#im also testing post-scheduling lol

[bob-no-escape-ask]

Happy 1 Year to the No Escape AU!!

Expect something else today....

Something like thiiiiis

[benevolentindigo]

"Heya there pal! Got anything of interest with ya?"

"Maybe spare a wallet or two?"

EVENT: GREED TAKEOVER

Greed will be taking over this acc for idk how long lol

Minor winter event:

Will be snowing until the end of march

(Read below for more info :3/original greeting)

"Hello, visitors. It's... Nice to be able to commune here..."

"I hope that all of you are nicer this time around..."

//Pfp by @whilvlc :D

Fear Parody account run by @brokerplushsg / @9blueflame9 :D

Hai gang, Blueflame here, but y'all can call me Blue for short. I'm currently 17 so ya, I am a minor (so shoo, weird adult accounts) Uhhhh this is my first time roleplaying on tumblr so don't mind me if I make mistakes 😭 djdhdjdhdkdhdhjdhdhd (But def not my first time rping in general)

Shoutout to @fearfulpurple for inspiration to start this account lol (Go check their parody too :D)

Also if y'all curious no I don't have a schedule for posting, I just do whenever I wanna. And if I am taking particular long to answer a certain question, its probably because im drawing it lol-

If u wish to contact me, Dms are always open so feel free to pop by. :D Also I have discord and I'm most active there so if u want it, just dm me. :3

My favourite post I've made so far:

"To deny my existence, is to accept death."

- Fear

Also ig imma put some mostly obvious boundaries here too because like I wanna keep this as a safe space-

No NSFW (Self explanitory)

No political stuff/troubling real world stuff (Here is not the right place for such things)

Don't be too mean/rude (like a little is fine for the sake of rp but like don't take it too far)

Don't be weird in the bad way (Dont be too freaky with fear or just do stuff that makes people uncomfortable in general)

Roleplay info

◤━━━━━━━━━━━━━━◥

Anything associated with Roleplay is in chat font.

Anything associated with Fear is Purple.

Anything associated with a Phobia is Pink.

Anything associated with players/NPCs/people in general is rainbow.

Anything associated with narration is white.

Other characters not specified here may have their own unique colored text.

"Spoken dialogue is in quotations."

*Actions start and ends with asterisks and are in italics*

//OOC have double slashes before the message.

//OORP have double slashes before the message, and is in normal font.

◣━━━━━━━━━━━━━━◢

Headcanons

General info:

Their MBTI personality type is ISFP-T, also known as the Turbulent Adventurer. (Ngl I'm surprised when I got these results when I did the test in character but eh it surprising fits)

Their Toastology is Galic Butter Toast. (I did it for the funnies)

They are surprisingly proficient with the guzheng if given one.

They have mixed feelings for Kikuo's songs. A few they find comfort in (Like Song of the Night and Astral Travel), many they find disturbing (Like Dust Dust Curse and Love me, Love me, Love me), and some they have conflicting feelings about. (Like Let's go to Heaven and Welcome to the Star Inn.)

Since they are a manifestation of an abstract concept, it does not associate with any gender nor does it have any preference in pronouns because frankly, they do not care.

Despite not associating with any gender, they are slightly leaning more towards being feminine presenting, but it can depend on who they are interacting with.

Nobody can agree on what their voice truely sounds like, as everyone hears it a little differently, but generally, they are soft spoken, only loud when scared or pissed off.

Technically, they could speak in any language, but they prefer English and Japanese.

Despite being the embodiment of fear, they have certain things that they are personally more afraid of, like bees, thunder and most of all, death. (And Hatred too)

When feeling threatened or just angry in general, they would growl, it sounding very similar to the rustling of leaves.

When they scream, it sounds similar to that of a Banshee. Very loud and ear piercing.

When startled, they would raise their arms and open up their claws, somewhat similar to how red pandas react when startled.

Normally they do not really swear, but if you somehow made them VERY pissed off, they would begin swearing like a sailor.

Despite Fear being ageless due to being an abstract concept, it still can be considered the "oldest" of the vices as they were developed as a survival adaptation in the very, very, distant past, about 500 million years ago. This also explains their more, primordial and tree like appearance, representing security and uncertainty at the same time.

Their anon account is @anonymous-hyacinth :D (for the sake of rp pls act like ya don't know who they are until revealed)

Abilities/Biology:

They are similar to Shinboku, Leshy, dryads (more specifically a hamadryad), and Banshees.

They are connected to the Fear Forest as it's their domain, and they are one with all the trees. Thus they have the powers and abilities to manipulate and change the forest at will.

They are connected to each tree in the Fear Forest through the root system, kinda like IRL trees.

They are able to feel and sense through the trees due to their connections. Therefore if one tree were to get damaged, or even chopped down, Fear would feel the pain too.

Fear and the trees of the Fear Forest function a little more like purple sulfur bacterias living in deep caves rather than actual plants, having roots that sink deep into the depths of the dreamscape to gather minerals like memories and thoughts to keep growing.

They "eat" food (burgers, colas, apples, etc) with their roots, bringing it into the ground and breaking it up into smaller, more soluble pieces with their roots, or just straight up absorb it if it's already like a drink.

They have the ability to extend and retract their roots, as well as partially extend it above ground. (As shown in their Shockwave attack.)

Fear barely moves from their position, but if they really need too, they would need to retract their roots fully, before dragging their body along the ground with their arms, moving in a similar way to stick insects. They can be surprisingly fast if need be, but that doesn't change the fact it's very uncomfortable for them to be dragging around their body like that.

Their "torso" and "leg" are slightly flexible, but not to the point where they could "sit". At that point it's the equivalent of breaking their spine.

It's "Tree form" is their true form, they just shapeshift into their more humanoid one when interacting with others or engaging in combat.

In their "Tree form", they are able to have a better connection with the forest, making it easier to manipulate and change the environment of their domain.

Normally, they sleep in their "Tree form", unless suddenly knocked unconscious like using the Comatose ball.

Fear has a velvety texture around their main body, with their limbs feeling more bark like. The tuffs of "leaves" sticking out from the side of their body feel especially soft.

When put under extreme stress, the "fuzz" on their body would fall off. It does not make them look that visually different, except the tuffs on the side of their body are bare twigs, but now all of their body would have the bark like texture.

Depending on who they are talking too, they can mimic the voice of others that said person knows about. Most of the time, they use this ability to remind or comfort. However when needed, they can use it to threaten.

Having connections with animals due to being an essential survival instinct, they are able to communicate with them with ease.

Despite usually being soft, their voice can be quite powerful, as when they Screech like using Total Dismay, they can temporarily paralyse those they target.

Phobias are born from the sap of the trees in the Fear forest, and it's technically their blood too.

When stressed, the roots of the trees can excrete their sap, and thus Fear can use it to summon Phobias.

When Phobias use Rebirth, what is left of them is usually quite sticky, and what falls onto the ground usually gets absorbed back into the trees, ready to spring out again if needed to defend Fear.

Aside from Rebirth, Phobias can also bite and latch on as attacks unlike ingame.

Phobias generally act like slimes behaviour wise. Very curious. Have quite an appetite too.

Aside from general behaviour and appearance, there might be slight deviations between each phobia depending on what they represent. (Like Ophidiophobia acting and appearing slightly more snake like in apperance and behaviour.)

