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recallsdirect · 2 days ago
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Product Recall: IKEA 365+ VÄRDEFULL Garlic Presses:
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probablyasocialecologist · 10 months ago
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Artificial intelligence is worse than humans in every way at summarising documents and might actually create additional work for people, a government trial of the technology has found. Amazon conducted the test earlier this year for Australia’s corporate regulator the Securities and Investments Commission (ASIC) using submissions made to an inquiry. The outcome of the trial was revealed in an answer to a questions on notice at the Senate select committee on adopting artificial intelligence. The test involved testing generative AI models before selecting one to ingest five submissions from a parliamentary inquiry into audit and consultancy firms. The most promising model, Meta’s open source model Llama2-70B, was prompted to summarise the submissions with a focus on ASIC mentions, recommendations, references to more regulation, and to include the page references and context. Ten ASIC staff, of varying levels of seniority, were also given the same task with similar prompts. Then, a group of reviewers blindly assessed the summaries produced by both humans and AI for coherency, length, ASIC references, regulation references and for identifying recommendations. They were unaware that this exercise involved AI at all. These reviewers overwhelmingly found that the human summaries beat out their AI competitors on every criteria and on every submission, scoring an 81% on an internal rubric compared with the machine’s 47%.  Human summaries ran up the score by significantly outperforming on identifying references to ASIC documents in the long document, a type of task that the report notes is a “notoriously hard task” for this type of AI. But humans still beat the technology across the board. Reviewers told the report’s authors that AI summaries often missed emphasis, nuance and context; included incorrect information or missed relevant information; and sometimes focused on auxiliary points or introduced irrelevant information. Three of the five reviewers said they guessed that they were reviewing AI content. The reviewers’ overall feedback was that they felt AI summaries may be counterproductive and create further work because of the need to fact-check and refer to original submissions which communicated the message better and more concisely. 
3 September 2024
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mingemuncher40k · 2 years ago
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Any reccomendations 4 death metal with women vocalists?
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yeahyankee · 2 years ago
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Incredible that a decade after this, his son, also the President of the United States, passed out while choking on a pretzel.
i learned that the Japanese have a word "Busshu-suru" which translates as "To do the Bush thing" meaning "to vomit" referring to the time when George H.W. Bush' vomited in Japan's prime minister's lap (x)
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breelandwalker · 5 months ago
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Magical Oil Recipes - Baneful Blends Edition
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For anyone looking to brew up a potion with a less-than-friendly bent, here are some recipes I've created that you might find useful.
To prepare them, blend the ingredients in such proportions as feels correct for your purposes (or as supplies allow). Use dried material except where indicated. Place a few spoonfuls in a mason jar with a screwtop lid and fill the jar with a bland oil of your choice. (Vegetable oil of the sort you would buy for cooking works fine.) Screw the lid on tightly and shake well to combine, then leave the jar in a dark dry place for 2-4 weeks to steep.
Once steeped, prepare a clean storage bottle (also with a secure lid) and label with the type of oil and the bottling date. Strain the oil through paper towels or cheesecloth to remove the plant material, then bottle immediately. Store away from sunlight and heat for up to one year. Use for spellwork as you see fit.
(Please note that NONE of these potions are meant to be taken internally by any means. Observe all proper safety measures related to glass, fire, and potentially harmful plants as necessary during preparation.)
*- Ingredient is potentially harmful if inhaled or ingested. **- Ingredient should not be used or handled if you are pregnant or nursing.
All-Purpose Hexing Oil For general hexing, cursing, and baneful magic.
Dried Chili Pepper
Fresh Lime Peel
Lemongrass (dried or fresh)
Rusted Nail (place in bottle with finished oil)
All-Purpose Hexbreaking Oil For general negation of baneful spells cast by oneself or others.
Agrimony**
Cinquefoil
Fennel
Vervain
Solomon's Seal Root (place in bottle with finished oil)
Backhanded Blessing Oil For blessings that are anything but benevolent.
Burnt Cinquefoil
Bay Leaf
Pine Needles
Bayberry Root NOTE: Prepare as you would a blessing oil, then twist the blessing into a curse, i.e. May You Get Everything You Deserve.
Done in the Dark Concealment Oil For secrecy, confidentiality, and general deception.
Juniper Berries
Licorice Root
Black Hemp (Dogbane)
Ferns or Dried Seaweed Note: For the final ingredient, use whichever is easier to obtain. Both bracken and seaweed work well for basic concealment spells.
Eye of Newt Disruption Oil For disrupting and confounding magical efforts against you.
Black Mustard Seeds
Bloodroot**
Nettle Leaf
Garlic (1 clove, bruised)
No Rest For The Wicked Hexing Oil For punishing one's enemies.
Chili Pepper (any)
Horseradish Root
Cramp Bark
Bayberry Root
On Your Own Head Retribution Oil For counter magic and revenge hexes.
Elderberries*
Bloodroot**
Devil's Shoestring**
Vetiver
Tangled Shoelaces Binding Oil To impede someone's ability to move or act against you.
Pine Needles
Devil's Shoestring**
Scullcap**
Coffee Grounds
Iron Nail in master bottle
Wicked Witch Heavy-Duty Cursing Oil For occasions when a regular-strength hex just won't do.
Wormwood* **
Ghost Chili Pepper (or the hottest chili you can get)
Lemon Seeds
Lobelia* Note: Use With Extreme Caution And Cover Your Ass.
Witchbane Warding Oil For repelling and countering harmful spells.
Bay Leaves
Elderflower
Star Anise
Birch Bark
Should the reader require supplies, I recommend the following:
Penn Herb Company
Starwest Botanicals
Bulk Apothecary
Mountain Rose Herbs
Specialty Bottle
Image Credit - Shaiith
All recipes are (c) 2017 Bree NicGarran, published in Pestlework: A Book of Magical Powders & Oils. Please check out the book if you would like more recipes.
If you’re enjoying my content, please feel free to drop a little something in the tip jar, tune in to my podcast Hex Positive, or check out my published works on Amazon or in the Willow Wings Witch Shop.
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p0orbaby · 7 months ago
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if you’re still doing blurbs could you do one with alexia where she’s dating a doctor who has a very busy schedule, and alexia has a concussion in the training and gors to the hospital, and alexia sends a message to reader telling about it but r doesn’t see and when shes going to take care of the next patient it’s alexia? lmao or maybe alexia and r have a daughter and her daughter gets injured and shes the next patient and r goes feral about it idk
i changed the injury but i hope you still like it !
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The shift is hell, as usual. You’re striding through corridors, flicking through paperwork and half-listening to one of the interns ramble about a patient they’re struggling to diagnose. Something about abdominal pain and “maybe a foreign object ingestion?” You nod distractedly, mentally filing it under deal with later.
“Just send them for imaging,” you say, not breaking your stride. “And next time, don’t say ‘foreign object’ like you’re narrating a true crime documentary. It’s unsettling”
The intern stammers out a response, but you’re already waving them off. “You’ll be fine. Go. Be great or something.” Another day, another long list of problems, it seems. You let yourself drift into autopilot, the professional rhythm of your job taking over as you stride towards the cubicle and pull back the curtain.
“Hi, I’m Dr Putellas,” you begin, still not looking up. “What seems to be—”
“¿Estás bromeando?”
You freeze. Your grip on the clipboard tightens, and your heart drops into your stomach because that voice, that exasperated, honey-warm, decidedly unimpressed voice, belongs to your wife.
Your injured wife, apparently.
“Alexia?” you blurt, snapping your head up to find her sitting on the exam table, her left leg stretched out in front of her, an ice pack balanced precariously on her knee.
She doesn’t look happy.
“Hola, cariño,” she says, dry as dust. “Fancy seeing you here”
For a moment, all you can do is stare, caught between disbelief and irritation. “What—what happened? Why didn’t you call me?”
“I did call you,” she replies, gesturing to her phone sitting next to her on the table. “Several times. Apparently, you’re very busy and important”
Your stomach twists with guilt as you instinctively check your phone. Sure enough, three missed calls from Alexia. You curse under your breath, shoving it back into your pocket and stepping closer.
“Are you okay?” you ask, switching instantly from doctor mode to wife mode. “What happened? Is it bad? Why didn’t someone—”
“Relax, doctor,” Alexia interrupts, lifting her free hand to stop your avalanche of questions. “It’s not that bad. Just a tackle gone wrong at training”
You glance at the ice pack, then at her knee, which looks swollen but not grotesque. “Define ‘not that bad.’ Can you move it?”
Alexia sighs like you’re overreacting and flexes her leg a little, wincing but managing. “See? It’s fine. Probably just a sprain”
“Sprains don’t feel fine,” you mutter, already pulling on gloves and grabbing your supplies. You kneel down, gently pressing around her knee, watching her face for any reaction.
“Your hands are cold,” she says, the corner of her mouth twitching like she’s trying not to smile.
“Your knee is swollen,” you counter.
“Touché”
You’re quiet for a moment, focused on the task. The swelling isn’t as bad as you feared, but it’s enough to set off every alarm in your mind. You sit back on your heels, exhaling slowly.
“You need imaging,” you say firmly. “Just to be safe”
“Of course I do,” she replies, her tone light but her eyes softening. “Because I’m married to the most thorough doctor in this hospital”
“Don’t flirt with me right now,” you say, though your lips twitch in a betrayed smile. “You scared me”
Her expression softens further, and she reaches out, brushing her fingers against your cheek. “Lo siento, mi amor. I didn’t mean to”
You close your eyes briefly, leaning into her touch. Then, with a deep breath, you stand up, trying to refocus.
“Alright,” you say briskly, grabbing the chart again. “Let’s get you x-rayed and figure out what’s going on. And after that, you’re resting. No arguing.
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Alexia says, her smile turning mischievous. “But I might need some help resting”
You narrow your eyes at her. “Careful, Putellas. I can still make you wait for a nurse”
“Please.” She gestures around dramatically. “You’d never leave me at the mercy of hospital food”
“Not unless you keep up that attitude,” you mutter, but your heart is already lighter.
You press a quick kiss to her temple before heading for the door. “I’ll be back. Don’t go anywhere”
“Where would I go?” she calls after you, gesturing to her knee.
