him is before offering to share

#tgcf #heaven official's blessing #hua cheng #he xuan #there's only enough room here for one miserable calamity and black water has dibs on it #crimson rain needs to get his shit together because black water did NOT sign up for this #imagine he xuan already being exasperated needing to deal with a drunk sobbing hua cheng #(HORRIFYING he didn't even know crimson rain possessed things like ''feelings'')#but then his stupid fucking sabre starts crying too! what the fuck! get him out of here he'd rather go hang around sqx again over this!#no one is ever going to speak of this night ever ever again #it never happened #debatable who hates it more in retrospect #my art #in other news work has decided that rather than get easier after the weekend it would get WORSE #so i am back to watching cute puppy shows and drawing in order to turn my brain off #managed to get another chunk of my fic written fueled by pure unrelenting fury at coworkers though!

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cent-scratchnsniff · 3 months ago

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doodles and stuff. struggled with painting until i gave up

#lobotomy corporation #lobcorp #lobotomy corp spoilers #i GUESS? carmen and ayins face is a whole thing and stuff.#oh wait hello silly first life stuff. yeah that counts. tee hee?#angela and benjamin are technically there but theyre kinda small compaired to the rest of the drawings in inclusion so im not sure..#ill do angela since she isnt covered #angela lobcorp #carmen lobcorp #ayin lobcorp #netzach lobcorp #it mustve been so prominent. the feelings of affection. those memories of ayin smiling so gently and warmly to her. to Carmen. than angela.#for it to be the very first thing brought up. the very first thing to actually recall from the copy of Her brain. a warmth she would never #be able to see upon that face. a warmth she knows and can recall but never for Her. a man who adored carmen to have such a face shown to he #that now cannot even bare to look at what isnt her what could never be her yet depending on a creation he loathes #for its similarities. for being close to him. for not Being Carmen enough. for being a bastardization of what once was. holding #justifications and trying to convince the self in order to continue forward. its just a machine. a machine must behave as a machine #how miserable. how trapping. how stuck and desperate. ever inflicting cycle of pain. anyways PLATONIC GIOCARMEN!! 🔥🔥#i canot speak upon ayin for there isnt enough room. GIOVANNI!! wanted to draw some interactions w them.#there was a scrapped doodle of carmen talking abt pain levels for beaking bones with a smile on her face while pointing to his body #bc day 48 and decidedly factually stating things with a smile as if it wasnt even personal. even if it is distressing #women in stem 🔥 have her bring over diagrams for him to have as reference. gio helping skim and find pages for specific quotes or a section #to bookmark. just happy at her glee and determination. carmen is holding up a clipboard w a diagram from the red book by carl jung but its #really small and hard to tell what it is. tee hee. there is more rambles but nay. i shant. twas for fun in between stuff #ever constant fear of misconstrued words. prithee. accept my offerings.....#spoke abt them before. i think? so content inside her warmth and joy. alive at her pride. feeling a part of him ripped away at her listless #expression. erased vanished faded from the world back to the murky color of gray further when she left the world. its so. ahngbh.#ill make a rb after this comes out and i wake up on the side blog nieranddear of just more rambles on it all that couldnt fit here #lor spoilers #... maybe. maybe on the rambles. if i dont get embarrassed and dip out of fear. whatever. go my queued post

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bitchfitch · 5 months ago

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I had a shrink appointment today and while I could not see it I knew my doc was going through the five stages of grief while I explained my fool proof strategy for doing my t shots despite a crippling fear of needles: By abusing my vastly more crippling fear of being an inconvenience.

My mother and I play phasmophobia together every week. she usually has a pretty limited time to do this bc she's like. a doctor and a college professor whos always busy. So I asked her to just. hold me to doing them. We don't start playing until the shot is done. so my needle fear doesn't matter because now it's Wasting™ her time and I have to do it quick. Using one neurosis to defeat another.

