#im studying fundamentals now..trying to get better

[hanabidreamin]

Sometimes I really be over complicating/over thinking shit when there are simpler ways i can go about something omg. Like I be trying to force myself to understand concepts all at once when there are simpler ways I can either study them in general or learn them gradually

[dreemurr-skelememer]

Hello :D

I have been following you for the last year or so (a few days after I got my Tumblr lmao) and I absolutely love your art!

I have been wanting to study your art style for a while but don't really know where to start,,,

Could you please show me a small portion of your art process, if it isn't too much trouble of course. Thank you and have a nice day!

hello. oh my god. this took forever to find.

im sorry it took 2 WHOLE FUCKING MONTHS for me to respond to this but i wanted to put it off until i felt happy with my art process again, so here it is

my fall 2024 rendering tutorial!

(this will be very very long)

FLATS AND WHATEVER YOU WANNA DO WITH LINES GIRL. then make sure to recolor the lineart to better match your base. trust me it helps, bold dark lines are Not your best friend when rendering. wait for that post-rendering

i start off with a doodle or a sketch, and then filling it in with flats and other details such as blush

FIGURE OUT YOUR LIGHT SOURCE. FIGURE IT OUT GIRL YOU CAN DO IT you can make it as simple as possible, make it as big as possible, dont even THINK about the details.........just make it really fucking big so you at least know where the shadows and the light goes THEN add smaller shading details LISTEN TO ME. LISTEN TO ME OKAY!!!!!!!!

my key point with this is for you to learn lighting fundamentals.

it's SOOO ANNOYING but alas......they are all correct. it helps a lot.

one thing i also really want to point out is that i like creating a big shadow shape first before fixing up the little details (such as folds and whatever) because it helps me focus on the way the lighting actually works instead of tunnel vision-ing into making the shading make sense on the clothing.

contact shadows (i dont remember if thats what theyre called okay) theyre fucking ugly because im not actually thinking sorry 💔

okay so basically:

contact shadows (if that's what they're called) are the spots in shading and lighting where light will NEVER hit.

shadows are still influenced by the colors and lights around it (it's why a blue shadow and a yellow shadow feel completely different, despite both being shadows) so it's not always COMPLETELY dark.

BUT! there are small points in shadows where light never hits, and they're almost always super dark or pitch black.

it's hard to explain shadow and light so briefly for a tutorial, but you'll notice it when watching fundamental studies and when trying it out for yourself

YES i unclipped the multiply layer YES its ugly and terrifying but it makes coloring the multiply layer easier okay the colors merged w multiply so now it looks cool and has depth overlaying colors that actually make sense

so basically what i did was color the multiply layer that i used to shade the overall drawing

adding a band of red/orange/yellow around where the light hits, and blue where the shadows get big and wide, gives it a fake ambient occlusion effect in the way that a person would get if they stood under the sun with a clear blue sky

the colors don't have to make sense, especially because i never draw backgrounds, but coloring the shadows really help it give a sense of depth and extra subtle detail and effect that just helps make the painting look nicer

around the end, i also put in colors (in an overlay layer with a low opacity brush) that actually make sense in context of the drawing, which is the lit cigarette and the yellow eyelights

mostly because none of the colors were making sense and i needed to actually make use of the lighting that DOES exist in the drawing lol

adding a muddy golden yellow pin light layer (opacity turned down to like 40-50%) to make the light colors less ugly lol

i SWEAR by the fucking pin light layer style. it's so useful and so so underrated.

i used an almost brown-ish gold color on stop of all the layers, and with the pin light layer, it helped make the bright (almost blue-ish) white colors more warm and more yellow. it just helps make things more warm (something i prefer)

i could probably show what it looks like without adjusting the layer opacity to truly show off what i mean (like in the coming section) but i sadly forgot to do that lol

make a layer on top of your drawing with this color in these ranges YES the drawing is fully merged NO don't be afraid, the base was fucking ugly anyway 💔 make this layer into an exclude/exclusion layer style TRUST turn down your exclusion layer opacity from a range of 10% to 40% literally until you're happy with the contrast and the way the color over the drawing. use your eyeballs. i know you can do it im so proud of you

this is pretty self-explanatory instruction-wise, so i'll go into why i do this instead

i really like art that seems like it has low contrast, with almost mid-gray shading and lines. i don't personally use dark and bold lines and shading, unless i find it necessary for the tone of the piece, so using this method helps lower the contrast of the art and make it look "pleasantly muddy" in the way that it's easier and softer on the eyes.

the inverted blue color also helps makes things warmer!

the exclusion layer style is still a bit of a mystery to me but i really like the effect it gives, even if i don't completely get how it works lol

if you want an alternative method to this, and if you have access to it (because i primarily use sai and sai only),

i absolutely encourage you to play around and experiment with gradient maps.

there are so many out there you can make yourself or even get from others that just give the painting an extra amount of depth and color variation. they're SO fun.

personally, if sai2 gets a gradient map update, it's over for y'all it will literally be so over no one will be able to stop me

then i merged everything and actually adjusted the contrast back up because it was looking too muddy for me 💔 but the color adjustments are still there so all hope is not lost here's a comparison of the adjusted contrast in black and white (adjusted on the left) (newly merged layer without adjusting the contrast on the right)

as you can see, i actually turned the contrast back up (despite talking all about how i liked things with less contrast lol)

i wanted to demonstrate that doing adjustments should be done in moderation, and is why i adjust layer opacity often when making color effects

you are free to play around with colors to help your style, but don't lose your initial idea and colors along the way.

you still need to trust your own colors and intuition!

along with that, i just want to say that it's completely okay to change your mind mid-painting, and it's okay to make somewhat drastic changes.

don't be afraid to change things you don't like or change your mind about certain aspects way later on

that's basically the whole thing of this!!! don't be scared!!!

now im gonna hold your hand when i say this..........but you need to learn how to render by yourself. it seems like i can teach you but i literally can't, because rendering is different on every piece and depending on how clean your base is. i have to render A LOT because of how fucking ugly my sketches are LMAO to simplify it, think of it as obsessively cleaning up every detail you can see, but with a color picker and a clean, hard edged brush. if you have shit lineart, you don't have to redraw it cleanly over and over, just paint over it. that's basically what rendering is

THIS especially is where you need to be brave and stop being scared.

like i said, i can't teach you how to render, and it's something you have to discover yourself because rendering is something that will always be personal to every single piece you make. the way you render on every piece is different.

on one piece, you will barely need to render, and on another, rendering is more than half of your ENTIRE process.

don't be afraid to paint over your old art.

rendering is a process that's both very perfectionist yet also very careless.

find your balance and just go for it.

