#im gonna fucking d IE

[sibling-neighbor-comrade]

//KINGFISHER

Oh Diemos I was talking to squad lead and referred to members of my pirate family as my cousins and from ACROSS THE ROOM saw bodyguard raise her eyebrows as she overheard.

COUSINS. IMPROPER NOUN. NO "THE" IN FRONT OF THEM JUST COUSINS REGULAR COUSINS I HAVE NO AFFILIATION WITH GG_UNCLE PUT YOUR EYEBROWS AWAY.

[haunted-calathea]

I feel like shit !!! I need time to heal but this is America and everybody has shit to do so I can just shirk my responsibilities bc of a few aches & sprains bc then my parents (who are working) would have to pick up my slack! This shit is so unfair!

[cadaveerie]

the things i'm the most and least excited about for Dragon Age: The Veilguard!

includes DATV spoilers from the trailers and articles

i might continuously edit this post until the game actually launches as we receive new info!

all of these have been confirmed by the devs, except for those in which i clarify the opposite (ie: those that i write with a "possibly", which have probably been only suggested). if you want the source for any of these specifically let me know!

and a big shoutout to felassan for answering my question, because i started wondering if i just made up the 'pause during cutscene' thing, and I couldn't for the life of me figure out where I'd heard that lol

anyway, here it is!

GENERAL

no EA app or online mode/internet to play the game

pause during cutscenes

interruptible and resumable banter

no micro-transactions

CC

the character creator!!! - more diverse bodies, better (and darker. and better dark) skin tones and afro-textured hair!

change of voice pitch for Rook!

trans Rook! they/them Rook! and the ability to express that in-game!

b-bulge slider.......? t-tittie slider?????

different lighting options in character creator :]

in-game name suggestions for rook :]

nudity :D:D:D SEXOOO

PURPLE ROOK!!!!! (sarcastic/charming, like hawke. im gonna be insufferable to solas specifically)

CHARACTERS

"not that skeleton, but we're not saying no skeletons" as an answer to whether we can romance manfred (..... the fuck. idk what that means but... im game)

bi/pan romanceable companions! - it makes me happy, especially as someone non-binary and genderfluid. i'll die on this hill

paraphrasing: “the most romantic game yet”..... mmmm… yes….

the companions overall... i rly like both the designs and what we know of them

"are there companions gifts again" John: "(...) you very well might find things in the world that certain companions would appreciate!"

John: "Not going to get into specifics on interactables, but there is more to do in the Lighthouse than conversations with companions. The Lighthouse does have a kitchen, and your companions acknowledge it/use it both narratively and ambiently. Some maybe better than others."

more focus and intentionality on the companions' stories and relationships! yay!

inquisitor presence :D

maybe solas and inky? - not confirmed that they'll interact, but pleaaaase let them. no matter if it's a romance, friendship or hateful relationship, i need to see a reunion

the relationship between solas and rook! - from what they'd said it looks like they're gonna have a fun dynamic!!! i hope that it's kind of a bad relationship but that at some points there can be some appreciation, or respect. i think they said that it could be change, depending on you

cameos!!! - we know there will be some. confirmed morrigan cameo! my bets for others are on dorian (and mae), fenris (copium), zevran (copiumx2). and maybe these are reaches but... perhaps cassandra? leliana? illario? alistair? sten? either way im looking forward to it!

700 characters (wtf)

140,000 lines of dialogue (wtf x2. almost double of Inquisition's (80,000))

DREADWOLF WOLF FORM! DREADWOLF WOLF FORM!!! *scratches his belly*

LORE

visiting places we have never seen before like Tevinter, Antiva, Anderfels, Nevarra, Rivain, etc

more thedas deep lore!!! - elven gods! and this hasn't been confirmed, but since we'll go there... will there be tevinter lore? anderfels lore? rivain lore? antivan lore? titans lore (my theory is because of Harding)!?

GRAPHICS and CUSTOMIZATION

possibly a camera mode

beautiful textures!

beautiful landscape!

very nice hair physics! (big improvement)

gear customization + transmog

enable/disable helmets for cutscenes

COMBAT

I rly like the subclasses… they feel so…. gothic

combat looks more dynamic overall!

combos with the companions!

finisher animations!

mages can move while attacking apparently?

and they^ can use staffs, daggers and orbs :0

parry + shield toss :0

and i'm just excited to see how it actually feels while playing and how everything progresses!

things I'm kinda sad/disappointed about. just a little

only can bring two companions along (probably a 3 party total?)

probably no trans, they/them or they/x companions? :( (im assuming there will be characters that are trans (mae) and go by them/them or multiple pronouns, but i mean companions specifically)

only 7 companions. i was a little disappointed at first but tbh im fine w it now haha

they haven't talked about rook as a character much so im a little worried about that, their personal journey, their dialogue etc :')

that rook doesn't seem to have different beginnings depending on his origin :( not a huge deal but tbh i loved that about origins

can't choose multiple pronouns :( perhaps it's possible? they've explicitly said that you can go by he, she or they, but i don't think that implies multiple at the same time. it can't be that hard to program it so that it randomly changes between two or more pronouns, right? idk about game development so i dont actually know, sorry if i'm ignorant

this is suuuper nitpicky but in relation to the graphics.. i kinda wish the skins looked slightly.. different? idk how to put it, but they look kind of smooth? maybe too much? i just wish they had a little bit more texture, it kinda looks like they have a beauty filter, imo, and i think it would look better if they look slightly differently

and i have mixed feelings about how the characters are stylized overall. like... y'know, the whole "cartoony" discourse. at first i didnt like it at all, but since we've seen more im way more on board. still... i kinda feel like some things could look a bit nicer

idk how i feel about how the darkspawn look. like it's not a huge deal to me either, but... i just wish they looked different. lol. they do look a little bit goofy

and idk if i like the... veiny/nervous system looking-thing in demons either? like, i like it in theory but tbh in practice im not too sure

the remake of the warden's logo :((

that's it!

tbh im just happy about most things they've said and shown so far. i think a lot of these things are a good sign. also, things like the "not ea app necessary" make me inclined to believe that this is something they've had to fight for (cause you know, if ea could choose they'd do things their way) and that's something i appreciate a lot. that's why i think this and a lot of other choices and changes they've made in relation to the last game, are good signs that they've listened to our feedback in a lot of things! and i hope this reflects in the entirety of the game. i hope it's the case. idk i'm positive about this game! a little scared ofc, because i care and i want it to be as good as possible, but excited nonetheless!

are there things i didn't include but that you are excited about? what are you looking the most forward to, overall? i'd appreciate to see your excitement and know what you like the most!

[saltymothball]

my unpopular takes on beetlejuice beetlejuice SPOILERS!! (long post)

(i am a fan of the original pls do not come for me) these are just my thoughts on the sequel :D please feel free to add yours too

context! im writing these notes as i watch so theyre a little disorganized

for reference i also rewatched the original immediately prior to the sequel

not opening with the classic beetlejuice muisic ?? even the stage show opens with that music where is it (EDIT- restarted it and it actually does open w the music, but it is much less fun/campy an and more of a spooky remix so i forgot)

its not plot necessary but i do wish we learned how BJ fixed his shrunken head and death by sandworm

where are the maitlands ???? 0 mention of adam and barbra at the beginning ?

BJ's ex wife intro was a very creative concept but i wish they did it with more sfx props and less cgi/green screen

Astrid is like very boring, theyve done nothing to get the audience (me) invested in her?? disney wish vibes like who is she

call it a headcanon i feel like lydia wouldnt be this fucking awkward of a parent ?? she had good role models ie adam and barbra (even if her own parents werent as active, by the end of the original movie it implied they were now living in a healthy family dynamic

the mother daughter drama feels really forced, reminds me of the out-of-place tension between wednesday and morticia in the 2023 show

all angles are super close up and feel like horror angles. the scene where astrid befriends that boy ?? felt like someone was gonna come up and kill them the ENTIRE interaction (edit i guess that makes sense but it nerfed the scene)

IMMEDIATELY knew his parents are dead btw. not showing their faces is so clearly they are dead. not an ounce of mystery. theory the boy might be a ghost too?

theory astrids dad isnt dead bc Lydia cant see him

the witching hour wrong ?? last i knew it was 3am not 12am. weird thing to get wrong

its like not a silly campy vibe ?? its like uncomfortable.

dont like lydias new man hes pushy and gross

i miss adam and barbra

it doesnt make sense that no one taking lydia seriously ? delia knows she can see ghosts and has also experienced beetlejuice

lydias fiance is a horrid excuse for a partner (how tf did she meet him like did he just walk in bc the plot needed another person to hate lydia

not the dead protester joke :(

the spill-your-guts/pregnancy felt really idk,,, icky??? dont know how to explain it but it uncomfortably long

follow up- a lot of the visual ghost gags felt very gross/gorey ? like in the original movie the gags were inbetween silly/sexual/spooky-but this one feels more like blood and guts instead of spiders and snakes. exhibit A) otho casually shoving corpse barbra out of the way when looking at the closet with delia / exhibit b) the guy with the cigarettes at the end of the original

theory that astrid is going to end up seeing ghosts by the end of the movie

love the "eeee!" noise BJ makes when people say his name

ok BJ with the guitar after lydia tells him off was legitimately funny

i know astrid is an angsty teen but my god she is so hostile towards lydia

calling it at 56mins the boys parents are SO dead bc they deliberately didnt have lydia meet them

listen i have nothing against jenna ortega but it feels like she is type-casted to play exactly one character now, like let the girl play something other than a monotone gothy teen

"they found a loophole and moved on" okay whatever that means

astrids awkwardness w this ghost boy is pretty cute. he is so definitely a ghost though

yup called it hes a ghost

"my mom was telling the truth... shit" lmao

this boy feels very sus bc why are you trying to bribe her w her father

still no info on how lydia and rory met ??

MURDER HOUSE ?? TH BOY IS A MURDERER ??? okay thats a good twist ill give them that

astrid going into the afterlife to see her dad feels very "lydia going to the afterlife to see her mom" plot from the stage show ?

astrid honey you have too much faith in this ghost boy

oh my fucking god delia did you really get poisonous snakes....so on brand for her

Beetlegeuse literally carrying the whole movie

every scene he's in is absolutely giving

william dafoe is pretty good too but adding him just feels like he is william dafoe and not the character hes playing (who is also an actor)

delia correcting herself from saying fuck is really funny like girl was that scripted

okay ok astrd seeing her dad working in immigration was pretty neat

i had actually forgotten abt BJs ex wife until now ? doesnt seem like she actually adds much to the story beyond giving BJ a new reason to pursue lydia... which he was already doing...?

are they all going to end up in the afterlfe wtf

the afterlife desert takes place on the fucking moon of saturn ?? okay

is it just me or is the sandworm not claymation... like maybe its just the way it looks but i swear it looks like they cgi'd it but then cut down the frame rate

damn lydias husband really got eaten by piranhas.. what a way to die oh my god

there was no real stakes to astrid switching her soul? they resolved that so fast like lydia just grabbed her and they ran

oh their husband/dad is back now everything is fixed...? like all that hate towards her mom is now gone bc her mom was telling the truth about seeing ghosts? dad just resolved the only conflict

beetlejuice didnt even help get astrid back he went on a pee break and the plot progressed

love bad cop william defoe

"are you filled with fear and trembling?" "yes im shitting my pants" absolutely gold

BJ on fetchquests this whole movie fr

the soul sucking lady please she ate bobs nametag :(

ok wtf they really solved ghost boy dilemma in 5 seconds, BJ ex machina... like he rlly just got him like that ??? anticlimactic

ok good astrid apologized for being a shitty kid

rory please stop kissing lydias neck

i kind of hate the modern nods like the self securing seatbelt in the priests car, or the influencers at the wedding, really weird unnecessary detail

BJ and Delia wedding crashers my fav

how did Beetlejuice get into the church ? if he is a demon like previously established, shouldnt he NOT be able to step on holy ground

enjoyed the slapstick moment of lydia punching rory, good moment

her red dress omg !! pretty

BJ himself is just too funny, making the priest sing top tier

i still miss adam and barbra :( if they can cgi that dead guy in star wars i think we couldve brought alec baldwin and geena davis who are in fact still very alive and look great

they really didnt make me interested in BJs ex wife other than she is pretty and looks like morticia addams ?

BJ making everybody partake in singing is very silly

everybody dancing at the wedding scene must have been fun to film, everybody looks like theyre jamming

lmao whos dog was that in the hallucinations ?? is that the dog who killed the maitlands

"ghoul squad" ok monster high

oh finally his ex is here

lydia so casually pushed out of the way lmao

why does BJ have more etherial powers than every other ghost?

offering rory to the soul sucking lady is so good

theyre really just gonna sandworm for the plot resolution again ???

his ex wife was a threat for all of 4 seconds

lol the legal marriage loophole was kinda funny

is delia like forever dead ? is she a ghost now? is beetlejuice dead?

i still love delia. "i will find charles and we will haunt you both" good for her

are the influencer wedding guests dead

everything got wrapped up very quickly

good on delia for still loving her husband even though that shark absolutely annihilated him

what ?? astrid is married now???

WHAT ??? SHES GIVING BIRTH ?????

oh ok its a dream

having a second pregnancy bit felt really weird

they alluded to another sequel :(

please remember i am actually a huge fan of beetlejuice !! no hate to the franchise these are just my personal opinions on the sequel. i would love to hear your thoughts as well !!

