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papermoonloveslucy · 4 years ago

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THE WILLS

March 19, 1950

“The Wills” (aka “The Coopers Make Their Wills”) is episode #80 of the radio series MY FAVORITE HUSBAND broadcast on March 19, 1950.

Synopsis ~ After Liz and George make out their wills, Liz is convinced that George intends to do away with her. Liz is startled to find a receipt for some arsenic and rope in his pocket, but is shocked when George suggests a trip to the country - with a one-way ticket for Liz!

Starting with this episode, “My Favorite Husband” moved from Thursday nights, to Sunday nights.

Note: This program was used as a basis for a scene in “I Love Lucy” episode “Lucy Thinks Ricky Is Trying to Murder Her” (ILL S1;E4) filmed on September 8, 1951 and first aired November 5, 1951. For various reasons, it was the first episode of the series filmed, but the fourth aired.

“My Favorite Husband” was based on the novels Mr. and Mrs. Cugat, the Record of a Happy Marriage (1940) and Outside Eden (1945) by Isabel Scott Rorick, which had previously been adapted into the film Are Husbands Necessary? (1942). “My Favorite Husband” was first broadcast as a one-time special on July 5, 1948. Lucille Ball and Lee Bowman played the characters of Liz and George Cugat, and a positive response to this broadcast convinced CBS to launch “My Favorite Husband” as a series. Bowman was not available Richard Denning was cast as George. On January 7, 1949, confusion with bandleader Xavier Cugat prompted a name change to Cooper. On this same episode Jell-O became its sponsor. A total of 124 episodes of the program aired from July 23, 1948 through March 31, 1951. After about ten episodes had been written, writers Fox and Davenport departed and three new writers took over – Bob Carroll, Jr., Madelyn Pugh, and head writer/producer Jess Oppenheimer. In March 1949 Gale Gordon took over the existing role of George’s boss, Rudolph Atterbury, and Bea Benadaret was added as his wife, Iris. CBS brought “My Favorite Husband” to television in 1953, starring Joan Caulfield and Barry Nelson as Liz and George Cooper. The television version ran two-and-a-half seasons, from September 1953 through December 1955, running concurrently with “I Love Lucy.” It was produced live at CBS Television City for most of its run, until switching to film for a truncated third season filmed (ironically) at Desilu and recasting Liz Cooper with Vanessa Brown.

MAIN CAST

Lucille Ball (Liz Cooper) was born on August 6, 1911 in Jamestown, New York. She began her screen career in 1933 and was known in Hollywood as ‘Queen of the B’s’ due to her many appearances in ‘B’ movies. With Richard Denning, she starred in a radio program titled “My Favorite Husband” which eventually led to the creation of “I Love Lucy,” a television situation comedy in which she co-starred with her real-life husband, Latin bandleader Desi Arnaz. The program was phenomenally successful, allowing the couple to purchase what was once RKO Studios, re-naming it Desilu. When the show ended in 1960 (in an hour-long format known as “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour”) so did Lucy and Desi’s marriage. In 1962, hoping to keep Desilu financially solvent, Lucy returned to the sitcom format with “The Lucy Show,” which lasted six seasons. She followed that with a similar sitcom “Here’s Lucy” co-starring with her real-life children, Lucie and Desi Jr., as well as Gale Gordon, who had joined the cast of “The Lucy Show” during season two. Before her death in 1989, Lucy made one more attempt at a sitcom with “Life With Lucy,” also with Gordon.

Richard Denning (George Cooper) was born Louis Albert Heindrich Denninger Jr., in Poughkeepsie, New York. When he was 18 months old, his family moved to Los Angeles. Plans called for him to take over his father’s garment manufacturing business, but he developed an interest in acting. Denning enlisted in the US Navy during World War II. He is best known for his roles in various science fiction and horror films of the 1950s. Although he teamed with Lucille Ball on radio in “My Favorite Husband,” the two never acted together on screen. While “I Love Lucy” was on the air, he was seen on another CBS TV series, “Mr. & Mrs. North.” From 1968 to 1980 he played the Governor on “Hawaii 5-0″, his final role. He died in 1998 at age 84.

Gale Gordon (Rudolph Atterbury) had worked with Lucille Ball on “The Wonder Show” on radio in 1938. One of the front-runners to play Fred Mertz on “I Love Lucy,” he eventually played Alvin Littlefield, owner of the Tropicana, during two episodes in 1952. After playing a Judge in an episode of “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour” in 1958, he would re-team with Lucy for all of her subsequent series’: as Theodore J. Mooney in ”The Lucy Show”; as Harrison Otis Carter in “Here’s Lucy”; and as Curtis McGibbon on “Life with Lucy.” Gordon died in 1995 at the age of 89.

Bea Benadaret (Iris Atterbury) does not appear in this episode.

Ruth Perrott (Katie, the Maid) was also later seen on “I Love Lucy.” She first played Mrs. Pomerantz (above right), a member of the surprise investigating committee for the Society Matrons League in “Pioneer Women” (ILL S1;E25), as one of the member of the Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts League in “Lucy and Ethel Buy the Same Dress” (ILL S3;E3), and also played a nurse when “Lucy Goes to the Hospital” (ILL S2;E16). She died in 1996 at the age of 96.

Bob LeMond (Announcer) also served as the announcer for the pilot episode of “I Love Lucy”. When the long-lost pilot was finally discovered in 1990, a few moments of the opening narration were damaged and lost, so LeMond – fifty years later – recreated the narration for the CBS special and subsequent DVD release.

GUEST CAST

Herb Vigran (Doctor Stephens) made several appearances on “My Favorite Husband.” He would later play Jule, Ricky’s music union agent on two episodes of “I Love Lucy”. He would go on to play Joe (and Mrs. Trumbull’s nephew), the washing machine repairman in “Never Do Business With Friends” (S2;E31) and Al Sparks, the publicity man who hires Lucy and Ethel to play Martians on top of the Empire State Building in “Lucy is Envious” (S3;E23). Of his 350 screen roles, he also made six appearances on “The Lucy Show.”

EPISODE

ANNOUNCER: “As we look in on the Coopers tonight, it's just after dinner, and we find Liz and George settling down to a normal evening's conversation.”

George has something he needs to talk to Liz about. Liz immediately thinks it is something to do with her household budget, but George wants to talk about their wills. The subject immediately upsets Liz. The idea of living without George sends Liz into gales of tears. George wants her to read it, and threatens to leave everything to his mother if she doesn’t. Liz snatches the will from him. George then tells her that he has had her will drawn up as well.

LIZ: “What for? You're the one who's going! What are you trying to do, push me ahead of you in line?”

George reminds her of the three acres of Florida beachfront property that her father left her, which she calls ‘Sunken Acres.’ George always assumed it was oil land.

LIZ: “If there's any oil down there, it's still in a whale. Oh! I see it all now, George! You want me to sign a will leaving everything to you, and then you'll bump me off! You want to get your dirty fishhooks on my oil holdings!

Liz agrees to read and sign the will as the scene fades out. At the bank the next day, Mr. Atterbury notices that George seems tired. George admits he was up late talking to Liz about their wills. Mr. Atterbury proposes that the Coopers join him and Iris at their mountain lodge for the weekend, flying up, and then leaving the girls there for the week while they fly back for work. The following weekend they will drive up to get them in Mr. Atterbury’s new car.

Mr. Atterbury has already bought the airline tickets and asks George to go to the hardware store for a few items.

MR. ATTERBERRY: “I need poison for those horrible little gophers up there. And some rope for a clothesline, and a couple of sacks of cement. Iris wants a patio so she can sunbathe. Come to think of it, that ought to keep the gophers away.” GEORGE: “Let me make a list on the back of this envelope. Now, poison, ropes, cement...” MR. ATTERBERRY: “Oh, and I need an axe, too.”

Mr. Atterbury tells George that they should tell their wives that they are just going for a weekend, so that they don’t rush out to buy a week’s worth of new clothes.

At the Cooper home, Katie the Maid is preparing dinner. George comes home and tells Liz the good news that they’ll be going to the Atterbury’s lodge this weekend, and he’s got the airline tickets in his pocket. As George goes upstairs to prepare for dinner, Katie reminds Liz that she has a beauty shop appointment on Saturday. Liz wonders what time the plane leaves, and fishes in George’s jacket pocket to check the tickets. She notices that one tickets is round trip, and the other is one way! Liz immediately assumes one of them isn’t coming back, and reminds Katie that George asked her to sign her will! She notices some writing on the envelope that looks like a shopping list.

LIZ: “Poison! He's going to take me out in the woods and poison me! Look, at the next item - rope. If the poison doesn't work, he's gonna hang me! Cement. If I live through the poison and the rope, he's gonna put my feet in cement and dump me in the lake! Look what's next - axe! If I able to hold my breath, he's gonna swim in the water and chop me to pieces!” KATIE: “Oh, how can Mr. Cooper do such a thing?” LIZ: “With that list of weapons, how can he miss?“

Liz realizes why George might want to do away with her - they’ve finally struck oil on Sunken Acres!

End of Part One

Announcer Bob LeMond reads a live Jell-O commercial.

ANNOUNCCER: “As we return to the Coopers, we find Liz in a state of nervous apprehension. After years of having George under her thumb, she's suddenly discovered that he's bout to put the finger on her. Or at least she thinks he is. But right now it's after dinner, and Liz, the intended victim, is in the living room, reading. While George, the killer, is slowly stalking up behind her.”

George kisses Liz on the back of the neck. She screams! Liz nervously says that she’d rather not go to the Atterbury’s lodge this weekend.

GEORGE: “What? Why, Liz, you love the lodge. You always say that's your idea of living.” LIZ: “Well, I want to keep it that way.”

George says that he has a big surprise for her up there. Liz suggests he take his mother and give HER the big surprise!

GEORGE: “Now, don't be silly! You just wait: When you wake up Monday morning, you'll be very pleasantly surprised.” LIZ: “If I wake up Monday morning, I'll be surprised.”

Liz wonders if George is having money problems. She asks him why he made her sign her will last night. George says that if it bothers her so much, he’ll tear it up - as soon as they get back from the lodge.

Liz runs to her bedroom and locks the door! George telephones Dr. Stephens (Herb Vigran) to report that Liz is acting peculiar.

DOCTOR: “Peculiar for Liz, or peculiar for normal people?”

RICKY RICARDO: “Lucy is acting crazy!” FRED MERTZ: “Crazy for Lucy or crazy for ordinary people?”

This joke was adapted for Lucy Ricardo in “Lucy Thinks Ricky Is Trying To Do Murder Her” with Fred Mertz taking the Doctor’s line.

Doctor Stephens cannot make a house call because he’s got an appointment with his psychoanalyst, but he tells George to give Liz a sedative until he can get there.

Liz comes in for a glass of water. George tells her that he’s had Katie prepare them some hot milk. In the kitchen, Katie tells Liz that she saw Mr. Cooper pour a powder into one of the glasses. Liz says she’ll just switch the glasses so that George drinks the one with the powder in it.

In the living room she distracts George just long enough to switch the glasses. But when George lifts his glass to drink, Liz dashes it from his hand. She says she couldn’t do it to him, even if he could do it to her.

LIZ: “You put something in my glass, didn't you, George? Well, I fooled you! I switched glasses!” GEORGE: “I had a hunch that's why Katie called you, so I switched them again while you were out of the room.”

Liz starts to gag as if she’s been poisoned! Liz falls to the floor, convinced she is going to die, trying to make peace with George in her final moments.

LIZ: “If I had my life to live over again, I want you to know I'd do better. I could stay within the budget, if I tried. (coughs) And I'd never buy clothes I need. (coughs) I'd throw away my charge-a-plate.”

The doorbell rings. It is Mr. Atterbury, come to make the ‘final arrangements.’ Liz tells George that she saw the one way ticket, and the shopping list for poison and the axe. The men dissolve in laughter. Mr. Atterbury explains that those were supplies for the lodge. Liz is angry that she’s been tricked, and refuses to keep the promises she made in her ‘final moments’.

LIZ: "I didn't know what I was saying! I was under the influence of warm milk!”

End of Episode

In the live Jell-O commercial, Lucille Ball plays a Mexican spy, and Bob LeMond is interviewing her for a job.

In the bedtime tag, it is five in the morning and George is reading a suspenseful magazine story. Liz begs him to turn out the light, but then can’t sleep until he knows the outcome of the story. Liz grabs the magazine and reads the last lines.

LIZ: “The huge, shapeless thing crept slowly up behind Mildred, and before she could scream it slipped its bony hands around her - Oh, no!!!” GEORGE: “What does it say, Liz? Around her what?” LIZ: “Around her continued next week! Good night!”

ANNOUNCER: “You have been listening to ‘My Favorite Husband’ starring Lucille Ball, with Richard Denning, and based on characters created by Isobel Scott Rorick. Tonight's transcribed program was produced and directed by Jess Oppenheimer, who wrote the script with Madelyn Pugh and Bob Carroll, Jr. Be sure to get the April Issue of ‘Radio Mirror Magazine’ with the big picture of Lucille Ball on the cover. That's the April issue of ‘Radio Mirror Magazine.’ Original music was composed by Marlin Skyles and conducted by Wilbur Hatch. Bob LeMond speaking.”

#My Favorite Husband #Lucille Ball #Richard Denning #Gale Gordon #I Love Lucy #Ruth Perrott #Bob LeMond #Herb Vigran #radio #CBS #Radio Mirror #The Wills #Jello

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anthropwashere · 6 years ago

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i’m still, still dreaming magnificent things (part 3)

part 1 | part 2

(AO3/FFN links to come)

Winry's call the evening before Ed's release is a far more cheerful one. "We're going to Rush Valley!"

Alphonse pulls away from Granny and the phone in her hand, wincing even though he can't feel pain. That was shrill.

Granny though, she just beams. "Ha! It's about time you made your way down there. But don't tell me Ed of all people picked up an interest in automail."

"Of course not. That'd mean he finally figured out what good taste is. He's going farther south than that, but I convinced him to pay for my ticket there and back. I'm so excited, Granny! I'm going to see the holy land of automail with my own eyes!"

"Oh yeah," Alphonse mutters. He'd forgotten the name of the city, but he's spent too many years around the Rockbells not to know about this far-off biomechanical boomtown. He leans back in once it seems Winry's finished gleeing at a pitch fit to shatter glass.

"I'm going to try to get Ed to spent some time there with me before he heads down to—oh, what was it again? Dublith?"

Alphonse immediately recoils again. "Oh no."

"What's in Dublith?" Granny asks.

"I guess that's where his old alchemy teacher lives?"

"Don't call her old!" Alphonse hisses.

"Oh, that's right, I remember now. Missus Curtis."

"Who?"

"You remember the year the boys left for their training, don't you?" Granny hesitates, mouth thinning, making a visible decision to avoid any mention of that being the same year Winry's parents were killed. "She passed through here during the spring thaw with her husband. She shored up the river with that same funny alchemy Ed can do."

"Oh yeah. I'd forgotten about her."

How on Earth could anybody forget Teacher? Alphonse shakes his head in disbelief. God. On the one hand, he's hoped Ed would eventually brave the trip to Dublith. But on the other? He does not envy him.

Winry and Granny turn the conversation back to Rush Valley, to models Winry wants to see in person and old shops Granny suggests she visit, and so on. Alphonse leaves them to it, more interested in puzzling out why Ed's chosen to seek Teacher out. What could have spurned this make-or-break decision? Some revelation in his research? His near-losses to Scar and those armor-bound souls in the last couple months? Ed's always been a bit of a sore loser. It's likely to be training that he's after—and hopefully that's all he's after. Hopefully he doesn't intend to mention anything regarding soul alchemy or human transmutation. Teacher would throw him out of a window for that kind of talk and she wouldn't bother to open it first.

He's worried for Ed. He's worried what Teacher will say, what she'll do. For years she was the stick by which they measured alchemy and all other practitioners, the one and only other alchemist they've ever known. Alphonse hasn't seen her in years, knows that it's impossible for her to browbeat him over what they tried and failed to do, and still he shivers under the imagined weight of her glower.

Brr.

Hopefully Teacher will at least give Ed time to say his piece before she breaks him in half.

He goes back to Rockbell Automail every evening after Ed's released, just in case. Winry's proven to be reliable about calling, something he's long since given up on Ed ever bothering with, so he's hoping for news sooner than later. But it's not just news he's after that drives him to spend frustratingly quiet hours watching Granny. It's just....

Well. It doesn't feel right to leave Granny all on her own.

Rockbell Automail is so much bigger without Winry clattering about it too. Her workroom is dim and still, her bed neatly made. There's no game of cards after dinner, no dry commentary shared about the morning news, no shopping lists made, no experimental dinners barely salvaged. It's just Granny and her meals for one, Granny sorting through a shipment of new parts in the basement, Granny watching the sun rise and set with pipe smoke curling around her head, Granny on unhurried walks with Den into town. Without customers or her granddaughter to fill the house with chatter, Granny... shrinks. She shows her age. She uncovers her griefs in empty rooms, sandpapered to smooth edges yet still bearing the odd splinter to startle.