and then that's it……..u did it………..now yuo know how to paint and render. it's literally just layering shading and lighting knowledge until you think it makes sense and looks okay lol additional note: since i render in only one layer (you don't HAVE to do this, but it'll be harder for you…), i also made slight adjustments with the transform (and liquify, if you have it) tool to make things more proportionate. (i drew the head too big lol)

if you compare the finished piece to the final unrendered base, you can see that a LOT changed, including a bit of subtle proportion adjustment.

particularly, the sleeves changed A LOT (because i really didn't like them)

but it's also over all cleaner and more coherent, instead of having haphazard colors and shading just thrown about.

rendering is when you finally use all 100% of your brain to finalize and figure out where the shading should go, where to clean up your lines, where to ERASE or ADD BACK in lines, and make sure all your colors look coherent.

it's not as intimidating as it seems, i only use a hard edged brush with a little bit of color mixing and my color picker.

it's like dragging and dropping colors to cover up mistakes, it's really quite fun when you get used to it

i wish i could explain it clearer but it's hard to describe without visuals!

i hope this helped, and i hope all my yapping isn't annoying (art as a special interest beloved)

have fun studying and trying to render in my art style!

[yuzepi]

Magnus archives kind of driving me crazy lately especially since I’ve been learning art fundamentals and spending like 6+ hours a day on art most of the things I draw are in some ways studies or me trying to apply what I learn and the brainworms are so real like. woah. genuine creative brainwave im riding rn like why am I starting to draw backgrounds now. This is crazy

having so much fun designing everyone too it’s so fun my perfect sweet spot for like semirealism + anime bs + plenty of creative freedom to do whatever I want. So invigorated lately

I hope everyone knows this has also been like sort of a slow process too… once I really get into a hyperfixation the floodgates open but ive been on tma for 3 months but only really started to draw it regularly 2 weeks ago and im on mag 108 now.. not a terrible pace i guess

and that being said…. Woah all the support on my fanworks absolutely blows me away and I do love reading the tags on everything. genuinely so sweet I screenshot so many and kyaa over them. I’ve been trying to post stuff on tumblr more regularly because certain other website I use… is better left dead…. whatever. just getting my thoughts out there tonight im feeling very chatty

[givemedamage]

i dont really ramble slash just post my thoughts that much anymore bc im like an on edge bitch plus ive gotten ten times more incoherent off my meds and i dont wanna subject anyone to that except for in tags on art posting maybe sometimes ill be like BARRRRFFF WORDS but i wanna do it now bc. i just want to On that note like i definitely have posted dipshit dumbass stuff like oversharing stuff or stuff i no longer agree with or wish i worded better or didnt speak so soon on like i have a journal if i really need to tell the universe i just took a shit but ANYWAYTHATS NOT EVEN THE POINT OF THIS RAMBLE WAIT THIS WAS ART RELATED RAMBLING ok so like i've been trying to quote unquote relearn art for a hot minute cold second now and sometimes, ill think of that one ask i got that was like 'how do you draw furries' or How do you draw anthros or IT WAS SOMETHING LIKE THAT and i cant remember what exactly i replied ,GIVEN THAT IS A VERY VAGUE QUESTION BUT LIKE i definitely replied something strange and unhelpful like 'ufhhh just practice :D !!!!! find fun ways to furrify the furry idk' AND LIKE IF THAT WAS YOU IM SO SORRY i feel like there's so much stuff i didn't AND STILL DON'T OBVIOUSLY know even though ive been doing furry art since babyhood like how important fundamental whatever is WHICH I KNOW SOUNDS DUMB LIKE OBVIOUSLY FUNDAMENTALS ARE IMPORTANT but like. learning perspective and actual shading not just guessing and using people pose and animals pose references and doing figure studies and outside places studies has HELPED ME SO MUCH LIKE WOW WHAT THE FUCK there's just little things i never learned in art class. little things i'll notice like 'huh foot (paw?) placement is actually rlly awesome and also important drawing a character standing' or like 'so that's what a trapezius is' or like 'ohhh i get it now, things are scaled bigger when they're closer and i should be thinking about the pov also' which like the last time i was in an art class i was literally a FRESHMAN IN HS so like. like yeah But how to draw furries individual , i apologize but if i was asked that again id probably be like ''References and youtube tutorial and especially that animal skull github angle reference website saved my hide'' WHICH ISNT REALLY THAT BETTER OF A RESPONSE NOW THAT IM LOOKING AT IT BUT LIKE I COULDVE more concisely said (ironic sonsidering how fucking long this spiel is becoming)that i don't know what the fuck im doing but i love resources and i love pencils and skecthing and i love wawa color and painting and digitaling arting and i love my fake world and artists i love you and artists who struggle making art they want i love you and artists who want to do art but are nervous to start or are preoccupied with other shit i love you . i know stuffs really hard out here for everyone and excuse me for being so unspecific about it but it seems like everyday it's just another thing it's honestly getting hard to keep up with much less sum up my frustrations towards in a single already tragically rambly post and i hate it so much and stay safe and i'm sorry do not die quietly plus never kill yourself. Tl,dr; i run on sentence about how art is good and fun, (somewhat gushily and long windedly )

[windupaidoneus]

yuri hildemet. elaborate for the class please :microphone:

AUUHGHHHHHHH (clutches my skull evilly) THE YURI HILDEMET DEMONS ARE TAKING OVER Hi its me the better thistle who is here to speak to you about yuri hildemet

can only occur in a non ffxiv au because ancient society's grip on emet i believe would forever prevent him from putting too much effort or thought at all into that kind of thing. THIS MAKES THISTLE VERY SAD. (not applicable to role reversal aus because there i am dealing with a hades shard which is fundamentally different. role reversal lachades can be yuri if you believe.) but it's fine i guess i like him gay man too

most notably what i have thought of was a like. modern, young adult setting. i wish i could say childhood friends without it feeling like i'm relying on Tropes but also Tropes are Fine people just get really weird about Tropes see i must free myself from The Public Opinion. oh also they reconnected in college so emet was not there for the transition

i have apparently just decided they are also part of fanfuffle U1 what the hell sure

naturally hancock is also there but this isn't about him right now. i'll get back to this

hyth is also there as a friend because the world will explode if hyth & emet are never in the same room but also hes my friend he has to be here.

hildegarde is ON that transition shit. works out gender in teen years, quietly transitions, goes on T for a little bit but not too long. mostly trains his voice to be able to hit a lower register easier. kinda on that butch mechanic shit if im so honest

emet is like. solidly repressed for MANY MANY MANY YEARS. any thoughts getting close to a Realisation are quickly ushered away because they are Frivolous, they are a Distraction, actually trying to do anything about it & exploring those thoughts would take a lot of effort & time he simply cannot be sinking into something like that when he has Important Stuff to do, like Work, and Studying,

this of course leads to him being a more & more miserable person. especially looking at his peers. well most notably hyth who is his friend who is also like. not necessarily the MOST out & proud el gibbity there is but he does have like a boyfriend & is happy & all that yadda yadda. Emet Is So Bitter

they reconnect by meeting at the college library by pure happenstance (would not have crossed paths before then because they just. do not have any overlapping classes AT ALL. their majors are completely unrelated. hilde is (projection beam) a theatre major & of course emet isnt majoring in something that actually makes him happy hes like in finances or some stupid shit like that). emet gets slammed with a very strong Hooly Shit because hildegarde is no longer a cis girl & is also extremely attractive.

