#it also has some stuff that's more...dodgy?

[cultivating-wildflowers]

Fortnight of Books, Day 14

A book you didn’t read in 2024 that will be your #1 priority in 2025?

I wouldn't say it's my top priority, but I chased a reread of Little Women all over my TBR last year and never settled down to it. It's still waiting patiently on my shelf for me.

I also still have not got around to reading Emily B. Martin's Ashes to Fire (I read the first book, Woodwalker, back in 2023) so hopefully I can finally get to it this year.

New book you are most anticipating for 2025?

I'm assuming this means new releases, but I nearly always read new-ish releases by pure happenstance, so I'm going with new-to-me:

Pawn in Frankincense by Dorothy Dunnett. It's not actually in my Top Five anticipated reads for 2025, but it is the book I am most dreading. Because I was so stressed out at the end of the last book and where things were setting up for this installment that I broke my own rule and looked up spoilers (actually super difficult with this fandom) anddddddd it's not gonna be good. I'm gonna read it but I will suffer the entire time. (If anyone reading this has read Pawn in Frankincense, this is me holding out my hand begging for help. Please hold me.)

From my Top Five list, I'm excited to finally read Sorcery and Cecelia. I love Wrede's writing so I have no idea why it's taken so long to get to this series.

[glitchinginthegarden]

Woke up with thoughts so here we go:

Johnny’s behavior early in the game makes 100% sense and I support it because it fits his character writing and situation.

I've been seeing a lot of newer cyberpunk players getting onto the "Johnny is an absolute piece of shit" / "why would anyone do anything for this douchebag" soapbox and they're entitled to that opinion BUT...

Coming from the perspective of having completed the game multiple times and done plenty of digging into the ttrpg stuff, it fits. We also have to keep in mind the unreliable narrator factor but that's another thing all together.

In the beginning (after the nightmare night), Johnny is playing the face of cool dude who's suddenly on V's side while actively attempting to manipulate them. This tracks for his character, yes, but also for Night City.

If their positions were swapped, I know for a fact my V would be doing the same exact thing to her unwilling host. Which, when you break it down, is simply an attempt to regain control over a situation where she has none.

I don't blame Johnny in the slightest for that at that point in the plot. It's in human nature to fight tooth and nail for survival. Why would that not extend to someone who's been trapped in soul prison for fifty years too?

He's just "escaped" Mikoshi only to wake up imprisoned (again) in the mind of a complete stranger. Can you blame him for trying to find an angle he can work there?

Because I don't.

Everything tells us yes, Johnny is an asshole who historically has generally only looked out for himself. But not that he's been actively or maliciously intent on causing harm to the people around him. He doesn't behave the way he does for the hell of it, he does it (in my opinion) because in the past, his flavor of manipulation has worked and usually gotten him what he wants.

Which brings me to another thing: I've also seen some comments about how he doesn't tell V certain things depending on how you talk to him. That he withholds more if V is nice than when they're more mean to him. And that also tracks for his character.

Now, I will say that I haven't played a lot of "be mean to Johnny" runs, but if he does drop more info for that, I'm not surprised. Case and point: the oil fields.

Johnny is a person who won't take shit seriously unless he gets a kick in the ass for his behavior. V has to call him on his bullshit to get that sweet approval boost for Don't Fear The Reaper. So, it ultimately it makes sense for him to cough up more information along the line if V isn't being nice about getting it or calls him on being a dodgy fuck. Johnny doesn't fuck with weak people unless he can use them, that's not a secret.

He's playing his cards close to his chest for the most part and it makes sense. He has sparingly few hands to play after 50 years in soul prison. Why would he show his spread to someone who, depending on where you are in the plot, ultimately wants to end him again and scrape him off their brain? He's trying to survive.

He's a disabled man with a grand total of eighty something years of untreated ptsd and people wonder why he's not forthcoming with what he knows? Of course he's not. It's unreasonable to expect that, and especially from a character like his.

The point I'm trying to get to here, I suppose, is that I support Johnny’s wrongs because they're in line with his character and that's part of what makes him so well written. Yes, he's an asshole. Yes, he manipulates and lies and cheats to serve his needs. But, c'mon, look at the whole picture. Look at the setting and the other players on the board, and tell me it doesn't make perfect sense.

[esorxy]

MDZS/wangxian fic recs that saved my soul fr

love, in fire and blood by cicer 

360k same world but wwx is an immortal living in the burial mounds and lwj gets married off to him in some bargain and they start being so domestic and fall in love. this is honestly the best fanfic ive ever read and its so long but ive reread it so many times already because its so well written and perfect. felt kinda bad for lwj at the start BUT his internal dialogue was top tier. ill never get bored of this fic. every time i read it i will scream into a pillow every few paragraphs because its that good

The One-Body Problem by metisket

28k wwx gets revived into lan jingyi's body but more like they share it AHAHAH LJY is peak comedy value and his internal thoughts are even funnier. really well written too

总有一天; a place to hide (can’t find one near) by yiqie

76k modern au where they are piano teachers and wwx has fucked mental health its very well written to have a sombre tone to the whole thing but also very beautiful. and nuvole bianche. the rest of my bookmarks are also like this cryign

The Care and Keeping of Hanguang-jun: An Instruction Manual by Wei Wuxian by dreaming of your qin (sherleigh)

91k basically some dodgy ass fortune tell tells wwx hes gonna die so he write a manual for lwj's next partner ... whos gonna tell him. anyway it was so goddamn angsty but look at the lack of mcd

shades of grey spill from my veins (bleeding ink all over the page) by Reverie (cl410)

58k cultivation world AU where wwx grows up under NMJ. i was obsessed with nmj/lxc for some reason and they were so cute in this fic. honestly the vibe that this fic gave off was like... harry potter but for adults so really nice to read

Switched by shorimochi

95k after they finish filming the untamed, the actors and their characters get transmigrated/swapped. crack plot and so funny. how do you explain being jealous because your crush has a crush on this character u play. and pop off xiao zhan for being smart

hunters seeking solid ground by Attila

23k and i cant remember what its about cos i bookmarked it 4 years ago but it was very beautifully sad like all the stuff i saved back then

a stone to break your soul, a song to save it by rikke

179k arranged marriage in cultivation world... so falling in love with ur husband. very plot filled and well written sadly i cant remember any of it

[tinystepsforward]

automattic vs wp engine mastterpost

adrienne's GitHub recap is probably the best place to see a comprehensive timeline of what's going down. it's been kept up to date. my (very out of date) previous writeup is here.

what's happened/other links

Matt has not logged off, just switched platforms, so there's lots on X/Twitter, Reddit, and Hacker News. it's really not worth wading through.

WP Engine actually filed suit.

the complaint includes some truly remarkable screenshots of Matt trying to blackmail the CEO of WP Engine.

which... personally i would not happily work for someone who just blackmailed me while not even my boss, but that's just me. he hasn't denied this at all, in fact confirming on Hacker News:

I haven't doxxed any private texts from other parties like they have. [source]

and, notably,

I even invited her to my 40th birthday on Jan 11, another text message she decided not to share. [source]

this gives me the creeps. in the context of the rest of the way he's talking to her, and the ways in which he's interacted with women in general, it's. not great.

also he slid into an ex-employee (also a woman)'s DMs asking why she was being mean to him bc he'd never been nothing but nice to her, while also making legal threats. so y'know, pattern of behaviour.

a good writeup of the social side of things

if you don't care so much about the open-source stuff, Steph Lundberg's writeup is, like her previous one on Matt's Tumblr meltdown, pretty solid and people-focused.

