#if you ever need a short and concise answer to anything?

[winterrrnight]

mystery of love

PAIRING: husband!soft!rafe cameron x wife!fem!reader

SUMMARY: rafe started to get more busy with his business, and you couldn’t help but start to feel neglected by him.

WARNINGS: soft soft SOFT rafe, he's so lovesick for his wife it is crazy (no it isn’t that’s practically canon), slightly suggestive content but it’s written with a fluffy intent, usage of nicknames like goddess & baby, and just loads of sweetness over all, very very slight angst (?) and intentional use of lower case

EDITH SPEAKS: this fic is more on this, you can’t look at that picture and not think that’s rafe, cause it is! thank you so so much to @glimodejun who commented their idea which prompted me to write this 🫶🏼 i was supposed to write a blurb but I got carried away, clearly, and this is pushing 2k words 😁

anyways, please please reblog if you liked this and feedback is always appreciated! thank you so much for reading 🫧

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oh will wonders ever cease? blessed be the mystery of love

↶ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊˎ-

it was starting to get a little out of hand.

you always knew how important rafe’s business was to him, especially after he inherited it all from his father. the burgeoning fire in him to make the business bigger and better than it had ever been and be so much more powerful than his father, who couldn’t give him an ounce of attention or praise his entire childhood was one of the biggest things fueling his motivation.

that, and wanting to give you everything you could possibly need in great abundance so that you never felt you were at a loss of anything under his roof.

so you knew he tended to sometimes spend longer hours at the office, to get everything done, to not let a single mistake fall into place in front of his eyes, everything perfectly coordinated and right up to his standards.

he always made sure to call you or send you a text if he was going to be late, informing you why he was going to be late, the tentative time he should be back home, with a small ‘i love you’ and ‘i miss you’ accompanied with the occasional red heart he only ever used for you.

since the past few days, unfortunately you hadn’t been receiving the texts you always did. if you did, it was short, something along the lines of ‘i’ll be late’. but no explanation as to exactly what had been keeping him busy, and no words of endearment at all. he started coming home really late, most of the times when you had tried your best to stay up till he comes home, but the exhaustion would always defeat him in the race and you’d be out like a light.

and the next morning wasn’t close to being better than the night. if you were lucky, you would catch him getting ready for work, and you would always prompt him to stay for at least breakfast. but he would be in a hurry and shake his head no, saying something like ‘i have to leave, it’s important’ and leaving you with a chaste kiss to your lips.

whatever you’d ask, his answers to you would be short, concise and quick, and you felt as if you’re catching the subtle drift of vexation and annoyance in his tone. was it actually there or were you just imagining it? you didn’t know.

and if you weren’t lucky, you wouldn’t even get to see him leave. by the time you would be up, you would only feel the cold wrinkled sheets next to you, the faint scent of him lingering in the air as a burning memory of the love of your life.

this specific night, exactly one week after since the first day this peculiar behavior of his started, you were seated on the edge of the bed after a shower, applying your lotion on your arms as you prepared yourself for another night of waiting for rafe, falling asleep in the process, and letting it be a mystery solved only by some higher power if you would see him in the morning or not.

as you were rubbing the lotion into your skin, you couldn’t help your wandering mind. how were you supposed to deal with this situation? were you supposed to confront him and demand answers? or were you supposed to tread slowly? you knew you were nearing the end of the american fiscal year; 30th of september being right around the corner. it involved loads of financial and accounting work, preparing end-of-year accounts and statements, and what not. so him being busy felt justified. but he should be able to spare a moment to at least send you a proper text, shouldn’t he?

no, you shake your head. you’re his wife, for god’s sake. you shouldn’t be reducing your worth down to some text. heck, you should be getting proper calls from him. you’ve been so wonderfully patient, not complaining for a second for the past week. the least you can get is a proper conversation with him.

as you made up your mind firmly, your thoughts were cut through firmly when the door to your bedroom opened. you looked up to see rafe entering inside the room, his blazer off and resting on his shoulder, and his sleeves messily rolled up to his elbows.

“hey,” he muttered as he closed the door behind him, keeping his bag on the side and disappearing behind the washroom door.

“hey,” you said quietly, your gaze fixed on the floor as you heard the washroom door close. you remained seated on the edge of the bed, clad in a satin black robe which he swore made you look even more of a goddess than you already did as you waited for him to come out.

you heard the shower run inside for some time, after which the door opened and you were greeted with rafe sporting a pair of grey sweatpants, his upper body bare with some water droplets still trickling down his skin.

as he came out, he saw you in the same position at the edge of the bed as before. “hey why aren’t you going to sleep hm?” he asked as he busied himself with applying his moisturizer to his face.

“no reason,” you muttered, your back to him as you kept your gaze down at your feet.

rafe was very quick to catch the dejection in your voice, and before you knew it, he was making his way around the bed to you, standing right in front of you as he looked down at you.

“baby, look up please,” he murmured softly, one of his hand coming to rest on your cheek.

you lifted your head up to meet his gaze, your eyelids heavy as you look up at him through your lashes. “yeah?” you mumbled.

rafe exhaled softly at your bleak tone. he sank down on his knees in front of you, his gaze coming to your level.

“listen baby,” he sighed softly, placing both his hands on your thighs right below the hem of the robe. “I… I haven’t been the best husband the past week and I’m… so so sorry about that,”

his heartfelt words reached your ears and caused your eyes to widen, your mind started to work away the gears to process his words.

“I haven’t been giving you the attention and love I vowed to give you on day one,” he whispered looking deep in your eyes, his own eyes softened to such an extent it had you melting completely. “I haven’t been communicating well with you I…” he muttered, running one hand over his prickly buzzed hair, “I didn’t mean to do that baby I’m so sorry…”

you wanted to say something, anything, for that matter, but you were rendered completely speechless when you started feeling him press kisses over your thighs.

“I hope you can forgive me,” he whispered into your skin, “I hope you can forgive me for everything I did… I’ll make it up to you I promise…”

your lips parted to let out shuddering gasps as you felt him slowly move the satin of your robe up to reveal more of your thighs, his lips pressing kisses against your inner thighs and trailing over your outer thighs.

“I’m so sorry… so sorry, my goddess…” he whispered. “i won’t ever do this again… you’re my top priority, always, and there will never be a second where you don’t feel that way…”

his words left a searing mark on your skin, his lips trailing up to your left hip bone. one of his hands came to rest on your right hip, rubbing gentle circles onto your hip bone through the satin of your robe, and his other hand shifted your robe even higher to grant him more access to your skin. his lips landed on your hip bone and he pressed the most tender kisses along the bone, a soft gasp escaping your lips at his actions. your hand came to rest on the side of his face, your head leaning back as you felt the sensations of his lips on your sensitive hip bone thrum all throughout your body, lighting up each and every nerve that constituted you.

“I love you so much…” he whispered against your skin, starting to gently suck on your skin, his eyes fluttering shut. a hum of pleasure tumbled past your lips, your own eyelids getting heavier. “I love you so so much darling and I’m…” his lips started to trail over your lower abdomen, pressing kisses through the soft satin of your robe that still covered your upper half, “I’m never making this mistake ever again I promise... please forgive me…” he pleaded, his lips making over to your other hip bone and kissing on it, before gently sucking on it the same way he did earlier.

“you only deserve the best…” he murmured, lips trailing a path down to your inner thigh again. “just the best… cause you are so amazing…” he whispered, nipping on the soft skin of your inner thigh. your fingers curled over the nape of his neck to give you some leverage, soft gasps leaving your lips, your eyelashes fluttering, and your chest starting to heave from every kiss and nip of his lips and teeth.

his both hands now rested on the sides of your thighs as they gently kneaded into the flesh and his lips peppered insistent kisses all over your inner thighs. he looked up from your thighs up to you, a pleading expression in his eyes, his lips slightly parted as breaths escaped them.

“please forgive me, my beautiful goddess…” he implored, his voice a mere whisper. “please please forgive me, I’ll never do the same I promise…”

you looked down at him, your fingers trailing to the side of his face to gently cup his cheek. he snuggled into the warmth of your hand almost immediately, his eyes closing for a moment as he let out a soft sigh, letting his lips press a chaste kiss to your palm.

“I forgive you, rafe…” you whispered.

that made him look up at you, his eyes widened and the pleading expression draining out to be replaced with a hopeful one.

“yeah? you do?” he asked, squeezing your thighs in return.

“yeah,” you whispered back, giving him a small smile as you trailed your fingers to the side of his neck, gently scratching your nails against it. he let out a soft exhale at the sensation, letting his head drop to your thighs as your fingers made their way to the back of his neck, continuing the scratching motion. he almost purred in your lap at the feeling, nestling his face into your thighs.

“thank you…” he whispered against your skin. “I won’t disappoint you again, I promise,”

you let out a gentle sigh as you looked at his buried face in your thighs, your expression softening more.

“I know you won’t,” you mumbled, leaning down to press a soft kiss to his head.

that night, he held you in his arms and kept you pressed against him, his warmth lulling you in the most beautiful slumber you had experienced in that past week. he made sure you fell asleep comfortably, his lips always pressing random kisses to whatever part of your skin he could succumb to, whispered sweet nothings stumbling past his lips to your ears to alleviate you to great heights.

↶ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊˎ-

TAGLIST: @runningfrom2am @saccharinesammie @maybankslover @totalswag @madelynie @chenslucy @ietss @elle-mp3 @viawritesstuff @wallsdreams @mistress-amidala @sadfury @sage-burrow @jamesbuckybarneswify @xxxlaura @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @callsignwidow @starkowswife @drewstarkeyswifehoe @jjchaer @f4ll-for-you @wearemadeofstardust0 @drewsmusee @rafegirly @addriaenne @leighbronk @rafesdrew @bejeweledreverie @raf3sgff @aerangi @drewstarkey1bae @moneymaybank @spideysimpossiblegirl @noahkahansorangejuice @rafesgiirl @theoraekenslover @fals3-g0d @personalfavsthatarerandom @b1mb0slvt @babypoguelife @ilyrafe @ladyinbl00d @thisisntannie @zyafics

[suzukiblu]

WIP excerpt for Jan behind the cut; “mistaken identities and interdimensional refugees”. (( chrono || non-chrono ))

“No, man, I was talking to both of you. I mean he's hot but I have enough daddy issues of my own, thanks, I don’t need his too,” he says with a sigh. “I'm dating a different younger brother. Specifically one who is legal, legally adopted, and also is not actively murderous and did the least amount of time in the League of Assassins. Though apparently that’s just . . . not a thing here, I guess.” 