ok i said by pure happenstance but it'd be more accurate to say hilde was there bc of hancock, who is majoring in the same fucking shit emet is, so they would logically study the same stuff. & hancock is bigender. this is not relevant im just saying he can do both lame ass boyfriend & lame ass girlfriend. anyway not about him

emet & hancock are familiar with each other but emet finds hancock very vexing for being... the way he is... & kinda just goes. h. You're friends. with HIM? to hilde & hilde's like yeahhh hes nice :). ANYWAY NOT ABOUT HIM

yeah emet is fucking cooked & also seeing someone so happy after transition fucks him up More

they dont get together proper until emet acknowledges the elephant in the room (gender).

like they get REALLY close & basically end up acting & living like a couple but at the same time emet kinda buries himself deeper & deeper into IM CIS IM CIS IM CIS & grows more & more miserable. until one day hilde nonchalantly asks if he can style him for the day bc he had a "genius idea"

emet, already in hell, just goes yeah whatever. sure. go ahead.

& its like. subtle yknow. not putting him in a pink frilly skirt or anything, just accessorising with jewelry, putting him in a turtleneck that fits him better than "yeah this size'll do", just. dressing him in a way that is Fashionable beyond being functional & business casual pretty much.

& hildegarde, in his wisdom, drops a line to the effect of "tbh if a woman who looked like that was mean to me itd work on me"

well it worked on emet too.

the breaking point & also the Ohhh things can get better i see now point. & hilde was really nicey when emet cried despite emet shoving him away! very very vulnerable moment for emet he was not doing so good for the first 30 minutes after that

after he calmed down it was very much a "never speak of this to anyone" moment

emet tentatively uses he/she pronouns in private afterwards so. basically just with hilde.

& fucking hancock when hancock finds out bc well he has reason to hang out with BOTH of them so he just has a spare of hildes keys & walks in on them getting up to some sort of shit (not necessarily sexual to be clear. in fact probably not sexual) at least once LMFAO

emet isnt necessarily the most fem person in the world her fashion kinda just becomes actually fashionable after that point. eventually she queens out of course but it takes some time

um. let me know if you want more information but this is basically the gist of it yeah. yuriouse

[chiarrara]

4, 9, 14 WIP ask game!!!

I'm literally so obsessed w you, thanks for the ask babesss 🥰 WIP Ask Game

4. WIP that is secretly rotting my brain

it's megumi fucking his sister. this has taken over my mind and body i am feverish. and it is truly secretly rotting my brain despite how much I've been talking about it the last couple days because.... well i am full of sexy sexy shame, i don't think y'all really know the extent of it, and without a LOT of abstraction I'm not telling you. so I think that's all I can say about that!

9. WIP I started because canon is driving me crazy / 14. WIP that is fueled with spite

lmaoooo okay so im combining these bc this is a rabbit hole. back when i was reading the manga I started getting sooooo fed up with the worldbuilding and the power system (because it makes no sense, I have a whole rant about this) and I started trying to make it all make sense in my own mind, like rebuild the power system and then also change some things that pissed me off about jujutsu society, and then ALSO, kind of do a fix-it for gojo and geto that truly hit a brick wall (after I tried studying deradicalization techniques). the crazy part is it all started out as a low stakes chat fic, that I was gonna write bc some of my mutuals were talking about how inumaki would text. but now I have truuuly miles of notes trying to construct this world, and a three volume fic world spanning from jjk 0, to canon but with a different history, to adult itafushikugi (platonic) that I'm probably never gonna write. Highlights:

absolutely ragging on the magic system and trying to apply math to it bc if gege can pretend to do that I can do it better (<- insane) BONUS:

getting way into the weeds about Black Flash

psychoanalyzing all my favorite characters, criticizing their decision-making and beating the shit out of jujutsu society & regulations

this is the one thing i fundamentally don't understand about gojo's character, like all the rest of it got worked out by the end but i still can't reconcile this...

ANYWAY if you ever want to talk to me about any of these insane ramblings I have so many thoughts, and I no longer think you can really "fix" satosugu without fundamentally breaking a part of the story or of one or both of their characters, but it still would be fun to explore. It's my second fic with someone chained up in a dungeon, so that's interesting (though technically it came first).

Also I'd love to talk about Part 3 which has almost nothing to do with all of this but Yuuji, Nobara, and Megumi have a training school they opened up as adults, it's really cute and I DO have OCs ��️

[kohakhearts]

when people first meet me and inquire about my studies im generally hit with two different responses, being 1) “wow, that’s an unusual combination”/“you don’t see that often”/etc. and 2) “you must be SO smart!” (or its evil twin, “you must hate yourself ha-ha”), and while the first is obviously a better response than the second, both are kinda…awkward to react to.

like? IS it an unusual combination of interests, or is it actually that most institutions make it exceptionally difficult for people to pursue stem and arts concurrently? and that we don’t often talk about the heavy crossover between stem and the arts because we’re so culturally obsessed with this notion that the world is split into Art People and Science People (also known as English People and Math People)?

and how would my interest in a science make me any smarter than someone in my program who chose to pursue a minor in history instead of physics? also, NO, i don’t hate myself. obviously taking stem classes after spending years believing im “not a math person” has lowered my gpa, but that’s not really something i care about, because at the end of the day i find the subject endlessly fascinating and i enjoy my classes very much, and i get better at math every semester because i have no choice. because it’s just…a method of communication. it’s a language. you practice, you improve - but you have to be consistent and intentional about it. the same way you have to be consistent and intentional about analyzing fictional texts and historical documents.

which is to say that like. you are using the same skills. i tutored a high school student last year who looked at me like i was crazy for saying that close reading a short story is functionally the same as solving an algebra problem. you collect like terms. then you compare and contrast them to make a statement about them - it’s human nature to seek refuge in what is familiar even if it is simultaneously traumatic, or x = 2 and y = -2. you can chart it, you can graph it, you can draw it. listen, isn’t there something so inherently beautiful about the word integral? it’s something intrinsic, baked into a person or a thing - the fundamental values formed within you by tiny, infinitesimal pieces: moments, experiences - they coalesce into something completely different, but still. you can go back. you can find the pieces. define them, pick them apart, put them together again in new ways. expand them, contract them, equate them to something else just to understand them.

