#inspiration: Sublime - Doin' Time

[demialwrites]

Butterfly in a Jar Ch 5

AO3 Link

Pet play, manipulation, no prior discussion of boundaries

You get up on your knees to allow you to open his suit jacket. You might as well see what your new puppy looks like and use some positive reinforcement while you're at it. He watches your hands work, as they next unbutton his dress shirt. And of course, there's an undershirt in your way. Your turn to tut, pulling it up. He has to undo his belt for that, but you grab his arm after in case he gets the idea to undo more.

“What other people wouldn't give to sit on a Shinra lap,” he says lightly, an obvious suggestion hidden underneath.

“I wasn't sent here to-” You stop, about to gag.

“To what?”

You can't believe you have to complete the disgusting sentence. “Continue the family line.”

Rufus is unbothered by your disgust. “You had me fooled.”

“Oh? And how many sat on your lap?”

“I'll tell you my number if you tell me yours.”

The conversation has taken a stupid turn. You slip your fingers under the collar and spread your fingers, digging them into the skin. When you let go, he had been holding his breath so he breathes out and goes silent, pacified for now. You lower your attention to his chest. Judging by his softly defined pectorals currently at rest, he's been using the workout equipment, but he's been neglecting the proper diet to go with it. It looks like he went into a cutting phase too early without much bulking.

You slide your seat back but not far enough to where he was suggesting prior. After spending all its time hidden under layers of clothes, his skin is soft and you have to feel it under your fingers. You run your hands gently over his skin, paying particular attention to the area below his neck, making him softly exhale and relax even more. He's as blindingly pale as you would have guessed, after being stuck on this floor with no windows. There are a few light brown moles scattered across his abdomen. A sparse trail of coarse, blonde hair leads south. You brace your other hand on his collarbone area and teasingly flick a nipple with the other. Even with barely any attention on one, its twin perks up, as well. He's sensitive, suggesting it's been a while. You lean down to suck on it, enjoying the dimpled and velvety texture on your tongue.

He swallows a groan, adam's apple disappearing briefly beneath the collar. That naturally leads your mouth to his neck, intending to suck and leave a mark below the line of the collar. The hand not on his collarbone gropes on its way downward but sadly, there isn't much to dig your fingers into. You're thinking that's something you will have to work on when you catch the rustling of clothing. You grab his arm again before he has a chance to touch himself through his trousers. He yanks it from your grip in frustration.

“What is this?” he asks, treating you to yet more sarcasm. “A belly rub for the dog on the floor?”

Before you can ask if he's heard of foreplay, he hooks his limbs on your body and pulls you down, rolling you under him.

“That’s better,” he whispers, leaning down towards your neck, perhaps to return the favour.

No one told you he could do things like that. Maybe he picked up a few tricks from being stuck down here with the Turks. The nipple you previously gave loving attention to, finds itself being pinched between your fingernails. Rufus sags on his arms, moaning in your ear.

“Get. Off.”

He backs off, kneeling next to you, hands held palms facing you. You read confusion and disappointment on his face before he tucks it behind a cold expression.

“Why are you really here?” he sneers. “You're not here because you want to be, are you?”

“That's not entirely true.”

You had considered a more vague and less truthful answer before settling on that one. Give too much information and he could use it against you later. But he's also direct and might appreciate that from you.

He stands, silently fixing his clothes. He eventually turns to you with sparkling eyes and a smile. But not one that's happy. One that makes you think, Here is the Vice President of Shinra. The self-centred one that plays games with people to get what he wants. Like his father yet not. Your heart skips a beat, in fear and excitement.

Rufus agrees to tone down his obsession to keep you from getting in trouble. You ask what he wants in return.

“You,” he simply replies.

He did say you were his type but that's still a shock to hear. And there's no way he's going to roll over this easily. Even so, it's been hard enough getting a handle on him. If he gets too attached, that would just create new problems. But you doubt that’s the case here. He speaks as if he can just acquire you like he might buy an object by handing over a sum of money.

Your face contorts in disgust again. “I’m not interested in being another one of those…”

You don’t finish the sentence but judging by the inclination of his head, he understands. Another one of those you slept with and probably discarded immediately after. Probably people numerous and of all kinds. Okay, your thoughts are probably running away with themselves.

“What?” he laughs. “You want to be special?”

“No. I want you to behave,” you say, emphasizing the last word because he still isn't hearing it.

“Once again, I ask, do you want to be special? I’ve spent my entire life behaving how I want to get what I want. Why should I stop for you?”

You feel the mask slip. All the frustration at his behaviour, and this situation, that had been accumulating inside you has reached the limit. The cornered animal energy you were running on has run out. You have to turn around or risk him seeing you fighting back tears. The way you try to swallow it down and control your breathing probably tips him off, anyway. You can’t just do your job and go home? Why does this stubborn brat have to risk your life and ask you about being special? It’s confusing. And this is all for his benefit, anyway. This whole time you've been wrestling with each other for control and right now he’s winning. This doesn’t just hurt your pride, it makes you feel beaten down and tired.

“I’m done,” you finally say.

“No, you're not.”

It doesn’t matter why he says it. The assuredness with which he says it pisses you off.

“Shut up.”

Your next thought is a stretch but you’re desperate. You whip back around before your second wind has a chance to die down. You don't know what obnoxious expression he has because you can’t stand to look at his face. Right now, it's all obnoxious. He doesn’t stop you from hooking the leash on the collar, making you think you’re right. You wrap the leash around the back of your hand twice and drag him over to the bed. He doesn’t stop you, again, but he doesn’t exactly help, either, choosing to stumble awkwardly. Stubborn until the end, it seems. When you get there, you struggle and strain, getting one of the legs of the bed off the floor just enough to slip under the loop on the end of the leash. You push him down into a seated position on the bed using a hand on his shoulder.

You see now that Rufus has, conveniently for you, left the handcuffs on the floor next to the bed. You snatch them up. You have one of his wrists inserted into one of the metal loops when he starts up again.

“I was wondering-”

“Shut up.”

You tighten the handcuffs, remembering to stop short of actually hurting him at the last second. The rapid clicking they make is almost orgasmic to your ears. Unlike this brat’s voice right now.

“-when I’d see some real fire. You should have-”

“Shut up!”

You pull the black cloth from his neck. It’s a silk scarf, because of course it is. You stuff it in his mouth. It easily goes past his lips but his teeth provide some resistance. With the force that you have to use to push past them, you run into his tongue and end up making him gag. Choking on his own stubbornness, as it were. Now that his wrists are bound, he can’t take the scarf out. All he has left is his eyes to taunt you with.

You sigh out the rest of your lingering frustration before shouting, “Couldn’t you just behave?!”

He tilts his head curiously, smiling with his eyes. Don’t you know me by now? Of course not.

“Ugh!”

You use the last dregs of your creative energy to pull the pillowcase off his pillow and down over his head. Now he looks ridiculous, harmless, and like you kidnapped him in his own room. You smile a little.

“Is this too much? Should I let you out?” you ask, remembering to be somewhat responsible.

He tilts his head in the same way as before.

“Okay, but remember that I gave you the option. I'm going to get my book and read now.” And you'd better be ready to behave when I'm done.

You sit back on the bed with the novel in hand so that he knows you're nearby. You were half-tempted to go find Tseng to complain but you wouldn't be here if he could do anything about it in the first place.

You're engrossed in the novel, too emotionally drained to concentrate on anything else. You look down and find Rufus has laid himself on his side, head in your lap. Your hand has already placed itself on the side of his head. You turn to the next page.

Forty-five minutes later, you slide the pillowcase off. Rufus blinks, squinting at the sudden increase in brightness. You realize now that you didn't need to put the end of the leash under the bed leg but you were feeling extra petty in the moment.

“Well? Are you going to behave?”

He rolls over onto his back, looking up at you. He yawns, then replies in a subdued tone, “Since you keep insisting.”

Your earlier agreement, the one before he pushed you past your limit, hasn't changed. He will eat all his meals and sleep eight hours a night.

“I only need seven,” he’d interjected.

Whatever. He behaves and you agree to stop asking Reno to drag him out of the forbidden room. However, a new issue arises the next day at breakfast.

[iwanthermidnightz]

Not only did Lana Del Rey start her Coachella headlining set early, but her entry was epic.

On Friday, April 12, at 11:16 p.m. the festival main stage screens showed an aerial view of Del Rey and her entourage rapidly approaching. As she neared, it became clear her crew was not rolling up on the expected golf carts that often shuttle stars around the Indio, Calif. fest, but rather motorcycles. And as a snippet of her never-to-be-officially-released song “Jealous Girl” played – with the lyric “Baby, I’m a gangster too” on loop – Del Rey’s motorcade took a lap through the crowd as she smiled and waved to the thousands of fans gathered for this very moment.

“What’s up, Coachella,” she asked casually, after making her way to center stage and offering a small smile before performing “Without You” into a fusion of Sublime’s “Doin’ Time” with “Summertime Sadness.” “I’m so happy to be here,” she added with another faint, and even briefer, smile. But keep in mind, this is Lana Del Rey – sad girl pop president and eternally committed to the bit, whether she’s headlining Coachella or not.

As such, her demeanor matched the elaborate set design that looked much like a dilapidated version of the Gatsby Mansion long after it had thrown its last party. Making it, of course, the perfect imaginary scene for Del Rey to host a late-night shindig of her own complete with a swing band and roaring 20s-inspired backup dancers.

Early into the set, Del Rey noted that she last played Coachella “exactly 10 years ago to the day” (during which she debuted single “West Coast”), before softly speak-singing, “We’re still doing it.” Yet, it’s not the fact that she is still here a decade in that’s impressive, but more so that she is still entirely and unapologetically herself after so many years – or at least, that the persona of Lana Del Rey is still so intact. In fact, across her nine studio albums, Del Rey has seemingly become even more herself, taking bigger experimental swings and offering longer, more eyebrow-raising track titles along the way.

And tonight, her headlining set seemed to be a quiet celebration of such, during which Del Rey sauntered across the stage performing career-spanning hits that, in a festival setting like Coachella, felt almost like underground gems that she was carefully unearthing. Even the expected “headliner stunts” were delivered with a delicate touch: She performed “Ride” while slowly spinning from within a circular, leaf-covered swing; delivered a gorgeous a cappella rendition of “The Grants” alongside her trio of backup singers; and, most notably of all, sang “Hope Is a Dangerous Thing for a Woman Like Me to Have – but I Have It” via hologram accompanied by collaborator and close friend Jack Antonoff on piano, who co-produced the track. (Earlier in the night, she was joined by Jon Batiste on piano for an extended version of “Candy Necklace.”)

The hologram – though a bit morbid, especially considering the lyric, “Hello, it’s the most famous woman you know on the iPad/Calling from beyond the grave” – perfectly punctuated the spirit of the set. As evidenced by her closing song selection of “Young and Beautiful” (which was prominently used in The Great Gatsby), it became increasingly clear that Del Rey had come to make a statement.

As she sings on “Young and Beautiful: “I’ve seen the world, done it all, had my cake now. I’ve seen the world, lit it up as my stage now.” All the while, the song’s primary question loomed: “Will you still love me when I’m no longer young and beautiful?”

Earlier in the night, Billie Eilish delivered an affirmative answer.

Following online rumors that the superstar would be making a guest appearance during Del Rey’s set (an artist Eilish has long been a fan of), she appeared toward its end atop the arched trellis to duet on “Ocean Eyes” and “Video Games” with Del Rey. After the two were done, they sat a moment longer, seeming genuinely stunned by one another’s presence. “Get the f–k out of my face,” laughed Eilish, speaking to her hero.

“Yep, that’s the voice of your generation, the voice of our generation,” replied Del Rey. “I”m so f—ing grateful she’s standing next to me right now.” To which Eilish replied: “This is the reason for half you b—-es existence, including mine.”

That simple sentence cut to the core of the evening. Sure, the set was spotty at parts – with moments of darkness and silence in between many songs and a handful of issues with mic volume, all of which Del Rey audibly called out. And yes, Del Rey’s soft-spoken tendencies on and off stage may have not made her the most obvious headlining act to kick-off Coachella. But it’s her impact that remains undeniable.

