#im kinda free rn so i spent many times to draw them

[romeowtoo]

[sneakupandhitya]

OMG R U . INTO HXH RN .. I LOVEE HXH SO MUCH WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SCENE .. WHAT ARC ARE YOU ON

OHHHGG MY GOD.....yes i am. i love hxh so much.......i cant put into words how happy this ask makes me i feel like im making everyone i know insane because i talk about it so much. warning for upcoming rant in three two one! penis! i got into it last may and was so obsessed.....once i finished the 2011 remake i was. So depressed though lmao. i get ridiculously invested in shows to the point where i feel bad and guilty if i get into something else at the same time like im being unfaithful or something...so anyways after i finished i started watching the 1999 anime, the movies (slightly atrocious, very messy but charming and hunter hunter content nonetheless), all that...i spent the whole summer drawing and watching and sleeping on the floor. i was really sad but it was good time! eventually though i tried to get into other things, which i did....but recently one of my friends started watching it. Rookie Mistake. now i wont stop talking to her about it lol along with one of my close friends whos already finished it who has to deal with me Speaking in Tongues basically about hunter lore. i need a lobotomy, im sweating, im shaking, im a pointless animal, i can no longer Restrain Myself. i will be talking about the sillay minecraft grass block boy and his gay little pals at your wedding. to your kids when i babysit them. in the nursing home to the very exhausted nurse whilst she attempts and fails to make me eat my jello cup or my peas and carrots. ANYWAYS again, some s tier characters imo are gon n killua (obviously....i love gon so much though. i kinda relate to him a lot) knuckle, nobunaga, meruem, pakunoda and uvogin...alluka...bisky..leorio..i love so many i feel like most of(looking at you palm 💀) the characters are so well written. im in the process of watching it again but im. All over the place. i started at chimera ant because i was so confused my first watch, got half way through but got too sad and rewatched greed island again. finished that, back at chimera ant again...almost done. my first watch i actually wasnt really a fan of greed island...i feel like it was just a training arc really, and i didnt think the antagonists were that interesting. after finishing hxh i kinda looked back on it as a lighthearted but Decent arc, a nice segue from the stress but (compared to chimera ant) Normalcy of yorknew to the craziness of what was to come next. however.....upon watching it again, after knowing what all happens later? greed island hits so much different to me. as of right now, greed island is probably my favorite....but all of the arcs are so good in their own ways. as for favorite scene....ohghh my god i have so many...i dunno where you are in the show, if youve finished it or not!! so ill try not to get too spoilery but i really love gon and killuas interactions. im in love with how their friendship is written and how at a glace it looks so...black and white but once you learn more about the characters you realize how interesting and more...grey they are?? they are so Neat. sorry for this long ass rant i could and Will talk for hours about it!! thank you so much for the ask, it really means the world ((':> if youre still watchin i hope you like it!!! feel free to rant about the sillay little hunters in my ask box id love to hear your thoughts <333

[spacejew]

oops accidental personal post I guess

It's weird that I almost feel the need to go here to personal blog again because of a handful of irl friends following what was supposed to be a private personal Twitter in theory, just for like, idk, internet strangers and friends I made online not those imported from meatspace. Also those character limits... Suffocating.

Anyways yeah things are kinda stable but dissapointing lifewise? I'm definitely in a rut and stuck somewhere I'm desperately trying to get out of. Also like. idk. Gender shit. I think I really fucked myself over hard when I made the decision a few years back to conviously bottle up all my dysphoria and trans feelings and bury them and repress them hard and just live as a very gay and feminine bi boy and like. hm. I think I've been happy since? But im thinking now that maybe. Because that's still a part of my psyche that haunts me every day. I might actually have been mildly depressed this whole time and like, still struggling to make important life decisions because of the anxiety of that. Idk. Maybe if I got a therapist and realistic attention to that all those years ago and it turned out to be very real n legit and i got to make tough choices and live my truth, I would be equipped now to actually be joyful and able to fully focus on hard work and taking risks and putting myself out there and being successful and shit. Idk idk idk. I just have to wonder if all this time I've actually been quite unhappy and filling the void with dumb shit and a good deal of dissociation and complacency. Idk. what I'm saying is maybe I made a big mistake there lmao and could've started transitioning, if that's right for me, 4-7 years ago maybe, who knows. Haha so fun. Fuck me. Big Regrets, lads. But also I still don't know if that's right. Which probs means it is who am I kidding. Oof. But it's ok life is a journey I'm full of wise shit and I know it's not the end of the world. It just kinda. Makes me so sad on behalf of the old me who would cry so much because of dysphoria and living in this body in this life. She knew. I don't know why I buried her alive like that. Anyways.

