#im gonna make multiple. of these
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Another year, Another lesbian pride gown moment🌸
#deliart#pride 2024#jjba#jojo's bizarre adventure#jolyne cujoh#hermes costello#jolymes#stone ocean#I MADE IT . LAST DAY BUT I MANAGED TO FINISH IT BEFORE JUNE ENDED#This artwork file ended up with well over 500 layers#i would check the specifics but im not gonna open that thing and wait for a solid 3 mins for it to load LMAO#there are soo many things i wanna change and do differently but its the last day of pride month so times up!#wait i had to change a thing so i opened the clip file and we were on 546 layers not counting differently named ones#like copied layers. of which there are multiple. “layer 133 copy 2 copy 1”. its bad. im NOT gonna merge layers tho.#either way. i wanted the dress fabric layers to have a bit of a butterfly wing feel but i got a little sidelined#maybe ill make a more direct version next year?
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Another assortment of images to draw your self ship(s) as.
Do NOT Interact: Pro//Ship + Neutral, adults who ship with minors, and real people shippers
#self ship#self shipping#safeship#yumeship#yumeshipping#yumejoshi#yumedanshi#art prompt#self ship prompts#f/o imagines#imagine your f/o#💞 Prompt: Multiple F/Os#👤 Prompt: Self Insert#⛵ Prompt: Self Ship#(dies) (comes back from the dead) (says im gonna post more) (makes one post and dies again) its a vicious cycle
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She's such a lovely pokemon...... :]
#Kane's memos#Princess the Houndoom#pkmn irl#pokemon irl#rotumblr#rotomblr#pokeblogging#// ''im gonna make 'lazy art' to post to get back into drawing pkmn irl images'' I say before spending multiple hours background editing
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wanted to draw a new outfit.........
[siffrin is from the videogame in stars and time]
#in stars and time#siffrin#siffrin isat#art#fanart#digital art#i was gonna draw multiple outfit but im not very good at coming up with them haha#new challenging aspect: making them look short...
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they can never make me hate you

(collage by me)
#this was gonna be multiple collages#one for every character that is generally hated by fandoms that i'll never hate#but i couldn't think of any#and im watching korra reactions rn and just felt like only making this one after reading and hearing such terrible takes#korra stans/defenders get behind me#tlok#the legend of korra#legend of korra#korra#avatar korra#tlok korra#korra tlok#venux's “they can never make me hate you”s#lok#EDIT: kinda pissed that i did the hearts so faintly but i don't have the korra pics anymore to quickly remake it eeh
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30.06.2025 im high how dio i renioji fuck todays anthy !
my girllfriend absdi thought it would be interesrting if i saw how i well could draw if i was inebriated specifically ummmm i uh whart the hell i was saying idf i was drunk or high or crossfaded how i would draw um idf i was crossfaded as in driunk and high so i would like you to know i anmmmmmmmm defineyely enmbarrrasingly driunk AND high right boew im going to make it untebloggabke but i promise i eill try a better rendition of it when im sober to make up forrrr making you suffer thru a post of when im high and drnk okayyyy im also going OK now I switch to voice audio because I think I’m becoming too drunk and high to be able to type anymore with my Apple pen but I just want to specify the height auntie in the very corner is I’m done buying my girlfriend from when I was absent from when I was going to do something unrelated OK I need you to know that my girlfriend drew that high and the heart in the corner that’s very important to me. You have to know you have to know that hallow Anthony’s girlfriend also contributed to the Ampey OK how do I end this OK how do I un-this how do I how do I end voice to text? How do I am voice to text? 