half the study of mathematics is called analysis, for god’s sake. what is the study of art if not analysis? is it not the goal of the artist, the writer, to make sense of our place in the world? and is this not what we do in physics, too? look at the world and try to find reason in it? as the poet spends their life trying to make the intangible tangible, the particle physicist attempts to study dark matter. when we form a sentence, we utilize a complex system of equations that are so second-nature to us we don’t even register that’s what we’re doing - but there’s a reason this branch of linguistics is called syntactic calculus.

like…believe me. if you told my teenage self i’d be taking calculus-based courses in university, i wouldn’t have believed it. i teach high school students now who tell me they know they aren’t good at english, but it doesn’t matter to them because they do so well in math. and i get it. i do. but it’s disappointing, too, because i think my knowledge of math has made me a better reader and writer. and it feels like most people are missing out on that connection, because they feel like it’s impossible to make. but any experimentalist can tell you there’s an art to the scientific process. any musician or poet can tell you that great art is dictated by numbers - rhythm, rhyme and metre, all of it. the only group of people as interested in conceptual symmetry as physicists are artists.

anyway, all i’m saying is like - one is not more essential than the other, these things are inextricably linked, these things are as fundamental to human existence as breathing. there’s a reason why astronomers defer to shakespeare to name newly discovered bodies in space, you know? we've all gotta learn to love the math in our art and the artistry behind math.

[vthylene]

Art rant

im trying really hard to get better at art. Ive drawn every week for 7 hours. Ive been challenging myself by going out of my comfort zone and doing art challenges. I dont feel as if Ive improved at all. Nowadays, i dont even draw because i dont think anything ill do will live up to the quality that I want it to be. I watch youtube videos and they tell me to study the basics/ fundamentals. I've bought online courses for hundreds of dollars. Even when I complete the videos and follow along with the teacher, I still dont feel as if im making progress. Ive also gone on z-lib and bought art books. (I have a hard drive of 50GB of art material ranging from recorded lectures and art books from anyone you could imagine). No matter how much media I consume to get improve, my skills still feel like they are stagnant. I really want an art mentor with that can help with anime art.

Whenever I look at artists on here, twitter, and even some of my friends. I get so insanely jealous at how good their art is and how amazing they are. Im really trying to catch up to them. Im trying so hard.

When i was a kid I dreamed of making a calarts sketchbook and attending their school. i really did want to be an artist so bad. My parents praise my art alot and propose ways I could incorporate my major with art. but thinking of doing art as a career now just feels so unnerving.

maybe im tired and just need to take a nap.

[oh-cramity-its-amity]

okok

im gonna get booed off the stage and get tomatoes thrown at me for this one...

i like to think about how during the years pre timeskip, but after the titan's magic leaving the isles, luz falls into a state of a depression.

not in the way thats in s3 exactly in a state where she's back where she started when the show began. a sense of grief at acceptance of loss.

she learned and taught herself magic just to lose it and start back at square one.

the only difference is now everyone who used to call her crazy or not a witch now agrees she is in fact one. they acknowledge her as a witch, after all she saved the isles. but she doesn't feel that way. not inside.

she even picks up the phrase "half-a-witch" and uses it in passing about herself. as a full circle moment with amity. which- yeah. upsets the FUCK out of her because aint no fricken way is she any less of a witch.

so amity calls up lilith and in that span of time she (amity) grows into this state of determination. an insatiable need to just figure out a way to help luz do magic again. calling upon king, trying to decipher his glyph language and struggling so hard (it literally takes four... FOUR years) to get where he is in timeskip.

i like to think too of luz going to talk to eda about losing her magic because i feel as if she can understand the struggle of losing her identity as a witch like that. how eda paired with the grief of her chronic illness and came to terms with never being able to do magic the way she used to. they would understand the feelings even if different situations and forms of it. and eda would be the one to call amity first about it. luz would go to eda about it before anyone else, and theyd talk for hours after school. eda would call amity because i dont think luz would feel up to exploring those feelings in the way amity sees her. eda understands what its like to lose something so big as her powers - something so fundamental for witch's identities, but amity would above all else want to figure out how luz could do magic.

like i can just see the progress of luz processing this grief after losing the titan and struggling with her identity as a witch even as it comes full circle when everyone believes and sees her as one. the isles rebuilding itself and growing to have the day of unity as a reflection and day of remembrance for the first few years. an act of mourning and acknowledging the past but feeling grateful for the promise of better.

of course darius leads the rebuilding of the isles. hell- i think hunter reads darius' book too and they both write a book about the study of wild magic together (with the solem help of luz) since we see hunter being interested in it when helping emperor belos.

but as to teach others that wild magic is not evil even despite the coven heads that wanted to rebel against that freedom.

its more so darius writing and hunter infodumping and giving him all the knowledge he knows + finding out from lilith and amity though but i really think about all of that. a state in which luz falls into that depression.

i might’ve mentioned this before too um but HEY im still thinking about this concept.

anyone else ever think about hunter and vee hating and feeling uncomfortable about their birthdays or is it just me.

...like the both of them refusing to announce or talk about them because of why they were created in the beginning and feeling guilt or distain over it. or not even KNOWING the exact day but having a rough estimate being told to them.

[f1obios]

another sketchdump

[cedar-glade]

What I am up to rn. I am currently doing studying for applicator exam. and treating ash trees for both anthracnose fungus and borer.

Right now im currently doing a bit more fundamental training on application.

Here Is an example of what I am doing at work right now as I actively work on my applicator license. A calculator, a sounding mallet with two different rubber heads of various density,  and dbh tape as well as a drill can be seen. Many different systemics are used for ash tree treatments but treeage as an EC emulsifiable concentrate pressure injectable. EC just means that they are not water soluble liquids, instead they are oil soluble compounds after an emulcifiable agent is added. Instead of beading they became liquid ‘solution’. EC are usually better environmentally, because if a spill does occur they do not readily move with water or penetrate with water and begin breaking down more easily. treeage, by label, is recommended for 2 year usage. so It is 100% active for 2 years. the dye is UV black light notable, meaning even after washing hands and ppe you can see residuals under black light if they are still present.

the label goes by dbh, 4 feet from grade diameter at breast height,  the label also has notes to not mix with water as they do not mix. .5 ml per inch DBH is the measure for usage. Injection wound are to be made deep to get as much transduction as possible through functioning protoplasm not just active xylem and phloem. but require the wound to be made through active phloem and xylem; this is why a sounding mallet is necessary for making the hole. dense acoustic resonance allows us to select and decent relatively intact section of the tree minimally undamaged by the borer over each year; dense solid sounds are critical. Hammering the inlet iv insert till it doesn’t move means you have a good seal for pressure to work. Veritassium has a good youtube video on atm pressures in trees that can help shed light on why pressurized systems are critical for ensuring uptake. Once canisters are pressurized we can use the system. Trees in areas where beneficial insects are present and outside of general sterile landscapes that show signs of resistance shouldn’t be injected unless ethically the tree is critical for spring formation or its a state or nat champ.