I spent all year struggling to make an animated short (which ended up being kinda long tbh like 10 minutes?) by myself mostly, just me and my mental blocks and executive dysfunction and shit, but I was v passionate about it and worked hard and got to actually bring a whole vision to life, with basically nobody to tell me what to do, just give me feedback that I wasn't obligated to follow. It came out pretty nice and I'm very happy that I got to tell exactly the story I wanted and try a cool new look and I just wish I gave myself more time to work on the actual animation part but I put my heart and endless weeks and months of refinement into the storyboarding and script and every little detail and I really feel accomplished and like it paid off -- and I even got to do a private screening at my summer camp job that I was called in to do one more time at the last minute right when I finished my film, it was a miracle and so perfect, everyone cried and truly loved it and felt touched by it. And then I went to animation festivals! And all this cool shit! But... I haven't been able to figure out a public screening thing yet. And I feel like all my excitement is gone now. And I really wanted to polish the look and some backgrounds a little, just some very quick rerendering and comp, but. I feel like too much time has passed, i just feel dissapointed. I haven't put it online yet cause I haven't done my public screening, cause of my stupid anxiety about little details and overall idk imposter syndrome I guwss I feel more ashamed of it than proud of it even tho it's probably good, and like I feel that everyone was excited to support me but probably nobody cares anymore.

Basically I had all the wind taken out of my sails. Oh and right when I was trying to get it off the ground I guess and push through, my grandma died. I'm so heartbroken I loved her so fucking much and. She never got to see the film cause of my stupid bullshit. I feel so bad about that. So so bad. Ugh. And it's a film very very hilariously blatantly directly based on me and my feelings and my real family history, ultimately besides other main themes it's about talking to your grandparents and family about the past and your current feelings. And in it the main character, a girl, cough cough even though it's basically me, cough cough go figure, gender shit, anyways the climax is her going back in time to talk to her great grandma, and it's very emotional and my best friend of like almost 10 years now composed and recording a music for that scene for me. And now when I eventually screen this, my entire family and also myself is gonna get torn to shreds by this scene more than intended because my own fucking grandma, who I was excited to show this film to more than anyone on earth, passed so unexpectedly without seeing it. Fuck. Why didn't I send it to her when she was in the hospital? Obviously cause if I did that that would make it real and she wouldn't get better and all I do is live in denial. Ugh. Anyways yeah. The point is I'm stagnant and in a rut right now and just want to move forward and focus on making new work and just get a real career relevant job already. Tough year hit a well needed high and now petering off back into misery. Not to be dramatic. I'm ok tbh I have a part time I'm slowly getting sick of and a loving supportive partner and some very good friends, tho not as many as I used to see regularly and that's kinda sad too. That's your 20s babey.

I just need to move on and make big changes. My pattern rn is like. Work fri-sun, if I'm lucky I get to hang out with friends or lovers, usually at least with my partner. on monday I recover from working. on tuesday I have dnd and usually get some stuff done but honestly just catch up on warframe with my clan friends. wednesday my partner and I got to the park and library for half the day and eat and draw and talk. on thursday I mentally prepare for work again and usually we go out to play another roleplaying game with her roommates friends. a lot of that free time that's been left unmentioned is spent being over at bae's sometimes so I don't have the ability to get much work done. Lately I've spent most of my time planning a dnd campaign which is fun but also too stressful on account of obviously I'm not playing it yet so like what's the point, sorry friends who have patiently waited for months for me to be ready to start the game for them. And also like. Yeah idk. just sad and confused and resting my weary heart and body after a very rough month after my grandma passed. But! I did accomplish a very crazy deep cleaning of my room. I threw out 14 bags of shit at the least. I wish I weighed it all, it was a lot. I feel so much more organized and cleansed from that. For the record I didn't have any trash in my room, nor was it every a mess. Just every single cabinet and drawer was crammed full of stuff and I guess I hoarded a lot of shit. I was able to throw away a lot of things I held on to be cause of sentimentality and I'm proud of myself for growing that way. So like. Idk. It's not all bad, baby steps. I still feel like I'm constantly improving as a person! I'm positive, optimistic. Just tired, anxious, and feel bad.

Also I finally got a new phone and because of my hubris I dropped it without a case and it shattered only two weeks in. The day I was gonna buy a case. But it's ok. Story of my life I guess. I can't keep everything pristine and polished forever, one day shit falls and breaks but it's still usable. It has character.

I wasn't expecting to dump everything like this, sorry yall. Thanks for reading I guess. Also I forgot how to do a read more on mobile lol sorry

[makumii]

Answers to last rb - End of Year Meme

First things first, did you have a good year? kinda???? it sure was interesting and the first half sucked balls..