#helloanthy!#im hope i make I am hope I make text to speech correct HelloAuntieOnlyDone#Text to speech I hope that this only ends into the spell it out. OnlyHelloAuntieTag.#OK honestly I think that I’m spending too much on the text to speech hashtags so I’m I’m gonna try to#Fuck that I hit the character limit in text to speech OK I hope I post this at a time that is a multiple to five
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be mine 4 ever <3
#my bloody valentine#tom hanniger#mbv#my bloody valentine 2009#jensen ackles#cw blood#recently have become obsessed with tom hanniger#ily princess !!!!!! (ignore the murders)#special thank you to jensen ackles for playing multiple characters that im obsessed with#this has happened to david tennant too#its so hard trying to draw jensen ackles characters cuz it’s just dean in a different font. but i need to make him not look like dean.#dean-adjacent#the dean winchester effect#omgitskaiisart#was gonna colour this but im gonna draw him again ill save colours for a different banger#artists on tumblr#my bloody valentine fanart#my bloody valentine 3D
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God I don't want to be too harsh because I know nobody means any harm by it but the way people analyze the Voices drives me crazy sometimes. Not even in the sense that I disagree with what's being written, but more in the sense of how these analyses treat the Princess.
I feel like in a certain section of the fandom there's this reluctance to admit that the Voices aren't always "positive" (for lack of a better term) characters? You'll see people give lip service to the idea that "it's good for a character to have flaws!" and then turn around and try to excuse their worst moments (and it's like. You don't have to do that. You can still like them).
And one of the consequences of this type of analysis is that the way the player's and the voice's actions affect the Princess is downplayed. I have seen analyzes of Happily Ever After which barely even mention the Princess, because they're so fixated on defending Smitten. I've seen people write off entire chapters as "bad" just because they didn't like the way the Voices were acting (with, again, barely a mention of the Princess). The Greys and the Witch chapters are arguably where both the Player and the Voices are at their worst, but fans will still twist around to make the Princess the sole villain of the story.
I don't know. I hate making these kinda posts because I don't want to shame anyone from writing/drawing something they love. But as a big fan of the Princess it's really saddening to see her pushed aside in favor of the male characters.
#i don't know if im gonna put this in the tag or not. im worried about accidentally vaguing someone#(for the record: this isn't aimed at anybody specific. This is something I've seen multiple times from multiple different people)#'just make your own content which focuses on the princess then' i'm doing that buddy#but im only one gal who is perpetually suffering from burnout#and part of the fun in fandom is collaboration#chatting with people and adding onto their ideas#but it feels like people are uninterested in engaging with the princess beyond like a surface level#it's sad#full disclosure the gaming baby is having a rough week so this might just be bothering me more than normal for that reason#other full disclosure part of the reason Sacrifice the Yourself exists is bc i wanted to make a fun AU which was focused on the princess#& her vessels#it actually evolved from a different stupid AU which was like. the princesses & voices form a terrible RPG party to go on a hunt to find#the narrator#and to convince him to stop being such a weenie#i ditched it in favor of the swap AU bc i thought that was less convoluted lmfao#actually fuck it no one's online right now anyway#slay the princess#stp
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Not in the TADC fandom and I don’t know anything about TADC ships but…
Kinger talking about his wife and then, in that context, telling Pomni that the worst thing she can do is make someone feel like they’re not loved. And then the first thing she does when she sees Ragatha is thank her for always being concerned about her? And she doesn’t say anything like this to anyone else??
#help i asked my brother what pomni’s pronouns are and he was like “does she not look feminine enough for you to know??”#im gonna need to go to google to find the ship name i cannot figure out how to put their names together#buttonblossom#oh that’s cute#button is probably ragatha so blossom must be pomni somehow#oh apparently there’s multiple ship names?#jesterdoll#ragapom#those make more sense i think#my posts#the amazing digital circus#tadc#tadc episode 3#brother shenanigans
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heeyyy gaaanggg
the pose and the background of the album version (left) are based on oingo boingos only a lad album art. not cause i think he has anything to do with it but just cause ive been wantin to draw that pose for like. weeks and i didnt know who to put there. so why not my latest bug man.