Fear of course knows all of their phobias and knows how to take care of each one.

Being naturally intuitive and observant of the world, they have a special insight and connection to every other embodiment. Thats how they know of the true nature of Hatred and how Greed and Solitude had been defeated before them.

Being an abstract concept, they, along with all the other residents in Dreamworld cannot be truly "killed", even when they are, they would some way eventually be rebirthed. Still doesn't change the fact that it's still a very unpleasant experience, especially for Fear, and they themselves really hate being "killed off" for many, various reasons.

If for some reason, Fear dies, the sturdiest tree in the Fear forest, would slowly become the new "Fear", kind of like how the alpha male clownfish chages and takes the place of a dominant female when the female dies off. (It's still the same Fear, just slightly different body)

When needing to revive, if there are no available trees in the Fear forest, like all are burned to the ground or chopped into stumps, new saplings would grow out from the stumps/soil from underground roots and grow into new trees, and depending on the damage, recovery might take weeks, months or maybe even a year.

To truly get rid of fear, not only must all the trees in the fear forest needs to be cut down, but all of their roots must be rid as well, which is definitely very tedious due to the amount of it as well as them branching far and deep into the crevices of the mind, it's etched into our behaviour after all. Even if a single centimeter of root remained, it can and will eventually grow back the entire forest.

Relationships:

They are generally netural towards most entities in Dream World.

They find Greed annoying sometimes.

They are friends with Solitude, even somewhat considering them like a sibling.

They are genuinely afraid of Hatred, and would avoid it as much as they could.

They hate Hatred as much as they fear it, so despite their fear, if they see others getting hurt by it, they would throw hands at it. (Probably also #1 Hatred hater)

Fear, Greed and Solitude barely see face to face, as there is not really much reason to meet up. And even if they do, they would meet up at Fear's domain due to their mobility issues.

Out of the trio, Fear knows every other member the most, as well as being the member of the trio that knows about Hatred the most aside from that one missing member.

They genuinely look out for players, despite being afraid of them sometimes.

They treat Phobias as their pets and adores them greatly if they so happen to summon one.

Design guide

Stylisation:

This is how I do the effect for the pics lol, just posting this here for reference for myself or if u want, u can take inspiration or use it with credit :D (Done in Ibis paint btw)

I might change it in the future tho-

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

hey! so i hope this isn’t too creepy/nosey, but im a medical student and i was reading your possible fibromyalgia post and have a couple ideas lol. full important disclaimer that im only partly into my studies and im currently in the hypochondriac phase and also your summary was amazing but a real doc would ask way more questions, so please consult with an actual doc and take everything i say with a grain of salt! but like your symptoms aren’t nothing so i would def encourage finding a doc that you trust to do a proper exam and run some tests. also im operating under the assumption that you’re under 50 lol, bc if you’re over 50ish that’s a whole diff list of possible diagnoses.

so the thirst thing you’re talking about is often called polydipsia and is commonly associated with diabetes insipidus. that’s not the normal diabetes you think about, but happens when your body can’t regulate fluids in your body properly. id think of this if you’re also peeing a lot lol. your doc would have to do some kidney tests for that, which wouldn’t be part of the blood panel you mentioned. i’m a little skeptical that it’s hypokalemia bc that would’ve showed up on your blood test results. it could be transient electrolyte imbalances when you exercise so have one of those electrolyte packets when you exercise lol, bc it never hurts to try the easy solutions first, but chronic low potassium should’ve shown up? tho eating sweet potatoes has never hurt.

other things it could be is a lower motor neuron problem bc you mentioned twitches and muscle weakness which is typical for those. i def can’t say more without tests, but look into/get your doc to look into myasthenia gravis or LEMS and see if either of those fit. i think it’s possible bc these often also start with face/upper body symptoms, but would need way more questions/tests to know. it’s unlikely but could also be a glycogen storage disease called McArdle disease bc you describe a second wind thing when you exercise along with exercise intolerance. that’s super rare tho so it’s unlikely unless someone in your family has it/has similar symptoms.

also look into autoimmune stuff like rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, and sjögrens disease. i have way less useful info on that bc we haven’t gotten to it in class yet lol, but sjögrens looks promising bc you often get dry mouth with it, and it often goes along with rheumatoid arthritis which could explain the joint stuff possibly.

it’s also totally possible this is fibromyalgia, but i would be cautious diagnosing it bc it often comes with fatigue and cognitive stuff which you didn’t mention. it’s also more of a pain thing, and doesn’t include your twitches/dry mouth. it’s def possible, and it was def something i thought of when i saw your symptoms, but personally i would want to rule out other stuff first bc fibromyalgia is pretty vague and often a diagnosis of exclusion when other things don’t fit.

sorry for overwhelming you!! i just saw your post and was like hmmm those symptoms sound like Something. again take my advice with a big grain of salt, but i do really think it’s worth asking your doc about it and getting tests done, bc even if there aren’t cures there are def treatments to help with a bunch of this stuff. it doesn’t sound urgent, but at least from your post your symptoms don’t sound like run of the mill aches and pains. hope you figure stuff out!!

The problem with 'muscles don't work right ouchy and I am also tired' is that it's a symptom for Absolutely Everything That Can Be Wrong With The Body. Is it cancer? Is it a terrible diet and sleep schedule? Who knows!

The doctor ran a diabetes test with the blood panel and it came up negative, but I don't know if that checks for weird kinds of diabetes. (Diabetes does not run in my family until we get very old.) That test was memorable because I have stupid fragile veins that freak out and collapse at the mere sight of a needle so I had to get stabbed nine times, they didn't manage to get the middle reading at all, and in the end they resorted to just stabbing my thumb with one of those diabetes home blood test thingies and manually squeezing my blood out into a tube drop by drop.

I looked up polydipsia and I don't think I have that. I think I just prefer my mouth to be wetter than my salival glands want it to be. 🤷‍♀️I think most of my problems are probably not related to any rare chronic disease, but just run-of-the-mill autism making it hard to look after myself or properly notice and process my physical condition and adapt accordingly. I don't eat enough fresh foods because it's hard to plan with the very short timeframe to prepare and eat them in. I'm uncoordinated and damage my body a lot through overwork or using muscles incorrectly because autism makes it hard to keep track of those things. My mouth feels dry and my skin feels itchy and my muscles feel sore because that's what being autistic feels like. My sleep schedule is garbage because my executive function is garbage and even once I do manage to get myself into the bed I can't just "go to sleep", I pass out when I'm ready to pass out.

I'm not saying it's impossible for anything else to be going on, but I think the known factor is the simplest explanation here. It's 2:30pm and I've been putting off breakfast for five hours. Every time I go into the kitchen I get distracted by housework instead. I am very hungry. This is not behaviour that is conducive to a well-functioning body.

[utahlive]

Schedule Update !!

Hey guys! SO sorry for my absence. There's been... a lot going on. I'm here to give you the basic schedule for this blog for December and January coming up!

Currently I'm going through finals, and then I've got something else that will keep me busy for the rest of December and the first half of January.

I will also be unable to sell merch for a while, so the shop will be closing on December 18th until further notice! So if you want a sticker, now's your chance!!