Alphonse remembers when Auntie Sara and Uncle Yurie still lived here. He remembers Auntie Sara hugging him close as he cried not long after Mom died, Uncle Yurie teaching him how to tie his shoelaces. They were never formally adopted by the Rockbells, no, but it was never a question of who in town would look after them when it became clear Dad wasn't coming back.

He looks over Granny's shoulder at the old pictures, smiling to himself as Den's tail thumps against a table leg. The first baby pictures of Uncle Yurie, a swaddled pink lump with a tuft of blond hair in a much younger Pinako's arms, pride apparent in her exhausted grin. Others, with and without her late husband, Grandpa Rockbell who passed away before Ed was born. Yurie growing up and up, a toddler then a boy then a teenager then a young man. Then Auntie Sara joins the photographs, her blonde curls cut in a flyaway bob, growing out as she grows up. She's not from Resembool, the same as Mom. Alphonse has dim memories—memories that are more likely to have been etched out of stories he's heard and reheard from Granny and Auntie Sara—of the two women being close friends. There'd only been a year's difference in their ages. Auntie Sara had been only three years older than when Mom died when she was killed in Ishval.

"I miss them too," he tells Granny.

But Granny's smiling to herself rather than dabbing at her eyes. True, it isn't a happy smile. She misses them all terribly; her husband, her son, her daughter-in-law, Mom. She lingers over pictures of Dad too, her old drinking buddy. It's strange, Alphonse thinks. If the dates written on those sepia-toned photographs are right Granny's known Dad almost fifty years. Strange, because Dad looks the same in the oldest picture Granny has of him as he does in the family picture taken only a year before he left. He should be in his nineties, but he doesn't look any older than forty in every single picture Granny has.

Strange. It's a peculiarity Alphonse picks at from time to time, but it's a moot point. Dad is gone, dead or run off, and either way Alphonse will never see him again. Why should he waste any time wondering after the man who left his family behind when Granny's right here, slow to shake herself out of bittersweet memories?

It's not right for her to sit here all alone like this, waiting for someone living to make the trip out of town. When he catches her looking too melancholy he riles Den up or sets his cold hands against her shoulders until she shakes herself off and puts away the photo album. He's glad he's still real enough to help her like this; chasing away cobwebs and making her laugh when Den yelps at nothing.

Winry will call again soon, either during her trip to Rush Valley or when she's on her way home again, but there's no telling when that call might come. It's likely she'll succeed in bullying Ed into staying in Rush Valley a day or two. Once Ed gets too irritated, he'll take a train bound for an early grave in Dublith and Winry will come back home with at least two bags overflowing with trinkets she'd coaxed Ed into buying for her. Sure, they might fight like cats and dogs more often than not, but she's got him wrapped around her little finger.

(Alphonse saw right through that guilt trip she'd pulled with the earrings Ed had brought back as "gifts" the first few times he showed up with his leg in shambles, not that Ed didn't deserve it. Winry's ears weren't even pierced back then. Dumbass.)

All in all, the radio silence is a return to routine. He checks in with Granny once or twice a day. The rest of the time he wanders where he wills, picking people at random to follow for the day, spending the night talking with other ghosts. Anything, to chase away the hours.

Granny's next appointment is with Mrs. Perrault, a woman some years younger than her who'd been injured in a carriage accident as a girl. Her left arm is below-the-elbow automail, a slim-fingered design done by some other mechanic in the West. She had to move across the country for work about the same time as when the Eastern Conflict really picked up, and word of mouth brought her to Rockbell Automail about a year before Alphonse died. She and Granny have been close friends ever since.

"—can't let her out of my sight five minutes before she's up to her neck in trouble," Granny complains as he passes through the front door. She's trying not to grin though, so whatever phone call he missed had shared more good news than bad.

"Damn," he mutters as he sits down on the floor near Den. "What'd I miss, boy?"

Den's tail flops a little as he grins lazily, not bothering to lift his head up. Good dog.

"Oh, don't go blaming her for all that," Mrs. Perrault says, swatting Granny's hand playfully. "You raised her right. She's such a sweet thing. It's that boy who dragged her into the whole mess."

"Hey," Alphonse says, but it's a token protest. Whatever happened, it probably was Ed's fault. He's pretty sure Ed just has one of those faces people like to punch.

"Will I didn't say it wasn't his fault, now did I?" Granny sighs. "He's a feral little brat, no question. There's a good heart buried in there somewhere, mind, but he was born itching to raise hell and that's only gotten worse since his brother passed—"

"Hey," Alphonse says with more feeling. "Don't pin this on me."

Granny slips the external plating back into place on Mrs. Perrault's forearm. "It's not that I don't want her to apprentice. She's got a real gift for biomedical engineering—"

"And so young!" Mrs. Perrault interjects warmly.

Granny doesn't return her smile, tapping her screwdriver against the other woman's metal wrist. "That's the trouble. She's too young to go off on her own. I didn't apprentice until I was nineteen. I know things are different these days, and Mister Garfiel certainly sounds like a fine young man, but I'm still worried for here. Rush Valley is a rough city."

Alphonse blinks. "Wait, Winry's apprenticing? Since when?"

"You raised her right," Mrs. Perrault repeats, resting her other hand on Granny's briefly to stop her tapping. "She'll handle herself fine, and she's smart besides. She knows to be careful."

"She's fifteen, Sally. There's no such thing as being smart or careful enough at that age."

"Ha, isn't that just so? Still, here I thought you'd be proud of her. Delivering a baby and earning an apprenticeship all on her own like that!"

"She delivered a what?" Damn, it's only been a few days! Apparently he can't ever leave this house again if he wants to keep up with any and all insanity.

"Well," Granny says, looking sly, "I think her surname might have given her a leg up getting that apprenticeship."

"Oh?"

"She was recommended to Mister Garfiel by the babe's grandfather, none other than Dominic LeCoulte himself."

Mrs. Perrault lights up like the mid-winter lights festival has come early. "You don't mean—the same Dominic you know back when you were...?"

"The very same!"

They throw their heads back, all but cackling. Alphonse huffs. "You two could actually share some of these stories you're always laughing over one of these days, you know."

Of course, they pay his suggestion no heed. Soon their conversation turns to other, less interesting things. He leaves them to it, going down the hall to Winry's workroom.

The door's cracked enough to let a narrow streak of sunlight in, filling the room with soft shadows and gleaming spots of light off the unfinished pieces she'd left without their oil cloths in her hurry to make the train. He stands in the narrow square of clear floor space behind the pushed-in chair, eyes falling to the coffee tins and mason jars lining the shelves. One jar of bolts catches the light a little differently than its neighbors; the rough edges of hasty alchemy etch strange angles across the glass. Ed had broken it by accident years ago while Winry had been in town. Winry, of course, had noticed it right off, but she's let Ed go on thinking he'd gotten away with it.

Alphonse considers the empty chair, the silence, the stillness, the motes of dust spinning in the space his shadow should stretch. Minutes pass, in the soft, difficult-to-notice way they do when there's no one else around. He finds himself unexpectedly... sad? Is that the right word for it? Sad is a heavy word, better appended to cataclysmic emotions like grief and loneliness. He doesn't know what word would better describe this feeling, this almost disappointed surprise, like someone pulled the rug out from under him for a laugh at his expense. He can't settle on a word, but he's still left feeling something over the fact that Winry isn't coming back after all. He's whiled away a lot of hours here in this little room, watching her work. He'd sit out of the way, perched up where he could see her hands work magic, shaping so much scrap into carefully shaped puzzle pieces he couldn't begin to parse, and with absolute ease she'd put all those pieces together into new limbs for people who'd had their own taken from them.

People always compare alchemy to magic and miracles, but those people have never seen an automail engineer in total, unapologetic love with their craft. Winry gets this look on her face as she works, this all-encompassing serenity despite the shriek of heavy machinery. It's like she'd rather be here in this little room than anywhere else in the world.

But that's not true, because she isn't coming back. She's moving forward, growing up. Oh, she'll visit. He knows her too well to expect anything else. She cares for Granny too much to leave her up on this hill alone for too long. She'll visit, perhaps not as frequently as Ed but for longer stretches when she does. But then she'll leave again, just like Ed. She'll go back to the life she's carving out for herself in far-off Rush Valley, the rough-and-tumble city of her dreams. She'll commit herself wholly to the craft she's lived and breathed for as long as Ed has lived and breathed alchemy. She'll be happy there.

Rush Valley, as he's pieced together from Granny's stories, is some wondrous city in the South, a desert valley hemmed in by spires of weathered red stone and deep canyons, hot and bright and chaotic, teeming over with people from all walks of life and a dozen different models of automail in every shop. When Granny apprenticed there she stayed for years, and afterward went traveling around the country for even longer. She only came back to Resembool for good when her dad fell ill, husband in tow and Uncle Yurie born shortly thereafter..

Resembool is a place to settle, a place to build a home, a place to forge a shared happiness that will last a lifetime. It's a place to raise families, to grow old, to laugh on the porch on sticky summer evenings as fireflies wink erratic patterns in the waving grass. It's a place for children, not for young people trying to grow up and figure out what kind of person they want to be.

He doesn't mind that Winry's moving forward. He's happy for her, really. He just thought... he thought there'd be a little more time before she left too. That's all.

So.

Winry's apprenticing in Rush Valley, which—according to the train station's detailed map—is only one stop north of Dublith. From a purely practical standpoint, it'll be good to have Winry that much closer to Ed. You know. In case of... mechanical failure.

Oh, who is he kidding? Teacher's going to break every bone in Ed's body for what they did, and it's not like she'll leave his left leg alone just because it's made of steel. Ed won't have the foresight—nor the hindsight, for that matter—to appreciate it, but at least he won't have to haul his broken carcass halfway across the country so Winry can finish him off for destroying her beautiful work.

(Again.)

That's how he rationalizes it when he's feeling optimistic, anyhow. He wouldn't be at all surprised to see FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST FOUND DEAD, BRUTALIZED emblazoned on the front page of the Times one day.

...He really, really doesn't envy Ed facing Teacher all on his own. Brr.

CENTRAL INVESTIGATIONS OFFICER FOUND DEAD, MURDERED, screams the front page of the Times.

In smaller print—with far too many exclamation points to be tasteful—the article goes on to detail that Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes was found dead in a phone booth in Central Park, the apparent cause of death a single gunshot wound to the heart. He had no known enemies and there are currently no suspects. For his ultimate sacrifice in service to Amestris he has been posthumously promoted two ranks to that of Brigadier General. It goes on to list the commendations he earned in Ishval, bland details of the years he served in distinction, and the fact that he is survived by a wife, Gracia, and one daughter, Elicia. They have asked for privacy in their time of grief.

Alphonse steps back from reading over Granny's shoulder, dismayed. "Hughes? Wasn't that the family Winry stayed with in Central? Brother's friend?"

Granny has one hand pressed to her mouth, the paper shaking in the other. After a moment she sets it down, folds it so she needn't see the top article. She finishes her morning coffee in silence.

Days pass, then weeks. A whole month of days passes by without so much as a whisper of Ed. Winry calls every few days, always bubbling over with excitement and technical jargon and absurd stories. She doesn't mention Ed apart from saying she hasn't heard from him either. "Like that's anything new." Which is true, and sort of comforting for it? If he hasn't been found chopped up into neat little pieces yet then maybe Teacher took pity on him. Enough that she hasn't chased Ed out of town yet, at least, and really, that's more than Alphonse dared to hope for.

He can't help but worry anyway, as he always does in the uneasy interim. The time they spent in Dublith as kids was—amazing, honestly amazing. They learned more in six months than they did in all the preceding years of teaching themselves out of Dad's old books. Teacher had been—terrifying, yes, absolutely, no question. But she'd been fascinating too. The most skilled and knowledgeable alchemist they'd ever met—still, in his case, and more than likely the same for Ed too—and she barely ever used alchemy. All her neighbors had stories of times past when she had, and it had always been for big, important events. Lives on the line events. Halting chaos and destruction in its tracks, just like how she'd saved Resembool with a single clap of her hands. Everything else, from wobbly chairs to leaky roofs to broken plates, she insisted be fixed by hand.

Fascinating too, if a bit overbearing at times, had been how smitten she and Sig were. Overbearing, yes, but it was honest—at least, as far as he could tell then as an eight year old boy who'd not yet really taken much notice of girls. Since then he's had ample opportunity to compare their marriage to that of other couples, in public and behind closed doors. Sig and Teacher remind him a little of Auntie Sara and Uncle Yurie. Wholehearted devotion, love their foundation rather than a coat of paint. True love like out of a story. Love each person worked hard to keep fast. Love that soared on the good days and dug its heels in and persisted on the bad. Love that was so, so worth the time and energy put into it. The kind of love—the kind of bond—that anyone would admire, and perhaps even envy.

He's wondered on more than one occasion if Mom and Dad had been at all like that. If they'd shown their love for each other in the small gestures as much as the grand ones. If Mom had brought Dad a fresh cup of coffee without being asked to when he lost track of time in his study. If Dad chased her out of the kitchen so he could make dinner while she took a well-deserved break. If they folded laundry together, washed and dried dishes together, picked weeds on blisteringly hot days together, stayed up late worrying about the latest trouble their precocious sons had gotten into. Did Mom know why Dad left? Had Dad really intended to come back like she said he would?

He wishes he knew. He can't remember. His memories of their parents are even shakier than Ed's, and it's not as if he can ask anyone for details.

Teacher was—and still is, more than likely—less the sickly housewife she insisted she was and more a force of nature. It hadn't mattered that she'd been gray and shaking and wiping blood from her mouth more days than not. It hadn't mattered because nothing in this world could possibly have the audacity to really hurt her. Teacher was—is—an undeniable, impossible, wonderful fact of a human being. She survives her illness by sheer stubbornness and the love she has for Sig. She demands that every moment of pain be worth it, in the end. Teacher was—and will always be—a font of inspiration for them both.

He wonders what she and Ed are doing in this interim. Surely Ed told her what had happened that night. What they tried to do, what it cost. Ed might try to avoid that conversation, but there's no question that they'll spar together. She'll notice his leg and she'll pry the whole ugly story out of him, with meat hooks and brandished cleavers if she has to. What will she have to say about Alphonse's death? What will she think of Ed's insane plan to commit the taboo again?

He hopes she can talk Ed out of it. If anyone can, it would be her.

Picture Ed in Dublith. Sleeping alone in the room they'd shared when they were kids. Sparring with Teacher every day, even on the days she shouldn't have gotten out of bed. Spending hours in the kitchen talking together, bruised and sore and laughing, nursing cups of that spicy coffee Sig likes so much. Picture the sunlight breaking into a million million squares of white brilliance off of Kauroy Lake, the summer sun baking heat into the narrow cobblestone streets late into the evening. Picture the tangled labyrinth of abandoned ruins they'd played in, Ed's expression bittersweet over the memories rather than thunderous and brittle. Picture Ed smiling and meaning it.

Maybe the next time Ed comes back to Resembool he'll have accepted the empty space next to Mom's grave for what it ought to be. Maybe Ed won't ever be able to stomach buying a headstone for an empty grave, but maybe he'll start leaving two wreaths at Mom's. Maybe Ed will throw his pocket watch in Colonel Mustang's face and wash his hands of the military. Maybe Ed will find some other hook to hang his dreams on.

He hopes. He has to hope Ed can move past his madness. It's all he can do.

Of course, the quiet can't last forever. Six weeks and two days after Ed left Rush Valley the front page news screams about no one less than the Fuhrer himself leading a sting operation in Dublith, and of course the Fullmetal Alchemist was right in the thick of things.

"For Heaven's sake," Granny sighs.

Apparently a bar called The Devil's Nest was a hideout for yet another paramilitary group with a storied history of aggressive acts against the military and civilians both. The members of this group were taken down with extreme yet necessary force, as they had made it clear they'd had no intention of surrendering quietly. There’s a brief statement from Fuhrer Bradley relaying his relief that this threat had been handled without any loss of life of the men operating under him, that he's glad to have been able to lead such a brilliant team before this nefarious group could go through with their more violent threats, and what a pleasure it had been to see young Fullmetal in action. It all sounds very....

Well.

Alphonse isn't sure what to make of it, to be honest.

It just seems a little... odd that the Fuhrer would risk life and limb like this. Aren't sting operations better suited to younger soldiers? Then again, this paramilitary group can't have been that much of a threat, at least compared to the one Ed took down solo earlier this year. Alphonse hasn't even heard of this Devil's Nest gang before, and the news is a constant stream of reports about violent groups demanding radical, dangerous changes.

