#if you’re still here and you see this and u rb I’m giving you a hug with love. thanks for sticking around

[raining-starshine]

I’ve been having interesting dreams this whole week… this one included group survival games starring an unusual haunted house vibe + looming permadeath

(click for quality)

[doomedmoth]

War is Over

Pairing : Reader x Daniel Ricciardo x Max Verstappen | Poly fem!reader

Warnings : use of y/n, smau, polyamory, queer drivers, reader is around 30

Synopsis : You’re just a mechanic at RedBull, not much more to say. Nothing in your contract says you can’t be friends with drivers, right ? The little lines very clearly says you’re not allowed to show it all though. When your chosen “family” fails you, all you can do is hope your loved ones save themselves too.

Moth’s prophecy💡: Hi cryptids, honestly I have no excuses to give, sorry for the randomness of it all, I just needed to get this out to process with the pain of loosing Daniel. I can only hope he finds happiness away from the shit show that RedBull is becoming. Probably going back to hibernation, see ya !

[Messages] Dumber has sent you a text

*****

[Instagram] yourusername just posted a photo

yourusername : How it started / how it’s going (swipe for my face when I’m not covered in grease). Hello to everyone new here, I’m Y/N, Chief Engine Power Conformity Mechanician at redbullracing ! Based in the never-sunny town of Milton Keynes, but you might see me around the paddock at most races to make sure no one explodes ✌🏻

Liked by redbullracing, F1mech and others

view all comments

F1mech little miss mini boss 🫡

yourusername be glad to have me around to do the dirty work

F1mech Yes ma’am very grateful ma’am 🫡

redbullracing Your work is so crucial and we are happy the world gets to know you more !

redbullracing Also it was sunny last we came to MK ???

yourusername nobody tell admin we take out the fake blue sky windows when he comes by

user1 lmao I live in Milton Keynes and can attest we haven’t seen the sun in weeeeks

user2 never wanted to be a redbull neon sign so bad

user3 I can see why they hide her in the shithole that is Milton Keynes, the whole paddock would go crazy over her

user4 she would make such a cute wag omg !!

user5 bet every girlie is on their man’s back whenever she’s around

user6 she works for RB soooo… d’you think her and checo…? 😳

user7 she already has someone guys !! Though we have never seen his face, but I think she’s more interested in the cars than the ones inside them

user6 checo is married and still it doesn’t stop him lmao

user8 are you part of the pit crew ?? Never seen you before ! /g

yourusername I’m not !! I mainly work on the cars before and after the races and practices to make sure everything is in place, not faulty, and compliant to both Redbull’s and the FIA’s standards of security 🤗 but 60/70% of my work is at the factory, and the paddock parts happens behind close doors, so no worries

maxverstappen1 she makes sure nobody dies

yourusername and god knows y’all make it hard sometimes

danielricciardo yeah this second pic is so much better

yourusername oh don’t start me boy

danielricciardo hihihi 🤭

user9 hello Daniel ???

user10 How can I work at Redbull too pls I beg you I’ll even make coffee and mop the floors

yourusername check our offers on the website honey !! Most jobs require some experience or diploma but we also offer internships and graduate programs if you want to make your way in

user10 thank u 🥹

user10 that’s how you got in ?

yourusername nope, I’ve worked on cars forever and in motorsports for years before getting to F1, but we have plenty of opportunities in non-technical fields too!

user11 pretty, kind, works in f1, not single, lemme just Google how to be like you

user12 you okay dude ? Throat not hurting too much from gagging on her dick

user13 lmaoooo yeah seeing her looks that’s probably a daddy’s girl who got put in exec and pretends to know what she’s talking about

user14 wouldn’t be shocked if her “work behind closed doors” is ordering actual mechs around like minions

danielricciardo is your little ego so hurt by the fact that you’ll never be talented enough to get to her place that you’ve resorted to running your shitty mouth online ? Breath getting stinky mate, careful 🤢

Liked by yourusername

*****

[Instagram] yourusername just posted a photo

yourusername : Everything’s twice as fun with you

Liked by yourbff, maxverstappen1 and others

view all comments

user15 lover boy lover boy lover boy !

user16 I’m more excited for the face reveal than for my best friend’s wedding

user17 pls get checked wtf

user18 wait isn’t he blonde ? who’s the dark haired one in some pics ? With tattoos ?

user19 you might be new but Y/N always post pics of lover boy randomly, so some pics are old, and he often dyes his hair !

user18 wow damn I need his hairdresser coz this is cleaaaaan

yourbff don’t tell me you let him touch your car

yourusername lmaooo never 💀 tried to teach him to change some parts on his

yourbff and…?

yourusername ended up doing it…

yourbff at least he’s cute !!

yourusername Hey ! That must counts for something !

user20 not them bullying him coz he either doesn’t have socials or is not allowed to answer

yourbff what ? us ?

yourusername Never 😇

user21 oh damn she bagged herself a hottie

user22 HE bagged himself a hottie have you seen her ??

user23 couple goals and we ain’t ever seen his face like

user24 ain’t no need for a face with a body like this

user25 kinda looks like Max on the 6th slide no ??

user26 lmao as if

user27 the man can bag any celebrity doubt he cares for a factory girl

user28 the pic with the RB can lol

yourusername trained him well 😇

*****

[Twitter] f1.driv.updates just posted

*****

[Messages] Dumb has sent you a text

*****

[Instagram] maxverstappen1 has added a story

user29 replied to the story :

oh yeah I keep forgetting y’all old money rich rich

user30 replied to the story :

so we all forgetting about Horner’s accusation ?? Truly just RB’s bitch in the end

user31 replied to the story :

Is that y/n ?? Didn’t know the mechs were invited to those events

danielricciardo replied to the story :

man I do take amazing pics when the models look so good

*****

[Instagram] yourusername just posted a photo

yourusername : vitamin sea 🌊⛱️🐚 Australia, you never disappoint

Liked by oscarpiastri, daniel3.jpg and others

view all comments

oscarpiastri wish we could have hung out more 🥺

yourusername we hung out at your house bby!!

user32 BBY ?? SOMEONE CALL LILY COZ THIS BITCH IS OVERSTEPPING

oscarpiastri we didn’t hang out you repaired my mom’s car while Lily and I were drinking WARM BEERS ON THE FLOOR

yourusername SORRY YOU CAN’T APPRECIATE MY CRAFT LIKE YOUR MOTHER DOES also hi to lils 💕🌸🎀

oscarpiastri DON’T BRING MY MOM INTO THIS she said she misses u 🤗💕✨

user32 oh

yourusername yeah

oscarpiastri yeah

nicolepiastri yeah

yourbff you need to turn off work like for reeeaaaal

yourusername how can I when those two are literally glued to my hip

danielricciardo shocked sad disappointed

maxverstappen1 Lover boy will hear about this

yourusername Are those threats ? Remember I literally have power over your life

danielricciardo not mine anymore lol Lover boy WILL HEAR about this

user33 oh so that definitely erases the possibility of Max or Daniel being Lover Boy

user34 as if there had ever been any evidence of that

user35 Lover boy in the Redbull cap ??

yourusername Yep ! Max gave it to him

user35 daaaaamn he is ripped

yourusername hihi 🤭

user36 no one questioning why the fuck is a mechanician hanging so much with drivers ??

user37 *chief mechanician

F1mech oh shit buddy thank you, we weren’t aware we couldn’t be friends with people we spend more than half of the year on the road with

maxverstappen1 cancel your ticket rn mate, you can’t vacation with us

F1mech come on user36, see what you’ve done ?? Maybe if you hadn’t questioned it I could have gone, fucker

*****

[Instagram] yourusername has added a story

user38 has replied to your story :

Not you posting this straight after the checo announcement 💀

yourbff has replied to your story :

just saw the news, is Danny ok ?? Pls call me

maxverstappen1 has replied to your story :

Booked you a table at San Marco at 8, sorry I can’t be there tonight…

it’s okay, I know how it is, I just don’t want him to be alone… thx for the restaurant 💕

[Instagram] yourusername has added a story

user39 has replied to your story :

omg same

user40 has replied to your story :

IS THAT DANIEL ???

user41 has replied to your story :

the tattoos ??? girl we knoooow

redbullracing has replied to your story :

y/n ?

yup yup yup sorry

This story has been deleted.

*****

[Instagram] yourusername has added a story

user41 has replied to your story :

lmao miss thing is piiiissed

yukitsunoda0511 has replied to your story :

i can’t find my controller d’you have one more ? 🥺

yes bby just come before your food gets cold

user42 has replied to your story :

She supports Max’s rights but mostly Max’s wrongs

*****

[Twitter] F1mech just posted

[Instagram] yourusername has added a story

user43 has replied to your story :

preeeaach 🙌🏻

user44 has replied to your story :

all redbull employees protesting the FIA has me going !! Tell Horner to open his mouth too for once

danielricciardo has replied to your story :

I want this pic as my new lockscreen

*****

[Twitter] danyfanclub just posted

*****

[Instagram] danielricciardo just posted a photo

danielricciardo : l've loved this sport my whole life. It's wild and wonderful and been a journey. To the teams and individuals that have played their part, thank you. To the fans who love the sport sometimes more than me haha thank you. It'll always have its highs and lows but it's been fun and truth be told I wouldn't change it.

Until the next adventure.

Liked by redbullracing, yourusername and others

view all comments

redbullracing 🫶🏻

user45 SHUT UP

user46 the audacity

user47 you promised you would treat him better !!

user48 Daniel > Perez

user49 DTS fan

lewishamilton legend 🫂

user50 game recognize game

user51 tell Mercedes to give him a seat

maxverstappen1 Head up ! Many more beautiful moments to come, somewhere you’ll be recognized and appreciated 💪🏻 our time together isn’t over, but I’m glad for all the racing, the laughs, the nights, for you ❤️

user52 wow hm Max no need to make all of us cry

user53 I feel like I’ve just walked in on something very personal…

user54 maxiel 😭😭😭

user55 he was the best mate you ever had, never should have left RedBull

yourusername Working with you was an honor, but getting to know and appreciate you made my whole life brighter, and I can’t thank you enough for this 🌞 no contracts can bring us apart, see you around honey bee 💛

user56 the little dig at RB’s contracts lmao

user57 why does honey bee feel much more intimate than honey badger ??

user58 we haven’t seen this level of emotion for De Vries, yet you were already working for the “RedBull family” if I’m not mistaken ??

user59 maybe because no one gives two shits about De Vries ??

*****

[Instagram] yourusername just posted a photo

yourusername : Well, there it is. After 15 years of working on cars, the last 10 in motorsports, last five in Formula 1, it’s time for me to take a break. It was just perfect to finish it off in my hometown Austin, and I’m so grateful to my friends and family who made the trip to celebrate together. I remember my first week at Milton Keynes, my whole life in a suitcase. Abu Dhabi 2021, and those stories we’ll keep for our old days. I was so proud to be part of this, the champagne, the fireworks, the love. The day Daniel came back to us. The people I’ve met, the opportunities I’ve had, none would have been possible without you, ‘Bull. It’s been oh so amazing, but oh so tiring. I’ve reached a point in my life where I need my environment to be aligned with what I want, my values and the people I love and care for. So it’s goodbye.

F1, thank you for everything. I’ll miss you, but I gotta go. 💙

Liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo, and others

view all comments

F1mech I solemnly swear to not make anything explode, to always triple check my laces, to never pick Yoshi in Mario Kart because it’s yours, and to forever keep you close to my heart. Thx mini boss, you were amazing 🫡

yourusername Thanks Callum, you’re gonna make me cry now…

user60 US TOO 😭

user61 naaaaah another one leaving RedBull, shit is really going down

user62 where do you think she’s going ? Aston ?

user63 or Ferrari

yourusername Sorry to disappoint but neither ! It’s really a full break, for a while at least, I need to get my head out of the oil and machinery

user64 leaving England then ?? What about lover boy ??

yourusername Lover boy was never British eheh, who told you that ? 🤭

user65 if Lover boy is confirmed to be Daniel I’ll loose my shit

user66 I will always root for Max though…

user67 he has tattoos omg it’s never been Max !!

redbullracing Now it’s pretty sure MK will never see the sun again with you gone 😭

user68 we still hate you

user69 fuck off

yukitsunoda0511 🥺🫶🏻

yourusername 😚🫴🏻💕

yourbff it’ll be hard, but it’ll be good

yourusername thankfully i won’t be alone

yourbff not long to wait

yourusername yeah, soon soon

user70 ???

user71 I have a headache just thinking about everything the soon soon could be about

user72 really doubt Max is staying much longer in RedBull seeing how many engineers are quitting

*****

[Twitter] f1.driv.updates just posted

*****

[Instagram] yourusername has added a story

user73 has replied to your story :

no yeah we get it this looks much better than the factory lmao

user74 has replied to your story :

Honey bee ?? I’ve heard that one before

oscarpiastri has replied to your story :

Mom said you haven’t gone to see her yet ! Meanie !

user75 has replied to your story :

crazy how Max starts winning again since you’re gone

*****

[Instagram] f1 just posted a photo

F1 : BREAKING : Max Verstappen has announced his retirement after winning his 4th World’s Drivers Championship.

Record breaker.

Late braker.

Legend.

#ThankYouMax

Liked by redbullracing, charles_leclerc, and others

view all comments

user76 WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

user77 when I tell you I fell to my knees

user78 screaming crying throwing up

user79 I refuse to believe this is true

user80 what the hell was this season

user81 DTS is gonna have a field day with this one

user80 doubt 10 episodes are gonna be enough

redbullracing There aren’t enough words to describe the impact you’ve had on our history, Max. You’ll forever be a pillar of the RedBull family, and an icon of the sport. Tudududu 🧡

lewishamilton Thank you for the challenges, you’ve always pushed us to go harder. Never thought I would have to see you leave, but we’ll keep your legacy running 👑

user82 Alonso when ???

user83 Who’s gonna take his seat ? Honey badger comeback ?

user84 doubt it, he said in the only interview he gave that he had some friends to go see a few continents away, bet he was talking bout Danny

user85 April Fools ?

user86 In December ??

user87 I really don’t understand why, everything was going much better with the car lately

user88 I think he’s just done with the sport, he said multiple time he wouldn’t force it if he didn’t feel like it anymore

*****

[Instagram] yourusername has added a story

user89 has replied to your story :

wait, if that’s lover boy, who’s the guy you were with lately ??

user90 has replied to your story :

Sydney airport !!

user91 has replied to your story :

OMG I KNEW I SAW MAX IN SYDNEY THIS MORNING WTF I RECOGNIZE HIM

yourbff has replied to your story :

you did it bby, it’s time to rest now

ily, we will 💕

user92 has replied to your story :

The timing with Max quitting RB is so odd I’m seriously questioning my sanity rn

*****

[Instagram] yourusername, danielricciardo and maxverstappen1 just posted a photo

yourusername, danielricciardo, maxverstappen1 : War is Over.

Liked by yourbff, oscarpiastri and others

Comments on this post have been disabled.

*****

[Instagram] danielricciardo has added a story

The replies to this story have been disabled.

[Instagram] maxverstappen1 has added a story

The replies to this story have been disabled.

*****

[Instagram] danielricciardo just posted a photo

danielricciardo : From sneaking out of restaurants to barricading the doors of our shared hotel rooms, I wish I could have told the world earlier how much I love you. But I’m glad I can now. There’s something magical about finding the one, so when you find the two, you’ll make any radical change necessary to protect them. Think you were right Maxie, the farm life does suit us.

This was the Honey Badger, peace ✌🏻

Liked by yukitsunoda0511, yourusername, and others.

Comments on this post have been disabled.

[Instagram] maxverstappen1 just posted a photo

maxverstappen1 : Turning off comments coz those two are mine and you can only admire them from afar. I know they’re pretty. They’re mine. And I’ll say it as many times as I want now. Mine mine mine mine mine

Liked by danielricciardo, charles_leclerc and others.

Comments on this post have been disabled.

[Instagram] yourusername just posted a photo

yourusername : Oh, I’m sorry, did I say Lover Boy ? I meant Boys 🤭

Liked by lilyzneimer, F1mech, and others.

Comments on this post have been restricted.

view all comments

user93 WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

user94 mother is finally letting us out of the cage and none of us can take it

user95 the first pic

user96 I could die

user97 who the fuck even took it

user98 she said “y’all won’t let me post their faces ? I’ll give you the whole sextape”

user99 I knew it I fucking knew it Maxiel nation we won

oscarpiastri so happy for you guys, go be free with the little goats 🥹

yourusername pls try to survive

maxverstappen1 and if RB tries to buy you RUN BACK HOME

user100 oh shit it’s time for no filter Max era

yourusername you’ve had a taste this year, be prepared for the real deal

yukitsunoda0511 finally i can stop pretending to not speak English when asked about you

danielricciardo you were pretending very well if I may say

yukitsunoda0511 thanks !

user101 oh yuki sweet summer child…

user102 don’t tell me in Japan already ??

yourusername you really took a good look at this pic and thought “yeah, those two are straight” ? It’s a you issue honestly

user102 yeah okay fair

user103 7th pic ???

maxverstappen1 Abu Dhabi ‘21

maxverstappen1 tasted better than champagne tbh

user104 oh so y’all are just leaking EVERYTHING now, no fucks given

danielricciardo I had to pay a lot for those pics to not get out back then so yeah kinda

danielricciardo which is a shame when we look so good

user105 sooooo… about the high performance athlete….?

maxverstappen1 yes.

yourusername yes.

danielricciardo 💕

*****

[Twitter] danyfanclub just posted

[juyeonszn]

BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT

THE TBZ FRAT HOUSE IS HOSTING THE BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT COLLAB BY @juyeonszn AND @itsbeeble!

YOU’RE INVITED!

PAIRING tbz x f!reader

GENRES smut ﹒fluff ﹒minimal angst ﹒crack

WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT! mature language, mentions of alcohol, sexual content, more warnings per individual fic!

SUMMARY have you ever wondered what your favorite frat boyz are up to in their personal lives? if so, then these fics are just for you! join us as we take a glimpse into the tau beta zeta fraternity and see what they get up to in their free time!

MORE LETS GAURRRRR i’m so excited to announce this collab with loml reese both as a cute fun little idea we had and in celebration of her 1 year tumblr anniversary! we also realized it happened to be the same day as tbz day LOL so that’s kinda crazy 😭 my boyz have been here for 6 years wow 💔 anyways i hope all of u love these as much as we do! and always, don’t forget to rb if u enjoyed!! send an ask if u’d like to be tagged in these <3

PERM TAGLIST @winterchimez @maessseongs @itsbeeble @zzoguri @deoboyznet @cloverdaisies

FALL SEMESTER

TRY HARD — LEE JUYEON (12/6)

Need to get rid of some junk? Well these college hunks will haul YOUR junk! Give us a call at xxx-xxx-JUNK and we’ll haul YOUR junk for FREE! (limited time offer)

EXCITEMENT — JI CHANGMIN (12/6)

You know, when you told your girl friends that you’d never finished before, you were expecting it to blow over like no big deal. What you weren’t expecting was for it to spiral into a whole other mess.

SEEING STARS — KIM SUNWOO (12/10)

It’s slightly embarrassing how Sunwoo is naive enough to take Eric Sohn’s “advice” to heart. Luckily, you like idiots. Especially when they kick a ball into your face and agree to do a semester’s worth of school work for you.

CLUMSY — JU HAKNYEON (12/10)

When Haknyeon ran into you at a TBZ party for the first time, he didn’t think he would fall for you so quickly. Or literally. Or both simultaneously. But there’s a first time for everything, he supposes.

“FRIENDLY” COMPETITION — LEE SANGYEON (12/14)

The TBZ frat had always had a rivalry with the KAT sorority. At least, they did when you and Sangyeon became the presidents three years ago. What happens when you mix a little friendly competition into this rivalry of yours?

JE NE SAIS QUOI — JACOB BAE (12/14)

Jacob thought the concept of fraternities was stupid. So stupid that despite every single one of his friends being in one, he still refused to join. However, after meeting you at one of the TBZ parties, he’s starting to think maybe they’re not that horrible.

SPRING SEMESTER

LET LOOSE — KIM YOUNGHOON (12/19)

Younghoon has hated you. He thought you were stuck up with that better-than-you princess attitude of yours. What better than to just…fuck it right out of you?

(NO) STRINGS ATTACHED — LEE HYUNJAE (12/19)

Becoming friends with Lee Hyunjae after his valiant attempt to save your life (stopping you from drunk driving) was certainly not on your year’s bingo card. Also not on your bingo card? Waking up in his bed every other night following, but it’s not like you’re really complaining.

NO BITCHES? — ERIC SOHN (12/22)

When you met Eric, you’d thought he was just another frat boy, looking to get into any woman’s pants (particularly yours at that moment). You never would’ve thought that he was just a loser who really liked FNAF and just thought you were pretty.

PARTY O’CLOCK — CHOI CHANHEE (12/22)

In spite of being a frat boy himself, Chanhee could never actually see himself enjoying the luxuries of the title. Besides, how could he with all the responsibilities of being treasurer? Enter you and your carefree spirit and Chanhee’s got a real big problem on his hands.

PRINCESS AND THE PAUPER — KEVIN MOON (PT. 1 1/1, PT. 2 1/3)

It wasn’t like you and Kevin hated each other. In fact, you quite admired him despite his somewhat indifferent attitude toward you. Well, now that you’re paired up for the last dance of the year, you guess it’s the perfect time to find out why.

© juyeonszn & itsbeeble. do not steal, claim, or repost.

[chloeangelic]

Long overdue, I’m finally giving Vic one of my High Effort Reblogs and I thought it would be for TCC but I have to do it for At The Restaurant and then I can suck her off even more in my TCC reblog cause I have more to say.

Here’s the thing, I wasn’t really that into Din until I read TCC. I watched the show, I liked the character, but I just… Didn’t wanna fuck him, like, I just didn’t have much of a fascination with the man under there, so I think seeing him through Vic’s eyes was what I needed to do in order to get it and now I GET IT!!!!! I rewatched the show after reading TCC and I see him in a completely different light now, it’s wild. As dramatic as it sounds, I never really saw him as human until I read her portrayal, I couldn’t look past the armor somehow. I have never read a Din AU before this so I had no idea what to expect but I am IN LOVE with this Din, truly - more on that later. 

Spoiler related stuff and me being a simp under the cut cause this is gonna be long !!! 