Mullenweg has already demonstrated egregious lapses in judgment and abuses of power, it’s just that up until now he’s wielded his power against vulnerable populations without access to high-powered lawyers and their own massive platforms.

a more technical writeup

this one is melodramatic in the same ways Matt was (uses war terminology), which i don't agree with, and which led to some... internal arguments at Automattic. that part's not my story to tell, but a little more on that later. it's a solid writeup of the actual WordPress side of things. there's some seriously dodgy trademark behaviour going on here.

of note: this blogger locked comments on his post:

and then Matt, uh, found a way around that:

wild!

10% of Automattic leaves

that's a link to Matt's blog post. here's an Internet Archive link.

in short, staff were offered a severance deal of the higher of $30k or six months' salary. while that's very generous, it's still very risky in today's tech market, especially (for the same reasons i mentioned when Matt was melting down on here) for people outside the US, people who need the health insurance, or people with young kids. despite that, 10% decided with very little notice (they had two days to decide) to leave.

However now, I feel much lighter. I’m grateful and thankful for all the people who took the offer, and even more excited to work with those who turned down $126M to stay. As the kids say, LFG!

i'm thrilled to see some of my ex-colleagues make it out. i'm keeping the rest who have stayed on in my thoughts. i don't know anyone who's wholesale shilling for Matt.

Matt's been pressuring staff to post in support of him, @-ing the entire company to vote on Twitter polls in his favor, and so on. many of the people who stayed have written blog posts about it, all starting with "I stayed". people on social media have pointed out the very clear pattern of Automatticians jumping into discourse to defend Matt, and it doesn't look good.

i don't have a lot to say about those posts, except to highlight Jeffrey Zeldman, whose "I stayed" post is perhaps one of the more honest ones. (his Rodney King reference was in poor taste, and he... i don't like his role at automattic, tbc) but like. he's nearly 70. he helped shape the modern internet and develop its accessibility standards. he has often put his neck on the line for disabled staff who don't have as much clout as he does. given the financial troubles he talks about and the state of this market and how old he is, i personally have read between the lines of what he's saying in a particular way.

fuck, man. i'm sad. i'm sad for all my friends who are creaking under the strain and watching others leave but who can't do that. i'm sad that many of them are left in teams which are half-empty or divisions where significant senior leadership are just gone, with no time to document what they had in progress.

i'm sad for Josepha Haden Chomphosy, the former executive director of the WordPress Foundation, who was dealing with a personal emergency and ended up having to miss WordCamp US (where Matt started publicly starting shit with WPE). she came back from that to a gigantic fire in the community she's invested a decade of careful, Matt-negotiating, stewardship to, and decided to take the severance offer. she deserved better.

other things Matt's been up to

mostly linking to comments or posts which compile things here, bc it's too scattered otherwise.

blocking people from the official WordPress X account if they disapprove of his actions.

publicly talking about a vulnerability in ACF, a plugin WPE maintains, which could put thousands of sites at risk. this is not normal, and he met with so much horror even from current staff that he deleted his post.

saying he comes across badly because he's "a little ASD", which is driving me personally up the fucking wall. he's never once said it before and he really is turning into Temu Elon.

generally bragging that he still has more planned. jesus fucking christ

continually saying that WPE's suit is against WordPress.org and the community, which is not true. on which note, his pinned tweet is certainly something:

his choice of lawyer is uh. the kind of guy to defend nestle against literal child slaves.

as always, while i think WordPress crumbling will disproportionately affect websites in poorer parts of the world, there are certainly tyrants who are causing much more immediate and potent suffering. if you've read this far, please do send anything you have spare to gazafunds.com.

[theothernads]

.𖥔 ݁ ˖•─ ❛❛ ᶜʰᵃᵖᵗᵉʳ ²⁸ : 𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 ❞ ˖ . ݁𝜗𝜚. ݁₊

── ִֶָ𐀔 ❛❛ 𝐓𝐰𝐨 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐅𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 ❞ ₊⁺ — (𝐘.𝐉𝐖)

ִֶָ࣪☾. SYNOPSIS: ₊˚⊹♡ : With the third magical academic year starting, you and Jungwon plan to have a normal school year and complete many goals. Except, you have to earn Enchantix with your frequent burn-outs, and Jungwon wants to become a full-fledged warrior and push past his anxiety. With their own goals in mind, they feel like 2 idiots that keep meeting by chance. However, when mysterious events threaten the magical kingdoms and schools, the specialists and fairies have to figure out the culprit and save the magical universe. But fate has other plans for their adventures and for your ‘coincidental’ meeting with Jungwon.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ ╰┈➤𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝: 𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚗 (comment or give an ask) 𐙚

W.c: 1.44k ִֶָ࣪☾. << M.LIST >> • ♥︎

━━━━━━━━━━━━━˚₊‧꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱‧₊˚━━━━━━━━━━━━━

YOU WERE VERY EXTRA.

You knew that. But the physical manifestation of it was when you crafted hand-made invitations to your birthday party with perfect calligraphy that were identical to each other in one damn sitting. The colour was a perfect metallic blend of violet and magenta used with the most perfect fountain pen you preserved for these types of situations.

A little extra but you would take this over looking at the Internet and the bomb of insults that was dropped today, yesterday, and the week before that, too.

Except, who were you kidding?

Just because you locked away the Internet, it didn't mean that the whispers, glances, and giggles went away when you walked to class or back to your dorm.

That was the worst part.

Alfea was supposed to be a safe space to grow your powers and socialise for once. Also, your mother wasn't here.

But now, it seemed impossible to seek any of that because it turned into the students’ gossip sessions where you were on the podium. So, the only logical thing to do was to ignore the rumors as if they were dust.

Easy. Right?

You thought so but when you were in Potionology with Leerae, doing your project, the vibes… were off.

Or a more rational way to say that she gave constructed smiles, rehearsed, and something you could easily see through. Did you call her out? Absolutely not.

The thought of even doing that was socially crushing, and when the flowers in your hair tinted greyish purple, you said the classic, “just tired.”

Bringing you to your current situation where you were trying to give her an invitation because if Jungwon was coming, she had to as well.

Leerae was packing up her book and pencil case into her white bag, silent, avoidant. You gulped down the anxiety no matter how it clawed into your throat, and stepped towards her.

“Hey, um, I just wanted to give you something,” you began saying, holding the invites to your chest. She glanced once, lips unmoving and continued packing her bag. Then, to your chest where the pile was located.

“Oh. Okay.” She turned her body only forty-five degrees but her hands stayed fixated on her bag, ready to dash at the next second. Another screw bolted in your shoulders.

“An… an invite. Um, to my birthday,” you said, handing her one and she took it, scanning over your calligraphy as if it was odd, and then gave another built smile. It made your chest tighten and burn.

“Thanks, I'll see if I can make it,” she said with a shrug and hooked her bag on her shoulder, eyes distant again.

“I hope you can,” you said with the slightest plain tone. About ten percent plain but the other ninety was a blossom of your… cordial heart.

“Yeah, it's just all the investigations and stuff. My mother is stressed out, so you know, I'm stressed out,” she added, flicking her peach bangs out her eyes but it didn't obscure her slight distaste. You bit your inner cheek, embarrassed but you knew you shouldn't even have an ounce of it. It wasn't your fault some silly secretary signed a dodgy deal and caused a major national disruption.

“Right.” You followed her out of the classroom, your backpack slung over and you let the invitations turn into pink and green dust to store them away.

She walked through the hallways as did you. But you gripped the strap of your bag a little too tightly. People glanced and then murmured again. You ignored it with a clenched jaw, following her outside to the courtyard. She turned her gaze again.

“But hey, I will try. I wouldn't miss a party, you know?” Leerae said, contemplating it with a wander of her gaze. It didn't ease the anchor off your chest, but you smiled again.

“Good…” Your eyes strayed when you saw a certain black head of hair sauntering over, his feline gaze catching yours like a magnet, drawing you into the honey cave that was his eyes.

