#im dumping it here and changing it LMAOOO

[deforcstation]

I'LL BE YOURS

✩₊˚.⋆☾ LYS *ੈ✩‧₊˚

asian, intp, psychology student, sagittarius, no. 1 michaelia shipper, kubz scouts and kevin langue enthusiast, rohan's loyal fan, i live for toxic + push-pull dynamics, ann liang is my goat, olivia rodrigo <3, i love listening to music, always open to new moots

free palestine | ao3 | the naturals masterlist | dni | making every album michaelia masterlist

maybe the universe will be kind for once, and when i reach up, the stars will fall into my palms.

i am not jessica chen, ann liang

AND YOU WILL BE MINE !

[sqvishii]

My personal headcanon is that the way Fae asks for their lover's hand in marriage is by weaving them a flower ring and proposing to them, they either cast a spell to not wilt or to change the flower ring regularly

So imagine the shock when you jokingly proposing to any of the diansomia boys with a flower ring

(This applies to qny of them, but i had silver in mind)

(Also just dumping my tjoughts here)

THIS IS SO CUTE I ☹☹

fuck ir this is so cutr im doing all of them

♡

• sebek zigvolt

both of you were walking in the garden, while he was talking about how great malleus is, you busied yourself with a flower ring

it was a bit simple to make, you wondered if your half fae boyfriend would like your little creation

while he was still talking, you went in front of him and presented him the ring, making him stop for a moment.

his reaction was priceless, just a blank stare with blown eyes once he realized what it was LMAOOO 😭

"HUMAN! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, PROPOSING TO ME WHILE WE ARE STILL SCHOOLING?!"

"sebek what."

turns out you didn't know a thing about fae stuff and all that, he calmed down and accepted the ring

.. silver saw him staring at the wall blankly with tears running down his eyes before looking out the window, revealing you messing around with ace

he was a bit sulky once he found out you didn't know a thing about fae culture and actually thought you were proposing 😭🙏

keeps the ring on, you can see his flustered face whenever he walks around and lilia is teasing him about it

♡

• silver vanrouge

as usual, silver was asleep in the garden. typical

while bored out of your mind, you decided to make a flower ring for your sleepy boyfriend so you can surprise it with him once he wakes up.

with your fingers delicately working on the flower and stickig it onto the ring, you felt silver wrapping his arms around you

his head resting on your shoulders as he asked what you were doing while he was still half asleep, his eyes widened a bit once seeing the object in your hands as you showed it to him.

"[name], are you sure you want to marry me? im not an ideal husband, but i can try to provide and such. if we were to have kids then-"

"silver wtf are you on about."

oh. yeah, you didn't know anything about fae customs.

he was taught about fae culture from lilia lolz, he embarrassingly hid his face from you as you put the ring on his gloved hand.

he wears it daily and often asks lilia to cast a spell on it whenever he sees it withering.

♡

• lilia vanrouge

while you were out somewhere, probably at sams shop, you saw a pretty looking flower ring.

thinking of lilia and how he would rather enjoy the small gift you bought for him, you purchased the said items alongside a few more.

walking back to the campus, you could only be fnaf jumpscared by lilia who popped up in front of you, upside down, like a bat.

recovering from your surprise, you quickly boop him on his nose, makig him laugh before standing up like an actual human being.

sitting down on the ground, you showed him everything you purchased. from antiques to books.

once you showed him the flower ring, his smile turned into a straight line as he stared at you.

it wouldn't be long until he smiled sadly, knowing you didn't know a thing that you just did.

"are you trying to propose? haha, in fae culture, we usually propose through flower rings."

"oh.. then, consider this as my promise to marry you!"

.. just like meleanor.

he could only laugh as he puts it on, did the shine in his eyes get larger?

he wears it wherever he goes, he hopes the day of your actual proposal is soon.

♡

• malleus draconia

you were staying in your dorm before you heard the knock, like, the knock. your boyfriend is here to take you out on a nightly stroll!!

grabbing your jacket, knowing it's a rather chilly night, you noticed the flower ring your made yesterday for him. bringing it with you, you opened the doors and saw him patiently waiting.

holding your hand in his, the moon shining its light down on the pavement the both of you stepped on, the both of you either talked or kept on walking in comfortable silence.

the next moment you brought on a new topic, you pulled out the ring, making him stop taking a few steps forward as he stood there in shock.

it wouldnt be long until fireflies decorated the area near you two, giving it a melodramatic scene as you stood there, utterly confused.

"i accept, man of child."

"malleus what do you mean 😦"

turns out you knew nothing, not even a shred of fae culture.

the fireflies would be gone and it would start raining LMAOOO

he thought you were serious, well, you were; about the whole ring thing, but he didn't think that,,,, ☹

very well then, he shall be content with the trinkets he has now.

having the ring on him, he gets all giddy now whenever he looks at it and never takes it off.

[mxwerbenmanjensen]

personal TADC character analysis

uh warning this is long lol

autism time let’s go (/not in a negative way i have autism) stretches hands * I’ll go in order of the character episodes cause why not we have it (see below) i’ll put periods but it will just be to make it more readable not to be intimidating lolll

btw im completely open to interpretations of characters changing throughout the series this is just for fun

Gooseworx has said this series is mostly focused on characters rather than lore, and from what we know, i truly believe it. I don’t think any of the current characters will abstract because of this.

(I put a version of this in the glitch inn discord theory thing so if you recognize it that’s why)

Pomni: we already know her deal pretty well, as we’ve already had her episode. uuuh if anyone’s going to do something important lore wise it will probably be her as she’s the main character but can’t rlly tell what that may be. to review ep 2 though she’s an outcast who has felt like she was nothing and is a logical thinker.

(Kinger and Zooble will there their focus episode but i put it in order of who was revealed to be the ep 3 focus first)

Zooble: From their design (the entire motif is it can be changed at any time) and the fact she doesn’t know his gender, we’re dealing with some pretty clear identity issues. Friends with Gangle seems cool excited for next episode to learn more about them!

Kinger: One of the most interesting characters so far. I feel like we will get to learn more about abstraction though Queenie, the X-ed out door that looks like a female version of him. If i had to guess, since Gooseworx said they were not siblings, they were a couple. (Also judging by his age and the fact he could have been married, he may have been a father yeowch imagine that) I can see the common theory of the insect collection implying he was a coder before getting trapped, but i could also see him being some random guy who just likes bugs lol. He seems like really sweet guy behind his constant anxiety and disassociating.

 Gangle: (My faveorite human rn) Her mask design can be interpreted in a lot of ways but it’s clear that the happy mask isn’t her real personality. My take on it rn is she doesn’t wana bother people with her stuff so she pretends she’s happy? She seems easily embarrassed and def has self esteem lower than the last circle of hell. What’s interesting though is she’s willing to stand up for herself from time to time, even though she’s easily shot down after.