[sunlightfeeling]

“See You There” Concert Experience

2024.11.24 @ Port Messe in Nagoya

okay so firstly: i genuinely dont have any pictures or videos; guidelines were VERY strict to not do that and i didn’t want to play with fire even though I technically saw one person sneak at least one photo lmfao

except for this:

: )

+ map of the venue the “x” is approx. where i was sitting - i was an aisle seat; seventh row back from the front right-side; the black line in the middle represents the center stage runway thing

(it was assigned seating - I had no clue where I sitting until receiving the ticket from staff - and I have no idea how/when the seating is decided)

also idk if it really needs to be said but im not gonna do like a song play-by-play or write this in any sort of actual organized fashion

also I’ll probably need to make more of these because of flaky memory and horrendously long and yadda yadda yadda im v sorry lol

(i don’t wanna draft these too long and beautify/nitpick them too much so all spelling/grammar issues don’t exist and if you notice them fixed.. they were always like that 😇)

okay with thaaaat out of the way~

I can’t describe the feeling seeing him when he got out on stage like…..he just looked unreal

like not just drop dead beautiful but like a feeling of “holy fuck this dude actually exists” lmfao 😭

it’s just very bewildering after watching so many things with him behind a camera to now being within your own personal presence

I really don’t have an ego or whatever and even the times where im like “d-did he just look at me there?” it kind of feels like a joke but….i like to pretend that he did at least at some point (to which I immediately deny and it and pretty much say “no … lol~ 🤭”)

there are two..three moments that really make me wonder tho like genuinely/actually/not me being big headed lmao

smap songs were “One Chance” which is a solo so really only half-smap 😔; “ダイナマイト”; and “KANSHA して”

he did two (I’m pretty sure it was two lmao 😭) rounds going on the trolley thingie for a few songs to go around the perimeter, and he swung one of his legs over the cage and just let it dangle to show how bendy he still is at least twice

Both rounds included the smap songs (One Chance on the first, other two were back-to-back on the second) which kind of felt really special??? Like……it just made me remember the smap cons that I’ve watched (and tsuyoshi perpetually getting himself into precarious situations on the stupid things 😭 [i knowwww 😒 {affectionate/lighthearted}])

something that will probably live in my head rent-free (that I HOPE he does in the actual filmed con footage not only for everyone to SEE it but because I already can’t accurately visualize it 😭) is that in Crazy Party when he says “sexy” he made THE MOST absurd and hysterical expression like making himself bug-eyed and just a very not calm/cool/demure face that matches his voice (omfg that voice…..wakes up sorry)

He made himself cross-eyed three times at the very least - probably more tho

I really tried to look AT him as much as possible but there were moments where I really just COULD NOT see him or it was just…more incentivizing? to look at the front display..

(ie when he would pop his fucking jacket open and just….expose arm (we love arm) which he did WAY TOO MANY FUCKING TIMES)

..but I did stare at his back quite a bit 😗

His outfit around when he did “No Night, No Starlight” was my ultimate fave which absolutely shouldn’t be surprising and I think it’ll be everyone’s too

which is why I won’t spoil what it looks like (it’s PEAK peak tho im virtually pinkie-promising all of you)

After NoLiNoStar, he did an MC where I think (mostly going off of his mannerisms and understanding v select words so 🙃) he talks about the difficulty of the choreo for this song and like….idk probably that he’s getting too old for this shit

personally I think he should have done a backflip and he probably CAN still do one but hey! that’s just me…… 😔

sorry to spoil but yeah there is no backflip revival I know it was on all (my) of our (my) mind 😔😔

okay there’s def going to be a part 2 but I’ll write more later waaaaah byeeeee 😭😭😭

[evereverest2]

I'm so excited to hear you might be picking up little monster again! Do you think you'll extend the fic or are you aiming to just rewrite the existing chapters? I'm looking forward to it either way :D

hi anon thanks for the ask :DD

ok i’m going on a very long rant here get ready

it’s hard to say rn. this chapter one v2 i’m writing is def different than the original version because ive hated the first chapter of v1 for a really long time— but it’s def the same characters and not necessarily a new situation for them, so hopefully it feels familiar.

when i first wrote little monster i had no plan as it it was just a one shot, so i was just making shit up as i went and thus i’ve been really unhappy with how the narrative flowed ESP in the beginning. i also had a bunch of ideas later on that i regretted not including in the early chapters and the further i went the more i resented that aspect of the story, ultimately hating my own fic bc i felt it was subpar.

so now as i write v2 im definetely aiming for a more cohesive narration that will hopefully tie together the plot points i dropped (like wanting to do more with special ghoul and sister) and the plot points i introduced late (like shit about other quint ghouls and delta and more alpha inclusion). i’ll def include big chunks of the original content, but it will all be rewritten and hopefully read even better than before.

also i’m not sure how the readers took the sudden ending, but i certainly hated it and had totally planned on writing at least 3-6 more chapters.

all that being said, my rewrite of the first eight chapters i think in itself will be an extension of what was originally there, meaning i hope it will actually be longer and more purposeful and more enjoyable for the audience. i would also like to give it a proper ending

(although i think, based on my current status in this rewrite, it might be a lot darker so that might affect audience enjoyment)

the way i ended the og series was sudden and unplanned bc i was going through a lot of things and then a lot more things happened on tumblr that led to me not wanting to be in the ghost fandom anymore, at least as this super involed writer. but i think something about perpetua and satanized and even that imperator comic kinda revamped my excitement for the lore.

this will def be a side project for me as i want to use this fic as a daily warmup to get into my original writing, but i won’t set deadlines for myself so im not going to post consistently. this could be good or bad depending on how much i stick to this plan—ie, i could post very quickly or very slowly.

so thanks for the ask!! i look forward to feeding my hungry readers

ps. idk why i feel like i should mention this but i mean it when i say im making this darker. im no longer focused on the porn as much as i am showing the very toxic relationship terzo and omega have at the beginning, so if you were already on the fence about this story its gonna start off worse. i dont think its sexy to show two people genuinely hate fucking, but it is my creative vision and i have a particular story i want to tell about a literal demon and a satanic pope and it aint gon start off fluffy that’s for damn sure

[blackvahana]

Realm creation: Dreams. Right. Ok. Do I have the energy to talk on this? Possibly.

Autovisions. It's a similar mechanism to that, except you... wow. how the fuck do I put this into words. I'll say what it's not, and that's not a process of autovision-esque creating a space. That's definitely a possibility where you hook the means of creation into creativity and autovision talk-reply-talk-reply automatic extrapolation... specifically realm creation has extrapolation built into it, this type that I'm giving an example of what it's Not Quite would be taking data from relevant things related to the Realm Weaver and automatically passing them through the RW's... soul... basically you'd be acting as an AI partly to subconsciously be saying yes and no to everything the extrapolation mechanism is throwing at you

ok. let me lay that example out properly. The realm has a seed, a self, a Material substance. Extrapolation would be the process of it expanding outside of its programme but in line with it, like how an AI character isn't the same as a game character where every line is prerecorded and prewritten. Extrapolation is the process of creating self like DNA does, except if DNA was.... winging it. lmfao. Extrapolation in the dreaming sense - in contrast to what I'm going to talk about which is a Dreaming sense - would be, in my opinion (IE I'd use the term dream for a realm that is:) utilising autovision-esque creation processes. It would reference a head consciousness, probably the Weaver, and pass things like passing memories through the unconscious by arcing to various things the RW is connected to, and then... translating them in accordance with the dream itself.

Dreams have energy, and direction, and so on outside of their contents - you could dream the exact same thing theoretically two days in a row, say going out on the lake with your dad to fish, but the first one you feel like youre drifting through a nonsensical comedy and the second you feel like the world is currently ending and this is the last thing you'll ever do. This isn't... like. dream theory, it's just a metaphorical thing/observation used as a metaphor here. Metaphorically dreams have a purpose/energy/atmosphere outside the contents and that often shapes the contents (you're more likely to be surrounded by a forest fire in the second dream example than the first). talking about this autovision dream realm weaving the "purpose" of the dream and the RW's "inspiration" get threaded together to create things beyond what the RW purposely created through extrapolation

now. Capital D Dream realm. Im gonna be honest, I think the difference is the consciousness of the Weaver and their ties and aspects and so on - as in it's probably the same thing like a victorian cosplayer and a dirt-covered cowboy are, both fashion as an expression of the wearer that look different but come from the underlying "being love to dress up being love to express through clothes :)" instinct. Capital D Dream realm... The Dream itself is explicitly alive in a sense. It creates in accordance with itself, not as a servitor but as a camel's stomach expelled. Ah. God. See Im back to struggling to talk about it

(shortening Capital D Dreams to CD Dreams. It's not called that but if I start a sentence w the word Dream I need to clarify which Im talking about) CD Dreams are in a sense... it's not that they're more complex in terms of extrapolation. They're still doing the whole referencing thing - ANVD arcs through me like electricity into all things I touch and reference and so on, and it takes them, chews them up, automatically creates. But... there's more to it than that. CD Dreams are self-sovereign, or. they are sovereigns. They are bodies, not just places, people. They - they're brains. They're brains, so they fabricate a personality. It's not about what they're doing so much as who does it, you can programme the extrapolation function of a realm to be dreamlike, but the dream realm dreaming is an AI function of an absent machine, a Dream realm is an organic thing.

There's something to be said about it being explicitly a microcosm, though I think that narrows it down too much to how exactly I realm weave. My Dream realm is explicitly based on and reinforced by the microcosmic-macrocosmic bond-friction, both the pull and push of both ends of the magnet on both sides as well as the Secret Third Magnet State. But the Macrocosm as the Brain and Body of God... it takes the flesh of thew Macrocosm and grows a foetus in it. Reverse stem cells where the Macrocosm is stem cells as organs - organs as stem cells - and then... we take it down and recreate. It also, just because this is my blog and I can ramble on it, works on the principles of the Void making area-consciousnesses like the spirits of lands and cities and such, acting on the electromagnetic impulses contained by a theory of a matrix design in the way a crystal's structure is defined by a matrix of a crystal design. Like. The matrix that forms the structure of the consciousness of the Dream - the plan that, upon being filled out, will create a specific type of consciousness and personality - is not. a real thing, it's not marked out with chalk or like how people plan out minecraft builds in dirt before they use their actual resources to build (the gamerrrrr), it's just a part of the programming

which. incidentally. is why ANVD's central Self has the exact type of Mother Madness Father Ocean Primogenitor Bliss personality that I had formed the outline of and had it grow into.

Anyway! Really hard to describe, but the difference between what I'd call a dreamt realm just in a casual sense and a Dream is... the Dream is highly organic in structure. which is in itself incorrect to say because blah blah boring things its metaphorical vision talk whatever.... but anyway. The point is that you can absolutely describe a process of extrapolation built on the principles of autovisions, dreaming, where the realm is dreamt into existence, but there's something specific about Dreams that extends outside of it. CD Dreams are the sopping wet horrific bundles of flesh and organs in an amorphous gathering in the aqueducts of Creation where a dreamt realm is more just... dreamt there is a process rather than an identification

[unmotivatedartistry]

GUYS WHAT TGE FUCK

CoD MW2 spoilers

IM IN FUCKING HYSTERICS WHO DIDNT TELL SOAP WAS GONNA GET FUCKING SHOT BY FUCKING PHILIP GRAVES I KNEW THAT FUCKER WAS A TRAITOR CUZ OF SPOI,ERS BUT WHSAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED WHY DID HE GET SHOT WHERE IS GHOST WHAT ( ^^^ just got to the part where Philip Graves betrayed (?) and took over the base and shit. uhyeah)

update after like 5 minutes. nevermind ghost on comms. also is Graves fucking insane. also IM SOBBING IS SOAP GONNA D IE STILL????

anyways dont spoil anything i just. i just needed to get hysterical rq cuz my friend doesnt respond to me when I cry to them about CoD MW2 anymore

[hsmtmts-arrows]

autism maddox. you agree. send hcs

ur so right. i do agree.

OKAY this first one aint even a hc. babygirl cannot read social cues as well as she would like to believe. was ash being sarcastic there or was she being genuine? god knows.

i get the feeling she only wears the noise-cancelling headphones in situations she knows she won't get teased or bullied for it- ie with the wildcats and at camp is fine. no one's gonna comment on her being "unsociable" and how it's "rude" when she's around in those areas. especially at camp. if anyone fucking DARES comment such a thing dewey will hear and know about it. there will be consequences. he will not stand for any of this.

i get the feeling when she was younger she was always told "you can be smarter if you just applied yourself more!!" and oh im gonna MURDER jeddox's parents i stg-

she definitely has the same breakfast like every day. toast. she has it timed too so she can get the best like toast ever w her toaster in the shoebox apartment. took her a week to master the perfect toast w the new toaster

she cant get her jumper sleeves wet. whether she's just washing her hands or is out in the rain she will not. get. them. wet. she can take most things but her sensory preferences include A BIG NO to wet sleeves. nuh uh. she doesn't care if she will be in the middle of a storm that jumper is coming off to reveal a shirt of some sorts.

bae is constantly fidgeting w her hands like they gotta be doing something (stimming :D)

that's all i can think of LMFAO 🧍

[ladyimaginarium]