Jungwon.

Oh no. You didn't want to be near him. All that bitterness sprung in your head again, intruding on every patch of composure you tried to stitch down.

Leerae followed your gaze and saw him and beamed as if she had hit a one-eighty. Her steps bounced as she approached him and hugged him with her arms hooked around his neck. And, from what you could see, he did try and melt into it. His eyes fluttered shut, a comforting hand resting on her back.

Your heart twisted, another bitter screw bolting into your muscles.

“Oh gosh, I completely forgot our date!” She exclaimed when she departed from the proximity.

A date. Even better. You stood there awkwardly, kicking the nonexistent pebble out of your path.

“It's fine. I'll wait,” he said with the understanding that pulled on your strings even more. Fuck your life.

“Let me put my bag away.” She grinned, patting his shoulder and spinning on her heels to run off past you as if you were never there in the first place. Then, it was just you. And him.

Jungwon moved first, closer and with his fingers dug into the pockets of his trousers. Black trousers, you noted. You didn't meet his gaze, but you couldn't get yourself to move either.

“You went out with Sunghoon Hyung,” he said softly, and your heartbeat spiked at the memory of it. When you glanced up, he was waiting with something patient but the eagerness bled into his gaze.

Oh. Sunghoon. You remember it. “Oh that… Sunghoon just took me out for brunch or whatever. And he was showing me around Magix.”

Jungwon held back something, you know it. The way his brows creased and lips parted in confusion, but he locked it away.

“For what?” He asked gently once more and it didn't help the bitter screw digging into your chest.

“Just… just because the world has been crazy lately,” you said quietly and remembered that you cried in front of both men about the demeaning articles ripping your character to shreds and feeding it to the public like you didn't matter.

His shoulders deflated, but he stepped closer. “You know they're all bullshit,” he uttered. You smiled bitterly, just a little.

“Yeah, well, they like bullshit.” You met his gaze and the previous distaste faded when he listened with such… intrigue, as if he wanted to solve it. But no. You paused your warmth that began to take place and forced your gaze to the courtyard. “And because my birthday is coming up.”

Jungwon blinked, wanting to say more but your eyes flashed with remembrance.

“Ah, right. Um…” You laid out your palms beside each other and pulled on the strings of your magic, pink and green sparkles gathering in the heart of your hands to form the birthday invite. Jungwon couldn't help but stare even though he knew fairies had the most incredible skills. His gaze softened.

“Birthday invite,” you said, smiling tightly as you held it out. You want to ignore your emotions, the yearn digging into your skin, but when Jungwon smiled and took it, his hands brushed yours and electricity tingled your knuckles to your elbows. You short-circuited.

With a sharp jerk, you pulled your hand away as if he burned you but he only instilled a new mark of want into your knuckles.

Jungwon raised an eyebrow, but he was distracted by the calligraphy drawn on the front. And yes, he was mesmerised. He smiled, fingers following the path of the words.

“Thank you.”

Your hand was still tingling and so were the thoughts in your brain, all of them colliding with each other until you were unable to process. He stared at your blank face before you blinked again and just gave a small smile.

“Okay, let's go to Earth!” A voice broke out from behind you. Leerae jogged past you to hold Jungwon's arm, and he didn't pull away. That snapped you out of it.

“You're going to the Earth dimension?” You asked quietly, suppressing the prickles growing in your chest. As if she had noticed you again, Leerae turned and nodded with a joyful smile, squeezing his arm. He smiled as well.

“Yeah, somewhere new, you know?” She shrugged and then glanced once more at your stiff figure. “I should take you some time!”

It was a courteous invitation—a way to include you but to also forget you as well. You nodded rigidly, petals returning to the greyish purple, but she already turned around and Jungwon and her sauntered away.

As if they were the perfect couple.

─────────────────────────────────

━━━━━━━━━━━━━˚₊‧꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱‧₊˚━━━━━━━━━━━━━

<< M.LIST >>

ִֶָ࣪☾. [NOTES]: hehe, double update!😧💕

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ REBLOGS, LIKES+ COMMENTS are appreciated<3

╰┈➤𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝: 𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚗 (comment or give an ask)

© 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗻𝗮𝗱𝘀

ଓ༉‧.⭒ֶָ֢⋆.𓂃 ִֶָ𐀔

˖ . ݁𝜗𝜚. ݁₊[TAGLIST]: @dreamiestay @m3l4nchol @n1k1mura @wensurr @jiiyen @jwonistic @lolallure @sol3chu @firstclassjaylee @luumiinaa @xwonz @vixialuvs @simjaeyunlvrclub @bubblytaetae @wondoras @sievenderz @iboughtnjz @starniras @fackeraccount @kristynaaah @menaretrashsworld

[thewalrusespublicist]

Love Story in Songs book talk discussion.

So i mentioned that I went to the book talk out of curiosity and I thought I'd do a write-up.

Note: I should have taken notes whoops. This is all from dodgy memory please forgive me. I know others were there and if they want to chime in/correct me on some stuff feel free!

First off, I thought the speaker Tom Holland did a great job of steering the conversation. Overall the chat was quite a basic overview of stuff general tumblr users already know but it seems general audience don't (basic bitches who don't know about Paris smh). Really enjoyed the discussion on Penny Lane and Strawberry fields. The break-up was discussed and some light India-truthing but not in a Paul rejected John way but that John happened to be having a breakdown and Paul leaving didn't help.

Ian Leslie pointed out that he didn't think that considering Paul's personality he would have worked on Now and Then for so long if he didn't think it was about him. I don't entirely agree but I took the point and thought it was funny. Don't fully agree with his take on Paul in general but that's for the book review.

One thing I found fascinating and I mentioned in my other post was how gung-ho Tom Holland was about McLennon and how nervous Ian Leslie was to bring it up and fully discuss it. He eventually did come out and say that he thought John was into Paul and was a lot more firm on John being confused about his sexuality then he is in the book. One thing that did jump out as a logical issue was the whole 'oblivious Paul' thing. There's oblivious, and then there's denser than a black hole. I can believe that Paul was oblivious to certain things as anecdotes and accounts do point to that, but to the extent that Ian Leslie states? No, and I don't believe he fully believes it either (though that was just a feeling from a response in the Q+A).

The McLennon girlie Tom Holland thing (can't get over that lmao) though did highlight though that even if the book doesn't go as explicitly there, the reader can and will draw their own independent conclusion. I think from what I've read so far anyone who does read the book and doesen't have suspicions to some extent is just willfully blind at this point.

Q+A:

I wanted to ask a question about the demos but didn't have the guts. Kicking myself and my shyness now.

I forget how uninformed the general population are. There was one question about how they were meant to be really close in 67' but they stopped working together in 66'. At the end I also heard someone in the audience be a bit snide about 'why would John work with Paul in the late 70's, he was busy with Sean OBVIOUSLY'. I don't know why i expect them to have obsessive knowledge lmao but those comments kind of point out why the book is needed.

Some more Mclennon focused questions were asked but not properly answered. To the girl with the India question, girl that was not your fault that they didn't pick up what you were throwing down. Ian knew exactly what you meant he was just being a coward lol.

King shit from person asking about the beetles fucking on Ram. How Ian didn't immediately know about that is beyond me Ian please consult your tumblr reading material again for next pop quiz.

Someone pointed out the sonnet thing in the lyrics book (didn't know that!) which both speaker and author were far more receptive too but again I think too uncertain to go into it but did do a coy assent. Mixed response from the audience around me to those questions that kind of made me realise why they might be towing the line to try to keep whole audience on side.

