#incorrect bangtan
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daechwitonguetech · 1 year ago
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Taehyung : The best part of an oreo is the cookie part, not the frosting. Deal with it.
Namjoon: Darkness without light is an abyss. Light without darkness is blinding. You cannot have a coin with one side.
Yoongi: YO SOCRATES! IT'S A FUCKING COOKIE!
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btsicedtea · 7 months ago
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hoseok: pspsps
yoongi: *poking his head round the corner* you called?
hoseok: it's real! the power of the pspsps is real! i'm the feline master now! i can summon cats anytime i want
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incorrectnamgi · 5 months ago
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Namjoon : Welcome, fellow idiots
Yoongi: Hello, Namjoon
Namjoon : No, no, not you, you're not an idiot
Yoongi: You underestimate me
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vanilla-almond-cupcake · 11 months ago
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jungkook: so did you know that an owl's eyes are made of tubes? I wonder what kind of tubes they are tho
namjoon: it is three o'clock in the morning i beg you to not.
jungkook: I can't sleep until i find out. so what are they made of?
taehyung: plastic?
yoongi: *mumbling in his sleep* they'll be made out of your skin if you don't shut up right this minute
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asadfangirlbitxh · 2 years ago
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Yoongi: Also from now we will be picking code names to go in and surprise Jungkook
Yoongi; I will be eagle 1
Points to Hoseok: Hobi will be there been there, done that
Points to Jimin: Currently doing that
Points to Taehyung: it happened once in a dream
Points to Namjoon: If I had to choose a straight person
And finally points to Him: Hyung you will be eagle 2
Jin: Thank God
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taechnological · 2 years ago
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Incorrect Bangtan #189
seokjin : let's go to church
namjoon : i'm atheist
seokjin : ok how about when the heist is over?
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exslytherin · 1 year ago
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hoseok: hyung, what's a metaphor? yoongi: my life is a trainwreck hoseok: I know that, but what's a metaphor?
exslytherin on tumblr
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hopeinthebox · 1 year ago
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What if I told you I'm a mastermind?
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dudazzita · 4 months ago
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bts layout twitter
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like or reblog if you use/save :)
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magic-shop-stories · 5 months ago
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how would bts react to their kids being disrespectful towards their wife?
💌 Reply:
Ahh, I hope this is what you wanted... I took me way too long, but I got so many ideas while writing this.
This blog is honestly turning into BTS Parent AU (crying in orphan) - I started with a J-Hope Dad fic and end up writing Dad Headcanons for whole Bangtan - well, it kinda heals my childhood lol...
Thanks for the Request and feel free to reach out 💜 and HAVE FUN reading ✨️✨️
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“Respect isn’t a rule, it’s the soil we grow in. If you poison it, nothing blooms.”
NAMJOON
Philosopher-leader
introspective
values growth through empathy & dialogue
Reaction & Consequences
Initial Response:
when he hears the disrespect, his grip tightens on whatever he’s holding, knuckles whitening
closes his eyes for a beat, exhaling through his nose
you know how his jaw clenches? THAT!!!
his voice is low but steady, deliberate calm masking his hurt
“That language isn’t acceptable. Let’s take a walk.”
Internal Feelings: 
disappointment curdles in his chest
mentally files it away to process later
blames himself first before focusing on guiding his child
Teaching Moment
Nature Walk
takes his child to a quiet park or riverbank
points to tangled tree roots: 
“See how they hold each other up? Families are like that. When you hurt Mom, you shake our roots.” 
asks them to find a smooth stone and toss it into water
“Words are like ripples, once they’re out, you can’t take them back.”
Punishment
1) Apology Letter & Reflection Essay
his child writes two things
heartfelt apology to their mom, including specific examples of her sacrifices
A 1-page reflection on “How My Words Impact Others,” using a metaphor; e.g., “Anger is fire,it burns the person holding it too”
2) Community Service
would volunteer with his child at a local community garden for a weekend
“You’ll water plants and see how care grows something beautiful. Like Mom does for us.”
