#is actually the only thing I listen to with him in it lol

[firefly-factory]

WIP Wednesday <3

Thank you for tagging me @theoneandonlysemla @skyrim-forever @hircines-hunter 🥰🥰🥰🥰

No pressure tagging @changelingsandothernonsense @emo-eyemakeup-evildude @emicat1159 @the-videodame @thedivinecrows @pocket-vvardvark and anyone else who'd like to join in <3

-

Ive been continuing the (VERY SLOW) render portrait of my Astor and oh my gosh. It is very much a test of patience. But hes so pretty 🥰💕💕💕

I tried to focus on just one part at a time but eventually decided "ill lose my mind if I do that" so instead I've been focusing on his face but switching to hair/clothes whenever I start getting sick of skin XD

This week I'm also going to share some writing snippets for funsies :D

Sticking them under the cut bc I couldnt decide on which section of my very big WIP to share from (and my beloved council was supremely unhelpful with narrowing things down) so I decided to do a little bit from all over the place <3

Shadow Hamlet (the Beginning)

The light was blinding. The sun glared from directly overhead, burning his skin with a hot pain that felt achingly familiar. He ran for hours, or perhaps years, until all he remembered was light and stone and blurred motion. He lost all sense of himself. He felt his motion as a distant vibration, like the sound of a war drums played in a nearby village. The wind on his face was as tangible as worm’s breath. It was waiting for him. In moments he would find— The sun disappeared behind a cloud and he skidded to a halt. Broken stone clattered, thrown by his sudden stop, and the sound of each pebble roared in his ear. He was suddenly aware of everything in vivid, agonizing detail

Initiate (Deafened to Hylia)

this is actually the section i've been working on most recently. i'm very out of order when it comes to when i write stuff lol

He donned the robes, pulling them over his travelling clothes and cinching the waist with the heavy gilt belt. The square segments undulated like a gleaming metal snake, matching the heavy collar that rested on his shoulders. The newly inlaid ruby sent a rush of warmth through his chest, burning with an intensity that bordered on unpleasant. Finally he settled the circlet on his forehead, centering its ornament between his brows. The metal seemed to hum beneath his fingertips, and he felt the familiar lurch as threads of fate congealed around him, momentarily visible as an incoherent tangle of images and sensations. Eventually the cacophony settled to a low hum, like static at the edge of his vision or a noise just out of hearing distance. There will be no surprises, he thought. That fact alone made the queasiness worth it.

Wanderer

The young man’s hair was mostly loose, save for the braids that framed his face. He had three braids, two on one side and one on the other, tucked behind his ears. The old man would have sworn he’d only had two braids when he first arrived at Deya, but perhaps he was misremembering. He was old, and sometimes the details of things escaped him. He hadn’t asked about the braids. A part of him worried that it was part of the cult that Astor had mentioned in passing. He wasn’t sure how braids would be part of something nefarious, but there was something about the care with which Astor brushed out and redid the braids every morning that made Darius think it was more than just an aesthetic choice.

Just gonna have the one snippet from the last third bc to be quite honest I've still got a LOT to write and also i dont want to give away everything 😈

He tried to sit up again, but it was still beyond him. Call for help, then. His voice was a croak, even weaker than the soft breeze whispering through the trees. He lay there, listening, as the travelers passed by without ever noticing him. Their voices clarifed as they drew nearer, until he was able to make out individual words. There had been some great disturbance at the castle. “You mean the seer that the King called in? They tried to keep it quiet, but I heard he predicted a second Calamity.” A different voice laughed. “That’s old news by now. No, something different. You remember that lightning storm two nights ago?” Two nights? “What of it?”

And finally, a snippet from the Yiga Member/Astor survives/botw au

His hands covered his face. His knees curled up to his chest. His eyes flickered madly, as if he couldn’t decide whether it was better to have them thrown wide open or squeezed tightly shut. His muttering continued and he rocked side to side slightly, unaware of the rough stones that scraped at his robes. How long has he been going mad? she wondered, unsure if it would be better to walk away, leaving him to his own devices, or to intervene. Instinct warred against common sense as she pulled him to her chest [...] He settled against her, his shoulders shaking as he cried.