Something that struck me from some of the questions and has struck me before is how quickly people in outside tumblr convo jump from referring to Linda and Yoko as just 'Linda and Yoko' to specifically calling them 'the loves of their lives' (often imho quite unnaturally) when John and Paul's closeness gets mentioned in detail. I'm not saying at all that Linda and Yoko weren't the LOTL, but its the immediate reflex to reinforce the bond with their wives as the ultimate that makes me think that people are still uncomfortable with the concept of male intimacy being so powerful that it could rival traditional het structures.

All-in-all an interesting night. I'm currently going through the book and will probably post a review soon. For now I will say that my feelings are ... very mixed but not entirely negative (all I'll say atm is George honey i am SO sorry).

[delaware-lemme-smash]

If requests are open, can I get fatgum falling for an information broker/hacker whos a girlboss? Stay hydrated !!

I got really into writing this—it was so fun!

Characters: Toyomitsu Taishiro/Fatgum

Contents: f!reader, criminal underworld stuff

Toyomitsu Taishiro/Fatgum

Though he's now a high profile Pro Hero (trying saying that three times fast), Fatgum got his start working closely with the police to foil drug-trafficking gangs (both the regular and Quirk-enhancing kind). He's not an underground hero like Eraserhead, but he has connections with various useful elements of the underworld.

As an information broker and (suspected, never proven) hacker, you stand in a legal and moral grey area between law enforcement and the criminal element. Whether you sway toward one or the other depends on who is paying the most, or who has the best information or services to exchange.

Your life is a careful balancing act of not aiding or antagonising one side more than the other. You don't want to be arrested, and you also don't want to be murdered in a back alley. It's all a game of chess, thinking six moves ahead and carefully watching the board.

You are very, very good at what you do. Your hacking? Untraceable. You're a digital ghost. Your dealings with cops and criminals alike should be a study in psychological manipulation. They always end up giving you more intel than what they came for, usually without realising it. You have to weigh risk and probability, have to measure your clients' egos against their needs.

Naturally, you've built quite the catalogue of blackmail material against all the big players, stuff that's too juicy to sell unless someone crosses you. That gang member that threatened to kill you? Suddenly there was a file of all his dodgy crypto dealings on a police captain's desk. Wonder how that got there?

You've earned yourself quite the reputation as this shadowy figure, so it must come as quite a surprise when a walking fucking ball of sunshine with takoyaki crumbs on his costume gets in contact with you. He's not the grim, noir-style detectives you're used to dealing with on the legitimate side to your business.

"Hey, Madam Info Broker," he says, casual and almost cheerful, "I hear you might be able to find something out for me. If you don't know it already, of course. They say you're good, but are you that good?"

Despite his jovial personality, Fatgum is surprisingly shrewd. You've never dealt with him before, but it's apparent he's used to dealing with people like you. You swiftly adjust your opinion of him.

As it turns out, you do have the information he needs—a list of names and affiliations of a minor Yakuza branch—so you give it to him for a slight discount, all the while lying that it's a special offer for a new client. Fatgum laughs, and you know he doesn't believe you.

"Remember me next time you need something," you tell him. "As long as you've got something to give me in exchange."

"Damn right I will."

Things carry on that way for a while, giving each other strategic bits of information. It should be a simple, transactional relationship, but somehow you come away from the crime talk and rapid-fire banter feeling strangely warm.

You'd never consider allowing a client to become a friend. Of course not.

Then one day you get an unusual request—Fatgum asks you to look into a particularly dodgy landlord, without specifying why. Some digging turns up all kinds of shady dealings and fraud, all of which you turn over to Fatgum. He pays quickly this time, no jokes, no banter, no calling you "Madam Hacker".

A week later, a story hits the headlines about how a popular local family restaurant was saved from closure after it was exposed that their landlord was extorting them and dozens of other small businesses in buildings that weren't up to code.

"Really?" you ask Fatgum. "You could've got any local keyboard jockey to dig that stuff up. It'd be a lot cheaper, too."

He grins. "Yeah, but no one is as good at it as you are. Besides, they're friends and they have a baby on the way." He pats his stomach. "And they do really great takoyaki."

"You're such a bleeding heart."

"You should come by for dinner. They want to meet you."

For once, you're flabbergasted. "You told them about me?"

"They knew I had to get the info from someone. I'm the action guy, not the tech savvy guy. C'mon, what do you say? You'll get to feel like a hero for once. I'll even buy ya dinner."

Every instinct and lick of sense tells you to say no, to keep yourself apart from this big, yellow goofball.

"I'll judge their takoyaki for myself," you say. "You're biased."

Fatgum grins at your answer.

Things just keep going downhill from there.

[mischiefandlies]

Bloody shopping trips...

Masterlist Not so much Loki x Reader as Loki and Thor are imbeciles.

Notes: My best friend is Jamacian and she said she couldn't always understand people with thick English accents, and it got me thinking... yh, anyways. Reader has periods, enjoy.

Warnings: none??? I think??

You had been feeling bloody awful recently, your cramps were bloody horrible, and being away from the tower and back home in London, you hadn't got anything in your flat. So, you had sent Loki on a very basic mission; to find you some pads. Thrilling endeavour. It was by sheer misfortune that Thor had decided to tag along, seeming to have misinterpreted your word mission as an actual mission and not a trip to the shops. And so, it was with a heavy heart and an insufferable fool by his side that Loki made his way to the shops.

"I do not like the automated doors brother." Thor says as they walk in. "How am I to know who is opening them?"

Lord above it's going to be a long day… "They're automated Thor. No one is opening them."

"Ah! I see. See, these electronics are ever so complicated brother. Why, t'was only the other day Stark was informing me of the complexities of el-ekt-ro-mig-na-tismsm, the human magic that keeps his suit together….." Loki's tuned out at this point. Blessed norns, Thor couldn't shut up if you sewed his lips together. It's the most irritating ailment to have while trying to get around the shops. He manages to shut up for long enough that Loki finds one of the employees.

"Excuse me miss-" He says, gently tapping the lady on the shoulder. Come on, you were at home waiting, and he couldn't bare to leave you home alone, not when he knew you were in pain.

The lady turned around- well, lady would be a stretch. The girl was barely out of her teens, with violently yellow badly bleached hair, and skin as orange as- what was his name? Some fool in a white house who Steve had been complaining about for his "anti-american-ness". Either way, she had much the same skin tone, with eyebrows that looked like a black slug had plonked itself above her eyes and left an imprint. Regardless, he just smiled politely and asked "you wouldn't happen to know where the female sanitary items are?"

Loki didn't think it would be possible for her to look any more disdainfully at the two brothers. She turns to face him, pulls out two white pieces of plastic from her ears- you told Loki that they were for people to listen to music on the go, which he found absurd, but then he could just tune things out with his magic -and addresses them. "Wot d’you want tho, coz I was literally just standin’ here."

Well, that's umm… something not covered by Allspeak. He glances back at Thor, who is currently halfway through a baguette, and going to be of absolutely no use when dealing with- wait. They haven't paid for that. He swipes it out of his brother's hands, leaving the blond completely confused. "Thor! You can't do that on Midgard. They require payment."

He just rolls his eyes, like the whole thing is obvious. "I know that brother, I was merely snacking- these french batons are an excellent food source, and Miss Pots told me many times one should never go shopping on an empty stomach."

"Miss Pots has access to Tony's credit card, and does not shop in 'Lidl', so please refrain from your munching." Loki snapped back.

"Na, it's fine innit."

Both brothers whip around to spot the speaker. It was the shop assistant from before. It's Thor who speaks to her this time though, perhaps he's have a better chance at a reasonable response. "I beg your pardon?"

