#im going to write smth for them
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what conclave movie did yall watch
#tw blood#blood tw#jamtam(fan)art#jamtams art#conclave fanart#vincent benitez#uhh ok so im too tired to write a proper thought process list for this one but ill put some thoughts here in tags#was originally going to be inspired by the assumption of mary#a specific work depicting it actually. but as i worked on it due to many different things it transformed into smth else#i originaly was thinking ab the scene where they mention vincents death-embalming-exposure in the book. tying that to the assumption of mar#idk if that makes sense but. obviously i didnt og thru w that specific comp. however#the themes and intent i originally wanted did stay. just put them through a different lens#i have so many different inspirations stored in my brain that i want to draw on for conclave art#specifically vincent art. im sure i'll end up making more pieces depicting what i wanted originally too
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iām obsessed with the idea of cult leader!geto pining for a reader who just fucking hates him ā¦.... maybe itās someone from his past that he left behind when he defected, maybe theyāre bitter and spiteful and all they do is hiss and bite but heās so smitten. you can do no wrong in his eyes. he deserves the curses and anger, he knows, and he receives them with a smile and eyes full of hearts. he gets giddy when you scowl at him. he just thinks youāre love personified. heās so gentle and patient that itās infuriating because nothing you do or say will get him to bite back ā itās like youāre a kitten gnawing at his fist but he does nothing but coo at you even when you draw blood
#SAVE ME MAN CAPABLE OF IMMENSE CRUELTY WHO TURNS INTO A PUPPY IN YOUR PRESENCEā¦. SAVE MEā¦ā¦ā¦.#im thinking abt a kind of sort of sequel to there was no place in nature we could meetā¦.#where reader DOES go with geto and join his cult but theyāre still soooo bitter and hateful. thereās so much anger left#and geto is just endlessly patient heāll wait as long as it takes for them to melt into his embrace againā¦..#doesnt even mind if they scratch at him or tell him to fuck off heās in LOVE#im obsessed w cult leader geto and the idea of him being a puppydog w his s/o alone itās canon to me#ari noises ā©#geto x reader#<- clout chaser moment I JUST WANNA BE ABLE TO FIND THIS AGAIN IF I WRITE SMTH ON IT⦠:ā3#thinking abt him always <33 my silliest little mass murderer
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Me when the children of the 2 MASTER blacksmiths I kidnapped with some random sword a decade ago start to gang up on me in my museum and then the red guy throws his sister 760 miles/h towards me after mocking my brother and I
This is literally how it wentš
#Smth quick bc im gonna be off half the day tomorrow#Gonna go to a field trip of a club I was in woohooo#I have the biggest urge to draw historyshipping so badly#Listen yall i love them#I need more fanfics bc theres only ONE in existence#Thank you purplefern for writing it you're a life saviouršŖššš#And kyo for drawing them omg if you see this im eating up your art#lego ninjago#ninjago#art#lego ninjago fanart#my artwork#help me please#ninjago acronix#Ninjago krux#Krux and acronix#Ninjago hands of time#Acronix#Krux#Ninjago kai#Ninjago nya#Nya smith#Kai smith#Ninjago season 7#Hands of time#Ninjago ray#Ninjago maya#Ninjago time twins
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A little promo with my little obsession on the side...........
Reminder all items are shipped from Poland - for details on shipping times check out FAQ or send me a private message!
Ā mmezzy.bigcartel.com
#klance#halloween au#im projecting on the internet my own impostor syndrome#i feel that im awful and should be learning how to draw instead of writing shitty fics#and when i want to write a post and share a little doodle or smth - 'sorry' is right between the lines and its so frustrating#like???? nobody probably cares#im either here or im not#and if i need to finish that little abomination of a fic then so be it you'd think people wouldnt mind too much#and would still want to listen to my captions and see whatever silly doodle however silly it is as long as its true#..............but what if its all redundant#what if i cant draw after i had to flip my entire routine upside down#and will forever chase a thrill of feeling like a prolific artist and it will be always out of reach now#what if people scroll past my art and feel nothing now#what if world is filled with people who kinda hate klance but stay out of reflex and not bc its their deeply routed source of comfort#what if i reached an artistic plateau and will never be good enough#what if this is the limit of my 'talent'#what if i will forever love the projects i want to share but will always hate the execution of it wanting to fix it fix it fix it learn mor#i keep reading the little notes i get on orders#some screenshots i saved#i find good words and opinions and love letters to art as a whole#and i feel insufficient#subpar#i drew a comic about it to an old poem and still havent finished it#there is a point of trying your best when it stops feeling like a challenge and feels like a failure#its the moment where you keep going of course#and yet#there are emotions im sure nobody shares on social media bc we just try to get through them#but who else will take it better than tumblr tags#either way if im less around its because im dealing with creational self-hatred and artistic ambitions#but on the other hand arent all artists like that? i ran out of tag space btw have an awesome weekend
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found an old thing

#moondrop#its 11 months old according to my malmal activity#im back to drawing them again it seems TT#they're the kind of characters u can't help but go back to whenever you're tired#or in this case; when you don't have any ideas to draw lol#drawing a character so much that its become a habit even when ure interested in smth else rn#anyway yes im drawing sun and i hate that my improvement really shows whenever i draw them >:(#sorry for the ramble but also not sorry for the ramble (i am the ruler of these tags)#might try writing a fic abt them once i get a hang of writing characters#with my whole heart; i wish for them to fucking Cry#they deserve to be able to weep the tears they haven't wept
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PLEASE become evil on main your thoughts are always very interesting !! :3
Anon I need you to know I was debating just only making that one post and then biting my tongue about the rest but this ask was genuinely so relieving to see that I teared up a little bit thank you HDKSHDJD
I did, however, uhm. talk a Lot. and I'm very much being more honest about my feelings on this than I usually am, so it's going under the cut bdjshdjdnf
Ahem ahem. So. From a meta standpoint? I just have a very, very weird feeling about what's going on with tsams now that they've Also changed Lunar's name. The only information we have on what's happening is from Discord, where Kat mentioned it wasn't her choice to change Earth's name and the mods reassuring everyone that the changes are for a good reason. I've been seeing theories that the changes are to make them more sellable for merch? But I,, don't fully know why they'd have to change their own OCs for that? So idk
From a story perspective though? It doesn't make sense and it's just another vein of Lunar having no choice in what happens to them.
Just because Libra asked "do you accept this permanent name change?" doesn't mean that "no" was a valid answer, because then what would have happened? They say "actually, I like my name, Lunar feels fine" and then what? The astrals, of which are famously judgy and pushy, say "okay, we'll continue to call you Lunar then! (Even though we just said that Lunar is an unfitting astral name)" like?!?!!??? And Lunar just immediately goes home to be like "uh. I guess I have a different name now? and I don't wanna deal with two names, so just call me Cosmos too."
They didn't make this choice. And honestly! They couldn't have because Lunar wouldn't have ever changed their name of their own volition!!! You can't tell me that Lunarāthe character who is known for trying to cling onto a sense of identity so hard that it causes more problems for them in the long runāwould be willing to let go of their own name? That is the one thing about them that actually hasn't changed since the beginning, the one thing that's consistent in the face of everything.
Plus, on a more personal note? I had an experience with my old username where everyone was calling me a nickname derived from my url instead of my actual chosen name, and the realization that only one person was calling me my actual preferred name made me have a messy identity crisis. If Lunar wasn't just, a character who is unfortunately the subject of bad writing lately, this choice would probably hit them at some point. They'd probably have that same awful, dreadful feeling of "oh god. no one even knows me."
It's just. Earth made sense because she at least gave her own reasons. She said "yeah I'm tryna be my own person now, so I'm Terra!" but Lunar's reason was just "uh. Libra gave it to me sooo.... š yup." Like. augghhh. They could have gone by both Lunar and Cosmos too if the writing wasn't being so weird but !!! ugh. deflates. it's whateverrrrr
#asks#anon#I AM NOT MAINTAGGING THIS EITHER. FOLLOWER SPECIAL ONLY BDJSBDJDNF#it's just. it's really really upsetting to have been watching lunar erode more and more to these writing choices#they. really changed bc of tlaes ending. and it's very clear it's bc of how rushed the ending was#i have been in love with lunar from the start. i loved how they tackles some harder situations and i was so excited about the developmentā#āof the dark star power bc ot meant that they finally unmasked and relapsed and we could see a very raw side of mental illness and trauma!#and then. it all amounted to 'yeah they're a bad person. good thing they're fixing that up in space!'#and i . literally have still been holding onto the slightest glimmer of hope that something would change#that maybe the new model woud be a good start even as a side character!#and then they changed their name#and then i realized there's something Happening#and they don't care about doing lunar's issues justice anymore. that it's just about marketability for real now#and i. honest to god cried earlier about this! i was genuinely shedding tears over this bc i had wanted so much more. and maybe that wasā#āadmittedly a bit silly of me! bc it's a daily uploads content farm ran by a shady company. and i was so eager to see smth better happenā#āthat i accidentally turned watching tsams into an ocd compulsion bc i kept telling myself 'this one. this one could have lunar. this oneā#ācould have smth better for them. this one might be the silver lining#and it never was. and so i'm just. tired. and probably just gunna lay off watching Every tsams ep#it's not enjoyable anymore. every episode with them just makes me sadder#HM I JUST REALIZED HOW I SOUND. SORRY FOR BEING. SO FUCKING SERIOUS JESUS.#i just dhsjdhjshd im. kinda still going thru it LOL#vent#long tags#very long tags#discourse#negative#??? idk i'm doing blacklist-able tags just in case hdjshdjdjf#xero thoughts and rambles
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Day 134
More The Untitled AU content hehehe enjoy a little messy drabble to go with the piece bc I've officially got this AU in the slow cooker and brother she is cookin
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"We were friends once, right?" Grian whispered to himself, watching Scar from afar as the elf worked. "What changed?"
Was it me?