I think everyone can agree that Vic is a phenomenal writer, and I’m terrible at formulating my thoughts about writing cause I have zero technical knowledge, so all I can offer is that her writing makes me cry and also cream my panties because she embeds so much emotion into her words, her descriptions of people and places and situations are so vivid that I can see them crystal clear in my head, and everything just feels so god damn real. Fics hit different when you can tell that the writer has a love for their characters and their stories. Vic never wastes words, ever. She has this absolutely insane range - every fic has a different tone and yet it’s still so clearly her writing, you know? I think it’s difficult to create a well fleshed-out dynamic in a one shot and capture a couple’s spectrum of emotion and experiences with each other in a such a short fic, without doing all kinds of logistical explanations, but then fics like At The Restaurant happen and it’s just this perfectly succinct story weaved into the action itself, and you’re fed their history as you go along and it’s all just so smooth and PERFECT ugh 

Vic’s descriptions of a man’s physicality will always be 10/10, no matter who it’s about. I will be on my knees, in love, mouth AGAPE for any Pedro boy she writes cause their characterizations are always so amazing. 

Sorry, my big smut speech will have to come with another RB cause this shit is gonna be too long lmfao. I also think the relationship and Din himself in this story just fucking got me more than anything, like.. hardcore got me. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely want to fuck and suck with this Din for 24 hrs straight, and I felt it in my coochie when he said “Now” so obviously he owns me but I have debased myself enough to Vic, telling her about getting a massive nut off to her fics so I’m gonna cool it this time ok 

Grogu and The Mandalorian being worked into this was absolute fucking GOLD. Legit my fav part. It was cute and creative and funny and such an amazing use of canon material, GOD BLESS !!!!! The focus, going into it, is easily gonna be on Din being a fuckboy, so I think the portrayal of him as a brother was so fantastic that no more convincing was needed that he’s actually a good guy, and that’s what makes me as the reader look back on the MC’s narrative and be like okay, maybe I judged him too quick. Learning about his parents/his family constellation in general is the point where 1) your stomach hurts, and 2) you’re like oh shit okay everything makes sense, and even so, it was still portrayed in a way that wasn’t oversimplified. 

I was feeling all demonic and hihi haha until the end and basically I feel like I got chewed up and spit out cause now I want to be a whiny part 2 commenter, begging for a crumb of them together. 

Ok that’s it for now love u bye 

Actual footage of me thinking I knew where it was going and then getting thrown by the end

At the Restaurant

Pairing: Din Djarin x F!Reader

Summary: It’s three days til Christmas, and you’ve never known want like this, and his eyes are glossy with emotion and everything he won’t ever let himself tell you or anyone else, and you so badly want to tell him that it’s only that it’s hard to be casual when your favorite bra lives in his dresser, and also that you’re in love with him.

-OR-

the Christmas situationship AU

Rating: Explicit 18+

Content Warnings: Modern AU; Christmas fic; Angst; Fluff; Miscommunication; Emotionally unavailable idiots; But also idiots in love; Toxic relaationships; Situationship; There is nothing well adjusted about any of this pls don’t come into this house if that’s what you’re looking for; Trigger warning for man with an avoidant attachment style; Condolences to all my fellow victims of The Situationship; Unprotected Sex; Creampie; Oral Sex (F!Receiving); Frankly some pretty pathetic behavior; Girl stand UP; Fuckboy Din; Plan B and Delusion as a form of birth control; Pull and pray baby pull and pray; Possessive Behavior; Jealousy; Insecurity; Trigger warning for Right Where You Left Me by Taylor Swift references

A/N: Hello and welcome to my contribution to the holiday fic pool! This is not at all what I was planning as my holiday piece, but I woke up a few mornings ago and was just completely taken hold by this. Much love and thanks and gratitude and all the kisses in the world to my friend @f0rlornmyths for all the help on the idea and brainstorming and for the gorgeous edits she made for this little story. Mai baby, this is all for you, and I know it's not the Christmas gift I promised you, but I swear, one day that too will get written.

I’m wishing you all the happiest and most relaxing of holiday seasons. I think of you all constantly and wish you all the best always, and I hope you’re taking care of yourselves during this time ❣️🎄✨

Word Count: 8.2K

Read on AO3

He gets this sparkle in his eyes when the bar’s extra busy, cheeks flushed and curls damp with sweat and this shine that speaks; that tells of all the things he does that make a woman belong to him whenever he’s giving her his singular attention. Eyes that laugh and crinkle at the edges with happiness. Eyes that tell you how much he does or does not want you at that specific moment. And he’ll laugh and blind the room into seduction under the Christmas lights, and then he’ll turn, suddenly remembering you’re here for him, and look at you all serious-like, while you sip on your tequila soda, with two limes always because he knows that’s how you like it, and it’ll be a serious, cool look for just a second before it blooms into the best smile anyone’s surely ever had in all history, and you love him. 

It’s three days til Christmas, and you’ve never known want like this. You’ve never practiced restraint of this kind either. A restraint that suffocates and kills and could probably be taken as a form of self harm were you in a righter, more clear mind, but it’s the only thing you have left against him. Din. A control over yourself that falsely feeds you the illusion of power. You never call him. Never. Any interaction, any late night fuck, any time he comes over and comes inside you, it’s always, always because he calls you, he looks for you. You never beg, not with words at least, and you never text first and you never ask him if you can see him, and it’s the only way you tell yourself you maintain even a semblance of control. And at night, when you’re alone and it’s dark and you’ve only got the cat for some sad company, or you’re crying in bed because he hasn’t called, and you know he’s not at work and he’s obviously not at home, so he’s somewhere you don’t want him to be, that false sense of control that says you’re never the one reaching out, it’s always him coming around so surely that must mean something… it’s all you have at the end of it. 

He’s not your boyfriend. He never has been. And there’s always been that excuse you use to soothe yourself with of, well, we’ve never really talked about it, and he’s not really my boyfriend, so it doesn’t really matter. Does it? Doesn’t it? You’re sure you don’t know anymore. And you tell yourself, lie to yourself, comfort yourself, whatever it is your tired heart needs in that moment, because it truly is so tired, the push and pull is the most exhausting game in the world, that if he’s coming to you it’s because Din’s choosing you. Even if just for a night, even if just for now, even if tomorrow he’ll be with someone else, he chose you for tonight, and so surely that must mean something. It’s the worst thing you do to yourself, but it feels so good in the moment. You just can’t help yourself. 

“Another one?” He calls over his shoulder with a smile.

 You’d had a little bit of a… well, you don’t really know what to call it. A falling out, perhaps, because the two of you never have fights. You never fight, you never discuss the things the two of you should discuss, like feelings or anger or resentment or boundaries and wants and needs. Nothing. Nothing that indicates anything that might define what it is the two of you’ve been doing for two years with each other now. Fights are something couples do, and you two are not a couple. But up until three days ago, you’d not heard from him for two weeks. Two weeks of nothing, of hearing from your friends that they’d seen him out with his friends and other girls who you know probably mean nothing, even less than you do, but still. It’d made you insane. A little bit irrational, and so when you and your friends had gone out over the weekend, picked up a group of guys at the new bar you’d chosen for the night, since Din’s bar was off limits at the moment, and brought them back to your apartment at your roommate, Bo’s, insistence, well, you’d thought you’d give him a taste of his own medicine. After a slightly tipsy, teary eyed rant, explaining to your new friend for the night, a one Toro Calican, who had a very nice smile and very pretty eyes and not at all bad arms, all about your terrible situation with this man who you were not really in a relationship with, but who you have sex with, and only with him, regularly, unprotected, enthusiastically, but who is still not your boyfriend and not even anything close, he’d arranged himself very nice and cozy-looking in your bed with your twinkly lights sparkling in the background and your pink pig stuffy which Din loved to make fun of you for, and you’d taken a very tasteful, in your opinion, picture of him for your Instagram story. Again, a taste of his own medicine. 

Din had been at your front door forty five minutes later, angry. Angrier than you’d ever seen him before, and not at all trying to hide it. Pushing past you and into your apartment all tall and broad and wearing your favorite dark blue hoodie he knows you love, curls mused as if he’d been pulling his fingers through them in agitation. There’d been a sneaky, smarmy little devil inside of you doing a happy dance at that moment, and his eyes when he’d turned to glare at you after giving poor, Toro – casual, entirely unbothered, Toro with his big smile stretched across his handsome face as he’d looped an arm over Bo’s shoulders where he’d been sitting beside her on the couch – a look that said Din had half a mind to take him outside and wipe the floor with him. But your new friend had laughed him off, taking Din’s terribly cocky onceover, the sort he liked to set people down with, in stride. All arrogance and the sort of self assuredness only a man who knew what he was made of and how to take care of himself could possess. He was too hot for his, or your, own good. 

And when he’d turned and pushed you into your bedroom, a little tipsy, a lot desperate and pleased and wet, because yes, finally you were getting exactly what you wanted, exactly as you’d asked for it, and he’d flipped your skirt up and ripped your panties down and buried his face in your cunt from behind, all: this pussy’s mine, what the fuck was another dude doing in your bedroom? You’d been nothing but pleased giggles and hiccupy little moans as you’d come on his tongue just as he’d demanded of you. 

It was wrong. The two of you were wrong and maybe even bad for each other, but also, and this was only your own personal, fanciful discernment, addicted. A mutual addiction. The way he fucked you, hard and deep and possessive, like you belonged to him. Tugging you up by the hips and pulling you back onto his hard cock, the wet slap of your pussy dripping for him so that it surely echoed through the thin door of your shitty little apartment for the man who’d threatened what Din saw as rightfully his could hear exactly what was happening in here. You should have cared more about this ridiculous display of a pissing contest. You should have been bothered by it. You absolutely were not. And when he’d gone harder than stone, shoved deeper than you could comfortably take him so that you were coming around his cock one last time from the stretch and sting of it, and he’d filled you to leaking without even asking, you’d not even blinked at it, had been nothing but contented sighs.

It was all wrong, wrong, wrong.

Even worse, you’d never been on birth control. It made you sick, tired, moody, and the two of you worked around it… sometimes… kind of. Condoms when you remembered, usually ripped off mid fuck, pulling out… also sometimes. Never very responsible or dedicated to the practice of safe sex and level headedness, more focused on how fucking good it always felt when he was inside of you like this all bare and wet and hot and his. And if he fucked other girls, well, you tried not to think about that. Got tested, told yourself you were the only one he didn’t use protection with because you were special when they were not. And if there was, that last horribly misguided whisper that said, well, if he’s taking this risk with you, then obviously that means something too, right? Then so be it.

Again, like you’d said, bad for each other. 

But he always gave you so many reasons to be stupid, delusional, like the way he’d kissed you before he’d gone the morning after, while you were still sleepy and warm and a little sweaty from where you’d been pressed together so close through the night, wet and sticky between your legs from his come. He’d wrapped his arms around you and pressed you so, so close to his chest, nipples bare and tight against hard muscle and wispy hair. The musky sleep smell of him as he’d started at your shoulder, mouth slow and damp, kissed and nibbled his way up your collarbone, your throat, your jaw, settled at your ear to taste that soft place behind, pressed his tongue there to feel the echo of your pulse moving through your whole body, the flutter of his long lashes against your skin because he’s just that close. Your toes had curled and spasmed, little and cold, bracing against his hairy shins and big feet, hard cock nestled between the warmth of your thighs. And he always makes the best sounds, you know, deep and rumbly and all man. Familiar sounds that you’re able to replay again and again in your mind afterwards when he’s gone, sounds that make it easy for you to pretend he’s yours because you know them so well, and you want to keep him so bad it makes your stomach hurt. Gotta go get the kid, he’d said, by way of explanation for why he wasn’t pushing up into your come soaked cunt and having you one more time again, but he’d stayed and kissed you. And when he’d finally found his way to your mouth, sipping on you, tasting behind your teeth, along the wet of your tongue, that was all that really mattered anyway. 

Sometimes, he kisses you like he loves you, and it makes you hate him. 

He hadn’t called in the three days since then, but he’d been kind enough to DoorDash you a Plan B and a bag of your favorite Dove dark chocolate bites, and you want to hate him and maybe even run him over with you car, you really do, but then tonight, out of nowhere while you’d been at home telling yourself you weren’t going to cry, tired and sweaty from lying under your duvet for too long, fingers slippery between cunt and cotton, too many unsatisfying orgasms and a tear worthy film already chosen as your excuse for later, he’d sent a: come to the bar tonight, baby, I want to see you. And well, he’d come looking for you, right? He’d texted first. So really, this was all him wanting you and choosing you.

You need help, electroshock therapy, a lobotomy, anything. But you’d gotten your butt up and dressed, begged Bo to come out with you, and now here the two of you sit, good friend that she is, waiting for him to finally come over and say more than three stringed together words to you. Shaved, lotioned, perfumed, pathetic little ass sitting at the end of his bar in a too sticky, too uncomfortable stool waiting for him. Always waiting for him.

You shake your head no at him and his proffered next round. No you don’t want another fucking drink. What you want is his attention. 

And the worst part is, probably the worst, for there are so many bad parts to this, is that you don’t truly think he’s a terrible person, Din. He’s just so… he’s just– you don’t know. Sad, busy, exhausted, selfish, overwhelmed, so many things. But not bad, not actually a bad person. You’re sure of it. And it might look so differently from the outside, like you’re nothing, like he uses you, and sure, in ways, he does. You’re not so stupid or naive to not see this for what it is, because if there is one thing that is crystal clear here, it’s that you’ve always known what this is and what it is not. But you also see him. You also know him, as hard as he’s tried to keep you at arms length, to not let you see, to not let you in, you’ve weaseled your way inside anyways, or, better said, and something you don’t let yourself dwell on too much for the things it makes your stupid brain and heart feel, he has never been very good at not letting you see him. Because despite all the truths of how this thing between the two of you is, or is not, there is also something, as small as it may be, that is real here. 

So no, Din is not bad, or not all bad. And it’s easy to call them excuses, but you’re not so sure that’s the only thing they are, the ways in which you justify his behavior or yours. Because there is also context to him, and his life, and the things that drag his attention away from you when you so desperately need and want it, why you know he won’t commit to one single thing because he knows how easily lost a good thing can be. 

You take a pull from your straw, paper, and it’s already coming apart in wet flakes on your tongue because this dumb bar he works at pretends to be swanky, and paper straws are obviously a signifier that it’s not the cheap, shitty dump it actually is. Mean, but you’re in a bad mood tonight. Peli, the owner, had him string up multicolored lights and decorations everywhere for the holiday season, and it sort of looks like Santa threw up in here, but it’s also nice. Cozy or comfortable or welcoming, something happy and cheerful about the crowd surrounded by the sparkle of the holiday and loose from the heavily poured liquor. Or maybe it’s just that you know he put up the decorations. That he’d been good and patient and helpful as the older woman, eccentric and curly haired and a little stern and potty mouthed as she is, but always kind to him, had directed him as she pleased. Giving orders so that the bar could look as lovely and warm and cheerful as it does now. He always looks at her with such care and warmth, and you alway see it, as much as he tries to hide it. 

He’d added a splash of sweet grenadine and a maraschino cherry into your drink tonight, and called it your slutty Shirley Temple, said you looked like you needed something sweet followed by one of those cocky little winks he thinks make him look hot, they do, but you tell him only make him look like an asshole. All of which you know is only his way of telling you, without actually telling you, that he’s going to be shoving his cock down your throat later tonight. Something sweet… yeah, sure. There’s nothing sweet about him. 

He always tells you so many things neither of you want the other to know with his eyes. The stupid things, the silly things, the real things, it doesn’t really matter. He can’t ever help it. 

The first time he’d told you about his parents, you’d thought: this is it, this is something real. The come down had been a singular type of devastating you don't think you’d recovered from to this day. They’d died in a home invasion, a robbery gone terribly, terribly wrong, when he’d been two months shy of eighteen; left him with too much responsibility and too much grief for a boy of seventeen to bear, to ever be able to grow into without growing a little bit skewed in the process. When he’d introduced you to his little brother, the first time, you’d been better prepared, better in control of yourself and your expectations. But still, still you’d let a small, small part of you let it mean something. Grogu, Greg, but they used to watch this cartoon together about this man, a warrior, a space cowboy of sorts, who finds a little green baby, more frog looking than baby looking, called Grogu and takes him in as his own, bringing him along on all his adventures through the big, wide galaxy. They’d always joked that Greg looked like the frog baby, and so, Grogu. 

The first time he’d asked you to come over, you’d forced yourself to not throw up as you’d seen the text come in, had to force away thoughts of this has to mean something, please, please, let this mean something more. And the kid had been asleep already anyways when he’d smuggled you inside, quick and quiet, locking the door to his bedroom behind you, messy and lived in and Din, Din, Din everywhere, pressed you into his rumpled mattress, and fucked you til you’d cried and bit your tongue until you’d tasted blood to keep in all the things you had inside to tell him. And in the morning, when he’d made you a cup of coffee and oh, isn’t he nice for that? The kid had stumbled out of his bedroom, dinosaur pj’s and sleep rumpled curls the same warm mahogany shade as his older brother’s turned pseudo father, and he’d had his waffles while you’d sat there between the two of them as Din’d clucked around making lunches, sipping from your mug trying as best you could to be a good girl and not whip around and scream at the man that this has to mean something more, please. 

The kid had eyed you skeptically, as if you’d had two heads, little fuzzy brow cocked high up towards his curl covered hairline while he chomped loudly on his waffles. More syrup than bread, but who were you to judge? 

“Are you Din’s girlfriend?”

And rather than drop dead on the spot or bear the devastation of hearing the refusal come out of his older brother’s mouth, the second you’d seen Din’s own eyebrows shoot up towards his hairline, mouth falling open to probably tell him no, absolutely not, she’s nothing even close to being my girlfriend, you’d said as easy as you could manage, “No, we’re just friends.” Even added in a fake, tepid smile as you’d said the words. And now, as time’s passed since then, when you think back on the memory, you tell yourself that you’d imagined the frown and scowl that’d pulled Din’s face down into something that looked a little like annoyance or anger or confusion. He’d never done anything to make you think you were anything otherwise, and so what good did it do to dwell on the maybe false memory of his look of disappointment at your words? None at all, surely. 

But you’re pretty sure you’re the only girl that’s ever been let into their space like that.

He’s at the other end of the bar now, engrossed in a conversation with someone who’s too sparkly and too pretty and too blonde to be anything but trouble for you. His tall, deceptively lanky form that you know beneath the dark baggy, long sleeved tee he’s wearing is strong and muscled and warm as a furnace, curved over the lip of the bar to lean further towards her. They’ve been talking for about five minutes now, yes, you’ve been counting, and your heart is doing that horrible thing it does where it hurts so bad it feels like it’s ripping in half all on its own. You want to look away, especially as you watch the long, gorgeous form of his hand, big, strong hands that you know exactly what they feel like wrapped around your throat, clutching your breasts, lift slowly towards the glowing Christmas lights necklace the girl’s got hanging around her neck, the cheery red and green lights nestled deep in her cleavage. He plucks at the necklace, giving it a little tug and says something to her that has her throwing her head back, and she sparkles, she really does, with those sort of laughs that tinkle like bells or something equally fucking ridiculous.

“We should just go, babe,” Bo says from beside you, glaring down at him so intensely you’re shocked he hasn’t keeled over dead at this point. 

“Just a little bit longer, Bo, please.” 

“God, I can’t watch this shit anymore.” She pushes up and out of her stool with a roll of her eyes, but passes a loving hand down the back of your hair as she goes. “I’m gonna go try and pick up that red head sitting in the back. She’s been eyeing me all night,” she smirks at you. 

“You cannot date another ginger. That is too much ginger for one household.”

“Oh, shut up. You’re in love with the devil, I can do whatever I want. And I can’t watch him anymore, I don’t have the stomach for it.”

You try and protest as she walks away from you, tell her that you’re not in love with him, that he’s not the devil, that you don’t have the stomach for it either, but she’s gone before you can muster your lies. When you turn back towards the bar he’s abandoned his Christmas lights blonde and is pouring drinks for a group of frat guys, checking I.D.s and making easy, charming conversation. He’s strange in that way, quiet and reserved by nature, which you know now because you know him, but he puts on a face in here, in Peli’s bar in front of the customers and the pretty girls and the people expecting him to perform for them, making nice and pleasant. It’s just one more thing that feeds your delusion, the fact that you see his smile for what it is, the too handsome, too shiny version you know isn’t the real one. 

You know that despite the fact that Bo loves you, she also thinks you’re a little sad, a lot weak, when it comes to him. Maybe even, and you know she’d never say this because she’s a good and loving friend, but maybe even a little pathetic or desperate. And maybe you are, or definitely, you don’t really care about the details of it at this point, but maybe there’s also something about him that’s slightly desperate too. Desperate for love or attention or companionship. Maybe that’s why he always feels the need to search for it in so many different places. Maybe he wants it so bad he’s scared of it. Or maybe he’s just easy. Maybe he’s just a whore. 

You don’t know if the why’s of it all really matter anymore. 

He serves the group their shots and beers, all of them clinking their glasses together loudly, hooting and wishing each other a Merry Christmas, and you want to snap that it’s not Christmas yet, it’s still the twenty third, it’s a special day that should be remembered, but you turn away. Try to swallow the heat in your face and throat, take deep breaths. Bo’s right, the two of you should go, but when you turn to search for her, she’s deep in conversation with the red head, gorgeous, strong and tall and just her type. Their two heads huddled closely together beneath the red lights that turn their hair both brighter shades of auburn. And you know you can’t interrupt. At least one of you should have a good night tonight. But when you turn back around, ready to join the frat bros in on their shots, he’s there. 

You swivel in your stool, catching yourself on the lip of the bar, digging your nails into the wood grain until it hurts, staring at him in silence. 

“What?” he asks with that slightly provoking smile he forces on you when he knows you’re bothered and refuse to open your stubborn mouth and just speak up. 

“Nothing.” Stubborn, sullen. Terrible.

He hums, laughter dancing in his eyes that pisses you off. He knows you’re bothered, knows you won’t say anything about it either. “Want another?”

“Sure.” You might as well get drunk if you’re going to have to watch him be a jackass all night long. 

He starts to move about, gathering the things for your cocktail. “You like the grenadine I added?”

“Yeah, it’s good.”

He looks at you with a half smile and a cocked brow as he measures the shot. He never makes your drinks as heavy handed as the others, says you’re a bad drunk. Whatever. “Yeah? You like the Christmas decorations?”

“They’re nice.” He hums again at your sullen tone. And you want to be nicer, happier, peppier, whatever it is that would be enough to make this all right and better between the two of you, inside of you, but you just can’t. You can’t force yourself into a shape that’s okay with being without him, and it’s getting harder and harder to pretend it’s something you’re capable of. 

He adds your two limes and tops the drink off with a Santa printed mini umbrella Peli had gotten an order of in bulk, pushing the glass into your hand. He braces his hands against the bar edge, watching you as you bring the drink up to taste, peering over the edge to keep your eyes on him. The lights twinkle over head, washing him in a glow of greens and reds and warmth, and his eyes do that terrible sparkle you hate in return. 