She manages to pipe up again, in something recognisably English but also an absolute linguistic phenomena. “Oh my god yeah no bruv, one even cares if you nick it ‘cause like the security is well dodgy innit, and the cameras don’t even work, yeah, like literally I nick stuff all the time — like the other day I got a whole meal deal and a fake tan and no one even said nuffin’. An' I only got caught once cuz this well leng mans was chattin' wi me and 'e said if you go out back door it don't count cuz alla drivers go out there to have a fag an' smoke pot, so they don't check the camera.”

The two of them have to take a minute to recover from the astounding poetry that is the English language, but Loki shakes it off the first, and again tries to locate your necessary shopping. "Right. Well, I'm looking for something I'm actually intending to pay for. Would you happen to know where the feminine sanitary products are?"

It seems there's a language barrier. "A wot?"

"Feminine hygiene products?"

"A woT?"

"Umm… menstrual products?"

"A WOT?"

"Sweet norns…" Loki tries once more, now slowly reaching the end of his rope. "A pad, for a woman while she goes through menstruation. You know, bleeding from the vagina?"

"Ohhh, say less fam, say less." It seems they've gotten through to her. Finally…. "It’s over there, on the left, yeah but like you could’ve looked bruv."

"Thank you." Honestly, it's like pulling teeth… the two brothers find their way to the aisle for period products. Loki scours the shelves for the kind you normally have, while Thor trails behind, baguette in hand, happily munching. Unfortunately, he finishes the baguette before Loki has found the required packet, and manages to make himself a complete waste of air. "Brother… your lady love is… bleeding?"

"Yes Thor. Happens every mooncycle."

"… will she live?"

Exasperated doesn't cover it. "Of all Yggdrasil's root's Thor, and I have to be stuck with you and your-" the chaos God is cut off (rather abruptly) by the sight of his brother holding back tears. Uggghhhh… everything has to be so bloody complicated, doesn't it. "No, Thor, she will live. She is merely going through a human phase of menstruation. She is not present only because it causes abdominal cramps and mild suffering from unpredictable pain."

Thor, seems mildly pacified by this and probes again, wiping the tears from his eyes and taking a big sniff. "Brother, what is this mens-tutu-ation you speak of? I have heard no such thing."

Perhaps there's a better way to word in than the way Loki actually does, but nonetheless… "Tis merely a state female Midgardians are in once a month wherein their internal organs responsible for procreating disintegrate and must exit the body via the vaginal hole."

Thor (understandably, when faced with the words "organ" and "disintegrate") panics. "So she IS dying?!"

You'd've thought Jane might've educated him, but clearly they weren't together long enough… Loki hisses back, unwilling to make a scene in the middle of this 'Lidl'. The last thing he wants is the lady buying milk in her pyjamas to start judging him. "No, Thor! It's only because she's not pregnant. Her body has spent time preparing things for the baby that must now go to waste because she is not pregnant."

Thor appears, once again, to have found himself deserted of all brain cells. "Well why did you not get her pregnant?"

"What?"

"Why did you not get her pregnant?" He reiterates. "Loki, you should not let her body's preparations go to waste. If I were to hear my love we're aching every mooncycle for a child, he body becoming ready each time for a mans seed to take root, surely I would've given her one by now, else her body may decide not to bother when the time truly does come, and then you would be stuck…….."

Loki appears too floored by the weird, dystopian logic his brother presents, and to be honest, arguing with Thor is much the same as arguing with a toddler- a waste of fucking time. Tuning him out is much easier, and he has had years to practice the art. He finally finds the shelf with your pads and walks off, letting Thor prattle about the intricacies of pregnancy behind him. He walks up to the tills, ready to pay, when he realises he recognises the cashier. Shit. "Thor, turn around."

"Why?"

"Thor, just turn-"

Unfortunately, it was too late. "Yuol rai'?"

What in Odin's beard… "I'm sorry?"

"A sai' yuol raight?"

"We are most excellent, thank you Lady!" Thor's voice boomed out, as he smiles towards the (still violently orange) cashier. Blessed Norns, this was NOT ideal. "We are merely in need of assistance purchasing these anti-mestututtuaion products."

"…Right. Innit." She looks about as confused as Loki, who has to actively restrain himself from slamming the pads on the counter. She puts it all through the till and looks up at him expectantly.

"And a baguette." he adds, shooting Thor a dirty look.

"Ah, just gis the bag, I'll stow it. Anyfing for the well leng one." she says. Not entirely certain of what she plans on doing, Thor hands over the bag, which she promptly stashes in the gap between the tills, before looking up at Thor, biting her lip. It might be seductive if it wasn't nauseating. "Ain't you the one wot crashed inno a buildin' or summit on telly?"

Thor, having met fans of his before (usually screaming boys that wanted him to pick them up and fly- Loki was always loathe to be there when it happened) perks up at the recognition. "Ah! Yes, you would be correct, I did indeed crash into a building multiple times. Why do you ask?"

"An' mans got no fucking scratches or nuffing from scrapping innit. My guy…" she says, eyeing him. Ogling doesn't cover it, she was practically undressing him with her eyes. Loki could barely watch for gagging, though Thor (being Thor) was blissfully unaware so it seemed.

He picked up the bag and left them to it, the whole thing getting irritating, though he could hear something in the background about "hammers" and "Peng ting". He was going home, with or without them, to you, his love, who actually needed him and could probably explain whatever the fuck had just happened. He would be damned to see you alone and in pain any longer than strictly necessary. His beautiful mortal was alone bleeding and wounded by her own biology, and damn straight he was going to get back and help you. Knowing you you'd completely ignored his instructions to stay in bed. Maybe a hot water bottle and a bath for you… or he could make you a cuppa and you two could just curl up together… or perhaps, if you'd let him, he might try and magic your pain away, though the spells he'd been looking into were still rather complex…

Thor (unfortunately) caught up with him halfway back to yours.

[eroticcannibal]

As a parent, what's your take on the UK government's desire for all adults trying to access porn to have to use ID? I feel so against it for security reasons (I work in childcare so I don't want my ID linked to the porn I watch, I already feel nervous to be seen going into sex shops and such in my everyday life). But I know it's worrying that young teens are stumbling across porn online? (I mean, I don't think it actually did me any harm when I was a teen, but for other people they say it did).

Fully 100% against it.

First of all, it won't work. Even if you support invasions of privacy and restrictions of rights to "save the children", this should still be opposed because it won't work. There has never been any kind of limiting what kids view that works. Not ever. It will never exist. Kids are resourceful and curious. They will bypass it every time.

The dark side of *that* is the more you have to get round protective measures, the more dangerous the spaces you end up in. Linking back to that previous anon with how to find even some quite normie kink stuff you've got to look in dodgier places, the same happens here too. Yes, pornhub will block you. Any reputable site will block you until you show ID. Think what sites are fine with breaking the law. That's where kids will go.

I'm also incredibly worried about what kids will share among themselves, given the current issue with more and more kids in telegram groups sharing quite dodgy shit and sometimes even illegal things, including images of their peers. I can imagine if it's harder to get on to pornhub, that will only get worse.

More of a parenty opinion but I also firmly believe that things should, as much as is reasonable and possible, be framed as shouldn't rather than banned. A kid who has a bad time in a situation they aren't allowed to participate in, especially if it involves breaking the law, is less likely to seek help. I've already had to jump this hurdle with the child, I've always been "shouldn't" regarding porn and explained why as well as been clear about what the law is, when would be appropriate, how to stay safe etc. When they've crossed a line, they've told me and we could deal with it. And they were quite young when this happened, but they haven't suffered all the ills people worry about because we were able to handle it, and it was experienced on top of a strong foundation about appropriate behaviour and why it is important. Now they know to stick to their T rated batfam fics.

And then because it's the UK we need to worry about the fact that PERFECTLY MORAL AND CONSENSUAL sexual activity is criminalised here, and at least some of that is illegal to view if too "realistic" (which is not legally defined). I'm very much not a fan of the idea of making it easier to enforce such laws.