Understanding that environment, stress, and host and pathogen activity are critical for pathogens to need treatment is the only ethical reason to pursue treatments. With out all three being present we don’t have an issue necessarily unless the invasive species works under time constraints and alters other corners in their favor(most do) . Evolution is a counter but rarely happens faster than the problem can work to do damage. Larval movement occurs fast! the timing to treat to prevent the most damage starts with leafing out but also pathogen movement. Degree days is usually how most people know when to treat. However climate change can be very problematic in many cases. Ag extensions are there to help ! For Ash trees in my region we start at the beginning of the black locust blooms which shares phonological overlap and try to provide services until after june. so usually mid may- june.

This year saw a wet spring too. which means early anthracnose appearance which forced us to do more propizol injections before ash borer treatments unfortunately.

I currently use a psi by hard wood fjet series arbor jet system. A bucket is also great for containment of spills if a treeage container leaks I have a bucket.

Though the label may not say it, I use nitrile gloves as ppe because fuck insecticides.

[appaeve]

Hii, I'm absolutely enamoured of your art! The style is so neat and expressive, the colours a delight and overall aaah, you're amazing, looking forward to see your future works :D

I have this question (I hope it doesn't bother you, feel free to ignore in case), have you attended any art school/academy or are you self taught? Because I'd love to learn how to draw, and I know that practice is the key, but I feel so lost thinking about what I should practice exactly. I think that a course would help, but at the same time I think it wouldn't since art is mostly yours to develop and vibe with yanno. Hope you're having a nice (insert moment of the day here)!

hi! first, thank you sm! I know it doesn’t seem like much but compliments regarding the funky way I draw make my day :). And for the second thing- nope! I attended public school that had a basic art class that you drew maybe a still life in and moved on in 8 weeks to do other extracurriculars like gym. Later on I did get the chance to learn some digital/photoshop stuff and paints for more serious courses but yea! mostly self taught :)

Next bit is LONG so we’re breaking it up:

aaaa ok so now when I heard of the “I’d love to learn how to draw, but I feel lost” I resonated with that BIG time. “Starting art” or in your case stating how you wanted to learn how to draw is a personal process that i wholly believe will be different for everyone. For me I started by drawing on rocks I found in the backyard as a kid and grew from there. To jump into drawing (for my personal method!) draw what your interested in or what you enjoy, and then mix that with some studies. Maybe an OC one day, and the next you’ll practice hands/ something from life you don’t really wanna draw. But! by doing this you build skills and grow- then when you redraw that OC maybe their anatomy is better or you drew a nice background with it. Once you learn the basics of some elements of art then you can stylize them!

“Well what do I study?” Anatomy, color theory, composition tricks, fundamentals of art, etc. are all pretty broad things to focus on! I would try to divy it up, maybe you practice shoes, or plant studies one day instead of the whole human figure and a forest painting. Keep it simple and fun, you’re learning and sketches aren’t meant to be perfect! There’s no “order” on what you should study first. As for taking courses vs going with flow with art/more self taught, I would say that if you have the opportunity to learn from masters- take it take it take it. I would never consider learning or taking inspiration from artists cheating. Of course I wouldn’t recommend copying an artists work (and CERTAINLY not positing it online) but maybe as a study draw a work that is based from them/their style and learn from it. I look at the way I draw noses for certain characters and they remind me of they way “x” person drew them, yeah? bits and pieces of inspiration and other artists work helped me create my own art that is personal to me :).

WHOOO okay finally last thing- going back to the no “order” bit. Establish goals! lets say you wanna draw characters first, then I would recommend looking up videos of drawing body types or tutorials online. Maybe clothes next, or you wanna learn to draw trees and do a whole week on that. Some people practice everyday, others do it like once a week- and that’s ok! Art shouldn’t be super stressful methinks. If you think taking an art course is good for your artistic journey, then do it. If you think practicing everyday but more self-taught (still use references, im the biggest hypocrite when it comes to this but they’re so so important), then do it! Yeah I might be throwing in what I personally do as an artist (but I’m still VERY much learning too!) however it is your choice to decide what path is best for you as a creator. Hopefully some of this helped! it seemed like a very genuine ask that I appreciated and wanted to give my input to the best of my ability :)

[gwemmieee]

IME most trans people are also aware of all of this, and the only time we're saying "I identify as this and it's as simple as that so nyeh" is when we're dealing with bad faith assholes, who either don't listen to a longer explanation, or look for more holes to poke and ammo to gaslight with. So the first paragraph kind of annoys me 😅 Religion and spirituality don't have to be organized, infallible, or strict, or any specific thing, but they are very crucial components to how we navigate through such a cruel and random and impersonal world with our ability to be happy and hopeful intact.

Performance theory is a huge part of how I figured out I was trans, after a few years of unconscious social transition followed by several years of unconscious detransition. It was the missing piece. I needed it so badly that I came up with it almost entirely by myself, using only bits and pieces of occasional queer ramblings from a couple people I'd talked to and a lot of YouTube videos (that's how isolated I was from queer culture and femininity at the time). Once I understood performance theory on some level, I knew exactly what I had been doing, and how to own it and improve my life with it. And that was when I knew it made the most sense to Just Tell People That I'm A Girl. And to move somewhere better for girls.

But... faith and religion are also a huge part of how I'm getting along. A lot of identifying as queer is a religion. A lot of identifying as the class of Woman is a religion. There is a shared faith in how things work, in how we operate, in what that means and what our goals should be. There's a shared sense of community, of similar struggles and similar solutions to those struggles. There's a shared fundamental incompatibility with the ways the status quo operates as of now. There's a lot of value in all of these areas. We shouldn't be dismissing one for the other. Empiricism and religion are both important.

And a lot of this is stuff that we do truly know as fact, and oftentimes it's even been empirically proven, but everyday life requires simpler modes of thought and communication between two people of different worlds than "here's a dozen studies laying out a few core pieces of why I'm right about myself." We need to be respected BEFORE the empiric evidence is accepted by the wider world. Most of them aren't even going to try to look at all that evidence until they respect us FIRST. And... your own feelings about yourself shouldn't need such rigor to be accepted, either. We all deserve to be seen and loved before we're proven, even to ourselves.

Most of the ways in which we are overtly repressed by explicit policy or universal cultural practice completely mirrors the ways that Christian nationalists practice Islamophobia or anti-Semitism. We could literally establish these things as religions and get a lot more power out of existing systems that promote religious freedom.