But don’t take my word for it, take it from “the voice of our generation.” The artist who we may not have had it not been for an artist like Lana Del Rey doing what she has and will always do best: being Lana Del Rey.

As she delivered the final note of “Young and Beautiful,” the band picked up steam and her dancers reappeared with champagne bottles in hand as fireworks exploded into the night sky – all the makings of a signature Gatsby blowout. And as Del Rey rode off on motorcycle, just as she came in, the party on stage continued long after she was gone. And that’s the point.

Her undeniable impact is also unforgettable – and exactly what makes Lana Del Rey the icon she is. And one well worth the celebration.

[ihaveneverbeentothemoon]

2 more days...or i guess one, but still....going insane

saturday better hurry up and get over here im so excited to watch the shining, ive been itching all week for it 🙏 if anything gets in the way of my plans im gonna be really sad

ive been quoting the shining allll day to myself, i got to use a quote like twice with my friend so i was happy, it was unleashing my true self

also i read like ten chapters of the shining, so heh..yk... not to brag or anything....😼seriously tho i was so glad i read that much, i got to the bit where jack's backstory w/ his abusive father is revealed and he has his nightmare and all that, and i stopped reading just after he went to room 217 to check if the old woman in the tub was still there. I LOVE THE SHINING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i was so exhausted today and my uncle asked 'so have u been watching anything recently?' and oh... my god.... i cant tell you how long ive been waiting for someone, ANYONE to ask me that. SOOOOOOO long, and ik i could just talk about it but idk i just dont so i wait around, and everything i practiced in my head, everything i wanted to say ages ago if anyone ever asked me smth like that, just went away, bc i was so exhausted today so i had not a single thought, but i was insanely happy, and was glad i could finally talk abt it to someone. it wasnt enough tho, i still want to talk </3 PLEASE GOD!!!!!!!!! PLEAAAASEEEE 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 SEND ME SOMEONE, ANYONE I CAN TALK TO ABT THE SHINING!!!!!!!!!!!

also i got embarrassed bc my uncle asked 'why do u like the shining so much' or smth like that and i didnt have an answer. like the question didnt embarrass me but the fact that i didnt know what to say, and i told him that, i said 'idk! i just like it' thats the thing with me liking things, i feel like if i like something, i know the reasons why, but as soon as someone asks me my mind just goes blank and i embarrass myself bc i dont have an answer for them. that reminds me of the time when i first read the catcher in the rye, absolutely loved it, and related to holden soooo much, like im not kidding ive never related to a character that much before, i almost cried reading that book, then i went and told my friend abt all that and suggested she read it. she did, and she said it was good, but asked why i related to holden, and ofc i know why, i could go on and on, but in that moment when she asked me, i just didnt know! it was stupid, it always is when i blank out like that

also did u know lana del rey's 'doin' time' is like inspired by or whatever by sublime's 'doin' time'? i'm not a fan of lana del rey and i kind of like sublime but as soon as i heard sublime's 'doin' time' it took me a bit but i recognised it, and its basically pretty similar to lana del rey's 'doin' time' but anyway!

also i watched superbad again last night. michael cera is me, just trust me please, also i have a big crush on him so idk if that's weird or like egotistical or me or smth but i love him

[talkinfanfic]

Episode 304: Interview with Jeevey

🎙 LISTEN HERE! Or find us on Apple Podcast, Spotify, and everywhere else you can stream podcasts!

Sara sits down with the amazing, sublime, talented @jeevey, a legend in the Oasis RPF and Gcest world. Jeevey talks about the challenges of finding time to express yourself amid real life responsibilities; telling the truth through amateur writing; the joys of RPF and her start in the U2 fandom; rejecting the shame of writing taboo topics, and why she likes writing about interesting, compelling characters versus ‘unproblematic’ more acceptable figures (BORING!)

Jeevey is also the fandom expert on Noel Gallagher’s pre-Oasis career as a roadie for the Inspiral Carpets, and his friendship (ahem) relationship, with the now legendary Mancunian Clint Boon. Jeevey chronicles a Clint/Noel romance in her beautiful ongoing work, “Transistor”.

We also mention Jeevey’s recent trip to the UK to see both Gallagher brothers in concert; a highlight of which was Jeevey’s front row view of High Flying Birds’ guitarist Gem Archer’s rather, er, overwhelming and impressive physical presents. PRESENCE, I mean!

Yes, Sara brings you another 3 hour episode, but c’mon. You know. What else you doin’ today, rasta?! Don’t Go Away, Stand By Me! Some Might Say that we’re gonna Live Forever through our incestuous bandfic obsession! D’You Know What I Mean?

Time Caps

0m - Introduction

12:23 - Interview starts. Jeevey talks early writing and how she got into the RPF fandoms.

22:00 - Jeevey on how listening to Noel’s solo material funneled her into the Oasis fic and gcest fandoms. Baby’s first gcest fic! 

32:00 - “I don’t want to bring up the Loch Lomond kiss already, but…” aka “collective mainstream fan cognitive dissonance” aka “WOW just LOOK AT THAT SETLIST!”

37:00 - Sara asks Jeevey if she has a favorite brother to write. Complicated!Noel and Scary!Liam 

49:22 - “The Passing of Peggy Gallagher”

57:45 - “Broken Arrow River”

1:39:17 - Let’s talk about Clint Boon! And getting into “Transistor”

1:54:35 - Digging more into “Transistor”

2:08:19 - Exploring and researching LGBTQ culture and subcultures in the UK in the 1980s (Lesbians, punks, Section 28, the AIDS crisis, etc)

2:32:40 - Rapid Fire Questions!

2:43:30 - Jeevey on seeing Noel and Liam live in the UK in 2022!

2:49:45 - Jeevey on Gem Archer’s overwhelming physical beauty

2:59:26 - Last question. What does fanfiction (and RPF) mean to you?

Episode References

Work - "The Passing of Peggy Gallagher" by Jeevey  

Work - "Broken Arrow River" by Jeevey 

Work - "Transistor" by Jeevey 

Fanlore article on the U2 banfic website loveisblindness.net (now down). It’s sister LJ community was “U2 Slash” has been ported over to U2 Slash on Dreamwidth

Rec - "Close" by likeamadonna (U2 fic, Bono/Edge, c2002)   

Rec - "Fetish" by likeamadonna (Bono/Edge) started in 2002, then went on hiatus for 14 years until the author finished it in 2016! Incredible!! @likeamadonnau2

Resource - “Gallaghercest, a Primer” by Snickfic (LiveJournal) 

Resource - “Mad for Our Kid” quote archive 

Resource - Oasis Interviews Blogspot 

Fic Archive - “Mad for Our Kid” LJ Community

Fic - "Whatever I Choose" by Jeevey baby’s first gcest fic!

Twitter post from "Mainly Oasis" on the anniversary of Oasis at Loch Lomond. Aka, "WOW What a Setlist, that!" Or, "Collective Fandom Cognitive Dissonance re: brothers kissing." 

“I AM DISTURBANCE” GQ Interview, Feb 1998 (Oasis Interviews Blogspot)

Fic Rec - "Hawkmoon" U2 Cowboy fic, Index of entries on Livejournal

Youtube -  Liam singing "Once" and looking GODLIKE at MTV Unplugged (Hull City Hall, 2019) 

Influence - Youtube - trailer for “Silent Tongue” the River Phoenix film we mention that was an aesthetic and tonal influence on Jeevey’s “Broken Arrow River”

Influence - Ford Madox Ford’s “Parade’s End” (Goodreads)

Influence - Robert Duvall’s film “The Apostle” (1997) trailer

Clint & Noel in Bed - "Aw, look at us." (Jeevey tumblr post with XFM clip, 2006) 

1993 Inspiral Carpets Interview (a good example of Clint Boon manspreading and dominating the interview, and Tom Hingley the singer and frontman quietly holding the mic for Clint)

Resource - “Meet the lesbian punks who've been written out of London's history” (Time Out, April 2017) article jeevey linked on tumblr for context on UK queer culture in the 80s

Gcesty tune - “Take Me” by Oasis (1992 demo remastered by a fan in 2021) and lyrics

Fic Rec - “Stop the Clocks” by @savageandwise (Liam/Noel present day)

Fic Rec - time's slipping away (and what will it hold for me?) by mansgotalimit (young!Liam and present day!Noel, WIP)

Fic Rec - "The Swing of the Planets in Orbit" and its sequel "Memories in Your Lungs Like Air" by @snickfic (Liam/Noel ABO AU series) 

Contact and Credits:

Music: Kyle Laurin "Oasis Supersonic Theme" (Twitter: @cobrakylemusic)

Tumblr: talkinfanfic.tumblr.com 

Instagram: @talkinfanfic

Email: talkinfanfic@gmail.com 

[thexhostess]

Choose 1 or more from the below categories in any combination for a story (Jax x reader.)

I thought it would be fun to combine only a small handful of inspiration. I chose these images/songs and scenes for the vibe they evoke, and think it will be fun to use them as mini writing prompts to see how the vibe of each one can work together to fuel inspiration for a Jax x reader.

Who are you waiting for a ride from?

Tom Ford and champagne. Bubbly before you hit the road with Jax or a deliberate gesture with THAT lip colour and a DGAF attitude to make him jealous?

A punishment? A reminder?..Or something else?

SOA Scene:

S1 E1: Jax driving down the road in the afternoon light.

S1 E2: Jax at a family/club dinner hosted by Gemma.

S1 E2: Jax hooking up with Croeater Emily to help the MC. Reader finds out and is jealous?

Song/Lyric: 

 ‘Evil, we've come to tell you that she's evil, most definitely Evil, ornery, scandalous and evil, most definitely. The tension, it's getting hotter. I'd like to hold her head underwater.’...'I love her so bad. But she treats me like shit.' - Sublime - Doin’ Time / (cover by Lana Del Rey.)

 ‘Down on the West coast, they got a sayin' "If you're not drinkin', then you're not playin'....‘I get this feeling like it all could happen, that's why I'm leaving, you for the moment, you for the moment, Boy Blue, yeah, you. - West Coast - Lana del Rey.

‘I got my red dress on tonight. Dancin' in the dark in the pale moonlight. Done my hair up real big, beauty queen style. High heels off, I'm feelin' alive.’ - Summertime Sadness - Lana del Rey.

[theeverythingelizabethblog]

Norman F****** Rockwell Review

REVIEW: NORMAN F****** ROCKWELL - LANA DEL REY5*/5*

Lana Del Rey’s sixth studio album, ‘Norman Fucking Rockwell’ bids farewell to her past patriotism and in turn expresses that she’s ‘still looking for her own version of America’. Named after famous author and painter, Rey’s complex album merges greed, fear, destruction and lust with melancholic vocals and dream-like instrumentals. With nods to the old poets like Sylvia Plath and Rockwell to 20th century musicians like Led Zeppelin and Doris Day, Rey pursues the feeling of hopelessness through a dreamlike state.Although ‘fresh out of fucks forever’ (Venice Bitch), Rey shows her progression from her Born To Die era. Appearing in the charts with the most popular song of the album ‘Doin’ Time’ - A cover of Sublime’s song titled the same that reached number 6 in the UK. The seventies-esque nature of her sound entwines with the band to create an eerie nod to living the easy Californian life, even calling out ‘Bradley’, Sublime’s lead signer and guitarist who sadly passed away from a drug overdose in 1996. From a So-Cal ska band to a baroque pop artists, Rey’s hazy, atmospheric vocals interlace with the groups sound to create a more than unusual upbeat tempo track.