Highlighted in blue (December 21-24th) are likely update days, meaning there's a 50/50 chance I'll get something out. I will do my best, but I will certainly post something on Dec 25th as a little Christmas present from me to you xox

As I said I will be busy for most of January and I'm not sure what my wifi situation will be, but I will have my tablet with me and where there's a will there's a way. That being said, I should be settled by January 22nd and updating regularly again, although updates may no longer be daily (lol... lmao, even)

Thank you so much everybody for sticking with me ^_^ I've gotten a few worried asks and I wanted to thank you guys and just let you know im alive lmao (its close tho... finals are testing me).

I'll also be posting a little Q&A to answer a few asks that have been building up (will be posting this tomorrow or the day after) so if you have any quests for me or the blog (ooc) pls go ahead and send them!

Thank you all & see you soon <3

[tengritexas]

Candle Light Meditation: The Peculiar Treatment for Insomnia, Irregular Sleep Patterns, and ADHD

Hi everyone! Today Im writing about a new meditation trick Ive been testing out and Ill be sharing how to do it if youre interested.

Why I chose to do it

While I may like to do old man things, sitting at home and watching candle lights werent really my idea of a good time. However in the past few weeks Ive had really big issues maintaining a healthy sleep pattern and Ive always struggled with ADHD and getting school work done. I was told by a buddy of mine about mindfulness meditation and that has helped my adhd in the past so I figured this was worth a go!

Candle Light Meditation Craze

If you go to google or youtube youll certainly find all kinds of gurus and spiritualists suggesting this meditation will "decalcify your pinal gland" which would be something impacting most of us around the age 18-30 depending on diets and things like that

Here is the issue THERE IS NO RESEARCH TO SUGGEST THIS PRACTICE DECALCIFIES YOUR PENIAL GLAND. So to say if that happens or not is not my place. Im a dude who posts bangers on the internet, not a neuro scientist.

What it did do

Despite the research not being there. I can tell you in the few days of doing it I have noticed my focus has sharply improved. My fatigue isnt so bad either. My sleep schedule hasnt improved to much yet but hey! Im a college student Im busy chatting and making friends (doing essays lol).

I believe some of these symptoms are associated with the pinal gland but again, I have no idea. All I can tell you is I do eat frozen foods often and this did help. I dont have a CT scanner in my room so beyond that I have no idea lol.

How to do candle light meditation

Grab a candle, light it and turn off as many lights to get the room as dark as you can. Try to use a candle with a still flame and turn off fans aswell.

Try to focus on the most solid part of the flame for a few seconds up till 3 minutes. You ideally want to do this until you feel a fuzzy feeling in your head.

Turn away from the candle and close your eyes, you should see the imprint of the flame, stare at that for as long as you can until it goes away.

Try to do repeat process 3 times a day (in one setting) for 5 days. Usually by 5 days you should begin to feel a strange tiredness in your mind. This is what your looking for. You are overloading that part of the brain because its not really being used. Much like trying to run for the first time in a few months.

The end result

Around day 5 you should find yourself being able to focus more! Ive also heard some people report it helps them with creative writing aswell but I cant attest to that.

Let me know what you guys think! Hope it helps :>

[projecto2-game]

DevLog 2 - The Devining

well. it only took 3 months. but here is our new devlog! or however you call it... We did write a whole devlog for early march, but with school and work taking up most of our schedule, we did not post it, and most of our progress fell to the sands of time.

Snail (@snailmusic) -

Yeah I didn't do nearly as much as freep, so most of those changes will be down there. part of the reason though is that ive been doing a lot of work on my music (haha yes self promo) so if you want to check that out it'd be great! (most of yall are just from my acc so you probably alr know) (my current style of music is probably not representative of O2's audio style or vibe, still working towards that)

The main thing I did was improve trenchbroom (level editor)/qodot/godot interop, which can bring us closer to building some levels (and who knows, a little alpha test in the future ;)). It was actually realllyyyy annoying due to a lack of documentation for qodot 4 (and also ill admit it, a bit of my stupidity) so there was a bug that I couldn't fix for a long time but eventually it was fixed and now it works great!

I also started looking more into the art style of the game, and I'm even learning a bit of how to draw (thanks to my friends! I wouldn't be able to learn like at all without them lol).

^ guy on a cube

oh yeah speaking of outside help im getting this is (very slightly) now bigger than us two! the others aren't doing too much we can note right now (one doesnt have a tumblr acc either) but when their contributions come more into play we'll include them here.

See ya next time!

Freep (@freepdryer) -

Back in march, i spent a lot of time working on the AI, getting it to move… and run away, sort of. But more of that will come later. 

Lots of these last week or so has been on the character controller, and reinventing the wheel to introduce a state machine and get a lot cleaner code so its easier to revisit if we ever had to.

Im proud of the work that we've done so far, as we come close to a prototype with *Gameplay* 

New Things

Changed the look of the enemy slightly to remove the “amongus factor”

Rewrote the entire script for nav pathing

New enemy prototype can now feel pain / has a health pool that can be depleted using bullets from the player

Added a new line of sight for the enemy to check whether or not the player is in the area to follow

Added the ability for the enemy to hide - WIP - enemy can hide but isnt very good at it. Kinda like a child who turns away while hiding in the corner. 

Enemy can also detect when youre in a certain range, I will be adding more flags later on for detection (when the player shoots, sneezes, or explodes on accident)

New testing map!

New areas for target practice, line of sight testing, following and hiding

New player character controller!

Rewrote the entire script for the inclusion of State machines

This was painful.

Added 6(?) new states for several movement states

Added animations for 

Walking

Running

Jumping

Crouching

Fixed the stair problem

Whats next?

Continue work on enemy AI - finish hiding, add roaming, add attacking

Dunno? 

Fix the stair problem again, but more?

Weapons!

The end?

Thanks for coming to our devlog! We will be back hopefully very soon!

[darkrpfinders]

Looking For A Melon Writer for a Canon x OC EXTREMELY Dark Dead Dove Beastars Plot

Hello there! As I sit here languishing in Beastars Hell once more, waiting (im)patiently for the second half of the Final Season, I find myself craving a very DIFFERENT kind of plot pairing. The dynamic I'm looking for is something akin to Jared Leto's Joker and Harley Quinn but with themes of cannibalism, implied suicidal scenarios, extreme violence, sexual violence, emotional abuse, blood play, and many other overall icky themes one might associate with toxic love between two EXTREMELY fucked up individuals. Seriously, this is NOT a plot for the faint of heart, shit's gonna get REAL over here. I know the overall universe of Beastars (especially the anime version) manages to skirt over the darkest parts of their lore and keep things relatively light, but we're diving head-first into aaaaall that inky black on this one, guys. CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED!!!

Now … assuming I haven't already scared you off, let's get down to the important stuff:

I'm a 39 year old nerd looking for a partner that's at least 21+.

Melon is definitely 21+ and so is my OC who I would be writing against him.

I'm in Eastern Standard timezone, but I'm up at odd hours with a bizarre sleep schedule so I'm sure our availabilities will inevitably cross over. LOL

I'm an advanced lit. writer who prefers 3rd person looking for someone whose writing style is similar. The goal is anywhere between 2 paragraphs to the text limit with a solid grasp on spelling/grammar. Just gimme somethin' juicy and content-filled enough to work with and I'm a happy Yeen.