The thought bounced around in his mind on loop, a plague in his mind. They WERE friends once, they were CLOSE friends once even. And then he had to go and screw it all up, didn't he?
There was a time, not too long ago even, that Grian could go to Scar with anything. From random thoughts to late night woes, Grian knew he could trust his best friend to be there. And Grian, in turn, would do the same for Scar, with reckless abandon even.
So what had changed?
It had to have been me..
Grian turned away from his friend, perched in a branch of one of Scar's trees, watching the elf build away at the zoo. His chest ached, a deep rooted and unfortunately familiar ache. He wanted nothing more than to fly down and scoop Scar up in a hug, tackle him to the ground with love. He wanted nothing more than to feel his friend's embrace. But a tiny little whisper held him back.
You'll just hurt him again.
That was what had changed.
His powers, those stupid stupid powers which had once been a source of joy for him had hurt his friends. He hadn't meant to hurt them, honest! He'd just been trying to be proactive, to mitigate his friends' sadness the moment it started. If he could just watch over them all the time, then he could be there at the drop of a hat to help!
That was the theory anyway... He hadn't been expecting Scar to be so freaked out that Grian had just appeared to help after a particularly bad day. Grian hadn't expected that Scar wouldn't like the proactiveness.
I've changed, I hurt him. I hurt him I hurt him-
The ache in his chest grew as Grian's thoughts turned towards a spiral. It grew from a dull ache to a piercing pain. The avian gasped, jumping off the branch he'd been perched on and booking it for home.
This too had changed. These cursed powers had side effects, evidently.
He slammed the door shut just in time to hack up a handful of tiny, delicate sunflowers.
#dailygriandoodles#grian fanart#hermitcraft fanart#grian#hermitcraft#avian grian#watcher grian#goodtimeswithscar#gtwscar fanart#hermitcraft fanfic#hermitfic#The Untitled AU#hanahaki#nyehehehehehe im gonna try to do more of these bc they're fun to do#a piece and some drabble writing to go with it#once i have enough i'll probably spruce up the writing bits and post them to ao3 or smth#in the meantime enjoy :3c
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au where tadius is the grizzwald sistersā bastard brother and recognizes their mangled skin suits for the people they used to be
#cc spoilers#cinderella's castle spoilers#cinderellas castle spoilers#cinderellaās castle#cinderellas castle#tadius#justine grizzwald#lucy grizzwald#benny beeps#saw a tumblr post a while back about tad being their bastard brother and man its a very intruiging concept#i do think if they ever do snow white then their actual brother will be the huntsman#but its a fun concept to toy around with#tho i do wanna try to figure out a way to write smth for it without taking away ellaās agency or smth by accident#maybe he freaks out and canāt do anything about it and ella realizes He Knows#and goes after him and they work together to do something about it???? idk man im just some dude#i do want her to ultimately be the one who kills them thoā if weāre going that route
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i saw a tweet about zzz charas disabilities and iād like to talk about my fav fact with lighter is that the arm he injured severely during his time as a mercenary leader is also the same one that uses his gauntlet. despite him saying that one is more than enough, iād like to believe that his right hand is slightly weaker than his left when not using the gauntlet.
#luminotes Ėā§āāā#lighter zzz#lighter lorenz#zzz lighter#sorry guys#i just think about random things related to lighter#and i want to mention it#but all of them are lowkey kinda sad#i very much still love lighter#like i think about him a lot but i just canāt bring myself to write smth lately#since iāve been going through so much in life lol#BUT JUST KNOW I LOVE HIM#I STILL DO IM SO EXCITED FOR HIS RERUN#i saved up for him and only him
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something i genuinely adore about tadc is how painfully flawed everyone in the circus is. and not in a small way
everyone does SOMETHING that negatively impacts the others. but it makes the fact that you are supposed to sympathize with and really connect with them all the more potent. because its easy to want to put a bunch of characters in a bad situation together and to just have them all be nice to each other and everyone and never make mistakes because theres no reason to hurt each other, and most of them dont TRY to, but the way they cope is so, so realistic for each of their personalities, and it doesnt always mesh with the others, and sometimes it exceeds self destructive and Just Hurts Others, Too
they still generally care about each other and the mistakes they make and the ways they end up hurting each other dont lose their weight but like. it doesnt take away from their humanity and the fact that they are all trying so hard to manage in an awful situation
and the characters seem to have sooome sort of understanding of this too. not fully, because the characters dont tend to be 100% communicative, but when they hurt each other, it often makes EVERYONE uncomfortable. because these are the only people they have. these are their friends. and theyre all coping. but it doesnt change how much it affects them (best illustrated by ragathas lines at the start of ep 2 or gangles 'i love her, but after a while it gets kinda hard to tell how genuine shes actually being'). its not all like this, theres a good amnt of variety, but characters knowing this but not really knowing what to do about it is very painful in an effective way
(i think a subtle example of this is how zooble handles gangles situation in ep 4- they were so genuinely trying to help her because they care. but could tell as the day went on that oh, this is not working at all and its making things worse, and they leave gangle alone- something that very genuinely couldve been the moment she abstracted, because of the mask zooble gave her- and we dont get to have a super blatant explanation of zoobles thoughts on it, but they reach a fairly healthy conclusion about it that helps both of them, and i like that a lot, because on paper zooble could be placed at fault but the narrative doesnt dwell on it excessively, because thats not the point. i dont know if that tangent makes sense but i think about it sometimes. i think zooble wasnt 'to blame' but it was still a mistake, which is a hard balance to strike, and having them help at the end feels extremely effective at rounding it off!!!)
but like. in general its complicated balancing making characters in a bad situation act flawed because it can run the risk of seeming like the story is scolding them or blaming them for the situation theyre in, or like youre expected to not sympathize with them despite it (though the inverse also has complications- if characters in a bad situation never mess up, it feels unrealistic and hard to relate to, and can imply that their innocence is why whats happening to them is bad at all), but the show handles it so well
even the characters who are genuinely trying all try in different ways- some of them have similar outlooks or attitudes towards these thing but theres vital differences for ALL of them- sometimes it works and sometimes it doesnt. in fact some of the more painful mistakes characters have made in the show have come from them so genuinely trying (like the thing i mentioned w zooble, or basically Everything Ragatha Does, or pomnis first attempt at helping gangle, etc), which hits harder than if every mistake characters made had wholly selfish and cruel goals.
i mean, there is a selfishness to many of the characters' actions but imo not in a way thats not warranted. because all of them are in a horrible setting. its uncomfortable to watch characters be selfish. but it is a natural instinct to survive. its not the foundation of most of their actions, but when it is, its uncomfortable but hard to completely disparage them for in a way that makes you feel kinda conflicted
and like. it hurts to be doing your best and for that to make things worse, but its what happens often in the show. because no one in a bad situation is gonna handle it well. by the very nature of trying to survive something is gonna give, but it makes the themes of the show so much more powerful. that making sure the people around you dont feel unloved, cherishing them and finding meaning with others is no less important just because everyone is fucking up. it complicates things, for sure, but it doesnt make those characters exempt fromt this. theres a reason pomni tells gummigoo that she doesnt want "anyone" to feel like theyre nothing, and that kinger doesnt add ANY quallifiers to making sure people feel wanted and loved (not that i think either of them were thinking SUPER super hard, but it conveys smth from the perspective of the narrative
it gets complicated when you add in jax for sure, since i think on the surface he IS the exception to this concept- none of the characters like him, including pomni or kinger. but i think this is something thats gonna be examined further down the line, bc hes the main complicating factor in this reading of the show, but i feel like thats on purpose. hes universally disliked (and so is caine, in a different way) and his actions arent mistakes. they are him coping. the show has made it clear that he can be a complex person AND also a piece of shit. his actions dont detract from the fact that hes a person and the show reminds us of this. so it makes things so messy, but im genuinely super excited to see how the show examines that. where his character goes is, imo, going to be a massive piece of how this show fleshes out this concept
#tadc#it just makes me so... man#all of them are coping in a way that influences their mistakes#like. i think the best example i could name is ragatha. she highlights this aspect of the show so well#shes struggling so much. shes doing her best to stay optimistic and because the others dont feel as hopeful as she presents herself#it distances them from her#she wants people to like her SO bad which reads so hard as fawning. but this also puts people off and makes her harder to trust#even if her care for the others is genuine the issue is that how she copes tends to leave her a little isolated in some way shape or form#and thats *just* ragatha#i shoudl write smth properly breaking down how this is done w the whole cast#cus i cannot fit it in these tags so i gotta put a pin in it.... but. have this#also ive said it before but i very genuinely think jax SHOULD get the chance to heal#i mean. i wouldnt like him if i had to know him in person. but i dont think thats . actually relevant#so how the show dissects his character going forward intrigues me and i wanna keep an eye on it so much#it is a BOLD move writing wise to establish him as a piece of shit and then to set up these ideas#cus theyre going somewhere im sure. they keep bringing it up#anywayyyyy. thats the post#sorry if any of it got confusing i have a lot of thoughts abt this but they get a tad jumbled bc theres just. so many factors#i need to make an essay outline before i make these posts LMAOOOOOO#OH YEAH WAIT#bonus:#i think abt how pomni abandons ragatha TWICE in ep 1 and i think it could make someone dislike her#but genuinely. makes me like her more. sometimes people get extremely selfish when theyre scared#its bad! but it makes sense. and it makes her feel so much more real#smth smth theres that saying that how someone acts under pressure says more abt them#but like. its complicated. because an easy way to get someone to act mean is to make them scared#esp since the phrase is more attributed to a crisis. but in tadc this is just their forever#and looong drawn out trauma makes people behave very differently#gestures. i dont have the words to break down that phrase wrt this show but maybe ill try later too. put a pin in that one as well#circus discussion
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HI OKAY so like. in honor of these boyfriends sticking together by the grace of god and just sheer fucking stubbornness and taking matters into their own hands (sooooo sexy and also incredibly leaning to the power-of-friendship ass of them btw) and also because i feel sooo shitty for disappearing all of the sudden and ignoring a whole bunch of you </3 (thank you truly for all the sweet messages in my inbox asking me where and how ive been god yall are so sweet) and also it's such a fucking waste of 7k word vomit if i do end up not finishing this thing and i really do want to finish this but im lacking creative juices and honestly just shit time management but anyways. i present to you the mess of joeteemarr fic in its barely finished glory:
(DOOOO PRAYYY THAT I FINISH ITTTTT (i am on my knees) in spite of all the spoilers (?) you'll read through so it'd be like why the hell would you read this again kind of deal but well ahahahah just let me post this and look away okay šā„ļø)
all on his mouth like liquor ājoeteemarr

intro ā you came, you saw, you conquered // i couldnāt take my eyes off him, i think i heard a spirit call my name (banana yoshimoto, kitchen)
Theyāre both still in their leather ensembleāāso, did you coordinate the outfits, or?ā ājaāmarr copied me.ā āexcuse me? bitch, iāll kill you.āālike they zoomed their way to Teeās place immediately right after the game, after stopping by Judithās for their usual order of burgers and fries.