Yes, this is the "happy" timeline LOL

Anyways I hope yall enjoy and feel free to bombard with questions or theories if you have any <3 <3 <3

[keisminx]

church choir boy!sakusa kiyoomi who swore he's a reformed man yet.. you are here. in his dorm.

cw. timeskip(20s)! college au! BLASPHEMY. hierophilia. oral (male receiving). not much of a plot. sakusa going through it. inaccurate church stuff since i haven’t gone to church in sooo long. mentions of god. guilt. shame. dead dove. MDNI. 18+ ONLY.

a/n. religion is a vv sensitive topic for others.. so please proceed with caution. this might not be that good but this is an itch i have to let go. it’s haunting me. ( ꩜ ᯅ ꩜;)  it's not super explicit but still taboo so i tagged dead dove (don't be disappointed if it's not that extreme LOL). this is 1.8k words.. i got too into it. didn’t proofread!! READ THE CW OVER AND OVER.

you were never the type to go to churches or do anything religious at all. actually, you despise it. ever since you grew up, your parents had forced you to attend their sunday masses to “repent” your sins and be some role model kid.

but thanks to college, being away in dorms, you actually had stop coming through masses. except for major exams. or quizzes you know reviews wouldn’t pull through enough. so you find yourself in the university chappel too many times to count.

you turned god or whoever is up there to some exam miracle hotline that you can dialed up and ask for anything like a kid asking for a candy.

sometimes guilt will creeps in but most of the time it’s a “he’ll understand” moment so you just keep doing it for two years.

you didn’t even attend chapel masses, don’t know anything about it. only walking in at some late afternoon when there's no people so you can be alone and say your prayer loud enough for you cause god is something cling on when your grades are in need of help.

today is different. komori, your friend who have been trying to attend you sunday mass ever since he find out you pray every exam season, saying you did that already why not try attending.

so you give in. just so he can shut up about it and maybe stop trying to convince you when he sees you bored as hell.

but here you are with sakusa. a guy who you made an eye contact, scratch that, you gawked at the university chapel which cause you to attend friday masses with komori.. too frequent.

in all honesty, you didn’t know he is komori’s cousin. you didn’t know that the same person who komori posted on his ig story multiple times, the one he’s always with at gym photos, always in face mask and komori going “no way you are corrupting my cousin with your energy.”

you always thought that was an overreaction. something about your energy, stories too hard to handle for komori’s cousin. you didn’t know the man was a choir boy.

which didn’t help at all. because the fridays you see sakusa singing the hymn, choir robe all white and crisped. you can’t help but wonder what he would sound like when he’s not singing the church hymns.

the days leading up to exam week, you find yourself on the same late afternoon, sitting on the pews, should have been praying for finals going about if he’s real and listening he will pass you on your taxation exam like you didn’t told him the same thing semesters ago.

but instead, you will stop for a moment. one eye peeking the big cross on the middle of the altar as if you’re making sure he’s listening and then go off— how you are sorry about lusting over one of his choir boy then go off on how that's mostly his fault because he made sakusa (based on the bible). and then as if this is some sick fetish for you, you will go off in detail how you imagine him fucking you while he have his still his robe on, groaning. you imagine sakusa rutting in you like coming inside you will be his salvation.

then you will go on, remind god, that you are not thinking about doing it in his home. that’s basically asking to be struck by him.

so now, here. standing in front of him, eye to eye as buds of sweat form to his forehead. you were originally meant to drop him off something, notes from komori you borrowed that he asked for you to drop off to him. like it was some sick timing, sakusa was fitting his new choir robe.

his first grave mistake? he invited you inside.

or was it?

it started with; “can i confess,” you said, “sakusa?”

sakusa chuckled softly, back turned on you as he placed the notes of komori on his table, a beaded rosary sitting on the corner. “you know i am a choir member, not a priest”

when sakusa turned to you, you are already on his space causing him so stumble back a little. you are looking up at him, eyes wide, head tilted a little bit. his breath hitched, this is the first time in a while he had a woman up close.

“i know..” you started, stepping a little closer “but the church believes that if i own it up to the person i did wrong, it’s much better.”

“you did wrong?” sakusa echoed, looking down at you, hands almost touching the fabric of his white robe.

you nodded, “you’ll listen to me confess, right? as a part of my repentance.”

sakusa nodded, slowly as if he’s trying to grasp what is happening. he observed you, fingers now fiddling his choir robe. sakusa has now officially feeling some sort of fear and anxiety on what you are about to say.