1. Favorite Anime? Naruto, GANGSTA., Black Lagoon, Michiko to Hatchin, Ergo Proxy, Death Note, No.6, Shingeki no Kyojin would've made this list if it was written by Jewish writers bc my& mixed native jewish ass is conflicted w/ this one, Deadman Wonderland, I& haven't finished Tokyo Ghoul yet but it's really good, I& didn't finish Kuroshitsuji either but i& rly vibed w/ the aesthetic, BNHA was... ehhhh, okay, didn't really vibe w/ the whole ableist trope of "disabled coded character magically gets new powers or becomes abled" so I& dropped it, I& know for a fact that the animated ASOIAF stuff coming up is gonna make me& reverse shit myself&. all i& know is that if the books were animated that would fix me&. 2. Your Worst Anime? Can't rly think of any tbh, I'm& picky, the closest I& could think of was the Boruto series. Mostly bc it basically destroyed any kind of development in Shippuden & shit just doesn't make sense & not to mention it slaughters Sasuke's character & just the entire female cast as a whole which im& not even gonna get into for the sake of my& own sanity. lmao 3. Do you read the Manga that go with the Anime you watch? Usually yeah but I like to keep these separate tbh. I read the manga only if I know that the anime won’t get a second season and I’m still interested in what happens next. Anyway, in short, I bother with the manga only if I really love the anime ie gangsta & naruto but I& can't watch or read long series anymore due to adhd & spoonie reasons lmao 4. Favorite Genres? action, supernatural, fantasy, science fiction, comedy, horror, psychological. 5. Least Favorite Genres? Harem mostly bc the dudes are so lame & basic lmao 6. Favorite Character? Erica ( GANGSTA. ), Beretta ( GANGSTA. ), the Benriya trio ( GANGSTA. ), basically the entire Second & Third Destroyers regiments ( GANGSTA. ), basically the entire Akatsuki ( Naruto ), basically any of the founders ( Naruto ), any of the jinchuriki & tailed beasts/bijuu ( my& plural ass vibed w/ them so hard & i& didnt even know i& was plural at the time lmao ), Michiko Malandro ( what do u think lmao ), Nezumi ( No.6 ), Uchiha Madara ( Naruto; he really is That Black Air Force Energy Icon ) Eren Jaeger (snk; LISTEN HE'S MY& INSYS BF IM& CHEATING OKAY ), Mihael Kheel / Mello ( Death Note; g-d he's so fucking iconic ), Misa Amane ( Death Note ), L Lawliet ( Death Note; aro autistic mf represent ) Marco Adriano ( GANGSTA. ), Rebecca Lee / Revy ( Black Lagoon; she could beat my& ass & i'd& thank her lmao ), Eda ( Black Lagoon; smth about a nun w/ a gun who dresses up like a bimbo at night but is actually a cia agent makes me& go WOOF WOOF BARK BARK ). others im& def forgetting lmao 7. Least Favorite Character? bitch idk 8. Qualities you like in a Character? Kindhearted, caring, badass, strong-willed, cheeky, has deadpan sense of humor. women who can beat my& ass. poor little meow meows. 9. Short or Long anime? Short these days. I& litcherally Cannot watch longer anime. naruto was my& first long anime & it'll likely be my& last lmao 10. Anime or Manga? I procrastinate both but I guess manga, mostly because I can read it without fearing that the plot will go to shit  11. How do you choose the anime you watch? If it has pretty art, if the aesthetic is pretty, if my& friends watch it 12. Skip or listen to Intros/Outros? I usually always listen. I& literally never skip Naruto, Black Lagoon or the GANGSTA. openings & EDs 13. How do you cope if your friends or family don’t like you watching anime? most ppl around me& like anime but if they don't i& dont give a fuck?? like. why the fuck should i& care what other ppl think lmfao 14. Do you stop an anime midway if you don’t like it? I& sometimes drop anime for no reason whatsoever. lmao It’s a waste of time if it doesn’t hold your attention, let alone if you don’t like it. it's somewhat what happened w/ bnha as explained above. i& just really dislike that trope as a disabled & neurodivergent system lmao 15. Who are you tagging to do this? @librastrai @dethqveen @abri-chan & whoever else wants to do this !!

[anatomicalheart]

obligatory info.

kris, 21, it/its only with no fucking exceptions. transsexual agender aroace goat-thing fag.

host of a did system (yes, professionally acknowledged, so please dont send this shit to fdc or any of that). level 2 autistic, borderline, psychotic, & physically disabled, amongst other shit. dont ask, thanks!

csh freak. theistic satanist. knife collector. cr*pplepunk, ne*ropunk, & sch*zopunk.

obligatory dni under the cut.

read it, i dont care that its long.

blog warnings below as well.

censoring a lot of this so it wont show up in searches.

maps/nomaps. zoos. pr*ship/c*mship/etc. pro-c*ntact & anti-r*covery p*ra.

t*rfs. transmisogynists. tr*nsmeds. against x*nogenders, ne*pronouns, or it/its pronouns. anti-hesbians/shegays/etc.

z*onists, pro-isr*el, or neutral on the matter. pro-war losers and proud capitalists as well, you can all rot.

ableists & sanists. disability f*tishizers. “asp*rgers” users. “n*rcissistic abuse” supporter. use “n*rcissist/s*ciopath/schizo/psych*tic” as an insult. think low empathy = evil. against thoroughly researched self-dx. anti-ag*re/p*tre. f*tphobes.

tr*nsID (ie tr*nsrace, tr*nsabled, tr*nsage). transsp*cies exempt as long as youre not weird about it.

those who use the terms “sysm*d” or “tr*mascum”. what the fuck is wrong with you.

dr*amsmp or h*zbin h*tel fans.

those into dd|g/abd|/etc. personal boundary.

chr*stians. personal boundary.

end*genic syst*ms. personal boundary.

warnings.

i reclaim queer slurs. i wont censor or cw them.

if i piss you off i dont care. if you try to get on my ass im just gonna block you.

may post: illustrated nudity (without a cw), drugs/substances, suggestive shit, potentially triggering topics (usually with some sort of warning), disturbing imagery.

may also post about mental health. which is part of the reason lots of my brain shit is listed.

sometimes i block with no warning or notable reason. dont try to argue about this or get me to unblock you, im just gonna double down.

[doverstar]

FINALLY someone i cant be a Hater about the new pjo series with!!!! im just gonna list some grievances as someone who has watched the trailer. first and foremost in my opinion is what the fuck are they doing with the gods?? like at least the kids look correct in costume with set trappings etc, Ares rolls up in a non-descript black shift essentially looking like a garbage sack full of potatoes when hes supposed to be the most intimidating the most bad ass the most biker gang leader esque, and they have this man in a trench coat, and dont EVEN get me started on posiden!!! HE LOOKED TERRIBLE!!! OH MY GOD!!!! UR TELLING ME THIS SHLUBBY WHITE BOY WITH A BEARD THAT DONT MATCH HIS HAIR COLOR PULLED QUEEN SALLY JACKSON???? show her some fucking respect and at least give ur posiden a sexy hair cut, the dude looks like a cult leader on a commune ffs. it also looks like they are WILDLY changing some the of events?? ie hermes and mr d look like they are both at the lotus hotel???? any way thank you for being a safe space for me to unload some hate for the new series lol

Hi! Yeah, it doesn’t look very accurate at all (but neither was the movie!) and I won’t bully you for being frustrated with it. It’s rough being excited for a hopefully-faithful-hopefully-even-improving adaptation of a favorite story and then having a company disappoint you. I experienced that with Artemis Fowl.

I mean to express no hate toward the actual real people involved (cast and crew); I was just hoping for a show that captured the books well and brought it to life, maybe even made it better, and it doesn’t look like it’ll be that way even just from the trailer. I’m sure they all worked hard, and the effects look amazing, and I hope they had fun making it; it just isn’t what you or I wanted and it’s okay to be frustrated! Good thing we always have the source material to enjoy as it was written. Thanks for venting!

[jdopes-recorder]

okay you sappy ass hoes

You made me tear up fuck you

@njmweb

Im kinda shit at this but I'll try. You're one of the closest friends I've had and i can't begin to tell you how much the friends I found in the three mean to me. I never thought I'd actually find people I can be myself with and not worry about being embarrassed. You guys are just as bad. I love how supportive you are and you're just always there to talk to and talk with. With the stuff only you know was happening...you've helped me last year more than you know. It felt so good to have someone actually care and be open with me. I loved when we played roblox just to beat little kids up the entire summer and you bashed on my ice cream and bourn vita (fuck you). Every single thing you've given me (except the flower I'm so sorry it died and i didn't have a book to put it in :D), every random drawing, I have them all and im definitely gonna treasure it my whole life. You are such a copycat sometimes smh (stop listening to the same random artists it's so weird when that happens yeesh). I learned so much stupid shit from you and i love your cat memes and jellyfish. I've picked up little mannerisms of yours since I've been stuck with you for two years, and i randomly realise how I never used to do something that I do now before I met you. Thank you for being you.

@kiew-ie

wait what when'd you get a new profile 😭😭

You fkn cutie. You've been next to me (almost) everyday the last year and it's always so weird when you're absent i just sit there like 🧍‍♀️I love listening to you talk about mlp Or some other cute shit I don't know anything about. I love how we both sound like we've had helium when we're excited. When we doodle in our books and talk about any topic when we're supposed to be studying? We're stupid but i love it. I srsly love your hair and I've told you that before but idk I don't think you believed me, but I get that. Thank you for always letting me sag on your shoulder when I feel too lazy (most of the time tbh). You're so fun to be around and I've loved every minute. I love listening to you rant and even though I never know what to say, I'm always so touched that you trust me enough to tell me shit. I love you and your obsession with pink stuff <3

k well we don't have ells acc cuz she's stubborn af, but I just wanted to tell you guys that even though I never say anything or act like it, you all mean more to me than you know. I never would have ever imagined what would have happened with me just asking dhri what music she listened to. If nana didn't overhear us talking about that, if ells didn't come with leo. It crazy to me how life works. You guys gave me that happiness and peace I had been craving for years. You know how my last friend group was and how toxic it was. I never had true friends and didn't have to be on guard. I can let go of all of that with you guys, because I know you don't care and even do the same (idiots). I don't wanna lose what we have and it scares the shit out of me that we aren't gonna be together and we're gonna leave everything we've known in less than 2 months. I finally got real happiness and I don't wanna lose that again. But you know, like how I never would have seen this coming, I have no idea what will be coming for all of us. This shit is crazy. I never would have imagined you guys would be my best friends. Even though I know we'll all have our own lives and get other friends too, I know I'll never forget you guys. When I look back to mt childhood, you guys will always stand out. Thank you for everything. I guess I'm better at writing about the things I think about instead of telling it to your faces.

Don't being this up tmr, I will self combust.

being madly in love with someone platonically is so ridiculous. hey man i think about you all the time. i wish you were here right now. talking to you makes me indescribably happy. i miss you. honestly what the hell

[taintedcigs]

You pull back and look up at him, your eyes are shining with happiness, and the smile on your face is so bright, so beautiful. Though it’s not meant for him, is it? No. Only one man can make you this happy. Only one man can put that smile on your face. Only the one you spent your night with, the man that wasn’t him. STOP IT EDDIE SPAGHETTI U R BEING TOO IN UR HEAD!!! STOP!! BACK UP A BIT!!! COME ON!!!!

“I don’t need to listen to you! I knew I didn’t have a chance for fucks sake, I knew that I never would if he decided to come back and make things right, once and for all.” STOP IM GONNA CRY MY INSECURE BABY HE DOESTN KNOW ANYTHING HES GONNA BE SO HAPPY

“You… thought about leaving me?” You ask, not even recognizing your own voice. It’s thick with tears, shaky and so small.  OH FUCKKK?!? LOOK HE COULD NEVER DO IT OKAY!!!!!

“I thought about it. I could never fucking do it, no matter what the hell you do to me. I could never leave you. Shit, you could break my heart over and over again and I’d still be here.” EXACTLY WHAT I SAID. EDDIE COULD NEVER LEAVE HIS CHEER. SEE????

You take the necklace off, taking a shaky breath as you look at the locket. You raise your head and look back at him. You step towards him and take his hand in yours, placing the locket in his palm. STOP STOP STOPPPPPPPPPPP

All this time, you carried a picture of him inside this locket? A locket that Steve gave you months ago? A locket that was gifted by the person you cried for?IM. ACTUALLY GONNA.D IE. LIKE THIS IS KILLING ME. GOD I LOVE THEM SO MUCH FUUUUUUCK.

“I love you, Eddie. More than just my best friend,” you whisper, shakily.  “I love you,” you whisper. “I love you so much, Eddie Munson.”  Eddie doesn’t know whether to scream in joy or to cry in happiness. He grasps you harder, blinking away the tears that welled up in his eyes from your confession. IM CRYING AND SCREAMING IN JOY AND HAPPINESS AND SADNESS BC ITS SENDING AN D I LOVE MY CUTIES.

“Holy shit.” Kiss. “I can’t believe this is real.” Kiss. “I love you.” Kiss. “I love you so much, princess.”  STOPPPPP. HES SO CUTIE PATOOTIE IMGONA KILL MYSELF. THEY'RE FINALLY GETTING THE HAPPINESS THEY DESERVE TJIS IS KILLING ME IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE.

For the first time in your life, you feel like you can genuinely let yourself fall. Because even when Steve felt love for you as he said he did, it was never like this, never this unconditional. OH SHIT. THIS HURTS. BUT SO GODDAMN TRUE. YOU FUMBLED BADLY STEVE HARRINGTON!!!!!!!!!

“I get to hold you like this now, I get to tell you that I love you. I get to kiss you, I get to make you mine, sweetheart. It was worth the wait,” he says to you with all his heart.  STOPPPPPPPPPPPPPP IM GONNA CRY. HES SO CUTE N THE BESTEST BF AND THE BESTEST PERSON IN THE WORLD. AND I LOVE HIM AND I LOVE THEM AND I

“Sweetheart,” he whimpers as he keeps his eyes on you. “Y-You’re so – oh my fucking god,” he gasps out when you hollow your cheeks around him, whimpering as you start bobbing your head. OMFGGG. CHEER IS SO REAL FOR THIS. JUST GETTING STRAIGHT TO SUCKING COCK AND BALLS. A TRUE HORNY GAL LIKE ME. I LUV HER.(this isliterally them btw)

“I’m not gonna fuck you today,” he whispers as his fingers start to fumble with the buttons on your dress, “I’m going to make love to you, baby.” 

“You’re the love of my life,” he whispers into the crane of your neck before your name falls from his lips in a whimper. SCREAMING. CRYING. PERFECT STORMS. GOD ITS SO DELICIOUSLY YUMMY BUT ALSO SO LOVEY THAT I FEEL SO BLUSHY AND GIDDY. I NEED THIS MAN SO BAD LORD. I NEED TO BE THIS MANS CHEER ASAP!!!

