#im scared. im angry. im frustrated | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cod-bin · 1 month ago

Text

don’t look at me like that (unless you’re gonna stay)

wc: 1.9k

series masterlist (part 4)

a/n: yall can eat this up while im away 💋

cw: slight mentions of sex, heavy swearing by simon, angst (only a little), angry!simon (not at reader), jealousy

He doesn’t say anything else that night.

Not after the kiss. Not after the way he climbed into bed with you like it was second nature, like you were his and he was tired of pretending otherwise. Just laid there — rigid at first — like his body didn’t know how to relax. But you felt it. The way he slowly gave in.

The way his fingers found yours in the dark and curled tight.

Now it’s later. Still dark. Still quiet. You don’t know how long it’s been, only that Simon hasn’t moved. Not really. He’s still behind you, chest warm against your back, arm slung low around your waist.

His breath ghosts the shell of your ear, steady and deep, and for a second you think he’s asleep.

But then he shifts. Just slightly. Like he’s trying not to wake you.

You keep your eyes closed.

It’s stupid, maybe — the way you lie there, pretending. But something about the stillness is too fragile to break. Like if you speak too loud, he’ll remember who he is. Who you are. And it’ll all fall apart.

His fingers twitch against your stomach.

You wonder if he’s thinking about the kiss. You are. You haven’t stopped. It’s branded into you now — the way he kissed you like he was angry at himself for wanting it so badly. Like he’d been holding back for so long, he didn’t know how to be soft.

Maybe he doesn’t.

Maybe he’ll regret it in the morning.

That thought burrows under your skin like a splinter, sharp and sour. You swallow hard.

Because he’s Simon. And Simon kisses girls he doesn’t call back. Simon stumbles in at 3 a.m. with perfume on his collar and scrapes on his throat and never, ever stays the night.

Except… he’s here.

Still.

Wrapped around you like he needs it.

It doesn’t make sense. None of it does. And the longer you lie there, the worse the knot in your chest grows — tight and anxious and scared to hope.

He could have anyone. He has had anyone. Pretty, loud, wild girls with glossy lips and legs for days. Girls who don’t disappear into silence. Who don’t hide behind their bedroom doors, afraid of their own cough echoing through the walls.

So why you?

What the hell could he possibly want with you?

Your throat feels thick again. Too full of everything you’re not supposed to feel. You try to breathe past it — in, out — but it gets caught somewhere between fear and disbelief.

Behind you, Simon shifts.

“Why aren’t you asleep?��

His voice is low. Not groggy — just rough, like gravel dragging across concrete.

You hesitate.

“Didn’t mean to wake you,” you murmur.

“You didn’t.”

There’s a pause. Not heavy, but full. Like he’s giving you room to say something else.

You don’t.

After a second, you feel him move — slow and deliberate — until he’s propped up on one elbow. You feel the heat of his stare before you see it.

“Turn around,” he says quietly.

You don’t want to. You don’t trust your face not to give you away.

But you do.

And he’s right there — face shadowed in the dark, eyes impossibly soft for someone who’s always been made of stone. He looks at you like he’s trying to read something in your silence, like your stillness is speaking a language only he can understand.

“What’s goin’ on in that head of yours?” he asks.

You blink up at him, startled. “Nothing.”

“Lie better.”

Your chest tightens.

“It’s nothing. I just…” You trail off. Then you force a little laugh, weak and unconvincing. “It’s weird. Having you here.”

Simon’s jaw ticks. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He doesn’t ask what you mean. He doesn’t have to.

You see it — the way something flashes behind his eyes. Guilt, maybe. Frustration. You’re not sure.

He shifts again, leaning closer, until the room feels too small for what’s sitting between you.

“You think this doesn’t mean anything?” he asks, voice low.

You blink. “What?”

“This.” His hand brushes your side, where his arm had been wrapped. “Us. Right now.”

Your mouth opens. Closes.

“I don’t know what it means,” you admit.

He studies you like that hurts more than it should.

And then, suddenly, he’s talking.

Not loud. Not fast. Just steady. Steady in the way a dam breaks — slow at first, then impossible to stop.

“I don’t do this,” he says. “Stay. Lie in someone’s bed. Let ‘em see me like this.”

Your breath catches.

“I know I’ve made you feel like shit. I know I’ve been an asshole.”

You try to look away. He doesn’t let you.

His hand comes up — fingers grazing your cheek, thumb brushing your jaw.

“You think I don’t want you,” he says softly. “You think I just came here to fuck.”

You flinch.

“I didn’t,” he says. “I swear to God, I didn’t.”

“Then why?” you whisper. “Why me?”

It comes out too raw. Too desperate. You hate yourself for it — for needing to know, for asking like it matters.

But Simon doesn’t pull away.

He stares at you for a long moment, like he’s weighing something heavy.

Then he leans in, presses his forehead to yours.

“You’re not like them,” he says, so quietly it makes your heart ache. “You never were.”

You swallow hard.

“You hide away. You think no one sees you. But I do.”

He kisses your cheek. Your jaw. The corner of your mouth.

“I see you when you’re tucked in the corner of the couch with your books. When you sneak out in the morning before I’ve even gotten dressed. When you cough in your room and think I’m not listening.”

You close your eyes. “Simon—”

“I notice everything,” he says. “And it’s been driving me fucking crazy.”

And then he kisses you again.

This time it’s not frantic. Not angry.

It’s soft.

Like he’s trying to prove something.

Like he’s scared of what it’ll mean if he doesn’t do it right.

You melt.

There’s no other word for it — you melt into him, into the heat of his body, the weight of his hand on your waist, the way he kisses you like you’re precious, like he’s afraid he’ll scare you off.