“sakusa,” you called, “i have been thinking about you.”

sakusa eyes wide, sigh in relief. he thought it will be something bad but relief was soon taken away from him when you started rambling.

“i have been thinking about your voice. you sing way too good and i always wonder how you will sound moaning if i just take your cock in my mouth or if you take me, my body. i am ashamed that i think of you in that way while you are wearing your robe, singing the hymns, being a son of god.”

“i have been thinking about you too much” you repeated, “and it aches here.”

sakusa’s eyes travelled down to your hand. it is caught between your legs, clearly rubbing yourself underneath your skirt. then his eyes went back to your face, you are biting your lower lip. your face show no messing around, your eyes are glassy as if you’re trying not to cry from your shameful confession.

“let me have you in my mouth, sakusa” you plead, “help me get over this.” your hands are now flat on his chest as he backs down on his study table. his fingers grazed over the beads of the rosary.

it sounded so innocent like it’s the only thing that will save you from the sin you are experiencing. sakusa doesn’t want it. he should have said no. he changed. he promised he won’t revert back to that raging hormone teen self who as soon as he turned 18 start crawling on girls’ bed.

komori was his prime witness so when sakusa told him that he will start being active to church and it’s like someone evil is going back to redeem himself.

two years streak is now gone in just a blink. sakusa can feel his dick throb in his pants as you have a staring contest with him. he’s sweating, body hot. ever since he saw you in those pews, sitting next to komori, his mind has wandered far and beyond. instead of falling into his desires, he prayed. he ask forgiveness. he never touch himself as a proof of change.

but here you are, on your knees now, a temptation made in flesh. his fingers automatically lifted his robe to give you access, his trousers are restraining his harden cock. this is most likely the hardest it had been. he can’t help but moan when your hand graze on his hard on.

sakusa felt his cock freed from his boxer. his tip is flushed, angry. it’s leaking way too much causing you to give it a kitten lick as if you’re cleaning it up.

it was mistake to look down at you, your eyes are set on his, lips wrapping around the head of his cock before sinking, taking him whole. “s-shit..”

you choked a little as you feel the head poked the back of your throat. “ahh, this— this feels wrong,” he moaned, other hand gripping the edge of the table. “this is wrong.”

you hummed in response, sending vibrations. you pulled away, string of saliva connecting you to his. you kissed his tip, down to his shaft—slowly, eyes on sakusa, as his gritted his teeth.

you licked him from the end of his cock up to the tip before putting him all in your mouth again, cheeks hollowing.

sakusa’s head is thrown back. he tried thinking about the chapel, the altar, the hymns, his choir friends, the priest who told him, “your voice is a gift from god.”

now that voice is moaning, cussing as the woman who caught his attention from the pews, boredom too apparent, is on her knees, sucking his cock.

your head bobbed up and down his length, tongue swirling around the tip as if you’re making out with his dick.

“i’m sorry,” sakusa whispered. he doesn’t know who this apology is for. to god? to you? or to the version of him he killed just now. “i didn’t mean to— fuck, ngh”

you moan softly, your hips can’t help but grind on nothing. sakusa’s hips jerk up, chasing the feeling, chasing the release. he’s losing himself. the taste of guilt is already there, on his tongue, behind his teeth.

the guilt is now creeping all over his body, more and more.

“please,” he chokes, reaching for your hair. he doesn’t pull, just holds like he’s trying to keep himself grounded. “i don’t wanna cum… fuck—this feels so wrong—”

but you just take him deeper, the tip of your nose kissing his stomach. and this time, he can’t really take it.

sakusa’s body tightens, thighs shaking as his pleasure comes going crashing down.

you can feel it, hot and thick spurts overwhelmingly shoot on the back of your throat. he moaned loudly, broken. his hands gripped your hair as if he’s pulling you away.

too late.

your eyes stared at him as his chest heaved up and down, his expression is somehow a mix of satisfied and terrified as you drink his cum, swallowing all of it like it’s communion.

sakusa backs down on his table, he didn’t even noticed that his rosary was snaked around his left hand, gripping for it.

you get up from your knees, wiping your mouth as sakusa stared down at his robe. the same robe he just picked up an hour ago from the chapel now all wrinkled and tangled with memories of sin, the old lady choir leader handed it to him all crisped and pure saying “you’ll look clean in this, kiyoomi.”

sakusa can feel his throat close. neither of you did speak.

your eyes travelled to the cross above his desk. it’s glinting as the sunlight bleeds through the room. it witnessed your sin, your ‘innocent’ confession that you made sure will break sakusa, made him give in.

and for sakusa, it witnessed him kill the version he tried to kept for so long.