I'm able to post several times a day, if you enable me (and I'm ALWAYS down for tons of OOC chatter!). Seriously--DO not test me, I am a menace. ❤️

So that we don't waste each other's time and ensure that we're compatible writers, I would love it if you gimme a small one-paragraph writing sample when you DM me to make sure our styles will jive well, and I'll happily do the same!

Please be familiar with both the anime AND the manga versions of Beastars! Also be aware that because I am a filthy uncultured American, I always use the names/terms used in the English Dub ("Yahya" instead of "Yafya" and "Black Market" instead of "Back Alley Market", for example).

There is also a Google Doc for the OC I'll be using in this RP plot, which contains reference art created from scratch by me (no AI nonsense in THIS house). I'll gladly share it once you DM me (since I can't include it here)!

To summarize, she is a female binturong police officer choosing to "go rogue" by going undercover in order to investigate the Black Market up close and personal. Her moral code, sense of self, and sanity will all be ruthlessly tested as she gets more and more involved with the newest leader of the Shishigumi in order to maintain her cover. How far will she go to solve a missing animal case before the line between justice and obsession is crossed too far…?

If she and this ad have tickled your fancy in any way, you know what to do. Send me a DM!

.

[prpfz]

Looking For A Melon Writer for a Canon x OC EXTREMELY Dark Dead Dove Beastars Plot

Hello there! As I sit here languishing in Beastars Hell once more, waiting (im)patiently for the second half of the Final Season, I find myself craving a very DIFFERENT kind of plot pairing. The dynamic I'm looking for is something akin to Jared Leto's Joker and Harley Quinn but with themes of cannibalism, implied suicidal scenarios, extreme violence, sexual violence, emotional abuse, blood play, and many other overall icky themes one might associate with toxic love between two EXTREMELY fucked up individuals. Seriously, this is NOT a plot for the faint of heart, shit's gonna get REAL over here. I know the overall universe of Beastars (especially the anime version) manages to skirt over the darkest parts of their lore and keep things relatively light, but we're diving head-first into aaaaall that inky black on this one, guys. CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED!!!

Now … assuming I haven't already scared you off, let's get down to the important stuff:

I'm a 39 year old nerd looking for a partner that's at least 21+.

Melon is definitely 21+ and so is my OC who I would be writing against him.

I'm in Eastern Standard timezone, but I'm up at odd hours with a bizarre sleep schedule so I'm sure our availabilities will inevitably cross over. LOL

I'm an advanced lit. writer who prefers 3rd person looking for someone whose writing style is similar. The goal is anywhere between 2 paragraphs to the text limit with a solid grasp on spelling/grammar. Just gimme somethin' juicy and content-filled enough to work with and I'm a happy Yeen.

I'm able to post several times a day, if you enable me (and I'm ALWAYS down for tons of OOC chatter!). Seriously--DO not test me, I am a menace. ❤️

So that we don't waste each other's time and ensure that we're compatible writers, I would love it if you gimme a small one-paragraph writing sample when you DM me to make sure our styles will jive well, and I'll happily do the same!

Please be familiar with both the anime AND the manga versions of Beastars! Also be aware that because I am a filthy uncultured American, I always use the names/terms used in the English Dub ("Yahya" instead of "Yafya" and "Black Market" instead of "Back Alley Market", for example).

There is also a Google Doc for the OC I'll be using in this RP plot, which contains reference art created from scratch by me (no AI nonsense in THIS house). I'll gladly share it once you DM me (since I can't include it here)!

To summarize, she is a female binturong police officer choosing to "go rogue" by going undercover in order to investigate the Black Market up close and personal. Her moral code, sense of self, and sanity will all be ruthlessly tested as she gets more and more involved with the newest leader of the Shishigumi in order to maintain her cover. How far will she go to solve a missing animal case before the line between justice and obsession is crossed too far…?

If she and this ad have tickled your fancy in any way, you know what to do. Send me a DM!

like or dm

[ursogoldenn]

october 1, 2024 dear diary...

OK SO AS IM WRITING THIS IM LOWKEY FREAKING OUT because noelle's account just vanished... shes back thank goodness but it was so scary and i remembered when that happened to me too and just ahfjdhfa. but ofc i have to write my little diary entry lol. today was nice, bc of the alternating schedule it was a short day so i got out at 2! its all classes i like too, history leadership and spanish!! long story short but my friend and i also made an instagram account for toodles like from mickey mouse lmao. ill see what we post on it but if we dont relate it to our real life or anything or where we live then i'll share the account here lol. OK ALSO ITS A BILLION DEGREES IM UPSET >:(( but yeah it was overall a good day!! i made sure to pay extra attention when doing chem notes for homework and i think i understand which is really good :) i also have a math test tomorrow... not ideal but i really like this unit. then ofc i also have photo and chem tomorrow and those are the classes i have with my crush!! 🤭🤭 i saw her walking out of school today and i canttt shes so pretty omg. ooo also ive also decided to try to learn to draw!! i found a refrence and im working on a tig fanart hehehehe. but yeah today was good, i got both the wordle and the connections (i always do them lol) and yeah. it was fun!!!

looking forward to: english class tomorrow proud of myself for: focusing and understanding chem! song stuck in my head: AMERICAN WEDDING BY FRANK OCEAN ON REPEAT

[heleizition]

u cannot just present me with gold right when i have to go to bed. i have a sleep schedule to keep to! for health! and sanity! and brain! i love them so much. ur ocs. i love twin characters, so many dynamics and all are good. the art is also just -wants to squeeze- affectionately. who were they in their past lives? is josephines 'i failwd to protec' a thing that also happened in past life? bunny person very good. love how expressive the ears can get. also cute. i think i watched the first ep of d.gray man way way back?? or the first few? i have very little memory of it but a vague plan to get back to that sometime. angel love, angel life, angel delight. the concept of god being a baby of a big species of gods is -chefs kiss- love it. sleep tiiiime, sleep well when u do byeeeee

HEHEHEHE >:3 im evil .

i looooove siblings dynamics........... so so much ........... both chronos & nath and then nell & belly weren't even twins at first it just Happened lmao... chronos & nath were almost the same character in two different stories and i couldnt decide who to keep lmao and then belly was supposed to be nell's little sister he ran from after she saw him kill their father (to protect her) (nell is an idiot) but . it jst happened. anyway

SO THEIR PAST LIVES.

The group of oc is composed of many i havent introduced yet but the major ones are here i think except my Bad Guy. so keep in mind the story is cringy and bad lmao but i still like it to this day...

post apocalyptic earth where humans live under domes bc the outside is too toxic + technology evolved so now cyborgs exist + a while back some government doctors & scientists were working in a secret lab to implants animal genes w humans to make hybrids & something about genetic preservation whatever whatever. anyway.

eve is the protagonist. she's the only daughter of head doctor of that hybrid lab. it exploded 20 years ago which cause people inside that specific dome to mutate into hybrids (people woke up to agonizing pain bc their body was breaking and morphing and it wasn't made for that. josephine was one of those people ! she was a wolf hybrid :3)

we follow eve and her then group of friends until for some reasons (<==== guy who does not remember what that plot point was) the dome had to be evacuated. something about a deadly virus ? ofc as always the rich people got away first until the dome got closed off completely <3 . eve meets several people including chronos (human guy, future bf, hes a simp) maria & arthur (yes i will draw them at some point OTL) and they stick together to survive as the inside of the dome is becoming a battleground. doesn't help that part of the reason the dome was closed off so quick was that ~mafia~ (idk how else to call it, its not rly mafia tho oTL) boss stanislas was in here and has always escaped the government's assassination attemps thus far.