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merakiui · 8 months ago
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the symptoms of being human.
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jade leech x (gender neutral) reader note - being human comes with its fair share of very specific symptoms. or: jade has lived in saltwater his entire life. never has it leaked out of him before. // HAPPIEST OF BIRTHDAYS TO MY BIRTHDAY BESTIE @heyyy11!!!!!! 🎉 many wonderful wishes of health, happiness, and good fortune for you!!!! :D it isn't a lot, but please enjoy this little gift i prepared in celebration!!!
But a mermaid has no tears, and therefore she suffers so much more.
A long time ago, a human penned that line in reference to merfolk and their inability to shed tears. A fact as intimate as that couldn’t have possibly been common knowledge amongst humans, or so Jade assumed every time the story was regurgitated at bedtime. He always did that: apply logic to areas where logic wasn’t needed. His teachers used to tell him, “Jade, sometimes you need to suspend your disbelief in order to immerse yourself in a fictional world.” He could try—and try he did—but he’d find himself lingering on that quote every time.
A slight amendment to that: merfolk can cry and they do suffer, but whether they suffer more is impossible to know without further study.
Jade operates under the notion that there are explanations for everything, even the wildest of lunacy. There is comfort in comprehension. He would spend hours holed up in his sleeping nook, poring over stories and texts on humans and beastfolk. He would compare and contrast them. Can a tearless cry indicate the amount of suffering per species, or is such an abstract concept even remotely quantifiable? Perhaps it is because merfolk cry silently that they suffer. Because there is no one who can hear their weeping in the deep sea. Because there is no physical proof.
It’s easier to recognize the physical signs of grief, for what happens within is shrouded in secrecy, veiled in the depths of the heart.
So when Jade comes onto land for the first time, human skin stretched over a skeleton altered with a potion, every inch awkward and aching, the sea leaks out of his pores. He feels like a pufferfish not yet expanded but on the verge of bloating, deflated and weak, salt still spilling. And he knows it’s salt because he swipes two fingers under his armpit and brings them to his mouth to taste. It’s saltwater.
He later learns, while sitting in Professor Crewel’s class and listening to him drone on about anatomy, that this is the phenomenon known as sweating. Jade sweats when he exerts himself, when his body temperature rises degrees over what’s internally comfortable and he needs to cool down, when he ingests something spicy, when he’s sick with a fever, when he’s stressed… It’s a fascinating facet of human biology he was previously unaware of.
Azul called these peculiarities “symptoms of being human,” and what intriguing symptoms they are! He hopes to experience even more as he completes his education on land, regardless of how troublesome they might be.
Having a symptom of something implies the affected is ill in some way—as if humanity itself is an illness and this human body serves as more of a hindrance than help. Jade will forever be an eel merman, and this body is just a clever cloak crafted to make his life on land habitable. Although there are moments where he thinks his original form would suit a certain task. Like swimming or any sport in the water, really. But he likes to struggle and fail, learning from every human mistake.
These symptoms are not terrible. Not to him, at least.
He meets you in the woods. You’re hunched over the ground, patting a compact lump of freshly disturbed soil. A burial, he thinks, but then he’s not certain. When you fashion a little marker out of sticks and ribbons, it occurs to him that he was right.
“Hello to you, too,” you say, turning to glance at him.
There’s something that stills in the air. A feeling catches and tugs at his heart. He can’t explain it—still can’t even to this day—but something trickles out of his eyes then. A droplet of water and then another and then more until silent streams are falling thick. He blinks until his once-blurry vision clears, only to find you’re looking at him fully now.
Jade gathers the wetness on his fingertips and licks curiously. Salt.
Horrifyingly, he’s sweating from his eyes.
He doesn’t panic. A grotesque part of him wants to know what else these eyes are capable of in this body. 
You draw in breath through your lips. A gasp. “Oh! Are you all right?”
He nods because even if his brain doesn’t understand it yet his heart does.
You are the person he’s going to spend the rest of his life with.
This isn’t fiction, and he doesn’t have to pretend to accept it as his temporary reality just to enjoy the story it promises. He knows. His heart—the eel-mer heart—knows. This salt is a symptom of being human, but a symptom of being a mer is that there is the strongest sixth sense for finding one’s other half.
“Are you sure?” you press, rising to your feet, digging through your bag for tissue. “You’re crying!”
He blinks back at you. I’m…crying.
He’s not sweating. He’s crying.
“Forgive me,” he says even though he knows there’s nothing to apologize for. “My eyes must not be working today.”
A sympathetic smile spreads on your face. “Did you come here with anyone?”
He shakes his head and explains rather simply that he’s come on account of club business. “I’m the only member in my club,” he elaborates unnecessarily, “and so I often come here to hike and forage. I suppose I wasn’t expecting to run into anyone on this route.”
“Club? You’re a student?” Before he has a chance to respond, you add, “No way! What school? I’m from Royal Sword.”
“Night Raven.”
“Whoa! That’s so cool. I’ve heard lots about that school. Oh, sorry, I’m totally chatting your ear off. If it’s not an issue, would you like to walk back together? Don’t take this the wrong way. I’m just worried about you.”
The affable conversation was so smooth Jade almost forgot he’s been leaking—crying—the entire time.
“Why would you be worried? I assure you there’s nothing in this forest that could harm me,” he says, holding a hand over his heart.
As if it isn’t the woods that might hurt him but, rather, the person standing in front of him. He has never felt any need to protect his heart, but now he thinks he must. If he’s to offer it to you in the future, he wants to do so when it is perfectly whole and packed full of happiness.
“Um… Well, I just don’t want you to do anything…harmful,” you say, stringing the words together awkwardly. “People care about you. They’d miss you.”
He glances past you at the burial. Just above, a nest of baby birds chirp noisily. He understands now.
“As it happens, I’m currently quite content.”
“You are?”
He tilts his head at you and smiles, teary-eyed and most likely red in the face.
“I am. Very much so. I’ve experienced another human symptom. I couldn’t be any happier.”
You exhale a quiet, semi-amused breath. “I’m glad.” Your hand is held out next. “I’m (Name). It’s nice to meet you.”
His webless, clawless hand closes around yours. “Jade Leech,” he greets.
— — —
“You look good,” Floyd compliments, watching Jade fuss over himself in the mirror. “Shrimpy’ll think so. And Mama. Pops, too.”
“So everyone,” he replies smartly, his hands shaking as he smooths the nonexistent wrinkles in his suit. They reach for the jewelry strung around his neck. He’s wearing his mother’s pearls. Tradition and memory are twined throughout each one. For every hand that holds this chain, a new pearl will be added. It has been in his family for ages. After today, he’ll add his and the necklace will be a pearl longer.
He feels like he needs to pace up and down a mountain. Like he needs to strip this seaweed-esque suit off and jump into the ocean to feel free of constriction. Clothes are always so…unique. That’s the word he chooses to use. Another symptom, he’s certain, because clothes are to humans as colors are to merfolk. Humans attract each other with fashion styles just as mers flash colors and patterns at those they intend to charm.
“Everyone,” Floyd echoes, grinning to ease the tension. “C’mon. You know everything’s gonna be fine.”
Logically, Jade is aware of that. There were rehearsals and lists and triple-checks. Everything is in order. He’s ready. You’re ready. Illogically, he thinks he’s about to shake out of his skin from either excitement or anxiety or a combination of both.
Floyd’s hand comes down upon his shoulder. He relaxes beneath the squeeze. “You got this.”
“I do,” he whispers, turning away from the mirror with a smile.
He waits for you at the altar. A feeling he knows well enough claws at the back of his eyes. It’s been steadily encroaching since this morning, or perhaps it’s always been there ever since he first met you.
When he sees you, his world comes together and everything is warm and wonderful. There are tears on his face, tracking down his cheeks in hot streaks. It’s not embarrassing even though, somewhat flustered, he mouths to his parents that he’s simply sweating from the eyes. A symptom they’ll soon experience in their temporary human bodies.
Out of every human symptom he’s experienced, he thinks this one is his favorite.
You meet him at the front, and beneath an awning of the prettiest flowers you join hands.
“How do you feel?” you murmur, your thumbs running over his palms.
He’s going to say he feels like his world is brighter and wrapped in silk—like he’s looking love right in the face.
Through his tears, he smiles and says, “Like my eyes are working properly today.”
You giggle around a rising sob. Happy tears, he notes, much like the ones sticking to his face. “Weird. Because mine don’t seem to be working today.”
“A shame. You can’t see how beautiful you are.”
“I trust you.”
“I can’t promise mine won’t sweat halfway through the ceremony, but I appreciate your faith in me.”
“It’s fine. Mine are already doing that.”
And it’s everything to him—you, this union, the tears, these messy, complex symptoms of being human. Everything.
Jade thinks he’d like to rewrite that old quote from his childhood.
But a mermaid has no tears and so that may be true in storybook blue, but it is her heart that weeps for everything she has experienced, is experiencing, and will experience; the good and the bad, the happy and the sad.
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recallsdirect · 1 month ago
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Food Recall: Organico Realfoods Organic Alla Norma Sauce:
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rookie-love-7a19 · 4 months ago
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Could Get Messy
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Summary: A close call makes Tim and Y/N reevaluate things.
Pairing: Tim Bradford x Y/N
Warning: Explicit. Smut. Vaginal fingering. Protected PinV sex. Slight implied age gap. Slight power imbalance. (Tim is the reader's T.O. But there are no dom/sub leanings in this fic. Maybe another time. 😉 No use of coercion or anything similar.) Bit of angst. Fluff.
Word Count: 3,050
A/N: Okay, so this is the very first fic I'm writing for the Rookie, and therefore, also my first fic I'm writing for Tim Bradford. Be gentle. 😁 At some point, if I get enough interest, I'll start a tag list and a Master List for Rookie fics. But for now, I'm just kind of seeing what the interest is like. 😊 Hope you enjoy!
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The noisy cacophony of the Mid-Wilshire station was muted as Y/N wandered down the hallway away from the buzz of the bullpen. As she’d changed out of her uniform and showered, she’d thought and thought about what she might say to Tim. She couldn’t imagine what he was going through right now, and never wanted to find out. 