3) Lost Privileges
no screen time (tablet, TV) until both letters are completed to his standards
Internal Conflict
Self-Doubt:
later, he vents in his journal
 “Did I overreact? Am I too abstract for them to understand?” 
worries his calmness comes off as indifference
Frustration & Compassion
part of him wants to yell "How dare they hurt her?" but he swallows it, knowing anger won’t teach
instead, texts his wife: 
“I’m sorry you had to hear that. We’ll fix this together.”
Guilt
buys her favorite latte and leaves it on her desk with a sticky note
“You’re our bedrock. Thank you for enduring my learning curves too.”
Follow-Up
Family Meeting
gathers everyone to discuss “healthy communication.”
uses a whiteboard to map emotions
e.g., “When you’re angry, here’s how we express it without explosions”
lets his child lead part of the discussion
Ritual
starts a weekly “Gratitude Stone” tradition
each family member drops a painted stone into a bowl while sharing something they appreciate about the others
the bowl stays on the dining table as a visual reminder
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“Respect your mom, or I’ll revoke your WiFi and your right to laugh at my jokes. And trust me, you need both to survive.”
JIN
playful disciplinarian
fiercely protective
humor as a bridge to vulnerability
nurturing with a side of theatrics
Reaction & Consequences
Initial Response:
Dramatic Flair
whirls around, clutching his chest like a K-drama lead
“Yah! Did I just hear disrespect in this household? To the woman who gave you life? Are you a villain in a weekend drama now?” 
his voice drops, dead serious
“Apologize. Properly. Now.”
Body Language
looms over his child (playfully intimidating), arms crossed
winks at his wife to reassure her he’s handling it
Internal Feelings
hot flash of anger - How dare they hurt her?
masks it with humor to avoid scaring his kid
secretly wonders - Did I joke too much about respect? Is this my fault?
Teaching Moment
Cooking Lesson Consequences
drags his kid to the kitchen
“You think parenting is easy? Let’s see you handle dinner.” 
carefully forces them to peel garlic, chop onions, and stir a bubbling pot while he “supervises” from a stool
Metaphor Time
 “Mom’s like this stew, holds everything together. You insult her, the whole family falls apart. You wanna taste chaos? Here...” 
lets them sip over-salted broth
“See? Without her balance, life’s spicy in the worst way.”
Punishment:
Apology Performance
he'd make them sing an apology parody of Super Tuna (Jin writes lyrics if they're younger/need help) (too personal opinion)
“I’m sorry, Mom, I was a fool / I broke the golden respect rule!”
complete with fish-themed choreography
Mom’s Personal Assistant
for a week, his kid acts as Mom’s “manager”
bringing her coffee, massaging her shoulders, and taking notes on her daily tasks
“You’ll learn how hard she works and say ‘Yes, Queen’ with a smile.”
No Joke Privilege
bans his child from his dad-joke sessions (their favorite bonding time) until they earn back trust
“Comedy’s a privilege for people who respect their co-stars.”
Internal Conflict
Guilt & Second-Guessing
after bedtime, he stress-eats kimchi pancakes in the kitchen
mutters to his wife: 
“Was I too harsh? Should I have hugged them first?” 
(if she reassures him, he still texts his mom at 2 a.m.)
“How did you not disown me when I was 13 and edgy?”
Protective Fury
secretly grinds his teeth remembering the disrespect
Humor as Armor
buys his wife expensive skincare “just because”
glares at hiskid’s homework like it personally offended her
cracks a joke during the apology song
“Your high note needs work, but the remorse is chef’s kiss”
makes sure his child knows he’s dead serious underneath
Follow-Up
Family Dinner Theater
institutes a weekly “Appreciation Roast” where everyone playfully roasts each other, but he'd end up praising his child and wife
“Your mom’s so amazing, she makes the sun jealous. Fight me.”