“I can’t believe you choose me,” he whispers, unable to hide the shakiness of his voice as tears fall from his eyes and onto your bare skin. “I can’t believe you want me.” GOD IM GONNA KICK HIS INSECURE ASS BUT ALSO KISS IT BC EDDIE YOURE SO PERFECT?!?!? HOW CAN U NOT SEE IT?!?! I WANNA EAT U N KISS U?!?!

“Yeah, I yelled into my fucking pillow many nights. – I’m glad you’re amused though,” he chuckles, tickling your sides. HES SO FUNNY LMAO MY BITCHLESS BF WHO'S BAD AT MAKING THE FIRST MOVE BC HES A NERVOUS MESS. I LOVE HIM UR HONOR.

Eddie is so in love with you that he can’t even think back to a time when he didn’t love you yet.  this goddamn part. im lterally killing myself. and i mblaming y. what the hell .this shit is soromantic ms andy swift. (+my last name bc we're married smh)

“Platonic my ass.” “You always said that we’re platonic!” You laugh.  He rolls his eyes with a smile.  “Yeah, well. What did you want me to say? I am in love with her, like fucking crazy, but it’s cool, we are just friends. Does that sound better?” NOW IS THIS EMMY + ANDY SHADE?!?!?!? RUDE. ANDYKINS . RUDE.

“Wayne, this is my girlfriend,” he grins, gesturing to you. “Girlfriend, this is my uncle Wayne.” STOPPP THEY R SO IN LUV IM GONNA CRY.

“I’m gonna miss you, Steve.”

How could you ever forget Steve Harrington? THIS PART IS MAKING ME CRY FUCKING DAMMIT ANDY. I WANTED THE EDDIE ENDGAME BUT FUCK DO I FEEL BAD FOR STEVE. FUCKFUCKFUCK.

Yeah, he would rather hurt than hurt you.  That’s why he is the right one for you, Steve thinks. STOP IM OFFICIALLY GONNA CRY. WHY ARE U DOING THIS. U R SO RIGHT IT IS BITTERSWEET. IM SO HAPPY FOR THEM BUT IM GONNA CR.Y . FUCK.

“Goodbye, Stevie.” “Goodbye, Dolly.”THIS WAS THE FINAL ANAIL IN THE COFFIN. TEARS ARE STREAMING DOWN MY FACE. GOD IM GONNA MISS ALL OF THEM SO MUCH FUCK ANDY.

gOD ANDY. IDK HOW TO FINISH THIS OFF WITHOUT RAMBLING. THIS SERIES WILL ALWAYS BE ONE OF MY FAVS ON HERE. im so happy that you decided to share it with us. your writing is INCREDIBLE. your ideas are phenomenal. and i just cant believe that it ended?!?!? like FUCK 30 chapters?!? and its over?!? hOW. im gonna miss our discussions. (we'll still do it w blurbs ofc) and im gonna miss having weekly crying sessions over this. (ik ill just cry over the next one too but still LMAO) I LOVE U AND THIS SERIES SO SO MUCH. thank you for sharing your masterpiece on HERE. IDK IF I CAN SAY GOODBYE TO MY BBIES YET SO IM ALL FOR ANY IKYLLATK BLURBS!!! IM SO EXCITED FOR WHATS COMING NEXT!! ILY MWAH!!!

I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss | part 30

Warnings: 18+, MDNI. angst in the beginning, hurt/comfort. smut, unprotected sex, oral (male receiving).

Pairings: Eddie Munson x fem!reader | past Steve Harrington x fem!reader

Word count: 14k+

Summary: For the first time in your life, you fight for what you want and don't let slip through your fingers.

A/N: @hellfire--cult ROE, I don't know how to thank you for being such a big help with ideas and editing (especially in this chapter and in chapter 27) but I'd literally bake the best cake for you. thank you so so much, ilyyy 🫶🏻

series masterlist

-

The evening sun shines down on the trailer park, leaving an orangy pink cast on everything the sun rays touch. Your skin feels warm but your hands are shaking and your heart is pounding, not from fear but from excitement. You look down at yourself, at the sundress you bought on your shopping trip with Robin, last week. A smile tugs at your lips, she told you that Eddie will like the dress. 

You’ve been waiting for this moment all day and the closer you get to his trailer, the giddier you feel. You can’t wait to see him, to feel him, to kiss him. 

Despite what happened with Steve, you can’t help but feel happy even when a part of you is still feeling the sadness. 

It took some time to get your thoughts back in order and to calm the anxiety that took hold of you. You were scared that you had lost him for good this time, but when you walked back into your room and started cleaning the mess, you eyed every item that once belonged to him, you looked at the pictures that you had taken of him, the ones that were taken of the two of you together, ones from your childhood, ones from your early teens, ones from your relationship and ones that were taken recently, despite the heartbreak, the sadness, the goodbye that was shared earlier, you realized that you would be okay, that you would find your way back to each other because the bond that you share is one of a kind, a friendship like yours cannot be broken, no matter what. 

You and Steve will be okay. 

The gravel crunches beneath your shoes and the tires of your bike as you’re pushing it along next to you. You’re gripping the handlebar tightly as you run your fingers through your hair. 

You see his van first, it’s parked in front of the trailer. 

Wayne’s car is missing, he must be at work already. 

Your heart skips a beat when your eyes find him. 

Eddie is sitting on his doorstep, staring up at the pink sky. A cigarette in between his lips, he seems to be lost in his thoughts, not noticing you yet. 

You can’t fight the smile off your lips when you take in the sight of him. He looks so pretty. Your heart starts pounding faster. 

He is wearing the Megadeth shirt that you had gotten him a while back. 

He takes a drag from his cigarette before he stubs it out in the ashtray next to him. He blows out the smoke and stands up, he is about to turn around and walk back into the trailer when he sees you. 

He blinks, staring at you with an unreadable expression on his face. 

You are too happy, too excited to notice the sadness in his eyes, the dark circles beneath them. 

Your heart flutters in your chest and your hands itch to touch him. You drop your bike on the grass, not wanting to waste any more time, you rush towards him and jump into his arms and hug him tightly. 

“Hi,” you whisper against his chest, still smiling with your eyes closed. You breathe him in and press yourself against him. You don’t see the way his brows furrow, the way his eyes flash with confusion, you don’t even notice how long it takes for him to hug you back. You’re in a daze, just happy to be in his arms again. 

“Hey.” 

He wraps his arms around you, though he doesn’t hug you back as hard as you hug him. He leans his chin on the top of your head though, a sigh falling from his lips. 

“I missed you.”

Did you? He wants to ask. 

Did you miss him when he was with you? 

But he stays quiet, despite the anger, the sadness, and the heartbreak he feels – he felt all night. He stays quiet for now. 

He knows why you are here. 

Not because you want him. Not because you want a repeat of what you did the night before.

You pull back and look up at him, your eyes are shining with happiness, and the smile on your face is so bright, so beautiful. Though it’s not meant for him, is it? No. Only one man can make you this happy. Only one man can put that smile on your face. Only the one you spent your night with, the man that wasn’t him. 

You take his hand in yours, intertwining your fingers with his. 

He can’t take this. His heart can’t take this. He can’t even look at you without wanting to cry, knowing what you’re about to do. So he turns around and he walks back into the trailer, he pulls you in, squeezing your hand before he lets go. 

You’re still so blinded by your own happiness to notice anything. You just follow him inside and close the door behind you, still smiling, still beaming as you look at him, at the back of his head. 

He runs his fingers through his messy curls before he turns around. 

“Are you here to tell me that you went back with Harrington?” 

You blink at his words. 

It takes you a moment to understand his question or to notice the look on his face. 

The anger in his features, the downturned lips, the redness in his eyes. Your heart drops, aching in pain when you realize that he had 

Your smile falls, slowly as your face scrunches up in confusion. Your chest suddenly not feeling as light as it did just moments ago.

“Huh?”

He scoffs, shaking his head at you. 

“Sweetheart, I saw his car in your driveway last night. And I saw the shadows in your room, I can take a hint.”

Your blood runs cold, your heart starts pounding for different reasons now. 

Your eyes widen at his words as you start shaking your head at him. 

“No– wait, he did come over, but it’s not like that,” you say as you step closer to him, frowning. “Wait, you came by yesterday?” 

He clenches his jaw, looking away from you as he takes a step back. 

“Listen, I– I uh, I need time… I can’t really deal with this, right now.” 

You can see the tears in his eyes, the ones he is trying to blink away, the ones he is trying to hide from you. 

“Eddie, listen to me, just for one second–”

“I don’t need to listen to you! I knew I didn’t have a chance for fucks sake, I knew that I never would if he decided to come back and make things right, once and for all.” 

Your eyes start burning again. You look up at him in disbelief. 

He made up his mind about it all without talking to you first. You understand him, you really do. You wouldn’t be any different if you were in his position. But it hurts to find out how he thinks about himself. Because how can he think so little about everything that he is? How can he think he is not worthy? When he is the greatest man and person you’ve ever met. 

“No chance? I– Eddie, yesterday–”

“Yeah, and then I saw Steve Harrington’s amazing, polished BMW outside your house. Like I said, I can take a fucking hint.”

You shake your head again, biting back tears as you step closer to him. Annoyance and anger rushing through you when he doesn’t let you speak. 

“Are you going to let me talk!?”

“Why!? Why would I let you do that!? Do you even know how I–” he pauses, taking a deep breath, he turns away from you, raising his hand, he runs it through his hair. It’s shaking from all the anger inside of him. He sighs as he tries to calm down. “And it makes me so fucking angry that even when you hurt me like this, I still can’t leave your side. Fuck, I thought about it–”

The tears that you kept blinking away blur your vision. Your heart drops like it never did before and your eyes widen at his words. 

“You… thought about leaving me?” You ask, not even recognizing your own voice. It’s thick with tears, shaky and so small. 

You look away from him, you tilt your head down, looking at nothing as you get lost in your mind. 

He wanted to leave. 

Eddie wanted to leave you. 

Someone is leaving you again.

Someone is not choosing you again. 

Someone decided that you’re not good enough, again. 

Someone – Eddie, who you love with all your heart, is going to leave. Someone you thought would never even think about it. 

Your heart shatters at the thought of it. 

You can’t lose him. 

What will you do without him? 

What will you be without him?

Suddenly, you don’t feel as determined as you did before. The happiness that you felt is all gone and your heart is on the brink of shattering, once again. 

You want to turn around and walk away because you can’t stand this, you can’t stand to see him leave. 

You want to run. 

Eddie can see the way your bottom lip is shaking, the way your lashes keep hitting your cheeks as you blink so rapidly. It makes him feel guilty knowing that you’re about to cry because of him.

“I thought about it. I could never fucking do it, no matter what the hell you do to me. I could never leave you. Shit, you could break my heart over and over again and I’d still be here.” 

No matter what. 

You look up at him with blurry eyes and a racing heart. 

He can’t leave. He can’t leave you. No matter the circumstances. He won’t leave you. 

Steve left you, there was no reason for him to leave, but he did. He left you. 

But Eddie won’t leave. He’d rather hurt and get his heart shattered than leave you. 

You think about what Heather said to you, yesterday. 

You think about your interaction with Nancy, about the things she had said to you about Eddie. 

You think about your Mom’s words. 

You think about Steve, about how you didn’t fight for him when you wanted to, about how you just accepted it. 

You won’t do it with Eddie. 

So, instead of taking a step backwards, you take a step towards him, ready to change the course of your feelings, the course of your mind, and the course of your future. You step towards him ready to fight for what you want, selfishly. 

And you sniffled as you willed your tears away. 

“It’s time you listen to me–”

“No–”

Anger sparks inside of you as you look into his stubborn eyes, and you couldn’t contain yourself any longer. He needed to listen to you, he needed to because you won’t lose him, you won’t let him turn his back on you, and so– You raised your voice at him.

“You are a fucking hypocrite, Munson! Telling me I run away, now look at you! You don’t even let me talk! You wanted me to talk about my feelings yesterday night. Now you’re going to fucking listen!” 

Eddie is stunned. He stares at you with wide eyes, unable to form a sentence or even speak a single word. He never heard you yell, or cuss at him, you never called him by his surname. And you sure as hell, never looked at him with anger before. 

You take a deep breath. 

“He– Steve did come to my house last night. I also thought that he was there to make my life complicated again.. but.. he came to – he came to make it easy. To make me happy.. To say goodbye.”

Eddie tilts his head, furrowing his brows at your words. He watches the way your lips tremble, the way your glassy eyes stare up at him desperately. 

“He came to let me go, Eddie. He beat me to it.”

“Beat you to it?” He shakes his head. 

“I was gonna go to his house today. I needed to let him go. To finally cut that rope between the two of us.. And like I said, he beat me to it.”

Eddie is trying to process your words in his head, though he can’t make sense of them, he is lost, more lost than ever. He purses his lips, tilting his head even further. 

“I’m a little lost here.”

You sigh, only now noticing how nervous you really are when you feel your hands shaking harder than before. 

You’re scared. You’re scared of losing him. And you could go on and on, give him words that will confuse him even more, but instead, you do something else. Something you’ve been wanting to show him since yesterday. Something that you held close to your heart and never realized why. Something that even you took your time in understanding the reason as to why it is here. 

You look down and place your hand on the locket around your neck. 

“I– I wanted to be happy. I always thought that my happiness would be with him, planning a future together.. And I’ve known for a while that.. that I didn’t see Steve in my future anymore.” 

You take the necklace off, taking a shaky breath as you look at the locket. You raise your head and look back at him. You step towards him and take his hand in yours, placing the locket in his palm. 

He stares at you with widened eyes, confusion still lingering in them. And then, he looks down at the locket in his hand, at the one he always stared at, wondering what picture you had carried inside of it – deep down, he knew that it was a picture of Steve. 

But as he opens it, he finds out that it’s not. It’s not a picture of Steve. 

It’s a picture of him. 

His lips part and his breath hitches in his throat.

All this time, you carried a picture of him inside this locket? A locket that Steve gave you months ago? A locket that was gifted by the person you cried for?