#my art#digital art#digital painting#fanart#resident evil 7#ethan winters#goddd PLEAAASEEEE#i havent known if i was gonna post this or not multiple times in the process of drawin this. but ultimately i spent too much time on it to#NOT post it. embarrassment be damned#but at the same time what am i even doin yknow. what is this what is goin on pleaaseee PLEASEEEEE#I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT RESIDENT EVIL!!! I DONT KNOW N O T H I NG I KNOW LESS THAN NOTHING#HOW?? HOW DID I GET HERE??? WHY DID THIS HAPPEN???? i know exactly the answer to all those questions but it still boggles me how fast this#happened. usually it takes WEEKS if not MONTHS for me to start makin fanart. this was faaasttttt TOO FAST and im like. genuinely constantly#thinkin about this game. im ALWAYS thinkin about this game. part of why this took me so long to do is cause i always wanna play re7 or thin#about re7 in a strange and deranged way. ive actually genuinely been SICK WHAT HAPPENEDDDDDD#im losing it!! anyways this took me a looonggg ass time and i redrew it soo many timmmessss#i did like. 3 lineart passes. the album version i did 3 shading passes. i really struggled!! and ultimately i dont know how i feel about it#like i kinda resent it. for takin so long and makin me suffer so much#never again. never again will i spend that much time on a drawing. i HATE when drawins take a long time. i HATE that. it makes me madddd#ive been insane. ive been so insane. and im not gettin better like i cant sleep sometimes cause im thinkin about this game and this guy and#that gal like i think about them!! so! so much!! oh my god!!#in the time it took me to finish this ive done like 10 sketches for other pieces like. and ive had like 3 ideas ive written down.#and like 50 that i havent written or sketched.#IVE WRITTEN POETRY!! P O E T R Y !!!#i write the occasional poem when im feelin some kinda profound emotion but i NEVER write poetry about media SOBBING#anyways thats the post i think this is the beginnin of the end so lets hold hands and pray. ugh sorry if i get sick. im shakin.
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me: im not really into any sort of zombie-ish au, I think they're usually fun but not really unique, in the end the reliance is on a lot of gore and viscera which isn't too interestin-
ah shit oh fuck ah god
#ooc#im having Thoughts now#i LOVE horses with multiple legs. you know how many hungarian folk tales i listen to for fun#shit!! im fucked im gonna buckle and make monsters with new brainworms
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☆ even the gods bleed [ pt 3 ]
{☆} characters neuvillette, wriothesley, furina {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, multi-chapter, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings none {☆} word count 1.9k {☆} previous [ 1 ] [ 2 ]
Wriothesley was not a man of superstition. He did not kneel at the altars until his knees bled, he did not pray until his voice gave out– he did not, contrary to popular belief, suffer divine punishment for his apparent lack of respect.
After all, what Divine would look so deep beneath the waves just for a glimpse of the sinners that inhabit it?
Not them, evidently.
He hadn't slept in the past four days, though. There was a heavy air of something where ever he walked– it followed him like a thick fog, lingering and choking him until it dragged him to his knees like a chain. His thoughts inevitably linger on the striking, extravagant letter so conveniently adorning his desk at the fortress– the broken wax seal, the letter tucked into his pocket.
He'd recognize the seal of the Iudex any day. Wasn't often he spoke to him– but the shaky, distorted words hastily etched into the paper made him pause. Neuvillette always had a steady hand– elegant, flowing script that him of flowing water.
It had kept him up for days.
The implications were..haunting. He'd poured over the letter for hours, illuminated only by faint light of his desk lamp. Yet no matter how many times he tries to see what must be hidden beneath the ink, the paper itself even, he finds nothing but the shaky script of a request that sends a bolt of pure frost through his veins.
He noticed, of course, the odd goings on of Fontaine. He'd heard vague whispers of the Divine's hunt for the imposter– he'd heard, too, of the ceaseless rain pelting Fontaine until even he wondered if the nation would finally sink beneath the waves.
It didn't, though. And that only made it all the more odd. Days of constant rain, just for it to stop suddenly..he tugged his coat tighter around him, throwing up the hood of the cloak clasped even tighter over it with a grunt as he leaned around the corner of the alleyway.
He didn't believe in superstition, but this was too hard to ignore as a simple weather anomaly.
Maybe that was why he ignored his gut– he knew that this was probably a trap, at the very least it was suspicious. But damn it, he couldn't ignore the instinct to follow the only lead he had.