However fans of Rey flock towards the more down-tempo beats that she usually creates, like what is seen in ‘Venice Bitch. This mammoth 10 minute track is a true melancholic ballad that wraps up the feeling of hopelessness in America, and more so in LA, where dreams seemingly go to die. This poignant theme is carried through until the very end with ‘Hope Is A Dangerous Thing For A Woman Like Me To Have - But I Have It’, with a sorrowful expedition of happiness, or the lack of it. Following cameo’s from Lust of Life, Rey and Antonoff take a dramatic turn by taking famous names and collaborating physically like A$AP ROCKY in ‘Summer Bummer’, to collaborating through inspiration and admiration. In ‘America’s best American record,’ Led Zeppelin’s ‘Houses Of The Holy’ was used as inspiration, using the lyrics, ‘My baby used to dance underneath the architecture. He was seventeen in spirit, Nineties in his frame of mind’. Whereas in ‘Fuck It I Love You’, they use the line, ‘dream a little dream of me’, gesturing towards Ozzie Nelson’s 1931 hit of the same name. Some other notable references include Leonard Cohen, Elton John, Tommy James and the Shondells, Robert Frost and other odes to Nathanial Hawthorne, Sylvia Plath and Slim Aarons - truly highlighting the complexities and multilayered structure to the album by embracing the greats through dream like tones, eerie pitches and an underlying darkness.Lust for Life, and Honeymoon, her two latest releases prior have been poorly received to the wider audience, leaving Rey a lot to live up to. However, this album has seen Rey chart in the UK for the first time since ’West Coast’, a track from the second studio

album which peaked at 17 in March 2014. This means that Rey has proved that her etherial sound, candid vocals and constant self- reflecting lyrics are still warmly received. Her debut EP, under her real name Lizzie Grant back in 2010 to todays release in 2019 has shown that she is a contender for becoming truly timeless. Singing about men from bars, freedom and fame, Rey encapsulates the essence of the wreckage of being alive. Rey grows up and grows out in her newest album, revealing even more of the underbelly of pop culture. ‘Norman Fucking Rockwell’is definitely up there with one of the best albums of her career. And certainly the best album this year.

[linphd]

dabi x villain!reader | mean one [sequel]

dabi x reader

female reader

Dabi and (Y/N)'s relationship is now very ambiguous, however they both love to torture each other.

warning : mention of sex

I’m sorry I can’t put a link of the prequel bc if I do I’ll need my computer and if I edit something I wrote on my phone on my computer it’ll make it ugly like some stories are already bc i edited them lmao

the lyrics are from doin' time by sublime check out lana's cover!!!

dabi's pov

Me and my girl,

we got this relationship.

I love her so bad,

but she treats me like shit.

         We had planned to attack a group of heroes that was in the mountains, so for tonight, we were camping. Not wanting to leave much proofs, we only took one big tent for all of us, so Kurogiri would only have one tent to teleport back to our League. Less things, less work for him. I preferred to be all alone, but I didn't really have a choice.

           But I was quite content with the fact that (Y/N) was there. The League was quite mad at her since she broke all their stuff again -I was there, but I only watched. So of course, she came to sleep next to me. She's kinda my girl. I mean, everyone in the League knows what's going on between us ; but we don't talk about it. Even between (Y/N) and I, we never mention this weird relationship we have.

           We act like it's all about sex, like we're only each other's stress reliever, but we know it's not. And that's why we're trying to prove to the others that we don't like each other. Once, she was trapped by a hero, and I simply grinned at her and walked away. So to avenge herself, she managed to make everyone mad at me, for some reason.

Evil,

I've come to tell you that she's evil,

most definitely.

       Anyway, during the night I felt something on my chest, so I woke up a bit ; she was hugging me. I guess it was pretty cold in the forest, and since I'm warm all the time, she took me for her heater. I thought of what she would say when the others would wake up, and I was right to think about it.

          The next morning (okay, afternoon, we kinda wake up late) she gasped and jumped. ''Oh my God, why would you hold me like that !'' I raised an eyebrow. ''I wasn't holding you at all, you're the one who took me for your heater.'' I grinned, since all the other villains were looking at us like we were horrible actors. They all knew what was going on. I don't know why we were still acting like nothing was happening.

          But no time to think about that, we had to get ready to prepare our attack. (Y/N) never talked to me while doing so, and I think I knew why. It wasn't only the fact that she hugged me in her sleep, that thing had been going on for a whole week, and that's why we were kinda distant with each other. She felt a bit emotional after the last time we fucked, and I decided it was just the right moment to tell her that she didn't mean anything to me and that I could find another girl. Why did I say that ? To prove myself that I didn't love her, I guess. But all I know is that she didn't come back to my room ever since. I fucked up bad.

Evil,

ornery scandalous and evil,

most definitely.

I kinda wanted her to forgive me, even though I went too far. So while we were fighting the heroes, I protected her as much as I could, but she was still giving me the cold shoulder. ‘’Hm, it will pass anyway. She'll miss me.’’ I think she thought she was invincible, that since she loved to make people's life hell and break their stuffs all the time, not caring about anyone, she was mad that she was attached to me. But that's only my theory.

We decided it was time to go back to the League when most of the heroes were defeated. 2 died in the process, but we didn't need to kill all of them, anyway. (Y/N) immediately went to her room, and Toga decided to tag along, so I didn't follow. Twice wanted to show me something anyway.

Days later, we met other villains to make an alliance with them, even though Tomura wasn't really found of Overhaul. I didn't care much, personality. Well, I didn't until one particular event. It was almost 5am that night, so I decided to take a walk since I couldn't sleep. What a surprise when I found him fucking my girl. He was fully clothed and was turning his back at me, however I could clearly see (Y/N)'s face, since she was resting on his shoulder. And she stared at me. And never she had went this far, I must've really hurt her.

The tension, is getting hotter.

I'd like to hold her head, underwater.

And since that night, I was the one who never came back to her room. But she was a fucking bitch, I missed her like hell. I never met someone I wanted to drown in a river or burn until they turn to ashes while wanting to fuck them at the same time. How was she doing that ? I guess she read me. She knew I was kinda like her and that I had fallen for her too.

We were in a tiny bus right now, we had to meet villains but they didn't want us to teleport there. I turned to look at (Y/N), she was a few seats behind me and was on the right side, while I was on the left one. She stared at me, and I knew what that meant. ''You said you could find any other girl, well I did find another boy while you were just talking shit.'' And I wanted to show her what it felt, but with who ? The other girls didn't have that attitude of hers. She was driving me nuts and no one had ever had.

We gonna run to the party,

and dance to the rythm,

it gets hotter.

However, I guess she was done playing when we got out of the bus. ''It was Toga. Even Overhaul doesn't know.'' She said, looking at me and walking away just after. I guessed she had forgiven me about what I said some weeks ago, while walking behind her.

           I knew, cause when I asked her why she asked Toga to do that and didn't do it herself, she answered : ''How could I do that to you ?''. And that's how I understood that she didn't have limits with anyone but me. I love her so bad. Maybe one day I’ll be able to tell her that. But I sure know that next time she’s getting emotional, I’m not going to hurt her like I did.

I can’t wait to see what we’ll do to torture each other next time.

the scene where they are sleeping in the tent is inspired by that one in TDI with Courtney and Duncan

I know it’s totally ooc from Overhaul but I haven’t caught up with the manga yet and I couldn’t think of another villain who’s not in the League djsjskls sorry okay 👉🏻👈🏻

[inevitableshott]

 SONGS  TO  WRITE  MY  MUSE  !!

WHETHER   IT   BE   MELODIES   THAT   GIVE   YOU   INSPIRATION   FOR   YOUR   MUSE   OR   SONGS   THAT   GET   YOU   INTO   THE   WRITING   MOOD   —   PICK   10   SONGS   YOU   FIND   TO   GIVE   YOU   THE   URGE,   THE   DRIVE,   OR   THE   CREATIVITY   TO   WRITE   FOR   YOUR   MUSE   !

I'm way too young to lie here forever / I'm way too old to try so whatever - (Bang | AJR): Yes, it’s got gunshots with the BANG BANG BANG but that’s not the reason it’s a ‘Mista Song’. The tone, the beat, the way it just sounds so relaxed ‘Pretend you know this song, everybody’ but ‘Hey come hang’. I can’t describe it but it just sounds like his fed up with his life even though it’s just starting.  

A-a-aye, I'm on vacation / Every single day 'cause I love my occupation - (Vacation | Dirty Head): Every. Single. Lyric. I feel Mista’s character. I feel him in this very song. How laid back it is, the fact he is a FREE MAN able to do what he pleases. I don’t think he loves being a Gangster that’s not what I’m saying but as a man who doesn’t want to do SHIT this is the simplest as it gets for him.                       “Van Gogh in my earlobe                       I can't hear, I'm here though                       I may be a weirdo, but this is my year, yo                       My life may be crazy                       My lack of the lazy has let me do shit that I love on the daily”

Free Your Body / Free Your Soul - (Mista’s Theme | Golden Wind OST): I don’t care it it makes me lame to put Mista’s own on this LISTEN TO THE DAMN THING?? IT IS MISTA. IT IS GUIDO MISTA. THE BEAT THE LYRICS THE GUNSHOTS IT GIVES ME ACTUAL CHILLS. And uuuggghhh the gun being clicked at the very end I am rising. 

Dum Dum | Baauer : This song doesn’t have lyrics per say but god damn does it sound like something Mista would listen to.

Summertime and the livings easy (Doin’ Time/Summertime | Sublime): Again, this whole list is just gonna me going ‘IT JUST SOUNDS LIKE MISTA TO ME’ and it does. It just does. The way it’s sang. Just feels like Mista. I don’t know fam.

(Lost My Way | Sickkick): I’m just gonna give you the main reason this song speaks to me:                  I lived in fear too, but I had to put on a brave mask         And keep proving to myself and to the gang, again and again                                        That I was not afraid Mista ignores so much negative feelings. Keeps them bottled up and represses them. This song pours it all out right at your feet and I live for it.

If I could find a way to see this straight / I'd run away / To some fortune that I, I should have found by now (Cough Syrup | Glee Cover): More sad times. Post VA Canon ending. Because I like to hurt myself. It’s just him trying to deal with and process the loss he’s had. Not just the deaths but Fugo being gone too. It sucks, man. Taking over as Underboss of Passione. It’s all hard to swallow. 

I am the latest colors, I hate the newest songs / I can't stand the lyrics, I'd never sing along (GRRRLS | AViVA): Again, I don’t know. Just feels like Mista to me. Maybe it’s how he’ll never be two-faced, how he sucks at hiding how he feels despite not wanting to feel at all. Hm.

The sky's falling, baby / Drop that ass 'fore it crash (Ascension | Gorillaz): It’s a mixture of “Mista would drop his ass to this song” and “Yeah this just feels like Mista”

Not a cloud in the sky, got the sun in my eyes / And I won't be surprised if it's a dream (Top of Creation  | The Carpenters): I would like to remind all of you this is Mista’s canon favorite group. This song, listening to it, feels like ‘Yeah, I can see now’. It’s hella chill, uplifting, and just makes you wanna curl back with a glass of wine and a nice book. Which, yes, I can see Mista doing.

tagged by: 

tagging: If you wanna, go for it. You have my blessing. Yes you. Thank you for reading.

[quarantineroulette]

Minor Disappointments’ 10 Least Disappointing Releases of 2019

I wasn’t going to compile a 2019 year-end list for a number of reasons (lack of time to listen to new music, general malaise, little time to write), but I’ve read so much bad end of year music writing that I feel like I must either stoke the embers or assist in extinguishing it. I don’t think I’m doing either here, but everyone likes list so here’s another.

I haven’t had time to really think about 2019 in songs but my favorite this year was, no kidding, a Tindersticks song featuring Robert Pattinson. Speaking of...

10) FKA twigs - Magdalene

  I really wish I hadn’t remembered that Pattinson and twigs dated because it put a slight damper on my enjoyment of this album. Instead of appreciating it in all its genre-destroying glory, as I did on my first listen, subsequent spins led to me becoming sidetracked by tabloid speculation over what RPattz must have done to have wronged this very singular artist. So, whether this is your first listen or 50th, forget all that I just wrote and instead let twigs fill your empty mind with her sometimes delicate, sometimes Kate Bush-evoking, wholly epic songs.

Favorite moment: It’s pretty commendable and bold to place the lead single as the closing track, especially if its something as monumentally gut-wrenching as “Cellophane.” Also, that video is the visual treasure everyone says it is, no fooling. 

9) Weyes Blood - Titanic Rising

If you’ve ever heard Karen Carpenter’s Beatles covers you might have some idea as to what this record is like. But beyond Natalie Mering’s cozy vocals and timeless compositions is an undercurrent of ambient mystery that sets everything ever so slightly askew. At times, Laurel Canyon vibes are completely dispelled for more crepuscular textures, as in the album’s centerpiece, the Julee Cruise-esque “Movies.” Who knows where Mering will go next, but her path, whether from the California sun or glow of the silver screen, is certainly bright. 