SO this virus slowly contaminate everyone but its slow and rots you from inside. terrible deadly soulcrushing. + stanislas is using every means he has to try to control the city & find a way out. except ex cop and also ex girlfriend jo (josephine) is here to basically kill him lol (he broke her trust & her heart and also killed a lot of people and revenge is her whole life). josephine at first is a lone wolf (haha) until she gets very badly injuried and ends up in a small alley where eve & her friends took quarters. they get her inside and find a way to keep her alive. also at this point the group has also met gabriel ! (bunny guy! he has a tragic past and i love him. hes my mary sue) and stephan ! (his not yet boyfriend who also has a tragic past and that jo feels very guilty about). gabriel used to be a test subject in the hybrid lab. he and eve used to know each other :] they are best friends now.

at the same time nath (who was supposed to be dead) shows up like hiiiiiiiiiiiii btw im here (hes one of stan's agent but when he was supposed to die he actually survived and got turned into a cyborg with special modification in his brain which makes him obey. but he did not Forget and he will fight what stan makes him do <3)

SO um after they all meet its basically just. a fight to survive and also moments where they're like. oh we're gonna die here. lets party so hard.

stan also realises he doesn't rly have a way out and dedicates himself to ending his and jo's fight for good this time which also put eve's group in danger since jo . stuck around . there are casualties which is why she feels she failed them..................

anyway . there are more stuff but its rly all over the place soobssss im sowwyyyy

LOOOVE D.gray man . one of my first and favorite manga if u ever get the chance to pick it up for a bit longer to see if u enjoy it ... yeah .....

[fenderguitar]

hey sorry if this is weird/overstepping but ive followed you for years and i see you post a lot about being unhappy about your career situation and my honest advice is to go to cosmetology night classes or into academia admin.

the right path would depend on you and your skill set but the pros of cosmetology would be different options, flexibility, and pay in the long run. cons would be upfront investment in both money and time, less chance of benefits, and its not for everyone.

pros/cons of academic admin would be no upfront investment, regular scheduling and more likely benefits but low pay and not a lot of growth, though its still possible to learn and transfer skills. there are lots of research assistant type positions at colleges that dont require experience and ones at k-12 schools dont usually require a degree but are less common to find online. im sure theres positions at community colleges too.

another path is also government employment like parking/transit attendant, bus driver, state funded healthcare admin and i dont know a lot about that path but i see women post on tiktok that they love it because of the benefits, ease, and job stability though im sure it has its cons like low pay, challenging to apply (must find and apply through their website and not job boards), and drug testing.

again the right path would depend on you and your skillset. feel free to ignore this and best of luck to you 💙

Thank you, friend. 🫶🏿 I'm mostly upset that I kinda got myself into a hole where affording a car is sort of impossible. And I'm still trapped in LA, so I NEED one. But I'm trying my hardest lol. In my part of town there's like only 2 cosmetology schools in reasonable commuting distance, but there's a lot of phlebotomy/pharmacy tech/medical assistant programs that are affordable and close to home. So I'll just bite the bullet. I also need to stop being so afraid of social media and promote my yoga/fitness that way. Because I've been on the same online yoga certification course for 3 years now 😬. Actually teaching yoga in person won't pay much as a newbie, so having an online presence will greatly help me. And I can get a personal trainer certification for about $200. Once again, thanks. I greatly appreciate kind messages like this. 💗

[nerice]

tobira schedule math

some of the kanji exercises are pre-solved from uni days but it's rly just the first few units, shoutout to past me for being lazy. the actual content overlaps to some degree with the other kanji book i just finished so these should not take too long

most of the exercises in the main book are also filled alrdy so i will just use them as reading/speaking exercises. quick. also bc a lot of them are meant to be done with a partner

this leaves the main reading text which i will fully translate as i did in uni bc it will be fun to compare results. and a second smaller reading text at the end

as well as the chonky grammar section which i will continue to transpose into my own grammar library

not doing anything with the vocab lists i will just continue to note down whatever i have to look up in texts

so there is [kanji part], [text1+translation], [grammar], [exercise recaps], [text2]

therefore let's continue as with the prev books, make kanji+grammar one day, translation day 2, and day 3 misc exercise recap and bonus text (though i might just slot the bonus text with the kanji+grammar and skip the exercise rereads since im also doing shadowing anyway) there is also a chance i will get bored of translating the main text bc i vividly rmbr how much fucking time this took in uni and just stick to rereading, which wld end with a constellation that's more like [grammar comp + main text] and [kanji + bonus text] which now that i say it does feel better. as much as i love translating it's a much more fun project to do anime or books. tobira has 15 units total so that layout would put me at ca. 1 month to get thru it which feels like an insane pace and deeply funny since doing it over one semester in uni nearly took me out lmao but there all this was also new to me. separate option to add a third [free] day where i either take a break or catch up on one of the segments in case i ran out of steam (there's a lot of grammar....) though i guess i can evaluate that as i go. three days per unit wld mean i'd finish tobira somewhere around early april.

after that my option are [intermediate kanji vol 1+2] but also the n3 books of which i have [vocab, reading, kanji, grammar] (never bought the listening exercises book lol) which i cld do in similar two day chunk constellations. or post-tobira i take an intermission to read some of my japanese novels while doing the intermediate kanji on the side.... it kind of depends on if intermediate kanji slaps me harder than the n3 kanji book which i go thru first. though an intermission probably wldnt be bad.... guess i will take the test at the beginning of intermediate kanji when i hit that crossroad and see where i stand. also hope to god i was smart enough not to fill out the exercises in the n3 books itself dmsdkm

anwy. honestly as much as i wna burn thru the two day loop schedule i think i will go with the three day one and make the third day a mandatory art focus day whenever i can. bc i am dying

[ii-zi]

No depressing vents/terrible medical updates tonight!!! I'm actually in a v good mood jsjsjs

[risaonda]

bro I fucking love my new manager

[princegaytea]

I'm having a (somewhat mild, thankfully) brain fog ish day and words are becoming difficult to type so!! I'm going to go ajead and say goodnight now! Goodnight!! Hope you're all well :)

[watchmegetobsessed]

THE SUN WILL RISE (part 2)

A/N: im so glad you guys liked the first part! i hope i'll be able to live up to your expectations with the rest! also, pls don't ask about my alleged posting schedule... i don't have one lol, im just going with the flow

PAIRING: College!Long-hair!Harry X Reader

WORD COUNT: 5.1k

SERIES MASTERPOST | SUPPORT ME!

“So how is living with Harry going?” Iris asks, drumming on her text book, avoiding to finish her ready. The two of you are sitting at a picnic table near the library. Originally, you planned to go there, but it’s such a beautiful day. Iris is great at not studying, that’s why you usually prefer to be in the library, because there she can’t really talk. You need all the extra study time, law is hard enough on its own, especially for you since you don’t actually want to study it.

“Um… It’s fine,” you mumble, highlighting a line without looking up, but you notice how you stiffen up at his name.