His boots clicked against the rain stricken streets as he stalked through the shadows, mindful of the clinking of machine patrols just a few streets away. Yet every step felt heavier then the last as he took a long, good look at the Palais Mermonia. He almost considered bringing out his gauntlets, but he thought better of it– if it came down to it, he needed information. And he would need whoever was waiting for him alive for that– the dead don't speak and all that.
The letter's directions led him in a..rather roundabout entrance to a secluded room, evidently, as he lifted his hand and quietly knocked against the door. Two rapid knocks, pause, another knock, pause, four knocks. It doesn't take long until he hears the latch of the door unlock.
The leather of his gloves creaks as he clenches his fists, adjusting his stance. He's ready for a fight, if he must, but as the door quietly slides open he feel the weight on his shoulders relax slightly– the familiar, sharp features of Neuvillette meets him. He almost reflexively smiles at the way his pupils turn into thin slits, a momentary surprise that he quickly hides well behind a cough and the creak of the door as he pulls it open fully.
"Wriothesley. I see my letter has found you well. Please, come in." Polite as ever, Neuvillette steps aside to let him in, but he can see the exhaustion lining his features– the bags under his eyes aren't as well hidden as he thinks, at least to him. "Bit odd to be inviting me all the way out here in the middle of the night, don't you think?"
His tone is smooth as he steps into the room, brushing down his hood and glancing at Neuvillette over his shoulder, watching as he shuts and locks the door behind him.
"I apologize for the..less then ideal circumstances, but I'm certain you will understand when you see for yourself." He wants to retort, but the Iudex beats him to it, vaguely motioning to the room behind him. An invitation– but he wonders if it's worth taking.
His gut says no, but he's feeling a little risky today, he supposes.
He turns back slowly, barely able to make out the two figures he'd missed on the first glance on the other side of the room– though it's hard to mistake the flourish of the Hydro Archon, even in the dark. It's the other figure that makes the breath hitch in his throat, though.
Or maybe, more accurately, it freezes. So does his blood, his whole body even, locked in stasis for a long, tense moment– he can't see them clearly, but his instincts are going haywire. He can feel his vision almost rattle where it rests against his left shoulder, cold leaking through the layers of clothes and into his skin until he has to fight to suppress a shiver.
He'd always fancied himself the hunter– he was the one who dealt with unsavory folks, in the end. But he felt like a rabbit pinned beneath the crosshairs of a gun this time. He could almost feel the teeth of the bear trap snapping shut around him, crushing bone and flesh beneath cold metal.
For a long moment he thinks he feels fear.
And with a sharp click and a burst of light, it's gone and he takes a raspy, choked breath as he blinks away the blurriness in his vision, taking in the room illuminated by the lamp.
He's not sure what he sees is better, though.
Because his body knows that their Divinity is as real as the blood running through his veins.
So why do they remind him so much of himself? Why does he see the look of the boy who died in a pool of blood not his own in them?
It is a sick, cruel kind of familiar.
Wriothesley didn't believe in superstition– but that was born of the unknown. He knew, now. He could reach out and touch the truth with his own two hands.
The throne of the world was a lie.
The thing sitting on it bled red. And if it bled, it could die.
He clenched his fists tighter– and released, letting his shoulders slump with a huff and a half hearted chuckle. "I wasn't expecting you to be in possession of a wanted criminal when you sent me that letter." He could see the gears whirring in their heads, the subtle dampness in the air reminding him just how delicate a situation it truly was.
He wasn't particularly inclined to getting blasted by a jet of water today.
"Relax, I'm not going to spill to anyone else. Seriously– don't get my jacket wet. It's expensive and a nightmare to dry." His lips quirk into a half smile, but it twists into something almost genuine at the laugh covered up by a cough he hears from the Divine. Bingo.