Dick and Jason stare blankly at him again. Even Jon stops sniffling into his shoulder long enough to give him a confused look of his own. Kon just tries to figure out how to explain literally anything about himself without having to say the word “clone” out loud in a reality that may not be all that clone-friendly. Said figuring does not “figure” very well. 

Or like . . . at all, really. 

Goddammit. 

“Who the fuck did any time in the League of Assassins?” Jason demands disbelievingly. 

“. . . don’t worry about it,” Kon says. “So like, uh . . . I can explain. Probably.” 

They all look at him again, up to and including Alfred, who somehow left and came back with tea without Kon even noticing and is now just barely raising an eyebrow at him. How the fuck he even made that so quick is beyond Kon. Doesn’t that shit need to steep or whatever? He feels like that shit needs to steep or whatever. 

“. . . okay,” Dick says slowly. “So when you say you’re not Superman, you mean . . . literally not Superman. As in, not Clark Kent.” 

“Bingo, World’s . . . eh, what’re you, Third-Greatest Detective, y’think?” Kon asks, cocking his head as he looks the guy over consideringly. 

“Bullshit, you look exactly like him!” Jason protests indignantly, pointing accusingly at him. It’s incredibly novel, as an experience, actually, given he’s not doing said pointing with the barrel of a gun. Like, whole new experience to be having with a version of Jason. 

“That is really not as rare a quality in the multiverse as you apparently think it is,” Kon says. “Actually it’s like . . . ridiculously common, in my experience.” 

“How?!” Jason demands, again like he just . . . what, thinks Kon’s gonna answer honestly? Like, genuinely appears to think that? 

Weird. 

“It is such a long story,” he says. “Or like, such a short story that I’d really prefer to see Batman’s immediate reaction to, just in case he feels like whipping out the kryptonite over it.” 

Technically this reality’s kryptonite shouldn’t work on him, but they’re all having a very weird interdimensional crisis right now and also it’s, like, the principle of the thing or whatever. Whether it works on him or not, when you get to the “whipping out the kryptonite” stage, you’ve kinda crossed the Bat-Rubicon or whatever. 

The bigger concern right now, though . . . well, like . . . 

“Wait, you’re not a version of my dad?” Jon asks uneasily, just barely tense in his arms. “You mean–not at all?” 

“Yeah, no, sorry,” Kon says, hoping that if he doesn’t make a big deal about it, the kid will at least, like . . . semi-match that energy. At least this version of Jon almost definitely hasn’t met an Ultraman, so . . . fingers fucking crossed, he guesses. He is being way too optimistic about this shit, frankly, but what the fuck else is he supposed to do with a literal ten year-old? “Thought you realized that earlier, and then the conversation got complicated.” 

“Then who are you?” Jon asks, looking even more uneasy. 

“I would love to have a concise answer to that question,” Kon says. “Like. Ever. Listen, I am sorry, kid, I wasn’t actually trying to pass for your dad. Hell, I wasn’t even trying to pass for their . . . also-dad, apparently, god that is so weird, I’m sorry.” 

“Bruce being our dad is weird?” Dick asks with a frown. 

“You specifically calling Bruce your dad is weird,” Kon clarifies, sparing him a quick glance. “Like, congrats on all the family therapy I’m assuming you did, seems like that worked out real well for you and all. Clearly did the work there.” 

“What?” Dick frowns, looking a little uneasy himself. Kon . . . probably should stop saying shit that’s going to make people associate, like, negative emotions and shit with his presence, considering. 

Like. Definitely he should, at this point. 

“Sorry,” he says again, then looks back to Jon. The kid hasn’t freaked out on him yet, at least, but he’s still pretty tense. Which . . . yeah, well, the kid saw him toss Killer Croc’s teakettle like less than half an hour ago, so probably he is feeling a lot less safe than he’s used to feeling right now. Especially a lot less safe than he’s used to feeling when he thought he was with his fucking dad. 

Kon really, really feels like an asshole over that. 

“Are you okay, kid?” he asks. “Like . . . you need me to put you down, or . . . ?” 

“I want my dad,” Jon says, abrupt and just barely cracked as he stares at Kon’s very El crest-less chest, his hands fisting in Kon’s jacket. 

“Sorry,” Kon repeats, trying not to visibly wince. “Like–listen, I meant it when I said I had you. And we are family, in my book. Like, I’m not your dad or even Superman, but I am a Kent. And an El, too. Though I’m assuming in your case you’re gonna care more about the ‘Kent’ part, far as I know my reality’s version of you’s never been all that concerned with, uh . . . any of the Kryptonian shit, gonna be honest. Which, like, I have a limited amount of dog in that race myself, just I was an ‘El’ first and–yeah, never mind. Sorry, rambling here. Uh. Do you need to put me down, or are you good right now?” 

“What’s your name?” Jon asks, rubbing anxiously at his big wet eyes, and Kon literally does not even know how to compute the question. It just . . . it is very much the last thing he would’ve expected the kid to ask him right now, he guesses. 

“Kon-El,” he says. “Conner Kent.” 

“. . . are you from Krypton? Like–from Kandor, or . . . ?” Jon asks hesitantly, and Kon . . . sighs, a little. He really did not wanna explain himself pre-Batman, but the literal ten year-old definitely deserves at least an explanation, at this point. 

Also he doesn’t want the kid to be worrying he’s from the fucking Phantom Zone, considering. So yeah. 

“Not so much, no,” Kon says.

[legobiwan]

What is your absolute favorite gravity falls fic ? The one that completely ate away at your brain and wouldn't leave your head for days? It can be shipp-y or gen, both is fine! I'm just completely on the edge of falling headfirst into a Gravity Falls hyperfixation and I need just one good fic to tip me over the edge & you have excellent taste!

Oh boi, I think it really depends on what you are looking for! I personally really enjoy fics that don't shy away from our characters' less desirable traits, and one of the things I adore about Gravity Falls is how deep and complicated the adult characters are. Ford can be an egomaniacal asshole who will trade the world to satisfy his insecurities; Stan can absolutely be a slimy conman with Saul Goodman-levels of morals; Bill is an outright abuser, despite his total infatuation with Ford; and Fiddleford essentially leaves his wife and child for another man he can never have in the 80s, which adds archeological layers to his terrible decisions. Considering this is technically a Disney, Y7 children's show, it's pretty damn wild how complex and mature these situations are once you spend more than three seconds thinking about them.

But you asked me for my single, favorite Gravity Falls fic.

As someone who really appreciates the Hannibal levels of fuckery that is the Ford and Bill relationship, I have to say Statement Abnegation is in my top 5, probably top 3. My backup Billford (gen, but still dark) rec would be Bait & Switch, which is unfinished at the moment, but updates at pretty quick intervals. (As an aside, I should mention I only rec triangle!Bill fics, as I really am not a fan of human!Bill unless he's possessing someone for a defined purpose).

Because I can never give a single, concise answer to anything in my life (hellooo, commitment issues hahahaha) I'll also throw in my favorite sibling-fic recs. First would be By Any Other Name, which is mostly a character study of Stan, but features a lot of Ford and the extended Pines clan, as well, and doesn't shy away from the fact that both Ford and Stan are very flawed people with a metric ton of issues. Backup sibling fic is a new one I just discovered, also complete, titled Under the Ice, which explores the idea that perhaps some events are fixed points in the universe and can never be avoided. Again, it's another fic that doesn't avoid the elder Pines twins and their multitude of less-than-savory character traits, which is something I really value in Gravity Falls writing, given the ever-present threat of blorbofication, no matter the fandom.

Anyway! Long answer to a short question, I hope you enjoy at least one of these!

[wackymaci]

HIIIII SECRET ACCOUNT FOLLOWERS.

I have a new target goal!

GATHER ROUND for three announcements, ALL TEN OF YOU

1: okay first of all…… lol. 🫠 LISTEN maybe one day I’ll actually complete my now formally hiatus’d forever wiki but as it turns out my inability to be concise in, oh say, a Wikipedia style summary format, is..,,,, a fatal flaw when one is attempting to make a… Wikipedia… style…. Summary.,,.. 100,000 words literally of an incompleted Maci-POV-Only-Article-Half later before losing interest here we are! UMM!! (I’m keeping the website and every so often I poke at it so it doesn’t get deleted for inactivity but! hmm!) You see this is why I couldn’t make a public announcement I KNEW I would do this. MOVING ON - MAYBE REVISIT IN THE FUTURE (I wont) - BUT IM SO SORRY….

But anyway, 2!! Currently;

I,, have finally found someone looking for website building commissions. and what do you know I have been in need of a cute website to be built, whining into the atmosphere about it in fact, and 🤝 several emails later, THIS is now hopefully going to be happening instead. (Not set in stone yet but - I’m excited and so Lemme ramble again here about projects that may or may not happen as long as it’s secret!!) My biggest and only real goal is to use this as an art gallery archive!!! Literally the same as the @welcometoelysiumm blog or say…. My art tag….. but MINE, as my anxiety over spontaneously losing any of my many social medias OR PARTICULARLY TUMBLR increases in these modern times….

i ideally want to Reaupload my entire art pile, which dates from 2013 to current, WHILE PRESERVING THE CAPTIONS AND ESSAYS TETHERED TO EACH. it’s the context of my own commentary that matters the most to me because I have all my actual art backed up, so not being able t preserve POSTS is the reason I can’t make an even shift to like, Bsky. So! Website building process is going to be starting soon. cute homepage, FAQ, me n’ Fenixe’s castlist bios like on the Elysium blog, and then 900 postdated drawings. then I’lll be in a playful hell environment for a while to go through 900 drawings to Re upload while trying not to get sucked down memory lane and crazy distracted

And THEN!!!