☆ carrd —likes and reblogs are highly appreciated!

[a-vibing-potato]

All the people saying Buzzfeed Unsolved/Watcher are right. All the people saying Mr. Ballen are right. All the people saying Ghostfacers are right. I just don't know which I want most lol.

I want to live in the supernatural universe just so I can watch the true crime documentary on jimmy novak

[lilianade-comics]

Thinking about how Dani's episode is called Kindred Spirits, which implies that her unique narrative role is to mirror Danny and act as a foil to him, and then the episode is like "Here's some ✨superficial similarities✨. She is now going to leave the plot entirely and be 💖homeless💖"

[syluses]

there was another wave of caleb drama on the bird app the other day about him not wanting to be ur gege at all which was lowkey super dumb bc its not true but now its making me think of an au where mc and caleb don't grow up together and meet as adults but caleb's still delusional and crazy enough to want to have that type of dynamic... like just irrationally mad that he isn't the one who raised u LMAO i always saw him as the type to just want to be your everything not Just a brother not Just a lover... it tickles my brain.. love and obsession so all-encompassing that he has to be everything in ur life

..Oh brother 😒 no pun intended. I agree with u tho nonnie 💯 Bro needs to be her everything, & if he isnt he feels worthless.

Prepare thyselfs

Alright, yall already know by know that im a big gege truther- however im perfectly fine with the people who wanna see caleb as the ‘childhood friend’- which the anglicized version essentially goes off on. Now i do believe those individuals dont see all of caleb’s unique little nuances- just because so much of them stem from the brotherly role he was ‘forced’ to fill for mc all throughout childhood- and i think they fail to recognize the paramount correlation it has to their ‘forbidden’ romance (which both he & mc ACKNOWLEDGE in the story; but ig they’re just whiting out the bits they dont wanna hear) but im not gonna flame ppl if they wanna see bro as the friends to lovers trope.

i dont agree with it, but its more or less okay with me bc i understand lots of ppl are icked out by the pseudo trope (reasonable) yet still want to appreciate xia yizhou in their own way— even if ignoring the original intention inevitably brings a certain distance to that for the lack of comprehension over his, well, ahem GEGEISM™️

The way some of them wanna DENY the asian/original canon tho is pretty insane ngl. Like homie u can still enjoy ur own (english localized) idea of caleb- but to try to erase the obvious gege/meimei implications of the chinese version is funny only because its just that stupid. Again im definitely not one of the ppl who’ll yell and shame others for not fucking with the gege vibes, but cmon… its pretty obvious that is in the canon.

And now im yapping at this point but as to whether or not caleb WANTS to be mc’s brother figure? ..Honestly i feel like that is complicated in itself, and i think the answer will vary from person to person. But for me i think its both a yes and a no. He definitely acts as her brother, thinks as her brother, regards himself as her brother. And the self awareness is absolutely there for him- as in he knows its wrong to romantically pine for mc because he truly does- in his own way- naturally see mc as his meimei as well, even if he tries to separate himself from it the more his yearning grows. I think calebs emotions revolving this are super complex. I can barely even put it into words.

He wants the full right, if u will, that the gege title grants him over her— the closeness, the responsibility, the bond— but it ultimately gets in the way when he stares at her in admiration for a little too long or leans a little too much into the fantasy of pretend girlfriend and boyfriend. Growing up, whenever he humored her and they played house, he never had to feign the part of ‘husband’ bc he already carried all that love with him. In a way, a lil piece of him kind of blames mc for ‘asserting’ the gege role on him, but he’s still just as guilty bc he happily gave in to it all throughout their growing up. He liked it, even, in those moments he could almost forget his own pathetic desires.