Favorite moment:  “A Lot’s Gonna Change”, “Andromeda”, “Everyday” - as strong of a three song run as on any release this year. 

8) Angel Olsen - All Mirrors

The cynic in me wanted to resist this album, but as soon as the cinematic strings kicked in on “Lark” I decided the enormous amount of critical hyperbole that was being thrown at it was mostly warranted. Stately, dramatic, occasionally synthy and largely devastating, All Mirrors taught me that sometimes you may find many of your favorite things in the unlikeliest of places. Please insure your heartstrings. 

Favorite moment: “Spring” which, like a lot of great songs, sounds a little like a fairground ride breaking down. 

7) Danny Brown - uknowhatimsayin¿

This might be the funnest album I’ve listened to all year. It can be hard to do positive but “Best Life” is as heartening as Nardwuar’s interview with Brown and fewer things are happier than that. With his fifth album, Brown has proven he can ably do every mood with aplomb. And if using cleaning references as euphemisms is your poison, then, hell, he can do that too. 

Favorite moment: “Hoes on my dick ‘cos I look like Roy Orbison.” Need I say more?

6) Omni - Networker

One of the strongest post-to-the-nth-degree-punk bands from the latter 2010s, I still have Omni’s 2016 debut, Deluxe, on heavy rotation. Networker, the trio’s third record and first on Sub Pop, has no shortage of twists, turns, technical dexterity, quirk and compositional audacity. Looks like I’ll be overplaying this one too. 

Favorite moment: I could listen to “Courtesy Call” over a hundred times and I still wouldn’t be able to guess what direction it’s going to go in. 

5) Aldous Harding - Designer

 Of all the artists on this list, I find Harding the most inspiring in both her songwriting and her performing style, which is arresting to say the least. The songs on Designer are paradoxically accessible and impenetrable, with seemingly breezy songs like “Weight of the Planets” leaving you with a feeling that’s a cross between a “wow!” and a “huh?”(perhaps a bit like this). Most impressive of all, Harding draws to mind such greats as Nick Drake, Syd Barrett and Nico while always sounding completely like herself. I honestly don’t know what layer of reality Harding is from, but we should all be thankful she’s residing in ours for the time being. 

Favorite moment: “The Barrel” had been in my YouTube queue for ages; after finally watched it I was left confused, mildly disturbed, amused and completely beguiled. This kookily hatted lady is just semi-dancing in a heavily-draped room for nearly five minutes and it’s the most fascinating video in years. If the video wasn’t entertaining enough, it also happens to have one of the funniest and sweetest comment threads on YouTube. Oh yeah, and the song is brilliant. 

4) Deerhunter - Why Hasn’t Everything Already Disappeared?

Deerhunter have really only misstepped once for me and that was with 2015′s Fading Frontier. Seeing as this is the band’s first full length since then, I had quite a bit of trepidation going in. Of course, a lot can happen in four years and Why Hasn’t Everything... is a thankfully thrilling addition to the band’s canon. Whether it be Cate Le Bon’s production, Bradford’s growing ease as a performer and eccentric, Lockett’s unexpectedly Low-esque "Tarnung,” or all of the above, this may well be Deerhunter’s most consistent release since Halcyon Digest. I’m even slightly tempted to say it’s better than it, but the sacrilege is too great.

Favorite moment: “What Happens to People” -- totally unique to the Deerhunter canon and already a classic. 

3) Lana Del Rey - Norman Fucking Rockwell!!

I never thought I could ever love an album with a Sublime cover on it, but here we are. In all fairness, the inclusion of “Doin’ Time” matters little when the originals on this treatise on Americana is so glorious.  Between the torchiness and the LA-specific witchiness of songs like “Bartender”, there’s not much on here that I’m able to resist. There may still be haters but ��The Greatest” drowns them out a little more with each play.  Favorite Moment: “And we were so obsessed with writing the next best American record” - yeah, thank you for doing that.  2) Karen O & Danger Mouse - Lux Prima Truth be told, the first time I listened to this record I cried when it ended because I didn’t want to leave its world. There may have been more radical records by newer artists in 2019, but hearing Karen O doing what she does best, as well as trying many new things, was such a joy to me. I’m probably among only a handful of people who wanted to hear Karen do a straight up disco song in 2019, but we got it and it’s something to be treasured for years to come. To paraphrase Sparks + Franz Ferdinand, collaborations don’t (often) work, but thanks to O’s flawless vocals and Brian Burton’s sometimes Dave Fridmann-esque production, this one is an exception.  Favorite Moment:  I’m tempted to say the whole thing, but “Turn the Light” and “Redeemer” are maybe two of the biggest surprises on an album of many. 

1) Purple Mountains - Purple Mountains 

Purple Mountains is quite possibly a new touchstone in gallows humor. Given David Berman’s suicide less than a month after the record’s release, what should now be a grim and discomfiting listen is so mordant and wry that it somehow overpowers its bleakness. More striking than perhaps even the moments of humor is the album’s tenderness, so beautifully represented in songs like “Snow is Falling in Manhattan” and “I Loved Being My Mother’s Son.” Although it’s undeniably tragic that there will be no more words from Berman, the ones he’s left us with will fascinate and move us for decades to come. 

Favorite Moment: Unsurprisingly, Berman’s lyrical dexterity on this album is beyond measure. From the internal and slant rhymes in a line like “see the plod of the flawed individual looking for a nod from God” to the layers of meaning in “the light of my life is going out tonight”, the wordsmithery here is mesmerizing. If I had the time, I would gladly write an essay on how Berman used color to further emphasize a point. Thanks for the music, David, but thanks especially for the words. 

[petersontoscano]

New Post has been published on Peterson Toscano

New Post has been published on https://petersontoscano.com/saucy-seriousfree-stuff-stream/

Saucy and Serious: FREE Stuff to Stream

Photo by Kate Remmer

While some are on the front lines of serving the public and tending to the sick, so many more of us must stay at home for the good of everyone. From scrolling through FB and Instagram, I see a whole lot of people are cooking and baking. I shocked my husband with an artisanal looking round loaf I pulled out of the oven. After more than 10 years together he had no idea I could bake bread. I guess I never stayed still long enough to get that domesticated.

But that is what boredom will do. I recently wrote about the Blessing of Boredom; you may feel overly blessed with it at the moment. To help, I am sharing some things for you.

You choose Seriously Silly or Seriously Sublime or both! FREE on-line screenings during #coronavirus isolation

I am pleased to announce I am offering free streaming of my two films.

Doin’ Time in the Homo Halfway House is my one-person, multi-character comedy about the trauma of conversion therapy. I lived for two years in the notorious Love in Action program. This is the same program that inspired the Boy Erased, the excellent memoir by Garrard Conley  that was turned into a film.

I do not have the writing chops that Conley possesses or the emotional strength to publish a memoir, but I do have comedy and characters. The film was shot and  by Morgan Jon Fox, who produced the award winning documentary, This is What Love in Action Looks Like.

See Homo No Mo for free. Click on the Buy $15.00 then type in the promo code: FREE

Doin’ Time in the Homo No Mo Halfway House from Peterson Thomas Toscano on Vimeo.

The other film I have released for free screening is Transfigurations–Gender Outlaws in the Bible. Similar to the performance lecture version which looks at gender non-conforming Bible characters, you experience a range of genders revealed in a variety of Bible characters. This rarely seen version though is a play without commentary and with a dramatic ending. Both versions were directed by Samuel Neff.

Watch Transfigurations for free.

Transfigurations – Gender Outlaws in the Bible from Peterson Thomas Toscano on Vimeo.

If you prefer the lecture version, you can watch it on Amazon Prime. I also have a free study guide you can use with either version.

Plenty of Podcasts

If you are looking for a podcast to entertain or enlighten you (or both,) I have four different podcasts I produce. You can find them wherever you get podcasts. Here are the most recent episodes.

Please feel free to share these resources on your social media and among your friends and followers.

(Featured Photo by Edwin Hooper on Unsplash)

a[rel~="mtli_filesize67121kB"]:after content:" (671.21 kB)"

[iwanthermidnightz]

Lana Del Rey practices “automatic singing.” Using the improvisational songwriting technique, she lets her voice carry over accompaniments, not commandeering where her words or melodies take her, accepting all ideas she has in the moment and editing them later. Lately, her voice has led her home, back to memories of her childhood in Lake Placid, N.Y., and to ruminations on relationships with her family and the divergent paths they’ve taken.

That subject underpins her upcoming ninth album, Did You Know That There’s a Tunnel Under Ocean Blvd (out March 24). Del Rey, 37, says she hesitantly began to unpack this subject matter with her previous album, Blue Banisters — but now, she’s ready to dig deeper. “At first I was so uncomfortable,” she says of the more personal material. “Then, by the grace of God, I just felt completely unburdened.”

As a singer-songwriter, this year’s Visionary honoree has embodied that word for over a decade. Her 2012 major-label debut, Born To Die, made her a star and defined music’s Tumblr era, as a young Del Rey toyed with both the romantic and the darker sides of the American dream. Her “world building,” as she calls it now, for her early work created a collage of beautiful and disparate images, pairing hip-hop aesthetics with references to the Kennedy family, Elvis Presley with John Wayne, and old Hollywood glamour with biker gang grit.

Since then, Del Rey has pushed musical boundaries — seamlessly peppering an album with features from Stevie Nicks to Playboi Carti (2017’s Lust for Life), reworking a Sublime cover into a contemporary Billboard Hot 100 hit (2019’s “Doin’ Time”), for instance — while achieving both critical acclaim and commercial success. She has earned six Grammy nominations and holds the record for most No. 1s on Billboard’s Alternative Albums chart. And somehow, each week, it seems a new song from her vast catalog gains traction on TikTok. (“West Coast” and “How To Disappear” are two recent breakouts.) Younger artists often cite her as an inspiration — including Billie Eilish, whom Del Rey now calls “my girl. It makes me feel comforted that music is going in such a good direction.”

I think it might look like that! It’s funny because I keep telling people, “I haven’t worked in three years,” but really I just haven’t done shows in three years. As soon as I start getting ready for a show, that’s when it feels like work.

How has your process changed since Born To Die came out?

Eleven years ago I wanted it to be so good. Now, I just sing exactly what I’m thinking. I’m thinking a little less big and bombastic. Maybe at some point I can have fun creating a world again, but right now, I would say there’s no world building. This music is about thought processing. It’s very, very wordy. I’m definitely living from the neck up.

[royal-writer]

Come What May

I will love you, until my dying day

- - - - 

She had a way with making him quiver with affection, whether wide awake or asleep. It was just an ordinary moment; a simple day, with the midday sun shining against bloated fluffy clouds, but no moment felt commonplace when she was involved. Everything felt extraordinary, even when all she was doing was willingly fallen into his lap to doze.

Just resting her eyes, she’d said before sleep overtook her. He’d thought to scoff, but resisted. At one point or another, he’d tossed aside the balancing book and choose to live in the moment. She’d stirred just enough as he’d repositioned her where she rested now, peacefully lulled just above his ribs where she could hear the drumming of his heart. She was blessedly soft and peaceful; the tiniest wisps of breath, how he’d had to wipe a bit of drool from the corner of her mouth and shift her so her chin wasn’t bearing all the weight of her head into his torso.

He adored the way the light played on her bronze skin; the way it made her soft hair muted in color. How beautiful she was, with her lashes low and body molded into the shape of his own. Even her breathing; shallow and relaxed, mimicked the rise and fall of his own as he traced with his eyes the shape of her face; counted each tangled curl over her nose and eyes, studied her every inch of her complexion knowing it by hand.

Her heartbeat steadily pulsed in time with his own. The slightest flex in her muscles and her nose crinkled into a sleepy grimace briefly before settling back against him.

Feeling a sudden urge, he reached over to grab at the notebook laying nearby, as well as the graphite. A babbled murmur escaped her, and he froze as her eyelids rose and immediately fell again. Gravity seemed to be stronger than her will to awaken. She sighed sleepily, nestling her face into his chest and open arms as he held her briefly. She fell into her nap once more.