3: my new shifted shortterm goal, in lieu of wiki project, if I can do this very feasible thing, is to resume and actually complete the complete Elysium Timeline Bullet Point List of Events. In fact I posted the two parts [ONE!!!] [TWO!!!] I’d already done right on this blog! (Merely OoC the real-life-years of 2009-2012)

Sure it’s not very detailed but it’s a concise fun SUMMARY SUMMARY SUMMARY ITS ACTUALLYYYYY A SUMMARY of our canon and. since I still have no intention ever of doing anything with Elysium besides from what i am and have always been doing, maybe THIS is the answer to have some THING to read up on as content short of publishing our Canon Convos which I won’t EVER do lmaooo aaaaaaaa

once I get settled down with potential website progress I’m going to start trying to revisit the timeline I’ve already written and perhaps resume where I paused (I had written a little from Loki’s entrance but paused right where the artist-formally-known-as-Giselle enters - because we were mid retcon - we have FINISHED that retcon so I can now go back there!). and honestly,,, it was a relatively low effort list to write other than the massive cross-checking research I got lost in to make sure everything was exactly right because I’m neurotic

. So!! Fingers crossed I can do this!!! I think I can do at this barest minimum.,, this!!!

but! just in case NONE of this comes to fruition!! secret blog only it is….. shhhh:)))

anywayyyyyy. thanks ganggang

[starsandgutters]

how many chapters-ish do you think your mershark kevin fic will be?

god if only I ever had any concept of how long anything I ever write is gonna be I’d be at least three times more powerful

alright let’s hip hap hop back to october 24 when merKevin comes into conception in my little brain hole, ‘cause I was doing the whole spooky/supernatural october fic fest jazz, and I had a full list made up for the month, but along comes my inability to keep it brief to metaphorically kneecap me and we end up short (14/31, not bad but not even halfway there either, c’est la vie)

but little shark boy Kev stays up there in the brain tank, swimming circles. see I also love to swim, and everytime I was in the water my brain would drift back to this AU. there’s a lot of brain drifting opportunity when you’re swimming y’know, and what’s better than playing mermaids? shark mermaids. or tiny marine biologist hanging out with shark mermaid because alas, despite being a pisces I am not a strong enough swimmer to really sell myself on the mermaid fantasy, y’know? (you’re seeing the inability to shorten a story play out in real time in this ask. I partially blame the undiagnosed adhd and partially blame being irish. we love to go on.)

despite the amount of time this festers in my head, I still estimate it’ll be around 30k… maybe 50k at a push but y’know it feels quick, it feels concise (50k is concise for me lmao)

it also fees a bit hollow, but I repeat like a mantra that I do NOT need to flesh out every single world I write and not knowing all the facts is FINE and some things can just exist for fun

which is all well and good when it’s just in the fish bowl in my head, but once I set the lad loose into the ocean of the google doc, Kevin demands history (because we all know Kevin loves history, regardless of his background). and as much of a secret romantic as Aaron Minyard is, he also demands substance beyond a love story. like little man I gave you a fish to fuck, what else do you want??? and as always, the answer is understood. he always wants to be understood. as much as he slinks into the background, trying to blend in, trying to hide, Aaron always really just wants to be seen by someone

thus lands ME in the current predicament. I mean, I would absolutely love if I somehow pull this out of the bag and manage to get it in that 50k ballpark, but we’re at 20k and it’s still early days, so it may end up double that.

as for chapters…. ehhh. I shrug vaguely like a politician trying to dodge a question but not make it obvious (it is very obvious). it really just depends on how the story pans out. the chapters are just switching when I feel Aaron or Kevin’s perspective works better. if I wrote 15k words from one of them but that felt right to me for the flow, I would follow my bliss and drop that as a chapter. I’m not tied to a certain length, I am, as always in my writing, going by sheer vibes.

so yeah sorry I can’t give you a solid answer but I don’t know these things either I am not a planner I know the general direction but the journey reveals itself as I go

tldr: fuck if I know

[vialae]

Past life Durge asks for Kaidos:

2. Did they keep anything from their old family and home? A memento or a skill perhaps? 6. Bhaal loves money; did your Durge inherit that trait? Do they enjoy luxuries or try to live a frugal life, giving their all for their temple? 12. Durge gave a gold coin to a beggar once; why did they do it? Did this occur regularly? Bonus ask: whichever question you wanted to answer most but haven't been asked :)

under the read more again bc i cant keep my answers short and concise lol. thank you for the asks though, i really am enjoying writing these out!!

2. Did they keep anything from their old family and home? A memento or a skill perhaps?

I've been wanting a reason to talk about his family!! I think I've only ever briefly mentioned them in one fic before, but his adoptive family were a tiefling mother (Innise Escaris) and human father (Kadin Escaris. yes they were people who named their kids after themselves. he has a human sister called Inqine). They owned and ran an apothecary in the Lower City, so Kaidos grew up around all sorts of potions and remedies. Pre-tadpole, he had memories of watching his mother nurse children with nasty coughs and overworked fisherman with achy joints seemingly instantly. In his child mind, it seemed like magic.

As soon as he was old enough to be trusted with holding the bottles and the ingredients, he would readily help his parents mix together whatever the people needed. At night, he would take the books on medicine and read them under his covers.

Although a quiet and awkward kid, he knew a hell of a lot about Medicine early on, and it has stuck with him.

6. Bhaal loves money; did your Durge inherit that trait? Do they enjoy luxuries or try to live a frugal life, giving their all for their temple?

He is a sucker for a rich fabric or two. His favourite wine is Suzailian Sweet, so keeping that stocked up can get pretty pricey too. Whenever people come to Bhaal's temple with contracts, Kaidos will typically give himself the higher paying ones (under the excuse that he knows the Upper City better than most others in the temple do) and leave those in the Outer City/Rivington, etc. for lesser Bhaalians. His followers still got their fair share, but certainly not as much as Kaidos did.

After all, he is Bhaal's son.

12. Durge gave a gold coin to a beggar once; why did they do it? Did this occur regularly?

Despite how pampered he was in the temple, Kaidos could still remember what he was like before that time. In the time after his family was gone (by his own hands) but before the luxury of the temple, he did live in abject poverty.

Kaidos had personally been in that beggar's position before, so it really struck a chord with him to see others like that too. To know how bitter and unfeeling the city could be to others, to have been on the receiving end of such a cold shoulder.

The cocktail of feelings he would have felt at the time likely would have panicked him, knowing that the temple would not look favourably upon acts of charity to souls that would have otherwise gone unmissed.

Giving money away would not have been a common occurrence, but when it did happen, it was probably when Kaidos thought Sceleritas Fel wasn't looking.

Bonus/whichever one I want to pick: 9. What would a typical meeting of the chosen have looked like when your Durge attended?

I just wanna talk about them arguing again!!

By the point where they are Chosen and in Moonrise, Kaidos would have been insufferably bratty 'dont you know who my dad is' type of stuck up. Gortash would have found ways around that particular attitude (and probably ways to use it to his advantage to manipulate kai) but I really feel like Ketheric would not stand for it at all.

Kaidos with a nasty attitude, talking at rather than to other attendees of the meeting. Ketheric bluntly letting him know that shit doesn't fly under his roof. Gortash making small remarks to instigate and further encourage Kaidos. Kaidos taking the bait, and it ends up with Bhaal and Myrkul's Chosen arguing for the nth time.

Kaidos is very good at what he does, but he is absolutely awful to try and talk to unless your name is Enver Gortash and you figured him out on day one.

[hellostudybytech]

How to score high in the CA Foundation law paper

The CA Foundation law paper is a challenging exam for future Chartered Accountants, but it is essential to understand the basic business laws that are taught in the law paper. These include the Indian Contract Act of 1872, the Sale of Goods Act of 1930, the Indian Partnership Act of 1932, the Companies Act of 2013, and the LLP Act of 2008.

To prepare for the CA Foundation law paper, it is crucial to listen attentively and intelligently apply what you learn. Here are some tips to help you study:

1. Understand the concepts: Don't just memorize act details; have an idea of what those laws are like in real life. Once you get it in your head, you won't forget it.

2. Use visuals: Drawing diagrams and flowcharts can assist in remembering the structure of laws.

3. Revise regularly: Remember to go through the material you've thought of, especially the ICAI study material. The more you revisit, the lesser the chances of forgetting your memory.

4. Concentrate on the ICAI Study Material: Keep in mind that the examiners take the reference for the exam from the ICAI study Material only, and they will make questions from it.

5. Practice writing: Teaching how to write the answers is the essence of a teacher. Not only do you need to know the answer, but you also need to know how to present it.

6. Make simple notes: Do them in your own words, using book language but in simpler words.

7. Answer theory-based questions: Start with a definition: Always start by clearly defining the law or key terms.

8. Mention the sections (if you can): Just make sure to discuss the concept.

9. Keep it simple and organized: Organize your answer in a simple and easy-to-understand way by using bullet points or short paragraphs.

10. Add an example: A quick, simple example can really make your answer shine.

11. Be clear and concise: Don't write too much—just answer the question directly.

12. Answer case-study questions: Read the case carefully: Don't rush—make sure you understand all the details.

13. Identify the law: Once you've read the case, figure out which law or section applies.

14. Apply the law: Explain how the law fits the case.

15. Give a clear conclusion: End your answer with a straightforward conclusion that wraps everything up.

Why choose StudyByTech for CA Foundation law?

They provide an engaging session that will surely make you prepare better. They assure that students get the best environment to study and will be easily connected with their experienced faculty to discuss their doubts in both online and offline modes.

Parag Gupta sir, Director of StudyBytech, with over 20+ years of experience, ensures that all students shall not face any problem in understanding anything from CA Foundation to CA Final level.