When he pulls back, he doesn’t go far.

Just enough to look at you again, eyes unreadable.

“I don’t know how to do this,” he says.

You reach up, touching the side of his face.

“We’ll figure it out.”

He stares at you for a moment longer. Then he nods.

“Yeah,” he breathes. “We will.”

—————

Simon doesn’t let you go.

Even after everything’s been said — after the softest kiss, after the whisper of we’ll figure it out — he just holds you. Like maybe if he lets go, it’ll all come undone. You feel it in the way his arm tightens around your waist, in the way his nose nudges the side of your face like he’s making sure you’re still there.

You let yourself lean into it.

Let yourself want this.

“You should sleep,” he murmurs eventually.

You shake your head, voice low. “You’ll disappear.”

His silence answers you. Not a lie. Just quiet.

Then — “I won’t.”

You glance up at him, skeptical.

He huffs, almost a laugh, eyes heavy but honest. “I’m shit at this. Doesn’t mean I don’t want to try.”

You don’t know what to say. So you nod. That’s all. Just… nod.

Simon shifts, presses another kiss to the top of your head. His voice is rough again when he speaks, but not like before. Not angry.

“You were right, by the way.”

“About what?”

“I hook up with a lot of girls.”

Your stomach twists.

“But it’s not because I want to. It’s ‘cause I didn’t know what else to do. You think I didn’t notice you? Truth is, I noticed you so much it fucked me up. Every time I saw you in the kitchen with your tea and your goddamn hoodie sleeves over your hands—”

He pauses. Breathes. Shakes his head like he hates himself for saying it out loud.

“I didn’t know how to want someone like that. All soft and quiet and real.”

Your heart is beating so loud it hurts.

He exhales. “But I want you. And I’m not gonna pretend I don’t anymore.”

You’re quiet for a moment.

Then, softly: “Okay.”

That’s all he needs.

Simon pulls you closer, tucks your head under his chin, and stays.

—————

You stay like that for a long time, just breathing each other in, the quiet of the room thick and heavy but somehow safe. You realize how much you’ve been craving this—the simplicity of being held without having to pretend, without the noise of the world pressing in.

Simon’s fingers trace lazy patterns on your back, his touch steady, almost reverent. The way he looks at you now, not with that usual cocky edge but something softer, something almost fragile, makes your chest tighten in a way that’s both terrifying and thrilling.

“Never thought I’d say this,” he murmurs, voice low enough that it’s just between you two, “but I’m glad you got sick.”

You blink up at him, startled. “What?”

He presses a gentle kiss just behind your ear. “Because otherwise, I wouldn’t have had a reason to come find you like this. To actually be here. Not just passing through.”

Your heart twists. You want to tell him it’s not fair, that you don’t want him to just show up when you’re vulnerable. But the words catch in your throat, and instead you lean into him, letting yourself be held.

There’s a long pause. Then he whispers, “I don’t do feelings. You know that.”

You nod slowly. “I know.”

“But maybe… maybe I can learn.”

And in the quiet dark, with his arms wrapped around you like he’s never letting go, you believe him.

☆taglist☆

@little-mini-me-world @h0lydrag0ns @just-lost-inbetween-worlds @pixiellove @fruitymoonbeams-blog @jokerivory @arrowacer @4ri3n @yasmin-003 @charliehunnamsleftsock @strawberrymilk99 @queenoflaflames @xigua2kuai5yijin @arnnf @genea-myers @elixir-of-dreams @turtlegreentia @pinkembodiment @bbygirl9 @echo9821 @illyanam1011 @luciferstempest @lostintransist @dethspllz @letstryagaintomorrow @hypertail @cr0wbrz @enfppuff @elegantangelenthusiast @trashprincss @youngandweird @mafer383 @eremika104 @avgdestitute @poshestpigeon @tessakate @hyperobsessedd @ohdrey89

#☆sonya yaps☆#simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley #simon ghost x reader #cod x reader #simon riley x you #call of duty #call of duty modern warfare #cod x y/n #ghost simon riley #simon riley imagine #simon riley cod #simon x reader #simon riley #fuckboy!simon

510 notes · View notes

rafeslvbug · 2 months ago

Note

OBSESSED WITH FLORIDA KILOS!READER she def goes to church after she moved in with rafe bc she lowkey thinks that her praying did save her. she probably would sneak out of his house to go to the earliest service so she can be back by the time he’s up, until one day she gets caught

(idk who you are but im in love)

your days of praying by her bedside, bloodshot eyes, slippery cheeks, hands soaked with salty tears but still clutching the gold cross you found under barry’s couch, had finally paid off.

god had sent you an angel. he’d sent you rafe.

and rafe wasn’t perfect, but he took care of you like no man ever had. he’d protected you from all the evil in your life like you prayed to God someone would. and you had done much bad in your life, and you weren’t worthy of His forgiveness, but He had granted it nonetheless.

you were not going to screw this up.

you prayed quietly in the separate bedroom you used to have before you begun sharing with rafe. but when you began to sleep with rafe, in his bedroom, it became harder.

there was a church down the road, and you’d wake up at 5am just to slip out of bed, put on the finest dress rafe had gotten you and rush down to the church, by foot because you didn’t know how to drive. the ladies there would turn and look at you when you came in, a few minutes late and flushed. but they’d smile because you had been coming here for the past few weeks and were bright eyed and the most dedicated girl they’d ever met.

you would pray to God each time that he kept rafe in your life. He could take whatever He liked, but if you had rafe, life would be okay. you prayed because you were so terrified you could lose it all.

it would last an hour each day, you’d never slip out a minute earlier, and if you could spare it, you’d make up for the lost minutes in the confession box. then you’d be running back to rafe’s house, hurriedly changing out of your clothes and back into your pyjamas, sliding under the sheets with rafe and feigning a yawn when he wakes up.

only except one day, you slip through the door, only to see rafe sitting up. in bed, hair messed, brows furrowed, shirtless and angry. but his anger only morphs to confusion at your dress. he thought you were sneaking off to barry, or scared you were clinging to bad pasts and habits, but you looked like a little saint in your lilac dress, hair pinned up all nice.