How old did you turn this year? 21

Do you feel your age? I feel 14 and 36 at the same time - it sure is fun to be alive

Did your appearance change in anyway? finally dyed my hair again! (currently blue) Also ears pierced in december

Post your favorite selfie. jokes on u i dont make selfies

If you traveled, where did you go? spent a week in cologne at a friends place for gamescom and another week in the middle of austria on a farm! (vacation - wooohoo)

Which fashion trends did you love? i dont even know any trends that occured this year help

Which fashion trends did you hate? see above

What was your favorite article of clothing this year? Post a pic if possible? very recent but that one fancy black coat i got myself for christmas (https://www.emp.at/p/malphas/397063.html)

What song sums up this year for you? Breathin - Ariana Grande but the Thomas Sanders cover

What album came out and has been on heavy rotation since then? i dont even know what got releassed this year what is timeee

What was your favorite movie of the year? HOOOO boy okay: Klaus, Frozen 2, Joker and that’s about all that i remember

Did an actor/actress catch your attention for the first time this year? not really, i didnt have my eyes on many new faces this year

Favorite new TV show? She Ra probably?? Again, nothing overly new on that side |D Also not rly a TV show but I super got into critical role

Which new ship/fandom has taken over a lot of your time, attention, and tears? Entrapdak all the way - those two basically killed me Also Critical Role (thanks B.) -> I’m only 40 episodes in the second campaign but BOY am I deep in

What food did you try for the first time? none as far as i’m aware?

Did you make any big permanent changes this year? uhhhhh i think my confidence got a boost in the second half of the year so i think that counts? Also ear piercings

What was one nice thing you did for someone else? sponsored an entire Christmas market visit for my best bro (Food and souvenirs included)

What was one nice thing you did for yourself? as cruel as it sounds, i broke up with my boyfriend which was quite freeing Also finally dyed hair again and I am LIVING

Did you develop a new obsession? Critical Role |D

Did you vote? Yeap

Did you move? Nope, but I might move out in 2020

Did you get a job? already had one, but thanks for asking <3

Did you get a pet? nope, only plushies

Do you regret not doing anything? OH Y E A H - there’s a bunch of things (not dancing with my maybe-crush at the christmas party, not breaking up sooner with my bf, and some other things i won’T remember rn but I am the master of not doing things and regretting it afterwards)

Do you regret doing something? probably, but i currently don’t remember; I’ll probably think of it during my next breakdown

Have you done anything that scared you? nope, didn’t do it because i was scared and now I regret not doing it |D

Did anyone/thing make you so mad it stayed with you for days? I don’t really get mad? But the biggest ball of negative emotions was caused by my breakup

Did you lose anyone close to you? my ex! we broke up and he didn’t want to stay in touch so there’s that

Did you fall in love? actually i might have; still working on figuring that shit out

Did you fall out of love? nope; even tho we only broke up this year it’s been over for me since the end of 2018

Did you start a new relationship? no, but there might be something in the works???????? IDK what to make of this situation

Did you go through a break up? ohhhh yeah - and it wasn’T as bad as expected (we already had a big major breakup at the end of 2018 so i already was prepared for the ‘final’ one)

Did you have to cut ties to someone? It wasn’t my choice unfortunately

Who was important to you this year but wasn’t important last year? the first person that came to my mind was important last year too so idk? no new people in my life

Who wasn’t as important to you this year as they were last year? my ex (I love how he’s in most of the answers lmaoo)

If you could have a do over on one thing you did, would you take it? heck yeah! if i had the chance to dance with that one dude?? I’d say yes immediately (he was kinda disappointed i said no so I SHOULDVE SAID YES)

What was the best moment of the year for you? have to name a few actually: - christmas party at work (including a mario kart tournament) - gamescom (and staying at a good friend’s place for a week!!) - christmas dinner at my granny’s bc i finally got to get back to my second half of the family) - my almost 1.0 GPA at school

What was the worst? - breakup (even if it wasn’t as bad, it still sucked) - my almost 1.0 GPA (SO CLOSE sklhgfsdköfjhskdö)

Did anything happen that you were sure would change you as a person but it really didn’t? - the break up -> but i guess since i saw it comming it didn’t have as much power over me - a certain thing i might’ve done last year around christmas but wasn’t as bad as it seemed?? it’s all chill and just showed me some things about me that i wasn’t as certain of

Did anything happen to you that you were sure wouldn’t change you as a person but it did? actually no?? not that im aware of - okay maybe the maybe-crush accidentally helped me with my self confidence but uhhh idk if that counts or sth

What are you most proud of accomplishing? some sort of SELF WORTH got out of a toxic relationship

What have you learned about yourself this year that you didn’t know in the years prior? idk next

Did your opinion of anyone change for the better? honestly i don’t know, i still love my friends and no one is better off all of a sudden? idkkkk

Did your opinion of anyone change for worse? nope not that i’m aware of

If you make resolutions, did you complete them this year? even if i did make some I don’t remember them oops

If you make resolutions, what will your resolutions be for the coming year? maybe draw more? get back into piano playing? something like this also v important: 2020 me, dont let others ruin your self worth any further!!!!!! GO AND ROCK THOSE CLOTHES!!!!!!!!

If you could go on an adventure during the remaining days of the year, where would you go and what would you do?  Who would you go this? I’m perfectly content here at home - the most adventurous I’d do is going to a friend’s place or something

What do you wish for others for the coming year? Lot’s of love and happiness, I wish for everyone to find their family and being able to surround themselves with people they love and that care about them!

What do you wish for yourself? That I stop being such a scared lil shit Srsly, if smn cute wants to dance with you u better say yes!!!!! Also that I can find more parts of my true self