Easy-to-follow videos: Our video lessons are super simple and easy to understand, so you won't feel lost.

Study at your own pace: Whether you're an early bird or a night owl, you can study whenever it suits you.

Convenient and affordable: StudyByTech provides top-notch training at a cost that is not very high.

In conclusion, getting high marks in the CA Foundation Law exam is easier than it sounds. The main thing is to grasp the laws, do exercises every day, and get disciplined. If you ever need even a little assistance, StudyByTech is there at your service.

[yungchaeng]

Hiiii how are you? I hope this week hasn’t been too tough on you, it sure was on me. But I wanted to ask what alt queer artists do you like listening to I’m always looking for new music and I feel like you have great taste-T

sorry to hear your week was the way it was :( mine wasn’t the greatest either but let’s look up to next week, I’m sure it’ll be better :))))

but until then, lets talk about music together, my favourite topic !!

okay, so AURORA is great, one of my favourite artists actually. You might know some songs of hers already like Runaway, but I'd recommend Conqueror, Forgotten Love, Heathens, or very specifically this performance. Also, she has such an interesting and fun personality. So if youre ever having a bad day, just watch an interview of hers like this one and im sure it'll bring a smile to your face :)

There's this youtuber that i used to watch religiously when i was a bit younger, and she's also such a cool musician. Her name is Ally Hills and my favorites songs by her are Not Now, Wrong and Woah. She also a multi-instrumentalist which ?? is so dope ??

another hugely talented multi-instrumentalist is Tash Sultana!! you should reaaally watch their live performance of Jungle. It's a one take, with a loop pedal and just guitar and daaamn. I also recommend Notion and Cigarettes

if you are into R&B vibes CHIKA is a very good one. I love her music, cause her voice is so smooooth. I recommend FWB and Songs About You!

I don't know if its the vibe you're looking for but i loveeeee KAYTRANADA. He's a producer and makes hiphop/house like beats?? anyways, its so good. I especially like Together, All We Do, Glowed up (especially from 02:55, i've been obsessed with that part for 6 years), and You're The One which features Syd that is also a very talented queer artist (i reccomend Out Loud (feat. Kehlani, another queer artist)

Syd was also in the band The Internet that has some bangers like Girl, Missin' You and Special Affair. And Steve Lacy, yet another queer artist (we love to see it), also makes very good music like C U Girl.

okay i really want to type and recommend more, but its enough :') I hope you enjoy the artists/songs and that you don't end up knowing all of them already 😂

recommend me some of your stuff as well, im curious!!

[edwardpinestar]

Hey! Sorry if this is a bit long, but honestly the short you posted in the SOLM Au is so wonderful, and gave me so many ideasl I could be very off base, but it seems to me like Death has/is acting very diffrently because of his love of Puss. That is, between Lightning and Spring, as well as how the other Immortals acting during the marriage, they don't seem to treat Death as dangerous or as powerful as he is, or as obessed like he clearly is. It makes me think, what if this wasn't shown in any past behavior? He only became like this specficially because of Puss? It doesnt excuse anything, but it makes it....sadder, perhaps. That Death has this (to him) really genuine love but its so Toxic and overwhelming. Sorry this isn't a proper ask, but i just had to mention it. I love that AU, (and all your works) so much

Avgbjji sorry for taking so long to answer this! And don't worry about sending a long ask, I love all asks for all my AUs.

TL;DR- This behaviour of Death's is quite new, and much of this behaviour is kept behind mostly shut doors. On top of that, the other gods don't really care about Puss, so if they notice, they keep to themselves. And while Death loves/believes he loves Puss, its in a very unhealthy 'I own you' and 'I want you to be something you're not and will change you to that' kind of way

However, to answer the sorta question here-

His behaviour towards Puss is both not something he's done before, and something that he keeps somewhat secret. He's never fallen in love or become infatuated with anyone before, so there is that for them underestimating his exact danger when it comes to Puss- they all certainly know he's dangerous, but he mostly kept to himself/didn't have much that could rile him up. And the way he treats Puss is kept behind closed doors. His violent behaviours towards Puss aren't ever displayed in front of other gods, the few times Death actually goes to a god meeting and brings Puss along with him, as Puss is behaving the way Death wants him to on these outings.

And if he is displaying abusive behaviours, or if Puss is displaying signs their relationship is abusive, the other gods... don't really care. Puss is just a half-mortal, as Spring called him, and as it was somewhat hinted at, that fact is looked upon with quite some derision. The matter of the fact is, most of them don't care, and keep their noses to themselves when it comes to Death.

I don't really ever go too far into this Death's reasoning and motivations- its quite a difficult thing to do, in all honesty.

But I can say, he does love Puss. Just not enough in the right ways. He loves parts of Puss, loves the idea of Puss, and will mould Puss to fit that image, however he needs to- and he chose rather violent ways to do so. He loves Puss, but that love isn't enough to stop him from trying to break Puss- or rather, that love is why he tries to break Puss, and turn him into exactly what Death wants. And why? Well, Death's never really been selfish before, so is it so wrong, this one time, that he is?

But despite how much he rationalises it to him, it is that wrong, because he chose to be violently selfish over a person.

Death is not a good person, in this AU, far from it. But his reasoning, at the most basic of levels, is frighteningly easy to emphasis with; the want to be selfish and take something which you really shouldn't, because you've sacrificed so much you feel you deserve something nice. But that reasoning loses all sympathy when the 'thing' in question is a person.

Sorry for how rambly this was, I just have a lot of thoughts about this AU, and they never seem to come out in a concise manner, haha. Thank you for the ask!

[yinses]

nanami kento ft. f! reader + lots of praise + soft dom nana + fingering + semi clothed sex + domestic au

rating: 18+ wc: 2.2k a/n: inspired by this fanart that sister yulia blessed me with. nanami supremacy for all. 

you take notice in the shift the moment he crosses the threshold. hair tousled and tie askew is nothing new to expect from your husband after a long day at work. he takes his job seriously and his goal to provide even more so, often sacrificing extra hours just to provide for more than what you ask.

he strived for a life of comfort, he’d told you before marriage. it was something he worked hard for prior to you and only doubled his efforts to ensure that future after putting a ring on your finger.

it wore down on him, adding maturity lines earlier than they should present themselves and taking away years he needed to give back to himself. but nanami kento was a man of consistency, even when those boundaries started to fracture.

you could feel the splinters echoing beyond the slam of the door closing shut from the kick of his heel. it rattles straight to your core as you stand there, held hostage by the stormy pools of blue staring down at you. his day had likely been another one of agitation piled on top of another. surely a cup of tea before dinner would help soothe the cracks of frustration.

though neither your lips could form the words nor could your feet cross the distance it took to move in any direction.

this plight was not a fault of your husband who stepped confidently in your direction, a single finger coming up to remove his tie all together.

“is dinner on the stove?”

your mind blanked at the question, frazzled at the sight of him handling his cuffs with practiced care as he set one gifted metal piece aside one after the other. you had a plan set in motion from the moment he kissed your forehead in departure that morning, but everything beyond that suddenly felt trapped.

lips stumbled over answers and your cheeks warmed at the foolish display. what had swept into your household to shift the mood so?

nanami appeared otherwise unaffected as he finished rolling up the last sleeve. his tongue darts out to wet his lips, capturing your fraying attention as he looks around you towards the kitchen. you think you see his nose twitch once before his gaze falls back down.

“i don’t smell anything burning.” his intentions are becoming increasingly clear as his hand comes up to cup your cheek, a single thumb swiping at the fullness of your lips before pressing against the corner. without a second thought, you part them.

it provides a catalyst that gets you pressed against the nearest wall with one wrist pinned near the frame displaying your wedding day.

when his lips lower, you crane your neck in response only to have them stop just short of a whisper. his breath ghosts a trail down the exposed column of your throat, nose edge the line of your jaw. you swear you feel him smile against the shiver of anticipation rattling your form.

“i would like to fuck you in this hallway, if that’s alright, darling?” the thumb still trapped between your teeth, presses down against your tongue as if to prompt an answer yet he doesn’t pause for one.

“i’ve already put in a request for the cleaners to come and groom the rug tomorrow so you’ll need not to worry about that.”

your toes curl against the fine woven carpet at your feet, nerves tingling at the premeditated situation that you’ve found yourself in. your husband, who was now suckling soft blooms under your chin, had taken time out of his day to schedule a clean up for the mess he planned to make out of you. the idea made your knees go weak.

nanami chuckled knowingly as he caught your descent with the sharp line of his hips. “i imagine that’s agreeable with you, wife?”

the hasty nod of your head dislodges his finger, but he’s quick to replace it with his lips. the kiss is all consuming as his tongue slips between the seam, allowing you to taste the moan from his lips.

you may as well have had the script, dressed perfectly for the role as his knee nudges between your thigh and ride up the edge of your summer dress. he tells you all the time that you don’t need to try, that you look pretty in anything. but you like to go the extra mile. painting your lips a nice shade at home just to smear it in the passion of his kisses.

you know he appreciates it too. an inviting contrast to the mundane office view at work.

the same hand falls from the cut of your jaw to drag the hem of your dress up the ascent of your thigh. you’re more proud than embarrassed when his fingers tap against the tacky wet spot at the front of your panties.

his tongue clicks against the top of his mouth, “played with yourself while i was away again?” a firm swipe up followed by a press inward has you keening. “or did you just miss me this much?”

“yes.”

it’s both an answer and a cry for attention. a meaningless wail that meets no need of a man who would fracture the world to build you one better.

“my pretty little angel, it must be so hard when i’m away.”

he follows the panty line, teasing the sensitive skin there. the rumbling laugh you receive when your hips jerk in response makes your heart flutter. you’re still riding the tremors of your excitement when he nudges aside the lace of your panties to push a finger inside.

the intrusion meets minimal resistance as he slides from the first knuckle to the next. he still takes it as slow as your initial night, pumping in and out with care before adding a second. all the while, he peppers your face with kisses and words of adoration. nanami moves his thumb to flick over your nub before pressing down hard until you cry out.

pretty, beautiful, gorgeous, mine, are all formations of adoration that he mutters against your skin while he unravels you thread by thread.