“where the hell have you been?” he demanded, as you sat on the edge of the bed, knowing you’d be caught. you recited tiny prayers in your head, scared that God was about to take rafe from you despite your pleas. maybe it was because you hadn’t done enough.

“uhm..” you clutched the gold cross at your neck, rafe’s eyes honing in on it as he raised an eyebrow. “i’ve been at church..the one down the road,” you murmur, timidly.

rafe lets out a laugh, but at your frown he turns serious. “oh you’re for real?”

you nod, knowing it was a bit out of character but not wanting to feel ashamed for it either.

“how long you been sneakin’ out?” he questions.

“past few weeks..” you mumble.

“you ever gonna tell me?”

“yeah..”

“when?”

“i dunno..” you mumble, looking at the slight frustration on his face. “don’t be mad! i really would have told you, and it’s only a four minute walk!”

he nodded and sighed, rubbing his eyes. rafe knew well enough not to doubt people’s faiths, hell he should have been going to service himself. “okay, uh..why?”

“because i believe in God..”

“since when?”

you flush red, casting your eyes downwards. “since i met you, i suppose.”

rafe smiles, slow and spreading across his face when he asks, “what are you on about, baby?”

you purse your lips together in a tight smile. “i prayed to God..that he’d help me when i was with my ex. and you showed up the next day..i didn’t wanna lose that.” you feel almost embarrassed for saying it out loud but rafe starts chuckling, running his hand down his face with a sigh.

“that’s cute, you’re cute. but i would’ve always been there for ya, baby.” he murmurs, grinning when you glare at his defiance of your belief. “lemme drive you from now on, kay? what time is it?”

“i’ve been goin’ at 5..” rafe shoots you a look as if to say he’s not waking up that damn early.

“there’s one at eight too..”

“i’ll take you then.” he glances up at you and the cross you’re fiddling with. “d’you wanna replace that cross with a new one? where’d you even find it?”

“under the couch, barry’s place. and i’m keepin’ it, it’s the one that got me you.” you say defensively, clutching it closer to your chest as you swing your legs up onto the bed.

he snorts, “yeah it’s the one that’s gonna give you some skin infection too.”

486 notes · View notes

oaksgrove · 1 month ago

Note

hi love! I hope you're doing alright ♡

im here to request a tiny, little angsty piece. I can picture John being so, so tired from work that he just can't stand being touched, but his beloved needs it so badly, so they go for it (holding his hand) —don't get them wrong, they always ask! but they also had a bad day. John snaps, accidentally smacking their hand away.

little angst, with John comforting withdrawn neurodivergent reader after he accidentally snaps at them, which turns into them comforting each other because "you're tired - no, you are tired", until John moves to seek their touch himself

Tired.

Pairing: John Price x Neurodivergent!Reader

Synopsis: Some days are too much. Too loud, too bright, too sharp. When the world presses in, you don’t need grand gestures. You just need John to understand.

Warning: Sensory overload, brief miscommunication/startled response, hurt/comfort, soft reconciliation

The kettle was screaming again.

High-pitched. Piercing. It had only just started, but it dragged across your nerves like nails on glass. You stood frozen in the doorway of the kitchen, jumper sleeves stretched down past your hands and gripped tight in your fists.

It was just a kettle.

But it wasn’t.

The hallway light was flickering again, same as yesterday, the bulb stuttering in the corner of your vision. The drawer next to the stove was open again—your carefully organized cutlery now out of order, one large spoon stuffed awkwardly into the teaspoon slot like a mistake you couldn’t fix. And the boots—

Thud. Thud. Thud.

John’s heavy steps across the kitchen floor, back and forth, back and forth like a pacing bear in a too-small cage. He was muttering again, voice low but rough with frustration.

“Fucking brass—changing the op schedule last minute—bloody nightmare—”

You winced.

You weren’t scared of him. Never had been. But the noise, the pressure, the weight of it all pressing down around your shoulders—it was too much today. Too loud. Too bright. Too off.

You didn’t even realize you’d whispered his name until his voice cut through the air, sharp and fast.

“What?” he snapped, turning with a furrowed brow, hand half-raised in mid-gesture.

It wasn’t loud. Not really.

But it cracked something in you.

Your whole body stiffened. Like a rubber band stretched too thin. Your shoulders drew up high and your chin tucked down, sleeves clenched in your fists, throat closing up.

John stopped.

Instantly.

His face changed—brows falling, mouth parting with regret blooming like a bruise behind his eyes.

“Shit—no, love—wait—” he stepped toward you quickly, one hand out, then hesitated, hovering like he didn’t want to crowd you. “I didn’t mean that. Christ, I’m sorry.”

You said nothing. You looked down.

And that was somehow worse.

“I was just—” he started again, then cut himself off with a frustrated sound, softer this time. “Fuck, I was bein’ a right bastard.”

You shook your head. “It’s fine.”

“It’s not,” he said.

You tried to breathe. The room felt too big and too tight all at once. The kettle shrieked one last time before clicking off. Still too late.