Tee pokes at his own order of bacon burger, double helping of cheddar cheese and extra garlic, a wobbly little smile poking through when he spots the lovingly sharpied good game 5! the extra pies are for you!!!! donāt let uno eat them!!!!!!!!! on the crinkly wrapping paper. Judith, Cincinnati native, 57 years old and never takes money from Teeās mother. Thinks JaāMarr is the funniest man-child on earth and Joe the sweetest.
JaāMarr has his jacket off now, tank top stretched tight over his shoulders as he slumps over his burgers snarling at Joe to stop stealing his fries. Tee carefully turns his gaze away from dark of his tattoos, the curve of his shoulders, the flex of his biceps when he tries to smack away Joeās hand right over his burger.
But the thing is, if he looks away, heās looking towards JoeāJoe, whoās leather jacket with nothing underneath is zipped down to his navel for some godforsaken reason, miles of pale skin and abs and golden hair and pink nipples flashing everytime he twists his torso to try and take JaāMarrās entire dinner or avoid his retaliations. Tee has to take away JaāMarrās plastic fork before he stabs Joe with it.
(They didnāt coordinate the outfits, by the way. They just ended up wearing something similar again with their weird otherworldly connection that Tee still tries to wrap his head around even now.)
ā----------jaāmarrs drops. sensitive,dfksdfkapoeskfo
JaāMarr skirts his eyes away, mouth curling down, āI donāt wanna talk about it. Iāll deal with it Monday.ā
Tee breathes out, extends his knee and presses his socked toes to the younger manās calves. JaāMarr twitches his leg against his feet, flicking his eyes at him and shooting him a small smile. Heāll be alright.
āNo,ā JaāMarr says evenly, staring right at him even as he slams a hand at Joeās over his plate, ābut you were really fucking sexy.ā
Tee startles, several clumps of mashed up potato slipping out of his mouth in surpriseāreal sexy, there. JaāMarr really has no filter sometimes, calling any person he finds attractive to their faces with zero shame even in front of his boyfriend of however many years. Joe, ever so possessive, rarely even gets bricked up over it, from sheer assurance of his place in JaāMarrās heart. Hard not to be, really, with how steadfast and loud JaāMarr is with his devotion to him. Tee has been called straight up āhot as hellā by the other man for the past years that theyāve known each other and he still gets flustered over it, mostly because. Well. Whatever.
Joe turns his gaze to him as well, pausing his one-man crusade of pilfering his boyfriendās fries. Tee slows his bites as he stares back, feeling weirdly caught like a prey in a predatorās gaze, a gazelle looking through the tan of the savanna landscape trying to find the glint of a lionās eyes lurking in between the blades of grass. Joeās piercing blues flick between his eyes, then slides down, slow, deliberate, purposeful, over the bridge of his nose, his cheekbones, the curve of his lips, the turn of his chin, the hinge of his jaw still clenched from chewing the meat they bought for him, hisāneck exposed by the stretched cotton of his ratty t-shirt, the tangle of his beard, the slight of his Adamās apple, the nearly healed scar on the left side of his jugular from last weekās razor incident, even the loose hang of his faded clemson t-shirt over his shoulders, the dip of it showing off the skin over his collarbones, not too much to show his pecs, but the sheer force of the older manās leer makes himāmakes him push his fucking tits out like he canāt fucking help himself; shoulders, drawing back; spine, straightening; nipples, pebbling, fucking tingling; goosebumps and hair rising over his arms; toes, curling ināhe knows each and every part of his body Joe looks over because the manās so fucking methodical with it, everything else below his chest hidden beneath the table thank fuck, he thinks, of sorts, maybe, a blessing, a curse, who knows, heās still trying to chew on his fucking bite of bacon burger the fuck.
Tee chokes on his late swallowāand drinks the puply orange JaāMarr offers him with an obvious smirk holy shit what the ever living fuck.Ā
Joe goes back to eating his burger like he didnāt just. Undress Tee with his fucking eyes. What the fuck. What the actual fuck was that. Holy shit did he just experience a junior high schoolerās fantastical imaginary eighth grade period axe body spray doped up version of sex daydream or is he just. Insane. Was the burger spiked. What the fuck was that.Ā
Tee feels his lips twitch. Wow. Theyāre reallyāunsubtle. But, are they, really?
ā
āAnd JaāMarr growls. Tee startles, laughing up at him, but itās all cut off short because, wait, holy shitā-
Heās got a lapful of JaāMarr Chase, situating his ass snugly all over Teeās thighs with his own folded on either side of his hips, arms up so he can press his palms on his cheeks, wrapping all the way to the back of his skull because theyāre so big, and kiss him.
āJesus Christ, JaāMarr,ā he hears through muddied ears. Joe, he knows his voice, always, butāeverything isāmuffled, dark, consumed to a single person over himĀ
He flutters his eyes open and gasps out trying to push air into his lungs and JaāMarrās face is right there in front of himāeyes piercing into his own as he purposefully bumps his nose to Teeās and breathes into Teeās gaping open mouth.
Fucking hell.
āJaāMarr,ā he breathes out, panic mountingāand: dick hardening in his sweatpants because JaāMarr fucking Chase is all over his lap grinding down, arms around his shoulders, pretty face right up to his with deep brown eyes staring him down intentlyāhands trembling, acutely aware that his boyfriend of six fucking years is staring right at them from across the room, still stealing said boyfriendās fries. That fucking heifer, jesus, his diet always goes out the window in the 24-hour window of post-game leftover adrenaline rush.
JaāMarrāhis best friend, the prettiest motherfucker heās ever had the pleasure ofādoesnāt even do him the honor of replying, lips stretching wide into a pleased smile and keeps bumping his nose to Teeās over and over like itās a little game to him. Itās ridiculously cuteāthe minute touches, the way Tee has to go cross-eyed to see it, the weight of him all over, the heady scent of warm wood basking him, it calms him down, lowers his heart rate, settles his breathing, makes his eyelids flutter, trying to keep himself from closing the distance and kiss the man again, seems terribly unfair to justāonly have a single chance in his life to kiss JaāMarr Chase once when heās still inches away with his body language so open and willing. Joe, to the side, still fucking eating, not even acting offended even the slightest past the minute exasperated jesus christ, jaāmarr, shoots him a weird dorky thumbs-up. The hell.
āYouāreāā Tee chokes out finally, acutely aware of every point of his palm pressed against the cotton wrapped around his best friendās waist. Acutely aware of how his fingers are twitching, wanting, achingāto grip tighter, to drag downwards and under the hemline and then roughly up the warmth of skin, scrub at the expanse of it available and feel it shiver against the skin of his own palm. The only reason he doesnāt is because every joint, every muscle, every tendon in his body is locked up in, what, fear? Sheer desperate want? A man collapsed inches away from an oasis appearing out of nowhereĀ in a once barren desert, heat pouring over his body and making everything wobbly and blurryāhis vision actually going a bit blurry becauseā
Fuck it all to hell, if he cries in JaāMarr Chaseās faceĀ just because he kissed him heās killing himself and taking everyone with him.
JaāMarr coos, pretty face closing in again and Tee automatically flutters his eyes shut just for the other man to press his lips softly against the thin skin of his left eyelid, keep dragging them along his lashes, letting his liquid tears seep into the crevice of his lips and pool around the corner of his lips, over the bridge of his nose, again to his right eye, and down to the highest point of his cheekājust to press harder and leave a wet imprint from his own tears.
God, JaāMarr fucking Chase.
āYou really gotta say something,ā Tee squeezes out harshly, eyes squeezed shut tight and trying to breathe through his nose.
āYouāre so fucking gorgeous,ā is what JaāMarr says, thumb brushing away the wet spots on his cheeks. Which. Well. Maybe Tee shouldāve just told him to shut the fuck up and get off of him before he does something heād regret, likeālike kiss him again. And again. And again. Again, again, again, again, over, and over, and over, and over until he drops dead because heād never grow tired of it, he doesnāt think.
āI see,ā Tee says, not really seeing. He knows heās āfucking gorgeousā but come one now, really.
JaāMarr grins bright right up against his face, of course knowing what Teeās not saying.
Joe leans down, nudging his boyfriend to the side, hunching over the two, tucks a palm to the side of Teeās neck, all nine inches of it spanning across his skin like a hot brand, and kisses him too.
Tee breathes into his mouth, doesnāt even know how to kiss back, flabbergasted as he is, weighted down by his best friend on his lap, a hand on his neck that might as well feel like a noose, buzzing in his ears, a match of want being struck in him and he doesnāt know if itās by him or if itās actually the people he wants.