"It's fine, Neuvillette. Let him go." Their voice is like honey dripping from their lips, and he has to close his jaw with his hand before they can see the way it dropped in his surprise. "Of course, most Divine. My apologies." He relaxes at the sharp click of his heels as he joins them on the bed, his posture far more relaxed then he's ever seen. The Hydro Archon, much to his confusion and amusement, is far too invested in playing with their hair to pay much attention to him now that things have calmed, evidently.
Huh.
They seemed pretty cozy about it, he noted. He guesses they three of them had some time to get acquainted.
"So..who's going to explain what the hell is going on?" He probed, crossing his arms over his chest and watching the three carefully– they all looked tired, but even through the exhaustion neither seemed inclined to stray too far from the Divine. "And what exactly your plan is? You can't keep hiding them here forever. Someone will sniff them out sooner or later."
"We are aware," Neuvillette interjects, lips pursed into a thin line and his thin brows furrowed. "But as I'm sure you've noticed, the hunt for the..forgive me, most Divine, but the hunt for the alleged imposter is still at it's peak."
He grumbles in acknowledgment, hanging up his cloak by the door and sliding out of his heavy coat, resting it over the back of a nearby chair. "Hm. Suppose that's why the patrols are so common now a days."
"I'm afraid so. As you can imagine, we cannot simply ask them to..stop the search. It would draw unwanted attention and suspicion. The Divine would be found immediately if we tried to bring them out of the city at the moment." Neuvillette added, looking proper and elegant, despite the circumstances– even in the face of the Divine and the Archon turning on him and tugging his hair into intricate braids. "So I hope you understand that it was a great risk to send you that letter."
He rubs his chin, huffing in amusement– a solid plan, maybe, but his power didn't extend too far out of the Fortress. He had his connections, sure, but what use were they when he had to get the, uh, "imposter" out of Fontaine? Smuggling them out wouldn't be easy, and then there's the point of where to take them they'd have to contend with.
"Yeah, yeah– I get it. But it's not like I can just smuggle them out or keep them in the fortress. Even if we got them out of the city, we'd have to find somewhere to bunker down, and if someone spots any of us lingering there.." Archons, what a mess he'd gotten himself into. He was really looking forward to the next time he could kick his feet up with a cup of tea.
"I understand. I have already made plans, in fact." Neuvillette hesitates, and he can feel the temperature drops a few degrees. "I..cannot share them in full at the moment, but it is not for a lack of trust." Neuvillette reasoned, hands folded neatly in his lap– not that it hid the way they shook slightly. He wanted to ask, but he thought better of it.
"Eh, I don't hold it against you. The walls have ears, even up here." He deflected, running a hand through his hair. He really hoped Sigewinne wouldn't ask too much when he gets back. "I trust your judgment." He hesitates for a long moment, pulling out a simple, neatly folded letter of his own.
"Memorize the code words, then burn it. I'll be waiting for your next letter." He murmurs, plucking his coat and cloak and tugging them back on one after another, shuffling back over to the latched door. He hesitates again, his hand lingering on the door.
"I just hope your plan is worth the risk, Neuvillette."
He leaves before he can respond, the harsh click of the door ringing in his ears even as he steps back into the shadows of the night.
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#imposter au#genshin cult au#genshin impact cult au#furina#neuvillette#wriothesley#furina in the back just awkwardly sitting there bc she aint fighting wrio KHSDKHFKHJ#she was there for his trial when he killed two adults as a CHILD shes not fighting the adult version no ty#also writing reader to be as lowkey eldritch horror as possible. they r just playing nice rn but :)#reader collecting fontaine chars like pokemon cards#anyway wow i wonder what his plan is...wonder who it is he's involved besides wrio.......haha#cough cough#:]#looks at my other fics. haha.........ha....#anyway#slowly bringing in the key players one by one but it's probably gonna be in multiples now#if u guess correctly who neuvi is making plans w u get a lopsided gold star sticker that says “good job!” :]#i promise the lore will make sense soon (it wont im making it up as i go along)#if u see any typos no u didnt#zzzzzzzzzzzz gn#fic tag
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Seven Sentence Sunday
tagged by @theotherbuckley @diazsdimples @tizniz 💖
today a different wip again that I don't think I shared yet lol - writing a smutty sequel to my bucktommy post-first date fic and it's barely started but there's progress! 😅
___
“Say that again.” Buck says quietly, even to his own ears sounding almost frantic. His hands twist in the fabric of Tommy’s t-shirt, and pull him as close as possible with their seatbelts on. He needs to get to his place as soon as possible and get enveloped in Tommy, no room for air between them, he just needs him closer, closer, closer.