It's a horrible coping mechanism because it's feeding the inconvenience fear, but it is definitionally a coping mechanism.

#im a 'has a panic attack during every injection or iv theyve ever gotten' type of scared of needles #no it genuinely has nothing to do with pain the needle itself is the fear not the using of it #like i told this story before but i have these sewing pins with lil bow ties on them and i had to get my dad to take all the blue ones out #because they were triggering the same part of my brain iv needles do #just the sight of them with the rest of my cute sewing pins was a problem #And the fear of being an inconvenience is so bad i cant eat around people or be in crowded spaces or talk at get togethers #without being paralyzed by fear of Being In The Way. its so bad ive been avoiding using my power chair bc it makes me take up #slightly more space than i would just standing. and i never took my manual out and about because i moved too slowly in it #and i dont take my crutches on planes despite using them everyday bc they cant fold up like my cane can and so are In The Way #one of the big reasons i dont use the chairs in stores is they have back up alarms. and i hate making noises in public #Yes this is part of the reason i want a Rottweiler for my service dog because i want people to look at the doggie Not Me.#I like people! i like being friendly and talking and making little connections with strangers!!! But i cant be the one to initiate or #be In The Way of a peaceful moment #dont look at me #this is also a big issue i have with making friends or changing the nature of a relationship because like. im autistic #I have Rules for social interactions memorized that i will follow. but moving people from one category to another #is difficult. It is too the point i had problems for litteral years talking to my boyfriend as though #he was a person i knew well and cared deeply for because i kept using the 'rando guy im flirting with on the Internet' script #I have commissioners i want to be friendlier with but my brain says No Stop that is an Impolite and Overly informal way to talk to #a customer™ despite them not being customers when they arnt in the commission process #im like thise huskies who are scared of carpet because its Different than the floor they're currently standing on #its Too different:(#and to be clear i am Completely aware of how none of this makes logical sense and is in fact deeply self destructive #That does not fix it. it is so ingrained in my head that im certain i could convince my brain to let me bite off my own fingers #before i could convince it to let me talk to someone at a help desk or ask my order be corrected at a restaurant

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the---hermit · 5 months ago

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27|01|2025

I worked in the morining, but despite feeling very sleepy I did a lot of reading in the afternoon. I finished Powers Of Darkness, the lost Icelandic translation of Dracula, which was very very cool. It was super interesting to read this unexpected version of one of my favourite classics. I also continued working my way through a nonfic book I have been reading on and off for the past couple of weeks. At the moment I am craving fiction books, but basically everything on my physical tbr is either a classic or non fiction, and I am not sure I have the baincells to focus on a big classic at the moment. But I also have in my plans to visit one of my favourite bookshops on the weekend since it recently got a new bigger location, so I need to find a satifying fiction book to fill my need for fiction during the week. I might borrow something from my parent's bookshelves.

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thefandomenchantress · 1 month ago

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I feel like because of Henry's sad reaction to the drake-up, I sometimes forget that he isn't immune to anger. He isn't always up-beat and happy-go-lucky, he's a fucking menace.

Henry's first line in the entire series is, "You're out of your mind, Liam! Get your head out of your ass for once in your life!" He is by no means happy 24/7. He's the type to get annoyed and "um, actually" you if you don't know the term for a visual novel. He's the type to make fun of you for being self-centered when you won't listen to his stories about lettuce, not get sad about how you don't care. He's the type to start glaring at you if you argue with one of his friends. He is not without a spine. I'd say he's probably the one with the most spine out of himself, Liam, and Jake.

#henry being the first character to swear in the whole series is something we gloss over too much #like that's hilarious considering some characterize him as the innocent one out of the three dromies #...okay new headcanon that henry swears like a sailor has appeared in my brain #and so whoever meets henry and liam gets suprised when they realize henry's the one out of the two who swears constantly #and liam barely ever does #(drew also swears a lot in order to be scary or masculine or whatever)#...this is making me realize i miss early episodes henry he was so done with everybody (mostly liam)#tmf #the music freaks #freakblr #tmf henry #henry tmf

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citricacidprince · 10 months ago

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“I could never choose a favorite between all the Gravity Falls AUs, I love them all equally!”