(The fact that Ed has regular dealings with terrorists leaves Alphonse weak-kneed and hating that he can't be there fighting alongside him, but that is an old wound he's sick of salting.)

This group in Dublith sounds like a criminal bunch, at least from what's briefly reported on them, but nothing that warranted the attention of a State Alchemist—let alone whatever force Fuhrer Bradley mustered. On the other hand, it was Bradley who put an end to that former State Alchemist's plot in Central a few months previous. Who's to say this group down South didn't have similarly lofty goals? The news can only report so much after all; there's no telling what intel the military had on them they'd chosen not to release to the public. Who is Alphonse to say that Bradley wasn't doing his duty by cutting these people down before they could make a direct threat against the brass?

Still.

Still, something about this doesn't sit right with him, and Alphonse is relieved to find that he's not the only one thinking the same. A lot of people right here in Resembool seem to feel the same way. They wonder after this group; their motives, their convictions, the families they left behind. They wonder after this group none of them have ever heard of before now, never mind the news repeatedly stresses that they were a well-known group of armed extremists. They wonder why the Fuhrer keeps ending up knee-deep in bloody affairs like this when he would be better off serving the country from behind a desk, wielding a pen rather than a saber. These are dark and uncertain times, and Amestris' citizens look to him for guidance. There have been nothing but wars and insurrections and unrest for—God, who even knows anymore? Just look at Liore, the latest in a long line of regional upsets.

Strange too, how Liore's gone to pieces. All these terrible riots the news reports, so many deaths, no resolution in sight. Everyone in Resembool had been so proud of Ed for dismantling that shady religious order, but now no one knows what to think of that either. The reports claim that the "true" leader of the order had been away, and that Ed and the citizens had been duped by a cruel imposter. Liore is divided now; half its people willing to trust this returned leader, half wanting nothing at all to do with Letoism. Alphonse wonders if Ed knows what's happening in Liore. He must, right? He's a State Alchemist. He must be privy to far more information than what gets divvied out in easily digestible snippets to the public. Right?

Propaganda is less an uncertain worry here in Amestris than it is a simple, unavoidable part of life. Many adults in Resembool can recall a time before the current regime, when the news made a little more sense, when people weren't quite so wary of what their neighbors might overhear. Nowadays everybody is a little more cautious, a touch more restrained, just in case. But Alphonse is privy to all sorts of things people say and do away from prying eyes and wagging tongues. In a rural town like this it doesn't ever amount to much in the greater scheme of things, but that's a concept Alphonse doesn't find himself needing to be concerned with much anyhow. If it doesn't involve Ed, what does the greater scheme matter?

He wonders though, sometimes, what it would have been like if he'd died in a bigger town. A proper city, even. Sometimes he wishes he could have known beforehand what the cost of their transmutation would be. He would have picked somewhere else to die, even though it would have meant never seeing Winry or Granny again. Dublith would have been nice. If he could have known, too, that Ed would end up in East City he would have picked there in a metaphorical heartbeat. What he'd give to be closer to his brother....

Oh, but that's a pointless wish. He died in Resembool and he'll remain here until the last stubborn wisp of his ghost fades away. There's nothing to be done for it.

Still, the townsfolk can gossip and wonder and whisper behind their hands all they please. None of what they think or what they're told is what really happened, that much Alphonse is sure of. The Fuhrer and a whole team needed to step in to take down a ragtag bunch of thugs in the same town Teacher and Ed were in? Ed's an old pro at this kind of insanity now and Teacher is twice as terrifying as Ed on her worst days. No matter the situation, if things came to a head they would have handled it themselves with aplomb. So why did Bradley feel the need to step in and kill The Devil's Nest down to the last man?

It doesn't sit right with Alphonse. It just doesn't make any sense at all.

Winry calls again and this time Alphonse manages to listen in. It's mostly exasperated ranting about Ed, because three guesses who showed up out of the blue yesterday? Ed tried to weasel his way into her good graces despite being beat half to hell with his leg wrecked, feeding her some bullshit story that managed to avoid answering even one of her questions. Then, somehow in the short span of time she'd left Garfiel Atelier to fetch a few parts, Ed managed to destroy three city blocks fighting a bunch of Xingese tourists! His leg went from wrecked to scrap metal in about twenty minutes. Bombs were involved somehow? Winry's friend Paninya has a short-barreled cannon in one of her automail legs, apparently?

(Alphonse decides he's happier not knowing the details for once.)

The Xingese tourists stuck around Atelier Garfiel after all was said and done. Mr. Garfiel is letting them stay in a spare room, as it seems they haven't got much money and are really quite nice. Ling Yao does most of the talking, as the other two—an old man, Fu, and a young woman, Lan Fan—are his retainers. They're in Amestris looking for—of all things—information on the Philosopher's Stone. That was the conversation that derailed into wide-scale property damage that Ed's still out hobbling around on a spare leg repairing. Winry's washed her hands of the whole thing, since Ed's staying mum as usual and Ling has a funny habit of pretending his Amestrian isn't half as good as it actually is.

"I'm pretty sure Ed's quit fighting them because he's too wore out after all the alchemy he's done," Winry says. "He barely ate dinner yesterday and he still looked pretty rough when he left this morning. You should see the state Fifth Avenue is in though, Granny! It's unrecognizable!"

"I can believe it," Granny replies dryly.

It's going to take Winry about a week to build a new leg from scratch—"And I'm charging him a rush order fee anyway. He's being such a jerk, Granny!"—then she and the three Xingese tourists will be following Ed up to Central. She wants to visit the Hughes family again, they want to track information down on the Stone, and Ed's being as vague as ever about his own plans.

Curiously, Granny doesn't say a word about Brigadier General Hughes.

Alphonse looks at her once she's hung up the phone. She looks like she does when she visits the cemetery; weary down to her marrow as she prunes weeds from the graves of her family and Mom. "Why didn't you tell her?"

Granny, of course, doesn't answer.

Alphonse misses Winry's last call before they leave Rush Valley and he could kick himself for that. She'd called every day after Atelier Garfiel closed for at least a few minutes, and under her voice he'd been able to hear Ed snarking in the background with someone with a cheerfully accented voice. Those phone calls are likely going to be the last time he hears Ed's voice for who-knows how long. Winry and Ed will spend a day or two together in Central, then Ed will likely head back to East City to report in to Colonel Mustang and Winry will go South again. It will be at least another month—hopefully, though at the rate he's going it's hard to say—before Ed needs maintenance. But Granny's not his mechanic. Winry is. He'll go to Rush Valley, not Resembool. Sure, Fullmetal might make the paper now and then, but it's not the same.

He has no idea when he might see Ed next.

At least he can be sure Winry will call while she's in Central. Too, she'll do her best to wheedle something out of Ed to pass along to Granny, some little snippet Alphonse can overhear so he has a better idea of where Ed might go next. There's going to be a rough patch while they're there, thanks to Granny's silence regarding Brigadier General Hughes. Winry will be sad, but it's not as if she'd had a chance to get to know the man well. Ed, on the other hand?

Well, that's more difficult to determine with what little data Alphonse has to go on. Winry had called the man Ed's friend, but what did that mean, really? Ed keeps people at arm's length, bottling up all the ugly, jagged hurts he's earned until he's left breathless, staring fixedly at nothing with wide, dry eyes. He doesn't let anyone in; it's too easy to be pitied that way, and Ed can't stand to be pitied. He and Hughes might have worked together on occasion, but they were stationed halfway across the country from each other. How close could they have been? How sad might Ed be that this man from Investigations has been murdered?

Alphonse shakes his head. Ed might be sad when he hears the news too, but it won't hurt him. Ed will swallow down whatever small grief he'll feel and move on, just like he always does.

He's in the Corcoran household when he unexpectedly comes across the Brigadier's name again in the paper. A suspect has been taken into custody, and there's an official picture of her accompanying the front page article. Second Lieutenant Maria Ross is a woman in her late twenties with boyishly short hair and a beauty mark under one eye. She isn't smiling in her picture. She looks severe. She looks like someone who wouldn't hesitate to pull the trigger if it came down to it.

"But she was one of Ed's bodyguards," he says. Back when Ed had been hospitalized in Central, Lieutenant Ross and Sergeant Brosch had looked after Ed for weeks. They'd saved his life. She worked for Hughes. Why would she kill her superior officer?

He looks at her picture again, trying to feel something more than abstract curiosity. Ed's friend, the same man who had insisted Winry stay free of charge with his family, is dead because of the same woman who had guarded Ed when he'd been gravely injured. She's going to face the firing squad for this. She's going to die, and in turn someone else Ed had known will die.

This is the closest Alphonse will ever get to knowing this woman, this officer who worked and lived and murdered a good man in far-off Central. A front page article that amounts to a few small paragraphs. He can't summon more than a flicker of disappointment, and even that feels forced. She's just one more name in the paper, one more murderer caught red-handed. The paper might make another mention or two of her after her execution, but this is all she amounts to for Alphonse: the impact her misdeeds and her death might have on Ed.

It isn't much. It's something novel to talk over with Mrs. Morgenstern when he visits her next, at least.

CULPRIT IN INVESTIGATIONS MURDER ESCAPES, the Times screams the very next day. KILLED IN STRUGGLE WITH FLAME ALCHEMIST.

"Oh," Alphonse remarks, reading over Mr. Cartwright's shoulder at the newsstand.

It turns out Colonel Mustang had been transferred to Central earlier this year, and he'd taken to the order to capture the escaped Lieutenant dead or alive rather... pragmatically. Alphonse can almost picture the reporter who typed up this article, giddy over the intrigue and excitement, counting all the cenz they'll earn for the headline alone. The article, while certainly exclamatory, doesn't provide much in the way of detail. Ross escaped with the aid of a large suit of armor but didn't get far before Colonel Mustang cut her down. The suit of armor managed to escape into the night; there's a rough sketch of its fearsome visage included in the article. It's a toothsome, grinning thing, one of its eye holes torn wide by a shotgun blast.

(Alphonse thinks of the fight that cost Ed two fingers. He thinks of the iron slag that used to be two suits of armor puddled in the ruins of their basement. He wonders, he suspects, but he doubts he'll ever know for sure either way.)

Colonel Mustang, the dark-eyed man who earned his infamy in the Eastern Conflict and later dragged Ed out of his wheelchair by force and olive branch both, burned Ross to death in some alleyway. He could have just arrested her, made her face neat justice for her crimes. He could have just shot her. Instead he chose to kill her the same he killed who-knows how many Ishvalans.

Alphonse considers the pink burn on his wrist, a minor cooking injury that had left him in tears when it happened. It had been a raw and stinging hurt for what had felt like forever. He thinks of the terrible display of burns Steffie and Owen Sauter wear on their low days, blackened skin crackling, a halo of fire overtaking their faces. He tries to imagine what it must have felt like to die that way; every inch of her skin bubbling, her lungs scorched breathless, her bones cracking in the heat. Lieutenant Ross probably died screaming.

This is the work of the same man who conscripted Ed at twelve years old—who held out that olive branch when Ed was eleven and only just beginning to recover from the loss of his leg and the failure of his younger brother. Colonel Mustang could have—should have—killed Ed the same way he killed Lieutenant Ross and all those Ishvalans. Burning people alive seems to be the only method the man knows.

Alphonse has had years now to consider whether or not he should hate this man. Ed's made his own opinion perfectly clear with every scathing anecdote he's shared. But Mustang—by the law of the same military they both serve—should have killed Ed for committing the taboo. Should have, yet didn't. Ed seems to have forgotten that, but Alphonse never will. He wishes, far from the first time, that he could see Colonel Mustang again. He'd been shell-shocked back then, so lost, so afraid, that he didn't pay as close attention as he should have. He only has second-hand accounts to form an opinion of the man now, and those are few and far between.

In the long run, of course, it doesn't matter what he thinks. He knows this. He knows there's no sense in holding a grudge against the man for what Ed has had to endure in his time as a State Alchemist. He can't blame the man for Ed's own choices, though at times he wishes the world were so simple. There's no logic in spending the long, long years he has trying to make sense of the Flame Alchemist. Colonel Mustang, if nothing else, is a man who knows how to kill dangerous people the only way he's good for.

(Alphonse wonders if one day Ed will be ordered to do the same thing. To kill someone the only way he's good for. He wonders if Ed already has.)

There's no mention of Fullmetal in the article. No news of Ed at all, nor a phone call from Winry. He hopes Ed didn't get dragged into that mess, hopes that Ed didn't have to watch his superior burn a woman alive.

He spends that night with Steffie and Owen, biting his tongue so as not to ask them what it had felt like to die burning.

He's there when Winry calls.

She's quiet, her voice damp with tears already shed. She spent the day with Mrs. Hughes and her daughter, Elicia. They baked an apple pie. She'd been practicing, see, ever since the Hughes family let her stay with them, and she'd been looking forward to Mr. Hughes trying it. But now he never will.

"Oh, Winry," Granny murmurs.

She and Ed have taken rooms at an inn not far from Central Command. Ed didn't go with her to visit the Hughes family; he found out from Colonel Mustang. Turns out the two men had been friends since their days at the Academy, which might explain—though not justify—the vehemence with which he had burned Lieutenant Ross. Winry knows Ed had gone out the night Ross escaped and was killed, knows too that Ed came back late, brittle as cracked glass, sure to break if she pressed too hard. She suspects, but she'd asked him for nothing more than he offered.

But it doesn't matter, because Ed's gone now.

"Gone where?" Granny and Alphonse both ask.

Winry doesn't know. Major Armstrong appeared in the inn about an hour ago, attacked Ed before dragging him off under the pretense of getting his automail repaired, never mind that Winry had been standing right there. So maybe Ed's going to turn up in Resembool soon? Or maybe there's something covert that Winry can't be privy to? Some mission Colonel Mustang has tasked Ed with, something that will take him far away from Central as well as any further opportunity to research the Philosopher's Stone.

Hopefully. Hopefully Colonel Mustang will keep him busy for a while, putting Ed to task hither and yon, remind the people of Amestris that a State Alchemist can amount to more than a butcher. Hopefully Ed can busy himself aiding some suffering town, remind its people that they've got at least one alchemist in their corner who keeps to the credo so few others do: be thou for the people.

Ed does. He tries to, anyway, and maybe that's the best anybody can expect from one lonely kid doing a job even adults flinch from.

Winry remains in Central. She doesn't have much choice, considering she didn't bring nearly enough money to cover their rooms at the inn. All she can do is wait for Ed to come back. Granny assures her she'll keep an eye out for Ed and Major Armstrong, and promises too that she'll whack them both upside the head for stranding here there.

Mr. McCahan, the station master, always keeps an accurate schedule of the trains moving through the East. He's got to, with Resembool the largest supplier of wool to the military. Second Lieutenant Bartlett comes a-hollering if anything's ever delayed without due warning signed and stamped in triplicate. Mr. McCahan prefers to keep things orderly anyway, so that's rarely an issue. He and the sergeants all get on well, a group of old friends rolling their eyes behind the officer's back.

Alphonse checks and rechecks the posted schedule, then checks it once more to be sure. The absolute earliest Ed can arrive is in two days. He could go back up to Rockbell Automail to wait there and keep Granny company. Or he could wander through the farm houses spaced out in neat squares, tiptoe through tilled fields, make a game of hopping along the fleecy backs of sheep until the herding dogs chase him off. He could go door to door here in town proper, watch the hourly intricacies of a hundred households unfold.

He defaults to worrying, pacing the station, nervous in a way that's impossible to relieve. Owen Sauter and Walt Teller watch him bemusedly from their usual haunts; Owen sat on the station's lone bench and Walt down on the tracks with his arms hooked over the platform ledge. Owen had died by unhappy circumstance, a civilian casualty of a politically strategic attack. Walt had fallen on hard times, and fell again, and once more for good measure, and with no one left to pick him up he threw himself in front of a train in hopes that death would free him. He's still here, certainly, but for as long as Alphonse has known he's seemed to be... not the happiest of all the ghosts, no. Happy is a bad word to ascribe to the unquiet dead. But he smiles more, cracks wry jokes, lays back in the grass and laughs at the flight of birds in a clear blue sky. He was not a happy man, but he is a ghost relieved of all cares.

"You know," Walt says with a grin only partially stifled, "there's this saying about watched pots, lad. You familiar with it?"

He throws his hands up irritably. "Can you blame me? It's been months!"

"It's been months before," Owen points out reasonably. Alphonse hates his reasonable voice. He's always right.

"He hadn't lost two fingers before," he snaps. "I can't believe Granny still hasn't asked which ones. I swear, it's her job to care about that kind of thing! I mean, Ed's going to want replacements eventually. It'd be sensible of him to want ten fingers again, right?"