Sometimes you think he likes it when you’re pissy. Turns him on or something which sickly, stupidly, in turn, riles you up, knowing he’s turned on by your anger. 

You take a long pull of the fizzy, mildly sweet drink, licking your lips of the tang and bubbles when you pull it away, and watch as his eyes go a little hazy, glassed over as he watches the wet of your tongue peek out to lick up the drops of sweet liquor. You watch a swallow pass through the strong column of his throat, and his gaze is still on your mouth when he cocks his head at you. “C’mere,” he murmurs, eyes shifting to take in the crowd, the customers and the status of their drinks before he’s tugging at your hand over the bar, drawing you out of your seat and along the length of it from the other side. 

“To where?” You whisper at him, nerves of excitement, of want, fluttering in your belly and throat all fizzy and sweet. He tips his chin at the cracked open door of the stock room, the warm glow from within peering out, and then back again once over at the crowd before you’re at the end of the bar, and he’s tugging you inside after him. You tip your chin over your shoulder just before he kicks the door shut behind you, taking in Peli’s knowing look and the laughing shake of her head, and then it’s just the two of you. Hungry and hurried as he’s pulling you into himself, big hands immediately cupping your ass to tug you up into him with a cracked groan. “Want to fucking kiss you so bad,” he licks into your mouth, tasting like the coffee he drinks too much of and the cinnamon gum you know he’s always chewing. 

“Din–” and you’re about to protest, say that everyone’ll have seen the two of you come in here, Peli, the blonde Christmas light girl, that the whole bar is going to think he brought you in here for a quick fuck, but you and he both know you don’t really care if anyone thinks that. That probably, if you’re really honest, you’d be glad for everyone to think you’re his that way. So you kiss him back. Arms looping around his neck to hang off of him, fingers twining in the thick curls at the nape of his neck, the hair there so silky smooth, cool at the ends but warm and damp at the roots. And this is what you were talking about, when he kisses you like he loves you which makes you hate him. All tongue and teeth and desperation. His mouth sliding against yours, spit slick and heat heavy. Big hands kneading at your ass, clutching at the short skirt of your dress, pulling it up so he can shove his palm between the nylon of your tights and your warm skin and cup you over the wet mound of your cunt. 

“Fucking warm and soft for me, baby.” He kisses his way down your neck, licking at your cleavage, tugging at your ear. “You smell so good,” and he squeezes you against himself, dragging his palm back and forth over your pussy as best as the constricting tights let him. “I can’t wait to fuck you later.”

“Me either, Din,” you say because there’s nothing else to say besides, I love you. Please, love me back. He groans into your mouth, pressing you back into a little arc hooked over his arm, something frenzied and a little sloppy about the way he kisses you like he wants you so much he can’t control himself. And when the two of you stumble out a few minutes later, hair tousled and flushed with heat, the shine of your lipgloss transferred onto his own lips and those sparkly eyes of his cranked up to blinding so that the whole bar can see what it is the two of you have been up to in the stock room, there’s nothing but sweet, fizzy pleasure suffusing your belly. Even if it isn’t real, everyone else thinks it is, maybe for tonight that can be enough. 

-

“The tree’s really cute,” you say as he helps you out of your coat, unwrapping the scarf from around your neck, round and round until he lets it slither from his hand onto the messy floor of his bedroom. 

“Yeah, well, G wanted a real one so… my ass went out and got him a real one.” 

You reach up to card your fingers through the floppy curls falling over his forehead, pushing them back to twist in your fingers and pull his head down towards yours. “Good brother,” you murmur against his mouth. You want to ask him if he remembers what tonight is; wanted to ask him all night but kept your mouth shut for fear of that utterly vacant look in his eyes when he’d have no idea what you were talking about. 

He settles into your kiss, knees bent to come down to your level, sighing deep and long as he licks at you slowly, sucks on your bottom lips, a gentle nip. “Looked so pretty for me tonight,” he says, and he’s such a good kisser, and all you can say is a breathless thank you, trying to swallow the immediate lump in your throat back down because the only other thing to say would be you’re right, it’s all for you, or I hate it when you say these things to me, I hate it when you’re nice to me and then turn around and act like I’m a stranger, like I’ve never meant anything to you at all. You press up higher, insistent, on your tiptoes, trying to get closer, more of him. He runs his hands up the length of your spine, one arm banding around your waist, the other coming up to twist in your hair, tugging your head back sharply and pulling your mouth from his. 

“What do you want, sweet girl?”

And what a cruel, terrible question. You, is what you should say. Ruin the moment or the false magic, glass shattered on the white cloth. And so, “Fuck me,” is all you say instead because that’s all this is anyway. He peers down at you, fathomless look on his face, no more bright sparkle in his eyes, something more like an ember. You think you like this look better, it’s more for you, and there's something satisfying about that. 

“Okay, baby. Whatever you want.”

He pulls your clothes from you slowly, and he can be so tender sometimes, slow and precise in the things he does, the way he moves. Sometimes he fucks you hard and fast and sloppy. But not always. Other times he does it in a way that is much, much worse. Slow and deep and intentional. He lays you out across his messy bed and spreads you open for himself. Starts at your feet, kissing the soles and the creases and marks over the arches and around your ankles from your tights and boots. Up the slope of your calf, teeth dragging sharply, a little too hard over the muscle. He kisses the backs of your knees, a place only he has ever thought to kiss, and you won’t cry, but you’d like to. His tongue along the soft of your thighs, stubble chafing and tickling, and when he finally gets to your cunt, soaking wet, glossy with your slick for him, his tongue drags up your slit slow and teasing one second, deep, fucking inside of you the next. He makes you come on his face twice before he even thinks of being nice and letting up. Sucking on your clit, taking each soft lip gentle, gentle between the edge of his teeth and tugging so soft you almost don’t feel it. He licks and licks and slurps up your wet, and you know he enjoys this because of his own sounds. When he rips his t-shirt over his head because he’s steaming with sweat and want, the zip of his jeans ringing so that he can get his fist around his cock and jack himself while he licks up the splash of your second orgasm. 

He kisses you everywhere when he’s had his fill, twists and turns you this way and that, groping and kneading and taking every inch of you in so that no spot of skin is left uninspected or untasted. Pulls you up and under his arm so he can peer down at you from behind, lemme look at that little asshole now, he says all nasty the way he gets sometimes, and spreads your cheeks apart. You brace yourself against the column of his throat and hold on to the bulge of his bicep and try and breathe through your mouth and pray for control and temperance and the will to not spill all your truths to him. Difficult, when he manhandles you like this, when he pets and licks and kisses you all over and tells you how pretty all your holes are for him. 

His cock is so hard when he finally settles on his knees between your spread thighs, on your back again so that you can see his pulse in the tiny, subtle beat of his erection as it stands up, curving towards his flat belly. No condom, and you want to say thank you for letting you feel him like this. 

He pushes your knees wide and grips his cock, twisting his fist around the sticky glossed head, flushed red almost purple. You love it when he’s this hard, when you know it’s all for you, when you know you’re the only one in this moment that can fix it for him. 

“Get it wet for me,” he nods his head at your slick cunt, parted and bared to him just like he likes. You dip your fingers into the well of wetness, play in it, watch the shiny string of slick stretch between your pussy and fingers, and no one makes you as wet or as desperate as he does, and like he can read your mind he tells you, no one makes me as hard as you do, and you do not tell him that that isn’t something you want to hear, that that isn’t something that makes you feel good. The reminder that there are others. 

You wrap your slippery fingers around his cock, coating him in yourself and when you pull him towards you, notching him at the mouth of your cunt, and finally – finally, I’ve been waiting for this all night, and you can’t even tell who says it – it’s so fucking good that all the rest of it is worth it for this singular feeling right here. 

He pushes in, in, in, heavy balls pressed against the wet curve of your bottom, and you’re so soaked it’s slid down between your ass, marked his sheets with you, swings his hips back all smooth and wet and shoves back inside. His mouth is at your tits, folded over you, caging you in, biting and sucking on bare, tight nipples he tells you belong to him, cunt he fucks hard and deep he tells you also belongs to him.

He pulls an ankle up over his shoulder, changes the angle and drills into you hard and fast, other knee hooked over his elbow so you’re pressed and folded and presented to him just how he likes and needs, and he makes you say his name over and over, tells you exactly how he wants you to come on his cock just for him. His pelvis bumps your clit on every push forward, too thick cock wedged inside your cunt so that you’re stretched around him and no matter how many times you do this, it always hurts just a little. Like everything else the two of you do together. 

“You feel so fucking good,” he groans. “You take it so fucking good. Don’t come yet– don’t come. With me– wait for me. I want it together.” And you do cry at that, when he changes the angle once more and shoves in hard against your g-spot, the fat tip of his cock punching against it over and over so that there’s heat pooling at the base of your spine, stars flashing behind your closed lids, your breasts going hot and heavy and tight, stomach clenching with the effort to stave off your orgasm and do as he asks. He breathes into your mouth, and it’s all hot and damp skin and your sweaty limbs sliding against each other, open mouth to open mouth. 

“Now,” he says, pulls you onto him deeper with a tight grip on your ass, long fingers wrapped over the curve so that he can feel the wet, stretched place where he takes you, makes you his. “Take the whole fucking thing,” he whispers against your lips, and as your cunt goes tight as a knot, painful in that way that only he can make it, that’s so good, that way that always keeps you coming back for more, you finally start to cry real tears. Not just from his cock but from the whole of him, from everything he does to you. Your heart beats fast, fast, fast, and you count the days in the month til your period, the little game you like to play with yourself when the two of you are bad like this, and then decide you don’t really give a fuck as he starts to fill you with the heat of his come.

He stays inside of you for too long after the last throb of his cock. Rubbing his lips all over your neck and shoulders and tits, tasting you and giving you too much time to memorize the pattern and cadence of his breathing. And when he pulls out and pulls back to look at the slick, puffy sight of your cunt full of his come, he bends to lick you clean like he always does. Gives you one more orgasm, the last nail in the coffin or your heart. 

Sated and spent, you glance at the clock, and it’s officially Christmas Eve. You know he goes all out for Grogu, milk and cookies for Santa, stockings and gifts, the works. He is an exceptionally good brother, all a child could need in a father figure, and there had never really been any chance of you doing anything else besides loving him. 

When you pull the gift from your bag, heart in your throat and halfway to regret but more resolve than you’ve ever had in his presence, you tell yourself that if this brings on the end of everything, that you’ll find a way to be okay with it. If you’ve gone too far, done too much, you’ll accept it, count your losses, and what great losses they’ll surely be, but you’ll move on as best you can. 

You’d picked some pretty, baby blue paper with little red robins on it, a soft gold ribbon tied around the package. The sight of it makes you want to cry. You’d tried so hard, you really had. 

He’s quiet when you put it into his hands, staring down at it like it’ll reach out and bite his head off if he blinks even once. Swallowing several times before he says, “You didn’t have to get me anything.”

“I know. It’s– it’s for the both of you, kind of.” Him and his little brother.

“I didn’t get you anything.”

“No– that’s okay. I know. You didn’t have to.” Your voice comes out all breathless and full of nerves. You should’ve put your clothes on before you did this, made for a quicker, easier get away if necessary. 

He pulls the wrapping apart slowly, gently untying your ribbon, long fingers carefully picking at the little pieces of tape at each end so that he doesn’t tear the paper and disturb the robins. 

“Where did you get this?” He says when he’s finally unwrapped it, his voice telling you instantly that you’ve made a terrible mistake. 

“It– it was in your drawer. I–”

“You went through my stuff?” He says, eyes snapping up to yours, finally looking away from the photograph you’d copied and framed for him. A picture of him and Grogu and his parents. Grogu, a baby, Din, a boy of maybe eight, gap toothed, cheesy grin and messy curls between his smiling parents. They looked, very much, like a deliriously happy family, and you’d thought it such a shame it was stuffed in his sock drawer when you’d found it, left to be forgotten. You’d only wanted to do something nice for him. 

“N–no. I mean… not intentionally. I was looking for my extra clothes – the ones you told me to leave here – and I–” your lashes flutter, overwhelmed. He suddenly looks so angry. “I saw it in your drawer. I didn’t mean– I didn’t mean to… I’m sorry, I–” You don’t know what to say. All of your falsely held control in tatters at your feet and tears in your eyes as you take in the horrible look on his face. Shocked, angry, hurt, but his gaze leaves the photograph again, shifts back to your face at the crack in your voice. 

He presses forward, as if to reach for you, realizing you’re about to cry. “It’s fine.” I’m sorry, Din, you murmur again. “It’s just–” He shakes his head, a frustrated noise in his throat, his voice all graveled and cracked like yours. He seems so much like a boy in this moment. A child confronted by a past he was too young to lose when he did, forced into the shape of a man too soon. “You know that this–we–” He motions between the two of you.

“Yes. I do,” you cut him off quickly. Assuming what he’s going to cut down here between the two of you before he gets the words out. He doesn’t need to say it, not out loud. He doesn’t need to be that cruel. The strength it takes the both of you to bite your tongues in that moment, as you take each other in, swells to a near painful pressure, and there is something so sick here between the two of you. His eyes are glossy with emotion and everything he won’t ever let himself tell you or anyone else, and you so badly want to tell him that it’s only that it’s hard to be casual when your favorite bra lives in his dresser, and also that you’re in love with him. 

“Thank you,” he finally says quietly, and you can’t answer, looking away out at the dark night through his murky paneled window. It looks like it’s about to snow, all the ingredients for a perfect Christmas at play. The room is so warm and his bed is so comfortable, and you feel so full of fragile and soft things inside. “You’re going to see your family tomorrow?” He still has the picture frame in his hands, fingers smoothing methodically over the edges, thumb swiping gently over the happy faces inside. 

You clear your throat, “Yeah, tonight. I’m going to my parents house, spending the night there.” And it’s on the tip of your tongue to invite the both of them to come too. You know your parents would love to have them, you would love to have them there, him, but the words stick in your throat with the fear of his rejection, and the two of you fizzle awkwardly into a heavy silence. 

You look out at the window again, too much of a coward to look into those bright eyes, but you can feel his gaze on you, singing the side of your face, and suddenly you feel him scoot over towards you. Deep sigh, dragging the duvet with him, wrapped around his bare shoulders all messy hair and flushed cheeks still steaming from your sex. No one should look like he does. No one. It’s the most unfair thing that’s ever happened to you in your whole life. He grips you around the bend of your bare knee, pulls you halfway into his lap, and your eyes are still fixated out on the night, the dark much safer than anything that lives inside this room.

“You remember when we met?” He says. The tears are back. “It was tonight.” Two years ago.

You tip your chin at the window. “At the restaurant…”

“...Down on eighty seventh street. Two years ago.”

“Yes.” You finally look at him. “I remember,” you whisper. Your mouth feels so dry, your heart so flinty.  

“The place had all those string lights put up, and we sat at that table outside in the back behind that group having their Christmas work party. You remember?” Of course you do. You only can't believe he remembers. He’d been wearing an olive green half zip sweater, and he’d smelled of laundry detergent and whiskey and cinnamon gum when he’d kissed you for the first time. 

“I had the best old fashioned I’ve ever had at that place. We should go back. And it was so cold, you remember? You never stopped shivering.”

“Yes, Din. I remember.”

“That was a good night.”

“Sure it was,” and it comes out with a bite you can’t help, for so many reasons you can and cannot explain. 

He gives one of those non committal hums he loves to provoke you with, that little glint back in his eyes. “Sure it was? What?”

“Nothing.”

“Is there something you wanna talk about?” The white elephant in the room, come to ruin everything, shatter all the glass, disturb the dust in your hair and break your heart. 

He tips your head back by your chin, two fingers holding you there, never letting you go. You shake your head at him caught up in his grasp like that. “No. I don’t want to talk about anything.”

And he gives you the strangest look, and for one second you wonder suddenly if that look you’ve always taken as provoking is not so much teasing, but more pleading, more knowing. “No…” he says, chews on his thoughts, strong, scruffy jaw with the heart shaped patch moving side to side. “I know you don’t,” and leans forward to press one single soft, chaste kiss to your open mouth. “You know what you are?” He says then, and the look is now entirely unknowable, confusing. 

Your eyes flick back to the window. “What?” Back to him again, breathless. 

“You’re my girl.” And out of the corner of your eye, you can see that there, finally, is the Christmas snow.

Netherfeildren's Masterlist

Updates Blog!

[satoruhour]

reader x toji where they hav an argument nd the reader dresses slutty and suddenly has plans at the club w her friends. but toji doesnt like that 🫣

a/n: IM HERE . IM HERE SORRY IVE BEEN RB-ING SO MANY THINGS !!!! but i promise im writing hahahaha. but also i dont owe anyone an explanation! enjoy anon!

wc: 1.4k

warnings: toji picks ur lock w/ a bobby pin lol, reader is a little mean LMFAO but #valid, dom!toji, pussy drunk tojiiiii, implied overstimulation, oral / cunnilingus (from the back + face-sitting + lying on ur back), exhibitionism? (reader is on call with her friends but her girls don’t know she’s getting eaten out!), implied unprotected p -> v sex @ the end, implied creampie / breeding kink, n*sfw under the cut

“yeah— but you didn’t have to say it like that!” you huffed out at your boyfriend, or so you thought, because you probably had read too much into this relationship, heart tearing apart when toji simply said he was with his woman, with benefits while on the phone with shiu. 

you tsked when toji opened his mouth to explain, a distraught expression on his face that implied it was a slip of his mouth but even then you were relentless about the simple slip-up that meant a lot to you. it wasn’t often that toji had anything but an indifferent expression on him and you’d relish in his panicking face with a smug grin if it wasn’t for your rage.

“stupid fucker — still thinkin’ i’m just some bitch he fucks like he doesn’t whine for me in his sleep,” you grumble to yourself mindlessly later, phone blowing up from the messages from your friends while you scour through various outfits that slowly flood your bed. 

No way he said that!!!! Wtf???? Who does he think he is?

let’s bring u out tonight babe. wear sum cute

yeah!!. Let’s get ur mind off of that lame fella . he still kinda hot tho…

it’s messy and there’s a continuous clash of colour with each skirt or top you pull out and you groan in annoyance, so you take a shower — and it’s not all that better either, mulling over that dreaded sentence while lathering yourself up, while washing it off, getting dressed. it pisses you off so much that a man’s words can affect you so much, but that’s the price you pay when it comes to toji.

the toji who gives you a crushed, bloody bouquet after coming back from one of his dangerous missions, the toji who grumbles while he pushes the last nugget in the mcdonald’s box toward you despite loving it, the toji who likes to feel your body against his because he’s said that the mere sensation of you pressed up against him is enough to make him cum.

you scoff when you hear a knock on the door, in the midst of pulling an extremely short skirt up your hips with your ass basically peeking out from under it, paying it no mind before securing a tube around your bust.

“shut the fuck up!” you bark back when toji knocks again and there’s silence altogether, rolling your eyes when there’s a dramatic sigh from behind the wooden door and your feet naturally has you swerving away from the bed to open up the door, if not for the call from your girls that come in. the ringtone echoes throughout the room, distracting you from the professional work being done by toji with one of your bobby pins.

with phone on the bed, it’s led to your ass being propped up while you’re on your hands, butt facing the door with a full on display of your miniskirt and the very lacey underwear toji’s gotten for you for your anniversary. it was a petty move, you know — everything felt right when you pulled the material over your legs after your shower, not expecting yourself to pick up such a revealing bottom.

but now you know everything definitely felt right when those panties pooled at one of your ankles that hang off the bed while you’re trying not to whimper into the call with your girls who’s just so excited to see you. it’s a wonder they haven’t already heard the sloppy noises of toji eating it from the back, hands gripping onto your ass cheeks so hard they form bruises and you don’t have it in you to give a fuck when the other licks a hot, long stripe up your folds.

“left the house already, hon?” one of your friends ask and you’re gripping so tightly onto the phone that it hurts a little, not missing the way toji mumbles out that your pussy tastes as sweet as ever.

“uh— ah! n-not yet!” you squeal when toji smiles into your cunt and you absolutely hate how your hips shimmy toward him instinctively when your boyfriend pulls on your thighs to bring you closer, “i’ll leave soon, o-okay— mm—”

“babe?”

“okay bye!” you panic and press the large red button, hanging up immediately before your moans increase in volume immediately and your head dips into the bedsheets. the man eats pussy like a starved man, slobbering over your pussy while his nose just takes in your scent and arousal — something that’s gotten him hooked since day one. your leaking hole, your sensitive clit, your twitching thighs. god, toji loved every part of you and he was determined to fuck you better than a friend with benefits.

“’m sorry baby, mmfhh—” toji grunts into your core, “any chance ya could forgive your old man?”

the hold on your pride was getting looser and looser while your hands only clutch the sheets tighter and tighter, whimpers turning into a borderline scream when the man manoeuvres himself under you and yanks you down onto his face. your arms support your limp body instantly, hips moving with their own mind as you grind into toji’s tongue with breathless pants, rolling your pelvis over him and he groans at the feeling. toji doesn’t care that your miniskirt is in the way, eyes peeking out from the fabric and flitting over to you and your breath hitches cause you know he’s serious in earning back your forgiveness.

“not when— haah… you’re still saying i’m just some— w-whore you fuck.” you’re still a little bitter, but toji below you is enough to make you clench around nothing, high already approaching when he switches between sucking and nibbling and flicking his tongue at your bundle of nerves. 

“slip of the tongue, i promise, doll,” he talks into your drooling pussy, the vibrations sending chills up your body, hands flying to his hair to grab onto toji’s hair and pulling, “you’re my cute lil girlfriend, aren’t ya?” you hate how easily you nod your head, “mine to fuck, and mine to eat out, yeah?”

that sentence alone has you needing to lock eyes with toji just for a moment to see his lips curl up slyly, bottom half of his face soaked with your juices that your stomach contracts a little at the sight, a weak whimper leaving your lips.

“yeah…” you mumble out breathlessly and that’s all it takes for toji to go back to eating, quickly bringing that burning coil in your tummy again while slurping up your arousal. the room feels so hot and you’re sure you’re sweating through your outfit that you so carefully picked out that you’re peeling it off your body. your lover only wraps his larger arms around your thighs when he sees that your pretty tits are out, intoxicated on the thin layer of sweat lining your body and the curve of your upper body.

“toji, toji, toji—” you’re chanting his name like it’s a mantra, dizzy from the constant abuse toji does to your clit, pleasure shooting through your body when he moans around your cunt and you’re cumming with a moan of his name, thighs shivering around his head that he only laughs, humming into your core while you soak his sheets and skin. you’re just about prepared to get fucked when you catch a glimpse of toji’s hand palming his bulge, but that isn’t what toji has in mind when he changes positions again.

