#incorrect vermintide

[incorrectvermintide]

Bardin: I'm going to bed. I don't remember which room I'm in but I'm sure I'll recognize the door.

Kruber: He’s going to be wandering around up there all night.

Lohner: Yup, he belongs to the keep now.

[mercie-haemonculous]

Phone meme:

(De'rekai Bloodweaver)

Name: Fucking Nerd

Note: He is well hung but he won't shut up about some shit called Vermintide.

Last Message:

Fucking Nerd at 3:00 AM: I am so tired but I made you an NPC in my latest DnD game! You are a Dark Elven princess in this one! You rolled well in your charisma but I might've accidentally rolled poorly on the intelligence portion. BUT DO NOT WORRY. I am not saying you are in any way unintelligent at all! Sometimes you stitch wracks incorrectly and that's okay! I understand it is your style! Even if it is incorrect! Perhaps I can teach you how to properly stitch your wracks! There is a technique to it! Sometimes we just have to practice I believe in you mistress!

Read at 3:01 AM

[qstdifficultdriversstorage-blog]

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[incorrectvermintide]

Kerillian: Will you guys stop fighting?

Sienna: We are not fighting, we are having a creative discussion.

Saltzpyre: We are too fighting.

Sienna: Creative discussion!

Saltzpyre: Fight!

Sienna: Discussion!

Kerillian: I can't believe you guys are fighting about if you're having a fight!

[incorrectvermintide]

Saltzpyre: Get this sneak-rat off of me!

Kerillian: [monotone] Stop. Bad assassin rat. No.

[incorrectvermintide]

Saltzpyre: Kruber, this is a ruthless Skaven lord with who knows how many armed ratmen? You can’t just walk in there with your suit of armour and say “Hello, Warpstone dealers!”

Kruber: I would never do that.

[Later, Kruber is approaching a Skaven nest]

Kruber: Hello, Warpstone dealers!

[incorrectvermintide]

Sienna: Well then, we’re in disagreement. You’ll have to excuse me.

Saltzpyre: I’m sorry you had to witness such a vicious fight.

Kruber: Oh, that was a fight?

Saltzpyre: She said “You’ll have to excuse me” instead of “Please excuse me”. Might as well have spit in my face.

[incorrectvermintide]

Sienna: I'd just like to say, if we don't get out of this, that . . . I'll have known, deep down inside, that there was a spark of goodness in you.

Saltzpyre: That's right. Make my day.

[incorrectvermintide]

Lohner: I thought I told you to stop reading my journals.

Saltzpyre: Well, I thought I told you to stop keeping secrets!

[incorrectvermintide]

Saltzpyre: Kruber, I need you.

Kruber: When I am good and ready!

Saltzpyre: WHAT did you say?

Kruber: Now I am good and ready!

[incorrectvermintide]

Sienna: Let’s fry these bitches!

Kruber: No one is frying any bitches!

[incorrectvermintide]

[After Kruber touches the carriage]

Olesya’s voice: You are too close to the vehicle.

Kruber: Who said that?

Olesya’s voice: You are too close to the vehicle.

Kruber: I heard you the first time!

[incorrectvermintide]

Kruber: Sir, this is an intervention.

Saltzpyre: What? No! I have it under control. I can take it off whenever I want.

Kerillian: [reading from a letter] Dear One-Eye, I do not like that stupid hat. I want to beat it with a bat. Or maybe stab it with a fork. It makes you look like such a dork.

[incorrectvermintide]

Bardin: Is there a hall of fame for this kind of stuff?

Saltzpyre: Yes, it's called prison.

[incorrectvermintide]

Kruber: Ugh!

Saltzpyre: What's wrong?

Kruber: I have this weird pain right above my eyebrow.

Saltzpyre: It's called a stress headache. I got my first one when I was four.

Kruber: I hate it!

[incorrectvermintide]

Bardin: As for your dessert bread, okay, yes. I sometimes lay waste to the Keep pantry. But have mercy Grimgi! How was I supposed to know it was yours?

Saltzpyre: Because it was labelled!