Ragatha: Waaaay too nice for her own good. Also probably has self esteem lower than the last circle of hell and bases her self worth of others approval.  Though she’s been here the second longest, she seems a lot more normal than Kinger. Makes me question how long apart their introductions have been. Probably copes via escapism.

Jax: I can see why everyone is very interested in him cause me too. He seems like the only fourth wall breaky guy (unless you count Caine cause of his intro at the pilot)which is rlly interesting how did he figure out more than everyone else? what’s with the keys? i have no clue lmao. He’s an asshole who makes the best of his situation by torturing everyone else. At the end of the day though, he’s a human and was sad at kaufmo’s abstraction but he probably isolates himself so it would probably be the same for anyone

but waAitTt a moment

that’s 6 humans but Gooseworx said we would look into 7 (cause of the “other” part) in her twitter post talking about the character focus timeline so we know our fav character won’t be left behind ⁉️⁉️⁉️ I hear you not asking well my dear hypothetical person, who better to fill the 7th character than Caine?

Why you did not ask? Too bad i’m info dumping. First, he’s the main antagonist and alongside Pomni, the commercial face (or lack their of haha teeth and eye joke) of the series. he’s an important character and loved by many. (and hated equally if not more aside the point lmaooo)

Yes, gooseworx can lie about stuff but I think she’s smarter than to lead this heavy into Caine depth/ angst territory if there wasn’t going to be anything On top of that, the entire purpose of the timeline post was so we know our faveorite characters weren’t getting treated poorly. It’s unlike for a character based show to suddenly drop such a major character for some random other guy were introduced to later or smth. i mean cmon there’s three episodes after all the humans at least one of them has to be focused on my boy.

Caine: I believe he really does have good intentions and wants to help but just does not understand people at all. This means he’s like an anxiety disorder; it wants to help, solves some issues but creates 500 more. Judging by the Tumblr post, loneliness may play a big part in what’s to come? I’ve always had a feeling his front was extremely fake and his VA saying “breaks keyfable” (an act that pretends it’s true) supports that theory. Episode two gives some insecurity vibes when Zooble didn’t want to go on the adventure. I find that pretty interesting cause he didn’t care at all if people went on the gloink adventure or not. Maybe he puts some adventures over others and he could have been proud of the candy adventure cause more time and care was put into it and he made a new AI. Why did he blue screen? i feel like he could have some blockages on what he can say built in though im not sure why he was blocked then if he even was. one of the biggest questions i have ab him currently tbh. what’s with him grabbing his cane like that in ep 2? if i had to guess simply be nervous = that? His VA also knows some depth to him even though his focus episode is likely going to be at least one of the last 3 episodes, which they have not gotten to recording yet. You know what this means Caine angst solidarity club? Sad Caine so more fan angst appetizers before the main cannon feast let’s friccin go‼️‼️⁉️⁉️

(try to guess my fav impossible /j)

[blythings]

MESS IT UP | TOM BLYTH

— pairing: tom blyth x filmmaker!oc (fem.) — summary: hope that you're sleeping well knowing i'm not. — tags: exes-to-lovers, named oc, attempts at humour, mentions of other celebrities. —notes: can you tell from this instalment that i miss nicholas galitzine's social media presence? lol anyway i'm still getting used to this format so forgive me if it's a bit clumsy! lmk what you think of this chapter 💞 also, comment/send me a msg if you'd like to be added to the tag list!!

← series masterlist | send me an ask →

liked by rachelzegler, balladofsongbirds and others tomblyth HG film dump. Just some of the many people I love who breathed life into this movie. @/songbirdsandsnakes opens tomorrow 🤍 lionsgateuk this film has already become my entire personality rachelzegler i love you sweetheart user White boy of the month 🤩🤩 user pls go blonde again im so serious tom please TOM PLEASE user New crush unlocked 🤚🏻

liked by taylorzakharperez, treaclychild and others alexisnakamura Past few weeks ⏯️ mari.arai i think nick should change his profile pic on raya to that so people can know what they're getting into ↪ user NICHOLAS GALITZINE IS ON RAYA???!!!! ↪ taylorzakharperez @/mari.arai so real ↪ alexisnakamura @/taylorzakharperez @/mari.arai guys stop bullying pookie under my post user YOUR BACK??! I’M GOING INSANE 😩 user hey (with rizz) user can you announce your next movie queen i'm due for a personality change user i need to be in the alexis nakamura cinematic universe saur bad

liked by user, user and others tomblythfans old 📸 of tom with director and screenwriter alexis nakamura! user LMAO TOM IN THE LAST PANEL user oh tomblythfans dug for gold here ↪ user fr they must've combed through the internet bc tom and alexis deleted all traces of each other from their socials user does anyone actually know the timeline i'm so curious ↪ user it's none of our business ↪ user so? they're in the public eye and it's natural for fans to be curious ↪ user just because they're in the public eye it doesn't make it right to speculate ↪ user LMAOO get off ur high horse. nothing wrong w celebrity gossip

liked by filmupdatesmain, kaiagerber and others alexisnakamura missing the rockbridge fam 💋🌈 user fumbled the bag so bad by breaking up with tom right before he becomes a big deal in hollywood lol ↪ user she's literally a famous director? bye ↪ user making a mean comment still gives her clout bro user someone @ me when deuxmoi finally posts the tea btwn her and tom ↪ user i did a deep dive last night and i reckon she dumped him while he was filming tbosas ↪ user LMAOOO that wouldn't surprise me, she's way too close to her male actors it's actually kinda problematic ↪ user i think tom is better off honestly, alexis is talented and her movies are good but she seems like a lot of work ↪ user fr i feel like sometimes she puts on a persona to seem more relatable

[koulakoukoula2003]

IM LOOKING FOR DADDY ERWIN FUCKING YN ON THE OFFICE'S DESK WITH BREEDING KINK, SIZE KINK FOR TOO LONG HELP ME PLEASE

LMAOOO anon, I gotchu. No one writes good smut anymore (also, so sorry it took so long to respond) erwin smith x reader, size kink, belly bulge, breeding kink, mild dubcon, praise kink, overstimulation, pure filth honestly this could apply for many characters

With your back against the surface of his desk, his arms grasping your shoulders, keeping you resistant against his thrusts, he rearranged your insides with every thrust, every violent snap of his hips against yours. Your legs propped on top of his shoulders, he was reaching so deep, you could've sworn you felt him in your stomach.

Fat cockhead hit against your cervix. You screamed and stood down and took it like a good little girl. He grunted in your neck when he felt another orgasm washing over you. Your poor cunt felt raw and overused. Your slick covered his cock and it was almost embarrassing how wet the sounds between your bodies were.

He didn't let up. He fucked you through your orgasm and went on like he was determined to make you cum again right after. You didn't even know how long he had been fucking you like this. He was using you. He wasn't even concerned about whether you could take it or not.

"Ah- p- please, daddy, no more, too much, pl's-" another cry erupted from your wet, bitten lips, interrupting you when his hand reached down for your clit, rubbing fast wet circles.

