#incorrect shoni

[theshortangrylesbian]

Leah, texting group chat: What flavour of ice cream do you guys want? I’m at the store so be quick! 

Toni: Moose Tracks is good! 

Fatin: What the fuck is that!? 

Toni: *Gasp* How dare you insult moo- 

Fatin: No. No no not that. What the hell. Why do you spell flavor like flavour. It’s like you have flavor but then this guy shows up and is like “Oui Oui Would you like chocolate flaVOUR or vanilla flaVOUR.  

Leah and Toni: what? 

Fatin: I don’t get it why add the EXTRA u when it’s PERFECTLY FINE AS IT IS!? 

Leah: You done now? 

Fatin: Yeah ok. 

Leah and Toni: ... 

Fatin: ...Can I have the Mint Chocolate chip flavour?

[hearteyesandviolence]

Scene in Season 3

Fatin: You sent Toni and Shelby on an errand together? Is that the best call right now?

Dot: Honestly, I'm just trying to feel out their status. If they do it quickly and accurately, we'll know they're really truly broken up. But, if they do it how they always used to, and it takes them forever, or they completely forget to do it, we'll know they're still in love.

Ten hours later, Shelby and Toni return.

Shelby: Sorry that took so long.

Toni: Also, we kind of fucked up what you asked us to do.

Dot: (Crying happy tears) I'm so fucking pissed at you two.

[thewildsgonewrong]

Toni: I will fight you! I will beat your ass! If you piss me off you won’t live to see the next day!

Shelby and Martha: *holding a sign that says ‘if you hurt her, we will kill you’*

[incorrectmultis]

the wilds textposts 5/?

[theydidntactuallysaythis]

dot: this is my girlfriend fatin, and fatin's girlfriend leah and leah's girlfriend rachel and fatin's other girlfriend martha and martha's girlfriend shelby and shelby's wife toni and i'm toni's common sense, dot

[incorrect-thewilds-quote]

Dot: Ah, yes. Here we have a beautiful couple.

Leah: I really care about your feelings!

Fatin: I really care about YOUR feelings!

Dot, turning her head: ... and then there's the disaster couple.

Toni: YOU NEED TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ME INSTEAD OF BEING AT THE HOSPITAL!

Shelby: I WOULDN'T HAVE TO SPEND SO MUCH TIME AT THE HOSPITAL IF YOU STOPPED INSISTING ON FIGHTING EVERYONE WHO COMES WITHIN A FIVE FOOT RADIUS OF YOU!

[obnoxiousselfishevilheart]

Shelby: Toni and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us

Martha, sighing: What did Toni do?

Shelby: She chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...

Toni: Who wants a steering wheel?

[suvarnarekha]

Toni: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

Shelby: I wrote you a poem.

Toni, already crying: You did?

[youaretheunicorn]

[reallytinylaura]

Shelby: How do feel about children?

Toni: Uh… they’re okay, I guess. I mean, if I saw one I wouldn’t throw a rock at it.

Shelby: Why would you throw a rock at a child?

Toni: I just said that I wouldn’t!

[keepingupwiththe8]

keeping up with the unsinkable eight (2/?) / (insp.)

[theshortangrylesbian]

Shelby: Do you ever feel bugs on you when really there’s nothing there? 

Rachel: Those are the ghosts of the bugs you killed before. 

Shelby: 

Shelby: *sobs* 

Toni: You fucking scared her, you idiot.

[hearteyesandviolence]

Dot: Okay, we need two people to go check find some good kindling.

Shelby: Toni and I will go.

Dot: No. Absolutely not.

Toni: What?? Why the hell not?

Dot: Evey time you two are given a task together you disappear to hook up.

Shelby: That is not true.

Dot: What about the Lychees?

Shelby: We...got lost....

Dot: Uh huh. And when I sent you both for water?

Toni: We...got lost....

Dot: Right. And when I asked one of you to hand me a pen?

Shelby and Toni: We got lost.

Dot: I was three feet away from you!!

[comingupforblair]

Toni: Did Shelby tell me that she loved me for the first time?

Fatin: Yes.

Toni: And did I do finger guns at her in response?

Fatin: Yes, you did.

[incorrectmultis]

the wilds textposts 1/?

[incorrectwilds]

Toni: Three years ago today, I married my best friend…

Toni: Shelby and Leah is still really mad about it but me and Fatin were drunk and thought it was funny