“Say what?” Tommy teases, lips brushing the shell of Buck’s ear, knowing damn well what Buck wants to hear.
“You know what.” Buck pulls away slightly, just to meet Tommy’s eyes, and can’t stop a pout that quickly turns into an awed smile. It’s a late evening, the sky is dark, just like the inside of the car, only illuminated by the lights of the city as they’re driving, and Tommy looks so gorgeous. There’s an amused smile playing on his kiss-swollen lips, but even in the dark Buck can see his own desire mirrored in Tommy’s eyes.
“What?” he smirks, leans closer to press a kiss to his lips again. “Baby?” he whispers, and Buck shivers, a sharp gasp escaping him. Oh, he likes this. He likes when Tommy calls him just about anything, in that wonderful voice of his, but this, being called a pet name like this by a man, it’s new and thrilling, and that man being Tommy is just so exhilarating, it makes his racing heart skip a beat, and it only adds to the heat pooling in his stomach. Shit, he needs to get Tommy alone right the fuck now.
___
no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @thebravebitch @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @watchyourbuck @eowon @loserdiaz @evanbegins @ladydorian05 @wildlife4life @diazpatcher @lover-of-mine @monsterrae1 @thewolvesof1998 @weewootruck @loveyouanyway @spagheddiediaz @rainbow-nerdss @epicbuddieficrecs @pirrusstuff @spotsandsocks @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @nmcggg @rogerzsteven @hippolotamus @giddyupbuck @sunshinediaz @honestlydarkprincess @underwaterninja13 @exhuastedpigeon @911-on-abc @jesuisici33 @steadfastsaturnsrings @buddieswhvre @fortheloveofbuddie @your-catfish-friend @daffi-990 @dangerpronebuddie @hoodie-buck @aroeddiediaz @bidisasterevankinard
#seven sentence sunday#fic snippet#wikiangela writes#my writing#my wips#911 fic#911 abc#bucktommy#tommy kinard#evan buckley#bucktommy post-date fic#buck x tommy#bucktommy fic#bucktommy smut#this is definitely more than 7 sentences but idgaf haha#they're making out in the backseat of an uber btw lol and buck is *impatient*#lowkey having trouble deciding if it should be multiple dates with them going further and further each time#(bc it'd make sense based on part 1 of this lol)#but also buck is just insatiable rn so who knows haha#i love Tommy’s voice and im gonna project that onto buck *so* hard lol
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I think I finally realized what chemistry was when I noticed how much Steve and Peggy LACK.
When I write and people used to say, "Make your characters have chemistry!" I didn't know what that meant but then It dawned at me that Steve and Bucky call eachother nicknames, and hug, and Bucky throws his arms around Steve's shoulders and they tease eachother and also remember that time Steve dropped behind enemy lines for Bucky?
Steve and Peggy literally just don't have ANYTHING. The only logical explanation is Steve boy and Peggy girl. Nothing really shows they're into each other that much until Peggy gets jealous after a girl downright forced herself on Steve like WHAT?!?!?!
Like we really can't have shit in this house.
#tw breif mention of sa#marvel#mcu#steve rogers#bucky barnes#peggy carter#i swear i hate it here#at least with Tony and Pepper we got to see their development over multiple movies#LIKE I WAS ROOTING FOR THEM#if your not gonna have a love interest that makes sense JUST DONT DO ONE#FOR OUR SAKE#GEEZ#HE KISSES HER ONCEEEE#AND NOW YOU WANT HER HAND IM MARRIAGE?!?!?#IS STEVE ROGERS A CANON SIMP?!?!?