His eyes focused on your small body, struggling to take him no matter how many times he'd fucked you. His cock could be seen, shifting beneath your belly with every rough thrust. He pressed his hand down on your soft abdomen, to feel himself thrusting beneath. You let out another shout. Tears prickled at the corners of your pretty eyes as he folded your body in two, reaching so impossibly deep.

"Such a good girl..." he leaned down to lick your saliva off the corners of your lips, before sucking your lower lip like a man starved "...taking daddy's cock so fucking well."

He caught your hand, brought it to your belly, forcing you to feel him shifting beneath the soft skin.

"Right here, sweetheart," he grunted against your lips, slamming deep and staying there for a moment to let you feel him. "I'm gonna come right here... fill you up so full... you won't be able to do anything without me..." he pulled all the way out only to thrust back in. Your lips parted in a silent cry, your eyes shut tight. Pain and bliss twisted on your face so beautifully "...gonna give me a son, won't you? And then another..." thrust "...and another..." thrust "and another..." he set the same relentless pace all over. "Surely, my precious little princess can handle that, can't she?"

It felt so fucking good. You could see his cock disappearing inside of you, rearranging your body to fit him just perfectly. You were all his to fuck and breed and use, and corrupt, and abuse. There was no changing that, there was no escape, and you didn't want any.

"Y- Yes, daddy, anything for you... anything... please... pl's- I- I'm gonna- AH-!"

He slammed a hand on top of your lips, shushing you while he fucked you like a doll. Massive hips slammed against yours so loudly and wetly, and your tears stained his hand that covered half your face. More tears wetted the papers beneath your head. More than a few piles had gone dropping on the floor, making a mess. Your pretty body arched so perfectly, leading his cock to slam against that perfect spot over and over.

"Take it... fucking take it- fuck- take it like a good girl..."

You came so hard, pussy clamped around his cock so tight, he let out a breathy groan, dumping a load of cum inside your belly. He watched your perfect little body spasm and tremble. He watched the creamy mixture of his cum and yours forming a ring around his cock. His cum came dripping on his cock as he pulled out only to push it back in with the tip.

"Good fucking girl... my perfect little girl... mine... all mine..."

He guided your trembling legs off his shoulders and around his waist. He gathered your limp body in his arms and picked you off the desk with such ease.

He kissed you messy and sweet. Bodies joined, cock still hard and deep inside you as he carried you to his bedroom.

Next thing you knew, you were lying down and he was fucking you all over again.

[mrsmiagreer]

EA SPOILERS

BRACHIUM 🥺🥺🥺🥺

IS HE OKAY?????

Ik he’s so tired :(

“I am a failure” No baby no

“But i know you hear me”

This is literally so sad i’m crumpling

IS HE CRYING

“Please Mother, Please Release Me” BAWLING

IS HE BEING FREED?!

HE WILL NOT FAIL ‼️‼️‼️‼️👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

This is crazy cinematic

SUNSHINE IS SAVED

WHY IS AARONS VOICE SO DEEP😭😭😭

I literally almost didn’t know who he was

Oh Smartass is here too

Awe brother hug moment

YAYYYYYYY SUNSHINE IS SAFE

“I’m so sorry” 🥺

All I can imagine is Elliott and that damn comfort beanie that we all imagine he has on💀

BRACHIUM AND AARON MEET ?!

WHY IS AARONS VOICE SO DEEP OMG😭😭

It’s throwing me off like crazy who tf is that?! ERIN???

BLAKE MENTION BLAKE MENTION

I know what he did is bad but DADDY I LOVE HIM

Is he gonna die ☹️

“you? specifically?” LMAOO WHY DOESNT AARON BELIEVE HIM?!

I’m sorry but his story is so long :\

“Good. Give them back their fucking lives”😭

AARON CALM DOWN

Memory modification 😲

“I just got my brother back”

So he’s gonna change the circumstances of their memories not wipe them completely

Okay aaron and brachium going back and forth like this —

Omg aaron is literally gonna sit here and convince them that their trauma is worth keeping😭

I get it’s the right thing to do morally but like wtf if i wanna forget i will. if i don’t wanna have nightmares and have to go to therapy from being kidnapped and tortured for days then i will

IS THIS A VOTE ?!

Elliott’s voice is so cute and innocent

“PARTNER IS AN OVERSTATEMENT” LMFAO WHAT

YOURE TELLING ME THEYRE NOT EVEN DATING

“You want my body, you want my cooperation, then you let me have this. you let me have them”

I’m obsessed with Blake omg

“We will try this” YES YES YES OMG NEW BLAKE AND BESTIE CONTENT

“Hey!” OMG

IM LITERALLY FREAKING OUT

HE IS SO CUTE AND NERVOUS ABOUT TALKING TO THEM FUCK

He’s like sweating and almost crying omgggg

YOU GUYS DONT UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH IM GOING CRAZY

“We agreed to never talk about because you said if we did that you couldn’t have me in your life if that was something we talked about”

OMG HIM BEING A SEER

THIS LORE IS CRAZY

SO THEY DO KNOW HE’S A SEER

his stuttering 🥹🫶🏽

“I have to say this and i need you to listen to me when i say it…okay?”

“NO‼️” OMG IT SCARED THE FUCK OUTTA ME

He’s yelling at me guys i’m scared he’s yelling

THAT NIGHT OMG

MORE LORE THE LORE DUMP IS CRAZY

His aggression is halfway turning me on and halfway scaring me

Omg i’m about to start crying

i feel his pain so much

“I never stopped loving you” UGHH BLAKE

“You’re gonna die !”

OMG IM SCARED

He sounds on the verge of a psychotic break. Not even the verge. Just the psychotic break

“I know how crazy this sounds, I know how crazy I look”

Babes….its bad. Real bad

“Don’t speak THROUGH me” OMG THIS IS TERRIFYING

OMG WOW THIS IS INSANE THEYRE JUST SHOWING ALL OF HIS PAST TO THEM LIKE A DAMN TV SERIES

this is crazy

“That’s why I did everything”

Blake i’m so in love with you

If they kill Bestie anyway i’m literally gonna cry

The silence in between his sentences are so deafening

OMG THEYRE KISSING YES YES YES YES YES

WHAT DID THEY JUST SAY?!

“you can keep this deluded pet”

WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME LMAOOO

OMG YESSSS BLAKE GETS TO KEEP BESTIE

IM LITERALLY SHAKING‼️‼️‼️‼️

The fuck Aaron just grew up like another 10 years?!

“You tell him baby” ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️

If i was smartass at this table id literally say “ewwwwww they’re kissing !”

WAIT WAS ALL OF THAT TO SHOW THAT BRACHIUM WENT THROUGH WITH THE MODIFICATIONS?!?!?!

