#im. sad. a bit borderline crying

[memoryoflife]

depression night

[thatneoncrisis]

sometimes i think about jinx and like. idk theres something about her that irks me thats seperate from her as a character its like. the language the show and fans use to discuss the kind of person she is in relation to what she was like as a child.

at times it feels borderline ridiculous how much powder is put on a pedastal. im not saying shes secretly evil or bad or whatever that's fucking stupid but like. shes the kind of good you can only be when you are a child that young. and the need for the story to posit that as like, the best of jinx, a naive child with documented extreme emotional regulation issues is bizarre

i got this short recommended to me with the boards from season two of isha stopping violet from killing jinx in that sewer fight. and someone in the comments was like oh they should have kept that shot of jinx crying, bc it shows she still has POWDERS innocence. its shit like that that makes my skin crawl. its like the kind of thing your emotionally dense family says to you, oh why arent you happy like you were when you were six years old? now youre hateful and rude? why dont you like the same things as you did when you were in goddamn elementary school

the way i initially thought of it was along the lines of: powder isnt Better than jinx- theyre the same person! powder did everything jinx did, she changed. theres no like, stagnant pure untouched baby heart wrapped up in the skin of a killer she just. grew up. made shitty choices.

then i sat on it. identity is a powerful conplex thing. gonna pull out the most basic ass example here- bruce wayne and batman. theres this scene in batman beyond. if you dont wanna click the link the long and short is that batman is talking to his protégé and states that he knew the voice in his head telling what to do during that episode wasnt a form of psychosis because the voice was calling him bruce. "thats not what i call myself," he says. batman is fully integrated into his identity. he is batman before hes bruce. if anything, the billionaire playboy thing is more of a costume than him literally dressing up as a menecing bat themed superhero. he identifies with fear and vengence and justice more than his birthright

with all of that i accept jinx having this sort of mentality about herself. a before and after. there was powder then there was jinx. i accept the people in the show talking about her like this- especially violet. i honestly found her refusal to engage with jinx as her own person and constantly trying to appeal to "powder" interesting and kind of pathetic (IN A GOOD WAY THIS WAS A GOOD CHOICE). it makes things simpler when you actually have to deal with the damage shes caused. you arent killing your sister- jinx already did that. powder is already dead, this is just a loose end. i also think this makes One thing about the season 2 scene where they find their father again touching. violet acknowledges that vander was jinxs dad too. it was both of their losses from a horrible accident. there are other bits about that exchange i dont like but this isnt about that

what gets me is like. the very mechanics of the show and the fandom as a whole just sort of accepting this idea of jinx/powder in its most simplistic form. yes powder is the Good Baby and jinx is the Evil Murderer. all good things jinx does is actually her becoming powder again and all bad things powder did was foreshadowing jinx. it scrubs the line between maladaptive copong mechanism and just. a really dull way of thinking about her

i think its very. very sad. that we go through ekko interacting with an alt world jinx/powder, one seemingly more well adjusted but has still suffered a heavy loss. but shes had kinder people in her life to help her bear that weight. and then when we see him confronted with his own jinx, at the end of her rope, actively committed to blowing it all up and erasing herself from the picture. we dont get to see any of it. he finds the middle ground Off Screen. we see her and shes just decided dying for real is dumb or maybe shell just let herself die during the battle, she has the new haircut and hoodie and.

it just kind of says nothing we dont know what changed her mind we dont know! ive sewn people say that ekko brought up the alt world jinx as a sign of her being capable of good but 1. we already got a whole season of that with her and the baby, and if you bring up that she feels guilty about that bc isha was killed, i will mention that alt world powder was ALSO wracked with guilt bc SHE was the one messing with the little magic crystals and got violet blown up. these are comparable situations and neither of them really end with her feeling good about herself

maybe its about perseverance. maybe its him saying hey i saw you go through something awful in another life and you lived. you got better and you had people who loved you and i love you and. fill in the rest of the speech. maybe thats it. maybe the middle point of powder and jinx issssss. resilience. maybe the show is just kind of ambiguously having her deal with severe dissociation. maybe everyone has a good baby and an evil monster in their brain at a control panel fighting at all times for dominance. maybe there can be inherent good qualities to jinx that has nothing to do with peoples foggy recollection of her at 9 years old

[pawsmos]

I beg for your thoughts on harada keizou.. please he's the boy ever

you want to hear MY thoughts on harada keizou?!?!?!??

(whoops this has been in my drafts for 10 million years and a half)

yap session + tetro spoilers under cut.

sorry if it’s borderline unreadable im very excited

ok first look at the only jewelry i wear daily. now guess how this post is going to go.

i love harada keizou a LLOT. as soon as i watched [the interview: harada] i was hooked. i still remember on my first watch going “HE HAS A TIGER?!” my life was changed forever at that very moment. (/j. well. maybe /srs. idk.)

when i talk about my love for harada with other tetro fans i often hear stuff like “he’s so boring though.”

(first of all he’s NOT BORING!! he just doesn’t have a lot going for him!)

second of all, the reason i like him is because he’s just… so me?? one of my favorite hobbies is deeply researching on animals and stuff like that and spewing them out randomly when im bored. my childhood dream was to become a marine biologist, but i think my interests have expanded to all zoology!!!!! hes also a bit socially awkward and acts polite because hes afraid of being rude oooh hes so me i wanna study him under a microscooope. (we were also both bullied in middle school LMAOO) he’s just very… real to me?? idk dude??

i like to project a lot of headcanons onto him, (if you’ve seen my art it’s pretty clear). you might notice i do this MOST with all my favorite characters. (falin dunmeshi, ace markey, flash vector, etc etc etc.) i actually doodle him a lot and hes all over my school notes. i will never post them though because the first iterations compared to my latest ones are practically incongruous and it’s very funny and jarring.

his side bang that he has? its now turned into a whole side lock. freckles. slightly tanner skin. make him a bit chubbier. you can see the progression and its hilarious. (YOU WILL NEVER CATCH ME POSTING THE DOODLES HERE THOUGH THEYRE SO EMBARASSING.)

i feel like a preteen girl doodling about her crush in a pink sparkly notebook with a gold glitter gel pen. speaking of gold. that brings me to yukino hirano who i love SO much.

(a few spoilers for her terminal + suicide mention)

i eat all the transgender rep i get with a spoon and as soon as HARADA. KEIZOU’S. GIRLFRIEND. IS CONFIRMED TO BE TRANSGENDER.?? over the moon im serious. i PRAY whoever was writing the terminal (seki?) was just bluffing about her committing suicide or im going to be very sad.

ive listened to the fan song “gold” maybe 15 times now and theyre so CUTE im going to explode. for a character with literally zero screen time, i looove her so much!!!!.!

back with harada i was genuinely distraught after “trial of the hanged” it was one of the first fangan trials i watched and genuinely bawled. i actually watched its premiere at a sleepover; it was twelve in the morning and when my friend asked me why i was crying, through tears i was like “that tiger!!!! that fucking tiger” and she looked at me like i was insane. i actually must have looked insane i do NOT blame her at all.

toth was where i REALLY started loving tetro’s writing because of the sheer verisimilitude!!! the way he acted was so realistic, and even before the trial started he felt so guilty!! though he was afraid of death, he didn’t fight anyone after he was found out and the way he was crying i was BAWLING SO HARD. at least the whole tiger trio is together now.

anyway tldr von is amazing. bless her forever for giving me the gift of harada keizou.

[we-love-lando-norris-over-here]

not to be incendiary but people were really acting like mcl were asking oscar to lay down on the road and let lando run him over repeatedly even in aus this year like the guys fine completely fine its retrospectively such cry baby shit i know everyones mad about zaks insta caption rn but theyre trying so hard to project an image of grr were letting them race like real racing drivers grrr were not team order central its such an obvious self cringe about papaya rules and how everyone fried them about it gods honest truth sometimes im glad theyre not trying to be helpful to lando cus wed neeeevvveeerrrr hear the end of it people would cry so hard for a guy who is literally fucking fine whos teammate literally went and of his free will gave back a team orders win it would be ridiculous levels of self victimisation/borderline infantilisation isnt it so sad the people at his job tell him what to do boohoo what do you mean hes won races thats not enough for me i need to project some sob story

Yeah, 81s are exhausting. One minute they’re screaming about oscunt having that “killer instinct,” next minute they want him bubble-wrapped and bottle-fed through every race weekend. You can’t sell me on his champion mindset if he needs emotional support every time Lando outraces him. (see Spain where he promised a "fucking awesome weekend" after he touched every wall in Monaco and lost pole, the win and track record to his teammate).

Here’s the thing. They don’t want oscunt to be oscunt. They want him to be Lando.

Lando joined McLaren in 2019 and built himself up from a midfield nobody to a multiple-podium, race-winning driver. Every high, every crash, every heartbreak—people watched it. That’s a narrative. That’s a climb. That’s what makes you root for someone. That’s what builds a fanbase.

And oscunt? His career highlight was rage-quitting Alpine over Twitter (tied to his first being gifted to him because mcl had to emotionally abuse his teammate to give it to him). Then oscunt dragged around a midfield car for a bit, couldn’t capitalize when the car was good (see 2024 when mcl managed to win the Constructor's Championship with 4 wins from Lando and 2 from oscunt), and the second mcl builds something decent, "conveniently but not intentionally" tailored to his driving style (if 81s are to be believed), he’s suddenly Mr. Championship Contender. Excluding spinning out at home, due to his own error (talk about fumbling under the pressure).

81s are out here trying to claim a redemption arc for a guy who’s never actually fallen. He's just plain boring.

TL;DR: they want their baby boy to have Lando’s story, but he doesn’t have it. So they cope. Loudly. With fiction. And whatever garbage the pundits/mcl are allowing to circulate this week.

[hellonerf]

YOUR ART AND YOUR METAAAAQA

killing myself (complimentary) I so badly wanted to talk about caname back in the day but there were so few troopers around. Every post you make is a 10/10 hit this is awesome

have you ever written mapletea/can and Eng meta? would love to read ur thoughts

thank you so much ☺️ i am a #CanameTrooper i also didn't find a lot of caname(and in the way i rly liked it) when i first got into hetalia and it probably made me more obsessive about it

i do like mapletea/canengcan but in my mind it keeps ending up being used to elevate caname somehow Sorry im sorry mapletea fans. there was a time where i got mad when i saw it because it drove my otp heart crazy with rage. mostly because i kept seeing things where they'd focus a lot on cana->eng and ame->eng but didn't do anything with caname and it pissed me off so much it was borderline a notp at one point. im healed now 😇 so i do like it 😇

i don't have much thoughts about it you wouldn't get from people who are more invested in it. it's funny how much eng kinda doesn't care about cana compared to how much he cares about ame. maybe less funny but really sad actually. but do you see what i mean i keep using it for caname like i think cana's envy keeps wrapping back around to be about ame somehow sorry This is my sick and twisted mind

i honestly think cana is even more unreciprocated in mapletea. like cana is less cucked in caname and caname is the cuckoldry ship to me. so i guess mapletea would be The the cuckoldry ship then

cana does care a lot A lot about getting england's attention. maybe in someways or sometimes even more than he cares about getting america's attention(breaks my OTP heart but i can't live in denial)(don't like this post if you don't agree with cana->ame insanity)(though it's probably because it's actually less of a concern how much of america's attention he gets?#DelusionOrTrue) so i do think there's a bit of a rivalry in caname for that. it's less lively than it sounds because i think all sides of ace are dead empty air. and any feelings of rivalry or the neglect that causes it would be because of how england himself has treated them since they were young 😮 so😮what a shit family 😕 satan's triangle...

the dynamic in mapletea is rly up my alley for me to be interested in but caname got me first. and i got petty about it. sorry. i do want to draw it sometimes so Maybe Someday...

cana can't make up his mind about who's attention he wants to cry about not getting. what's his problem? what is his deal?