The two men share a meaningful look, all raised eyebrows and pursed smiles. Walt's the first to break, chuckling into the crook of one elbow. Owen does his best to hide his amusement in a coughing fit, clearing his throat before asking, "Now when has your brother ever been sensible?"

Alphonse opens his mouth, thinks about it, and closes it again. See? Always right. It's insufferable, is what it is.

Owen pats the bench beside him companionably. "Come on, Al. Relax. There's no sense worrying over what you can't change."

He huffs as he sits down, crossing his arms in a petulant slump. "Yeah. Yeah, I know."

A train arrives that afternoon. He knows there's no possibility of Ed being on it. He's disappointed anyway.

There's the usual flurry of activity, workers unloading and loading heavy crates, the sergeants pitching in with their uniform jackets thrown off and their sleeves rolled up. There's only one unfamiliar passenger that gets out, rolling his shoulders like he's glad to stretch his legs. He's a stocky, red-haired man, dressed in nondescript traveling clothes and carrying a small suitcase. For lack of anything else to do, Alphonse opts to follow the stranger into town.

The stranger finds the inn with ease, giving his name as Navidson when he pays Mrs. Forney for one night's stay. He drops his suitcase off upstairs, freshens up in the shared bathroom, then makes his way to the Pelletiers' café up the street. It's after lunch so there're only a few of the older folk enjoying coffee over a game of checkers by the window where the sunlight's still pouring in, Ms. Thorn scribbling away in her usual corner, and a Xingese stranger who must have come into town while Alphonse has been hovering in Granny's shadow.

"Mister Han?" Navidson asks by way of greeting as he walks up to the other stranger's table.

The Xingese man stands to clasp their hands together, smiling amicably. "Ah, yes. You must be the gentleman Fu spoke of. Though I regret to say he did not provide your name...?"

"That would be because the decision of who was coming out to meet you was rather last minute." They sit. Esther comes by to take their orders, both men ordering fresh coffee and hearty sandwiches. It's only once she's back behind the counter that Navidson leans in to introduce himself out of the corner of his mouth. "Breda."

Alphonse blinks. In his experience with following shifty-eyed strangers who use fake names at inns—which happens more than one would think here in Resembool—they've yet to use more than one at a time. And Breda? That's not a common name so far as he knows; in fact, the only Breda he knows of is the one Ed knows. Is this the same Second Lieutenant Heymans Breda? Ed had described him once as, "kind of a big guy, a lot smarter than he looks," which was about as vague and insulting as he ever got. Alphonse feels a second-hand guilt for comparing this stranger to that charming description, but... maybe?

Mr. Han hums good-naturedly. "A pleasure. Now, I've heard there will be two others joining us?"

"That's right. They should arrive tomorrow afternoon, providing there aren't any delays."

Well, that clinches it.

Mr. Han smiles over his cup. "Then that leaves tonight for the two of us to acquaint ourselves and tomorrow to prepare. It's a difficult journey. Have you ever traversed the Great Desert before?"

Lieutenant Breda shrugs. "Did some cleanup in Ishval after the worst of it was over, if you've got the stomach to call it that. Never been any further east than that though."

"Ah, yes." Mr. Han's cheerful expression dims. He finishes his coffee, knits his fingers together and rests his chin against them thoughtfully. "You understand what's at risk here."

Lieutenant Breda's eyes narrow. "I do."

"And does your employer?"

A snort. "God, I hope not."

Mr. Han chuckles. "No, no. I mean the man with whom the young lord struck this deal."

"He does. Whether or not the 'young lord' does, however...." Lieutenant Breda leaves the sentence unfinished, one eyebrow quirked pointedly. If Mr. Han takes any offense at the scathing tone the other man used, it's hidden by his sunglasses.

"As Fu explained to me, it seems as if the young lord and your, ah, direct employer are cut from the same cloth."

"That so?" Another snort. "Then they're a matched set of dreamers."

Mr. Han smiles, nodding as Esther arrives with their fresh coffees. He waits until she's gone to ask, "And what does it say of those that follow them?"

Lieutenant Breda grins. "That we deserve what's coming to us, no matter how it all turns out."

Curious.

The two men talk until the café closes, drawing up lists of enough supplies for four people to survive a trek into the Great Desert to last a month. Apart from their introduction they don't use names, never mentioning a detail about the other two they're waiting for. Lieutenant Breda offers no specifics about himself; nor, for that matter, does Mr. Han say why he's helping three Amestrians cross the border. It certainly doesn't sound legal. Then again, while the eastern mountain range makes travel difficult it's not unheard of for people to pass through them to avoid unwanted attention. The other ghosts and many older folk all recall how trade with Xing—on and off the table—used to be far more common, back before Ishval.

It keeps circling back to Ishval. The reasons for, the consequences of. Maybe it's just a matter of perspective, or simply geography. Maybe the West is a much quieter place than the East.

Alphonse snorts. Sure, and maybe pigs fly out West too. Maybe there are no orphans, no grieving families, no one begging for scraps, no one afraid of what their neighbors might repeat.

Amestris is many things, but very few of them are good.

He watches these two men make their unhurried way back to the inn, speaking in low voices with the odd glance over their shoulders. Cautious, even here in sleepy Resembool. He frowns at their backs, deciding to leave them be for the night to turn over what he's heard. It's too suspicious, too much of a coincidence to be a coincidence. One of Colonel Mustang's men is named Breda; one of Ling Yao's retainers is named Fu. Both have ties to Ed, who's going to be here tomorrow. But why the hell would Ed need to go on an illegal trek into the Great Desert on such short notice?

In the morning the two men split the chore of collecting various supplies between them, including five horses borrowed from Mr. Mandelbaum—practically bought outright, with the amount of money Lieutenant Breda handed over with a knowing look. The man quickly proves to be more personable than his gruff demeanor initially suggests; once or twice his sense of humor whiffs, but otherwise he ingratiates himself well with everyone he meets. A real salt of the earth kind of guy, the only thing giving him away as military the haircut. In Ed's words, definitely smarter than he looks. In Alphonse's, he'd bet good money—"It's a figure of speech, Mister Beckenbauer, lighten up,"— that Lieutenant Breda's made plenty of wisecracks at Ed's expense. He seems the type to give as good as he gets.

They reconvene for a late lunch back at the café once everything's been taken care of, speaking in low tones over their meals. At ten to three Lieutenant Breda leaves, walking leisurely—not to the station, but to the road leading south out of town. He sits on the low stone wall, suitcase at his feet and coat folded beside him. Alphonse remains standing, watching the man get comfortable. Lieutenant Breda looks out across the checkered hills, the greening mountains, the town nestled and folded up on itself like a quilted blanket. Amusement tugs faintly at his mouth. "Who woulda thought that brat came from a place as nice as this?"

Alphonse knows Resembool like the back of his hands; its outer beauty and hidden turmoils, its bright summers buzzing with insects and its winters gray with the false promise of snow. He knows its every nook and cranny, its old and its young, its gossip and its ghosts. It's home, inside and out. There are worse places he could have died. "It is nice, isn't it?"

Together they watch the train come into the station, coal smoke streaking in a stiff westerly breeze. The shriek of its wheels and its whistle are calm, reassuring sounds. The train's arrival means that Ed is back. Even if he isn't here to stay, even if Lieutenant Breda and Mr. Han intend to drag him out of town this same evening—still. He finally, finally gets to see his brother again.

It's both a mere ten minutes and three thousand some odd years before Ed and Major Armstrong crest the hill. Ed’s customary red coat is missing. He would cut an almost intimidating figure in all that black if he weren’t standing next to a literal giant.

Lieutenant Breda stands to greet them both with a glib salute. "Hello, Major Armstrong. You too, big guy."

Ed gawks. Major Armstrong’s eyes twinkle with mischief.

The three of them catch up on the way back to the café, but Alphonse doesn't hear a word of it. He's too busy turning circles around Ed, drinking in every last detail and ignoring the way he makes the men shiver when he passes through them.

First and foremost: Ed's grown again, the brat. He's a bit taller, noticeably broader, filled out like he's gotten good meals on the regular. He's even gotten a trim to take care of his split ends. Teacher's doing on all accounts. In this regard, at least, Ed looks good. He looks stronger, sturdier, more at ease in his own skin. But detracting from the good is whatever happened in Central. Months after the fact, Alphonse finally gets to see the damage those armor-bound souls did to Ed.

Winry had told Granny that Ed's face had gotten messed up, but she'd never said how. There are two scars across the right half of his face; two deep stripes from hairline to ear and inner eye to jaw. They're still a raw pink color, puckered by half-healed stitch marks. When he sneers at a joke Lieutenant Breda makes his expression turns downright ghoulish. There are smaller cuts and scratches on his face and neck, more recently earned, and a nasty bruise over the biggest one on his forehead. He didn't get out of the Devil's Nest unscathed.

When Ed makes a sweeping gesture with his right hand Alphonse drops out of the air, an echo of dismay twisting the space where his stomach once sat. Months after it happened, he finally has an answer to the question Granny never asked. Ed's ring and pinky fingers are gone, as stark an absence as his leg, an empty space where flesh and bone and blood should curl. It's difficult to make out details; Ed's riled up, so once he's finished grumbling he sullenly hunches with his hands in his pockets. But Alphonse does get a good enough look to see that the entire fingers aren't gone, not as he'd been imagining in different configurations on nights without any other distractions. Whatever it was that had taken his fingers had done so at an angle. He's still got a whole joint of his ring finger and a small nub left of his pinky. Not gone-gone, but not enough left to be useful.

Alphonse covers his mouth, pressing hard and wishing he could feel the bite of his teeth against his lips as he swallows all the words Ed can't hear him say. Wasted efforts. He follows after the three of them more meekly back into town, into the otherwise empty café where Mr. Han is waiting with a beatific smile.

"This is Mister Han, the departure coordinator," Lieutenant Breda says.

"Nice to meet you." Mr. Han's face is carefully neutral when he shakes Ed's hand. "Fu told me all about you."

"Fu? Oh. That old guy."

(Alphonse watches the care Ed uses—has to use—to avoid jarring his knuckles, and covers his mouth again.)

Lieutenant Breda gestures to the table. "Let's get down to business about the border crossing."

"Border crossing, huh?" Ed sneers, ghoulishly. "Shame I didn't think to grab my passport while I was getting abducted."

Lieutenant Breda and Major Armstrong exchange a weary look. Clearly they're used to Ed's sense of humor and wish they weren't. "Don't be so naive. If you use your passport, they can track you down."

Ed gawks again. "But that's illega—!"

Turns out, Major Armstrong is a lot faster than his size would suggest. He clamps one huge hand over Ed's face to shut him up and all three men practically leer at Ed as they wait for him to catch on. Is it always like this for him? All the grown ups playing their grown up games, waiting for the kid that's forced his way in to learn the rules? These men haven't lost any pieces of themselves. They've got all their fingers, both their legs, no ugly scars twisting their faces, and they've got the gall to look at Ed like he's second rate. Like he's slow, like he's stupid, like he couldn't think circles around them and kick their asses for good measure. Alphonse leans against the wall, watching with a scowl.

Ed tears Major Armstrong's hand away, shoves past him to thump solidly at the table opposite Mr. Han. "I don't believe it! Abduction, scheming, illegal border crossings. I don't know what you're getting me into, but it better not be something stupid. So—" Ed's grin is wide, showing off that ghoulish twist of his face like he's proud of it. "Where are we going?"

The three men smirk, conspiratorial to the point of glee. "To the east!"

Alphonse had hoped that with Ed and Major Armstrong's arrival they would talk more openly about where—and more importantly, why—they were going. But they're paranoid to an almost ludicrous degree, drawing more attention to themselves for all that they don't say. Everybody in Resembool knows Ed, after all. Small towns are all the same; you can't keep secrets from your neighbors half as well as you think you do.

Ed's been tasked with filling up large canteen-things—Mr. Han called them dromedary bags—at Mr. Mandelbaum's hand pump while the others finish up one or two other last-minute tasks elsewhere. Alphonse pays them no mind. Ed, as always, takes priority. He sits on the edge of a water trough, watching Ed work. He's taken his jacket off, wearing only a fitted black t-shirt that serves to emphasize the muscle he's put on as he hitches a filled bag to one of the horse's saddle. There are more half-healed cuts and bruises on his bare arms. Alphonse mouth twists when he sees them, but he's not surprised. Ed never does watch his back.

Spencer, Mr. Mandelbaum's son, is younger than Alphonse was when he died, still shy of ten by a good margin. He, like most of the younger kids, knows Ed better alone rather than as one-half of the too clever for their own good brothers everyone else recalls with bittersweet exasperation. Nobody really talks about Alphonse anymore, not really. Parents are perhaps more leery of thunderstorms, firmer in their warnings not to go wandering in bad weather so they don't end up like that Elric boy's poor brother.

(He's becoming a ghost story in his own right. It should be so funny.)

Alphonse watches Spencer watch Ed from the safety of the stables for a few minutes. It's kind of hilarious how many kids Ed's age and younger are scared of him. They tell stories to one another, some true things they heard on the radio the other kids didn't, some made up on the spot to impress their peers. Ed's famous and strong and smart and an alchemist, which practically makes him magic in the eyes of little kids. He's a folk hero sprung right out of Resembool's own fields. When Ed's in town kids flock after him like ducklings, shrieking laughter and scattering when he barks at them to buzz off. Ed doesn't notice Spencer, the boy too far off and Ed’s distracted with the fastens of another bag. He swears under his breath when his right hand slips. Alphonse fidgets, wishing he could help, knowing Ed would seethe if he really could.

Eventually Spencer musters up the courage to leave the safety of the stables, slinking across the dusty yard on tiptoe. He hesitates about two meters back, chewing on his lower lip. Ed finally notices; his shoulders stiffen, then relax. He puts up with being gawked at for all of five seconds before snapping out, "What."

Poor kid just about jumps out of his skin, actually yelping and looking horrified with himself for it. "I wasn't doin' nothin'!"

Ed scoffs, heaving another filled bag over one shoulder with an ease he wouldn't have had the last time he'd been in Resembool. Teacher's hellish handiwork. He doesn't so much as glance Spencer's way as he walks to the horses. "Yeah? Sure seems to me like you're skulkin' around for a reason. Spit it out."

Spencer swallows. "Y-you were on the news again."

"So?"

"Did you really fight a bunch of terrorists?" He sort of slurs terrorists, like he isn't sure how to pronounce it, but maybe if he says it very quickly no one will notice.

"What? I mean, yeah? That was ages ago. Months. They're still talkin' about that?"

Spencer goes from scared to starstruck in the blink of an eye. It's honestly kind of adorable. "It's true?! What were they doing? Were they murderers? Were they huge and covered in tattoos? Did they have guns and knives and stuff?"

Ed rolls his eyes as he finishes hitching the bag up, patting the horse absently when it twitches. "Wasn't looking for tattoos. Guns and knives and stuff though, yeah. Bossman had an automail arm that had both. Cheap piece of shit though. Broke easy."

Eesh, but those scars don't do Ed's scary faces any favors. Or maybe they do. It's definitely not a face anybody would want to see pop up in a dark alleyway.

Automail can have both?"

"If you're compensating for something, sure."

Alphonse sighs. "Don't be crass, Brother. He's nine."

(The irony isn't lost on him. In his defense, he would be fourteen if he hadn't died and there is a world of difference between nine and fourteen, thanks very much.)

Spencer hops out of Ed's way as he goes back to the hand pump, staying out of arm's reach. All the kids know Ed won't hesitate to smack them upside the head if they get in his way. "So why'd you hafta go take them out?"

"They hijacked a train to get at some bigwig officer. Wanted to do a hostage swap, the bigwig for some of their guys that got arrested previously. Not like that woulda worked out for 'em even if I hadn't stepped in."

"Wait, train?" Ed's right; that was months ago. Why's he talking about that instead of Dublith?

"Train?" Spencer's nose wrinkles. "I thought they were in a bar."

"Like you even know what a bar is, squirt. The hell are you talkin' about?"

"I do too!" Spencer does not go on to describe a bar, briefly looking panicked as he seems to realize that he doesn't, in fact, know what a bar is. "It's what they said on the radio! You got in a big fight in a bar and the Fuhrer was there and you killed all those terror-guys!"

Ed—

—stills.

He closes off, eyes finding something ugly in the middle distance between the water trough and the Mandelbaum house. His jaw works, his grip tightens on the hand pump's handle so much the metal squeaks. "Wasn't me," he croaks. "I didn't kill anybody there. That was all—them. I was just... I was in the neighborhood. Got caught up in it, that’s all."

"Was it those guys who messed up your face?" Spencer asks, oblivious. Stupid kid. Stupid, sheltered, normal kid.

Ed's eyes are flat bronze coins. "...No. Some other guys kicked my ass before that. Had it comin', I guess. Got in over my head."

"Did it hurt?"

