#if i think about the future too hard I’ll fucking explode. hate it here

[solitarypisces]

little pisecs vent under the cut ig. just needed to get some shit off my my chest

I went from having basically nothing to do uni work wise to being overwhelmed with work fuck my fucking life man. Can’t have shit in this fucking house and also entirely unrelated but i think 80% of this house hates me atm but I can’t fucking tell because of the fucking autism. Great. Fantastic. Feeling really good right now. I feel like shit all the time. Is it the time of year or is it my chronic illness? who can tell? not me that’s for damm sure! I’m so tired. all the fucking time. My head hurts all the time can’t tell if it’s cause I’m tired or that it’s because I don’t drink water. kill me now :3

[yuma-mukami-garden-god]

Can I make an NSFW request for Subaru?

For the sake of a political alliance, Karlheinz decides to tie his youngest son, Subaru, to the daughter of a powerful vampire noble. A forced engagement — and neither of them is the least bit thrilled about it.

She’s a spoiled little brat — sharp-tongued, full of herself, and sinfully gorgeous. Everyone calls her the jewel of her family. On the surface, she’s petty, arrogant, and absolutely impossible — especially when she’s near her future husband. Titles, power, prestige… none of it impresses her. Becoming part of the royal vampire family doesn’t make her heart flutter — it makes her roll her eyes.

To her, Subaru is everything she can’t stand: a walking disaster with terrible manners, a filthy mouth, and that volatile temper that always seems one wrong word away from exploding. Truth be told, the only thing saving him is that face — and that body. But what she refuses to admit… is how her whole body ignites, throbs, and aches when she watches him lose control. How often her thoughts wander to his rough hands, that foul mouth yelling and cursing at the top of his lungs whenever something pisses him off, and how deliciously dangerous his touch must be.

During a ball hosted by Karlheinz, the girl ends up drinking a bit too much and finds her fiancé sulking far from the crowd — like the antisocial loner he is. Annoyed that he doesn’t even bother to greet her, she storms over to confront him about his terrible manners… but things spiral out of control

((inebriation + emotional coercion), enemies-to-lovers dynamic, rough sex, biting, dirty talk, possessiveness)

“Cracked Crowns & Broken Restraint” — NSFW Subaru x Reader

The ballroom glitters like a dream — chandeliers blazing, nobles preening like crows in silk and jewels. But you’re already on your third glass of bloodwine, and it’s not helping the throbbing headache caused by one particular silver-haired menace.

Your fiancé is nowhere to be seen. Again.

Of course, Subaru Sakamaki can’t even fake decency for one damn night. While you parade around like some painted doll on your father’s arm, he gets to sulk in some dark corner, brooding like the emotionally stunted disaster he is.

You find him outside — half-drunk, back pressed to a stone pillar, shirt unbuttoned at the throat, white hair catching moonlight like snow. He doesn’t even look at you.

“You little shit,” you snap, heels clicking to a halt. “Ignoring your bride-to-be in front of the entire court? Real classy.”

He scoffs. “Tch. You think I care what those pompous assholes think? Let them talk.”

“God, you’re unbelievable.”

“And you’re annoying,” he growls, finally turning. “Always running your damn mouth. Just shut up for once.”

You slap him.

He grabs your wrist before it lands, eyes blazing. “Try that again.”

“You bastard,” you hiss, heart pounding. “You think I want this?! You think I chose you?”

His grip tightens. “Good. Because I didn’t choose you, either. Spoiled little brat — thinking the world bows to your feet.”

Your face is flushed. Anger. Wine. Something hotter.

“You hate me?” you bite.

He yanks you closer. “Hate doesn’t even touch it.”

And then you kiss him.

Or maybe he kisses you. It’s hard to tell — all heat and teeth, mouths crashing in mutual fury, your back slamming into the pillar as he pins you there, hand tangled in your hair.

“Fuck,” he groans against your lips. “I knew you wanted it.”

“You’re delusional,” you pant, clawing at his shirt.

“Then why are you grinding on my thigh like a bitch in heat?”

You don’t answer. You moan — because his hand’s already between your thighs, pressing hard through satin.

He rips your dress, impatient and shaking, fangs dragging along your throat.

“I’ll ruin you,” he growls. “Right here. Let them hear you.”

You’re dripping. Writhing. Already soaked as he frees his cock and lifts your thigh over his hip.

“No one touches what’s mine.”

He thrusts in — raw, deep, possessive — and you scream. His rhythm is brutal, hands bruising your hips, lips stealing every cry as your mind blanks out in waves of sensation.

You claw at him, at his back, his hair, half-lost in the haze of bloodwine and ecstasy.

“You hate me?” he snarls in your ear, fucking you harder.

“I hate you,” you sob. “I—”

Orgasm slams through you like fire. He follows, groaning your name like a curse as he bites down, marking you in front of the gods and the stars.

He doesn’t let go.

When your legs give out, he catches you.

Still inside you.

Still trembling.

Still angry.

“…You’re mine now,” he breathes against your throat.

And the worst part?

You don’t want him to stop.

[bradshawed]

you're the sweet one and of course! you're invited to everything i will do starting today. here people get some "bombs" and when they explode the noise its loud as fuck, its terrible. but hey if you want i can cover your ears for the noise dont bother you as much while you watch.

best dessert of all time? tsc tsc i dont think so babe. maybe you will be outraged again if i tell you that i hate coffee? but i will give a chance bc of the cream AND the licor. i do love homemade food its really the best, and yes please i'll love eat your tiramisu! YOU MADE THAT? it looks so fucking delicious and so beautiful. its your letterr?

i prefer salty food. like i can eat tons of salty food at some party. i love sweet but i dont like things too sweet so i dont eat as much. spicy food is a no for me, im too pussy for that.

do you like to read? if yes which one is your favorite book?

loved the little pictures that you posted ♥

-💌

please bc those bombs sound awful :( but no i’m not outraged that you don’t like coffee, just warning you that i’ve drank so much that the caffeine barely affects me, so it’s more of an emotional support iced latte to morning lectures than anything else. a tiramisu is more creamy than anything and you can always make it with substitutes to your taste but you have to try the classic version first. && yes, i made that and the lettering took far too long bc i’m a bit of a perfectionist.

i’ll admit, i wasn’t expecting you to be a salty food person. generally i prefer spicy food but i agree that i do like sweet food but i can’t have a lot of it at once or it’s too sweet for me.

funnily enough, my most commonly reused resolution has always been to read more. i adore reading but i’ll always be more of a film person. for that, i’ll give you my letterboxd top 4 books (in no particular order) because i can’t possibly choose.

1. agatha christie. not a book but an author. i grew up watching poirot so this is a series that i hold very close to my heart. it’s so ingeniously written and incredibly creative. even if i have read far too many thrillers and murder mysteries and can sometimes figure out who did it, her characters have a certain charm about them that’s hard to find in books today.

2. honey girl by morgan rogers. it’s just such a beautiful book that really resonated with me when i read it and in some parts still does today. if i was to reread a book, it would be this one but i rarely do because it’s all ingrained in my mind and ruins the feel of it for me.

3. the book thief by markus zusak. i saw the film first and it reduced me to tears multiple times so i knew i had to read the book which did not disappoint (and also made me cry). books rarely tend to make me cry so when they evoke an emotional response, i tend to hold them in higher regard, and the same goes for honey girl.

4. film for her by orion carloto. this was a book i stumbled upon at the right time, when i needed it the most. i had disconnected from my past and present, anxious about future, just really needing to take a break, slow down and rediscover what makes me happy. her experience really spoke to me, as well as her style, especially since it combined my love of writing with photography.

(glad you liked the pictures and sorry for the slight ramble)

what are your favourites?

[tyongxnct]

𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑡𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 - 𝑀𝑎𝑟𝑘 𝐿𝑒𝑒

pairing: Mark Lee x reader

special guest: Jaehyun, Johnny, Yuta, Jungwoo, Taeyong, Doyoung, mention of Haechan

summary: Years ago, you were deeply in love with Mark Lee. He’s your first love and you thought he’d be the last. After finding out why he really dated you, he broke up with you and vanished. You were devastated and heartbroken. Now you were at the airport as the maid of honor of your best friend Aera, her wedding’s in Greece and you were flying three days earlier with her, her fiancé Jaehyun and his best man. Little did you know that Mark Lee was Jaehyun’s best man. Feelings you thought you had buried deep inside bloomed again.

song: back to you - Selena Gomez

genre: exes-to-lovers!au, angst, smut, fluff

warnings: smut, alcohol consumption, swearing

word count: 11.7k

A/N: I’m finally done. This is the last fic of my series and I can’t believe that i’m done with this series. This series means so much to me, not only because I love Selena Gomez, but also because of the meaning behind evey story. Thank you for all of your support, thank you for every comment, like, reblog, ask and follow. This is just the beginning. Also thank you for requesting that you want to read a second part to some of my stories, I’ll try to write them in the upcoming month, march. I hope you enjoy. Thanx

taglist: @alex-chann​, @aesthetichrj @bvbyxuxi​​

© tyongxnct on all platforms

Took you like a shot Thought that I could chase you with a cold evening Let a couple years water down how I'm feeling about you And every time we talk Every single word builds up to this moment And I gotta convince myself I don't want it even though I do

“I have BIG news!” Aera squealed as soon as you opened the door for her. She hugged you tightly and started jumping, you jumped with her even though you had no idea why.

“Why are we jumping around?”

“Greece! I’m getting married in Greece!” she yelled happily, “You know that it’s my dream to get married in Greece and my amazing soon-to-be-husband surprised me with it! Oh god, I  can’t believe I’m marrying Jaehyun in fucking GREECE!”

“Holy shit that’s great! But can we stop jumping I might puke.”

You sat down on your couch with Aera, “We need to start planning, the wedding is in 3 weeks. I’ve sent the invitations right before I came here. We booked a hotel with the best view ever and my wonderful maid of honor aka you are flying with me and Jaehyun a two days earlier, you know, to get stuff done and the others come one day before the wedding, your man too, by the way. I can’t wait for my bachelorette party- but remember, I promised Jaehyun no strippers.” Her eyes sparkled as she talked about her wedding and you started thinking about your own future.

Were you ever going to get married? You want to get married, you really do. But what if you never get the chance to? Your boyfriend hated to talk about commitment and marriage, he said living together and dating was enough, but you never felt the same way. You wanted to get married, you want a ring on your finger, and you wanted to call him your husband, not your boyfriend.

Aera left after a while and you were alone, until you heard the door open with a sigh. “I’m home.”

His voice, no, his existence alone triggered you and without knowing you plugged in your earphones. “I said I’m home Y/n. There she fucking goes again, god I’m not going to deal with you tonight.” And without saying anything after that, he left again. Minho, your boyfriend of two and half years, always left you alone. He never bothered to talk to you about the problems in your relationship and after trying and trying, you were sick of it.

Dating him was almost torture but breaking up with him was also difficult. You were so scared of being alone, of not being loved.

Almost three weeks later, you found yourself at the airport with Jaehyun and Aera. Jaehyun looked at his watch every two minutes and he looked really nervous too. “Where the fuck is he?” he mumbled and Aera kicked his leg. “Ouch?” he hissed in pain. “Sorry baby didn’t mean to kick you that hard.”

“What is going on here? Who are we waiting for?” you asked confused. “You didn’t tell her?” Jaehyun asked his fiancée. Aera shook her head.

“W-Well about that- uhm, there’s one thing I have to tell you, but don’t get too mad,” Aera looked at you nervously, “you, uhm… you remember Mark Lee, right? Please forgive me for not telling you, but- fuck, he’s Jaehyun’s best man. He’s coming with us.” Aera closed her eyes, scared of your reaction.

“You are joking right?” your heart pounded against your chest.

“N-No, I really didn’t know that you didn’t know- a-and you know, Mark’s my oldest friend and yeah, and uhm, fuck he’s coming act natural.” Jaehyun looked at his phone and laughed, even though his screen was dark and Aera laughed with him.

“How the fuck am I supposed to act natural?!” you almost yelled bus as soon as you heard Mark’s little hi, your heart stopped beating.

It’s been almost three years since you heard his voice. Every memory played in your mind like a sad movie, the second he asked you to be his girlfriend to the end of your relationship with him, the moment he broke your heart almost made you cry again, but Aera stepped on your foot and you came back to reality.

“Hi.” You said coldly, his last word replaying in your head over and over again.

Aera and Jaehyun watched you and Mark awkwardly and Mark couldn’t find any words to say, except for, “H-hi.”

“Sooo, now that everyone’s here,” Jaehyun handed you your tickets. “Thanks.” Mark mumbled.

You were about to go on board, you didn’t say a word since Mark came and he was busy talking to Aera and Jaehyun. “Y/n, we’ll see you guys when we land alright?”

“What do you mean?” you asked confused, “We sit together? Right?”

“W-Well about that- we are flying first class, we wanted to spoil ourselves a little- please don’t get angry I’m sorry I am so sorry.” Aera whispered and you felt like you could explode any second like a volcano.

“Y-You mean… you’re telling me I have to sit with him for the next couple hours?! All alone?!” you tried to whisper but it was loud enough for Jaehyun and Mark to hear.

“shh! Just, I don’t know, sleep, or watch a movie or maybe just talk to him like a grown up, please do it for me?” she pouted.

“I’m gonna be wasted when we arrive in Greece.” You couldn’t be angry at her. “As long as you don’t kill him.”

Jaehyun and Aera entered the plane first and left you and Mark alone. “So, how have you been?”

The audacity.

“Good.” You mumbled. How long until you could enter that fucking plane?

“Me too, well, I’d say ok-“

“Look, Mark. I’m doing this for our friends, okay? I’m not interested in your life. I don’t want to talk to you unless it’s about the wedding. Did I make myself clear?” maybe you were mean and bitchy, but after everything he had done to you, you didn’t care.

He just nodded and looked down to his feet.

Half an hour later, you were seated on the plane right next to Mark. It’s not your first time flying, but it was Mark’s first time, and he was fucking scared.

“This is captain Lee Taeyong speaking, I’m your pilot for our flight to Mykonos, Greece. My co-pilot for today is Kim Doyoung. Please enjoy your flight.”

After the announcement and the instructions, you were ready to go.

The plane started moving and you could feel Mark tensing up next to you. His grip on the hand rest tightened and his knuckles turned white.

You tried so hard to ignore him, but you couldn’t. You should laugh at him, take pictures of his suffering- but you held his hand and assured it him that it’ll be over.

Mark looked at you and then back at your hands. Your thumb slowly stroked his hand and he stopped thinking about the plane and he could only think about your hand holding his.

You held his hand until you saw the flight attendant walk around.

Mark thanked you but you ignored him.

“Hello, would you like to have some water or coffee?” the flight attendant asked you and Mark.

“Just a water please.” Mark said.

“Do you have something stronger? Wine? Or champagne?”

“Sure ma’am.”

“Alright I’d like to have some champagne.” You smiled and she nodded.

Mark looked at you, eyes a little wide.

Four glasses later, you were a little tipsy.

“I think you had enough-“ Mark tried to stop you from ordering another glass.

“You don’t know anything about me!” you protested.

“Y/n, get some sleep come on-“

“Mind your own business.” You plugged in your Airpods and ignored him. You didn’t want him to interact with you and If you have to stop drinking for him to shut up, you sadly had to.

You closed your eyes and leaned back. You didn’t notice Mark’s eyes on you, watching your pretty features as your chest raised with every breath you took.

Shortly after, you fell asleep.

You could break my heart in two But when it heals, it beats for you I know it's forward but it's true

Three years ago

“It was a game. I won and now it’s over.” Mark said coldly as he looked away.

“What do you mean a game? And what is over? Mark, babe, I don’t understand.” Maybe you knew, maybe you tried to hide the fact that you saw it coming. Your relationship was too good to be true.

“I told my friends that I could fuck you within a year, and I did. We’ve been dating for ten months. I won. I can’t believe I waited ten months to fuck you.” He said casually.

“What?”

“Are you deaf? I fucked you and I got a lot of cash in exchange. Now we’re over. As simple as that.”

“You’re joking? Right? You love me, Mark. We love each other. It’s not funny.” Your voice broke.

“I’m not fucking joking,” he showed you the money he got, “Now, please get the fuck out of my apartment. Oh, and take your toothbrush with you.”

You were crying and that annoyed him. “Why are you fucking crying?!”

“M-Mark please don’t do this- I love you. I have never loved anyone like I love you. P-Please tell me you’re lying.” You sobbed.

“You know what, I’m leaving. Leave before I come back.”

Mark didn’t want to leave, but watching you cry and sob hurt him, he would never admit that to you but deep down, he felt something for you. Mark thought ending things with you was better than walking on eggshells. It was a matter of time until you would find out. He didn’t want to risk you finding out from someone else. The least he could do was tell you, face to face.

You loved him, you really loved him so much. He was a perfect boyfriend. There was not a single day you doubt him or your relationship. It hurt, you first ever heartbreak and you didn’t know how to handle the pain.

I wanna hold you when I'm not supposed to When I'm lying close to someone else You're stuck in my head and I can't get you out of it If I could do it all again I know I'd go back to you I know I'd go back to you I know I'd go back to you

After your breakup with Mark, you felt your life slowly falling apart. You were barely present in class and you stopped interacting with your friends. You drowned in self-pity and you fell deeper and deeper. Only Aera was there for you. After so many years of friendship, she always got your back.

“Is the pain ever going to stop?” you asked her between sobs.

“Honey, it’ll take a while, but I promise you, it’ll stop.”

Aera and Jaehyun were dating since first year of college and he told you that he had no idea about his oldest friend’s plan. Jaehyun was happy to see his friend happy- because was happy whenever he was with you. You went on double dates and spent so much time together, Jaehyun really thought that you and Mark were going to end up together.

“I swear I didn’t know. His other friends- that Haechan guy and the others were with him. He never told me because he know that we’re friends.”

“It’s okay, Jae. You’re not as childish as they’re. Don’t worry about it. I’m fine.”

And Jaehyun and Aera never left your side until college was over. During your time thinking about life and finishing college, you met Minho, your current boyfriend. You started dating and you thought he’d help you get over Mark, but he only made you feel worse.

He was a fuckboy, he fucked anyone with tits, and even though you knew it, you still agreed to date him.

Multiple fights and breakups followed, and you always end up at Aera’s or Minho would leave for a couple days.

Whenever you were lonely, and it was the case most of time, you thought about Mark. You missed him, his lips, his touches, the way he laughed and his silly jokes. You missed the way he said I love you and how warm and loved you felt with him.

No matter how hard Mark hurt you, you didn’t regret falling in love with him. You’d do it again and again.

We never got it right Playing and replaying old conversations Overthinking every word and I hate it 'Cause it's not me And what's the point in hiding Everybody knows we got unfinished business And I'll regret it if I didn't say this isn't what it could be

Two days until the wedding

Mark shook you softly and tried to wake you up. “Hey, Y/n. We’re here. Wake up.”

“Just a little longer Markie.” You mumbled in your sleep as you held his hand. When you landed, Mark got scared again and just held your hand without asking you. You were asleep after all.

Mark’s heart was about to explode. He blushed at the nickname. You used to call him Markie every time you were sleepy or acting like a baby to get his attention.

And every fucking time he fell for it and his heart softened. “Okay baby.” This time Mark stroked your hand with his thumb.

About three minutes later, the flight attendant came to wake her. “Sir, ma’am. You need to leave the plane. We landed almost ten minutes ago.”

You slowly woke up and stretched your arms. “What? Oh, sorry.” You stood up, a little too fast. Everything was spinning, Mark held your waist and you fell on his lap.

“Are you sure we landed? Everything’s spinning around.” You held your head, not noticing that you were on Mark’s lap. “Y/n, uhm, could you stand up? But do it slowly this time!” he still held your waist. “What? Oh, shit, sorry.” You stood up, a little slower this time.

“Y/n! Mark! What took you so long? What the hell?” Aera looked strictly but as she saw Mark’s arm around your waist she softened. “S-she’s a little tipsy.” Mark said, cheeks red.

“Of course, she is.”

“Am not! Oh my god, the weather is so good!” your eyes were slightly open but as soon as you saw the sea and the beautiful architecture your smiled brightly. You pushed Mark’s arm off and started unbuttoning your shirt.

Mark’s eyes widened, and Jaehyun turned around, he didn’t want to watch you take off your clothes. Aera’s mouth fell open and Mark kept on watching you. Your tank top under your shirt rose a little and Mark’s eyes travelled to your soft skin. You put your shirt in your handbag and took out your sunglasses.

Mark’s eyes never left your body, his eyes going up to your breasts. He needs to get away from you or he’ll lose his mind.

“You can turn back baby, she’s wearing something underneath.”

“J-Jaehyun maybe we should… you know.” Mark locked eyes with Jaehyun.

“What you mean Mark?” Jaehyun asked cluelessly.

“A car, you know, for the hotel.”

“Oh yeah right. Ladies, don’t move away, we’ll go rent a car.” Jaehyun kissed Aera and then they left.

“I’m going to kill him.” You breathed out after Mark left. “You won’t.” Aera posed next to you as you took selfies together. “I will. I hate him. He acts like nothing happened, like, like he never broke my heart. As if we’re old friends or shit like that.”

“He acts totally shy around you. I think you intimidate him. Did you see how he watched you when you took off your shirt? That idiot was and is so into you.” Aera always thought that Mark loved you, no matter what he did. You don’t date someone for months just for 50 bucks. “He’s a man. As soon as they see tits, they’re on their knees.” You laughed.

“Well, maybe you should let him kneel for you a little longer. I guess he’s into that.” She giggled.

“I can’t believe that you just said that.” You closed your eyes. “Well, Jaehyun’s into that.”

“Jaehyun’s into what?” Jaehyun asked as he heard his name. “Into me of course.”

“That’s why I’m marrying you.” He pulled her in for a kiss- a very steamy and hot kiss. “Hello? Keep it PG-13 please.” You looked at them with disgust in your eyes. Mark awkwardly coughed next to you. “The car is ready.”

You were in the backseat with Mark, he was a little close for your liking. “Your leg is touching mine.” You said. “And?” he asked.

“I don’t like it.”

“Sounds like a you problem.” He said back. “Excuse me?” you said in disbelief.

Jaehyun and Aera locked eyes for a second.

Aera turned the radio louder and it was your song.

“Y/n! Isn’t that your favorite song?!” she yelled through the music. Mark glanced at you. He remembered the song. You had your first kiss with Mark, and that song was playing in the background. You were in his car, just like right now, in the backseat.

“No. It’s not.” You said as you looked out.

“What? But it’s in your Spotify playlist. What was it called? Fav songs? Best songs? His songs? My songs?” she kept on asking and you couldn’t take it anymore. “’Our songs’ but I deleted that because that playlist was stupid. Now, please. Change that songs.”

Mark smiled to himself. You still had the playlist called our songs? Mark and you created that playlist when you were dating and you always listened to it, over thousand times and it never got boring.

“Fine.” She sighed. “No! Don’t change that song. I-it is my favorite song.” Mark said and you looked at him with furrowed brows.

“Okay.”

“Change it.” You demanded.

“Don’t.” Mark was looking at you too. “Aera, change the song.” You said through gritted teeth.

“Aera I’ll jump out of the car If you change it.” Mark threatened.

“He won, Y/n, sorry. He threatened with his life.”

You didn’t say anything because the song changed. You looked back to your phone, ignoring Mark.

“We’re here.” Jaehyun parked the car and you mouth fell open. The hotel looked stunning. “Holy shit. This place is fucking gorgeous.” Aera said happily. “Only the best for my fiancée.” Jaehyun was fucking cheesy but Aera loved it.

The hotel was not exactly like a hotel. It was more like little white house’s next to each other with a pool and a perfect view. The house was bigger than you thought, many guest rooms, a big room for the couple and a very big room for you and Mark, at the end of the hallway, far away from Jaehyun and Aera’s room.

“If you excuse us for a while, we have things to discuss in our room,” Jaehyun said as he winked at Aera. “But we’ll get dinner together. Don’t go too far, stay in your rooms or go swimming we don’t really care just leave us alone for an hour-“ Aera kicked his leg again. “or three.”

After unpacking your stuff, you decided to go to the pool. You changed to your black two-piece swimsuit and left your room and at the same time Mark opened his door and left his room. He was in his swim trunks and he stopped his movements as soon as he saw you leaving your room.

Mark tried to hide his gaze on your body, but he was quite obvious. “Stop staring.”

“I-I’m not staring.” He looked away.

“Sure.” You made your way outside, to the pool. It was extremely hot, you put your towel on the beach chair next to the pool and sat down, ready to put on some sunscreen. Mark entered the porch and looked at you. You put sunscreen on your legs and didn’t break the eye contact.

You wanted to tease him, provoke him so you put on a show. You slowly pulled the straps of your swimsuit down and slowly put the sunscreen on your neck and shoulders until you reached the upper part of your breasts. You didn’t need to look at Mark, you felt his eyes on your as he put his stuff down next to you.

“Mark?”

“Y-Yes?” he stuttered, his focus on your breasts.

“Could you help me? I can’t reach my back.” You said innocently.

Mark gulped, “Y-yeah I can, uhm, I can do that for you.”

Mark wasn’t the only one watching. You watched him too. You watched him take off his shirt and you couldn’t look away. He looked hot, hotter than before. Did he start working out? He caught you watching him and smirked at you. You threw the sunscreen to him and turned around. You untied the bikini bra but held it against your breasts.

He squeezed a little on his hand and slowly put it on your lower back, slowly massaging it into your skin. You didn’t know If his hands were cold or If the sunscreen was cold, but after he touched you, your entire body shivered. You got goosebumps, you even felt your nipples harden.

“Yes Mark, just like that.” You teased him again.

“Feels good?”

“Mhm…” you moaned.

His face was close to yours, you could feel his breathe against your neck. His hands slowly travelled down, slightly about your ass. “Hands up, Mark.” You pushed his hands up again, you wouldn’t let him touch your ass.

You leaned back, your head was resting on Mark’s shoulder. You were sitting between his legs and you grabbed his thigh after he put a little bit pressure on your back. You weren’t going to lie- it really felt good. Your muscles relaxed, you closed your eyes and just let him touch you.

“You want me to go harder?” he whispered in your ear. “Yes, please go harder on me.” And he did. You squeezed his thigh, your hand travelled higher and higher, “Fuck.” He mumbled under his breath and when you stopped, you moved forwards. “That’s enough.”

You tied your bikini bra back up and turned to him. He quickly tried to hide his bulge with a towel. “Are you perhaps turned-on Mark?” you mocked him.

“Your nipples are hard. I guess you are turned-on.”

He was right. You were turned on and your nipples were hard. “No, I’m not. Why would that turn me on? My nipples are hard b-because it’s cold. And stop looking you pervert!” you crossed your arms in front of you and made your way to the pool.

“Cold my ass.” He mumbled.

You slowly entered the pool, step by step. The temperature was good, you hoped your nipples would calm down. You watched Mark enter the pool, he was on the other side looking at you.

“This is my side and that is yours. Stay on your side and don’t bother me.” You told him strictly. Mark nodded and watched you. You just stared at each other and then Mark dove into the water. He swam towards you and when he got out, he was right in front of you, face, and hair wet. Chest rising and falling, eyes on you. Mark was really close, like, really close. You could feel the bulge against your thigh.

“What are you doing?” you asked.

“Swimming.” He caged you in his arms and pushed your body softly against the wall. He looked at you and the beautiful view of Greece and the ocean he had.

“Swim on your side of the pool.” He was annoying you so much.

“I have a better view from here.” Mark said as he looked you in the eyes. “Fine, you can stay here-“

“Don’t go.” He whispered. “Why? I’m blocking your view.”

“You are the view.”

You didn’t say anything back- you couldn’t. Your heart was beating against your chest, breathing got difficult and you couldn’t calm down. He was so close, you were about to lose your mind.

Mark wasn’t doing any better. You looked ethereal. You looked as beautiful as the first time he had met you. You were even prettier and the way you were so cold to him was kind of hot. Mark thought that his feelings for you died but seeing you after such a long time only made him realize, that his feelings for you got even stronger.

He always asked Jaehyun about you, but Jaehyun punched him and told him to fuck off because he had hurt his girlfriends’ best friend and his own friend, too. In Jaehyun’s eyes, Mark was a great friend, and he would trust him with his life, but after what he had done to you, Mark lost the right to know about your life. Still, Mark tried to find out If you were feeling any better after the breakup. If you were happy without him in your life, but he always failed and reaching out to you would be the worst thing he could do to you.

Mark’s hands were on your waist. He pushed his body against yours and he knew how nervous you were, but two can play this game.

Your hand was on his toned stomach, caressing it softly and then going down. You never broke eye contact and when your hand landed on his crotch, softly squeezing his bulge, he let out a moan. You were bold, you kept on playing with his bulge and Mark’s lips were attacking your neck. He placed soft kisses and started sucking.

“Fuck, Y/n. It feels so good. Please don’t stop.” He moaned as he squeezed your waist slightly. Before you could realize what exactly was happening, your phone rang.

“Ignore it.” Mark mumbled, his lips leaving your skin for a second.

“Mark- no.”

“Please… I’m so close.” He kissed your neck up to your jaw. You wanted to keep doing whatever the fuck you were doing with fucking Mark Lee, but your phone never stopped ringing. “You’re close?”

“Yes baby, so close.”

And you stopped your hand movements immediately. “W-What no please-“ he begged but you pushed him away. “You’re a big boy, right? You don’t need me.” You stepped out of the pool and wrapped the towel around yourself. Mark was painfully hard, and he was about to cum.

You took your phone and looked at the messages you just got. Minho texted you and you realized that you just gave Mark a handjob, even though he didn’t cum, and you totally forgot about Minho’s existence. Not that Minho always had you on his mind.

“You have got to be kidding me.” You said.

Mark looked at you curiously.

You called Minho immediately, not caring If you lost so much money since you called someone abroad.

“What the fuck does that mean?!” you asked angrily.

“I’m busy- I can’t attend the wedding.”

“Busy my ass, fuck you. This is my best friend’s wedding, the least you could do is to come to the wedding and stay next to your fucking girlfriend.” You were so angry, you didn’t care about anything.

Mark didn’t want to listen to your private conversation- and he had to jerk off- but after hearing the word girlfriend, he stopped in his tracks and listened.

“I have so much work and it’s just a wedding- I’ll make it up to you.” Minho said but you were distracted by the voices and music. “A-Are you at the club? You promised you’d never do that again?!”

“I’m with some colleagues-“ he lied.

“It’s fine. I don’t have time for this right now.” You hung up without listening to him any further. You were exhausted, so fucking exhausted. You turned to your left and saw Mark watching you. “Who was that?” he asked.

“None of your business.” You were cold to him again. Mark was about to say something, but you left without giving him the chance.

The only thing on your mind right now was Mark’s lips on your body. You took a hot shower and changed into a pretty sundress, perfect for the hot weather.

Mark was under the shower, after he jerked off, you still didn’t leave his mind. All he could think about was you and the person to whom you were talking.

After an hour, Aera told you to get ready- you were all going out for dinner. You all got ready and left the house. You were in the backseat with Mark again, not exchanging a word with the three, you were in your own world.

When you felt Mark’s hand on your thigh you turned your head to him. “Huh?”

“Burgers? What do you say?” he asked softly and pulled his hand back. “Sure.” You just wanted to drink, you didn’t care about food.

Jaehyun parked next to a restaurant and when you entered, you were all shocked. It was a beautiful restaurant with a terrace and a pretty view. Aera was next to you, Jaehyun across from her and Mark right across from you.

It felt like back then when you were going on actual double dates. “I think I have a déjà vu?” Jaehyun laughed awkwardly. “Ouch!” Mark yelped. “Sorry Mark, I wanted to kick Jaehyun.” Aera said. “Why would you want to kick me?” he asked his girlfriend. “Babe, shut up.” It was so awkward.

Mark looked at you, he knew exactly what Jaehyun was talking about. “Do you guys remember when the waiter pushed Jaehyun’s head into the cake?” Mark laughed at the memory the four of your shared. You didn’t say anything, but the others laughed. “Oh my god that was hilarious. He tasted so delicious.” Aera winked at him. “Okay, well, uhm, I wasn’t talking about that.” Mark scratched the back of his head awkwardly.

“My baby likes it when her fiancée tastes like strawberries.” Jaehyun smirked at Aera.

