#instead of taking another class
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i’m so not ready to start school in two weeks
#i wanna cry and throw up every time i think about it#but at least it’s just this year and then i’m done!!! but i gotta write my thesis ew#also like i’m stressed cause the thesis is one credit right#and my academic advisor was like okay actually you’re gonna need to take two more credits with your thesis advisor#instead of taking another class#okay cool so i email her about that and she’s like let me get back to you#and it’s been almost a week since that and now i’m stressed bc first off i’ll need those credits to graduate#so it’s not like i just can’t have them#and also if she says no then i need to find another class or something to take to fill in the space#cause i have to have a certain amount of credits for the financial aid#so anyway yeah i’m stressed cause it’s two weeks out#ugh and not to mention last week one professor was like hey do y’all wanna change our class time to earlier#and i haven’t heard if that’s confirmed yet#and like besties pls hurry up cause i need to put in to have my work schedule changed like asap#ugh sorry for the five million tags i just really needed to write this down somewhere so it’s out of my head
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Day 89

As a guy with a musical background, the note sequence at the bottom hurts me /lh
(From TV episode 12B In a Jam)
#htf#happy tree friends#htf nutty#Ok ok I know it’s not that serious and it’s just supposed to be a collection of random notes to imply music#But lemme be a nerd for a minute ok!!#okay so firstly none of those aren’t like. Technically real notes??#I looked it up and apparently they are considered tremolo eighth notes#which is basically where you rapidly switch between two notes next to each other on the scale#So in reality it’s a modification to a normal eighth note which normally has the little circle filled in#Also!! All these notes are eighth notes! The double one is just two eighth notes tied together#The direction of the stem on the notes doesn’t matter although they’re only drawn on the left when the note is on the upper half of the sta#and even then they point downward instead of upward#so technically the first four notes are backwards#anyways so there’s five eighth notes in this sequence. Each eighth note equals half a beat#(yeah the naming convention is a lil funky to none music folks. The notes are named after how much they take up a 4 beat measure)#(a whole note is 4 beats so one eighth of 4 is 1/2)#anyways so that means this musical sequence equals 2.5 beats#Measures don’t tend to be mixed numbers or fractions#so to actually play this rhythm you would need to slot a half rest somewhere#and that’s not even mentioning how this sequence isn’t even accurate to the actual sound in the final episode#which makes sense the boards were probably done before the sound editing took place and the little tune in the final is much nicer sounding#Than what this sequence would’ve sounded like played#Going off of ear I thiiiink what’s played in the final is a quarter note followed by a sixteenth note run#Followed by another quarter note???#idk I’m not an expert I’ve just been playing a clarinet for school band stuff since like. 4th grade lol#im not even that good at it but I still do marching band anyway#anyways thanks for coming to music class/Odie overanalyzes a series of notes that weren’t supposed to mean anythin
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just ran into an old high school friend (i graduated from high school like 7 years ago??) and she asked me what i was doing and i told her i’m majoring in accounting and she went silent for a second and was like “really? you always wanted to be a writer.” and i swear a part of me actually died.
#i always knew i wouldn’t pursue writing#i come from a poor family sooo i knew i had to pursue money sadly :///#i always wanted to be an english major or teacher tho :(#maybe in another universe…#i also used to write in a hidden notebook during classes instead of making homework or taking notes#god i miss it actually#haven’t written much since i graduated from high school :(
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Another round of ~things~ but more related to Episode 1:
Thing #1: Jammer goes to Roosevelt University. Season 2 is occurring during his Spring Break
Assuming the holiday episode from Season 1 happened in December of 2021, according to Roosevelt University's academic calendar, MisMag Season 2 is possibly happening during the week of March 3rd, 2025
Thing #2: In Episode 1, Jammer said he was planning to just work out during Spring Break
Meaning even if he hadn't gone on the mission for Dr. B., he still wouldn't have gone to Punta Cana to have fun with Aaron and his other teammates...
Thing #3: Dr. Boodle’s history class wasn't part of the curriculum for the Pilot Program during their first term, but Jammer said they'd probably take his class on purpose the next semester because Dr. B. was so cool
Jammer didn't return to Gowpenny after The Lulling, which was at the end of that first term
Jammer never took Dr. Boodle’s class
#misfits and magic 2#mismag 2#whitney jammer#forget Sex Magic 201#Jammer you promised to take Dr. Boodle's class!!!#thinking about how Jammer doesn't allow himself to take a break#his intro for Season 2 included agreeing to work during his summer vacation - which should be his holiday! a break!#and then he gets invited by Dr. B. to go on a magical mission during spring break - another holiday gone!#even the latest episode he didn't have a chance to properly sleep and he solved that issue with the effects of caffeine - which isn't rest!#20yo is too young to hit burn-out Jammer please#if the spring break is happening in march of 2024 instead of 2025 though#season 1 was recorded in march of 2021#so season 2 would be taking place almost exactly 3 years since mismag was first filmed...