“take it, darling, i’ll give you another.”

he utters a low curse at the sharp keening sound, enthralled by how your body trembled as he worked his fingers deeper. nanami lowered his head back to the junction of your shoulder, where he flicked his tongue against the feverish skin. your high whines and small gasps encouraged him to pick up the pace, hips rocking against yours with the precipice of something more, yet he ignored the growing discomfort in his pants to focus all the different ways your mouth formed his name.

his teeth mark your skin, where they tenderly nipped and sucked, leaving fresh marks while you twisted in his hold. you emit a shuddering cry, nails raking over his skin as your body pulls tight as a bow string. the shaky breath lining your lips forms a mantra of his name, over and over until the tremors ebb away. what remains are shaky legs that nearly slump over, caught by your husband as he follows you to the ground.

still floating down from your high, you could vaguely make out the sounds of nanami sucking off his fingers, removing them with lasciviously loud pops. when your gaze eventually focuses, you find him waiting with an eager, seductive smirk.

“ready for me then?”

swallowing a sharp inhale, you nod.

hands heading down to the zipper of his pants, nanami pulled it down and shrugged the material away to free his cock. one hand grabbing himself and the other reached for your left leg which he threw over his shoulder. you immediately try to grind down, slippery lips colliding with warm flesh.

“thought about you all day while i was at work.” nanami purrs breathily with half-lidded eyes, taking in the sight before he would take you to heaven. “thinking about how you would feel around me and mad with pleasure.”

his hand reaches for yours, capturing the digits and bringing them to his lips. he takes his time, allowing his tongue to glide up and down your fingers before kissing your palm, murmuring heated words against them; “thought about our wedding night… those twisted sheets wrung dry”

you feel his hips roll once, probing slightly, before he jerks forward and grunts at the overflowing heat engulfing him. still reeling from your first, your body was pliant and gracious while he chased his. your chest heaved up and down as you tried to calm your breathing while lips continued to release indecent moans.

his grip slides down to your wrists, pressing them above your head into the rug as he adjusted over you. there was an unmistakable provocative outline in his lust-darkened blue eyes. the blonde’s lips meshed intricate patterns against your cheeks, moving downward to capture your lips in a tight needy kiss that made nanami twitch even further.

it made his last strand of self-restraint snap before he met you stroke for stroke, grounding down on you deeply. your lips broke apart with a loud cry that milked with a following angled push as he snatched at your other leg to wrap around his waist. his movements were perfectly concise, designed to make you lose control with the potent effect of his affections.

picking up the pace when your high whines turned into full-blown moans, he inhaled sharply and choked out as coherently as he could,”together, darling, meet me there. i know you can.”

then he shifted on his knees slightly, that brought on a new change in the angle as he continued thrusting deeper, watching how your head thrashed from side to side and you repeatedly arched against him, trying to meet his every move. the delectable bead of sweat that ran down your throat was promptly licked up by the blonde as he sucked on your pulse.

his hands were ever so helpful in guiding your hips as he slowed down his speed to a torturous beat, rolling his hips in deeply to tease the edge. he knew where the peak was, hovering just at the horizon as he marched gradually up the hill. nanami was practiced in the art of getting you there, watching as your spine arched to accommodate is languid yet deep drives.

“ ‘m there, kenny-please”

it was silenced with on of his brain-numbing kisses again as he captured your lips. you could feel the slight curve of his mouth as he pulled out almost fully, making you slutter in the middle of your kiss.

“that’s it, “ he hissed, loving how you pant his name with each of his thrust, trying to manage coherency past how tightly you clenched around him. “we’re there baby. take me with you.”

nanami could feel himself losing control with your begging, fitfully aware you were going to tumble over the edge with him right behind. he abruptly accelerated his thrusts once more, bringing you to meet him sharply. each time he struck, he made sure that he prodded that spot that would drive you frenzied and wild, gazing in satisfaction as you squirmed harder under his skilled touches.

“c-come now, love.” he grunted, phishing past all bounds as he rammed into you repeatedly, losing himself to the sensation crawling up his skin. “do it. be good for me, princess.”

your head twisted and turned as your mouth hung open. vision getting lost in the blinding white. body growing weaker. as if determined to break you entirely, his hand traveled down your navel to come between your joined bodies. expert fingers quickly found you clit as he rolled it between his thumb and forefinger, coaxing you to let go of everything as he whispered lewd thoughts into your ear.

“k-kenny!”

that was all the warning he had when your toes curled and he could feel your walls spasm around him. the flow of sensations ignited his nerves, left to surrender as you became impossible tighter around him, jerking him into his own release as well. a hiss was all he could manage as he slammed into you, shuddering through his climax.

the world exploded into a disarray of hues as he slumped forward, bracing a single arm above your figure while he panted heavily through euphoria.

“bad day at work?” you manage to get out.

he grunts at first, a small sound of misunderstanding before the mutual foggy haze lifts to prompt clarity. a breathy chuckle leaves him.

“never a bad day with you in my life. just missed you is all.” his words are slightly slurred, much unlike your husband but very a keen to a man on the verge of undeniable sleep.

dinner could wait.

“why don’t we take an early evening nap and have dinner in bed later?”

who could deny that?

you get a slow kiss of affirmation in return.

[parkers-gal]

yay! okay so I was thinking, what I'd the reader and Tom had a fight, could be over anything, but the reader was pregnant and a few years after, they bump into each other and they get back together. Sorry if it doesn't make sense.

this has been sitting in my inbox for a fat couple of months… sorry 😭

wc: 1.7k ! <3

—

“No, because you’re selfish and you can’t handle the fact that my life doesn’t revolve around you and your needs.” Tom spits out the words angrily, viciously, voice harsh and crisp.

You’re both frustrated beyond belief, and the bubble that had been overblown had finally popped, splattering your relationship and all the joyful aspects of it. Right now, you felt as if all that was left was the toxicity of two unbearable people who happened to love each other. You knew, deep down, that you loved each other enough to get through this, but with every passing moment, with every exchanged word, you realized at least one of you wouldn’t survive the damage.

“No, Tom. You’re selfish. You’re conceited and you only care about being a goddamn movie star. What happened to the family man, huh? What happened to staying tied down with me and your brothers?”

“Nothing happened to him! I’m still that person. I am a family guy.”

“Not to me, you aren't.”

“Well you’re not family!” He seethes through his teeth, anger radiating off of his short-tempered demeanor. You don’t even know how to react, so you spend the time soaking in the situation and how you should respond instead of actually doing it.

“You’re a fucking jackass. I asked when I could spend time with you and now you don’t even consider me as part of the family.”

“No,” He’s clear and concise even through the anger. “You asked when I’m going to stop living my life.”

“I said no such thing.”

“You didn’t have to! We both know that’s what you meant.”

“You’re not even on the same page as me anymore,” You scoff, arms crossing. “Seems like all this time in Hollywood made you forget that you’re not always the main character.”

“Fuck that, Y/N! Fuck! That!”

“No, Tom. Fuck. You.” You over-express your emotions, and after two more minutes of unbearable silence and screaming, he’s leaving your apartment just as fast as he arrived. You’re in shock, fingers shaking while you clear your throat, which is frayed and sore from all the yelling.

You sit back, elbows on your knees while your hands smoothen out your forehead. Tear after tear escapes your sobbing body, and eventually, you fall asleep on the couch.

In the weeks to come, you’ve realized the blow-out of a breakup could’ve been handled so much differently, but Tom hasn’t seemed to cool down at all — he’s petty enough to unfollow you on all social media, and you figure it’s time to let the hatred be mutual. You don’t touch your imessages, however, letting the love in those texts linger for a little longer.

Before you know it, you’re throwing up into the toilet boil, coughing violently at the action and spitting the bitter taste as best you can. You clean up, and when you check your phone, a small notification from your period tracker app alerts you that this is the second period in a row that has gone by without a hello.

Worried, you call Aisha, your closest friend and confidant. She’s over in no time, bringing along her girlfriend while you rant on the phone about your worries. They stop at the drugstore on the way.

The cause of your problems is discovered that day, and you collapse on the bathroom floor in agony, hands wiping at your face — through all the anger and fear and worry, you still love Tom. So much that Aisha even attempts to call Tom. But, alas, it’s sent straight to voicemail, and you realize he might’ve gone to extreme extents in blocking everyone.

You’re stuck going to the ultrasound with two lesbians and a frail old cat. Aisha is as supportive as ever, but as the doctor explains the process of each option, you feel sicker and sicker about the idea of getting rid of the fetus. In the end, you choose to keep the child you’re bearing, even if your ex-lover isn’t even in the picture.

Inevitably, the months pass, and as baby Charlie is brought into the wonderful world, you realize life as a single mother isn’t as scary as you thought it would be. In the first few months of your pregnancy, you’d kept tabs on what film Tom was doing and which was coming out next, but after the hormones and cravings, you’d decided to let the past sizzle and fade out in the way it was meant to all along.

It’s been almost three years since that fateful breakup, and Charlie is just reaching two and a half years old. You’re still single, and you’re okay with that. Charlie is all you need, all you’ve ever wanted, and the most important thing in your life. He’s young, and school is still a couple years away, but you enjoy having the toddler by your side, walking hand in hand with you because you’re his guardian, his provider, his only parent. You make him your only priority, because you don’t want him to grow up without anyone to love, or anyone to love him.

It’s hard, though. It’s hard because he’s a constant reminder of what didn’t happen, a constant reminder of what went wrong and of what you no longer have. You miss Tom more than words can express, and Charlie’s mop of brown curls reminds you of all the moments you’d run your fingers through Tom’s hair. You reminisce more than you’d like to, about Tom and your past, and though Charlie is technically half of the Brit, he’s one hundred percent yours. Because you’re the only one here, and that’s alright.

“Mummy,” Charlie tugs on your shirt’s hem while you move the shopping cart forward through the aisle. “Can we get the goldfish with superheroes?”