“taste s’good, baby,” toji groans, pulling apart your thighs that close from the sensitivity, “let me eat ya out until i’m forgiven.”

and all he can do is stick to his words whenever after each orgasm he pulls from you, you’re shaking your head like you’re saying you aren’t forgiven and he figures out your game soon enough, but whatever his girlfriend says, it goes. it’s just like that for toji who worships every part of you, a mistake rewarded well later when he taps his fat, leaking tip on your cunt and slips in easily from how many times he’s made you cum, reaching nirvana just from hearing your still-loud mewls leaving your worn-out body.

it’ll be something that will be burnt into his brain, forever, but toji doesn’t have time to think about that for now, so he just fucks you like he thinks a sorry man should fuck — deep into your cunt with the promise of being better and the need of giving you everything you ask for, even if it’s something as simple of wanting his cum in you.

whatever his princess wants, his princess gets.

i cannot go a day without mentioning breeding omfg im actually deranged

[fgojous]

BONNIE AND CLYDE.

You can exceed all things because you’re you and he’s him— and together, you’re both unstoppable.

+ pairings. sanzu haruchiyo x f!reader.

+ tags. romance, heavy angst, fluff, explicit sexual content, use of obscene languages, sexist slurs as part of sexual intercourse, fellatio, cunnilingus, 69, dacryphilia, edging, choking, deepthroat, praise + degrading kink, impact play, biting, unprotected sex, rough sex, vaginal fingering, mouth fucking, overstimulation, objectification, consensual image taking, violence, gun violence, mentions of blood, criminal activities, 18+ (pls tell me if i forget something 🥲)

+ word count. 3.5k

+ note. sooo hi hello, as u all know i have a big ass sanzu brainrot ahkasjljhdsal so here's the product yaaaayyyyy. sanzu and all the characters mentioned in this are aged up. ok ok hehe anw, i hope u enjoy this <3333 likes, rbs, replies are always appreciated <3 or u could send me an ask whatever makes you comfortable! lovelots 🤍

+ soundtrack. always forever by cults ; i don't wanna be okay without you by charlie burg ; arms tonite by mother mother

“Ouch!”

Sanzu exclaimed but that didn’t stop you to press the cotton on his wounds even more. “Stay still, stupid.”

“You press it so hard!” you just rolled your eyes at his childish whine and continued on cleaning the wound on his cheek.

Sanzu wrapped his arm around your waist and sits you on his lap, “Haru! I’m cleaning your wound.”

“I’m not stopping you, just sit on my lap while you do that.” you sighed but straddled him, you get yourself comfortable on his lap while he just stares at your face in silence. You didn’t notice it at first but you suddenly get this consciousness.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

He just shook his head and continued on staring at you with his dazzlingly blue eyes. Instantly, you felt the heat on the surface of your skin, you just cleared your throat and looked away from his eyes and continued on nursing his wounds.

“Why do you stay with me?”

You smiled, there is no any sane reason why you stay with a man like Sanzu— your friends always tell you that, even your family. But you never listen to them because they don’t know him. They don’t know how he is to you.

All that they see is just the tip of the iceberg. Sanzu may be like this but there’s more to him and that is all for you to see.

But you know they’re right, Sanzu isn’t good for you. Heck, they don't even know all the bad things that you have done with him and they're like this already; you have joined a riot, street racing, shoplift, gambling, drive under the influence, get high, drink until you’re both far from yourselves and cause disturbance in the club. Hell, you two are banned on this particular nightclub and was jailed overnight because of your stupidity— luckily, Koko both bailed you out.

The worst you both did was rob a bank and you think it won’t stop at that.

“Cause you’re crazy.” you paused and smiled at him, “And I’m just as crazy as you.”

You both know you’re not good for each other, you bring out all the worst in each other. You both do things that a sane person wouldn’t do in a lifetime.

Though, ironically, you also bring the best out of each other.

“Hmm. You aren’t wrong there.”

You hummed as you kiss his scar located on the side of his lips, it was your favorite thing to do and Sanzu totally loves it when you do that. “There. All done.”

“But baby...” Sanzu started, you looked at him. “My dick also needs nursing.”

“Oh yeah?” you asked as you slowly kneel down in front of him, “Let me see.”

You unzip his pants in a slow manner while you look at Sanzu who’s currently looking down at you with a visible smirk in his handsome face.

“Uh-huh. See?” he said once you took his pants down to his feet, leaving his erect cock straight to your face.

“Oh.” you cooed, wrapping your hand on his shaft giving it slow pumps, “I’m going to take good care of it, hm?”

Sanzu started groaning, his breathing gradually gets ragged as you move your hand up and down his cock, dick jolting a little bit under your hold as Sanzu is eager to feel the insides of your pretty warm mouth.

“Mouth, now.” he ordered, but you’re a gutsy little vixen. You were never scared of Sanzu, so why would you obey him when you get to tease him like this? “Fuck... now. Don’t make me shove it in your mouth.”

It was like your ears were plugged; you’re blatantly ignoring him. You didn’t hesitate to lean in and give him false hope, instead of sucking him whole, you gave the tip of his cock kitten licks— tasting a bit of a precum that was coming out of his slit.

The next you knew, Sanzu was holding a fistful of your hair into his hand— shoving his dick inside your mouth, deep into your throat. “Told you not to make me shove it in your mouth.”

You gripped his thighs as you try and relax your throat but Sanzu was bobbing your head like your mouth was a fuck toy, his hips moving as he jerk his dick in your mouth harshly. A bit of tears coming out of your eyes causing for Sanzu to laugh like a maniac. “Not so sly now, are you? Shit, yeah suck my cock.”

You groaned, feeling the cloth in your crotch area getting wet. Sanzu watches you with a dilated pupil, mouth slightly ajar. He loves the sight of you, helpless under his hold, tears staining your cheeks while your soft lips wrapped around his cock with a bit of saliva dripping from the side of your mouth, you suck him so devotedly like his dick is your place of worship.

Sanzu’s other hand reached for your face, outlining the trace of your tears that fell to your cheeks, widely smiling.

“So pretty with a cock in your mouth...” he reached for his phone in his pocket and pointed the camera in your face, taking a snap of your face with his cock in your mouth, you didn’t protest because you’re used to him taking a picture of you while you suck him off.

Sanzu smiles triumphantly as he looks at the photo while mumbling beautiful before throwing it on the couch.

“Your mouth is mine, hm?” he pulled your head away from his cock, giving you some air. “Answer.”

You gasp, looking up at him with your glistening eyes, “Yes. It’s yours, all of me is yours.”

“Good.” he shoves his dick back on your mouth, pace was even faster than before. Your mouth was wide, jaw was getting a bit sore but it never crossed your mind to stop Sanzu because you know yourself that you like him using you like this. Letting him own you.

Sanzu was a bright light and you're blinded by him. You’d do everything for him and not even hesitate for one bit because you know he’ll do the same.

You feel the familiar hot load shoot inside your mouth and along with that was Sanzu’s long guttural moan. “Swallow it, angel.”

...

“Haru... tired. Ah!”

Forming sentences seemed like a hard job to do when Sanzu’s railing into your throbbing, probably swollen hole for hours.

“But you’re a good whore, right? That’s not what a good little slut would say...” he rammed harder, “A good girl would just let me fuck her stupid, hm?”

You squirmed when his palm came in touch with your bum, painting the complexion red with a hint of purple. Your legs were getting wobbly, your arms were getting weak. Sanzu gripped your hips and lifted your ass again, “How am I going to fuck you if you don’t get your ass up?”

“Tired... please.” you mumbled.

Sanzu groaned and flips you over, now you’re lying on your back. He spreads your legs and enters your pussy once again and all you could do was moan and babble incoherent words while he rams his cock in your soft velvet cavern, painted with his cum from earlier. “Louder, baby. Let ‘em hear you.”

You moaned a bit loud but it wasn’t enough for him, he slaps you and holds your chin. “I said louder.”

You whimpered when you felt the sting on your face, tears once again fell from your eyes. He doesn’t know if you’re moaning or crying but either way, it turns Sanzu on. A feral grin was visible on his face as he stares at you with a wanton glint in his eyes.

“That’s good. Good whore.” he grunted, pressing his hand on your throat. “Fuck- yes. You look so pretty when you cry.”

Your breast was bouncing at his every move, getting sore because of how rough he is at ploughing you. He felt your pussy clench around his cock, body arching a bit as your hips meets his every thrust. Your whimpers were getting louder and needy.

Ah, he knows what it is.

He stopped moving and removes his cock from your hole— disappointment all over your face which pleases him, he sat beside you and pumps his own dick.

“Why... let me come. Please.” you pleaded with a raspy voice, you tried to turn to your side to look at him. “Haru... come. Let me.”

“No. You already did many times.” he answered, head thrown back as he pleasures himself. “Look how wet the sheets are.”

“Please.” your shaking hands reaches for his dick, he lets you. You moved your hand up and down his shaft slowly. “Haru, please?”

He sighs, you begging like this would make him come in an instant. “Alright, pretty. Let’s do sixty-nine, hm?”

You carefully position yourself above him, your pussy facing his face while your mouth was stuffed with his cock again.

Sanzu spreads your pussy with his fingers, not hesitating to lick your slit with the flat of his tongue. Sucking and giving your clit a gentle bite causing for you to writhe above him and whimper on his cock. He then gripped your thighs that was on the side of his head to hold you still.

You let go of his cock with a pop, exchanging it with your hand as you lean your head down for a bit, closing your eyes in pleasure. “Shit— Haru!”

He spanked your ass once again, “Fuck, don’t stop. You’re doing good, baby.”

Sanzu continues on lapping your folds, giving your clit rigorous licks every now and then when his tongue reaches it. You moaned a bit loud when he thrusted his tongue in your hole, tasting his own juices. If only you could see how proud he looks when he saw how swollen your hole is.

He removes his mouth from your cunt and gives it a gentle stroke before slapping it— entering three fingers and thrusts it in relentlessly while he bites your ass.

You don’t know why Sanzu isn’t tired when you’re having sex for hours now. You can’t think of a place where he didn’t fuck you in your apartment, every nook and cranny of this house has its own memory. His cum was all over your cunt, face, breasts, thighs— basically almost all over your body.

He could go on for hours but you aren’t complaining, you’re just tired but you won’t stop him. You’re his cum dump after all.

You felt Sanzu bit your ass a bit harder and then he came inside your mouth.

You swallowed all of his juices earning a low good girl from him while he continues on thrusting his fingers inside your pussy and not long you squirted yours on his face.

You fell on top of Sanzu earning a chuckle from him before he removed you on top of him, carrying you to the bathroom and into the bath tub.

Yeah, you are a feisty little minx but once Sanzu rails you, you’re like a helpless fuck toy who’s only purpose in life was for him to use.

He climbs into the tub with you and wraps his arms around you while giving your hickey-filled neck soft kisses, soothing your aching body with his smooches. You just throw your head back on his shoulder.

Comfortable silence fills the bathroom, you just close your eyes as you let Sanzu soap you up and take care of you. It’s your deal, if he fucks you like that he has to take care of you after and as much as he loves to go rough on you— he also loves this.

“This smells good, what is this?” you whispered but enough for him to hear.

“Essential oil.” you opened your eyes and looked at Sanzu with a disbelief look, “What? Kaku said it’ll help for sore pussy. It will appease the pain, y’know?”

“What the fuck...” you murmured and laughed afterwards. Sanzu just buried his face on your neck, probably a bit shy because of what he just told you. “Do you really talk about that to them?”

“Shut the fuck up.” he said but you just laughed at him and because your laughter was infectious, he laughed with you. And now you’re two idiots laughing your asses out while you’re soaked in the tub.

Two crazy idiots, happy and in love.

The laughter dies down and you’re both silent again. Sanzu leans his forehead on the side of your head. “Don’t leave, okay?”

Sanzu knows how he is, he knows what people— your family and friends say about him. He may be tough and a low-life dangerous asshole but when it comes to you, he folds. You’re his Achilles’ heel, his kryptonite.

If he loses you, it’ll be his downfall. He’s still sane at this point but once you are gone from him, he’ll utterly lose it.

“I won’t. I’m yours forever, Haru. I’ll never leave your side.”

...

“Do you think we still have time?” Sanzu asks you as you fix his tie.

You rolled your eyes, you’re wearing a bodycon dress that makes your breast pop out. Naturally, he would want to fuck your brains out again and you would agree to that but you’re currently about to rob a bank.

“How about you fuck me later when we finish this job? Like, fuck me on a bed full of money.” you said as you wiggle your eyebrows up and down at him.

Sanzu contemplates it for a while, “You’ll keep the dress on?”

You groaned, “Of course, I’ll keep the dress on. Now, let’s go.”

Sanzu grinned and plants a small kiss on your lips before heading out of the apartment and into the car that’s waiting for the two of you.

You were tapping your fingers on your lap; you are feeling uneasy. Of course, who wouldn’t? You’re about to commit a crime again but you’re not uneasy because of what you’re doing is wrong. It’s because with this job, you don’t know every outcome.

Every heist was like you have your other foot on the grave. You don’t know what’ll happen.

“You okay?” you heard Kakucho ask you and you gave him a simple nod. Sanzu, on the flip side, held your hand and squeezed it.

“Don’t worry, baby. It’ll be like old times, hm? You’re amazing at this.” he always assures you and that feeling goes away.

Sanzu’s there. You’re together, you’re both invincible.

After a few minutes, your crew arrived at the bank.

It was an easy job; you always succeed in getting the money not until someone fucks up.

“Fuck! Fuck!” Sanzu shouts, his fingers tightly intertwined with yours as you both run while holding two big guns casually as if you aren’t outside in a public space where people see you both. “Come on, baby! Come on!”

“Shit!” you shouted and kicked your heels, not minding the rough concrete that would probably wound your soles later on. You didn’t care because you and Sanzu were both running for your life.

“Now!”

You both stopped and turned around, guns pointing at the police cars as you fire at them non-stop until you shot their tires. The people around ran and screamed; it was all you hear. The screams and the gunshots.

You two started to run again, it was supposed to be a smooth job. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

“Put down your weapons and get down on the ground!”

“Come on, we can do this. Come on.” you heard Sanzu say.

You can, right? You’ll succeed this. This is just one of your capriciously dangerous adventures. You can surpass this because you’re you and he’s him.

And together you’re both powerful, right?

Sanzu stopped and turned a bit, shooting one of the officers on his stomach. You both looked at each other briefly with a smile.

“Freeze!”

“Stop or we’ll shoot!”

“Stop where you are!”

“Fuckers! Why would we do that?! Stupid idiots!” you shouted and turned to take a shot at them. You heard your boyfriend snickered and pulled you to turn to a street, where a man was about to enter his car not until Sanzu points a gun on his head, surrendering his ride to the two of you.

“This is fucking crazy.” you panted as you look back, “Fuck, how are they still following us?”

Sanzu simply shrugged his shoulder and focuses on driving to get you both out of there and probably kill the one who fucked this job up afterwards, if that person isn’t dead yet, and he hopes he isn’t so he could put bullet holes in his dumb as fuck head.

That is the other thing on Sanzu’s mind but of course, the top priority was to get you out of harm’s way.

“Fuck! Shoot at them, you can do it.”

You took a deep breath before opening the windows and positioning yourself, shooting at the police cars but it was so damn hard because you were moving. You can’t exactly tell your boyfriend to stop because you’ll both be caught.

“What the fuck!” you yelled angrily as you change your clip, “Fucking assholes, can’t fucking die! Die!”

This isn’t a laughing matter but Sanzu was laughing his ass off because of your break down. “Come on, baby! Kill them.”

“Fuck you Haruchiyo, laugh and I’ll shoot your fucking head.” you told him. You heard Sanzu scoff and pointed his pistol at your head with his one hand on the wheel, eyes still focused on the road.

“Go on.”

You didn’t even flinch because this isn’t the first time that Sanzu pointed a gun on your head. You’re used to this already. You laughed and did the same, “Fuck, we’ll kill each other now?”

“Not if I kill you first.”

“Oh, come on, babe. Can you really live without me, hm?” you said as you gently caress his head with tip of your gun. All you got from him was a grunt as he settles his gun down.

You giggled; you both had the time to tease each other when you’re both on the run and there’s literally bullets firing at your car.

You’re both perfectly insane.

“Fucking shoot at them and stop playing me.”

You laughed and gave the scar on the side of his lips a small kiss, “Okay. I love you, Haru.”

He glanced at you for a bit, “Don’t die.”

You smirked before getting yourself ready to shoot at the cops again. Almost all your upper body was out of the window— guns firing at every single one who’s trying to ruin your life with your Haru, “I won’t! I’ll stay forever, remember-“

It was three- no, five shots were all it took for Sanzu to stop the car and pull you in his arms. No, because you were just teasing him seconds ago and now, you’re all bloody and getting cold.

His surroundings suddenly became silent. There were no guns firing at your direction. All that he could hear was your tattered breathing.

“No! Fuck!”

Sanzu’s hand shake as he tries to wipe off the blood that you were coughing out. He gently taps your face to keep you from closing your eyes, “Hey, baby. No, don’t sleep, hm? We’ll get you out of here...”

If the only thing that’ll keep you alive is to surrender then he would.

“Fuck, I said do not close your eyes!”

You smiled faintly, seeing tears falling from Sanzu’s eyes was new to you. You have never seen him like this and it hurts seeing him fall apart than the bullets pierced to your body.

Don’t cry.

You wanted to speak but every second was getting hard for you to breathe.

Haru, don’t cry. I hate seeing you like this.

“I love you. I love you so much. I love you so freaking much. Don’t leave, okay? Please.” he rested his forehead on yours, silently crying as he holds your hand. “Don’t leave me, baby.”

I love you, Haruchiyo.

Sanzu takes a deep breath and gently places your cold body on the seat next to him, cupping your cheeks and giving your forehead a kiss. With dark eyes, he loaded the sub-machine gun and opens the car door— knowing that there are cops waiting for him to do his next move.

If he loses you, he would lose it.

And he did.

With a big manic smile, he gets out and shoots every single one of them— showing no mercy. They killed you. The only woman who he loved the most. The only woman who holds the key to his heart.

He knows how this will end— a shot close to his heart.

He smiles as he tries to open his eye, face down as his blood was gushing out of him, looking at your angelic face through the car door. He always thought that it was ironic, you have the most angelic face but have the most diabolic personality.

And he loved all that, he loved all of you just as much as you loved all of him.

You both loved each other until your last breaths.

Forever, right?

[h0tchner]

Any Age, Any Day, Anywhere (Part 1) - aaron hotchner x fem!reader

pairing: aaron hotchner x fem!reader

summary: WRITTEN FOR AN ANON REQUEST: "ok hi so u already wrote a jealous reader and was wondering whats your take on jealous hotch? i mostly see him in fics as possessive and yeah being the leader type i would think he could also be possessive but i also think that he would just be sad like ya know he doubts himself as we saw in some episodes and i think he would need assurance and a lot of convincing that u only love him but if you’ve given that to him then thats the time he would be possessive and god i would love to imagine a possessive and feral aaron hotchner"

word count: 3.5k

includes: kissing, so much freaking adorable fluff, talk of body insecurities, insecure!hotch, protective!hotch, wifey reader, super brief mentions of pregnancy, alcohol, confrontation with a drunk asshole (derek & hotch are all over it tho dw), party at papa rossi's!, smut to come in next chapter...

rating: 18+ (technically there is no smut in this part, but there are adult themes such as drinking, kissing, etc.).

a/n: HELLO BESTIES! This is part one of a two-part fic! The next part will be pure filth, so keep your eyes peeled for some feral hotch content... ALSO! PLS (!!!!!!!!!!!) interact if you liked this, rb, comment, like and/or send me a request if you have ideas for future fics! i love y’all! - rivka💞

“Aaron! Can you come here for a sec?” you call out to your husband from the bathroom, muttering curses under your breath as you try (and fail) for the third time to zip up the back of your black cocktail dress.

“Sure, I just need a minute,” he replies from the bedroom closet, securing the last opalescent button on the arm of his white dress shirt. He looks at himself in the closet mirror, zeroing in at the bags under his eyes and the sprinkling of grey in his stubble. He looks… tired. Tired and old. And he hates it.

Even though Aaron is only in his late-40s, he has lived lifetimes; years of working as Unit Chief of the BAU will do that to a man. Every horror he’s seen and every person he’s lost has weighed on his body and mind. In the past few months, amidst work changes and a new baby, he’s been exhausted and in fear that he’s letting himself go. Of course, being the stoic man that he is, he’s done his absolute best to hide these feelings from you. Tonight, however, he doesn’t know if he can. It’ll be your first night out together as a couple since welcoming baby girl Hotchner to the family four months ago. With no pressing family or work distractions, he just knows that you’ll be able to sense his apprehensions. It’s only a matter of when.

Taking in a breath, he turns a little to the side, frowning at his profile. Aaron winces a little at his “dad bod,” but quickly recovers from the discomfort, milliseconds after it flashes across his face.

“Aaron Hotchner get your handsome butt in here and help me zip my dress! We’re gonna be late,” you exclaim, trying one last time to reach the zipper before giving up and crossing your arms in defeat. You lean back lightly against the countertop facing the door, letting the fabric slip off your shoulders, and wait for your husband to rescue you from the hell that is this dress.

At the sound of your voice, Aaron snaps out of his trance. He shakes his head lightly, as if to physically erase the intrusive thoughts, and clears his throat. Grabbing his suit jacket off the hanger, he flicks off the closet light and closes the door behind him.

Languidly, he meanders from the closet toward the bathroom. He drags his feet a little longer than he normally would, still feeling off and a little bit shy about his appearance.

“Aaron,” you sing, “I’m waiting for –,” your jaw drops mid-sentence when Aaron appears in the doorway.

“Oh fuck,” you breathe out before you can stop yourself, eyes widening at the sight of the gorgeous man in front of you.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, crossing over to you, searching your face for any ounce of reprieve.

“Nothing, nothing’s wrong,” you’re quick to reply, standing from your leaning position to meet him, holding out your hands.

He takes them in his own, cocking his head slightly, his soft hazel eyes boring into yours.

You shift forward, moving up on your toes to peck his soft pink lips.

He sighs into the kiss, feeling the warmth of your lips against his own. It feels so good that it almost makes him forget about how he is feeling… almost. But the dark thoughts come back, and he pulls away from you a bit, reluctantly.

Aaron clears his throat.

“You called me?” He questions, but it sounds more like a fact.

“Yeah,” you give his hands a squeeze. “I needed you to zip up my dress, but now,” you lean in again, “I kinda want you to rip it off me.” You offer him a sultry smirk, moving your hands up to rest on his broad chest. He moves his hands to settle on your hips.