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things I wish I could relive for the first time again:
that magical window where you finish a new piece of media, having watched/read it all by yourself with no fandom contact whatsoever, and you are just so happy about it, and full of interesting theories and takeaways, and just in love with it as a gorgeous piece of art.
because I swear to god as soon as you join the fandom for anything, you're bombarded with how you're supposed to view characters and their arcs, how you're supposed to morally and ethically judge the plot and the ways it apparently failed to present the right message, and if you don't you'll either be shunned for not sharing the popular headcanons or you'll be harassed for not criticizing the source material enough.
like how is it that the fans of a piece of media are also the ones being the most negative about it? If I like a show or a movie or a book, well, I liked it. That's kind of the point. I'm actually not here to tear it apart and talk about how it didn't live up to standards other people had! I enjoyed it for what it was, and forcing myself to find negative things to say about it doesn't actually bring me more enjoyment of it or reap any benefit to me. Fandom's a double-edged sword; you want to join a community to share your love for a piece of art, and the price you pay for a modicum of joy is a mountain of negativity. that's one main reason that I never engage with fandom until I'm completely done with a show, because if I was plugged into all of that commentary and discourse during the process, I'd be completely colored by how I'm expected to interpret everything this piece of art is presenting to me without being able to even form my own opinions.
#this is currently about arcane but it's also every fandom i've been in since the dawn of time#there is so much political discourse about how the show handled the piltover zaun conflict and class struggle and i just#like i don't even know what to say besides. art doesn't have to provide the correct answer you know#it's not asking you to accept their explanation as the right one. it's just presenting a story. a scenario. a nuanced one at that#which of course the internet is the enemy of nuance as we know#especially in arcane i thought it was fairly clear that the end wasn't the bright shining future anyone hoped it'd be.#was anyone right in their actions? did anything turn out the way they wanted? or was it just as messy and gray as real life#we're living in such a myopic time for art where it's believed every story must take the correct stance or be invalid or even harmful#instead of just offering a perspective. a lived experience. a hypothetical. a story.#and when it gets to be headache inducing all I can do is take myself back to how I felt when I watched the show for the first time#and I came away from the whole thing being incredibly moved and captivated by the entire story and its nuance.#i had no qualms and no criticisms and i was very impressed with the depth of storytelling surrounding the political parts of the plot#as well as the character arcs. i guess people like to dunk on viktor's s2 arc nowadays and i just. shrug. i was blown away by it#for me at least i have nothing but pure love and admiration for art after i've viewed it. it's only after interacting with fandom#that the criticisms seep in and now i can't unsee it and even if i don't agree with it it still muddies my ability to enjoy the art#fandom is a curse in that sense. like i seek out art that i enjoy. i have no desire to make myself dislike that art. whats the point#why are the biggest haters of a piece of media the 'fans' of it idk.#me finishing a show: wow i love all the characters and the plot and the cinematography! I want to talk to others about how cool it is!#meanwhile the fandom hating characters to the point of death threats to their creators#after 13 years in fandom i can say this - if you don't need to join the fandom for smth then don't lmao.#you'll be able to retain your genuine enjoyment of the thing.#that whole 'if you didnt like what i made then make your own' philosophy people use on fanfic/fanart should be applied more#to actual published art too. you should be able to meet art where it's at and if you don't like what it's saying or how it looks then#just move on and find something else. another branch of the 'the greatest enemy of the left is the left' tree imo#a show has a lot of queer rep? bash it to the point of making the creators go into hiding for not doing it how you think it should be#no artist will ever be able to satisfy everyone's demands. they just want to put their experiences and ideas into the world#creators that try to do good get more vitriol than those who never try. they're scrutinized harder and judged more harshly#it's just. one of those 'real fucking tired of fandom' nights. the best cure is just going back and rewatching the source material#all on your own and falling back in love with it. just you and your genuine connection with the art.#anyway what happened to steven universe was unforgiveable and it really ruined fandom for me. like. yall don't deserve nice things
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Hey guys!
Guess who’s slowly loosing passion to do anything!
MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
#I might cry#no real reason#I’m just tired#and don’t want to see a few very specific friends of mine#and I’m super stressed out about homework#but the homework is kids my fault considering I didn’t do anything over the weekend#and the music teacher keeps wanting me to sing in a very high register that makes me want to cry#and I can never be a guy#and my parents are trump supporters#back to the homework#I have a presentation I have to do#and then another presentation after that#and then one supper long reading thing that I have to take note on#and then another supper long reading thing that I have to take notes on#and i\an in class essay on Friday#and I can’t tell if I’m hungry or not#I’ve noticed that instead of my body giving me hunger signals#I just get really tired and sleepy#I probably just need to eat food#by the dinner my mom made looks so fucking unappetizing#like I look at it and feel like I might throw up if I eat it#I don’t know what to do#I don’t want to eat#I don’t want to do homework#I go to draw and then it looks like shit so I’m to demotivated to do that#also why does drawing one fucking think take so long#i hate this i hate this i hate this#I need to do homework but I just want to lie down and do nothing#but I know it will be even more stressful later if I don’t do it now#but I also just want to cry
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I am going to crusade the next important development in TTRPG book design which is alternate organization schemas. I could couch this in actual knowledge organization principles, like the fact that alphabetical order is not inherently the best system and is taken for granted as universally intuitive when that is not accurate.
But really, my primary motive is having ONE experience where the wizard main life does not mean you're always the last class in the damn book.
#this is entirely a joke to be clear lmao#I mean the commentary about alphabetization not inherently being an ideal schema is true#HOWEVER#I am now taking suggestions for classes that come after wizard alphabetically I do think that is another very funny concept#a full ttrpg wherein wizard is actually the first class alphabetically instead of the last lmao
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#keep wondering why I picked the major I did#why didn't I pick another major??? why didn't I pick history instead of english#every time I start to feel like I'm really liking my major and feeling settled and at peace with it... I just kind of fall apart and start#questioning everything again :P#blehhckckk#anyway I should actually spend some time with the catalogue now and try to figure out what classes I want to take in the fall#even though I'm kind of exhausted all-around and don't want to think about anything right now#much less going back to school and taking more classes#I'm so worn out tbh#I just feel so tired all the time and trying to talk to people is exhausting#gurt says stuff
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#so instead of regular classes tomorrow we're supposed to meet at this factory for a guided tour or whatever#which means that my commute changes A Lot (like i have to take the bus + subway + walk a bit instead of just taking the ferry) and i have t#leave 45 minutes earlier to be there on time#and my body literally cannot handle the change#like i've been almost frozen all day because i Don't Want To but also staying home because boohoo my commute changes feels childish#but it's not just that i just don't know what we're doing tomorrow at all#and i can't handle the not knowing#anyway yay autism and social anxiety#there are two possibilities here: 1) i stay home and work on another school project and hate myself for letting my anxiety rule my life#and 2) i go and am extremely nervous all day and come home exhausted and hate myself for letting my anxiety affect me so much#which one is better
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Hot tip for teens: maybe don’t go to college straight out of high school, especially if you don’t know what you want to study, have zero work ethic, motivation, or desire to succeed, and no goals correlated to obtaining your degree to motivate you. Cus if you do, you’re gonna be pretty fucked.
#not even advice really#I’m just going through it kind of#I’m a failure#I don’t know why I thought I could do this I barely survived senior year#how the fuck was I expecting to manage my own work with zero accountability or guidance of my work#I just. I’m gonna fail one of my classes. and I’ll have to take another first year writing class which means all the fucking time I wasted#in that stupid fucking class ended up meaning nothing. it was fucking pointless and a burden bc I might not even pass#I don’t know what to do with my life#I feel like I just need a year to get my life together before college??? but part of me knows that wouldn’t fix anything#in fact it may make everything worse but god I was just tired of being hassled by my parents and I wanted to do the ‘right’ thing so#I fucking went to college instead. what a stupid fucking idea.#I can’t fucking do this. I can’t do anything. I can’t even be responsible for myself#fuck dude#idk what to say
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Modern au
Manon and Dorian are kinda sorta pretentious af and they made sure their daughter has a name that has its own weight but also they made sure it’s beautiful.
Their daughter’s name and middle name translates to: beautiful gracious queen (her first name is welsh like her mama and Dorian was the one to pick her middle name and he made sure both names worked together both in sound and meaning)
The daughter accidentally learned of her name’s meaning and with her ego it wasn’t a good kind of knowledge.
Because when anyone referred to her as ‘princess’ she’d just roll her eyes (like her mom) and mutter “why call me a princess when I’m a queen”
Anyway baby ate her pride when she started school and was forced to learn how to write her name. Because her name (first) is long. With eight letters there were a lot of tears involved.
Manon negotiated (she actually lost the negotiations because her daughter is small and too pitiful she had to help) again pushover mama so anyway baby would write it only three times and Manon would write the rest.
Dorian was like ‘witchling, you can’t do that’ and he’d sit with his daughter instead because ‘you need to learn how to write your name’ but his daughter argues that his and Manon’s names are short and they don’t understand her plight
Dorian is like, it’s only two letters more than his name, and three letters more than Manon’s so it’s really not that bad.
He lays down on the floor next to the tantruming child. He helps by writing her name twice but she has to do the rest.