“This is absolutely not something we want to hear, Jesus.” Mark said disgusted.

After finishing dinner, you walked on the beach together. “Hey, babe, what’s on your mind?” Aera pulled you back to talk to you. She knew something was up.

“I just- Minho isn’t coming and I’m not sad about it. Why am I not sad about it?” you asked her. “Thanks god- I mean, I think your brain started working finally. Do you even see a future with him?” she asked you. “No, I don’t b-but I’ll never have future with anyone- I guess I’m just not worth-“

“If you dare to finish that sentence, I’ll push you into the water.” Aera threatened you. “Listen, I know when you are happy, and there was not a single time you were happy in that relationship, not like you were with that dumbass-“ she pointed at Mark, “The last time I saw you truly happy was with him, and I’m not saying go get Mark, I’m saying that Minho isn’t worth it. You are too good for him and there’s someone who loves you so much and who deserved your love and attention. Not that looser.”

And your eyes never left Mark’s back.

Something inside you switched, you don’t need a man next to you to be happy, well definitely not a man like Minho- he wasn’t even a man. After all the tears and fights you finally opened your eyes, and you knew that you deserve better.

“Fuck this shit I’m breaking up with that piece of shit.” And you really did. Aera held your hand as you dialed his number and called him.

“Y/n? It’s fucking 4 am.” Minho said. “Babe-“ you heard in the background, but you didn’t fucking care.

“You know what, I don’t even fucking care. Do whatever you want- thanks god you aren’t coming. I don’t have to make memories with an asshole like you. Go back to your slut. I’ll get my stuff when I’m back. I’m done with you” And you hung up.

You felt better than ever before.

You didn’t feel like crying- you were happy, you wanted to make great memories with your best friend and after so many years, you finally broke up with Minho. You felt free and when you looked to your left, to the stunning view you had, you just smiled.

“I’m so proud of you. You know, there are a couple single friends of Jaehyun coming to the wedding, maybe you’ll get some dick.” She wiggled her eyebrows. “Jaehyun’s friends? Are we really sure about that?” you joked, looking at Mark again.

“You are right.”

Meanwhile, Mark and Jaehyun were talking about you.

“Dude, she was talking about someone not attending the wedding and like, she said girlfriend or something, I don’t know- is she… is Y/n dating someone?” Mark asked, he was scared of the answer. He had hope to get you back, but when you were someone else’s, he couldn’t do anything.

“Yeah, Minho. Such a piece of shit, like, he’s worse than you-“

“Hey!”

“Sorry, but like, what you did was an asshole move but he’s like constantly an asshole, I think that’s worse than being a dick just once. He cheats and yells and is so fucking disrespectful, if it weren’t for Y/n I’d kill him and I can’t believe that he’s coming to my wedding, god.”

Mark was shocked, you’re really dating someone like him?

“Why isn’t she leaving him?” he asked Jaehyun. “I don’t really know, they started dating right after you left, maybe she tried to move on with him.”

Mark knew he had hurt you really bad, but you tried to move on that soon? Why did you touch him like that when you have a boyfriend? Why did you let him kiss your neck and be so close?

“Let’s go to the club!” you yelled happily, and Mark turned to you. “Club?” he asked.

“Yes, the fucking club, I want to get wasted!” you sang happily.

And the next stop was a club. After a couple shots (Jaehyun didn’t drink anything except for water, he’s the driver), you and Aera danced on the dancefloor happily together. You felt so alive and excited, you jumped around and Mark couldn’t keep his eyes away from you.

The way your dress slightly rose and exposed your beautiful legs. He hoped nobody else was looking at you like he did.

“You’re staring.” Jaehyun said.

“Am not.”

“You’re so fucking obvious, it physically hurts me to see you like this.” Jaehyun patted Mark’s back.

“Do you think she still hates me?” Mark asked. “Well, I would.”

“That’s not helpful.” Mark gulped down another shot. “Alright, I’m sorry. She’s like, pissed, but I don’t think she hates you.”

“Baby! Dance with me!” Aera pulled Jaehyun to the dance floor and he didn’t resist. He had to show everyone that Aera was his girl, his fiancée. Dancing slowly turned into a make out session and not even five minutes later, they left the dancefloor and entered the restroom.

After dancing for so long, you returned back to your table. “What are you doing here all alone?” you asked Mark.

“Drinking.” He drank shot after shot. “Share with me.” You sat down next to him, really close. Your thighs touching and his gaze on your legs made you smirk.

“Let’s play a game. We’ll ask questions and If we don’t want to answer, we take a shot. Okay?”

You nodded, that could get really interesting. You ordered a whole vodka bottle and started the game.

“Ladies first.”

“What a gentleman. Well, okay, I got a question. Did you get to cum today?” you asked boldly. “I did.” He smirked at you.

“Okay, uhm, were you turned on?”

You took a shot, yes you were so turned on, but you wouldn’t say that out loud.

Mark looked you in the eyes, “Do I look hot?”

“So fucking hot.” Mark said without thinking.

“Do you want me to touch you?” he asked now, you took a shot, which was a pretty obvious answer to him. He put his hand on your thigh. He squeezed slightly. “I never said yes.” You said. “You also never said no. Do you want me to stop touching you?”

“It’s not your turn.” Which meant that you didn’t want him to stop touching you.

After a couple shots, Mark finally asked you the question he was dying to ask.

“Did you miss me?” his face was serious, and he looked you the deep in the eyes. Whenever Mark asked you a question to which you couldn’t say no, you took a shot, just like you did at this question. Mark knew that you had missed him.

“I missed you. So much.” He came closer, nose brushing yours. Mark pressed his lips on the corner of your lips. He slightly pulled back and you looked at you, you weren’t stopping him, so he continued.

The next kiss landed on the tip of your nose and then on the other corner of your lips. Mark squeezed your thigh with a little bit more pressure as he finally placed his lips on yours. Mark kissed you slowly and without realizing it, you kissed him back. You shut your eyes and let him kiss you. He kissed you with so much passion, so much longing and you cupped his cheeks to pull him closer.

His right hand held you by your waist and squeezed it, you gasped, and he put his hot muscle in your mouth. His tongue was playing with yours, he sucked on your lower lip and you could feel yourself getting wetter with every touch and every kiss. You forgot that you were in public, everyone could watch your heavy make-out session with Mark.

“M-Mark-“ you moaned.

“Mhmm…” he didn’t want to stop-

“Mark- there are people around -fuck- us-“ when he started kissing your neck, you lost it.

“Don’t care.” And he kept kissing your skin. “I can’t get enough of you.” He smirked as he left a mark on your skin.

You opened your eyes and saw Jaehyun and Aera coming. You pushed Mark away and acted like you didn’t just have the best kiss of your life.

“We’re done,” Aera giggled, “We should go back, it’s late and we should get sober until tomorrow night. I want to remember my bachelorette party.”

You just nodded, grabbed your purse, and left the club with the others coming after you.

The car ride was awkward. Mark wanted to hold your hand, but you tried to leave as much space as possible between you. Your head was spinning, you wanted him but the voice in your head told you to back off.

Mark was silent the whole ride back and after you left, he could finally breath again.

“The others are coming tomorrow, I trust my best man to take care of them.” Jaehyun and Mark talked on the way back to the house and you tried to ignore the fact that Mark was really walking right next to you.

“Of course, dude. You’re bachelor party is going to be crazy, by the way.” Mark planed something big for Jaehyun.

“No strippers.” Jaehyun warned.

“No strippers for you.” Mark teased even though he was suddenly not interested in seeing women, except for you. You were on his mind and you just didn’t want to leave.

That kind of hurt you.

You accidently locked eyes with Mark, and he wanted to punch himself. “I- I mean I don’t want them either- you know? I swear I didn’t book any strippers.” Mark tried to save himself, but you just rolled your eyes.

“We’re going to have strippers though, Aera.”

“What? Aera, babe, I thought we said no strippers.” Jaehyun pouted.

“I told her! Y/n No strippers!” Aera panicked.

“No strippers for you.” You mocked Mark and he glared at you.

“No strippers and that’s final.” Jaehyun said strictly like a dad, pointing his finger at me.

“I was just joking- don’t worry. No strippers. Promise.”

You could break my heart in two But when it heals, it beats for you I know it's forward but it's true

The next day was hectic. Family members and friends finally arrived and you, as the maid of honor, tried your best to be there for them and for Aera. Mark on the other hand just hung out with Jaehyun. The wedding is tomorrow and the bachelor parties are tonight. Aera was a little stressed, even with your help. She was talking with the catering company and you could see how exhausted she was.

“Aera, go take a long relaxing bath, I got this. I have your list and all of the information. Let me manage this, you need to relax and enjoy this. I don’t want you to stress.” You told her.

“You’re right, I trust you with this.”

You did everything you had to do. You were done with the check list and when you were about to go to your room to take a quick nap, a voice interrupted you.

“So, Y/n. Did you get hotter? Or is it just the weather in Greece?”

You turned around and faced Johnny Suh. A close friend of Jaehyun and he was always flirting with you, even when you dated Mark, but it was harmless. He was always nice and kind and you flirted back, just for fun of course and well, you liked making Mark jealous.

“Oh look at you! Long time no see.” You hugged him and the other boys trailing after him. Mark leading the boys and watching you and Johnny flirt right in front of him.

You hugged the others, and they didn’t know how to act, since Mark was glaring at them, which you didn’t notice.

“So Y/n, do you need any help?”  Johnny said, winking at you.

“I’m actually done with everything, I was about to take a nap.”

“A nap? Come on, we’re in Greece. Let’s go to the beach.” Johnny suggested and everyone agreed with him, even Mark.

You thought about it for a second. Going to beach sound perfect, who knows If you ever come to Greece again.

“Alright, I’ll go get my stuff and change.”

You changed to your bikini and a sundress. You packed your back, a couple towels, sunscreen, and your sunglasses. The boys were already waiting for you. Jungwoo, Mark, Johnny and Yuta were the only ones who wanted to go to the beach. Jaehyun was napping and the others wanted to go to the city.

You were sitting between Jungwoo and Mark. Johnny was driving and Yuta took the passenger seat. You pressed your legs together, you didn’t want to touch Mark’s legs. After everything that happened last night, you were scared and you didn’t know what to do. Mark wasn’t doing any better. It was so awkward and if he could, he would kiss you again.

Not even 15 minutes later, you arrived at the beach and it was such a beautiful view.

“Wow, it’s so beautiful.” You said with wide eyes.

“Not as beautiful as you are.” Johnny flirted and you softly hit him on the shoulder, “Shut up.”

Mark tried to ignore Johnny’s flirty behavior, but it was so hard, even back when you and Mark were still dating, he hated it whenever Johnny flirted like that with you. He didn’t even know why, he shouldn’t have cared, he was only dating you for the money, right? But now it was different. Now he cared even more, he wanted you and it drove him crazy that you ignored him all day.

When you settled down right in front of the beach, Yuta and Jungwoo dropped everything and ran straight into the water.

“They didn’t put any sunscreen on.” Johnny mumbled, “Can you help me put some on Y/n?” he asked you.

“Sure.”

Once again, Mark wanted to punch his friend.

The way you put sunscreen on Johnny’s back was quick, you wanted to annoy Mark, you didn’t want him to think that you were really interested in Johnny. Johnny thanked you and asked you if you need help too and when you nodded, Mark remembered when he put sunscreen on your back yesterday.

Mark smirked at the memory, you’re so beautiful and your moans were so pretty and-

Mark’s thoughts were interrupted by you.

“Johnny, you are so strong, it feels so good.”

How could you say that, Mark thought.

“Y/n are you still with that piece of shit?” Johnny asked you as he massaged your back. “No I broke up with him.”

“So you’re single right?”

“Fuck- Yes, single.” You closed your eyes and enjoyed the massage you were getting.

“Hyung, I think Yuta is calling your name.” Mark interrupted.

“I can’t hear anything?” you mumbled.

“For real, he called your name just a second ago, maybe you should go look after him.”

Johnny’s plan worked. Johnny could hear the jealousy in Mark’s voice. Johnny wasn’t really interested in you, yeah you were pretty and you have a great personality, but you were still Mark’s ex-girlfriend and Johnny knew that Mark still liked you, even though he never admitted that.

“Alright, maybe Mark can continue?” Johnny asked you.

“I don’t know… Mark’s not as strong as you are.” You teased.

“I am strong, did you forget about yesterday-“

“Okayyyy.” Johnny laughed awkwardly and left you two.

Mark placed his hands on your back, he softly massaged you. You were laying on your stomach and Mark slowly untangled your bikini straps.

“How is this?” he asked you as he put a little pressure on your back.

“G-Good, so good.”

“You like making me jealous huh?” his hand travelled down but he stopped right before your butt.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You said innocently even though you knew exactly what he was talking about.

“Oh baby, you do. You know what I’m talking about,” he put a little bit of pressure on your neck, “I really want to spank you for behaving like a brat.”

“Do it.”

“Don’t play with me.” Mark bend forward and pressed his lips on your bare shoulder. He left wet kisses on your skin and you closed your eyes and let him.

You missed him. You missed Mark so much. You wanted him and he wanted you, but there was still something holding you back.

You got interrupted by the ringing of your phone.

Mark pulled back and when you tried to stand up to reach for your phone, you forgot that your bikini was loose.

“Oh shit-“ you laid back and Mark giggled. He tied your straps back together and you finally answered your phone.

“Hi Aera, yeah we’re at the beach. Everything is done, don’t worry I took care of everything. Yeah be ready at 9 I’m not telling you what I’ve planned. The dress code is red and short. No Jaehyun won’t get jealous because he won’t get to see you until the wedding. Oh, I’m- I’m with Mark right now- would you shut up we’re not-“ you glanced at Mark who was already looking at you, “I’m hanging up now.”

Aera teased you with Mark, she asked you why you were alone with him and if you were doing dirty things with him.

“I’m going to the boys, are you coming?” you asked him softly.

Mark just nodded and trailed after you.

I wanna hold you when I'm not supposed to When I'm lying close to someone else You're stuck in my head and I can't get you out of it If I could do it all again I know I'd go back to you I know I'd go back to you

After your fun beach day, you got ready for the bachelorette party. Aera’s three other friends were also coming and knew about your plan. You booked a limousine and a VIP place in a club, it wasn’t much, but Aera liked it the traditional way.

After changing to a short red dress with thin straps, you put on makeup and you were ready to go. The others were also ready and Aera tried to hide herself.

“Jaehyun can’t see me like this- he’d rip this dress off me, then he would fuck me and then he would burn it.”

“Calm down, Johnny told me that they already left.” You assured her.

“Fine. Fuck I look so hot.” Aera opened her front camera once again and looked at herself.

“Yes you do and now let’s get wasted!!” one of her other friends said.

Driving in a limousine was fun, Aera popped the champagne bottle carefully and after driving around the city for 3 hours and having fun in the limousine, you arrived at the club.

You entered the VIP lounge and the night started perfectly. Everyone was having fun, dancing, and drinking.

Aera secretly texted Jaehyun that she missed him and loved him. She also left for about five minutes just to talk to him in the restroom.

“Where the hell were you?” you asked her.

“I was talking to Jaehyun I’m sorry I’ll turn my phone off now.”

And she did, of course after she texted Jaehyun that she was turning her phone off, she didn’t want him to worry and also have fun.

After that, Aera drank and danced like there was no tomorrow.

You were also having the time of your life, it’s been so long since you danced freely in a club. No, it’s been so long since you had fun at all. When you were with Minho, you never had any fun. It was always about him, his pleasure, his feelings, everything about him. All you could think about was Mark when you were with Minho. No matter how much Mark hurt you, when he was your boyfriend, he was always perfect. He valued you more than Minho ever did. You shouldn’t be thinking about Mark when you were lying next to someone else, but you couldn’t help it.

“Y/n?”

You turned around and your eyes met Mark’s.

“M-Mark? Are you real? Or am I dreaming?” you giggled, you were tipsy.

“I’m real,” he stroked your cheek, “This island is so small, we ended up at the same club.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck and he put his hands on your waist. “I was thinking about you the whole day.” you admitted, you were drunk and drunk you always said the truth.

“Me too. Couldn’t get you out of my head.”

“Are you drunk?” you asked.

“No, but I’m still telling you the truth. I missed you.”

“I miss-“

“Y/n! Jaehyun is here and he can’t see Aera, it’s almost midnight! It’s bad luck to see the bride before the wedding!” Aera’s friend giggled, “and she’s so fucking drunk and I’m so drunk too,” she giggled again.

You sobered up quickly, thanks god you didn’t drink much, there has to be someone sober enough to take care of everyone and you could never forgive yourself if anything happens before the wedding.

“I’ll take her back to the hotel, you guys can stay and have more fun.” You told her and she thanked you and told you to call if anything happens.

Mark followed you, he helped you carry Aera to the taxi.

“I’ll come with you.” Mark said.

“Don’t worry about us. I can take care of us, go have fun with the boys.” You smiled softly.

“No I want to be with you- I mean, I was bored anyway, and tomorrow is the big day, I should have some… sleep.” He scratched the back of his head nervously.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

When you arrived at the hotel, Mark helped you carry Aera to your room. She was going to stay with you for tonight, Jaehyun shouldn’t see her before the wedding.

“Sleep tight, tomorrow is going to be your big day.” you said as you tugged her in.

You turned to Mark with a small smile on your face, “Thank you. For helping me with her.”

“Of course. Uhm, do you, only if you want to of course, do you want to drink something with me? In m-my room if that’s okay for you. I mean it’s still early and I’m not really sleepy, you know.” Mark rambled.

“Yeah, sure.” You said shyly.

Mark opened the door and you entered his room. His room was clean and had a perfect view. Even at night, the view was beautiful. The lights in the dark, the moon shining brightly, it looked mesmerizing.

You stood in front of his window and Mark watched you with a smile on his lips to you, the view was everything but to Mark, you were everything. You looked absolutely beautiful to him.

Mark took a couple steps and was now right behind you. He wrapped his arms around you and put his head on your shoulder. You intertwined your fingers with his and pulled him closer to you.

“It’s beautiful.”

“You are beautiful.” He whispered softly against your ear.

You turned around, his arms still around you and his face so close to yours.

“I couldn’t tell you this in the club so I’m going to say it now,” you whispered against his lips, “I missed you too, Mark. I missed you so much.”

And without thinking twice, you both leaned in and kissed.

You closed your eyes immediately and you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him even closer, he did the same, he pulled you closer by your waist and pressed you against the window.

He kissed you gently and slowly, your heart pounded against your chest and Mark’s heart was racing, too. As if time stopped right there, as if they were never apart. Mark’s right hand was on your jaw, softly pushing your head up to get better access to your mouth, you let out a soft moan, Mark used the opportunity to meet your tongue.

The kiss was perfect, slow but still so passionate.

Mark pulled back, you were breathing heavily and heat rose from your stomach to your chest, a feeling you couldn’t really describe.

He left wet kisses on your cheek, down to your jaw and then your neck. You tilt your head back, Mark sucked on your soft skin as your hands tangled in his hair, lightly pulling.

You could feel yourself getting wetter and wetter, you just wanted to take off this dress and let Mark fuck you.

“D-Do you want this?” he asked you.

“Yes-“ you whimpered as he sucked on your sensitive spot.

Mark pulled you to his bed, with you on top of him straddling his lap. Your lips connected again, you tried to unbutton his shirt as he grabbed your butt softly and squeezed it.

You almost ripped his shirt, but you didn’t care.

It was your turn to press your lips on his neck.

Mark closed his eyes, the way his crotch met you when you pressed yourself against him, the way your lips kissed his soft skin, leaving pretty marks on Mark.

Mark couldn’t take it anymore. His pants were so tight, it almost hurt. He wanted to feel you, he needed to feel you. Mark changed positions, he was on top of you now.

“Take this off- please, fuck, take this off now.” He looked for the zipper of your dress and when he finally found it, he wanted to cry.

He took off your dress, and fuck, he was going crazy. You weren’t wearing a bra, only your black panties.

“Fuck, you’re so perfect.”

The way Mark looked at you made you feel so beautiful. You weren’t shy like you used to be, you felt good and you wanted him so bad.

You pulled him up for a short kiss.

Mark took off his pants as fast as he could and he was painfully hard. He couldn’t wait to be inside of you. His lips were on your nipple, he sucked on your breast and his hand was playing with the other one. After sucking on your one nipple, his attention was on the other one. “Mark- fuck, it feels so good. Please don’t stop.” You moaned.

You were so wet and feeling Mark’s cock against your thigh turned you so on.

While playing with your nipples, his one hand found your pussy. He stroked it over your panties, but then his hand travelled in your panties and he started playing with your wet pussy.

“Baby you are so wet. All for me?”

“Yes, yes. So wet for you, Mark.” You closed your eyes tightly. It felt so good to feel his hands on you again.

Even thought Mark wanted to taste you, he couldn’t take it anymore, he needed to be in you now.

“You can take me, right baby? I need to fuck you.”

“Please fuck me Mark.” You also couldn’t take it anymore, you needed to cum.

Mark took off his boxers and hovered above you. “F-Fuck I don’t have a condom.”

“You don’t have a condom? Why?” you asked him.

“Well, I didn’t think that I was going to fuck you here.”

“What if you’d met someone else here?” you asked curiously.

“I’m not interested in someone else. I want you- I always wanted you.” He admitted shyly.

You looked each other in the eyes for a couple seconds, he leaned in and pecked your lips. He pulled back and looked at you again.

“You can fuck me without a condom. I’m on the pill and I haven’t had sex in months,” You can’t even remember the last time Minho fucked you. “And I never fucked without a condom after I had sex with you.”

“Me too. I mean after… after you I haven’t fucked raw.”

“Okay.” You said softly.

“Okay.” He leaned in and pressed his lips on yours.

While kissing you, he slowly pushed his cock in you. You grabbed his biceps tightly, he stretched you, you haven’t been fucked in so long, you got even tighter.

Mark pulled back and looked at you. “You feel so good around me. So, so fucking good. I missed you so much.” With that, Mark pushed his entire length inside of you.

“Fuck-“

He was fucking into you, slowly but hard. You could feel his entire length and he always hit your sweet spot. “Right there- Mark, fuck.”

“I-I want to ride you. Mark, fuck.” You moaned.

Mark turned you, you were now on top of him.

You bounced on his cock up and down, his hands on your waist pushed you down and he thrusted his hips to fuck into you. Your hands were on his shoulder, holding him. Even though you wanted to ride him, he was fucking you hard and good.

“M-Mark I’m gonna cum. Fuck Fuck Mark-“

And then your climax hit you. You collapsed on top of him and he still fucked into you. “Fuck feel so good. Y-you feel so good.” Mark was so close and the way he kept fucking you overstimulated you. You clenched one last time and Mark came inside of you, painting you walls white. He moaned your name as he came and you could feel him twitching inside of you.

Mark wrapped his arms around you and pressed you against his chest. Mark pulled his cock out of you. You could hear his heart beating against his chest.

The night was perfect, after cleaning you up, you were wrapped in his arms once again. You talked about everything that night. Everything you had missed when you were apart.

“Can I ask you something?” he said.

“Sure.”

“Did you ever love him? Minho or whatever his name was.” Mark was jealous, even though you were in his arms.

“No, I don’t think that I’ve ever loved anyone, except for you. I always loved you.”

Mark smiled and kissed your temple.

“Why were you with him? Why didn’t you break up with him? Jaehyun told me that he’s an asshole.”

“After- after you broke up with me, I was… lost. I didn’t know what to do. I felt worthless and just- useless. He made me feel- wanted? I don’t know. I needed someone to forget you and he didn’t care. He never cared about me but he made me believe that he loved me. And that’s all I wanted. I just wanted to be loved.” You whispered the last part. A tear escaped your eye and you were quick enough to wipe it away. But Mark still noticed.

Mark felt bad. He never wanted you to feel this way. You were a dream. You were so perfect and it was his fault that you felt worthless. If anyone was useless, it was Mark.

“It’s my fault a-and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that you felt that way, but it’s not true. You are so much more. You are perfect in every possible way. You are more than anyone could ask for. I’ll never forgive myself that I made you feel this way.” Mark teared up and pulled you even closer.

“C-Can I ask you something?” you asked this time.

“Y-Yes.”

“What did you do with the money?” you were always curious about that.          

Mark gulped hard, the memory pained him. “I gave it back.”

“What?”

“I couldn’t take money from a stupid bet, a bet that hurt you. I wasn’t proud of what I did. I wanted to forget that it happened, that I did that to you. I wanted to erase that from my memory. But I couldn’t erase you.”

“Why?”

“Because I love you. I loved you back then and I love you now. I never stopped loving you but I was too scared to reach out to you. I thought you hated me and it took me long to realize how much I love you.”

You looked up to him, you didn’t want to cry but your eyes were teary. “You love me?”

“Yes, I love you. I love you so much. There was not a single day without missing you, not a single day without regret eating me alive.”

“S-So you still love?”

“Yes. I love you.” He looked you deep in the eyes.

“I love you too.”

Mark smiled widely. Oh, how he missed hearing that you loved him.

“I’m sorry for everything.”

“It’s okay.” You pecked his lips but that wasn’t enough for Mark. He climbed on top of you and kissed you passionately.

His hand was on your naked thigh, stroking it softly. You were wet and when Mark put his hand on your wet pussy, you moaned.

Mark circled your clit and his tongue played with yours. It felt so good. He slowly put two fingers inside of your cunt and thrusted them in and out. You clenched around his fingers and you could feel your climax coming. Mark added a third finger.

His lips were back on your skin. Mark softly kissed your boobs and sucked on your sensitive nipples.

“Are you going to be a good girl and cum?” he asked you between his kisses.

“Yes- I’m so close.”

“Look at me.” His face was close to yours again, and when you looked at him, at his dark doe eyes, you came.

After you calmed down, you glanced at the clock in the room.

“Shit, Mark. It’s almost six in the morning. We need to sleep.”

You talked the whole night and after two orgasms and cuddling, you didn’t notice that it was already this late.

“But I’m hard.” He pouted.

“Do you want me to suck you off?”

“Yes, please baby, please suck me off.” He begged.

You were on the edge of the bed, your face right in front of his hard cock.

You slowly licked from the bottom to his tip. You pumped his cock in your hand a couple times before you put it inside of your mouth. After pumping him, you licked the slit on his tip.

“Babe- don’t tease me.” He whimpered.

“What do you want me to do?”

“Anything- but just please, do something.”

You put his entire length inside of your mouth, bobbing your head up and down and pumping the part of his dick you couldn’t put inside of your mouth.

You stopped bobbing you head and stared licked his tip again. “Babe- please. Please make me cum.”

Mark was going crazy. He needed to cum, his cock was so sensitive now, he twitched every time you licked or touched him.

“Okay, baby. I teased you enough, I’ll make you cum. You want to cum right?” you kissed his cock and he nodded. “Please. I want to cum on your face.”

You sucked his dick properly this time, he was so sensitive and so close, not even ten seconds later, he came on your face, just like he wanted to.

“Fuck, fuck fuck. That was so fucking good, babe, fuck.” Mark was breathing heavily, the intense orgasm tired him. You cleaned you face, fortunately he only came on your face and inside of your mouth.

You crawled back to him and kissed his lips. “Thank you.” He thanked you. “I love sucking your dick.”

“No, well yeah thank you for that too but I’m thankful for everything. Thank you for forgiving me.”

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

And you fell asleep in his arms.

I'd go back to you I'd go back to you What was there, wasn't sure But I'd go back to you I know I'd go back to you

Not even three hours later, your alarm clock woke you and Mark up.

“I don’t want to leave you.” You mumbled.

“I don’t want you to leave either. Stay a little longer.” He kissed your shoulder.

“I can’t I have to wake up Aera. It’s her big day, it needs to be perfect.”

“Everything you do is perfect.” Mark flirted.

“Shut up, I’ll see you later okay? Thank you for last night.”

“I love you.” He leaned down and kissed you. After kissing for two minutes to pulled back again. “I have to go.”

“Just five more minutes.”

Almost thirty minutes later, you tiptoed to your bedroom. Aera was wide awake playing with her phone when she saw you.

“Where the fuck were you and why are- oh my god.” Aera understood immediately. “You bitch fucked Mark didn’t you.”

“Yes, and now shut up and get ready for your wedding day!”

“I know I know, but like, I’m happy if you are happy. Are you happy?” she asked you worriedly.

“Yes. I’ve never been happier I think.” You smiled. You were really happy and so in love with Mark.

“Then I’m happy.”

Hours later, you found yourself in your maid of honor dress, looking absolutely gorgeous. Mark was helping you with everything. With the catering company, the guests and everything else that needed to be taken care of.

Mark stole kisses from you here and there and now he pulled you back to his bedroom and kissed you intensely.

“You look so stunning- I can’t stop staring at you. I love you, pretty girl.” He kissed you again.

“M-Mark fuck, you look so hot and I really want to fuck you, b-but, fuck we can’t.” you closed your eyes and let him kiss your neck.

“Okay, okay. I’m trying to stay calm, but fuck, you look so good I want to rip that dress off.”

“We’ll have the whole night. Let’s go back, people are going to get suspicious.”

When you went back, you met Johnny and Yuta on your way.

“Where are you two coming from?” Yuta asked.

“My bedroom- ouch.” You kicked Mark’s leg.

“What were you doing in your bedroom?” Johnny asked amused. “Do you want me to show you?” Mark asked with a smirk.

“Mark? What the f-“ and then Mark pulled you in and kissed you fully on the lips.

He could finally show Johnny that you belonged to him, that you always belonged to him.

“Well I guess we saw that coming.” Yuta laughed with Johnny. The two left and you were still kissing.

“Ew! He is eating her Mommy!” you heard a little girl scream.

You pulled away immediately and apologized.

Mark laughed his ass off as he walked you to Aera’s dressing room. “I’m going to eat you tonight. But not your mouth. I’m going to eat your cunt.”

“I can’t wait. I’ll see you at the ceremony alright? I need to stay with Aera now.”

“Okay baby.” He kissed you goodbye.

The wedding ceremony ended so quickly, next thing you knew you were in Mark’s arms slow dancing. Aera and Jaehyun’s wedding was truly beautiful. Everything went smoothly and you were finally resting in the arms of your lover.

Aera and Jaehyun were also slow dancing and smiling happily. Not only because it was the most important night of their lives- also because their best friends were finally happy together.

“Y/n?” Mark said your name softly.

“Mhm?” you hummed with closed eyes.

“I’m really sorry that I put you trough all of that, and I’m sorry that it took me so long to realize my real feelings for you. You’re the most wonderful person I’ve ever met in my entire life and I’m going to do everything I can to keep you in my arms. I don’t want to see sad ever again. I’ll love you until my last breath.”

You promised yourself you weren’t going to cry that night, but a couple tears still escaped.

“You know, I was hurt but I healed and I’m more than ready to do this with you again. It was you. My heart always longed for you, and I don’t think that there could be anyone I would love as much as I love you. You could break my heart thousand times, I would go back to you over and over again.” You looked up to him, he could see the love you felt for him in your eyes.

“I love you.”

“I love you.” And with that, Mark pressed his lips on yours and kissed you with so much love and adoration.

I'll go back to you I'll go back to you I know I'd go back to you I'll go back to you I'll go back to you I know I'd go back to you

[thestalkerbunny]

TSB Plays Legends Arceus Part 23

Wow. Okay That’s a LIGHTENING ROD of a TREE. Wow. I think if I just stand under this tree, I’ll be safe in the whole fight. Maybe. I forget my lightening safety protocol. I don’t think any of my stuff is metal...

Oh Apricorns.

OH. Voltorb.

Aww Are ya’ll made of WOOD? That’s so cute. Ya’ll are just some LITTOL GUYS I love it, you’re so cute and round.

oh.

HE.

AHHHHHHHHHHHH.

sHIT SHIT SHIT SHTI SHIT SHIT WAIT DONT THESE THINGS EXPLODE??

AHH FUCKET FUCKET FUCKET TAKE THE DAMN BEANS ALREADY DONT TOUCH ME PLEASE.

CHRIST ON A CANDLE STICK

Oohhhh God that was terrifying, I hated everything about that FIGHT.

AH. You’re.....you’re much smaller up close. ...Hahh......

Oh don’t worry guys, I’m fine, it didn’t kill me, I-oh you’re pissed I fixed him.