Amon tilted his hips, leaned, and snatched upon the pad and pencil. This time, she barely had time to groan and lift her shoulders at the slight movement. He grunted a grateful note to himself.

As she wiggled back into a comfortable position, he flipped into a fresh page near the back, and began.

First, with the gesture. A fine curving arched line, and he felt satisfied with the position of her body in the frame. He looked her over, watching as she took a deep and dreamy breath, and sketched a few light lines to indicate shapes.

The next lines he scored deeper into the paper; following the shape of her head, to where he could see her hip, and down her lustrous legs. Bunching up his nose, Amon grumbled quietly to himself as he began to draw lighter lines. Displaying her elegance, her femininity, and the softness of her soul in all its grandeur, he began to hesitantly sketch each bend and curve that oulined her figure. The unity of their breathing fell into each other as he tried to replicate her profile in short, gentle strokes of the utensil.

As he lifted his eyes from the drawing to his figure, he was met with an unapologetic half-mast set of golden eyes lingering right back on him.

He offered her a sheepish, slightly guilty smile.

“Wha’re doin’?” she inquired with drowsy accusation, pawing lightly at the notebook in his hand.

“Drawing,” he admitted shyly.

“Le’me see.”

“It’s not finished.”

“Le’me see,” she slurred, suppressing a yawn as she pawed at his chest, his hands. Her lip pouted out. It was a trick she used to be ‘irresistible’, not that he had the heart to tell her in all their years together that she needn’t bother. Just as with all her tricks and quirks he was so delighted in, he enjoyed seeing her make the effort.

It simply wasn’t necessary, because he was always ready to fetch a hook to catch the stars in the sky to please her. No request was out of bounds for his darling Essätha. Lucky for him, his ever-patient lover never bombarded him with more than the need for him to hold her, and the cutest painted art that was her batting her eyes and asking for a kiss.

Chuckling at her followed whine, Amon turned the paper around for her to see the progress on the silhouette he’d been working on.

“Flowers are easier,” he concluded. “Each petal has its own story, but they are essentially similar: differences in shape, roundness and curve; corners and rips and tears and crinkles, a steam, and some greenery.”

Her eyes examined his work for a moment of silence. His heart swelled at her expression; open, thoughtful, and easy. It was even better when she looked back at him. The sun breaking dawn; all light and overflowing joy as the world turned to pale shadows around her beautiful splendor and joy.

“I think it’s nice,” she murmured sweetly, releasing the edge of the leather binding. Her hand captured upon his, drawing it back to brush her lips against in an intimate kiss.

It certainly wasn’t his best work. Barely the start of an outline. Her shape, the fanning of her lashes, her mouth, the directional waves of her hair, and not much else. He had documented flora of the region with painstaking detail, many many years ago, and taken notes on their growth cycles. That had been a damn near documentary masterpiece.

This was nothing. Even a masterful artist could never compare to staring at her; touching her, the realness of her warmth and the happiness that shone in her eyes as she sank back down to rest her cheek against him. The love and innocence in her gaze captured him.

He placed the pad and graphite on the floor, never taking his eyes off hers. Her fingers danced over him; tracing his chest, finding the dip in his shirt to tease the short strands there. Upwards still, whispering against the angle of his throat, the sharp lines of his draw, moving to smother the tips of her fingers over his nose, his cheeks, his mouth.

The nobleman’s body felt weightless as a giddy spur jolted from his heart and made his head buzz with euphoria. He took hold of her wrists before her hands could retreat, and pressed a kiss to each fingertip and palm slowly, catching the blush entering her cheeks and the unexpected shy smile grace her lips as her eyelashes fluttered. Her most private loving smile, only for his eyes.

“You make me look beautiful,” her voice teased, taking hold of his face in her hands as he released her wrists. Her fingers stroked his cheeks, and along the fuzz of his sideburns and beard.

He snorted back a dry laugh. “You are always beautiful.”

“I look better with you.”

“Heavens woman,” he playfully growled, pulling her closer as she giggled. “You look resplendent regardless; but you wear your bliss the most lovely of all.”

She had all the gull and nerve to wrinkle her nose at him, and stuck out her tongue.

“Essätha.”

She didn’t take the warning tone very seriously, batting her lashes innocently. “What?”

Forcing himself to sit up suddenly with a grunt; his spine aching and back popping from the surge, Amon cupped her chin in his palm, and brushed the lingering shape of his mouth against hers. When she moved to follow him; hoping to gain her fill as she exhaled hopefully, he pulled away gradually a bit more, every time.

“M’lord-” she whimpered, her hands tightening against his cheeks to steady him.

He thinned his mouth into a frown, furrowing his brow as she tried to kiss him.

“Amon-”

“Say you are beautiful, my darling Essie,” he taunted her with comforting fondness. “Acknowledge your gifts. You are more ravishing than any portrait or doodle; than any sculpture could dare to hope to capture.”

His fingers caught a ringlet of spiraling hair hanging over her face, and he twirled it idly away, staring into two suns. They did not blind him. They hypnotized him. He could not look away. He could not bare the idea of doing so. He loved how her eyes burned him to cinders; renewed from the ashes each and every time.

“You are the pinnacle aspiration that all master’s crave and inspire to achieve in their work. You are the jeweled showpiece they all hope to make. You are sublime my love, and I am in awe of all that you are.”

“Kiss me,” she begged desperately, tantalizing him with her wicked lips and heated wanton gasp.

“Say it.”

Her eyes narrowed. His grin was smug and patient. He could wait as long as he needed to.

“I am beautiful,” she relented in an impatient rush, running her hands down to grab his shirt. “And I am yours. Now will you kiss me?”

Amon hummed with approval. “I love the addition,” he barely whispered, his mouth moving against hers as he spoke.

She trembled all over. “I thought you might…”

He kissed her lightly as she smiled and giggled. The very essence of the sun lay on her as he drank in her breathless laughter. Sweet ambrosia nectar and countless dreams awakened inside him; a thousand stars and fireflies, a million candles and yet none, not a single thing, could compare to the light of her burning bright and constant in his life.

Once he’d attempted to kiss her a few times (she never could break that smile, and it was so infectious it found his own), Essie dropped her face with a pleased sigh to nestle and wriggle against his chest. She found her spot once more, further down near his heart to bury herself. Her breathing was hot against his clothes; snuffling, soaking in his cologne.

He combed his fingers through her loose hair a few times as she huddled her legs closer around his hips. While she lay there, comfortable and quiet, Amon leaned back over to pick up the booklet and pencil. He began a new shapely form of her; bushy hair clumsily hiding her face and her fingers curled around his shirt. It struck a hard note against his heartstrings.

He stopped for a moment to reach down; the tablet and utensil under his chin, to relax her grip with a gentle stroke of his fingers massaging along the tendons of her hand. When her body was limp once more; completely boneless against his chest, the Illiad heir picked back up and returned to his sketching. A lengthy twist of hair fell right there, and the scales upon her nose crested right there.

As he looked up, her head tilted to the side, giving him a gorgeous view of her luminescent eyes holding his gaze with romantic adoration.

“Did you ever think that life could be so happy and perfect?”

He held a smile that matched how captivating her own was.

“No,” he admitted. “But I’m glad I have you to show me that it can be.”

She dragged out a heavenly little sigh of understanding, and rubbed her cheek against his torso; her hands gliding in rhythmic circles now against his chest. He smiled a bit wider, and reached for a hand to give it an affection squeeze of understanding.

Returning his attention to the art piece, Amon focusedon the detail of her eyes; trying to capture them just right. It seemed that no matter how he smudged the stains of graphite however, it wasn’t didn’t quite fit. No amount of shadows and white space left to show the dramatic lighting could follow the planes of her cheeks just right, or the slight sultry droop in her eyelids, or the way the corner of her lip continued to pull higher and higher the longer she stared up at him.

Criticizing the atrocity of his work, he tried to fix the carefully placed row of lines for her lashes to better frame and enhance her eyes.

Softly, his lady love cleared her throat as he continued to draw. He paid the sound no mind, trying to fix the slant of her mouth to display her whimsical tease in it.

“Never knew, I could feel like this,” she breathed; her voice flowing in rises and falls of a sing-song pitch. “Like I’ve never seen the sky before.”

His eyes peered up from the paper that was his canvas, to the masterpiece of the beautiful woman he called his own as her fingers reached up to comb the hair back.

“Want to vanish inside your kiss,” Essie crooned faintly. “Every day I love you more, and more.”

The very oxygen that filled his lungs failed him. He stared. Stricken. Drawn to her siren call; but it was much more than just her song pulling him in.

“Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing?” As she serenaded him, one hand cradled the side of his face, and the other took upon his slack-hand. He dropped the writing tool on himself as she twined her digits around his, where he could, in fact, feel the throb of her pulse.

“Telling me to give you everything. Seasons may change: winter to spring.”

She sucked in a shaky breath, whispering softly against the back of his hand as she kissed his fingers, “But I love you, until the end of time. Come what may, come what may-”

“I will love you,” he harmonized with her; their voices syncing in a soft chant as they sang together, “until my dying day.”

No words were ever truer. He was spellbound. The words, the meaning, the truth; how she serenaded him with a glow of love. She had the most beautiful, heartfelt eyes of gold and he was the wealthiest man, drowning in perfect affection so untarnished and pure and genuine that every cell in his body that died was reincarnated by the minute with even more love for her. She was so strong, so brave, so tender and sweet and he could feel her words ache in his very bones with need.

“Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place,” he thickly rumbled in the depths of his chest.

Essätha stretched out across him, closer now. He could feel the warmth of her breath against his throat as she responded with the next line freely: “Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace.”

“Suddenly my life doesn’t seem such a waste; it all revolves around you,” they hummed together. “And there’s no mountain too high; no river too wide. Sing out this song and I’ll be there by your side.”

“Storm clouds may gather,” she lilted.

“And stars may collide,” the nobleman acknowledged quietly.

“But I love you.”

“I love you.”

His words; her words, slurred against each other as he leaned into her and she into him, “Until the end of time.”

Unable to resist another second, Amon dragged her the rest of the way and she collapsed into him with a muffled sound of approval. Soft, pillowing lips and her fingers lost in his locks, gripping them to the roots as he crushed her, perhaps tighter than necessary. He didn’t want her to take flight on those angelic ivory wings, and leave him spiraling with his want.

When he broke for air; gasping, her devious little smirk and panting breath pressed further kisses slowly along the corners of his lips. He cuddled her closer. He needed her. He had to have every inch of her so violently suddenly close. The aroma of honeysuckle perfume, the angles of her waist, the arch and bend of her. He had to feel her; touch her, hold her. He had to love her; she had to know how much he loved her.

Her raspy exhale came out startled as he nuzzled his face against her throat. A tremble raced down his spine. Her heartbeat was running wild. He kissed her collarbone lightly; tasting rays of the cosmos stars.

A snorted squeal of laughter peeled out of her as his beard rubbed up against her upper chest, and she squirmed around him.

“Amon!”

He ignored her playful protests, and inhaled her fragrance.

“My darling Essätha,” he cooed, brushing his lips along the side of her neck to her jaw. “My beautiful, selfless, amazing Essätha.”

Tittering lightly, she threaded her fingers through his hair one final time before squirming between them to land on his chest. She pushed him back down into the sofa, and like an addict he reached for her once more. The waves of the ocean surged and crashed just below her in his gaze as he lay pinned; more by the sternness of her stiff wrists than by her strength.

Her mouth twitched, trying to resist a smile as she breathed heavily still.

“The day’s young, and the sun is out,” she reasoned. “Why don’t we go out for a while, and enjoy it? A horseback ride along the wooded trails sounds nice, don’t you think?”

Amon took a few deep breathes to calm his breathing, and sank fully down into the couch. His grin was filled with playful mirth as he replied; “Will you be riding in front of, or behind me?”

She blinked rapidly, and proceeded to snort. “I’ll be riding Aero, of course. You have Maestro.”

“Ah. Certainly,” he mumbled with a bit of dejection. “It would be better for the horses.”

“You can always ride close,” she offered, sitting up on his chest so her fingers splayed out against his chest, and her long free strands of hair no longer tickled him like curtains along his face, chin, and neck. “I would be happy to hold your hand while guiding the reigns.”