[eegrroegguorroe]

vibes way way too fucked today. meeting new friend A went well at first but i miscalculated the vibe i really shouldnt have taken a vyvanse and A has a pretty terrible faimly situation borderline abusive and she had overworked themselves prior to us meeting up doing a lot of shit throughout the morning we were already at her house when she had to drop her brother off somewhere and she ended up having a panic attack in the driveway. B calmed her down as she was the one introducing me to A and has known her since she moved from halfway across the world. then we went to the bookstore i volunteered at previously hopefully to help her calm down more but we just had to call quits on the night early. by this time i was coming down so i just felt (i still am, a lot, to be frank) suicidal and like it was my fault even though i know it wasnt and that if it was it was only a little as to be basically inconsequential. i told A i loved the brief few hours we spent together anyway and told her im always open but i still feel really really awful, 2mg-kpin-and-a-beer-not-being-enough-to-drown-my-sadness awful. me and B had spent a bit of time sort of venting to each other about family stuff while A dropped her brother off wherever too which may have contributed to it i dont know. came back home to discover i had accidentally left out my bag of stolen-from-my-mom vyvanse pills too so i know she knows now and just doesnt want to talk about it so for the foreseeable future i will be bracing for that conversation which will probably be even more painful than the one whre she confronted me about cutting cause my family has a history of substance abuse. i wish i could socialize without being high to disinhibit myself. i want to cry but i cant. brian wilson is dead the air is polluted with the smoke of burnt trees. i love my friends but i also feel like i should just never speak to them again, again

[suck-itaand-see]

date, time, me, city i am in, nowhere

And on my deathbed I will only say your name for the last time because my heart anyway stayed alive 'till now so i can taste a little bit of yours. I won't regret what i will miss in the future, i am forever a prisoner of a past. I'm tired of keeping things I love alive just for a while then finding new ways not to die because it feels like all I ever had take me as it goes. On my deathbed my last sentence will be that one you very well know, only three words, just like my favorite number / no one ever cared to know why it is my favorite one. They will find out too late and far too soon. The only happiness I've ever got was in a hands of one who are under the ground, for such a long time now. I'm tired to care, too tired to cry, I'm done waiting for a miracle all the damn time. I believe in God but not really that it exists somewhere but more like a concept. Someone really wanted to live so he invented God and prayers. I think you need to be strong to survive only by praying to stay alive. I was always only one contradict. I got to know me and decided i don't like what i see. The saddest part of all is I can't be changed, tamed just damned.

' I won't cry myself to sleep like a sucker I won't cry myself to sleep If I do, I'll die I pray your life is sweet, you fucker '

I used to love you, I was ready to be trained like a dog. Nothing is ever enough from what i got. People come and take only good i have inside and they run, run. run and i can never hide! before next ones arrive.

I came to realize im not as empty as i thought. My therapist blame it all on borderline. It's just the bullshit parade, for someone to ease their pain so they don't take the blame. I'm full of life, understanding, wanting to know, to run free, to read, to draw, to love..Oh, to love and be loved! No one knew how to love me since i was a child. My mom used to rush to the ER every other night, i almost never cried, she was scared i might die because good babies cry!

I wish my mom knew that I will definitely stay physically alive but nothing was ever normal when it comes to me as a person. I don't say I'm much different then anyone who walks by but somehow i can't find a place for myself nowhere even if i try so, so, SO hard to find..To belong where it is nice, where i can meet myself as a human being and not as a statue someone built and hopes it won't fall apart for as many years as possible. I can't stay alive only so other people don't get sad or depressed... like they even cared. Even when someone dies the only victims are the ones who carry them to the ground. I don't won't to rot in the cold cemetery but I would rather my ashes to fall in the sea, to go somewhere so deep where i always belonged. My thoughts are becoming so strong, always been too deep to keep any conversation clean. I scare people, either they way i don't look like i have a spark in my eye or when i open my mouth i say something they find really weird. I cannot fit in. Arms who held me knew how to destroy me when they let me go and it is truly only home, one where i felt warm. I changed homes a lot. I don't have one now and no will to try too look for one again. I love this quote: 'don't turn people into a home you might end up homeless.' Not the most precious one but neither am I. I can't find warmth inside of any four walls, cute decoration or christmas lights...By the way, they are all over the town. It reminds me that another year is ending just like me. Somehow, i never understood why people celebrate january 1st? Sounds like a game..to be dependend to a stupid calendar. Laughing this out, the stupid one is I. I put my life in strangers hands and always felt like it is where my hopes are! Lucky are those who count years as a blessing as well as getting old. I'm still a little girl who once got lost for ten minutes, looking for my mom's face in a crowded restaurant, then i thought i will never find. I stayed in that exact state of mind. Only truth i believe is that freedom is a state of mind which i never felt. Tattoo on my arm 'prayer for the wild at heart kept in cages' is favorite part of my body because it's truly a part of me i know i can feel as mine. As i write this i cry but im so tired for it to be loud, just tears are falling out of my eyes in hopes i won't survive 'till next hour.

[astralwaifu]

hi hiiii!! i hope ur having a good day!!! i feel like i request a lot of platonic stuff and it feels weird bc everyone focuses on ships but i recently realized im aroace so i hope all the platonic requests are understandable!! but i have another request for you if you don't mind!! could you do platonic shiggy comforting teen fem reader who has been really sad these days? she is usually happy and cheerful nut nowadays she is so tired,cries all the time and just sad :( also they are close and he is worried about her:( have a good day/night and take care!!!! 💘💘💘💘

hi!!! firstly i wanted to say that i’m more than proud of you, i know it takes a lot of courage and patience to come to terms with yourself, and it can be difficult at times! 💞 you have all our encouragement and acceptance and just know that if you have a bad day or feel down you can always text me - you don’t have to be alone through your journey. Anyway this is your Shiggy comfort, i hope it will make you smile! (´っω=`) !!

Shiggy comforting teen reader

genre: comfort with a little dash of angst

pairing: Shigaraki x f! teen reader that’s depressed

warning: none

wc: 782

Requests are still open!

——————————————————————————

Shigaraki saw that you were at your lowest fairly soon. He is usually an observant person and never misses any detail about the people he cares about. What he lacks is the capacity to act according to that.

That’s why, when he saw your puffy cheeks and red eyes, he didn’t know what to say. Anything could go wrong: just the wrong choice of words and you could end up even worse. He didn’t want that, no.

So Shigaraki waited. The man wanted to see if this is just a passing event or it’s something that really bothers and upsets you.

It has been a week since than and you were obviously not better.

Shigaraki mentally cursed himself for not talking to you sooner. His heart and soul were breaking at the sight of your slumped frame and drooping shoulders walking aimlessly around the base. The empty stare in your eyes frightened him to the core, even though recently you didn’t even look him (or others) in the eyes). You were just glaring down at their hands. And it didn’t help that Shigaraki was full of them.

He should talk to you, no! He WILL talk to you. ‘What is this sudden urge of confidence? You can’t even tell what you yourself feel 90% of the time’ he thought to himself. Enough making plans, he should just go and start talking.

‘Bad idea, bad idea, bad idea’ he frenetically thought when he approached you. Isolated from the others in your room, you just finished crying. Again. ‘Hell, where does she get all those tears from….’

“Ahem… y/n… can I come in?” he knocked on your door even if it was open and you could see bits of the inside of the room.

You quickly rubbed your palms on your eyes and face, trying to wipe the tears away, but he already entered and saw you. Shigaraki wasn’t wearing Father today and frankly, it made you feel somewhat better, those hands always creeped you. Part of the reason you only looked at them for the past week -it was also easier to focus on them instead of your own emotions.

“You are not ok.” he said bluntly. Damn that didn’t sound right. “No, no, i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to come that harshly”. He was exasperated at this own incapacity to form coherent comforting words. “…do you want to talk about what you are feeling right now? It’s ok if you don’t, I just want you to know that your feelings are valid” he slowly said, accentuating every words, as if he memorised them.

And he did. He also found them on google, after searching how to comfort people. The site also said to smile understandingly at the said person, so he tried the best, but ended up with a strange grin.

You were borderline terrified, which he saw. Stopping to smile, he apologised again.

“It’s ok, really, Shiggy…I just…haven’t been well recently. A lot of things have gathered inside my soul and it’s just tiring to keep it all together. I’m…i’m tired.” you finally looked up to him, all doe eyed. “I’m not ready to talk about it now, but when I do, i’ll come to you”

He then did something that surprised the both of you: he hugged you. He wrapped his long arms around your torso, mindful of keeping two fingers up.

“It’s ok, i’m here” After a few seconds, he added “Hey brat….y/n! Let’s go out.” “Out?” “Out.” “But it’s dangerous and we are villains and-“ “And what? Do you think some ops can stop me” You giggled “Never”

And that’s how Shigaraki Tomura, Japan’s most dangerous criminal, was walking down the streets of Kamino Ward, risking to be seen by the pro-heroes on duty, just to see one of your precious smiles.

The night felt easier as the two of you wandered around the lanetern lit alleys, Shigaraki occasionally cracking a joke, talking about the future, about your wishes and plans, everything that his mind came up to. And you did look more content, happier would be too much to say, he knew that the source of the problem was still there. But as long as you were by his side, he wouldn’t stop looking for your smiles.

And how could you not smile when you saw him try so hard? Who knew he cared so much about you? Well, let’s just say that even in his lack of comforting capacities, he did care for you and your well being, even more than you could ever imagine.

[elysianslove]

cheering you up ; haikyuu boys

synopsis; different ways the haikyuu boys care for you and cheer you up when you’re sad

pairings; karasuno x reader, nekoma x reader, aoba johsai x reader, fukurodani x reader, shiratorizawa x reader, inarizaki x reader

genre; fluff

warnings; none probably a bunch of mistakes lmfao

note; i had to repost this like 3 times rip. anyways, im sorry for not adding inarizaki on my last one jbshds but they’re here now!!

karasuno ━━

sugawara koshi; i definitely think he's so in tune with you, and your emotions. he learns your cues very well, and knows every little thing about you that there is to learn. if you're having a bad day, he'll notice right away. he won't comment on it though. all he'll do is these little things to try to cheer you up, but it's going to be very subtle. he'll let u rest ur head on his shoulder, run his fingers through ur hair. he'll sneakily buy u ur favorite snack. doesn't bring anything up until you do. ends the day with cuddles and a chick flick.

sawamura daichi; he notices but he doesn't really know how to react. not because he doesn't know what to do, but because he doesn't want to trigger you or deepen your sadness in any way. he's very careful with you. if it's something throughout the day, he's very quiet and tender with you, just silently lets you rest your head against his chest and rubs your back/arm tenderly. as you're walking home he asks if you want to talk about it, and reminds you that it's good to, but it's also okay if you don't want to.

nishinoya yuu; not a single sad moment with mr noya here. seriously you cannot breathe. ok but in all honesty, when you're sad. he's sad. sends you memes, and you'll be laughing at them with tears streaming down your face because you don't really know what you're feeling anymore. he does a lot of tiktok trends with you, any of the couple ones. grabs your faces and ,,, smooch all over. until you have no choice but to laugh. if you want to cry even more, he'll watch the notebook and the vow a thousand times over, and be a sobbing mess next to you. just don't tell the guys okay? <3

kageyama tobio; he's so.   bad. at this please help him. like he can tell ur sad, bc he's v good at reading people. but like. what the fuck is he supposed to do. anyways. when u two get to be alone and he kinda notices how quiet you are, he just nudges you slightly, and pulls you to him. it's easier to talk to you, he's calmer, when he can't directly look at you. when he feels you start to shake in his arms, feels the wet tears down your cheeks as you start to sob in his arms, his heart kinda breaks. all he can do is hold you, but it's what you need. and he'll listen too, if that's what you need as well.

tsukishima kei; i think he notices, but doesn't bring it up at all. the way he goes about it is he'll tease you to try and bring a smile on your face. because this is tsukki, and you know him well enough, you know the truth behind his jabs, enough to appreciate them. if it doesn't work, he'll just start to make fun of people in front of you, pointing random people out with you and just being like "wanna bet on what's making their relationship fall apart" this sadist i stg. like suga, he subtly makes you feel better until you yourself approach him about whatever's upsetting. actually gives 10/10 advice bc he's v honest.

asahi azumane; he's so empathetic oh my god bruh. notices immediately. "baby what's got u so upset" w a big pout on his face and when u just mumble "nothin" so low he barely catches it and instead throw yourself into his arms, he gives you a big, certified asahi bear hug. doesn't leave your side at all. constantly mutters sweet nothings and encouragements. if you do the bare minimum like make it through class he'll meet you after and be all "im so proud of my pretty baby". cuddles all day. all night. he's not very good at advice but he is the best listener !!! so attentive and you'll feel a huge weight lifted.

tanaka ryunosuke; "aight who do i need to jump" type beat. u love him so much though. that one sentence and sentiment already has you feeling better. immediately hugs you so tight, borderline suffocating you. "wanna ditch school". 100% willing to do so. he doesn't really know whether to approach it with distracting you or facing the obstacle head-on, but he finds a middle ground. eats your feelings out with you. saeko pulls out the embarrassing ryu pictures and suddenly you don't know why you were ever sad.