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i have no idea how to draw her anymore. but rouge thoughts
#purp doot#rouge the bat#sth#sonic#her design is heavily outfit-oriented but if im gonna model her i'd like to be able to give her multiple outfits#which means she needs a base model with no clothes#hence the color experiments and such#maybe i should fuck with her body type some more i feel like i could make it more fun
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I've found it interesting that both Jax and Ragatha are essentially two sides of the same coin. How they mask their true feelings and interact with others is always some kind of front.
However, they both seem to have tried to reach out to Pomni in a way they hadn't with the others (Jax after Pomni spent an adventure with Kinger, his attempt at reaching out at Spudsy's) (Ragatha pretty much all of episode two etc)
I am wondering that, since she is new, they are trying, in their own way, to get validation from the new person without realizing it yet.
i agree so so much!!!! jax and ragatha feel like theyre very specifically associated with one another writing wise VERY deliberately. the theme song alone separates the characters into chunks (gangle zooble and kinger. ragatha jax and kaufmo) that pair the two up, theyre constantly interacting, that they share two spotlight eps, and so on. almost all of the characters, imo, have some sort of narratively significant dynamic, but jax and ragatha is absolutely one that is given extra detail, which definitely highlights the idea that theyre VERY different but also VERY similar in an important way
jax is decidedly the most Mean of the cast, and ragathas the most Nice, put simply (bc that is subjective, but i think the opposite degrees of friendliness the two exhibit are pretty clear), but that in itself IS some sort of mask, with their masks getting partially dropped in ep 4- i dont think theyre fully dropped and i dont think it has to do with 'jax is secretly nice' or 'ragatha is secretly mean' so much as the episode highlights the idea that theres more context to why they act how they do, and that the two of them are both putting on some kind of performance, though the extent of that isnt so cut and dry i think
i think ive seen it described better by others than i could but i think its very much that they are what the other lacks, in the least healthy ways possible. id consider them foils, because a person could argue theyre far more similar than meets the eye (with the severity of their masks and that both display an at least partially disingenuous happiness) but i think that they still mirror each other strongly enough that its them being foils that actually highlights these similarities at all- everything they do is opposite from one another, even down to how they treat the npcs (jax enjoying the idea of causing them harm because theyre not real, it doesnt matter, he can do what he wants, vs ragatha whos as kind as possible to the npcs, the reason for which being unclear since she doesnt seem to view them as alive, but likely a need for approval, so she does what she wants, too), but it has a similar root cause for WHY they do these things, and how it impacts their personhood by slowly stripping them of themselves
the two absolutely seek approval so so hard. ragathas more blatant in it, stating directly that she wants jax to like her even if she hates him- that she doesnt think pomni likes her (the idea of which causing her distress). she needs people to like her so bad. theres a lot of possible reasons for this but frankly it really seems to stem from her placing her own self worth on the care of others. it distresses her deeply when she thinks someone doesnt like her. on the topic of the npc thing it DOES seem like its some attempt at being cared about, even in an absurd situation. ive discussed it before, but it reads like fawning, HARD, particularly when shes around kaufmo- it makes no sense for her to try to appeal to his emotions, to apologize to him and try to convince him of something that would make him less upset, even if its not true, when she KNOWS you cannot really reason with abstracted players
it reads more like instinct, then, that others need to like her and shell do anything even if its putting on a face in order to maintain that. its not healthy and reads as insincere to others at worst, and makes it hard for others to know whats real with her- but she seems to genuinely care. its just that once you base your entire identity socially on others liking you, or being liked by as many people as possible, the line between you and the fake, palatable version of yourself becomes blurred to the point of hardly being visible. it makes it hard to maintain that approval longterm, because it damages trust and damages her own sense of identity, which runs the risk of making an awful gradually deteriorating loop of her trying HARDER to appeal to people and putting people off MORE in the process