She approached the room where he sat quietly, his back ramrod straight, arms crossed over his chest. His blue eyes stared intensely at the opposite wall, obviously not taking in anything in front of him. She knocked gently on the doorframe, not wanting to startle him, but he simply turned his head slowly to look at her.
“Hi.” She said as she moved into the room. “I thought I’d check in before I left. Do you need anything?”
His jaw clenched and he shook his head. “No. I’m fine. Just waiting for Sergeant Elias.”
Y/N nodded, cringing internally at the name of the IA officer who was known for his hard questions and cold demeanor. “Well, I’m sure everything will be fine. It was a clean shoot, Tim. You did everything right. That’s what I put in my reports.” She hesitated. “You saved my life.”
He stared at her without blinking. “Yeah.” He said quietly. 
Y/N opened her mouth to say more, though what that was going to be, she wasn’t sure. What could she say? Thank you? I’m sorry? I know it’s tearing you apart that you ended the life of a nineteen year old kid. You had no other choice. If you didn’t take the shot, I’d be dead. 
Maybe she would have said all of that, or maybe none of it, but before she had the chance to decide, Nolan walked in. He paused, looking back and forth between them. His voice was steady and reassuring, the way it always was during a crisis. 
“Hey Tim, I’m here as your Union rep, the Sergeant is right behind me. Y/N you can’t be here.”
She nodded. “Yeah, of course.” She turned back to Tim. “I’ll see you. Let…let me know if you need anything.”
Tim nodded once, brusquely, and she turned to leave, but the door was suddenly blocked by Sergeant Elias and Sergeant Grey. She felt slightly cowed by the two very large men that outranked her so completely. But she raised her chin as Sergeant Elias turned his cold gray stare in her direction.
“Officer Y/L/N, is there a reason you’re in here conferring with your T.O?”
Y/N shook her head. “I wasn’t conferring, sir. Just offering him my support and thanking him for saving my life. You know, the shooter was point blank range from my face and his finger was on the trigger. If Sergeant Bradford hadn’t taken the shot, you’d all be scraping my brains from that warehouse wall.”
Out of the corner of her eye she could see Nolan wince at her harsh visual, and Sergeant Grey was scowling. Sergeant Elias gave a grim, humorless smile. 
“Thank you for that dramatic replay of the day’s events, Officer. Am I right in assuming you’ve already given your statement?”
Y/N nodded and the Sergeant dropped his fake smile. “Then we don’t need to hear them again. You are dismissed.”
Both Sergeants moved out of the doorway and Y/N beat a quick retreat past them and out of the building.
***
Later that night Y/N sat in front of her TV, not actually ingesting any of the news that was on the screen. Today was the closest she’d ever come to being dead, and she was having a hard time getting over it. She supposed it was probably not something a person just “got over” and she shouldn’t try. She’d been ordered to see the police psychiatrist, and she’d make the most of those meetings to try and work through it.
She was more worried about Tim and whether he’d be cleared of the shooting. Her mind kept alternating back and forth. One minute she was sure he'd be cleared (how could he not?) and the next she was terrified he wouldn’t be. 
But no, she shook her head again, he’d done everything right, Grey would have his back and so would Nolan. That had to count for something.
As she lay there on the couch, with her thoughts swinging wildly back and forth, there was a sudden pounding on her door. She jumped up and ran to it; when she yanked it open, Tim was on the other side.
“What the hell, Boot, did you even look to see who it was? What if I was a serial killer?” He asked immediately, with his scowl firmly in place.
Y/N rolled her eyes. “Well, you’re not. What are you doing here? How did everything go? Have they cleared you?”
Tim shook his head. “No, not yet. They finished their questioning and sent me home. I should hear by tomorrow. And I’m still not finished reprimanding you for opening your door before you were sure it was safe to do so.”
Slight annoyance flared in Y/N’s belly. “We’re not on duty, so you're not my T.O. right now. You can’t reprimand me for how I behave in my own home.”
Tim’s scowl got deeper. “First of all, I’m always your T.O. and second, I’m warning you that what you just did was dangerous. What was the point of saving your life today if you’re just gonna be stupid and throw it away the first chance you get?”
Y/N felt her annoyance dissolving, as she saw the flicker of fear and sadness enter Tim’s soft blue gaze. 
She nodded. “You’re right, sir. I’m sorry. I usually check, my mind was just….elsewhere.”
Tim exhaled deeply and Y/N realized they were still standing in the open doorway. She stepped back. “Come in.”
He stepped through into her living room, and she closed the door behind him. He was out of uniform, wearing black jeans and a dark blue t-shirt under a white hoodie. 
It was the first time he’d been in her house, and the informal nature of everything, both of them out of uniform, the soft, warm lighting of her living room, the lack of radio chatter and traffic noise in the background, was amplifying the strong pull that had existed between them since day one. 
Her fellow rookies had teased her for ending up with the legendary Tim Bradford as her Training Officer. He was renowned for being an exemplary T.O., but also for being very hard on his rookies and not giving an inch. 
But she’d been just fine with that; she’d rather be trained by someone who was hard on her but didn’t miss anything, than be trained by someone who went easy on her and left her feeling unprepared. Being a cop was a tough calling, and if she wasn’t up to it, she’d rather she find out quickly.
No, his training methods hadn’t been the problem. The problem had been the immediate attraction she’d felt to him. It wasn’t that strange she supposed - the man was gorgeous, sexy as hell, and a damn good cop - she was sure she was hardly the only woman at Mid-Wilshire who had those kinds of feelings towards him. 
But she was the only one who had to ride next to him all day, every day. She was the only one who fought alongside him, constantly watching him risk his life to keep the city safe. It was a daily struggle to keep her distance from him, to not just lean forwards sometimes and press her lips to his. His smiles were rare, but they filled her with sunshine when they actually appeared and made her want to wrap her arms around him.
She knew she was fully in love with her T.O. which was definitely a problem. 
And now, here he was, out of uniform, in her living room, looking at her in a way that had her stomach turning somersaults.
His gaze was heated and possessive. She couldn't hold it very long, glancing down at her carpet and swallowing convulsively. The silence was thick with tension and Y/N was wringing her hands.
She looked towards her little kitchen, lifting a hand in that direction. “Do you want a, uh, a coffee or something? A beer?”
“No.” Tim said roughly and his tone brought her eyes back to him. He stepped a little closer. “You said to tell you if I needed anything.”
Y/N nodded and cleared her throat. “Yeah, of course. What do you need?”
Tim's jaw clenched tightly before he reached out to cup her cheeks in both hands. 
“This.” 
His mouth landed on hers softly, just sipping at her lips. A sound escaped the back of her throat, half surprise, half need. Tim groaned and tightened his grip. 
His tongue reached out to press gently against her lips and she happily opened up for him, melting against his hard body and gripping the edges of his open hoodie.
He swept inside, deepening the kiss, and making a shiver run from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. His hands slipped down over her shoulders, dropping to her waist and squeezing into her flesh there.
He slanted his mouth over hers again and again, swallowing down all of her little mewls of need. He backed her up slowly until she was pressed against her living room wall. 
He pushed his knee between her legs, before pinning her lower body to the wall with his hips. He pulled away from her mouth and both of them were left panting. 
Y/N opened her eyes, and was immediately and completely lost in the ferocious desire stamped across his features. He lifted a hand to run his thumb across her kiss-swollen lips. 
“I’m sorry, Y/N, I shouldn't be here, we shouldn't be doing this.” She saw the doubt slip into his gaze and she shook her head, denying it. 
He sighed and dropped his forehead to hers. “But I was a millisecond away from losing you today.” He closed his eyes and then buried his face in the hair that fell over her shoulder. “I can't fucking lose you.”
Y/N felt tears prick the backs of her eyes. She pushed her hands under his hoodie, so she could wrap her arms around him tightly.
“You didn't though. You didn't lose me.” She pressed light kisses along the strong column of his neck. “You won't lose me.”
He nodded and pulled back a little, catching her gaze. She was happy to see the doubt receding and the heat increasing.
“I can go, if you want.” He whispered as he tilted his head, and his mouth attached to her pulse point. 
She shook her head vehemently and pushed the hoodie from his shoulders. “Don't you dare.”
He slipped his hands up under her shirt and over her ribcage, before sighing. “This could get messy, you know. We're breaking about a hundred rules here.” His thumbs brushed against the underside of her breasts. “We should take a step back. Reassess.”
Even as he said it, he pressed his hips more firmly into her and she could feel the hard length of him against her inner thigh. His mouth trailed hot and wet over her collarbone. 
“Yeah,” she whispered absently, “yeah, reassess. Good.” 
She pulled his t-shirt up over his head, biting her lip as she finally got her hands on his warm, taut skin. She ran her fingertips down over his stomach, making the muscles tighten beneath her touch. She groaned as she looked at him, letting her fingers seek out and trail over the small scars that marred his otherwise perfect torso. 
He reached for her belt and Y/N let her head thump back against the wall. He unbuckled it and unzipped her jeans. He lifted one hand to cup her breast through her bra, while his other slipped into her jeans and past her panties. 
His long middle finger slipped between her folds to gently brush against her clit. Y/N gasped and gripped his wrist as he groaned. 
“Fuck, baby, you're so soaked. Is this all for me?”
She nodded erratically. “All, always for you.” She moaned.
He pushed her bra up and out of the way so he could dip his head and suck one of her pebbled nipples into his mouth, making her cry out. 
“Tim, oh god!” 
She buried her fingers in his hair, keeping him pressed against her. His tongue flicked across the aching bud quickly, before letting his teeth nip and pull on it. 
He let his thumb take over the sharp circles on her clit as his forefinger and middle finger slid through her slick to sink deep into her body, curling just right to press against her sweet spot. 
Her hips thrust forward and she bit into his shoulder to keep from screaming. The bite brought out a harsh groan from Tim and seemed to rip away the last bit of his remaining hesitancy.
He quickly pulled his hand away from her so that he could push down her jeans, and panties. She kicked them off while he pulled her t-shirt and bra off.
She fiddled with his belt buckle, becoming increasingly frustrated when she couldn't get it open. Finally he just playfully slapped her hands aside to do it for her. 