hinata shoyo; is really oblivious for a bit tbh. when he first meets you at the start of the day and his hyperactive self is greeted by your duller, sadder self, he doesn't think much of it. it's when you don't react to him or interact with him the way you usually would that he starts to notice you being off. he's actually super straightforward about it, and approaches you with some of your favorite snack that he bribed ukai to give him for free and just "wanna tell me whats up, baby?" he's so, so easy to talk to. immediately you're venting. and he listens to intently, gives stupidly good advice. it's like such simple approaches to your problem but?? it works. anyways you love him.

yamaguchi tadashi; will be super worried about what he could do to make it better, and kinda just tries to feed you as much positive energy as he can. once he's comfortable with people, he becomes really chatty, so i see him talking your ear off with the biggest smile on his face that you have no choice but to kind of ? mimic it? he just radiates goodness and sweetness that it shifts your own energy. he on some witchcraft shit on god. anyways when he walks you home or something, he'll just stop for a min and avoid your eyes when he says "ik u dont feel the best, but i dont want you to have to hide that from me, okay?" stan tadashi <3

nekoma ━━

kuroo tetsurō; drops everything. i mean it. i genuinely think kuroo would be such a good boyfriend that he'll sense it and text u as ur getting ready for school and be like "are u sad i feel like ur sad". you dont really wanna worry him and you'll just reassure him ur fine but he's already at your front door in — not his school uniform. insists the two of you take the day off saying "its fine babe im super smart". you two will spend the whole day just simply existing, talking when needed, he listens to you if you vent, and tries to come up with as many options of solutions for you so you don't feel weighed down. he'll make sure you eat even if you don't have an appetite, and will try to make u do something productive bc in a lotta cases, it could help you feel a lil better yk :)

kozume kenma; i pretend i do not see it — kozume kenma (2020). jbwjwks im jk. he's like tsukki in the sense that he will never address it, and he doesn't outwardly approach you about it. if it's just an off day for you, and you also happen to not have school, you'll go over to his house, hoping to feel a little bit better when you see him. "can i have a kiss, sunshine" to which he responds "why." you just go "im sad" and he gives u a big smooch. he'll have you lay on his lap while he plays his games, occasionally just sneaking in a peak at you to make sure you're okay. he'll ask if you wanna play to get your mind off things for a while. eventually, when things wind down a bit, he'll just mutter "yk i love you, yeah?" and that lights up your world hehe

haiba lev; as soon as he notices you're sad he just ☹️. he picks out a small flower and as soon as he sees you, he just tucks it by your ear, and smile so brightly and youll just be like "oh my god lev please stop being so cute". he won't really know what to do tbh, but the way he's so lost makes it so heartwarming and it honestly cheers you up all on its own. he just. "would a kiss make it better" and if you nod he'll just start kissing all over your face so softly, until he finally kisses your lips. when he pulls away he asks "again?" with a cute smile and if you nod he'll just kiss you over and over again. very simple way of cheering you up, and very foolproof tbh.

yaku morisuke; i think throughout the day, he might pester you a little bit about telling him what was wrong, but after you keep insisting you're fine, he relents, and decides that maybe giving you your own time and space to open up to him is better. he tries not to act differently in that sense, but he finds himself being a little more soft spoken, and gentler with you. i just had this image flash in my brain of you resting your head on a desk, head turned to the right, and then yaku comes and sits to your right, putting his head on the desk and facing you. and just. "hi :)" your heart melts. he kisses your forehead softly and tells you you're wonderful, in case you've forgotten. if, or when, you do open up to him, he'll be very eager to listen, and ready to fight off whoever upset you.

yamamoto taketora; this man is angry. like properly. "who the FUCK put a frown on my baby's face. speak the fuck up. i won't hurt you. ill just mutilate you." if you tell him that it's no one, and that you're just upset, he'll be so confused but he'll just nod and be like "okay. okay. do you want a hug?" and he'll hug you so tight. he'll admit that he doesn't like seeing you like this, and that he'll do anything to make it better. at first he's very cautious, but then he just lightbulb moment and as soon as you get home he'll be like "karaoke night babyyyyy" and then. no more sad.

aoba johsai ━━

oikawa tōru; very. perceptive. he greets you normally, even if he notices something's off, because he won't want to worsen anything. you meet him right before he has practice after school, and he'll just cup your face, lifting them to brush at your hair, and you just sigh. "my baby's had a long day, yeah?" he'll be very gentle and careful with you, i'm sure. he gives you a kiss, smiling softly into it, and reassuring you that you're much too strong to let a single bad day destroy you like this. he meets you later that night with a lotta ice cream and you two just binge watch any reality show you could find, shit talking the actors together. he himself is terrible at talking about his feelings this dumbass >:( so he understands if you don't want to yk? will encourage u to vent it out though. expect terrible, makes no sense advice

iwaizumi hajime; he kinda like. gets mad? when you continue to be upset and not speak about it? he's not mad at you! he's just. mad. this is iwa okay. anyways. he won't bring it up mostly, only being slightly more affectionate, especially in his hand holding, which is super gentle already as it is. when he invites you over, that's when he actually starts to talk to you about it. he lets you know that there's nothing worse than seeing you like this and not knowing what to do, and that he wants you to be able to talk to him. about anything. even if you think it's stupid. he'll listen, and tell you that it's not stupid if it's making you upset. he cooks for you <33333 then bakes with you <33333 you feel a lot lighter at the end of the night tbh

hanamaki takahiro; (he's so annoying i love him). as soon as he sees you upset he makes it his mission throughout the day to cheer you up in any possible way. spams your phone while you're class with ten thousand wholesome memes. sends you pick up lines. when he meets you in between classes he just yells out "how's my favorite person in the entire world!" and kisses you so wholly in the middle of the school hallway lmfao. while he's walking you home, takes a longer route and purposely, he passes by your favorite store/bakery/ice cream parlor. buys u ur favorite, and pretends to be shocked when you give him a piece. late at night, he'll facetime you, wondering how you're feeling, asking if you needed to talk about it. whether you do or you don't, you two will fall asleep facetiming.

matsukawa issei; the minute he sees you he's like "whats wrong". no hi or anything. he has like this frown on his face, which seems off bc it's rare to see a frown on issei's face, and he just tucks your chin in his palm gently and stares at your pout. "you good, baby?" he can tell you're not, but he wants you to be able to tell him on your own. sticks by your side the entire day, and nobody really mentions it. he talks to you as if it were a normal day, but his voice has a softer edge. he's not distracting you, per se. he's more, talking to fill the space while giving you your own space to think. once you're alone, he'll just drag you to the nearest comfy surface, flop down, and pull you on top of him. if you even try to resist or ask whats going on he'll just "nap and cuddles first." and when u sleep a lil bit of ur sadness away, he'll just let you talk it out as he continues to hold you <333

fukurodani ━━

bokuto kōtarō; just as empathetic as asahi, if not more. he really does feel it all with you. yk sympathy pains that partners get when women get contractions? bokuto is that partner. with bokuto, i feel like he'd never make you feel like you couldn't just straight up text him "im sad" and feel bad about it. if you ever do that, he'll immediately call, not even bothering with a text. if he can't come over, he stays with you until you've cried your heart out and then laughing until you can't breathe. if he can go over, he smothers you with love. repeatedly says "you know i love you, yeah? you know how grateful i am for you?" and in between kisses "im so lucky. so, so lucky."

akaashi keiji; i feel like as soon as akaashi notices you're down, or you're slightly off, he just grabs your hand and squeezes, forcing you to stop spacing out and focus on him for a second. if you're with a lot of people around you, he'll lean close to you and ask if you wanna go home. he'll be so soft and gentle and understanding, making up some excuse on the spot on why the two of you have to leave. if you're alone, he'll grab your hand and kind of tug you towards him, silently asking you to come into his arms, where you yourself know you feel safest. as soon as you're in the comfort of your home together, he'll like run you a bath and slip into it with you, just holding you until the water grows cold and the droplets on your skin are from your own tears. he'll wait it out, just holding you as reassurance, then make sure nothing's stopping you from spilling everything to him.

konoha akinori; when he first notices, he kinda deflates. like. who would wanna see their s/o like that? his smile is gentler when he greets you, and he's so soft with you. he grabs a pen and lifts your palm up, quickly scribbling down in his unique handwriting "i love you :) <3" on your skin, whispering for you not to wash it off until the end of the day. it is weirdly motivating tbh. as soon as the two of you are alone, he says it to you, face to face, an expected look on his face as if to ask "you know that, yeah?". puts on a movie to tune out the rest of the world, and holds you close to him as it drags on. he'll give advice if you're asking for it, but he's a better listener than anything else.

shiratorizawa ━━

ushijima wakatoshi; does not notice. in all honesty, he expects you to approach him whenever you have an issue or if you're upset. he's kinda like ? so confused when you're so down and really unresponsive, until he starts to notice how touchy you are. like you're leaning more into his touch, holding onto his hand like it's your lifeline, stealing his vbc jacket because it smells like him. is very straightforward, and will just ask you if you're okay as he walks/drives you home. kinda just stops in front of your house and presses a kiss to your forehead, then pulling you into a hug. "please don't be upset." he won't tell you that it kills him, but you can sense the unsaid words. he urges you to keep his jacket when he notices how safe it makes you feel. greets you the next morning with a new cactus in a pot hehe.

semi eita; is very cuddly once he notices. you'll sit at a table in school and he'll be sitting next to you, but he just pulls you into him and lets you rest your head on his chest, mumbling softly into your hair "i know you're sad and it's okay." he doesn't say anything else, just holds you there with a few kisses in between until he has to let go. late at night, if your thoughts are still keeping you up, he'll be up too, worrying, and will text you at 3 am if u wanna sneak out to meet him. takes you to the park and lays on the grass with you, picking out stars and constellations in the sky, with a soft soundtrack playing from his phone next to the two of you. he makes you feel secure enough to be sad even if you have all the blessings in the world, and makes sure you know that he'll always be there for you, even at 3 in the morning.

satori tendō; cheers you up by making you forget literally everything. replaces the sadness in your brain with just pure serotonin in any way he can think of. he'll take you to an amusement park, get ice cream with you, take you to the carnival in town, to the park, to the beach, to the pool, take you up to his house's rooftop. literally anything. and then he'll say something like "life's too short to spend it being sad over anything, darling." he's so understanding, and if you're frustrated or something he'll tell you to let it out by like wrestling him or some shit. exhausts you so much and you're filled to the brim with dopamine. he makes sure you're always happy, never seeing a dull moment in your relationship with him.

goshiki tsutomu; freaks out. plain and simple lmfao. but once he like grounds himself, he just softly comes up to you and asks you if you wanna talk about it, or if there's anything he can do. if yes, he'll break his leg running to go do it. if no, he'll just sit with you in silence, leaning over to hold your hand, talking to you about volleyball and his aspirations and how well he's improving. he's better at distracting you than helping you face your issues, mainly because he stresses out about giving the wrong advice or somehow making you sadder. he'll take a lot of pictures of you together on snapchat random filters to try and cheer you up, then later on in the night he'll send them to you and be like "look how cute we are ugh what a power couple" i love this dorkhabsjsks

shirabu kenjirō; i think he definitely notices, but keeps it to himself. he’d maybe think he’s imagining things and that you’re okay, so he’d go about his day normally. he doesn’t see you after school, and that’s when he puts two and two together and realizes yeah maybe you are sad. so he texts you, and texts you, and texts you, and gets no reply, so he just. comes over. unannounced. uninvited. just straight vibes. he’s already ordered your favorite take out, and already settling in bed with you under the cover with the lights dimmed and some chick flick playing in the background. gives the b e s t advice because he’s so blunt. like he will tell you if you’re overreacting, but you’re still his s/o, so he’d like wince as he says it. that’s all the sympathy you’re getting <3 but his bluntness will shock you into laughing hehe

inarizaki ━━

miya atsumu; usually, with atsumu, you’re always experiencing loud days. your relationship is all fun and flirty and suave and cool. but when he notices you’re sad, he goes quiet. like. eerily so. immediately pulls you aside somewhere private if you’re at a public place like school or something, and with his hands in yours he asks you if you’re okay. yk that thing where ur on the verge of tears and someone asks you if you’re okay and you just burst. yeah <3. his heart absolutely breaks and he just pulls you into a hug, resting your head on his chest and wrapping his arms around your neck. he just holds you there, even if you’re missing class/your friends are worried. he’ll stay with you until your tears have dried up, until you yourself let go.