Adaman looks a little too happy to see you on your knees, Melli. Excuse the joke I couldn’t resist. But It needed be made cause I don’t think you can chase me if you’re too busy in dispair.

Guys I smell burning, can we like....maybe walk home and have this convo. I feel sick and terrified.

Melli please, calm down. God’s not gonna get MAD AT YOU for THIS trust me. The gods of this realm are relatively rather lazy if anything.

Oh look, my train’s here. Ingo, can you just carry me BACK down the mountain I’m kinda fucked rn.

Doesn’t he LIVE on this mountainside too, Melli? You’re literally asking what your next door neighbor is doing.....5 feet from his backyard.

OH SHIT. EXCITING THINGS? GOOD MEMORY THINGS......Please don’t remember I’m not supposed to bring my houndoom on the subway, Domino loves the subway.

*SCREAM* TELL US YOU UNCLE OF A MAN.

Oh absolutely; I’ve spent nearly 20 years as a trainer. I’ve been here since FIRE RED CAME OUT. I’ve attended pokemon schools around the GLOBE, from Kanto to Galar and everywhere inbetween.

It honestly brought people together, it’s the one thing all the countries could agree on in post 1949 after the Second Great War. Well. That and Soccer.

THE MAN SPEAKS TRUTH. The revolutionary symbiosis between man and pokemon actually led to free health care, the end of a housing crisis, revolutions in medical advances and allowed 10 year olds travel independantly on their own with little fear of attack.

Oh it was great. I had no student loans, Public transport was great, part time jobs were sustainable to live on and my apartment was BITCHIN’.

Dare to dream it, Adaman, it’s a great future. Sure some weird ecoterroists here and there and some radicals, but nothing bad enough that a few scrappy folk with hard opinions couldn’t clean up real quick.

Oh what, that you have two hands, one for Ingo and one for Adaman? Because that’s not a revolutionary thought.

I.....Well you’re not WRONG.

I reiterate. Gods are relatively indifferent, but you know what, whatever makes you the happiest, Melli.

Oh GOD, words of wisdom from Adaman.

[johnsamericano]

Can do a fic about dilf doyoung is your Father's friend but u have a secret relationship with him them one day he got you preggo so u moved in with him plsssss also put a lot of smut shshshhshsh pls I hope you read this.

Hi there! My requests are currently closed but I can never resist writing dilf!Doyoung so you’re lucky. There's not THAT much smut in this because I wanted to make it as realistic as possible. Hope you like it!

warnings: dirty talking, sex, language, use of the name daddy, spanking, unexpected pregnancy, age gap.

“What’s the meaning of this invitation, Mr. Kim?” You inquired, walking past the front door with a gym bag hanging from your shoulder. “It's not every day you invite me to a private swimming party.”

“Very funny.” He welcomed you with a hug, his warm, naked chest pressed against your covered one. “Jeno’s out with his friends. He won't come back until tomorrow.”

“Aw, but where's the fun in that? I wanted to be with him.” That response earned you a slap in the ass, hard enough to serve as a warning not to keep testing his patience.

“Get changed. I'll wait for you in the hot tub.”

You locked yourself in the nearest bathroom, quickly yanking off your clothes to replace them with a baby blue bikini. You knew how much he loved the matching set, not as much as taking it off you, of course.

Wanting to make him wait for a while longer, you neatly folded your clothes and placed them over your sleeping wear inside the bag you'd brought with you.

“Took you long enough.” He was sitting inside the water, his arms spread wide as he gave you a less than amused look. “Come here.”

Despite how dominant he might look on the outside, he never managed to fool you. As soon as you were between his arms, your face was guaranteed to be covered with kisses from his soft lips.

“I missed you this past few weeks.” His wet thumb traced figures over your arm, avoiding looking into your eyes. “Why haven't you visited?”

Your fingers played with the small, grey hairs covering the nape of his neck.

“It's getting harder to hide it from Jeno, and I know if he ever found out, our friendship would be over. I don't wanna lose him.”

“He’ll find out, better sooner than later.” The look on your face must've given away your thoughts. “What? Did you think this was just something casual?”

“I mean...” His jaw dropped, arms falling into the water with a splash. “Look, you have to understand me. We started right after your wife left, I thought you were using me to forget her. And I didn't mind-”

“Using you?” Just a few millimeters and his eyebrows would be touching. “Have you always thought so low of me?”

“Doyoung...”

“I want a future with you, y/n. Not just an occasional fuck but an actual relationship, and if you don't feel the same about me, then we might as well end things here.” This was the first time you'd seen him mad, with his whole face red from anger and the warmth of the jacuzzi, he looked as if he were about to explode.

“Of course I do. But it's complicated.” The red shade tinting his cheeks and ears, slowly faded. “No one would accept our relationship, for starters.”

“I couldn't care less about other’s opinions.”

In less than a second, his lips crashed against yours, hard. But there was a hint of sweetness in his wild movements, the way his hands caressed your back while his tongue worked its way inside your mouth aggressively.

“Already so eager?” He asked as your heat rubbed itself against his clothed cock. “Not here.”

“What...?”

The muscles in his legs tensed as he stood up with you still between his arms. He was strong, for a man of his age, of course.

“I’m afraid that I've been fucking you the wrong way, which might have been the reason for you to have the wrong idea about us.” Leaving a trail of water drops behind you, you climbed up the stairs leading to the second floor, where his room was located. “Scratch that. No more fucking, from now on, I'm gonna make love to you.”

“Have you always been this cheesy?” Your feet touched the floor as he removed his hands from below your thighs, slightly pushing you until the back of your knees touched the mattress.

“Don’t make me change my mind and spank that pretty ass.”

“Rude.” You let yourself fall on the fresh comforter, dragging him down with you.

“Take your clothes off for me, won't you?” He busied himself pulling down his swimming trunks while you struggled with the knot keeping your bra in place. “Such a silly, little girl. Can't do anything without her daddy, can her?”

“Please.” Even though you hated being humiliated, your core didn't seem to bother. His degrading words only caused your essence to form an even larger patch on your bikini. “Doyoung...”

“Fine.” His cock was standing proudly, his tip dripping with small beads of precum. “On your knees and turn around.”

He worked through the knots as fast as his trembling fingers allowed him to. His mouth was aching to say the special words he'd been keeping to himself for a while now, but he didn't have enough courage yet.

“Ready.” The straps fell down your arms, tickling the skin as they slid.

You took the last piece of your suit off, finally allowing your body to be consumed by the humidity of the summer evening. Doyoung was quicker to enter you than usual. No teasing, just lovemaking as he’d promised earlier.

“You’re so warm.” His lips were attached to your collarbone, sucking to leave a mark big enough for everyone to see. “Your little cunt takes me so well. No one else could make me feel as good as you do.”

With his hips pistoning your hole, your fingers found their way to the nape of his neck, dancing over the tender skin. The way you were looking at each other, so intimate and full of affection, had the words he'd been wanting to say rushing out of his lips.

“I love you.” His movements faltered as if waiting for you to give him any type of answer.

“What’s with that scared face?” You giggled, every inch of your skin flushed with embarrassment and desire. “I love you too.” He loved how young you made him feel, like a silly teenager confessing to his crush only to find out his feelings were reciprocated.

His thrusts resumed, this time slower, deeper, making sure you felt every single ridge and vein of his cock. His length caressed your walls oh so deliciously, bringing you closer and closer to your high. Until someone had to ruin it.

“Dad, where are you?” In a rush, Doyoung pulled out, not even noticing how his seed spilled out of your hole. Fear had taken over the pleasure.

“Get in the bathroom, he probably just forgot something. Don't worry.”

As he'd said, Jeno was quick to leave. Not even ten minutes later, Doyoung was back in his room, announcing Jeno’s little getaway got extended.

“So that means, you can stay for a while longer. Only if you want of course.” The bathtub was filling with warm water and bubbles he'd added. “Or we can go on our own trip, whatever you want.” You felt at ease between his arms, his heartbeat lulling you to sleep.

Who would've thought you'd be losing your mind a few weeks later because of the same man that had given you so much peace before.

“How could you forget to wear protection?!”

“Don't treat me as if I were the only one responsible for this situation.” You hid your face between the warmth of your palms, supporting the side of your head against the window. “Look at me, baby.”

You shook your head, tears starting to slip between your fingers.

“I’m here for you, darling. Whatever you want to do, I'll fully support you.” His thumb traced the shape of the shell of your ear.

“I don't know what I want to do.”

“We still have time to help you figure things out, okay?” There was a certain sadness to his tone, almost as if his hopes were vanishing.

He didn't want to get rid of it, but being pregnant was a burden that you'd have to carry alone as much as he tried to help. It was your choice and only yours.

“I want to have it, but I don't even have a job or economical support. My parents would kill me if they found out. And Jeno, oh boy, he'd have a heart attack.”

“You have me, y/n. And even though I can't do anything about other people's reactions, I'll always be by your side.”

Doyoung wasn't lying. He walked you through every step, even assumed part of the responsibility when talking to your parents, who didn't react as badly as you'd foreseen.

“Just make sure you're making the right choice.” They'd said.

Jeno was the last person to find out.

“Oh, hey y/n. Were you waiting for me?” He dropped the sports bag right in front of de door.

“We have to tell you something.”

“We?” The look on his face was almost comical as if life had been sucked out of his handsome features.

“Yes, we.” Doyoung laced his fingers with yours, tightly locking your hands together.

His father explained the situation calmly, making sure to use the right words to avoid scaring him away. By the time he was done, Jeno was just staring at you with an emotionless face.

“Jeno?” Your heart dropped at the thought of losing your friend. “Say something, please.”

“You want me to say something?”

There was a small, dramatic pause to add some tension to his words. But the mood lightened as soon as his eyes became crescent moons.

“Bold of you to assume I wasn't aware of your little relationship.” He giggled. “It's okay, guys. You're both adults and I trust you know what you're doing.”

“What the hell is going on?” Your thoughts slipped out of your mouth.

“Thank you, Jeno.” Doyoung mouthed, squeezing your shoulder.

“Man, I always wanted a little brother.” He walked up to you, wrapping his arms around you and his father's neck.

“I rather have a girl this time.”

“Should I call you mom?” Jeno teasingly asked, poking the back of your head.

“Try me.”

(...)

As you folded your clothes and placed them in your new closet, the sun started setting. The light sound of sizzling could be heard from the room, probably Doyoung cooking dinner.

“Y/n!” He shouted from downstairs. “Come help me set the table.”

“Coming!” You set aside the remaining boxes. There were not many clothes left to unpack, so you could finish after eating.

You tiptoed on your way downstairs, accomplishing to scare him with a surprise back hug.

“Stop, you could've burnt yourself.” He scolded, undoing your hug only to quickly pull you by his side moments later.

“Is it me or are you getting a little too overprotective?”

“Am not!” His eyebrows quivered like they did every time he lied.

“Really? Then why haven't we had sex ever since you found out I was pregnant?” Your hand teasingly traced figures on his lower abdomen, a little too close to the stove he was using.

“You’re gonna get burnt.” Once again, he tried to push you away, but your hand remained in the same position. “Baby...”

“Uh-uh, you're not gonna sweet-talk your way out. Why won't you touch me anymore? Have I lost my charm or something?”

“What? No!” He turned off the stove, completely turning to his side to face you. “I just don't wanna hurt the baby.”

“Bullshit. You know it's still safe to do it, you already had one son, for god's sake.” Your arms were crossed over your slightly swollen mounds. “I want the truth.”

“I’m telling you the truth...” There was no nervous quiver from his eyebrows, but his tone was less than convincing.

“The whole truth, Doyoung.”

There was no way out, he had to tell you what he'd been trying to hurry at the back of his head for weeks now.

“I can't stop thinking that the only reason we became official is because of this baby, and I'm afraid if you lose it, I'll lose you as well.” It seemed as if your roles had reversed, as if he was the youngest, the most immature.

“Idiot.” You flicked his forehead with anger, later pulling him into a bear hug. “Get those stupid ideas out of your little head or I'll have to slap them out of you.”

“Rude much.”

“I told you once before we found out about the baby...” Your lips were achingly close to his, ready to kiss those soft, pink pillows. “I love you.”

Your eyes were stuck on his lips, too busy to notice how his eyes started sparkling, the edge of them trying to contain his tears. After a while, you looked up, his nostalgic expression puzzling you.

“I’m sorry, it's the hormones.” He sniffled.

“That's not how pregnancy works, honey.”

[trampohlena]

Okay, so after last night’s episode I would just like to say that Supercorp IS Endgame. I’d also like to point out the various reasons as to why Kara and Lena are not only soulmates but true twin flames.

For those reading this post who have never heard of the term twin flame: “A twin flame is your own soul, shared across what appears to be two physical beings. It’s one soul, split into two bodies.” -Google’s definition.

For those who are spiritually inclined and have a proclivity for indulging esoteric philosophies; Lena and Kara are ABSOLUTELY twin FUCKING flames 🔥🔥🔥!!

Here are the reasons why:

1. Their drastically different childhoods that resulted in remarkably similar trauma.

Both Kara and Lena have experienced great loss throughout their life. Both mourned the death of their parents, and life as they knew it, at a very early age. Both were shipped off to a foreign land, forced to leave behind everything they knew, in hopes for a brighter/safer future.

Albeit, Lena got the shorter end of the stick in regards to unconditional love, but both were given a second chance and a new start...and yet, they still never fit in, or felt like they truly belonged.

Although they individually have dealt with said trauma in different ways (Lena by pushing away those who try to get too close, and Kara by holding on tightly to those she holds dear) both of their actions are motivated by the same subconscious fear that they HAVE never and WILL never TRULY belong. All while yearning for a sense of “home”.

2. They are opposite reflections of each other; true “mirror souls”, if you will.

Physically, aesthetically, economically, and emotionally—they are complete “mirrors” of one another.

Kara is strong, physically powerful, cut from marble, all hard edges and sharp lines—except for her face. Lena is clearly not as physically powerful, she is soft, all curves, and exudes the grace of the Devine feminine energy—except for her face, which is hard edges and sharp jaw lines. You see what I’m saying?

Aesthetically and economically go hand in hand of course. Lena’s exorbitant wealth is evident in her high-end designer appearance; whereas Kara’s aesthetic is more humble and grounded, and prioritizes comfort over “fashion”. (Let’s admit it. Some of Kara’s fashion choices have been questionable. She clearly rocks the chinos and button-downs better than anything else in that eclectic closet of hers she refuses to come out of 😏)

Emotionally...oh honey. Do I need to say more? I won’t say much but I will say this: Kara is the sun and Lena is the moon. They compliment each other in a way that ensures the world keeps turning.

3. Their individual strengths are the other’s individual weakness and vice versa.

Goes along with the aforementioned “opposite reflection” point above but I’ll expand a bit further in regards to their specific personality traits.

Lena is predominately analytically driven, whereas Kara is emotionally driven. Lena is good in crowds, Kara is not (overwhelmed). Lena is introverted, Kara is extroverted. Lena is detail oriented and has the memory of an elephant, Kara is clumsy and as forgetful as a Pisces (but hey, she has a lot on her plate and barely any free time to balance it). Lena eats like a rabbit-bird-hybrid and Kara eats like a garbage disposal. Kara loves giving and receiving hugs and other forms of physical affection whereas Lena does not (UNLESS it’s from Kara, of course). Etc. Etc. you get the picture.

4. Now this one is the DEAD GIVEAWAY. Undeniable, irrefutable PROOF that Lena and Kara are twin flames.

They are LITERALLY completing what is know as the Twin Flame Journey or the Twin Flame Union.

The stages of Twin Flame Union are roughly as follows:

1. Yearning for “the one”. I think every human being that believes in love experiences this whether it’s throughout their entire life, or only their adult life until they meet this person but yeah. You get it. Kara has always wanted that “Wapow!” moment.

2. Glimpsing/meeting “the one”. Whether it’s only for a short moment, an extended meeting, or perhaps merely locking eyes with them as you pass each other by...you feel immediately connected. There is an instant soul recognition when meeting them, so much so that you could have sworn you’ve met them before or that it’s as if you’ve known each other your whole lives.

Remember when Kara met Lena? And she was gaga-eyed over Lena? Or when Lena felt so comfortable around a new acquaintance that she granted an almost stranger unbridled access to her office? Or how about when Red Daughter flew to America (the country she was taught to hate), with no recollection/memories of Kara’s relationship with Lena (again, the woman she was taught to hate), all because she felt PULLED to do so. And then when she did meet Lena she looked at her and practically drooled over her as if Lena was a double XL cheeseburger with extra special sauce from Big Belly Burger? Like, biiiitch 👀

3. Falling in love. Need I say more? Fine, again, I will. You CANNOT tell me that there is no way in hell that these two morons are anything BUT in love with each other. That’s a lot of double negatives and I appplogize so let me reiterate for clarification: THEY ARE IN LOVE AND YOU CAN’T CHANGE MY MIND!

And at this point is it so freaking BEYOND platonic love, the show cannot explain it away or sweep it under the “just close friends” rug. No. Kara used her Fifth Dimensional Wish (she literally could have wished her entire planet didn’t explode) and she said “make Lena not mad at me, I’m sad 😔” 👀. Mmmkay. Not to mention Lena picking Supergirl over Jack, her former lover. Or the plethora of other times Lena chose Kara/Supergirl over everyone else she knew. Mmkay.

4. The fairytale relationship/friendship. Lena has finally found someone she can depend on, be vulnerable with, support her without judgement, trust with her life etc. and Kara has finally found a true best friend, not her sister, not Kenny who she didn’t realize was her best friend till after he passed? And now he’s not dead?? But her one true best friend that she felt she didn’t need to be neither Supergirl, nor Kara Danvers, but rather Kara Zor-El around (despite Lena not knowing that little tidbit of information).

They were each other’s best friend. Each other’s person. They were happy.

5. Outer Turmoil and Inner Purging—Supergirl and Lena fight. Lena still does not know that Kara is indeed Supergirl and does not pick up on the brewing tension between herself and Kara.

Kara of course is riddled with guilt and her relationship with Lena becomes strained. This outer turmoil creates inner purging by bringing out negative traits in each other. I.E. Lena hiding kryptonite and also Kara asking James to spy on her. Shit gets messy but they still try to make it work.

6. The Runner and the Chaser/Separation Stage—Tensions mount between the two and Lena FINALLY learns about Kara’s secret. And she has a choice to make. So what does she do? She runs. Not physically but emotionally. She completely withdraws from not only Kara and their friends but also withdraws from herself.

She literally experiences cognitive dissonance and becomes someone she is not. Someone other people made her believe she was on the inside, even though Kara knows that it isn’t. And so, Kara chases her.

Lena becomes the runner and Kara becomes the chaser as they navigate this separation stage.

Continuously running and continuously chasing.

7. The Surrender and dissolution stage—they’re fucking done. They’re tired. They’re exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally after all the bullshit they put each other through as well as all the bullshit Lex and the Phantom Zone put them through.

They come to an impasse in regards to Lex and realize the only way to defeat him is to work together, as a team. (El Mayarah anyone?)

They surrender to their emotions and to each other as their egos dissolve and their souls expand after having learned invaluable life lessons. The major one being: THEY CANNOT LIVE HAPPILY WITHOUT EACH OTHER!

8. The last stage that we have yet to see but we fucking better or else I’m gonna January 6 the CW studio building—“Oneness”.

This time, I’m not gonna say more.

So, in conclusion: Supercorp is Endgame because Lena Luthor and Kara Zor-El Danvers are the literal definition of a twin flame, soulmate connection. They are the same soul, manifested in two physical forms, for the sole purpose of expanding their soul’s consciousness.

They deserve to be happy, they deserve to be together. Not only does their union parallel some of the greatest love stories throughout history, i.e. Romeo and Juliet, Darcy and Bennet, Superman and Lois (duh) it would also break the curse of generational karma and illustrate to anybody who watches the show that the only person who defines who you are is YOU. Not a name, not a legacy, not society’s expectations, YOU. And most importantly of ALL...it would showcase that love truly does conquer all.

I rest my case.

TPTB, make Supercorp Endgame or kick rocks ✌️😘

Sincerely,

An empassioned fan with way too much time on her hands.

[glassessence]

Modern Soulmate AU | Watanabe

M O D E R N   S O U L M A T E   A U   |   W A T A N A B E

-- You see in black and white until you meet your soulmate. --

There have been violent protests for days now and this morning graced us with a magnitude 5.9 earthquake. Suffice to say I’m feeling a little ~shooketh~ (pardon the pun; I’ll show myself out haha). 

Anyway, I’ve been writing a lot of angst lately and wanted a change of pace. I love the idea of soulmates, so here’s an AU featuring university professor Watanabe. I’m super tired at the time of this posting so grammatical tenses are all over the place. I’m sorry. I zoned out so hard during this that it’s half stream of consciousness lmao.  

Also, it’s in dot-point format because I have no time to write it into an actual oneshot *cry* Also, if anyone cares, here’s what I have planned for future instalments in this series: 

CEO Lee | Secretary Reader

Pop singer Kamui | Backup dancer Reader

W A T A N A B E   |   U N I V E R S I T Y   P R O F E S S O R

Watanabe has seen in faded colours since the start of the semester. He knows his soulmate is a student, but doesn’t know who.

It’s not until you stay behind to ask him a question that it happens. He turns to you and his world bursts into riotous technicolour. Your world explodes into colour, blues and greens and yellows beyond your wildest dreams.

For a moment, both of you just stare at each other. Watanabe is speechless, blown away by the colour in your cheeks and the light in your eyes. You’re backlit by the soft afternoon sun and all he can think of is how beautiful you are.

You’ve always considered Watanabe handsome but unattainable. You’d always figured someone like him would be taken. All the good ones were. 

But now, he was your soulmate. The knowledge feels impossible and knocks the very breath out of you. 

“It’s you,” Watanabe breathes, so quietly you barely hear him. His hand reaches out. Long fingers are inches from your face when he seems to remember himself. He drops his hand. Clearing his throat, he asks you how he can help.

You’re so shocked at the blazing colour of the world that you’ve forgotten your question. “N-Nevermind, professor. I’ve gotta go.” Heart hammering and face flaming, you rush from the room as fast as you can. 

The next few weeks are super awkward. You’re not sure how to talk to Watanabe and he seems to be avoiding you. He rushes out after every lecture and doesn’t meet your eye. Even though your world looks so beautiful now, it feels grayer than ever.

Watanabe feels miserable and impossibly conflicted. He wants to get to know you, to hold you and kiss you. Knowing you were out there alone was a pain he could hardly bear. 

“You’re kidding,” Bruce says over beer one day. He eyes his lonely friend. “Keep it secret, Watanabe, but you have to do something. This doesn’t just happen to anyone, you know.”

You stopped going to lectures, unable to stand the reality of Watanabe purposefully ignoring you. Was it because you were a student? Or… did he have someone else? The very possibility of another woman filled your heart with envy. 

Noticing your absence, Watanabe grew concerned. He was a university professor, after all. Regardless of whatever bond connected the both of you, you were still his student. 

He reached out to you via email. Y/N, I haven’t seen you in lectures lately. Is everything okay? 

Your response was curt. Thank you for checking in, professor. I’m fine, just been feeling a bit unwell lately. 

Guilt shot through Watanabe. It seemed it was your turn to avoid him. He knew he deserved it. His heart ached. Bruce was right. Something had to be done. I see. I don’t want you to fail the subject.  I think we should have a catch up over coffee to discuss your progress.

Your heart skipped a beat. Was Watanabe asking you out on a date? Or were you reading way too much into it? Regardless, you dressed well. The day was bright, warm and sunny. You’d grown used to the brilliant colours, but still took immense pleasure in seeing the autumn leaves fall. 

He was dressed in a casual button down and slacks, long hair knotted at the back of his head. Handsome without trying, as usual. You eyed him warily. He’d made his intentions clear so far. You didn’t want to start off on the wrong foot. Still, something in you ached for his touch. You tore your eyes from his lips. 

Watanabe admired you. He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about you, but seeing you again up close, he was taken aback by your eyes. “You came,” he says simply. “Of course,” you reply casually. “I don’t want to fail the subject, after all.”

Watanabe quirks a smile. “I’d certainly hope not.” The two of you sit down. The conversation is initially focused on your academics and all the content you’d have to catch up on. However, it soon spirals into something else. You make him laugh, a deep rumble that kindles something in your soul. He possesses a sharp intellect that you’re desperately attracted to. Time passes in the blink of an eye. 

“I should go,” you say, gathering up your things as the sun is setting. The sky is overcast, pregnant with heavy clouds threatening rain. “Yeah,” he agrees. “My bad.”

“No,” you counter boldly. “My pleasure.” His eyes widen, but he looks away. He says nothing, but the disapproving frown tells you enough. Your smile fades. “Watanabe...What is this?” His answer is bitter. “Wrong,” he says.

Hurt and anger burn in your chest. “Wrong?” you echo. You point to your eyes. “You think this is wrong?” You slap your palm to your chest. Your voice breaks. “You think this is wrong?”

“No,” he growls, frustrated. “Never. But I’m a professor and you’re a student. I can’t take advantage of you.”

“You’re not taking advantage of me! This is meant to be! I-Is there someone else?”

He stares at you in disbelief. “No, of course not. I just...can’t.” You bite your lip. “I can’t bear to be around you,” you say softly. Raindrops splatter onto the pavement. “I’m going now.”

You turn from him and walk into the pouring rain. Watanabe runs after you. “At least let me take you home. You walked here, right?” You keep walking, trying to ignore the magnetic pull of him. “I’m fine.”

“Dammit woman,” he says, voice low. He grabs you by the arm and forces you to face him. You have to look up to see his face. “Why are you being so difficult?”

Something in you cracks. “Because,” you say heatedly. “I can’t bear to be around you! To want you so much it hurts. To want to touch you and kiss you and be beside you. To know that you’d rather be alone than with me!”

“That’s not true!” he roars back at you. “I want you. So much. I want to leave my marks on you and make you my woman. But I can’t! People will judge you and I won’t allow that.”

“Fuck them,” you reply. “You’re just a coward, Watanabe.”

His hold on you loosens in shock. You take the opportunity to break away. The sky was black now and the rain showed no signs of relenting. You hated how brightly the moon shone and how beautiful the night was under her silver touch. 

Suddenly, a hand pulled you back. Lips touched yours, warm and velvet soft. Watanabe kissed you deeply. His tongue snuck into your mouth, twining with yours like long-lost lovers. His hand curled into your hair. The other encircled your waist, pulling you flush against him.

Reluctantly, he pulled back, resting his forehead against yours. His breathing was heavy. “I’m not a coward,” he whispered in your ear. “I just don’t want you to suffer because of me. Others might not understand. They might attack you. I don’t want you to hate me.”

“I could never,” you answer softly. “Never, Watanabe.”

The two of you made it back to his car. But it was a good deal later into the night that you returned home… 

[so-writing]

Sugar, Honey, Ice and Tea - Matthew Tkachuk (2)

All parts in the master list

Matthew didn’t come back to the room the two of you were supposed to be sharing to get any of his things before practice started. You got dressed and slowly made your way to the rink, expecting him to be as much of a handful that evening as he was during the morning skate. 

“You really like to start shit, huh?”

“What?” 

The same assistant you’d shit on Matt with the day before laughed before shaking his head and patting you on the shoulder, “Tkachuk basically demanded a room reassignment. Sutter pretty much told him to grow a pair and get the fuck over it. He’s not happy and it is showing.”

He waved his hand toward the ice and you looked up just in time to see Matthew shoot a puck directly into the glass, causing it to explode in a million shards and cover both the seats positioned near it and the ice. 

“Tkachuk!”

You winced at how harsh the sound of his name came out of the coach’s mouth, “get off the ice! Cool down! Now!”

Matthew skated quickly toward the bench and hurried down the tunnel, not bothering to give either of you a glance. 

“You’re going to have to fix whatever is going on between the two of you. He can’t do this tomorrow during the game.”

You knew he was right. You knew that despite how shitty Matthew acted toward you, you needed to be the bigger person and talk—apologize—to him for whatever he needed. He needed to get out of his head and you unfortunately had to be the one to help him. 

“I know,” you whined, “but I don’t want to!” 

“What even is the problem with you guys? I know I haven’t been here long but I’ve picked up on the disconnect that you have with him alone.”

“He’s never liked me. I don’t know what I did.” 

“That sucks, but you better figure it out and squash it. This is bleak but if it comes down to your or him, your ass is out and you know it.”

The thought hadn’t even occurred to you. You’d been uncool with Matthew for such a long time that you thought it was something that would just exist in the background but not actually matter. 

It was naive and quite frankly stupid of you to not consider what might happen if the tension between yourself and Matthew escalated. You were a casual, easily replaceable assistant to the coaching staff and he was the heart and the future leader of the team. He wasn’t going anywhere. 

But, if you didn’t get it together, you were going somewhere and that was right out the fucking door and into the unemployment line. 

*

You got back to the room first, showering quickly and settling yourself into the corner of the room with your laptop on your knees so that you could catch up on some work. The goal was to stay completely out of Matthew’s way. 

The plan was to start slow. You would tuck yourself away until he was willing to tolerate you and then, slowly, you’d apologize and try to create a relationship between you that was civil and wouldn’t cost you your job. 

The door opened about an hour after you returned. 

“Fuck,” you watched from where you sat as Matthew ran both hands over his face and through his curls, “this is going to fucking suck.”

You said nothing and he didn’t notice you sitting in the corner on your laptop. He must have assumed you weren’t back yet, because he stripped his shirt off in the middle of the room and tossed it to the floor. 

His joggers and boxers followed suit. It was obvious that he had no idea you were in the room and you should have looked away as soon as he removed his shirt but he was a man getting naked in front of you and you were a woman with needs and as much as you hated him, you couldn’t deny that he was fucking hot.

“Holy shit!” 

Matthew turned to make his way to the bathroom to shower and just happened to meet your eyes on the way.

“What the fuck?! You’re here, why didn’t you fucking say something?!”

Your cheeks burned red as you watched him stumble around the hotel room, trying and failing to cover his body. 

“Sorry, sorry,” you rushed out, “I didn’t want to bother you. I wanted to leave you alone, I didn’t know you would-”

“So you’re a bitch and a fucking creep! Lucky me!”

He cut you off before hurrying to the bathroom, slamming the door hard behind him. 

Shutting off your laptop, you ignored your nightly skincare routine and desire to brush your teeth as you hauled your ass into bed. You definitely weren’t planning to be awake when he came out of the shower. 

*

The clock on the side table read 2:46AM. Rolling over, you realized the other side of the bed was vacant and your stomach shot up into your throat. Matthew was going to talk to the guys about what happened and you were definitely getting fired. 

Soft snores pulled you out of your thoughts and you leaned over the side of the bed to see Matthew Tkachuk passed out on the floor with a blanket far too small for his body covering him. 

He hated you that much that he would rather sleep on the cold, hard, nasty hotel room floor than in a bed with you. You didn’t blame him, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt your feelings just a little bit. 

“Matt,” you gently nudged his shoulder, “Matt, wake up.” 

“Hmm?”

He rolled around a little bit before finally waking up and the neutral expression on his face turned sour as soon as he recognized you. 

“Fucking, what?” 

“Get in bed. You can’t sleep on this floor, it’s going to fuck with your back. You can’t do it.” 

“I’m not getting into bed with you.” 

Fine. Fucking fine. You suppress the urge to roll your eyes and think about how much you like your job and the benefits and the salary.

“I’ll sleep on the floor, I don’t mind. You need to get all the rest you can.” 

“Fine,” he huffed and waited for you to get out of bed before taking his place opposite the one you’d been in.

The floor was cold and Matthew took the blanket he’d been using to bed with him so you were left with nothing but what you were wearing and an entirely too flat to be any kind of comfortable pillow. 

Sleep never came and when his alarm went off in the morning, you closed your eyes and pretended as he stepped around you, making more noise than necessary and slamming the door closed too hard as he headed down to team breakfast. 

You immediately jumped up as soon as Matthew was gone and headed for a shower. As soon as the water heated up, you hopped in and hauled your ass to the ground. Pulling your knees up to your chin, you began to cry. 

Fuck, you hated crying, especially at work but last night had been awful. It was obvious now that you and Matthew would never strike up a civil relationship and maybe it was for the best that you find another job. 