When his belt and zipper were open, she pushed his jeans down, cupping him through his underwear, and biting her lip at the size of him. He hooked his thumbs into the elastic waistband and pushed them over his hips. 
Y/N felt her mouth water at the sight of his huge cock resting against his stomach. She tentatively reached out and wrapped her hand around him. He was so silky and warm, and hard as a rock. 
“Damn, Y/N, you have no idea how often I've imagined this exact scenario.”
He lifted her easily and she wrapped her legs around his waist. 
“Bedroom?” He croaked out and she nodded, pointing towards the room.
He slammed his mouth down on hers as he carried her into her room, sucking the air from her lungs and leaving them both disoriented. As he walked further into the room, he bumped into the bed and sent them both toppling down onto it. 
Laughter erupted from both of them, which slowly turned back into gentle kisses. Tim pulled them both more fully onto the bed, kissing up and down Y/N’s neck and throat. When they were fully settled, and Y/N's body was covered head to toe with his, he pulled back slightly to stare down at her. 
“I don't know what's gonna come tomorrow, and maybe I'm being a selfish ass by being here, by lying here with you.”
Y/N shook her head and opened her mouth to deny it, but he pressed a finger to her lips. 
“But as long as you want me here, I can't make myself leave. I told you I've dreamed of this, imagined you like this a thousand times.” He shook his head. “But that's a lie, cause nothing I've imagined could ever have compared to this.”
He kissed her slowly and deeply, stamping her as his alone. He pulled back to kiss along her jaw and whisper in her ear. “Do you have condoms nearby? I don't really wanna make a run to CVS right now.”
She giggled, punch drunk on him. “Top drawer.”
He nodded and pulled it open. He found one of the foil packets and ripped it open with his teeth before rolling it down his length.
Then he took himself in one hand and slid his smooth, thick cock through her slick before slowly sinking into her with a harsh groan.
“God, baby, you're so fucking perfect. So tight and slick and warm. Never could have imagined this kind of perfect.” He reiterated.
Y/N pushed her head back into the pillows and pressed her nails into his shoulder blades as she arched into him. He began to move inside her, slowly pushing in and out, giving her time to adjust to him, but going slightly deeper with every gentle thrust. 
But she was desperate for more. “Tim, oh god, please, I need you harder, faster.” She begged.
He grunted his capitulation and began to rocket his hips into her, their bodies slapping together. She met his every thrust eagerly, always desperate for more of him, to feel him sink ever deeper into her. 
She wrapped her legs around his hips, trying to press him into her like a brand. She wanted to tattoo his fingerprints onto her skin, so she'd never lose the feeling of him gripping her so tight.
“I'm so close.” She whispered into his ear as he buried his face in her neck. 
“I know baby, me too.” He groaned. 
His hips increased their pace, the head of his cock dragging over her sweet spot again and again until the coil in her belly finally sprung free and she shouted her release. Tim's hips faltered slightly as her clenching heat sent him over as well. 
They laid still for a long time, sweat glistening, breaths panting and hot against each other's skin. 
Finally Tim rolled off of her, pulling the condom off and tossing it in the waste basket beside the bed. He got up and wandered into her ensuite, coming back with a warm cloth that he used to clean her up. When he was finished, he threw the cloth in the hamper and came back to lay beside her. 
He stretched out on his side and pulled her back against his chest. He tucked the blanket around them and rested his chin on the crown of her head. His arm was like a warm, iron band around her waist, keeping her close and safe.
He spoke softly, repeating his warning from earlier. “Things might get messy tomorrow, baby. But whatever happens…I'll never regret this.” He paused a beat and when he spoke, his voice was hesitant. “You?”
Y/N shook her head as she snuggled herself more deeply into his arms. “No, never.” 
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liulang-yishujia · 10 months ago
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! SPOILER WARNING FOR 2.5 UPDATE! READ WITH CAUTION ! summary: the yaoqing trio returns back to the yaoqing, though things are a little different, being an alchemist in the alchemy commission, you receive the instructions and diagnosis from the cauldron master of the luofu, lingsha, about jiaoqiu's condition and what needs to be prepared for him and his treatment plan. despite being someone who worked a few times with the healer, you find yourself assigning treatments to him for once, despite his stubbornness and negligence when it came to his own health. pairing: jiaoqiu x alchemist!foxian!reader (afab) warnings: slight gore, injury descriptions word count: 3.4k a/n: how are we feeling jiaoqiu fans? a mess? :,) me too <3 so we need some comfort yes <3 the idea is based on an idea oc that was an alchemist and as the xianzhou yaoqing is mostly foxians, it makes sense right? hope you enjoy it <3 sorry for the medicinal rambling too! sorry if this may seem ooc, I feel so rusty with writing these days... ^^; I plan to write some proper fluff, I apologise this isn't lovey dovey, if anyone has suggestions please send them please support me by following or sharing! it's much appreciated! <3 twitter/x: @derniermystere ao3: Dernier_Mystere
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The diagnosis was almost painful to read, you knew the trio was reckless, and a part of you thought it would be the Merlin’s Claw that would come back with the injuries, not Jiaoqiu. Even Moze who lingered in the shadow of the General had his incident report of injuries, most of the events that had occurred on the Luofu remained on the hush, so unfortunately, it left you and numerous other healers in great distress when the commission received the outpatient details and care instructions for the pink-haired foxian. Toxins in the wounds have caused surrounding flesh to decay and atrophy… acute shock from severe blood loss…? Disturbed blood circulation from Tumbledust results in disturbed blood circulation, massive internal bleeding, neurological atrophy and optic neuropathy, leading to… blindness. These were just a few lines written in his injury reports, you felt your eyelids flicker in concern at the words, each description made your lips crease further into a frown, your heart wavering as you could only imagine the pain he would’ve struggled with in that short period, not only ingesting a lethal amount of Tumbleweed but also baring the injuries sustained by the Borisin Warhead, Hoolay. Not to mention there were found traces of Lupotoxin still present in his bloodstream, in short, he danced on the thin line between life and death, a second too late, and he would have died an agonising death.
As you sat in the cool room of your examination office, the rhythmic ticker a counterpoint to the steady hum of the medical equipment in the room still trying to convince yourself how Jiaoqiu remained in such good spirits, and oddly with a good appetite despite his situation… his calmness and sly exterior made you fear the worse, after all, he hid a lot of his emotions, using his fox-like smile as a mask to pretend all was fine, even if inside he could have been begging for a semblance of hope. Your e/c gaze flickered up to the Foxian who hummed softly, sitting on the examination table with a Gaiwan* in his hands, as he curiously took in a whiff of the scent of the tea, swirling it occasionally in his hand as he tried to depict what herbs were in it. “Not much to say honestly, I feel quite fine besides the fact, I have been told not to eat spicy food… it’s truly a torturous treatment,” his voice was calm, yet the mention of not being allowed to eat his favourite food made him click his tongue, one of his long ears flicking in annoyance, “But, other than that, I am quite alright,” 
Your eyes squinted as you observed him talking to the pot plant in the corner of your examination room while you were seated on the other side of him, yet… you felt your insides soften that, he was still adjusting to his new condition after all. “Master Jiaoqiu, you know ingesting amounts of spicy food will only increase inflammation of your wounds.” You spoke softly, choosing not to comment further that he was talking to the plant rather than yourself. Jiaoqiu’s ears flicked in your direction rapidly, as he quickly adjusted himself to face the direction your voice came from, acting as if he knew the whole time you were seated there, it made you softly giggle in amusement as you slowly lit a stick of Dreambranch Incense in the office, in hopes of providing calmness to the mind during his routine follow up examination.  
“You always say you’re quite alright to avoid unnecessary long appointments, who dropped you off today? Was it the Merlin’s Claw or Moze?” You teased, prepping the small station beside him with all the necessary tools and treatment needs. Jiaoqiu’s tail flicked in annoyance as he crossed his arms, followed by a tiny pout on his lips, “I will have you know, no one dropped me off, Thank you.” His tone was almost childish and petty, “I came as instructed by the Cauldron Master of the Luofu, nothing more than a routine check-up.” He clarified, yet the creases in his brows seemed to convince you further that someone made him actually arrive at his scheduled appointment. “For a healer, Master Jiaoqiu… you should always look after yourself before treating others.” You commented, your fluffy tail swaying behind you in amusement as you spoke, enjoying the small amount of petty banter with the Foxian healer who had left the field a while ago now. Being a long-life species, a mere few years seemed to fly by in the blink of an eye, but when one formed friendships or any kind of relationship when they left or moved on, it felt as if they had left for centuries, this was no different to Jiaoqiu. His sassy nature and his usual greeting with a cunning smile were oddly something you missed, but deep down, you knew the losses on the battlefield tore and ate away at his heart, leaving nothing but emptiness, a path of Nihility to creep in. Some days, you found yourself sitting on the stairs of the commission, looking at the fake night sky of the Yaoqing, wondering if your research and treatments meant really nothing in the end. Countless patients slipped between your fingers like sand, no matter how hard you tried to grab the delicate granules, it would still slip through. The many nights where you prayed to Lan or any aeon to hear your pleas and silent begs to help a young patient that was slowly succumbing to the effects of Mara, the way their limbs twisted un-naturally, root-like appendages growing from his body like a deformity as they slowly lost their mind day-by-day, yet none of them cast their gaze on you or your pleads… they always replied in a numbing silence. You felt his pain… you sympathised with his feelings for those who were lost in battle… You could treat a thousand patients, but what was the point if they returned to the battlefield and lost their lives in the end… was their sacrifice in vain? These were the many questions that went through your mind on a daily, and something you assumed most alchemists thought. 
Your eyes fluttered closed as you shook your head to dismiss the darkening thoughts, you forced yourself to read over the letter submitted by Lingsha. As written in his treatment plan, you were to clean his wounds with Pathovore bugs, before applying liberal amounts of medication and dress them up firmly. As well as take a deeper examination of his blindness and relay any suggestions to her for possible treatments of his blindness. “Well, I know you want this to be done quickly, so I will start with the treatment of the wounds, Master Jiaoqiu, then if possible, I would like to examine your eyes…?” You asked hesitantly, your h/c ears pinning back against your head as you cautiously asked him, you honestly didn’t know why you were nervous, it was your job… but he had only recently just lost his vision, was it a touchy subject? Or maybe would flat-out refuse and say it was nothing.  