miya osamu; i don’t see osamu as someone that loves pda. i feel like he’d be a more lowkey kinda guy. but if you’re sad, that gets thrown out the window. he doesn’t really in the moment, and won’t think too much when he pulls you close to his side and just wraps an arm around your waist/shoulder. yeah he’ll get looks but he can feel you trembling and shaking from holding back tears so yk, priorities. he’ll definitely stress eat with you. takes you literally anywhere and feeds you as you rant to him with tears streaming down your face and he’s just nodding sympathetically as he stuffs your mouth one bite after the other. romance is beautiful

suna rinatarō; when he notices you’re sad, his first response is alright what the fuck who messed up. he immediately blames someone else, and if he’s right, he’ll only get really agitated. just giving everyone the side eye from where you can’t see as he walks the two of you, your hand in his tight. if it’s not someone specific, he’ll just hum thoughtfully and then nod, before pulling you away somewhere private and just sitting you down and saying “talk.” very, very good listener. i can’t stress this enough. as you’re speaking he’s already thinking of a million different ways to help you solve your problem. walks with you as he traces your hands and just quietly tells you all the solutions.

aran ojiro; oh my god as a boyfriend he ticks all the boxes. he’s great at communicating, always satisfies your needs, is trustworthy and trusts you. the list goes on. immediately knows when you’re off/sad, and just smiles softly as he takes your hand, kissing your knuckles and saying, “let’s go home, yeah?” at home, he makes you some calming tea, probably pulls out some cookies or brownies or biscuits (that HE made but we’re not gonna get into that) and just listens as you talk, whether it’s about why you’re sad or just in general. gives you honest advice, but also a lil biased bc he loves you hehe <3

[choco-exe]

the one where tsukishima and sakusa go too far with teasing their crush

anonymous asks:  Hiiiiii I LOVE ur writing, and I was wondering if I could request the haikyuu boys (whoever u think fits best) who constantly tease (borderline insult) their crush, who one day just breaks down from their harsh words and say to them something along the lines of “why do you hate me?”, and how the the haikyuu boys react to that. If possible, end with something fluffy 🥺? (Like a confession) TYSMMM ❤️❤️

a/n: hello! aww im glad you do :D wait i just realized you said to have the boys react to their crush saying why do you hate me- fuuuuu- ahem please forgive me for not reading the ask correctly ;w; i hope you still enjoy, nevertheless! and why did i write these long-

tw: mentions of self hate, kind of toxic behavior from sakusa

𝚝𝚜𝚞𝚔𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚖𝚊 . . .  🖉

  ☾ he’s gonna be meaner the more he likes you   ☾ like if he’s only realized he developed a crush on you, he’d treat you the same, but if it’s been weeks and you haven’t picked up the hint, he’s gonna be treating you like trash   ☾ you find him staring down at you with a dead eye stare   ☾ “what’s up, kei?” “you’re so short you look like a toddler” “..i’m the average height for a high schooler though-”   ☾ his comments about your height never got to you, but then he started to target other regions of yourself   ☾ like he’d give a rude remark about a low score you got on the quiz, or how you always look dead inside well he isn’t wrong   ☾ whenever he said something negative about you, you just shot back a counter and brushed it off   ☾ after a month of this going on, though, his words started to sting a bit   ☾ “hey kei-” “can’t you stay quiet for one second? it’s like you blab out words every chance you get”   ☾ imagine your surprise, since it was unusual of him to comment about you talking   ☾ and one of your biggest insecurities is being annoying to others; you knew you tend to ramble about things, and a nagging voice in the back of your mind was always telling you about how people around you would get fed up with it   ☾ did tsukki mean to say it like that? of course not; he was meaning to have a bit of humor in his statement   ☾ he just said it in such an annoyed tone and way that it made it seem like he was bothered by you talking   ☾ “..sorry, kei. my mind wandered for a bit..”   ☾ you figured that he just had a bad day, and you were over it after a full night of sleep i could really use that   ☾ the voice inside your head grew louder, however, and tsukishima’s comments didn’t help at all   ☾ “stop bothering me about the homework; cant you see i’m busy? ugh, fine, take my notes if you’re that stupid-”   ☾ “if you want attention, listen to this playlist. it should satisfy your longing for voices; i need to study for a test now”   ☾ it got to the point where your mind was yelling at you about being a nuisance, and the final piece you needed to break just so happened to be during a practice match..

“You did great, blocking them all, Tsukki!” You exclaimed, flashing him a grin as you pass him his water bottle and towel. In all honesty, you were forcing your smile so hard, it began to hurt your jaw. “I could’ve blocked better if someone wasn’t screaming the whole time,” the middle blocker said, wiping sweat off his forehead. You had been passing out water bottles to the other players, but you stopped dead in your tracks when his words hit your ears. “Y/N-chan..?” Shimizu asked worriedly, eyeing your expression that Tsukishima couldn’t see. The said blonde took off his goggled to switch them out with his regular glasses. “It was just a practice match; getting hyped up wasn’t exactly the brightest idea your mind conjured up.” Putting his glasses on after wiping the lenses, he looked down at you to see your tear ducts brimming with your sadness. “..huh..?” You touched your face as a tear slid down your cheek. The other club members looked at you in concern. “Ah- don’t worry, everyone..” You wave your hands frantically as Daichi and Sugawara stare disapprovingly at Tsukishima. “It’s nothing to worry about. I’m just gonna.. step outside for a bit.” You forced another smile out onto your face, then quickly scampered out of the gym. The silence was so thick, you could slice it with a sword. Four-Eyes clearly didn’t expect you to be that emotional over his statement, as his face was filled with a small mixture of concern and confusion. He ran after you, shoving his things in his hands to Yamaguchi and leaving the rest of the team shocked into standing still. You had fled to a nearby bench, where you collapsed onto and shoved your face into your hands, desperately trying to stop your tears from shedding. How stupid, you thought. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Look what you did; you made the team worry about you, and they’re all going to resent you the moment they find out the reason behind your crying. “Y/N.” Jolted out of your thoughts, you looked up to find Tsukishima staring down at you with an unreadable expression. Almost immediately, your face became flooded with streams of tears. You quickly looked down at your lap, fidgeting with your hands. “I-I’m sorry for talking so much, Tsukki, I’ll try to keep my thoughts to myself-” “Shut up, Y/N.” He interrupted. You sighed and calmed your breathing. “This is what I’m talking about, Tsukishima.” You muttered, putting your face in your hands once again. “I’m just a pest to everyone; anyone I encounter will automatically hate me-” “Stop insulting yourself, dammit.” The middle blocker clenched his fists in anger. “You aren’t a nuisance, and you most definitely aren’t one to be hated on- I know I can be a bit of an asshole sometimes, but did it really affect you that much-” You slowly took your face out of your hands to see the blonde crouching, staring up at you. “'Did it really affect you that much?’ What do you think?! God, it really seems like you don’t consider my feelings at all, Tsukishima! I’ve been suspecting that you hate me, but why-?!” Said boy quickly clasped your hands in his, surprising you greatly. His usual expressionless face was morphed into one in a slight panic. “It’s because I like you, idiot!” Taking a moment to process his words, your whole face flushed a scarlet-red. “What?” The tips of Tsukishima’s ears were dusted with a soft coral-pink hue. “You heard me. I won’t repeat myself.” He averted his eyes from yours, squeezing your hands in nervousness. “I-” You were internally melting inside; who would’ve thought the salty beanpole would like someone like you? “But you would always push me to the side! Telling me you were busy and such!” Tsukishima stared at you like you were the biggest dumbass in the world. “I gave you my notes because I knew you didn’t have the energy to take them in class, and the playlist was a collection of songs I thought would suit you. Are you that dense?” “Who are you calling dense?!” You replied hastily. “And for your information, I haven’t given you my answer yet! Let go of my hands, and I’ll tell you, okay?” The middle blocker leaned in close to your face with his dead eye gaze. “It’s an agreement or disagreement, Y/N. What is your response?” You leaned back into the bench, but Tsukishima followed with your movements. “Um- I-” Your words crossed with each other, the lack of personal space making your head spin. “Yes?” Satisfied, the lamppost removed his hands from yours and flicked your forehead. “Simple as that, shortcake. If you want to freeze to death outside, that’s fine by me.” He began to walk back to the gym. “Wha- I’m not short!” You exclaimed, running after the four-eyes. “Also, I’m not the one who’s been sweating profusely for the past hour, so speak for yourself!” Tsukishima gently smiled as he heard you rapidly firing back at his comment. Looks like she’s back to her usual self. 𝚜𝚊𝚔𝚞𝚜𝚊 . . .  🖉

  ✤ obviously he’s gonna be commenting about your hygiene 24/7   ✤ the fact that he’s developed a crush on you doesn’t help, either; it means that you should be extra clean if he were to date you   ✤ and of course he has to remind you almost every hour of the day; whether it be by text or in person   ✤ now, you didn’t mind him checking up on you every couple of days, but every hour??   ✤ you’re convinced that sakusa has had some sort of trauma in the past, fighting with germs ever since he was a child okay not really.. unless?   ✤ he doesn’t even do this to the other people he’s acquainted with; you’ve asked koromi about it, and he says sakusa just sprays him with holy water a disinfecting solution    ✤ now you’re confused as to why you’re getting special treatment from him, when you two aren’t as close as him and his cousin   ✤ so you personally went to his class to ask him about it   ✤ “hey kiyoomi, why do you remind me to be clean every hour that you’re awake?” “because you shouldn’t have a single germ on you.” “but it’s literally the same message every time; at least make it seem more interesting” “cleaning yourself should be simple, not complicated”   ✤ you got fed up with it as another week went by, which is understandable, since this clean freak was spamming your phone hour after hour without missing a single text   ✤ the fact that sakusa was willing to put effort into reminding you about your hygiene was kind of sweet, but the same message every. single. damn. time. was annoying you like hell   ✤ and when you tell him to stop and that you already know how to get rid of germs, he gave you a disgusted look   ✤ this had to be one of the most nasty expressions he had ever made, because you stood paralyzed to the floor   ✤ “i have been reminding you for your own good, y/n. why don’t you just appreciate what i do for you, instead of complain about it?”   ✤ your mouth stayed shut, your tongue feeling as though it was glued to the top of your mouth   ✤ “don’t mention anything like this again”   ✤ you meekly nodded, and he strolled out the classroom   ✤ the moment he was gone, you collapsed onto the floor out of fear, shivering as you replayed the scene again and again in your head   ✤ the main question that circled your head was: why was he acting so controlling?   ✤ the night after, you texted sakusa, and asked him to meet up with you at your favorite spot   ✤ surprisingly, he complied. and you were waiting for awhile by the time he got there..