[ginanosakka]

The War Has Begun

Masterlist

Mind of a Monster | Next

Katsuki had been quiet as a mouse since the meeting, and even as he handled the investigation and information he was being relayed by those part of the mission, he looked more in thought than exploding with anger at his current situation. Usually, he would be patrolling the streets, taking down any petty thug or idiotic villain that dared to cause a scene in his area, but he found himself patrolling for as long as many other heroes he knew that preferred to take this profession slow. It didn’t even matter to him that he was seeing icy-hot on the news more than him now when he sat in the living room with his son.

His son.

Those words felt so right now despite the fact that children were at the bottom of his list of things to deal with. Seeing that blonde boy with the same blown out ashy blonde hair as his, sharing the same eyes with that damn sparkle of the girl he was forever intertwined with, he felt nothing but pure satisfaction and peace. The same satisfaction and peace he believed he could only have by being the number one hero, which was the reason why he spent so much overtime as a hero to try and surpass Deku, and to never be lumped into the same category as Todoroki. When he thought of being number one now, he couldn’t find that same passion for it.

“You should feel honored that the future number one hero lets you talk to him.” Katsuki boasted, grinning like a maniac while you sat across from him at the mall food court.

“Being number one is a sham, you know. My dad said that all those heroes at the top do it for money and fame, with the only exception being All Might. I prefer heroes like Gang Orca, he’s super cool and he actually cares about the people he’s saving.” You mentioned casually, picking up another fry from your tray of food and chewing on it.

Katsuki simmered down enough to take in what you said, and felt the slight shade you threw at his goal. “What’s that supposed to mean?! You think I’m a bad hero or something?!” He shouted, and you shrugged while ignoring the stares that you two were getting.

“That isn’t my dream to pick at, but it’s not hard to see that Endeavor doesn’t save lives because he cares about people. . You said the reason you want to be a hero was to make a lot of money and show off that you were better than everyone else. Do you really think you’re an All Might and not an Endeavor?”

He stood up with his hair casting a shadow over his eyes, and before you could even say another word, he walked away from you. You stared after him in shock at such a negative reaction from the truth, but you knew that he wouldn’t take that well. It was the truth that he’d been facing since starting UA that he wasn’t like his classmates who all shared his goal, but you knew he didn’t understand what you truly meant. The heaviness of your words weighed Katsuki down as he walked away from, his insecurities that he’d hide from you shining through in that moment. You were right in that moment; Katsuki didn’t understand what you meant, but he can’t pretend like it didn’t hurt.

“Real heroes don’t care about being number one as long as they’re helping someone. . what a dumbass.” Katsuki mumbled the moral of your words as they hit him like a train wreck.

‘She’s always been that damn wise, huh?’ He thought as he turned away from watching the television with his son to you.

You sat not too far away from them on his recliner, your legs crossed and eyes intently focused on your phone as you typed away. All morning you had been like that when you weren’t talking or doing something with Ryu. The two of you had not moved forward since his apology, but there were no longer small acts of aggression towards him when you spoke, and in your constant teasing of his short temper, there was no longer any comments about the past riddled in your humor. Though that didn’t ease his mind about the unspoken rivalry that had sprung from your reappearance.

He refused to lose you again, and damn sure not to shitty hair.

Without warning, Katsuki stood up and stalked towards you. His sudden movements took your attention away from your emails with your assistant and you looked up at him as he towered over you, and you’d never admit that the butterflies in your stomach weren’t from fear. In a simple tank top and shorts standing above you was a man that made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, but you’d much rather burn the image in the back of your mind and keep your hormones to yourself than embarrass yourself.

“We’re going out.” He said as if stating a fact, and in his mind, it very much was.

“. . . Who the fuck is we? Ryu, you didn’t hear me say that.” You blinked at Katsuki as if he had grown three heads, before looking to Ryu who’s attention had moved to the both of you when he heard the foul word fall from your mouth.

“When I burn stuff I’m bad, but you can say bad words,” you heard your five year old huff.

“I mean you and I,” Katsuki explained with slight irritation at you. “Pinky’s been bugging me anyway, so she can-“

You cut him off and turned your phone off, “there’s no need to call her. My assistant will watch him and I’ll babysit you.”

“Pain in my ass,” Katsuki mumbled just loud enough for you to hear as you stood up, and you smiled in return.

Being stuck in Katsuki’s house most of the time made you appreciate the outdoors more, and maybe a few weeks ago you’d complain about being in the park without Ryu, but it felt like a stilled moment in time now where you could pretend there was a sense of normalcy. You could pretend like you and Katsuki were just frenemies with complicated emotions, and he could take a breath from that world of constant ridicule and popularity contests. It was never spoken between you two, but it was clear that it wasn’t just you that was causing him to be stressed and consistently explosive; the hero community was wearing him down for a while now.

It only took finding out he had a child, rivaling the girl he lost, and having them both be targeted by her father, for him to realize being number one wasn’t that important.

“So, why did you want to take me to the park . without the child that loves the park?” You said with mild amusement, you two walking side by side in your hoodies and sweats to be at least slightly concealed in public.

Truthfully, in his moment of haste to get a leg up on his own friend, he hadn’t fully thought out an idea to get close to you. It wasn’t until he made it out of the apartment, after barely casting a glance at your assistant, Nanami, that you allowed into his home, that he realized this may not have been the smartest course of action. And he’d never admit that to you.

“You looked like you needed some time away, and I’m tired of looking at you working when you’re not even there.” He said gruffly, avoiding your face and doing his best to fight the small blush he could feel heat up his cheeks.

You chuckled lowly, “some things never change. . Speaking of that, how are things with Midoriya? I was surprised to hear that you didn’t full on murder him when he was announced the number one hero.” You said, giving him a sideways glance to gauge his reaction.

That was quite a blow to his ego. It took him a while to recover from losing to the boy he had looked down on his entire childhood, and then underestimated in his later years until he was forced to realize that Deku was his equal. What he lacked, Deku excelled, and there was nothing he could do about that other than to work harder. It took a long time for Katsuki to truly accept that there was something special about that nerd, and the world needed him.

“He’ll always be a loser to me. . but he’s a decent hero. I’d be a dumbass like the rest of you to kick his ass about it.” Katsuki said and looked you in the eyes, showing that he meant every word. “You know, I can’t tell if you hate me or care too damn much sometimes.”

You hummed with a smile creeping up on your face, “It’s a healthy balance of both. . I’m not ready

to overthink us right now when I can’t be completely open with you, or anyone else for that matter.” The smile that grew had withered near the end of your sentence, and you felt a flash of guilt in you for dragging him into a battle that had little to do with him. You dragged an entire army of heroes into this, and you couldn’t even guarantee they’d have their jobs. . without using them like pawns.

“I’m not letting you go through this alone. I don’t care how much you try to push me away, your shitty ass is stuck with me.” He said without missing a beat.

For a moment you smiled again, and Katsuki accepted the uncontrollable beating of his heart around you. Your bodies had inches closer during your walk, and though your hand never touched nor did your arms link, you felt close to another. It was possible that it was a toxic attachment neither of you should be so content within, neither of you wasted another breath to question it.

You both arrived back at the apartment a mere few hours later. Walking in public together in broad daylight wasn’t the safest idea at this time even in hoodies, so it wasn’t long before you both agreed to turn back. The sun was still shining outside when Katsuki opened the door, yet the eerie silence that welcomed him made a chill run down his spine and every alarm in his body went off at once.

His body reacted before his mind when he stalked towards the living room, then to the kitchen, and lastly to Ryu’s bedroom to find absolutely no one. There were things of Ryu’s missing — some clothes and toys that he took with him wherever he could. There were signs that a child had once been here still scattered around the house, but there wasn’t any sign that Nanami had ever been here.

Rage, fear, and sadness were running rampant in Bakugou’s mind as he frantically searched Ryu’s room for anything that would tell him where they went and that this was some misunderstanding. He was cursing himself for not taking a second look at that girl, and he cursed himself for leaving his only son with her when he knew nothing about her. Had he stopped and checked her out he might have been able to tell something was off — he might have been able to stop his son from going missing and be a good father like he should have.

His frantic thoughts stopped suddenly, along with his movements and time. He remembered who else was here and wasn’t making a sound while he tore the room apart. Who hadn’t made a single sound since leaving the park.

“Y/N.”

The way your name fell from his lips felt like venom being injected straight into your veins, but your face remained neural even as his manic eyes made contact with yours. You didn’t speak in fear that any response would cause him to spur completely out of control, and you knew that whatever response you gave him wouldn’t be good enough. This wasn’t a battle you’d win.

“Where. . Is he?” Katsuki asked slowly through gritted teeth.

“I think you need to-“ you attempted to reach out to him and de escalate this enough to explain, but he cut you off with more fury than a scorned man.

“Where is my son?!”

Before any answer could be given the front door was slammed opened with a deafening smack, sending you whirling around at the sudden action. Thundering footsteps came down the hall and before you could even let the anxiety consume you, men dressed in riot gear appeared in the doorway of the room with guns pointed in your direction. Your hands flew up automatically, and they wasted no time swarming you.

“Y/N L/N, you’re under arrest for conspiracy and premeditated murder.”

A/N: A missing mother, a missing son, and an arrest. What a wholesome story. Anyways, the angst never stops and the tables keep turning, LETS GET CRAZY!

Taglist (Closed) <3 : @fandomgirllover @cloudsgathering @that-bipolar-renegade-romantic @jazzylove @that-chick212 @bonbonthedragon @misssugarless @insomniac-nerd-posts-things @bakugous-bakahoe @pinkykookie17 @animexholic @arielting @samkysnks @simpforeveryone @damnirina @deneuves @tsumuuumiyaaaa @vintage-teddyxo @regalmigraine @samvmgh @iamagalaxy @officialtrashbusiness @xwackk @videogameboiwhowins @marajillana @ellasdilemma @plutoneu @saucey-kneecapzz42020 @thestarsanctuary @dewdropwifu @star-light-imagines @kritiiiii @bakugosbottombitch @the2ndl @candybabey @simply-not-the-same @sam-i-am-1025 @mes-bisous @eternallyvenus @peppytine @chaelysian @definitely-yours @oikawarc @suneaterofthebig3 @m0na-l0ver @nkb0048 @losertsukki @notyourfavorlte @caramelsquares @hikaru-mikazuki

[glitxhwayventeen]

Lonely Hearts Club

Seokmin: Chapter 2 (The Heart Wants What It Wants)

Characters: Seokmin x female reader

Genre/Warnings: multi-member au (different scenarios), werewolf au, fantasy, smut, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it kids), bondage (sort of anyways?), pet names, creampie, squirting, dirty talk, angst, fluff, potential blood mentions, genocide mentions, mental illness (depression implied), sexual mentions, mentions of death, violence mentions. Any others will be put as warnings when future chapters are thought up/written.

Author’s Note: I had the thought to use the song The Heart Wants What It Wants by Selena Gomez for this chapter. Don’t ask me why. I just did. And I’m too sick to change it so here it is.

Please remember that all of these chapters and the content within them are a work of fiction! They’re just for fun/entertainment!

Bold= Dialogue Italics= Thoughts

Slight 🥀 but mostly just pure 💋tbh

Lonely Hearts Club Master Club

Chapter 2: The Heart Wants What It Wants

“Come on Sol! Hurry up! By the time we get there it’ll be dark!” Seokmin complained to the younger wolf, wanting to reach their destination as quickly as possible.

“Aya! I’m moving as fast as I can. You ever think that maybe you’re just a little TOO excited to go see her?” Hansol smirked as he sped up his movements slightly to appease his brother.

It was true, they both knew it. Hell, at this point, Seokmin was sure you’d even realize that he had been counting the seconds before he could come see you again. It had been five days. FIVE DAYS. He felt like he was going crazy without you. His pack tried to cheer him up as best as they could, Jihoon even asked if he wanted to wrestle around outside with him, something Jihoon had hated more than anything. But still, he wanted to do nothing other than sit in front of the window and wait the minutes out till he could see your beautiful face again. Since he met you, he’s never wanted anything more than to spend time with you. And you being gone… well that made it impossible. So you could say he was just a TAD too eager to get back to you…

“Shut up and just- just hurry up would you!” Seokmin growled, slightly out of annoyance that the younger wolf was taunting him and slightly because he had been taking away his newly promised time with you.

It was bad enough he had him carry all the supplies he needed in his backpack, now he was slowing him down too. It was exhausting.

“Geez, you sure are grumpy now. What’s gotten a mate done to you hyung?” Hansol chuckled gently while poking fun at his brother innocently, knowing full well that he was actually being quite tame compared to what most mated wolves would’ve done without seeing their significant other for as long as he had.

“Nothing! I just- I just want to see her is all! You don’t understand. You don’t have a mate yet!” Seokmin groaned while hiking his way up the start of the mountain your cave was located in. He didn’t even have to try to remember how to get there like Hansol did, he could sense you, it was one of the reasons he agreed to bring him along even though he knew it was most likely annoy you.

“Pfff. You’ve had a mate all of five minutes and you’re already acting like you’re a love expert. You’re a piece of work you know that? I didn’t even have to let you come with me today. I fought with Seungcheol Hyung to get him to let you tag along. Don’t make me regret it yeah?” Hansol rolled his eyes, trudging along right behind his older impatient brother. He felt for him, he really did. He couldn’t imagine what he’d do in his situation, but he wasn’t about to let Seokmin be a dick to him just because he hasn’t seen you in a week. Surely it couldn’t be THAT hard for him to be less of an asshole.

“Look- I’m sorry okay? I just…” Seokmin halted his actions of climbing up a rocky trail before he turned to his friend, “Its bad enough she doesn’t love me. But with her not loving me AND being gone for almost a week, it feels like- like all my insides have been scooped out and… and I can’t find them anymore. I feel like an empty shell.” He continued, “But I know that if I could just- if I could just see her again, all of it would just heal over and I’d be happy to wake up in the morning again. So I NEED to see her, okay?” Seokmin gripped his hair tightly, partly in frustration and partially in defeat.

He wasn’t even sure what would happen when you’d see him again. You could really just slap him and tell him you never wanted him in your presence again. But he HAD to try, he NEEDED to smell your sweet scent again. He HAD to look at your angelic face again. He felt like he was gonna explode if he didn’t.

“I don’t know what’ll happened if I don’t. And trust me when I say, you don’t want to find out.” He finished as he started his trekking back up, leaving his brother taken aback by his sudden exposed fragility.

“It’s okay. I get it, I mean, I may not have a mate, but I’m not an idiot. We can all see how it’s killing you not to be around her man. She’ll come around. Don’t worry. It all just takes some time. Especially after everything that’s happened to her.” Hansol assured as he sat his hand on Seokmin’s shoulder in a comforting manner, causing the older wolf to smile at him in gratitude.

“Thanks Sol. I hope you’re right. Because I’m gonna start worrying for my sanity if so have to wait much-” Seokmin suddenly stopped speaking mid-sentence once he sensed that something was… different about you as they had gotten close enough to your den for him to feel you.

“Hyung? You good? Is everything alright-” Hansol tried while waving his hand in front of his brother’s zoned out face.

Seokmin quickly grabbed his hand and pushed it away before growling, “You need to leave.”

“Leave? What do you mean leave? We have to check on (Y/N) remember?” Hansol laughed aloud, attempting to start his walking back up.

Seokmin wraps his hand around Hansol’s wrist and spun him around to look at him.

“No. I’ll check on her. You need to go back to the house and make sure no one else comes up here. Got it?” He lets out, tightening his grip on the young boys arm without even realizing it.

“Seokmin, what the hell? Why on Earth would I do that? I have to help her-” Hansol tried to reason and attempted to break the hold he had on his wrist.

When Hansol met Seokmin’s eyes, he could see that they had turned blood red. He jumped back slightly, startled at his brother’s sudden mood shift.

“No. I’m the only one that’s allowed to help her the way she is. You need to leave. Now.” He growled as he released his hand from Hansol’s limb and started to continue walking to your den.

“And DON’T wait up for me.” He declared to the younger wolf, leaving him standing there stunned in his spot as he watched him stomp up towards the cave’s opening.

-

You had been pulling and pulling to no avail. You needed out. You felt like you were a living flame that needed to be put out. You moved your hips a little too quickly one way, causing a small whimper to emit from your lips. You were too fucking sensitive. Everything hurt.

“And you didn’t think to tell me that this-” Seokmin surprised you as he gestured around your cave, “Was your important business?” He chuckled out as he knelt down beside you.

Before he walked into your cave, he could already feel the change in your energy, he wasn’t sure what it was exactly. But he just knew he didn’t want ANYONE ELSE but him to see you in your current state. Red flags went off in his head the second Hansol stepped even one foot too close to the vicinity of your cave. He got territorial without even knowing why he didn’t want anyone else around you.

Now that he had actually entered your cave, he understood why. You were against the farthest rock wall from the opening. You were wearing nothing but your small green tank top and a pair of lacy panties. Your hair was damp against your skin, your lips were chapped, and you had a thin layer of sweat adorned on your glowing skin. You were growling out in frustration. Chains laid above your head, your wrists tightly held in place as you winced in pain. Not from trying to get out of your restraints, but from the obvious discomfort between your legs. Your panties had, at this point, been completely soaked through, the wetness clear to anyone who would have dared to witness your display.

That’s when he understood why you had been trying so hard to get away from him: you were in heat. You needed to run away so you wouldn’t go crazy around his pack. So you came back to your den to ride it out. Alone. Even though you had a mate.

“I thought you would’ve figured it out by now” you respond, lolling your head to the side from exhaustion with a seductive smirk on your face. Heat was truly fucking horrible chained to a wall. And now that Seokmin was here, it was like the Gods had finally answered your prayers for release. You HAD to have him and you had to have him right then and there.

“Help me- Please!” you whined out, tugging on your chains hard hoping he would get what you were hinting at.

“I don’t think taking them off you is a good idea. Who knows what you’d do” Seokmin replied before he took off his pack and pulled a rag out from the biggest pocket.

He drenched it in one of your buckets of water and placed it on your scorching head, you hissed at the feeling of something so cold having touched your flaming skin.

You let out a dry chuckle before responding, “You. I’d do you. Now help me out of these. Please.” You begged, eyes turning emerald green at the thought of finally getting your neediness taken care of by the man in front of you.

“(Y/N)- I- I don’t think you understand what you’re asking.” He attempted to reason with you, trying his absolute best to remain unaffected by your current state.

But it was hard. You were half naked, chained to the wall in heat, pleading with him to help you. And God, did he want to help you. Every instinct in him was telling him to ravage you and make you his.

“I know exactly what I’m asking you to do. Please Seokmin- It hurts! Please take my pain away. Please!” You groaned out as you shook your chains in impatience, “Don’t you want to help me?” You questioned him with an innocence face, but your eyes couldn’t have been more dirty. Fuck. You were gonna kill him with that mischievous little glint in your eyes.

“I- I do. But I cant. (Y/N), you’ll regret it if I help you that way. The best I can do is-” His sentence broke as you rubbed your foot against the crotch of his jeans, causing a cut off hiss to expel from his lips, “Is- is help you ride it out by taking care of your symptoms.” He stuttered as he denied you, it was taking everything he had to hold himself back from attacking your lips. You were making everything EXTREMELY hard for him. Literally.

But he knew you’d be upset with him if he did what you wanted him to do right now. He’d be taking advantage of your vulnerable state. That’s not how he wanted his first time with you to go. Or anytime with you for that matter. He wanted you to be fully aware of what would be happening and he wanted you to be glad it was taking place because you loved him, not because you were a sex crazed animal in the middle of mating season.

Tears started to form in your eyes and began to slide down your cheeks. You couldn’t take it anymore. He was right there, and touching you, but not in the place you needed him most. It was killing you. The ache between your legs was getting to be too much for you to bare.

“PLEASE SEOKMIN PLEASE! I can’t take this anymore! You’re so close but you’re too far away. I want you to take care of me. Please!” You wailed out, thrashing yourself around as you tried to find some stimulation, hell, ANY stimulation you could get to rub against your heat.

“(Y/N), I can’t. You’re just saying that because you’re going through your mating cycle. If you were thinking normally, you would probably have already pushed me out of your den by now. You don’t want me, you want your pain to go away. And that’s not reason enough for me to break, I’m sorry. ” Seokmin spoke softly, upset that he had to speak his reality into existence.

He wanted you to want him, but he knew that normal you didn’t. Hormone you only wanted him to scratch an itch for you. And as much as his inner wolf was pleading with him to heed to your request, he couldn’t. Not if it meant you’d hate him more afterwards.

“You think I don’t normally want you? Do you know how hard it is to stay away from you? Do you even know what it takes to be as cold towards you as I am? It kills me. I want to be sitting in your lap all the god damn time for fucksakes. All I want to do is get on my knees for you 24 hours of the fucking day and suck your soul out. I want you to hold me down on a bed and fuck the living daylights out of me. I want you to pound me so hard all I know is your name. But it’s just my natural instinct to resist you after everything that’s happened. But PLEASE, I can’t take this anymore. I want you to help me. I NEED you to help me. Please Seokmin?” You yelled out to get his attention with one final plea, looking at him with watery red eyes and a pushed out lip.

He stared you deep in the eyes as he debated what to do. On one hand, he didn’t want you to be remorseful over this. But on the other hand, his cock was already scrapping his jeans because of how aroused your current state had made him. You were ducking dripping onto the cave floor and it was all because of him. It was all FOR him. Oh, fuck it.

He quickly attached his chapped lips to your near bloody ones from biting them to suppress groans, feverishly moving his in an effort to make up for lost time. You whimpered into his mouth and tugged on your restraints, showing him that you wanted them off. He gave you a dirty smirk before he grabbed the key setting juuuust out of your reach and unlocked your chains. Once free, you all but threw yourself at Seokmin, smashing your lips back onto his like your life depended on it. You were gripping his hair roughly while forcing your mouth to his with such force, you could feel your teeth clashing. You had to have him touch you more, you NEEDED him to touch you more.

He stood the both of you up and rid you of your shirt and panties in a flash. Soon, his own articles of clothing were gone and, before you knew it, he was holding you against the cave wall, you legs wrapped around his waist as you grinded against his member for some sweet friction.

He grabbed your hair and forced your head to the side for better access as he started making small love bites up and down your neck and chest. You scrapped your nails through his hair, the little pleasure starting to affect you in ways you had never even dreamed it would. It felt like he was the only thing holding you to earth as you held onto him for dear life, both of you far too gone to care about anything else but the feeling of each other’s touch.

The hand that was still in your hair pulled you to look back at him as he spoke to you with soft eyes, “Are you sure you want this baby? We can stop if you want to. I don’t want to do something you’re not ready for.”

He knew the chances of you wanting to stop while you were in heat were slim to none, but he also knew that you wanted nothing to do with him most of the time. He didn’t want you to be angry with him later. He needed fo be SURE you knew the consequences to what you were asking him to do.

“Yes. I’m sure. Now PLEASE just fuck me before I go crazy. Please!” You replied as you held his hair in a death grip, slowly rubbing your slit against his member. This let him shallowly dip into you and caused a light squeal to emit from your chest.

He positioned himself fully in front of your entrance, giving you a final look, wanting you to give him another form of assurance before he continued with his actions. You nodded your head at him as you pulled him in for a passionate kiss of approval.

He hurriedly buried himself completely inside of you, both of you moaning out from pleasure in the process. A deep growl came from Seokmin’s chest as he dug his face into your neck in an effort to try and hold himself still so you could adjust to his long length. As much as he wanted to start fucking you into the cave wall, he refused to continue until he knew you were comfortable enough to move on.

Soon, you started to rut against him, trying pathetically to get him to move. He got the hint fast and pulled out so that just his tip was barely inside you before he pushed himself back in at full speed. The action had forced all the air out of your lungs and had you grasping for any part of him that was within your reach. He was fucking you brutally against the wall and you felt like you were in Heaven.

“Fuck- you take me so well baby. Like you were made for me. Bet you wanted me to fuck your pretty little pussy since the day we met” He breathed out, causing you to whine in response to his filthy words.

You were so sensitive from the days of being locked away with no satisfaction, your walls were already fluttering around his cock after just a minute or two of him being inside you. The feeling of you clenching around him made his eyes roll to the back of his head from sheer ecstasy. He wasn’t gonna last long, but he was determined to get you there first. You were his main priority. Especially with you being in heat, he was insistent on making you cum first.

“Do I really feel that good?” You asked in choked out breaths and chuckled lightly at his fucked out expression. He had his eyes partially closed and his brows were pushed into a concentrated face, he looked spectacular.

“Baby, you have no idea how good your little cunt feels” he groaned out and pulled you in for another kiss, quickening his pace as he was getting closer to his release.

He halted his actions before he sat you back onto the cave floor and positioned you on all fours. He entered you from behind and started thrusting into you at an inhuman pace. He grabbed your hair and pulled your body to his chest, making your mouth fall open in response to your new position as he moved his hand that was in your hair to your throat. He was sooooo much deeper now, he was hitting your cervix with every movement. You were sure he was gonna break you in two.

You gasped when he hit juuust the right spot inside you, “Fuck! I- I’m so close!” you squealed out, grabbing the hand he had around your throat and squeezing it tightly in an unsuccessful attempt to ground yourself.

“I know baby- fuck! You’re getting so tight around me, like a good little cocksleeve. So fucking perfect.” He darkly chuckled out, still mercilessly thrusting himself into you. He quickly added his other hand down to rub your swollen clit.

“Please- I-I can’t. Fuck! It’s too much I’m gonna-” you said as you tried to push his hand away. The pleasure his hand provided was too much for you, It felt like you were going to explode.

“Shh. It’s alright, I want you to. Go ahead baby, I know you need to. It must’ve been soooo hard going all this time without my dick to help you,” he cooed at you with a seductive smirk, “But You’ve been such a good girl princess. And Good girls deserve to be rewarded. Good girls get to cum on their daddy’s cock” he whispered as he licked up evilly from your collarbone to your ear, still pounding into you so hard you could hardly breathe and still rubbing your clit like it was the last thing he’d ever do.

“But I- You have to stop before I-” just as you were about to finish your sentence, a white wave of euphoria hit you, stopping you dead in your tracks.

“Holy shit” you heard Seokmin say as you started to come down from your high. You had thrown yourself out of his arms and onto your palms, now holding the ground in front of you.

“I made you squirt. Jesus Christ that was so hot baby” He spoke as he tapped his now soaked cock on your plump ass before he slid himself back into your pussy.

You whimpered loudly in response, “No please daddy- it’s too much. I- I cant-” You started to squirm from the overstimulation before Seokmin took your arms and pinned them behind your back with his hand, pushing your upper body to the ground.

“You can take a bit more baby. I know you can. I need to finish still. And It’s only fair that you’re nice to me now that I’ve been so nice to you right princess?” He teased while still pushing in and out of you sloppily to get himself off.

You whined slightly before you started to lazily clench your walls around him, trying to get him there quicker through the pain of your sensitivity. But you started to feel that familiar feeling building back up in your stomach. For most female wolves, their heat would start up their need immediately after relief unless one thing was done…

“Shit baby, I’m close. Where do you want me to cum? I could cum in your pretty little mouth so you can swallow all of me. Or I could paint your sweet ass with my cum so everyone will know you’re my little cock slut. It’s up to you princess” Seokmin gritted out through his teeth, smacking your ass with one hand and using the other one with the grip on your waist to pull you back to him over and over again.

“I- I need you to cum inside me.” You mustered out, already moaning out incoherent sounds from being so close to your own high so soon after your last one.

Seokmin’s rhythm faltered for a moment as he took in what you had just said before he spoke up again, “But baby… are you sure?” He did his best to sound as concerned as he could while he was still balls deep inside you. But fuck, it was hard when all he wanted to do was breed you like the bitch in heat you were.

“Yes. Please! It’ll make it go away for longer. Please! Cum inside me daddy” You all but screamed as he managed to graze your sweet spot.

He wouldn’t normally want to risk something like that, even with his own mate, he’d still want to be sure they were both ready for the possibility of a child in case. But all he could focus on was your tight cunt sucking him in over and over and how he wanted to help you with your heat as much as possible. You asked him to cum inside you. So that’s exactly what he was gonna do.

He threaded his brows together in concentration as he worked his way to his high. You had already started going over the edge for the second time today. Your moans and sounds were music to his ears, so his fangs had elongated. But because he wasn’t sure where you two had stood, he just decided to bite his bottom lip instead to keep himself from marking you.

“Fuck! Be a good little slut and take all of it.” He groaned as he pushed himself as deep into you as he could, emptying his load and releasing his hot thick cum against your walls in the process.

You were both a panting sweaty mess. He pulled out, an action to which you whined from the lack of fullness, and grabbed his shirt to help you clean up. Once you were both clean, he sat down beside you against your wall. You were still panting, but were remarkably quiet

“Are you upset with me?” Seokmin asked looking at his hands, doing everything he could to keep from meeting your gaze that had found him the second he started speaking.

“No I’m not mad at you. What makes you think that?” You answered, your mind still a little groggy and your voice still a little strained from the sex.

“I just figured you would be because we fucked. And then I came- well you know…” he responded, rubbing the back of his neck slightly.

“I’m not mad. Just tired. I asked you to help me and you did. I asked you to cum inside me and you did. So even if I wanted to be mad, I wouldn’t really have the right to be.” You added, hoping to ease his worries slightly while you were trying your best not to nod off to sleep.

“Yeah about that… why did you ask me to-” Seokmin started his sentence before you stopped him, immediately knowing what he was referring to.

“It keeps the need away for longer. Don’t ask me how I know. I just do. And I figured you’d need at least a few minutes before we could go for another round, so it seemed like the most viable option.” You stated matter of factly, running your trembling fingers through your messy hair before you sat them down on your lap.

“Oh. I see.” He said as he started to get visibly nervous. You knew where he was about to go with this sentence too, but you decided you’d let him ask anyways, “so… what does this mean? Are you gonna go back to hating me now?”

“I never hated you to begin with Seokmin. I just- I didn’t want a new mate. After what happened to my old one, it just- it didn’t feel right. So I was cold to you, and it’s not like I felt nothing for you then. I just- didn’t want to. As for the state of our relationship, I’m not really sure what we are myself. But I do know that I don’t want to be mean to you anymore. You never deserved it. You were just trying to love me, you didn’t do anything wrong. But I’m just not sure how good of a mate I’d be to you at the moment. I’ll do my best.” You huffed out earnestly as you turned your entire body to look at him.

He looked exhausted and you knew that that was your fault. But that still didn’t change the fact that you thought he was the most attractive person ever in that moment, still attempting to catch his breath, his hair matted and stuck to his forehead from sweat. He beamed a smile at you.

“I can live with that” he let out as he grabbed your petite hand in his big one and brought it up to his lips for a kiss.

“But why? Why would you want that if it means that you’d have a mate who still wasn’t capable of loving you properly?” You questioned. That thought had been on your mind since the second after he told you he had imprinted on you. Why would he want you if you didn’t even know how to love him?

Seokmin played with your fingers for a moment before he spoke again with a sweet smile that melted your heart, “The Heart Wants What It Wants I guess.”

(Updated 9/8)

[cassianstattoo]

HAPPY ACOSF RELEASE DAY!

(ACOSF SPOILERS AHEAD) ARE YOU EXCITED?

I personally am. It’s time for Nesta’s story (and not just hers) to be told. So, this leads to another thing I think (and hope) you’ve been waiting for.

LET’S EXPLAIN THE PLAYLIST! (Read every song’s meaning while or after reading the book) And thank you for all your love and support.

“Alone” by Melancholia: It describes the Cauldron scene at the beginning of the book. In this song you can feel the rage and how hard she’s struggling. This song is not about weakness. It’s about her strength.

“Impossible” by James Arthur: Chapter 1. Even if it’s not so clear in this chapter, I think this song represents how Cassian feels when Nesta’s around. He feels worthless and not so different from the other men she beds (as he thought in ACOFAS). He lost his hope of an happy future with the woman he loves and he feels like he’s breaking that last promise she made her. Everything just seems so impossible.

“Sister” by The Black Keys: Chapter 2. This just makes me think of Feyre and Nesta’s fight. It’s from Feyre’s pov.

“New House” by Toro y Moi: “I want a brand new house Something I can not buy, something I can afford I just want a long shower I been feeling so crowded” Chapter 3. It’s about Nesta settling down in the House of Wind. It’s not the place she feels she can call “home”. First of all, it’s not really hers. The last two sentences of this verse are about her breathing and trying to calm herself at the end of the chapter. She’s just tired.