It’s been three weeks of living together with Harry and three weeks since he made it clear the two of you will never be friends. You allowed yourself one night of self pity before you told yourself that it’s not worth it. If Harry doesn’t want to be your friend, then that’s his loss. You don’t need him, you’re fine with knowing someone doesn’t like you. It happens, right?

Living together has been actually neutral. Both of you have been living according to what you discussed that night. Harry doesn’t queue at the bathroom and he lets you know when he leaves or has arrived back, even if it’s just with a knock on your door. One weekend he slept at someone else’s on Saturday and he left a note for you saying that he would be back late Sunday. 

You constantly hear him when he is at home, you haven’t been able to not listen to him. His footsteps, the way he makes dinner or the soft music he listens to when he is studying. All in all, he is a good roommate. Not messy, or at least not outside his room, he cleans up the kitchen after he cooks, you haven’t found hair in the sink after he shaved and he is quiet, makes sure his music is never too loud. You can’t complain about him.

But he is still as cold as an ice-cube towards you.

“Just fine? Where are the dirty details? How many girls has he brought up?” Iris pushes some more and you give up, dropping your pen to your textbook.

“None. He is a good roommate, we have rules,” you simply say.

“No girls?” she raises her eyebrows. “I always imagined him to be a huge womanizer.”

“Yeah, me too,” you agree. You haven’t really paid any thought to it, but Iris is right, you’ve always thought that Harry is popular amongst women and he uses it to the fullest, but now that you think about it, you never actually saw him with anyone. No making out at parties and you don’t remember him leaving early from a party to hook up with someone.

“Maybe he is just testing the waters. One night, you’ll wake up to moaning,” she chuckles and you frown at the thought.

“I hope not, I’m not interested in hearing that.”

“You never thought about how he is in bed?”

“What?” you cough at the unexpected question.

“Come on, he is obviously good looking, don’t tell me you haven’t thought about having sex with him.”

Of course you did. But you’re not gonna just admit it.

“Umm…” you breathe out nervously and Iris continues.

“The tattoos, the rings, the long hair, I bet he is good in bed, a guy like him just simply can’t suck looking like that.”

“Iris, are you trying to tell me something? You might be having a crush on Harry?” you ask, arching an eyebrow.

“Crush? No,” she chuckles. “I’m just not blind. But actually, I used to think he was into you.”

“Me? What made you think that?” you ask, unable to hide your shock. 

On the outside, it’s not that obvious that Harry doesn’t like you. Your other friends just think the two of you are not that close, they don’t feel the passive hatred you do radiating from Harry. But to think that he was ever into you? That’s unexpected for sure. 

“I remember when we first met him, at that party. He kind of always positioned himself close to you, I caught him staring at you a lot of times and he looked like he was very interested in you, just didn’t know how to approach you. I saw that look on his face a few more times, but not lately though,” she shrugs as you process her words.

Harry? Interested in you? He made it clear he is everything but interested, but could it have been the situation in the past? You remember the first time the two of you met, you found him good looking, but you didn’t see what Iris did, mostly because you were trying not to be a creep and stare at him. And now you find out that all along it was him who was ogling you? That doesn’t add up, not with how he acts towards you these days.

“I don’t think there was anything behind that,” you say and Iris just shrugs before turning back to her book, successfully planting the seed of something unknown into your mind.

You were expecting a call from your parents, but you still jump when your phone starts ringing one afternoon when you’re in the living room studying. Your dad’s name appears on the screen and you reach for the phone taking a deep breath.

“Hi dad,” you greet him, answering the call. 

“So you are bringing your partner to the wedding?” he says without as much as saying hello. Judging from the voices coming from around him he is working. It took him almost a month to call you, that’s how much it concerns him what’s going on with you.

“Well, yes. I’m bringing someone,” you say. Even though he is not in the room with you physically, you straighten your back as if he could see you and tell you off for having a bad posture. 

“I hope he is not some random hook up, it’s your sister’s wedding, not a fraternity party.”

You grit your teeth at the belittling voice he is using, like you’re just a child. He is treating your sister’s wedding like it’s the queen’s coronation, he wants everything to be perfect down to the smallest bit, including your plus one and he’s afraid you might bring someone who wouldn’t fit into the picture.

Well, he will surely have an opinion about Harry’s tattoos and long hair, so choosing him is kind of your way of rebelling against his expectations.

“He is not a hookup,” you quietly answer. 

“Great, bring him home for Christmas so we can approve of him,” he says, your eyes widening and before you could even protest he ends the call.

Holy shit. Your father is expecting you to bring Harry home for Christmas, but there is no way you can convince Harry to do that, but if you show up without him… You can already see the disappointment in his eyes, your throat is closing up and your eyes are watering even though it’s just the end of September. 

“Hey, I’m leaving–Uh, you alright?” Harry asks from the door and you jump at his voice, you didn’t realize he came out of his room. Breathing heavily you rub your eyes and clear your throat before looking at him.

“Yeah, I’m fine. What were you saying?” you ask, knowing well you look anything but fine and Harry is not stupid. But he just stares back at you with that unreadable look on his face before speaking up again.

“I’m leaving,” he repeats and you nod.

“Okay. Bye,” you say, busying you with your textbooks again, feeling him staring at you from the door for a couple more moments before he turns around and leaves. 

Your lips are wobbling as you hear him open the front door and then shut it. You weren’t expecting him to sit beside you and comfort you, but the way he just left without another word was just beyond. He keeps proving again and again that he really does not want to be around you.

Yet you still feel a kind of pull towards him that you can’t explain. 

You try to focus on studying for a while, but it’s practically useless, you remember nothing from what you’ve been reading all along.

Huffing angrily you pack up everything in the livingroom and decide to just order something to eat and call it a night. But when you walk past Harry’s door you find yourself stopping and playing with the idea to peek inside. You even reach for the doorknob, but then you let your hand fall. You will not violate his privacy like this, no matter how he acts.

You ditch the idea to get food, just take a speedy shower and go to bed only to lie in bed awake, thinking about everything that’s been stressing out. Hours go by and you’re still up when you hear the front door open and close, footsteps echo in the hallway as Harry is walking around, doing his business. You hear him take a quick shower, then a short trip to the kitchen and when you think he is about to lock himself up in his room, it sounds like he has stopped at your door. 

You sit up in your bed, trying to listen to his movements outside, but you hear none, which makes you think he is standing at your door. Just when you’re about to check what’s happening, you hear him walk away, out to the kitchen and then into his room, the door finally closing. He really was standing at your door, but why? Maybe he was just checking something on his phone and happened to stop there on his way as he typed, or he just saw something on the floor.

After the way he just left earlier, there’s no way he wanted to check in on you. He doesn’t care about you.

You lie back and force your eyes closed, slowly drifting to sleep finally.

When you wake up in the morning, you feel like a truck has hit you, your sleep was anything but relaxing last night, woke up several times and you had some weird dreams that left an uneasy feeling in your chest. Rubbing your eyes you head out into the kitchen to make a coffee for yourself, hoping it would give you enough energy to leave for your morning class you’d rather skip, but if your dad ever finds out you skipped class because you were tired, he would disown you right on the spot, so it’s not an option for you. 

Your eyelids feel like deadweight as you keep blinking the sleep away, walking into the kitchen. You’re heading to the espresso machine in the corner you bought last year to fuel your caffeine obsession, but then you notice something on the counter.