And then yeah privacy god can you imagine a data leak and now everyone knows what you watch. Yikes.

It is also entirely invalidated by VPNs, making the entire thing a pointless exercise.

I really think we need to move away from hiding all the sex from the people experiencing their bodies demanding sex related experiences, we all know what puberty is like, we all know they will find an outlet, and leaving them to work that out for themselves is what is dangerous. Really working out as a society where the line is, what it *is* ok for them to view and when and encouraging healthy and age appropriate explorations of sex let's them know what they *can* do. Like, it's the basic parenting tactic, a kid will always struggle with "don't do x" because it's harder to process the negative. They will succeed easier if you instead tell them what they can do. That's a clear instruction.

[noel-levine-fan]

guess what babbyyyyy

day 1: fairytale / bar

yeah thats right sirinoel week and i decided to torture myself by drawing both prompts every day

notes under the cut

fairytale concept notes: i know sirinoel + fairytale is ripe for cinderella stuff but i just needed an excuse to post about my little mermaid au so bad (well, loosely inspired by little mermaid au). i know it doesn't really come across that this is that au within the illustration i chose to make and that something involving a mermaid noel would have made it more clear but i like my human design for him more so lmao. (well i had a better outfit design for him in mind but i couldn't find where i initally drew it so i just bs'd it. still.) besides that i struggled to come up with an interesting scene but realized i wanted to do something with them by the dock, but i won't elaborate further, i'll leave it to your imagination

art notes: i can't draw backgrounds yall it looks half decent if you squint but only if you squint. basically traced the outlines of this pic for the bg. also because the light source was blue i thought i'd try making the highlights cooler and the shadows warmer (whereas i usually do the opposite) but it looks like dogshit, yet it still came out better than i thought it would

bar concept notes: hardly original to put them in bar whimsy, but this was almost an idea for a "reprise" on the original bar whimsy scene. the original scene showed noel wanting to know more about what happened to sirius, so the idea for this is some timeline after that (well, it's not really possible because it happened in bonus stage, the only timeline after that is timeline 10,000, which i assume they wouldn't do anything like this in any of the conclusions but shhh alternate universe) is one where sirius is instead asking about noel - kind of putting a balance to it, as noel has always been learning new things about sirius, but sirius doesn't properly ever get to learn that much about noel, but i feel like he probably would want to know. plus noel is pretty dodgy about answering questions too directly about what's going on with him and often gets interrupted before he ever really has to explain so i'd like to see how he handles being asked directly without interruptions.

art notes: the new hair shading style is hit or miss depending on how i draw the light chunks and i didn't do it very well for sirius's hair there but didn't feel like redrawing it, so... also i feel like you'd think the background would be easier to draw but nope it just doesn't give the same vibes

---

additonal: i drew sketches including basic grayscale coloring for each day in advance because i knew i couldn't do it all at once but even still i might not actually end up posting consistently due to health issues (yippee), i imagine i'll get all the drawings done but whether or not within the confines of the challenge is another question. i know i could've just chosen one for each day but i already did all the sketches for everything so LOL

[suzukiblu]

Further adventures in "kidnapping your soulmate for fun and profit" for @twird96.

"You did good with that guy who wrecked the street," Tim says, putting on Smiling Normal Civilian Face #2, which is a little more reserved than #4. Superboy turns red again.

"Technically I also wrecked the street," he says, looking embarrassed.

"It was already a wreck when you got there," Tim snorts. Property doesn't mean shit next to people. "And this way nobody died or got hurt too bad."

"You helped with that part," Superboy says, still red-faced. "Made it a lot easier to keep everybody safe with somebody who was thinking straight about getting them all out of the way, like I said. It's hard to, uh–concentrate on that many at once, you know?"

"Keeping track of where all the civilians are has to be a pain in a fight," Tim agrees, though he tries to make it sound more like he's following Superboy's logic than already fully aware of the vitality of situational awareness from his own vigilante gig. Superboy blinks, cocking his head.

"Oh–no, that part's easy," he says. "I can feel everybody. It's just, uh . . . actively spreading my TTK out that much? I gotta concentrate a lot harder. So it's just way easier when nobody's in the line of fire."

Tim . . . pauses. Tilts his head. He is, technically, aware of how Superboy's tactile telekinesis works, but that sounded like . . .

"Sorry," he says. "You had everybody there in your TTK field?"

"Mostly," Superboy says. "Like I said, it's hard to concentrate on that many people, especially if they're running around in a panic."

"Why would you split your focus like that?" Tim asks, a little mystified. Though he guesses this explains how Superboy noticed what he was doing without ever actually looking at him, come to think. "Doesn't it weaken your powers?"

"Well, yeah, but that dude was blowing up the whole street, man," Superboy says, making a face. "Somebody could've gotten shrapneled or something."

It occurs to Tim, slowly, that the amount of injured civilians really wasn't as high as it should've been, and in fact most of the injuries he did see had most likely been caused in the initial attack. So that means . . .

Oh.

. . . huh.

"Huh," he says. "I didn't realize that was something you could do."

"I try not to advertise it," Superboy says sheepishly. "So, uh, bad guys won't start going after civilians harder when I'm fighting 'em. Or pick crowded areas to pick fights in."

"I was under the impression that you advertised most of what your powers can do," Tim says wryly, though again, he did get that impression from stolen files and cheap magazines.

"Well, yeah," Superboy says with an awkward shrug. "Otherwise people don't think I'm doing anything. Like, that I'm just punching stuff or whatever. Uh, so–how long are you in town for, then?"

"Just for the day," Tim says while making further mental re-evaluations of his soulmate. And it's an admittedly terrible cover, but–"I'm flying back to Gotham on a redeye. I just dropped in to get some time to myself, but I've got school on Monday and a paper to write for it. You know how it is."

"Not so much, man, I don't do that," Superboy says, and Tim . . . pauses, again.

"You don't . . . what, go to school?" he asks.

"Naw," Superboy says. "On account of supervillains attack it when I do."

"So you're home-schooled?" Tim assumes, trying not to cringe at the idea of Rex Leech teaching Superboy math or economics or anything even vaguely in that wheelhouse. That cannot possibly end well.

"Naw," Superboy repeats with another shrug. "Got superhero shit to do. And also, like, brand deals to do. Not really my thing anyway."

. . . Tim is reminded, again, that Superboy is not in fact legally a person and is therefore not in any way protected by labor laws, and Rex Leech and every single dodgy opportunist he's been selling Superboy's likeness to probably knows that. Not even the laws intended for civilians or metahumans or minors or animals would apply, in fact.

Fuck.

The next six months of this kidnapping plot are going to be an agonizing wait, Tim's already realizing.

Fuuuuuck.

[ominus-potato]

Hi, just wanted some advice about fanfics on ao3, how do you write them? and how can I make my one shot fic impactful for the readers. I'm planning on making a fic but since it's my first time making I kinda don't know where to start.. It's fine if you don't know though! just thought of asking cause you're writing's really good imo.

Sneak peak of the next part of the Pining Mario series at the end!

Well when I write, I don’t do it on AO3. I draft my work on Wattpad and then cross-post it to AO3. This is because AO3 is a bit more complicated, can be dodgy with saving works and only work when I have Wi-Fi. With Wattpad, I can write offline which is very helpful. Some people also draft on google docs so there’s that as well.

In terms of ACTUAL writing, there are two ways to leave an impression on the reader. There’s the way liked with angst, pain and maybe a bit of comfort; and there’s the way of making a story so sickeningly sweet that the reader is gushing over every cute moment. The length of the story also plays a factor. If it’s under 4000 I’d recommend avoiding angst bc you don’t have much time to set it up and at it off effectively.