[Later]

“I do not care for Reverse Falls.”

#I don't care for Reverse Falls or Transcendence tbh- but I have more of a distaste for Reverse Falls #I didn't like Transcendence because I find it confusing but Reverse Falls… I have a bone to pick with that one #its such a cool concept you could be running with; but every time I ever saw it back in the day I ALWAYS saw someone sexualizing the twins #it was almost impossible to go through that tag without someone being weird about those two and if made my brain wanna explode #DONT GET ME STARTED ON WILL #I HATE THAT BLUE TRIANGLE #Bill Cipher had so much potential in that AU; Whats the opposite of chaos? ORDER. Make him just as deranged as he usually is-#but in a scary and meticulously organized way!!! it couldve been so cool!!! I don't want that winey blue baby!!! bring me back my yellow guy #anyone wild tag rant over I'm gonna go doodle and eat pizza I guess lol #prince rambles in this chilies tonight

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philiponmycracker · 3 months ago

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Random shots of drop-dead gorgeous Mr Hulce, from Slam Dance (dir. Wayne Wang, 1987)

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shorlinesorrows · 1 year ago

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qpr jean and neil. that's all i'm gonna say.

do you see my vision?

#i might add onto this later but right now I'm too busy crying #“misplaced forever partner” ARE YOU KIDDING ME THAT DESTROYED ME #neil ordering a hit to keep jean safe changed my brain chemistry #i need them to be friends #i need them to call each other and gossip and send each other stupid memes that only they understand #i need them to slowly grow closer as they heal until one day they can finish each other's sentences #and they ocassionally make super dark jokes about their trauma out of the blue (they bet on how people will react competitively)#i need them to call each other derogatory names but get Super Upset whenever anyone else talks shit about the other and offer to kill them #and i would love them to reclaim the spots next to each other that riko set #and make them their own #they're not partners on the court but they sure as hell are partners in life #the mcs ever #at one point andrew and jeremy are just looking at each other across a table at a restaurant as these two bicker #and realize they have somehow both become the Third Wheel despite the fact that 1) there's four of them and 2) jean and neil aren't dating #the amount of queer platonic pining i could fit in these traumatized people #the: “i'm lowkey obsessed with you but I Really don't like you romantically and I don't know what to do with it”#and the: “oh thank hell me too i thought i was even weirder than i already am. wanna go harass the fbi with me?"#jeremy and andrew watch this trainwreck both exasperatedly and proudly you can't convince me otherwise #cannot convince me that these four won't somehow end up living in each others pockets even if they live 1000 miles away #kevin pops in frequently as his usual wonderful diva self #anyway i'm going insane how yall doing #neil josten #jean moreau #all for the game #the sunshine court

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chocolategothwolfhorse · 1 year ago

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“Slay the Princess”-inspired ClanGen blog. This anything?

#my brain is too big but my time is too little—#I’m working on this rn #taking notes with each clan every moon in order to construct some kind of story out of it #I need this so I’m doing it myself #no idea if I’ll ever get the chance to make it public tho OOF #anyways the clans are Heartclan Lungclan Liverclan and Nerveclan #iykyk #clangen #wc clangen #warriors #warrior cats #slay the princess #stp

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its-all-papaya · 6 months ago

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new landoscar fic changed my life on god i had to come and tell you about it hope im not being presumptuous but can we hope for a part two i would scoff that in a second

the aftertaste, bittersweet

YAY THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME ABOUT IT !!! i love when people come talk to me about my fics <33333 and so so glad you liked it!

i have no actual plans for a part two, but none of my works are ever like fully finished in that most of them have extemporaneous connected plotlines already existing in my brain. and also bc i get so very attached to every version of lando and/or oscar that i write, and i never want to leave them behind.

that's the official answer, the unofficial answer is i love a/b/o and i love love sub lando and i probably definitely could write more of this relationship down the line. so if people like it enough (i live for praise, after all), it's probable i'll come back to these guys. i've got some ideas for them.

tyyyyyyy for visiting my inbox, come again!!!