“My Mother & I” by Lucy Dacus: Chapter 4. The whole song is about Nesta and the relationship with her mother when she was a child. I think there’s nothing else to say. Also, in the 1st Chapter it says that she’s born in spring, so the song talks about a girl who was born in May. It all fits.

“Teacher’s Pet” by Melanie Martinez”: “Teacher’s pet If I’m so special, why am I secret? Yeah, why the fuck is that? Do you regret The things we shared that I’ll never forget? Well, do you? Tell me that I know I’m young, but my mind is well beyond my years I knew this wouldn’t last, but fuck you, don’t you leave me here” Chapter 5 and 6. Nesta and Cassian’s first day of training together. She basically doesn’t want to act like she’s his pet and she’s got to do whatever he want just to respect her sister’s will.

“Dangerous Man” by Valley Of Wolves: “They say I’m a wanted man Holding line and break the fire I’m setting all the captives free But I’m hanging by a wire” Chapter 7. It’s about Eris and his double-cross. That’s how probably Cassian pictures Eris in his mind tbh.

“Control” by Halsey: Chapter 8. Nesta facing the stairs. It can be linked to other chapters too because if you take this song as a whole and not just a few verses, it really contains A LOT of things. For example, the line “The House was awake”. Also Chapter 9, when people start calling their children. You can find this moment in the song when it says “All the kids cried out ‘please stop, you’re scaring me”.

“Bookstore Girl” by Charlie Burg: Chapter 9. The bookstore girl is Gwyn and Nesta tries to know more about her.

“Wrong Direction” by Hailee Steinfeld: “I don’t hate you” Chapter 12. This song is about the chapter’s ending.

“You’ve Got a Friend In Me” by Cavetown: Chapter 13. Nesta and Gwyn’s interaction. Also, Nesta helping her.

“like that” by Bea Miller: Chapter 16. Nesta and Cassian’s tension is hilarious, but this song makes me thing about this scene so much.

“Queen” by Shawn Mendes: Chapter 17. Elain fighting with Nesta. This lyrics is so powerful. The first part is Elain talking to Nesta. The second part is Nesta talking to Elain.

“You’ll Follow Me Down” by Skunk Anansie: Chapter 17. Same scene. This is totally Nesta. She’s so scared of herself and of the world that surrounds her. She’s afraid to lose her sister in this world she still knows nothing about if not violence. She wants Elain by her side, even if it means dragging her down with her.

“Teeth” by 5 Seconds of Summer: Chapters 18/19. I like to call it “THE chapter”. Do you need me to explain why I chose this song? Um, I don’t think so. You know it.

“Only You” by Ellie Goulding: “Baby I’m on my knees” Chapter 22. He’s... returning the favor.

“Revolution” by Diplo, Faustix, Imanos, Kai: Chapter 24. Our girl Nesta knows what she’s doing. What she’s starting.

“Best Friend for Hire” by Anthony Amorim: Chapter 25. The whole song is about Nesta and Emerie’s interaction. Everytime I listen to it I can’t help but cry.

“Moment’s Silence (Common Tongue)” by Hozier: Chapter 26.  Nesta’s worried about Cassian and gives him relief.

“Rise Up” by Andra Day: Chapters 27/28. These three girls are going to rise up, bitches.

“Nina Cried Power” by Hozier, Mavie Staples: Chapter 29. This song is really powerful, just like Nesta. She always is, but in this chapter we learn HOW MUCH.

“Fix Me Now” by Garbage: “Bring me back to life (fix me now) Kiss me blind” Chapter 31. THAT scene. HE HEATED UP THE WHOLE ROOM Y’ALL. Cassian literally kissed her back to life.

“Ready or Not” by Fugees: Chapters 34/35/36. I can’t choose only one quote from this song. But can you hear its vibes? Nesta’s leading a dead army. This is THE power. 

“PILLOWTALK” by ZAYN: Chapter 37. *wink* This song says everything.

“Go Fuck Yourself” by Two Feet: Always chapter 37. I couldn’t choose just one song, you know. Also, lowkey Chapter 38.

“Never Again” by Breaking Benjamin: “Never again, never again Time will ot take the life from me” Chapter 38′s ending. All I can say is: NEVER AGAIN.

“Boy In The Bubble” by Alec Benjamin: Not linked to just one chapter. It makes me thing of Azriel a lot.

“Past Lives” by BØRNS: “I've got the strangest feeling This isn't our first time around Past lives couldn't ever come between us Some time the dreamers finally wake up Don't wake me I'm not dreaming“ Chapter 39. Gwyn and Azriel. Well, these lines are about them, but I think the rest of the song represents Elain and Azriel, too. I don’t know if you feel the same.

“Boulevard of Broken Dreams” by Green Day: THIS IS AZRIEL’S SONG. YOU CAN’T TELL ME OTHERWISE.

“Watch Me While I Bloom” by Hayley Williams: Chapter 41. Nesta teaching Cassian how to treat a woman. She’s got big dick energy ayeee

“R U Mine?” by Arctic Monkeys: Still chapter 41. Cassian taking control of the situation. This song just screams “dominant” lmao.

“Walls Could Talk” by Halsey: So Halsey once said “The House was awake” (Control). What if those Walls Could Talk? Like, poor thing. It could have a mental breakdown. This song is dedicated to the House of Wind ‘cause it needs respect. It’s alive. Just imagine how’d you feel watching non-stop those two fucking and fighting. Also Azriel, you’re loved.

“Despicable” by grandson: “If I were you I wouldn’t love me neither” Chapter 43. Tamlin deserves a song, too.

“Part Of Me” by Katy Perry: Chapters 45/46. It’s all SO chaotic. This song means a lot of things. They all lied to her, but this song is particularly about Nesta and Amren’s fight. In my opinion, she did the right think telling Feyre the truth ‘cause she deserved to know, but it just wasn’t the right time and space.

“Don’t Give Up On Me” by Andy Grammer: Chapter 47. Cassian’s going to take care of Nesta. She made a mistake but she knows here better than anyone. He won’t give up on her.

“There You Are” by ZAYN: Chapter 50. Cassian comforts Nesta when she finally explodes. He’s there for her with open arms.

“You Found Me” by The Fray: Still Chapter 50. This chapter was so hard to read and this is another song that can describe it best.

“Locked Out Of Heaven” by Bruno Mars: Chapter 51. Illyrian bat boys just love flat objects. I see.

“Thin White Lies” by 5 Seconds of Summer: Chapter 51. Yeah, still thinking about that desk.

“Chosen Family” by Rina Sawayama: Still Chapter 51. This song is wholly dedicated to Nesta’s new found family. Not only Gwyn and Emerie, but also Cassian.

“Library Magic” by The Head And The Heart: Chapter 52. Listen to this song and read the scene at the beginning of the chapter.

“Battle Cry” by Imagine Dragons: Chapter 54. I know it’s weird but I feel this song talks about Lanthys and Nesta’s fight.

“Hurt” by Christina Aguilera: Chapter 55. Nesta takes Cassian to the place she lived with her family in the mortal lands. It’s dirty and broken now but it’s still there. Nes talks about her father and realizes how much he’s done for her and her sisters.

“Story Of Another Us” by 5 Seconds of Summer: Chapter 56. I know this sounds like a sad song but to me it represents Gwyn’s present. The story of their past (of another “them”) and also their present.

“Drama Club” by Melanie Martinez: Chapter 57. Eris vibes, y’all. I know you can feel them. Everytime I listen to this song I can’t help but thinking of him. So the only thing I can tell you is: listen carefully.

“Genius” by Sia, Diplo, Labrinth: Chapter 57. Hear this song. It just makes me think of a ballroom where two people try to talk to other people and they’re avoiding to make eye contact. And they fail (yeah, those people are Cassian and Nesta btw)

“Therefore I Am” by Billie Eilish: Chapter 57. Still about Eris, but also Cassian. They can’t stand each other. So imagine the astronomical energy (inside of this bus lmfao) when Nesta comes in between.

“All About Us” by He Is We, Owl City: Chapter 57. Nessian dancing.

“Rock Bottom” by Hailee Steinfeld ft. DNCE: Chapter 58. This song is SO accurate. This is the moment I realized “That’s it. I think I can die happy now” and then I started crying. Nesta just thinking she’s not enough and she deserves to be with someone as ugly as she thinks she is. Cassian is like “shut the hell up, woman” and yeah. That’s the kind of energy and conversation I was waiting for.

“Stop Crying Your Heart Out” by Oasis: Chapter 58. Their life becomes brighter. They have to stop crying their heart out because of their fears and the emotions they keep trying to hide. They need to feel free and express all the love they can give to each other.

“Fade Into You” by Nashville Cast, Sam Palladio, Clare Bowen: Chapter 58. Finally the truth comes out and everything becomes real. Even if the song is pretty sad, the lyrics is just SO accurate and it describes the scene perfectly.

“I Miss You” by Adele: Chapter 59. Basically Nesta feeling needy ‘cause she doesn’t see Cassian for days, but it’s more than that. Pay attention to the depth of the song. It shakes you. And that’s what Nesta feels when she thinks of Nesta.

“Beautiful” by Christina Aguilera: Chapter 59/61. I want to dedicate it to my favorite girls in this book: Nesta, Emerie and Gwyn. They’ve been through a lot but they also learnt to face their fears. And they realized that unity is strength.

“Smile” by Uncle Kracker: Chapter 62. Cassian’s sooo happy to be with Nesta it breaks my heart. And his own too.

“Broken Pieces” by 5 Seconds of Summer: Chapter 62. Aaand here we go again. Cassian just wants Nesta to give him the chance to be happy with her.

“Carried Away” by H.E.R.: Chapter 62. Nesta thinks they got too carried away and now they’re at a point of no return. She opened herself to him too much. It’s not like she regrets this but she understands that now everything’s too real and changing. She doesn’t feel ready.

"What’s Up?” by 4 Non Blondes: Ending of Chapter 63. Okay, I’ll make you laugh but this is me after reading it. I needed to put a song about how I felt when I read this freaking ending, after all the devastation Chapter 62 brought into my heart. And the fact that Nesta’s 25 and the first line begins with “25 years”... I DIED. Also I think of her just screaming to the word “WHAT’S GOING ON?!”.

“Sisters Are Doin’ It For Themselves” by Eurythmics ft. Aretha Franklin: Chapters 64/65/66. DO I NEED TO DESCRIBE IT? NAH, I DON’T THINK SO. THESE GIRLS ARE POWERFUL, STRONG AND SMART AS HELL.

“Run The World (Girls)” by Beyoncé Chapters 67/68/69/70. The girls want to win and they’re going to conquer everything with no mercy.

“Puppets” by Depeche Mode: Chapter 71. Eris impotence t is heartbreaking.

“Warriors” by Imagine Dragons: This song is for every character. It’s about Nesta, Emerie and Gwyn, but also Cassian, Azriel and Eris. They’re fighting different battles and they’re doing it with every ounce of power they have.

“Emperor’s New Clothes” by Panic! At The Disco: Chapter 74. Nesta kicking Briallyn’s ass.

“Survivor” by Destiny’s Child: This song is dedicated to Emerie and Gwyn. They spent all their lives learning how to survive. At the end, they finally won.

“Set Fire to the Rain” by Adele: THE Nessian Anthem. I put this here ‘cause FINALLY they’re endgame. But something bad’s about to happen...

“Cancer” by My Chemical Romance: Chapter 76. This chapter’s been the hardest one to face. I had to put the book down for a minute and breathe. I know this song made you panic and ow you know why I chose it. I can’t stop crying thinking about Feyre in those conditions and all the IC and her sisters surrounding her. I’m still so heartbroken.

“You Saved Me” by Skunk Anansie: Chapter 77. Nesta cares about Feyre. She’s her little sister and she just can’t let her die like that. She gave her a happy ending even if Nes had to lose almost every ounce of power she had and learned to accept. But they’re worthless in comparison with her sisters life. She just loves them both. She’d do anything for them and this scene proves it.

“Lean on Me” by Bill Withers: This song is about friendship and sisterhood. Nesta’s relationship with Gwyn and Emerie, but also with Feyre and Elain (and lowkey Rhys). Also, I dedicate it to little Nyx, too. They all love you, babyboy, and would do anything for you. Welcome to this chaotic world, kid!

“Sorry” by Halsey: Chapter 78. These are not explicit apologies. Nesta doesn’t need to say “sorry” vocally. She already demonstrated it. Her actions speak louder than words and her sister know it. This song is not about a “romantic lover” but a “person who loves” and they all love too much and strongly.

“Amazing” by Aerosmith: WE FINALLY SEE THE LIGHT. This is the happy ending they deserve (but the cliffhanger is killing me tbh). It’s about everyone in this book. I put it in the playlist ‘cause at first I thought it could refer to Azriel and Cassian. But the more i listened to it, the more I realized it just describes every single character.

“The Reason” by Hoobastank↓

“this is me trying” by Taylor Swift: Both the songs refer to Chapter 80. Nesta visiting her father’s grave is one of the first steps to finally go on. The songs represent what she really wants to tell her father. He’s the reason to start over. And she’s trying. Even if she made mistakes she’s ready to fight for the happiness and love she denied herself years and now she knows she deserves it.

[mannien]

Mornings in Sheffield Park | TH - CHAPTER 1

The one with stress, takeout food around the world, late night walks, and Disney dreams.

Word count: 6.6k 

Warnings: some stress, some anxiety, mention of sex, and a lot of smiles

Masterlist

Fourth week into the morning pitch meetings at BBC, Millie felt lifeless and drained. The room was usually exploding with ideas, creative energy, and a lot of constructive feedback to the few interns who were allowed to join the conversation with editors, writers, and producers. That morning had started ugly enough for her: with an overwhelming number of e-mails about the schedule and missing content for Politics Live.

When she first landed her spot at BBC, Millie was over the moon. She was constantly calling it a dream come true, a once in a lifetime opportunity for her to begin a writing career in media. Her degree seemed to be the best choice for her future and Millie was ready to prove that graduating from humanities can actually land her a decent job. Her first days were filled with morning preparations, early commute to the city centre and exceptionally smoothed out shirts. The work environment in such a fast-paced industry felt inspiring and daunting at the same time, but Millie felt obligated to use this experience to its full potential. Each day she attempted to learn more than the day before and possibly show off a tiny bit more of her creative skills to her superiors. She spent her evenings researching topics and people, trying not to fall out of the loop. Being one step forward was hard work, one that Millie desperately wanted to ace.

The second week of her internship brought a slight shift to her agenda. After grasping the general concepts of working for a major radio and TV broadcasting company, she was aware of the production processes. She tried to happily follow up all the details about the work of a writer, a researcher, or an editor – just so she could be prepared for the follow-up of the introductory week. And as she hoped her interview was remembered and she would soon contribute to any program touching upon music or pop culture, her dreams and calls were slowly fading away. The intern manager ascribed her to the team devoted strictly to politics and daily news, having no vacancies for the popular radio programs. Even though she took whatever spot was offered, it was only to get more insight and experience.  

Having already managed to speak up a few times during the morning routines in the conference room, Millie eased herself into the work environment and was treated like a regular employee. But the first wave of success quickly passed, especially when she was hit with growing emptiness in her brain. She did not enjoy politics, so as far as she could, she attempted to sneak in a sociological aspect into the context. But her tactic had an expiration date.

A couple of heads were expectantly turned at Millie when she was unsurely stuttering her weak ideas for the upcoming programme. She knew it wasn’t going well and she was mentally cursing herself for trying to impress the producers that much so early on.

“This isn’t gonna work. We’ve covered this enough in the evening news. Let’s take five, and maybe you’ll come up with a different angle. I’ll give you another shot here.”

Hugh, the head writer took off his glasses and watched her fidget in her seat. She nodded and took a deep breath, before leaving the room for a short break. Her mind was racing in panic; she wasn’t ready to admit that she didn’t have any idea. She walked back and forth through the corridor until she cursed quietly and walked away to the main hall. She pulled her phone from the back pocket and without overthinking this anymore, she called her boyfriend. He picked up after the third ring.

“Babe, can I call you back…”

“No, Frank,” She felt determined and fierce. Her hands shook from the pure view on board members slowly coming back from the kitchen with fresh coffee mugs. They were probably waiting to hear her another take on the TV show which Millie, wholeheartedly, was beginning to hate. “My work on the programme is too basic and I’ve been roasted for the past fifteen minutes or so. Hugh has me in the spotlight in front of everyone. Help me, please?”

“It’s not your fault they’ve given you a job you’re not good at, babe. It’s just an internship, they will roast you anyway.”

Millie’s lungs were ready to stop working and suffocate her. She feared she might start hyperventilating, or at least meet up with a panic attack from the nerves. Franklin’s reaction seemed to be absolutely unfair and inconsiderate of her actual feelings, and he must have felt that through the piercing silence on the line.

“Look, I’m sorry, but you shouldn’t worry so much about it. They will probably just give you another placement where you’ll fit more, I don’t see why it’s such a bad thing.” And just like that, she started doubting herself and her right to overthink her situation. It didn’t sit well with Millie and she could feel anger slowly making its way through her veins.

“Can’t you just fucking help me? This one time?” She lost her temper, she lost her patience. At the same time Riley, one of the end writers, started waving at her from the end of the hall as to show her that her time is coming to an end. “I need a hook, or something that would spark a debate. Brexit-themed, maybe. Can you think of anything?”

Frank groaned loudly. He wasn’t exactly happy that she made him break down his ambitious wall and let her in on topics he was too invested in. Millie could hear him moving around as he left his desk of the equally large office of The Guardian, until the line went surprisingly quiet. Her anger and fear made her clutch her phone tightly to her ear, while her legs started carrying her slowly to the terrifying conference room.

“Think internationally. See what the Spanish had to say about May’s resignation from the Office. Think economics in the EU. Try to stand on the Union’s side and do some fair judgement.”

“Give me facts, not ideas. You’re the one who knows politics.”

“Spanish government says that May’s resignation is bad news. Compare it to the popular opinion that she was the worst Prime Minister since the 18th century and the American war on independence.” Millie breathed in, trying to desperately grasp all the details he just provided her with.

“That’s a… harsh and history-digging argument,” She mumbled in surprise, “where did you get that from?” She grabbed a yellow post-it note from the reception desk and quickly scribbled the key words on it. Her briefing on politics was never something like this and she could feel the embarrassment making its way into her heart. It wasn’t her way of thinking and she felt like a fraud.

“I can’t tell you that.” By the end of the single sentence Millie could feel the blood escaping her face, making her look pale and scared for dear life. She didn’t want to have heard that sentence, she was definitely happier not knowing how did he come up with a story like this. That was one of the many reasons she tried not to talk business with him.

“An opinion entry. A column for The Guardian. Shit, you just busted one of your colleagues.”

“Sometimes I hate it that you’re smart. Did I ever tell you that?”

“You just saved my internship!”

“Please don’t say that. I will pretend that we just talked about the weather.”          

“I’ll spend them the details. You’re the best, Frank.”

“Alright, go kick ass.”

And that she did. Franklin did save her internship, mainly because Millie avoided the specifics about who and why said something so harsh about the resigning Prime Minister. However, it definitely did spark interest among the production board. Afraid of not being so lucky next time, she decided to politely suggest a replacement for her permanent internship division within BBC, due to her ‘personal discomfort with discussions over issues of such importance and potential shame to their glorious country.’

Millie felt bad for using her boyfriend’s knowledge for survival at work. She wasn’t genuine and her idea didn’t come from her hard work - it was sourced in fear and anxiety-driven reactions. This situation proved to her that she wasn’t fit for the position, but it also raised her stress levels around the fact that she couldn’t get by on her own in the industry. She didn’t want others to navigate her through it all, but the conversation she had with Frank had also made her uncomfortable. Her need of support in a stressful situation was primarily turned down, so—naturally to her character—she started to worry even more.

With a heavy heart and two bags of Wagamama takeout, she walked up the stairs to his apartment. She was usually working until later hours than Frank, so all she really needed was for him to open the door for her. She leaned on the doorframe as she waited patiently for the two turns of the lock. He opened still in his work attire – tailored jeans and a light grey button up shirt. He was holding his phone next to his ear and humming approvingly to the speaker when he looked her up and down. He winked at her and let her in, as he continued to talk with someone.

Inside, Millie found the TV turned on with a football game playing. His work jacket was still hanging on the back of the tall stool in the kitchen, and the grocery bags laid unpacked on the table. She took off her shoes and made her way to the kitchen, where she made a little room for their food on the countertop. Pulling off her sweater, she peeked into the shopping bags – she wasn’t surprised to find a couple bottles of beer and food essentials, a multipack of tissues and a large box of condoms.

“What’s all this, babe?” Franklin came up to her and briefly kissed her on the lips, before looking into the boxes with deliciously smelling food.

“I just thought it might be nice to eat some goodies,” She smiled, trying to sniff out his mood first. He smiled back at her with approval and reached for the plates in the cupboard, so she continued, “also, it’s a ‘thank you for being my saviour today,’ kinda thing.”

“Ah, yeah. I bet everyone on my floor will hate BBC’s guts for that.” Frank said it so casually, with a shrug to follow up, that Millie struggled to understand the dynamic he had at The Guardian. He seemed to be a great fit for his team, because a week into his new job, he was already invited for Friday drinks and talked about his co-workers just like anyone would about their long-time friends. She couldn’t understand how was he getting so lucky at any step, but the last thing she wanted to do is doubt him. Any time worries and competitiveness clouded her brain, Millie was making extra room for compassion and support.

Frank unloaded some of the curry on his plate and started eating with a fork, and then made his way to the living room where he spread out on the sofa. He didn’t say anything else, somewhat scaring Millie that he will let her know he’s uncomfortable randomly, on a promisingly good day. Trying to figure out her brain, she followed his actions and took some extra food to the coffee table, before sitting down next to him.

“But you’re not gonna get into trouble for that, are you?” she was biting the inside of her cheek hard, definitely not used to not being judged for using someone else’s help.

“Nah, I don’t think so. They don’t know I’ve got a girl at BBC, so I should be just fine.”

Millie ate her curry in silence, suddenly at loss of words driven by his surprising statement. She didn’t want to raise an argument or seem overly sensitive. But for some reason she hoped that he would talk about her at work, especially considering his already formed strong bonds in the office, and a definitely higher success rate in his position. Ever so charming Franklin, he always glowed among people. She couldn’t really fight with this, so she just kept any comments to herself and focused on her food.

Frank switched the channel to the evening news and pulled her to his side once they were done eating. It comforted Millie to know that at the end of the day, they could both enjoy each other’s company, no matter what was happening at work. She didn’t pay much attention to the news, but rather focused on the way he reacted to it and what he enjoyed. She felt too tired to get invested in another load of politics, so she just soaked in his warmth and curled more into his side. He smelled of coffee and heavy, musky cologne that he liked to reapply frequently. Millie closed her eyes and breathed out the stress that weighed her down after a long day, finally finding peace.

“I’ll go grab a beer, you want one?” he abruptly stood up, making her slightly loose her balance and lean back towards the pillows. She closed her eyes and pressed her lips in a thin line.

“I’m good, thanks.”

“You sure? You’re awfully quiet today.” He spoke already from the kitchen, not even catching a glimpse of her pursed lips.

“I just need to wind down. It’s been stressful day.” She pushed a little smile on her cheeks as he came back with a frown. He took a few large sips of his drink and put it on the table, before lowering himself on the couch and leaning over Millie.

“I can help you relax, if you want.” He raised an eyebrow in a flirtatious manner, leaning into her and leaving a series of delicate kisses on her lips. He then moved onto her jaw and sucked on her skin, but never left a mark. Slowly massaging her waist, he slid his hand under her shirt and sprawled his fingers across her hip to pull her closer.

Millie enjoyed the warmth that started to spread through her body, but she couldn’t find any energy to give some of it back. She felt drained and exhausted, so a mere thought about participating in sexual activities was sure to make her at least slightly uncomfortable. Unless Frank was willing to change something about it.

“Okay, hold on,” her chuckle and a light push at his chest made him narrow his eyebrows in confusion, “I don’t think I’ve got enough energy today, Frankie.” Her whisper was followed by a reassuring smile. She weaved her fingers through his short hair and kissed the tip of his nose.

“What if I provide you with some energy first?”

“What, you’ll give me an energy drink?” She laughed at her poor joke and he chuckled, too, but more at her silliness than anything else. He laid her down comfortably and cautiously peppered her with kisses on her neck and the tiny bit of cleavage that was available without unbuttoning her shirt. She was slowly giving in, allowing him to get lower on her body and touch her. Frank either wanted to make her feel better, or was really horny. But whatever the case was, she didn’t want to stop him and ruin his enthusiasm. The glow in his eyes and admiration painted across his face were too intoxicating to back away. His touch was filled with sparks of emotions and a kind of drive that Millie was addicted to. She felt wanted and needed, and that’s what made her return the heated kisses despite her hooded, weary eyes.

They walked hand in hand through the chilly evening, sometime after she persuaded Frank to walk her to the nearest tube station. The wind was slightly tickling her neck, but other than that she felt at peace. She let her hair down, flowing gently with each blow of the air and lightly caressing her face like a safety blanket. They swayed their hands until they had to make room for a group of people passing by.

“Jane texted me about a little get together this Friday,” She mumbled into the night, trying not to disrupt the peaceful atmosphere around them.

“Ah, yeah. Aaron told me about it, too. I guess we’re going, right?”

“Yeah, it might be nice. The girls mentioned this new club near their apartment? I think that’s where they wanted to go.”

“Cool. I could use a little break.”

As they continued their walk, Millie mostly focused on leading the way through tight London streets. Franklin’s parents rented him an apartment in the city centre, close to everything you could dream of in London. It also meant crowded streets at any hour, so to have a nice walk around the neighbourhood usually requested it to be late at night. But it didn’t matter to him, as long as he had a short commute to the office and all other things that life requested from him, within reach. There were times when he would mention coming back to Manchester and supporting his parents at their law firm, but Millie saw how much he preferred his growing career as a journalist. Mathilda and William were a generous couple, so they shared their resources with him and tried to help him get into the business as smoothly as possible. Sometimes she wanted to ask him about his permanent position at The Guardian and whether his name had anything to do with it, but she never felt comfortable enough to do it. Some things were better left unspoken.

Reaching the staircase to the station, Franklin stopped and made her turn to him and look up at his smiling face.

“Thanks for coming over tonight. I had fun.”

“Yeah, me too.” She smiled shyly, nodding her head in reassurance.

“I wish you could finally move to the city, though. It would be so much easier if you were a few blocks away.”

“You do realize that even if I moved out, it wouldn’t be anywhere nearby?” Her chuckle resonated through her body, almost as if she wanted to humour herself at the topic that had started to come up more often in their conversations.

“I could ask around the office if anyone has a room available to rent.”

“But I don’t want to share my personal space with strangers, you know this. Don’t try to change my mind about it.” She smiled tightly.

Frank has been trying to persuade her into moving out for months. He wanted to be closer to her, within a short train journey, rather than a whole commute in and out of Kingston. He felt comfortable in the business of London, and Millie liked to call him out on being spoiled by having an apartment on his own in such a lively part of the city. But she wasn’t financially ready to leave her family home in equally comfortable Southwest London, where she had all she needed within her reach, and her social life was just a tiny bit longer train trip away. It was a source of their small disputes from time to time, because it was Millie who spent more time on going to his place and spending time there. Naturally, it made her feel more engaged in their relationship and Frank tried his best make up for the difference. But one thing that never occurred, was Millie staying over for longer than a night. Even a night’s sleepover was a rare event, somehow always blessed by excuses from either one of them.

“You’re right, I’m sorry,” he pecked her lips and brushed her cheek with his thumb. “I talk about it out of concern, okay?”

“Okay. But I like my train rides and I like Kingston. So let’s just deal with it for now, yeah?”

“’Course,” He sent her a tight smile before giving her one last kiss. “Text me when you get home.”

“Will do.”

Millie was one of those people who could be easily judged as thinkers. Years of taking trains and buses in and out of central London taught her to cherish every moment of peace she gets during her journeys. That’s how she learned to create playlists for each season – summer commutes were always different than autumn ones; they required different sounds and lyrical quality. Intense months during university semesters also showed her how to read fast between the stops and how to juggle standing on the tube and holding an open book without falling, as the train slowed and rushed every few seconds.

As she was approaching her station in Kingston, she stopped the music but kept her earphones in. A bunch of other people was hurrying to get out of the train and get home as soon as possible, but after leaving the station, she would have a lonely 15-minute walk to her neighbourhood, so she always tried to stay alert in the evenings. Getting on the sidewalk in the busiest area of Kingston, she closed her book and put it back in her backpack, pulled the jacket tighter around her middle and continued her steady walk.

The air was getting crispier with each minute outside. It was refreshing and calm, disturbed only by a few laughs from the pub across the street and two cars passing her by. She turned into one of the quieter streets, where the buildings were becoming shorter and more separated from each other. Brick fences and trimmed hedges adorned the concrete sidewalks on both sides of the street, illuminated only by a few lanterns. Most of the light was coming from the windows in a row of semi-detached houses that Millie has known for a good chunk of her life.

Right when she wanted to cross the street and take a right, she heard a subtle clicking of a dog collar and a leash. Soft padding from the back was slowly approaching her and becoming louder, as well as someone’s whistle.

“Tess, come here!” a hushed call didn’t disrupt the peace of the night, but rather added the familiarity that Millie adored. She slowed her walk and turned around, just in time to be met with lightly jogging blue Staffordshire Bull Terrier. She panted lightly with her tongue out and reached Millie’s legs, where she tucked her head and mewled timidly.

“Oh, and who do we have here?” Millie chuckled at the dog’s persistence in keeping close. She scratched her head and patted her on the back, “are you on your evening walk, Tessa? Is that right?”

“We didn’t mean to scare you, Millie,” Dominic reached them and sent Millie a kind and apologetic smile, “good evening.”

“Hi, it’s good to see you.” She beamed at the middle-aged man, whom she learned to adore like a family member.

“Likewise, yeah. Heading home?”

“I am, just got off the train.”

“We will keep you company, then. Is that alright?” He fixed his glasses and leaned down to attach the leash to Tessa’s collar. Millie’s insides warmed and her mind calmed down at the idea that she will get to spend a few minutes with a friend.

“Absolutely, thank you.”

“Ah, don’t mention it. I bet Tom would have my head, hadn’t I offered,” they chuckled at the mention of his son. Their laughter died off comfortably and escaped into the night air, while Millie reminisced about the caring nature of the Hollands. “How is it going at BBC?” he asked after a moment, letting her go first through a narrow passage.

“It’s… going,” she smiled shyly, not sure how to dress up her words. In Dominic’s company she always felt one step behind in her creative skills; his writing and comic abilities exceeded her capabilities, or so she thought. “but I feel like I’ve definitely hit an end with politics. I know it’s only been a month, but it’s just… it keeps on proving that I should be writing about something else.”

“Oh, it’s totally understandable. Rest assured, you’re not the only one stuck like this,” They turned the corner onto her street. “but I wish you luck there. They have some sensible editors, so I assume you’ll get a chance at something else as well.”

“I hope so. Today I asked them about switching departments and the intern manager told me she will think about it, so there is a tiny light.”

“Something will always work out. You’re smart, you’ll find your way there.”

Dom and Millie continued down the sidewalk, until Tessa stopped near the gate to Millie’s house. She sniffed the pavement and turned back to the girl who crouched down to pet the Staffy one last time.

“Thanks for walking with me,” her smile was genuine, coming straight from her heart. “please say hi to Nikki and the boys. Is Sam still home?”

“He is, he starts his practice at the end of June. So, we all will be here to celebrate your birthdays.”

“Oh, that’s great! It’s been a while since we’ve all been together.”

“That’s true. But you’re welcome to stop by anytime.”

“I know, thank you.” With fondness painted across her face, she scratched Tessa’s ear and stood up straight, reaching for the keys in her pocket.

“Have a good night.”

“You too. Bye, Tess!”

Whenever she got the chance to interact with someone from their family, Millie instantly felt their love and care penetrate her straight to the core. It was this kind of relationship that had been built through the years, only making it stronger and bringing it closer to the concept of family.