Secret Spy Mission
assigns his kid to stealthily document Mom’s daily acts of kindness (e.g., packing lunches, fixing Wi-Fi)
“Mom Appreciation PowerPoint.” = Jin adds meme slides for flair
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“Your anger’s a tool. Use it to fix what you broke, not break what she fixed.”
SUGA
stoic realist
quietly protective
values actions over empty words
emotionally reserved
deeply introspective
Reaction & Consequences
Initial Response:
Cold Silence
freezes mid-task (producing beats, fixing a coffee)
eyes narrowing to slits
voice drops to a low, icy register
“Repeat that. Slowly.” 
room chills, even the air feels heavier
Body Language
leans back in his chair, fingers steepled, jaw clenched
a vein pulses at his temple, the only tell of his simmering rage
Internal Feelings
visceral flashback to his teenage self snapping at his parents
guilt claws at him
“Am I failing like I thought he did?” 
referencing his own father’s emotional distance
Teaching Moment
Studio Session
drags his kid to his home studio at midnight
slams headphones onto them
“You’re angry? Scream. Spit it into the mic. Let’s hear exactly what’s rotting in your head.” 
records their raw, unfiltered outburst
plays it back, deadpan
“This what you want your legacy to be? Noise?”
Lyric Exercise
forces them to transform the rant into structured rap verses 
“Anger’s useless if it doesn’t build something. Mom’s your hook, write a chorus thanking her.”
Punishment
Gratitude Ledger
his child must document every thing Mom does for them for a week, down to folded socks
present it as a spreadsheet
 “Numbers don’t lie. Now apologize in data.”
Manual Labor
assigns them to clean the studio top-to-bottom
“You wanna disrespect the woman who cleans your messes? Learn the weight of it.”
Tech Ban
confiscates their phone/laptop until the rap is perfected
“You’ll communicate face-to-face like we did in the trenches.”
Internal Conflict
Fatherhood Ghosts
stares at old family photos late at night
his father’s stern face haunts him
“Will my kid remember me as a wall or a weapon?” 
texts his mom
“Did I ever make you feel small?” 
she replies with a heart emoji, he saves it but doesn’t sleep
Emotional Paradox 
wants to hug his child but fears coddling
leaves a new pair of sneakers (their size) outside their door -no note
Protective Rage
slips cash into his wife’s purse with a scribbled 
“Buy silence. Spa. Dinner. Whatever. I’ll handle the chaos.”
Follow-Up
Family Cypher
hosts a living room rap battle
he goes hardest on himself
“I’m a flawed king, but Mom’s the throne. Diss her again, and you’ll rap alone.” 
his kid’s verse earns a nod
“Better. Still trash flow, though.”
Silent Ritual
every Sunday, he and his child cook his mom’s kimchi jjigae recipe
no talking, just chopping, stirring, and passing ingredients
“Respect’s in the labor,” he mutters once, and his kid finally gets it
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”You can’t fake respect like a bad dance cover. Nail the basics, or you’re benched from my WiFi."
J-HOPE
radiant disciplinarian
structured yet warm
balances positivity with unwavering principles
thrives on growth through accountability
Reaction & Consequences
Initial Response:
The Judge Face Activated
the moment he hears the disrespect, his signature smile evaporates
eyes narrow into a laser-focused stare
brows furrowing into "courtroom glare."
stands tall, arms crossed, fingertips tapping his biceps
silent countdown to explosion
Voice
sharp and clipped, volume rising just enough to sting
“Hold. Up. Did you just speak to your mother like that? Do you need a mirror to see how ugly that sounded?”
Body Language
steps between his child and his wife, a protective shield
his usually animated hands now rigid at his sides, fists briefly clenching
Teaching Moment
Choreography of Consequences
”Respect Rehearsal”
forces his child to practice bowing and polite phrases
”Yes, Mom,” “Thank you, Mom” 50 times in front of a mirror “You wanna act up? Perfect your performance as a decent human first.”