#omega lando fic #answered #here's the deal.#they're obviously in love. but like. it's technically fwb? i think? so there's a dtr in the future there somewhere.#like they're definitely hooking up exclusively and they definitely both kind of know it but it's like. idk. not a relationship.#the other thing is lando finally having a partner who he trusts and who knows what he wants opens up possibilities #but lando stillllllll has to ask for new things. like okay cool! oscar knows you like being ordered around!#oh you want his hand on ur throat? he's not just gonna DO that babydoll! not without asking!#and oscar is still like lovesick puppy. he's not just gonna choke u out the blue.#surprise! telling ur alpha u like to submit doesn't solve ur problems forever!#also lando being afraid to be bratty bc he's so used to having to finesse his way into any situations that are vaguely dom/subby.#so like if he ever fought back before his partner would def just like... stop trying to be in charge. bc lando is 'not a traditional omega'#but his first time being a shit to oscar during a scene and the thrill of oscar being like 'be good or ur not getting my cock at all'#blue screen lando brain #riches #anyway !#i clearly have a lot of ideas for these fellas #so. bother me about it. you'll get what you want probably. i'm suggestible.

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vanishintoyou · 9 months ago

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WEEEOOOWOOOWOOOEEEE

#presented in my first ever conference WHATTTTTTTthe hell #so crazyyyyyyyy i just ordered sushi as a reward skmamsskkdkfjffjkfkd #i had a coupon anyway BUT STILL it costed so much. shhh shhh this is supposed to be a reward just take it #im trying to make my brain understand rewards again. she forgor #but anyway WOOWEIEOOWOWEOOE WHATTTTT #it was so excitinggggg so nervous woooooooo even if it was just online for me it was crazyyyyyy #i shall not think abt this too much other than this. slay #even though i get rlly nervous and kms over it every day i gotta admit im good at presentations #and also answering questions on the spot #aaaa wow. wow this is really a big accomplishment it's crazy how im realizing it just now #sushi comeeeee faster my way 🤲#🗒

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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 1 year ago

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oughhhhhhhhh i’m reading the knight!sugu fic again……………………………. maybe . i’ve already hit my peak

#LIKE IT’S SOOOO?????#i guess it’s because it’s so long…. and i spent so much time thinking about it…….. ari when hard work pays off 😳😳#but . aaaa. even just reading it makes me so happy :’3 #i don’t know if any character/reader dynamic i make will ever be as dear to me….……….#i’m also just polishing it as i read bc . i doooo think it could be better structure-wise 😭 some parts are a lil clunky!!#but like . again. i think that’s kind of a given when the fic is so long #wahhh i’m just feeling emotional over it :’3 #btw . mickey. if you happen to see this. i’m rereading the fic so i can properly answer the ask u sent ages ago …….#i’m so sorry for taking so long T_T i got so hyped to answer it that i scared my brain into procrastinating #just need to get my thoughts in order bc this fic and couple makes me so overwhelmed:’3 in a good way i think…..#anyway i love them i adore them i would sell my soul for them . knight!sugu and his spoiled brat <333333333 #the only fic i can picture being better (if i do it well) is the bfb!kenjaku fic i have HIGH hopes for that bad boy #ari noises ✩

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astralprisms · 1 year ago

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*howling like a great wind through a canyon, it engulfs your mind, drowns your senses. Above the howl rises a screech, gleeful and maniacal. It is the way and the truth. Absolute.*

The Emperor: Leave - them - alone.