Jiaoqiu simply remained silent as he continued to hold on to the delicate clay cup, he gave the tea one last sip before he gently pressed the edge of his hand along the surface of the table to confirm he could safely place his cup upon it, “Why are you concerned, Y/N? it’s your job after all. Do what you need. For once, I am simply the patient, and you’re my healer now, are you not?” He spoke up, turning to face in your direction, though you could hear the slight hesitation laced in the last few syllables of his words but you slowly nodded in reply, not that he could see it. 
The initial examination was rather simple, you had to look over his wounds, the deep lacerations on his chest, the state of his collarbone, checking him for any signs of Lycanthropic symptoms which came in the forms of excessive hair growth, elongation of the canine teeth, hostility (namely to Foxians) and a heightened increase of Lupitoxin which are evident in a blood rage. Further examination of his red blood cell, Platelets and the protein count in his plasma, to gauge how well his blood would coagulate over time, while the effects of consuming Tumbledust has significantly lowered the count, he was slowly making progress as there were some improvements. While it wasn’t much, it was better than none… 
“So far, you seem to be on the road of recovering… slow, but I am sure we can get there eventually, there has been a minimal increase in your plasma counts, and platelets, but not much to say you can return to handling sharp objects… I am hoping you’re not, Master Jiaoqiu, and you have no signs of Lycanthropy so that rules out any further conclusion of you becoming a borisin.” You explained, all while scribbling on his patient forms that would be sent back to Cauldron master Lingsha, and further approval by Head Alchemist on the Yaoqing, Yingyue. “With this, I would like you to be placed on a higher dose of anti-inflammatories, to help reduce the swelling in your wounds. That, or need I remind you that you are not to ingest spicy foods, Master Jiaoqiu.” You slowly raised a brow at him as he turned to you, pulling out his fan that was underneath his alchemy commission uniform that he had removed so you could treat his injuries. He delicately fanned himself a few times, before hiding his lips behind the coloured feathers. 
“I would never betray the doctors’ words, no knives or spicy food here. Are you insinuating that your patient ingested spicy foods? Y/N you wound me… I would never,” He stated with a cunning smile pulling at his lips behind that fan, his tail swaying behind him as he took in the results of his examination. “But is it really my fault that Moze had hotpot, I couldn’t turn down such a request, even Feixiao was there.” He soon added, nodding his head innocently as his ears twitched in your direction. 
“So you did have Spicy food, is that what you're telling me?” You pressed, raising a brow as he kept fanning himself, concealing his smile. 
“I never said that, I just said that Moze might have offered it to me. But as such a good patient, I never touched a drop. I instead had to sit and watch my so-called friends enjoy a hotpot in front of me, it was quite cruel, really…” His fluffy ears drooped down, as he dramatically acted as if it had taken a toll on him that he couldn’t have some. Your expression fell into a deadpanned glare as he kept innocently fanning himself, humming all innocently, you knew that this sly foxian had made the hotpot himself and threw the blame at Moze to get off any kind of lecture. You feigned a sigh in defeat as you allowed him to win at his little game, “Alright, whatever the patient says… but know your slight increase of white blood cells, and redness on your laceration tells me otherwise,” You simply pointed out as you began working on removing the now loosened bandages around his shoulders and chest, you had seen your fair share of injuries and wounds, but the deep claw marks along his chest with lingering parts of decaying flesh seemed to leave a deep pang in your heart… reading about his injuries were bad enough, but seeing them in person was just as bad. 
The audacity he had as he simply hummed in reply and with a nonchalant shrug, “I have no idea what you’re insinuating here, doctor,” He added, placing his fan down to reveal that sly fox-like grin, as he lifted his head proudly, more so that you could work on his wounds better. But upon sensing your concern with his wounds, Jiaoqiu slowly fell into silence as he turned away, “This is nothing. I can handle this, there is no need to look at me with… pity.” 
You felt an all-familiar annoyance stir inside you as if small flicking flames lapped at the insides of your chest as your movements slowed down, “It isn’t pity… it was concern Jiaoqiu when the incident reports were handed to us, it was worrying… especially when there was no news or context from the Luofu. I knew something was covered up, and it involved Hoolay, something for sure went wrong… it may not be my place to ask what happened, but… You shouldn’t bare yourself to a wolf's fangs… and ingest Tumbleweed… even if you had a plan.” you whispered, gripping the bundle of bandages in your hands that you had removed, “You could have died, then what-” 
“I would have died fulfilled and content, Y/N.” He cut her off, a heavy sigh ruminating from his chest as he still refused to face you entirely, his brow furrowing in annoyance as he refused to accept your concern for him. 
“Would you really say that?” You pressed, your shoulders slouching as you continued to remove the last of the bandages to fully observe the wound in its entirety. Yet unlike before, you weren’t phased, instead, your heart simply felt like it was crumbling at his words. However, Jiaoqiu remained silent when you pressed him, his ears folding back a tad, it was a sign that you were right in some way. Despite the deafening silence, you continued to work on him, applying the Pathovore Bugs onto the rotting parts of his wounds, all while she delicately ran her scalpel over the unhealthy flesh to promote excess skin growth. Jiaoqiu grunted softly, leaning back onto his arms as he tried to push himself through the uncomfortable sensation, he didn’t want to be seen as weak or vulnerable, even though he was the one knocking on death's door. Yet his stubbornness to admit anything or the fact that for once he required treatment was unyielding, even when he was in pain. 
The silence continued to hover between them, once playful banter turned to a darkened cloud of tension, but, Jiaoqiu managed to face Y/N once more, parting his lips as he tried to find the words to say something, “Why do you care so much. Don’t they say laying your life out on the path of the hunt is a blessing…?” He managed to whisper out, his voice almost weak and one could even say vulnerable. Y/N glanced up, but unlike the look of annoyance or a frown, she offered him a compassionate gaze, “We are both healers, different kinds sure, but in the end, we are here to help those in need. I know you have lost many patients, as have I… I may not have been through or seen what you have on the Front Lines… but we share the same burdens of what we do is the right thing…” Your voice was soft, yet anyone could hear the way your words seemed to break through the ragged breaths you took in as you tried to formulate each word with sincerity, “But… we… no, you shouldn’t allow yourself to go through such measures… General Feixiao is already strong on her own, and your patient can only go as far as they can if their healer is also healthy, I have seen too many people die over nothing to claim they did so in the name of The Hunt… but it felt like they were throwing themselves away.” 
You gently removed the bugs, placing them in a glass beaker as you kept talking, “As I said… I don’t know what happened on the Luofu… but I know, you shouldn’t have risked yourself at such a high stake. There is always an alternative, another way to do things, picking the dangerous path isn’t always the right way.” You whispered, head now falling downwards as your ears drooped once more. You had seen so many soldiers come back from the battlefields injured and proclaiming proudly that if they died, they did so for The Aeon Lan, but, it more so felt like they were throwing themselves at the denizens of Abundance without another thought of a better strategy. Y/N slowly bit on her bottom lip as she continued with the treatment by applying liberal amounts of the ointment onto his wounds, before securely wrapping them up in bandages. 
During the quiet moment as Y/N worked, Jiaoqiu found himself sighing once more, shaking his head as his expression softened slightly to that of contentment. “You might have been right, I could have found another way… but I made it, did I not?” He replied in a lighter tone, even if you swatted his side with the flick of your fluffy tail, “You’re just as reckless as the Merlin’s Claw, she is rubbing off on you. You know… there would be a lot of people upset if you had died… I am sure even Moze would be upset in his way… you may have been fulfilled as you say, but what about the others that care for you?” you added, making sure that each one of his wounds was fully covered, before you soon sat back in your chair, your mind also wanted to add ‘what about me?’ yet, you didn’t. The Foxian offered you a sad smile, as he turned to the direction of the pot plant, “You’re not wrong, Y/N.” He reluctantly whispered, his voice holding a sense of vulnerability yet again, each word spoken like a prayer, with an ear twitch he turned back to you, this time with a more genuine smile.
“I am sure you would have been deeply hurt. To think during your training you said you hated me and my spicy food you could smell from a mile away…” His demeanour shifted to his usual self, sly and jabbing, which seemed to stir you up, evident as your tail swished around in annoyance as you finished up with his wounds, giving him the space he needed to change back into his clothes. “Stop being snarky… you seriously need to take better care of yourself.” You huffed as you turned to clean your instruments, all while he resumed fanning his delicate face once more, his soft pink hair flowing with each motion of his fan as he continued that same mocking smile. “I know. I can’t promise anything.” He hummed, for once he spoke truthfully, “But, I will do my best, I have no guarantees.” 
“That's all I wanted to hear, Jiaoqiu.” Your shoulders eased up and relaxed at his words, her heart feeling ever so lighter. 
“You know, you dropped the formalities halfway, this is quite intimate, Y/N, I am almost flattered, after many years and now you call me by my name and not Master Jiaoqiu,” As usual he tried his best to get under your skin, still calmly fanning himself. He expected you to retaliate or shoot back another snarky comment, yet you did something that surprised him… You gently hugged him, wrapping your arms around his lower torso to avoid touching his wound, as much as he wanted to open his eyes in surprise, the Foxian instead felt his expression melt into a soft fondness, one that wasn’t all that often seen. “You were that worried?” He finally admitted, moving one of his hands to delicately brush against your back soothingly. 
“Just promise me you will be more careful next time,” you whispered faintly, near one of his long ears that twitched at your words, his tail swaying side-to-side. 
“I can’t guarantee anything… but, if I get hugged like this, I might consider it.” He purred, still fanning the two of you with his fan, blissfully unaware of the edge of the fan catching a lit with the sizzling of fire lapping at the tips. Jiaoqiu quickly moved the fan to stop the fire from continuing with a silent huff of annoyance, “Maybe we could even go for some hotpot sometime?” 