SCORPIUS WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE

OMG THEY DONT REMEMBER ANY OF IT

“I’m coming too” YUHHH DEMONS TEAM UP

You guys. You don’t understand how happy i am right now. All of my begs and pleads have been answered to. I just wanted to know more about Blake and Bestie and I got an amazing amount of Lore. I’m literally gonna start crying

[cowboybrunch]

top ten posts of 2024

thank u for the tags @leahnardo-da-veggie [x] @illarian-rambling [x] @tragedycoded [x] and @gioiaalbanoart [x] <3 all of ur posts are top posts in my heart

used JetBlackCode's program to sift thru my yapping

i knew it was going to be the shelter dog post. this haunts me every single day (but im glad yall agree, best relationship dynamic)

we can keep some of our darlings. as a treat. here's a deep cut for you: this was about rosalie's favorite song in botrd. and im a lying liar because it did get axed. sorry!

the results of this poll surprised me (setting first people do scare me ill stand by that)

i was hungry for info dumps and u delivered

lmaooo this post was referencing my untitled vampire story. guess what! it's still incomplete, and im still pantsing. someday ill write an outline for that one. i might even finish it if we're lucky

fun fact ! this post prompted the first anon hate i ever got. also realizing that most of these are from spring? interesting

my intro post which has changed recently. organization! dont worry, the cowboy cat is still there

i should rewatch dead boy detectives

me? musing about love? no way! never seen before!

how did a rant post make it on here! but i stand by it! cringe is dead

if u see this, thank u for hanging out with me in 2024. hugs if u want hugs, headpats if u dont want hugs, handshakes if u dont want headpats, etc. im nodding at you from across a crowded room. we're buddies, you and me

tag!! <3

@vyuntspakhkite-l-darling @autism-purgatory @writingrosesonneptune @cartoonghosts @dyrewrites

@lychhiker-writes @aintgonnatakethis @aspiring-dreamer @saturnine-saturneight @the-golden-comet

@wyked-ao3 @deanwax @astramachina @angelfevr @glassonthewall

@mysticstarlightduck @marlowethelibrarian @abiteofhoney @thecomfywriter @zackprincebooks + open if u wanna hop in :-)

[mimikyvvnz]

An ask for one of those 2 you missed: Do you have a hobby or interest you wanna rant about? I'll read it all :)

okay so um. um um. okay i. good timing cause i was cooking up a good old yap!!! honestly drawing/creating is such a big part of me like what the hell! i procrastinate watching/playing games because i prefer making stories and characters myself and ERRrrr a lot of what i make is very personal to me!!! like characters will be based off people i hold dear to me and all etc etc i even do this subconsciously and only realize who i was thinking of when i made a certain character very much later on coughs and/or my character's backstories and lives are usually related to a part of me (i will write about my ocs and all later on) (i loooove being lazy /j) so if my characters seem not so diverse im sorry!!!! this is all i know how to write and i don't want to write anything else because i might get it wrong or i don't feel passion for it oh my lord!!! my art is also so symbolic sometimes (especially with the nonexistent colors) (you guys are just colorblind. trust) (me not coloring my art is also a symbol for somethign SJDSJSDJKJjdjskds)

another thing to consider is art has been my hobby since even before i had the mental capacity to remember things!!! i'm also self-taught without any formal education on this lol so if you see me make a lot of anatomical mistakes (i hate anatomical mistakes but art is art. mistakes are mistakes. and mistakes are a part of art) erm!!! no you didnt (lol) ERM. okay im dumping art tips here too now okay TIP NUMBER ONE DO NOOOOTTT care if you make mistakes DO NNNNOOOOOOOOOt be a perfectionist with your art this type shit hurts your self esteem and ruins your motivation! art is supposed to be fun not a burden lalala. be free. be carefree and all whateverr pro tip nummber two tune your feed to give you art that has artstyles you like this is just a personal thing but i tend to copy what i see so i dont want other traits that i have to work to unlearn in my art errm! learn color theory /j (i dont know color theory i just eyeball it and i have one rule) guys please wait i made a tutorial on my color stuff somewhere pls https://www.penup.com/artwork/1697369659896622?collectionEnabled=false guys pls i made this a long time ago and my style changed a lot imm crying i had to scroll way back to my old art to find this thing i okay im done THIS IS SUCH A LONG POST I MIGHT EVEN ADD TO THIS LMAOOO

WHY DIDNT THE LINK EMBED IM SO MAD i read the tutorial again and its so badactually sorry guys i am not smart anymore

[m1ckeyb3rry]

No because the character design >>>> I also LOVE KIJA SHSHSJSHS man I miss yotd….

Also OMG CHERRY TREE PT 2 commentary after I finish replying

OOOOH omg a long series for bllk…(we all chant KARASU TABITO in the background…) but omg yeah I can only imagine the amount of research needed for hollyhock’s setting shsgshsb

Omg waittt zantetsu switch up?? Ok but I mean if you still want to write for Karasu…I’m always ready for a brainstorming thought dump session….only if you want though LOL

HOLELDHDS SHIT THE BAROU ONE??? Ok im ngl the chokehold that edits to that song have on me….idk why something about the beat and “melody” ushsjshsj also LMAOO THE WOMANIZER ONE classic Otoya edit…ok but the nagi ones are fire and I can also see why you were converted by that rin one…

Ok but if you have any especially fire Karasu ones don’t be shy…I almost never see edits of him it’s so sad

LMAOOO if you ever write that you NEED to add that line in there it’s so perfect (Karasu and Yukimiya trying to protect the girl at first is so real and so cute I can only imagine the rollercoaster ride of mishaps that would happen in this story LMAO)

LMAOOO BAROUISM SO REAL THOUGH?? Yes fortunately he’s basically locked in for the rest of the series!! Excited to see him again soon after the PxG match!! Also curious by what role he’ll play in the current epinagi match too! But omg wait nagi Barou and Karasu all together epinagi said welcome to the miraverse

Ok COMMENTARY: RAGAHHDH THAT WAS SO GOOD lowk you do a really good job of like developing stories and plots that when I read it I didn’t even feel like it was “short” or shorter than fwtkac…like just perfectly paced *chefs kiss*

Also 1) SEABIRD Y/N MENTION LMAOOOOOOO 2) omg stalker Rin was lowk so funny he really said “yeah idk what to say so I’ll just follow you silently like a creep” DHHSSHSH I also love how the roles kinda flip and Rin now has to wait for y/n…also the trees THE TREES >>>>> tree imagery and hidden messages my fav I also love awk but mature Rin like it’s still clumsy soccer nerd Rin but the development is there!!!

Another Mira banger excited for whatever’s next!!

