#incorrect winterhawk

[purple--queen]

Bucky: Did it hurt?

Clint: When i fell from heav-

Bucky: When I told you to google it and I was right.

Clint:...

[coffeeandjuice]

Clint: is that a gun in your pocket or are you just excited to see me?

Bucky: It’s a gun.

[hurtspideyparker]

Avengers High School AU

based on this post of mine

At a Party:

Clint: Here's a drink Pete

Tony: *takes solo cup from Peter* You idiot, he's underage!

Clint: So are we dipshit

Tony: *Chugs Peter's drink*

Clint: Whatever, I'll get him a lemonade

Tony: *Chugs his own drink*

—

Natasha: Steve I saw Tony heading for the janitor's closet

Steve: Okay?

Natasha: With Clint

Steve, sprinting down the hall: NOT THE TOILET PAPER BARTON

—

Bucky: Would you like to go out sometime?

Natasha: No

Bucky: I respect that. *Turns to Sam* would you like to go out sometime

Sam: Wait—but you just. What the hell man

Bucky: I'll take that as a no. *Turns to Clint* would you like to—

Clint: Fuck yeah

—

Tony: Did you hear about the fire in the chem lab?

Steve: Tony, what did you do

Tony: It wasn't me this time!

Steve: Oh. That's new

Tony: I mean I did text Bruce the calculations, it's not my fault he didn't see the decimal

Steve: Tony!

—

Natasha: And that's why I transferred in the middle of last year

Sam: Isn't that like...a crime

Natasha: Nobody will believe you.

Sam: What? What do you mean by that

Natasha, disappearing into the crowd:

Sam: What do you mean by that?!

—

Peter: Hi Captain!

Steve: You know only the football team calls me that Peter. I'm not your Captain

Peter: Yes sir

Steve: I'm only 2 years older than you, you don't need to call me sir either

Peter: Okay Captain!

Steve: No just...whatever

—

Tony: Hey Bruce whatcha reading

Bruce: AH! Oh hey dude

Tony: Wow you're jumpy. You need to relax

Bruce: I don't think I've relaxed once since I met you but thanks for the advice

—

Clint: Do you think Thor was held back?

Sam: Naw man, he's pretty smart

Clint: But he looks like he has a 401k and a mortgage

Bucky: Talks like it too

Sam: Maybe it's a Europe thing, school is different there

Clint: Maybe. Hey Thor! What's up buddy, how's the wife and kids?

Thor: Ay? Um...well? And yours my friend?

Clint: Fantastic! Well it was good seeing you

Thor: Alright then, farewell

Sam: What an odd guy

Bucky: Nice though

Clint: Real nice dude

—

Pepper: Tony, stop flirting with me to make Steve jealous

Tony: Whaaaaat, I would never

Pepper: You very loudly told your table, which is right next to mine, "I'm going to go flirt with Pepper to make Steve jealous"

Tony: Well do you think it's working?

Steve, at Tony's table: No

—

Peter: The decathlon supervisor is already one of my references, and I tutor for Mrs. Warren's freshman class a lot so I have her too. I also volunteered at a special needs camp over the summer, plus I applied for this competitive course where you write a research paper under a university professor for junior year, and if I get it that will look really good on my MIT application. I just hope it doesn't interfere with my internship at Oscorp. What about you, what are you doing to prepare for graduation? Aren't college apps due, like, next month for you?

Bucky: Well my boss at Dunkin Donuts said he'd give me a reference. Chicks in the drive through always tip me well

—

Sam: Why'd you punch Rumlow!

Steve: Cause he was saying creepy stuff about Natasha!

Bucky: You shouldn't have done that man

Steve: What do you mean, he was being a total asshole, I don't care if I get detention

Sam: It's not him you should be worried about

Natasha: Rogers, that was MY punch to throw

Steve: Oh no

Natasha: You think I'm some damsel in distress? Come here and I'll show you a damsel in distress

Steve: I, uh, gotta go *runs out the door*

Natasha: Which way did he go.

Sam: I didn't see nothin'

Bucky: Out those doors and to the left

Sam: Bruh

Bucky: A true friend understands when the consequences are necessary *kicks Rumlow who's still lying on the ground as he walks away*

—

Bruce: What did the racing hot dog say when he passed the finish line?

Tony: What

Bruce: I'm a wiener!

Everyone:

Bruce: Get it? Like winner?

Tony: It's okay man, just stick to academics

Thor: I have one! A priest, a pastor, and a rabbi walk into a bar

Everyone:

Thor: HAHAHA, what a coincidence for them all to arrive in the establishment simultaneously!