“Sakusa, hi!” You greeted your friend with a small but warm smile. The ace frowned; it was unlike you to call him by his last name. In fact, it had been months since you’ve said his name with such coldness in your voice. “..why did you call me out here?” He questioned in a low tone. Your eyes grew dark as you thought about what to say to him. “I wanted to talk to you about what happened yesterday. I feel as though we need to.” Sakusa’s own eyes narrowed as you spoke each word. “Are you still going to complain about my reminders to you?” Shaking your head, you stared at your feet while hugging your arms to your chest. “Of course not, I heard what you told me to do. I just.. wanted to know why you got so angry, is all.” The jet-black haired boy stared down at you, furrowing his eyebrows as he tried to remember what specifically happened the day before. “I don’t know what you’re remembering, Y/N, but I wasn’t angry in the slightest. Are you sure you aren’t thinking of another memory of yours?” Your head snaps up when he said that he wasn’t angry. “Yes, I’m very sure.” You firmly say. “Maybe you don’t think you seemed angry, but you were downright furious. It was.. kind of terrifying.” “Are you saying I was out of control yesterday?” “No, just..” You subconsciously hugged your arms tighter to your body, trying to make yourself as small as possible. “..intimidating.” Sakusa tilted his head, his eyes narrowing. You found him intimidating? Just from a little conversation that happened because of you’re questioning ways? “I’m tired, and I’m sure you are, too,” you continued, not catching on that your friend was becoming annoyed with your talking. “Which is why I want to end this quickly. Sakusa, I have a life, too. As much as I appreciate what you do for me, I can take care of myself without your help-” “You’re repeating the same words you stated yesterday, just in different phrasing.” The germaphobe harshly cut in. “I said this once, but I will say it again, for your sake. I am doing this for your own good-” “-and I know what’s good for me and what isn’t, Sakusa!” You exclaimed, your arms no longer crossed. “I can make my own decisions! I’m not some dumb little kid you have to look after-” “Y/N-” “-so just drop this already! It doesn’t help anyone; it doesn’t help me, it doesn’t help you-” “Y/N.” Sakusa lost all patience. He towered over you, his hands clenched tightly into fists. You slightly shrink at his actions, your arms up in defense. The ace didn’t seem to notice your fear as he took a step forward. “You are crawling with so many germs, I can practically see them all over you. You are in no condition to be deciding on your hygiene, when you can’t even rid of the many dirt particles covering your skin.” He took another step forward, and you step back, unsure of what to do. Sakusa broke out of his anger when he heard a slight sob leave your lips. “Why do you hate me so much, Sakusa?!” You asked, pain laced into your voice. “I’m perfectly capable of not being dirty, can’t you see?! Why can’t you just leave me alone-” You used your sleeves to start wiping the tears away, although they doubled to replace the ones you removed. The ace hesitantly enveloped you in a hug, making you break down even more. “Sakusa- no- you’re gonna get germs on you-” You stammered, resisting the temptation to bury your face into his chest. “..I made you cry. I need to pay the consequences.” Said boy murmured, rubbing shapes onto your back. You continued to cry for a good 5 minutes, before slowly pushing him away. “..thank you.” You sniffled. “I know consequences has nothing to do with that. Why did you-?” “I like you, Y/N.” He cut you off, making your eyes widen. “The reason why I’d been constantly reminding you to wash up is because I thought I should date someone who was clean to the touch. That was wrong of me, so very wrong. I apologize, and it’s fine if you reject-” You shut him up with a kiss to his mask. “Are you traumatized yet?” You asked, trying to crack a smile. “That’s my revenge from yesterday.” Sakusa blinked multiple times before realizing what you did. “..I guess I deserved that. So is that a yes..?” You broke out into a beautiful, radiant smile this time, the moonlight making you glow even more than you already were. “Of course, Kiyoomi!”

[sylvie-writes]

Beautiful Just the Way You Are

word count: 1982

request: 

warnings: talks of negative self-image. please don’t read if this will upset you! 

a/n: this is part 5 of (undetermined) of me trying to finish requests that have been sent in ages ago. IM SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT. it’s been hard to write but hopefully these will do. please ignore any mistakes, I typed this a bit fast and didn’t really check.

Chris 

You and Chris were getting ready to go to one of his closest friend’s wedding. 

This would be the first time you would meet each other so making a good first impression was a must.

Chris had gone to pick up his suit from the dry cleaners and you were currently scouring through the four dresses your sister-in-laws had lended you. 

The wedding was a summer wedding and it was gonna be held on the beach. 

As of recently, the heat had gotten worse each day meaning you didn’t want to be stuck in a dress that caused you to sweat like a runner after 12 miles. 

Both of Chris’s sisters had noted this and unfortunately all four dresses before you were above the knee, something that made you uneasy.

It seemed that when you were going to meet people or attend public events, your insecurities crept up even more than usual and your mind would shove negative thoughts down your throat. 

You were gorgeous, no doubt, but with such poisonous thoughts of yourself, you couldn't see any beauty as your reflection stared back from the mirror.

The first dress was a lacy yellow v-neck dress. It slightly flared out to the sides and it complimented your figure beautifully.

The second dress was a black bodycon, which made you want to scream. While to the average eye, your curves flourished under this dress, all you could see was a belly and hips that you wanted gone.

The third and fourth dresses were similar with thin spaghetti straps and flowy bottoms which reminded you of a bell.  

Unbeknownst to you, Chris had come back sometimes in between trying on the second and third dress. 

He peeked through the door, admiring how amazing you looked. 

Chris kept thinking how lucky he was to have such a woman until he heard yells of anger that shook him from his daydream. 

That was when you tried on the last dress and the final straw was gone. 

Your anger turned into tears as you collapsed onto the food feeling nothing but pain and worthlessness. 

In seconds, Chris was on the floor with you, wrapping his arms around your front where your arms were held up to your eyes. 

He rocked you back and forth, shushing you gently. 

“(y/n), honey, speak to me. Tell me what I can do to help you?”

Words were worthless at this point and all Chris could make out was “dress.”

He put two and two together and realized that you were upset with the way you looked. 

For some time now, Chris knew this had been a problem, but he didn’t realize it would bubble up this badly.

He knew words of his compliments wouldn’t help at all because you’d just say that he was lying. 

All he wanted was for you to see yourself through his point of view because you were like an angel.

“Hey, love, listen to me.”

Chris removed your hands from your eyes and looked at you in the mirror. 

“You are stunning, always and forever. Your body does amazing things for you and for me.” He chuckled at the end causing you to laugh a bit, a sad smile on your face. 

“I know you don’t believe me, but I would never lie to you. I made you that promise all those years ago and I will keep it forever, you understand me?”

You nodded just wanting to shrug this whole embarrassing experience off. You were never one to want people to see you like this because it felt like you were vying for attention when you weren’t.

“No, (y/n), I want you to say.”

Rolling your eyes, you replied, “Yes, I know, Chris.” 

He smiled and kissed your temple, “There’s my girl. Now c’mon, let's keep this dress on and I’ll help you with your makeup.

Ransom

You and Ransom were at one of Harlan’s publishing parties.

The family was up to their usual shenanigans leaving you and Ransom to sip on one too many drinks to stay interested.

One Joni walked away after trying to sell you some of her face moisturizer that cost more than the largest bag of dog food, Ransom snuck up behind you and led you to the garden, away from the sight of any house guests.

“How about we sneak away and take a dip in the pool?” His eyebrows raised teasingly and it was hard to resist such an offer.

“But Ransom, I don’t have a swimsuit!” You motioned to your maxi dress that was too pretty to damage with chlorine. 

You set your drink down on the cement bench and went to sit beside it before Ransom grabbed your hand and smirked. 

“Fine by me, here, simple fix!” 

In seconds, Ransom slipped off your dress, not even with a tear which was shocking from his usual animalistic movements. 

This left you standing in your simple undergarments, yet feeling more naked than actually being so. 

Ransom placed a kiss on your head before jumping into the pool in his boxers and nothing more.

He seemed ever so happy, waving his arms for you to jump in as he shook his now mop-like hair, now looking like a wet dog. 

Instead, you were sitting quietly on the ledge of the pool, arms wrapped around your waist trying to cover every inch of your exposed body. 

You felt so terrible like the sight Ransom would see would be so repulsive because that was exactly what you were thinking. 

When Ransom noticed that you were frozen in your spot and zoned out on some dragonfly floating in the pool, he swam closer. 

Ransom placed his hands on your thighs and looked up to see tears running down your nose and cheeks, dropping onto your lap.

At his touch, you involuntarily pushed him away and Ransom respected your space, floating back a bit. 

“Angel, what’s wrong?” 

“Ransom, I don’t want to be out here like this!”

You were on the verge of yelling, but instead kept your voice at a harsh whisper.

“Are you afraid someone will see us because (y/n) I can assure you they won’t. Plus, they’ve seen worse happen in this pool, trust me.” Ransom laughed, but you didn’t and he picked up on this, deciding to remain serious for the rest of the conversation.

“No it’s not that. I don’t want YOU to see me like this!”

The man swimming in front of you was in shock at such negative words coming from your mouth. 

He looked at you as an absolute goddess and he often wondered why a beauty like you would stay with a mess like him.

Sure he was gorgeous on the outside, but you were both inside and out.

“You’re just saying that because you feel like you have to, Ransom.”

You huffed and looked the other way, not wanting to even glare at him. 

Ransom laid his head on your lap in defeat.

“What do you want me to do? Worship you? Because I will! Oh (y/n), have mercy on me with your beauty! You are just so-” 

At this point, Ransom was speaking as loud as possible and he knew he was getting on your nerves.

You playfully rolled your eyes, “OKAY OKAY.  I BELIEVE YOU. Will you just hush now!?” 

Ransom looked up with a devious glimmer in his eyes, before he pulled you into the pool and you squealed loudly. 

“I think you are the one who should hush now, missy!”

Andy 

Andy had just gotten off from work and you had just finished making a surprise dinner. 

He was delighted at the sight of homemade chicken pot pie along with two bottles of old fashioned soda, a small tradition between the two of you.

You both settled down to watch a movie with your plates of chicken pot pie.

Andy had picked a movie that you’d never seen before and within five minutes your happy mood had morphed into insecurity. 

Turning, you saw Andy intently watching the movie as the most perfect woman appeared on screen and the negativity sprawled from your mind, turning nothing into something. 

While Andy just innocently enjoyed the movie, your inner saboteur told you that he was more so enjoying the sight of the gorgeous woman on screen. 

After all he had been stuck with you, so you didn’t blame him. 

Well he wasn’t actually stuck with you, but that's what you told yourself. 

You told yourself that he just felt bad for you and that is why he stayed. 

Andy noticed that halfway through the movie, you were uncharacteristically quiet and a sour pout on your face. 

“Gosh, imagine looking like that! That would be a dream.” A bitter laugh ended your snide comment and Andy immediately shut off the tv.

“Why did you do that?!” 

Andy just shook his head, “Because of what you said! (y/n), is there something you’d like to tell me?” 

“All I said was that I wish I looked like her. What’s wrong with that?” You nonchalant shrugged and turned away from his hard stare. 

“Honey, I can read you very well and I can tell that wasn’t just a joke.” 

You were quiet and Andy continued to pry. He pulled you tight to his chest, murmuring whispers of praise causing you to break and cry quietly.

“See, even when you cry, you are pretty.” 

Steve

The funny thing about insecurities is that it can turn someone into an absolute mess or monster. 

In this instance it was both.

You and Steve were at a cafe, one that you had been visiting together for years now.

Today, it seemed that the cafe had hired new employees as at least four faces you didn’t recognize were waltzing around the kitchen. 

It didn’t bother you until a complete beauty who introduced herself as Cara waited at your table. 

At first it was like the green eyed monster had crawled out of you and you felt shameful all until gut intuition showed you that she was being a bit too friendly with Steve. 

Little glances from across the room with flirty waves. At one point you swore that she winked at him. 

Her tone would instantly change anytime she talked to you and that made your blood boil.

Steve noticed your change in attitude as a borderline scary scowl worked its way on your lips. 

You were burning holes into the back of her head as you thought about how perfect the two would be together. 

Steve tried to nudge your half of your sandwich to catch your attention as he was clueless to what was running through your head. 

“Hey, doll. Why don’t you eat your sandwich? The flies are crazy and I can’t keep them away for long!” He swatted at the nagging flies, laughing at how the tiny creatures were defeating him, Captain America. 

You didn’t hear any of what he said and instead mean words that never once came out of his mouth.

“Why don’t you go be with her. She’s so perfect for you anyway.”

You stood from the table and stormed out the door, the tiny bell above it mocking you.

Steve was utterly confused at this random outburst. 

All he had mentioned was the sandwich, nothing about a girl, especially the waitress, whatever her name was.

Thinking back, Steve realized that she was flirting with him, but he was just so used to being friendly that he didn’t notice that he had put up such an illusion.

Especially one that hurt you.

The only word he was able to get out was “what” before he rushed out behind you.

He grabbed your arm and spun you to face him, not angry as he knew exactly how being insecure felt. 

“(y/n), you are the only one who is perfect for me.” 

You just fell into his arms, remembering that you were truly the only one for Steve.

[sapphire-innit]

MD is a trip in SO many ways lmao

HI!! So it's been a while but I was feeling sad about some minecraft boys and it finally kickstarted me enough energy to do this again. For those who haven’t seen this before everything is tagged “dream smp liveblog” if you wanna look back.

I was thinking about rewatching some of the exile vods again to get back into the right headspace but honestly I’m gonna ride this wave while I can and jump right back into it. Maybe when I catch up fully I’ll go back and watch them all in a marathon and see how much I can make myself cry, who knows

Intro out of the way here we go! VOD: Tommy Speaks to Mexican Dream in Exile

(rp): oh man I forgot how fucked up his skin was…. And hes drowning again

He’s also lashing out at people in chat and then pulling back “Ranboo: are you alright man” ahhh buddy YOU KNOW HES NOT

….You know. Some of the Dread HAS faded but it STILL sucks when Dream logs in.