“I didn’t mean to be in your way,” you murmured. “I didn’t mean to interrupt. I just—everything’s loud today. I didn’t want to make it worse.”

John stared at you. His mouth twitched like he was about to argue—but then he caught himself. He crouched a little in front of you instead, like he was trying to shrink himself. His voice lowered.

“You’re not makin’ it worse. I am,” he admitted. “I know when I get like this—loud, angry—I make things heavier. And you’re carryin’ too much as it is.”

You didn’t answer. Not right away.

Just tried to unknot your fingers from your sleeves.

“I don’t always have the words,” you said finally, voice thin. “Some days I just… can’t talk properly. Or explain why everything feels so sharp.”

John’s gaze dropped to your hands, your tight shoulders, the way you were trying so hard to regulate even as your body rebelled against the room.

“You don’t have to explain,” he said. “Not to me.”

You looked at him. A flicker of disbelief passed across your face.

“I’m not good at being…” you trailed off. “Easy. Or quiet. Or normal.”

John’s throat bobbed with a hard swallow.

“I didn’t marry you because I wanted normal,” he said. “I married you because you feel like home.”

A beat of silence. The flickering light still buzzed. But it felt dimmer now—like the world had shifted, just slightly, around him.

“You’re tired,” you said softly. “You’ve been pacing since you got back.”

His mouth tugged into a wry smile. “No, you’re tired.”

You blinked. “Okay. We’re both tired.”

He huffed a warm, half-laugh. Then—very carefully—he leaned his forehead against your chest. Not heavy, just enough for you to feel the quiet weight of him.

“You always let me come back,” he said, voice barely above a whisper. “Even when I act like a grumpy sod.”

Your hand came up without thinking. Just resting gently in his hair. Fingers threading through the soft, short strands at his crown.

“I love you,” you said quietly. “Even when you’re a grumpy sod.”

He exhaled. His arms wrapped around your waist.

“I’m sorry for snapping,” he murmured. “Sorry for making today harder.”

“You didn’t,” you whispered. “You just startled me. That’s all.”

You held each other for a long while—standing in the middle of the kitchen, kettle off, boots stilled, lights flickering quietly above. Nothing had changed. But everything had softened.

And when John eventually pulled back to press a kiss to your forehead, he didn’t say anything more.

He just reached over, finally closed the drawer the proper way, and turned off the light.

“C’mon, love,” he said gently. “Let’s go sit down. I’ll make you tea.”

taglist: @honestlymassivetrash @pythonmoth @kittygonap @rainyjellybear @anonymouse1807 @twoandahalfdimes

364 notes · View notes

evie-sturns · 1 year ago

Text

secret - Chris Sturniolo

summary: chris wants to keep your relationship a secret from the fans, which means he is never around as much as he should be. this sparks an argument, where chris suggests that you 'should just leave.'

contains: angst, cocky!chris, crying, fluff, yelling, comforting.

----------------------≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫----------------———

i lay in chris and i's bed, wrapped up comfortably in the thick sheets.

my head snaps up to look at chris as he swings open the door, he walks inside the room wearing a white tanktop and some black sweatpants.

"just gonna go film." he says vaguely before walking out of the room,

"chris- can i come!?" i call out,

"y/n, no. we talked about this" chris sighs, i get up out of bed and walk towards him,

"please- i don't have to be in it, i just haven't seen you for like a week." i say softly, chris shakes his head, practically discarding me.

"i see you every week, ill be gone for about two hours okay?" chris says blankly,

i feel my face grow hot with embarrassment, i feel like im practically begging for chris to want me, even though im his girlfriend. anger courses through my body, pushing me to my breaking point.

"why- why do you not care about me- or anything i have to say!" i raise my voice, pointing my fingers at chris's chest as i glare my eyes.

"you don't scare me y/n." chris chuckles, bringing my finger down from his chest.

"proves my fucking point! right there--!" i yell, chris just stares at me with a smug smile on his face.

"we agreed to keep us a secret-" chris starts, but i cut him off

"we both agreed to keep us a secret from your fans, not everyone else you've ever known! yes- i get it your fans will be mad but you're- your'e-" my voice breaks as i turn away from him

"don't be acting all pissy because i have a job and you don't." he raises his voice at me,

"excuse you?" i almost laugh,

"yeah, get a grip y/n, honestly." chris sighs, grabbing his phone and going to walk out.

"don't fucking leave-" i shout, "you're a horrible person chris-" i say, holding back floods of tears.

"maybe you're just being a sensitive little bitch?" chris says, the regret is prominent on his face as soon as those words leave his mouth.

"you're being- so mean-" my voice breaks, tears rolling down my flushed face.

"then leave- i'm actually done with you're bullshit, please leave." chris raises his voice.

i look up at him, "actually-?" i say through loud sobs,

he hesitates for a second before speaking, "i- i dont know- if you can handle me being popular then leave-"

"your ego is incredible you asshole-" i squeeze out, walking past him.

he grabs my chin and stops me in my tracks, his large hand clasped tight around my small chin. "excuse me?" he looks down at me,

"i'm going to find nick." i sigh loudly,

"no you're not." chris states,

"i thought we were done?" i say with a loud cry, i wipe my tears away quickly.

suddenly matt peeks his head through the door, "everything okay in here?" matt asks with concern clear on his face

“fuck off matt, genuinely.” chris raises his voice,

“dude, you’re making her cry-“ matt points out, his eyes locking with mine.

“and it’s none of your business, fuck off!” chris yells shakily at matt,

matt walks into the room angrily, pushing chris’s shoulder. chris let’s go of my chin, discarding me.