jax doesnt seem to care so much, sort of. hes a little confusing to break down bc he is deeply contradictory (not in a poorly written way, hes just quite fucked up). he likes to do what he likes to do. he likes to do things he finds funny. but ive mentioned it before, that i dont think he hates them. theyre entertaining and the fact that he keeps his face up around them implies that he does care what they think of him. during the evaluation, he says 'no one can see this, right?' hes the most emotionally repressed person alive as said by gooseworx herself, but this is a performance for himself and highlights that he assumes others have the same expectations of him, too. he cant be uncool, but WHY does he care if the others thinks he is? if he truly didnt care about the others opinion of him, hed just... never pretend. how can someone so obsessed with doing anything that HE finds fun regardless of others opinions of him STILL give a shit what anyone thinks? (is it because he wants the appearance of having it together? but then, thats dictated by others view of him, not the other way around)
i see it interpretted that his shittiness is him lashing out at people, which i think is true somewhat but not quite in the typical way. i dont think hes unhappy and snapping at people because of it. i dont think the circus made him an asshole, so much that i feel like he was already a bit unpleasant to others, but with no true consequences, and being deeply unhappy made him start leaning on being MORE of a dick. hes unhappy, so hes going to BE happy, and if that means throwing someone of a truck for laughs or pushing people around or dropping them in deep fryers so be it. its not real anyway. its a desperate desire for joy at the expense of others. but this is destroying any semblance of companionship he could have, and given that i think hes the MOST social of the cast, constantly talking to people and joining things, i think this has worn at him in its own way
(both jax and ragatha seem to had deeply adapted to the circus but in cartoonish ways- ragatha treats it all like its real for comfort. jax treats it all like its fake but engages in the cartoon bullshit it all has to offer)
thinking on it, what with how pomni assures gummigoo and what kinger tells pomni, theres probably something to be said about the fact that, of anything, the only real thing IN the circus is how people feel about one another. when everything around you is fake, the only real things are other people and your interactions with them. ragatha and jax both seem keen on participating in distractions (jax avoids participating actively in the pilot but he DOES suggest the adventure, and seems to have a lot of fun participating in ep 2- though its in his own 'everything should go my way and if it doesnt ill mope about it' way. ragatha outright speaks positively about them as a way to keep the players minds 'healthy and stimulated' and seems to see them as a genuine attempt on caines part to keep everyone sane. theres something to be said about the stupid sauce too probably) and in putting on their faces to cope
but a new player doesnt have all these fake concepts ingrained in them yet, and pomni as she is is a deeply blunt person on top of that. she acts often on instinct but she also speaks her mind openly (really, shes who jax WANTS to be... sort of. if that makes sense). of anyone in the circus, she IS the most 'real' and how she treats people is genuine, and it makes me wonder if jax and ragathas interest in her isnt JUST a desire for companionship bc of the inherent loneliness and isolation of the circus and how that wears on a human, but further, a desire for something truly real in their lives; a genuine connection with a person who is utterly sincere. something real, despite it all
#ask#tadc#circus discussion#i think ragatha also operates from a place of genuine concern#she wants to make sure ppl are ok which imo partially sstems from her being stated to have seen multiple players abstract#(frankly likely Many)#and w how she puts it on herself to help others it makes me think she probably feels guilt over the ppl shes seem abstract :(#that if she doesnt help what if the worst happens?#jax on the other hand is like...#i dont think its quite a 'pushing people away because theyre gonna abstract anyway'#i mean. maybe a little? but not quite in the way ppl assume that works#so much as i think its 1. not smth he intentionally does#and 2 that hes simply decided its not all worth the effort rather than smth he actively prevents#(given that he seems to be approaching pomni often)#hes unpleasant and he knows it and being someone ppl want to be around requires more effort than its worth#and i dont think he realizes how lonely it makes him#which i feel like has turned into a gradual downward spiral#of 'people dont like me bc im an asshole so i dont care if they like me ' then becoming more unpleasant bc hes around ppl he has#awful relationships with that further feeds into it#its a self fulfilling prophecy of 'im treating people bad and they dont like me bc of it + they dont like me so i dont care what they think#and will keep treating them bad'#but YA#i feel like this is all over the place buuuuut jax and ragatha highlight very interesting concepts in the show#thru their differences... smiles
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