As she threw a leg over to climb off of straddling him, he grunted and began to sit up. “Any place in particular, my love?”

Her eyebrow arched as she glanced back upon him. “Anywhere your heart desires,” she teased with mischief, patting his chest. “My destination will be the same as it is at the end of any journey we partake.”

He watched with an unquenchable hunger as she stepped aside for him to freely sit up. He yearned already for that wonderful climax of her folded back in his arms. But he could wait. The moment was always worth the wait.

Slinging his own leg over, he grunted as he sat up to wipe a hand over his face. The pencil hit the floor, and he clutched at the notepad crookedly shoved at his side to throw it on the coffee table as he got up. Snatching upon the graphite, he added it as well, pleasantly surprised by the hand that took his as he righted his position.

“Come along, m’lord,” Essie gushed with delight. “Adventure awaits!”

“So it does,” he agreed fondly, locked in her gaze. He squeezed her hand with reassurance, feeling his heart lifting off into the stratosphere.

The greatest adventure, the greatest prize of it all: a lifetime spent with her, his darling Essätha.

[livehorsesartpage]

Gaining trust by DeviantLivehorses

Although Mérante was apparently sitting comfortably in a chair, that didn't mean that he was relaxed. He was in a dynamic job only his family can notice. Odette knew how stressful he could get and how susceptible he could become. She even knew that she going around was grateful for him. Entering the room was a relief and Mérante usually wished Odette to stay and make the moment more relaxed. But the one he never wanted around was his adopted noisy daughter. He could spend nights doing this job... He leafed over and over the papers and notes. He watched and analyzed partitures that his fellow composer sended to him the last day. He wrote, sketched, erased, sometimes with energic angry. Sometimes he got up from his desk, partiture in hand, and walking through the room, he went to sat at the piano and rehearsed a tune the times was necessary until he felt satisfyed enough to return to his notes. Sometimes he rehearsed some steps or danced along the space to clarify his subjective thought he wanted to insert in his coreographies... Sometimes in the low level of the house it can be heard a single little scream of frustration. Sometimes some sketches made a crumpled ball ended rolling on the floor, or in the fireplace as fuel. Sometimes the coffee wasn't enough, sometimes the hands ended placed in his head. Sometimes he got up from the place and started walking around the room while grumbling. That very day his mind was really busy, but at least he wasn't so frustrated as the other night. "What ya doin'?" asked in a vulgar french tone a squeaky voice next to Mérante's ear. Mérante released a scream in a high pitch tone unusual in his voice. When he turned around, he found himself face to face with Félicie, arms recharged in the back of the chair. Mérante sighed between relief and frustration. It was only her; yes... ONLY Félicie, the last one he wanted to be there that moment. "It's-obvious". he answered in a stern tone. "I know." said his daughter. "But I wanna see. I like your coreographies. What is this time about?" Mérante sighed more relaxed. After all at that hour it was bed time and that probably meant a bed-story time. He felt somehow a little less stressed and more warmed by the girl's prescence. After a moment of silence, he took the child and made her sit in his lap. He started showing her his sketches, his ideas, telling her the story in which he was working. Félicie, as a curious cat watched and made questions as usual. At some point that didn't annoyed his father but made him glad to been asked of his main favorite subject. He took advance of the situation to presume about his knowedge, feeling extremely proud everytime Félicie gasped or said "wow" to all of his explanations. "Can I dance this?". asked her. "I'm afraid not. This is not like the things you have danced. It's for formed dancers only." "You should do more child dancers' ballets." Mérante laughed gently and placed a kiss in the girl's forehead. "Maybe some day my little strawberry. Now if you excuse me, I have to go to the piano, I have to think this musical phrase". And after saying this, he took Félicie softly and placed her in the floor. "But can I stay?" asked her in a plea. "If you remain silent while I play, yes." Then Mérante rose up and walked to the piano, followed by Félicie's wide open eyes. He sat and started playing a tone. But in the middle of his performance, he got a feeling in his back and heard behind him an energic sequence of wild steps. He stopped suddenly and turn around fast to find Félicie stopping dancing, interlacing her fingers and her face blushing. "What were you doing?" asked Mérante suprised. Félicie lowered her head in shame. "I couldn't resist it, the melody was catchy." "But WHAT were you doing?" "Dancing?" she rose her brilliant green eyes to meet them with the hazel eyes of his father. Mérante passed his legs to the front of his seat to face completely his daughter and placed his elbows in his knees, interlacing his fingers as well. "I want to see you." Félicie stepped back, her face getting more blushed. "I-I can't". "You don't have any shame everytime you dance. I can remember that time in the bar in front of a lot of strangers. Why can be different with your own father?" "'Cause..." the words were stuck in her throat and were refusing to go out. "You're the master." "Forget that, I'm your father now." "You will not get angry if I do it wrong?" "No, I promise. No scolding this time, we aren't at class. Besides... your dance is always on fire." Félicie draw a huge smile in her face, showing how her heart was getting wild of exitement inside of her. Mérante smiled, and turning completely, placing his fingers on the keys, he prepared himself to play. "I will play the piano, and I need you to be at my left so I can see you meanwhile." Félicie did as she was told, walking and placing at the left of the piano. "Just..." said Mérante suddenly. "Be careful to not break anything in the middle of your dancing, stay away from the decoration." he was now watching at an expensive porcelain flower vase and a greek sculpture. "Okay." said Félicie laughing. Mérante started playing the melody, and for a moment Félicie stayed still in her place. Even if Mérante noticed it, he continued, waiting patiently for her daughter to take inspiration and confidence. And it did happen; Suddenly, Félicie found herself cought in the middle of the music, and letting her body flow like the water of a creek, she moved around the left space, following what the music dictated to her heart and therefore to her feet. While playing the piano, Mérante rose up sometimes his sight from the keys to look at her daughter. Captivated by her performance, he got some glances of forgotten moments of his youth, when he whitnessed behind a door, some fair young dancer going around a classroom like a swan in light flight. Of course, Félicie had a wilder and less elegant performance, but not by that less passionate. The muses of inspiration went around both and Mérante's brain started to create great coreographies based on the incongruent ravings of the little dancer. He wanted to stop suddenly to return in a crazy race to his desk before this ideas dissapeared, but he didn't want, as he watched Félicie to be in a heavy ectasy, to made her fall violently from the clouds. But for the disgrace of both, the piece of music ended, and both found themselves forced to fall slowly from the Dancing Heaven and to place their feet in the ground again. Both look at each other for a while, having the same feeling of inspiration. Speaking after the sublime voice of music was heard in the air was almost impossible. "Well... I guess that this is all for the moment". said Mérante in a sigh, eyes shining like Félicie never saw before. He returned to his desk and started to place his newborn ideas in the papers. For some time he remained silent, and he felt how her daughter approached to him. "Dad?". her voice sounded cracked. Mérante rose up his sight and found Félicie with a worried face. "You will always be my dad? I'm your daughter right?" Mérante stared at her starting to feel concerned. "I mean... Do you love me?" "But of course I love you!" exclaimed Mérante while raising from his chair and going to hug her daughter. "Why I wouldn't love you?" "I don't know..." answered Félicie while starting to weep in his father's shoulder. "Maybe I'm a dissapointment". "You're not my dear. You can't imagine how much I love you". at some point his voice also cracked, and some tears appeared in his eyes. "You have made my life and Odette's such a great joy, you united us. And we are a family." Suddenly both felt how a couple of arms surrounded them and embraced them in a warm hug. When they rose their sight, they found like in a vision, the face of Odette, her beautiful eyes glowing behind brilliant tears of conmocion and joy. It seemed that both of them never realized how she was watching at the door of the room, to Mérante playing at the piano and Félicie dancing. They were so into the moment when they hug each other, that they never realized the sound of the cane approaching to them. The family joined like one in a single hug.

So, this is a B/L! little fanfiction of my favorite family, the Mérante family. This came out to my mind around yesterday and here I am doing it. Of course, even if I will not be a writer, I must say that I see this as my writing masterpiece. I never was able to describe a scene with so much inspiration and detail, I'm really moved and delighted. Also, it was so satisfying that I found exactly every word I wanted to use and to express my ideas so clearly. That keeps the main idea intact in the writing. I'm so proud that I wrote about one of my favorite subjects, Mérante & Félicie's storge love. Also, I've recently had issues with my own dad, that he loves me and have given me everything... Sometimes I forget how much he does for me. He is in some points simillar to Mérante's character and sometimes is hard to be with him, but from him I learned and share same tastes a lot. I'm just kind of feel broke because he usually keeps his distance, because he doesn't want to hurt us. But I'm very lucky to have such a loving, kind and gentle father. I almost cry while writing this...

Made at March 29 of 2019.

Remember I promised a fanart for my fanfic of the same name? Here it is! I take advantage of that Holy Week Vacations has just started. I really like the results. And I really, really love all Mérante family stuff. That's why I am here.  I'm very suprised that my airbrushing is working out so well. I have improved... But, this is a mess of many hands one can't easily know of who belongs each one. But, more or less that's the idea.  And now I'm happy, but also my index finger hurts. DX Made with DeviantArt muro at April 11 of 2019.

[halfcrackedguru]

A Message From the Universe ~ Unbury Your Potential

A Message From the Universe ~ Unbury Your Potential, Earth Dragon, Druid Animal Oracle Card Today’s Message from the Universe reminds you that you have an abundance of untapped potential. While we must play the hand we are dealt, some of our most valuable cards are buried in the deck, still waiting to be drawn. We must first work through and discard some of the cards that keep us from drawing something better. When and where you were born, who your parents were, people you’ve known, all the terrible and wonderful things you’ve experienced - all these things helped to shape who you are but they don’t have to determine the ever-changing “you” that you are becoming. In fact, our environment and experience usually serve to bury some of our better talents, gifts, and potential. Chances are that you have been, throughout your life, interested in things you dare not try for fear of failure or judgment from others. Those others don’t have to walk in your shoes and are likely acting or judging based on their own fears and insecurities. You may have even wished you could do something but thought that you just aren’t any good at it. Of course you’re not good at it, people aren’t usually born knowing how to do the things they love, they try, practice, and try again, over and over while getting better with each turn. Give yourself the opportunity to try and fail all the things you’ve been curious about. We all spend a good portion of our lives trying to fit in and do the things we’re” supposed” to do, it is now time to allow yourself to do the things you know aren’t going to be popular with the people in your life and even (especially) your society. As you allow yourself to be more “you”, others who feel the same will be inspired to be their authentic selves. This is how you call your tribe to you and possibly even change the world. TODAY'S CRYSTALS: - Rose Quartz - Amazonite - Jade - Gray Banded Agate TODAY'S DECK: - Druid Animal Oracle CHECK OUT THIS DECK: - Chakra Insight Oracle TODAY'S MUSIC: - Sublime, Doin' Time - Tool, Sober - Candlebox, You Thank you! Your tips and donations help to pay for the website and other costs that help me to bring these messages to you :) Read the full article

[llycaons]

inspired by this tag, I put on music when going for a grocery run just now and I have a NEW list of songs for you @scorpioyukina

No Scrubs - TLC. heard this a lot at my old job and I just like the rhythm a lot

Hungarian Dance No. 5 - Johannes Brahms. a really beautiful and lively song. I don't remember who suggested it to me, but I was pleasantly surprised when it came up on my shuffle

Vive Le Swing by In-Grid. this is a really fun swing-style song! I like being able to tell what they're saying even though it's in french

Doin' Time - Sublime. an inferior and far less sexy version of the lana del rey cover in all honesty. also it's creepier when it's sung by men

Before He Cheats - Carrie Underwood. this is such a fun song! and carrie underwood's voice is hot I'll say it. heard this a lot in high school during art class but did not come to hate it

and I'll going to tag @slitherbite @zhuhongs @ankhisms @neixins @lesbianstorm @ghostcradle and @chthonicillness. thanks, mouse!

tagged by @scorpioyukina to list 5 songs I've recently listened to! thanks, mouse! *opens up spotify*

blood (hidden track) by mcr

old town road by lil nas x

folk song praising pre-christian god of agriculture, Harale, as sung by three georgian girls (trio mandilli) here

ummm the music in my massage therapist's office. could not tell you the name but it was very soothing

the laughter of children as I walked through the mall yesterday :) they liked running up and down the ramps. love and light

consider yourself tagged if you see this!