You stare at him with shaky hands and tears in your eyes. You have never been more afraid than you are now. You have never done this before. You have never confessed your feelings in that way, so explicit and raw. And a part of you wants to turn heel and run to save yourself from rejection. 

But for Eddie, you will push through your nerves and embarrassment. 

“As soon as I got it, I cut your face from a picture we took at the carnival and put it inside.. Took me a while to realize why I did it without hesitation though..” You giggle, nervously. 

Eddie’s eyes well with tears as realization slowly dawns on him. The anger starts to dwindle and his heart feels lighter, happier again, after all the tears he had shed last night, thinking that you chose Steve, that he was just a meaningless thing you wanted to touch for once before going back to him. 

He looks back at you and finally, he notices the look in your eyes. A look he never noticed before because of his fear. A look he never thought he would ever get from you because it was the same one you directed towards Steve. A look that maybe if he had thought a little bit better of himself, he would have noticed way before. 

“Sweetheart, w-what–”

“I love you, Eddie. More than just my best friend,” you whisper, shakily. 

Eddie freezes. He is staring at you in shock. 

Did you really just say that to him?

You choose him. You love him. 

At the lack of answer you couldn’t help but feel like running again, the fear of rejection settling in deep in your gut, but your heart flipped it off and your heels dug in the ground even harder than before, not letting you go anywhere.

“And– if you don’t.. just give me some time, because I can’t live without you, Eds. I really – I can’t see anybody else in my future in that way that’s not you. I really can’t so– I will try and try..”

His mind still needs a moment to process your words, he is still in disbelief. Everything he thought he lost, is right here, right in front of him. His broken heart is mended, gone is the sadness, gone is the pain, all there is is the love he wanted to set free and show to you. 

“B-But if there is still a chance then I will wait.. I will wait for you and I will fight for you – for us.” 

You are still rambling, not giving him the chance to speak. 

He can’t stand to see you with tears in your eyes any longer, so after putting the necklace on the counter, he steps forward, with a racing heart, he takes a step closer to you and he cups your cheeks and he slams his lips against yours, taking your breath away with a kiss he had craved since last night. 

Your heart screams in joy the moment you feel his lips moving against yours. 

But you are frozen in place, staring at him with wide eyes. Your heart is beating so fast, you don’t even know how to react, what to think, what to do because just seconds ago, you thought that you were losing him, that he was about to reject you, tell you that he doesn’t feel as strongly as you do, that you would have to turn around and leave with a broken heart.

You are still staring at him, not blinking, not moving. 

But you can feel him. 

You can feel the softness of his touch, you can feel his hands on your cheeks, you can feel his lips moving against yours so gently. 

His hands move down to your waist and he pulls you closer and closer until you’re flush against him, you feel his heart pounding in his chest and only then do you snap out of it. 

Eddie is kissing you, he is kissing you again. 

You won’t leave with a broken heart. 

Not this time.

You close your eyes, you wrap your arms around him and you melt into the kiss so effortlessly.

Your heart keeps pounding, your stomach flutters just the way it did, last night, if not even more. 

He sighs in content, squeezing your waist as he deepens the kiss. 

Eddie is so desperate to feel you, to kiss you harder and harder, needing to feel you more and more. 

He can’t believe the words that you have said to him. He can’t believe that the girl he loves with all his heart loves him back and wants him just the way that he wants her. He can’t help but smile against your lips, despite the lack of air that is getting to him, he kisses you even harder as he backs you up against the kitchen counter. 

You whimper against his lips as you tangle your hands in his hair, pulling at his curls. 

“I need you to repeat what you just said to me,” he murmurs against your lips, pecking your lips again and again. 

You open your eyes to look into his, giggling. “Everything?” 

He smiles fondly, tucking your hair behind your ears, he caresses your cheek, “No, just that one part.”

The look in his eyes is so different from the one before. They’re soft, his features are now filled with nothing but happiness, and his smile widens when you peck his lips. 

You can’t even begin to describe the feeling in your chest the longer you look at the man you love. 

“I love you,” you whisper. “I love you so much, Eddie Munson.” 

Eddie doesn’t know whether to scream in joy or to cry in happiness. He grasps you harder, blinking away the tears that welled up in his eyes from your confession. 

“Holy shit.” Kiss. “I can’t believe this is real.” Kiss. “I love you.” Kiss. “I love you so much, princess.” 

Your gaze softens, and your eyes burn with tears, though this time, it’s happy ones. 

His words are so genuine, so real. 

He looks at you in a way that makes you feel seen. 

He holds you in a way that makes you feel safe. 

For the first time in your life, you feel like you can genuinely let yourself fall. Because even when Steve felt love for you as he said he did, it was never like this, never this unconditional. 

Eddie wraps his arms around you and he pulls you in, he hugs you so tightly, almost crushing you in his arms, he kisses the top of your head as he runs his fingers through your hair. 

“You don’t have to wait. You don’t have to – I have loved you from the first moment you sat next to me and cried on my shoulder. I just – I just thought, man – this girl can love.. this girl really knows how to love, that hooked me to you, sweetheart.” 

A tear falls from your eyes when realization rushes through you, that his feelings aren’t newfound, it’s not something that he just discovered, it’s something that had always been there.

He loved you from the very first moment. 

He loved you when you still loved Steve. 

He loved you even when you still pined after him. 

He loved you and still told you that you and Steve might get back together in the future. 

He loved you and still let you go on a date with another man. 

He loved you and he still let Steve into the friend group, all while knowing that he might lose you to him. 

He loves you. 

Eddie loves you so much that he would rather get hurt than ever hurt you. 

Your tears fall harder when you think of all the times he was hurting because of his feelings for you. 

You pull back and tilt your head up, looking at him with your tear-filled eyes. 

“I hurt you, I-I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

His eyes soften when he sees the guilt and the sadness in your eyes, the tears that roll down your cheeks. He shakes his head at you, wiping them away as he leans in to kiss your lips – something he thought he would never get to do again after last night. 

“I get to hold you like this now, I get to tell you that I love you. I get to kiss you, I get to make you mine, sweetheart. It was worth the wait,” he says to you with all his heart. 

You smile through your tears and you lean in again, “then make me yours, Eddie. Please, I want to be yours.”

Eddie feels like he is in a dream, to get to hear these words from you, to get to hear those special, magical words falling from your lips make him the happiest man alive. This is all he ever wanted. You. Your love. For you to reciprocate the feelings that had always been there for him. 

He can’t believe that this is real, that you want him in that way, that last night wasn’t just sex for you, that it was more than that. He can’t believe that you are desperate for him, that you’re standing here in front of him, begging for him to make you his. 

But it’s real, so very real. 

He wraps his arm around your waist and leans down, hooking his left arm behind your knees and picking you up with ease. He smiles when a squeal leaves your lips. He kisses your cheek as he begins walking. 

“What are you doing?” You giggle as you hold on tightly to him. 

“Gonna make you mine, sweetheart.” 

His words would make your knees buckle if you were still standing. 

Excitement rushes through you when he carries you into his room, slamming the door with his foot. He sets you back down on your feet, grinning at you when he cups your cheeks again, not wasting a second before he slams his lips back to yours, unable to fight the smile off his face when you moan against him and desperately cling to his body. 

His hands find their way to your back, he pulls you closer and closer until there’s no space between you two. His palm slides down, further and further until it rests on your butt, he can’t even hold himself from grabbing a fistful of it, causing you to moan again. 

Your fingers rest on the back of his neck, you’re pulling at his hair, kissing him deeply, desperately. You feel his tongue on your bottom lip and you instantly part your lips more for him. 

He groans into the kiss when your tongue meets his and your hand slides down his stomach, making his heart flutter and his skin tingle. He wants you, god, he wants you just like he had you last night. 

He wants to worship your body, leave no inch unkissed. He wants to show you just how much he fucking loves you. 

But you want to do the same. 

You want to feel him, fully. 

You reach for the hem of his shirt, only breaking the kiss to tear it off of him. The second his shirt hits the floor, your lips are back on his. 

The kiss is desperate, filled with lust but most importantly, it’s filled with raw feelings, it’s filled with love. And you don’t know whether to smile or cry in joy because you got what you wanted so so much. 

His hands are gentle on your skin despite the desperation behind his touch, he is still so gentle and soft with you. 

You break the kiss when the lack of air gets to you, breathing heavily as you press your lips to his again and again, smiling when he looks at you with awe in his eyes. His fingers dig deep into your butt as he starts to push you towards his bed. 

He bites his lip, looking you up and down, hands moving up to your waist as he plays with the thin material of your sundress, “that’s such a pretty dress, sweetheart.”

You giggle, blushing at the way he’s looking at you. 

“I bought it just for you.”

His eyes widen at your words. 

You were thinking about him when you bought it?

A shy smile is playing on your lips, one that is enough to make him melt into a puddle. 

Your cheeks heat up the longer he stares at you like this. You use his distraction to push him down on his bed, placing your hands on his shoulders, and then you step in between his legs. 

He looks so pretty like this, with his cheeks flushed, his hair laying so messily on his shoulders, his pale skin that looks so perfect, you want to kiss every inch of it, you want to show him how much you love him. 

“Do you like it, Eddie?” You whisper as you shudder at the feeling of his hands gripping your hips. 

He licks his lips, nodding his head, “I fucking love it, sweetheart,” he whispers as his hands move up and down your sides. “I love everything about you,” he says so genuinely and honest as he looks at your body, his eyes tracing your beautiful face, your skin, your lips, your nose, your eyes that he loves so much, your hair, and the rings you wear on your fingers, the ones you never took off ever since he had gotten them for you. 

You stand in front of him, looking like the prettiest angel that has graced this world. His heart is beating so wildly in his chest, it’s so full of love and joy. 

He snaps out of his thoughts and his eyes widen when you get down on your knees in front of him. 

You lay your palms on his thighs and slide them up, moving closer to him, you reach for the cuffs on his belt and you start to undo them. 

“Sweetheart, w-what–”

“Let me do what I wanted to do last night. And guide me if you want, I want to learn what you like, Eds.”

To see the girl he loves kneeling before him, tugging at his belt and the button of his jeans, desperate to feel him, desperate to touch him, to taste him, to make him feel good makes him feel like he’s gone to heaven. 

“Please, Eddie. Let me,” you whisper with a pout on your lips as you tug on his jeans. Nervousness lingering inside of you and yet you feel eager to show him how much you want him, how much you crave him, not just sexually but emotionally. You want him to feel good, you want him to feel pleasure and you want him to feel your devotion and your love for him. 

Holy shit. 

He blinks, gulping as his dick strains uncomfortably against the rough denim. 

Who is he to deny you? To deny something he dreamed of at night since forever?

With your help, he takes his jeans and boxers off, pushing them down his legs hastily. He stares at your eyes, at the way they flash with lust when his dick springs free, hitting his pelvis. 

“You have such a pretty cock, Eddie,” you purr and glance up at him lovingly. 

He is big, you already knew it, you already felt it. You knew that you would struggle to take all of him, but your mouth only waters even more at the thought of him hitting the back of your throat. His tip is an angry red, already leaking with pre cum and suddenly, your lower stomach tightens, your skin begins to tingle and you can’t wait to feel him inside of you again. 

You feel excited for this new and raw feeling. Something you didn’t let yourself enjoy before because you never felt as comfortable as you do with Eddie. 

Not only did you express yourself in words, something you have never done before. You surprised yourself even. 

Your reaction now surprising you even more, the way you have to press your thighs together, bite back whimpers despite not feeling any pleasure at all, yet. 

All because of Eddie – because of what is doing to you. 

He watches the way you bite your lip, the way your pupils widen as you wrap your hand around him– that is enough to make him moan. A simple touch from you and he is gone. 

He watches with wide eyes as you lean forward, licking your lips before you press the tip of your tongue against the underside of his cock and lick a stripe up his length with a moan. 

“O-Oh, holy shit,” he gasps, gripping the bed sheets beneath him. 

You giggle at his reaction, taking him by surprise again when you spit down on his dick, using it as lubrication to jerk him off.

Eddie’s brows furrow and his eyes darken as he stares down at you in awe. He didn’t expect you to spit on him like this, he always expected you to be a little clueless when it comes to this, knowing that you and Steve didn’t really do much except for soft ‘love making’ – that’s how you described to him, at least.

He loves the way you look as you sit on your knees in front of him, the way you’re jerking him off, looking at his dick like you’re ready to drool all over it – and that is exactly what you do, moments later. 

You wrap your lips around his tip, swirling your tongue around it with a moan. Your hands grip his thighs roughly as you take him deeper into your mouth. 

Eddie’s eyelashes flutter, and a shaky moan falls from his lips as he feels warmth engulfing him. You moan around his dick, sending vibrations through him. 

“Sweetheart,” he whimpers as he keeps his eyes on you. “Y-You’re so – oh my fucking god,” he gasps out when you hollow your cheeks around him, whimpering as you start bobbing your head. 

He moans your name out, trying not to move his hips but it’s hard to stay still when his dream girl is sucking the soul out of him. 

Excitement floods through you, happy to hear him whimpering your name, happy to see him falling apart for you. 

Eddie is so taken aback but so fucking happy – when he got up this morning, he didn’t expect his day to end like this. With you here, with you doing this to him. 

He lets go of the bed sheets and instead, he reaches his hand down to brush the fallen strands out of your face. He runs his fingers through your hair, making you moan even louder when his fingertips graze your scalp. 

“Jesus christ, baby,” he whimpers, breathing heavily as his heart pounds in his chest. 

Your eyes water when he hits the back of your throat and you try to not choke, keeping your throat relaxed as you continue to suck him off, loving the way it feels to do this to him. 

“You’re so good, y/n. You’re so fucking perfect, such a good girl for me,” he praises you as he keeps on holding his hips still so he doesn’t gag you. 

You moan at the pet name, pressing your legs together. 