You lick your lips and let your eyes rake over his body, taking in every ounce of his sexy frame. The way his crisp, white dress shirt hugs his solid body makes you go weak in the knees. His strong, toned legs in those black dress pants? Yes please. His soft black hair and salt and pepper stubble on his face are practically begging to be touched. He looks good. Damn good.

“You look…” you pause, tapping a finger lightly against his pectoral, searching for the right word, “…delicious.”

Aaron blushes lightly at your ogling, offering you a sad smile as he squeezes his eyes shut out of embarrassment.

You sense the falter in his demeanor, knowing that there’s something else nagging at him far beyond his usual flustering when you vocalize your attraction to him.

“Honey,” you implore, looping your hands around his neck to bring his forehead down to touch yours. “What’s going on in that big, beautiful brain of yours?”

“It’s nothing,” he mutters, swallowing, rubbing soft circles into your sides.

“It’s something,” you counter, carding a hand through his hair at the nape of his neck. You scratch lightly at his scalp, waiting for him to speak. You’ve learned that the best thing to do when Aaron gets in a mood is to give him some time to gather his thoughts. Keeping him close, physically, is a way to show him some comfort without pressuring him to speak. It encourages him, without words, that your arms are a safe place.

“I don’t…” he starts, and then stops himself. His dark eyebrows furrow and his mouth presses into a thin line.

“Mhm?” you question, fingers still tangled in his thick, black locks.

He pulls his forehead away from yours and locks eyes with you. You let your hands be still now, a silent gesture to show him that you’re listening.

He takes in a breath.

“I don’t look the way I used to,” he says quietly, shifting his eyes away from yours.

“What do you mean,” you urge him to continue.

“I mean, I don’t look like I did five years ago. Two years ago. Four months ago. I mean, I was practically a different man when we first met. I was younger, fitter…” he trails off, visibly upset.

“Yes, Aaron, you were,” you agree, keeping your tone temperate.

His eyes snap to yours, confused. It’s clear that was not what he was expecting you to say.

“You were a different man,” you continue gently, resuming your pacifying touch in his hair, “and I was a different woman.”

Aaron lets out a huff.

“Do you love me any less now than you did five years ago?” You ask him.

“Of course not,” he’s quick to answer.

“Why is that?” You prod.

“You’re gorgeous, inside and out. You’re funny, smart, loving…” he begins, but you interrupt him before he can go on.

“And,” you butt in, “if I were to go completely grey, gain thirty pounds, and only wear a potato sack to work every day would you love me any less?”

Aaron huffs again, but this time he’s fighting a smile. He’s starting to catch on. You watch as a spark of levity returns to his eyes. He holds you a little tighter.

“No. There’s nothing you could do or say to make me love you any less,” he grumbles in annoyance, but his upturned lip and matching eyebrow tell a different story.

“Ditto, baby,” you smile up at him. “I love you at any age, any day, anywhere, and there is nothing in the world that can make me change my mind.”

He dips down then, capturing you in a kiss, grinning against your lips.

You giggle as Aaron works his way down your jawline and neck, gasping as he kisses the soft skin at the junction of your neck and shoulder, thick fingers gripping the sides of your hips. He moves his lips back up to your earlobe, nipping at it lightly as you let out another soft gasp.

“You always know the right thing to say,” he whispers into your ear, pressing another kiss right underneath it.

“Aaron, I know I said I wanted you to take this dress off me,” you say breathlessly as Aaron nips at your shoulder again, “but Rossi will kill us if we don’t show up tonight. Plus, I really want the chance to show off my super sexy FBI husband. It’s been far too long.”

He lets out a low groan into your skin and gives your hips a squeeze, nuzzling his head into your neck.

“Yeah,” he mumbles, “you’re right.”

“Aren’t I always,” you snort, eliciting a chuckle from your husband as you turn around in his arms to let him zip you up.

He takes his time, letting his fingers brush lightly over your spine as he draws the zipper over your back. When he’s done and the clasp is latched, he kisses one shoulder lightly, and then the other.

“Thank you,” you whisper, leaning back against his warm body.

“No, honey,” he kisses the top of your head, “thank you.”

_____________________________________________________________

By the time you and Aaron arrive at Rossi’s mansion, the party is already in full swing. Judging by the number of cars in the makeshift parking lot on his spacious front lawn, there must be at least fifty, maybe even a hundred people here.

Despite the bustle of the evening, it doesn’t take long for you two to find Emily, Penelope, and Derek in the living room, drinks in hand, snacking on some very expensive looking food.

“Hey, look! It’s the Hotchners!” Emily cheers, teetering on the arm of the leather couch, wine glass in hand.

“Hello beautiful BAU power-couple!” Penelope chimes in from the seat next to her, cuddled up into Derek’s side.

You laugh and let go of Aaron’s hand, walking over to greet your friends.

“Hey hot stuff, look at you, look at you!” Derek chimes in, eyeing you up and down before standing to shake Aaron’s hand.

“Oh, please,” you roll your eyes at him as you give Emily a big hug.

“And you don’t look bad yourself, boss man!” Derek adds.

You shoot your husband an ‘I told you so’ look over your shoulder, before untangling your arms from Emily and giving Penelope an equally enthusiastic squeeze.

“It’s good to see you all,” Aaron smiles lightly, all dimples in the low light. He steps in to give Emily and Penelope soft hugs.

“Let’s go get you a drink,” Derek says to Aaron, clapping him on the back.

“White?” Aaron looks to you, even though he already knows the answer.

“Yes please,” you respond, “thank you.”

“Be back soon,” he smiles easily, kissing your cheek, making your heart ache.

Aaron and Derek turn and exit the room together.

Penelope drunkenly pats the seat next to her, and you plop down on the couch.

“We’ve missed you like this!” Emily exclaims, gesturing between the three of you and around the room. “I can’t believe we’ve had to wait nine whole months plusanother four just to have a drink with our best friend again.”

You laugh at her, tilting your head back lightly. “Well, you guys got a beautiful little niece out of it, doesn’t that make up for all the wild girl’s nights I missed?”

Emily sighs, dramatically, “I guess so,” she jests.

“Oh, for sure.” Penelope adds. “You look freaking gorgeous, by the way. I mean, I would have never guessed you were creating a tiny human in that body only a few months ago!”

You blush lightly at her words, “You flatter me far too much, Pen. I owe this,” you gesture down at your figure, “all to Spanx!”

“Amen!” Emily toasts. You raise an imaginary glass to theirs and pretend to clink, taking a swig of invisible liquid.

“Are J.J. and Will here?” You ask them after they’ve had a few more sips of their wine.

“Yeah, yeah,” Emily nods, “they’re around somewhere.”

You take a moment and look around the room, taking in all the sights and the sounds of the party. You see some faces you recognize from around the bureau, but others you don’t. Just as you’re about to turn back to your friends, someone catches your eye. One face stands out from the crowd: he’s a young, suave-looking man in a sharp navy suit. Sandy hair perfectly gelled, shiny brown loafers, and bright blue eyes looking right at you. In another life you would have been exhilarated by his attention, apparent charm, and good looks, but now? Now, you’re married to the love of your life with an amazing stepson and a wonderful baby girl. His wolfish gaze means absolutely nothing to you. You simply flash him a curt smile and turn back to Emily and Penelope without a second thought.

You and your friends resume your chatter, waiting for the men to return with more drinks... only they don’t. Perhaps its “new mother anxiety” talking, but the longer your husband is gone, the more you start to grow concerned. A few more minutes pass of antics, laughter, and catching up until the nagging voice in the back of your head turns into an all-out scream. All you know is that you’re suddenly feeling very overwhelmed need to be with Aaron. So, you announce to your friends that you’re going to hunt down Derek and your husband.

You stand from the couch and smooth out the skirt of your dress with the promise to be back in a few minutes.

You walk out of the living room and into the grand foyer, following the same route as Aaron had earlier. Your black kitten heels click on the marble flooring, the skirt of your dress swishing lightly as you walk with purpose towards the kitchen. You’re so concentrated on reaching your destination that you don’t realize the man who had been watching you in the living room was now hot at your heels, following you through the house. It’s only when a hand reaches out and jerks your arm backward that you stop, startled, just past the grand staircase, turning face to face with him.

“You’re not an easy woman to get alone,” he smirks, reeking of alcohol, still gripping your arm, tight. Up close he is decidedly not as handsome as the low light of the living room made him seem. In fact, he seems… creepy. Really, really, really, creepy.

“Can I help you?” You blink at him, pulling your arm out of his vice grip.

“You sure can, baby,” he steps closer to you, voice oozing with sleaze. You gag at the liquor on his breath.

Moving away, you scowl at him, crossing your arms across your chest.

“What’s say you and I head upstairs for a little while? I’m dying to get my hands on your body.” He jerks his head toward the staircase, reaching out to grab your arm again.

You’re fuming at this point, ready give him a piece of your mind when a stern voice beats you to it.

“Excuse me, what do you think you’re doing?” Aaron articulates, approaching you both with Derek not far behind.

You breathe a sigh of relief as your husband glares at the drunken man vengefully, coming to stand by your side. Aaron pulls you into him, roughly, hand tight around your waist. The anger radiating off your husband is equally terrifying and HOT.

“Take a walk, man,” Derek adds in, coming to stand next to the drunken asshole. The man looks from you, to Aaron, then over to Derek, and finally back at you.

“Whatever,” the man grumbles, putting his hands up, “she’s not worth it anyway. Not pretty enough for the hassle. I just thought she looked like an easy lay.”

“That’s enough,” Aaron snaps, seething. “Leave now, before I make you,” your husband growls. He angles his body forward so you’re slightly behind him. A shiver passes through you at his fierce protectiveness.

“Fine, I’m going to get another drink,” the man utters.

“No,” Aaron interjects, “the party. Leave the party or I’ll have you removed.”

“What’s your problem?” The creepy man retorts, this time, more confrontationally.

“My problem?” Aaron says, angrily. You feel his entire body tense at the accusation.

“Hotch,” Derek warns, “I’ll take care of it. You guys go enjoy yourselves. Forget about him.”

“Come on, Aaron,” you tug on his suit jacket lightly, eyes pleading… but Aaron doesn’t budge from his spot. He only holds you tighter as he continues to stare down the man as Derek ushers him away and towards the front door. He doesn’t falter until they are out of sight.

“Aaron?” You repeat.

He looks down at you, finally, blinking away the fury until all that’s left is an all-consuming love. He releases you from his protective hold, and you face him.

“I’m okay,” you assure him in earnest, letting out a shaky breath.

“Honey, I’m so sorry,” he breathes, bringing his hands up to cup your face.

“Aaron, it’s okay, really,” you bite your lip, shifting your eyes away from his.

“You’re so beautiful,” Aaron kisses your forehead, and then the top of your head. “So, so beautiful, and I’m so sorry.”

“Aaron, can we just go home?” You ask.

“Sure,” he kisses your head one last time before weaving his fingers between yours and guiding you gently toward the back exit.

_____________________________________________________________

The car ride home is quiet. The only sounds are the occasional click of the turn signal, and the hum of the wheels on the road. Aaron is still upset, and so are you, but you’re also… something else. Something you can’t quite put your finger on. You feel guilty for ruining the evening, guilty that you FEEL guilty for something you had no control over, hungry, tired, and… horny? Oh, and guilty for feeling horny.

It isn’t helping that one of Aaron’s hands is planted firmly on your thigh. He lifts it only to adjust the air conditioning or to scratch his nose, but otherwise it remains on you the whole way home. When he pulls into the driveway of your shared house, and shuts the car off, he still doesn’t move it.

“Honey?” You turn your head to look at him. His eyes are closed. You take in the strong features of his profile, noting the prominence of his nose and the way his eyelashes rest on his high cheekbones.

“I almost punched him.” Aaron whispers, opening his eyes to look over at you sheepishly.

“You what,” you exhale, mouth slightly agape.

“That guy,” he continues, bringing his left hand up to pinch his nose. “I almost punched him for saying that about you.”

You snort, amused by his confession.

Your husband lets out a short laugh, squeezing your thigh as he does.

“I would’ve liked to see that.” You’re grinning now and so is he.

He flashes his eyes at you and laughs again, this time less anxiously. You join him, feeling the tension dissipate with every passing moment.

“My big, bad FBI man decking a barely-legal drunk dickhead for making a move on his wife? Where can I get my tickets?” You joke.

As you say the words “his wife,” Aaron’s breath hitches in his throat. His hand on your thigh presses down instinctively. Neither of his reactions go unnoticed.

You lay a hand over his where it rests on your leg.

“You know, Aaron,” you begin.

He looks over at you, jaw tight, but this time it isn’t from anger.

“This is the first time we’ve had the house all to ourselves in months,” you pull his hand off you and bring it up to your lips. You press a kiss to his palm, and then to his wrist.

“This… is true,” he breathes out, studying you, taking you in.

“So, I’m just wondering:” you grin, linking your fingers with his, “are you going to carry your wife into our house, Aaron? Or do I have to walk myself?”

[steveluvr]

sex on the basement couch (grunge!steve)

summary hanging out w steve at a kickback and having sleepy, 3am sex on the couch in the basement 

word count 974

warnings smut, p in v, fingering, creampie, drinking, weed

grunge!steve x reader (no pronouns, reader has vag)

an / hope u like rb/like if u want more also come hang out on my blog and send asks esp abt this au i’m obsessed 

“Come here,” Steve patted his lap as you walked towards him, two cans of beer in your hands. 

“I’m coming,” you smile. “So clingy.” You kiss his forehead while plopping yourself on his lap where he can wrap one arm around your waist and set the other on your ass. You set down his can next to him and open your own, taking a sip before leaning into his embrace. 

Bucky is smoking a bowl at the other end of the couch and you assume that Sam and Nat are upstairs. You wrap your hand around Steve’s head and begin running your fingers through his short buzzcut that he recently had Nat shave for him. 

He presses his nose to your neck and breathes deeply as you giggle and look him. “What’s up?” you ask him gently, stroking his stubbly cheeks.

“Nothin’” he just grins at you and Bucky scoffs from the other end of the couch.

“You’re so pussy whipped,” he smiles at you and Steve. You know how happy he is to see his best friend happy, even if he doesn’t exactly show it outwardly. 

“Which one of us?” Steve jokes back.

--

After Nat, Sam and Bucky graciously agreed to let you and Steve stay over on their couch in the basement you quickly fell asleep on top of him. His chest was warm and you tangled your bare legs with his, only wearing a pair of panties Steve’s t-shirt from earlier that day. One of his big arms was around your hips softly, the other hanging off the edge of the couch. 

You whine a little as you feel him move beneath you.

“Sorry, honey,” he whispers, gently rubbing your back. 

“’S okay,” you mumble.

His hand slips under the shirt you’re wearing and he begins stroking your back with his fingertips and you squirm a little bit on top of him.

He grunts a little bit, with you wiggling on his cock and you feel his hand slowly get lower until he’s cupping your ass. He squeezes, and lets go over and over again and you bury your face in his neck as his fingers trail down between your legs. You wiggle a bit as his fingers push your panties to the side. 

“Aw, all wet for me?” He coos and you look up at him, finally opening your sleepy eyes. 

He starts to gently rub at your clit, slowly, teasing. You mutter as you start to wiggle on top of him, starting to feel his cock harden against your cunt. He grunts and begins to rub your clit in faster circles, giving you what you want as you lean into his fingers. “Stevie,” you mutter, as you feel his cock.

He pulls his fingers away for a moment and puts them in your mouth. “Suck, honey,” he tells you. You do, and you begin to sit up on his belly. Once his fingers are out of your mouth and you’ve sat up you pull his hard cock from his Star Wars boxers.

Pushing your panties to the side you slide his dick into you quite clumsily, almost falling face to face with him if he hadn’t caught you and you both giggle as softly as you can. 

“They’re upstairs,” you whisper. “Be quiet.”

He leans up to rest on his forearms as you start to move your hips jerkily up and down. You pant as you ride his dick, watching his face contort as he tries to keep quiet.

“So warm,” he murmurs, his voice is thick with sleep. 

You hear a creak above you and quickly stop moving as the noise travels to from the hallway to the kitchen, putters around for a bit and then goes back into the hallway. 

Steve pulls you down to lay on his chest when he hears the footsteps pass the entry to the stairs and he throws the blanket he’s been using as a makeshift pillow over the two of you. 

Your legs are on either side of him, his dick still inside of you. You both laugh as you hear the door shut to whoever’s bedroom. 

“Wanna keep going?” he strokes your arm, kissing your hair. 

“Mhm,” you moan and begin moving your hips up and down. There’s a soft sound of skin slapping beneath the thin blanket as he moves his hips up into you and you moan and pant softly. 

“Feel so good,” you groan as you reach down between your legs and rub at your clit. 

“You feel so good,” he breathes heavily. “So, so close.” 

You hum and rub at your clit faster. You clench around his cock and he groans from his throat. 

“‘re teasing me, honey.” He smiles despite himself and your chest heaves as the skin slapping gets louder and closer together. 

He knows that the way you’re clenching that your close.

“You’re close,” he says like it’s obvious and you moan softly. “Cum with me,” he whispers as close to your ear as he can get. 

One final clench around his cock and you whine deeply. He comes with a moan, spilling sticky cum in your pussy. He pulls you down to lay on him and you ride out the endorphins rushing down your back and tingling in your legs. 

His cock is still inside you, keeping the warm cum inside you until his cock softens and he pulls out and it starts dripping down your lips. You readjust your panties while he readjusts his dick in his boxers and he take the blanket off the two of you. 

“Sleepy?” He mumbles. 

You nod, laying back on his chest, not really caring about the thin sheen of sweat covering the two of you. 

“Goodnight,” you kiss his skin. 

“Goodnight,” he kisses your hair, “We’ll get you a pill in the morning.” 

[daja-the-hypnokitten]

Jukebox reviews part 36! For context, see my post “A Project” under this same tag. If you want to see a full list of his EMCSA stories, they can be found here, sorted alphabetically.And if you want to see some of his drabbles, check out his blog at @jukeboxemcsa

King Pleasure Time

 date uploaded   date updated     Tags

7/8/2017                                       mc ma

I'd say this isn't how humans work, but then, "I can haz cheezburger" was a thing for *ages* so maybe it IS how humans work, just on a different scale. While we do see how Caitlin is effected by the brainwashing here, it just ... isn't in a spectrum that speaks to me? There's absolutely nothing I *dislike* here, just nothing that I find particularly to my personal erotica tastes. But if you're the sort to enjoy someone's opinion on a thing being changed by regular exposure to other people treating using one as just normal, of seeing snippets of a world that's changing by something "off-screen"? Give this one a go. 6/10 spirals. 

 Just Dumb

 date uploaded   date updated     Tags

7/15/2017                                     mc mf md

If ever I needed evidence that Jukebox is not as big of a Rush fan as LadyR, this story sure provides it. (If you're dropping astrophysics/astronomy that 99% of your audience is just going to take as "ah, that's ... some sort of thing in space?" and you don't go for HDE 226868/Cygnus X-1, I can make the not-at-all shocking conclusion that you aren't a Rush fan). Off of the topic of me being both a bit of an astronomy nerd (though I did need to look up the binary system Jukebox named, I only just dabble really) and having an ever growing love of Rush, well. This story feels perfectly grounded in something that could have happened at any hypnocon I've been to. It's lovely and sweet and hot in all the right ways. Though now I want to send Eden to a class on bimbo play so she can both be reassured that plenty of smart, clever folk enjoy the temporary reprieve from *having* to be smart and also learn the language she needs to express what she wants to other potential partners. 9/10 spirals. 

 Even the Stars Fall 4 U

 date uploaded   date updated     Tags

7/22/2017                                     mc mf ff fd

Another story with 4U, a heavily-brainwashed human. I still want to see how she got quite so thoroughly conditioned. And to learn more about these Masters. And just *everything* about this world. The constant narration of 4U, even as she talks about how perfectly she assumes a different role/persona is ... jarring, a little, though it *works* in the flow of the story. I just want more of the how and why. Especially in this story, where the conditioning of someone else is more a tag at the end than anything. 7/10 spirals. 

 Girls With Guns (Jukebox)

 date uploaded   date updated     Tags

7/29/2017                                     mc mf fd rb

Oh, this is an interesting one, and I'm left with more questions than answers about the Girls(tm), though I suppose that isnt' really the point of this story, though I'm sure the epilogue will have Implications. I ... am extremely put off by Ethan, by his posturing and aggression and just all of it - I've been on the receiving end of enough aggression from men who were just enough like Ethan, and have friends who have been hurt even *more* by men who reacted to discomfort with violence that I just ... I can't. I know what JB's going for here, and I"m sure it'll be cathartic for some folk, and just plain hot for others, but for me it just isn't. 3/10 spirals. 

 Head Games

 date uploaded   date updated     Tags

8/5/2017                                       mc mf fd

Ian, this is why I have a board game carrying backpack. Look into them, they're worth the investment. Also, Madison's place sounds like the house of a SCAdian Duchess I know... ANYWAY. I *love* the name Brian Shaw for a game company, A+ on cleverness there, Jukebox, and the game sounds like one that would be entertaining to throw together for a switch fight type game at a con sometime. And I appreciate Madison checking in before doing any sex-things, especially given we already had Ian's thoughts about caring so much about not being a creep making assumptions. it makes this all work, mostly, for all the consent could be better. I love the sense of how Ian's getting more and more caught by the game, too. 9/10 spirals 

 P. T. A.

 date uploaded   date updated     Tags

8/12/2017                                     mc mf ff md

Nope, I've known too many military wives - mothers! - over the years to not connect this to those folk, parents of friends, wives of my parents' coworkers... NOPE. I'm just not doing this >.> My brain is sometimes too good at connecting unrelated things 

 Opal Mantra

 date uploaded   date updated     Tags

8/19/2017                                     mc ff

Oh hey, it's the hypnotic opal ring back!  We get to see Piper and her unnamed Mistress from "Doesn't Really Matter" (and wasn't that rather a number of stories ago, it was posted almost 2 full years before this story was!) as they get inside an unsuspecting traveler's head. This one's in 2nd person narration, which is a little trippy given just how hypnotic opals are - there's a reason one of my partners gifted me an opal necklace for Christmas last year, the fire of it just catches the eye... *anyway.*  If you're like me and have a pre-existing association with opals being hypnotic, the 2nd person narration may, um, have an Effect (tm). But it's a good story over all. 8/10 spirals. 