[rockinthebeastmode]

Doin’ Time

A/N: Hey! I finished a WIP! I’m not sure how I feel about it quite yet but I hope anyone someone enjoys it. Special thanks to @arathewallflower for reading first and assuring me it didn’t suck. You da real MVP 👌🏽😘 

Fair warning, there is pot smoking within, if it’s not your thing, I apologize. Should be easy enough to skip through. S1-esque AU. (Loosely) Inspired by Doin’ Time by Sublime. All music mentioned is youtube-linked.

You can find my other fics here.

@mmfdfanfic @eveerez @i-dream-of-emus @lilaviolet @lau-vm @hey1tskat1e @tinakegg @kneekeyta @likeashootingstarfades @girl-looking-out-window @stinemarine @lurkernolonger @crystalgiddings1993 @milllott @ssecondaryy @buddyhollyscurls

Doin’ Time

Finn Nelson was a bit of a grumpy sod.

He could admit that. He knew he could barely tolerate anyone other than his mates and family. Since football and boxing started bulking him up and he got his fringe just right, he had birds drawn to him in droves. That could be nice, except he found himself practically non-verbal with girls and that only got him so far. He remembered shotgunning a spliff to Julia Fisher and having to endure trying to talk music for all of five minutes before giving up. And who could forget his brief stint with Stacey Stringfellow? Thankfully, she wasn’t much of a thinker, much less a talker. He reckoned he would’ve stuck that one out longer had she not played Backstreet Boys every bloody time they’d make out at hers.

Honestly, he couldn’t give a rat’s arse about dating at the moment. It was the summer before his second year at Stamford City College and he just wanted to chill with his mates before his dad was back on his arse about grades and preparing for university. He’d been looking forward to a summer spent with his boys Chop and Archie, drinking pints at the Swan, seeing shows at the Basement and of course, smoking as much pot as his allowance could buy but Chop kept inviting Izzy and her mates around. He could just about handle Izzy’s exuberance sober but Chloe’s fawning over him and Archie was getting old.

Then there was Rae. Quite possibly the only girl he’d come in contact with since puberty that didn’t fall over herself over him--not that he wanted her to, mind. She annoyed the fuck out of him. 

She was loud and obnoxious and thought she was hot shit just because she could match Chop for jokes and banter with Arch, all while gossiping with the girls. He could’ve ignored her well enough if she didn’t call him out every time he was the least bit quiet or broody. And don’t even get him started on her so-called music prowess. Sure, she liked some of the same music as him but if she couldn’t appreciate one of the greats like Marley, she definitely didn’t ‘know her music’.

Either way, he planned on staying as far away from her as possible. All he needed was his mates. No girls allowed.

***

“Finny! A birdie tells me you’ve got an empty tonight,” Chop’s voice rang loudly into the phone and Finn held the receiver away from his ear, rolling his eyes with a grimace. Fucking Archie and his big mouth.

“No parties! Chopper, dad’ll murder me if we trash the place,” he quickly replied, Chop scoffing on the other end.

“Aww, c’mon, mate, it’ll be a laugh. Nothing too crazy, we’ll keep it nice and exclusive,” Chop tried to reassure him but Finn knew his game. They’d only known each other their entire lives.

“Bollocks, remember what happened last time you kept things ‘exclusive’? Kendo had half of Stamford’s drug scene in my bloody living room.”

Silence fell on the line and Finn smirked in triumph. He went to get off the phone when Chop spoke again.

“We’ll make it a mates’ night, a’right? Pizza, booze, games. Just the gang.” Finn hesitated with his response and Chop sighed, “I just picked up some spliff, I’ll smoke you out.”

Finn glanced at his dwindling stash next to his bed and groaned low.

“Fuck. Fine. What time?”

***

Around 8 that night, a knock sounded on Finn’s front door. He opened it wide to reveal Archie with a stack of pizzas in hand, Chop with a gap-toothed apologetic grin… and the girls standing behind them with a bag of snacks and bottles each. He ushered them inside with a barely forced smile, grabbing Chop by the shoulder before he could pass. The others made their way into the living room, greeting Finn cheerily and chatting amongst themselves. When they disappeared from view, Finn punched Chop in the bicep as hard as he could muster.

“Ow! Jesus Christ, Nelson!”

“Sod off, you said the gang only!”

“Soz, mate, Izzy just--” Finn cut him off, rolling his eyes.

“Of bloody course, enough said. Anything to get your lil’ Chopstick wet, yeah?” Finn groused, crossing his arms. He dodged a swipe to the head, grabbing Chop in a headlock. They tussled fruitlessly around the foyer, knocking into the walls and narrowly avoiding tumbling into the staircase. They stopped and looked up when a throat cleared from the doorway.

“Do I need to separate you two?” Archie asked, raising a brow. Finn released Chop and shoved him away, giving him a final glare.

“You’re lucky I don’t curl you up,” he grumbled. Chop pulled out a large bag, filled with numerous buds of varying greens, with accents of purple throughout.

“Smoke and make it better?” Chop replied smugly, puckering his lips with a wink. Finn smiled begrudgingly, Chop and Archie exchanging cheeky grins.

“Let’s hope so, knobhead.”

***

Izzy and Chloe looked at the bong apprehensively as Chop took the first hit too hard and coughed violently, Archie clapping him on the back. Finn shook his head with a snort, noticing Rae smirking across the circle.

“Ooh, can you roll us a spliff, Finn?” Chloe simpered, reaching out a hand to his forearm. He shifted away, ducking his head in a nod before sitting up straighter and reaching for his rolling tray on the table. He opened the stash jar, sprinkling a small pile on a paper and carefully tilting the paper to roll a small cone. As he licked the paper to seal it, he looked up and met Rae’s eyes. There was a certain glint in her eyes as she glanced him over before quickly looking away and reaching out to Archie.

“Hand it over, Arch,” she said breathily, her cheeks pinking a bit. Finn couldn’t help scoffing slightly as he tapped the weed down and twisted the end of the joint. Rae looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

“There’s no filter on that one, girl,” he warned, before lighting the cone and handing it to Chloe across the circle. Rae sneered, taking the bong from Archie with a short mocking laugh.

“I’ll be fine, Finley.”

He resisted rolling his eyes, waving a hand with a derisive, “Go for it.”

Everyone’s eyes were glued to Rae as she held the bong to her lips, flicking the lighter into the bowl and sucking on the stem, the clear piece becoming white with thick smoke. She tossed the lighter at him with narrowed eyes, the bowl burning bright. The orange glow faded and the gang watched open mouthed as she effortlessly raised the bowl, inhaled the smoke within and placed the bong on the table calmly, her cheeks puffed out. She locked eyes with Finn before she exhaled a massive cloud, the room filling quickly with smoke.

“Jesus, Raemundo,” Chop wheezed, his eyes wide. Izzy and Chloe exchanged incredulous glances, Archie grinning wide.

Finn cleared his throat, looking to the side with a frown. There she went, sticking him right back in his place. She pushed the piece across the table with a grin.

“Your turn, Nelson.”

***

The girls ate their slices and watched agape as Finn and Archie scarfed down half a pizza each, with Chop clearing a full one shortly after. He patted his abdomen contently, unleashing a tremendous belch. Chloe and Rae wrinkled their noses, Izzy’s hand reaching out and swatting at Chop.

“Disgusting boy,” she admonished, Chloe frowning and placing her half-eaten slice on an empty box.

“Yeah, save some for the rest of us!” Rae chimed in with a laugh.

“I paid for it, you lot had better show some appreciation and pay up,” he jeered, pulling a jester hat from God-knows-where and holding it out expectantly. A grumble went around the room as everyone checked their pockets and each threw in small bills and change. Rae flicked in several 20p and Finn swiped one from the pile.

“Don’t you owe me one of these for last week?” he asked, flipping it in his hand a few times. Rae laughed snidely, tilting her head.

“S’pose so. But really, Finn, what good is 20p for the jukebox if you have shit taste in music?” she taunted, Chop and Archie letting out a long “ooooooh” in unison, Chloe and Izzy giggling. Finn scowled, biting his cheek. He didn’t bother responding, instead pulling the rolling tray towards him.

“Is there nothing but reggae on this playlist? It’s doing my head in,” Rae grumbled, glaring over at the stereo. Finn’s eyes narrowed.

“What’s wrong with reggae?” he argued, barely pausing in his rolling. He didn’t look at her but noticed her scoff in his periphery.

“It’s all the same, innit? Repetitive drum beat with a mediocre bassline,” Rae mocked, rolling her eyes. Finn licked the spliff closed and lit it, taking a long drag.

“I didn’t hear you bitching earlier when you were bopping around to Spiderwebs,” he retorted, stifling a smirk at her reddening cheeks. She sniffed, shrugging a bit.

“Ya can’t not dance to Gwen Stefani. No Doubt’s the exception,” she waved a hand dismissively. Finn shook his head, handing her the spliff.

“Right, whatever.”

The music faded out and Spaceman started. Rae glared at him incredulously.

“Oh, for fucks sake, Finn.”

Finn stopped the music with the remote and nodded at the stereo.

“You think you’ve got something better?”

Rae raised a brow at him and gracefully stood, going over to the system. Finn shook his head at her back, exchanging a shrug with Archie.

“Are we just gonna sit here and shoot the shit all night or what?” Archie asked, tapping his fingers restlessly. Finn couldn’t blame him. If it was just the boys, they would’ve started something up by now. The fuck were they supposed to do with a bunch of girls?

“Spin the Bottle?” Chop grinned, shooting a wink at Izzy.

“If you want to snog your girlfriend, no one’s stopping you,” Chloe grumbled, crossing her arms.

“What about a game?” Rae piped up from the stereo, pointing at the consoles and cases lined up on a table under the television. With that, Archie sat up from his bored slump. She went back to looking through Finn’s library of music as the others agreed and went about picking out a game. Finn kept a curious eye on her as she scrolled, watching her face change with each new artist. He saw her go back and forth between a couple options before clicking a song quickly and standing, turning back to the gang. The opening notes of her choice played and a fluttering started in his gut when she levelled a mischievous smile at him.

I can’t stand it! I know you planned it

“Nice one, Rae,” Archie praised, shooting Finn an amused grin. His lips quirked in return, trying desperately not to meet Rae’s gaze.

“Ta muchly, Archibald,” she chirped, her wide grin becoming impish, “S’not bad for mainstream.”

Finn felt his face burning at her nonchalant retort, but he repressed his embarrassment, turning the TV on and lowering the stereo volume slightly.

“What’re we playing, then?”

***

Finn didn’t have many choices for multiplayer games but they took turns playing rounds in some button-mashing fighting game before settling down with Guitar Hero. Finn and Archie alternated guitar and bass, Chloe taking vocals with Chop dominating the drums before attempting to show Izzy how to play. Rae just watched, laughing with them over Izzy flailing the sticks around trying to hit the colors in time and Chloe fumbling the lyrics. When they’d decided to do one more song, Chloe handed the mic to Rae.

“Here, babe, you give it a go,” she said, waving off Rae’s protesting as she went for the loo. Rae held the mic tightly as Archie scrolled through the song list.

“Any requests?” he asked Rae, smiling gently as if to reassure her. She bit her lip and perused the list, her eyes alighting on something quickly.

“Love Spreads,” she said decidedly, loosening her grip on the mic a bit. Finn barely repressed a grin at her choice. Not only was it one of his favorite songs, but his best to play. He couldn’t help wanting to impress her, especially since she’d one-upped him all night.

He kept quiet as the loading screen appeared and Chop took his place back at the drum kit, shaking a finger at Izzy. Chloe returned and the song title flashed with the runway popping up. Finn tapped his fingers along the buttons quickly before the song began.

He revelled in Rae’s widened eyes in his periphery as he nailed every note of the intro, trying desperately to keep his face straight. He broke when she uttered a low, “Jesus, Finn,” before starting to sing along.

***

Rae hadn’t taken her eyes off him since they’d shut down the game and he’d brought out the rolling tray again. The others had gone into the kitchen to make more snacks and pick out bottles for a drinking game.