Nikki, Dom’s wife and Anna, Millie’s mother met shortly before Millie and Tom were born. At first only neighbours, soon they became best friends to the point of engaging their families in a kind affair. Greetings at the doorstep turned into late night family dinners and weekends away with the kids. They were used to spending most of the birthdays and holidays together, especially when Millie and Tom’s birthdays two days apart brought them all closer. She raced her best friend in Anna’s womb and came out to this world right before the brown-haired boy. Ever since the Beavers celebrated the birth of their third and youngest daughter, the Hollands began their journey with four boys. They always stayed close and treated each other like family, deeming it necessary to nourish their friendship and turn it into something everlasting. The example of their parents taught Millie and Tom to mimic the closeness and made them create their own little world.

Millie’s older sisters also treated Tom, Harry, Sam and Paddy like brothers, but not as much as Millie did. Samantha and Liz were already grown toddlers when the families got together, so they figured more as the female patrons of their youngest sister and her adventures with the boys. But Millie and Tom’s friendship turned into something so effortless and harmless that no supervision was necessary. They were each other’s partners in crime, best friends from next door. Their mothers had signed them up for the same dance classes, helped them get to the same summer carnivals, and let them have late nights in makeshift dens. Millie was one of the first people their dog, Tessa, got familiar with. She missed him dearly when he started his journey as a young actor, but Nikki made sure he always made the time to call his best friend when the time zones were somewhat cooperating. They nurtured their friendship through Millie’s education and Tom’s career, not stopping even for a moment. He was there for her always, carrying her home when she scratched her knee after falling off the slings. She would help him with homework whenever he felt too embarrassed to ask his parents. Tom escorted her home from her disaster of a prom; he was the first one to understand her anxiety and help her through it. And Millie always read the books and scripts Tom needed to prepare for auditions. Just like that, they always found home in one another.

           Their house smelled of baking and freshly watered plants. As quietly as possible, Millie took off her shoes and tip-toed into the kitchen, turning on only the least invasive, small lights. She put down her backpack and lightly stretched, letting out a tired, yet content breath. Her eyes scanned the kitchen in search for the source of the sweet scent, and there it was, on a cooling rack in the corner, covered with a tea towel – fresh lemon sponge cake, the favourite of Millie’s mother. Lightly dusted with powdered sugar, it added an extra layer of sweet comfort to the late night’s atmosphere. She left the cake untouched, but put the kettle on to quickly make herself a cup of tea for a good night’s sleep. She let out an overwhelming yawn and rested her hips on the side of the countertop, patiently waiting for the water to boil.

           She felt her phone vibrate in the back pocket of her jeans. The brightness of the screen was almost blinding, until it adjusted to the low lighting in the room. She could feel the anticipation growing in the back of her head as she noticed a new message.

           (Tom) I got you something today

           After a second or two, a picture loaded under the message. Millie gasped and smiled like mad, when he showed her a pair of Minnie Mouse sequin ears. It was an artefact that Millie has always dreamt of, not having an opportunity to go to Disneyland ever in her childhood.  She awaited the chance with high hopes and wandering mind, but she knew the trip had to be thorough, well-planned, and wholesomely happy.

           (Me) You were in Disneyland????

           (Tom) yeah we did promo for spidey today 

           (Me) I’m so jealous rn

           (Me) THANK YOU FOR THE EARS!!!!!  

           (Tom) it’s alright

           (Tom) I didn’t get any weird looks at all

           (Tom) Just casually carried around this shiny sparkling beauty

           (Me) I bet you loved this feeling

           (Me) I bet you bought yourself a pair too

           (Tom) Don’t tell anyone

           (Me) You could always pretend they’re for Tessa

           (Me) I just saw her and your Dad btw

           Whenever her and Tom texted, it always sparked a never-ending conversation about sweet nothings. They mocked each other, talked about their days, spoke about all things home. It allowed them a safe space from their daily hustles; Millie was able to breathe lightly and happily, and Tom had a chance to detach from the world he desperately tried not to drown in.

           Almost spilling the tea, she slowly made it upstairs without losing the sight of her phone screen. She struggled to turn off the lights in the corridor without making a noise but somehow, she managed not to disturb her parents too much, as she reached her bedroom. Safe within her own little space, she put down the mug and let go of her backpack and jacket. She threw herself on the softest bedspread and waited patiently for Tom’s reply.

           The text bubble stopped and a massage didn’t appear, but her phone started ringing. Millie answered the FaceTime call and waited for the camera on his phone to adjust and show his familiar face.

           “I had a meeting with Disney and they want me to participate in one of their projects for a Marvel-themed ride at Disneyland,” from a crooked angle she could see his neatly gelled hair and uneven eyebrows. Tom was walking somewhere, but then sat down and perched his phone on the mug that stood on the coffee table, so that she could see him better.

           “That’s exciting, right?”

           “Oh, yeah!” She could see him rummage in a brown paper bag and pull out a box with some takeaway food. “But I’m telling you this because we could turn it into our Disneyland trip that you’ve wanted, right?”

           “That would be nice, yeah.” She smiled back at the screen, but a terrible yawn sneaked in to her expression. Tom scrunched his forehead and took a large sip from a bottle of water.

           “I didn’t wake you up now, did I?”

           “No, I just came back home. I am tired, though.”

           “Yeah? How was work?”

           “Stressful and not nice. It wasn’t a good day.”

           “Oh, I’m sorry. Wanna talk about it?”

           Tom spent the next minutes carefully listening to her words and trying not to spill his soup on his fresh clothes. He hummed to some of the stories and asked little intrusive questions, to get the whole picture. She kept rubbing at her eyes and stifling her yawns every now and then, at last making a mess of her mascara and getting it all over her skin. Despite the seriousness in her voice, Tom smiled fondly to himself at the view of her ruined face that probably mimicked her current mental state. It wasn’t something he should laugh about, but it was rather endearing to have her so comfortably sharing her lows with him, while he casually ate his lukewarm, very late lunch.

           “Why are you laughing at me?” She returned his smile, knowing it was probably something she did.

           “You made yourself look like panda.” He chewed on a chunk of chicken from his second plate. The wrinkles by his eyes deepened with each of her chuckles and proved to them that this is the lightness they need in their daily routines. “Well, it’s good you asked for a new placement. You should be comfortable in your work environment. I’m proud of you.”

           “Thanks,” she yawned again and stopped herself mid-rubbing her eye again, earning a wholesome, groggy laugh from her friend, “your dad thinks they will give me another chance.”

           “I mean, he knows some people there, so he probably has a point.”

           “Yeah, I just don’t want to get my hopes up too high, you know?” A comfortable silence rested between them after he nodded and continued munching on his food. Millie stood up from her bed and took the phone with her, but also started to slowly get ready for the night.

           “You will know when the moment feels right and shows you something worth a shot. Trust yourself, Mills.”

           “I guess…” she trailed off, making her way to the closet to find fresh pyjamas. “I’m glad my panda face entertained your… what is it, lunch break?”

           “Sort of, yeah,” he chuckled, enjoying the playfulness of her tired self, “I should be coming back in two weeks. We could hang out then, if you’ll have the time.”

           “Oh, for sure.”

           “Alright, I’ll let you rest. Text me anytime, yeah?”

           “I will. Thanks for the Minnie ears!”

           “You got it, Minnie Mouse. Sweet dreams.”

                                                          *  *  *

After her little mishap with Politics Live, Millie tried her best to keep up the hard work, but stay low. She tried not to focus too much attention and just assist other workers in their tasks, only coming up with ideas when necessary. She strived to come back to her public voice, but she knew she needed it to have a comfortable outlet, preferably in another setting and on different topics. She was greeting the intern manager with additional caution and kindness, trying her best not to leave her case forgotten.

Segregating files for the research team seemed to be the best solution to her temporary creative break. Her attention to detail and wholesome care about the task being done to its full potential came in handy. She volunteered to help the group of meticulously scribbling and researching men in keeping their documents in order.

The soft mumble of the radio in the background was interrupted by a guy named Tim. He always wore rock band t-shirts under his jackets and Millie swore she had seen him participate in a wild dance routine during the last year’s Glastonbury Festival. He stopped typing on his keyboard and started to quietly hum a song that was definitely different to what Scott Mills was announcing on Radio 1.

“Oh my God, do you guys know this song? I can’t get it out of my head!” he groaned in frustration, making a few people in the open space office chuckle.

“Do you know any words, maestro?” Millie’s head snapped up at the sound of Kim, the intern manager’s voice. She was passing by with a bunch of files and a coffee, before she perched herself on his desk, obviously making fun of her friend.

“It’s got this very cool, mariachi-like trumpet between the lines,” he mimicked a trumpet player and hummed some more, “and the guy sings something about stopping a feeling…”

“Justin Timberlake?”

“You know he’s not my jam, Kim! It’s an old-school song.”

“You’re the old-school one here.” Kim’s comment earned a couple more laughs at poor Tim, who was genuinely struggling. “you’re the researcher, have you googled it?”

“Of course I googled it, stop mocking me! People are watching.”

Their little light-hearted exchange brought a breezy atmosphere to the office and made Millie smile some more. She kept on looking up at Tim to check if he’s found the song he was looking for, but without luck. Her fingertips started to tingle with each swipe through the pages in a file, because she felt like she knew the song. Deciding to come against her decision to lay low, she gently cleared her throat and swallowed her nerves of speaking up in a new environment.

“Hey Tim, have you tried to find it on Spotify?” they both looked at Millie with playful smiles, as anyone would to the up and coming intern fresh out of university.

“I don’t think it’s the title of the song, so I won’t find it there.”

“But you actually could,” she offered, biting her lip nervously “since the recent update, you can now type in the lyrics into the search bar and the results will show you all licensed songs with the same or similar lyrics.” Tim instantly reached for his phone and started typing away.

“Oh really? I didn’t know that, let’s see…” Kim looked into his phone and watched his progress.

“And since you’ve remembered a catchy verse, it’s very possible that others also tried to find this song through the same words. So, it will probably come up within the first few results.”

“Alright, smarty.” He shook his head in amusement. Millie watched as Kim’s face got ridden of any emotion and just stared at Tim’s work.

“But if nothing comes up, you can always try ‘Hooked on a Feeling’ by Blue Swede.”

Millie waited with racing heart at their reactions. Tim clicked on one of the results and raised the volume, filling the room with a sound so familiar to Millie’s memory. She smiled shyly and internally patted herself on the back, before coming back to her task.

           “How did you know this song?” His triumphant smile was radiating, as he did a little dance in his seat and twirled on his rolling chair. “It’s such an old tune, I didn’t think your generation would know it!”

           “Yeah Millie, how did you know?” Kim encouraged his question and watched her carefully, almost as if she was studying her intern.

           “It’s in the soundtrack to Guardians of the Galaxy. I wrote a paper on it.”

           “Hm.” Kim’s unreadable expression was giving Millie chills, but in a positive way. She liked to be asked about things that interested her and prompted her to be creative, so the way this situation evolved was close to burst her heart into passionate flames. “I’ll ask the Radio managers if they want a music and pop culture geek, how’s that sound?”

           It sounded like Millie put the trust in herself at the right time.  

****

tagged: @peeterparkr @katieraven @kozybear@sunsetholland @hey-marlie @lauras-collection@cunaeparker @constellationsv @heyhihellowhatsup0 @spideyspeaches

If it bothers you that you’re tagged, please let me know!

[redhoodieone]

I Want to Suck Your “C”

A/N: Hiiii everyone! I haven’t written smut in so long, so I thought…what the hell? Write something dirty for the hell of it! So, here it is! Hope you enjoy it! P.S…if this becomes a big hit…I’ll write a Part 2 where Jason Todd returns the favor for the reader and eats her…you know…hahahha!!!!

Warnings: Smut…language…just filthy stuff.

Plot: Reader wants to suck Jason’s cock so bad. He doesn’t mind one bit. Once they’re alone in church, she shows him how much she needs him. Two horny teenagers in Catholic school give into temptation and they soon learn being bad is so good.

  I Want to Suck Your “C”

I know I shouldn’t be proud. This revelation should be a wakeup call to get help, or go all our church services to beg for mercy and forgiveness.

Because what would my parents say if they found out I was secretly a cock slut? What if they think if I just came right out and said I’m a cum slut...

For Jason fucking Todd.

Here I am, an eighteen-year-old who is about to graduate from St. Mary’s Catholic School, sitting in the church with my other classmates and listening to Father Peter telling us stories about...wait for it...

Temptation.

I silently whimper, wiggling my ass in my seat to properly pull down my plaid skirt to my knees, but the length isn’t as long as it should be. I swallow hard when I chance a glance at the other side of seats where Jason Todd is sitting with his friends.

For an eighteen-year-old boy, Jason isn’t like the other guys in our grade who still look like they’re growing out of puberty. Already taller than most boys, Jason’s body is as masculine as I could imagine despite always wearing his school uniform of gray slacks, a white button down, blue blazer, and blue and yellow striped tie. I can’t lie and say I’ve never noticed how his pants really define his rather large bulge and how his biceps flex every time he’s reaching out to throw a football on the front steps of the church before and after school.

And don’t get me started on his dark hair and blueish/gray eyes. The guy could be a fucking model when he graduates, but the sexiest guy in school has already claimed he wants to become a priest.

If Jason Todd really becomes a priest, consider me his devoted believer.

Or sinner...

I can’t really say that I disagree with Jason’s future plans considering I do know for a fact that he had a very rough past. Details about his upbringing and parents have never been discussed amongst us peers as Father Peters and our other teachers have told us Jason’s past will always remain a secret. But they couldn’t blame us for being curious anyways since Jason was brought into the church and school when he was just fourteen years old  after getting into dangerous trouble. Father Peters actually saved Jason’s life, and in a way, he gave Jason a second chance at life.

And he gave him a home here in the church.

Maybe that’s why Jason is dead set on becoming a priest...maybe to help others and give them a second chance at life.

I’m completely staring at Jason now. He’s facing forward, listening to Father Peters ramble on and on, while I’m imagining the ways I would commit sin and give into temptation to Jason Todd.

I would suck his cock.

Fuck that. I WANT to suck his cock.

Damn...I bet Jason has a big, heavy, thick cock.

I mean, his hands and feet are huge, and I overheard from some other girls that the size of hands and feet could confirm boys’ dick sizes.

Even my best friend Bree had said her boyfriend Ryan’s dick size was accurate from just the size of his big hands and feet.

My mouth waters from just thinking about Jason’s cock. I bet if I sucked him hard and swallow his dick good that he’d shoot his hot, delicious cum down my throat and have such an amazing orgasm all because of me.

But then to my horror, Jason turns around in his seat and spots me staring at him like a psychotic, creepy stalker. Embarrassed and wanting to die in this church, I slowly sink in my seat and force my eyes away from him.

What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I suddenly losing my cool? How in the world could I be so fucking horny?

True, as a Catholic teenager, I admit I haven’t ever engaged in any sexual activities because of my vow to wait until marriage. But just because I’m saving myself until marriage doesn’t mean I have to ignore and suffer through the agony and war of my sexual urges. And it’s simple: I masturbate.

Most of the time it works. I’m no stranger when it comes to massaging and pinching my sensitive nipples or finger fucking my pussy until I literally explode through my wet release. But lately my uncontrolled horniness seems to be coming from my longtime crush Jason who has lately been hanging around my inner circle.

True, we do have mutual friends and we are in most of each other’s classes, but I can’t help but wonder why. Why is Jason always close by? Why does Jason always look like he’s watching out for me when I’m by myself?

And why is Jason staring at me right now during our church service?

From just the corner of my eye, I can see Jason staring at me with an unreadable expression.

Is he mad at me for staring at him first?

Is he wondering what my deal is?

Is he trying to tell me I need to get help or he’s going to file a restraining order against me?

The church bell soon rings, and we’re all dismissed to go home.

Standing in the hallway just outside the church doors, I slide my messenger bag over my shoulder. I then notice everyone had quickly taken off to go home. Skipping my way down to the doors, a hand grabs a hold of my elbow and tugs me backwards until my back hits against a strong chest.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

Jason Todd.

I would recognize that deep, addictive, and unforgettable voice anywhere. 

I initially freeze. Is he really talking to me right now, after I made a complete idiot of myself for staring at him like he’s some sort of expensive prime rib?

“I said, where do you think you’re going, Y/N?”

I’m suddenly being turned around to face him. His hands move up from my elbows to my shoulders. I’m able to finally see how serious he is and how he wants me to answer to him.

So, I look up at him and squeak an answer out like a mouse because I apparently can’t speak like a human being. “Home.”

Jason raises an eyebrow. “You’re really going to go home right now?”

His hands are still gripping me, and I swear his fingertips are rubbing hard through my blazer so I can feel him touching me.

“Well, everyone else has gone home so...I have to go, too,” I answer weakly.

Jason licks his lips and instantly smiles down at me. “That’s a shame...because I thought you wanted to stay behind and explain why you were staring at me like you wanted to eat me.”

You mean, eat your cock. I think to myself.

“About that, I’m really sorry I was doing that to you earlier. It was...very creepy of me to do that,” I apologize, feeling more embarrassed about how stupid I am, and how I can’t handle this stupid crush I have on him. “I won’t do it again. I know it bothers people, and I-I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“But you didn’t make me feel uncomfortable,” Jason speaks out fast and stares into my eyes. His pupils are blown. “In fact, you made me feel like you wanted to do something...”

“Something?” I whisper.

Jason leans in closer to me. I can feel his hot breath on me. He smells so fucking good. He must be wearing a woodsy type of cologne, and his breath smells minty from chewing gum earlier.

His lips practically touching mine, but there’s still that thin open space between us.

“Yeah...but what? What were you wanting to do...to me, sweetheart?” Jason whispers.

“I wanted to suck your cock.”

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!

DID THOSE FUCKING WORDS JUST LEAVE MY FUCKING MOUTH?!?!

Holy shit, Y/N!

I stare at Jason; horrified and humiliated at how blunt I am, how I can’t keep my sexual thoughts to myself, and how I’m going to have to change schools because of this!

Jason is going to hate me now. Any chances I had with him before graduating school are now gone.

I need to leave. I need to get the hell out of here now. I need to leave town.

I force myself to look up at him after having my eyes shut tightly in fear from what I did. But Jason’s eyes are not angry. He doesn’t seem offended or even weirded out.

In fact, Jason looks...horny.

His eyes have darkened, and his pupils are huge. His hands grip my shoulders tighter and I can see he’s breathing kind of hard; almost restraining himself.

“I’m sorry. I’m so-so sorry for what I said. Please. Please don’t hate me,” I plead, after noticing he hasn’t moved or said a word to me. “Let’s just pretend this never happened. Okay? Let’s just pretend I never said that and I never meant it.”

I expect Jason to leave now. I even expect him to tell Father Peters what I said.

But no. What Jason does next is something I could have never imagined.

“No.”

I blink a few times. “Excuse me?”

“I said no. No, I don’t want to pretend this never happened.”

“But...but I seriously made you uncomfortable. I know you don’t like me, but-”

“That’s bullshit! Of course, I fucking like you, Y/N! I’ve always liked you!” Jason snaps, obviously angry at me for a reason. “Why do you think I’ve been hanging around you more? And don’t tell me it’s because of our friends, because if you watched me more, you would see I was the one staring at you the whole time.”

I softly smile. “Really?”

“Hell yeah, Y/N. You’re so fucking beautiful, and that completely confuses the shit out of me that you can’t or don’t see that.”

I open my mouth to speak but Jason beats me to it again.

“I want to eat your pussy.”

My eyes widen at Jason’s confession. I don’t know what startled me more: Jason having a dirty mouth and swearing, or him actually admitting he wants to go down on me?

Maybe both.

I feel like I’m dreaming. I’m probably asleep in the church from earlier. Oh yes. I fell asleep during Father Peters’ story.

Jason pulls me towards him until our bodies touch. I feel his lips against my ear. “Is that something you’d want, Y/N? Huh? Is that something you’d want me to do to you?”

I feel my pussy tingling with excitement. I know I’m getting so wet in my panties. I rub my thighs together but unknowingly rub myself against Jason during the process.

“Do you want me to eat that delicious, wet pussy of yours?” Jason whispers to me.

“Only if I can suck your cock, Jason.”

Jason quickly pulls back to look down at me with such heat and adoration that he kisses me hard. He wastes no time licking and nibbling my bottom lip for me to open my mouth. His tongue searching throughout my mouth, rubbing against my tongue, and just swallowing each other’s moans is everything I’ve ever dreamed of.

Breathless, we pull away from each other; but not for long.

“Father Peters won’t be back for another half hour. Let’s go to the church.”

Not even a second to think, I agree with Jason’s suggestion. We need to be alone now.

Jason takes my hand and leads me into the dark silent church. We stand behind the alter where no one could see us unless they turned on the light. But with the sun still out for another hour, we could see each other just fine.

He quickly brings me close to him so our bodies are touching. He slams his lips against mine and we fall back deeply into our kiss. I can feel his hands running down my shoulders, down my back, until he grabs a hold of my ass with both hands.

I moan into his mouth. I allow my hands to rub his hard chest until I move my hands down his abs and eventually down to his crotch area.

I pull my lips away from his only enough so I can whisper to him. “I want to suck your cock so badly, Jason. I want to suck so hard. I want you to fuck my mouth until you cum. I want to taste your cum so much. I’ll swallow every single fucking drop until you can’t give me more. I just want you, Jason. I want every inch of your masculinity, please,” I plead like a desperate little slut. And I literally feel no shame or embarrassment now.

I can see Jason’s hunger for me in his eyes. He’s panting so much right now that I know for a fact this won’t last long.

“Fuck...doll. Are you my cock slut? Huh? Are you my cum slut now? You want my cock and cum, don’t you?” Jason asks me breathlessly.

I grip his tie so hard. I’m having the hardest time controlling myself until he gives me the green light. “YES! Oh God, yes Jason! I’m your cock slut! I’m your cum slut! I want your cock and cum so much! Please let me!”

Jason grins cockily and unzips his pants. “Drop to your knees, Y/N.”

I fall to my knees. Hard. But I don’t care. I’ll handle the pain because nothing is more important than Jason’s cock.

Unbuckling his belt, I waste no time pulling down his boxers until his long, hard, thick cock slaps against his stomach. I stare in amazement. It’s everything I imagined it to be. I quickly reach up to grab a hold of dick just so I can lick the tip, sucking and swallowing his precum like I’m drinking from a ripe peach.

“Oh fuck...Y/N,” Jason moans out breathlessly. His hand quickly runs through my hair until he’s holding a good handful of it to tug. “Suck my cock good, sweetheart.”

I moan from just the smell and taste of him. Despite the natural sweat of his, his scent is pure musk and it’s just...so Jason.

Jason is literally all man. And I love that.

I then lick his cock from the base back to the tip while looking up into eyes. “Go ahead, Jason. Fuck my mouth. Give me everything you’ve got.”

“Y/N...”

I wrap my lips around his cock while holding the rest I can’t fit into my mouth. Slowly, I begin to bob my head back and forth just to get used to Jason’s cock. I’ve never sucked a dick before so I just try to go along with what seems like could feel good and by the hot sounds coming from Jason.

Jason begins to pant hard; moaning every time I swallow his cock only to pull back and suck his sensitive tip just to get a response from him.

And that’s what I’m getting myself off on: Jason’s moans.

I grab a hold of his hips and begin to push him into my mouth: showing him he has my permission to thrust in my mouth. He starts off slow; gradually gaining speed when he sees that I can take his cock no matter what.

I could feel myself wetting more in my pantries. With one hand, I reach down under my skirt and rub myself against my underwear; feeling the juices I’m making because of this hot guy.

“Ah shit...oh fuck...Y/N,” Jason moans louder. “You suck my cock so good. Fuck...you like sucking my cock, don’t you? You like sucking my big cock?”

I nod my head and moan my answer; humming around his cock that vibrates and makes him whine.

God, I fucking love destroying this guy with my mouth.

I quickly glance up and see Jason with his head tilted back and eyes shut tightly when I begin to go faster. I start to jack him off fast, gripping his cock in a tight fist while sucking harder. I moan around his cock to encourage him to fuck my mouth with every hard thrust he’s giving me.

His hips colliding against me doesn’t bother me at all. The way his cock goes farther and farther into my mouth makes my eyes water, but his whiny moans and the thought of him cumming because of me is worth it.

I start to imagine Jason fucking my pussy. I imagine him fucking me with his deep, hard, and fast thrusts. I know he could make me scream his name and cum. I could cum right now just because of what I’m doing to him.

“Y/N...I’m-I’m gonna cum,” Jason moans and grips my hair tightly. He’s breathless. He’s whimpering because he’s going to cum hard. “Fuck...I’m gonna cum in your mouth. I wanna see my cum on your tongue.”

Just the thought of Jason cumming from me is what I want the most. I know once this is over that this can’t be the end.

It just can’t be.

Suddenly, Jason thrusts hard three times in my mouth; gasping and choking out my name as he cums hard into my mouth; spurting and coating my throat and tongue.

“Y/N...” Jason moans my name. “Fuck...”

It’s delicious. Jason gently pulls away from me as I sit up straighter on my knees and open my mouth for him.

There on my tongue. Jason’s cum. Hot and delicious, just for me.

“Fuck doll...do you like my cum? Does it taste good?” he asks, panting hard from his orgasm.

I swallow all of it. “I love it. It’s yummy.”

Jason’s eyes darken again from what I said. He growls. He immediately almost turns into a predator as he kneels down to the floor and crawls over to me.

Without any warning, Jason pushes me down onto my back. Lying down on the floor, he gets on top of me only to pull down my skirt and panties. I squeal when his hands finally settle on my hips only to hold me down.

My bare pussy is on display. Just for Jason.

 With a cocky grin, he looks into my eyes and licks his lips.

 “I want to eat your pussy.”

[sweetbunnykook]

Only You (8)

Word Count: 12,827 // angst (mention of physical abuse/harm, mention of child abuse/neglect, mention of forced pregnancy, mention of murder), smut (brief mention of cockwarming and masturbation), no fluff 

Photographer!Jungkook X Noona!Reader

Summary: Jeon Jungkook, your wedding photographer, helps you escape on your big day upon learning about a secret your groom-to-be kept hidden. You soon fall for this young, passionate photographer. However, you underestimated just how much he was willing to reciprocate that love. Maybe, you think, he’s loving you just a little too much.  

A/N: I’m so sorry this took FOREVER for me to write. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, please come scream in my inbox so I can scream with you! - 🐰

The red and yellow iron man figurine is snatched away from his clammy little hands, the harsh ridges of the plastic cutting across his palm to leave gashes that burned. Jungkook’s eyes are already glossy with unshed tears as he stares at the beloved toy in her grasp.

“Fucking useless piece of shit!” His mother screams, voice cracking as she throws the plastic figure at the man sprawled on the couch, a small pouch of belly fat pooling over his unzipped jeans. His dark disheveled hair and tattered clothing makes him look older than he actually is, earning a disgusted sneer from the woman. The head of the figurine hits the side of his arm but he simply glares at the child, and then at his wife, before turning away in silence. Iron Man lays on the dirty carpet, feet pulled apart, head dislodged from the neck.

“You think you’re the only fucking man in the world that works!? If I didn’t push out your bastard child, I would’ve left you years ago!”

Jungkook’s face scrunches into a frown, hiccupping as he gasps for air between sobs and hiccups. He knew he shouldn’t cry for the sake of angering his parents further but he couldn’t help it. Catching his mother’s attention, he steps back only for her to yank his small arm through the oversized superhero shirt and drag him across the living room. The child falls onto his knees, unable to help himself as the grip on his arms numbed his little hand in which he held his lunch bag.

“I’m sorry! Mama, I’m sorry! Mama!”

The soggy brown sandwich bag tumbles away from his grasp as his mother drags him into his makeshift room behind the sliding door of a storage unit. The shoebox-sized space is thankfully warm as it’s situated next to the hissing water heater. Jungkook’s mother pushes him onto the futon next to his school bag, empty cartons of milk, and mismatched socks.

“Don’t you dare make a fucking sound,” she spits, glaring down at the shaking boy who’d curled into the yellowed blankets in the corner. “You don’t want to upset mama, do you?”

Jungkook shakes his head, toes digging into the sheets below him. His ears are ringing, but he knew better than to disagree when her eyes become as red as the knitted dragon on his socks. Red means danger, red means silence.

The door slides shut with a bang and little Jungkook shakes and shakes, bent knees knocking into each other as cold sweat forms on his temples. He wipes his moist eyes with the back of his hand and curls into the corner, hunger pains wringing his stomach tight. He struggles to hold in his bladder and cries harder when he tremors once more and his pants turn dark with urine.  

The room gets darker, the house falls steadily falls silent, yet there is still no food offered to him. He doesn’t know how much time has passed as the only window in the room is nailed shut with wooden boards; only the small amount of sunlight shining between the rotten wood tells him when to sleep and when to dress for school. Looking at the dark gaps, he’s disappointed to find that it’s well past dinner time.

He can hear his parents screaming at each other between bouts of silence, their voices lowering gradually as exhaustion takes over them. He’s glad that at least he’s left alone. When the screaming ends, there is moaning, sounds of flesh against flesh, and silence once more.

They must have forgotten he hasn’t eaten, he thinks to himself as his frown deepens.  

Jungkook knows they are most likely asleep but he doesn’t want to risk disturbing the peace – the silence – that he can finally enjoy. If it weren’t for his hunger, he would be perfectly content staying still. He closes his eyes to the world and wishes on the lonely lightbulb hanging from the ceiling that one of his parents will awaken and at least take pity on him to throw the sandwich bag in the room. The roaches might have gotten to it first but he wasn’t in a position to complain.

Wiping away the dried snot on his face with the back of his hand, Jungkook looks up at the spotted roof and imagines a big studio like the one Iron Man has. When he becomes big and strong, he would have a drawer full of chocolates and another one full of clean and cool clothes like his classmates. He would be so successful and so cool that his teachers will fall to their knees and he will never have to do homework again. Even Iron Man will come knocking at his door to spend time with him – that’s how cool he will be.

Despite the growling in his stomach, Jungkook giggles softly. He discards his soiled bottoms away from the futon, being extra careful not to let the wetness touch his backpack, and lets his big shirt fall over his knees. He then rolls over to cushion his head with the back of his backpack. At least in his dreams, he lived well.

Some days are painful but some days should be better, he thinks.  

“It’s a miracle you survived,” Taehyung says one day as he hands Jungkook a bigger share of his rice ball. Jungkook rolls the sleeves of his black Busan middle school uniform up to his elbows, knowing the smell will be hard to get rid of if the loose seaweed falls apart in his hands like last time. The cheap tuna Taehyung stuffed it with smelled like gasoline and they made it a habit to hold their breaths as they chew. The mayonnaise at least helps the mouthfuls of fish slide right down their throats. No matter how strange his lunch boxes smelled, Jungkook never complained.

“I hate them,” Jungkook whimpers as he chew, leaning the heel of his sticky palms against the wet boulder beneath as his older friend rubs the tender sores on his neck with a free hand. Several bruises trail down his spine and Taehyung knows there are more underneath the uniform. “I just want to get out of here.”

Their naked feet, exposed under their rolled pants, dangle from the sharp layer of rock and moss protruding from the side of the boulder. The sound of ocean waves drown their voices and they find themselves shouting over its volume. Jungkook jumps slightly when cold water splashes over his toes.

“We’ll go anywhere you want.” Taehyung stretches his neck from side to side to undo the knots, his steel eyes landing on the grains of dry rice rolling down the rock.

Jungkook looks at his dearest friend, truly look at him, and grabs another rice ball from the canteen. He coughs slightly when the tuna goes down the wrong pipe, taking a swing of the water bottle from his opened backpack laying at his feet. It was hard for him to sit still when Taehyung says such things so frivolously. In fact, Jungkook found himself annoyed – annoyed that these fantasies are way beyond his imagination and annoyed that Taehyung might not mean what he says and Jungkook is just waiting around for leftovers  like the rice ball in his hands.

Jungkook kicks the side of the rock as he licks his fingers clean, scraping his heel along the ridges back and forth. His bottom lip sticks out in a pout. “You’re going away to med school later too…we might not see each other even when you get to college. It’s like…ten years.”

Jungkook can just imagine it. Taehyung, the miracle from a small town in Busan who surpassed everyone with his razor-sharp intelligence and sly fox charms. He’ll walk up to a podium for a white coat ceremony to attend the nation’s best medical school. There will be cheers and flowers everywhere; he bet even the president will show up for the ceremony because Taehyung will represent the rags-to-riches fantasy everyone wants. He’ll go on to be a surgeon full of pride and joy. He’ll marry a naïve but rich girl from Gangnam who will pity his hardships and they’ll have five children together and live in a penthouse. They’ll live on the top floor where they can look down at the people passing by like they’re nothing but ants.