His moans and whimpers make you shift uncomfortably and it takes everything in you not to push your hand into your panties for some relief instead, you dig your nails into his thighs. 

Through watery eyes, you look up at him as you moan filthily and Eddie feels as though he truly has gone to heaven. 

You bring your hand up, surprising him yet again when you start playing with his balls and smirking when he whimpers even louder than before. You can feel him twitching inside your mouth and it only makes you more desperate to make him feel good. You blink your tears away, bobbing your head faster than before, hollowing your cheeks harder than before, ignoring how much you’re drooling on him. You wrap your hand around his dick again using it along your lips to pleasure him. 

In response, he tightens his grip on your hair and throws his head back, chanting your name as though it’s the only word he remembers. 

The carpet beneath your knees is rough on your skin but you couldn’t care less right now. All that matters to you is Eddie and his pleasure. 

There are so many things he wants to say, so many praises he wants to give you but he can’t, he is speechless, so deeply lost in the pleasure, so deeply lost in you. 

His body feels on fire, he feels love and lust, so much of it. 

Sweat is already building up on his skin, coating his forehead and his chest which is rising up and down heavily. Only as he feels himself getting closer and closer does he snap out of it, not wanting to cum just yet – he gently pulls you off of him, groaning at the way you whine as you release him with a pop! 

You blink at him in confusion, eyes flashing with concern as you look at him with puffy red lips and tears beneath your eyes. Eddie almost busts at the sight of you alone. 

“W-What’s wrong, was that not good–”

He simply cuts you off by grabbing you underneath your armpits, pulling you up with ease. He sets you on his thigh, groaning at the feeling of your soaked panties against his skin. He cups your cheeks, “don’t you dare finish that sentence,” he murmurs before he slams his lips against yours, surprising you with a kiss. 

You moan into the kiss, feeling needier than ever after the way he just grabbed you so roughly. You wrap your arms around him and kiss him back. Sighing in amusement when you feel him struggling to take his shoes and jeans off without breaking the kiss. 

You tangle your hands in his hair as you move your lips roughly against his, surprised at the fact that he doesn’t seem to mind that you just had him in your mouth. 

You can’t even stop yourself from moving your hips and grinding down against his thigh.

“Mmmh, I need you,” you whimper against his lips. “Please, fuck me.”

He groans, grabbing your sides harder before he flips you over, lying you down on your back, he pecks your lips, “no,” he shakes his head. “I’m not gonna fuck you today,” he whispers as his fingers start to fumble with the buttons on your dress, “I’m going to make love to you, baby.” 

Your eyes widen, your heart skipping a beat at his words as your chest fills with warmth. 

“I’m gonna show you how much you mean to me, how much I love you.”

“Please,” you whisper. 

He smirks at you with his flushed cheeks and his dark eyes. He continues unbuttoning your dress, taking it off slowly as his hands touch your skin gently. Unlike the night before, he takes his time with you, he leans in to kiss your neck, your collarbone, your arms after sliding the straps of your dress down before taking it off completely, not knowing that this makes you feel so overwhelmed with love – in the best way possible.

“My beautiful girl,” he whispers against your warm skin as his hands grab at your boobs, his fingers pinching your nipples as he keeps peppering your neck in kisses, tracing the marks he had left behind yesterday. 

A smile tugs at your lips, “Eddie..”

His name fell from your lips so many times before, though never like this. 

“Please.. I don’t want to wait any longer,” you whine, wrapping your hands around his arms as you try to pull him closer. “I need you inside of me now.”

His heart couldn’t flutter any more than this. 

He quickly takes your shoes off, throwing them down next to his before he makes his way back to you, kissing up your legs and giving some love to your inner thighs as he hooks his fingers around your panties. 

“Eddie,” you whine, reaching your hand down to grab at his hair. “Don’t tease me.”

His lips are so soft against your skin, smacking with each kiss that he blesses you with. He spreads your legs further after taking your panties off, pressing his fingers against your soaked entrance. 

You grip at the sheets beneath you, bucking your hips up. 

“E-Eddie.” 

He moans as he moves his fingers through your folds, teasing your clit with his thumb as he slips two fingers inside of you, stretching you open. 

“Eddie, I need you,” you whimper, already clenching around his fingers. 

“Let me taste you, sweetheart–”

You grab his wrist, trying to pull him closer, “please! You can do it later, I need you,” you beg. “We got all the time in the world for this,” you say, driving him crazy with your words.

“Fuck,” he whispers, surprised with your desperation but more turned on than ever. He pulls his fingers out of you and presses his lips to your hip bone, trailing kisses up your body and enjoying the way you’re breathing so heavily beneath him as you tangle your hand in his hair again. 

“You’re so perfect,” he murmurs against your chest as he leaves kisses there. “My pretty pretty girl.” 

You whine at his words, wrapping your arms around him when he finally hovers over you. You hook your legs around his waist, gazing up at him with needy eyes. You lean up to peck his lips. 

“My pretty boy,” you whisper against his lips as you move your hand down, wrapping it around his dick and lining him up with your entrance. “I need you now.” 

He shudders against you, heart nearly exploding at your words, he moans as he leans his forehead against yours, pulling you into a kiss again as he presses into you slowly, making you both moan against each other. 

The ache between your legs gets more and more intense as he pushes in deeper and deeper. 

Eddie’s hands reach for yours, his fingers tracing you softly as he intertwines them with your own, squeezing them tightly as he thrusts into you completely, pinning your hands down beside your head. 

You’re both whimpering in pleasure. 

Your walls are fluttering around his cock, your hands grab his tightly, you pull away from the kiss and bury your face in his neck. 

“I love you. I love you. I love you.” You chant into his ear as you squeeze his waist even tighter with your legs. 

Everything inside of him screams in pure joy. His heart couldn’t be filled with more love. He can’t even stop the tears from building up in his eyes, his emotions getting the best of him. 

Your lips touch his skin, your voice is calling out his name. You are trusting him, loving him, letting him love you. 

“I love you so much, Eddie,” you whisper those words into his ear that he never thought he would ever get to hear, let alone from you. 

He lets go of your hand, cupping the back of your neck to pull you back so he can see you. He pinches your chin between his fingers, tracing your bottom lip as he takes a moment to admire you. He gently brushes your hair out of your face, smiling when your lips twitch. He looks into your eyes, the look in them matching his own – there is love, so much of it, it makes him want to cry in happiness. 

“God, I’m so in love with you, y/n.” 

These words are ones you had craved for so long, you had yearned for them, longed to hear them back from someone you love so unconditionally. 

You blink, your eyes burning with tears now. 

His eyes are soft, so filled with unconditional love, he admires you, taking you in like you’re the best thing to ever exist. No one has ever looked at you like this before. 

“I love you,” he whispers as he presses his lips to yours. “I love you more than anything, sweetheart.”

“Show me,” you whimper, clenching around him. “Please.” You beg, needing him to show you just how much he truly wants you, how much he loves you. 

He slams his lips back against yours, kissing you deeply, passionately as he starts rolling his hips. 

You wrap your hand around him as your other clings to his, still intertwined with his fingers. You squeeze your eyes shut when you feel him hitting you so deep inside that it makes your eyes tear up even more. 

You both whimper against each other as your tongues meet and the kiss deepens into something more. This isn’t just a kiss. This isn’t just sex. This is more, so much more. 

He holds you close as he thrusts in and out of you with slow but deep motions. He moans into the kiss so desperately, sending vibrations through you. 

You’re skin to skin, clinging to one another desperately as you get lost in love and pleasure. 

He is so deep inside of you that you’re already on the verge of falling apart and you know that he is too, he is twitching inside of you, his moans turning into whimpers as you squeeze around him. 

You taste him along with the saltiness of the tears that mingled into the kiss, the ones that fell from both yours and his eyes but neither of you care, you keep kissing each other like there is no tomorrow, like you don’t need to breathe – like you need this to breathe, each other. 

Only when oxygen truly does go out and you both pull away just enough to catch your breaths, do you open your eyes to look at each other. Eddie wastes no second to attach his lips to your skin, kissing away your fallen tears, kissing your cheeks, your nose, your forehead, your lips before he moves down, tilting your head to the side so he can love on your neck. 

Your fingers dig into his skin, holding onto his back tightly as you grind back against him, wanting more and more of him. 

“You’re the love of my life,” he whispers into the crane of your neck before your name falls from his lips in a whimper. 

Your chest compresses in joy, more tears spill down your cheeks and even in the pleasure you can feel the lump in your throat. 

Everything feels so right with him. 

Everything feels so perfect. 

He feels like home. 

You press your hand to his chest, feeling his heart, the beat of his matching your own. 

“You’re mine too,” you whimper as you press your lips to his shoulder, kissing and sucking on his skin. 

You squeeze your eyes shut as he grabs your hips tightly and starts moving faster, harder. His hips snapping against yours roughly while his lips touch your skin so gently and his words are nothing if love filled. 

“I can’t believe you choose me,” he whispers, unable to hide the shakiness of his voice as tears fall from his eyes and onto your bare skin. “I can’t believe you want me.”

You reach for his face, cupping his cheeks gently as you urge him to look at you. His soft brown eyes meet yours and they look back at you so lovingly that it makes you want to sob in happiness. 

“You’re my everything.” 

“You’re mine too, Eddie.” You whimper.

You never thought that someone would look at you like this, that someone would love you like he does. 

And you are so desperate to give it all back to him, to show him how much you love him, to show him how he means everything to you. 

“I’m yours, Eddie,” you whisper, raising yourself up to kiss his lips. “I belong to you.”

He kisses your lips again and again, moving his hips faster, reaching his hand down as your moans get louder and more high pitched. 

The chain around his neck dangles in front of you and you use it to pull him closer. 

“And I belong to you,” he murmurs against your lips. “My heart is yours.”

“Mine is yours too.”

He kisses you passionately as he presses his fingertips against your clit, rubbing circles against it, causing you to jerk against him and hold his hand even tighter than before. 

You clench so tightly around him that his hips stutter, almost cumming right this second. 

“F-Fuck,” he whimpers against your lips. “You’re close, aren’t you baby? I can feel it, you’re so tight around me. J-Just let go for me, yeah?” 

You nod your head hastily, blinking rapidly as you keep your eyes on him. 

He looks down at you, watching the way your chest rises up and down so heavily, the way your face contorts in pleasure because of him. You cling to his hand, your rings pressing against his. 

“Cum with me, Eddie,” you beg with pleading eyes, arching your back in pleasure. 

He cups your cheek again, pecking your lips. 

“I’m gonna.. fuck… I’m gonna cum. Y-You’re so perfect, baby. I love you, I love you so fucking much,” he moans as shockwaves grip his body. 

You’re both panting, eyes filled with tears from pleasure but neither of you are ready to look away from each other’s eyes. He pounds into you faster, a little rougher as his fingers play with your clit. He tears a loud gasp out of you when he thrusts deeper into you. 

“Eddie!” 

“Cum with me, baby,” he begs, kissing your lips. 

You claw your nails into his skin, you let go and cum around him just as your name falls from his lips and he spills inside of you. 

He holds your hand tightly and he keeps moving for another few seconds before he collapses on top of you, burying his face in the crook of your neck. 

“Oh my god,” he whispers. 

You’re breathing heavily, trying to catch your breath. Your body is shaking beneath his and that makes you cling to him even harder. 

He can feel your walls pulsating around him, that keeps on tearing small moans out of him. 

He keeps on kissing you, praising you with sweet words even as he comes down from his high. His fingers touch your skin so softly and he treats you with so much love and care, something that puts a smile on your face. 

You trace his back, moans of pleasure escaping your mouth whenever his lips meet that sensitive spot on your neck. 

Neither of you want to move, both so content with this. 

“I love you, baby.”

“I love you, Eddie.” 

He pulls back after a moment, facing you again with a dopey smile on his face. He kisses your lips before he pulls out, making you whimper. 

“You okay, angel?” 

Your heart soars at the soft look in his eyes as he caresses your cheek. You feel so loved with him. It makes you both so giddy and happy. You never thought that you would ever feel something like this. 

“Mhmm,” you smile, taking his hand in yours to kiss it. 

He smiles at you, licking his lips before he leans down to kiss your forehead. He then gets up. 

“I’ll be right back, sweets.” 

With curious eyes, you watch him put his boxers on before he leaves his room but not before winking at you. 

With a smile on your face, you lay your head on his pillows and look up at the ceiling, giggling when you hear him cursing after something hits the ground in the kitchen. 

He comes back with a wet cloth and a glass of water. He puts it on his nightstand before he gets back on the bed, pushing your thighs apart so he can clean you. 

You blush at his action and look away. Steve had only ever done it after your first time together, after that, he stopped caring. 

He notices the look on your face and furrows his brows, “what?” 

You shake your head, “nothing,” you murmur, biting your lip. 

He chuckles at you, smiling fondly as you keep your eyes locked on anything but on him. 

You’re still blushing, trying to hide from him. 

“You’re so cute,” he whispers, leaning down to kiss your hip bone before he pulls his blanket over your bare body. 

Your heart skips a beat at his words, you look back at him with a shy smile on your face. 

He stares at you so lovingly, scooting closer to you, he reaches his hands out to cup your cheeks, “yeah, you’re truly the fucking cutest.”

Leaning into his touch, you protest with a simple ‘no’ as you put your hand on his arm, “I think that’s you, Eds.”

“Me?” He asks, blushing just the way you do. “Nah, I’m not cute,” he snorts. 

"Yes, you are,” you giggle, pinching his pink cheek. “Now come here and cuddle me.” 

His eyes light up at your words, heart fluttering inside his chest. 

He hands you the glass of water first, making sure that you drink all of it before he complies to your wish. 

He lies down beside you and pulls you on top of him. Hands instantly reaching into your hair. He plays with it, smoothing down your strands as he stares down at you with a happy smile on his face, watching the way you stare at his tattoos, tracing them with your fingertips while a smile plays on your lips. 

Silence fills the room as the two of you enjoy your moment of bliss. 