- Karasu anon

i wouldn’t say kija is a top fav (shinah and hak are my beloveds) but i’ve seen some GORG fanart of him so i def see the vision there ☝🏻

cherry tree part two 🥹 i wanted it to be a surprise because i never mentioned working on it but LMAOO it was so funny i saw that rin edit WHILE WRITING WILLOW TREE so it was like a double whammy dose of itoshi broism that made it even worse 😭

tbh as much as there’s so many characters i want to write a long fic for it’s only the ones i DON’T like as much that i get ideas for 😭 like i got the idea for hollyhock while trying to come up with something for NAGI so we’ll see what happens and who ends up inspiring me but it’ll definitely be a surprise…honestly i think i need to pick the au first and THEN decide which character feels natural in it instead of vice versa if that makes sense

LMAO i will hold off for now but if that changes i will let you know!! i’m sure i’ll come up w something because i lowkey have no zantetsu ideas sooo…dumb characters as much as i love them are not my favs to write as love interests because i would simply never fall for a dumb guy irl so it breaks my immersion while writing somehow 😭

THE BAROU ONEEEEE it fits him so well too somehow!! hehe nagi edits are always so good because he has so many scenes in season one plus soooo many fire manga panels that editors have a LOT of material to work with!! and otoya LMAOAO he’s so goofy i love him (surprisingly not aiku though…idk why i can get behind eita but not aiku even though both are cheaters?? like looks aside ofc 😭 maybe it’s because we actively see aiku being weird in the manga whereas it’s only referenced in the egoist bible for otoya so it doesn’t feel as in your face)

OKAYYY tbh there’s not a lot of variety in karasu/otoya edits because they don’t really have any anime scenes yet but here are some i have saved!! fair warning you might’ve already seen these because like you said there’s not much out there for them…

karasu + otoya

karasu

karasu + barou 🤩🤤

you didn’t ask for him but YUKIMIYA

otoya edit using his 0.02 seconds of anime screentime

EASILY the most famous barou edit it has over one million likes and almost twelve million views so you’ve almost definitely seen it but i’m including it anyways because barou…lowkey flash warning though LOL

NO BECAUSE IT’S SO GOOD like the worst man she’s met (oliver aiku) taking her under his wing and teaching her how to be a player meanwhile karasu and yukimiya are yelling at otoya to leave this poor innocent girl alone and otoya is just like “wow…y/n has beautiful eyes…” too chaotic fr

BAROUISM FOR LIFE i’ve liked him since i first watched the show but he was typically overshadowed by me loving nagi and then later karasu so it’s only fair he gets his chance in the spotlight 🤩 omg but also the way nagi is the only hair gel free man in the miraverse top three LMAOAOA he’s holding down the fort fr 😩🙏🏻 needs to impart some wisdom to karasu and barou af

OMG YAYYY I WAS WORRIED IT WOULD BE TOO SHORT although tbh i don’t worry too much abt word count with sequels because like the main story is long enough…okay lowkey secret fact i hope i don’t keep getting a ton of pt2 requests because i love leaving stories open ended and doing a pt2 takes away from that 😩 like that’s why i don’t want to write a pt2 for white butterfly even though multiple people have hinted at wanting one LMAOAAO i just think it ended in a place where expanding it would feel like i was mansplaining to my readers almost 😭 i def think that’s a personal preference too a bit because i personally love reading open endings like they’re so good at making you think and leaving the story on your mind…tbh the impact of an open ending is UNMATCHED it doesn’t have the same vibe when the ending is like fully written out idk if that makes sense ANYWAYS rant over back to commentary!!

LMAOOOO SEABIRD Y/N MENTION FR sae finally put a ring on it ‼️ yk that was the most chaotic proposal ever too 😭 i just thought it would be funny to connect the two stories since there’s nothing rlly saying they CAN’T be connected plus since bllk did kinda vaguely and probably exist in cherry tree (y/n doesn’t go to japan until her freshman year of college so like 18 years old?? and rin would’ve just turned 19 because september birthday so it’s three years after bllk began which is why he isn’t on lockdown) it’s hilarious to imagine like rin being all emo and needing to destroy sae or he’ll die and giving these long ass dramatic monologues abt how sae is his ultimate goal meanwhile sae is just eating sandwiches on the beach with his gf

STALKER RIN MY KING i wanted to show that no matter how much more mature he is it’s still the same awkward fumbling soccer loser rin we all know and many love 😭 like bro has no clue what he’s doing he left his country with a university name, nagi’s sweatshirts, and a dream 😩🙏🏻 and somehow it worked out for him but like imagine y/n transferred or graduated early or smth HAHAA he would’ve been cooked 😰

i’m glad you liked it 😄 hehe i had fun writing it this was def one where i didn’t mind the part two it was very cutesy and enjoyable to do 😫 i have nine requests on my list that i need to finish up so it’ll be something from there ig!! not sure which req i’m going to do first 🤔 there’s a couple that are the same vibe as the isagi ones where i could def finish them in 1-2k words so i might try to get those out of the way first just so they’re out there and i feel productive!!

[maudiemoods]

HEYYYY Welcome back!

hope you enjoyed your mini break :3

I did :D! I go through these moods (haha, that's where the whole moods part in my username comes from) and I have to just disappear for a bit :)) but I'm back!! Can't stay away for too long!

[sakasakiii]

just stopping by to say that I really like your art! your style is cute and I love how you draw the Finwean family and the Valar. do you have designs for any other Silmarillion characters, like the Doriathrim, men, or dwarves?

hihi!! thank you SO much for your kind message ahh! 😭 im tickled pink to hear that you like my art and renditions of the cast of Keeping Up with the Karfinweans 😂🥰 i love that disaster family too much so admittedly i overlook 99% of the other characters in middle earth LMAOOO so thank you for asking about other designs!!

this gonna be a massive sketch dump of some of my initial ideas so... brace yourself !! here's my takes on the Doriathrim and my favourite men characters 🤗 (may be subject to change in the future)

if you notice, it ended up being mostly elves again... i have a problem and that problem is a total inability to draw facial hair?! (as evidenced in my excuse reason to have a clean shaven turin lolol)

last min edit: WAIT I DIDNT DRAW ANDRETH ueueue i knew i was missing someone *insert arthur clenched fist jpeg here*

but i didnt wanna leave without honouring the request so here is my shoddy attempt at drawing a beard thru azaghal my mans (plus elrond's family cuz i wanted to draw them for the longest time >:D)

soz this ended up being a bit longer than usual, but thank you again for the lovely ask! 🥰 i had so much fun doing it!!

[sk3tch404]

(Resurfaces like in the Milk Cat meme) I've returned- YOOOOOO CONGRATS ON COMPLETING YOUR FIRST ROUTE!!!! 💃🏼💃🏼🎉🎉

https://imgur.com/a/CjwwBix

Shit wrong link, uhhh-

https://imgur.com/a/IihtOxh

There we go :D

That is one BIIIG Milestone reached, so even if you can't complete the full game, you're definitely ready to upload a fully fledged demo👌be proud yourself, you definitely deserved it bro, and about length, I think it's a good amount, considering the short timeframe you had to work on it.