“Can you stop staring at me?” he glanced up at her with a frown, “Freaks me out.”

She shook her head as if to clear it and sent him an eye roll, her lips quirking a bit.

“I was only supervising. That joint you rolled earlier was a bit limp,” she teased. To his surprise, he felt a grin tugging at his lips and he looked up through his fringe to see her smirking cheekily.

“You can just smoke outta that lung killer if you’ve got a problem with my spliffs,” he returned, nodding at the bong she’d hit perfectly earlier. She half-shrugged, her eyes bright.

“Now, Nelson, I wouldn’t wanna step on your toes. I know you like to think you’ve got superior stoner knowledge.”

“Finally something we can agree on,” he countered, giving her a crooked grin as she laughed. Chop bounded back into the room, bottle of vodka in hand, the others trailing after him with snacks and mixers.

“Right, you lot. The game is simple. Sip your drink every time they sing Roxanne,” Chop said, pouring generous amounts into six cups.

“I thought you do shots, not sips?” Rae asked, her brow furrowing.

“We did last time. What a fucking mess,” Archie chimed in, shuddering at the thought.

“Vomit everywhere--” Chop started, Izzy cutting him off.

“Didn’t Barney get alcohol poisoning?” Rae and Chloe exchanged worried glances.

“Don’t think so. He’s so dramatic.”

“Our Finn made it longest! Two whole minutes,” Chop whooped, clapping Finn on the back.

“Two minutes?” Rae snickered, glancing at Finn with a withering look.

“D’ya even know how many times they say Roxanne, Rae? It’s in the sodding 20s.”

“Alright, alright. Let’s get started then.”

They all mixed their respective drinks, Chop going to the stereo to queue up the song. Rae leaned closer to Finn, a laugh already fluttering into his ear.

“Think you’ll last longer than two minutes this time?”

“Don’t you even worry about it, Rae-Rae. I can last all night,” he whispered back, enjoying her blush almost too much.

***

The game was a bit underwhelming with mixed drinks instead of shots but it served its purpose of giving a nice buzz while they settled down for a couple movies. It wasn’t long into the second one that Izzy passed out against Chop’s shoulder, Archie barely keeping conscious from his spot on the lounge. Around the fourth time Chloe and Rae yawned almost in unison, Finn shut the movie off, the gang splitting off to tuck in.

It was a few minutes after 2am and Finn was sat in his bed, his door cracked. He could hear his friends’ snoring from the other rooms and he turned up his music slightly. He’d just opened the window for a smoke when he heard his door creak open fully.

“Finn?”

He looked over to see Rae in his doorway, rubbing her eyes lightly with one hand, a cigarette pack in her other hand.

“What’re you doing up?”

“Can’t sleep. Chop and Iz took your dad’s room, Archie took the lounge, and I was in the guest with Chlo but she keeps stealing the bloody covers,” she lamented, fiddling with the pack. She glanced at his open window and held it up.

“Fancy a spliff?”

***

“Where’s your crap reggae?” Rae teased, glancing at the entertainment center taking up half his opposite wall. Oasis drifted from the speakers, with Roll With It winding down. Finn nodded at the center with a devious grin, moving to get up and change it. She grabbed his arm to stop him with a comical, “Oh God no,” but let go almost instantly like she’d been burned. He felt a warm tingling where her fingers had wrapped around his bicep and he sat back with a shaky laugh.

The opening chords of Wonderwall filled the room as she took a rolled spliff from her pack, holding it out to him to light and hit.

“College starts soon. You excited?” Finn asked, handing her the joint back. She shrugged, dragging on it deeply. She remained silent as she let out a small cloud, watching the smoke disperse with a sigh. Finn cleared his throat, trying to think of something to say.

“It’s not so bad. Not much different from middle school,” Finn tried to reassure her but she scoffed at his words. He frowned and she smiled blithely as she tapped ashes off the spliff out the open window.

“I didn’t have the best school experience,” she explained, fiddling with a loose thread on his duvet. He nodded, not wanting to pry further and make her uncomfortable.

“You’ll have your mates though. Chlo and Iz’ll be in your classes. Arch will be there,” he paused, rubbing the back of his neck, before continuing, “...I’ll be there.” Rae grinned at his words.

“All my mates, huh?” she started, her grin turning mischievous, “Maybe I don’t wanna be your friend.”

***

“So it’s just you and your dad?”

Finn nodded, glancing from the ceiling at Rae next to him. They’d been talking the better part of an hour, quickly jumping from school to music to the gang and now to their families. Rae yawned for what seemed like the millionth time and Finn closed his eyes briefly, just listening to their deep breaths for a moment.

“Mum left when I was five,” he offered, almost unconsciously, and when Rae stiffened next to him, his eyes shot open and went to her. She smiled emphatically.

“My dad left as well,” she said quietly, keeping his gaze for only a second before returning to the ceiling.

“Maybe we have more in common than I thought,” he whispered lightly, chuckling when she swatted his chest.

“Doubt it,” she goaded, scrunching her nose at him. He scrunched his back with a tired smile, closing his eyes again. His breathing had just started to deepen when Rae nudged him.

“Finn?” she whispered softly. He murmured an affirmation, fighting sleep tooth and nail.

“Are we alright?”

He turned to her, opening his eyes to meet hers curiously.

“Yea, ‘course we are,” he responded quietly. She bit her lip, nodding a little.

“We’re mates, right?” he continued, before he could think about it. Her eyes widened a bit and she smiled.

“Yea,” she closed her eyes, smile still in place, “‘Course we are.”

***

Finn woke up what seemed like minutes later, his mouth like cotton and his eyes bleary. He blinked in the sunlight pouring in and was about to sit up and close the curtains when his eyes dropped to the girl beside him.

Rae was still sound asleep, her eyelids fluttering lightly. He watched her sleep, musing that maybe she wasn’t so bad after all. Though the night began like any other, with their snarky comments and annoyed looks and silence between them, it had inexplicably gotten better as it went on. He had to admit she knew her music--not as well as he did, mind--and she was funny as fuck, despite his attempts to ignore her loud jokes with Chopper and Arch. She smoked like a pro, which he couldn’t help but find attractive. Seeing the smoke pour from between her lips was easily one of the most erotic things he’d ever experienced.

He gingerly crawled across the bed and closed the curtains, before making his way back to Rae. He slid back next to her, laying on his side facing her.

He couldn’t deny she was beautiful. Her hair was a deep inky black, long and glossy. It was splayed across his pillow, gorgeous even in its disarray. Her eyes, though closed now, were so expressive, a darkened brown that cut sharply in annoyance, but also widened and shined with humor. He remembered her eyes hardened and glazed when they talked about college but how they’d softened when he’d said they were friends. Her nose was small and pert, almost as expressive as her eyes in the way it would wrinkle and scrunch when she laughed and teased and argued. And her mouth...full pink lips that smiled widely in mirth but pursed in irritation, formed perfect smoke rings and quite frankly, were slowly driving him mad.

His quiet observation of her was interrupted by her deep breath, her eyes blinking open. He smiled as she stifled a yawn and rubbed her eyes, moaning lightly.

“Hiya, sunshine,” he remarked, chuckling at the grimace she shot him. She nudged his leg with her foot and yawned again, only giving him a wave.

“What’s the time?” she whispered, stretching her legs straight before getting more comfortable. Finn glanced at his watch, trying to ignore the closeness of their legs.

“It’s half 9,” he whispered back. He bit his lip as she smirked and burrowed deeper into the covers, moving slightly closer to him in the process.

“Too early to get up,” she murmured, eyes locked on his. They stared at each other in companionable silence before she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Her brow furrowed and her lips quirked.

“You smell good,” she commented, her eyes still closed. Finn felt his face reddening and he swallowed hard.

“Yea? What do I smell like?” he inquired, a bit breathlessly. Her eyes opened before she answered.

“Like weed,” she declared, smirking at his answering laugh before looking over his face, her eyes drawn to his mouth then meeting his again, “and...dark intentions.”

Finn felt a hot desire twisting in his gut and he leaned closer, trying to keep his cool.

“Wow. That’s deep as fuck,” he teased, grinning as she laughed, her cheeks turning a light pink.

“Dickhead,” she replied, coming ever closer. She bit her lip and his eyes fell to it, his heart skipping a beat.

“You’re the dickhead,” he retorted, moving his face towards hers slowly. He could feel her stuttered breath on his face as he moved to close the distance between them. Their lips were just close enough to brush faintly.

She jumped from him abruptly as sounds from outside the room reached them and Chop came barrelling through the almost closed door.

“Have you seen Rae, mate, she wasn’t with Chlo in--oh,” Chop stopped himself, before grinning widely, “Don’t let me interrupt, kids!” He went to leave the room again and Finn sat up, throwing the covers off of them to reveal their clothed bodies. Chop almost looked disappointed.

“Didn’t you learn how to knock, Peters?” Finn snapped, giving Rae an apologetic frown. She shrugged, her face turning a light pink. She got up and quickly went past Chop out of the room, her voice joining the others’ out in the hall. Finn stood and threw a punch to Chop’s arm that he dodged deftly with a knowing grin.

“Had a good night then?” Chop asked, feigning innocence. Finn levelled a glare at him as they left the room.

“Fuck off, Chopper.”

***

When Chop and Finn joined the others downstairs, Archie was holding a large trash bag open while Chloe and Izzy threw in empty bottles and pizza boxes. Rae was bent over the stereo, scrolling through the library with a joint hanging between her pouted lips.

Finn crept behind her, admiring the curve of her arse for a moment before shifting to her side. He bent to her level and got as close to her ear as he dared.

“I got a request,” he spoke quietly, barely stifling a laugh when she jumped, her hand going to her chest.

“Prick,” she grumbled around the joint, smoke lingering between their faces. He simply grinned, nudging her with his shoulder. She moved a step, dragging on the spliff as she watched his fingers tap through to Primal Scream and further to Movin’ On Up. Finn chanced a glance at her when the guitar began. A smile played on her lips, tinged with surprise.

“There’s hope for you yet, Finley,” she said breezily. She held the spliff out as she stood up fully, still smiling. He took it, placing it between his smirking lips. He kept his eyes on hers as he hit it, feeling his feet moving him closer to her. She came a half a step closer to him, her gaze flicking over him quickly. She watched as he exhaled and he tried not to lose his cool under her scrutiny. Her eyes fell to his throat and she bit her lip as he swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing.

“Rae, we’re heading out, are you coming?” Chloe appeared to their side, looking between them with raised brows. Finn cleared his throat, glancing to Chloe before looking to the floor, feigning interest in the carpet. Rae stifled an annoyed sigh, telling her she’d be just a minute and to go on to the car. Finn met her eyes when Chloe walked off, chirping a goodbye.

“Soz, I should probably go,” she said reluctantly, already starting to turn away. Finn rushed to speak.

“I’ll give you a ring later this week, yeah?” he stated more than asked, instantly regretting his haste when she gave him a confused smile.

“Why?” she queried, shuffling her feet a bit. He grinned as reassuringly as possible.

“Because I’ve got some crap reggae to show ya,” he laughed, his face practically splitting when she rolled her eyes. He looked her over as her smile became firmer and braced himself for his next words.

“Plus...I like talking to you,” he began, moving the remaining distance to be right in front of her. “I don’t like talking to anyone,” he finished in a conspiratorial whisper. Their hands brushed from where they hung close and he felt more than saw a shiver run through her.

“Yeah, alright,” she said, barely meeting his eyes but smiling. She seemed to take a deep breath before holding her arms out for a goodbye hug.

“It’s a date,” he burst out, before leaning into her and kissing her cheek. She practically froze in front of him but recovered quickly, breathing out a laugh.

“Laters, Finn,” she said gently, her cheeks turning a deep red. He nodded, waving slightly as she walked away and out the door. His hand met his forehead in a smack and he shook his head at his dumb luck.

“I can’t believe that worked out,” Chop marveled, barking a laugh. Archie exchanged a grin with him and clapped Finn on the shoulder.

“Ol’ Finny’s in love,” he cooed, pursing his lips into a smooch. 

But Finn’s smile didn’t waver for a second.