“you want my girl now?” chris almost laughs as he approaches matt,

“she’s literally like my little sister and i’ve known her my whole life- so god forbid i ask if she’s okay after i hear you scream at her through the walls!” matt grows angry,

“y/n can’t understand that the fans can’t know about me and her, that’s literally it- she’s just being ignorant, like always.” chris speaks as though i’m not here,

“sort your shit out chris.” matt mutters, pushing chris backwards before walking out of the room.

“i- i think i’m gonna go to matt’s room.” i whisper, barely audible.

“yeah- go fuck him while you’re at it.” chris says with a petty tone,

i let out a frustrated sigh before pushing his shoulder back with an angry sob.

“pathetic.” chris scoffs, “do it harder-“ he taunts,

i storm out of the room, slamming the door shut behind me with a loud bang.

i swing open the door to matt’s room, he’s sat at the edge of his bed on his phone.

“matt-“ i sniffle, matt looks up at me before standing up,

“hey- hey you okay?” matt asks frantically, his voice soft.

“i think chris just broke up with me-“ my voice breaks, matt wraps his arms around me, pulling me into a hug.

“i’m sure he didn’t, he’s just upset right now, you think?” matt whispers into my hair,

i nod, “you can stay in my room tonight, i’ll get the spare mattress.” he suggests, i nod as tears continue to pour down my face.

“i hate him- ihatehimihatehimihatehim.” i sob, matt rubs my back,

“no you don’t, arguments are normal, it happens.” matt sighs.

“i do- hes so mean to me!” i bury my face into my hands.

“shh- sh it’s okay.” matt says, “are you in your pyjamas?” matt asks,

i nod, “okay- then let’s get out the mattress and you can get to sleep.” matt states.

he lets me go before tugging out the matress from under his bed, he throws a couple of blankets and pillows on it before handing me his pug stuffed animal,

“you want this for tonight?” matt asks with a small laugh, i grab the small pug stuffed animal before flopping down on the mattress on the floor.

matt’s always been like a big brother for me, he’s always cared about me so much.

matt bends down and covers me in the blankets, tucking me in. “try have a good sleep okay?” matt whispers, i nod with a small ‘thank you’.

————-

4:23am

i stir awake slowly, i sit up off the matress and look over at matt who’s fast asleep on the bed beside me.

i stand up before stumbling over to the door swiftly, the need to go to the bathroom is overwhelming.

i slowly creak open matt’s door and step out into the corridor.

my footsteps slap against the cold wood as i yawn loudly

i swing open the door to the bathroom, and i’m met with him.

chris.

he’s sitting on the edge of the bathtub, scrolling on his phone. i turn on the warm light which illuminates the small bathroom.

“oh-“ i whisper, spinning back around and reaching for the door handle.

“no- no please come back-“ chris’s voice wobbles.

he’s wearing spider-man pyjama shorts, the same ones that i teased him for a couple weeks ago.

he’s got a thin white shirt on and his brunette hair is messed up completely, his eyes are bloodshot and swollen along with his puffy lips and pink cheeks.

he stands up, looking down at me. i can see the gears in his brain physically spinning as he tries to think of what to say.

“i-i’m sorry i’m still here- i was gonna pack up in the morning.” i break the silence with a couple deep breaths.

chris’s face drops, he buries his face into his hands with a shake of his head.

“i- i didn’t mean that- i was just so caught up in the heat of the moment and i really- really- don’t want to loose you.” chris starts, his eyes watering

“and i’m so sorry for taking you for granted. i love you more than anything, i love you more than anything ever.” chris’s voice breaks loudly, he goes silent as his body jolts up and down.

“are you crying?” i ask softly, he nods.

i don’t say anything, just wrapping my arms around him, he hugs me back weakly.

he buries his head into my shoulder, his soft hair covers half my face.

“and- i’m sorry for crying i just- don’t want you to think i’m only crying for sympathy i just feel really upset.” chris clarifies, i laugh softly,

“i know sweetheart,” i sigh,

“and— and- you don’t have to forgive me- ever— i said proper mean stuff to you.” chris’s voice trembles,

“i forgive you, i just want my old chris back, yeah?” i rub his back,

“you will get that- forever-“ chris sniffs.

we stand in the cold of the bathroom, his arms holding me tightly now, as though he’s afraid to let me go.

i stroke his hair lightly with my manicured nails,

“chris- i don’t mean to ruin this moment but i really really need to pee- that’s why i came in here—“

@sturnsdoll @obvisturns @stupid4sturniolo @meerkatzthings @witchofthehour @rosalierenee43 @gabrielle-brun1 @ilovemymannnnnnnn @sturnioloxlver @buckys-goodgirl @sturniol0s@ilovemymannnnnnnn @chr1sgirl4life @luanetaluenta @sturnsssbow @mattfangirl @luvr4miya @luvtay111 @lolasturniolo @freshloveforthefit @ruedowney @lovingchrissposts @333michelle @h3arts4harry @jamiesturniolo @chrisstopherfilmed @itzdarling @ @daddyslilchickenfingers2 @ev3rgreenxtrees @certifiednatelover @solarsturniolo @mattsenthusiast @yomamaslays4lyfe @peachmels @alinaa131 @pepsiluvr0209 @creamoncreamoncream2 @szobofc @mattscoquette @blahbell668 @sturniolo04 @bitchydragonparadise @sturni0l0 @ratatioulle @sturnsfav @mattsonly @justalittle47 @sunsetsturniolos