"What?" Ed blinks, shakes his head, whips around to put his ghoulish sneer on full display. "Course it fuckin' hurt. What kinda question is that? Go bug somebody else already, I'm busy."

Ed turns back to the hand pump and starts filling the bag. Spencer however, stays put. He looks like he'd about shriek if Ed so much as went boo at him, but he stays. Some of the other kids probably goaded him into this. Poor kid. "Wh—" He freezes when Ed tenses, dares to keep going when Ed doesn't do anything else. "Where are you going?"

"Not your business, squirt. Fuck off."

Spencer's well of courage finally runs dry; he makes a beeline for the stables at top speed. There's the faint sound of hidden kids giggling. Alphonse shakes his head, smiling at his brother. "You could try to be a little nicer to them, you know. God know why, but they think you’re cool."

Ed mutters to himself, too low to be heard over the spilling water.

It's evening by the time Ed and the others head northeast out of town, the sky turning brilliant shades of orange and pink in the west, their shadows growing long before them. Alphonse follows as far as he can. When he reaches the invisible wall he presses against it, straining his ears until the last faint sound of the horses fades away. He stays long after dusk has fallen, long after their shapes have been swallowed up by the growing night.

Ed will come back. He'll come back safe. Whatever's going on, Ed will come back. He has to.

The first week after Ed leaves is notable only for one evening. Alphonse, wanting a little raucousness after too many quiet nights at Rockbell Automail, goes down to the tavern for a few hours. He claims a corner of the bar nobody's sitting at, looks attentively at the familiar faces playing card games and throwing darts, laughing at dirty jokes and sharing gripes over the day's work. Tim and Nancy, the owners, share quiet looks as they work that speak volumes; they've been married so long they rarely need to speak to have a conversation. Alphonse loves coming by after closing time to watch them quibble over who's taking out the trash or wiping down the tables with a single waggle of an eyebrow and a fond kiss on the cheek.

"Hey," Emma Adams barks out suddenly over the general hubbub. "Hey Tim, turn that up."

Tim obliges, reaching over near where Alphonse is perched to turn up the battered radio.

Turns out there's been an attack on one of the military labs in Central. Two men—one wearing a white mask over his face, the other in a full suit of armor—were pursued into the Third Laboratory by none other than the Flame Alchemist and a small team. It's not clear what these men wanted but none of the scientists suffered more than some rough handling. There's vague mention of Flame and one of his men being injured, but no details are provided and none of the MPs on scene were willing to answer any of the reporter's questions. There is, curiously enough, one comment given. None other than Fuhrer Bradley himself says, "The good Colonel Mustang and his men had things well in hand before I happened by. Rest assured that these intruders have been dealt with."

Well. Dealt with doesn't leave much to the imagination, now does it?

Alphonse spends that night up on the roof of the bell tower, the highest point in town. He watches a thin cloud cover scud across the star-dusted sky, fantastic shapes there and gone at the whim of a wind he can't feel. It's probably warm out, with the frog song rising up from the riverbank as loud as it is. It's a good night for stargazing, but he's distracted. There are too many questions buzzing like mosquitoes in his head.

A suit of armor. Not exactly a common thing to see. Was it one of the same empty suits that Ed had fought in some other military facility? Who was the man it was working with? Why had they gone into one of the labs? Why had Colonel Mustang been after them? Why had the Colonel sent Ed and Lieutenant Breda into the Great Desert? If they'd been in Central would the Colonel and the other subordinate been hurt? How badly hurt are they? What would happen to Ed if Colonel Mustang died?

Alphonse sighs. He ought to know better by now not to have all the answers.

Another week passes. There's nothing else unusual in the news, no interesting gossip, no sign of Ed. It all returns to routine. There are brief, dull reports on all the latest political upsets. The body count in Liore ticks higher and higher. There's been another bloody skirmish on the Cretan border. Terse discussions with Aerugo that resolve nothing. The ongoing tensions with Drachma despite the non-aggression pact. Old news. Amestris has always had a bite as bad as its bark.

He checks in with Granny a few hours each day, listening in on phone calls from Winry when he catches them, relieved that she hasn't gotten into any trouble. She visits the Hughes family each day, babysitting Elicia when Mrs. Hughes' shifts at the hospital run long. She had lunch with Miss Hawkeye a few days after the incident at the Third Lab. There are more MPs running around Central than the last time Winry was there, but if Hawkeye knew why she didn't say. Winry sounds bored and frustrated, but at least she's not in danger. That seems to appease Granny, but they both fret over Ed's continued absence.

Alphonse spends the days as he always does; people watching, bothering the odd pet, gossiping with the odd ghost. There's nothing else to do but wait.

"I'm sick of waiting," he complains to Mrs. Morgenstern one afternoon. He's sat on the edge of the river, curled up with his knees in his chest. Mrs. Morgenstern is out on the water, twirling slow circles in a waltz for one. Her heavy skirts—the reason she drowned that day so long ago, for she insists she was an excellent swimmer despite her age—spin to and fro as she changes directions. She leaves no ripples in her wake across the water's surface.

There's dry amusement in the sidelong glance she shoots him. Weariness too. "Chin up, dear. It's a fine day out."

She doesn't tell him it will get better. She doesn't tell him not to worry. She doesn't tell him to quit whining. She died 41 years ago, far from town on an empty stretch of river between two farms. She knows better than he does how long a day can last.

When she holds out one hand in invitation he joins her, and they while away a few hours dancing. It's much better than sitting there feeling sorry for himself.

Fifteen days and fourteen hours after Ed left, the nine a.m. train pulls into the station five minutes later than expected. Alphonse is in a field not far from the road south of town watching a few near-spherical little birds hop about in the dirt, pecking hopefully here and there for a wayward bug to eat. One of them flaps furiously, giving itself a dust bath and making the others all chatter. Idle curiosity makes him glance at the dissipating streak of coal smoke, but he stays put. Bird watching is more interesting than watching tired adults haul crates back and forth.

But fifteen minutes or so later he hears footsteps, unhurried and unencumbered. Granny's next out-of-towner isn't due until Saturday, she's not expecting another shipment until Monday, and the townsfolk don't normally make the trek all the way out this far. An unexpected visitor? He springs up out of the tall grass to see who it is.

There's a man walking up the road, tall and broad and blond. A man wearing dusty traveling clothes and a pair of glasses that flash in the bright sun. A man with a neatly trimmed beard and long hair gathered back in a long ponytail. A man Alphonse had assumed he would never see again.

"...Dad?"

====

(It’s at this point I feel I ought to mention Ed’s characterization—and injuries—is heavily influenced by the ‘03-verse as well as metisket’s demon alchemist series.)

#fma #fmab #fullmetal alchemist #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood #alphonse elric #my writing #if this breaks on mobile i am so. so. sorry

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eliniei · 6 years ago

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Those Hard Days - Chapter 24

Summary: Rae’s brother always made sure she was tough as nails. But when her father flips her world upside down, will she find that there’s a limit on how strong she can be?

Warnings: Rape/Non-con (non-graphic, fade-to-black), child abuse, underage drinking, underage smoking, drug use, violence, major character death

A/N: This is the end of part 1!

AO3: here Fanfiction.net: here

Masterlist

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Chapter 24 - Rumble

Once the weekend was up and Carrie’s parents returned from their trip, Rae took her duffle of clothes and headed back to Two-Bit’s couch. He told his mom that she’d be staying for an extended amount of time. Mrs. Mathews decided it was high-time to clean out the spare bedroom so she could use it. Together, the three of them started cleaning out the small, spare room where they stored the things left behind when Mr. Mathews left, as well as some holiday decorations.

Dally was back to staying at Buck’s, and it made her feel uneasy again- not seeing him every day, but Rae told herself she was being stupid. Of course he couldn’t just come sleep at Two-Bit’s, too.

After a school day mid-week, she and Carrie said their goodbyes and her friend left with Steven. Two-Bit drove his car home with the promise of meeting her and Ponyboy at the Curtis’s for dinner since his mom wasn’t going to be home until late that night.

A while later, she and her friends were lounging on the couch, catching up on some Mickey when Soda and Darry walked through the door.

“That’s great, little buddy,” the older brother remarked as he set down his work belt onto the coffee table.

“Yeah, I’m really happy with-,” Soda started, but focused his attention on the kids sitting on the couch. “Well, well. Think we picked up a couple of bums, Darry.” He bent over and immediately went for Rae. She squealed and tried to jump out of his grasp, but he started tickling her sides, grinning that award-winning smile of his that made anyone melt. When she tried to jump over Two-Bit, he grabbed her arms and held her there until she was gasping for breath.

The laughter didn’t last for long, though- a tightness in her throat threatened to choke her and a sense of panic twisted her stomach as her arms were clamped to her side and she wasn’t able to move- wasn’t able to get away- and suddenly, she was begging them to stop but they didn’t seem to understand and-

Soda finally retreated, but he was keeled over, hands over his stomach, a pained expression on his red, strained face. Everyone had frozen, all the sound gone from the room. Rae’s eyes widened when she realized in her moment of panic, she must have kicked him to get him to stop.

“Soda, I-I’m-” Two-Bit let go of her arms as she struggled to sit up and reach out to him. “I didn’t mean-” He inhaled a deep breath, trying to straighten himself out.

“It’s okay,” he squeaked out. “Don’t worry about it. Are you okay?”

“It’s...been a while since I felt that kind of…”

"Hey, what smells so good?" Darry yelled from his bedroom. “Did Pony cook?” Soda wheezed a laugh.

“Not likely!” he said with a shaky, but jovial voice, as his older brother walked back into the room. Pony reached out to smack him on the arm. “It was definitely Rae. If Pony had made it, it’d be burnt to a crisp by now.” Soda winked at her, all forgiven and forgotten. The egg timer in the kitchen starting ringing and Rae pulled her hair over one shoulder as she stood up, trying to hide her red face.

"Lasagna," she said, quietly, as she passed the oldest Curtis and went to pull the pasta out of the oven. Ponyboy silently followed her to start setting the table.

“Soda, you okay?” she heard Darry ask as she slipped an oven mitt over her hand, then tuned out the rest of the conversation.

While Rae was slicing their dinner, she heard the door squeal open and various mumbled greetings followed.

“Oh yeah, she’s in the kitchen.”

Dally came around the corner as she was setting the knife down, ready to bring the pan to the dining room. The knot in her stomach eased a bit at the sight of his face.

“Hey, Dally.”

“Hey, kid. Thought I might catch ya’ll here.”

“Stayin’ for dinner?”

“Sure, yeah.” She nodded and went to grab an extra place setting for him.

“It’s ready!” she called out to her friends. Everyone assembled around the small table, grabbing squares of lasagna with a spatula and digging in.

“Sweet Jesus,” Two-Bit moaned, mouth full of pasta. “This is so damn good.”

“So,” Dally started, cutting into his food with his fork. “Ya’ll goin’ to the rumble in Brumly on Friday?”

“There’s a rumble?” Ponybody asked, hopeful, but his older brother’s voice overpowered his.

“Absolutely not,” Darry insisted. “With the state’s eye narrowin’ in on us, we’d better skip it.”

“I was thinkin’ ‘bout takin’ Rae down to-” She perked up at the thought.

“Do you think that’s a good idea, Dally?” Darry wiped his mouth with a paper napkin. “Those Brumly boys- they can get pretty dirty and-”

“Nah, nah,” her brother interrupted. “I made sure skin only.” Darry pursed his lips and didn’t argue, although Rae could see that he really wanted to. He sighed through his nose. “Besides- Shepard’s gang’ll be there too. If anythin’ happens to her, there’ll be three of us against whoever the hell tries to mess with a Winston.”

“I’m sittin’ right here, ya know,” Rae commented, quietly. “Why do ya’ll keep talkin’ as if I ain’t here?” Dally reached over and patted her on the back.

“Sorry, kid. Ya wanna go, right?”

“Well, duh,” she muttered, shifting the remnants of her dinner around on her plate.

“Good kid. It’ll be good for ya, to let off all that steam sittin’ in your hot head.”

“What’s the beef, anyway?” Soda asked once he’d polished off his plate. The color of his face seemed to have goon back to normal, and he didn’t seem to be in pain anymore. Rae sighed internally, relief flooding her.

“I dunno, really,” Dally said with a shrug. “Prob’ly drugs. Them Brumly boys are hittin’ the streets pretty heavy with heroin or some other shit. Wouldn’t be surprised if they sold these rich bastards a bad batch one too many times. Tim just told me about it today- didn’t go into the details. A fight’s a fight’s a fight, am I right?”

When Friday rolled around, Dallas met her at Two-Bit’s house, pumped up and ready for some action.

"No-don’t wear a jacket. It’ll hinder your movement,” Dally ordered his sister as she went to slip into her birthday present. Rae shrugged her shoulders and dropped her jacket on to the bed. She tore the t-shirt off her back and replaced it with a long-sleeved shirt. “And pull your hair back.”

She did as she was told and tied her hair back into a high, tight bun. Didn’t want to give the Socs anything to grab on to. When she was finished, then slipped her knife in the back pocket of her jeans and pulled on her Converse, her stomach tying in nervous knots.

"It stopped rainin’. It should be nice and muddy," her brother said, looking out the window of her new bedroom. He let the sheer, wispy curtains fall back into place and sat down on her bed. “Okay, ground rules. Ya don’t leave my side- unless you’re close to Tim or Curly.”

“Right.”

“Ya better not pull that knife out unless you’re threatened with a weapon first. This ain’t supposed to be a dirty fight. But, that bein’ said, this is Brumly we’re talkin’ about and it could change at any time.”

“Okay.”

“And if ya get hurt- you call one of us and we’ll come help. Got it?”

“Got it,” she said with a nod, and then clamped her lips shut.

"Ya sure you wanna do this?" Dally asked his little sister. “You’re green as hell. Ya ain’t gonna puke on me are ya?” Rae inhaled a deep breath through her nose and let it out, slowly, trying to ease her stomach.

"No-I’m cool," she assured him. "Just a little nervous. First rumble an’ all." He nodded and stood back up.

“Aight, we’d better get movin’ or we’ll miss it.”

They took Buck’s car over and met the other boys at the Shepard house, then headed over to Brumly territory, meeting their gang in the grassy backyard of an abandoned warehouse- a place out of view so that no one called the cops.

A few of the boys eyed her suspiciously- girls didn’t usually participate in the big fights. Dally and Tim shook hands with a few of the boys they recognized, while Curly stuck to her side like glue, his hand resting snug around her wait.

“Don’t pay attention to them. They’ll get over it,” he insisted as they filtered in among the ranks of greasers. She even spotted a few of the harder hoods- part of the River Kings, no doubt. If she weren’t around- and if not for Mr. and Mrs. Curtis- she was sure Dally’d join up with them in a split second. Compared to them, the Curtis outfit was soft as hell.

Their siblings joined them soon after, and once the sun started setting, they heard car engines mixed with shouting approaching from the front of the building. Rae pushed herself off the side of the building she was lounging on. Tim cracked his knuckles.

“Let’s teach these momma’s boys what’s what,” he said, trying to rally them up. Curly touched the small of her back for a moment, trying to calm her nervous shaking.

“You’ll be great,” he whispered into her ear. She gave him a slanted, feline smile. “Atta girl.” He dropped his hand as the rich kids rounded the corner. She crossed her arms over her chest as she watched a burly kid from Brumly walk up to meet who seemed to be the leader of the Soc group.

After exchanging a few words, the first punch was thrown and everything exploded into absolute chaos. The three boys around her jumped right in, but she hung back, eyeing the few left.

When he walked up to her, she recognized him as the kid who’d beat the living hell out of Johnny. The kid who’d wanted to fight her for running into him at the roller rink. The one who tore her dress at the dance. Bob, right? Maybe it was her lucky day. He circled her like a hawk. She could feel the confident arrogance radiating off of him.

"Don't expect me to go easy on you because you're a girl," he said, his words barely reaching her ears over the noise around them. She tilted her head to the side.

"Never expected ya to," she replied, after backing away a few steps when he started getting close. She spit on the ground. He let out a few slow chuckles, a smirk appearing on his smug face.

"And especially don't expect me to go easy on you because your daddy raped you, little girl." Rae’s eyes widened.

Shit.

Part I End

#Rae Winston #Those hard days #The Outsiders #the outsiders fanfiction #outsiders #Dallas Winston #dally winston #Two-Bit Mathews #curly shepard #curly shepard x oc #Tim Shepard #carrie merrill #Steve Randle #darry curtis #Sodapop Curtis #Ponyboy Curtis #Johnny Cade #stay gold ponyboy #stay gold

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pen-masta · 8 years ago

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Peace and Coffee Part 2

Part 2 and almost complete!