Gratitude Graffiti
hands them poster boards and markers
“You have one hour to turn this disrespect into art. Every color is a reason Mom deserves better.” 
stands arms crossed, critiquing laziness
“That’s yellow effort. I’ve seen your TikToks, do rainbow.”
Hope’s Homework
assigns a essay titled ”How My Words Dance on Others’ Hearts”
must include a choreography metaphor
“If you can’t write it, we’ll literalize it. Ten pirouettes per paragraph.”
Internal Conflict
Post-Punishment Panic
“Was I too much? Did I break their spirit? What if they hate me now?” 
after sending his kid to their room, he paces the kitchen
stress-eating gummy bears
texts Jimin: 
”Hyung messed up. I went full dance captain on them 😭”
Guilty Glimpses
peeks into his child’s room later, heart aching if they’re crying
leaves a bowl of their favorite fruit with a note
”Anger fades. Love doesn’t. Let’s talk tomorrow.”
Wife Reassurance
kneads his wife’s shoulders that night, voice small
“Did I… overstep? I just... I couldn’t let them think it’s okay to dim your light.” he exhales shakily
Follow-Up
Apology Showcase
makes his child present their poster and essay at a “family meeting.”
he claps loudest, eyes misty
”This… this is hope, right? Growth!”
Kindness Choreo
creates a ”Respect Routine”
his child must perform one act of service for Mom daily (e.g., making her coffee, tidying her shoes)
Dance Floor Therapy
blasts upbeat music, pulling his kid into a silly dance-off. 
”Life’s a stage, yeah? But Mom’s the main audience. Never forget.”
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“You’re my blood. But if you cut her, I’ll bleed harder. Fix this.”
JIMIN
affectionate empath
fiercely loyal
balances warmth with unexpected intensity
prioritizes emotional harmony
Reaction & Consequences
Initial Response:
Surprising Fury
his doe eyes harden into a steel-gray glare
voice dropping to a razor-sharp whisper
“What did you just say to her?” 
steps closer, posture taut as a bowstring
“You don’t ever speak to Mom like that. Apologize. Now.”
Body Language
hands tremble slightly, not from fear, but suppressed rage
he grips his child’s shoulder, not roughly, but firm enough to ground them
“Look at her. Look at how you made her feel.”
Internal Feelings
flash of his own childhood guilt surfaces
that time he snapped at his mother during trainee stress
his anger is laced with panic: 
“Am I repeating cycles I swore to break?”
Teaching Moment
Emotional Bootcamp
Apology Art
forces his child to create a “Heart Map” collage
photos of Mom’s sacrifices, surrounded by handwritten apologies in every color
“If you can’t say it, show it.”
sits silently beside them, tears brimming as he points to a photo of Mom staying up late with homework
Role Reversal
makes them act out a skit where they’re the parent
Jimin plays them, mimicking their harsh tone
feigns sobbing into a pillow
“Feel good? Proud? This is what you did.”
Service Sentence
his child must take over Mom’s chores for a week, packing lunches, folding laundry
he supervises, arms crossed 
“You think her love is free? It’s labor. Respect it.”
Internal Conflict
Guilt Spiral
after confrontation, he locks himself in the bathroom, splashing water on his face
“Did I scare them? What if they think I’m a monster?” 
texts Jungkook: 
”Messed up. I sounded like a monster”
Midnight Check-In
creeps into his child’s room at 2 a.m., tucking them in
whispers
“I’m sorry I yelled. But Mom… she’s my soul. You can’t break her.” 
leaves a handwritten note: 
“Anger is love that’s bleeding. Let’s heal together.”
Wife’s Reassurance
clings to her that night, forehead pressed to her shoulder
“Tell me I’m not failing. Tell me they’ll still love me.”