Joe hums against his mouth, lips turning down, āyouāre not kissing me back,ā
Heās actually fucking pouting against Teeās mouth, Tee realizes. He doesnāt even want to let go of the kiss to speak, doesn't want to pout away from Teeās lips. Oh god. What is Tee doing.Ā
Tee surges up, arms clenching around JaāMarrās waist, teeth tugging at Joeās bottom lip, and kisses his quarterback right this time, feels him stretch his lips to a smile even as he licks into Teeās mouth and sighs into the kiss. Heās relaxing his shoulders, drooping down, evening outāhe was tense, he was worried, neck veins slightly popping, Tee realizes. This was important to him. Tee kissing him backāwas important. To him.Ā
Oh.
Tee sighs into the kiss, too, relaxes and licks into the space heās being granted access into, for the first time ever.
JaāMarr gets handsy, apparently pleased as a peach at the grip Tee has on his waist. He presses his knees harder to the sides of Teeās hips and grinds his hips down on his lap, palms exploring his torso all over, nails dragging across his nipples over the cotton of his shirt, face all over the skin exposed by the stretched elastic of his t-shirtās neckline, tonguing his neck, his collarbone, biting his pulsepoint and making him gasp into Joeās mouth.
next steps ā i swell like a late summer jackfruit; my skin roughens, the pulp of my body so thick; i wait to be speared and wanted; if squeezed, iāll leave my color on your hands (hį» xuĆ¢n hʰʔng, jackfruit)
Joe pushes his back firmly and he follows through blindly. Itās his house, but Joe knows exactly where eveything is and he trusts literally anywhere this man leads him to, and, also, heās really fucking distracted by this:
JaāMarr bites at his chin, right by his beard, and Tee gaspsāheās a freak, what is with him, why is that so fucking hotāand he keeps tugging on the strings of Teeās sweatpants, fingers brushing deliberately over the tent in his pants, then straight up cupping and squeezing his dick through the cotton when Joe makes them stop to turn a corner. Tee has to just shove the little shit towards the wall, press his head hard against it, and sloppily kiss his mouth to teach him some sort of lesson of some success god what is Tee trying to accomplish here JaāMarr is so fuckingā
An armāJoeācircles his waist, pushing forcefully between the miniscule space between his belly and JaāMarrās and wrenches him back from the other receiver. He whines, fingers scrabbling at his best friendāāWait! No!āāwhile JaāMarr is just laughing and tilting his head back into the wall as he grins teasingly at their quarterback, āwhat, jealous?ā
Joe reaches out and twists his left nipple through his tank top. JaāMarr yelps and starts yelling expletives at him. Tee, leaning back into Joeās embrace, sighs exasperatedly. Of course theyāre doing this, even now.
JaāMarr steps closer, trying to smack at Joe through Tee, and Tee puts his hands on his biceps to stop himāgets distracted, starts sliding his hands up and down the length of them because, fuck, how can he not, and then just grabs them and tugs him closer to kiss him all over again with Joeās arm between their bodies. Man, whatever.
Joe sighs exasperatedly, pressed up all against his back, but he really canāt be all that pissed, because heās mouthing all up Teeās neckāwhat is with him and necks, jesus,Ā
Heās shivering, caught in the middle, Joe in front, JaāMarr behind, hands all over him, standing up but heās falling, stumbling but heās being held up. Thereās a boy in front of him, and thereās a boy behind him, and who is he but another boy asking to be loved and held.
Heās leaning back to JaāMarrās chest now, tilted to the side so he can turn his face and kiss him still, the other manās hand spanning across his face pinning him to place as he presses his tongue into his mouth and moans into it, as loud as he always is anywhere else. Another mouth is all over his chest, tonguing at his nipples, teeth scraping over the dark of his tattoos, panting all over him like a dog, god.
He doesnāt wear boxers at home, and the two know that precisely, Joe stroking his cock through the cotton of sweatpants like it isnāt even there, the grey fabric getting soaked through. He lowers his mouth over it, eyes looking straight up at Tee and asks if he could. Tee nods frantically, not even knowing what the fuck he wants but itās Joe Burrow, he could do whatever he wants to Tee and Tee would lay in his arms like a supplicant and rip his chest open all pretty and bloody and let Joe Burrow dip his chin in and lap it all up.
He whimpers into JaāMarrās mouth, fluttering open his eyes, eyelashes clumpy with tears, sweat, he doesnāt know, and JaāMarr coos, brushing kisses over his eyes as he drags his palms all over Teeās belly, scraping nails over his pubes and pressing down in time with Joe going down on him like he knows the exact rhythm of Joeās every move and plan, even here, even now, even over the sweat and smell of sex of Teeās bodyāespecially, Tee thinks, over his body.
thatās one ā makes a cathedral, him pressing against me, his lips on my neck, and yes, i do believe his mouth is heaven, his kisses falling over me like stars (richard siken, crush)
JaāMarr breathes into his ear, biting at the helix and scraping his teeth over it like a dog. Tee whimpers, turning his head to catch his mouth in his and clack their teeth together, a shock of pain grounding him to earth so he wouldnāt float up to the heavens too high. JaāMarr huffs out a laugh against his lips, āKnock it off, dickhead, I know what youāre doing.ā
Tee scowls at him, hands tightening on Joeās hair instead of reaching out to twist and pinch on his skin, like punishing one of them is the same as punishing the other, really, an extension of a singular subject. Joe groans around his cock, extremely pleased, of fucking course he is, and Tee keeps tugging at his roots in exasperation. Fucking masochistic little shit.
JaāMarr snickers, dragging his tongue all over his neck, āSee, natural Joe Burrow knower. Made just for himāto be his receiver, just like me.ā
JaāMarr, honestly, why the fuck is he like thisā
Joe and Tee both groan in unison, Tee coming off it in a whine because, fuck, Joeās mouth is still all up around his dick, the vibrations traveling up straight to his brain and fucking him up beyond repair.
Joe pulls off with an actual wet pop! and twists a hand harshly around his cockāwhich feels really fucking good, the fuckālike an apology that he isnāt sucking Teeās dick continuously since he got the chance to, and pushes his torso up to prop his face by Teeās head, cheeks pressed up against his, chin digging into his shoulder, and he can feel him kiss JaāMarr rough and wet, with tongue and spit and biting at his lips.
Fucking helllll, theyāre trying to kill him.
The man still twisting his hand around his cock like heās getting paid to presses his cheek harder against Teeās, and heās jawing at JaāMarr, Tee realizes with a breathless laughāāWould you quit saying shit like that so shamelessly midsex it ruins the fucking vibe.ā āWhat fucking vibe? If anything Iām adding to it, bitch, get back to sucking his dick, the fuck.āāand Joe slinks back down right after like he didnāt just stop mid-blowjob to argue with JaāMarr over the receiverās uncensored prattling.
Tee whimpers, Joeās mouth enveloping his cock again like itās made for it, all heat and tightness and perfectĀ
how do you write people getting their dick sucked. exactly. no really.
ja'marr lets him breathe but he's instantly kissing down his neck and biting his collarbones and pushing him down and dragging a tongue over his chest tattoos he's /relentless/ and when he looks to where joe is its to him grinning down at him with a hand guiding ja'marr /down/ 'that's one. you got me three right?'
āThatās one,ā Joe says, his little impish smile Tee has recorded into his brain countless of times before shining down at him, lips dark red, chin and mouth all wet with Teeās spunk, āYou gave me three.ā
āThree what,ā Tee asks, stupidly, ears still ringing from the force of his orgasm. Heās still so focused on the bright wet glint of liquid decorating Joeās lower face, his come, staining his skin. Joe isnāt wiping it away, letting it dry on his skin, flaking and caking and clumping against the corner of his lips. Tee wants to lick it away, drag it into his mouth with his tongue, switch it up and leave bite marks all around his pretty lips. All the red in the cold, now red from his teeth. Would Joe let him. Would JaāMarr let him. Would he let himself mark that pale skin up, leave parts of himself all over his quarterback in ways heās never had the guts to even finish the thought of before tonight?
Joe leans closer, mouth over him, damn the fact that Teeās own come is all over his mouth now. Three, Joe murmurs as he kisses him filthily, sliding his tongue through the gap of his teeth, over his papillae, staining his breath with something of his own. Tee wants a shot of Joeās own come down his throat, drenching the lining of his esophagus. The thought makes his moan, makes him choke into Joeās throat, and the older man swallows him whole.Ā
Fuck, threeādo they��are they trying to get him to come three times, the same amount of times he caught Joeās pass for a touchdown? Christ. Heās getting lightheaded.
He laughs incredulously, flicking his eyes down to JaāMarr mouthing incessantly at his navel, teeth scraping along the black lines of his tattoos, exactly like he said he wanted too. Makes Tee woozy with want, how JaāMarr gets needy and desperate for it, thirsting over Teeās body. How many times has he stared at him naked? Tattoos bared and thought to put his mouth on him? Drag a finger down the lines of stars on his stomach? He has never once caught JaāMarrās eyes on themāhow sneaky had the other man been?
Joeās hand is right on the younger manās head like a brand, like he canāt bear to let go. on his head guiding him
, then back to the blond still staring him down. His smile is just as mischievous as it always is. Are they going to take turns, now? Thatās the hottest shit heās ever thought of, probably.
āWhat,ā he canāt help but say, scoffing and teasing JaāMarr, reaching a hand to tug on his ear and scratch at his cheek because heās so fucking fond of this man he canāt keep it in, really, āyou looking to suck me off too?ā
JaāMarr tugs on his dick, his sensitive dickābitchāand Tee hisses at him, stopping his loving scritches to outright pinch at his ear because never the fuck he minds, this man is such a fucking brat, he canāt put this guard down at all.
The younger man jerks his head away, laughing. He grins up at Tee, teeth bright and eyes even brighter. āNah, I donāt like shit down my throat. Wanna fuck me instead?ā
Tee chokes on his spit. He blacks out, he thinks, by the question alone. By the idea alone. By the thought alone. His brain tries conjuring images and then it just short circuits. Where is he. Who is he. Why is he.