@sturniolo04 @similartokayyz @sturnsintrouble @ilovemattsturn @raysmayhem-72 @75sturn @sturniol0s @secret-sturniolo @hfkeclnendmwodne @sturniolosass @gxldenlush @stonermattsgf @101sara @beccaluvschris @oliviasturniolo21 @imwetforyourmom @tylerstacobell @sunsetsturniolos @aliceloveschris @jayz4dayz4 @sassysturniolo2008 @nyktoxs-lover @nathandoesgf @starsturns234 @chrissturnsss s @joemamaaa42069 @sturnthepot @zayyluvz @realuvrrr @livialifesblog @sturnioloblogs @riowritesitall @raysmayhem-72 @sturnsjtop @mattsplaytoy @colorthecosmos444 @idkmanshrugg

#sturniolo #matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo x reader #sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x you #christopher sturniolo #christopher owen sturniolo #sturniolo triplets x reader #matt sturniolo fanfic #chris sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo angst

2K notes · View notes

bloodfiendarling · 8 months ago

Text

𝓹𝓮𝓷𝓽 𝓾𝓹

— ( do note this ask was sent before my rules post was out but ill let it pass bcz it doesnt break any rules )

ah hello ! !! this is the first time im writing for jingyuan sama ..! hopefully its to your liking anon .. <:D tho i did self indulge a lil much on this ... hopefully you still like it x_x

also , yes .! i love ryona . i dig it a lot .. please dont b scared to req anything with dark themes .. i will be cheering you on !

pair — reader x jing yuan

wc — ~1k

contains — sub bottom char, dom top reader, established relationship, gn reader, possessive reader, jealousy, (false) cheating suspicions, reader is kinda fucked up in the head, size difference (smaller reader), thigh humping, dry humping, reader is pretty forceful

you couldn’t stand it.

the way he would ignore you sometimes, when you two just wouldn’t be able to have some pda for the sake of his reputation. it pissed you off.

you want to love him! show him off, maybe. hug him, kiss him, hold his hand.. all in public. but you can’t — because he has a reputation to uphold here. and what made you more mad is the fact you’d hear your own colleagues talk about him. how they want to get with him.

what pissed you off the most about today, though? you heard someone spreading rumors. dating rumors. not between you and jing yuan, no. (you would’ve appreciated that, really) it was between him and some other woman — one that he’s been working with for a good while.

you clicked your tongue, entering his office. even just from your face it was obvious you were in a horrible mood.

“oh?” he started, with that usual lazy smile of his — “my dear, something on your mind?”

he shifted in his seat, adjusting himself so you could sit yourself beside him — which, you do — letting out a tired sigh. “rumours about you again, love.” you respond.

“mm, it’s the one with that woman, i assume?”

you click your tongue again. just hearing anything related to her set you off — c’mon, now.. it’s not like they’re actually together.. your dearest would never, ever betray you in such a way.

but you see the way that woman was — how she was smiling and all. laughing those rumors off, all while clearly enjoying the attention she got. it disgusts you. it worsens your mood more and more as you thought about it.

the general could sense your frustration — almost as if he read your mind. his expression softened a little bit, this time looking at you. watching you biting on your nail, whilst the other hand was balled into a fist, resting on your thigh.

“hey,” you looked back at him. the frustration was clear in your eyes. even you, yourself didn’t get it. what were you so angry about…? you can’t help but take it out on him. “you love me, right, jing yuan?”

“of course I do.” he replies — it’s short. it’s obvious. but in your messed up little head, it felt like nothing but a lie.

“prove it.”

“wha–?”

“prove it, i said.” you lean into him, a hand against his stomach. the gold part of his belt felt cool against your palm. for a second, it gives you shivers.

“here..?” the general’s voice was filled with uncertainty. “the door is still unlo–”

“that doesn’t matter.” you interrupt, “they’re not allowed to come in, right? locked or not. just tell them to leave if someone knocks. simple.”

jing yuan gulped down, eyeing the door once more before giving in — fumbling with his belt. slowly but surely getting that corset-like piece of armor loose and discarding it completely.

he’s so obedient whenever you were mad…

“c’mere.” you pat on your thigh, inviting him to sit on it — he does, obeying you. you were upset, he didn’t want your mood to go even lower. though, due to jing yuan being bigger than you, he was quite hesitant on putting his entire weight — he knows he’s quite heavy.. but you insist he sits down properly.

he felt shy all of a sudden — putting his hands on your shoulders, nuzzling his face into your neck. you didn’t know if this shyness was a result of the position, or the fact the door was very much unlocked — maybe both.

you had a hand on his lower back, as if inviting for the white-haired general — your free hand decided to run through his hair. it’s so soft… how could you not?

jing yuan lets out a whimper, hips moving on his own. slowly but surely running them up and down your thigh. his own legs shaking. you slip your hand into the side of his pants — feeling around his waist. he jolts at your cold hands, letting out a small gasp. those hands of yours continue to trace through his body, feeling his breath grow a little faster. feeling all over his back, his hips, his waist, him. just him.

you wanted to escalate this, though, you heard something. something he feared. a knock at the door.

“jing yuan, sir?”

a voice is heard, calling to the general. you could clearly hear his breath hitch. “a– ah.. who—nnh–!”

those hands of yours continued to tease him. featherlight touches all over his body, teasing him by slipping your hands into his pants every now and then — watching your darling general explain why the person couldn’t come in — stuttering on his words, trying to reason with them..

you felt mean today. you were in a shitty mood, after all.

he lets out a sigh of release when they finally decide to go — whoever that was leaving his office alone for another time. finally, he gets to calm down.