I truly do believe that caleb feels regretful over the brotherly role he operated under for just about all his life… But i also truly believe that he would have it no other way— the smallest idea of anybody else assuming that spot in her life makes him furious. Because again, he wants to take care of her, he wants to protect her, to bandage her scraped knees and hush away her tears, to cook breakfast lunch and dinner for her and have almost as much of a say in her life as gran does. (…past tense.) He wants the proximity, the domestic life with her, the casual closeness and again, the slight dominion the ‘brother’ role gives him over her.

Lets not forget that in all of this, for all his cheerful, reassuring smiles and easy quipping comments, that there’s a little worm in the back of caleb’s head that wants ultimate control over his meimei. and yes, even just in calling her his ‘meimei’— or her running face first into his strong arms bc she knows, as family, he’ll always have her back— some of that control is given. Its so hard to articulate this pls kill me. But i hope u know what i mean.

At the end of the day, for all his reservations about it- and the actual blame he lowkey tries to put on mc for it- Caleb does and always wanted to be her gege.

Because if he was never her gege, he’d be nothing. His responsibility over his meimei— his sister, his friend, his closest confidant and hopefully, one day, his wife— is frankly all that gives him purpose.

And yeah maybe he is a little crazy because of it... But he knows she loves him too, deep down. He knows her better than anybody else, after all. The same can be said about his love for her: nobody in this world could ever hold even a fraction of all that Caleb both internally & physically shoulders for her.

It’s as much of an ugly curse as it is a beautiful gift.

Duality my friends, duality

[vaguely-concerned]

bunter keeping peter from being swallowed up by an evil bog with the kind of hysterical strength otherwise only known by mothers deadlifting cars to save their tender babes is something that can actually be so personal

[frosting-surfeit]

Any fic where the focus is dib growing some understanding towards zims paranoia or dib comforting zim whenever hes being paranoid?? :DDD IM GOING INSANE PLS :DDDDD

[kitkatsgalore]

say cheese! 📸

[burningcheese-merchant]

YOU LIKE HOLLOW KNIGHT??? /vpos

whats your fav part :3 can be lore stuff or characters or anything!!

(no need for jellies!! i also have 25k+)

What ISN'T my favorite part about Hollow Knight honestly lol. I am so incorrigibly smitten with that game. I love a lot of games, but Hollow Knight has my heart forever and ever

The art style. The art style. The art style. The art style. The art-

Seriously I've never seen anything drawn like Hollow Knight before and I hope never to again, so it stays unique to the game. It's just so captivating to me. I'm not even sure how to explain, really. Here are some examples I really like (although I love looking at everything in general, HK honestly hypnotizes me)

The sheer amount of detail in everything. The colors. The lighting. The sense of scale. This world is dead, and yet it feels so alive. You can really feel how vast Hallownest is. How full, yet empty. The scars of calamity have been left everywhere you go, and yet there's a certain beauty that lingers still, even in the scars themselves. I don't remember if HK or Ari Gibson (art director) won any awards for the art direction; if not then that's a fucking crime. Hollow Knight is so gorgeous it's almost unbearable

The combat is very fun. I really like soulslike games so HK already won points with me for that from jump lol. The bosses are all unique, unique designs, unique moves, posing unique challenges. They're tough (HK is not an easy game and it only gets harder as you progress), but in a way where you feel so proud and accomplished when you beat them (some games are so frustrating that you're not even happy when you beat them, you're just glad it's finally over. Thank God HK isn't like that). I find a lot of satisfaction in honing your skills enough to overcome an obstacle/enemy and HK scratches that itch really well. (I've gotten good enough by now that I can beat most bosses in one try. That shit feels soooooo good man)

100/10 soundtrack. I have the OST saved on my Spotify and I listen to it often. Really, really great music and sound direction in general. It's all so haunting and so full of sorrow, and yet in a lot of tracks, there's energy and even whimsy. Like it's reminding you that underneath all the doom and gloom is an adventure still worth having. My favorites are Resting Grounds and Kingdom's Edge, I think. I'm also partial to City of Tears and the Dream Battle theme. (Also The Radiance has the best boss music hands down)

The setting itself is so fascinating. Hallownest is one of the coolest fictional places I've ever been to, and it's a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Every location is so unique and rich in design and lore. I never get tired of running around the map and revisiting every place 100 times. It's hard to choose but I think I like the City of Tears, Greenpath, Royal Waterways (super annoying to navigate but I appreciate the challenge) Crystal Peak, Kingdom's Edge in particular. But Ancient Basin is probably my absolute favorite, I love that place beyond words

