#is so. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhbhhhhhhhhh
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reading life changing fanfiction of a subjectively underwhelming source media is a special kind of hell
#‘subjectively underwhelming’ bc most of the time its me taking a handful of characters and doing what I want#its not even spite I am just in a state constantly clenching my fists like ‘it would be SO cool but i still feel like#people are going to come for me for mischaracterizing canon that I don’t really care abt’#tempted to make one of those page banners to go with it like ‘I don’t go here I just read a really good fic and when I went to check the#source material it didn’t live up to my expectations so now im just in purgatory and sound insane doing this’#being unwell abt something and then having someone trash talk it to you but not maliciously bc they dont know youre unwell abt it#is so. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhbhhhhhhhhh#I dont need to prove myself or anything I dont need to never rub ppl the wrong way to enjoy fictional characters#and none of this is relevant to anything in my life I am just deeply attached to how many different ways these guys can fall in love#but the way I am being so vague about this feels telling of how much I worry ppls opinion of me will change if I bite the bullet#not even of their own accord thats just how far removed my reasons for liking it are#sigh#yapping
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