His head gets cradled, pulled to the side by a hand and heās being kissed by a smiling mouth, pulled back down to earth slowly and surely until heās kissing back voluntarily instead of on autopilot. Joe, hand pressed to his cheek and eyes wide open even as heās stealing Teeās breath away by kissing him sweetly and thoroughly. What a freak. Who kisses with their eyes wide open. Joe Fucking Burrow, thatās who. His quarterback who threw him three touchdowns and tried biting his neck on national television. Posted on every NFL official social media accounts and sent to him by his high school friends with the words bruh u fucking ur qb??? Which he apparently is, now.Ā
āHe asked you a question,ā Joe murmurs against his lips. Right. Sure.
Tee looks down to his lap and, damn, what a fucking image. JaāMarr Chase, laying belly down on his bed with his torso half over Teeās thighs, a hand curled loosely around his sensitive dick, the other holding his handāwhen did that happen, Tee is squeezing it tight unconsciously and now he canāt let go even if he triedācheek pressed to his left thigh looking up at him with his pupils blown wide open waiting patiently for Tee to look at him.
Right.
āYou get to choose,ā JaāMarr says when he notices heās got Teeās attention. He tugs at Teeās soft cock againā
āItās not a toy,ā Tee yelps, his unoccupied hand automatically curling around the other receiverās hand around his dick.
JaāMarr just grins wider up at him, unsticking his cheek from his thigh to press a kiss on the hand wrapped around his wrist.
āYou get to choose,ā he says again, āFuck my ass or my thighs?ā
Tee lets out a sound only audible to dogs and dolphins and aliens 900 billion light years away, probably. JaāMarr smiles up at him, looking so shily pleased that he can reduce Tee to such a state by just asking a simple question. He has no fucking business looking so sweetly enamored up at Tee after asking if he would rather fuck him in the ass or his thighs.
Heās jostled around again, Joe tugging at his hips to the side so JaāMarr can haul his ass up to sit by them. This seems to be a theme, with these two, pushy on the field and off the field and in the bedroomāhe canāt even say heās never even thought of it, Ā Burrow-Chase dynamic duo, in whatever form, whatever shape, whatever way he can have them. In his dreams only, he thought, but. But.
JaāMarr is spreading open the hand heās kept on holding since god knows whenālike an emotional support hand holding heās got to keep a hold on to get through sex and that thought genuinely fucks Tee up in ways heās never even thought ofāand he drops a whole packet of lube he procured out of fucking nowhere.
Tee stares blankly down at it. Holy shit.
āBro, youāre taking too long,ā JaāMarr says. Tee flicks his eyes up to look blankly at him. āI want you in me, like, yesterday.ā
Heās trying to fucking kill him, Tee realizes. Calling him bro, asking to fuck him in the ass, the fuck is wrong with him.
āYou gonna finger me open or I gotta do it myself?ā
NggGgRrrHff.
Tee doesnāt even know what came out of his mouth, surging his torso forward and bringing his hand up to tug at JaāMarrās skull, palm all over the back of his head so he can tug him closer to his face and lick his mouth open and just shut him the fuck up.Ā
JaāMarr whimpers, the cocky slope of his shoulders slumping down like a puppet with its strings cut, hauling closer near desperately to settle over Teeās lap and press his palms over his shoulders for supportākissing Tee right back, breathing hot haaas over Teeās mouth as he tries gasping for breath.
Tee tugs on his lips with his teeth, presses wet kisses to the side of his cheeks, drags his own lips over his skin back to the tender spot of his jaw, bites over it, pecks a little kiss in apology, then presses his cheek over JaāMarrās hard so he can tug roughly on his earlobe with his teethāthinks he can devour the other man whole, really, from the sheer hunger in his gut built up from day one of over-familiarly dapping him up and hauling him in for a hug under the then-flickering lights of Paul Brown Stadium in 2021.
The lubeās gone from his fingers. He realizes this because someone is tugging JaāMarrās hips up so heās kneeling over him, then pressing a finger in without so much as an āexcuse meā.Ā
Christ, Joe is so fucking.
Tee can't even find the words, really, to describe his quarterback.Ā
JaāMarr yelps, gasps, clutches tighter at Teeās shoulder, eyelashes fluttering close as he tries to keep kneeling but Joe is apparently ruthless when he's opening someone up because the younger man just collapses all over Tee, Tee letting his weight down him as drags both hands over the other manās back to soothe him.
āWantāā JaāMarr chokes out against the skin of Teeās neck, āāwant you.ā
Joe huffs out a laugh as he mercilessly twists two fingers inside his receiverās ass. Tee feels dizzy looking at theĀ
āOh I see,ā Joe says, dangerously amused, āI see how it is, can't even settle for me no more, huh, when you got Tee Higgins at your beck and call?ā
His fingers slip out, shining under the dim lighting of Teeās night settings, and then he slaps a hand over JaāMarrās ass like every part of him is for him to toy over. Tee is still so fucking woozy from the image of it all, his hand rubbing at JaāMarrās back sliding lower to smooth over the sting from Joeās palm.
(god, what an ass. tee can't help himself, grabs a handful of it and tugs it to the side to show his hole, shining wetly from joeās fingers, a whole invitation for him. tee wants to put his whole mouth on it. lick him open nice and easy. press a finger in and watch as his entire body tremble and shake.)
Joe grins at him, wide and a bit mean, cocky and soooo full of himself, precisely like every other time he makes an insane throw, a run further than his usual short stops, a little overtime nail-biter win like just hours ago: his ice-in-my-veins shot that Tee paused and contemplated jerking off to hours before this.
He reaches over JaāMarr's body between them, kisses Tee like heās giving him his approval, then turns and presses the sweetest kiss to JaāMarrās nose, damn the fact that the other man is glaring and outright pouting at him.
āBro,ā he croaks out, talking to Tee but trying to shoot daggers at Joe with his eyes, ālet me up, let me take this bitch down for one second then we can go right back.ā
Joe giggles bright like an actual child, keeps pressing kisses over whatever parts of JaāMarrās face he could reach until the younger manās lips stretch out wobbly for a smile that he can't help, still whining at Joe to shut the fuck up, would he, just for one day.Ā
Tee grins wide in spite of himself too, hands still all over his best friendās ass and lips still tingling from a kiss from his quarterback.
He drags his arm up so he can cradle JaāMarr, fingers reaching over to grip at his jaw and twist it until he's looking right at him and putting all that focus on Tee, murmurs low and raspy: āyou said you want me?ā, and shamelessly delights in the way the other manās pupils dilate wide and gorgeous.
āFuck you,ā JaāMarr says, jaw working against Teeās grip, āGet your fucking fingers in me before i force myself on your dick, damn it.ā
thatās two ā from the base of her neck, to the arch of her eyelids, her beauty made a slave of me (adonis, transformations of the lover)
JaāMarr nestles himself on his mound of pillowsāTeeās pillows. The pillows Tee sleeps with. His favorite pillows. The dark maroon sheets caressing his bare skin as he lounges on his self made throne, as he spreads open his legs, slipping one more pillow under his hips so he can present his ass to Joe and Tee and look expectantly at them. Tee is still so fucking lightheaded. How did he go from scoring three touchdowns to scoring a whole other touchdown? JaāMarrāhis best friendāwho ducked his head to grin slilly up at him not four hours ago, telling him the next round of WR room steak dinner was on him.Ā
Joe pours lube all over Teeās fingers,Ā
Joeās plastering himself all over his back, but he isnāt pushing him at all. Heās justāthere. Pressed up all over him, moving with him, breathing over the skin of his neck, nosing behind his ear. Heās letting Tee control how he wants to fuck his man, Tee realizes with a jolt, trusting him with JaāMarr.Ā
joe plastered all over tee's back, cock nestled against his ass but he's not pushing tee around he's just following his movements, letting tee control how he wants to enter ja'marr and that also fucks tee up because joes trusting him with ja'marr!! with how he treats ja'marr at his most vulnerable!!!! telling him he can go harder, ja'marr likes whatever, can take whatever, joe leaing a hand in his belly and pushing to add in extra sensation of pleasure when tee pushes /in/ for the first time and he just collapses all over ja'marr and they're all groaning hoarsely in unison because fuck tees in ja'marr and he just pushed his ass back all over joes dick
Joe snickers at the other receiver. Tee feels him lift up an arm, nails scratching at his scalp. Heās murmuring softly at him, but Tee doesnāt think JaāMarr is really computing any of it.Ā
āArenāt you being so agreeable tonight? Some Tee Higgins magic keeping you all pliant and malleable?ā
JaāMarr whimpers, lifting his chin and biting at Joeās fingers. Joe huffs, chest vibrating against Teeās back, and every square inch of Teeās body is filled with warmth.
calls him baby
jaāmarr gets fucked up when tee calls him baby because joe calls him baby btw so
thatās three ā to love someone is firstly to confess: i'm prepared to be devastated by you (billy-ray belcourt, a history of my brief body)
Heās leaning all over JaāMarr now, gazing down the man whoās grinning woozily up at himĀ
Joe, nosing the back of his neck and palming his ass cheeks asking him if he likes to be fucked. JaāMarr, hands still shaky coming up to drag over his sides and settle over his ribs like a key settling into a lock and clicking into place. Tee himself, chest expanding with breath and skin bristling with want from so deep within him it feels like itās bursting out and changing the hue of his skin to red, to blue, to orange and black, purple and green, magenta and cyan, a kaleidoscope of colors like the big bang theoryāheās a new universe stretching and expanding and these two are his first and only planets, never to be let go.
He feels stripped bare in front of these twoāis his every thought and want obvious in his face and every motion now? Do they see, now, how much he wants them? How much heāloves them? Is it obvious, now, that when he speaks to them heās speaking like thereās a lodge of do you think of me when youāre alone without me wanting to burst out from his throat? That he aches alone in the center of a crowd when he doesnāt have them beside him? When he has them beside him, even, because theyāre not really his to have? Does it show? Do they know? Do they care to know? Does he care to show them?