1 2 3 4(Complete)

The first video chat was extremely awkward and uncomfortable. He sat scrunched between Tina, Taylor, Haley, Mr. and Mrs. Curtis staring at the computer screen of Joy. He really wanted to be there for the first video chat since she landed in the Philippines. But he couldn’t help feel that after what had happened, it would be extremely painful and weird. So he thought he’d keep his distance and not video chat for awhile.

But Joy doesn’t get her forcefulness and determination from anybody strange. As soon as they found out their sister was going to be calling that Wednesday, her three sisters came and all but dragged Castel to the Curtis house. It was just as painful as he had imagined. A nervous smile plastered on his face and he noted the fact that Joy looked at everyone but him. She was still nice. She told them about the little village she has been stationed in, and that she was enjoying herself so far, and what they were doing for the village and so on.

The second video chat was a little less awkward considering the three sisters were back at their own homes and it was just Mr. and Mrs. Curtis…Castel didn’t go. It wasn’t just a little less awkward, it was a lot less awkward. But it killed him to not speak to her. He desperately needed to know she was okay, more importantly he wanted an opportunity tell her that he and Martha were an official thing. That she didn’t need to worry about what happened in the heat of her leaving. He’d blame it all on the fact that she was leaving, they were both very emotional and their emotions got the better of them.

He had rehearsed it over and over again. But when it came time for the video chat he couldn’t bring himself to see her—still so filled with shame. Mrs. Curtis stopped by the following Tuesday to bring his mom fresh oranges from her shop. Castel happened to sluggishly slink out of his room in search of food when she spotted him. She hugged him and told him about Joy’s last video chat and how she was doing. She didn’t fail to stress how crushed Joy was that he didn’t speak to her last week, and that Joy was hoping he’d come tomorrow to chat.

He was certain his heart would burst from all the construction. He was secretly hoping Joy hated him and he wouldn’t have to face her for a little while longer. But the truth was he was hoping, more so, that she wanted to see him. He smiled and agreed to come by for the video chat. He vowed to himself he’d hold off on the Martha bizz for a little while, he wanted to just talk to his friend that’s all. Nothing else.

After the eighth video chat the awkwardness seemed to dissipate. He’d come over in the early morning for her video chat and half of the time he’d be there with her parents. But soon they’d leave for work giving him the other half of the time to be alone with Joy. Neither of them brought up what had happened the day she shipped out. When she asked about Martha he tentatively told her he had taken her advice and took a leap. He had asked Martha out on a few dates and now they were a legitimate item.

“Oh r-really?” She stuttered a little but smiled hugely. “That’s fantastic Cassie! See I knew my hard work would pay off!” She had laughed and winked at him.

“Yeah, you were right.” He had chuckled, but he noticed there was something hidden behind her smile and in her eyes. He couldn’t make out what it was, but his gut told him it wasn’t her normal, full, overexcited Joy happiness she was known for.

Since then talking has become a lot easier. It’s been several months now since Joy left and their not-so-friendly-kiss feels so long in the past, that it’s almost completely forgotten. He and Martha had become closer the more dates they went on, and soon his fantasies of Joy were replaced with ones of his girlfriend. Feeling as though everything was falling back into a normal state he relaxed and was eagerly waiting for Wednesdays to arrive each week.

He walks into the Curtis house early one morning. It’s almost November and he’s finally got a new machine for cars on the market. Even though he knew a lot about computers he figured he’d start with something more simple than a motherboard upgrade. Cubs Industry was finally taking off and he already had several buyers! But one product wasn’t enough, so he’s been up for the past four days locked in his room trying to bang out another product.

Joy’s video chats happened so early in the morning that he’d roll out of his desk chair and drag his lifeless body over to the Curtis house for coffee. Rather than taking time to get the coffee maker going at his house and miss the small window of seeing Joy he had.

So when he walks into the house Mr. Curtis is already gone for the day and Mrs. Curtis sits at the kitchen table laughing at a computer screen. He hears another laugh and smiles as he walks further into the house. Mrs. Curtis spots him and smiles brightly.

“Cassie! Good morning love!” She laughs and wipes her eyes, “I didn’t even hear you come in dear. I was just listening to a funny story Joy was telling me about.” She grins and spins the laptop around to face Castel.

He grins and waves at the computer screen, “Hey Jo-Jo.”

“Sup dork-a-doo!” She articulates, grinning and waving back at him.

He shrugs and looks at the coffee pot on the kitchen counter, “Is there any—” he starts to ask but Mrs. Curtis cuts him off.

“Yes, yes help yourself dear no need to ask,” she waves dismissively.

“Thank you,” he smiles and walks over to the coffee maker.

A beeping noise hits the air and Mrs. Curtis jumps a little. “Oh sugar!” She pouts and silences her watch, “I’ve got to go.”

She walks over to the door and takes her jacket off the rack. Pulling it on she walks over to Castel who takes a mug down from the cabinet.

“I’ve got to go love,” she says. “Help yourself to anything. You know that.”

“Yes ma’am,” he smiles and turns to her.

She looks him over and grimaces, “You’re a mess Cassie.”

He laughs, “Gosh you sound like my mom.”

“Well you are the son of my best friend,” she grins. “Therefore you are my child as well.” She shakes her head at his wrinkled, grease stained t-shirt and torn up jeans.

“I think you both just like mothering,” he teases and pours the coffee into a mug. “You look for stuff to take care of.”

She rolls her eyes, “Said just like a teenage boy.”

“Well I am one,” he says sarcastically and shrugs. He laughs when she hits his arm and she scowls jokingly.

“Watch your tone young man,” she points her finger at him. “I am your elder.”

“Yes ma’am,” he chuckles and she hugs him.

“You are the son I never had.” She sighs and pulls away. “Eat some actual food today Castel.”

“I’m fueled by caffeine,” he smiles and she shakes her head.

“There’s lunchmeat in the fridge. If I come home and find it has not been eaten, I’m coming to get you.” She threatens. “Capeesh?”

He laughs and nods, “Yes ma’am. I capeesh.”

She smiles and pats his cheek before turning to the computer screen, “Bye bye baby girl.” Mrs. Curtis says and blows a kiss at the computer screen.

“Bye Mommy!” Joy says and blows a kiss back, “Mwwaah!”

Castel smiles and turns back to the cabinet. He hears the front door shut as he reaches up trying to find the sugar cubes. He mutters when his hand comes up empty and he sighs in defeat. His stomach growls loudly and he decides to listen to the instructions of Mrs. Curtis—considering it has been almost forty-eight hours since his last actual meal. He hums ‘50 Ways to Say Goodbye’—it’s been stuck in his head for weeks—as he opens the bread box. He bobs a little as he takes the bread out and turns to the fridge. His humming turns to whistling as he takes the lunchmeat, along with some other sandwich fixings, into his arms. He kicks the fridge door closed and turns around to see Joy’s face still on the computer screen.

He stops whistling and stares at her. He had completely forgotten she was still here…well not here here but.

“Oh,” he says stupidly and she giggles a little.

“Sorry I guess I should have said something,” she smiles knowing he had forgotten.

He smiles despite the warmth he feels spread across his face, “Ah ya think?” He chuckles and sets the food on the counter, abandoning his plan to make a sandwich. Instead he takes a seat at the table smiling at his friend on the laptop’s screen.

She giggles again, “Wow Cassie you look like an exhausted zombified mechanic! Mommy’s right you’re a hot mess dude!” She runs her hand along her jawbone, “You got a hefty beard going on there. When was the last time you showered?”

He shrugs, “I’ve been busy.” In truth he’s lost track…

“Ya nasty!” She wrinkles her nose and shakes her head. “So, what have been up to Mister Zombie Man?”

He smiles and shrugs again, “Eh new products, tinkering, gnawing on some guy’s temporal lobe. The youzhe.”

She giggles again and the beautiful ring causes his insides to flutter. Stop. Stop it. Control yourself Cubs.

“So business is good, huh?” She asks.

“Yes, yes very good.” He grins, “I’ve actually been asked to appear for a press conference Friday.” He puffs his chest and wipes his thumb across his nose, “Seeing as I’m the youngest engineer to build his own company in such a short time period.”

She narrows her eyes and smirks, “Wowie someone’s getting a little full of himself.”

“No, no.” He shakes his head, “No my dear Jo-Jo I am merely stating a fact. If I were full of myself I would have said they are calling me the Combative Clever Crafty Cub that’s taking the World by Storm.” He says in mock arrogance.

She snorts and covers her mouth as they both cackle loud with gleeful hearty laughter together. Their mirth slowly dies down and she smiles sweetly at him.

“So three months down,” he grins.

“And only a bazillion jillion million to go,” she huffs and juts her bottom lip out in a pout.

“Hey now,” he shakes his head leaning on his arms on the table. “It’s just like you said. It’ll go by fast, you’ll be back before you know it.” He smiles kindly. “And I’ll be right here waiting for ya.”

She smiles again, comforted by his words. “You better be, Casper.”

He chuckles deeply, “You have my word Jo-Jo.”

She smiles looking back at her childhood friend. His face is covered in dark brown hair; his unruly curls hang down just brushing against his eyebrows—and by the way it stands in different directions he’s just rolled out of bed. His deep chocolate colored eyes smile kindly at her, the red tint to his white sclera tells her it’s been at least four days since he’s slept. The way the light is hitting his face, makes his eyes look like more of a milk chocolaty color…a very russet brandy dandy new bright shiny penny color. She smiles a little at how the bright brown is complimented by the profoundly dark black endless pools of his pupils.

Her eyes travel down his face and for the first time she notices how chiseled his facial features are. The baby fat has completely dropped from his face and his cheek bones are very prominent now; that little scar by his left eye nearly unnoticeable behind his disheveled hair. His jawbone is cut so sharply as it leads down his neck where his very large and round Adam’s apple sits—perfectly parallel with his chin. The crisp caramel tone of his skin is all but gone now that summer is over, leaving his skin with a light tan.

She marvels at how different he looks with the curly, thick, whiskers that line his cheeks, his chin, and under his nose. Her eyes stop at his lips for a brief second. Their…good bye flashes in her head. His red round hard lips pressed so fiercely against hers. They were so strong and firm, yet they were also very soft and smooth at the same time. She wonders if that had been caused from all the years of trumpet playing. She remembers how broad his shoulders felt under her hands.

She could feel every curve of the muscles he had in his back, his chest, his sides, his strong arms locked around her. He had really honed his body over the years many summers spent mowing lawns and chopping wood with his dad. The kickboxing lessons he had started when he was thirteen, and years upon years of wrestling with his brothers all played a role in grooming his bod into what it is today. When did her dork start looking…well…hot? And why hadn’t she noticed it before? Sure, she knew boys changed in different ways than girls but…dang! The goof looking back at her was a huge chunk of sweet, sweet eye candy! Woof Cassie!

She starts to lose herself in the replay of him on top of her, the way he had growled before taking her challenge for control. The way his body moved against hers had stirred something in her. Something she’d never felt before. His voice is deep as it is—the cracking changes on every other syllable had been banished by his body years ago—but it sounded even lower in her ears as he growled in such a feral way. It caused her stomach to do summersaults.

Even now just thinking about it her belly is tightening and swirling, heart starting to beat faster at thoughts of wanting to do…whatever it was they had done…again. To have his rough cautious hands running over her. His lips devouring hers, his tongue snaking into her mouth grazing hers. His teeth biting in such an aggressive yet gentle way. His hips fitting so perfectly into hers. His deep voice growling and moaning in pleasure. His—wow hey now! Slow your roll there, girl! Back it up a little!

She takes a quick breath reminding herself, this is her best friend she’s thinking about. Her best friend who she had done something with that you don’t really do with your best friend. But batter on a corn dog! Can you blame her! The way he had followed her lips so feverishly, who wouldn’t get a little heated?

No! No, best friend here. Hi! Welcome back Joy! You don’t do, much less, think about doing things like that with you BFF! Your dude man! Your goofy cute dork-a-doo. Your sweet adorable nerd. Your really hot handsome home slice…ugh! Ok Joy we all get it! Cassie has really filled out, alright? He’s really grown into his body. He’s very much grown, it’s just a fact, just as his hair is brown. No need to make it into a big deal. Let it go girl!

She sighs a little as ‘Let It Go’ plays through her mind briefly. Best friend. Best. Friend. Cassie. Casanova. Casper. Casinator. Cassie-role. C-bear. Best friend…yeah. Best friend who has a girlfriend. Girlfriend! Cassie has Martha now! He had finally jumped! She should be proud of him. She is proud of him! Her lips quirk into a little smile at that thought.

He’s finally coming out of his shell, and now he’s got Martha. And Martha has him…she sure is one lucky duckling to have Cassie! Just wait until they start making out, wowie will she get a surprise! Under all that nerdy dorkiness is a very passionate kisser! Ha ha! Brace yourself chica!…speaking of Martha.

“Hey! How’s Martha?” She asks smiling brightly.

His eyes widen and sparkle with excitement, and if it’s at all possible his eyes get brighter in color. “She’s good. Three months as of yesterday!” He smiles like a kid in a candy shop, showing his pearly white teeth.

She smiles feeling pleased that she’s the reason for his glee about his first GF. Smiling brighter she throws her arms in the air, and says triumphantly, “I am the Master Match Maker!”

He chuckles and nods, “Indeed you are J-bird.” He tilts his head, “I don’t believe I ever thanked you for your help.”

“No you haven’t Sir,” she huffs playfully and rolls her eyes. “Rude!”

“Forgive me Master Match Maker!” He grins, “What do I owe you for your services?”

“Hmmmm,” she hums and taps her chin. “Dinner.”

“Dinner?” He raises a brow.

“Dinner sounds fantastic Cassie!” She says her eyes widening, “How thoughtful of you Casanova!”

He laughs and shakes his head, “Ah you know me.”

“This is a very true fact,” she nods. “You pick and we’ll go when I get back, ‘kay?”

“Only if I can throw in some ski ball.” He smirks and she giggles.

She sighs dramatically, “I suppose I’ll allow it.” She sticks her tongue out at him and he chuckles.

“Sounds good.” He smiles, “Enough about me. How are you Jo-Jo?”

“I’m good Cassie-role,” she grins brightly. To the untrained ear she does sounds good. She sounds fine. But his ears are skilled. He hears the catch in her voice, it’s very slight ever so slight. Joy is a master at hiding her emotions—more so than he is.

His bright smile falls into a concerned grin, “What’s wrong Joy?” He asks without hesitation.

Her smile falters majorly but she manages holds her lips up, “What? Nothing! I’m as dandy as candy!” She laughs and closes her eyes for a moment, “Mmmmm candy!” She hums thinking fondly of strawberry liquorish, butterscotch hard candies, and caramel squares—her three favorite candies that they did not have in the Philippines. He grimaces a little—she only ever used that saying when she was trying to not only convince you but herself as well. Not good. It must be bad.

“Joy,” he says gently. “What’s eatin’ you?”

She looks a little shaken that he’s caught her and her eyes dart down away from his face. She chews her bottom lip and shrugs, “It’s nothing really. I’m really enjoying it here, I am. I know what we’re doing here, and I really like knowing that I’m helping. Doing my part, you know?” She looks up at him again.

“But?” He questions.

She pauses and bites her bottom lip again, “But…I’m not with my host family anymore. And it’s difficult not really knowing anyone. I was just starting to know my host family, too. And…it’s really lonely here.” She looks down again, “The day is fine. During the day I’m busy, so my thoughts are busy but at night…” she looks at him and his heart stops at the look in her eyes.

It’s a mixture of sadness, longing, desperation, and a searing crave. His lips fall into a flat line as his heart rate speeds back to life at such a fast pace that his hands start to shake. He’s never—in all the years of knowing her—he’s never seen that look. His brain catches fire trying to make sense of the look. There’s so much emotion in this one look. So many different sensations jutting in different directions, that for the first time in his life…he can’t read how she’s feeling.

“It gets…really, really, really lonely at night.” She says slowly at the volume of a whisper.

He swallows hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing fiercely. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.

They haven’t talked about it. And part of her doesn’t want to bring it up. Ever. But the other, much large part, is pleading to bring it up. It’s been three months for ding dang sake! And it’s still haunting her! She hasn’t had a full nights sleep since the cataclysmic event! She needs to bring it up. She needs to talk about it. Just to get some kind of release! Trying to repress the whole thing it…it isn’t healthy! They need to talk. That’s what they’ve always done when something was bothering them, they talked it out. Although this is a different kind of bother…but a bother nonetheless! And she can’t take it anymore! Acting like it didn’t happen. She needs to say something. For the sake of her sanity! For the sake of her sleep! For the sake of…their friendship!

She breaths out deeply before her caramel…almost golden eyes look back at him.

“Castel.” She says.

No. He thinks as he starts to hear sirens ring in his head, No! No, no, no, no! Don’t do this! No, don’t wake this Joy! Not now! It’s going okay! Please, I beg you! Not yet! Not like this! Mercy! Please!!!!!