You wanted to say he wasn’t allowed spicy food, but you were content from his words, you simply hoped that one day, he would take your words to heart, if not for your own sake, but maybe for those that were close to him…
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d8tl55c · 8 months ago
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physeng(write, file, "tco_physeng_breakdown.png");
to:compiler {file}
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to:compiler {txt: "Internet and Outernet are full of StickFigures with similar body plans, so there are optimizations for rendering vector strokes specifically. it's way more efficient to use those optimizations than keep calculating perfect spheres for no aesthetic benefit."}
{txt: "btw why haven't heat issues been patched yet"}
{txt: "i fixed this years ago for the latest model. remember."}
from:compiler {txt: "Thank you. The avast! nodes will appreciate the credits. TheChosenOne.exe has been unreachable for some time."}
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to:compiler {txt: "you mean OuternetPhysEng still won't update their programs"}
from:compiler {txt: "Yes."}
to:compiler {txt: "and still won't provide a specific location?"}
from:compiler {txt: "Do not allow them to bring up the moral argument again."}
to:compiler {txt: "OK. fine. yes. i will spare both of us"}
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to:compiler {txt: "abridged or full docs?"}
from:compiler {txt: "Abridged. Please describe the acronyms."}
to:compiler {txt: "ofc"}
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{txt: "
sel.per.filter: standard StickFigure component (src)*****. invisible membrane with special collision properties. protects mouthparts.
H2O scoop: avast! code. implements water retrieval from ambient air.
EIS: avast! code. destroys ingested materials identified as, "dangerous" before they reach internal systems.
SOS: avast! code. they only said this one was, "used for control."
ECL: avast! code. recycles some forms of contact energy.
THROUGHLINE: base code, initialization data, and processing space for vitals. found in some form in all StickFigure-type worms. following unique sectors noted: Black Hole Monitoring System, Basic Intake Threat Enum, Fly By Wire.
smaller points list other vital and peripheral systems.
"}
from:compiler {txt: "Thank you. That's enough."}
end(physeng());
@compressedrage as per my previous email /silly
related: pliable stick figure biotech
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hellothisisangle · 2 months ago
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This idea came from someone asking me about V’s internal organs and gastro/intestinal workings. I delved into a bit of bio/mechanical research that might make sense in the Cyberpunk world. Follow the jump below!
SomaTek specializes in manufacturing synthetic organs designed to transcend our organic limitations.
SomaTek GastroPro™
In a world ravaged by toxic food chains, tainted water supplies, and unreliable agriculture, the GastroPro™ synthetic stomach- amply nicknamed “the iron gut”- is a feat of mechanical organ replacement. Capable of digesting virtually any hazardous or non-nutritive substance without harm, while mimicking and surpassing the core functions of a natural biological system.
The GastroPro™ environment utilizes a stabilized industrial-grade acidic solution (SomaTek’s trademarked confidential blend of fluorinated superacids exceeds the hydrochloric acid and pepsin present in an organic stomach) that is non-corrosive to internal components due to reactive smart hydrogel linings. This acid bath breaks down everything: from your home cooked dinner, to food past its expiration, to actual garbage- designed to adapt to a full range of ingested toxicity. After processing, the liquified matter proceeds to a secondary chamber which is programmed with enzymatic nano filters to separate and neutralize indigestible items versus actual processable materials. *Note that the GastroPro™ is incapable of operating in isolation. The following organic systems are required to be enhanced or replaced:
Esophagus (GastroLine™) is equipped with reinforced smart hydrogel lining to withstand both caustic substances and abrasive matter. Peristaltic actuators move matter regardless of shape or size, while micro-blade emulsifiers begin compacting particularly dense or fibrous materials. Anti-reflux valves prevent acid from backing up.
Liver, Pancreas, Gall Bladder (GastroTox™ Subsystem) further supports the GastroPro™ by processing even rarer or complex toxins, capable of converting them into an array of energy for the body dependent on specific inputs. For example: chemical, electrical, first and second generation biofuel, etc. (Optional but highly recommended)
Intestines & Appendix (GastroTract™) serves as the primary absorption and release unit. Lined with nutrient-binding nanites to extract usable calories, vitamins, minerals, or chemicals. Absorption channels direct these throughout the body via embedded villi structures to the bloodstream and lymphatic system. In users with further modifications, waste may be redirected to a bypass port location of their choosing. The most popular choice being via a urinary tract.
Oral Cavity (OraPro™ Subsystem) is a customizable sum of parts that further supports the GastroPro™ with an artificial tongue embedded with gustatory receptors, reinforced cheek/gum lining, and teeth strong as chrome. (Optional but highly recommended)
Brain Chemistry (CraveShard™) the neural implant designed to be installed into the cyberdeck to simulate, regulate, or even suppress cravings. (Optional but highly recommended) The user may override urges based on their schedule and preferences, as well as control serotonin and dopamine feedback. The implant works harmoniously with receptors built into the GastroPro™ to recognize the identity of consumed materials. It can even reproduce the effects caused by ingested alcohol, hallucinogenics, opioids, narcotics, etc.
Advantages over natural digestion include immunity to internal poisoning, pathogens, parasites, and contaminants. Zero indigestion, zero allergic reaction. Accelerated enzyme breakdown. And multi-source nutrition: users can derive sustenance from otherwise indigestible materials.
Please be aware the GastroPro™ is not without its complications. Over-reliance can result in malabsorption issues if the user abuses the capabilities of the GastroPro™. Care should be taken to continuously ingest products with beneficial properties. In the event of nutrient deficits, the user’s deck will receive periodic warnings regarding nutritional supplementation to prevent systemic decline. Psychosomatic disorders may also emerge as a result of losing sensory pleasure of consumption (“digestion dissonance'”- disconnect with satiety) if the recommended OraPro™ Subsystem and CraveShard™ are not installed.
Regular care encompasses monthly detox flushes, filter replacements, nanite reseeding, and pH rebalancing treatments. All of which can be accomplished via a doctor licensed to administer Somatek devices.
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sheepispink · 6 months ago
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୨✧୧˚ ACTING DIFFERENT ˚୨✧୧
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✧ resident evil masterlist
✧ tags: fluff, reassurance, hurt/comfort, leon kennedy x afab! escort!reader
✧ Summary: You’re an escort for Leon, and you’re pretty confident in your own abilities. Although, it’s pretty funny to see you two together, especially since he looks pretty brooding on an actual job. Despite that, some jealous interns make it their mission to put you down for the way you act with him, calling you selfish and the like. You shift, trying to be ‘better’ but Leon is determined to get the bottom of this.
✧ a/n : technically this is a part of my series ‘the escort protocol’ found here, however it is a standalone too.
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It would’ve been a normal day in the office, that is if you hadn't just walked straight past him whilst he drank the largest coffee cup known to man. He grumbles as you ignore him for the third time that day; he saw you glance at him and then the cup and then still decide to carry on. He lets out a huff as he tosses the cup behind him into the bin before resting his head in his hands; the cup was empty, of course—he just wanted to see you react. That is the exact problem actually, because you haven't reacted to anything he’s done for a whole week now. The first day was already crossing the line, but he figured you were in a bad mood. Then the second day you continued and by the third he started questioning if this was a new symptom of your menstrual cycle. He felt a bit bad if it was (and also for blaming your mood swings on that) so he gave you a chocolate bar randomly. It was your turn to be confused that day because it turned out he just gave you chocolate for nothing and you were in fact not on your period.
All of this started last Friday. He hadn't been at the office on Thursday because quite literally he couldn't be bothered and would rather continue work at home— plus he was feeling a little more tired than usual. Of course you text him, asking if he was okay and offering to drop off food if he was sick, that was before you scolded him upon realising he had been slacking off. When he came in on Friday, he expected a huff of frustration before you made him buy you a coffee but there was nothing except an “Are you feeling better?” and then you were disappearing into your small box desk again. He raised an eyebrow but didn't think much until you walked past him downing a soda and barely said anything. The next day was the same, and then the next and the next until he was fed up. If there was a guiness world record for the most crap ingested in a day, he’d take the gold medal home. He had eaten a burger every lunchtime, had way too many cups of coffee each morning and even munched sweets instead of cereal and you still didn't say anything. The worst part was that you always just stopped, stared before eventually deciding to walk away again.
So today he tried for the last time before he finally gave up. He’s just going to have to ask you head on; there’s no way he’s letting you off the hook this time. He finds you in your usual spot at lunch, munching your sandwich on the park bench near the office. It’s quiet and no one really comes to the park here and whilst he’s never actually joined you before, he knows you come here often.
“Hey.”
You lift your head to meet his, suddenly caught off guard by his presence in the quiet park. “What are you doing here?”
“Y'know—just thought I'd ask if you wanna grab a drink with me?”
“What kind of drink?”
“Uhh… a slushie.”
You pause and then raise an eyebrow at him, confused. He’s sure he’s got you now; there's no way you can turn a blind eye to a slushie at break time. But you do. “Oh um, i’m okay, but if you want to-“
“What the hell is wrong with you?” You blink at him in confusion, shocked as he huffs loudly, breaking the tranquility of your spot, and stands right before you.
“Um, nothing?”
“It’s not nothing! You’ve barely commented on anything I've done all week. I drank soda for a week straight and you barely breathed wrong about it!”
“Shouldn’t you be happy about that? They all said that you would-“ This time he crosses his arms and stares you down and for a moment you’re actually kind of scared of him. You haven't seen him this annoyed since his superior in the DSO joked about blackmailing him with Sherry again.
“I’m sorry— who said what?”
“It’s not a big deal, I was just talking to some people..” But he’s already cutting you off and you know you can't escape the truth when he speaks again.
“If it's not a big deal, then you can tell me right? Go on.”
You let out a long sigh, attempting to make it seem like it's not that serious. His eyes are locked onto you and you have to avert your gaze to stop yourself messing up when you speak. “It was just a passing conversation between me and some interns last Thursday.” You shrug, taking a bite out of your sandwich as you look at the scenery, attempting to act nonchalant about it.
“And? That's not all, I know it isn't.” You groan and shift uncomfortably, letting out another huffed breath. “They just said I keep you in check a lot; I stop you from doing a lot of stuff.”