Also don't even worry about character arcs, as long as your story has Beginning/Build Up/Climax/End you're good to go 👍. Sometimes it's better when you don't have everyone's backstory explained to you ya know?

For example Michael Myers, like yeah, we saw him stabbing his sister as a kid, but we sure as hell don't know why exactly he did it and what he went through during his stay at Smith's Grove Sanitarium, yet he still managed to be one of the biggest horror icons today. (I'm strictly speaking about the OG Movie btw, idk shit about what they did to him in the sequels)

Sometimes, just some cool shit happening is enough for a story, it's not like we're expecting a full on 24 episode Anime in LN form either 🤷‍♀️ also considering that it IS a Yandere Story, having sympathy for the LIs falls a bit short, when they're probably gonna go full sicko mode on us somewhere in their routes 0_0"

Yandere: (insert sad backstory) ...and that's why I have mommy issues 😔

Darling: (chained against the wall of the Yandere's house, hasn't seen sunlight for a solid week or so) cowabummer 😐

Like don't get me wrong, it's not bad if you want to put their full backstory in the game, but it also wouldn't hurt the overall quality of their route if you didn't (also you could save time 👀)

Anyhow, I hope ya treated yourself to some fancy food and rest or smth after completing the route 😎

Also, AYO NEW LI REVEAL?? Is the fact that he's human an invitation for me to beat his ass 👀? Jkjk but at least there's a feasible chance of me winning against him, compared to Rory lmaooo

So only the Triple Threats of Christian holidays are left to be revealed rn 👀👀 (or double trouble technically, since it's just two holidays, but you did also say that Easter are twins 🤔)

-Ren'py anon

WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKK YOU DREW JAYCE???

OMG I LOVE YOU SM IM BLUSHING HEHEBUHEUHUEUHHEU

YOU HAVE MY HEART FR OMG HEHEHHEHE HE DESERVES THAT TBHHHH

PLATONICALLY KISSES AND SMOOCHES U FOR THIS LOVELY PUMPKIN JAIL SACRIFICE 🌹💋💕😘😘😍😘😍❤😁🙌

GOOD NO GRIPPERS FOR HIM. I EVEN HAD PLAYER WEAR SHOES WHEN THEY GOT NAPPED BC IM NOT ENVISIONING BARE DOGS 💀💀💀

MINI JAYCE OMGOMGOMGOMG HE LOOKS LIKE THOSE JJBA MICROORGANISMS I LOVE ITTTT

AND ITS OKAY LOL HE WEARS BAGGY JEANS BC HES TRENDY AND INSECURE

This is really funny because in one of the endings is called jack o'lantern. This is their revenge ig lmao

omae wa mou shinderu

Thank you for the silly drawings! I'm so glad I got some cute fanart already hehe

Thanks again for the congratulations! Though it's not realllly finished, I have a couple of CGs and endings sewn in! I think I wanna change a few things so it's not just blatant trauma dumping lolol + script.gui things

It's bland and cheesy asf

Yeah, I think the line up for the storyline falls into Beginning/Build Up/Climax/End. It's not like I'm writing any flashbacks of his past so 😭 ur right

LMFAOOOOO Jayce does go sicko mode pretty quick, so, him wanting a lot of sympathy and him gaslighting tf outta player does goes strong here 💀

I haven't watch the OG Michael Myers bc I have no idea which one is the actual OG soooo yeah, but I totally agree with you! The premise of it is pretty cool and is still iconic even though his motives and identity are still very vague.

That little bit with darling and yandere is SOOOO true 😭 If darling stayed really friendly with Jayce (prob out of fear) he would trauma dump but not tell them everything. He's totally is attracted and interested in player, but he's just testing the waters yk?

damn, cowabummer fr

I could just have Jayce give player a story of when he was young that fully traumatized him, buuuuuutt Jayce doesn't trust player all that much. It would make player understand why he is doing what he is doing, but I want him to be vague and just a bit cruel without any known motives other than, "I like you."

After I'm done tweaking the dialogue and putting in the appropriate images, I'll most definitely take a fat nap and binge read fics hehe

LMFAO I MEAN IF YOU'RE AN ACTIVE PERSON AND WORK OUT A BIT, YOU MIGHT OVERPOWER HIM IF YOU'RE SMART. YOU'LL UNDERSTAND WHY WHEN YOU PLAY IT. HE MIGHT BE A LONELY LOSER BUT UNFORTUNELY HE CAN FEND FOR HIMSELF 💀

HAUGHGUHUUHUHAGH THE FUCKING CHRISTAN HOLIDAY TRIPLE THREAT HELPPPPP MEEEEE

Christmas man is a bit arrogant and a broke bitch (Elliot Astros lmfao)

He be looking like black and white toothpaste rn tbh 🤷‍♀️

His design was gonna look like he was a nice guy, but I looked through my old drawing from last school year, and I saw this really hot random OC guy I drew bc I was in my Tokyo revengers, Bonten era 😜 He was realllly hot and yk what, I said fuck it and just replaced the OG design for this fine ass mf.

The twins lowkey do illegal shit, but they're nice if ur nice.

They're ginger 😁and idk their names yet BUT IT'S A WORK IN PROGRESS

[thinkingisadangerouspastime]

22, 41, and 70!

22. describe your writing process from scratch to finish.

step one: putting on the right background music (usually a movie soundtrack or lindsey stirling, it needs to be mostly instrumental for me to focus).

step two: most of the time, i start with an "idea dump" in one of my journals, where i'll literally just record any ideas that come to mind re the fic i want to write. afterwards, i try to take those ideas and put them into an outline. for shorter fics, that's usually just the basic order of events. for longer oneshots or multichaps, i tend to write out what i expect to happen in each event/section of the fic.

step three version A: once i have an outline, i like to handwrite my fics in nice notebooks with colorful pens 🥰 if im able to do so, i eventually type up the fic, wait at least one day to do a read-through edit for major issues, and then wait at least one more day to use NaturalReaders to read my story aloud to me so i can catch smaller typos (a common one: and vs an).

step three version B: if i can't handwrite the fic for whatever reason, such as if im on a tighter deadline or the story is longer (or both), i'll type the fic straight into a google doc. if time allows it, i'll retype the entire fic after a few days in another google doc. if time does not allow that, i do the same read-through and NaturalReaders editing pattern that i do with handwritten fics (although sometimes with two read-throughs).

step four: after that, i'll post the fic!

41. what is the weirdest story idea you’ve ever had.

well, The Wrong Note is weird by virtue of the fact that it very well may be the only monk x medium crossover on the internet 😂 that said, the plot is a pretty straightforward murder mystery that's fitting for both shows, so i wouldn't necessarily consider it the weirdest story idea i've ever had. hmm...