Soft Family Resolution
Pillow Fort Summit:
builds a blanket fort in the living room
stuffed with snacks and fairy lights
initiates a feelings circle
“I’m sorry I yelled. I felt scared; scared we’d lose us.” 
“Love is sticky, yeah? Messy. But sweet when you knead it right.” 
encourages his child to share
pulls them into a cuddle pile
Baking Therapy
bakes cookies together, Jimin guiding their hands
feeds Mom the first bite, eyes soft
Dance of Apology
plays a slow song, swaying with his child
“This is how we say sorry without words.” 
by the end, they’re both laughing through tears
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“Disrespect your mom, and you erase the art of our family. I’ll burn the palette until you paint her properly.”
TAEHYUNG (V)
artistic empath
whimsical yet profound
values emotional depth and creativity
fiercely protective with a tender heart
Reaction & Consequences
Initial Response:
Quiet Intensity
his playful demeanor evaporates
tilts his head, eyes narrowing into a piercing gaze
voice low and steady
“Did I just hear you disrespect the universe that holds our family together?”
his tone is velvet wrapped in steel
Body Language
steps closer, crouching to his child’s level
hands clasped tightly behind his back to avoid trembling
“You think words are just air? They’re echoes. Let’s make sure yours don’t haunt us.”
Teaching Moment
Metaphor-Driven Lesson:
”Broken Vase” Analogy
brings out a delicate ceramic vase
smashes it deliberately
“This was us. Now fix it.” 
hands them glue, forcing them to piece it back
“Apologies are glue, but cracks remain. Choose your words wisely.”
Songwriting Therapy
drags his child to the piano
“Turn your anger into music. Write a chorus for Mom, every line a reason she’s our melody.” 
plays minor chords until his child’s lyrics shift from defiance to remorse
Silent Gallery
curates a “Mom Exhibit” in the living room
photos, her favorite scarf, a recipe card
forces his child to stand there for an hour
“Breathe in her soul. Then tell me she deserves disrespect.”
Consequence
1) Art Ban
revokes access to paints, instruments, or cameras until the vase is repaired and the song is performed for Mom
“Creativity is a privilege. Use it to heal, not harm.”
2) Memory Journal: 
assigns a diary to log daily acts of kindness from Mom 
“Fill 10 pages. Then burn one and see how it feels to erase her love.”
3) Shadow Day: 
his child must follow Mom for 24 hours, documenting her tasks in a sketchbook
“You’ll learn her language of love—it’s spelled S-A-C-R-I-F-I-C-E.”
Internal Conflict
Doubt in Darkness
late at night, he stares at the fractured vase on his shelf
texts Jin: 
“Hyung, what if I’m too abstract? What if they don’t see?” 
vowing, “I’ll be the parent who stays in the frame.”
Guilt in Gestures
secretly films Mom’s daily routine, editing it into a montage set to his child’s song
leaves it on their laptop with a note: 
“Her love is your legacy. Don’t let it be a silent film.”
Protective Poetry
writes a letter he never sends: 
“I’d raze galaxies to keep you safe. Both of you.”
Resolution
Family Portrait Session
dresses everyone in coordinating hues
directing a photoshoot where Mom is the focal point
whispered to his child: 
“See how she outshines us all? That’s why we orbit her.”
Midnight Storytime
gathers them under fairy lights
recounting a fable about a boy who lost his voice after hurting his mother
ends with, “Love is the only language worth speaking.”
Collaborative Art
paints a mural together titled “Home.”
guides his child’s hand to outline Mom’s figure
“Without her, this canvas is empty. Now fill it with light.”
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“Disrespect Mom, and you’ll spar with me until your heart matches your mouth, strong enough to lift her, not tear her down.”