I really, really love games that have collecting/cataloging quests/elements, and that's exactly what the Hunter's Journal is. It's fun to unlock entries for each enemy and learn more about them. Not only do you learn more about Hallownest through them, but you learn more about the Hunter himself, too, through the notes he added to each one

The NPCs are all my darlings!!! I love the little dynamic between Sly and the three Nailmasters (I'm kind of a sucker for that trope where the mentor figure is gruff and strict on the outside but deeply cares for their wards/mentees, they just have their own way of showing it). Cornifer is a cutie patootie, Iselda has good taste (and so does Cornifer!!). MYLA MY POOR BABY MYLAAAAA IT HURTS SO BAD 😫😫😫 The entire Grimm Troupe is peak, the Hunter is peak x10. Quirrel and Cloth are my absolute faves. Hornet is Hornet, our tragic girlboss where the fuck is Silksong I'm losing it. Everyone has their own personality and speech patterns, everyone is fun to talk to and I never want to stop talking to them. I love them all so much

The story is the love of my life. And what I actually may legitimately love the most is HOW the story is told. Nothing is spoonfed to you in Hollow Knight. The only information you have at the beginning about anything, anything at all, is the intro poem that appears on the screen before the game actually starts (the one by Monomon the Teacher). There was once a great kingdom that is now in ruins thanks to a strange plague that wiped it out; that's all you really know for a little while. The mystery unravels little by little as you progress and it's so engaging. What exactly happened? What became of the citizens? What kind of plague was this? What did the monarchy do to try to stop it? Why did they fail? You discover the truth as you venture through Hallownest, gleaning information from your surroundings and from objects you interact with and from NPC dialogue. Even from the enemies you fight. Even from details in the fucking bakcgrounds. The story is unfolding all around you, all the time. And it's so fucking bleak. Hollow Knight is such a terrible tragedy and I love it. The world you set foot into is already ruined, everyone is already dead. There is no solution and no salvation, it's far too late for any of that. You ARE there for a reason, just not that. I FUCKING LOVE IT. I love the doom and gloom. I love the shadow Hallownest's legacy casts on every single INCH of the territory it once proudly occupied. Your heart aches for its subjects, yet you also often find yourself shaking your head and realizing how much of their fate was deserved the more you understand what happened and why. The Pale King... The Dreamers... THE BOTTOM OF THE ANCIENT BASIN... God. You feel such a maelstrom of emotions for everything and everyone. You want to weep over all of their graves and dance on them at the same time. Such a dense, overwhelming sorrow permeates everything you see, hear, touch. You lose yourself in the story just walking around, looking at the rooms, listening to the music. It never had to be this way. But maybe it did. Maybe it was always inevitable. Maybe all of this is true at once, despite the contradiction. There is no happy ending in Hollow Knight. There is no happy beginning and no happy middle, either. What little happiness there is is in those fleeting moments you experience here and there. In listening to Cornifer tell you about his maps. In helping Cloth realize her dream. In sitting next to Elderbug and Bretta at the bench in Dirtmouth, enjoying the peaceful silence and cold breeze before you leave for the ruins again. Little things, here and there, that feel so much more meaningful in a place like that. I like the underlying message that, even in the wake of insurmountable disaster, there are still things worth living for. There are still ways to carve out peace and happiness from the corpse of your hopes and dreams, however small. Hollow Knight feels like one big and complicated cycle of grief. And you come to know and appreciate everything it has to say and show you as you move along. It balances "show" and "tell" in an outstanding way. You're encouraged to run around and explore, look in all the nooks and crannies, venture into the scary-looking shadows, interact with everything you possibly can, because the story is hiding somewhere in all of those things. Everything unfolds so organically and at such a perfect pace. I can't spoil any more about the story than I have here (I've tried to say as little as possible while still telling people what it's about) and I won't. All I can say is it's one of my favorite stories ever told in video games. You have to play it to understand.

I really cannot sing Hollow Knight's praises often or loudly enough. This game is very special to me*. If anyone who's reading this hasn't played it, PLEASE do. I am on my knees begging. You will not regret it, I swear on my life.

