#if you're upset about the character being unable to reciprocate please don't make that my problem.

[ask-shane]

PSA

hi it's mod dawn here. i need to address something. i wrote this out in the tags on one post but i'll reiterate. when it comes to any of my ask/roleplay blogs, i CANNOT uphold established romantic relationships with anyone in character. this means the characters cannot say yes to being your s/o (dating or married). flirting is fine. it can be funny and sweet to interact like that. but i have to set the boundary there.

when the characters are 'reciprocating' your flirting, it is not to give false hope, nor is it supposed to be something sad. it's not a shane thing, it's a ME thing. there is a real person behind this. i do not feel comfortable roleplaying a romantic relationship, and i apologize if that makes people feel like the character is leading anyone on. it isn't my intention. if this boundary does not sit well with you, you are free to unfollow me. all that to say, please don't take the blog(s) too seriously. i just feel the need to make this clear due to some lingering concerns lately. thank you for listening.

[according2thelore]

i love the es dean / ls sam dynamic you've set up so much. I feel like it would slowly become a little hard for es dean though, as much as he's also happy as hell -- bc this sam knows him SO WELL and can read him like a freaking book and is able to ~take care of him~ and dean tries soo hard but he can't reciprocate as fully. it's the steak, it's sammy pushing him away for older dean after a nightmare, it's something happening that sets him off and sam just LEAVES (okay, to the gun range, not leaves-leaves, but STILL) and when es!dean tries to follow ls!dean won't let him, says he needs the time alone to regulate.....

I think it would be really tough for 26yo dean who is so used to caring for people--who LOVES caring for people--and is not so used to being doted on. and ofc ls sam knows he's trying and adores him for it and isn't at all upset but still... i think the role reversal, as it is, would be tough for him at times.

you're so right, anon!!!!

and EEP!!! thank you!!! ES!Dean and LS!Sam are just *sounds of me devouring them like the cookie monster*

you've hit the nail right on the head!

one of my favourite things about dean as a character is his crippling desire to be essential.

i think this trait is a lot more baldly demonstrated in the early seasons--he's collapsing inwards from it. he needs to be essential to dad, but he's not. he needs to be essential to sam, but he's not.

hell, he says it S1E2: "saving people, hunting things" -- he needs to be needed. his entire identity is built on the necessity of his existence. he has to hunt these monsters, because they (civilians) rely on him. who is going to protect them if i don't? i sacrifice my health and safety and life so the ambiguous "you" are safe.

LS!Dean takes a more back-step approach to this: he has a circle of friends/family that he wants to be important to, but he really only needs to be essential to sam (the trials, kicking cas out of the house in a time of particular need, not being responsive to jack's need to connect, etc.). he has his reasons, but he's a lot more jaded, and connects less with individuals on hunts. a barest touch less "saving people" a touch more "hunting things."

but for ES!Dean?? babygirl he NEEDS IT!!!! he loves serving a purpose!!!!! when sam says "i need you to be my brother again, because, just because--" DEAN DROPS EVERYTHING!!!! HIS BABY NEEDS HIM!!!

people needing ES!Dean is his purpose! so i think an LS!Sam who has needs that dean can't fill, or that can only be filled by someone else (like LS!Dean), it would tear ES!Dean down from the inside.

and he's not used to being doted on! his whole purpose is functionality to the user. ES!Sam just came back after not-needing dean so hard that he left for four years, some of that no-contact.

so for LS!Sam to choke down a steak that he can't stand, or take ES!Dean to the store and insist on buying him whatever cool shit he can fit in his arms; to, hell, even the quiet moments, of LS!Sam bringing ES!Dean his beer first. or salting ES!Dean's fries at the counter like he likes them before they even sit down.

it's confusing!!!! ES!Dean keeps trying desperately to reciprocate, to prove that i have function too! i know you, too! i'm not ungrateful, and i'm not purposeless, and you should keep me! please keep me!

but he keeps misstepping! from big things like the steak or being unable to calm sam down from a panic attack to small things like not knowing which weird hippie cereal sam likes best.

he keeps trying to provide and to dote and to care, but LS!Sam needs different things from dean than he did when he was 22.

of course, LS!Sam is giddy and smiling softly and wants to hold his little baby face between his hands because he can tell ES!Dean is trying so hard. ES!Dean adores being doted on, as much as it's confusing and strange, because it makes him feel wanted!

you said it--ES!Dean LOVES caring for people! it's how he expresses his love and devotion and intention! and being unable to fully reciprocate this attention from LS!Sam would break his little ES heart!

he can't understand why LS!Sam sometimes needs to leave to regulate (and a small, frantic, base part of him panics bc the last time sam needed "space," dean didn't hear from him for two years). dean's not good at giving space, lol. he wants to be needed! he needs it! he loves it!

by the way, i ADORE the way you wrote this. your insight!! your talent!! mwah!!!

YOU GET IT!

-lizzy