Sigh No More, my maiko much ado au, is kind of weird ngl, since it's such a... unique au to apply to atla and maiko 😂 WAIT WAIT, i've got it: in Exposition, a fic i wrote for the kataang valentine's bash last year, one of the aus i explore involves aang as a kind-of-but-not-quite-ghost. i think that's the weirdest story idea i've had just because all the other aus in the fic are way more traditional (college au, superhero au, mermaid au), but not the ghost-ish concept lmao. i cannot for the life of me remember what inspired it or how i would have taken it further, but yeah. ghost-ish aang. maybe human, maybe once human, maybe never again human, perpetually toeing the line between life and death. definitely one of the weirder fic ideas i've had

(in terms of non-posted weird story ideas, i tend to forget anything my brain comes up with if i don't write it down, so regretfully im not sure 💀 atla heathers au?? kincoy sort-of-kind-of striptease?? ladybug dies fic?? are those weird?? i feel like i have no standard to measure against lmaooo)

70. are you very critical of your own writing? how much do you find yourself editing (either during the writing or after the fact)?

yes and no? fanfic is a hobby and i try to treat it as such, but i am also not immune to getting frustrated when a scene doesn't come out in words the way i see it in my head. i've already talked about my writing process in 22, including how i edit, but i'll add here that i have a pretty hard rule that i don't allow myself to go back and edit until i've finished the entire story. if i want to change something later, i'll make a note in the margins/leave a comment in my doc to remind myself about it, but i won't actually revise anything until the story is complete.

[apdswims486]

hello friends i'm back from the dead i deleted tumblr for a while bc i just wasn't using it but now that i'm here to cry about unus annus with a relatively larger group of people i figured i'd share some new ✨interests✨ of mine that have developed during covid

are yall ready for an absolute unit of a brain dump NOPE BUT HERE I GO

i have become an up and coming theatre nerd and no one can stop me

no i'm not british i just like that spelling so much better "theater" ew the fuck

my current favs are six (k howard is my child), & juliet (miriam teak-lee is a goddess and no one can change my mind), anastasia (holy fuck dimya is the cutest thing ever), beetlejuice (compilations of bj being horny give me life), and yes like a month ago i finally watched hamilton for the first time and when i say IM IN LOVE

i have discovered that somehow i hate my family more than i did before which is uh slightly concerning

i have started learning a lot about myself and my triggers and oh yea it's very possible that i'm depressed and have cptsd but like haha i won't know that for sure for a couple years because my parents don't think mental health is actually important

also that would require me to tell someone other than my best friend out loud that my parents are abusive fucks and they would have to BE THERE and i'm not ready for that yet nope nope nopeity nope

uhhh what else

OH yea unus annus happened although that was before quarantine but oh well

i fell asleep the last three hours of the livestream yesterday and i MISSED IT i'm so angry at my inability to function on no sleep

seriously like i'm exhausted 24/7 like i could take a nap at any time and it still wouldn't be enough

my eyes literally couldn't stay open yesterday at like 11:30 (est) and whenever ethan or mark would yell i would jump up be like WAH WHAT WHATS HAPPENING

and i had to get up early this morning anyway so i told my friend (we were on facetime) to just recap me in the morning and accepted my fate into the beautiful world of sleep

also no one cares but my birthday video was ethan redefines male beauty and its honest to god one of my favorites

amy was 100% right it was just like "oops all bangers"

another favorite would be the trolley problem like them trying to read the one with your dick stuck in the rails killed me

but anyway

i redid my room this summer! it's a beachy boi now and i love it so much

some trauma came with that but honestly i can't do anything without trauma anymore so i've just kind of accepted it

i've also been really stressed about ya know our ✨government✨ lately bc trump is a pos and i've been seeing all this shit that's like "he's attempting a coup" and i'm like the FUCK is that

honestly i'm terrified to look it up which is why i still don't know what it is

also hardcore trumpies scare me

yea i said it

ummmmm brainfart

i zoned out for FIVE SECONDS and i forget what i was gonna say

welcome to my whole life guys

my dog is still really cute

she turns 10 soon

and i love her but i REALLY want a cat

like really bad

like i love cats so much and they don't seem to hate me so i'll take it

I DIED MY HAIR IM HALF BLONDE NOW AND I WASNT BEFORE

I ALSO GOT MY BRACES OFF THANK FUCK

you know what's funny

i only got tumblr back bc they kept emailing me

you wanna know why

because porn bots keep following me

LIKE WHATTT LMAOOO

like i get it i radiate sex appeal but i'm underage bro that's illegal

i'm gonna stop while i'm ahead and take time to praise our lord and savior john mulaney who i'm still convinced is immortal and will in fact be the muleaney

[xelsjournal]

december 11 2022 2:12 pm

i think i got it backwards again. like for a while i was laying around like hmmm how to i attract change cuz i feel happy quite frequently and in general am content but im a bit bored. so i decided to switch up everything, my routine, my habits, my intentions, my affirmations, my mindset and see where that would take me. at the very least i can enjoy the voyage and all the newness. and for a while, i had a blast, lots changed, very interesting times, lots of ups and downs. and ive come back to a place of like stability and contentment, but also boredom again and like a looming concern of stagnancy. like im at a start of a long journey and im making my slow and steady progress but im like antsy. but i know that im at the beginning of something in one part of my life and the end of a cycle in another part of my life. i can feel the the dissonance in my joints and i feel restless. i want to rush to somewhere and get there fast, but i know thats not the right way and frankly i cant speed up the pacing of this voyage. i think i just revealed to myself that i need to exercise to relieve the sensation of wanting to expell energy but needing to redirect it. but thats not what this journal was about. anyways back to the topic of change and happiness, i asked myself again recently if i was happy and i said hmmm not really. im not sad, nothings wrongs but im just kinda going about my business, living life. it felt like i was waiting to be happy, like waiting for something to be happy about, for something outside of my to come along and set off a chain reaction that would bring me the ultimate wish fulfillment. so i went all grind mode, gotta-change-up-my-path-so-i-can-change-up-my-life, and i put my happiness somewhere else, somewhere ahead of me in some distant land. and i left and i lived. and i had a fucking blast lmaooo i put my joy in all those exhilarating moments, in those inconveniences, in that sensation of newness. i had been so anticipating it and finally making it happen and deciding to experience it fully and openly, and then having it all play out in such a fun way, so to have it come to what felt like such an abrupt stop and redirection was kind of jarring. i was still committed to enjoying myself until i could get back to somewhere else but then it continued. and continued. and continued some more. and the longer i spend here (realistically im being v dramstic cuz its mostly been these past few days), the more im wondering when tf im gonna go again lmao. cuz like the people im round rn arent making me happy or bringing me peace. if anything 80% of the time theyre feeding my own anger and discontentment. for a while i didnt notice it but since i noticed it like two days ago, every interaction is becoming an obstacle course as i dodge hooks into aggravating conversations or implicit requests for verbal drama dumps. and it has me thinking,,,, do i even wanna be here around these people!?! i think not! cuz why my day gotta be ruined just cuz urs is? but also at the same time im literally here and i cant escape that reality. so do i wait to be happy again? and i kinda subconsciously determined i would have to wait for another voyage to get my happiness back. but i came across a post a few minutes ago that said something about having “to find happiness in the little things all around you” and that had me pause bc damn yeah my life doesnt have to be bleak “until” anything. theres so many things i enjoy, my own company at the top of the list, theres just no reason my happiness needs to only look like one thing of be associated to one thing. i can find my happiness in this very moment. then it had me remembering the law of attraction and how this is kind of a good hack. if i want to be happy and living in excitement, i need to start doing so now. me being happy and exhilarated attracts. more and more opportunities for it to me, so it can open the doors to the joy im seeking by experiencing it in the now. this us a word salad and idc.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