You jutt your lip out in a smile, nodding happily. “Of course we can, bub.”

As you step forward, you pit stop in the aisle, nearly tripping on the cart. You make direct eye contact with the man you used to love with your entire heart. The man who walked out with your heart and never gave it back. He’s staring right back at you, curls looking as fluffy as ever, face still a soft glow. Your breath hitches, and it’s then that you realize Charlie is still talking.

“Mummy?” He asks, and it’s just loud enough for Tom to hear. Harry, who’s beside Tom with an arm full of crackers and chips. Tom moves forward a few steps, hastily in an attempt to get more information.

“Uh, hi,” His smile is tight lipped as he stands at the other end of your shopping cart. Charlie shies away from strangers, standing behind your leg and holding your shirt with his grubby hands.

“Hi,” you return his awkward, reserved demeanor.

“Mummy who’s this?”

“‘Mummy?’” Tom has a follow up question for everything, and you internally panic, unsure on how to approach this.

You’d spent so long deciding how you should tell Tom that he was a dad. You spent hours debating on if you should pick up the phone or drive over just to tell him a truth you’ve kept inside for so long. You’ve abandoned social media, only sharing aspects of your life you can afford to post. Charlie is only occasionally on your page, but it’s not like Tom would see that, not after all that’s happened.

Your mouth opens and closes while you debate on how to reply. You’re physically incapable of saying your response, and it makes you even more nervous. You’re nervous on how he might react, what he’ll say, but most importantly, if he’ll stay.

“Is this…?

“My kid…” You fill in. “I- I mean our… our kid.” You pull your bottom lip between your rows of teeth, and you watch as Tom’s face undergoes thousands of expressions all at once. He’s surprised, shocked, happy, afraid, uncertain. You want the world to swallow you whole, suck you up so you don’t have to go through any of this again. But you don’t. Instead, you hold Charlie’s hand a little tighter.

“Our kid?” He drops a can of soup and you flinch at the loud noise.

“Mummy, who’s that?”

“That’s…” You don’t know how to answer his question. Instead, you lean down to his level, comfortingly and gently. “He’s a man.”

“Who’s that man?”

“He’s… your daddy.”

“I thought… no daddy?”

You purse your lips and furrow your brows. Tom’s watching the entire encounter from his place, but after a few beats, he steps forward, entering your bubble. Charlie doesn’t cower away this time, but looks up in curiosity.

“Hi, Charlie,” Tom extends his hand, adjusting his jeans so he can lean down just as you are, kneeling beside the young boy.

You look down, avoiding your worries and Tom’s gaze. He’s tearing up, and you want to cry too. You’re in a fucking supermarket, for god’s sake. This wasn’t how you envisioned any of this planning out, and though you’re mentally kicking yourself for letting it happen this way, you can’t help but feel like maybe this was meant to be. Written in the stars or whatever the folks say — you’re just grateful Charlie has at least a sliver of hope for two parents. Not that you can’t handle it, because you can, but you know someone like Tom wouldn’t want to miss something as important as this.

“I’m To- I’m…” He swallows thickly, making brief eye contact with you before looking back at Charlie. “I’m your dad.”

“Do you love my mummy?” He’s not shameless, but he’s still that shy little boy. “My friend says daddy’s love mommy’s so you must love mine, right?”

Tom lets a tear fall while he exhales a chuckle. He swipes the drop with the tips of his fingers, and the hand gripping Charlie’s squeezes it a little tighter. A glance in your direction is all it takes for him to answer Charlie’s question. “Yeah, buddy. I do.”

want more? my masterlist.

taglist tingz :) 🏷️  want to join? fill out this form.

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[wordsnstuff]

Guide to Drafting

Patreon || Ko-Fi || Masterlist || Work In Progress

–

Planning v. Discovery

The first thing you must decide when you embark on the journey of drafting a story is how you’re going to get it done. Typically, there are two groups you can fit into, though most writers are somewhere in between. There are writers who plan meticulously before they begin writing to create a very clean first draft, or there are discovery writers (otherwise known as “pantsers”) who find more success in choosing a premise and then using a zero draft to explore the idea before gluing down any details. You are most likely someone who falls between those two methods. Some initial planning to feel familiar with your idea before you do some of the planning through the writing itself. Having some semblance of a method will help you narrow down your own process, which is immensely important if you want to get any substantial project near completion.

Consistency

Drafting is a difficult process because it’s either the revisitation of ideas you’ve already had, or the generations of ideas in quick succession. If you want to have a draft in a reasonable amount of time, you must develop a consistency in your writing. I won’t say that it must be a strict routine because time management can be a luxury, but you must make the consistent effort to write, and keep it in the forefront of your mind. Even if you don’t write every day, it should be something you try to make time for every day.

Know What You’re Trying to Accomplish

To get a draft done, you need to set expectations for yourself and they must be realistic. That doesn’t mean they have to be easy, or an amount of work you’ve been able to accomplish in the past. Considering how much time you dedicate to writing and your skillset, it should be a goal within reality. In addition, you must accept that you cannot create a masterpiece in one draft. For each version of your story that you write, you must have a focused goal, such as maintaining consistent characterization, making the plot concise and engaging, or making the prose more fluid and efficient. If you have a specific and attainable goal that you can accomplish in a reasonable amount of time with a fair amount of precision, each draft will be better than the last.  

Designate Work to Phases

As mentioned in the last section, it maximizes your time and effort to have specific and attainable goals for each draft. This doesn’t mean that you rewrite the draft each time (though that is very common amongst writers), but that you designate tasks to draft versions. I find it very helpful in clearing my mind and soothing my perfectionist anxiety to make a “schedule”, outlining what I’ll accomplish in each version following the zero draft. For example, my draft schedules usually end up something like this:

Zero Draft: Main plot line, basic characterization, key world building

First Draft: Finalize Timeline, research for world building, structure

Second Draft: (Rewrite) Plot Development Fine Tuning

Subplot development

Foreshadowing

Build up to climaxes

Tone & Pace

Third Draft: (Intermittent Rewrites) Character Development Fine Tuning

Backstory

Subtextual Development

Making sure motivations are clear

Relationships between characters

Reinforcing character arcs

Checking dialogue

Fourth Draft: (Give to Beta Readers) World Building & Prose

Descriptions & Flow

Finalize settings

Checking grammar & punctuation

Reader Immersion

Fifth Draft: Incorporate Beta Reader Feedback

Write for Yourself First

In what some call the “zero-draft”, there are no rules. This draft is purely for your eyes. It’s you telling yourself the story for the first time. So, you don’t have to write in chronological order, or know the right word you’re looking for, or take a break every time you run into a problem. The purpose of the zero draft is to get a rough idea of as much of the story as you can and avoid getting snagged on minor details. This part is important. A lot of writers like to outline meticulously before they begin drafting and if that works for you, that’s great, but the majority of writers who attempt that get stuck in the planning phase, or burnt out on their story before a word of it exists. The easiest way to avoid those two situations is to do a zero draft, which can be as long or short as you want if it provides a skeleton for you to add meat to later.

Common Struggles

~ How do you estimate the number of words/chapters?... That depends on the genre, mostly. However, that’s usually something you decide in the second draft and beyond, and it can vary because of factors you haven’t got locked down until the plot and character arcs are firm or final. This is also something you’ll probably do a lot of tinkering with, and receive feedback on, especially from beta-readers, who can advise you on where natural breaks could occur from their perspective.

~ Why, after planning everything out, do I always struggle to write the draft?... 99% of the time, it’s because you’ve either burned yourself out, or accumulated too much pressure. When you put that much effort and time into a story, you can either slip into a headspace where you feel little excitement about it because you’ve already done all of the problem solving and had all of the revelations. It’s usually beneficial at this stage to take a step back (even if you’re not burnt out) and give your story some space, so that once you come back to it, you’re enthusiastic enough to fully realize your vision. If instead you’re struggling to write because you feel a lot of pressure to do justice for a story you’ve put so much love into already, take a step back, remember that the first draft is just for you, and work on letting go of the idea that the zero draft is meant to serve any purpose beside simply existing. 

~ How do I come up with the necessary scenes to move the story forward between major plot points?... Most writing problems can be solved by asking yourself the right questions. When you’re trying to figure out what your reader needs to see next in order to effectively set up the next major event, ask yourself “What would happen between event A and event B that would add context or make event B more impactful?”. Treat it like a real situation and try to map out all of the tiny, notable moments that would take place between the major plot points, and then assess those moments on the basis of how impactful they would be to the coming scenes, and whether they can add context, set the tone, or aide in the rising action.

~ How do I balance sticking to the draft and following my own creative instinct in the moment?... This is a judgement call. Sometimes you’ll realize that maybe you should have just stuck to the outline, but remember that you can always go back, rewrite, test things out, etc. Always save every version of every scene, just in case, and go wild. Don’t be afraid to take detours just to explore. The writing process is anything but linear. 

~ How do I maintain momentum in my writing progress when I constantly have distractions or other responsibilities that take priority?... Work at it. There’s no magic trick or piece of advice I could say that gets rid of your personal responsibilities. Write when you can, don’t make excuses on top of the reasons you have no control over, and remember that you create your own deadlines and expectations. Be kind to yourself, do what you can, and don’t spend potential writing time punishing yourself because there isn’t as much as you’d like. 

~ How should I designate space (words/pages) to specific scenes/description/conversations, etc?... Trust your instinct and remember you can always cut/add later. In the earlier drafts, I’d advise you try to create as much material as possible to work with, and in the later drafts, be ruthless when determining what is necessary and adds value, and what doesn’t.

~ How do I finish a draft if I regularly lose motivation or interest in my projects?... Accept the fact that motivation is fickle, and that no writer in history has ever maintained “inspiration” for any project from the beginning to the end. There are going to be days where you’re like “ugh this is not what I want to do right now”, probably more than there are days where you’re stoked to work on your project, but that’s reality. If your goal is to finish a draft, you must recognize that writing is work, and nobody wants to work all the time. Try to supplement the lack of motivation by setting a positive and enjoyable routine so that, even when you’re not particularly motivated, you still know that your writing time will be peaceful and comfortable. 