“Yes?” He squeaks out, his vocal chords betraying him causing his voice to crack in a way it hasn’t since he was twelve.

She stares at him in silence a new emotion coming into her eyes—fear. She clears her throat, her cheeks reddening. “Cassie. I…I need to…can we…you don’t…” she huffs in frustration trying her hardest to gather her thought.

Form words into sentences Joy. She tells herself in her head. She closes her eyes again, Breath. Just breath. You can do this. It’s Cassie. It’s just Cassie. You can do this…do it fast. Like ripping off a band-aid…yeah just like a band-aid…do it. Do. It.…Do it now!

Her eyes snap back open staring at his deep chocolate worried eyes. She opens her mouth ready to spew out what has been eating her for these long, painful three months. He sits there, heart pounding blood into his ears, his knuckles white as the clutch the edge of his seat. He’s biting the inside of his cheek to keep from screaming, trying his hardest to brace himself for the worst.

But then her eyes flicker to something off the screen. Her face falls immediately, her eyes close, her eyebrows scrunch and she sighs, “Oh, crap on a cracker! My time is up!” She opens her eyes again, “I’ve got to go Cassie. I’ll call again next week, alright?”

“Alright,” he nods and the sirens stopping.

“Love you!” She rushes to say before the screen goes black.

He sits there staring at the now black screen. Carefully he eases his ghost white fingers open to release the chair. Slowly opening and closing his hands to get blood pumping back through them, he sits there haunted by what just happened. He knew she was going to talk about it…but what was she going to say exactly? He was preparing for the end of his world, but was she really going to say something so catastrophically earth shaking? Was he overthinking this? She had kissed him back after all, could she really be that appalled?

Was she even appalled at all? They never talked about it so he has no way of knowing how she really felt. All he has is his assumptions…but that look of horror! He’s revolted by himself. How could he do that to his best friend! Who does that? No, there’s no way she’s not upset about what happened. There’s no way she feels the same as he does, whatever she was going to say it wasn’t going to be good.

What was he hoping for? That she’d say she liked it? That she’d say that she loved him…in a more intimate way than just friends? That she had been replaying it in her head, wanting to be in the moment again? Pa-lease Cassie! Get real man! Wake up and stop daydreaming! The reality is she is your best friend. Your best friend who you did something with that you should NEVER do with your best friend. And now you’ve terrified her! The only way to fix this is to not give it any attention. Don’t bring it up. Don’t think about it. Distractions. Work. Business. Tinkering. Family. Martha.

He sits there for what feels like years before he breaths out, “Love you too.”

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papermoonloveslucy · 7 years ago

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MR. & MRS. aka THE LUCILLE BALL COMEDY HOUR

April 19, 1964

Directed by Jack Donohue ~ Written by Richard Powell, based on the play by Sherwood Schwartz, with special material by Arthur Julian

Synopsis

Lucille Ball plays the head of a studio trying to track down Bob Hope to star in a TV special about husband and wife television stars. The first half concerns Lucy's tracking the elusive Hope all around the world. The second half presents the special that they eventually do together.

Cast

Lucille Ball (’Herself’ / Bonnie Blakely) was born on August 6, 1911 in Jamestown, New York. She began her screen career in 1933 and was known in Hollywood as ‘Queen of the B’s’ due to her many appearances in ‘B’ movies. With Richard Denning, she starred in a radio program titled “My Favorite Husband” which eventually led to the creation of “I Love Lucy,” a television situation comedy in which she co-starred with her real-life husband, Latin bandleader Desi Arnaz. The program was phenomenally successful, allowing the couple to purchase what was once RKO Studios, re-naming it Desilu. When the show ended in 1960 (in an hour-long format known as “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour”) so did Lucy and Desi’s marriage. In 1962, hoping to keep Desilu financially solvent, Lucy returned to the sitcom format with “The Lucy Show,” which lasted six seasons. She followed that with a similar sitcom “Here’s Lucy” co-starring with her real-life children, Lucie and Desi Jr., as well as Gale Gordon, who had joined the cast of “The Lucy Show” during season two. Before her death in 1989, Lucy made one more attempt at a sitcom with “Life With Lucy,” also with Gordon.

‘Lucille Ball’ is the president of Consolidated Pictures. Bonnie Blakely is a television star.

Bob Hope (’Himself’ / Bill Blakely) was born Lesley Townes Hope in England in 1903. During his extensive career in virtually all forms of media he received five honorary Academy Awards. In 1945, Desi Arnaz was the orchestra leader on Bob Hope’s radio show. Ball and Hope did four films together. He appeared as himself on the season 6 opener of “I Love Lucy.” He did a brief cameo in a 1964 episode of “The Lucy Show.” He died in 2003 at age 100.

Bill Blakely is a television star.

Gale Gordon (Elliott Harvey) was said to be the highest paid radio artist of the 1930’s and was in such demand that he often did two or more radio shows a day. His professional collaboration with Lucille Ball started in 1938 as the announcer of Jack Haley’s “The Wonder Show” (Wonder Bread was their sponsor). He played Mr. Atterbury on Lucy’s “My Favorite Husband” and was a front-runner for the part of Fred Mertz on “I Love Lucy.” When scheduling prevented his participation, he appeared as Mr. Littlefield, the Tropicana’s owner in two episodes of the show. In addition to Mr. Littlefield, he played a Judge in “Lucy Makes Room for Danny,” a 1958 episode of “The Lucy–Desi Comedy Hour.” “The Lucy Show” solidified his partnership with Lucille Ball for the rest of their careers. He went on to play Harrison Otis Carter in “Here’s Lucy” and Curtis McGibbon in “Life with Lucy.” He died in 1995 at the age of 89.

Mr. Harvey is the Chairman of the Board of Consolidated Pictures.

John Dehner (Mr. Henderson, below right) was seen alongside Ball and Hope in Critic's Choice, released the year before this special. Dehner's career started in 1941 and lasted until 1989, amassing nearly three hundred screen credits. He died in 1992 at age 76.

Mr. Henderson is a full partner in the ad agency Henderson Grisby Beane and Smith.

William Lanteau (Mr. Potter, above left) first appeared with Lucille Ball in The Facts of Life (1960). In addition to an episode of “The Lucy Show,” Lanteau did four episodes of “Here’s Lucy.” He is best remembered for playing Charlie the Mailman in the play and the film On Golden Pond (1981).

Mr. Potter works for Henderson Grisby Beane and Smith.

Jack Weston (Cash) started acting on television one month after the premiere of “I Love Lucy” in 1951. He made three appearances on “The Westinghouse-Desilu Playhouse” from 1958 to 1960. Weston's final screen credit was Short Circuit 2 in 1988. He died in 1996 at age 71.

Cash is Bonnie and Bill's agent and manager.

Max Showalter (Walter Creighton) was born in Kansas in 1917. He got the acting bug as a toddler when mother took him to the local theater where she played piano for silent movies. He acted in 92 shows at the Pasadena Playhouse between 1935 and 1938 and made his Broadway debut in Knights of Song. On Broadway he played the role of Horace Vandergelder in Hello, Dolly! more than 3,000 times opposite such luminaries as Carol Channing, Betty Grable, and Ginger Rogers. Showalter made more than a thousand TV and film appearances. He was seen on two episodes of “The Lucy Show.” Toward the end of his life he lived in Connecticut and died there in 2000.

Walter is Bonnie's fiancee, masquerading as her brother.

Joseph Mell (Sam) played Bailiffs in “Lucy the Meter Maid” (TLS S3;E7) and “Lucy is Her Own Lawyer” (TLS S2;E23). His first role on “The Lucy Show” was as a Butcher in “Together for Christmas” (S1;E13). Mell also appeared in a 1969 episode of “Here’s Lucy.” In 1971, he was a Taxi Driver on “Lucy and the Lecher,” a cross-over episode of Danny Thomas’s “Make Room for Granddaddy” in which Lucille Ball played Lucy Carter, her character from “Here’s Lucy.”

Sam is a tailor working for Lucille Ball.

Sid Gould (Sid) made more than 45 appearances on “The Lucy Show,” all as background characters. He also did nearly 50 episodes of “Here’s Lucy.” Gould (born Sydney Greenfader) was Lucille Ball’s cousin by marriage to Gary Morton. He was married to Vanda Barra, who also appeared on “The Lucy Show” and “Here’s Lucy.”

Sid is a composer working for Lucille Ball.

Eddie Ryder (Mike) appeared as Bones Snodgrass on the “Our Miss Brooks” (also starring Gale Gordon) from 1953-54 under the name Eddie Riley. He was also seen in “Lucy and the Submarine” (TLS S5;E22) in 1966. From 1961 to 1966 Ryder played Dr. Simon Agurski in 22 episodes of “Dr. Kildare.” He died in 1997 at age 74.

Mike is an executive at Consolidated Pictures. Ryder is the only actor who gets a final credit using his character name (“Eddie Ryder as Mike”), but the name is never spoken aloud in the show.

Danny Klega (Russian Translator) was a Czech-born actor who was often cast as German. His first screen credit was 1962's The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse and his last was 1970's Which Way to the Front? He died in 2015 at age 91.

John Banner (Lieutenant Gitterman, German Border Guard, below left) was born in Vienna in 1910. He achieved television immortality for his portrayal of the POW camp guard Sergeant Schultz in the TV series “Hogan’s Heroes.” Ironically, Banner was a Jew and had been in a German concentration camp himself. He was in all 168 episodes of the series, the only actor aside from leading man Bob Crane to have that distinction. His catchphrase as Schultz was “I know nothing!” which he repeated in a cameo as Schultz on “Lucy and Bob Crane” (TLS S4;E22) in 1966. He died in his home city of Vienna in 1973.

Gitterman was also the name used for Hans Conreid's acting and music professor character on “The Lucy Show.”

Rudy Dolan (German Border Guard #2, above right) was active from 1957 to 1964, often cast as policemen and other officials.

Sally Mills (TWA Flight Attendant) played small roles on television from 1961 to 1971, appearing on Desilu's “The Andy Griffith Show” and “Gomer Pyle: USMC.” For eight years, Mills was a spokesperson for Safeway Supermarkets.

Stanley Farrar (Consolidated Board Member) was seen on “I Love Lucy” in “Home Movies” (ILL S3;E20) where he played a character named Bennett Green, who actually appears with him on this special and “Staten Island Ferry” (ILL S5;E12). He was seen in two celebrity-themed episodes of “The Lucy Show” in 1964 and 1965, one of which also starred Max Showalter, who appears in this special.

Bennett Green (Consolidated Board Member, uncredited) was Desi Arnaz’s camera and lighting stand-in during “I Love Lucy.” He did frequent background work on “The Lucy Show.”

Joan Swift (Consolidated Board Secretary, uncredited) made six appearances on the “The Lucy Show” as well as two episodes of “Here’s Lucy.” Her final screen credit was in “Lucy's Gets Lucky” in 1975.

Charles Field

Roy Rowan (Announcer, uncredited) was the announcer for all of Lucille Ball's sitcoms. He even made a a couple of on camera appearances on “The Lucy Show.”

During contractual negotiations with CBS for a second season of “The Lucy Show,” Lucille Ball signed for $30,000 to co-star in “The Lucille Ball Comedy Hour” to be aired in the spring of 1964.

This special was broadcast in color, one of Lucy's first major appearances in color on television. Although “The Lucy Show” had started filming in color in the fall of 1963, CBS declined to air the series in color until September 1965.

On ABC, the second half hour of “Mr. and Mrs.” was up against an episode of “Arrest and Trial” that also starred Jack Weston. Meanwhile, NBC ran a show starring another funny redhead, Imogene Coca, in “Grindl.” The special's lead-in was another Sherwood Schwartz show, “My Favorite Martian.”

Director Jack Donohue also served in the same capacity for 107 episodes of “The Lucy Show,” and 35 of “Here’s Lucy.” His final screen credit was “Lucy Gets Lucky” in 1980.

The day after this special premiered, CBS aired “Lucy Is a Process Server” (TLS S2;E27), also directed by Jack Donohue and co-starring Gale Gordon.

“Mr. and Mrs.” is based on an un-produced full-length stage play of the same name by Sherwood Schwartz. It was boiled down to 30 minutes by Richard Powell (teleplay) with special material by Arthur Julian, who were both writers for Red Skelton during the 1950s. Sherwood Schwartz won his only Primetime Emmy Award in 1961 as the head writer for “The Red Skelton Hour.” Schwartz was the creative genius behind “The Brady Bunch” (1969-74) and “Gilligan's Island,” which would start airing in the fall of 1964. “The Brady Bunch” was based in part on Lucille Ball's film Yours, Mine and Ours (1968). Ball declined to make the TV version, opting instead to do “Here's Lucy.” At age 90, after his TV successes, Schwartz returned to writing for the theatre with Rockers, a play about a retirement home.

Lucille Ball's gowns for the special were by the Oscar-winning Edith Head. Head had dressed Lucille Ball in both of her film collaborations with Bob Hope, Critic's Choice (1963) and The Facts of Life (1960). Della Fox was the costumer and Kenneth Westcott was the props master, both of whom also worked on “The Lucy Show.” Lucille Ball's usual hairstylist Irma Kusely and make-up artist Hal King were also involved in this special. Jess Oppenheimer, creator and longtime producer/head-writer of “I Love Lucy,” served as Executive Producer.

Once, during rehearsal, Bob Hope got too close to the camera, a fact promptly noted by director Jack Donohue. Ball roughly shoved Hope to his proper mark. “Lucy,” said Donohue soothingly, “Please don't touch the actors. You never know where they've been.” A little later, when Ball had her way with the handling of a scene, Hope said, “That's what I like to work with—pliable producers and flexible directors.” This story appeared in the 1993 book Desilu: The Story of Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz by Steven Sanders and Tom Gilbert.

Bob Hope and Lucille Ball rehearsed three full days, just as she would have her regular half-hour television series. The show was then filmed before a live studio audience with three cameras recording the action and a laugh track added later to 'sweeten' the comedy. The next day, Hope returned to film the single jungle scene in which Ball finally locates him. The wrap-around story was true-to-life, not only because it depicted Lucy as the president of a major studio (albeit not named Desilu), but because it featured Bob as a world-traveler. Known in show-business circles as "Rapid Robert," Hope was famous for dashing from a movie set to a benefit to a television special – all in different cities. The day before Hope reported to Desilu for rehearsals, he was in Washington on behalf of the 1964 Easter Seals campaign. He had flown there after finishing a one-hour segment of his own Chrysler TV series. As soon as he finished his stint with Lucy, he was off to promote his latest movie. "While I'm flying across the country," Hope quipped at the time, "Lucy will be talking about me. That's why it's a coveted role." Lucy had her say in the matter: "All those scenes showing me trying to catch up with Bob is from real life. If the world only knew what I went through to get him on this stage to work with me in this project!"

In the special Lucille Ball is the President of Consolidated Studios. Mr. Harvey (Gale Gordon) is the chairman of the board and represents a bank that has extended a significant loan to the studio. Gale Gordon was also playing a banker named Mr. Mooney on “The Lucy Show” when the special was filmed.

Lucy: “Just because I'm an actress does not mean I'm not a good president!”

The wardrobe designer in Lucy's busy office is holding the actual Edith Head costume renderings for Lucille Ball's outfits in the special.

After doing some checking behind Lucy's back, Mr. Harvey discovers that Bob Hope is not available until the week of July 4, 1976, after he emcees the 200th Anniversary of America's Independence. Twelve years later, the writers were proved absolutely right when Bob Hope hosted the NBC TV special “Bob Hope's Bicentennial Star Spangled Spectacular” on July 4, 1976.

SAN FRANCISCO

Mr. Harvey and Lucy fly to San Francisco to track down Bob Hope. Footage of a jet landing was supplied courtesy of TWA, a carrier that went out of business in 2001.

Lucy: “This is not business, it's show business.” Mr. Harvey: “Business is business.”

In San Francisco, the TWA flight attendant mistakes Mr. Harvey for Gary Morton, Lucy's real-life husband. She says she saw him on “The Ed Sullivan Show.” Morton made two appearances on “Ed Sullivan,” in 1961 and 1962, but it is hard to fathom how anyone could visually mistake Gale Gordon for Gary Morton. The Flight Attendant informs them that Bob Hope was in first class, while they were in coach, but he was rushed aboard an Army bomber across the tarmac headed for...

ALASKA

Lucy and Mr. Harvey travel to Alaska to track him down using a dog sled. This is not the first time Lucille Ball has done scenes set in the 50th state. In “Lucy Goes To Alaska,” a 1959 episode of “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour” when the Ricardos and Mertzes flew there to perform with Red Skelton (coincidentally) in honor of their recent statehood. In Alaska, Lucy and Mr. Harvey find out Bob Hope has already gone to...