Tee breathes out loudly, ragged and deep. Joe shushes him, blows air against the curve of his C7. JaāMarr surges up, presses kisses against his wet cheeks and babbles unknown words to him like heās speaking through his shitty mic on stream. Tee would miss it, if their randomly scheduled streams were ever to peter off. Tee would miss them, if they were ever to fade away from him.
āBaby,ā JaāMarr coos, āsweetheart, my sweet, my love, my heart, my gorgeous,ā
Tee shudders away against his lips and feels the man behind him curve a smile against the skin stretched over his cervical spine.
āMy baby,ā Joe joins in, voice jokingly grave, āmy gorgeous, my sweetāā
āāquit copying me,ā JaāMarr whines, cutting him off, but heās grinning against Teeās lips, so he knows heās just doing so to be annoyingājust to put a smile on Teeās face and itās working, Tee huffing wetly against the stretch of his grin.
āāmy number five,ā Joe continues on without pausing, barely a fletch in his voice, āmy silly rabbit, best hands in the league, insane body control, prettiest smile in the whole fucking world, favorite receiver to throw toāā
āHey now,ā JaāMarr whines in earnest now, hands reaching around Teeās body to stab around blindly at their quarterback. Tee breaks down in laughter for real this time, collapsing fully on the man in the bottom of the pile, letting JaāMarr find a whole other thing to whine aboutāāteeeeee youāre crushing me you ass, joe donāt you fucking try it!āāand there was ice creeping from every distal edge of his limbs to the core of him, but thereās nothing but warmth now, chasing it away, clouding his head, keeping him sane.Ā
āBut really now,ā Joe interrupts, tugging his hips up impatiently, āI really wanna fuck you, do you wanna?ā
Right. Jesus. Joe fucking Burrow, everyone.
JaāMarr hums, peppering his cheek with kisses again, ever so free with his sweet affections. āTen out of ten,ā he says, āwould recommend.ā
Tee stares sideways at him, still settled with his weight fully on him. āThat a full Yelp review for a Joe Burrow fuck?ā
JaāMarr sighs dreamily, scratching at Teeās sides, āDo you really want one?ā
Jesus.
Tee wiggles around, dragging his body against JaāMarrās and the man beneath him giggles when he brushes his fingers deliberately against his sides. He twists until heās peering at Joe, squinting at him and pretending that the man didnāt just suck his dick so good Tee cried and stared at him like a second coming of Christ. Blasphemous, sacrilegious, irreverent, and yet, he has yet to be struck down and smittenāor perhaps he already has, and this is all a byproduct of his imaginary ruin.
āThink you can make it good?ā He asks imperiously, already knowing in his bones this man would be as good at fucking as he is at literally anything else, as well evidenced by his previous attempt at giving Tee what was possibly the best blowjob of his life just, what, 40 minutes prior?
Joe scoffs, ducking his head down and pecking at his lips. āI just sucked your dick to incoherency, the fuck do you mean ācan i make it goodā? I got a pretty mouth and a pretty dick, think for yourself.ā
Tee chokes in sheer disbeliefāheart stuttering a bit at the brief press of lips but what-the-fuck-everāthe ego on this man, jesus. He flicks his eyes to the pink of his lipsāshining, distracting, real fucking prettyāthen, well, down past the puffy nipples and golden dusting of chest hair and layer of fat over abs to the nice curve of a cockāthick and long, veiny, a blushy pink head, a weirdly sexy little jolt like itās show-ponying, like it knows heās watching it and wants to show it likes itāthat Joe likes Tee watching him. Yeah, real fucking pretty dick, too, damn it, fuck Joe Burrow.
Tee whines, turning back around to bury his faceāknowing damn well itās burning red even through the dark of his skināin the curve of JaāMarrās neck and tries not to let the dual laughter of the boys whoāve quite literally captured his heart stutter it too much. Failed, but whatever, heās got way too much practice over the years regulating his heartbeat to normalcy around these two.
Joe goes to scrape his teeth along the top his spine again and Tee shivers, feeling like prey caught in the maw of a tiger, which really wonāt doāheās a fucking bengal too, damn it. He bucks his hips back firmly, makes sure to rub the curve of his ass against the hard of his quarterbackās dick and hides his satisfied smile against his fellow receiverās jaw when Joe gasps loud and startled, hand coming to grip at his hip hard, probably leaving bruises for him to brush his fingers wonderingly over later on.
JaāMarr snickers approvingly, pressing his jaw back firmly against Teeās mouth, āYeah, tell him whoās boss, make him work for it.ā
Tee presses a kiss right to the tender skin below his jawbone, leaves it there for a beat, two, three, feels like maybe he can make out the faint fluttering of his heartbeat against his lips, then lets up to say drily, āPretty sure all your raving reviews does wonders for his ego. Donāt act like youāre not to blame here, Mr. Joe Burrowās Numero Uno.ā
JaāMarr just shrugs unapologetically the best he could, pressed down as he is with Teeās full weight all over him to the bed, never really one to be shy about his near piety to one Joe Burrow when itās just them three. Heās been circling indistinct little patterns on the skin of Teeās hips the whole time, but he stops for a minute to reach a hand up and tap a little rhythm teasingly over Joeās thigh, now kneeling to the side, the only one still hard and with zero orgasms to his name that night, pouting but not admitting it.
Tee very obviously wouldnāt say no to having Joeās dick inside him but playing hard-to-get just so Joe Burrow would pout and whine about not getting to fuck him is reallyāreally fucking cute, actually, wow. Wow, god, Tee is so gone for him, he should really take a step back and regulate his entire life and emotional capacity, wow. Wow.
and in the end ā over a distance of four hundred miles, her yearning and his yearning are intertwined, as though there were no spatial or temporal interval between them (jenny erpenbeck, kairos)
After itās all done and not said, then, Teeās left naked in the middle of the hallway leading to his bathroom, unable to take the steps back to his own room where his best friends are, clutching at his towel after having just pissed, and having orgasmed three fucking times by the combined willpower of his two closest teammates, all because he scored three touchdowns for a gameāthat might possibly be his last home game with themāthat had playoff stakes. Fuck.
Heavy footsteps come up to him and he flicks his eyes up to see Joe staring him downānaked, gorgeous, sweat-slicked, his quarterback, his friend. Who had just fucked the bejeesus out of him.
Tee drags a hand down his face harshly. Stupid. So fucking stupid.
The lilt of JaāMarrās voice when he says my sweet, when heās referring to Tee as my heart, when heās saying Tee as my gorgeous. When Joe says gravely, jokingly, possessively, my number five, heās saying that about Tee.Ā
Joe catches his handsāboth of themātowel slipping away, and holds them and tugs at them until Tee is stumbling into him, lifting his chin up awkwardly so he wonāt slam it into Joeās nose but Joe doesnāt even do him the honor of avoiding it. He just tucks it into the curve of his Adamās apple and breathes in deep like a weirdo. How many times has Tee just caught him with his nose buried in JaāMarrās neck as he hugs the receiverāhow many times has he caught the man nudge his nose to the curve of Teeās shoulder, right at the base of his neck, after a game when he comes to him for a hug. Oh.
āJoe,ā Tee breathes out, trembles, wonders how heās supposed to word this out, how heās supposed to say how he feels, how heās supposed to say t
JaāMarr, breathing in his air and telling him he doesnāt want him to leave.Ā
Tee sees Joe grin down his phone at ass oāclock in the morning and knows heās reading i love you in between the letters of JaāMarrās why the fuck is all of cincy awake at 7 in the morning.
JaāMarr says hey, all sleepy with the vowel dragging and it sounds like come here, you two. Tee goes, Joe right behind him a half step away.
a little more down the line ā the only heaven iāll be sent to, is when iām alone with you (hozier, take me to church)
you do like all those pet names
he calls me all that all the time joe says nosing behind tees ear
i like calling you that too tee says, amused. letting his neck bend even more, what even are the words uncomfortable stretch when joe burrow has his nose buried in the curve of it.Ā
you called me baby, jaāmarr says then, shy and a little quiet, like heās saying something he keeps close to him and isnāt sure how he should breach it out of him.Ā
i call him that, joe says next, grin audible even if its not visible from where heās pressed up behind tee
oh. tee called him baby, told him to come for him, and jaāmarr gasped into his mouth and bursted all over teeās belly, drenching him in white, whimpering as he stared into teeās eyes with his own watering but still kept it open, didn't even close it because he didnāt want to. couldn't, maybe, tee thinks again.
oh, tee says out loud for real then, bumping his nose forward to jaāmarr like he's learning that jaāmarr likes to do, okay then, baby, come here, baby, let me see you, baby.
jaāmarr laughs, bumps his nose right back. don't wear it thin.Ā
never, tee swears.
my baby, my baby, joe murmurs finally into the back of teeās neck, pressing his fingers into the insides of jaāmarrās elbows.
.
.
.
i want more thumps. i want more time. i want to waste my love on everything. give me a heart for ohio. ā(joy sullivan, instructions for traveling west, an octopus has three whole hearts)
more time together for these three, please.