Personally, I pretty much never write angst unless I genuinely believe it’ll make a story better. I’ve read fics before where the author will just throw in a shit ton of angst for no reason other than to make the reader feel bad for the mc and it just feels really cheap. It’s hard to do angst right and it’s really tempting to just give everyone a super fucked up backstory and make them depressed or something but imo it’s just overdone to the point of exhaustion. It can make a story depressing and no longer a fun read.

Whenever I write angst, it’s a small part of a mostly fluff-filled story. Take the pining Mario series for example. 19,000 words of silly pining hyjinx with a few small drops of angst. Then have the angst bubble over a little in Shots and Cowboys, Mario has a small breakdown since we’ve been keeping up with the story from his perspective mostly. That then allows me to forward the story and give character a new motivation.

If youre going to use angst to get an emotional reaction, you MUST have good set up and pay off. Especially if it’s a longer story. Also, you don’t have to do this, but I’d recommend against adding angst unless it’s necessary. Don’t just throw it in there Willy nilly yk?

If you wanna know how I do my stories, I really enjoy making them sweet and adorable with a little bit of drama and comedy. Like “Love is not a foreign language” where it’s just Mario and Mr Puzzles being adorable as hell for 6000 words. Then the drama comes when Puzzles reveals he can understand Mario and that only leads to more cutesy love.

A lot of it comes down to the story you’re trying to tell and how you want your reader to react. When I write a story, I want my readers to be invested in the drama and rising tensions, enjoying the little spurts of comedy here and there and ultimately, finding the main ship really cute in the end. I try to make people happy with my work bc I write the kinda stuff I would love to read! Because if I would read it, someone else definitely would.

Also, I feel like I must add that I have only ever written ship stories. If you wanted advice on stories in general with no shipping then I wouldn’t really know how to advise you on that. I love relationships between characters. Whether it’s ships or friendships. It’s my favourite part of any fandom so it’s where I specialise in my work.

Sorry I don’t really have like a plan or anything. I just keep it all in my head, know a few plot points I want to hit, and write to them. I try to get around 3-5 plot points for my longer stories and then just 1 or maybe 2 for the shorter ones. I sometimes add them as I go if I think it’ll make the story better!

For example, my plot points in Shots and Cowboys were:

•Mario tries to buy Puzzles a drink

•Mario and Mr Puzzles are interrupted by Wren and Mario is jealous

•Mario and Wren do something to fight for Puzzles’ affection (IE, play pool)

•Mario looses Puzzles to Wren, sees them kiss and is devastated.

•Mr Puzzles thinks that Mario is heartbroken over SMG4 and promises to help him move on.

Then if I get any smaller points like certain ships, lines, dynamics or interactions I wanna add I just sprinkle them in where I can.

I don’t really have much advice outside of that. I tend to just think of a scene or an idea I’d love to write and then more ideas pop up around it. It’s just one major point that gets built around. IE, Mario being jealous was the premise of SAC purely just because there were a few jealous Puzzles stories and I wanted to see if I could switch the dynamic.

Sorry for the long wall of text. I just wanna make sure it’s detailed enough for you. Just make it up as you go along and write what you wanna read. I re-read my stuff all the time because I genuinely enjoy what I write and it gives me exactly what I want. Have fun with it!

And if you’re worried about it being terrible, I’d advise you to read my old Lego Ninjago fanfiction that I wrote when I was 13. My god it was awful. But it shows development!

First story:

Latest story:

Enjoy that sneak peak of the next part of the Pining Mario series :D

[itsbenedict]

Games I Played In 2024 And Whether Or Not I Thought They Were Good (Part 2/4)

[1] - 2 - [3] - [4]

This time we're gonna open up with like, three different Ace Attorney fancases, because it turns out there's a lot of really good ones out there.

A Turnabout to El Dorado

DWaM doesn't miss. Years after a failed expedition to find the lost city of gold, one of the participants is murdered in a remote cabin in the woods. The accused is absolutely determined not to give Phoenix a single useful piece of information, largely because what actually happened has so many different layers of twist going on you would not believe it.

Also, you can get a piggyback ride from Dick Gumshoe, and that's only like the fourth or fifth greatest thing that happens in it. Very polished, edge-of-your-seat stuff.

The Torrential Turnabout

The tone and framing device of this one is really bizarre at first- it opens with this Zero Escape-ass deathgame situation, then pivots to Mia Fey solving a seemingly unrelated murder at a hospice, and everyone's being weirdly meta and out of character...

[pictured: YOU DON'T SAY.]

...but then, you realize what's going on, and it all makes sense, and everything is hilarious in hindsight. The case itself is incredible, too- apart from a slightly dodgy timed segment in part 6, the case logic all fits together elegantly and I didn't need a walkthrough too often. A great cast and clever writing bring it together into something incredible.

Turnabout in the Lighthouse of Lunacy

This one's nutty. The hook is that you're defending yourself against charges for a murder you totally do see yourself commit, on-screen, and you have to apply the classic Ace Attorney bullshitting and contradiction-seeking to get yourself off the hook when you are in fact guilty.

But that's not where it stops. In the course of picking at the contradictions you find, you uncover a truly insane web of additional bullshit hiding beneath the surface of a seemingly simple case that you saw happen. There is so much going on at this weirdass lighthouse auction, and it really lives up to the title. Extremely impressive case construction.

(I'd say it's... a little more disjointed than the other two? It's an original cast, with some character dynamics that seem to be either setting up a sequel or pulling from some other canon, and don't really go anywhere vis-a-vis the case, like the magic time-stop stuff or the history with the detective club. It's also one I had to go to the walkthrough well for a little more often than usual, as might be expected from the premise.)

Arzette: The Jewel of Faramore

Alright, getting away from AA fancases, here's my take on this one:

...Actually before the take: I'll tell you what it is. It is to the Zelda CD-i games what Bug Fables is to Paper Mario. A thorough style reproduction, featuring jankily-animated hand-drawn cutscenes, awkward voice acting, and uncomfortable comedy that stops just a hair shy of actually being funny (and that's what's funny about it.) They even got like, the original voice actors and stuff. It's a love letter to those games and seems designed from the ground up to be memed on. (In fact, there's a mod called Farcette that is a YTP'd version of the existing game, to complete the circle of life.)

Now the take: it's doing some weird stuff story-wise. It's really hard to tell when the awkwardness is on purpose, because that's like 90% of the art, but... it does feel like it kind of wants you to take Arzette seriously and think she's a cool heroine. And it does some things in service of that which are... strange choices?

The plot is that Arzette is the princess of a generic fantasy kingdom that gets menaced by an evil demon lord every [number with zeroes on the end] years and has to be sealed in a magic book using a magic jewel by the heir of the royal bloodline. Standard stuff. But then it... makes some weird, awkward stabs at subverting that standard stuff with clever plot twists? But they're... not. They kind of come out of nowhere and don't add anything.

First: Arzette's clever subversion of this cycle of demon lord stuff is "instead of sealing him in the magic book, just put the magic in a sword and kill the badguy!" And... like, it's really bending over backwards to frame "hero kills villain with a magic sword" as subversive. Like they made a fake Gordian Knot to make a show of cutting. The vibe is like, those "bad government? kill them" memes, just sort of espousing the idea that nonviolent solutions to problems are for naive libs who're just perpetuating the problem... but with a plot that's way too arch and goofy for that idea to stand up even if I agreed with it.

Second: Right at the very end, like in the last five seconds of the game, when Arzette is about to inherit the kingdom and become queen, she suddenly goes "actually no, we shouldn't have a monarchy. i declare we're a democracy now!" and everybody cheers and that's the end, fade to black. Which... would be perfectly fine, if that had been even slightly a theme beforehand. They didn't really depict the dinner king knockoff guy as bad in any way, and in fact tried to give him a genuinely emotional and bittersweet death scene. If it was trying to be anti-monarchist, it wasn't trying very hard!