He’s not buying a second of it though and you don't even have to wait for him to urge you on to know he wants the full story.
“Fine, okay, they said that I was really bossy towards you and that I should let you do what you want.”
“What else? I know you wouldn’t care if a mere intern said that, so what's with the sudden change?” He rolls his eyes, sitting beside you on the bench as you groan and fiddle with the food wrapper in your hand. “They said I'm just an idiot who took the first job she could get and now I'm acting all high and mighty when I have the status of a mere assistant. Apparently you always look annoyed when I “scream at you” for doing anything i dont like and I'm also just an attention seeker or something. I left soon after..” The words are mumbled and he hates the way he can tell you’re ashamed of yourself when you avert your eyes like that and take the last bite of your sandwich.
“You’re such an idiot, yknow? Why on earth would you ever be bossy?” He scoffs, letting his arms settle in his side and he leans back into the bench. You dont reply, and he can't help but feel a gut full of worry for you. “You believe it, don't you?”
“I mean- it’s true a bit, is it not? You’re a higher status than me and I just.. decide what you can and can't do.”
“You do realise if i really had a problem with it, i just wouldn’t listen to you, right?”
“Yeah but- either way, surely I'm still annoying with my constant remarks.”
Your gaze shies away from him again and it causes a pang of guilt knowing you really did take some of their words to heart. He lets out a small sigh and shuffles up beside you, resting an arm on the back of the bench.
“Sometimes I forget that this is technically your first job out of university. You haven't done anything wrong in the slightest, alright? They’re just putting you down because they’re jealous. Just interns, that's all they are. But you’ve got authority and a position here. Hasn't every other staff here been nice to you and respectful? Hey, even the reception lady encouraged you to scold me the other day, didn't she?”
“..I mean yeah, she did and everyone else laughs about it too..” His hand slips down from the bench, patting your shoulder lightly before rubbing at it.
“Exactly, and you don't do it to annoy me do you?” He loves the way your lips curl into a frown at the accusation, horrified he would ever assume that.
“What? No, I only do it because you drink way too much coffee and you end up not sleeping well. Plus you always tend to eat fast food like every lunch, it’s not good for you.”
“So what's the harm done, hm? You’re not trying to be mean, I clearly don't mind it at all either. So stop beating yourself up about it.”
He gives you another quick squeeze as you mumble “okay”, and then finally retracts his arm, Though not before poking your forehead with his finger, intent on cheering you up. “I can't believe you’re actually three years younger than me. You’re so little, you know? I can’t believe you’ve only had one job your entire life.” The way you roll your eyes and stand up has him chuckling at your exasperated expression.
“I know what you’re going to do, don't even try ruffling my hair.”
“Would you prefer I carried you over my shoulder like a kid instead?” He wont forget the glare you gave him, crossing your arms at him and staring him down until he chuckles and stands himself.
“You know you’re not very intimidating, maybe you should try dressing up as a bioweapon— might even scare yourself. Anyway, cmon,” He remarks, picking up your work bag and slinging it on his shoulder before throwing your sandwich wrapper into the nearby bin.
“I think I have to go move some interns to a new state.” He smirks at you when he says it but deep down he’s dead serious; he won't let anyone put that ashamed expression on your face again.
Bonus:
“Hey, you know all those days i saw you eating that junk food, did you actually want to eat all of that?” You tilt your head up at him, almost about to scrunch your face up in disgust. He can't exactly blame you, after all, a burger for lunch every day isn’t appealing in the slightest.
“Well, the coffee was fake.”
“What about the food?”
“…” He’s already anticipating the punch you plant on his arm, huffing in annoyance.
“Leon!”
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bestanimal · 7 months ago
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Round 2 - Chordata - Chondrichthyes
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(Sources - 1, 2, 3, 4)
Chondrichthyes is a class of jawed fish, commonly called “cartilaginous fish” due to their skeletons composed mainly of cartilage, making them distinct from all other vertebrates. They are comprised of the superorders Selachimorpha (“Sharks”), Batoidea (“Rays”), and Holocephalimorpha (“Chimaeras”).
Chondrichthyans breath through gills but lack opercula (gill coverings) and swim bladders. They have paired fins, paired nares (nostrils), and placoid (tooth-shaped) scales (except for electric rays, which have loose, soft skin). These placoid scales, also called dermal denticles, provide protection and streamlining, giving the animal’s skin a sandpaper-y feel. All chondrichthyans breathe through five to seven pairs of gills, depending on the species. As a general rule, pelagic species usually must keep swimming to keep oxygenated water moving through their gills, while demersal species can actively pump water in through their spiracles (a small hole or slit behind each eye) and out through their gills. Most larger, pelagic species no longer have spiracles. Chondrichthyans have many sensory organs to perceive the world around them. Their nostrils are attached to powerful olfactory organs. Around their face are a network of electroreceptors called Ampullae of Lorenzini, which allow them to sense electrical fields. Their lateral line has modified epithelial cells which sense motion, vibration, and pressure in the water around them. However, their sound-detecting apparatus has limited range and is typically more powerful at lower frequencies. Some species have electricity-producing organs which can be used for defense and predation. Chondrichthyans have a diverse array of shapes and sizes, ranging from the 10 cm (3.9 in) long, electric Finless Sleeper Ray (Temera hardwickii) to the over 10 m (33 ft) long Whale Shark (Rhincodon typus). All species are carnivores: some predatory, some ambush-hunters, and some filter-feeders. At least one species is omnivorous. Chondrichthyans have internal fertilization and most species give live birth, while some lay eggs. There is no parental care after birth, though some chondrichthyans do guard their eggs.
Chondrichthyans are considered to have evolved from Acanthodians, which appear from the Early Silurian. The first sharks began to evolve in the Devonian Period, though, while often claimed to be relatively unchanged, modern forms did not start appearing until the Early Jurassic.
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Propaganda under the cut:
Mentioned briefly above, the Bonnethead Shark (Sphyrna tiburo), a small species of hammerhead, is the only shark known to be omnivorous. While it feeds on crustaceans, molluscs, and small fish, it also ingests large amounts of seagrass, which has been found to make up around 62% of gut content mass.
Also mentioned briefly above, Electric Rays (order Torpediniformes) are known for being capable of producing an electric discharge, ranging from 8 to 220 volts, depending on species, used to stun prey and for defense.
There are over 500 different species of sharks, and only a dozen could be considered dangerous to humans. That being said, of those 12, most do not seem to like the taste of human flesh, and bites are usually accidental or exploratory.
Many pelagic chondrichthyans occasionally breach, leaping out of the water. This can be done for hunting purposes, as a mating ritual, to shake off parasites, or even just for fun!
Today, all species of Sawfish (family Pristidae) are critically endangered. However, they were relatively common in the Cretaceous, where they were likely a common food source for Spinosaurus.
(Confusingly, Sawfish are a type of ray while Sawsharks (order Pristiophoriformes) are a type of shark. Sawsharks live in the deep sea and are rarely seen, while sawfish live in coastal and brackish waters.)
Kitefin Sharks (family Dalatiidae) have bioluminescent organs which glow blue in the dark
Chimaeras have a strange pair of teeth in their lower jaw which look like rodent incisors, giving them the common names “ratfish” or “rabbitfish.”
Great White Sharks (Carcharodon carcharias) are regularly hunted by orcas, and when one is confronted by an orca it will generally flee and not return to that area for up to a year.
Manta Rays (genus Mobula) are incredibly smart. They were the first “fish” in the world to pass the “mirror test” (ie show self-awareness by recognizing themselves in a mirror rather than seeing the reflected image as another manta ray). They also have highly-developed long-term memory, form friendships, and play with each other by blowing bubbles and breaching out of the water.
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housemdork · 26 days ago
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house md rewatch: 1x11, "detox"
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house's first dance with withdrawal, the ducklings' shaken faith, and wilson's devotion.
i will be hilson posting in here but! i swear it's actually rooted in some serious thought & consideration lol.
at the top of the recap, i'll include a question - house was dressed pretty well this episode, and has been thus far, with collared shirts, coats, etc. just no lab coat. do you think this changes over time just due to normal tv wardrobe changes, or can we take this as another example of his canonical decline? i can go either way, myself.
anyways! doesn't he look like that one portrait of mary in the above picture? this episode felt like microdosing 5x23-6x02 (iykyk). after rearing its head pretty strongly in 1x09, house's vicodin takes center stage, and he makes a pretty interesting claim to cuddy in the conversation that precedes their bet: "pills don't make me high. they make me neutral." the question of what neutrality means for house is SO interesting.
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repression/suppression is a theme we commonly associate with wilson as the show evolves, but 1x11 is super up front that house is Holding Things Back via his addiction (he won't use that lingo at first), which is yet another tease at what his collective backstory looks like. we also get the first mention of his infarction in this episode, along with a vague timeline; wilson details that it happened "a few years ago."
i always thought the premise of this episode is kinda...cruel, which had me gagged when they revealed that the scheme to get house off vicodin for a week was wilson's idea. but i think the cruelty of the idea helps characterize house as being truly and impossibly difficult. "cuddy" (wilson) would not have concocted such an insane scheme, full of temptation of the highest order, if house would be receptive to a lesser offer.
i was really struck with mapping the patient's experience onto house's this episode, and i think the plotlines coalesce nicer than usual in this episode, with a little quirk at the end. the patient, keith, presents with inexplicable internal bleeding, and a true avalanche of failed diagnoses follows. the team eventually lands on lupus - the first time lupus is condemned as a non-answer for house - which sends house over the edge because it's too simple.
lupus represents the admittance that he's an addict with a problem. it would explain so much about house, yet it would also tie him up as A Man With Problems in a neat little bow, too simple for house to make peace with. it's his lived experience; he knows the complexities of what brought vicodin into his life more than anybody (though someone in particular comes pretty damn close). lupus, or the title of addict, cannot fit. because then it's simple. because then house can't hide from the simple, serendipitous, brilliant diagnosis.