“i love you.” you whisper into his ear suddenly, “you love me too, right? you wouldn’t go for that woman, right? right?”

why did you doubt him, even?

you don’t know, nor did you care. all you wanted to hear was an ‘i love you, too’ from the general.. your general.

his weight was kind of crushing you.. but you didn’t mind it much. you pressed a kiss onto his neck, sucking into it to form a hickey. then another… and another. it didn’t take too long for his entire neck to be covered by them. you loved it.. marking him up as yours (as if wasn’t already..)

“m’gonna–” his grinding was growing a bit more desperate — damn, already?

“go on. show me how much you love me.” — those words made him whimper, closing his eyes. you pulled on his hair, yanking his head so jing yuan was looking at you — grabbing his face with one of your hands and inviting him into a messy kiss — tongue being forcefully shoved into his mouth.

“i love you, i love you, i love you.. mmMH—!” he said between eager gasps, feeling his orgasm washing over him. you could, too — that warm feeling on your thigh.

he wraps his big arms around you, moans being muffled by the kiss. he just couldn’t get enough, can he? he wouldn’t even care anymore if someone came in and saw him this way. neither did you. at least they’d know you were his.

“i love you, darling. please ruin me..”

hsr masterlist ♥︎

#♱ library of ruins .#♱ rabbit hole .#✸ astral express .#✸ cloud knights .#✦ jing yuan .#hsr #hsr smut #honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #sub hsr #jing yuan #jing yuan x reader #sub jing yuan #dom reader #sub character

628 notes · View notes

shigarosie · 4 months ago

Note

PLEASE MAKE A PT 2 TO THE FRANK DRABBLE WHERE FRANK AND THE READER END UP TG 😭😭🙏 IM CRYING I FEEL SO BAD FOR FRANK 😫

It's barely an hour later when you arrive back home, shutting the door a little too loudly and huffing a frustrated sigh that Frank can hear from your living room. He's lounging on your couch when you walk in, eyeing the television to see what he's watching.

"I hate baseball." You roughly drop your handbag down onto the armchair. "It's a stupid game."

Frank eyes you cautiously and, for the sake of your sour mood and his chances at living, he shuts the TV off. "Didn't go well, I take it?"

"He spent the whole time we were there with his eyes glued to his phone, checking the game updates on Twitter. I don't think he looked at me once after he showed up- late, might I add," you rant, pacing back and forth before you get fed up with the sound of your heals and kick them off. "And then- then! He tried to order for me. A steak for him, and a salad for me. Can you fucking believe that?"

"Do you want me to kill him?"

You stop and look at Frank, sitting forward on your couch, giving you his undecided attention. You know he means it.

"No," you sigh. Then you think for a moment. "But if you could find a way to greatly inconvenience him, that'd be great."

"His tires will be deflated first thing Monday morning," he tells you.

When you smile and move to the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine, he stiffens a little. He hadn't planned on being here when you got back, didn't expect your date to end so soon. You don't notice it at first, but after removing the cork from the bottle and turning to ask if he wants a glass, you see it.

"What's this?"

Frank's eyes do this thing- it's rare, but every so often he gets nervous and his eyes go from their default angry squint to these big, wide deer-in-headlights saucers.

"Flowers," he says. His gruff voice sounds different when he's quiet. No, not just quiet- when he's soft. It sounds raw and vulnerable. It tickles your ears and makes your heart flutter.

"I see that," you say slowly, examining the bouquet in the old vase you hadn't used in ages. A mix of pinks and whites and purples and oranges. "What's it doing here?"

Frank takes a deep breath. "Got 'em for you."

You smile; real, genuine, sweet. Like every ounce of anger and disappointment and insult from your failed date didn't exist anymore. "What's the occasion?"

"No occasion. Just... Thought you deserved flowers," he says, twiddling with his thumbs. For a moment you think you're looking at a much younger Frank, the one you know once sat under a tree and felt embarrassed to be told by a beautiful girl that he was butchering the song he was practicing. "Was gonna give them to you earlier but you were, uh, you were in a rush."

"That's sweet Frank," you say softly. "Thank you."

"I'd line up."

Your eyebrows furrow. "What?"

"What you said earlier, about not having any men lined up outside your door," he clarifies. "I'd line up."

"Frank-"

"And I'd scare off anyone who tried to get in line behind me."

You laugh, picturing it perfectly in your mind. "You don't have to say that just because I had a bad date."

"Maybe I wouldn't say it if the date went well," he says, his eye contact intense and unbreaking, "y'know, out of respect. But it would still be true."

You swallow. "You wouldn't have to line up outside my door. I would let you in."

Frank stands from the couch, slowly making his way to you. He takes the wine bottle from your hand and sets it aside, his other hand finding your waist in a featherlight touch you could hardly feel.

"Let me take you out tomorrow. Show you a real date- treat you like the lady you are."

You wrap your arms around his neck, and obediently, his forehead drops down to rest against yours.

"And tonight?" You risk asking. "How will you treat me tonight?"

His hold on your waist becomes firm, but not rough. "Any way you ask me to."

#posts from the meadow 🌼#frank castle x reader #frank castle fluff #the punisher x reader #the punisher fluff

283 notes · View notes

rubbership · 1 month ago

Text

ive been in five separate car wrecks, one of them that drastically decreased my physical abilities. both my parents, my grandparents, my aunts and uncles, and my sisters all think i'm stupid and sensitive and crazy because i refuse to learn to drive and have panic attacks in cars. i don't understand. i literally don't understand.

isnt it so cool that your parents can use their hands and mouths to condition you to be scared of literally everything and anything and then get to blame you when you fail to thrive

#im just so frustrated and angry and upset.#ive had some of the worst fucking experiences. my life is regular peoples fucking nightmares. and yet! and yet!!!! im still treated like im #insane for being scared of shit. it makes me so upset.#i couldnt stop thinking about how ( ) said the whole 'you let fear control your life' shit when i refused to watch a movie with them an #all i knew to say was 'yep it sure fucking does!' because like yes. yes. yes. yes. you know this. you know that i struggle with this. why #would you say that to me. do you think it makes me want to watch a movie with you MORE knowing you regard my ptsd as inconvenient to YOU?#YOU KNOW WHO ITS INCONVENIENT TO?#im fine #its easier to be angry than sad and i can tell that swhat im doing

5 notes · View notes

celesteleoves · 2 years ago

Text

“IM SORRY, I DIDNT MEAN IT.”