“And Tubbo hasnt spoke to me…” :(

But hes still trying!!! Hes gonna make a path!!

Lol what is this melon monstrosity lol the youtube praise Tommy just screamed lmaoo

….Dream YOU can get out of VC 2 fuck off

….just the casual “oh yeah sorry” while he blows up the armor….

“DId anyone come to see you while I was gone” I see you, you obsessive fucker

“Weve become better friends” :/

HI MEXICAN DREAM WHAT AN INTRO THEYRE JUST STARING AT HIM LMAO

Yes BULLY HIM MD BULLY HIM

“WHICH ONES HOTTER” cursed cursed cursed

Lol the tone is so absurd Im having a good time

cc!Dream taking the time to pinpoint the particular restaurant its from lmaoo this man is funny

Lol Mexican Dream just chasing Dream away with Spanish YEAH GET EM MD

Tommys so excited to have someone who might live with him omg

“Borderline my owner” ….

…,,,look I just needed a short hand ok Mexican Dream is too long to type lol

,,,,,I dont know how to process Mamacita asdfsdfsd

SOMEHOW GOT MORE CURSED

Cant believe this is canon lore because it gets. SAD?? What is happening right now

This must have been a great tension breaker for people watching live though. A Nice break. Honestly I have mixed feelings about this being my first stream back lol

…..what are those maps huh? Old Memories huh? Tommy seems actually a bit embarrassed lmao

TUBBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TUBBO!!!!!

Asfsdfsdfsdfsdfsdfds these fuckign pictures jesus omg

Somehow this would be more sad if Tommy wasn't blowing out his mic fake crying lmao

…..hey fuck girl Dream though

Is girl Dream canonically Dream or a different character?

“You two are the happiest couple I know” … F for the dream smp where no relationship survives lol Love is Dead

….my heart was racing while Tommy was hiding the rest of the Tubbo pictures…

“Not on my stream you better not!” afdsfdsfsdfsd

Rip Mexican Dream lol Quackity dies to mobs a lot doesn’t he

………..I just got the walls joke F F F

……hi Dream you fucker

HEY BITCH, HEY BITCH BOY!!! YEEEEE TOMMY GET HIM

….. This is why Dream kills MD isn’t it

OUCH DIRECTLY AFTER THAT

MEXICAN DREAM DID JUST JUMP IN FRONT OF TOMMY JEEZ

….. Welp this is turning serious, Tommy is literally trying to distract Dream from chasing MD

The fucking decapitation joke asdfsdfsdf

OH MD WITH THE REAL GEAR!!!

….well that was short lived. As was Mexican Dream, Rest in Pieces I guess

“That was my last friend on the server. And that was his last death” “.......” “WELL WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO TODAY ~ :D”

“I never thought I’d see the day where Mexican Dream is canonically dead”

….. The serious tone is back for sure ….. Its staring into lava and gaslighting time

Literally just killed his friend and Dream already getting Tommy to say they’re friends…

“He died of a drug overdose” “I watched you kill him” “Noo he died of natural causes” >:(

cc!Tommy really canonizing this just to twist the knife

...hes just standing in the fire :(

………begging him for company.. “I don’t think I have very long left” …….

At least Drista will be fun?

“Its fine, its really his rules now” “After tomorrow, then I think its over”.... This is the pillar isn’t it. The pillar is happening soon

“Tommy can you stop going insane please?” - FUNDY PLS LMAO

Strange interlude with Lazar… obviously Tommy is lashing out but I also feel like there is a bit of back-handedness to his interactions as well. Maybe the only one ACTUALLY only reaching out because of pity..?

Well that was a strange and oddly sad interlude. The middle was just the wildest of rides, but the end still managed to ground it back, mostly. 13 did NOT HURT in that regard honestly lol. I feel like I’ve definitely lost some momentum by splitting things up like this -- my recommendation to anyone watching is Definitely to shotgun it if you can do so safely. Its such a well written arc, even and up to including silly streams like this, and its a shame not to have watched it all at once.

STILL! Looking forward to seeing Drista, that little chaos godling has grown on me quite a bit, not least of all BECAUSE she’s a chas godling with creative mode lol. I’ve also heard thats the other “break” exile stream, so probably a bit more lighthearted (not least of all bc idk how much Drista the person actually knows and or cares about her brother’s block game role play canon lmao)

[whosaskingwrites]

Fickle Love (Akaashi x Reader x Bokuto)

A/N: So this was supposed to be for Akaashi's birthday...whoops. But its here now lmao ngl I just kinda wrote with no idea in mind and this is what ended happening so yeah. Hope you enjoy and happy late birthday to Akaashi 💞

Details: 7.8 pages 2,758 words

Date: December 8th, 2020

Warnings: Mentions of poly relationships I guess, angst if you squint, Gn! Reader not really a warning but I didn't know where else to put it

Theme: Akaashi wasn't the best when it came to love. Having a habit of ignoring you and burying himself in work. Leading you to turn to Bokuto which leads to some revelations and a question for Akaashi.

Love was a fickle thing Akaashi knew. People fell in and out of love all the time so he never trusted love. He didn't want love he wanted to avoid it. Avoid the heartbreak he was positive would follow. But instead he met you a bright-eyed student in his class. It took almost nothing for you to mesh yourself into his life completely and making yourself comfortable like you belonged there.

It took even less time for you to weasel your way into his heart and make yourself comfortable. Only a year after you'd met and he asked you out deciding that love may not have been as fickle as he thought.

Four years later and he knew he had been wrong love was indeed fickle and his proof was in the sight across the street from him. There you stood hands clasped around Bokuto's as he kissed your cheek. He waved before running off and Akaashi rushed home preparing for the worst.

A few hours later you slipped through the door "Keiji? I'm home!" You called hearing the soft pads of feet come up to you. Love was fickle he knew you were going to lie when he asked his next question "Hey Y/n. What did you do today?" You suprised him though. Only after you'd gotten over the shock of being called Y/n and not darling.

"I went to lunch with Bokuto today," You said happily slipping off your coat and hanging it up. He certainly didn't expect you to be honest about what you did today. He loosened up a tad bit in response "Oh? Why?" You laughed at his question "Bo needs contact with us you know that. But you haven't been answering his calls so we went shopping and I filled him in on how you were. Afterwards I treated him to lunch as a thank you," You smiled up at him eyes bright with nothing hidden.

"Yeah? Did you guys hold hands so he wouldn't lose you?" He joked and you shook your head "He grabbed my hands at the end of lunch because I promised him I'd bring you next time," you had laughed remembering the incident. Relief flooded him then no of course you weren't cheating on him that'd be insane. You were as loyal as Bokuto was plus he couldn't keep a secret to save his life and neither could you. He relaxed as he realized how wrong he was to assume something.

"Im sorry," He said suddenly while you tilted your head in confusion. "What for?" You had asked before Akaashi leaned down and pressed a kiss to your forehead. "I forgot to give you your welcome home kiss," He rolled off casually hiding the fear he'd felt earlier. This fear had only continued to grow as the days went on but it was his fault anyway.

_______________________________________________________

"Keiji are you free today?" "No I'm busy," "Oh...Okay," 

"Keiji we haven't gone on a date in weeks!" "Im not stopping you from going out somewhere," "I want to go out with you though,"

"Keiji-" "Im busy Y/n,"

Two weeks this cycle continued as you walked to Akaashi's at home office. Two taps against the door and you opened it "Kei-" His eyes snapped up frustration was on his face but he took a breath before it faded. "What?" You sighed turning to leave again "...Im going out to lunch with Kotaro again. He says hi by the way," You left the room quickly and Akaashi blinked 'Kotaro?' Surely you meant Bokuto but there was no way you two were on a first name basis it'd only been a few days since the last lunch.

His eyes landed on the calender and he froze what had only been a few days to him was actually two weeks but still too short for a first name basis. You'd only know Bokuto for a few months and he'd known the male for years and still never used his first name.

He sighed returning to his work. He'd question you when you got back from lunch he didn't have the time to right now. Nor did he know your location so going to find you was like a needle in a haystack. A very big bustling city of a haystack and the needle being you with a slightly bigger needle in the shape of a volleyball player next to you.

He continued work for a few hours before his office door was thrown open. He expected many things when he looked up but he didn't expect Bokuto. But what got him was the fact that Bokuto was furious it was a look he'd never seen before on him. The glare he had on his face was enough to make Akaashi freeze. 

He knew Bokuto was typically happy like a dog but right now he felt fearful since now he staring down an angry German Shepard who was defending their owner. It was silent for a long moment before Bokuto spoke. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" Akaashi felt his blood turn to ice at the tone Bokuto used.

"W-what?" He cursed silently at his own stutter Bokuto would latch onto the weakness he showed. "Whats today Akaashi?" Bokuto had asked in that same icy tone. It was so razor sharp and cold that Akaashi was convinced the room cooled and ten degrees.

"...Its December 1st Bokuto-san," He elected to answer the question instead of ask why Bokuto didn't call him Keiji. Based on the mood Bokuto was displaying he didn't expect to be called Keiji. However supplying the date only seemed to rile him up more as his glare sharpened.

Akaashi shivered involuntarily at it "Are you forgetting something?" He barked out and it was then that Akaashi realized Bokuto hadn't blinked yet. "No," he was confident in the answer. Your birthday wasn't until b/d and his was in four days. Bokutos had already passed but said male wouldn't have been mad at him. Sad maybe but not mad.

"Oh really? Then tell me why Y/n is at my place crying because you forgot that today is your anniversary," Bokuto had stepped towards him in anger and Akaashi took in involuntarily step back in fear. "They're at your place?" Akaashi asked and Bokutos jaw clenched.

"Yeah. And they are going to stay there until you sort yourself out," Bokuto growled turning and slamming the door closed with enough force to crack it. Akaashi stood frozen for a few extra moments trying to regain his composure after being afraid. He shook his head as he processed Bokuto's last sentence.

No you'd always come back to him, even if a fight had broken out between him and you, you would always come back. You had to come back he was your fiancé and the wedding was going to be in the upcoming w/f/s/s so he continued to work shaking off his encounter with Bokuto that had manage to worm a tiny bit of fear back into his heart.

__________________________________________________

Akaashi didn't fully leave his office again until December 5th. He'd left it plenty of times before then but only for something quick eat or the bathroom or something to drink. In these moments he never bothered to look around the place but now on his birthday he did.

He expected to be greeted by your sparkling voice like you had done for the past four years but instead the house was silent. "Y/n?" He called out walking around the house was still perfectly clean. The last time he could recall hearing you was on the first with the vacuum running and the patter of your feet running around.

Since then he realizes the house had been silent except for his movements. As he walked into the dining room something glinted on the table in the early morning light. When he turned to look he froze there was your engagement ring. The thin band of silver sat there almost mockingly on a yellow sticky note.

He picked up the note and written on it were a few simple words. 'They aren't coming home - Bokuto' his brain filled in the missing words Bokuto had told him a few days ago "Not until I fix myself," he mumbled thumbing at the sticky in his hands. He knew what Bokuto meant he'd been borderline ignoring you for weeks to work.

Thoughts of your anniversary had left his mind but he didn't think it was that bad until right now. Forgetting had been the final nail in the coffin for you but he still had a chance. You weren't gone forever just temporarily misplaced. He rushed to shower and go buy flowers his brain running a mile a minute trying to figure out how to get you back and apologize.

He felt nervous and he was unsure of why until he remembered where you had taken up residence. Bokuto had never been scary to him, just a bright ball of happiness but the fear Bokuto had instilled in him a few days ago had lingered, and he was about to walk right into the lion's den.

__________________________________________________

He couldn't see you as he approached the door. Maybe you were tucked away upstairs or in a place the windows didn't show but he'd seen Bokuto. The male was pacing clearly on edge and definitely dangerous but Akaashi would have to face him sooner or later so with a shaking hand he knocked.

Only half a second later the door swung open and Bokuto stood there mouth set in a hard line. Akaashi fought to supress the shiver that wanted to trail up his spine. "Is Y/n here?" He asked and once again cursed himself for sounding so meek. It was just Bokuto he wouldn't hurt him the man couldn't even hurt a fly! Although that sentiment didn't hold much when he felt like he was staring down the loaded barrel of a gun.