I don't like the "identity" theory of gender, not just because it feels like the way it's generally understood feels like a misunderstanding of "Identity"

But because if gender is unobservable, then it's just metaphysics. And I don't fuck with religion. I don't want to enforce a new one as a social standard, I want religion to die. I wanna see a focus on intellectual integrity and empirical thought.

Performance theory is more concrete by contrast, because it can be questioned and interrogated. It's probably not as comforting as the weight of being able to say, "because I said so," and considering the state of queer discourse's mainstream right now... I feel it. But to me, that's just more reason to push for it.

Because-

Our personal feelings and view of ourselves and place in the world affect and determine how we present to others, and in a positive feedback loop; our presentation affects how people see and feel about us, influencing how they treat us, influencing the way we view and feel about ourselves. Ad infinitum

Performance or Identity theory, this is true. And because we all know this is true, I think a lot of transphobia- besides just being repackaged racism/featurism- is borne from an attempt to wrest control over what identities are considered shameful. Namely, obviously, ensuring the gendered portion of the social hierarchy remains intact.

A "guy" who everyone treats like "a girl," is supposed to be a negative thing. A source of shame, ridicule, and abuse. But if that "guy" says, "fuck it, what if I am a girl;" or more accurately, 'their internal perspective of themselves maps onto that of what traits we call "girly" more than they do "manly?" then the world suddenly lacks coherence. Likewise the inverse, but I realized I focus a little hard on trans masculine experiences here, so I want to be less heavy handed.

If the social position Woman, is no longer lesser; so much so, that a Man would become one. Then the gender/Patriarchy structure... Kind of collapses under its own weight. If these positions are no longer intrinsic, then it collapses seven fold. So the natural response, for anyone who either personally benefits form the structure, or at least feels threatened by the unknown social territory they've suddenly found themself in, is to say- "Wait, you can't do that!?" Like the schoolyard twat they are.

The fact that one's personal identity on this level is formed so early in one's development only exacerbates how ridiculous the petty cruelty of transphobia is. Someone who was assigned a gender in lipservice alone, based on the assumptions of a 30second once over, merely a minute after being born, is assailed with experiences that cause their psyche to form in opposition to it, is begrudged for wanting to escape harassment on the basis of them being the person that their environment's effects on their biology literally carved them into. Just because it differs from the assumptions and expectations that others have of the individual, but clearly haven't adequately impressed upon that human in such a way to make them stick.

Begrudged for wanting to perform their gender in a way closer to how they've been treated, because the people around them can't handle that this individual grew into a being based on how they experienced the world, instead of based on a vague and cruel idea of what a person should be.

I like Performance theory better than Identity theory, because gender is a thing you do, because social interactions are a thing you do. They are observable and dissect able. They can be checked, based on the way we use the concept of gender to communicate within a given culture. Because with performance theory, unless you count someone's physical body as part of a performance, someone with a beard and a frilly skirt on is probably a girl/fem-coding themselves.

Granted, I take issue with the concept of the genders boy/girl/(gender period) overall. So what do I know

[phoebosacerales]

hello! im always looking with respect at traditional astrologers, and the art feels super refreshing after years of thinking the only astrology there is is the popular stuff. im kind of interested in learning? but im also kind of unsure about how deterministic the aspects of it are?

one thing i enjoy about modern astrology is the ability to look at difficult houses and see the possibility of transformation within them. my 12th house north node and part of fortune are not things i consider curses. im overall hella fascinated by humans ability to evolve and heal. (though thats SO fucking rare even who people who try to. i know potential doesnt equal result) im thinking that traditional astrology might be the way it is because at the time people just truly had no way to become better in any way. if someone now is born poor they can work on my relationship with finances and eventually create a beautiful stable life for themselves, they can heal the relationship wounds caused by abusive families etc etc

what do you think? is it worth learning about traditional astrology if im going to have this type of approach?

Not all traditional astrologers are super deterministic. If you go to the medieval astrologers you'll see they were also dealing with magic, so they're examples of traditional astrologers who definitely weren't fully deterministic as well. I don't like determimism either and I've talked a little about this here. I'm more on a middle ground. A lot of the ancient hellenistic astrologers were stoics and believed in a very closed kind of fate, so they thought every little thing could be predicted, but this is not an inherent characteristic of the art, it was their own beliefs projected on it. Studying someone's techniques doesn't really require you to subscribe to their beliefs. A level of predictability also doesn't imply hard determinism. Otherwise all of us would be that, after all modern astrologers are also predicting by looking at the birth chart and telling what a person's life has been like.

Some idea of fate is still there in modern astrology even if the content on the internet will try to tell you it isn't, I believe some modern astrologers have too many contradictory beliefs because of this. And of course, it actually gets even more difficult to sell astrology and keep a following if you're going to tell people some disappointing stuff, so obviously modern evolutionary astrology is popular also because it's so "optimistic". And even if not done in bad faith, they're selling the idea that their service will be fundamental for you to get out of a bad situation, and that's a little scammy.

I don't believe your 12th house north node and part of fortune are curses either.* I myself have a 12th house Moon and north node, which is actually an eclipse, I have 5 out of 7 planets in bad houses that don't see the Asc, 2 of them also combust, everything in squares. The other 2 are Saturn, my malefic out of sect and Jupiter in fall in a cadent house ruling my finances. But still, considering the family I was born in, I'm in a very good situation compared to all of them. Despite difficulties, I'm one of the less than 1% of the brazillian population that is attending a public University (which is extremely competitive to get into, and they have the highest demand because of their quality), I have a high chance of actually finishing it and not dropping out. And that poor eclipsed Moon in the 12th with a malefic fixed star and the north node is the one ruling my 9th house and holding this up for me. I've seriously never seen an uggliest chart than mine, so I could never be the kind of astrologer who looks at a 12th house planet and already imagines the worse case scenario. And I've actually seen charts that looked kinda okay, but they were charts of people with very troubling lives.

I don't agree that today in general people have more oportunities to get out of poverty, because meritocracy is a monstrous lie. Life is difficult, some lives are more difficult than others and some people have more of a feeling of control than others. And there's an issue if you're telling everyone that they can do anything they put their mind to, when context actually makes things impossible, if that's just wishful thinking and simply not true. This does put pressure and blame on people to tell them that if they haven't achieved something that's because they didn't do enough "work". Some things you can't change, sometimes there isn't even enough time to understand and try to change things, so all you can offer is an ear. But I do also have an issue with the deterministic idea that tells people there's no way around things, that they should accept things the way that they are because that's the destiny their soul chose or whatever.

But the point is that you will fry your brain over the issue of fate vs free will forever and no type of astrology you study will give you an answer. This is an ages old dilemma in philosophy and any astrologer who tells you they found the answer by themselves through astrology is just mistaken and probably being a little arrogant.

*Just an observation: the nodes aren't really all that important in "western" astrology, much less their house placement. Modern astrology puts a lot of importance on them after appropriating from Vedic and the way this is done is really not good.