.ೃ࿐ GOJO SATORU X fem!reader

summary: satoru comes home tired and exhausted, so exhausted he lets words slip that he didn’t mean.

warnings: gojo yells at reader but doesn’t do anything otherwise, reader cries a bit, profanities, reader thinks gojo is going to get aggressive (he never would), angst at the start and fluff at the end!

a/n: first jjk drabble, cut me some slack pls 🧎‍♀️ —

he never got angry, he never let his frustrations out on others, he was always composed and energetic.

that’s how you would describe your boyfriend satoru gojo, he was cheerful and always lightened up your household in seconds the moment he entered it and when he left, it felt empty.

you knew how it is in the sorcerer world: hard, exhausting, draining, frustrating, and sometimes enjoyable. but satoru always pushed through how exhausted he felt and gave you a big smile when he got home.

but today, gojo would be too tired to keep up a cheerful front and was just exhausted. he was so drained from the countless missions he’s had this week he was bound to snap at one point.

you prayed he wouldn’t snap at you, though.

bustling around you and gojos shared kitchen, you made his favourite meal and desert, happily making it in hopes it’ll cheer up your tired lover.

you finished making his favourites and were about to call him to see when he’d be home when the front door opened, shutting with a click of a lock and the sound of gojos keys clanking as he threw them on a nearby surface.

“satoru! you’re home just in time.” your soft voice normally would’ve had satoru jumping off the walls but everything was off today. satoru hater how he was feeling.

he was irked at everything, he even snapped on nanami which left the blonde staring at the white haired man in shock as gojo stood up and walked away from the other sorcerer.

“yeah.” gojo lazily mumbled as he shoved past you, walking towards your fridge and getting himself a cup of water.

frowning, you ignored his actions and began talking about the meal you made as gojo added ice to his glass of water.

stop talking, just stop. gojo let out a quiet groan as you happily talked about your day. too bad he couldn’t reciprocate your energy, he was so angry at everything.

his lanky body moved towards your dining room table, flopping down on one of the chairs as he spread his legs to feel comfortable. placing the cup down, he held the bridge of his nose as you practically yelled to him about dinner from the kitchen.

you hadn’t noticed how aggravated he seemed with your voice and instead continued making a plate of food for him while telling him facts about your day and who you had seen while visiting jujustu tech, only to not find him there (he was on a mission, AGAIN).

“and so, i made your favourite! i know you really like this dish and these are your favourite sweets, so i bought some of those and…”

your voice was blaring in gojos head as you walked over to him, holding his plate in your hands with a smile on your face.

his eyes were worn out, sullen and dark as they stared at you from his hands.

he couldn’t handle this, he was going to snap.

“can you just fuck off already? just… shut up!” he growled, his words taking extra long for you to register as you began to stutter, small tears forming at your waterline as you blinked at gojo.

gojo looked up at you after noticing the silence, only to see you shaking. the plate of food in your hands looked as if it was about to tip over and create a mess on the floor. the plate of food YOU made just for HIM.

your boyfriends eyes widened as he watched you clumsily place his plate down infront of him and back away from his sitting form.

“i- um, im sorry, satoru. i’ll give you space.” you mumbled as you tried to hold in your emotions. your actions showed you felt fear, you were scared of him in this moment because he did not look like your satoru.

satorus eyes widened as he felt his heart drop. did he seriously just do that? why would he do that? why did he yell at you like that when all you were trying to do was be there for him and keep him filled with joy during tough times like these.

he watched you sway and shake as you walked away, his legs moving quicker than he expected as he hugged you from behind.

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m so sorry.” satoru whispered into your neck as his arms latched around your waist.

you froze, turning around and looking at your exhausted boyfriend clearly.

he looked so tired, so drained you almost didn’t recognize him. you scolded yourself internally for not noticing it sooner.

your heart softened at the sight of your first and last lover crumbling in your arms as he apologized profusely.

“shh, it’s okay ‘toru. i shouldn’t have been all over you when you needed space.”

“no, i should’ve let you. i need you more than ever.”

his voice shook as he spoke, looking up at you while scanning your face. you looked so gorgeous, so pretty for him today and he felt awful that he didn’t tell you that as soon as he stepped foot through the door.

“it’s okay, baby. i get it.” you smiled at him as he let a soft smile grow on his lips that were in a frown.

“lookin’ so stunning today, sweets. you’re amazing.” he grinned at you as you jokingly rolled your eyes.

“thank you, i know.” you teased him as he pulled you into a kiss, slow and lovingly before beginning to tell you about everything that happened with him this week.

you both sat at your dining room table as you occasionally fed satoru his food and added onto his words while he talked about missions, his students, and more.

you two loved eachother, and no matter how stressed out or drained you are; you made a deal to always be there for eachother, no hiding anything.

.ೃ࿐

please leave tips, requests, or anything of the sort! i’m open to any requests or suggestions 🤍 enjoy babes.

5K notes · View notes