"Yes," Bokuto answered after a few beats of silence. His eyes raked over Akaashi's form judging him and seeing if he was ready to have Y/n back. "Can I see them? I'd like to talk," He was definitely playing with fire when Bokuto looked back up at his eyes. "About what?" He asked lowly Akaashi noted that Bokuto was staying quiet which meant you had to be downstairs. "I'd like to apologize for ignoring them and forgetting our anniversary," Bokuto nodded once before swinging the door closed.

He blinked in mild suprise "Bo-Bokuto-san?" He questioned wondering where he went wrong that warranted the door being closed. He was about to knock again when the door opened revealing you. Your h/c hair was slightly messy and e/c eyes half lidded in sleep.

What Akaashi didn't like was the MSBY jersey that swallowed you figure. The number 12 emblazoned on the front and long enough to cover your thighs. He couldn't tell if you were wearing pants but he hoped you did. You never walked around his house like this unless it was after a fun night but he couldn't assume things. Not now and he especially couldn't accuse you of cheating when Bokuto was on the staircase right behind you.

He could see that the golden eyed male was poised to attack when the conversation would start heading south. You tilted your head in confusion "Hello Akaashi," You had mumbled and he did flinch then. No pet names or his first name no, you had decided on formal. "Hi darling," He whispered the pet name but you merely shook your head.

"Why are you here?" The genuine confusion on your face made Akaashi feel a lot worse about everything. "Im here to apologize and seeing as its my birthday id like my present from you to be going on one date with me," He said slowly "Please," was tacked on as an afterthought. You turned your head eyes meeting Bokuto's and Akaashi hated the jealousy that crawled up his spine when his eyes softened.

"Um actually Akaashi I wanted to talk to you about something," Your hands had balled into fists tightly gripping the hem of the shirt you wore. A nervous habit you had whenever something scared you. He felt his heart drop in response to those words and you shook your head. "No no! It's nothing bad- well I guess that depends on how you feel about it," You were quick to try and sooth him and Akaashis heart swelled at the fact that right now even if you weren't getting along you still worried about him.

He didn't even realize you had led him inside until he was on the couch. His eyes trailed over you figure as you sat across from him. The shirt rode up enough exposing part of your thigh and Akaashi could see the hem of a pair of shorts. They followed their path until his eyes rested on the new gold band around your ring finger. It was decorated in a series of small gems that were the same blue as his eyes and he took a deep breath.

"What is it?" He lightly questioned when the silence began suffocating him. Bokuto was behind him somewhere he felt the stare being burned into his back. The second this conversation possibly turned south Bokuto was ready to jump in. "Well...I was wondering how you felt about the two of us becoming um...three of us?" You looked down afterwards hands nervously ringing together.

"...three of us?" He wanted more clarification were you implying a kid or something else? You hummed meeting his eyes before they flickered to the male that was behind him 'oh' it pieced itself together then. You were implying a poly relationship with him and Bokuto. He must have been quiet for too long since your hands began rubbing at your sides.

He scrambled for an answer he knew he was unbothered by it but this was...The two of you were only a few months away from getting married and you wanted to add Bokuto into the mix? Now of all times? He took a shuttering breath as he thought.

"Well...I guess I have to call the restaurant and tell them to change the reservation for three people then," he offered a small smile and your head whipped up. "Really?" You whispered and he could only supply a nod. 

"Yeah now when I'm busy with work the both of you can harass me into taking a break," it was a poor attempt at a joke but you had laughed anyway. He heard a chuckle from behind him as well and he breathed out a sigh of relief. "Keiji are you sure? I don't wanna make you uncomfortable or anything...," you trailed off and he smiled "im sure but are you sure about Bokuto? Hes a little chaotic," He asked "Hey!" Bokuto had an immediate reaction to the accusation.

You laughed reaching out and taking his hand "So is it a fancy dinner place?" You asked as Bokuto came over to take your free hand. He watched your thumb move back and forth across Bokutos hand a comforting gesture and he noticed the minute shake of Bokuto's hand. Unconsciously he reached out with his free hand and took Bokuto's which seemed to startle him slightly as wide gold eyes met his.

Akaashi gave a light squeeze and Bokuto settled with a sigh. "Its the restaurant I originally proposed at so yeah I'd go with fancy," he answered after a second. "You're making me get dressed up for your birthday dinner? Despicable really," you dramatically sighed and he found himself laughing. "Well I suppose we don't have to go since you've already given me the best present I could ask for today," He smiled tilting his head to the side and looking at Bokuto who was sitting cross-legged on the floor with a look of concern on his face.

"You alright Bo?" He looked up at the unfamiliar nickname eyes meeting Akaashi's once again. "M'fine just...I don't own a suit," He said quietly. The silence that stretched afterwards for a long moment before you broke it. "Kotaro what do you mean you don't own a suit you're a professional athlete!" "It wasn't an issue until now!" He shouted back love was fickle yes but as he watched you and Bokuto interact he knew

It was fickle but he wouldn't trade it in for anything.

[rose-blooms-red]

@universes-mystery you are a menace to society and I am in....so much pain

anyways, long story short, I have been convinced to make an updated fic post thingy after someone went through my blog and made me look at my old fics :’) 

So!! uhh yeah Ro Fic Hype Post take 2 lmao, i have too many fics at this point so im just gonna link some that made me happy or just that i remember having a grand time writing.

Star Wars

“Be the Rarepair content you want to see in the world”: Listing all the ones from this series would take too long. Just know that these were all a joy to write and that there is a Large Variety lol.

not something that you put to bed: my first foray into soft wars! lmao, i was super nervous with this one lol but I do still like it more than i usually like my fics! And i was happy with how this one came out. It’s Edee squad centric, specifically Neyo and Fox interaction and yeah, there’s a reason i joke that my brand is trauma recovery dkjfskjdf.

don’t break the bottle: my second go at soft wars and I do still like this one, it’s Cody and Neyo centric, around Cody getting Neyo’s pledge and dealing with leftover stuff from Priest’s training. There’s things i’d def try and do better but, its nice and not as bad as i feared nkjdfjnd.

sins of the father: this is a second person Boba Fett character study and I do actually still adore it. it kicked off it’s own series actually, that I cowrite with @graaaaceeliz and has expanded far past what i thought would be just a tiny little oneshot to put my boba and jango feelings. It was a fun adventure into writing in a writing perspective i dont use much and helped me get a bit of a grasp on both Boba and Jango

and the whisper in your head goes quiet: another 2nd person Boba fic, made people mad at me jdfnsjkf. Includes the hc that Boba had a chip and it malfunctioned and Jango had the Kaminoans remove it.

the hum in the air (and the gentle love): was really nice to write and i do still love how soft it is,though there are things i’d def change. It’s a soft little codywan oneshot with poetry.

gentling the edges: Neyo and babies, im just...so soft, there is so much soft

little darling: Fox and babies, because i am so soft still over babies and the older clones okay.

you will be alone, always: was a fun one, made some people cry lol. Obi-Wan centric, canon compliant, with hints of QP Codywan.

love or the lack of it: Bly and Neyo centric, lots of fun to write lol. Soft wars, and im still quite pleased with it. a bit heavy, heed the tags.

the art of the mind: Soft wars, Jet and Bacara Centric. i loved exploring them more honestly, i kinda wanna do something else with them.

Messing around in the soft wars sandbox: now that i think about it, just linking this series might be better XD a lot of the next few I was going to put are from here. It’s basically just all fics set within the Soft War’s AU by @thefoundationproject lol

(give me) something soft: one of my first fics in the Star wars fandom, It’s Kix/Agen and I’m still super soft over this pairing and writing this made me v soft.

the burning heat upon my back: another one of my first few fics in the star wars fandom, It’s an Anakin introspection type piece as I was trying to figure out how to write him and getting settled in the fandom.

like a lazy ocean (hugs the shore): Wingfic, Kit Fisto centric, hinted possible kit/monnk. This was just hilarious to write lmao.

calm your mind and quell your fears: Wingfic, Obi-Wan centric, soft, QP Codywan fluff.

name the child innocence: was fun, Wingfic, Jango Fett centric, it’s a lot heavier than the other wingfics tho, so heed the tags.

childhood (strong and full of foreboding): apparently i really like doing explorations on trauma and how the past can shape you and how you can shape yourself in spite of the past and things like that kjdsnkjsdf. It’s told in various Clone’s p.o.v and switches between Anakin and Obi-Wan’s Not Fun Childhoods.

hold your heart (be still): Ahsoka and Rex bonding! set in the same universe as childhood!

DC

the art of siblings is that sometimes you just wanna fight them: A lot of fun lol, batfam centric, the kids being Themselves and Dick is Exasperated lol

we lay here (for years or for hours): which is an introspection and sort of character study on dick that throws out any semblance of timeline or canon. trigger warnings for depressive and suicidal thought and major character injury

setting fire to our insides for fun (to distract our hearts from ever missing them): in which dick is sad, bruce is gone, and dick really just wants his dad, his sleep-deprived mind decides to be kind, because the world is not, this one made me sad

i have tried to hoard your love (and found it slipping through my fingers): a look at Jason and books, and the complex thing that is a childs need to be loved

fault lines: A fic about recovery and the difficulties, or; Dick Grayson and trauma, recovery, and his siblings. Something’s wrong with all of them but they work through it, eventually.

this one is a rough ride, still a WIP and it deals with a lot of heavy topics, flashbacks, trauma and discussions of the trauma, deaths, injuries, rape, broken relationships and dysfunctional ones, borderline abusive behaviour, talks about all of the above, and the healing process. Tread lightly with this one as it deals with heavy topics in it’s quest to say fuck you to certain dc writers.

Bnha

Shock: Kaminari feels, The dangers of electric quirks

Flicker: The Todoroki’s deserve better, Dabi is an angry child who misses his mama

All I’ve Ever Known: Genfic, Dabi is Touya, Fuck gender, Chronic pain, Touya/Dabi needs help

We go down swinging, My lovers and I: Shigadabihawks, Major Character Death, not a happy one folks.

[shyrose57]

2: Upon first glance, no. Though they do tend to avoid the subjects of parents or siblings, and also try their best to avoid conversations that lead into sharing their past. Their also not so pushing about knowing the brothers past relationships and their childhood. Ranya and Seth are the brothers parents! Ranya is their mom who is 20% enderman, and Seth is their dad who's fully human.

3: But is there any proof of it being bad for you? That's exactly what it is, its just Team Rocket but switched if that makes sense. Raq's trying so hard to capture Ran and now Ranbob, he's planning so many plans and coming up with so many unique ways to capture them. But the groups dumb shenanigans and the fact most of them just kinda flop around half the time SOMEHOW manage to foil every plan he has and its pissing him off. But now I also have a angst idea that features Raq getting his hands on a potion of blinding and using it. 

4: He was screaming because he was trying to escape the others and resorted to trying to make himself seem big and stronger than them, like a animal sometimes does to escape a predator. And also he was screaming because Cletus grabbed his arm and was trying to keep him from moving, and Ranbob's brain sadly registered the touch as painful. 

6: Benjamin does actually just carry around blankets, mostly just in case someone gets cold or someone gets wet and need to be dried off. But he also does carry a special blanket only for Ranbob, its a very fluffy blanket, is a bit heavy (which helps ground and reassure Ranbob), and is big enough to cover the top half of his body. But they don't carry around tea or anything for Ranbob to drink when he gets sad, mostly cause the times they tried to do that either it got spilt or Isaac drank it. 

10: I have developed the town a bit further. The town has a population of only 300 (may change though, but no matter what it's going to be a small town), and is situated in the Crater, where homes and business are built into the side of the Crater, with overlapping bridges, stairs, overhangings littering all around the Crater (if anyone is having problems imagining it tell me, I have some pictures I found that fit what I'm trying to describe pretty well). Wilburs decendent shall be called Lucia, and some residents of the town are Siren-the towns only blacksmith and armourer, also one of the most knowledgeable people in the town due to their great fascination with history, Adler-one of the only remaining Clerics that actually make all possible potions and even new ones at times, and almost freely gives them out, Atlas-the towns trouble maker, and the one who goes adventuring, but he also has a great interest in astrology, and can read the stars to figure out locations of things or upcoming events, Josh-He's just Josh, no one's quite sure what he does, Atlas suspects he has a secret mob grinder since he has so many mob parts and seems to have whatever someone needs, and Lucia insists that he's the one that does the communication and trading with big cities but no one believes him (spoiler, he's the redstone expert but since redstone isn't used a lot in the town he hasn't actually told anyone), Asidi-town guard, mostly just checks on the residents, though is also greatly defensive of his home, and Mripat-the towns mayor/leader, though she mostly lets people do what they want to do, its only when people want to build new things or have suggestions, or break a law does she actually act like a mayor/leader. The town itself doesn't have a set name yet but im thinking maybe Kelalen Kepungkur (Forgotten Past), but just Kelalen for short. And its mostly forgotten by other kingdoms and towns, because it doesn't belong to any certain kingdom, and due to them being forgotten, their incredibly nice and tight knit, but also suspicious of new comers. Infact Ran and Ranbobs groups where going to be chased out of the towns property until Lucia stepped in, saying how he recognizes the black and white skin. 