[fuzzy-melonlord]

Okay so im doing a new “series” of different ways to say “I Love You”. It’s more of a challenge for myself because I know I struggle with writing just pure fluff. So we gonna work to get better! Starting off with the character i struggle the most to write as well lol

Pairing: Gavin/Freelancer WC: 927 Genre: Fluff

Before them, Gavin was content to be alone. He had come to terms with it when he decided that he was going to be the person he wanted to be, even if that meant being ridiculed by his fellow Incubi. He never planned on getting this close to someone, much less a human. Someone so fragile and yet so willing to put their own life in harm’s way. Honestly, if he could have a heart attack then he was sure that his beloved Deviant would have given him one on multiple different occasions. Yet because it was them, because it was the first person who truly saw him as just…Gavin, well he was okay with the stress of their recklessness. 

That thought didn’t stop his worrying entirely though. Especially not as he watched them practically passing out at their coffee table. 

It was nearing finals week and they had been up late almost every night, while their days were packed to the brim with classes. Since they apparently didn’t know the concept of pacing when it comes to their work. He’s seen them chastise and advise all of their friends and yet they could never take their own advice. 

Gavin let out a soft, almost silent, sigh as he watched their head slam down onto the book that was laid out in front of them. The impact wakes them up almost instantly, their head snapping back up trying to rub the sleep out of their eyes. Unaware of their boyfriend’s watchful gaze. He was honestly surprised that Caelum hadn’t shown up yet, usually if the Freelancer was forcing theirself awake like this then the young Empathy Daemon was first on the scene. Tonight though, he was surprisingly missing. Gavin wondered if it was because he felt that Gavin had arrived, and knew that he could handle it. He was getting busier with a few of his other charges as well, getting more accustomed to them being unable to see him. Gavin hated thinking about it, but it was only a matter of time before the Chorus revoked Freelancer’s ability to see him. He wasn’t looking forward to that day. 

“You’re overworking yourself, Deviant.” 

The sound of his voice caused the Freelancer to jump slightly, apparently having forgotten that they weren’t alone in their home. They let out a long sigh before turning to face their boyfriend, a half hearted and obviously exhausted grin on their face. 

“I’m fine, Gav. I need to study for my fundamentals of sonal magic class. There are a few things that just aren’t sticking…and the exam is tomorrow.” They try and justify their actions, but know from the look on Gavin’s face that he isn’t going to leave them to study in peace. 

Pacing over, he sits down next to them and reaches out to take one of their hands in his own. His fingers lacing with their own, giving a soft comforting squeeze. 

“You are a brilliant student,” He begins, his eyes staring holes into their textbook, “and I know how important these exams are, but please take a break. You’re going to work yourself sick.” 

The Freelancer lets out a rather dramatic sigh, dropping their head onto his shoulder. He can see out of the corner of his eye that they are in fact pouting now. He had mentioned it to them before, but whenever they pout he gets an almost insatiable urge to kiss them. Though, he could see them doing just about anything and get the same urge. It wasn’t even an addiction to them, he was just…so hopelessly in love. If he wasn’t so happy with them he would probably call himself a sap. 

“I know, but I’ve gotta pass this class-”

“And the best way to ensure that you pass, is to get a good nights sleep before the exam,” He explained, cutting off the rant that he was sure they had lined up, “if you stay awake all night, you’ll be exhausted during your exams. In fact, you might end up so tired you fall asleep and just…don’t finish.”

The thought hadn’t seemed to occur to the Freelancer before Gavin said it, he could tell by the way they tensed that they were processing the very real possibility of this happening. It brought a small chuckle from his lips as he felt them processing this in real time. Their emotions swirling around the air, the conflict, the concern, and just a hint of love. He loved feeling their love for him, having it confirmed even without words. 

“I…I guess you’re right. I should probably go to bed.” They muttered, adjusting theirself so that their body was practically curling into his side, “I can do some last minute studying tomorrow before I head out.” 

Gavin wasn’t going to say it, but he had very little intention of letting that happen. He knew that they would study theirself to death if they could. So he would be the good boyfriend and distract them with sweet kisses and a home-made (magically made) breakfast. He knew them well enough to know that would do the trick. 

“Thank you…for looking out for me. I love you, Gavin.” Their soft words pulled him from his scheming and caused his heart to skip a beat. Despite the joy he felt from being able to feel the love mingling with their emotions. It was a completely different thing to hear the words out loud, the confirmation that his feelings were returned. He would never get enough of it.

“I love you too, Deviant.” 

[alfredosauce50]

whenever youre free, can you write yandere 2p china headcanons? im just thinking abt him 👉🏽👈🏽

Yandere 2p! China headcanons

Getting together with you was hard enough. But now that you’re his, he can’t go back to being a second choice he’s always been. He’s never letting you go.

Zao doesn’t have a single yandere characteristic by default, but when he does, ooh boy. It’ll take some time for him to deviate from his normal personality and mental stability, but given enough paranoia and infatuation, he will start losing his sanity, then, his ability to distinguish between right and wrong. And the terrifying thing is, he doesn’t even know it. By this logic, he is by far, the craziest yandere you’ll ever have the misfortune of encountering. 

(There isn’t a lot of fanart on 2p! China so have this fanart of Wei Wuxian for visual purposes)

Home life

He’s very into kissing, so much that he’ll sneak some in while doing the most mundane things. When he talks to you, he will hold your waist and fill the brief moments of silence with kisses. In his eyes, having his lips on yours while a conversation happens is being ‘productive’ as he makes the most out of being with you. Before anything escalates, which ends up happening more often than you’d prefer, you’ll pull away and clamp a hand over his mouth. He’ll lick your hand and laugh at your reaction. 

He bathes with you. He could’ve gone with the more economical option of showering, but he’s far from broke. And plus, he can do so much more while sitting down. You usually stay on the opposite end of the tub, but he’ll pull you onto his lap and whisper this in your ear, “Don’t be shy, kitten. This is your throne.” As you sink into his embrace, which ends up hotter than the water you’re submerged in, he will caress your back and make out with you. Once you’re pleading for air, he will pull away and trail a tongue up your neck instead. When you’re with him, he never actually lets you catch your breath, ever. 

Zao is very mindful of your comfort. Perhaps not when it comes to something sexual, per se, but he will always bring you a blanket if it gets a little chilly. If you forget to put socks on, he will put them on for you without asking. Whenever you go out, he will bring a bag with him and most of the things inside are either yours or for you. 

Spoiling you is a given. He can’t imagine a better way to put his hustle to good use--to give you things you want. Even if you don’t ask for anything, he never fails to get you something you end up loving. But there is one thing he won’t ever let you touch. Substances. Zao is so overprotective in all aspects of your life, he doesn’t even like you drinking. He’s a little more lenient on weed, and will let you have a few puffs of his joint. 