WHICH APPARENTLY HEY THEY DID IT šššššš GOOD FOR THEM!!! trey next so help me!! when treys news comes out (š) maybe ill post that treymarr unfinished oblivious courting fic idk we'll see that ones more of a mess than this and also wayyy shorter lmao but anyways:::: thank u for reading through this all if u made it to this end note šš«¶ goodbye see u again whenever i have it in me to show up again akdhsjdjdj love yall bengals super bowl 2k26 Believe! or whatever it is they all say in that 2021 run š
thank you for every one of you who've come into my inbox to ask how i am by the way!!!! adore and miss you all very much <33
#my writing#ignore the shittiness of format and mess of words that don't cohere to the previous paragraphs i beg#and a whole lot of gaps between some scenes lmao well.#this is unedited and unrefined and unfinished and all those other uns#some of the paragraphs with all the // for italics are what i sent to casey in our chats btw if ur confused š used it as guidance or smth i#joeteemarr#fic: all on his mouth like liquor#oh wait ifeel like i should present some excuse as to why i checked out for a long while here#started my clinical rotations!! currently going through obgyn and dying from it bc if im being honest no one here is sane#i literally have a test tomorrow and am prepared to get yelled at for being a dumbass to my face so#cheers ā„ļø would try to be more active but no promisea ahahahahahshhs#and im actually getting ready for my night shift please pray that it goes well so i can study for my minicex through it god i am soo fucked#but i wanted to do /something/ for the teemarr contract extension!! so. well.#god they really said take both of us or not at all thats /crazy/ btw like#tee changed AGENTS so theyd construct their contracts easier and probably added each other to some unspoken clauses or whatever idk how#contract negotiations work but like this is genuinely something you only read about in football au fics thats genuinely crazy of them#ja'marr clinger extraordinaire and tee whos supremely unselfish and clings back bc ja'marr wants him to like thats fucking /crazy/ oh my god#also confessing i do still stalk here sometimes to chat with casey to get my rpf fix and i do send anon messages when i can ahhaahha :")))#hilarious if some of you can guess which ones i sent btw#ANYWYAS GOODBYENššļæ½ļæ½ļ潚«¶š«¶š«¶š«¶
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Just realised Hiccup and Jack Frost as a ship fall into the trope of double identity preternatural dude W white/pale hair obsessed with a normal dude that gets pulled into his bs because of it that's so common in Japanese media cuz of Ryokira from Devilman by Go Nagai.
You could basically make a hijack au of any piece of Japanese media that adopts the Ryokira relationship dynamic and they would fit.
I'm about to fall down a plotbunny hole I haven't gone down since I was 13.
#httyd#hijack#rotg#frostcup#hiccup haddock#jack frost#im gonna write out a list of these other ships in the tags in case anyone is curious#first of all an evangelion or persona 3 AU would HIT. with Hiccup as Shinji or Minato jack as kaworu or ryoji astrid as asuka or yuka/mitsu#also a berserk au w guts griffith and caska is there too but it would be more abt vibe and aesthetic cuz berserk is weird abt caska#yukito and touya from cardcaptor sakura is another solid one#where jack and hiccup would already be bfs but it would be jack as jackson overland and then he switches to jack frost#joshua and neku from twewy is another one that works and again u can throw astrid in as shiki too and the dynamic still fits#theres more but these are the ones that specifically came to mind while i was thinking abt it#and ykniw also just straight up ryokira devilman au#make hiccup and toothless fuse because jackson started a brawl in a nightclub to summon demons on purpose#also hi this is the first time ive used this blog to post smth in years cuz i never deleted my old hijack stuff from here#back on my bullshit so im back on my OG blog#if i wasnt starting my final yr of uni in two weeks id prob go back thru my old one shots and re edit and publish them on ao3 again#alas the reason i decided to study creative writing is also the thing i have to put aside until im done#oujinomikoto
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can someone who knows how to analyse tv shows explain to me why jessica jones s1 is just as good as i remember it being, s2 is more disappointing with every episode, and s3 is so forgettable i didnt even remember it existed and thought i must not have seen it
#i had. i just didnt remember it bc it's very forgettable. im watching it rn and forgetting it as i do tbh#i dont understand why these seasons feel so different when as far as i can tell the writing team is not like necessarily drastically change#or anything?#s1 feels purposeful. with a goal. holds its tension. focused#the others just get.........loose#like the villain of s3 rn is some guy they keep calling brandt and i dont know who he is or what he has DONE#which granted is partially on me. im multitasking watching#but s1 was like kilgrave villain. hope victim. jessica protagonist#clear what her issues were. clear (i think?) on the themes#the themes and plot felt like.......harmonised?#s2 just felt weird to me with the anger issues and the mother stuff#like i just couldnt really.........../buy/ the themes as they seemed to kept stating them in the dialogue and stuff?#jessica being afraid to be like her mother felt way less real than her ptsd about kilgrave#like that felt REAL .tangible. anger and fear and superhero bullshit in equal amounts. really captivating#in s2 every time she was like 'wah im afraid to be a killer' idk i just...didnt really buy it? felt a bit hollow#and then the whole relationship with her mother idk. not saying it has nothing real but it just all felt.....ungrounded or smth i guess?#s3 i dont even know whats going on#the only thing im enjoying about s3 is that her drunk spleenless self-destruction spiral is exactly how i like to write later seasons 13#so im fond of the type#and im fond of jessica#but where s2 felt........tenuous. s3 just feels entirely aimless#idk if it's just me#as real and complex the kilgrave situation felt - thats how not real and hollow the mother situation feels i guess?#maybe thats the difference im feeling#and maybe to other people s1 feels just as hollow and bad. i wouldnt be surprised#but idk to me it feels like in s1 the focus was kilgrave-jessica. the real human experience there with a seasoning of superpowers#whereas s2 felt more like the focus was the superpowers and like they kinda tried to put some real human stuff in some set superpower plot#plot and theme less tailored to each other. they already told the story they wanted to tell in s1#great genre+story match#s2 and 3 are just redundant and they feel like just watered down i guess
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Over on Genshin twt, people are sharing their favorite clips of Genshin's OST because of this take:
Here's the general response:

Genshin's OST is legit one of the most ambitious, beautiful, global, and interconnected video game OSTs on a global stage right now. It brought together people to love Chinese Opera, Swahili singing, niche Classical pieces, Middle Eastern styles, and so much more around the world. Not fucking joking it is majestic.
Here's some of my other fav responses:
There's literally so many posts about how much people love this OST. I love this OST so fucking much too. God bless Hoyo-mix.
#I do not PLAY about hoyomix#even for their work in other games. in hi3 hsr zzz literally all their music work#if theres smth they do NOT play abt its always their damn music that shit stays quality#ok enough hyv glazing i should go back to being a hater (genuine criticisms im trying to write coherently)#but also Im genuinely having fun with this game these days so. well. yeah#back to screaming abt VERSION 5.7 BABYYYY#I love this ost so fckin much I could dedicate so many hours like#just researching to dissect them#make me bored enough I'll make an actual vid essay yt channel falkdsjlkjdasaaaaaaaaaa#in the meantime I'll just scream on Tumblr#evelynpr genshin#genshin impact#hoyomix#hoyoverse#genshin ost
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why do i love the conflict more than anything else . the misery . the incompatibility that spreads like oil slick . wanting so desperately for resolution that never comes . hmmm
#its the allure of like . mismatch btwn right person / wrong time . maybe in personal development and such#or wrong person / right time and trying 2 make it work but the circumstances are set 2 separate you#i think the guilt ford harbors over his relationship w fidds is good and i think hes had a lot of reflection . 30 yrs at least#but i dont rly care for like a . HELPP SRY IM LIKE talking to myself#i dont rly care āifā they got back tgether in the end#fanon wise or whagever obviouslyy . no avrually emma-may kicking fidds out over the xmas thing its over HELPPPP#i feel like i always hve to clarify bc then theres that one guy whos like āsmth smth you cant read . ooc loser .āidgaf . not gaffing today#i think mcguckets decision to forgive him is rly sweet And i do like the recognition of .. the whole incident being a misstep on both their#parts ykwim ? like ford was an ass for sureee but also mcgucket + memory gun was his own autonomous detriment#but#no i cant read the other tags i was writing i forgot where i was at#anyways im so obsessed w like . this being such an imperfect event with imperfect equals#ford theory and fidds the mechanics . which brw im also obsessed w how That is revered in canon .#but yeah like imperfect event imperfect people who shared an incredible connecfion in my freaking mind#that was ultimately squandered to fords pride and fidds reticence#ugh like i love the rise and fall i love the strenght of their connection generally corroding over time#its just such a cool motivator for both themselves and like its a history they share together and post weirdmageddon get to finally think a#knowing now what they didnt have the tools to recognize then#idk.^__^ they r so crazy to me . playing w them like dolls in my head#fiddleford mcgucket#stanford pines#gravity falls#every time i think ab this wrt every challeneged dynamic i think ab mars in the discord#talking ab x and y charas epic divorce arc#and im not even saying this to discredit Good relationships in media#bc those have a wealth of fun and interesting concepts or dynamics to dive into#its just something ab like . poetry of anger bro . and how love and hate can feel so similar and be borne from the same place#how one can transform into the other and back again due to . idk whatevee the hell theyve got going on^#prev post got me wishing we had more meat to the fallout#or that it was extended in content or scope . i want 2 see how they dealt with losing the other and then
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Rewatching episode one, I noticed that when Ragatha and Jax are talking to each other about Jax having a key, Pomni flinches away from, and lifts her arms to protect her face and head, when Jax toys with the key and catches it near her.
I wonder if she is that jumpy around others normally or if it's just when she's in a stressful situation (like suddenly being trapped in the circus) what do you think?
OK. ok. you mention this. and ive never said anything about it but i have genuinely noticed this almost every time ive seen that scene. i think about it a LOT but i havent been able to figure out my thoughts on it. but i think about it genuinely a LOT...