11: It is! He figured, hey the memory book seemed to help Ranboo, who says it won't help him? Though it only slightly helped him at first. Eventually he'll get hugs without pain, I promise you.

12: IN MY DEFENSE, you never told me not too.

13: Ok so this is the additional fluff, this is not canon to the story at all, as it just simply seems to out there to actually fit in the story. But anyway, I was thinking that upon returning to Mizu, Ranbob finds a hidden room. And in one of the rooms there's a sort of ghost box type thing, where people can hear and even see nearby ghosts (that is what immediately got it out of the story). So Ranbob manages to get the box to work, and when it finally starts up, the ghosts of his family is actually behind him cause they've been following him the whole time. At first Ranbob is horrified and quickly backs away from them, borderline breaking down crying at seeing them again, cause he's gotten overwhelmed with grief. At first the ghosts don't follow him, but suddenly Memi runs out after him, and Ranbob has to fight the instinct to protect himself, and instead leaves himself vulnerable to whatever they want to do to him (which he imagines is degradation and even hitting). But instead Memi just hugs him tightly and cries into him, saying how she missed Big Brother so much. And Ranbob can feel this, and this wasn't what he was expecting, so he's left shocked and frozen. Until Lias also approaches and hugs him too, saying how he's so sorry and how he missed him too. Then Seth and Ranya both join in on the hug, saying how their so sorry Ranbob had to suffer alone and how they failed him because they didn't protect them. Meanwhile Ranbob is shocked, but he soon gets over it and hugs them back just as tightly. Repeatedly saying how he's sorry and he didn't mean too, all while his family comforts him. In the end, they manage to convince Ranbob they have no harsh feelings towards him, comfort him, talk to him about what to do with Ran not trusting him, say how their so proud of Ranbob for growing so strong and breaking Dreams hold on him, and listen to Ranbob share stories of his haunting. 

2: First glance, huh? How about further glances? Also, how did Ran get so much Enderman blood in him if he had a human father and a mother with only 20% in her?

3: Yeah, actually, I think they have medical studies on it? Something about blood loss, or infection, maybe? Idk the specifics, anon.

Okay, so I’m not sure I read this right. The group’s shenanigans accidentally defeat his plans? Is that right? Or do his plans just flop on their own? Also, oof. Can’t wait to see how bad that goes. Which poor Ender boy is subjected to blindness?

4: Hahaha, ouch, ouch, ouch. So, like Endermen screaming? Also, he registers touch as painful? That’s...not good. Is that something that happens often, or just during his relapses?

6: Benjamin just carries around blankets. He’s a fluffy blanket dealer. You come to him looking even slightly in need of a hug, and he burritos you in blankets. Payment is self-care. 

Also, Isaac drinks it? Is he like a tea gremlin? Locates tea and drinks it no matter what?

10: Sounds like a lively little place! And quite frankly, I already love Lucia. For what reason do the townsfolk have towards being suspicious and chasing people off though? Have they had trouble before? Also, Lucia recognizes Ranbob as Ranboo’s descendant? Or just that he looks similar? How does everyone react to the sudden hostility, and then being allowed in?

12: EVERYONE KNOWS YOU DON’T ADMIT TO A CRIME, ANON, GOODNESS! Also, fair. Mean, cruel, and sadistic, but ultimately fair. I did not say not to. That is true.

(Still mean, how dare-)

13: Anon, how dare you call this fluff, just. This is so bittersweet, I’m literally crying. I can’t believe you’ve done this. 

[miastideclock]

Yang Jeongin Drabble, “Inside Beauty.”

@jhopesdimples​ hello! im a new skz and bts blog and i found yours and have been reading all ur skz stuff at the moment. can i request a jeongin drabble where the reader is insecure about being older and slightly bigger than him? preferably filled with angst but a happy ending? it’s okay if not! keep writing it’s so good! 💖

-

Word Count: 1790 Warnings: Eating disorder, but not really??? I don’t know, but just in case it might be triggering, sorry

-

It had been a long day, and you were happy that you could spend the rest of the day hanging out with your boyfriend and your friends. More often than not you found yourself at the Stray Kids dorm, hanging out with the boys and having fun. That was how you ended up falling for Jeongin, and luckily- he returned the favor. 

After months of begging to management, they finally lifted the dating ban for the group, making all of them go over the moon. That included you, as that meant you could go public with Jeongin, the love of your life. 

You knew you weren’t perfect, but Jeongin loved you despite that, and that made you fall for him even more. 

It was no secret that you were on the heavier side, and it probably didn’t help that you were also taller than him. But when you were with Jeongin, you instantly forgot all of that. Or at least until Jeongin’s leader, Chan, got a girlfriend for himself.

She was two years younger than him, about five inches shorter than him, and easing in on the skinny side. She was super nice, and never did you any harm, but she made you think. 

“Would Jeongin prefer it if I was like her? Younger, shorter and all around smaller?” But everytime the thought crossed your mind, you forced it out. He loved you like you were, and nothing could change that. But still, you found yourself thinking whenever you were at the dorm.

“Come sit on my lap.” “Let me give you a piggyback ride!” “You’re so tiny and cute!”

Things you heard on a daily basis, but they were never to you. It was Chan talking to his girlfriend, Lacey. They were super cute together, you had to admit- but it got a bit frustrating at times, always comparing yourself to her. 

After a while, you found yourself skipping meals, and walking the long way to work. You would suggest going for walks rather than watching movies like you always did. Jeongin didn’t notice it at first, and much like a puppy-dog was just excited to spend time with you, whether it was on the couch or going for a walk. He did however, notice when your mood had dropped over the last few weeks. At first he connected it to stress at work, and figured you would talk to him if you needed to- that much he trusted you on. But when you never spoke about it, and you never got any happier, he got concerned. 

You were on a walk the first time Jeongin asked. 

“Y/N, are you okay?” 

It had caught you off guard as he had cut himself off to ask you. You had originally talked about his upcoming schedule, but he figured work talk could wait until later. 

“Yeah, I’m good! Why’re you asking?” You lied through your teeth. You weren’t okay, but you couldn’t tell him. He wouldn’t understand. He had hundred of thousands of girl confessing their undying love for him every single day. They praised him like a god, kept telling him he was perfect just the way he was and that he should never change. He could never understand the feeling of not being good enough.

“Just wondering. Maybe my Spidey-senses are off.” He chuckled and continued to swing your hand back and forth as you walked through the park. 

Another week passed before the topic came up again. You were sleeping over at the dorm as they had nothing scheduled for the next morning, however, you found yourself wide awake at two am. You had tried to force your eyes shut for the past three hours, but to no avail. You eventually gave up and made your way to the kitchen, careful not to wake up your boyfriend, who was sleeping soundly next to you. 

You wanted to make yourself a cup of hot tea to maybe soothe you into sleep, but you forgot where they kept the kettle. After looking through about seventy-five percent of the cupboards, you heard footsteps creep up behind you. You turned around and met the face of a might confused and sleepy Lacey. Chan’s girlfriend.

“Hey, sorry. Did I wake you?” You asked in a whisper, her quickly shaking her head. 

“Oh don’t worry! I was looking to make myself some tea. I assume that’s what you’re doing as well?” She spoke, a smile prominent on her lips.

Lacey was one of the sweetest girls you had ever met, which made the situation even more annoying- because god knows you wanted to dislike her. Dislike her for making you doubt yourself, and even worse- making you doubt Jeongin.

“Yeah, but I forgot where they keep the kettle.” You smiled sheepishly. Lacey chuckled and opened one of the cupboards you had already looked through. “I don’t know why they feel the need to hide it, like if they’re getting robbed, I hardly think this will be the first thing they’d steal.” She snickered and pulled the kettle out from the very back. 

Silence overcame you as she filled it with water and plugged it into the wall. The soft sound of silence blended well with the heating water, it eventually coming to a boil. 

“Would you like milk or sugar?” You asked as you prepared two cups, each with a teabag. You had silently assigned each task, as Lacey watched the kettle and you grabbed the tea.

“I actually have it with a teaspoon of honey! You have to try it, it’s so yummy.” She beamed, grabbing the honey that was sat on the counter. You nodded and let her put the honey in each of the cups before pouring in the boiling water. 

After you had cleared away the equipment and the things you had used, you both grabbed your respected cups and headed to the living room, sitting down on the couch before kick-starting another conversation.

“I know we don’t know each other all that well, but maybe it even helps that we’re borderline strangers. Are you alright these days? I’m so sorry if I come off as intrusive, it’s just that the boys have talked about you acting a bit off lately, and they don’t really know how to go about it.” Lacey spoke in her soft voice, a bit of an accent shining though, but you couldn’t place it. 

Her words hit you harder than you had originally anticipated, making tears burn at the brim of your eyes. 

“I don’t know, Lacey.” Your voice broke and you quickly shifted your gaze from her down to your cup of steaming tea. You weren’t okay, and you knew that. You hadn’t been okay for a while. At first, you thought your insecurities had just been an inconvenience, and nothing more. But as time went by, you found it eating you up from the inside. No matter what it was, you always thought about how you looked, especially compared to Jeongin, and how you were scared to talk to him about it. 

So that was exactly what you told Lacey. And before you knew it, you were crying, as was she when she confessed her own insecurities and issues. It ended up with both of you having to put down your cups on the table, because you were both crying and shaking. 

“I know exactly what you’re feeling, babe. Every single day, we have to look at all of those beautiful fans and its only natural for us to compare ourselves! But I do know one thing. Jeongin loves you just as much as you love him, maybe even more. And yes those fans are beautiful- but as are you. So talk to him, maybe he’ll understand.” Lacey finally spoke after you both had controlled your breathing.

You gave her a hug, and decided it was better to do it now, despite the fact that it was almost four am. If you didn’t do it now, who knows when you’d muster up the courage to do it.

Sneaking back into his room, you closed the door carefully behind you, then made your way over to the bed. Sitting down on the edge you carefully shook his body. “Babe, Jeongin? I need to talk to you.” 

He quickly stirred awake, confused and tired. “What’s going on? Y/N, are you okay?” He suddenly came to it, scared for your wellbeing. 

“Actually, I’m not, and that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I know you asked me a few times last week if I was doing okay, and I lied. I haven’t been doing good for a while. It was like everything hit me all at once, and I don’t know what to say. It’s no secret I’m bigger than you, and that’s never bothered me until recently. I keep seeing all of your beautiful fans, and I keep thinking ‘wow, he has a lot of options. I wonder how long it’ll take before he find someone prettier and better than me. I feel like just a detail in your picture, you know?” You were crying again at this point, and Jeongin looked at you with all the sorrow in the world as he held your hand and listened to you. 

He would never have guessed that was why you had been upset. You always carried yourself with such grace and confidence, it made him swoon. 

“Y/N, baby. Why didn’t you tell me earlier? You know something like that will never happen. Sure, we have pretty fans, but they are nothing compared to you. You are my everything, and even though you are the most breathtaking person I have ever seen, it’s not that that made me fall in love with you. It’s your inside beauty. Your inside beauty shines through your whole self, making you stand out. Not like the flower-crown in a boy’s hair, or the diamonds around a woman’s neck. You are stunning, and so much more than just a detail, you are the picture. You are the view. You can easily be compared to a sunset, or the starry sky a late night, but you are so much more than that too. Both outside and inside beauty like yours is so much rarer than that. You are the northern lights people travel long and far to see. You Y/N, you are unique in the best possible way.” 

You were sobbing, to say the least. Jeongin had even shed a few tears, heartbroken that his baby was hurting. He then quickly pulled you into a hug, holding you tight as you both cried, no longer sad tears, but happy ones.

You couldn’t believe how insanely lucky you were to have someone like him in your life, and that you could call him yours.

“I love you.”

I really hope you like it! 

Feel free to request more!!

-bentley