MOSCOW

In a Kremlin office, a translator tells a man with his back to us that Lucy and Mr. Harvey are looking for Bob Hope. The unseen man laughs and pounds a shoe on his desk. During a 1960 meeting at the United Nations, Soviet Leader Khrushchev pounded his shoe on his desk in protest of a speech by Philippine delegate Lorenzo Sumulong.

The translator shows off an autographed copy of Bob Hope's new book. This is a plug for Hope's 1963 book I Owe Russia $1,200, which Hope wrote with ghostwriter Mort Lachman after his trip to Russia. Lucy and Mr. Harvey learn that Bob Hope just left Moscow headed to...

GERMANY

Lucy and Mr. Harvey cross the border into Germany driving a single scooter. The two other vehicles in the studio-filmed scene are Volkswagens, naturally. The guards (one of them “Hogan's Heroes” star John Banner, who did a cameo as Sergeant Schultz on a 1966 “The Lucy Show”) tell them that Bob Hope has already been through and gone on to the airport to...

THE PHILIPPINES

In a jungle clearing, holding a golf club, Bob Hope is finally found singing “Thanks for the Memory” to a group of American GIs in camouflage gear. The song was written in 1938 by Ralph Rainger and Leo Robin for the film The Big Broadcast of 1938 starring Hope and Dorothy Lamour. It became associated with Bob Hope, who used it as his theme song. He sang it at the end of his guest-appearance on “I Love Lucy” in 1956 and during his cameo in “Lucy Moves to NBC” in 1980.

As Lucy explains the script of the special to Hope amid a downpour, the show cross-fades to the first scene of...

“MR. & MRS.”

starring Lucille Ball and Bob Hope as Bonnie and Bill Blakely, the stars of America's number one television show.

Fighting off autograph seekers to get through their front door of their swanky Manhattan apartment, Bill says “I signed mine 'Ringo'.” He is referring to Ringo Starr, one of the Beatles. In 1964 they became an international success when they made their first appearance on “The Ed Sullivan Show.” The same date this special aired in the USA, “Around the Beatles” was taped at Wembley Stadium for ITV in England. It was aired in America on November 15, 1964.

Bill brags that a Cleveland newspaper compared him with Cary Grant. Grant’s name was often mentioned on “I Love Lucy” during their stay in Hollywood.

Walter tells Cash he works at Peerless Department Store in Newark. His father owns the store. (This implies that “Mr. and Mrs.” takes place in New York City, not Hollywood, where most TV shows are shot today.) They are opening a branch of their store in Japan, which will keep Walter out of the country for several months.

To boost ratings the ad agency wants Bonnie and Bill to have a baby as their characters and in real life.

Bonnie (indignant): “Having a child happens to be an act of God.” Mr. Henderson: “We cleared this with the sponsor.”

Bonnie and Walter head for the door to go to the opera.

Mr. Henderson: “Bonnie, please. The sponsor is expecting a baby.” Bonnie: “I'll throw him a shower.”

When Lucy Ricardo was to give birth on “I Love Lucy” in 1953, the story line had to be approved by the sponsor and the network. Lucy Ricardo and Lucille Ball gave birth at the same time – with the episode timed to coincide with Ball's Cesarean. Lucy and Ethel also threw a 'daddy shower' for Ricky, to make him feel more a part of her pregnancy.

Eight months later, Bonnie comes waddling into the living room extremely pregnant. The underscoring plays "Funeral March of a Marionette” written by Charles Gounod around 1879. It is probably more familiar as the theme tune of “Alfred Hitchcock Presents” (1955). Ball makes sure she stands in profile so the joke visually pays off. The tune was also used during “Little Ricky's Pageant” (ILL S6;E10) in 1956 during the entrance of the gnomes.

Lucille Ball does the same physical comedy business to lower herself into a chair that she did as pregnant Lucy Ricardo. The Blakely apartment is a mess with baby items and various gifts from fans. Bonnie claims they've received 300 pair of baby socks.

Walter thinks Bill is the father and Bill thinks Walter is the father. They realize that Bonnie is not really pregnant after all. Lucy Carter will also fake her pregnancy (using a well-placed pillow) in “Lucy, the Part-Time Wife” (HL S3;E14, above) in 1970. While filming “Mr. and Mrs.” Lucille Ball was 52 years old.

Thinking Bonnie is actually with child, Henderson's agency runs a contest to name the baby. The winning names are Gunther and Pandora.

Oops! John Dehner (Mr. Henderson) says that name of his firm is “Henderson Beane Grisby and Smith” instead of what Lucy previously said, “Henderson Grisby Beane and Smith.” When Bob Hope mentions the firm, he gets the names in the same order as Dehner, so likely Lucy is the one who jumbled the list.

A couple of times, it is apparent that Bob Hope is looking at cue cards, not unusual for “rapid Robert” who had little time for memorizing lines.

As Bonnie and Bill kiss, the scene becomes the Consolidated Board of Directors watching the special in a screening room. Lucy enters dressed like a tramp, something she also did with Red Skelton in “Lucy Goes To Alaska” in 1959. The flower in her lapel squirts water in Mr. Harvey's face and the credits roll.

This Date in Lucy History – April 19th

"The Black Wig" (ILL S3;E26) – April 19, 1954

The first half of this rarely seen special is oddly different from the second. Lucy and Gale Gordon’s comic travelogue on ‘the search for Hope’ is clever and often laugh out loud funny. But the second half, boiled down from Sherwood Schwartz’s play, is a bit less engaging. The half hour starts well enough, but fizzles and feels very stage-bound. Still, lots of fun and an interesting footnote to “The Lucy Show” years.

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papermoonloveslucy · 4 years ago

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LIZ TEACHES IRIS TO DRIVE

January 13, 1950

“Liz Teaches Iris To Drive” is episode #71 of the radio series MY FAVORITE HUSBAND broadcast on January 13, 1950.

Synopsis ~ The Atterburys have bought a new car but Rudolph refuses to teach Iris how to drive. Liz readily volunteers to be Iris's driving instructor.

This was the 20th episode of the second season of MY FAVORITE HUSBAND, the second of the new year and of the new decade (1950). There were 43 new episodes, with the season ending on June 25, 1950.

This episode served as the basis for “Lucy Learns To Drive” (ILL S4;E12), filmed October 28, 1954, and first aired on January 3, 1955.

“My Favorite Husband” was based on the novels Mr. and Mrs. Cugat, the Record of a Happy Marriage (1940) and Outside Eden (1945) by Isabel Scott Rorick, which had previously been adapted into the film Are Husbands Necessary? (1942). “My Favorite Husband” was first broadcast as a one-time special on July 5, 1948. Lucille Ball and Lee Bowman played the characters of Liz and George Cugat, and a positive response to this broadcast convinced CBS to launch “My Favorite Husband” as a series. Bowman was not available Richard Denning was cast as George. On January 7, 1949, confusion with bandleader Xavier Cugat prompted a name change to Cooper. On this same episode Jell-O became its sponsor. A total of 124 episodes of the program aired from July 23, 1948 through March 31, 1951. After about ten episodes had been written, writers Fox and Davenport departed and three new writers took over – Bob Carroll, Jr., Madelyn Pugh, and head writer/producer Jess Oppenheimer. In March 1949 Gale Gordon took over the existing role of George’s boss, Rudolph Atterbury, and Bea Benaderet was added as his wife, Iris. CBS brought “My Favorite Husband” to television in 1953, starring Joan Caulfield and Barry Nelson as Liz and George Cooper. The television version ran two-and-a-half seasons, from September 1953 through December 1955, running concurrently with “I Love Lucy.” It was produced live at CBS Television City for most of its run, until switching to film for a truncated third season filmed (ironically) at Desilu and recasting Liz Cooper with Vanessa Brown.

MAIN CAST

Bea Benadaret (Iris Atterbury) was considered the front-runner to be cast as Ethel Mertz but when “I Love Lucy” was ready to start production she was already playing a similar role on TV’s “The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show” so Vivian Vance was cast instead. On “I Love Lucy” she was cast as Lucy Ricardo’s spinster neighbor, Miss Lewis, in “Lucy Plays Cupid” (ILL S1;E15) in early 1952. Later, she was a success in her own show, “Petticoat Junction” as Shady Rest Hotel proprietress Kate Bradley. She starred in the series until her death in 1968.

Ruth Perrott (Katie, the Maid) was also later seen on “I Love Lucy.” She first played Mrs. Pomerantz, a member of the surprise investigating committee for the Society Matrons League in “Pioneer Women” (ILL S1;E25), as one of the member of the Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts League in “Lucy and Ethel Buy the Same Dress” (ILL S3;E3), and also played a nurse when “Lucy Goes to the Hospital” (ILL S2;E16). She died in 1996 at the age of 96.

GUEST CAST

Frank Nelson (Mr. Rogers, Insurance Adjuster) was born on May 6, 1911 (three months before Lucille Ball) in Colorado Springs, Colorado. He started working as a radio announcer at the age of 15. He later appeared on such popular radio shows as “The Great Gildersleeve,” “Burns and Allen,” and “Fibber McGee & Molly”. This is one of his 11 performances on “My Favorite Husband.” On “I Love Lucy” he holds the distinction of being the only actor to play two recurring roles: Freddie Fillmore and Ralph Ramsey, as well as six one-off characters, including the frazzled train conductor in “The Great Train Robbery” (ILL S5;E5), a character he repeated on “The Lucy Show.” Aside from Lucille Ball, Nelson is perhaps most associated with Jack Benny and was a fifteen-year regular on his radio and television programs.

EPISODE

ANNOUNCER: “As we look in on the Coopers, it’s early evening and they’ve just finished dinner.”

George tells Liz that Mr. Atterbury has bought a new car and is coming over to take them for a drive. Liz laments that they can’t afford a new car, too. George insists the they have a perfectly good car already.

LIZ: “It needs fixing. The isinglass curtains are all shot and we need new wicks in the headlamps.”

Liz is facetiously describing early automobiles (and previous to that, horse-drawn carriages) that were fitted with clear celluloid side curtains that acted as windows, although they were not actually made of isinglass, as purported. Headlamps were battery operated, not candle powered, as Liz suggests.

Liz says that because the battery is always going dead, she has to hang out of the car and push it like a scooter!

LIZ: “I’ve got a right leg like Betty Grable and a left leg like Gorgeous George.” GEORGE: “You’re being ridiculous. Your leg is nothing like Betty Grable’s.”

Betty Grable (1916-73) made two films with Lucille Ball when they were both at RKO in the mid-1930s. A pin-up girl, she was famous for her platinum blonde hair and shapely legs. In the late 1940s, 20th Century Fox insured her legs with Lloyd’s of London for a quarter of a million dollars. George Raymond Wagner (1915-63) was a professional wrestler known by his ring name Gorgeous George. He was famous for his platinum blonde hair and muscular legs. In the 1950′s his name was mentioned on several episodes of “I Love Lucy.”

A car horn sounds and Rudolph and Iris Atterbury pull up in their brand new car. Iris wanted a canary yellow car with leopard skin upholstery, but because Rudolph is a bank president, they always get black.

IRIS: “I feel like I’m riding in a hearse. One day we accidentally cut through a funeral and half the cars followed us home.” RUDOLPH: “Lotus Bud, keep that up and the cars won’t be following you accidentally.”

While the boys are looking at the car, Liz and Iris conspire to ask Rudolph if he will teach Iris to drive. Rudolph flatly says no.

RUDOLPH: “I couldn’t have it on my conscious that I put another woman driver on the streets.”

Liz steps up to volunteer to teach Iris to drive. George forbids her to do it and Rudolph makes Iris promise not to let her!

Followers of the series will remember that George taught Liz to drive on November 13, 1948 when they were still named the Cugats.

In “Lucy Learns To Drive” (ILL S4;E12), Lucy Ricardo has just one lesson from Ricky before she’s volunteering to teach Ethel to drive.

Next day, Liz picks up Iris for her first driving lesson. They notice the Atterbury’s new car in the driveway and Liz reasons they should do the lesson in her new car, rather than hers.

After adjusting the seat to fit Iris’s girth, Liz attempts to guide her student through the pedals. She finally finds the starter, which is on the dashboard, not the floor like it is in Liz’s car. After a few lurches, they are motoring down the street - weaving all over the road. Liz calls Iris’s attention to the rear-view mirror.

LIZ: “That’s so you can put on lipstick while you’re driving and still keep one hand on the wheel.”

Liz teaches Iris how to turn a corner using hand signals.

LIZ: “They’re all the same, you just stick your hand out the window and wave it.” IRIS: “How can they tell what you’re going to do?” LIZ: “They can’t, but when they see it’s a woman’s hand, they just stop and let you do it!”

Although now a relic of the past, hand signals were a common part of driver education in the early part of the 20th century. In the late '30s, Joseph Bell patented the first electrical device that flashed - and in 1939, Buick introduced turn signals as a standard feature. Still, electrical turn signals didn't become widespread until the early to mid-1950s.

Liz tells Iris it is time for her to ‘solo’ by driving around the block alone. Iris is terrified but does it. While she is gone, Liz tells Katie the Maid about her driving lesson with Iris when suddenly...

...Iris smashes headlong into the back of Liz’s car! They realize they will have to explain this to George and Rudolph!

End of Part One

Bob LeMond does a live commercial and gives a recipe for a Jell-O salad with pineapple and dates.

ANNOUNCER: “On a quiet side street in Sheridan Falls stands a monument to womanhood: two cars smashed together. And on the curb surveying the wreckage are Iris Atterbury, the smasher, and Liz Cooper, the smashee.”

Liz, Katie, and Iris try to get the cars apart by jumping up and down on the bumpers.

IRIS: “What’s supposed to happen, Liz?” LIZ: “I dunno, but this is what men always do!” IRIS: “Are you sure you’re not leaving out anything?” LIZ: “Oh, I forgot! Iris, you stand down there and swear.”

In “Lucy Learns To Drive” (ILL S4;E12), the Cadillac and the Pontiac also get hooked together, and Lucy and Ethel try jumping up and down on the bumpers to separate them. When Lucy remembers the part about swearing, she does it in Spanish, to imitate Ricky, her Cuban hothead husband.

They don’t come unhooked, so Liz suggests they drive the cars down to Bill Fisher’s Beauty Shop, a ‘front’ for a secret garage in the back that specializes in ladies fenders.

LIZ: “I get all my work done there!”

On the road to the shop, people are staring and honking. Iris notices someone trying to pass. It is a car just like Iris’s new one. Iris notices that there’s nobody driving! It is her new car, come unhooked, and passing them on the highway! As they start to go up a hill, the new car loses power and rolls back down the hill backing into the front of the Cooper’s car! They try to think of what to say to their husbands, and agree to tell them the cars where stolen and they don’t anything about it. Playing along gamely, Iris innocently replies “What cars?”

This same scene is featured on “I Love Lucy” with the same line, this time spoken by Ethel.

Next day at the bank, Rudolph and George are talking to Mr. Rogers (Frank Nelson), the insurance adjustor, about the cars. The plan is to tell Liz that Iris ratted on her and hope Liz will squeal and reveal the truth.

RUDOLPH: “What’s good enough for Humphrey Bogart is good enough for me.”

Rudolph is referencing the film Tokyo Joe starring Humphrey Bogart (1899-1957), which was released in November 1949.

When Liz enters the office, she overhears Mr. Atterbury on a deliberately staged phone conversation with Iris in which she confesses and is forgiven. Angry at the betrayal, Liz cracks like an egg, but as she spills the real story, Iris rushes in! She reveals that Rudolph tried to trick her and Liz admits she fell for it! Thankfully nobody believed the real story! So Liz launches into a tall tale about an 80 foot tall giant with a purple beard and three eyes who picked up the cars....

End of Episode

In the live Jell-O commercial, Lucille Ball and Bob LeMond visit deepest darkest Africa. Bob is an explorer, Lucille is his number one girl-boy. Native drums are beating. Lucille compares them to a primitive pay telephone talking about Jell-O. They suddenly stop.

BOB / EXPLORER: “Why did they stop?” LUCILLE / #1 GIRL-BOY: “They went to get change. They have to deposit five cocoanuts for the next three minutes.”

<plunk plunk plunk> Drums continue and so does the message about Jell-O. The Jell-O singers adapt their jingle for the African setting as cannibals:

“Oh, tonight well have for dinner a great big family. Oh, tonight well have for dinner a great big family. Explorers! Yum! Yum! Yum! Missionaries! Yum! Yum! Yum! And a red-haired number one for yes-siree!”

#My Favorite Husband #Lucille Ball #Richard Denning #Frank Nelson #Bob LeMond #Ruth Perrott #Bea Benadaret #Gale Gordon #Liz Teaches Iris To Drive #Isinglass Curtains #Betty Grable #Gorgeous George #Humphrey Bogart #I Love Lucy #Radio #CBS #Lucy Learns To Drive #Vivian Vance

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