 Up All Night

 date uploaded   date updated     Tags

8/26/2017                                     mc mf md

The step-by-step process here is fun to see, even if I tend to prefer less disjointed steps myself. "Some of it was things she knew even before he told her" is just such a good line, and the way she seems completely oblivious to the changes being induced before that line is so good. Even if Dylan is rather taking a lot of advantage. But having had those "I have to get this sewing done" nights, even if it wasn't for a grade, I wish I'd had someone to make my hands go on autopilot! (also between this story and Head Games, gosh, I'm getting the itch to do more sewing. Thanks, Jukebox, I think? :P I do have some linen waiting for me to get around to washing and ironing it...) 8/10 spirals 

 More Than a Feeling

 date uploaded   date updated     Tags

9/2/2017                                       mc ff cb

This is sweet in a slightly twisted way. Like, it completely goes against my view of the universe entirely, the idea that the universe could want to pair anyone like this, but still. Accepting that the world of Jukebox's superheroes and villains operates on a different logic than the world I know, sure, ok, I can work with it. The reality of a power cutting both ways is so good here, and I enjoy the reality of Ursula's instincts warring against Epiphany's mystical instincts. It's a lovely story, however Dilettante tries to warp things. 8/10 spirals. 

 Notepad

 date uploaded   date updated     Tags

9/9/2017                                       mc mf md

Sneaky sneaky, Kevin. Poor Sandy, getting caught up in that, though hopefully it can be happy for her. And the fact that seh's woken herself up before helps me believe her subconscious will still keep her safe; that said, I have Opinions(tm) about suggestions to trust a hypnotist. Trust should be earned, not taken like that. Still, the suggestions otherwise are HOT, and the concept of the words spilling onto the page and into her mind is. um. *yes.* Also something I've done and very much enjoyed before. 9/10 spirals.

[woozi]

sorry if this is random but what are each of the members’ iconic looks in your opinion, like outfits/hairstyles that you can clearly associate with each of them? for example vernon’s rainbow hoodie + beanie + weird sunglasses outfit

it’s for science…. (if this is too much, no need to respond <3) hope you’re having a good week!

WAIT OMG LOVE THIS ACTUALLY?????????

ion think tumblr will allow me to insert more than 10 pics so i'm just gonna give u links to the pics/vids <33

pioneer eyebrow studs cheol literally changed the trajectory of my life <3

hana & haru/happy ending jeonghan is sooo dear to me tbh but this one of him in a yellow beret takes the cake <3 and these ones from your choice (the way they did his hair in that pc </3) & hit era (the blue shirt lives in my mind rent free for some reason) AND THE BURBERRY SHIRT LOOK

joshua in that yellow shirt for lnr’s studio choom perf 👁 really got me interested in svt tbh it was The Beginning of The Journey for me fsdkjfhsdjfhs also red cardigan milf shua

jun is ALWAYS gorgeous but him during the last BeTS concert has some kind of spell on me 😭 maybe i feel this way bc it’s recent but like <333 he looks good what can i do :/ AND THIS JUN <3 beret jun <3 AND HIM FROM THAT ONE PHOTOSHOOT

hoshi’s lnr fits tbh (the racecar suit especially 😭) also him in touch 👁 and the pink slutty fit from spider 😭 AND THE CUTE NEON HOSHI BANDAID AIRPORT ONES <3

everyone was rb-ing lnr crop top wonu which also led to me getting into svt (not for his crop top but like.. i kept seeing em on my dash since then JKFHDSJHD) mama 2019 fear wonu... PURPLE WONU

this woozi...... dispatch hit woozi...... cherry shirt an ode woozi.... not obsessed w the look itself but woozi from kcon in that funky yellow shirt....

this magician red suit dk was the first thing that came to mind please do not ask 😭 also rmb being SOOOO taken by this specific semi;colon press con dk he’s still my phone’s lockscreen to this day <3

mama 2019 mingyu... are we all seeing this.. also grab driver mingyu

green fit hao from lnr <3 mullet hao (my favorite look on him tbh and the only mullet i can accept) <3 mullet hao pt 2 bc i love it vm <33 and OH MY GOD.... this one... HAUNTS ME EVERYDAY PLEASE

1st look boo in the white dress shirt...? also sumn abt him Changes during concerts tbh he’s absolutely glowing here’s an example, and another one, and another one (i call it the Concert Look)

you’re right abt That Vernon fit + the one with goggles but honestly... this vernon selfie... anything with beanies tbh.. ok but his fts teaser is sumn else tbh the tatts were SOOO

OK BUT THIS SPECIFIC HIT DINO......................... OR SHHH CHAN.................. dear GOD have mercy (sumn abt 2019 dino in general tbh),,,  BLONDE DINO... ALSO ANYONE KFDHJHJDS i literally saw everyone turn into dinonaras it was one of the best days of my life (also was the starting point of his hot boy era for a lotta people tbh) or the home;run teaser pic that sealed the dinonara fate for me <3 i’m lying actually just wanted to show u all of those but my absolute favorite is blue dino <3

ik u were prob just expecting 1 each but i got so carried away i’m saur sorry KJFDHSJFDSHD 😭😭😭😭 i’m also prob forgetting SOOO many looks but these are the ones i can think of off the top of my head <3

[sunshinetoshi]

Which flower/plant do you associate your moots with?

okay this idea is so cute omg ty. honestly i don’t know much about flowers/plants besides saying ‘pretty!!’ every time i see one HAHA so i had to look up a bunch so now i’m very soft. ANOTHER WAY OF SAYING THESE MIGHT BE RANDOM BUT I STILL PUT THOUGHT INTO THEM AND IT MADE ME SOFT. i tried to include as many moots as possible (but there are still moots i missed bc i’m shy and we don’t interact as much or i feel like a bother asdajkf sorry lovelies ahh). 

this is me dropping the prettiest bouquets to you all each with a lil kith heheh. ily all 💐💐😙😙

@daichis-kitty - sunflowers (you’re my sunshine bubba heheh plus i know you love ‘em so automatic association). these make me so happy just like you dooooo. personally sunflowers are just so iconic and so are youuu

@tetsunormous - string-of-pearls. okay i LOVE these sm they might be my fave succulent. they make me giggle bc they look like green peas BAHAHA but i also think they’re soo pretty and they make me so happy. that giddiness i feel for them is similar to how i feel for you bestie oooo. okay but also lavender bc purple hearts for you forever

@luvbub - dandelions but before they’re fuzz-on-a-sticks (yellow fits the happy you make me plus the crafty flower crowns and you’re crafty aksdjfh). but even when they're fuzz you make me laugh and smile just like the fuzzies lol

@daichidaichidaichi - black velvet petunia. babe if you haven’t seen these look them up i am in love. petunias themselves and even the name are cute like you but the black captures your theme and i am obsessed.

@gg9183 - willow tree. very romantic vibes which i’ve always gotten from you bb. like imagine a date on a little lake in a row boat. ugh my heart. yeah those are the vibes. these are just so so pretty to me idk. for me your personality embodies an unmatched aesthetic. that doesnt even make sense but i hope it does pLS

@love-oikawa - feather grass but when lavenders grow between them?? very specific HAHA but i looove the look it makes me want to run through a meadow where your fingertips are brushing them and your giggling. idk something very cinematic and then add your s/o. yup. those are my hannah vibes.

@osamus-wife - pothos plant. okay these are the ones i see on ig/pinterest and they’re so aesthetic and i associate them with a person who has their stuff together (is a hard worker) and a person who has style and taste (like your taste in rb’s asdjf immaculate) and i see these things with youuu <33

@sunalma - wisteria. in the lakes by taylor swift there’s a line with wisterias and that whole song is the aura i get when i read your work. like the words just blow me away and i feel so lifted when i read it?? just beautiful bb. and your soul is beautiful too!! also purple for your theme heheh. also pretty flowers for pretty you angel

@xomiya - yerba mate bc i drink guayaki yerba mate when i need to stay up and given your body clock -> yerba mate <33 HAHA but you’re also so florally in my heart and head so also sweet peas my sweet pea soul sis

@catwithangerissues - bonsai tree. i know it’s random but i think it fits pLS. okay one reason is bc i think you’re fun (and slightly chaotic and i love it) and that’s the joy i get when i see those fisherman figurines in a bonsai tree planter thing (is this just me?? ahh) i also think you’re really cool and to me bonsais are so cool. like in general but also how old they can get it’s so cool what!! also your theme is green so my mind went green

@targaryens-blog - bat flower. these are strong and pretty looking flowers that i admire and those are things i think about you and your blog bb. the vibes of these are just amazing woahh. but your sweetness also gives me daisy vibes bc daisies make me so warm and happy so you get two flowers aksdjf

@cubbluv - spruce tree. are these christmas trees?? yes. but the warm fuzzy happy of christmas is like the feeling i have with you. and i will always associate green with you from your theme when we first became moots heheh. also?? i can’t remember but didn’t you saw you liked to pick up pine cones?? if not picking pine cones is cute so i still think it fits aksjdf ily melody heheh

@amjustagirl - southern magnolia tree. i’ve seen one of these trees a while back and they are just so memorable. they just have a unique feeling where you want to sit under the shade of them forever and take in the breeze. and that’s how i feel with your work <33

@kodzkn - marigolds. the slightly orange-y ones. they remind me of your theme and pfp heheh. also whenever i see these irl i go “marigolds!!” which is the energy i have when i see your user on my dash or notifs aksjdf

@notcurrentlyactive - chamomile. okay this one i can't explain but i love how cute the flowers are and i love the tea and you are just so kind and warm they radiate the same energy?? heheh <33

@iwaizumini - ranunculus/buttercup flowers. they’re just so bright and come in so many colors and are pretty just like you!! i love these sm and they make me so happy when i see them so i think they’re a great fit for you. heheh love you bb <33

@shoyotime - wishbone flower. bestie i’ll be honest. i looked up ‘clown flower’ out of curiosity AND THESE POPPED UP. but they’re so cute like you and the purple matches your theme so it actually works out BAHAHA. no but fr you make me so so happy and ilysm so also hydrangeas bc i think these are unmatched pretty flowers. there’s just something about them.

@tsukkisfatsimp - jade plant. okay hear me out bb. this explanation has ~layers~ okay first i love succulents and i love you. simple but effective (especially when i mean it with my whole chest). second the reddish tint on the ends reminds me of your red tsukki theme from back then. and third these grow HECKA fast just like you are on here and it makes me so happy and proud bb heheh

@hvnlydmn - calla lillies. okay i cant pick between the white ones or the black ones but for me they exude hot girl energy bb. either these are red roses. same reason HAHA

@u-make-my-heart-tsumtsum - camellias. pretty and pink and now match your theme heheh. BUT if i’m being honest it’s bc they appear in naruto a lot and when we became moots was when you first deep dived into naruto so that association will probs stay bb akjsdf

@floralkawa - baby’s breath. i think these are my favorite flowers. but just like you they give off the sweetest and softest vibes and they make me smile whenever i see them <33

@lovelytarou - canterbury bells. the blue-ish ones remind me of your theme HAHA. i’ve already told you how much i love your blog but you are also so sweet and funny (pls your tags give me life) and these flowers amuse me and make me smile bc they’re bell-shaped so i’m matching them to you. askdjf okay slightly a reach but bb look how pretty they are!!

@izhyperfixates - hollyhocks. they are just so soft and bright and lovely like you and your blog!! and i can totally see you and kita growing them in the garden you two have oooo

@marshieee - delphiniums. the blue of your theme is just so iconic i love it sm. also these are just so pretty!!

@pixelwisp - forget-me-nots. i know your theme is no longer blue but i still think of blue when i see you on the dash asjdf. also these have the cutest name and i think your user is so cute heheh

[wonderlustlucas]

jack pot ; part 1 - hwang hyunjin

⇢ prompt You know it’s bad when you’re high as a kite and he’s still on your mind. ⇢ pairing hwang hyunjin x female reader, seo changbin x female reader for like 2 minutes ⇢ word count 7.5k ⇢ genre fluff, angst (not heavy, just in a slow burn kind of way), slight smut ⇢ warnings drug use!!! & lots of it (marijuana), grinding, implied smut ⇢ summary College is a matter of working hard and playing hard. It’s an opportunity to start fresh, to grow as an individual and to blossom with those you befriend. People come and people go, leaving their mark on your life and showing you all the parts of becoming an adult. Some, however, do more than leave their mark. Some take just as much as they give. Things become complicated once they take the entirety of your love because you outright offered it to them.—college!au ; stoner!au ; friends to lovers!au ⇢ a/n yo!!! disclaimer: this initially was going to just be a long one shot but i decided to split it up into 3 parts, so just to let u all know part 1 & 2 does not have a ton of hyunjin interaction, they’re more character/plot building. part 3 is when things will get spicy ♥︎ i hope u enjoy! if u rb make sure to let me know what u thought in the tags mwah also i finally switched from ___ to yn are u guys proud of me :)

prelude.

Sometimes you really, truly, honestly think you could go right ahead and kill Han Jisung.

You say it all the time. Sometimes it’s a simple, “I will literally kill you,” or when you are feeling extra spicy, “Sleep with one eye open tonight.” He, of course, laughs it off like you aren’t vibrating with the urge to kick his kneecaps in. You seriously have lost count of all the times he has brought you to the brink of insanity.

And honestly, you have watched enough murder documentaries on Netflix that you probably could do it, but, you know, spending the rest of your life in prison does not sound that appealing. Plus, there’s the ever-troubling detail that Han Jisung is the closest thing you have to a best friend. So, it sort of goes against your basic human morals to backstab—literally—the most important human in your life.

But he really makes you crazy. Why you agreed to share an apartment with him in the first place is a mystery, but the fact that you leased it again for junior year is what really makes you lose sleep at night. Because, while he may be your best friend, Jisung is the epitome of a little shit. If such a compound word was in the dictionary, it simply would say ‘Han Jisung.’ Somehow, though, it makes you love him even more. Maybe it’s true that ‘opposites attract,’ or, perhaps, maybe it’s because no matter how much embarrassment and general self-loathing he may have caused you in the past, it has benefitted you in the end.

For example, his constant teasing about your lack of friends eventually led to you befriending a group of girls you always admired from afar. His snarky comments concerning your nonexistent social life finally got to you and now you can proudly wear the title of one of the best beer pong players in your class. His presence in general has taught you to stand up for yourself and what you believe in, whether it’s against him, your parents, a toxic friend, hell, even a professor. Proving people wrong, especially Jisung, is your favorite pastime.

Sometimes, though, it’s not that easy.

There’s one area in your life where you have accepted defeat. One area in your life where Jisung has his most fun. One area, or, perhaps one person, where you simply cannot step beyond your comfort zone.

Hwang Hyunjin is your Achilles tendon and Jisung is the arrow. There are times, along with all the times you’ve considered strangling Jisung in his sleep, where you have sat and actually prayed to the gods to send someone else. Someone not nearly as perfect as Hyunjin and someone not nearly as unattainable. Alas, these prayers, hook-ups, Tinder dates, anything to get him off your mind has proved futile; because here you are three years later, stuck with this stupid, absolutely infuriating crush on the only boy who has ever owned your heart because you outright gave it to him.

one.

You are beginning to think the two bubbly junior girls who led the campus tour you attended last year lied about the dining hall.

Correction: they one hundred percent lied.

Because even though the newly renovated food court looks nice—unscratched linoleum floors, shiny marble countertops and all sorts of seating to choose from—there must be something fishy going on with the cooks. Literally. Just last week, an upperclassman had a breakdown when she forked into her tuna (why anyone would want college seafood is another story) to find a worm right there in the middle of it. You have found little shards of glass in the yogurt and bugs even at You-Cook, but that’s all a part of the college experience, right?

“Are you sure there’s no spiders or anything? Did you check?” Beside you, Maddie watches with furrowed brows as you spoon a hefty serving of scrambled eggs onto your plate. Chuckling, you move down to grab a few sausages and a chocolate chip muffin before they are gone for the rest of the day; Lord knows, you are only a month in and carbohydrates have quickly become your emotional support, just like everyone else. “Yes, I checked,” you assure her, hiding a laugh with your hand as she leans over to further scrutinize the eggs, “I didn’t see any arachnids.”

“Good,” she hums, satisfied with your answer, “can you grab a banana muffin for me? They’re usually at the bottom.”

Nodding, you turn back to the blessed muffin basket, pushing away blueberry, corn, double chocolate, all because Maddie has to be different and go for the macadamia nut banana.

“Are those the dinosaur socks they were selling on move-in day?” In front of you, someone asks, and your first instinct is to look down at your feet just to confirm. 8:30 calculus simply turns your brain to mush and remembering how you dressed for the day is near impossible. “Yes!” Laughing, you lift your leg to get a closer look at the cute green t-rexes on skates. “I was sold once I heard they were a dollar.”

Tearing your gaze away from said socks, you look up and suddenly feel as if you have bumped into an angel. Maybe there were spiders in the eggs, deadly poisonous spiders that crawled up the spoon while you weren’t paying attention and bit your hand and now you are dead and this is the angel leading you to the heavens. That, or this simply is the most beautiful human you have ever seen up close and your brain does not know how to process it. Well, maybe that’s a little extreme, but you definitely have never been so starstruck in your life.

The boy in front of you says something but you don’t hear it, senses and thoughts momentarily Off™ as you gawk at him. Aside from the deep undereye bags you all have claimed the past few weeks, this stranger is as close to perfect as you can get. Sure, Seungmin and his roommates are pretty cute—but what the fuck?

Something tells you that you have been silently staring at him, wide-eyed and mouth hanging open for far too long when his brows raise in a mix of confusion and expectation. Shit. What did he say? Synapses suddenly shooting like fireworks in your brain, you desperately try to remember his reply but instead, all you had focused on was the plumpness of his lips as he spoke and not the words themselves.

Clearing your throat, you blink once, twice, hoping you were hallucinating the whole time and the boy in front of you is not Hercules incarnate.

Lucky for you or him, you can’t tell, but he is still as attractive as he was two seconds ago. “Sorry, what?” You blurt, loud, too loud, flinching at the sound of your own voice. Instead of recognizing that you are totally off your rocker, he smiles, a soft, toothy smile that has your muscles turning to goo.

“I said I bought them, too,” cutest-boy-in-the-universe repeats, looking down and you follow his gaze, “my roommates were making fun of me, so I’m glad I finally found someone who bought them.” Alas, as he tugs at the fabric of his jeans to slightly lift the cuff you see that he, too, wears the same socks. You think you’re in love.

“Well, your roommates clearly have no taste,” you deadpan, shakily meeting his eyes once he looks back up. He laughs softly, eyes scrunching at the action and you positively swoon until silence settles over you and he takes the opportunity to regard you, gaze sweeping down your frame and up again. You hold your breath because, 1) holy shit, you would get on your knees for him right now and 2) you suddenly wish you were wearing more than the ‘just-woke-up-to-get-pegged-by-calc’ fit.

“I’m Hyunjin,” he finally says and you release all the air trapped in your lungs. “YN,” you return, grasping his outreached hand and thanking the heavens it is as sweaty as yours. “Well, it was nice to meet you, YN,” Hyunjin proceeds, releasing your hand and offering a gentle smile.

“You too, Mr. Sock Man,” you grin, rocking on your heels and realizing with a pang of disappointment that your breakfast has probably gone cold. Well, that’s okay, because right now you are totally content standing here in the middle of the dining hall, silently staring at this Hyunjin with a stupid smile plastered on your face. And the best part? He apparently is just fine doing that, too.

“YN!” Somewhere behind you, Maddie calls your name and it thrusts you head-first back into reality. “Did you find a banana muffin? I can’t find— oh. Who’s this?” Appearing beside you, visibly shocked having found you in a staring contest with a very tall, very cute boy. “Oh, uh,” you huff out a laugh, scrambling to get yourself together, “Hyunjin, this is Maddie, my roommate. Maddie, this is Hyunjin. We have the same socks.”

Brows shooting up at the puzzling introduction, Maddie bites back a laugh and looks back and forth between you and Hyunjin. “Well, you don’t hear that every day,” smiling to hide her confusion, she offers him a small wave with her hand full of muffin packs, “nice to meet you.”

Hyunjin smiles in return, gaze quickly returning to you. “I’ll be off, then. Gotta get the waffles while they’re still warm. I’ll see you around.”

And before you know it, he’s off toward the other end of the breakfast counter.

“Um, what the fuck?” Maddie whispers excitedly as you make your way toward your usual table, elbow repeatedly jabbing into your side. “I have no idea what just happened. I think I’m dreaming,” you sigh blissfully, relieved to find that Jisung and Seungmin were able to claim your favorite booth. “No, definitely not dreaming. He’s totally into you. You have to hang out.”

“What?” You sputter, nearly tripping over your own two feet. Then, lowering your voice as you near the two boys, “I – no, he isn’t. How can you tell? That was like, the cutest guy I’ve ever talked to, and you think he’s into me?”

“Who’s the cutest guy ever?” Jisung pipes up, eyes lighting up and you curse him and his fucking bat hearing.

“No one,” you grumble, smiling softly at Seungmin when he gets up so you don’t have to sit on the end, leaving Maddie to sit next to the other one. “Is it me?” Jisung grins with a flutter of his eyelashes. He’s convinced the only reason you dislike him is because you’ve actually fallen in love with him, but that’s far from the truth. You don’t even dislike him—he’s just one of the first guys you’ve met who meets your sarcasm with as much ferocity, and that is a hard pill to swallow.

“In your dreams, Han,” you sneer, gracing him with a dramatic eye roll before tearing open the bag of your muffin. Comfortable conversation quickly falls into place as you eat, complaints about your classes, Seungmin trying to convince you to join them at the first party they will be attending while Jisung mocks you for wanting to stay home, Maddie asking where Felix is and Seungmin explaining that he got so high last night he ended up staying up past four playing Overwatch and is currently sleeping past all his classes.

Then, in the midst of guzzling your apple juice, Jisung leans out of his seat to call down the aisle. “Hwang! Come pull a chair over!”

Curiosity peaked, you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand and crane your neck to see over Seungmin’s fat head for who this ‘Hwang’ could be until, like the universe is really trying to kill you, the Hyunjin you met not even ten minutes ago has reached your table. “Hey,” he grins brightly, dabbing up the two boys before he glances to you, mouth promptly falling open. Certain you mirror the same expression, you struggle to find your words as Jisung and Seungmin look between you in shared confusion. “First we share socks, now it’s these dumpheads?”

Ignoring the way they scowl, Hyunjin giggles shamelessly and grabs a chair from an adjacent table to sit at the head of your booth. “It would seem that way.”

“Woah, woah, woah. Slow down. You guys know each other?” Jisung scoffs in disbelief, pointedly looking at you as if you’ve gone and disproved everything he pegged of you. “We just met,” Hyunjin replies with a shy smile, sparing you a quick glance before cutting into his waffle. Jisung looks to you and you offer an affirmative nod.

“And how are you guys friends?” Maddie asks, sensing your panic. “He’s Changbin and Minho’s roommate,” Seungmin answers.