You listen to his heartbeat, getting lost in your thoughts and the feeling of his hands on your skin. 

Eddie admires you, running his finger up and down your spine. 

“Hey Eddie?”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

You look up at him as you prop your chin up on his chest, looking into his eyes. 

“I wanted to come see you, last night.” You say, needing him to know that. 

He furrows his brows, pursing his lips as he tilts his head. 

“I couldn’t fall asleep without you. I wanted to come here but when I was about to leave, Steve was there.. on my front porch.” 

His gaze softens.

You wanted to be with him last night. 

Just like he wanted to be with you. 

“Oh,” he whispers, tugging you even closer. 

You nod, seemingly not wanting to talk about anything else from the night before, you lay your head back on his chest, letting the silence greet you again. 

Eddie doesn’t push you, not wanting to ruin this moment by talking about your ex boyfriend. 

He knows that whatever happened between you and him last night, was about more than just your past relationship. 

He leans down, kissing your forehead softly before he lies back again, watching the way you smile at him as you snuggle closer. 

You’re the first to break the silence again after a few minutes of staring at his corroded coffin poster. 

“Eddie?”

“Mmm?”

When you lay your hands on his chest, and you look at him with curious eyes, Eddie knows that you will ask something that will leave him a blushing mess. 

“Did you ever try to kiss me?” 

He raises his brows, a laugh falling from his lips. 

“Try? I almost did, sweets.”

“What!?” You ask in shock. 

He shakes his head at you, he always knew you were oblivious, he noticed that in those moments. 

“Okay, when we cuddled or you sat on my lap when we watched movies? Remember how I just kissed your cheek out of nowhere?” He asks. “Or your nose?”

Your eyes widen in shock, flooding with realization. 

He chuckles at the look on your face, “yeah, no. I got too lost in the moment many times and  almost kissed you.. unconsciously.”

“Huh?”

“Yeah!” He says with widened eyes. “And I just dodged when I realized I was leaning in, desperately, because what excuse can I give if you noticed me leaning in?”

You giggle at that, “holy shit.”

“Yeah, I yelled into my fucking pillow many nights. – I’m glad you’re amused though,” he chuckles, tickling your sides. 

You grab his hands, giggling even louder, “stop!” 

He chuckles, shaking his head. 

“When did it start?” 

“Huh?”

“You loving me… when was it Eds?”

Eddie falls silent, he tries to pinpoint the moment he caught himself falling in love with you. 

He thinks about the beginning of your friendship. 

The late night drives. 

The movie nights. 

Tuesday nights at the hideout. 

Your sleepovers. 

But truly, Eddie loved you way before all of that, already. 

He had his eyes on you before he even knew your name. 

He chuckles as warmth spreads in his chest. 

Loving you always felt like a blessing, even when he thought he knew that he would never have a chance with you. Loving you still felt so.. safe. 

“Beats the shit out of me, sweetheart. I always fucking loved you – shit, I failed classes because I was too busy staring at your pretty face,” he admits with blushing cheeks. 

Eddie is so in love with you that he can’t even think back to a time when he didn’t love you yet. 

Your eyes widen with both shock and love, tearing up with happy tears as the overwhelming feeling inside your chest makes you want to cry. 

You swallow the lump in your throat, staring at him in awe. 

When did you fall in love with him?  

Just like him, you can’t remember a time when you didn’t love him. 

“Well, I can’t remember either,” you admit as you lean closer to him. “But I’ve loved you for a long time now.”

He squeezes your waist in response, heart swelling in his chest. He kisses your lips before you both start giggling. 

“We’re fucking idiots.”

He snorts, nodding his head. 

“Platonic my ass.”

“You always said that we’re platonic!” You laugh. 

He rolls his eyes with a smile. 

“Yeah, well. What did you want me to say? I am in love with her, like fucking crazy, but it’s cool, we are just friends. Does that sound better?”

You giggle, staring back at him with happy eyes. 

His smile widens at the look on your face, he places his hand on your cheek, caressing it, softly. 

“Did you talk to anyone about it… about your feelings, I mean?”

His smile falls a little. 

Yeah, he talked about them to Dmitri and Robin, even Gareth. But the first person was someone entirely else. 

He takes a deep breath. 

“Steve..”

Your blink. 

“W-What?”

“He confronted me about it. Told me that I was a fucking liar about my feelings, that I was a moron really,” he chuckles as he thinks back to the few conversations he had with him. “Told me to stop lying to myself about it.”

“Oh..” You murmur, slowly realizing just how much Steve had really changed. Even while he was fighting for a second chance with you, he never did anything to harm your bond with Eddie, he never did anything to drive him away from you, even while knowing about his feelings for you. 

“Sweetheart, want me to be honest with you? I think everyone knew about our feelings for each other except for us.”

A smile appears on your face, your eyes find his again. 

“I think we should get a medal for most clueless people in Hawkins. How does that sound?” 

You both giggle at your words, continuing to joke around until you both get tired and fall asleep in each other's arms. 

Not as friends but as something more for the very first time. 

-

The smell of coffee and food is the first thing you notice when you wake up, the next morning. 

The sunlight peeks through the closed curtains, lighting up the room ever so slightly. You open your eyes and sink deeper into his pillows. Breathing in the smell of his cologne which makes your stomach flutter in an instant. 

You stretch your arms out before you sit up, holding the blanket against your body. You look around the room, eying the discarded clothes on the ground. Eddie’s shirt is still on the ground next to your dress, you pick it up and put it on, smoothing your hair out before you place your feet on the ground after pushing the sheets off of you. You bend down, picking up your panties, you put them on as well. A smile tugs at your lips when last night’s events start catching up to you. 

Your heart skips a beat when you hear Eddie’s voice in the kitchen, singing along to a song that plays on the radio. 

Your eyes fall on the framed picture on his nightstand – it’s one of you, just you. Well, you and sweetheart. His guitar is in your hand, his jacket thrown over your shoulders as you look into the camera with a big smile on your face. 

There’s traces of you around his room, a forgotten shirt, earrings you had taken off and left behind, a denim jacket you have been looking for, polaroid pictures of you and him, your perfume on his dresser next to his. 

And Eddie never bothers to put these things away, he loves seeing your stuff in his room. 

With a smile on your face, you walk over to the window and slide open the curtains, squinting your eyes when the sun hits you in the face. You open the window to let some fresh air in before you leave the room, making a quick stop in the bathroom before you join Eddie in the kitchen after washing your face with cold water. 

He is standing with his back to you, not noticing you yet. 

Your heart soars and you have to clench your thighs together when you take in the sight of him. He is shirtless, gray sweatpants hanging low on his hips. His hair is pulled into a messy ponytail. He is bobbing his head along to the music as he cooks breakfast. 

You bite your lip, making your way towards him. You wrap your arms around his waist and press your lips against his back, kissing him. He doesn’t even flinch, instantly melting into your touch. 

“Good morning, sweetheart.” 

You hear the grin in his voice and it only makes you smile even harder. 

“Morning, Eddie.”

He puts the spatula down before he turns around to face you. Smiling just as happy as he did when he woke up with you in his arms, this morning. He cups your cheeks and leans down, smacking his lips against yours. 

“How’d you sleep, pretty girl?” He asks, tucking your hair behind your ear as he pecks your lips again before he pulls you into a hug. 

“It was the best sleep of my life,” you mumble into his chest, causing him to chuckle as he presses his lips to the top of your head. 

“Yeah? Mine too. I couldn’t believe that I got to wake up with the love of my life in my arms.”

You giggle, unable to fight the smile off your face as you look up at him. Taking a moment to admire his pretty face. 

This is certainly not the first morning you spent together but this is different. So very different. 

“Fuck, you’re beautiful.” 

A shaky breath falls from your lips as your chest tightens. 

He leans down to kiss you again, his ringed fingers gripping your waist tightly as he suddenly picks you up and places you on the counter. 

You giggle at him, making him smile even harder. 

“Sorry sweets, I’ll kiss you some more in a second, don’t want the food to burn,” he says as he pecks your lips once again before he turns back to the stove, checking on the scrambled eggs. 

He throws some toast into the toaster before he reaches for a mug in the cabinet, pouring some coffee into it, he adds creamer and sugar into it before he hands you the mug, “for my lady,” he grins, winking at you. 

You giggle at him as you wrap your hands around the mug. 

“Why thank you, sir,” you grin, pulling the mug up to your lips, you take a sip and place it on the counter next to you. 

You lick your lips, staring at him, at the tattoos on his pale skin, the marks you have left on his neck, the happiness that shines in his eyes, the smile that won’t fall. 

He is so beautiful. 

He is so happy, in a way you had never seen him before. Not even when you got him Metallica tickets for christmas – and he was really fucking happy about them. 

Your heart has never felt this.. alive before. Just watching him be so happy, so in love with you makes you the happiest girl in the world. 

The moment Eddie turns off the stove and puts the pan to the side, you reach for his hand and pull him in, he gladly makes his way in between your legs, his lips curling into a smirk when you cup his cheeks. 

“You’re so beautiful, Eddie,” you smile, leaning in to kiss his cheek. “And you’re all mine.”

His eyes light up even more, brown eyes that are filled with nothing but love, shine even brighter now. He steps even closer to you, grabbing your waist, he presses lips to your jawline. 

“I’m all yours. I’ve always been yours.”

You place your hands on his shoulders, your heart beating strongly in your chest.

“And I’m yours, Eddie. All yours.”

The silly grin on his lips tells you how happy and giddy he is to hear these words from you. He suddenly grabs your face and starts to kiss all over it, making you giggle louder than before. And then, he kisses you deeply. 

“Mmmh.”

He smiles into the kiss when you moan so prettily against his lips, wrapping your legs around his waist as you kiss him back. 

His hand slides down to your hip, squeezing it tightly before he slips it under your shirt – his shirt. 

He only pulls away to ask the question that he has been dying to get off his chest since the night before. 

His heart is racing in his chest as he opens his eyes to look at you again. 

“Can I be your boyfriend?” 

You giggle loudly, “I’d be mad if you weren’t.”

His smile widens and he almost fist bumps the air again but instead, he pulls you in for another kiss. 

You’re both smiling, both happier than ever. 

Neither of you can contain the excitement and the love you feel for one another. 

You get so lost in each other, so lost in the kiss that you don’t hear the car parking in front of the trailer, or the footsteps echoing outside, or the door opening, neither of you notice Wayne standing in the doorway or the unfazed look on his face.

He is not surprised to see this. 

He clears his throat, which makes you both pull away from each other, still smiling. 

You both greet him cheerfully, not even bothering to hide the fact that you were making out in the kitchen. 

He looks between the two of you, staring at the marks on Eddie’s neck. He shakes his head, though a smile tugs at his lips. 

“Finally,” he grumbles as he simply takes his jacket off and walks into the kitchen to pour himself a coffee, like he didn’t just walk in on something new. “Was wondering how much longer you’d take,” he says, walking over to the kitchen table with his favorite mug in hand. 

“Well, we made it Wayne,” Eddie grins, happily. “And now I can do this.”

You give him a questioning look, giggling when he slides you off the counter and takes your hand in his, pulling you towards where Wayne is now sitting. 

The older man was just about to take a sip of his coffee, though he pauses and looks between the two of you, giving his nephew a questioning look. 

“Wayne, this is my girlfriend,” he grins, gesturing to you. “Girlfriend, this is my uncle Wayne.” 

You giggle at him, blushing at the way he is staring at you. 

Not even Wayne can hide the smile on his face. He is happy to see Eddie like this, so full of life, so happy and in love. 

He puts the mug down, looking towards you, he grins at you, holding his hand out, “well, welcome to the family, sweetheart.” 

You take his hand, smiling just as happily as Eddie does, “thank you, Wayne.”

“Hell yeah, welcome to the family, baby.” Eddie says before he smacks his lips against your cheek again as he hugs you tightly after you let go of Wayne’s hand. 

You lean your head on his chest, smiling brightly. 

Wayne smiles as he looks between the two of you. 

Finally, he picks up the mug and takes a sip of his coffee. 

Eddie kisses your temple before he pushes you down on the chair. He runs back to the kitchen. He grabs three plates and fills them with scrambled eggs and Wayne’s beloved bacon, placing the toasts on both yours and Wayne’s plates before he throws two more into the toaster. 

He carries the plates over to the kitchen table, placing them in front of you and his uncle. 

Wayne pats Eddie on the back, throwing you an amused smile, “should’ve gotten with him sooner, I didn’t know that he’d turn into a chef once he’d started dating you.” 

You giggle at him. 

“He didn’t cook breakfast for you before?” You ask. “He always cooked well for me.” 

Eddie winks at you as he brings you the mug you abandoned on the counter earlier. 

“I’m always taking care of my girl.”

You blush at his words and smile fondly. 

Yeah, Eddie has always looked after you and you don’t even know how to thank him for it. He did so much for you. 

He places the coffee mug in front of you and you take his hand before he walks back into the kitchen. 

“Thank you, Eddie.”

By the look in your eyes, he can tell that you are thanking for more than just the breakfast he had cooked for you. You are thanking him for so much more. 

He smiles at you, giving your hand a squeeze before he pulls it up to his lips, kissing it softly. 

“It’s my pleasure, sweetheart.”

Wayne smiles at the two of you. 

“Now eat before it gets cold,” Eddie orders, trying to give you a mean look but failing to do so. 

“Yes sir,” you chuckle. 

He joins you a few moments later, placing his plate on the table. Instead of sitting down next to you, he picks you up and settles on the chair you just sat on before he pulls you down on his lap, making you blush for yet another time this morning. 

He starts eating his breakfast, scarving down his eggs and toast like a man starved. 

“Jesus christ, boy,” Wayne mumbles, giving him a disapproving look. “Slow down.”

“I’m starving, uncle,” he mumbles after gulping down his food. “We had an intense workout last night.” 

Wayne groans at his words while you giggle and shake your head in embarrassment. Hiding your face behind the mug in your hand. 

