#insertname099

[yuseirra]

@insertname099

Hello~ you probably NEVER expected this out of me but I really wanted to respond to these tags!! I really love reading them~

I just went on and on with it...thinking about this subject was fun, in short though, you made me want to step out of my comfort zone. I'm so used to holding back and wrapping things up in a softer way (for more reasons than one) but one day maybe I can go "ape shit" with things (would ANYONE like seeing something like that though, with my artstyle??? can it actually look..;; that powerful? I wonder)

in regards to the original tag, I was thinking about what the character went through when he was really young. How he would have felt when he was ten or maybe younger than that even, when things first started happening... It's...probably something that will never be discussed in depth and I wonder if they should go there but... I thought about it a bit, jotted and sketched a little, but I came back out. Whatever I'd come up with wouldn't be canon anyway (all my works are but yeah) I felt like crying a little. It's horrible. Although what I feel would be nowhere near to what people would actually feel you know? It's rude to think I'd understand. I should really make a donation to a childcare foundation or something sometime~

Again, to you and for all... I'm grateful for you seeing my works :) I'm glad I can share them here, I do get shy and embarrassed but I don't feel so lonely when I have people who enjoy them. I actually never get used to posting even after all these years I've been drawing, at this rate, I feel like it'd be impossible for me to get full of myself...

[hexcodewisteria]

for the fanfic WIP ask game!

stares at my insane wall of fanfic wips. for purposes of not making this into a colour of my wips post, i'll just name the wips that i intend to fully finish writing. thanks for the tag @aihoshiino!!!

the rules: make a new post with the names of all the files in your wip folder, regardless of how non descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have wips.

WIPs:

my insane jinmaosui knh politics au: it is Exactly as it sounds (as titled in google docs)

the lyric book and other short stories: essentially, what if ai and kyun became friends post viewpoint b?

paratise / from iron to red drench: hikaru finally succeeds in resurrecting ai but something is....wrong

161 au: aqua and hikaru both survive after The Stab

stage presence: introspective fic about the first gen bkomachi members and why they did/didn't give permission to be casted in the 15YL movie

tagging: @taffingtons, @insertname099, @viewpointb, @akane-kurokawa and anyone else who's interested!!

[yuseirra]

@insertname099 ahh thank you for your great insight 'v')/ You make me think even more about my own works sometimes!

For this...The idea was subconsciously there. I really enjoy thinking about how characters would feel and think about each other, in this one, I had Hikaru lay out the things he'd have thought if he found out the way Ai had thought about herself. This is a monologue he's having. But it's not something he can actually get an answer for. Note how he refers to Ai and the things they had between them in the past tense, except in the last panel where he refers to how he's still feeling and what he's doing in the present tense! So yes, he's talking to Ai who's in the past while he's in the present. That's how Ai couldn't get anything across except her expressions, they have a barrier of time and space between them in reality. You're REALLY sharp, I love it!

There's another reason I didn't have Ai refute or respond to him in this one. She'd have gone "No!" toward what he said on the first page, right? There's no way she felt he was dirty. (God, I really wish the artists did justice to his character. The way he described how Ai left him is norm Ai in 154 was so sad. I felt really sorry upon reading that.) but I want CANON to give a clearer answer about this one and all the rest of the things I let him say that follow. Remember how I said I am very strict about following canon yesterday? Even if I portray Ai to go "No! I love you" etc and come up with an answer that she'd tell him for this case, canon didn't give a clear resolution on what to make of her current approach- how her feelings towards him would be now yet so what I make at this point in time would only be my self-satisfaction. That's why I left it at that. It's the real Ai that should make some sort of commentary on these thoughts, how would she take the current him and all (I'm trying my best to make out, and I do draw based on my convictions but we actually don't know how it would be exactly until her soul appears or something. I hope she still loves him dearly and has some pity..; seeing how her son turned out to be though? UGHHH what if she's really angry and upset and wants him to rot in hell forever HUH?? HUH?? OH I'd HATE seeing that.)

Still, it'd be hard to notice, but the hand in the last panel is Ai's, not Hikaru's. I put that in picturing she'd want to reach out and console him (and that part IS following canon, not just my wishful thinking! She wanted to help him if he became lost) I really am serious about trying to be accurate/keeping to canon in my own way!

So this was my reasoning behind having formed this particular comic strip this way :)

I may also be able to draw really wholesome stuff with them having fulfilling convos and her being supportive...For this particular one, I made it intentionally indirect, for things haven't been completely resolved, and what's happened to Aqua's making me feel so complicated. My firm idea would be that they shouldn't make Hikaru, the guy an idol loved enough to wish to keep their children, the greatest evil in the comic that the main protagonist should risk all to take down and throw his own life to murder. I don't get that reasoning and it leaves me to wonder what the author would wish to express through it if things really are concluded that way. But I'll wait around till they show us, there isn't a lot left anyway~...

I feel whatever happened, happened because he really couldn't afford to lose her... it's sad how Ai didn't value herself so much, she was everything to him and that's probably how he went so far if he did

[yuseirra]

He's referred to as the "jewel" and she's the "star", I always thought that was so clever in many ways.

Took reference from the lyrics:

星は宝石の憧れ "The stars are the jewels' aspiration." (Mephisto)

あらゆる視界をジャック "Hijacking every view." その輝きはエゴイスティック "Its radiance is egotistic." 誰のものでもない、最愛のファタール！ "Belonging to no one, the beloved fatal!"(Fatal)

Also inspired from the tags I got earlier!! @insertname099 thank you so much for these tags!!♥

this was a really good point...it's made me think about it once again~

[yuseirra]

wanted to expand on the idea that he wears suits because he wants to see Ai with his best looks on...

what Ai says is from these tag by @insertname099 (thank you!// these have been giving me a lot of ideas lately!!)> #ALSO while i think that he wears suits all the time mostly as an easy way to play the role of the Suave Millionaire CEO#like formal menswear is so regimented that's it easy for him (someone who probably was also from a children's home and wasnt born rich)#to use it to fit into the high power corperate world that he's lived in since he was an adult#its a part of his social camouflage#like he's always been one to try and fit in with others and play the role of how others see him after all

Mhm, I also agree with it, couldn't have said it any better-

it's an idea that can coexist with> #BUT the thought that he's always wearing suits because Ai once said that he would look good in one#and that he always wears suits because he wants to look his best whenever he mets Ai again#and for someone as self hating and probably passively suicidal as him he probably thinks that the day he dies could come anytime...#that thought is just so. augh#my heart. its taking tick damage. oof. ouch. oof. augh.#he loves her so much... he wants her to see him at his best...

I really love these tags ;v;///all the likes, reblogs, tags.. they motivate me to keep going, thank you so much. I'm sure it's been making me draw twice as much as I would have without them, it means a lot!

I personally see Hikaru's character as someone who has Ai as his core, he's devised to be her partner from the character development stage. So whatever he does...I see it having to do with Ai or his feelings toward her. He's that kind of character :) I like that about him!