–

Masterlist | WIP Blog

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[desiderii-fic]

For the writer asks (there were so many good ones! I had to limit myself!!): 💫 🌈 💕 🕯️

I don't...interact much because I am very shy, but :points at eyes, points at you:. You are a delight and I need you to know that I appreciate you immensely. Whenever I see your name pop up around this tumblr, it always encourages me. :)

The questions tho!

💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

Honestly, I'm delighted by every kind of comment so I have...less of 'favorites' and more of 'kinds that stick out in my memory'? And those kinds are 1) 'reread' comments that state or imply that they're leaving this on their second+ time back (!!!), 2) the 'I am commenting on every chapter because I am very enthusiastic' comments that I am always so shy about replying to, and the 3) rambles. I REALLY adore rambles, because sometimes they're not very coherent, which I find just...really delightful and charming. They're just full of stuff that someone liked and give me a little glimpse into the person who left it.

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

Oh, yes! The entire fic of Our Corners Start To Curving 'Til We Shine. It's set in the John Wick universe, but after the second movie and before the third, so it's a little older and I'm sure no longer canon compliant. It's all OCs since it was for a worldbuilding challenge and it's one of my shortest fics, too, so you wouldn't think it would be anything special, but it was a deliberate exercise in writing something short, sharp, and concise that was also a complete and finished story. At the time, those traits made the writing style an active departure from my regular style (...in 2018, wow. It feels like much longer ago.). I was stepping out of my comfort zone on purpose, and I'm deeply pleased about how it came out. Finishing it and polishing it up affected my writing style in a lot of ways, tbh, and made me a better writer in general. My fics before it are in some ways denser and more sprawling and my fics after it are planned tighter and with an eye toward using a limited page more effectively.

💞what’s the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

I think this is the double heart one that you mean! The most important bit, for me, is the interactions between characters. So a little bit of character, a little bit of plot, a little bit of dialogue, but most specifically all of it revolving around how characters respond and react to one another, because that's where I find the most crunch to explore when I write. There's a...it's sort of a vibrating tension between the lines/characters when I get it right, and that's something that I specifically chase whenever I'm setting words down on the page. When the note is hit just right, I can feel it like a shiver somewhere in the vicinity of my emotions, and I'm always hoping that it comes through even just a little to a reader.

🕯️how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you’re not a social person/experience social anxiety?

(ETA: oh shit there are two candles? If you were thinking the other one, ping me and I'll answer that instead? Ahha.) Oh! This is such an interesting question (if a bit leading, lol, I hadn't noticed that before trying to answer it). I'm bad at interaction and engagement because I'm definitely in the 'shy' and 'tired' categories, but it's... I think interaction is a big part of what makes fic and fanart and other fandom stuff into play. I share things I'm enthusiastic about. I take them apart and put them together and tell stories about them and then save the results for later. I CAN do it on my own, and I honestly write more because I can't get ideas out of my head than I do because I need interaction about them, but it's a deliberate choice for me to make the Stuff I'm Getting Out Of My Head into something for the community. Because I want to participate in the sandbox everyone else is playing in, because that's where the people are, and I like people. Plus, half the fun is yes-anding, or finding someone with a wildly different interpretation that you think you could make something out of, or getting a new angle off of something you would never have thought of otherwise because of your particular lived experience vs their particular lived experience. Without interacting, you get YOU out of it, but you don't get anyone else, and I find a great deal of joy in the fact that other people are producing NEW stuff about a thing I love. So. The thing with me is that I'm super reserved, and the 'shy and tired' means I'm more likely to go 'ah, I simply cannot just now' and make a mental note to respond at some later date (andthenIdidn't_johnmulaney.gif). So I don't...honestly interact much as a creator. I interact way, way more as an audience member. Which, from the PoV of a creator, I think is pretty dang valuable, yanno? But I do what I can in a more...hrm. So, I reblog things I like, I comment when I have the bandwidth, and I don't stress about how I as an individual am somehow be responsible for aggregate trends in not commenting or something. All this is play: I join the game when I can and don't sweat when I can't. (I also have a vague tangent about how the ability to be seen and found by literally the whole world instead of a small niche subcommunity has made everything just...so much different, but I think that's for another time. :))

Thank you so much for the ask, @opalynne!

[cowboyhorsegirl]

End/Start of the year! Means it’s time for an end of year self rec list! If you want.

A top 3-5 list OR rank all the fics you have done this year in a full, completely arbitrary, ranked list of all the ones from this year! Would love to hear your thoughts on your own work :)

Is it too late to answer this or does the almost-end of February still count as "the start of the year" lol

In any case, this was my first year writing fanfic! Writing any fiction at all even, save for the obligatory short-lived YA dystopian novel series my friends and I outlined in the 6th grade together. All that said, I've loved SteveTony for close to a decade now, and I really, really loved getting to explore them even more through my own writing. I'm very excited to practice and create more for them over the coming year :)

Hands down, my favorite fic that I wrote last year was Paradise Blue in 1872, which was written in a fugue state three days after reading the 1872 comics and promptly devouring all the existing 1872 fic on ao3. I love the 1872 verse so dearly (it was the first comic I ever read! biiiiig year for docdracula fandom firsts in 2022), and I had a lot of fun imagining what the nature of Steve's feelings towards Tony might have been before the actual events of the story began. I hadn't really intended to make Steve's devotion to Tony a conceit for religion, but religion tends to come up naturally in my writing a bit anyways so I just leaned into it extra hard for this one. Paradise is definitely the fic I reread the most from my own work by a very large margin, and I think it's some of my best writing, so I'd highly recommend it (and bonus! you don't need to know anything about the 1872-verse to enjoy & understand it other than the fact that Steve is a postbellum cowboy sheriff and that Tony likes to sing to him outside his jailhouse).

Lie de The (Memory Serves Me) is another favorite of mine, a kind of concise summation of the events of Phases 1-3 of the MCU from Tony's 2nd-person POV. I quite enjoyed the more poetic meter and the repeating phrases in this fic. I remember writing this fic in chronological order, largely over the course of one afternoon, and I recall delighting in trying to tie together the later sections with motifs I'd introduced in the earlier ones. It was also a treat to have an idea that I wanted to develop from Tony's POV. I tend to gravitate towards writing Steve's POV, and as far as I'm aware, the only times I've ever written Tony's POV have been in 2nd person. Let's not examine that too closely.

Ralph Waldo Emerson Twilight is another fic that I both loved writing and enjoy rereading! I just feel like there aren't nearly enough stories out there about Steve and Morgan, and more broadly, stories that focus on the fact that Steve has known three different generations of Starks. I feel like there's definitely a lot of inspiration there to wrestle with, if anyone was so inclined to explore those relationships and the way they interconnect further. This was just my small contribution to that endeavor. (And fun fact! The title comes from this ink. The color changes from dusky blue to a deep vibrant mauve with each additional layer of saturation. New meaning with repeating timelines and lifetimes and what not, you know?)

Burn Baby, Burn. I just get a kick out of this one lol. It came to me almost completely fully-formed in an almost divine revelation as I myself was applying sunscreen one morning during the SteveTonyGames. Also make sure you all are wearing sunscreen all year long & don't forget to reapply every couple of hours throughout the day xoxo <3

Stuff Happens was purely a self-indulgent AU of a bollywood movie I used to watch several times a week between the critical ages of like 3-6 years old and which definitely dealt me some form of queer awakening the likes of which I would not be consciously privy to until high school. It was a fun time stevetonifying it :) I will say I know for a fact that this one is criminally underrated bc for the first 12 hours it was up, I had fucked up the tags (Steve Rogers & Tony Stark instead of Steve Rogers/Tony Stark :/ ). So if you're interested in some college AU fluff, I can almost 100% guarantee that you haven't read this one yet.

Blue Black. Another 2nd person Tony Stark POV fic, this time set in the aftermath of 1872. I'll be honest, I only wrote this fic because the line "But so too do his handprints still paint your hips from the last time he touched you." popped into my head unbidden and I couldn't just not do something with that.

I'm putting Growth, Freshly Squeezed Sunshine, and Stand By Me all in the same category of fics I'm happy to have written but that I personally do not revisit at all. These are all stories that I don't think I executed as well as I could have, but I'm glad that there are other people out there who have enjoyed reading them <3 Extra love goes to Growth because it was my first fic, I wrote and uploaded it the day I got my ao3 account, which is certainly a fond memory for me. :)

Thanks for the ask anon! Here's to many more years of writing! <3

[we-return-in-waves]

10, 15, 20, 29 for ao3 wrapped o.o

sdfhfdkgh i wish i knew who you were my beloved anon <3

answers below the cut xoxo

10. What work was the quickest to write?

spoken words by a landslide. i've talked about this before, but that fic, start to finish, maybe took me 5 - 6 hours at most. i had exactly one scene marinating in my head with no contect for a month ("Lee comes to Sunagakure, and Gaara comes to him in the dead of night." and associated like... four lines) and i was like hey uh brain what do with this? then one sunday i brained the summary text, took a nap, woke back up, and wrote the entire fic in one go. what you see on the archive is essentially it, i sat on it for two days looking for edits and just didn't feel like it needed any. one and done babey!

15. What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

god there's SO MANY HELP. but with exclusively wips i've actually done work for, here's the list: from these bones, untethered, my insidious au, sing a song of sleeptide, a fluffy 5+1 things about sleeping together, The Grapes of Debauchery, another explicit comedy fic about drunken shenanigans, if it's the last night of your life, a one-night-stand-has-results fic, and my untitled enemies to lovers longfic based on the video game ghost of tsushima.

20. Which work of yours have you reread the most?

skfhdkgh We Don't Talk About Fight Club for sheer volume of editing, i think. there was a point where it's the only wip i looked at, every single day, for months. i probably put more work into that fic than i did my master's thesis. i've probably read it over a hundred times and that's not an exaggeration, i can probably recite parts of it. i still reread it occasionally, i'm very proud it (plus like. art. pls, how can u not just keep looking???)