You choke on a mouthful of juice.

“Christ, you good?” Seungmin snickers, offering a few slaps to your back. With a muffled yes, you look to Hyunjin with pleading eyes. “Please don’t tell them I said they have no taste.”

He laughs, arching a brow at you. “No way. They’ll get a kick out of that.”

“Oh, Christ,” faking a cry, you bury your face into your palms, “so much for making friends.”

“It’s okay, YN,” Jisung soothes with faux sympathy, “no one wants to be your friend anyway.”

Scoffing, the table quickly falls silent when you look up with rage in your eyes. “I bet when someone asks your parents about you, they change the subject,” you spit, shooting daggers at him before stabbing your fork into an innocent chunk of egg. To your utmost surprise but total delight, the other three burst into a fit of laughter, leaving you smirking smugly and Jisung sulking.

“Anyway,” Maddie promptly changes the subject back to her chemistry professor who has started every class playing Britney Spears. Tucked away in your corner finishing the last of your sausage and stifling the urge to get up for more, it isn’t until Hyunjin begins to speak do you realize that you have been quietly watching him the entire time. You would blame the soft morning sunshine shining through the windows and illuminating the right side of his face for making him look so ethereal, but you know that isn’t the case; from short, messy black hair, silver hoop earrings, thick, defined brows, the soft curves of his nose and the pouty fullness of his lips, you are totally, completely mesmerized.

And then, the sole of a sneaker is slammed right into your shin. “OW!” You yelp, loud, and for a moment you forget the pain in favor of the embarrassment that comes with the number of heads that turn to look at you. “Sorry. Bit my tongue,” you lie, earning an unconvinced look from Maddie. “Go on,” you nod toward Hyunjin to continue whatever he was saying before directing a furious glare to Jisung, who fails to hide his triumphant smirk as he enthusiastically types on his phone.

Just as you have bent down to rub at your throbbing leg, your phone vibrates twice against the table.

han jisung [now] stop staring, ur lucky hwang is as dense as a rock or he would have left a long time ago bc of you

han jisung [now] so THAT’S the ‘cutest guy ever’ huh? so ur straight after all

Squeezing your hands into fists, you prepare to fire back a reply that will have him crying. But he has different plans.

“Oh, Hyunjin, did YN tell you she’s a dancer, too?” He exaggerates your previous mention of dancing and has the audacity to wink at you. Thanks, Mr. Match Maker.

“Really?” Hyunjin gasps excitedly, eyes lighting up and totally missing the flabbergasted what? that sputters from your lips.

“I – well, no,” you hiss, scowling at Jisung, “I used to do ballet when I was younger but that’s it. Why, though? Do you dance?”

“He’s here on a scholarship,” Seungmin explains, “and minors in creative writing.”

“Oh,” you squeak, glancing to Hyunjin who is all but smiling like a cherub, completely oblivious, “that’s amazing. You must have a crazy schedule.” Chewing the last of his waffle, he hums in agreement. “Yeah, it gets really stressful at times. But it’s worth it,” Hyunjin chuckles. Then fucking winks.

Unable to hold his gaze, you whip your head back around in a panic and reach for the mere sip left of your juice. “Speaking of crazy schedules,” he hums, slapping both Jisung and Seungmin on the shoulders, “I must head out. This was fun. I may start crashing the party more now.” Rising from his seat, Hyunjin swings his bag over a shoulder and grins brightly. Realizing it would be rude to not say goodbye, you force yourself to look back to him and offer a feeble wave.

“And YN, don’t bite your tongue when you eat, yeah?”

You’re going to pass out.

two.

Felix likes to think of you as his corrupted child when it comes to smoking weed.

A few weeks before you would all be returning home for winter break, he came knocking on your door with a proposition. “No one wants to smoke with me. Do you want to?”

This, for sure, was not what you were expecting on a cold Tuesday night in December. Despite the general curiosity and always wanting to ‘try it’ simply to feel like a teenager breaking the rules, you told him you never smoked before. “I know,” he said with a smile, “that’s why I’m asking.”

So, you agreed. Reaching for your hand, Felix snuck you out the window and led you halfway across campus to the junior parking lot, giving you ample opportunities to back out when he felt how badly you were shaking. “Whose car is this?” You laughed in disbelief when he unlocked a beaten-up Nissan near the outskirts of the lot.

“Kim Woojin. The junior?” He replied once you settled in the passenger seat next to him. “Oh.” You blinked, confused. “He lets you smoke in his car?”

“He gets me weed, too,” Felix giggled, reaching into the pockets of his sweatshirt and coming out with two tightly wrapped blunts, each about two inches long, “I’ll turn the heat on a little so we don’t freeze but we have to keep the windows open. I’m not going to have you hotbox for your first time.” You had no idea what that meant, but you agreed nonetheless.

With a brief lesson on what to do that truly made no sense until you tried it for yourself, Felix lit the blunt, took a few small hits to get it started, and then passed it to you. Holding it gingerly between your thumb and index finger, you brought the unlit end to your lips and sucked as he instructed ‘like a straw,’ breathing it into your lungs and ignoring the faint taste of smoke. Unsure of when to stop, it wasn’t until your throat felt as if it was on fire did you realize just how much you had inhaled.

“Shit,” you wheezed, coughing and choking and watching with wide eyes at the amount of cloudy white smoke that left your mouth and nostrils. Passing it back to Felix, you scrambled for the cold water bottle he brought along, downing half of it in one go to soothe the burn. “Good?” He asked, blowing out the window and turning back to you with eyes full of concern.

“Yeah,” you huffed, “give me a few, though.”

Humming in agreement, Felix connected his phone to the car’s Bluetooth and began playing what he calls his ‘getting high playlist,’ and before long, you fell in love with the feeling.

When break was over, you were dying to try it again. Felix was more than happy to be of service.

For all of March, it turned into a daily thing.

Now, you try to smoke only once a week for the sake of not dying, or something.

australian felix kjellberg❤️ [now] come hang at 201?

When the text notification pops up in the corner of your laptop screen amid your YouTube binge, your bones jitter with a mix of dread and excitement.

Dread, because that’s Hyunjin’s room. Excitement, because that’s Hyunjin’s room.

Maddie must hear your sigh. “What’s wrong?” She asks from her cozied position in bed, hand deep in a bag of popcorn.

“It’s Felix,” you start, “but he said to go to Hyunjin’s room.”

She blinks, unfazed. “And? I don’t see the problem here.”

“Well, I don’t know,” you count on your fingers, “first, I don’t know how to act around Hyunjin sober. Second, I don’t know how to act around Hyunjin high. Third, I am very touchy when high. Fourth, Hyunjin is always touchy.”

Maddie scoffs. “That’s a pretty lame argument, YN,” she laughs, “isn’t that what you want to happen?”

“Well,” she’s got a point, “yes, but it still makes me nervous. He makes me nervous.” Closing your laptop, you shimmy out of bed and debate changing out of your cotton shorts and tee shirt. Nah. You’ll probably end up going back to Felix’s and sleeping there. You put a sports bra and deodorant on and call it a day.

Maddie finds this hilarious. “You know what should make you nervous? The fact that you’re usually the only girl getting high with, what? Six guys? You know they all want to fuck you.”

“I try not to think about that, actually,” cringing, you try to erase Felix’s voice when he’s high as a kite or Changbin’s arms from your mind, “and you don’t know that. Sometimes Ryujin and Lia are there. Or, you know, you could always come. You don’t have to smoke, just come hang out. I know you want to give Minho a fat smooch.”

Her nose wrinkles in disgust. “I love you, and I appreciate the invite, but I don’t feel like babysitting a bunch of stoners, even if Minho is there.”

Laughing, all you can offer her is a shrug. “I don’t blame you,” grabbing your phone, wallet, and charger, you make your way over to her and bend over to press a goodnight kiss to her forehead, “if you need me, don’t. I’ll probably be dead.”

“Oh Lord,” Maddie cackles, watching you struggle to open the window, “don’t die. I don’t know what I’ll do.”

“I’ll try,” you grin, military saluting once you’ve managed to flop over the ledge. With one last wave, you close the window behind you and thank admissions for giving you a room on the first floor.

[9:34 PM] YN: omw now, gather your forces to help me in :)

Nights in 201 are always interesting. First, their room is on the second floor, so climbing through the window is an experience. Things would be a hell of a lot easier if you could just walk in and out of residence halls as you please, but with the officer at the front desk documenting who comes in and who goes out, there would be a knock at the door at midnight asking you to leave. Second: as Maddie said, 201 means the whole squad is showing up. And when the whole squad shows up, you’re bound to feel a mix of anxiety and desire deep within your bones no matter how hard set you are on Mr. Hwang. And third: you know you’re in for one fucked up night.

[9:42 PM] YN: hereee

Standing awkwardly behind their building, you try and calm the nerves that always come when you know you will be with Hyunjin. Considering how close the two of you have become over the past few months, one would think you would have gotten a grip on those pesky feelings.

Yet again, it’s kind of hard to do that when he looks and acts like that all the time.

When the window slides open, you are expecting Changbin to hang halfway out for you to grab on to with the rest of them holding onto his legs. Instead, a tall, metal ladder of sorts is pushed out until it lands with a thud! at your feet, granting you a perfect staircase into the room.

Well, you certainly don’t see that every day.

Blinking in confusion, you do not know whether to focus on the crowd of boys waving at you from above or this abomination of a stepstool that was practically thrown out a window for you. Accepting the chain of events as just another fever dream of an experience in 201, you shake your head and begin to ascend on shaky legs, graciously taking Jisung’s hand and clinging to both him and Seungmin as they help you into the room. “Thanks,” you huff, giving them both a hug in return to their chivalry. And they dare say it’s dead!

Behind you, Changbin and Hyunjin lift the ladder-stepstool mutation back into the room and it isn’t until they have folded it into a more compact piece and set it against the wall do you speak up.

“Did you… buy a ladder?”

“Yes!” Minho bellows, thrilled by your successful entrance. “Isn’t it great?” After pulling back from a hug, he keeps his hands on your shoulders just to shake you like a bobble-head.

“Yes,” you grunt once he’s released you, head swimming, “a lot easier than hauling both me and Changbin through the window, right?” Looking to said boy, you can’t help but melt into his side when he pulls you close. “No worries,” Changbin beams, rubbing your arm, “at least we have some funny memories now.” When he moves to flop onto his bed, you realize with a shudder that you are alone with Hyunjin.

Well, technically not alone since they are all right there, but alone in the sense that they are not paying attention to you nor him.

“Hey, YN. I missed you,” he singsongs, engulfing you in one of his monster bear hugs. Disregarding the heart palpitations they may cause, Hyunjin’s hugs are truly the best and you wish you would initiate them more if it didn’t seem like such a big deal in that smooth brain of yours. “I missed you, too,” you mutter into his chest, squeezing your arms around him as if to engrave this feeling into your mind forever. “We saw each other, like, five hours ago,” he reminds you, finally pulling back and taking your will to live with him. God, he has no idea.

“And? You’re the only one here who doesn’t make me suicidal,” you lie because, in reality, he actually does. Just in a different way. “Aw,” he coos, large hand squeezing your side and you think you could orgasm on command, “good thing we have tonight, then, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you squeak, finally remembering to breathe when he steps away to sit beside Seungmin on his bed. Suddenly, you are feeling incredibly grateful no one is next to Changbin because, well, 1) he is closer to Felix and 2), you need a distraction.

“Hello, Felix,” you greet the boy sunk deep in a bean bag chair, busy grinding leaves and packing them into the bowl of a bong. “How are you this fine evening, YN?” He asks once you have settled beside Changbin, brows knitting together when the older boy drapes his arm around your waist.

“Good. Tired, though. How ‘bout you?”

“You didn’t have to come if you’re tired! We all know you work your ass off, no one’s gonna judge if you chose to stay home and sleep,” Felix expresses, giving you a look that screams ‘mom.’

“No! I’m not that tired,” you assure him, reaching for his hand and squeezing for extra effect, “you know I wouldn’t miss this. You’ve made me a pothead.”

With a proud smile, he returns to his designated job and begins working on the second, smaller bong. “So,” stretching to set your things on the desk beside Changbin’s bed, you turn to him with a knowing smile, “how’s the album coming?”

“Great!” He beams, eyes lighting up at the topic. “Jisung is a great addition. Did I tell you we started meeting with someone else, too?”

“No, who?”

“He’s a sophomore, Bang Chan?” Somewhere behind you, Felix passes a bong to Jisung for the first hit. “Bang Chan? Holy shit, Binnie,” repeatedly punching his arm to express your excitement, “that’s amazing! I didn’t know he was into music production. Not that I’ve ever talked to him, but.”

“No, I get you,” he hums, giving your side a firm squeeze, “he’s really awesome making beats. I hope we’re successful.” Then, reaching past you, he takes the second bong and a lighter from Felix. When he resituates himself, he’s considerably closer than before. You don’t mind.

“Ladies first?” Changbin offers with a crooked grin, handing them to you. Then, on second thought, he holds onto the lighter to do the honors. “Sure. Thanks,” you laugh, glancing across the room to find everyone arguing over which color to set the lights to as they wait for their high. Bringing the tube to your lips, you offer a miniscule nod to him and then he is setting flame to the bowl. Sucking strong enough to generate bubbles, you unplug the bowl once he stops and breathe in as much as your lungs can handle in one go. Then, once you have exhaled, you quickly finish what’s left in the tube before passing it to Changbin with a pleased smile.

“That was a lot,” he points out once you have handed the bong back to him. “Hey, you’re the one who kept lighting it for thirty seconds. Mother would be proud,” you joke, reciprocating the same service and lighting the bowl until he glares at you beneath his bangs.

The best part about being high is the fact that you are constantly laughing. Things won’t even be that funny, but once someone starts laughing—you’re done for. You laugh so hard it hurts, and then once it’s all over, you realize it wasn’t funny at all. “Has anyone ever told you that you look like a squirrel?” Minho asks Jisung at some point. You absolutely loose it. It quite possibly is the funniest thing you have ever heard.

Pouting, Squirrel Boy leaves Minho alone on his bed to come crash beside you. “How are you, my tender oozing blossom?”

Squinting at him past the way your eyes burn, you make grabby hands and pull him close to wrap your arms around his teeny waist. Changbin grumbles in protest, but he’s too transfixed on the light’s soft in and out fade of different colors to say anything else. “Please, don’t ever call me that again,” you mumble into Jisung’s mop of brown hair.

“What?” He gasps, tilting to look up at you with puppy eyes. “You didn’t like it?”

“Nope,” smiling lazily, you rest your head atop his, “I love you, but I’m not ready for pet names yet.” His face morphs from a frown to one lit with excitement. “Holy shit, did you just say you love me? Do my eyes deceive me?”

“That would be your ‘ears,’ but yes,” you hum, brain simply not capable of denying it the way your sober self would. “More than Changbin?” Jisung whispers.

“Yes, but don’t tell him,” you return quietly, biting back a laugh.

“More than Hyunjin?” He counters. At this, you look up to find said boy sat with his legs to his chest across the room. Next to Seungmin, he looks like a giant; but a happy, pouty giant that keeps talking about how much he could go for a winter melon tea right now.

“Never.”

One and a half (half because it was just the rest of Minho’s terribly big hit that left tears streaming down his cheeks) and an unfinished game of Cards Against Humanity later, you find yourself in a blissful headspace. The song playing quietly through Felix’s speaker makes it feel like you are bouncing down stairs and then going up again, and the lights are oh so pretty, pink fading to red, yellow to green, blue to purple and so on. Things are fuzzy but crystal clear at the same time, the popcorn you’ve been shoveling into your mouth tastes heavenly, and your body feels like it is engulfed in a warm, comforting hug.

Or, that could just be Changbin.

Somewhere in between trying to get more comfortable and him yanking you to stay next to him when you attempted to get up and hug Seungmin for something sweet he said, you now find yourself on your back with a clinging Changbin on your side. You are so comfortable, but also insanely hot, and as you begin to slowly come down from your high as the hours tick by, you begin to realize it’s for another reason.

What started as an innocent hand on your side turned into his thumb rubbing meaningless patterns against your shirt, which then turned into his hand slipping beneath to splay against the warmth of your skin. Growing increasingly needy as the minutes go by, you turn to look at everyone around you. Jisung, who found himself returning to Minho, appears to be passed out with him on the far end of the room. Seungmin, curled up on the floor with a pillow and a heap of blankets. Felix, who finished off the rest of his weed, scrolls aimlessly on his phone still at the peak of his high.

And Hyunjin, who you assume has been fast asleep on his bed for a while now if the arm flung over his face tells you anything. For a moment, you feel sick with sadness. So close, but so far he lies, always a step out of reach. But you can’t deny how Changbin makes you feel—for right now, at least. And it would be a shame to miss out on an opportunity with someone else because the one you want is unattainable.

Right?

Changbin must sense the way your breathing increases, must feel the way your body reacts to the slightest of touches, yet he takes his time. He is soft in the way his hand travels up your arm, rough fingertips grazing over your collarbones before smoothing down over your chest and abdomen. It isn’t until you are about to burst at the seams does he give your ass a strong squeeze and urge your leg over his hips.

“Changbin,” you sigh, biting your lip to keep from whimpering when he begins pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses down the length of your throat. “Please touch me.”

He only makes a sound of agreement, savoring the way you squirm and grip onto his arm for dear life. When he offers an experimental roll of his hips to grind against you, you practically go feral. The last time you were touched in such a way was at a party in the beginning of the semester Jisung and co. physically forced you to go to, and Changbin has barely even touched you and it’s already better than the rushed sex you had that night.

“Wait,” he huffs, pausing his ministrations no matter how difficult it is to do so, “we can’t.”

“What?” You hiss, trying to keep your voice quiet, “why?”

“Because you’re high, and I’m high, and I’m not going to do anything unless you really want me to,” Changbin explains, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips when you frown in response. “But I do want you to,” you huff, chasing his mouth for another, “I trust you one hundred percent.”

“Are you sure, YN?” What about Hyunjin? is what he really means and you know he’s right. You should have never told Felix.

Trying to ignore the wetness of your underwear, you turn to lie on your back. “Whatever. Never mind,” you mumble, and when you glance back to him, you can’t help the way your heart soars with him still pressed closely to your side, blinking tiredly at you. But like he said, it’s not Hyunjin. “Just get some sleep, Binnie. Forget it happened,” smiling past the tears that threaten to spill, you ruffle his hair and press a softer kiss to his forehead.

“I’m sorry,” Changbin whispers, returning the affection with a kiss to your shoulder. In minutes, he is snoring softly beside you.

You can’t fall asleep to save your life.

Reaching for your phone to check the time, you grit your teeth once you realize it’s almost four and you definitely have been staring at the ceiling for more than an hour. For starters, you are freezing now; unlike these passed out hooligans, you are showing a lot more skin and not being under the blankets is not doing you well. And secondly, it’s hard to fall asleep when your thoughts are flying miles a minute.

Is this how it’s going to be, then? Whenever you see someone, will the little guy on your shoulder whisper in your ear that it’s not Hyunjin? Or will people deem you off limits because they know of your infatuation? People who know, at least—Changbin is the first, apparently.

Just need to get comfy, you decide, trying to ignore such thoughts and turning to lie on your stomach. Bless Felix for leaving the lights on, too—you may be coming down from your high, but the vibe is simply immaculate. Tucking a hand under your cheek and following the ropes of light on the ceiling and up the walls, you find this to be enough to calm your nerves. Enough to make your eyelids heavy. Finally.

Someone lets out a monster train snore. Seungmin, you think, biting your lip to keep from laughing. Or, it could be Hyunjin. The thought is so amusing you can’t help but squint at the boy across from you to better see his outline, hoping he will do it again just to confirm.

No, not Hyunjin.

Because he’s facing you, eyes open, a soft smile plastered on his face. Well, fuck.

No reason to panic, you console yourself, returning a gentle smile in the assumption he can even see you. And you stay like that for a while, simply watching one another for an infinite amount of time. It’s not much, but it means something, you think, lost in the way the contours and highlights of his face change with each color the lights fade to. Just as you remember the whole point of getting on your stomach was to fall asleep, Hyunjin moves. Reaching for his phone, you watch in confusion as he brings it close to his face and starts typing.

hwang hyunjin👁👄👁 [now] Come sleep w me?

You almost throw up in your mouth. You must be dreaming. Surely.

Blinking against the harsh light of your phone, you cannot help your smile as you reread the text.

[4:02 am] YN: wont that b a little sus for bin

[4:02 am] hwang hyunjin👁👄👁: If anyone asks just say he kept kicking u or something

You don’t need to be told twice. Now that he has turned onto his side facing the other direction, Changbin does not stir once you slowly move to sit up and stand, nor when you reach for the quilt crumbled at the foot of the bed to pull over him. It’s not much, but hopefully it will keep him from waking in a few hours freezing to death. Then, as you tiptoe your way over to Hyunjin’s bed, avoiding Felix now that he’s sprawled half way off the bean bag, you cannot tell if you are still shivering from the cold or if the fact you are going to be sleepingwith Hyunjin in one, tiny single bed is finally clicking in your brain. Like Maddie said, this is something you want, right?

As you draw closer, Hyunjin shifts to make room and lifts the covers for you to quietly slip beneath. “Thank you,” you whisper, pulling the blanket up to your chin and trying to ignore the feeling of being so close to him. “Of course. You looked real cold over there,” he smiles tiredly. Then, his arm cautiously curls around you to rest by your head, fingers swiping stray hairs away from your face.

“I was,” you admit. Eyes level to his lips, you strain to look him in the eyes to resist the temptation now that he’s pulled you so close. “Changbin fell asleep and I felt bad waking him.”

Hyunjin doesn’t reply. He seems momentarily lost in thought, brows slightly furrowed as he chews on the inside of his lip.

“Do you like him?” He finally asks, voice shaky with hesitation.

“What?” You sputter, shocked at such a presumption. Yet again…

“No, no I don’t. I mean—as a friend, yes, but, you know,” you trail off, squeezing your eyes shut. You desperately wish you were not having this conversation right now. “He was touching you, though. And it looked like you liked it,” Hyunjin whispers, thumb swiping against your cheekbone.

“I mean, well yeah, I did. But I’m not close enough to like him like that. It’s just a physical attraction,” realizing you are discussing what went down with Changbin to Hyunjin, you suddenly pull back and lean up on an elbow to get a better look at him, heat now spreading up your limbs like fire. “Were you watching us, Hwang?”

“Yes,” he admits, “it’s kind of hard not to.” Your heart stops beating.

“I – what?” You manage once you have remembered how to breathe. “I didn’t know you were awake, we wouldn’t have… what do you mean, ‘it’s kind of hard not to?’”