Hi!! So this is an honest question so i hope it doesnt come off as rude or anything- but doesn't the thought that everything you post here can be reblogged make you more reserved or anything? Idk how to explain it but whenever i wanna post something here i think about doing it for a super long time to be sure i want it to possibly be on the internet forever- but i see you're comfortable with sharing pretty personal stuff so i was just wondering if it affected you any way or maybe it was just me?

lmaooo it’s cool!!! there’s an unending AMA going on here and off the top of my head i can’t think of anything off-limits to ask about

it’s definitely not just you!! out of the ppl i know off the top of my head i’m probably really far and away doing the Most airing my bullshit. if you ultimately don’t like the idea of stuff just kinda sitting around to be seen by Anyone, that’s valid and there’s no problem with feeling like that makes you wanna Not Post some stuff

like this is especially true for young teens on the soche media…hell i just entirely threw out the blog i’d had from like 14 -18, and not because i was particularly embarrassed or anything, it just felt mostly obsolete. you can become someone so different in even one year and that’s fine and you might not want Old Venting and the like just sitting around out there. it’s definitely okay to be real private about that kinda stuff

i know sometimes ppl having sorta Compromises where maybe they’ll create a second blog / account specifically for talking abt personal stuff, and then only maybe allow friends (or nobody) to access it; or people will just tag everything with Delete Later and then go back and delete it later so it’s not out there forever, or just because they find it embarrassing soon afterwards lol

for my part, there’s definitely multiple reasons i pretty much don’t care

1. i never used to Vent post back in the early days. but one of my earliest examples maybe was this sudden essay i dumped on my blog when i was 16? 17? abt how unhappy i was at home. it took me till i was 18 to really start to realize that what i’d always lived with was literally abuse, and it was things like The Sudden Venting Essay that really helped me put it all into words and be able to organize my thoughts enough to write about it and realize that there was a lottttt of shit i was rly miserable about2. ever since then really i’ve found that when i write about something, whether messaging it to someone or just posting it in general, a ton of times it helps me kinda make connections or figure something out or just feel like i have a better grasp on an idea.3. even after i started maybe doing the occasional venting post, for a long time i was really hesitant about it, but this was mostly b/c i felt like i didn’t have ~real~ enough problems and/or nobody would really care. as for the former, well yesterday i was saying how i still have this underlying feeling that i’m an imposter / don’t count / not REALLY as ___ as other people or whatever, so i’m still working on that, but it definitely doesn’t upset me as much as it might back in the day. re: the latter—tbh i dont care if nobody cares. i write abt personal shit b/c i care. my entire blog is About and Because i care, and if other people care, great, if they don’t, ok.4. a lot of this is about having compassion for myself. i don’t look down on other people for making personal posts, so i don’t look down on myself, either. 5. more self-compassion: there’s probably olden text posts from the early days of this blog that don’t even sound like me coz my Outer Demeanor has changed a lot these past 5 or 2 or 1 yrs. but even if i stumbled across some Old Post of mine and was like “lmfao whats up w THIS loser” it’s like….well, i’m sympathetic to my Earlier Selves. this applies to like, me never deleting Late Night Sad Posts or whatever (even tho nowadays they’re never exactly like i’m upset, maybe just Melancholy or in a mood to talk abt something saddish) coz i’m like, well, even though rn i don’t feel like i Need this post, back then i did feel like venting to feel better! and that’s fine. i don’t find that embarrassing. it’s like if you’re thirsty on one day and you drink some water and at some random point during the next evening when you’re not thirsty you think back on that time you were drinking water and you’re like “wow, embarrassing.” well clearly its not a perfect analogy but the point is sometimes you might feel you need to talk, and sometimes you don’t, and both times are ok. its not an embarrassment to have been upset6. this blog is the most personal thing in the world for me lmao its my Main social media presence, goes back five yrs, and for like. well the whole five years its been what keeps me from being way more isolated than i am. irl friends have been long distance this whole time (save a couple exceptions) and mostly my way to talk to ppl has been on here. this was especially important when i was at my parents house for a couple yrs. it was fairly awful and being able to be in touch w ppl and being able to SAY it was awful was clearly important, and i became more inclined to write abt shit rather than hold myself back b/c my being able to say anything was important7. i still talk about things b/c being able to say anything here to people in the outside world is important8. i can’t be like “i cant talk abt this b/c its not important/interesting enough” coz if i did i wouldn’t talk abt anything. i just write b/c i have things to say, and this is my pointless blog9. i don’t expect i’ll ever become Well Known in any circles. for me the more likely concern is kinda disappearing either due to dying or incarceration or some other shit scenario. the times i talk on here are good b/c that hasnt happened yet and i have the option10. even if i did become well known, i don’t really care.11. also for uh…all the times i was living in my parents house thru my life i was really really isolated. for eons i was used to nobody knowing shit abt me and keeping p much all my thoughts to myself. nowadays this blog is what lets me be able to sorta Known and Seen and able to get in touch w ppl if we wanna. basically, there’s nothing TOO personal. i’m not even trying to push myself to “overshare” coz like i said, p much nothing is offlimits. i’ve just had a lifetimes worth of being very invisible and unknown to anyone12. actually i can still be very cagey abt myself in person. learning to be more open On Here is a bit helpful for that. 13. idk that anyone else would give a shit about old vent posts from me either. when i talk abt me im talking abt *me*, its really not even vaguely interesting when removed even one degree from that specific context. 14. maybe there’s the chance some shit will happen to be Relatable to other ppl and somehow helpful to them15. for example, a lot of how i realized i was actually experiencing abuse for real was thru anecdotal / qualitative posts abt it. sometimes there’s shit you think is Just You only b/c nobody else who it applies to is talking about it yknow16. maybe making it seem less a big deal to talk abt your bullshit if i unapologetically talk abt my bullshit17. i remember my younger self feeling like i didnt ~deserve~ to talk abt my own thoughts & feelings the way other ppl did coz mine weren’t as good, so i kinda do it for them / in celebration of no longer feeling that way18. i actually like to talk. i just usually can’t. irl i very very very very rarely talk at length about myself, i don’t talk much at all. for me this is where i get to talk19. hmm i may have skipped or forgotten something obvious but hey. for now, there’s this. no-limits milo they call me