*the screech quiets, the howl fades. Your mind is hollow, save for one lone voice.*

The Emperor: Bane's Chosen has fallen - his Netherstone is yours. You have done well.

Xa'rok: I heard the Absolute scream.

The Emperor: You heard the Elder Brain. It's regaining its autonomy. It cries not from pain, but exaltation. We must stop it, before it breaks free.

The Emperor: One Netherstone remains - Orin's. We must find her and take it from her. After that, we take control of the Brain. You should start wondering what you will do then.

Xa'rok: I'll decide once we get there.

The Emperor: ...sometimes, you surprise me with your wisdom.

#this scene is so fun #rip disabling subs to maximize ps5 screen real estate so none of the text is in these gifs #the emperor bg3 #bg3 #githyanki tav #my tavs #tav: xa'rok #my gifs #look at my guy (gn)#!!!#in order to get this btw you need to take out gortash before orin #then the brain starts acting up and Emp tells it to fuck off. very fun for me personally #technically xa'rok's first answer was 'I'll put an end to it' but I waffled on the 'I'll figure it out' choice and I like that response mor #also rare not carrying the sword of screams moment for xa'rok #but ever since I realized the guardian's sword has the same model as the shortsword of first blood I've put that blade in rotation #for xa'rok to carry #fun (awful) to think about if the guardian's blade also IS the shortsword of first blood #whose description states: 'a golden blade - exquisitely made and astonishingly sharp'#and that deals more damage to enemies who haven't been injured yet #so if you're stabbing the guardian with it.... ough #xa'rok has since ditched the circlet of psionic revenge for balduran's helm for that sweet hp bonus + narrative irony #but I do miss the circlet and it looks good on them #also annoyed what tumblr and the gif program did to the coloring because in the actual video #xa'rok is bathed in colored light from the stained glass windows and looks so so cool

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iridescent-lightning · 3 months ago

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question: what's the last film you watched and what did you think?

statement: easter eggs are the best shape of chocolate and i should be allowed to buy a big hollow egg all year

Oooh. That's a good question, and unfortunately I don't remember the answer 😅 to be entirely honest I don't watch many movies or tv shows! I mostly just have various videos essays or astronomy college lectures on in the background while I make stuff. Keeps me sane.

...yeah chocolate eggs really do hit special don't they? Nothing quite like that first cronch. Gonna have to delve into my chocolate stash at work tomorrow now LOL (I've been really enjoying the Reece's eggs lately. Peanut butter. I'm too hungry for this 😭

For the art tax (stuff I do while half listening to youtube) have this Espeon I made! Patterned it up myself through Much Suffering... I really wanna make glaceon but I need a Very Specific Color that.. kinda just doesn't exist? So I had it printed on plain minky and it's now in the mail.

Anyway I can stop rambling now, thanks for the question and the 100% correct statement, friend!

#to explain the fabric color thing #i really like shiny glaceon. BUT! i ended up using a really lovely deep blue with a hint of purple for the accent color #(shannon cuddle 3 marlin purple if any of yall are curious. the color is delicious.)#and to match it for the second accent i need a periwinkle color thats halfway between blue and purple #which basically doesnt exist anywhere #peri comes in dot minky but its more of a dark greyish blue than light blurple for lack of a better descriptor #and one place has the perfect shade but after ordering my fabric i looked up reviews and.#well.#i may or may not ever actually get said fabric.#so i just found the right color on spoonflower and ordered some of that along with a gorgeous nebula print #theoretically it arrives thursday!#and im trying to make a body pattern based off of this 10+ year old art i found online as inspiration #its so hard to pattern things #like dear god. end my suffering #but by the time i have an acceptable glaceon body made i should have my periwinkle fabric #to use for the other accent #hnnnng the color combo of white indigo and peri scratches my brain in such a way ghat it makes me go feral #....might have to post it when it comes in #and im partially redesigning glaceon to be a FLOOF #ok i really need to shut up and go shower

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