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

how dare u ask me to Pick One. i cannot do this, instead u are getting several of my faves. rekt

from spoken words:

Lee is brave. But Lee is not fearless.

no ok so like there's a LOT of lines in spoken words that i think smash it out of the ballpark and deserve line-of-the-year status, but this one is special because it beautifully encapsulates lee's entire character in under 10 words. the brevity! i will never be so concise ever again

from sailing stones

“You – you do not find me unattractive, like this?” Lee whispered. I have never once thought you anything but beautiful, Gaara thought to himself. For a moment, they remained, suspended in time, the world blurring to nothing around them. Gaara brushed his lips over Lee’s, once. Twice. Chakra crackled, electric in the space between them. “Gaara…?” And Lee, the paragon of formality, breathed his name with no honorific, so low Gaara wondered if he’d imagined it on an exhale, and the moment was so intimate it bordered on painful, tipping them both over a precipice across which there would never be any return.

ok so this was one of those bits where i wrote that last line, looked at it, announced out loud, "fuck yeah, i wrote that," then proceeded to treat myself to oreos. i fully stand by this today. sailing stones my first child, i love u dearly and will edit u soon, but this piece won't be touched. i feel like it captures the feeling of the whole fic exactly how i wanted it to.

from We Don't Talk About Fight Club (length warning but it's all short lines)

“So… you did fuck,” Naruto said gleefully. “Who topped?” “Naruto!” Sakura stage-whispered, appalled. “What? I always thought Bushy Brow kinda had like, bottom energy, ya know?” Sai’s face went suddenly curious, and he pulled out a notebook from seemingly nowhere in an action that reminded Kankurō creepily of Lee. He asked, weirdly polite, “Is this ‘bottom energy’ a mutually recognisable feeling between those with a proclivity towards that position? Because Sasuke is always the penetrating partner when you two fuck, Naruto.” Hot damn. The table went eerily silent again. Naruto inhaled his water and came up sputtering. “That… how the fuck do you—no. No. We’re talking about Gaara and Bushy Brow right now! Anyway, Gaara?” “That…” Gaara said sedately, returning to his lunch, his sand silent, all his composure returned, “is not your business.” Kankurō filed away that tidbit of information to snicker at later, returning to focus on his brother. Gaara wasn’t tall enough to bone someone on a kitchen table comfortably, and now that he thought about it, that crater on Lee’s kitchen table looked a lot like a handprint… “Please at least tell me you were responsible and used protection,” Temari asked, one hand rubbing her temple like she was in pain. … Gaara had been walking slow all day, had barely moved in his seat, and he’d definitely winced at least once this morning… The answering silence told everyone far, far too much. …oh man… “Gaara!” Temari scolded. …his little brother… “I mean, does it matter? Sai confirmed they both have dicks, they probably can’t knock each other up,” Naruto said, still laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes now. …Gaara of the Desert… “You can still. Get. Herpes!” Sakura shrieked. …the Kazekage of Sunagakure… Naruto looked at her, skeptical. “If Bushy Brow has herpes, I’ll eat Gaara’s Kage hat. You think he’s actually piped anyone before?” …had let a foreign ninja… Temari choked on her tea. …had let fucking Rock Lee… “Oh my gods, Naruto, I’m making you sit through Sex Ed again, did you learn nothing!?” …green jumpsuit enthusiast Rock Lee… “Hey, at least the lube we gave him for his last birthday would have come in handy!” Naruto chortled, completely ignoring his teammate. …bowlcut Rock Lee… Sakura sighed. “I’m sorry to ask this,” she said to Gaara, “but as a medic… please tell me whatever lubricant you used was sealed in a white tube with a yellow label? If it was, that’s the one we got him , and it wouldn’t be expired, since that was only a few months ago.” …who wore orange fucking legwarmers... Gaara nodded to her. She nodded back, as pink as her hair. …rail him over a kitchen table. That was so fucking funny he was going to shit—

ok so this passage i think is the absolute most Chaotic Stupid piece in the whole megadong anime crackfic extravaganza and that's exactly the energy i wanted to convey. i loved writing from kankuro's pov because i basically use him to write from My POV so it's just dumbass hours all day, plus naruto is just an absolute meme in this fic and i love it. bonus points to me for including 1(one) brooklyn99 reference. i will never be this funny again i wasted all my life savings of comedy on this one fkcmdngnldgjd fic

and finally, from in the space between:

Pressed between their bodies in Gaara’s coat pocket, a pale jade ring, inlaid with a delicate, winding ribbon of Gaara’s chakra-infused sand, burns like a star.

not only does this line out me as have fiance fever because i was thinking about the ring im shopping around for when i wrote it, but also SOMFT, and i think it's the most stunning ending line i've written for it's simplicity, though in context it answers multiple questions and completely changes what the scene means when you read it again. and i will use it to end my really long answers! hope u enjoyed thank u for enabling me xoxo

ask me things, ao3 wrapped style

[loverofallthingssarah]

If Flames Could Talk

Part 3

Ellie Staple x Reaper

WARNING: nothing in this chapter

Word Count: 900 +

Part 1 Part 2

A/N: U pdates may be sporadic & sorry if there are errors I’m shit at proofreading my own writing cause I read it how I meant to write it ☹️

A couple of weeks have passed working with Dr. Staple; nothing much has changed in the short amount of time you’ve talked. You keep pushing her for answers, and she keeps telling you it takes time. Time is a luxury you just couldn’t afford. But Dr. staple didn’t seem to understand how much you needed to remember that night. Anything piece to the puzzle that could prove your innocence that could be your alibi.

With each session working together, Ellie would extend the time. You started with one hour sessions, and we’re currently with her for two hours every day. Working on what you felt was completely useless things. You hated sitting there answered and discussing your life’s “trauma” this wasn’t some afterschool special. This was your life. This attitude you were portraying in the halls of Allentown Hospital wasn’t you, you weren’t this dark and melancholy, but you hated it here with your whole fucking chest.

“Alright, Y/n, today I think we are going…,” all you hear is dribble drabble of what she has planned for today, but you’re not in the mood for any introspection bullshit today. Dr. Staple always went on and on about how you should take a step back and look into how you process, but there was no time for that today. It wasn’t helping to pull anything from your memory loss, and to be honest, you couldn’t be bothered with it today. You just wanted fuck around a bit.

“What’s your favorite color?”

“I… um… what?” Ellie cocks her head to the side, clearly confused by your outburst. Since the beginning of your sessions, you barely spoke, and when you did, it was short and concise. No more, no less. Most of the time, she was met with dirty looks and burning eyes filled with disdain. “What’s your favorite color?”

“It’s powder blue, but I don’t see how this has anything to do with-” you cut Dr. Staple off, “My favorite color is a mix between a lilac or a soft yellow. Which really isn’t all interesting, so let’s get down to the nitty gritty. What’s your first name?”

Shock pours from every beautiful line on Ellie’s face. She quickly recovers to her ever neutral facial expressions, “What are you doing, Y/n?”

“I want to know your name,” she looks you dead in the eye, “why?”

You smirk before you reply, “I thought we needed to build trust between us, Dr. Staple,” your voice rises when you say her name, “and how could I ever possibly trust you enough to really open up and commit to any of your psychoanalysis bullshit? Plus, it’s not like your name is some top secret information.”

“It’s Ellie.”

Ellie, such a gorgeous name, meaning bright shining light. It fits such a person as Ellie. She always wanted to find a spin on how anything can be seen in such a positive way. You being here was a way to gain insight into your life; this is what she would always tell you. Not only her outlook as a psychiatrist was bright but also her demeanor. Her hair, her eyes…

“I like that name, so Ellie, how’d you know you were gay?”

Ellie felt a tingle when she heard her name escape your lips, “What? First of all, I think you shouldn’t be calling me Ellie. Call me Dr. Staple. Second of all, why are you asking me that? How can you just assume I’m gay?”

“I can tell. Most gays have gaydar. Mine just happens to be excellent. So, again Ellie,” you said her name in a singsong voice, “how did you know?” Ellie didn’t respond and just stared at you in surprise, “Well, I’ll go first. I realized in middle school when I had a crush on my 6th grade science teacher. I didn’t really know what it was at first, but then it just kind of hit me. I kept it hidden for the longest time because, well, society sucks, as you already know.”

You give her a look to tell her it’s her time to share, she starts to stutter, “Um… I…,” she knows how inappropriate it is to share her personal stories with you, but there’s something about you that she can’t deny, “I was in college, and I had this roommate. She was unlike anyone I had ever met before. We both just fell hard for each other, but it just didn’t work out. We both wanted different things. Which is probably way more than I should have shared, Y/n we should really get back too-,” you found yourself wanting to get to know her better. Wanting to ask her as many questions as you could possibly think of, but you knew where this was heading, and you just couldn’t let that happen. You couldn’t fall for her. She’s your doctor and the only ticket out of this hell hole you were not going to screw that up.

“I’m done for today,” you look away from Ellie.

“Y/n, our session isn’t finished-,” you cut her off yet again, “I’m done for today. You told me if I wasn't comfortable with continuing at any time, we could cut a session short. I would like to go back to my room, now!”

“O-okay,” Ellie reaches for the phone on her desk to call your nurse to escort you back to your room. While you’re waiting for her to return, you avoid any kind of eye contact with Ellie.

Once your nurse arrives, you scurry out of her office and make your trek back to your bubble.

While Ellie sits there and wonders where this session went wrong. She knew she shouldn’t have opened up like that to you. It was appropriate and not to mention unethical. She knew this wasn’t good because she knew what these feelings were. She knew she was developing feelings for you.

sfw taglist: @orchid-fairy @rainbow-hedgehog @twistedpoeticjustice @dreamer-queen @kais-rose-garden @magnificent-paulsonn @mrsdeanhoward @citizenoftheworld-stuff-blog @commanderspeach @in-cordelias-coven @lntlmate