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this parallel comes to the fore in a heated debate with the ducklings. house admits to cameron that keith's symptoms make lupus "more likely, BUT," that "but" doing a lot of heavy lifting. it could be lupus, he could be an addict, BUT that can't be all there is to it. so he majorly jeopardizes the patient by insisting they investigate hepatitis E.
this debate is so intense that it causes a definitive split from house, which really takes off with cameron after foreman pokes fun at her unflinching loyalty/kindness toward house (i think foreman holds a very reductive view of her and house, but i digress). she can either evade the truth about the treatment toward keith's father (which chase advocates for), or tell the father the truth (foreman's choice). when the elevator eclipses her, a nice visual representation of her ingesting both her peers' opinions, we're not clear what her solution will be.
that she first lies to the father and then violates house's wishes, admitting that she believes in the lupus diagnosis, is probably the greatest hit to the ducklings' faith in house yet.
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i know i'm bouncing around a lot here, but this is a congested episode (in a good way!) and i want to make sure i don't forget anything. intermixed with house's rapid decline (in time with keith's almost exactly) are wilson's attempts at helping/solving house. first he hires a masseuse for house, and while my knee jerk reaction is to declare how misogynistic the resulting scenes are, i really need to understand why wilson looks so excited by All This:
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i know this isn't really the time/place (and it's too early in the show), but like. sure. hire a bossy masseuse and make jokes about house not getting any lately + imply that you're not getting any, either, despite being married. okay whatever. to say nothing of the house/cuddy masseuse debacle of season 7 lol.
what is generically important about the masseuse is that wilson already feels guilty. he knows he's putting his friend through a hard time - in his mind, it's for house's own good - but tries to alleviate some of it. cuddy, meanwhile, does no such thing lol because she 1) probably understands the value, both for house himself and the hospital, in house getting clean and 2) doesn't have enabler disease like wilson. more on that later.
the next glimpse of wilson's guilt comes after house breaks his own hand. this one is pretty obvious - even though wilson is intrigued to learn that house's brain prioritizes this immediate physical pain over his chronic pain, wilson is still distantly responsible for this. and of course house md takes care, once again, to show us how gentle is by nature:
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but a little deeper than this is a perverse interest/satisfaction. i don't think wilson directly experiences this, per se, so much as the audience is tipped off to another dimension of his knack for Getting To House. his guilt is competing not just with a sense that he's doing house a favor by drawing his addiction into the light, but also a small excitement for being needed (this also comes together with confirmed enabler wilson later). house's relief is - understandably - visualized like a moment of ecstasy, and wilson is directly or indirectly responsible for each.
relief from the masseuse, relief from breaking his hand, and relief from winning the bet that wilson constructed.
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the power dynamics of 1x11 are subversive here. house has been the one in charge, even winning over cuddy on most occasions, but wilson, the orchestrator behind the scenes, reduces house to this state, and it's not without some satisfaction. hilson psychoanalysts hopefully get what i'm putting down here lol. this reversal is UNDONE, of course, by the total failure of the bet because house only gets halfway to help, halfway to the intended solution.
in house's mind, by the end of the 7 days of no vicodin, sure. he's an addict. but just like how lupus was too simple for keith, that title alone is too simple for house. he's addicted without the problem. how can neutrality be a problem? how can his functionality, which he sees as unimpeded, be a net-negative just because it's narcotic-inspired?
another departure before circling back to that integral house and wilson conversation about addiction without a problem. another way 1x11 highlights wilson's guilt and the cruelty of the entire bet is when cuddy accuses house of "playing chicken" with the patient's life. this is right after it's revealed that cameron told the truth about the lupus diagnosis, so the father is up in arms. however, when cameron explains that she managed to convince the father to trust house anyways, house counters with: "that's when he caved."
they always cave, especially when they go to the Wilson School of Enabling. wilson and cuddy have been toying with house, and it crosses a line eventually.
thus, wilson surrenders to house after yet another brief yet revelatory conversation: "you are not just a regular guy who's getting older. you've changed. you're miserable, and you're afraid to face yourself."
"of course i've changed!"
"and everything is the leg? nothing's the pills? they haven't done a thing to you?"
"they let me do my job, and they take away the pain."
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obviously, this conversation is a failure, as is the bet. house proves his point - he is in less pain on vicodin, and they do let him do his job. it's wilson who's concerned with his quality of life. it's wilson who knew him best pre-infarction. it's wilson who, selfishly, wants him back to how he used to be.
if we weren't dealing with THE james wilson, i think we could write off the episode's conclusion as a sad end to a selfish endeavor on his part. yet he makes a fleeting remark to cuddy at the very end that basically dooms himself. when she asks him, "what are you gonna do?" wilson says, "nothing. i've done enough damage."
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oh boy!
as we know, wilson will go on to try to help house curb his addiction in the future but, more than anything, he will indulge the hell out of it. season 3's central conflict rides on that fact. the guilt wins out in the end, not house's brilliance, nor inner strength, nor the ducklings' shaken faith, nor the very premise of the episode/the bet itself. wilson caves just like the patient's father did because this - house's pain, his addiction, is infarction - is a fact of life. and, hey, if house's addiction is problem that's unable to be fully solved, than wilson gets the endless well of neediness he's been masochistically searching for.
what an absolutely insane foundational episode for these 2.
lastly, i have 2 separate notes that i want to make:
after keith's father punches house in the face, nobody helps house up. cuddy attempts to but doesn't really follow through, and what's more important is that the ducklings just leave him collapsed on the floor. even though house ends up being write about the final diagnosis (which is the craziest one yet), something has definitely shifted.
foreman being the one to hand house vicodin so he can get through the case really affected me this go-around, but i can't put my finger on exactly why. please share your thoughts, if you have any!
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breelandwalker · 4 months ago
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Magical Oil Recipes - Protection and Warding Edition
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For anyone looking to brew up some magical protections or enhance their current warding measures, here are some recipes I’ve created that you might find useful.
To prepare them, blend the ingredients in such proportions as feels correct for your purposes (or as supplies allow). Use dried material except where indicated. Place a few spoonfuls in a mason jar with a screwtop lid and fill the jar with a bland oil of your choice. (Vegetable oil of the sort you would buy for cooking works fine.) Screw the lid on tightly and shake well to combine, then leave the jar in a dark dry place for 2-4 weeks to steep.
Once steeped, prepare a clean storage bottle (also with a secure lid) and label with the type of oil and the bottling date. Strain the oil through paper towels or cheesecloth to remove the plant material, then bottle immediately. Store away from sunlight and heat for up to one year. Use for spellwork as you see fit.
(Please note that NONE of these potions are meant to be taken internally by any means. Observe all proper safety measures related to glass, fire, and potentially harmful plants as necessary during preparation.)
*- Ingredient is potentially harmful if inhaled or ingested. **- Ingredient should not be used or handled if you are pregnant or nursing.
All-Purpose Blessing Oil For blessing, purification, and consecration.
Lavender
Sweet Basil
Bay Leaf
Patchouli Note: Use Olive Oil for the base.
All-Purpose Hexbreaking Oil For general negation of baneful spells cast by oneself or others.
Agrimony**
Cinquefoil
Fennel
Vervain
Solomon's Seal Root in master bottle
And Stay Out Ward Refresher Oil For strengthening household protections between castings.
Sarsaparilla
Oakmoss
Horehound
Sweet Basil
Banned From The Premises Banishing Oil For anointing doorways and banishing unwanted persons.
Oregano
Rosemary
Lemon Peel
Thyme
Blue Moon Curse Reversal Oil For turning and countering baneful magic.
Angelica Root
Lemon Verbena
Motherwort**
Elderberries*
Change the Locks Protection Oil For protection of the home from banished persons.
Cumin
Oregano
Rosemary
Thistle
Cradlekeeper Child Protection Oil For protection of infants and young children.
Daisies (any color)
Flax Seeds
Caraway Seeds
Lamb's Ear Leaf Note: Use to anoint the lintel of the door to the child's room.
No Soliciting Front Door Oil To keep unwanted visitors away from your home.
Ivy Leaves
Sweet Basil
Blueberry Leaf
Juniper Berries Note: Apply to your front door or threshold.
Safe Space Protection Oil To help one find sanctuary when it is most needed.
Blackberry Leaf (or Tea)
Allspice Berries
Fennel Tops
Clover Leaves and Blossoms
The Shielding Light Protection Oil For passive protective magics.
Caraway Seeds
Eucalyptus Leaf**
Lavender
Vervain Note: Passive protection magic functions as a shield, rebuffing or neutralizing harm. It is good for long-term spells that don't require much energy or maintenance.
The Shining Dark Protection Oil For active protective magics.
Coconut Husk
Thistle Leaf
Witch Hazel**
Angelica Root Note: Active protection magic functions as a sword, strongly deflecting or fending off harm. This is best for short-term or immediate-use spells that are not meant to last, but must kick in very strongly and very quickly. Excellent for emergency personal protections.
The Sorcerer's Tower Protection Oil To protect your witchy supplies and workspace from interlopers.
Juniper Sprigs or Berries
Blueberry Leaf
Thistle
Astragalus Root Note: Works best alongside mundane secrecy and privacy measures. To avoid damage, anoint containers, furniture, and doors rather than items. Do not use directly on books as it may damage delicate paper or covers. Use with caution on unfinished wood.
Thorn in the Door Warding Oil To discourage unfriendly witches from entering your home.
Rosemary
Bay Leaf
Sage (any color)
Solomon's Seal Root
Rose Stem (with thorns) in master bottle
Walking Ward Protection Oil For personal warding spells of all kinds.
Sweet Basil
Witch Hazel**
Fennel Sprigs Note: This works for both active and passive protection magics and may be used in conjunction other protective oils.
Wanderlust Traveling Oil For all-purpose protection and luck while traveling.
Feverfew
Cinquefoil
Witch Hazel**
Spearmint
Should the reader require supplies, I recommend the following:
Penn Herb Company
Starwest Botanicals
Bulk Apothecary
Mountain Rose Herbs
Specialty Bottle
Photo Credit - Shaiith
All recipes are © 2017 Bree NicGarran, published in Pestlework: A Book of Magical Powders & Oils. Please check out the book if you would like more recipes.
If you’re enjoying my content, please feel free to drop a little something in the tip jar, tune in to my podcast Hex Positive, or check out my published works on Amazon or in the Willow Wings Witch Shop.
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