*There's one more thing about it I wanted to say. It's a bit personal so it'll be under this cut

The day Bruce died, I tried to look for something to distract myself with. Anything. I had already spent hours on the couch silently staring into the abyss, barely noticing the tears streaming down my face. I decided to turn on Hollow Knight, because I thought maybe playing my favorite game would help me pretend my friend wasn't gone and a piece of me hadn't gone with him.

I turned the game on to start a new save file and I just... sat there, listening to the title screen music. That's all I ended up doing for a few minutes before turning it off. (I ended up just leaving my house and wandering around aimlessly for a while.) I couldn't find it in myself to play, but the music felt really... soothing. I let it play uninterrupted and it felt as though a blanket was slowly being draped over my shoulders. That was the calmest I'd been all day and would be for several days afterwards. I'm still not quite sure what it was/is. Maybe it's because the song is so slow and melancholic, and it made me feel like my emotions were being heard and understood and played back to me in a way. For a moment I was able to accept my own feelings. I was not ok and that was ok. In the middle of my own tragedy I found solace in another tragedy. It was validating to remember such an unhappy story while feeling so unhappy myself. Like the game was happy to sit there and be miserable with me. I know it's dumb and silly, I know it's just a game. But it proved to be a great comfort in a dark time

[flaming-toads]

So what if I go back to s1e10 of 911 and I enjoy Bobby's little dating profile and think about silly cute ideas about it hmm?! HMMM?!

[fairweathermyth]

My 5yo nephew watched Kiki’s Delivery Service for the first time and his very earnest review was: not enough delivery service.

[heapstone]

drs appointment to beg for meds today wish me luck 🤠

[vaguely-concerned]

ingellvar must have so many strange off-putting little personal habits in their day to day life that they don't even realize come across as weird, especially if they haven't ever dated outside of the watchers much. in rye's specific case I think lucanis has a capacity for such immaculate 'sure my life is already so fucking weird this might as well happen' energy that I believe he'd be able to roll with the punches admirably given the time, but it really would be a situation like

(what was going on there was that rook was placing down some experimental wards, by the way, it's what he does to calm down before bed and if he wakes during the night. what with the necropolis itself being a liminal space of lf sorts on a cosmic scale, watchers take the additional liminal space between wakefulness and dreaming extremely seriously b/c they know there are things drifting through that would just love to get their foot/tentacle/conceptual spores in that particular half-ajar door that should not be allowed inside. or outside, I suppose, depending on your point of view. rook and lucanis are also experimenting with whether solid wards can help any with lucanis' weird post-spite dreams even if they can't do anything for the more mundane ptsd ones. third reason because in my worldstate they still live in the lighthouse after the game: unless gently dissuaded wisps will sometimes drift by while you're asleep and hover over your face curiously as they sense your mind doing stuff in the fade, and no one likes waking up on an eldritch sneeze with a well-meaning yet terrified wisp zooming about the room. important watcher novice 101 lessons.

blessed mental image of rye cross-legged on the floor, barefoot in his PJs with his hair down and no makeup, peaceably tracing out elaborate geometric shapes that somehow make your eyes scared when you look at them* while lucanis sits on the bed and reads out loud to both him and spite and occasionally sneaks some carnal looks at rook's fully unleashed curly hair and bare wrists & throat...... okay I think I've found the thing that will help me through the day thank you for coming on this journey with me)

*what is the paint he's using made out of and why is it such a deeply unsettling colour? don't worry about it! :) patented mostly well-meaning yet also borderline condescending mortalitasi hand wave of 'don't worry your sweet little non-nevarran head about it we both know you don't actually want to know. do not ask questions lest you learn the answers, especially if you're going to be annoying at me and freak out about it. let the things man was not meant to know stay unknown. unknown by you I mean I'm built different'

[bacchuschucklefuck]

LIVING for your ponytail Yugi he’s so cute 😭💖

thank u! i hold dear in my heart the way yuugi is like a little plushie that wants nothing more than to die a noble death

[fernsehn]

Was looking into this person's eyes or rather it felt as if he looked into my eyes ... up close and in such an open and soft way.

It was something

[light-wrath-paradise]

I love fix-it aus for stories where any attempt to fix shit could only ever make everything worse. They're like sitcoms to me.