“You know what I mean, YN,” Hyunjin mutters, arm slipping around your waist and pulling you to lie down with him again, this time, your chest pressed to his. “I like looking at you. You’re very pretty.”

You definitely must still be high, because you are seriously having a hard time wrapping your mind around Hyunjin calling you pretty, as well as being so close, and somewhere deep in your mind wonders if he knows. If he knows how your heart is on the line here. Knows that with him moving closer, you are taking a huge risk.

When Hyunjin kisses you, you forget that this could be the worst mistake you’ve made in a long time. Wrapped around his fingers, you pray this is his way of saying he feels the same.

“YN!” You wake to Seungmin gently shaking your shoulder. “YN, wake up. Your phone has been vibrating for twenty minutes now. It’s Maddie.”

The wave of panic washing over you dispels the grogginess you feel from suddenly being yanked from sleep, as well as the recognition of where you are and who you’re with. Frantic, you sit up and nod in thanks to him before taking the call. “Hello?”

“Oh, thank God you answered,” Maddie cries, voice choked, “I’m sorry, I know you’re still out, but I just threw up and I feel so terrible and when I get up I feel so nauseous. Can you come home?”

“Shit, Maddie, don’t apologize,” you whisper, rushing to grab your things as Seungmin unfolds The Ladder as quietly as possible, “I’m leaving now. Don’t move, you don’t want it to get worse. I’ll be there as fast as I can, okay?”

“Okay,” she whimpers before hanging up.

“Thank you, Minnie,” pressing a kiss to his cheek, you begin to climb down. “Is everything okay?” He asks, watching as you go with a worried frown. “Yes, it’s fine. Just a little emergency, don’t worry,” praying no one is out and about watching as you climb from the back of their building, you rush back to help Maddie as fast as you can.

You stay back in your dorm with Maddie for the rest of the weekend, fetching her water and ginger ale and food she can handle, helping her to the restroom, and binging all sorts of shows and movies with her. Seungmin, Jisung, and Minho visit Sunday evening, joining you for a few hours to watch Pokémon. You think it’s just because Minho knew it would be a good opportunity to snuggle with Maddie.

You can’t help but feel disappointed when Hyunjin isn’t with them. You refrained from telling Maddie what happened in 201, too caught up wanting to make sure she was alright, and by now you are starting to feel as if it wasn’t even real. Maybe you made the whole night up in your marijuana-infused brain. And snuggled up with Jisung, you can’t help but wish it was this annoying shit you were falling in love with.

On Monday morning, Hyunjin doesn’t show up for breakfast. On Tuesday, you find out he has been hanging out with a girl he met at his favorite boba joint and apparently won’t shut up about. First, you run back to your dorm to cry to Maddie, having to explain all of Friday night to her. When she leaves for her lab, you call Felix for an emergency smoke session. When Maddie texts that she is going to be out late working on a project, you call Changbin to tell him that you really do want him to.

Like you said, it’s just a physical attraction, right?

⇢ part 2

[yamagucji]

love letters from cupid.

dear lovely anons,

i cherish every bit of interaction we have. im extremely grateful to know that there are people out there who read and enjoy my works. hm, hope you know that i care about each of you. honestly sometimes i just wanna make a post dedicated to each of you but idk!! if you’ll see it or not. hopefully this bit is enough to let you know how much i appreciate every single one of you. thank you.

dear readers,

thank you for reading my works. it’s comforting to know that there are people out there who will check out something that i’ve slapped on together with every bit of my effort. to those of you who have consistently supported my works in silence- you know who you are. im just... keeping my distance because ya’ll are really just minding your own business while i get giddy about seeing you pop up in my notifications again. im hoping to get around and send a ty note to as many special readers n special ppl on this blog. but im a little shy, so i hope you’ll give me some time. seeing you in my notifications from time to time makes me happy; sometimes i do wonder if you’re still here and in good health. i hope you all are right now. thank you.

dear dani,

what a wonderful being you are. never regretting the first time i *shyly* asked if there was anyone that wanted to be friends here. i probably already talk about my love for you and vera so much but who’s gonna stop me? you’re such a cool person. i look up to you (literally). i think it’s amazing to get to know a person who has a lot of passion for history like me. but also- screams about 2d men with me. truthfully, this site is much more bearable having you as a moot. i feel very comfortable talking to you, about anything at all. lomve you, you’re the best.

dear mayya,

kindness personified. im sure you’ve made a plethora of people smile with every rb and comment you’ve given; including me. i think it’s very refreshing to see such genuine comments. you radiate this calm aura that im always seeking for. thank you, for providing me (and many other people) with that. a little embarrassing that you see my uhm, messy sideblog, but... it’s comforting i think. to know that someone is listening. i hope that you understand it goes the other way around too— that i’m here for you.

dear hrituja,

my partner of chaos. when did it start? i can’t remember. all i know is that every little thing you send me on instagram really makes my day. i’ll have bad days and all i need to do is look at the silly stuff you sent me and get a laugh out of it. i think it’s cool that we’ve been able to build this space where we can talk about anything (literally), poke fun of each other, and also ourselves. you’re cool. i genuinely like hearing you go off about ace. if i could meet a moot it’d probably be you unless you’re secretly a fraud and you’re actually just a 80 yr old man looking for a sugar babie. in that case im in.

dear oz,

you overly sweet bean. i genuinely watch you in awe from afar, just by how talented and hardworking you are. your art is amazing, and i always look forward to the design you make for your oc’s outfits. thank you for understanding me, and for being patient with me. i care about you a lot, so if there’s ever anything that’s occupying your mind and you need to let them out, i’m here to listen. ps. i really don’t know any other mutual who listens to *that* comfort stuff like i do so im really thankful to have someone to talk about them with. you can always share your interests with me too, especially with your dearest tendou.

dear tate,

im such in awe of you. just the fact that you devote a lot of your time into writing and setting up the theme for your blog astounds me. not to mention, your art skills as well. i am still very much in love with that bokuto piece you made with the hanging leaves. i hope you know that bokuto loves you just as much as you do to him. i know you’re writing up something special atm, so i’m really looking forward to it. thank you for all the time you’ve spared just to send me an ask. it truly does mean a lot to me. it feels like someone is listening, and i’m very appreciative of having you as my dear mutual. please know that i’m here to support you too, with the best of my abilities.

dear winx club,

[ @wissbby @kageruna @pinkbunnyplushie @astrooliver @lovingtobio @kenmaki @lfjr @lcsbianist ]

im such a clutz, but thank you for dealing with me. i was little nervous to start up such a discord server because im bad at staying in one. though, the warm environment that you all provide makes me feel much more at ease. i think it’s funny popping in to the server and seeing a few people spamming the chat with hugs, headpats and kisses. it’s sweet, too. being in a group discord can get overwhelming for some people, so i appreciate you all for having that patience. another thing- thank you for understanding each other’s boundaries. its hard to be aware all the time especially when you’re interacting with people you don’t know to at a very personal level. im glad that you all helped each other make the space comfy. i look forward to more chaotic and genuine talks with all of you in the future. maybe we’ll still be in touch with each other after a long while? who knows. but im going to cherish every single moment i get with you all.

dear @nishinoya-is-baby @keitsukki11 @sullen-angel24 @smolbludandelions @whootwhoot @cheatingthroughthislife @tadashi-simp @oikaw-ugh @lostsealscreams @sleepykarabou @atsunflower @lfjr @globe-fish @bewwybun @tetsoleil @sleepykarabou @justcafewriter @rin-suna @atsumusc0ck @waitforitillwritemywayout @dorkyhaikyu @yemilnisu @sunseteyes @kenmaki @kenanami,

goodness, i would write you all individual messages if time let me. but, i hope this is alright. i just wanted to thank you all for interacting with some dummy like me because that shit takes real patience </3 y’all are some really cool people and im really glad to have you as a moot. im ngl im pretty sure i’ve stopped by all your inboxes just to forget to actually send an ask :’( or maybe im too shy. one or the other. hopefully i can come around to all your ask boxes soon and fill it with my love because it’s what you all deserve. ya’ll are such amazing and talented people. for the love of god- you have all my love and care in the world. i hope that these past few weeks have been gentle with you, but if not, please let yourself rest from whatever it is that may be putting you down. here’s a gentle reminder that im always here to listen, and i wouldn’t judge you for whatever it is it may be. thank you for being so kind to me, and i hope to return that as well. take care.

@insanitywrites @derpeedoo @killuababie @lespaghetti @ordinary-ace

i haven’t told you this until now but, thank you for giving me company and comfort during a time that i was deeply struggling.

ps. if there’s any grammar or spelling mistakes no u did not see that <3

[writtenwhalien]

GASP??? i missed your drabble update 😭till I saw ur recent ask talking about my fave couple but here I am devouring to it! better late than never!! My fav power couple is back and they’re still all over each other. We 👏🏼love👏🏼 to 👏🏼see 👏🏼 it. Thank you so much for this wonderful treat. 🥺🤍 I really really love the strawberries and cream twist omg ❤️‍🔥 and also the lactationkink 😶‍🌫️ i hope you’re doing well 🥺🤍 #AOY

btw here’s a tiny bit of treat I saw. Thought u might like it too 😉

ahh sweet anon this has made my day! 🥰🥰 thank you so much for reading it, of course I had to revisit our favourite couple and give some much needed time to the pregnancy and dilf!jimin — need I say more? 😛 you’re very welcome and I’m so glad you enjoyed it 🥰 sorry you missed it earlier though, I didn’t end up pinning it to my page or even self rb-ing very much bc I just don’t think it’s great LOL. but thank you for this message, it’s very reassuring 🥺💘

and also a BIG THANK YOU FOR THE TWEET 😅😅😅😅😅—

I’ve seen posts about both before and gosh those dimples are so cute like raise your hand if you just wanna kiss them 🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️ and let’s not get started on that v-line 😃

[fgojous]

— SEE YOU AGAIN [15]

+ summary. in which, you and sanzu are in a very chaotic marriage,

+ tags. romance, fluff, heavy (?) angst, modern au, smau, arrange marriage au, college setting, use of profanities, eventual smut, 18+

+ note. hello, i know this update took too long im v sorry :< huhu shakdjashd anw, here it is. hope u guys enjoy. likes, rbs, and replies are always appreciated <3 i keep 'em all in my heart hiho lemme know what u think <333

this isn't proofread, i'm sleepy it's 4 am here ahdkshsk close ur eyes on the errors 😴 there's like paragraph after four pics just in case hehe so u dont scroll on the pics for the last part

+ status. on-going

+ masterlist.

“You done with my phone?” you asked Haruchiyo with your eyebrows raised, he just grinned at you and handed you your phone, you just went away for a while to buy more tokens and have no clue as to what your friends and husband are talking about, “What did you tell them now- what the fuck.”

“What? She was asking.” he answered nonchalantly and intertwined your fingers together, “Where do you want to go next?”

“You know I still have classes later and you dragged me here.” You said, “If I fail that subject, it’s your fault.”

He just shrugged his shoulders and smiled at you, “Okay, blame it all on me, baby.”

You shook your head and followed him anyway. There's no single doubt that you’re feeling all sorts of guilt—however, holding Haruchiyo’s hand, him telling you how much he loves you—it’s a different feeling, isn’t it? It’s wondrous, you feel like you’re on top of the world.

It seems like yesterday, you were bawling your eyes out but now you have a huge smile on your face.

You got what you always wanted, just like what Kakucho said earlier. There's no serious harm done, you're supposed to be with him even before Naomi came in the picture.

Naomi’s just a little bump in the road but why do you still feel like you’re the second option in this? Why do you feel like you took Haru away from someone else?

“Haru.” you called his name, you flashed him a smile as soon as he turned his head to your direction, “Let’s play that one.”

“Alright!” he cheered a bit loud causing other people to look your way, but Haruchiyo didn't care. Why would he care, he doesn't even know these people and probably won't see them again, he thought.

“Can you calm down?” you said, Haru just stuck his tongue out at you and placed his arm around your shoulder.

“Whatever. Can you even shoot a gun? Can you aim?” he cockily said with an arrogant grin on his lips. You don’t even know if you want to smack him in the head or kiss him on the lips so that he can shut up, you know how flustered he gets when you kiss him—that would totally shut him up.

“That’s not a real gun, Haruchiyo. What the fuck are you saying? And, can I aim? Can you? You can’t even pee right. Look at our toilet seat, there's pee everywhere. I swear I will-”

Once again he covered your mouth. He frowned when he felt your tongue on his palm, “Are you licking my hand? Did you know I scratched my ass with this hand.”

“Fuck you!”

…

“I got more kills than you, can you aim?” you raised your eyebrow at Haru with a proud smile on your lips. The pink-haired idiot turned to you with a pout and placed his arm around your shoulder, “So? What do you have to say for yourself?”

“I just…” he pursed his lips, “I let you win. Because I love you, okay?”

You snickered and pinched his nose, “If you say so. Loser.”

“I’m not!”

“Loser.”

“I see, the married couple are bickering. We can come back.” you both turned to the person who just spoke.

Right, Hina and Takemichi are also at the arcade. “We’re not. He just can’t accept that he’s a loser. So, anyway. What are you two up to?”

“We’re about to ride the ferris wheel outside. You want to go with us?”

You turned to Haru and he nodded at you with a warm smile on his face, he reached for your hand—intertwining your fingers together as you both walked behind the other couple. “Remind me that I have something to give you when we’re on the ferris wheel.”

“Okay?” you responded, wondering what surprise he got up his sleeves now.

You reached the line for the ferris wheel, Sanzu wrapped his arms around your waist while waiting in line—Hina has a big smile on her face as she watched the both of you—of course, Hina knows how happy you are right now, you always tell her how much you wished for this, and now you have what you always wanted.

She’s happy for you, the look on your face while you laugh and look at Sanzu was so refreshing to see.

She was there when you were down and now you’re so mirthful that she wishes you’d stay that way—that you’d never feel that broken again.

What more can happen anyway? You love each other, it’s in your eyes. No one can get in the way, right?

“Excuse me.” she called for the two of you, bursting your own little world, “I hate to burst your bubble but it’s our turn if you still want to ride.”

You rolled your eyes jokingly which Hina mimicked, you rode the pod behind them. Once you got on, you immediately turned to Haru with a questioning look on your face.

“What?”

“What are you going to give me?”

He laughed, pinching your cheeks lightly. You rolled your eyes, scenes like this are a total cliché for you, but you can't help but feel giddy—it’s true what they say, you’ll never know the feeling unless you’re the one experiencing it.

Well, you never thought you will experience dumb romantic shits but here you are.

“Can you wait? When we’re on the top or something.”

“Fine.”

Haru just smiled at you while you’re still wondering what he wanted to give you, not until you reached the top, the astonishing view of the city greeted you—the busy streets and the pretty lights from the tall buildings were certainly a treat for your eyes.

“Okay.” you turned to your husband once you heard his voice, “Remember this?”

You didn't think you could smile as wide as you did before, “Haru… you kept it?”

He nodded, grinning at you—if your heart could explode there’d be bits of it everywhere. “Of course, baby.”

“Hey.”

“What?” he sniffed, wiping his tears with his arms as he turned his back on you, “Go away.”

You giggled, disregarding what he just told you and squatted in front of him, “What’s the matter, Haru? Did Omi tease you again? You want me to fight him?”

“Yeah.” he snorted, causing you to frown, “Like you could take him.”

You raised your eyebrow, did he just tell you that you’re weak? But then again, you’re not there to fight your best friend, you’re there to console him in whatever made him cry. “Excuse me?! Then can you tell me why you are crying?”

The ten-year-old boy looked at you with tears brimming at the corner of his eyes, “Because you have such an ugly face it makes me want to cry.”

“Really?” you smacked his arm, “Okay, then. Don't talk to me.”

“I’m just kidding!” he laughed, you can't help but smile—he’s always the brightest when he’s laughing, you know? But what you don't know is he beams the most when he’s with you.

It’s as if he didn't cry earlier—which you still don't know why, “It’s nothing.”

“If it’s nothing then why are you all snotty at the corner?”

“It’s because I’m always left alone. I won the contest earlier, right?” you nodded, you can't forget how proud you are at him while watching him on stage at your school earlier, “Then… Omi just had to do something great too. It’s petty-”

“You're ridiculous.” you laughed, “You're not left alone. You have me.”

Before he could even speak, you removed the charm bracelet that you’re wearing with your initials on it and reached for his arm, “Don't you ever think that you're left alone, okay? If you ever feel like that just look at this bracelet then you’ll remember that I’m always with you. Stupid.”

“So, you’re giving it back?”

“No!” he immediately denied, “This is mine.”

He reached for a box in his pocket, “This is yours. I was supposed to give you this on our anniversary with the necklace but it wasn't ready then.”

“C’mere.” he softly said, you carefully stood up from your seat since the pod will move, he reached for your wrist as soon as you sat beside him, “I had this custom made, they don't sell these anymore, you know?”

You chuckled, “Of course, we bought that years ago.”

“There. Now we’re matching.”

You bite your lip, trying to contain the big smile plastered on your face as you look at the charm bracelet—with his initials on it this time.

“Haru.” you turned to him, cupping his cheeks with both your hands. His heart beats uncontrollably when you close your eyes and press your lips on his—he reciprocates your kiss, closing his eyes as he relishes this heartening feeling around the air—as banal as it seems, it felt like his whole world was in slow motion.

He can hear his and your heart beating in sync. Fuck it, he loves you intensely that he wanted you close—so close that you can never slip away from him.

That he wished that you’d never feel what you feel for him for someone else any further. That you’d only love him—because he’s the same for you.

But you know he never had to worry about it, all that you feel and all of you were always meant for him.

“I love you.” he whispered once you both pulled away.

You giggled, deciding to tease him with your answer. “Yeah, okay. Let me think about what I feel for you, okay?”

He scrunched his nose as he flicked your forehead, “Funny.”

...

two months after — summer break

infos !

naomi and yua are cousins, they're very close.

sanzu doesn't know. he just know that naomi has a close cousin back home—she mentioned her name, but he forgot.

yua knows sanzu, that's why she also rejected sanzu back then when she thought he's really courting her bcos she knows he's her cousin's ex.

haru cried on the flashback cos their parents gave takeomi the limited edition car collectible that he wanted :< but after he got yn's charm bracelet he didn't think much about the car hehe

...

+ see you again taglist. @hanmascult @ryouhoe @fl4mepillar @meena-in-a-nutshell @haruphilia @hxked @xxrwzy @sophiesuna @douraken @mapachemapato @kawaii-desv @eriskaitto @smolaf-filipino @hanmasgf @mitsuika @lustiel-winchester @cryszus @babydiamondblog @sseorin @k0ut4r0u @bbloblobb @gulfkfl

+ tokyo revengers taglist. @cosmiclvsh @tojisqueen @imnotjo @r-xochitl @bekky06 @toshiswifey @ninetyeightrins @litle-crow @n-nara @hollowpurpl @iiclal @miyuuuuuposts @haitanilove @aclairysm @awkcasted @yukie35 @Prettylily @chronic-claire-universe @inupiko @chosoisbaby @marixxi @spaceemeeat @shizukuusagii @amaejiki @parca-de-destinos @kuraries @missysimpy @a-astxr @mui_xd @fr00g1es @gwynsapphire @kookie-my-little-sunshine @kqtsukisgf @angtsumu @cakenchill @madarasgf

[gremedits]

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳ GREMEDITS ! ·₊˚

i’ve always wanted to make a simple intro thing as a post, so here we are.!

a danganronpa and my hero academia edit blog and while its not a kin blog its still definitely kin-friendly. more info including rules and dni under the cut!

(oh, and if you wanna promo me just rb this post, I’m not gonna tag anyone though !)

˚₊·‹ RULES ›·₊˚

→ the basics

describe your request : The type of edit, (icon, header, etc) and It’s size and shape (only icons can be non-square) 

max. one requests per ask : Don’t put two vastly different requests in one ask, it gets confusing so just send 2 asks 

be patient : I’m human. if your request is taking too long don’t send me asks, dm’s or even reply on my posts about it. You’re getting all this for free just, give me time

credit : please leave credit where its visible and don’t claim my edits as yours

I can deny a request for whatever reason

→ what I’ll do

icons : 4-9 icons, any shape (ex. circle icons) or size. if not specified it’ll be a square in my preferred size || example

gif icons : 2-4 icons, danganronpa only. and only the 3 main games unless fanmade sprites are available || example

headers : 2-6 headers, default is 1280x720. specify if you want a twitter header || example

gif headers : 2-4, same rules as gifcons apply. || examples

wallpapers : 2-6, default is 720x1280. specify your screen size or device if you want anything else, applies to desktop wallpapers || example

moodboards (new) : 2-3 themes, anything from pride flags, colors, etc, and 1-3 characters in one moodboard || example

→ themes & design

colors : just. mention any color you want and I’ll use that for the edit

aesthetics : mention any aesthetic (ex. cottagecore, lovecore, grungecore) and I’ll try my best to emulate it

pride flags : max. 3 flags for icons, max 2 flags for headers and wallpapers (preferred if you just req 1 flag for headers & wallpapers). any valid gender/sexuality (not animesexual or dracosexual shit) if you want a specific xenogender/themed flag leave the creator’s @ or a link to their post || example

→ sources

All 3 main Danganronpa games + UDG, dr3 anime, Gaiden killer killer, every light novel with canon art.

My Hero Academia (mostly manga art)

My Hero Academia Vigilantes

if I do an edit with characters from other sources, they’re most likely for close friends

→ blacklist

character : Haiji Towa

straight ships w/ these characters : Tenko Chabashira, Nagito Komaeda, Kokichi Ouma, Kiyotaka Ishimaru, Nekomaru Nidai, Juzo Sakakura.

ships : Korekiyo x his sister, Togafuka (Byakuya x Toko), Hinanami (Hajime x Chiaki), Kamunami (Izuru x Chiaki), Amamatsu (Kaede x Rantaro), Shiromami (Tsumugi x Rantaro), Ougoku (Kokichi x Gonta), Toko x Genocider Syo, any WoH ship or Eri ship, and any inc-strual or p-dophilic ships. Pls specify if they’re platonic edits and I’ll do them

˚₊·‹ DNI ›·₊˚

do not interact if you’re

pedophile/map/supporter, lgbtq exclus, discriminate against and/or fetishize minorities, pro mspec gay/lesbian, anti abortion, u get the idea

identify as yandere / support irl yandere

support any kind of p-dophilia or inc-st

is fanpol or harass/send death threats to anyone (proshippers included)

(like I'm not proship but if you bully proshippers dni. proshippers can interact but not if you support p3do or inc3st if that makes sense. just be a decent human being and don't bully anyone)

˚₊· check my bio to see if requests are open or not!