JUNGKOOK
gentle protector
resilient softie
leads by example
values hard work and emotional honesty
channels intensity into growth
Reaction & Consequences
Initial Response:
Silent Fury
freezes mid-rep at the gym, dumbbell hovering
his muscles tense like coiled springs
jaw clenched so tight his cheekbones sharpen
sets the weight down with deliberate calm, turns slowly, and locks eyes with his child
“You think you’re tough enough to disrespect your mom? Let’s test that.”
Body Language
cracks his knuckles, rolling his shoulders back
his gaze is volcanic
his voice stays eerily quiet
“Gym. Now. You wanna act hard? Be hard.”
Teaching Moment
Boxing Bootcamp
drags his kid to his home gym
forces them into gloves, pads him up, and drills combos
“Hit the pad. Harder. Harder. That’s your anger? Mom’s felt worse from your words.” 
makes them sprint between rounds
“Respect isn’t a game, it’s a discipline.”
Breakdown: mid-session, he stops, chest heaving
“You think I’m mad? I’m terrified. Because if you break her heart, I don’t know if I can fix it.”
Punishment
Labor of Love: 
assigns 100 burpees (he does them too)
“Every rep is a ‘thank you’ for Mom’s sleepless nights.”
Gratitude Gauntlet
forces his kid to handwrite 50 reasons Mom “outworks them daily.”
critiques each one
“’She drives me to school’? Weak. Dig deeper. Sacrifice.”
Tech Timeout
confiscates gaming gear until they’ve detailed Mom’s daily schedule in a spreadsheet
“You’ll see her 18-hour shift. Then we’ll talk ‘fair.’”
Internal Conflict
Regret & Vulnerability
after the workout, he sits alone in the gym, head in hands
texts Yoongi:
”Hyung, did I go full drill sergeant? What if they hate me?” 
stares at a family photo on his phone, zooming in on his wife’s smile
Guilt Gifts
sneaks into his kid’s room at dawn, leaves protein pancakes and a new hoodie (their favorite anime print)
scrawls on a napkin
”Anger fades. My love for you doesn’t. But never hurt her again.”
Protective Paradox
books his wife a solo vacation, "growling" at his kid
 “You’re stuck with me. We’re rebuilding what you cracked.”
Soft Resolution
Sparring Therapy
returns to the gym days later, gloves on
this time, he lets his child hit his pads while venting
“I get it, anger’s easy. Loving’s harder. But Mom? She’s worth the reps.” 
ends with a fist bump
Tattoo Talk
shows them his “ARMY” tattoo
“This means I fight for what I love. You’ll earn yours when you learn to fight for her, not against.”
Family Night
teaches self-defense moves
positioning Mom as the “VIP to protect.”
his kid must shield her from his playful attacks
“Guard her like she’s your last round.”
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daechwitonguetech · 1 year ago
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Yoongi: Given the circumstances, I will let you hug me for four to five seconds.
Jimin: Forty five seconds?!?
Yoongi: No! I said four TO five seconds.
Jimin, hugging Yoongi: Too late.
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btsicedtea · 9 months ago
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hobi: I'm back (⁠☆⁠▽⁠☆⁠)
the sun : oh crap there goes my job
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joverflowers · 5 months ago
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Jimin: Damn, I really didn't think I would feel this emotional at a wedding.
Seokjin: That's a perfectly reasonable response, Jiminie. Look, even the cake is in tiers.
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vanilla-almond-cupcake · 1 year ago
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bts: *messes up the choreo*
hoseok: *glares*
the rest of bts: *fearing for their lives*, *tell my parents I love them* *help* *if I beg for forgiveness will I be saved?* *we done messed up folks* *rip bts 2013-2024*
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asadfangirlbitxh · 2 years ago
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Jimin: Could I have a quicky?
Yoong: Hyperventilating in the corner
Jin: For the last time, it's pronounced quiche
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taechnological · 1 year ago
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Incorrect Bangtan #190
customer : i'd like to buy a bagel with cream cheese
seokjin : sorry we only take cash
manager: can i talk to you
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