He always covers up at home, and will get a little flustered if you catch him indecent. Zao doesn’t wear a lot to bed, like tank tops and underwear, so he isn’t shirtless very often. The only time he doesn’t get embarrassed is when the mood is... You know. And he’s doing you-know-what with you. Otherwise, he will call you a pervert, but really, he’s teasing you more than expressing embarrassment. Because clearly, that’s rich coming from him.

Yeah. It’s not news how big of a pervert he is. Nor is he ashamed of it. Any dirty thought that crosses his mind, he will never fail to relay to you. It leaves you mortified when he tells you what he wants to do to you, in detail, especially when he isn’t being self-aware. Save that for when you get home, you idiot! But the private sphere only makes him even worse. 

He calms down at night, thankfully, and lays in bed with you on his chest. This is where his love language starts speaking to you. Connecting to you emotionally and mentally is how he shows he loves you. This takes place in long, deep, and random conversations, and if not, he will just captivate you in his dark eyes and stare at you endearingly. “What are you thinking about, kitten? I hope it’s something related to me~” Then, he’ll dig his hands through your hair and massage your head as he breathes you in until he gets intoxicated with you. 

When he gets jealous

He’s the type to get so jealous, it becomes suffocating for him--especially when he doesn’t outwardly show it. So whenever anyone remotely shows interest in you, he’ll keep his cool for the most part, but will get very irritable and clingy. It doesn’t matter how subtle they were, it could’ve been a single glance, even, but alarms will go off. He will pull you into a tight embrace and bury his face in your neck until they leave. You don’t really mind because he isn’t giving anybody trouble, but you do find it cute when he immediately returns to his soft side afterwards. 

Zao isn’t the biggest fan of conflict, even if he’s more than capable of it. Instead, he will gravitate towards his intelligence and cunning to outdo anybody he hates. Stalking is definitely on the table if he needs to get to know someone, then, when it comes down to it, sabotage. He will do anything to keep them busy so they wouldn’t have to see you. And he succeeds every time without you finding out.

Unlike most SO’s, it’s easier for him to get jealous over friends than love interests. He values the emotional aspect of your relationship with him the most, and gets very upset if you bond with people other than him, platonically or not. To make up for it, he demands your attention and ensures the time you spend with him is two times more fulfilling than whoever it was you were with. This is the fundamental reason why he’s more susceptible to getting jealous--literally anybody is a rival in his eyes. 

This is all the more reason to be so much more paranoid and restless than other typical yanderes. 

When you argue

He doesn’t agree with you on a lot of things, so it’s like talking to a brick wall. Objective subjects are easy to get through when it’s straight up facts, but if the topic is about what he can or cannot do in the relationship, save your breath. You will never get through to him. When he feels entitled to something, he takes his own side, regardless of what you feel about it.

Nevertheless, he will do the bare-minimum of leaving you alone in the meantime when you’re upset. That’s how he somehow respects this boundary he just crossed. But a few hours later, he will go back to normal, which means he will be affectionate even when you’re not in the mood. This cues the second phase of the fight. While you’re trying your damndest to push him away, he will corner you, physically and mentally. 

While he hugs you tight, he will force you to look at him while you cry. It’s invasive and suffocating, but the night always ends with you making up with him. Be it kissing or other means. It’s unfair, but no matter what he does, you can’t help giving in to him. And he knows this very well. That’s why he keeps doing it.  

Psychology + When he snaps

He is much more intelligent than he lets on. Even though he already knows you like the back of his hand, he studies you every day. If you asked him what you were thinking about, he could probably guess it. That’s what makes him such an intense lover. You can’t hide anything from him if you tried. Hence, he has a terrifying amount of control in the relationship, and he will use it to his advantage.

Zao is a good multitasker. He can juggle his ‘job’ and hobbies while keeping you in the palm of his hand. There is absolutely nothing you can do without him finding out, and this is precisely how he keeps himself miles ahead of you. 

As everything progresses, he will tolerate less and less. His love language is how much quality time he gets with you, along with emotional connection. Eventually, he will start ruling out the prospect of you having any of these things with anyone besides him. That includes friends, so he will start isolating you from them, all until the only soul you are truly close to is him. Soon, you will have to rely on him for everything, which he absolutely loves. He will make himself the only person in your life. 

As this continues, he will become obsessed with the idea of your co-dependency on him. Zao always loved looking after you, but he isn’t satisfied with that anymore. Being your own person? Hell no. Every single thing you do, he will be in the backdrop. If not, he will be next to you, and start influencing your own thoughts until you can’t even trust yourself. 

At this point, he is manipulating you to accept everything he does. And he succeeds a lot of the time, especially when he’s so unfazed. You start wondering if you should be this unfazed, even when what he’s doing is wrong. 

If one of your friends tries to intervene, he will make sure they won’t see the light of day ever again. He has a lot of connections, and combined with how cunning he is, he can get them to disappear with the snap of his fingers. He will keep doing this until every single person in your life is gone if he has to. 

Zao acts purely on his own desires. It’s his moral compass. Right and wrong will blur together so long as it’s for you, and there’s nothing he won’t do. Murder is as casual of a topic to discuss and do as having breakfast. 

A lot of psychopaths would at least get the thrill of doing something so heinous, but he won’t give a shit. He won’t bat an eye. He won’t feel the smallest shred of remorse and carry on like nothing happened. But what he will feel is satisfaction. 

If you find out what he did

You can cry all you like. He’ll only feel remotely guilty because you’re heartbroken, but it passes pretty quickly when he’s happy with what he’s done. You could try running away too. Try. But he always finds you. It doesn’t matter if you leave the country and go into hiding. He will follow you to the ends of Earth for the rest of his life. What can he say? He loves a good chase. It’s a fun game of cat and mouse he knows he’ll win. 

Every time he finds you, he’ll sneak up to you from behind and whisper, “Are you done, now? Let’s go home already.” If you try to run away again, he’ll just catch you and hold you tight, even while you’re thrashing in his arms. “I can do this forever, kitten. You have nobody else to go to, and nowhere else to be. So don’t waste your energy and come back with me.”

Response to ask: 

Of course :) I’m honored you submitted an ask to me after thinking about him 🤗 He’s definitely one of my favorites! Zao’s gotta be the most fleshed out 2p next to Allen. Since 2p’s aren’t canon, they rely solely on the fandom’s interpretation and ability to dish out content on them. I haven’t seen any proper yandere stuff on Zao, so I think this is a first. And boy, he’s a terrifying one for sure. I feel like he embodies the worst of the yandere trope because he’s into psychological manipulation. Worst isn’t the right word, actually. I believe ‘accurate’ is a better way of describing it. This is what a real yandere looks like.