Honestly Manon is weak and gives in easily this is why Dorian took over homework because he can handle their child and her dramatics (which she takes after him that’s why he GETS her while Manon just gives in)
#booklr#books and reading#throne of glass#manon blackbeak#tog#dorian havilliard#manon x dorian#manorian#child is dramatic but she does have a long name#Dorian shocked her into silence when he wrote her WHOLE name and told her that see your first name isn’t too bad you could be writing THIS#instead and he’d add: it would probably take you a whole month to finish so be grateful it’s just that#but his daughter would argue that she rarely goes by her full name anyway it’s always shortened and her TEACHER even calls her by that name#but she’s a meanie who makes her write her full first name for a reason#but really Dorian decided that school work is going to be his thing#Manon has trauma from her own academic performance which is why she vowed to never put any kind of academic pressure on her child even if#it means doing half of her daughter’s homework because she won’t let her suffer like she did#Dorian was like nope I’m handling this you just put it out of your mind and he was the one handling school#not doing much just making sure his daughter does her homework he doesn’t care about grades as long as his daughter is putting in the work#if she struggles with a subject he maxes sure to explain it to her so that she doesn’t struggle but it’s mostly just a no pressure area#Dorian and Manon would never pressure their daughter to get straight A’s in all her classes she can get whatever grade she wants as long as#she’s happy. but after the first few years like starting fifth or sixth grade their daughter kinda sorta saw the light and took studying#seriously because she likes the sense of accomplishment and loves getting praised so she made it her thing#she loves it when her parents show up to these things so that was another incentive
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gonna see if i can beg my advisor into letting me do independent study for my political science capstone bc im so close to being done this fuckass major but theres like no polisci classes available to take w/o them being at some disgusting time. idk
#i hate this school#and its lack of classes im able to take#oh you need this for ur public policy requirement? too bad none available#same w/ my journalism minor like helloooo ??????#do yall not want me to graduate omfg#and i cant just bullshit my schedule bc i took all my gen eds#and on top of it the website to do scheduling is so ass#like bro im mentally not here anymore and mental illness and doom are looming over me do NOT give me more issues#you know its bad when ur bpd flares up again. i havent had that happen in a while ??#omfg i did schedule planning a week ago and they TOOK AWAY CLASSES ???? BRO ??#'sorry campaigns and elections not available anymore pick another class' 1000 YEARS OF SUFFERING#i literally have bigger concerns but this is just the thing at the forefront of my mind#being almost done college is a nightmare bro#literally considered switching my concentration from government and politics to international relations BRO YOU CANT JUST DO THAT !!!!!#TALK TO UR THERAPIST INSTEAD. RUSSIAN FOREIGN POLICY IS NOT GONNA FIX YOU#idk what im waffling on about#im going mad. fucking college (is paying to be there)#certified newmans own
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That feeling when you get a 5 on your AP 2D portfolio and a 4 on your AP Precalc exam B)
#ap tests#ap scores#ap classes#I might have to take another ap class this year by force :(#I’m gonna see if I can change it for a dual enrollment class instead#I would post some here but I fear I have already posted them on an account where irl follow me#and I do not wish to be found#high school#inkyarcturus babbles :p
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He is one minute old
#ocs#wilson fischer#wilson#vicky rogers#vicky#I’m starting another comic instead of finishing the other 3 I’ve started#anyway this takes place in their dance class and later in asas car#which is when they first meet!!!!
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just put in my notice at my job! I'm in my last semester and then it's applying timeeee! Wooo!
I need a spreadsheet of where I want to apply...
these next two months are going to be crazyyy
#I had to retake a class because I faileddd#NOT because I'm stupid#this year has just been one disaster after another#so I'm taking THREE classes this semester#hence why I'm quitting my job#so close to being done#and then I'll just have one job#instead of two jobs and school#also a job where I don't have to wake up before 6am?? sign me up!#og#werk#skewl#31#summer
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long shot and i'll probably rb this a few times later for visibility sake but um. could i convince any of you to be my beta reader? please idk how much longer i can manage doing this on my own _(´ཀ`」 ∠) _
#txt#virgil vents#i don't mind editing stuff myself but i could really use another set of eyes#cause i don't want to have to wait an extra 3-5 days before posting every time i'm done solely bc like ->#my brain predicts what it knows i already wrote and then i miss simple errors because of it#and also. it already takes a lot out of me to write the word amount i'm hitting. reading it over and over by JUST myself is tiring#i'm proud of what i'm making and doing and i can do it by myself but transparently#i could use the help atp and it would really steamline shit for me some. i could use some external support#especially since now i'm in classes again#pls lmk here or dm me#i would pay u if i could but i have 3 crumbs in my wallet so what i can offer instead#is i will happily write you something tailored or draw you a free comm or something if you're willing to help me out#1 sketch for every chapter read or somethin#i will make a punch out card and u get a whole piece every 5 chapters idk lsakdjflksdjf
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