There’s a big takeaway cup from your favorite café that’s just one street away, your name written on the side of it in pretty cursive letters. You eye it with suspicion as you walk closer to inspect it, there’s no note, no nothing, and you definitely did not leave it there. Taking the lid off you inhale the scent of your favorite coffee beans, you can tell it’s what you always order whenever you have enough time to pop in for a drink.

You definitely did not buy it, but that only leaves one person who could have gotten it for you.

Walking out into the hallway you see that Harry’s sneakers and keys are gone, so he has already left for school. It’s hard to believe that he went out of his way, woke up early and got you your favorite coffee before leaving to his class, when he’s made it clear you’ll never be friends. 

This is something friends do, which Harry doesn’t want to be.

Pushing the initial shock into the back of your mind you take the coffee and finish it while getting ready for the day, you keep the gesture in mind, surely planning on asking him about it later.

Around lunch time you meet up with Vivian and Tanner at the cafeteria and just as you settle at an empty table Harry walks in, joining the three of you. It’s the first time you see him since yesterday when he obviously saw you having a breakdown following your call from your dad. He sits next to you like everything is going as normal, he mostly engages in the conversation when Tanner asks him, but otherwise, he is silent. 

When Vivian and Tanner get into a bit of a fight on their own, you finally decide to bring up the surprise coffee this morning.

“Hey, um… thanks for the coffee,” you softly say so only he can hear you, though your friends are way too busy arguing with each other. Harry glances at you just for a split second before his gaze returns to his plate and he nods.

“No problem,” he hums.

You have so many more questions for him. Why did he bring it to you? How does he know it’s your favorite? But you don’t want to push your luck and just enjoy this moment of positivity that’s the first one in your relationship with Harry… probably ever. 

This one little gesture showed you that there might be hope, that maybe you and Harry could actually be friendly towards each other. You just had to be very careful.

Following the coffee incident it seems like the wall Harry has built between you and him has shattered and light is not peeking through the holes. The day after he asked if you needed anything from the grocery store. Whenever he left he didn’t just throw a bye at you, he usually told you when he was coming back. He washed the plate you once left in the sink because you were in a hurry and when you forgot to wash a shirt you wanted to wear he offered to wash it with his load. Tiny little gestures that were slowly but surely melting the ice. 

In return you’ve been trying to be super nice to him as well. Every time you order takeout you always ask him if he wants anything, so far he took up on the offer once, but that’s something too. You’ve returned the coffee favor too, you learned how he likes his, black, no sugar, no milk, and you’ve brewed him a cup a few times when you woke up before him, leaving it on the counter with a post-it note to let him know it’s for him. 

It no longer feels like you’re living with a ghost and he only had to see you cry once to be nicer. You’ll take it as it is.

On the first Friday of October Iris convinces you to go to a party. You’ve been dodging the invitations for a while, saying that you need to study, but she only accepts this excuse a handful of times before she refuses to let you rot at home for another evening. 

So when you’re done with your classes that day, you squeeze in a quick study session before getting ready for the party. Harry arrives home when you walk out of the bathroom in your fluffy bathrobe and your hair up in a towel turban. 

“You’re going to the party tonight?” he asks, walking towards his room, meeting you halfway as you head to yours.

“Yeah. You’re coming too?”

“Yes. Want to Uber there? Tanner said he would pick me up, but I know he wouldn’t drive if it wasn’t for taking me there.”

“Sure,” you nod, your mood already brightened from even the suggestion. 

“Cool. Let me know when you’re ready,” he simply says before disappearing in his room.

Just that interaction alone made you want to go to the party a hundred times more. This could be the end of the “we are not friends” era, when Harry finally ditches the cold act towards you and maybe, just maybe, you might even ask him about Christmas. You still haven’t figured out how you’re gonna work things out with your dad’s request to bring Harry home for Christmas, if he could join you even just for one day you’d be saved. But you know you would have to butter him up for that. 

Even though you live in the same apartment, sharing a car feels way more intimate for some reason. Maybe because he offered to do it, he willingly let you share the ride with him when your living situation was more of a must situation. He needed a place to stay at and you had one. 

You pay for the ride and as always, Harry asks if you want him to Venmo you his part.

“No need,” you shake your head. Something flickered through his face, but you couldn’t catch it before it was gone. 

Walking into the party with Harry by your side might make the two of you appear like friends. Your gaze meets several girl’s envious stares and you’re not even touching Harry in any way. The conversation you had with Iris pops up in your head and you wonder if he has ever hooked up with any of the girls that are throwing deadly glares in your way. It really is unusual that you have never really seen Harry with girls, not a girlfriend or a hookup when he obviously has the looks. 

“Want to ride home together too?” Harry asks, leaning closer to your ear as you make your way inside and a shiver runs down your spine as his hot breath hits the shell of your ear.

“Sure,” you nod, already feeling dizzy and you haven’t even had a drink.

The almost friendly act you’ve been having with Harry has been affecting you way more than you’d like to admit and you’re definitely not used to having him so close to you.

You part ways soon, joining Iris and Vivian while he mingles in the crowd and finds his own little group. It’s just another frat party, nothing special and you nurse the same drink for hours, not quite in the mood to get drunk. Sometime around eleven Vivian disappears with Tanner, as always, so you and Iris decide to watch the intense beerpong game that’s taking place outside. You spot Harry on the other side, standing with some guy you’ve seen him with several times before, a red solo cup in his hand and he has a lazy smile stretched across his face as his dull eyes are following the game. He has definitely had a few drinks already, more than you, that’s for sure.

God, he looks so good, his hair pushed back with a pair of sunglasses, his tattoo covered arm flexing as he gestures around while speaking, he shouldn’t look this good, not when he’s acted like a dick for almost two years. 

“Y/N, hi!” you hear someone behind you, a gentle tap on your shoulder and you realize that you’ve been staring at Harry. Turning around you find Curtis, you had Roman law with him in your first year, you sat next to each other for two semesters and even studied together for the exam. You always joked around that Roman law brings people together the most. 

“Curt, hi! Long time no see!” you grin as you share a quick hug. Curtis is now a year behind you, because he spent last year in France on an exchange program and he couldn’t get all of his credits accepted, so he has to do a bunch of sophomore classes now.

“Ah, you know, I have a lot of catching up to do now that I’m back,” he chuckles.

The two of you engage in a conversation about his year in Paris and what he missed while he was away. You listen to his stories with envy as he tells you the countless times he and his mates lounged on the grass at the Eiffel Tower or when he was drinking fine wine on a balcony that looked over a busy street. He also mentions a guy he met, Henri, and judging from the blush on his cheeks they did more than just eating croissants in bed. 

The beerpong game is now long forgotten, you go back inside with Curt and join him and his friends in the kitchen, they are sophomores so they ask you about classes and professors they can expect for their next year.

Hours pass by and you barely even notice, only snap out of the conversation when Vivian and Tanner appear, looking for you. 

“Everything alright?” you ask, seeing the concern on their faces.

“We have a bit of a situation,” Vivian frowns. “Harry has had one too many drinks.”

“Oh, is he okay?” 

“Fine, just shitfaced,” Tanner sighs. “But we should take him home. Unfortunately, he keeps saying that he needs to leave with you, because he promised.”

Your heart skips a beat. Harry is thinking about you when he is drunk out of his mind, even though it was a simple agreement he could totally ignore, but it seems like he took it way more seriously than you thought.