And as for him, he might still be sleeping in that same storage closet next to the hissing water heater.

“I’ll take you with me.” Taehyung pushes the half-full canteen towards the younger boy, giving away his share, and wipes his hands on his pants. There are three giant rice balls left and even some pickled radish at the bottom. The food offering doesn’t make the younger boy smile like he usually do, his brain is so full of worries it might explode.

Jungkook shakes his head at nothing. The future seems so, so far away, almost out of reach. He can barely image his life without Kim Taehyung, the only genius the sad little town has produced this generation who ironically became his best friend and caretaker. There’s been rumors that he’d skipped four grades and grew up speaking Cantonese just from watching films. Jungkook hasn’t confirmed these theories himself but he wouldn’t be surprised if it were true. He had a future as bright as the stars while Jungkook knew, deep in his heart, that his kind is bound to be in the sewers. He’s forever looking up at the stars that Taehyung can collect without lifting a finger.  

“I won’t burden you, Tae. I’m just trouble.”

“You’re not,” he runs his fingers through Jungkook’s dark cocoa hair with his damp fingertips. The younger boy trembles slightly at the feeling, kicking his feet to hide how much he’s enjoying it. “That’s what they want you to believe…but you’re not. We’ll get out of here together, I promise.”

“N-No, you have to go Tae,” Jungkook puts the rice ball back in the steel canteen set between them and turns, serious all of the sudden. His voice is cracking and his leg shakes up and down as he tries hard to control the rage and grief boiling inside him.

He knows what will happen. When Taehyung leaves, luggage in hand, to whatever top-tier college in the country with a full scholarship, he’ll end his life. He’ll take the kitchen knife and plunge it deep into his heart and bleed out in front of his sad excuse of a mother. His father can join in on the crying, or the celebration, over his corpse once he wakes up from a drunken slumber. Actually, they might not even notice he’s bleeding. With the piles of newspaper and dishes laying around, Jungkook would be nothing but bones underneath all that garbage by the time they discover his body.

Taehyung, gripping the hair above the nape of the boy’s neck, keeps him in place like a bothersome cub. “I won’t leave you, Kook. I swear on my life I won’t. When the time is right, we’ll get out of here together.”

Jungkook doesn’t reply immediately, weighing the sincerity on his ears. Feeling tears sting his eyes, he leans his forehead on the older male’s broad shoulders to hide his face and circles his arms around his biceps. Taehyung nuzzles his chin into the younger boy’s hair and smells the salt of the sea in his scalp.

“I’m useless,” Jungkook says at last. He’d decided that Taehyung was genuinely concerned about him after all and not showing off. Those words were not like the empty promises he’s heard many times growing up. “I’m not smart like you. I can deliver milk and newspaper and that’s about it.”

Jungkook rubs his cheek up and down Taehyung’s shoulder blade, scratching the little wound on his cheek until it burned. He can still feel the buckle of his father’s belt ripping a patch of skin off the top of his cheekbones. He had considered leaving that day without a dime to his name but knew better to stay.

Taehyung reaches behind him and tugs his backpack forward, choosing to instead comfort the boy through a gift he’s been wanting to give for some time. He shrugs Jungkook away, earning a pout as the boy wanted to hear more honeyed words of comfort. His irritation, however, is short lived when he sees a flash of onyx and silver in Taehyung’s hands. He watches as the film camera gleams under the tangerine sun, the cracks on the side oozing a type of charm only antiques have.

“This is grandpa’s camera,” Taehyung says as he sets the camera down on his friend’s lap. “I want you to take pictures of the things you love before we get out of here.”

It’s not a gift, but a promise.

“You’re giving this to me?”

He nods. “Don’t worry, he ran off ages ago. I wanted you to have it…I think you’ll like it once you get the hang of it. There’s already a roll inside, it’s half used. I know you wanted that camera from Mickey’s but…this is good enough for now.”

Jungkook’s cheeks turn bright red as he holds the camera in his hands, brushing his thumbs across the protruding lens and the square of white plastic in the corner. He didn’t realize that Taehyung paid enough attention to catch him staring at things he can’t afford. It was equally humiliating as it is flattering that someone notices his wants and needs. Although the camera in his hands is not as fancy as the one in the display cases, Jungkook is more than grateful for he would not be able to afford the basic point-and-shoot camera on a delivery boy salary.

He can’t help but think maybe this will be Taehyung’s final gift to him before he goes away. Maybe the older boy is just taking pity on him because attachment is an illusion that slowly dissipates as absence takes its rightful place.

That rags-to-riches fantasy happens to those who are smart and sincere like Taehyung and not to boys like him – boys who stupidly spend hard-earned money on Iron Man comic books despite needing money to escape.

“I can’t afford to buy film,” Jungkook complains because he knows he’ll burst into tears if he thanked Taehyung. He peers into the viewer with one eye closed. He takes a shot of the waves dancing under their feet. The cerulean blue, their tanned feet, the black rocks – he can already feel excitement bubbling within him when he’ll make the time to develop the roll at the school photography lab.

“I have a box of unused ones in the basement. I’ll dig it out for you later.”

“Mm…okay.”

He points the camera towards the setting sun, taking a snap just when two birds fly past him. The film inside clicks into place with a satisfying snap, making him giggle. He turns at the waist and points the lens towards Taehyung, who stares into the camera with a disinterested amusement that tugs Jungkook’s heart a little more than he feels comfortable with. To please the boy, Taehyung holds a peace sign over his cheek, shielding half of his face as his eye peers past the ‘v’ shaped fingers. Jungkook takes the shot.

“Happy?”

He giggles louder this time. “Very much so.”

Taehyung takes the camera away, enveloping his large hand over the boy’s fingers. He holds the viewer up to eye level, seeing Jungkook nibble on his lower lip. He knows what the boy is thinking. There’s no way he can look pretty with the wound on his cheek, with the purple bruise blossoming around his right eye, the chapped lips split open from his nervous gnawing. Sensing his discomfort, Taehyung reaches over with his free hand and tugs at Jungkook’s hair tucked behind his ears. His deep mahogany-black locks bounces forward like a curtain, shielding the injuries without effort.

“Perfect.”

The camera snaps once more.

*

You curse under your breath after splashing your face with cold water in the office bathroom. Work has been absolute hell in contrast to the newfound heaven at home with Jungkook. You swear there’s a force in the universe set out to get you; as one part of your life heals, another part has its wounds reopen. When Jin called in sick for a few days two weeks ago, you did not realize how different he was going to be when he returned. Something about the way he looks at you these days leaves you paralyzed, often times leading you to work entirely in your personal office instead of the open cubicle like you usually do.

You assume that perhaps there is something going on in his personal life that can explain his passive aggression towards you and your coworkers. Taking pity on him through your own self-talk, you complete his share of the paperwork without complaints for an entire week without earning a single ‘thank you’ or even a smile from him. He often walked back and forth in the hallway, dialing his phone with an aggression that leaves you wondering if the screen even works with how hard he’s pressing. Knowing he was the type of person to need distance during hard times, you didn’t push it.

That is, until he’s suddenly calling in the middle of the night and dragging you out of break rooms. The office is already short on staff due to Sora’s absence, you didn’t need to be reprimanded for laziness especially after you carried his entire workload and apologized on his behalf for mistakes in the software he was supposed to fix.

Honestly, you’re not sure why Jin is cold one moment, hot the next, and then absolutely boiling on some days. But you’ve had enough of it and you’ve reached breaking point today when you heard rumors for the first time that your department, usually praised for its performance, has too many unprofessional workers (it did not take energy for you to figure out people are talking about your little cat-and-mouse chase with Jin). Thus, it was a relief when your former assistant shows up at the office and gives you a break from the cycle of avoiding your childhood friend while saving whatever reputation you have left here.

Pleasant and giving as always, Sora brings sandwiches for the people in your department with no pressure to have the favor returned. It’s the first time you’ve seen your assistant since she took her maternal leave; you almost forgot about her despite receiving occasional updates about her condition and even yearning for her when Jin disappears from his cubicle or stares at you from across the room. To you, she’s one of the best persons you’ve worked with so far in your career. Although Jin is great at handling IT issues that arise too many times for you to wonder if the whole job should be thrown away, it was Sora who brightens the atmosphere with her rambunctious laughter and messy desk in which she was miraculously able to get work done at an unmatched rate. Sporting a small bump beneath her floral wrap dress, she greets you with a kiss on both cheeks.

As you take her in your arms, you peer at Jin leaning against the office fridge with arms folded. His public questioning about Jungkook stays fresh in your mind and everyone else’s as they quietly glance between you and him between conversation.

Almost every time he chases after you, the first words out of his mouth was your boyfriend’s name. It got to the point where you wish you’d wake up from this nightmare that will pass when whatever in his life fixes itself. You’re sure his irrational behavior, arriving from nowhere with the suddenness of a car crash, is coming from something else in his life. You are sure, one hundred percent, that this is the kind of asshole behavior that somehow manifested in your male peers back in college, not that you were ever on the receiving end of it. Until now.

Currently, Jin seems to be deep in thought, sporting dark bags under his eyes. His eyes meet yours momentarily before you pull back and gasp at Sora’s belly with the vigor of a seasoned actress.

“Why do I have a feeling you didn’t just come to bring sandwiches?” You tease while your coworkers chuckle, turning their heads towards you for a moment before turning back to their plates. There are only a few sandwiches left on the counter as you couldn’t leave a conference call until much later unlike others. Actually, it was the same conference call from the person who was disrupted when Jin pulled you out of the room for an “emergency” days ago. You were too angry to even listen to him then, and even angrier now that you’re here smiling after apologizing with a bow just moments before.

With the merry atmosphere dancing in the otherwise cold break room, even your boss sitting at the end of the table has a difficult time asking people to head back to their cubicles and corner offices.

“No, I came here because I missed you,” she squeezes your arms, dragging you softly towards the table scattered with sandwiches of all types. How unfortunate the lobster roll – your favorite – is all gone.

“Please,” you scoff and she laughs with that hearty, sweet sound you missed so much.

“Actually,” she begins, “I’ve been thinking of staying at home to be a mother.”

Your jaw hangs. “You won’t be coming back after this?”

Her face falls slightly at your question and you immediately shut all your thoughts deep inside. You don’t understand the first thing about being a mother. It’s only reasonable you hear her out first. From the corner of your eyes, you see Jin walk towards the coffee pot and pour himself a cup in his chipped mug that brings a spark of annoyance in your chest.

“I do,” she sighs, “but…I found out I’m having twins. Just last week actually. This entire pregnancy was a bit of an accident and I needed time to rethink my priorities. My husband is more than thrilled we’re having twins, you know how he is-“

You nod in sympathy.

“-but it’s difficult for me. I already have a toddler and now with two more…I thought about handing in my resignation soon. I just wanted to see you all one more time before I do.”

You place your hand on her back once you see the tears in her eyes, leading her outside of the break room and into the small walkway where sunlight from the open windows gives you a better view of her solemn yet saccharine face.

“You do what’s right for you. But I understand it’ll be difficult for you to get another job if you need one later with kids around. Have you talked it over with Alex?”

At the sound of her husband’s name from your lips, her cheeks redden slightly.

“He’s glad that I’m strongly considering staying at home. He always wanted to have a big family and we’re more than financially stable with his salary alone. It’s just…I’m going to miss work.” She looks up at you, eyes watering even more. “It feels like I have a family here. Especially you, I feel like I have the little sister I always wanted.”

“Oh Sora,” you sigh, bringing her in your embrace once more and letting her cheek rest on your perfumed shoulder. She inhales the scent of soft geranium and jasmine, letting it calm her anxiousness only further amplified by pregnancy hormones. If the rest of your coworkers found out how emotional she’s getting, they all will follow suit and cry along with her. “We’re still family whether you work here or not. I’m always a phone call away and you know the team will be here to help you if you need anything.”

“Thank you,” she sniffles, “I’m grateful…really, for everything.”

“It’s no problem at all,” you smile. “I can’t wait for the babies to arrive. From the bottom of my heart, congratulations on the twins, Sora. It’s such a rare and precious thing.”

She beams at you, eyes glistening, her smile stretching wider as she takes your hands in hers and gives them an eager squeeze.

“I don’t even know how to explain it. Just seeing the ultrasound for the first time was, god I wish you were there!”

“Me too,” you agree, turning your head to the side to see Jin peering at you from between the gap of the door and the column in the corner of the hallway.  “Alex must be so thrilled.”

She rolls her eyes. “He wouldn’t shut up about it. He’s baby-proofing the entire house right about now even though I’m not even due for another six months.”

You giggle with her, thinking back to the time you walked into your home to see Jungkook on all fours, rubbing sandpaper to the edges of your coffee table. It’s too dangerous, he said when you stand in front of him with a fist on your hip, you’ll hurt yourself. His strong arms bulge and flex as he works the wood with the ferocity of a mad man. You wonder if Alex is in the same position on the floor, religiously rubbing sandpaper back and forth against the corner of the wooden table.

“That’s so funny,” you muse. “Jungkook baby-proofed the house once and made a mess of the living room…and I’m the farthest thing from a clumsy child.”

Sora raises an eyebrow, elbowing you softly on the side. “Is he dropping hints? You have sex regularly, don’t you?”

“Shhh! Sora!”

She cackles as you turn back and forth between the open door and at her amused face.

“We’re not even married, or even engaged!”

“Well,” she shrugs. “Do you really need to be married to have a child these days? Men can have baby fevers way early in the relationship,” she muses, thinking back to her college days. She seems completely different from the emotional expecting mother just a few minutes ago now that men are the topic of the conversation. Classic Sora move. “I conceived my daughter just a day before Alex proposed.”

You blush, tucking your hair behind your ears. For a moment, you think of your picture-perfect boyfriend on his knees rubbing your lower belly and cooing with his ears pressed up against you. “I guess not but…Jungkook and I aren’t ready for that yet. At least, for the time being.” You shake your head dramatically from side to side, bringing your hands up to your face. “All this baby talk is giving me ideas I don’t like.”

“Alright alright,” Sora waves her hand back and forth like she’s swatting away a fly. “I won’t be one of those annoying office moms that constantly pressure people into pooping out kids.”

You laugh, leaning your back against the wall.

A coworker from two cubicles down peeks his head out the door and urges for Sora to come back into the room. From the ruckus, you can hear your coworkers fighting over the last few sandwiches in a game of rock paper scissors. It seems people are also curious about the picture of her ultrasounds – which you didn’t realize were there before – scattered across the lunch table.

Everyone except for Jin, that is.

You turn towards the door as she waves you off and staggers into the room, just in time to maneuver around Jin who walks towards you while closing the door behind him.

“I need to talk to you about something,” he pleads, peering down at you with a heavy, foreboding stare that wipes the remaining laughter out of your chest.

“Can we talk later?” You move to the side to walk past him, only to be blocked as he steps along with you. You really don’t want to deal with him today when you’re having a good time. You actually don’t want to deal with him at all, at your wit’s end.

“You don’t pick up my calls and you almost always leave before me, if not right away. When I ask, you avoid me.”

Every word out of his mouth is true and you feel sick being confronted with it all despite how valid your anger is with the way he seems to want nothing to do with you when he returned, then wanting to bombard you all five working days last week. However, you’re not sure if the sourness in your gut is regret or anger; regretful that you stayed away from Jin like your boyfriend asked or angry that he is slowly getting on your nerves with his recent behavior. Anytime Jin approaches, it’s never about work or even about your friendship and always about your relationship with Jungkook that he somehow sees as unhealthy and worrying.

“Sora is retiring, Jin. I want to be there for her.” You step around him, only for him to grab you by the elbow and drag you further away from the door. You push him away, glancing at the end of the hallway to see if anyone saw.

“What the hell happened to you?” Jin questions.

“No,” you whisper-snarl, looking back and forth from the door to your childhood friend. “What the hell happened to you? Why do you keep picking fights with me when you know I’m going to react the same way?”

He raises an eyebrow. “With you ignoring me?”

You can feel the anger in your veins making your nerves curl. For the past week, he had been insufferable. You’d never seen someone turn from a friend to a stranger so quickly after you have to bear the weight of his eyes following your every move, leaving you unable to do any substantial office work without errors. Even then, you assume he must have personal business to take care of and needed the well-deserved sympathy. After all, Jin has always been a hard worker and you’ve never once doubted his work ethic, especially in this company where he thrived from your recommendation.

However, his newfound aggression has you thinking back to your boyfriend’s warning about how little you know about men despite living with one. His glare sharpens every time you leave early to head back home or when you take a quick call from Jungkook during your lunch breaks. His eyes seem to follow you across the room as you move back and forth from the copier to your office. You think Jin would be over this little temper tantrum of his until, just yesterday, he’d thrown his cup of coffee in the break room sink while you were on the phone. The sound of porcelain meeting steel and the anger in his eyes was something you couldn’t forget about and in your heart you knew the fury extended past you onto your boyfriend waiting for you at home.

“I know you obviously have an issue with Jungkook.”

“So now you’re ready to discuss?”

“Discuss what?” You scoff. “You claim to be my friend who watches out for me yet you can’t even be happy that I’m finally with someone who cares for me. Jin,” you sigh in exasperation, “look, I know you let your paranoia or whatever get in the way but I promise you Jungkook isn’t a liar or a cheat like Namjoon. You’re overreacting.”

He crosses his arms. “Are you so sure about that?”

“About what?”

“Him not lying to you.”

You didn’t like how serious he looked at that very moment. You’d constantly teased about how his classic poker face he kept from his agent days is the reason why he’s been single since the day he was born. It’s a type of unique hardened face that intimidates anyone smaller than him. Now that this sternness is directed at you, you’re not enjoying a single moment of it.

“There’s no reason for him to lie to me.” You’re confident in that statement and he can sense it by the way your spine straightens and your eyes brighten.

It tugs his heart that you feel so strongly about another man when he knows the truth. It hurts him to know that you’ll be ruined by the files he received from Hoseok and Yoongi sitting in his flash drive. Above all, what hurts him the most is that he risked both of his former coworkers’ safety to verify his intuition, an intuition you easily brushed off to prioritize a months-old relationship against his life-long friendship to you.

On the other hand, you can’t fathom just how much Jungkook can possibly keep from you despite being the most sensitive and loving boy you’ve ever met. A little over two weeks ago, on your balcony, Jungkook had revealed everything you needed to know about him and the reason why he feels the way he feels. He’d trusted you enough to tell you something that affected him the most, that justified his habits you were once annoyed by, and that gave you the reason to become more than just his girlfriend. Sitting on his lap, kissing his scars, and listening to his words, you knew nothing can stop you from loving this boy you met under unwelcomed circumstances.

Really, it was ridiculous that you never noticed the signs before. Jungkook had always cowered to your anger, always the one to put your needs first before his, almost never raising his voice at you except for the few times you were oblivious to your surroundings and endangered your wellbeing.

And here, your friend, belittles you the longer he doubts the validity of your relationship with Jungkook.

Jin’s lips part but you manage to speak before him, stepping closer to him as you crane your neck to meet his unwavering gaze.

“I need to set this straight.” You put a hand on his arm. “I appreciate you as a friend, as someone who has been with me for a long time and looked out for me. I know you’ve always been good to me and I don’t hate you, even if I’m more than angry at you right now. I know you care a lot about the people close to you.”

You see him visibly soften at your words. The tender, loving expression on his handsome face makes you weak for a moment.

“But I need to draw a line here. I’m a woman who can make her own choices about what she wants. I don’t need you to be this…bodyguard stressing yourself to protect me from harm. I know what I’m doing and who I’m with. For god’s sake Jin, I’ve been living with Jungkook for months. If he’d somehow lied to me, I’d know by now. So please,” you beg, your eyes going back to the laughter coming from the closed break room door to your best friend’s piercing eyes. “Leave my relationship alone. Let me land on my feet after what Namjoon did to me. I’m,” you sigh, “so happy now. I’m at peace. So please…Jin,” you squeeze his arm. “Please. Can we just go back to being us?”

For the longest time he stays silent, his eyes moving across your face as if he’s looking for something important.

He finds his voice when you step away from him. “…I understand. I’m sorry…for making you uncomfortable. It wasn’t my intention.” He takes your hands in his. “I’m really sorry.”

You offer him a small, sympathetic smile and bask in the warmth of his palms. “I’m sorry too, for avoiding you when I could’ve said all of this earlier.”

“I just-” he starts and pauses.

Jin looks out the window, focusing on nothing in particular. He can see the top of trees and similar silver rectangle buildings reflecting sunlight. He watches a few cars drive past the swirl path leading to the parking lot situated around the main entrance of the building. He looks back down at you.

“I actually wrote everything I wanted to say and…I was too chicken shit to read it out loud. I,” he clears his throat, looking down at his shoes. “I’m just going through a hard time. I know I’m taking all of it out on you. I’m really sorry, I really-”

“Wait, Jin,” you cup his face in your warm hands, immediately shedding all traces of anger and annoyance you carried for the last few days. Of course, your friend of many years would never hurt or anger you on purpose. He’s overthinking and lashing out when logic hits a wall of emotions, just like you had with Jungkook before. You’ve never seen Jin on the verge of tears until now and it’s tugging your heart painfully. “I forgive you, everything’s okay now, right? You’re still one of my dearest friends, I’m not going to be mad at you forever.”

Jin shakes his head. “No, there’s just…”

He freezes mid-sentence again, leaving you curious as to what his next few words might be. Jin’s eyes move frantically from his shoes to the trees outside. Sweat prickles his scalp as he considers the weight of what he’s about to do next, what he’s about to reveal to you. He’d considered and reconsidered his plans only to wing it all last minute. What good does thinking ever do for him? When Jungkook holds your heart captive, is planning worth the trouble? Or is it easier to play Jeon’s game with his unpredictability? Right now, Jin is convinced it’s the latter.

You watch as he digs into his pocket to reveal a small black flash drive the size of a rifle bullet. “Everything I want to say,” he swallows, “is all here.”

You feel glued to the ground by the weight of the object in his hands and by how intense his gaze is as it sets on you. If Jungkook can see you know, you know he would be furious. Jin takes your hand, revealing your soft pink palm, and places the flash drive in the center before curling your fingers around it. Even though the object itself is as light as a feather, the burden of his words lay heavy against your chest, restricting your ability to breathe.

He whispers your name softly like a prayer, rubbing his thumb across your enclosed fist. “Please read it all for me when you’re alone. I promise I’ll leave you and Jungkook alone unless you need me.”

“W-What’s in it?”

A love confession? Maybe Jungkook was right all along about Jin, about men.

Jin shakes his head. “Just read it. Alone. I went through a lot of trouble to make this for you. If you forgive me and want me to be the Kim Seokjin you grew up with, read it.”

Your fist tightens slightly as you take another step away from him. When you walked to the office this morning and found him staring into his mug of pitch-black coffee, you weren’t expecting anything more than the usual passive aggressiveness or being chased during lunch breaks between your boyfriend’s calls. You didn’t expect to stand here in front of him, wondering if the contents of this flash drive will confirm the doubts Jungkook had about him all along.

Noona, can’t you see he wants you for himself?

You dig your hands into your pocket and tuck the flash drive away, garnering the strength to finally look back into your friend’s eyes. Jin’s eyes are fixed on your pocket before they scour your face once more as if he were searching for something.

“What is it?”

How ironic that you’re the one asking the questions now.

Jin’s lips part just slightly before he digs his fists into the pockets of his black slacks and look out the window. It’s strange that he can’t find the words he wanted to say when he can finally be alone with you for once without raising the suspicion of others or, worse, Jungkook’s. The wind blows gently into the hallway, carrying with it the scent of wet leaves. He stares into the distance as you stare at him until a round of laughter interrupts your thoughts. You look at the break room door and then back at your friend who seemed to have turned to stone.

“I’ll make sure to read it,” you reassure him, unable to bear the silence any longer.

He turns back to you but his smile is sad. You gaze at him longer, unable to decipher anything that just happened in this lonely hallway. One thing for sure, you know the contents of Jin’s flash drive needed to be opened alone and whatever is inside affects you more than it’ll affect Jungkook. Something about the content is going to change you, alter your reality, and take the blissful filter you’ve been wearing for the last two weeks at home. The thought makes you feel queasy as if you have something dirty to hide, as if you’re committing adultery behind Jungkook’s back after he’d spilled his heart out to you.

It was Jin who turns on his heels and heads back into the room.

You dig the flash drive out of your pocket and hold it up to the sunlight. It’s such a small and simple plastic tool costing just as much as a tin of mints.

Yet, it scares you so much you nearly miss your phone vibrating in your back pocket. Jungkook’s name flashes across your screen and for the first time, you hesitate to press the answer button.

Perhaps you thought too highly of yourself all along. How different are you really from Yori or Namjoon when you can keep a man’s secret in your pocket while you live with another?

*

So far, Jungkook has learned that fear is a strong motivator. It influences you, shapes you, makes you create paths where there isn’t one. It crawls up the walls and knocks on your window as a reminder that there’s always something lurking in the distance. It’s why Jungkook believes in never settling when things get comfortable.

When he asked Taehyung to make placebo pills, he had done so in fear that you would leave him. Yet, this does nothing to settle his nerves. In fact, it makes him uneasy that he’ll get caught somehow as if the birth control pills he flushed down the toilet never melted. In his unease, he can imagine those eggshell white tablets sticking to the sides of the drain despite the chances being slim to none. One call from a neighbor about a clogged pipe and it’s over for him.

This is the nightmare that lingered in his mind before he’d sat you down in his lap and pressed your hand against the dent on his cheek. Three weeks ago, you listened to him attentively as he wraps you slowly around his fingers. He can smell himself on your neck, taste himself on your tongue, feel your touch so agonizingly sweet on his taut stomach. It pained him a little that you, the privileged girl from the world above, might trade love for pity. But you were so accepting and so understanding of his past, his dependency on Taehyung and you, that there was no way someone can come along and convince him you weren’t made for him. Making love to you, worshipping your skin and scent, has never been so otherworldly for him.

Sitting in front of the television and replaying the footage of you from the wedding that could have taken you away from him, Jungkook inhales and exhales slowly. He’d taken the time to clip Namjoon’s footage away so that all that’s left is you in the wedding boutique twirling multiple dresses to your chest, your soft wavy hair pooling over your shoulders as you do so. In a silk robe, you lift a ballroom dress up against the mirror, eyes moving up and down the charmeuse and tulle quickly to take in all its miniscule details.

He loves that about you. The way your eyes glisten and widen when something strikes your heart. It’s the same look you gave him, sitting in his lap on that damp balcony, running your thumb over the scar on his cheek.

It was especially painful for Jungkook to reopen his past wounds but in one way he felt the invisible weight lift off his shoulders. He couldn’t tell you everything – especially not about the strings Taehyung pulled for him to live a normal life – but he was satisfied that you didn’t mind one bit. He swears he could hear you purring and sighing softly underneath his chin, reacting with a slight gasp when he tells you how often he was hurt back then and how thankful he was that Taehyung took him under his wing. Although a small spark of jealousy ignited in his chest when you mentioned inviting his attractive friend for dinner once he’s back in down, Jungkook was more than grateful that you didn’t seem to mind how attached he is to the older man.

He wonders if you’d react that same way if he’d told you he’d lost his virginity to Taehyung a year into high school and that his first kiss happened on that same beach rock. He wonders if you’d react in the same sympathetic manner if you truly knew what happened before he was able to graduate high school before the world plunged into tar.

*

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?”

Jungkook’s hands tremble as he yanks the storage drawer open and dig out his shirts, undergarments, and jeans into the duffel bag. He has to make sure he doesn’t forget his winter clothes because he would be livid if he finally gets out of this house only to freeze to death on the streets. From between the cracks of the rotten wood plastered against his window, he can see Taehyung standing with a cigarette hanging loosely from his lips. Taehyung looks around the house, at the rusted gates connected to the concrete walls that surround the perimeter, and the mailbox slumped over the garbage can. He looks at the messily covered windows and puffs out a smoke. There’s a similar slumped duffel bag next to his feet inflated with clothes and packets of food.

“I’m leaving.”

Jungkook’s mother attempts to grab him by the neck, unable to do so easily as he stands tall after he outgrew his middle school uniform. Her grip slips as fast as it comes.

“You ungrateful little shit!” She spits, reaching up successfully this time to grasp the ends of his hair as she shoves hard enough for him to stumble into the wall.

Relentless, Jungkook continues throwing his clothes, then his lunch box filled with coins and a wad of cash, into the bag.

“Do you have any idea how much I love you?!” She sobs, throwing herself on the floor next to his shoes and dirty socks. She scratches the slits on her arms and proceeds to drag her nails across the floor. A wretched cry falls from her lips and  Jungkook feels his throat clenching, his eyes watering. Rather than sadness, it was boiling hot resentment that keeps him silent.

He doesn’t turn to look at her. He knows she’s going to manipulate him, somehow, with her disgusting guilt-tripping shrieks and nail him against the wall to prevent him from moving.

She pounds the sticky floor mats with the heel of her palms, her voice hoarse. “I made you, Jungkook! I took care of you, I fed you, I bought your fucking clothes. And you’re leaving me with this fucking asshole,” she slams her hands down again, her head snapping towards the sound of the back door slamming open followed by heavy footsteps. His hands begin to sweat, causing the toolkit he grabs from the top of the shelf to slip and clatter on the floor.

In the distance, Jungkook can hear his father crushing a can of beer against the kitchen counter and throw it in the sink for him to clean like he usually does. No longer is he going to be yanked around like a puppet for these two sad excuses of a human being. How his mother was able to carry him inside her full term and give birth while smoking and drinking like a sailor is unknown to him. He’s grateful, at least, that he came out sane. He thinks with a sudden surge of anger that perhaps his mother’s need to have a punching bag was more critical than the inconvenience that the pregnancy caused her.

To her, his father coming back with the stench of prostitutes and alcohol always became his fault. It was his fault that his mother’s body isn’t as it used to be. It was his fault their marriage is dead. Above all, it was his fault for existing to remind them that they produced another good-for-nothing trash to add to the pile of garbage that is this town’s desolate population.

“I’m not coming back,” Jungkook grunts as he throws a camera and several rolls of film in the bag. “I never want to see you or dad ever again.”

His mother shakes her head over and over again, arms stretched towards the door as it suddenly slams open to reveal the lean yet pot-bellied figure of a graying man. His father looks down at the duffel bag on the floor, and then at his wife curled next to Jungkook shoes. His face seems lifeless – like a corpse – with bulging black beady eyes that reflect no light and a mouth set in a thin strip. It’s the first time in years that the man came to see Jungkook in the makeshift bedroom, usually taking the couch in the living room as his permanent place of residence. It’s where he drinks, where he watches the same television program about car remodeling, and where he demands weekly handjobs in his drunken stupor.

“You’re leaving?” He interrogates, voice low and tired as if he’d woken up from a slumber.

Jungkook nods, zipping his bag and glancing around the room to see if he missed anything. He didn’t own much but it pains him to leave his heavy stack of comic books behind. There was no way he could carry that with him across the country.

“Why?”

Jungkook looks at his father under the single light bulb illuminating the otherwise dark and swampy room. For the first time, he notices how similar they look. He has the man’s eyes, his soft yet chiseled jaw, and even the mole under the lips. If the man were several decades younger, they would be a splitting image of each other. The thought makes bile rise up Jungkook’s throat.

Why is he leaving? Was that even a question he needed to answer? One night with the Jeons and anyone will run far away. Jungkook has lived here for nearly a decade and a half and at no point during his residency was he able to remember a time when his body wasn’t covered with bruises or scars. It’s a miracle that he’s never broken a bone nor hospitalized after being whipped across his bare buttocks for years like a prisoner. The humiliation was far worse than the pain.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Jungkook retorts for the first time, gaze hardening. “I fucking hate living in this hellhole.”

His mother watches as her husband swings forward and slams his fist down on the side of Jungkook’s temples, knocking the boy against the open drawers. Jungkook splutters a ball of saliva and blood and digs his arms and legs into onto the ground the crawl away. Unfortunately, the room had only so much room for him to move. The stronger male pulls him by the ankles, dragging him back and flipping him on his back for him to see the belt buckle coming undone.