(i went on a huge tangent abt her thats like. only sporadically related to this specific moment SORRY. it was hard to address this moment without discussing a LOT about her i feel)
for the sake of clarity in the event someone reading this is unfamiliar, what this ask is referring to is this:
with the way that she so quickly dissociates and HARD (not that most people Never experience dissociation or smth, but its the intensity of it and how quick into this situation she starts dissociating is like. it makes it seem like its smth her body and mind are Used To Doing) she REALLY gives off the feeling that she had pre-existing mental health problems (i struggle to place anything TOO specific with the limited information we have but i feel like theres definitely a few things she has going on) before she even got to the circus, and like she COULD just be a naturally jumpy person, but with the dissociation thing and general distrust towards others, it feels like her jumpiness is also related to these issues
while her being naturally nervous is sort of implied and clear (though i think the extent of it is exaggerated by the circumstances of the pilot in particular) there ARE a few other examples that stand out to me
i THINK this can largely be passed off as her just being on edge from the horror adventure, but i this is IS notable that she reacts genuinely pretty strongly to what is a relatively minor 'jumpscare.' it happens later too w kinger pressing the tape recorder
in general she seems VERY easily startled by people, and frankly it reads a lot like it stems more from people being near her than just things happening abruptly. she notably doesnt jump hard when the angel arrives- she DOES get scared, but she isnt necessarily startled. she DOES react very strongly to ghostly, but i think its notable that she seems to find his visual appearance frightening and debatably not necessarily startling, but thats not really 100%. the times she reacts the strongest have to do with people, which imo ties HARD into her not trusting people
episode 2 breaks down her distrust of people well, and i dont think its a self consciousness thing. it seems more that she just doesnt tend to find people trustworthy- if something bad was happening to her, she would sooner assume theyd let it happen rather than help her. it could be argued that its partially a guilt or projection thing with ragatha, but im not actually so sure. pomni seems to be ashamed of leaving her behind, but particularly through ep 2 she doesnt seemed Plagued With Guilt by the way she acts towards ragatha, which implies that the dream didnt have to do with her projecting that shame in a way shed assume ragatha would turn back on her, too
it instead seems to be that she doesnt trust ragatha just... in general. the 'im not a child' thing, while a legitimate problem for pomni to have with ragatha (i love ragatha, and from my place in the audience i know her concern is genuine, and that she truly wants to encourage pomni, and is trying, but from the perspective of people around ragatha, its not an unreasonable assumption that shes JUST being infantilizing and belittling), does illuminate how pomni is seeing ragathas attempts at cheering her up- that it comes from a place of seeing pomni as immature or generally unstable. that pomni is incapable of managing herself and needs to be coaxed. it implies pomni doesnt see ragathas attempts at help as genuine. combined with her dream, that ragatha would allow the worst to happen to her even when she was asking for help, makes it very clear that, even with the 'nicest' person in the circus, pomni just... doesnt really trust her
(it is worth noting that pomni DOES seem to genuinely want to help ragatha in the pilot. she DID try to find caine. but she bolts at the first opportunity. she does care about people, but when stressed, she operates on keeping herself safe first and foremost, that she needs to do anything to get out of a bad situation even if that means leaving someone behind- and with her dream, it does seem that she generally assumes other people operate similarly, or otherwise in their own best interest)
this does, of course, improve by the end of eps 2 and 3. the funeral, and ragatha offering to include her, and how the others talk about abstracted players (combined with her conversation with gummigoo, someone who she has to assure has genuine friendships with those around him despite the lack of a true reality for them to be based upon), are able to convey that oh, these people do actually care about the people around them. theyre being genuine. they arent just looking out for themselves and thats it- they care when bad things happen to each other. and theres no true reason for me to be an exception. which is ALSO why i dont think its a self consciousness thing, she seems able to reason that shes not an exception to the intents of others, so much that when she cant assure herself that others' intents hold her safety as any sort of priority as well, any trust goes out the window. she WANTS to help if she can, but esp in the pilot, as far as shes concerned, its everyone for themself when shit gets bad, including herself
ep 3, she seems more trusting of ragatha- she has neutral and positive interactions w her, rather than assuming a lack of sincerity in it. but its not just ragatha, actually, because even before her talk with him, you can see it in how she interacts with kinger as well
she initially tries to help him run, which isnt too out there- with how she genuinely DID initially try to help ragatha, it doesnt require her to go out of her way to grab him and RUN. she can run AND take him with her. she can help without putting herself in extra danger. but then she DOES go back, which is one of my favorite and imo underrated pomni moments. because THIS is what i think actually highlights an improvement in how she sees the others before her apologizing to ragatha or taking kingers hand. because she puts herself BACK into (percieved, since its not actual sure WHAT the angels intentions were her) danger in order to get kinger away too
(theres probably a case to be made that ragatha didnt seem to be in immediate danger- she was in pain, that much was clear, but kaufmo had ran away by then. but even still, pomni couldnt have known kaufmo would shift gears and start chasing her instead of ragatha that first time. and i dont know if she actually knew death wasnt possible here yet. which isnt very flattering for pomni but also people do not act in flattering ways under extreme stress, esp given a predisposition to not trusting others, which ill elaborate more on in a second here- not that pomnis abandonment was ok OR that it was like evil of her or smth. shes just a person. there is no way she was prepared to know how to act correctly in this situation, and she didnt)
theres also this
which is SUBTLE but highlights a genuine increase in trust even before their heart to heart. now that she knows the cast (save for jax, who she seems to react to the harshest, which is worth noting imo) are not acting solely in their own best interest, that they WILL consider the wellbeing of those around them including her, that their concern for one another is genuine (which is concerning that she even assumes that to begin with, which ill circle back to momentarily), she very clearly has way more faith in them and the idea that she should stick around the others for safety
and of course, ive said it before, but her taking kingers hand has little to do with her enjoying holding hands. its her knowing that, if kingers wrong, this is going to end very, very badly. if holding their breath isnt the solution theyre BOTH going to get possessed, and who knows how theyd get out of that situation. but she decides in that moment that her trust in the others isnt ONLY about looking out for them and believing that theyre sincere in their concern for her. but that she is willing to let the others put her at a potential massive risk. getting possessed was a blatantly immediately traumatic experience- and she lets kinger put her at risk of it happening again. THATS why she holds his hand, at least symbolically. she doesnt like contact. but she can brave something that she doesnt like, she can let him lead her into and through something potentially horrific, because shes deciding to trust him and the others, that theyre not just people she can interact with without fear of ill intentions, but that theyre people who she is going to coexist with. the best thing she can do for herself and the others is trust them and work with them actively
anyway that got off-track, the point being that her having to have these ideas instilled in her at all through shared experiences and trauma implies that, while these issues with distrust may have been exacerbated by the stress of everything, they didnt come from nowhere. these are problems she likely already had to some degree. its great that theres been improvement but that improvement directly implies thesse were improvements that needed to be made to begin with. and the fact that the person she gets repeatedly most startled by is jax. who, even with episode 2, she explicitly doesnt trust. in the pilot, at least, her distrust is more vague (i think the dream sequence in ep 2 IS what highlights it best) so her flinching from jax can be passed off as related to a general lack of adjustment to the new environment and situation shes in. but it happens again with jax in episode 3 (and, notably, she pauses afterwards but it takes a moment for her to relax even knowing its just jax), after shes adjusted somewhat, and after shes gained some trust with everyone except for jax (given his absence from the scene at the end of ep 2). it also happens when barons voice plays abruptly next to her
point being that imo, she IS naturally jumpy. she says herself that she doesnt handle jumpscares well, which somewhat implies this even outside of the circumstances of the circus. but with how she reacts to things, it feels like her general jumpiness is far, far worse when it comes to people she doesnt trust (be it because jax is Like That, or because shes not familiar with baron). the way i see it, then, her distrust extends to perceiving physical threats easily around people she hasnt ensured are safe to be around. she IS able to gain this trust in people, but she seems to automatically place the intents of others as being Potentially Unsafe from the jump, especially under stress. she can jump back from it fairly quickly for what its worth, but to be honest, it seems more like she operates on some general, everpresent level of hypervigilance thats just sometimes worse based on the situation
and frankly i dont think we know enough about her as of ep 4 to fully determine if there IS a reason for this. because someone can have a reason to be this jumpy around others, or they can just... be nervous and dislike people moving suddenly near them. combined with the dissociation thing, though, im inclined to think the circus did not cause this, just made it more extreme with more unpleasant stakes. there is hardly any time between her entering the circus and this happening. she hadnt even seen kaufmo yet in that very first example, but she was already on alert for a physical threat, and i just. i think about it all the time...
i think the main takeaway from all of this is that i think she isnt necessarily jumpy like that all the time, but i think trust is not a given with pomni, and her jumpiness massively depends on how much she trusts people near her and the situation shes in to not be a physical threat to her. its definitely worse in the circus, but i think it was probably still something present in a different context in the real world, too
#ask#tadc#tadc pomni#circus discussion#i have no clue if this is like. cohesive at all but i feel like theres a LOT going on w this aspect of her character#but a lot of it isnt definitive#the best i can do is point out what things seem related and which aspects of her character seem related to this#im jsut hoping i didnt miss anything or misremember smth bc if i type this many words abt smth and forget smth vital that changes things#or if i incorrectly attributed things together that dont actually make sense to be connected#ill die badly#if it means anything. and this is more speculative#i think that pomni probably had either some relatively prominent mental health problems. genuine trauma. or both#prior to entering the circus#though i actually dont think the definitive answer of which one or any specifics in general about it matter much#so much as the fact that shes like that and thats. just how she is at this point in her life#from a writing perspective i dont think its quite relevant to know the exact reason if we can deduce that she is the way she is now#it informs who she is now but in a more vague way where knowing an exact why stops mattering#esp in comparison to the idea that she CURRENTLY is having to cope with the things happening NOW#not that the context doesnt matter at all but it likely wouldnt change much abt how shes written#if we get more insight on her wrt this i dont think its going to be descriptive#i think the show gives snippets of their human lives for the purpose of humanizing them and emphasizing the fact#that they did have very realistic human lives before all of this and that cant really be removed from them#it influences who they are today#but knowing about it in extreme detail esp with pomni wouldnt add much and would effectively be redundant#anyway!!! sorry or your welcome for the 2k word response to your ask#not sure if thats what you were hoping for or not HAHA#...and not sure how much of this makes sense honestly ive been working on it for 3 hrs now#so if its a little messy its cus im trying to keep track of everything ive written over 3 hours despite distractions#BUT it was fun to answer!!! i think about her every day#gif
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