“So, are you two ready for your trip?” Wayne asks, leaning back in his chair. 

You and Eddie look at each other, yours and his eyes sparkling with excitement – Excitement that got even more intense after last night. 

“Yeah,” you both whisper, smiling at each other. “We are.”

-

The warmth of the summer still lingers, though the leaves are turning yellow now as fall creeps closer and closer. The wind blows through your hair, the fresh breeze reminding you that something new is upon you – a spontaneous plan you and Eddie had come up with weeks ago when you changed your mind about the road trip and came up with a different, better plan. 

Your mom has already said goodbye, after shedding one too many tears and making Eddie promise to take care of you, she left for work – which she was ready to miss just so she could stay a few more minutes with you. You had to convince her to leave, not wanting her to be late for work but also not wanting to wave goodbye and make it harder than it already is. 

You look around, a sad yet excited smile resting on your features as you squeeze your arms tighter around your friends. 

“I’m gonna miss you so much,” Heather whispers into your ear as she hugs you tighter than ever. 

“I’m gonna miss you too, Heather.”

“I’m gonna come visit you next week,” she jokes, sniffling as she tries to hide the shakiness in her voice behind a chuckle. 

“I’m gonna miss you too, so so much,” Chrissy sighs. 

“You guys are gonna be off to college next year, don’t act like you wouldn’t leave my ass behind,” you joke as you pull away from them both. 

“Says who?” Chrissy asks, raising a brow. “Maybe I’d force you and Robin to come with me.”

Heather turns to look at her with a frown, pouting at her. “But not me?”

Chrissy giggles, wrapping her arm around Heather, “all of you, actually.” 

“Me too?” Argyle jokes as he stands next to Eddie, leaning against the van as they both smoke their cigarettes.

Chrissy chuckles, “sorry, no boys are allowed in my room!” 

“What a shame,” Argyle sighs. “How am I supposed to visit my girl, Chris?”

Eddie chuckles, nudging his shoulder with his own, “you rent a place and have her move in with you, that’s what I’d do with mine,” he winks at you, making you blush. 

Heather and Chrissy giggle at the flustered look on your face. Both of them are happy to see you so giddy and in love. 

You blink as you stare at your friends, hoping that you won’t cry again, but it’s hard not to when you’re about to leave your life behind. 

“I’m gonna get back inside for a moment.” You gesture to your house, as you hold the keys tightly in your hand. 

“Okay!” Chrissy smiles. 

Heather smiles at you sadly, noticing the tears in your eyes. She takes Chrissy’s hand, “come on,” she whispers, pulling her along with her as she walks down your porch steps.

You turn away from them and step into your house for the last time. 

You still smell the cookies that your mom had made for you and Eddie earlier. The coffee you had this morning. You sniffle quietly as you look around your home. 

You always knew that you would leave someday and you are so happy and excited for your future with Eddie, but leaving things behind will never be easy. 

You have made so many memories in here, good ones, bad ones. Ones that put a smile on your face, ones that made you cry. Ones that you will always carry with you, even when you’re leaving. 

You hold onto the railing of the stairs, looking up, you now know for sure that you won’t be coming home tonight or tomorrow. 

You’ll be in a different place tonight. A different state, a different town, a new home. You would probably break into tears if you did this by yourself but you have him with you and that’s all that matters to you. 

A knock echoes through the hallway, snapping you out of your thoughts. 

You quickly wipe away the tears that managed to escape your eyes. You turn around, freezing in your spot when you lock eyes with someone you didn’t expect to see. 

Steve’s soft eyes sparkle with kindness, a smile tugs at his lips as he leans against the doorframe. His arms are crossed over his chest, he’s wearing a brown leather jacket, aviator sunglasses hanging on the black shirt he’s wearing underneath it. 

“Hey,” he whispers. 

His gaze softens when he takes in the sadness in your features. 

“Hi,” you smile, blinking. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”

It’s been two weeks since that night. You always wondered how he had been doing. 

His sadness still runs deep, you can see it. But he looks good, better than he did that night.

“Couldn’t let you go without saying goodbye,” he shrugs as he steps into the house. 

You smile, eyeing his face, you take a step towards him. 

Your heart is aching a little – he is still your friend, still your childhood best friend. 

“How are you doing?” 

You take a deep breath, looking around for a moment before your eyes settle back on him. 

“Good, a little sad but I’m good. And you?”

He takes a moment to answer your question, he is looking at you, at your face that he won’t see anytime soon. He ignores the pangs in his heart. 

“I’m alright.”

You nod. 

The longer you look at him, the harder it gets to hold back tears. Tears that are already sparkling on your eyelashes. 

“I’m gonna miss you, Steve.”

He gets teary eyed as well as he memorizes your features, as though he could forget you. 

It hit him a little harder than it should have when he found out that you were leaving. Yeah, he let you go and he said his goodbye but he wasn’t prepared for this. You have always been the biggest part of his life, even when he left, you were still around. And he would rather have that again than watch you leave, completely. 

Knowing that he will pass by your house every day, without catching sight of you in your driveway puts a new kind of sadness in him. 

Knowing that you won’t be behind the counter at the record store whenever he will walk in, makes him even sadder. 

He would rather risk the chance of running into you with Eddie than knowing that there won’t be a single place in town where he will find you.

“I’m gonna miss you too.” 

You step closer to him and he can’t help himself but pull you into a hug, wanting and needing to hold you, one last time. Not knowing when he will see you again, drives him crazy. 

He is sad but he doesn’t want you to be sad. You have spent enough time wallowing in sadness, shedding tears and living in darkness. 

You stepped out of it, and he doesn’t want you to take that step back, not even through memories. 

He squeezes you tightly, leaning his cheek on the top of your head as he holds you, rubbing your back. He smiles when you hug him back just as tightly. 

“You got the apartment that you wanted?” He asks. 

You nod against him, “yeah,” you whisper. “How’d you know?”

“Robin told me about it. And about the jobs – shit, I can’t believe you’re moving to Chicago.” 

You giggle and pull back, looking up at him with sadness yet excitement on your face. 

“If someone told me last year that you’d be moving to Chicago with Eddie Munson, I’d probably think they’re on drugs or something,” he says, chuckling. “No offense to Eddie, of course. I just – well, I never saw it coming.”

You laugh through your tears, wiping them away as you tilt your head up. 

“Who knows, maybe we’ll hate the big city life so much that we’ll come back in a week or two.”

He shakes his head in amusement, laughing, though it doesn’t match the look in his eyes. 

“No. It will work out. You always make it work out,” he whispers, smiling fondly at you. His eyes fall on the necklace around your neck, loving that you’re still wearing it, just like he will always wear the wristband you had given him. 

“What about you? How’s the job search going?” You ask, knowing that he wanted to quit his job at Scoops Ahoy for a while now. 

His eyes light up a little, he runs his fingers through his hair, nodding. 

“I actually have an interview today a-and I found a place.”

You raise your brows, eyes widening at his words. 

“You did?” 

“Yeah, my dad has been bitching about everything lately, I just don’t wanna be around there any longer. And hey, maybe Robin will move in with me, I got a spare bedroom there.” 

Your face saddens at his words. You know that he doesn’t have it easy with his dad. 

“I’m sorry about your dad,” you whisper. 

His brows knit together and he waves his hand, “nah, it’s fine. I’m just happy to move out.”

You nod, “I’m happy for you, Steve.” 

He smiles at you, “and I’m happy for you.” 

You stare at him, thinking about your childhood, your teen years, your friendship that you have to leave behind for now and you can’t help but get lost in the bittersweet sadness again. 

He watches the way your eyes get glassy again but he doesn’t want you to cry anymore. 

“Yeah, I know you’ll come back in two weeks. I know you can’t live without me. Remember that one time my parents took me to California that one summer? Yeah, you cried when I came back.” He jokes, giving you a teasing smile. 

A laugh falls from your lips, you roll your eyes at him. 

“That was in second grade!”

“Yeah and look at us now. Still crying, Dolly.”

You can’t even fight him on that but you chuckle through your tears. You reach for his hand, taking it in yours, you squeeze it tightly. 

“I love you, Stevie.”

He smiles, knowing the meaning behind your words. 

“And I love you, y/n.”

You hug each other one last time. 

“Have fun in Chicago,” he whispers, squeezing your arms. “And don’t forget about me.”

You lay your head on his chest, holding onto him for a moment, you’re greeted with sadness but you will leave it behind, it won’t follow you into your future. 

“I won’t.”

How could you ever forget Steve Harrington?

You tilt your head up and lock eyes with him for the last time, for now. You try to not let the hurt get to you – but you feel his pain and you see the longing in his eyes, you see the way they flash with regret. 

Even though he is happy for you – and you can see that he truly is. You still know that he wishes that he would’ve changed his mind when he still had the chance to. 

You know that this will haunt him for a long time but you don’t want it to. You don’t want him to get stuck in the past and think about what he should’ve done. You want him to move on and find the same kind of love that you did. 

You pull away from him after a moment and you leave the house together. You lock the door and put the keys in your pocket, looking at the home you grew up in, one last time before you walk away. 

Steve doesn’t tear his eyes off of you. He keeps looking at you, enjoying the last moments he gets to stare at you. 

He watches the way you cling to Robin, hugging her goodbye. 

He watches the way you shed a few tears as you hug Chrissy and Heather, one last time. 

He watches the way you giggle at something Argyle said to you. 

And then, you walk towards your boyfriend with a smile that transforms into the happiest one that Steve had ever seen. One that he could never put on your face. 

Even through the sadness, he can’t help but smile as he watches you. 

With a sigh, he walks towards Eddie, ignoring the way the man’s eyes flash with surprise when he halts in front of him. He takes a deep breath before he holds his hand out to him, both as a peace offering and to say goodbye.

Eddie stares at his hand for a moment before he takes it, still staring at him with furrowed brows. 

“Take care of her,” Steve says, glancing at you. 

Eddie shakes his hand, nodding. 

“I will,” he promises. 

“And if you hurt her, and I know I am a hypocrite for saying it, but if you do, I will hunt you down and chop your head off and feed it to Higgins dogs.” 

Eddie’s eyes widened in amusement. 

Steve sees the way you shake your head as you look down with a smile on your face, happy to see him be so protective of you, still. 

“Now that’s a good threat, Harrington. But I’d rather feed myself to those dogs than hurt her.”

Yeah, he would rather hurt than hurt you. 

That’s why he is the right one for you, Steve thinks. 

Steve watches the way you reach for his hand and he has to ignore the pain in his heart. 

“You ready to go, sweetheart?” 

Steve watches the way your eyes look into Eddie’s, the way they shine so brightly for him, the way his shine so brightly for you. 

You’re in good hands, that’s all that Steve needs to know.

“Yeah, I’m ready.”

He watches how happy you look with him. 

How full of life you are again. 

How in love you are with him. How in love he is with you. 

You will be happy, he knows you will be. 

And when you turn around, you flash him a smile that he knows he will never forget. 

“Goodbye, Stevie.”

“Goodbye, Dolly.”

He will see you again. He knows that you will come back to Hawkins someday but for now, you will be gone. 

And even then, he knows that you will always linger. 

-

Well, we made it to the ending. I'm sad that it's over, but you guys are still getting an epilogue. And oneshots/blurbs about this fic.

I hope you liked this story and had fun with it as much as I did.

Thank you for all the love and support I got from you guys, you're amazing and I'm forever thankful for all of you! 🩷

@taintedcigs @mysticmunson @wroteclassicaly @trashmouth-richie @corrodedseraphine @corrodedcorpses @xxhellfirebunnyxx @take-everything-you-can @sherrylyn628 @somethingvicked @nemesis729 @munson-mjstan @succubusmunson

[darlingfreddie]

Yall remember PUNK GOES POP???? 💀💀

[calibornedits]

Can you possibly do some 3rd/Last/Double Life characters as Homestuck/Vast Error panel edits please?

Specifically Desert Duo(Grian + Scar), Treebark Duo(Martyn + Ren), Rancher Duo(Jimmy and Tango) and/or Murder Trio(Grian, Scar and Mumbo)? :3c

All as trolls if you can! Sorry if that’s a lot (^^;)

Take your time and don’t stress yourself out with them too! I just found your art today and I’m in love :D

i would do all of them but i started running out of ideas 4 designs smh. spreading my jade scar and purple grian propaganda

ranting abt my designs and whatever lore i have for this au under the cut :dances:

ok ok so. i have a lot of stuff 4 grian so far so im gonna start with him.

first of all his horns r supposed to be somewhat like the evo symbol. shortly after the last edit he got kicked out of the brooding caverns early and they just kinda gave him over to whatever cult represents the watchers here. also it's my au and i get to decide what old grian content is canon. yhs is too. one of his horns got ripped out by sam while they were both like 3 sweep olds. also he dresses like a rust instead of a purple (w the makeup instead of facepaint. slay) because something something not wanting to associate with the other purplebloods.

for scar uhhhh. i just think he fits rlly well as a jade. cannot explain why. maybe it's lanque but he just gives me male jade vibes. also jellie is his lusus and thats important and everyone needs to know this. his whole story with jellie is kinda like crytum and platycat (if u havent played all of sbb, he never had a lusus and then got a cat one for emotional support after moving to the stronghold). scar's horns r also based off allay wings and i think they r rlly cool :D

i made mumbo a gold and i was gonna make his eyes red like redstone, but i thought he fit more like jentha with whatever the fuck she had going on. his horns r supposed to be redstone torches. dunno where he fits in the present though (ie second edit) maybe he died idk.

i have less 2 say abt ren and martyn since i dont remember much from 3l but i am so insane abt them. ren as a rust and martyn as an indigo :shoutpole: GET THIS. ren takes sestros place as ceo of the world basically but his second in command is on the complete other side of the spectrum. idk if the differing lifespan thing is canon in ve (like it is in aleph null) but it WOULD be funny if it was.