Jungkook crosses his arms across his face and shields his eyes away from the light and those deep black eyes. From the gaps between his forearms, he sees his mother crawling towards him and yanking his pants down, digging her nails so deeply into the patch of skin where his hips meet the waistband that the scratch marks instantly bleed.

“This boy needs to be taught a lesson!” He hears his father say with a voice as sudden and full of viciousness as thunder, the first lash coming down across his arm. He cries out, spine stiffening as a he gasps into the side of the bag. His breath is ripped out of his lungs. The second lash comes down shortly afterwards across his thighs where former bruises had only recently begun to heal.

“He does, doesn’t he?!” His mother encourages, no longer seeming as distressed as she was before looking down at his scrunched and tear-streaked face.

“When I am done with you, boy, you are going to wish you were dead. You ungrateful piece of-”

A stream of thick liquid splatters over Jungkook’s trembling body, a few droplets attempting to seep into his eyelids squeezed shut. His pounding head gifts him with a vision so hazy he might as well stare through a dense blanket of fog. When his arms come down at his sides to hold his temples together, he can feel his veins pulsing beneath.

It takes a full minute for him to even understand what he was looking at. There’s a muscular arm holding his father across the chest to hold the man’s spine straight and another swung over his shoulders as a silver scalpel, following a trail across the neck, stays lodged deep into the trachea. Jungkook sees another splash of red fall over his bare knees as the stream of blood falls to his feet. The smell of iron is thick in the air when his father, eyes bulging out further than he thought possible, slumps to the side.

Pulling himself away from the weight of the corpse at his feet, Jungkook watches the figure rip the knife standing tall from the man’s throat and plunge into the side of his frozen mother’s neck. He watches her pale, skinny limbs thrash as if she’s burned before she slumps down next to the futon.

With a feeling he can only describe as akin to relief, Jungkook looks up at his savior.

“I told you you’ll need me here.”

With soaked hands, Taehyung gathers the boy in his arms and leans him against the wall. He watches as Jungkook’s face scrunches in pain once more and stray tears make its way down his baby soft cheeks. He takes his trembling bottom lip under his front teeth and shakes as he whimpers like a wounded puppy.

He is truly a puppy, Taehyung thinks.  

The older boy takes his place against the wall, legs stretched out in front of him, watching Jungkook with the same enthusiasm as one watches a child take its first steps. Jungkook, wiping the splatters of blood from his face, exhales and sniffles loudly before crawling towards his mother. He wraps his fingers around the silver scalpel from her throat and pull until her skull knocks back down to the floor with a thud. Bloods seeps from her wound down to his fingers and, with a sudden strength, Jungkook lodges the sharp end of the tool into her heart. She must have been partially alive as a throaty gasp makes its way out of her mouth.

Her blood is darker than he remembered from the many period-stained panties of hers he scrubbed with his hands over the kitchen sink. It looked like tar, thick and warm yet lightweight as it drenches his clothes. Remembering his state of undress, he curls his fingers around the waistband of his pants and pull it up towards his hips and over the scratches at his side.

Jungkook grasps the knife once more to push further and relishes in the feeling of it hitting bone. He realizes, with wonder, that his parents don’t even look like corpses in front of him but like puppets.

Maybe that’s how they saw him when they were alive – like a puppet they could throw around without a care knowing it’ll live and die under this roof.

Jungkook takes the knife and stumbles over to his father’s body with enthusiasm, puncturing the man’s stomach and dragging the knife up towards the breastbone. More tar-black blood seep into the flooring, flooding the horizontal bamboo until it ran underneath the drawers and the small shelf holding his textbooks in a neat stack. He grips the knife and plunges, again and again, into the side of the man’s head, gasping only slightly when the bone gives away with a small crack like a camera shutter.

Jungkook situates himself on his knees, heels digging into his buttocks, and looks down at his soaked hands resembling red gloves. He examines his nails, the cuticles darkening as the blood oxidizes in the swampy room. He blinks a few times, watching the red glow under the dim lightbulb above him.

He’s imagined this moment many times before in his fantasies, some much more exciting and drawn-out than what occurred like a fight scene from a Bruce Lee movie. But none of those fantasies included Taehyung coming to rescue him like he had many times before. None of these fantasies included such quick and boring deaths. He was hoping he could say everything he wanted to say to them, about how much he loathed them with all his heart, how much he wished he could watch them boil alive like an insect in a summer pond.

They probably knew but didn’t care.

Now that it’s over, now that there will no longer be screaming and tiring cycles of starvation and receiving the belt, Jungkook is rather grateful for Taehyung’s interruption. And he’s grateful that his best friend of years has never really hid his experience from him. Taehyung just merely waited for his slow brain to catch up.

There’s only one thing he could say as the room falls silent and still.

“Is this what happened to your grandpa too?”

It was with a sudden intuition that Jungkook asked such a question.  

“This…and a little more.”

Jungkook slumps down to the floor, looking past his shoulder at Taehyung, silently motioning him to come hold him.

Reading the silence without hesitation, the older boy crawls forward and envelops him in his embrace, keeping him tucked beneath his chin as two hands grip the underside of his arms. He shields the boy’s gaze away from the bodies, knowing that the first time is always the most poignant despite him taking it so well.

“They’ll know it was us.”

Taehyung brushes Jungkook’s bangs back and tucks the ends behind his ear.

“They’ll find us even if we left.” Jungkook continues. Without looking, Taehyung can hear the pout in his voice.

“Are you worried?”

Jungkook nods, fingers palming the thick ropes of muscle beneath his grip.

“Don’t be,” Taehyung chuckles, his long fingers brushing over the small sensitive patch of skin just behind the boy’s earlobes. “I’ll take care of you.”

*

Jungkook decides to take a long, cold shower after ending the call with you. It concerns him that you sounded exhausted over the phone but he expected it anyway as you’ve been working far too much this week. Your voice, so soft and gentle, makes him semi-hard enough that he finds himself palming the length of his cock under the running water to relieve his frustrations. It had taken him a substantial amount of self-control to refrain from asking for more time in the bedroom these days. As sweet as you are allowing him to nestle inside you and nuzzle you when you were too tired and sleepy to move, your exhaustion ultimately lead him to tucking you in his arms and make sure you at least get some sleep. God, how he wishes for you to run your hands over his chest and arms now.

Jungkook twists the shower knob into the wall and ruffle his dripping hair. He slides the glass door to the left, heaving a soft sigh as he examines the surface of the tub, the toilet, and the sink. The smell of sanitizing lemon cleanser still lingers in the air but he knows the scent will be long gone by the time you’re back from work. Next to the polished sink, he prepared a small basket of bath supplies – jasmine-scented bath salts, dried flowers, and a heart-shaped sponge – for you to pamper yourself when you drag your feet through the front door looking like death. Work has been rough on you and he was more than happy to handle all the responsibilities at home that you sometimes habitually do.

He grabs the towel folded over the slightly rusted rack erected next to the shower curtain (he reminds himself to replace that) and wraps the fluffy material around his waist. Stepping out of the shower, he grabs his cellphone just in time for it vibrates aggressively in his grip.

Head tilted to one side to make sure the moisture at the ends of his hair doesn’t drip on the surface, he answers the call with a smile.

“Tae!”

“Is she pregnant yet?”

Jungkook exhales softly, a smile dancing on his lips. The older Taehyung gets, the less he beats around the bush. “Not yet but she’ll be fertile next week, I think I’ll have better luck soon. How’ve you been? Jimin told me you were in Cuba…and Hong Kong too.”

He hears a sigh over the speakers and chews on his bottom lip. Oh, Jimin is going to get an earful for sure for blabbering his business around.

“I had to deal with a few people…listen,” his voice lowers suddenly, “has anyone approached you or your girlfriend recently?”

Jungkook walks into the bedroom, turning off the bathroom lights with his elbow on the way out. He sits at the edge of the bed, combing his hair back until the droplets trail down his spine and shoulder blades.

“Not that I know of,” he shakes his head, “why do you ask?”

When Taehyung doesn’t reply immediately, a pang of anxiety wraps his heart in a vice grip.

“I-is there someone after me?” He grips his phone.

A few thousand miles away, the older man shakes his head, re-evaluating what he needs to hide or reveal. He wants Jungkook to be prepared for emergencies but after discovering that this Kim Seokjin person is in the same city and, out of a strange coincidence that may not be a coincidence, worked in the same building as you, he’s come to a logical conclusion that makes the situation unpredictable. A basic background check tells him that Seokjin no longer works for the government nor does he have permission to access private health and criminal records of strangers. It explains why the man needed to contact Hoseok and Yoongi. The motive behind such an unethical behavior could also be because of you, Taehyung guesses when he scrolled through Seokjin’s social media profiles to see more than a few pictures of him and you at cocktail parties and birthday gatherings. It did not take much deduction to understand that Taehyung is staring at the jealous male figure that his closest friend complained of lingering around his precious noona. Perhaps the man is using unethical means to dig for the literal skeletons in Jungkook’s closet?

However, if Jungkook sees the man as a threat and if Seokjin has evidence in his possessions, why has neither of the men taken drastic action? Jungkook is far too immature (Taehyung admits) to not consider using his services to take care of a male threat. He seems unusually at peace with you now, leading Taehyung into a wall. If Jungkook isn’t truly threatened and if Seokjin hasn’t acted yet, the former agent is probably smart enough to realize you’re not worth the trouble of dealing with a criminal. The contents of Jungkook’s case must have scared him off. Yes, that’s it.

Taehyung mentally slaps himself on the forehead for not thinking through before calling and worrying the boy.

“Tae? Are you still there?”

That bug he planted in the software used to track juvenile criminal cases lent him more paranoia than relief. There were numerous times Jungkook and his files were accessed by agents that were actively filtering or attempting to study old cases to his annoyance. Maybe the pictures scared Seokjin off for good. Two weeks is too long of a wait to expose a man when there’s an abundance of evidence.

“You don’t have to worry. I was asking because someone messed up a shipment and my customer isn’t very happy. Sent some threats that sounded a little too serious than the usual.”

Jungkook exhales a breath he doesn’t know he’s holding. “…I mean…it sounded serious enough to worry you. Should I keep watch? Should I tell Jimin?”

“No, no need for that. I called to check, just in case. You know nothing is guaranteed in our line of work.”

The thought makes Jungkook upset. Nothing is guaranteed, but he hopes your devotion and Taehyung’s safety is. He doesn’t know what he’ll do without the both of you.

“Okay…” Jungkook looks down at his toes clenching into the floor. “You’ll tell me if there’s anything wrong, right?”

To that, Taehyung replies quickly. “Of course. We’re brothers after all.”

He smiles to that, brushing his locks back and standing. He makes his way towards the closet, fishing out a pair of black sweatpants and a matching cashmere shirt.

Hearing the ruffle of clothes through the phone, Taehyung makes the decision not to tell you about Kim Seokjin after all. With the expectation of pregnancy and Jungkook’s proneness to jealousy, he didn’t need more work on his plate. Despite the brotherhood, they each had their own lives after all and constant surveillance of the past would do more harm than good, reopen wounds that have longed healed.

“I’m catching a flight, I’ll call you later.”

“Okay,” Jungkook beams. He suddenly looks forward to the day he’ll introduce Taehyung to you if there’s business that needs to be done in the city. “Bye, Tae-”

The doorbell rings, prompting Jungkook to turn towards the opening where he can see past the living room to partial front door. By the time the bell rings a second time, Taehyung has already dropped the call. Jungkook makes his way out of the bedroom slowly, keeping his feet light.

Taehyung has already reassured him that there was nothing to worry about. Being approached by someone seems unlikely if this customer of his had expressed similar threats in the past. Yet, somewhere in his gut, he couldn’t fight the feeling that there’s something he isn’t noticing. And the answer to that feeling might be on the other side of the door.

When he reaches the panel, he presses the button next to the monitor to reveal the image of a neatly dressed middle-aged woman carrying a small, wrapped box in her hands. He can tell just from her clothes that she belongs to this part of the town – her posture itself reflects wealth and respect.

It took a few more blinks until he realizes who he’s looking at.

Mother-in-law!

The door opens with a loud clang, causing the woman’s head to snap upwards at the tall man smiling down at her. She notes his damp hair and handsome features – doe eyes, a button nose, pink shapely lips and aristocratic cheekbones. You sure know how to pick your men.

“Are you…Jungkook?” The woman inquires.

He nods eagerly, stepping to the side. “Yes, you’re noona’s mother, right? Please come in.”

He notices the hesitation followed by a pair of Celine heels clicking against the polished floors. He mentally rewards himself for dedicating the morning to polish the bathroom, the kitchen, and the parquet. The house smells a bit like lemon but the balcony carried the scent of orange blossoms that masked the unpleasant sharp notes of artificial fruit.

The woman’s eyes move across the living room, eyebrows slightly raised as if she was bracing herself to witness a pig sty instead of a home.

“What time does she get off work?”

Jungkook closes the door and hovers an arm across her back to lead her towards the sofa. She’s about the same height as you, the top of her head barely reaching his shoulders. He silently hopes the furniture doesn’t smell like sweat as he’s been melting there with the television on for the first half of the afternoon.

“A-about nine, she’s been working overtime for this week.” His knees hit the side of the couch but any hint of pain is overridden with the need to impress. “Please take a seat, I’ll bring you some water.”

“Thank you,” she smiles, although the light doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

Jungkook backs slowly towards the kitchen and then jogs to the fridge, yanking the door open and fetching a cool bottle of water. His hands shake when he fishes a glass from the dish rack, making sure he chose the glass without the uneven bottom. He should have refunded the entire set months ago when it came with such a frustrating defect.

He quickly pours into the cup and wipes any stray droplets on the side of the glass with the back of his hand. She thanks him under her breath when he sets the cup in front of her with a wooden coaster propped underneath. She takes the glass in her hands and take a small sip, smacking her lips together as if she’s tasting wine.

Jungkook struggles to look for the right words to say.  

“I brought marinated crabs,” she thrusts the neatly packed box towards him, “I think you’ll enjoy it.”

Jungkook’s smile couldn’t have been any larger as he takes the wrapped box from her with both hands. “Thank you so much…I’m sorry I don’t have anything prepared. I wasn’t aware you were coming.”

At that, your mother clears her throat. “I came to talk to you about my daughter. Without her knowing, you see. I’m sure you know we…haven’t been on speaking terms for a while.”

Jungkook nods, placing the box on the table and gathering his hands in his lap. Despite keeping close watch on your every move, he’s kept in the dark about your family situation. He only remembers you shaking with laughter and tears when hearing about your mother maintaining close ties with the Kim family after what happened. Even though the woman hurts for her daughter, financial ties are hard to break.

“…Yes, I’m aware.”

The older woman sighs softly, dragging her gaze across Jungkook’s expression and posture. The boy certainly is polite but it was obvious he was not from the kind of world you’re from. She can tell by the way he fidgets and seem too eager to please; it was endearing but also pathetic to watch. He’s extremely sweet and charming – she admits – and overwhelmingly so. Unlike Namjoon, he seems to be much more expressive and sensitive.

She can understand why you took such a liking to him, why you could overlook the not-so-pleasant behavior that reveals his poor upbringing.

“I wanted to come to tell you…I found someone for her.”

He smiles, not understanding the woman for a few moments until her solemn eyes met his. He can feel his belly clenching as his stomach drops. He must have misheard, that’s it. “I-I’m sorry?”

Your mother takes another sip from her glass, looking around the house once more, as if she were stalling time, before planting her eyes on Jungkook’s appalled expression. She seems guilty, at least, that she’s said such a thing to the boy although she’s never once held a high opinion of him.

“I’ve been looking for a suitable partner for her.” She continues. “I am aware she is rightfully upset with me and she won’t listen to me, much less talk. I know she was seeing several men before she became…serious with you.”

Jungkook can feel his stomach churning.

“You must know by now what kind of family she comes from. There are some…things that are expected of her to respect our traditions. I know it’s entirely unfair of me to-”

Jungkook stands, turning away from her as he brings a hand up to his mouth. His temples pulse with nausea as her voice grows louder.

“-come here and ask for you to understand! What you did to Namjoon did irreversible damage to my daughter’s reputation and as a mother,” she shakes her head from side to side, “I can no longer sit still and watch her make a terrible mistake”

“I…” Jungkook starts, his heart hammering in his chest. “What I did to him…I would never do to noona. I’d never hurt her o-or even think about doing such a thing.”

The woman sighs, her eyes devoid of warmth. “I know, darling. I do trust that the incident happened because you were protecting her feelings. I can appreciate your sentient. However,…she’s my only child. As a mother…as her only parent…I have to make sure she’s on the right path.”

Jungkook turns, his eyes glazed as he bores into the box sitting on the couch. This wasn’t a present given for pleasantries, it was brought to cushion her true intentions.

“Jungkook…” The woman stands to stretch her arms out and hold Jungkook’s hands under her warm palms. He’s paralyzed, whether or not it’s from her insulting logic or from her general disapproval of him, she doesn’t care to know.

“I’m not your enemy. I know you love my daughter, I’ve heard of how much you’ve taken care of her. Please understand that-”

His ears are ringing. Jungkook can feel himself shrinking under her gaze. He couldn’t even bring himself to be angry because he knows, deep down, how incompatible he is with you considering the two very different lives you both have led. Did you phone your mother for the first time in months behind his back after he told you about his past? Did you pretend to be okay even if it scared you?

It’s like your mother reached into his core and pulled every shred of insecurity he carried within him. Every night for the last few months, he felt like he was given permission to consume the forbidden fruit that is you, knowing there are consequences to his consumption. Your devotion, your promises, your endless compassion towards him – is it all going to turn into a mirage?

He knows since the very beginning that in many ways he’s incomparable to Namjoon and even some of your rebound lovers he had the displeasure of following around. A glance at a man’s wristwatch and he could tell whether they belonged to your world or not. Jungkook can only hope that the struggles he’d faced would give him the leverage others don’t have. He is willing to risk it all for you and make sure you won’t ever have to experience a single morsel of pain he’d endured.

“Can you give me a chance?” Jungkook pleads, voice small.

Suddenly, anger flashes across your mother’s face but as quick as it came, it disappeared. He could tell she was struggling to keep herself in check after several months of you ignoring her calls, her incessant demands to maintain the family image, and the burn of needing to sneak around your schedule to reach your new apartment herself. It’s the pent-up frustration of having the family pride stepped on again and again by you that has led her to this moment.

If he were your guardian, he’d also be worried too. He can forgive your mother just as he had forgiven you many times.

“A chance?” She fumes.

Jungkook nods. “I promise I won’t disappoint you…I-I have a business and I’m more than willing to be the sole provider-”

The woman’s hand tighten around his relaxed fists.

“Jungkook,” she grits. “You are not hearing me. I don’t want her marrying into a family out of our circle. We have an established tradition of-”

Jungkook scoffs, ripping his hands away. “No, ma’am. You are not hearing me.”

Her eyebrows come together as her foundation-covered wrinkles deepen with a frown. She watches Jungkook walk across the living room to the hanging picture of you and your father. You were a mere child then, staring naively up at your late father with wonder as your little fists reach up to take the glasses resting on the bridge of his nose.

Digging his hands inside his pocket and running his tongue over the inside of his cheek, he turns to the woman.

“I’m asking for a chance because I’ve already decided to ask for your daughter’s hand in marriage.”

[deniigi]

bro, work made me depressed that I literally left my seat to regain any resemblance of joy or something equivalent before breaking down again. Do you think you can provide a ficlet I involving Peter and Sam to cheer me up?

FUCK CAPITALISM

TAKE THIS

Title: Calibrating

Summary: Sam and Peter talk themselves towards a meaningful discussion.

---------

Peter did this thing—this infuriating thing where he texted shit like ‘come over’ and then Sam had to bend over backwards to be flirty and coy.

It was imperative that he came across as flirty and coy.

Im-fucking-perative, regardless of what Leilani said or Matt’s annoyance at what he called the ‘jungle of depravity’ that overtook the group chat pretty much daily.

Sam didn’t care.

If Peter texted the group or sent any message that might be construed upside-down as something romantic or sexual, Sam not only had to catch it, but he had to volley it back.

This, he told Leilani, sealed their No-Homo contract.

She stared at him.

He decided to demonstrate.

“See, here, look, I’ll show you,” he said, dragging out his phone. “Exhibit A. There he is, see? Asking about the strength of PVC pipe in pounds per meter like a fuckin’ tease. Now I can’t just let him think that I saw that and didn’t think of it as a metaphor, alright? So I say—”

“Sam, why does he need to know the strength of PVC pipe?” Leilani interrupted.

It didn’t matter. That wasn’t the point of this discussion.

“I’m sending a winky-face,” Sam informed her as he did that very thing.

Leilani stared harder than before.

But look, skepticism was unrewarded. Peter texted a kiss right back and said ‘oh boo, you always know just want to say.’

How could she not see the No-Homo? Sam could do this all day. He could and there would be absolutely no problems and he wouldn’t want to suffocate himself in his pillow at the end of it all.

It was fine.

“Samuel,” Leilani said, “I’m going to tell you something and I want you to hear it with an open heart. Will you open your heart for me?”

Sam spun around in his chair and arranged his arms and legs so that they were as open as they could feasibly be without being obscene.

“I am more open than a boiled clam,” he informed her.

Leilani blinked slowly, then shook her head and checked over her shoulders. She waved him in closer. Then closer. And then close enough that he could smell her perfume on her neck.

“You’re the tease,” she said.

Then she left the backroom. And Sam could only stare after her, frozen in horror as his wide-open heart wrinkled in on itself, picking up mass and gravity until it was naught but a black hole.

“I’m the tease?” he whispered to himself in shock.

Oh no.

OH NO.

 --

  “SENSEI.”

Matt dropped his collection of folders and swore, clutching at his chest.

“We have discussed volume, Sam,” he said, bending down to collect his paper children.

Sam took the opportunity to throw both arms around his neck from behind as a threat.

“Don’t lie,” he warned. “Swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, amen.”

Matt stood up and Sam felt his toes leave the floor. He hadn’t planned this far ahead.

“Or what?” Matt asked, 110% unfazed.

Sam wished that his feet weren’t kicking around in air here. It really put a dent in his intimidation factor.

“Am I a tease?” he asked.

Matt faced front with heavy eyebrows. Sam couldn’t see his face from this angle, but he knew that aura of irritation.

“If you have to ask the question, then you already know the answer,” Matt said. “Does that help?”

“No, I hate you now, actually,” Sam told him.

Matt dropped him right on his ass.

 --

 There had to be a way to attain proof. To determine once and for all that it was Sam who was in the wrong here, misinterpreting things like the genius that he was.

Thankfully, Sam’s experience of growing up as a non-only child for the last two decades had prepared him exactly for this type of conversation.

 SC: HANNAH AM I A TEASE???

HC: yes

HC: next question

SC: FUCK.

SC: WHAT IF ITS NOT NO-HOMO?

HC: my dear brother, the only options if something is not no-homo is for it to be no-no or homo-homo.

SC: Murder me

HC: gladly

SC: I’m in possible homo-homo with spiderman

HC: are you sure it’s not no-no?

SC: MURDER ME

HC: okay but like if it’s no-no then this is not a problem, right?

SC: If it’s no-no then I’ve read every sign wrong and I deserve to become a partially eaten tadpole awash in an indifferent boiling sea

HC: okay so we’re leaning INTO the drama today I gotcha. Alright but like, just for the sake of arguing, what if it was homo-homo?

SC: then I need you to bury my body somewhere no one will ever find it because my heart can’t stand requited love you know this about me.

HC: give me your login

SC: thank you I love you you’re the only person who matters

 --

 BT: Spiderman.

SM: Blindspot. DMing? You okay?

BT: this is Hannah.

SM: OH

SM: hi Hannah are you okay? Did you need something?

BT: My brother never got tested for reading comprehension but would have failed anyways. Can you arbitrate an arbitrary argument for us?

SM: I’m positive that there is a link between those two ideas that I am missing, but sure?

BT: okay are you ready?

SM: my loins have been girded.

BT: gross. you two are made for each other. Okay: what are your opinions on 24yo Chinese dudes with bad vision who are 5’7” tall, with terrible hair and brains as big and gaseous as Jupiter?

SM: positive

BT: you’re so romantic spidey.

SM: I know

BT: I’m going to tell him now

SM: WAIT DON’T TELL HIM

BT: byeeeeeee

 --

 Sam was going to have a heart attack. He couldn’t look at his phone. He was just going to lay here until he wasted away into a fossil.

Mm, yes, what a wonderful way to escape any and all feelings. That was—

His phone chirped and he nearly fell out of his chair in a hurry to answer it.

 HC: [image] [image]

HC: you owe me your bones

SC: AFASDFADFAS:FJaf’asdfjahsdlfihasdl’fas

SC: TAKE THEM

HC: if you fuck spiderman you have to get pregnant and demand alimony for your beautiful mixed babies Samuel

SC: Darling sister, we’ve talked about this. it isn’t going to happen I still have yet to steal a womb

HC: try harder

HC: ttyl

--

 Okay, this was fine.

Everything was fine.

Spidey liked Sam back, it was no big deal. Spidey liked everyone back. Even the teases.

Even.

The.

Teases.

Fuck, Sam had to move.

 --

 Foggy caught him biting his nails to pieces over the copy machine and asked him if he was okay. He was not. Foggy could read this off him. He didn’t ask again, but he did say that if Sam was feeling particularly anxious about something he was welcome to go have his breakdown upstairs in Kirsten’s kitchen instead of downstairs among the files.

Sam appreciated his offer. He hiked up the stairs, and halfway up, his phone chirped.

His heart stopped.

It chirped again, and then again. By the time he got to the top of the stairs, it was chirping every couple of seconds with messages being typed and sent at mach speed.

He kicked off his shoes and went to go stand over Kirsten’s sink to open the first one.

  PP: Sam it’s peter hey listen your sister messaged me

PP: and was asking some pretty invasive questions and I replied to her. I don’t know if you saw them but I just wanted to say that if that makes you uncomfortable in any way know that I absolutely don’t mind and I’ll stop

PP: you can tell me to fuck off if that crossed your boundaries. I shouldn’t have even messaged her back without asking you

PP: and obviously in future I won’t talk to her until I’ve cleared it with you I just wasn’t thinking I’m never thinking it’s a little hard to think sometimes

PP: especially when you message me back and I get caught up in the games and the emojis and stuff and like I’m sure that sometimes I overstep but I don’t mean to and you can tell me at any point if you want me to stop

PP: I guess I just really like to talk to you sometimes and it’s fun to have someone to banter with who actually banters back like not in a mean way but in a really nice and funny way. you’re an easy guy to talk to is what I’m saying

PP: which I’m sure you get a lot. I don’t mean that I want to like tell you all my problems I swear it’s not that it’s just more of a AHHHHH I don’t even know what I’m saying I think it’s sorry???

PP: I’m sorry??? I don’t mean to imply anything that isn’t there and I don’t want to make you feel like you have to either. Ar e you mad? Please don’t be mad okay wait no I’ve sent like seven fucking messages I’m being a creep oh my god IM SORRY ILL SHUT UP NOW OKAY SORRY BYE

  Oh nooooo.

The panic-induced infodump was not only familiar but horrendously endearing.

Sam had to explode now.

Man. Bummer.

  SC: it’s okay Peter

PP: OH THANK GOD

PP: is it tho??? Are you sure?

SC: I have positive feelings towards people like you too

  Sam’s heart pounded. He almost locked his phone and threw it in the sink, but another text came in just as that thought finished crossing his mind.

  PP: you do?

SC: yes of course I do

PP: oh nice

SC: yeah

  Annnnnnnd cue mutual nerd awkwardness. Great. Well done, Sam, you’ve done it again.

He sighed and turned away from the sink and sunk down onto the floor with his back against it.

Such a loser, Chung. So painfully awkward. Would it kill you to, just for once, slow down and chill for a minute?

God.

  PP: hey sam?

  No, Sam just wanted to sit on this floor and wallow.

  PP: hello? Are you still there?

 --

Sam let his head fall back against the sink. He closed his eyes.

His phone rang in his hand and he nearly had a heart attack. His fingers scrabbled over its face and the caller ID read ‘Peter Parker.’

Oh god.

Oh no.

Be cool. Be cool. Be cool.

“Hello?” he answered to the scratchy phone silence on the other side of the line.

He frowned.

“Hello?” he tried again, a smidge less desperate.

“Hi.”

There he was.

“Hey,” Sam said. “Sorry, just got awkward.”

Peter laughed through the line.

“Me too,” he said. “That was awkward.”

Yeah.

“Yeah.”

A long pause.

“I’m doing it again,” Sam moaned into his hand.

“No, no. Hey, you’re good,” Peter said. “I was just uh. Calling because.” He trailed off.

Sam waited.

“Sam? You still there?”

He startled and cleared his throat.

“Yeah, I’m here,” he said. “Sorry, zoning out a little bit. You know, busy day.”

“Yeah,” Peter said.  “Yeah, I know.”

Sam breathed as quietly as he could. He could almost hear Peter doing the same on his end.

“Sorry, I’ve gotta g—” Sam started.

“Hey, do you like me?”

HNG.

“No?” Sam answered and then punched himself in the leg. “Sorry. Uh. I didn’t—I mean, uh. Yes. Of course I like you. You’re a really good person. I admire you a lot.”

Hannah, oh Hannah, where is thine shovel? Sam needed it to dig this grave deeper, please.

“Oh. Okay, I just—I guess I uh, have a hard time reading the tone of your texts sometimes,” Peter said.

“It’s okay, I get that a lot,” Sam said. “I’ll try harder to be more direct.”

“No,” Peter said. “No, no, you don’t have to change anything.”

“Oh? Okay, well. Maybe I still will, though,” Sam said.

If Peter wouldn’t have heard him, he would have started to try to fit his whole fist in his mouth.

Five minutes of conversation and they were still saying nothing.

“Sam?”

He swallowed.

“Yeah?” he asked.

“Next time you’re in the city, would you, uh, maybe want to go out somewhere? With me?”

Out? What like, to a movie or something?

“Yeah, just like that,” Peter said. “’Cause I uh. Would like to. Do that, I mean. With you.”

“With me?” Sam asked. “Oh right, and your other friends, uh, names—sorry, I’m bad with names. N-ned?”

“No,” Peter said oddly abruptly. “Well, I mean—I don’t mean it like that. I just—just with you. For now. That’s what I mean.”

“Oh. Uh. Kinda like a date?” Sam asked through the forcefield of self-hatred that felt like it spanned the entire continental US.

There was a pause. Sam held his breath.

“Yeah,” Peter said. “Exactly like a date. If you don’t mind—you know, doing that with me.”

AHAHAHAHAHAHA.

“Are you trying to lure me to a secondary location, Mr. Parker?” Sam asked seriously.

The laugh that met him made all the muscles in his shoulders relax.

“Maybe if the bit at the first location goes well,” Peter said. Then added hurriedly, “If you’re down for that.”

Sam was down for it right now.

Actually, maybe not in Kirsten’s kitchen. But like, right now in a different location.

“If it’s a movie date, we can do it through Netflix Party,” he pointed out faux-lightly. “It wouldn’t be the same, but we could do it this weekend, even. Saturday—I’m off Saturday.”

Peter said nothing for a long time.

“Okay. Saturday,” he finally agreed, “I can do Saturday. Kinda hard to hold your hand through a screen, but I can give it my best shot?”

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFfffffff.

“Oh, I bet you will,” Sam nearly choked.

“You’re really cute, Sam.”

NO. SHUT UP. YOU ARE.

“Thanks.”

“I wanted to kiss you last time you were here, but I was too, uh. Shy. Embarrassed. One of them.”

Sam was going to puke, but in like, the happiest kind of way.

“I like you a lot too, Peter,” he whispered.

“Are you crying?”

“What? No.”

“Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.”

“Shut up, I’m not. I—the old man’s downstairs, his ears aren’t as good through ceilings, but I just want to make sure—”

“Uh-huh,” Peter said. “I’m sure that’s what it is. So I’ll see you Saturday? Maybe Facetime or something?”

“Yeah, Saturday,” Sam said. “I’ll send you a time when I know. I’ve gotta go. Meltdown-alloted-breaktime is over.”

Peter laughed.

“Alright, man, I’ll talk to you later. Bye now.”

“Bye,” Sam said lamely.

He hung up the phone. He did not scream. But he did fist pump and then fall onto his side.

 ---------

Here’s to hoping things get easier for you anon!!