*Everyone bursts out laughing*

Bruce: Oh come on, that wasn't even a joke!

Tony: See he has charisma. It's all about the delivery Brucie Bear

—

Sam: Wait, you're saying that the elephant toothpaste all over the second floor right before midterms was you?

Rhodey: Hell yeah it was

Sam: But everyone blamed Tony. Even Tony's parents and the principal. The only reason he wasn't suspended was because the cameras were wiped of evidence, which was also blamed on Tony

Rhodey: Yeah you'd be surprised about how much stuff I do that Tony gets blamed for. Public image does wonders to create bias

Sam: What the hell? I thought you were the responsible one and Tony was your monkey on a leash. Why does he let you blame him?

Rhodey: Cuz he's a good bro. He gets to piss his parents off, I don't get kicked out of ROTC, and then we laugh about it afterwards

Sam: You evil geniuses...

—

Wanda: I want to get married

Natasha: Are you pregnant?

Wanda: What? No

Natasha: Oh thank goodness. Wait, then why do you want to get married

Wanda: Because it's romantic!

Natasha: And the tax benefits?

Wanda: No! Well, yes that would be nice, but no! I want to be a stay at home mom and have a nice family

Natasha: Girl you failed home economics and your type is men who think calling you their "situationship" is making it official, why don't we focus on finding the vertex for now

—

If u like this vibe I have a domestic Avengers "in a timeline where Civil War didn't end in divorce" series as well:

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 :P

[clintbartonruinedmylife]

Tony: Yesterday, I overheard Bucky saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Clint replying “Trust me,” and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life.

[headcanonthings]

Bucky: So I've seen you spending a lot of time with Wilson recently Steve: Its not what it looks like Bucky: Oh really? So no reason to be jealous? Steve: No you're the only one for me Bucky: Is that so? Steve: I promise. Sam and I are just dating ok? Bucky: So there are no best friend feelings involved? Steve: You are still my one and only best friend. They're just the love of my life ok? Sam: Clint: *witnessed a similar conversation when he started dating Bucky* Clint, handing Sam a cup of coffee: Welcome to the club, bird bro.

[autumnistic-danmei]

Clint, texting Natasha: Hey I just walked into a gay bar and some guy yelled dibs lol

Bucky, texting Natasha: HELP IM REALLY DRUNK AND I FUCKED UP; SOME HOT GUY WALKED INTO THE BAR AND I YELLED DIBS

[cwtchartsworld]

[incorrectcompoundnotes]

Tony: So you lost your hearing aids, again?

Clint: Yeah.

Tony: And yet they got pinged from Bucky’s room, again?

Clint: Yea- I mean, what? Of course not. Don’t be stupid.

Tony: Uhuh.

[deadbydad]

Natasha: You two ARE having sex!

Clint, laying on Bucky: Really? Bucky, why didn't you tell me? I would have put my book down.

Bucky: Oh my god

[batcavescolony]

Bucky: I'm gonna regret this, who is Robin?

Clint: the most famous fictional sidekick

Bucky: is he anything like me?

Clint: well their are different ones, I like the first but I'm biased, you're more like the second one. Jason Todd.

Bucky: do I want to known how?

Clint: Jason was Robin, then he got killed, then he came back with guns a blazing.

Bucky:... I asked

[i-a-q]

Clint: So, what’s the weirdest thing Hydra ever made you do?

Bucky: You don’t want to know.

Clint: Now I really want to know.

Bucky: *sighing* I once stole a cake. Just to steal it. No reason. Just a cake.

Clint: *laughing* That’s… actually kind of amazing.

[purple--queen]

Clint *in the middle of a mission*: so what are you wearing?

Bucky *unimpressed*: a gun

[winterhawk-buddy]

Bucky: Stop laughing, weirdo, get a doctor!

Clint, crying or laughing, maybe boths: I'm not laughing, I'm crying!

Bucky:

Bucky: Stop crying, weirdo, get a doctor!

[hurtspideyparker]

Kate: I'm painfully aware of the people you've slept with

Clint: What? How could you possibly know that

Kate: You have this quirk

Natasha: Clint hurry up, we're leaving!

Clint: One sex—one sec!

Kate: That's the one

Clint: That's not a thing

Bucky: She said NOW Barton

Clint: ONE SEX—shit, SEC

Kate: 🤨

Clint: ...Please don't spread this information

[clintbartonruinedmylife]

Natasha: I sleep with a gun under my pillow. Sam: I sleep with a knife. Clint: Both of you are pathetic. Sam: Oh yeah? What do you sleep with? Clint: Bucky.

[headcanonthings]

Clint: Bucky is playing hard to get. Clint: Little does he know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.