“Okay, where is he?” you breathe out nodding. 

Your friends lead you out to the backyard and straight to a lounge chair where you see Harry sitting sideways, he is leaning onto his knees, his head hanging low so his hair hides his face like a curtain.

“Hey man, brought you Y/N, can we go now?” Tanner squeezes his shoulder to catch his attention and he lifts his head, his glassy eyes almost immediately finding you. 

“Y/N! There’s my roommate!” his face lights up and he grabs your hand, staring up at you, surprising you with the physical touch. The warmth of his hold is setting your skin on fire, he has never touched you for more than just half a second when he brushed past you for example, so having his hand holding yours is a whole new experience. 

“Tanner told me I have to leave,” he slurs, still holding onto your hand as he looks around. “But I told him I’m only leaving with you.”

“That’s nice of you, Harry,” you smile. “I’m here now, we can go home.”

He nods and attempts to stand up from the lounge chair, but he falls back before making a second attempt which finally succeeds. He curls an arm around your shoulders and puts part of his weight on you, Tanner seeing this moves to be Harry’s support, but you just shake your head.

“It’s fine, I got him,” you say, while pulling out your phone and calling an Uber quickly.

“I’ll pay for this ride, I swear,” Harry groans from beside you when he sees the app open on your phone. 

“No need.”

“Fucking hell, Y/N. You are so annoying!” he huffs, but he is quick to explain himself. “Not in a bad way, I mean,” he adds, his words melting together, his accent now a lot heavier than usually. “I didn’t mean to be a dick,” he says and you have a feeling there was more behind his words.

“It’s alright,” you tell him. 

It takes some time and extra help from Tanner to get him out of the party. The Uber arrives just on time and it’s a struggle to put Harry into the car, but you finally manage.

“I’ll take it from here, you guys just enjoy the rest of the night,” you tell Tanner and Vivian.

“Are you sure? You’ll need to get him upstairs too,” Vivian points it out. 

“I can do it. Thanks for the help,” you smile at them before getting in the car too.

“Did I mess up your night?” Harry sighs, his head falling against the back of the seat, eyes barely open as the driver heads to the address you gave him.

“No, I was getting tired anyway,” you tell him.

“But you were with that guy… Are you dating him?” he asks and you give him a confused look, though he probably can’t see it in the dark car and through his blurry vision. 

“What?”

“That guy you started talking to at the… beerpong table. You seemed to be close,” he sighs, closing his eyes fully.

“Harry, please don’t fall asleep, I can’t carry you up the stairs. And are you talking about Curtis?” you poke him, stopping him from falling asleep. It seems like drunk Harry might be your key to find out more about him, so you are not letting this chance go to waste.

“Curtis, whatever his name is. You’re dating him? Thought you needed a boyfriend,” he snorts, finding himself hilarious as you’re just staring at him, shocked at how chatty he is.

“I’m not dating Curtis and I do need a boyfriend, which I have for the wedding. You.”

“So… you need me?” he asks, his green irises appearing glassy, but the way they bore right into your soul leaves you breathless. 

“I do,” you answer quietly with a nod. The passing street lights dance across his face as he stares at you for one, two, three minutes before his eyes fall closed and he stays quiet for the rest of the ride.

When you arrive at your building you shake him awake gently and he groans, but climbs out of the car with just a little bit of help. He leans onto you as you make your way up, one arm over your shoulders as you take each step, one after the other, careful not to trip. When you finally make it to your apartment, Harry leans against the wall while you unlock the door, but you can feel his lazy gaze over you, his eyes traveling up and down your body in such a shameless way like never before.

“Come on, you need to rest,” you puff out some air, pretending like you didn’t notice a thing as you help him walk inside, shutting the door behind you. 

“Bathroom,” he breathes out.

“You need to use the bathroom? Are you feeling sick?” you ask, hoping he won’t puke right in the hallway.

“No… I wanna shower,” he slurs and you nod with a sigh. He really does smell, he could use some soap, but you have no idea if he can do it on his own. 

Reaching the bathroom Harry starts stripping out of his clothes as if you weren’t even there, he pulls his shirt over his head revealing his toned back and you can’t help but stare before you snap out of your trance. 

“O-Okay, you think y-you can manage on your own?” you ask, clearing your throat. Harry just hums and when he starts unbuttoning his pants you decide it’s your sign to leave. 

You close the bathroom door with a hammering heart and stay there in the hallway, listening to him shuffle around until the water starts running. Walking into your room you grab a makeup wipe and start taking your mascara off while listening closely to what’s happening in the bathroom, in case Harry might fall or something, but you hear nothing else but the running water. 

Fifteen minutes go by, then twenty and twenty-five until the water finally stops. Sitting on the edge of your bed you’re waiting for him to come out so you can make sure he made it to his bed, but the door doesn’t open. He’s been in there for almost an hour when you decide it’s been enough. 

Knocking softly on the door you wait for a response, but it’s just dead silence. You knock again and call out his name.

“Harry? Are you alright?”

No response. Chewing on your bottom lip your hand hovers over the doorknob before you decide to go inside. You crack the door open, the warm, misty air that was stuck in there after his shower escapes past you. Stepping inside you find him sitting on the toilet, the lid closed and luckily he managed to at least put on a pair of boxers, but he is leant against the sink next to him, arms crossed over his chest, snoring softly.

You tell yourself now is not the time to ogle his thighs and the tiger tattoo you’ve only caught tiny glimpses of until now, the way his biceps are stretched underneath the inked skin, his hair curling in damp strands. God, he looks so good, even when he is drunk out of his mind.

“Harry, you need to go to bed,” you softly shake him awake, his eyes pop open and he stirs as he looks around, taking in his surroundings. 

“Y/N?” he asks, looking at you through glassy eyes.

“Yeah. Come on, let’s get you to bed.”

He just nods and lets you help him up from the toilet before making his way to his bedroom, walking in a zig-zag. You pull the comforter off and help him get comfortable on the mattress before pulling the covers over him.

Returning to the bathroom you grab his clothes from the floor and bring it back to his room. You slip his phone out of his pants’ pocket and put it on the charger on his nightstand. You’re convinced he is fast asleep already, so when his hand grabs your wrist you almost scream at the unexpected move.

“Do you need anything?” you ask in a whisper as your eyes meet his tired gaze, his hand still wrapped around your wrist. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he answers, ignoring your question and you just know he is not talking about his drunken state and how you had to bring him home like a kid. It’s beyond that.

“Okay,” is all you manage to say. His hold lets go of your wrist and your breath hitches in your throat when his hand gently cups your cheek, his thumb caressing the soft skin underneath your eye. It’s dark in the room, but you catch him staring at your lips, the intensity of the moment making you shudder. 

Is he going to kiss you now? Would you let him? And do you want him to? The way you don’t move back proves that you’d definitely let him, the thought of feeling his lips against yours has your blood rushing through your veins. 

“Y/N, you’re…” he breathes out, as if he is lost in his own thoughts, but you ache for him to finish, to hear what he wanted to say. 

But it never happens. He presses his lips together, swallowing hard before his hand drops from your cheek and just like that, the moment is gone. He is clearly still drunk, his eyes close and you bet a moment later he’s already asleep. 

With a disappointed sigh you walk out of his room and get ready to go to bed.

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