That said, all of that is nitpicking. It's a perfectly fine game, doing what it set out to do with a ton of polish. It's fun, managed to get some big laughs out of me (the blacksmith quest is great), and it doesn't outstay its welcome, either- I 100%'d it in under four hours.

Slay the Princess

This one was fun! It's sort of... The Stanley Parable as a visual novel? You have a very simple quest: go into the basement and slay the princess chained up down there, or she'll destroy the world. But the variety of choices you have vis-a-vis the implementation of this straightforward quest gives rise to, like... I kind of don't want to spoil it, but it does some very spooky and effective meta stuff. Figuring out what the deal is with this princess and the narrator (played by the Magnus Archives guy) telling you to kill her is a good time.

I will say I was slightly disappointed by where it ended up? Just like, insofar as what the princess was thematically about seemed to be pushing in one direction, but then at the end it turned around and went in a different, slightly less interesting direction.

It's hard to say how much of that was an artifact of the choices I brought to the game, though- it's a thing that mutates and behaves very differently depending on how you play it. Worth a play!

Fire Emblem Engage

I did a whole big review of this one earlier this year, so here's that. The upshot is: it's mechanically probably the best FE I've played (besides the annoying monastery Somniel stuff), but the story is like, hilariously stupid. But it's stupid in a "wow, this isn't even trying, this is saturday morning cartoon shit" way, and not in an infuriating Fire Emblem Fates "please take us so so seriously as our idiot characters use tropes instead of brains to act out the dumbest tragedy we could think of" way. It's all impossible to take seriously, but it also doesn't care if you're taking it seriously, so it's not offensively bad.

Home Safety Hotline

This one I played primarily because the Game Grumps were so, so egregiously bad at it and I had to prove I could do better.

The premise is: you're a new hire for a help line, and take calls from homeowners having problems with minor pests. You listen to their issues, look up what the causes of those issues are in a database of common home safety risks, and send them dossiers of information. You win by accurately diagnosing their issues.

Also, it's a horror game and the "common home safety risks" include more and more SCP shit as you do well and unlock higher clearance.

It's... fine! It's fun. It works. What they should've done is spook the player with some weird stuff in their room or in the interface, and then later explain what kind of danger you've been in the whole time by unlocking an entry. That could've been scary and interesting! Instead it's only kind of scary and interesting. There's a few solidly fucked-up horrors in that database, and some chills when you identify a caller's problem and it becomes immediately apparently that it's too late for them, but largely you the player are insulated from all this.

(There's a metaplot about the safety corporation you're working for itself being a scary horror monster, but it doesn't really do anything interesting. It just goes "oooooh, your job is a spooky magic cult, aren't you scared of that??" and like. No not really.)

Murders on the Yangtze River

This is a very competently-executed murder mystery game! It has all the standard murder mystery game mechanics. But more interestingly, it's set in turn-of-the-century Qing Dynasty China, which isn't a setting I'd really read anything in before. It's very effective as a period piece, and I learned a lot! It's a little lacking in personality, but it manages to stay gripping regardless. I'd recommend it.

It is also... a weird piece of nationalist propaganda, though. Amusingly so. Explaining how would be spoilers, so here's a link to a separate post. Zero don't click on this until you've played it.

-

Like fifteen more of these to come. I played, uh, too many games this year.

[1] - 2 - [3] - [4]

[crusherthedoctor]

💛 💚

💛: What is a popular ship you just can’t get behind, and why?

Sonamy, predictably. Three decades worth of official material, fanfics, fanart, a month dedicated to it on this site, and I still feel nothing towards it, and in fact have been actively turned off by it for multiple reasons. Including: little consistency among fans over how it would function and thus making it hard to imagine the "true" dynamic, fans often neglecting Sonic's needs and seeing him as little more than a trophy that Amy has earned, official teasing in stuff like Boom and Prime requiring dodgy characterization in order to back it up...

Outside of Sonamy, as hinted at earlier, with me tending to be more interested in rarer Sonic ships, you could say that very few popular examples do it for me, with Sonaze being the only mainstream exception that comes to mind. Sonadow? Meh. Shadamy? Meh. Silvaze? Meh. Is it an oversaturation response? Is it because a lot of the time, they tend to use their pre-established popularity as a shortcut for not having to put effort into their actual chemistry together? Who knows.

Whispangle is particularly tragic, because in an alternate timeline, I think I could have enjoyed it. With what Tangle and Whisper were apparently set up to be as individuals, I think it could have been cute and perhaps even comforting in the right hands. But of course, like Starline's self-destructive simping for Eggman, the comic had other ideas, and so we're left with rampant flanderization and conjoined twins who ended up being more toxic together than the writers probably realised, not helped by them also having Lanolin the Sally alongside them.

Shame.

💚: What does everyone else get wrong about your favourite character?

I've already explained why Eggman being less evil than other Sonic villains is James Somerton levels of delusional, but it goes beyond that.

"Eggman is a family man" Nope, robots he built don't count. Excluding temporary allies and certain simps, he is very much a lone wolf compared to someone like Bowser, with even his thoughts on the late Gerald largely stemming from a selfish lens of the latter's genius making himself look good by association. Given his ego, he also probably wouldn't be interested in having a heir to his throne, because it's HIS empire, and ONLY his: he would just find a means to immortality instead.

"Eggman can't plan" If that were true, 95% of the game plots would never have happened. Using this to handwave shitty writing in a comic whose premise leaped off of Forces, a game where Eggman is constantly planning, is Mr. Fantastic levels of reaching. The intro cutscene for Unleashed, a moment that I'm pretty sure fans fondly reminisce over to this day, had a setup that specifically relied on the idea that Eggman can plan. If you're going to claim he can't plan because he makes some mistakes and ultimately loses to his nemesis, then you might as well claim that all video game villains can't plan... including other villains in this very franchise.

"Eggman is cowardly" My man is so hands-on that he's the sole boss of half the games. He also made a beeline towards the Time Eater mere seconds after it appeared in front of him without warning.

"Eggman is physically inept" He punched a wall of ice.

[caffeinatedattorney]

I just finished watching someone's playthrough of Arkham Shadow.

BRB, gonna throw up from grief.

; _ ; AAAAAAAA. Welcome to Arkham Shadow Brain. You won't stop thinking about Batman and Two Face for a looong time.

The game is so not anything I expected, but there's so much going on! they put so much care into the dynamics between characters and the direction in the acting that it feels so unlike other games in the franchise. A vr game hardly anyone will play bc it's vr 😭😭

It's so up close and personal, by far one of my fav adaptations to date. It's funny after joker 2 and caped crusader where he was announced to be in and hyped up.

I have so many thoughts still I rewrote this several times. Ugh, it's so deliciously tragic! It means so much to see a character with a story like Harvey's receive like, the weight it deserves and be so idk multifaceted? Bruce and Harvey, are so flawed, there's so much going on with them. They're so arrogant, angry and hurt and they want to do something about the world so it never happens again.

-I had a Hc on what their relationship as traumatized and socially stunted kids would be and this is so... much of that.

-I love that Leslie shows up so much here. I know her from btas and seeing her here was so surprising but so fitting. I know she's in the comics and was one of the many supportive figures in Bruce's life so seeing her doing that with Harvey is soo ;_;

-Idk if you heard the tapes but you realize that there's more behind Harvey's accident and how he knew about it and you only find this tape with the conversation in the ship near the end of the game where you found him and have to follow him,,,, ough

-Harvey goes above and beyond believing he's doing you a favor by shooting Joe Chill (it's what he would've done to his dad). Then, you take the cowl off and he thinks you hate him for what he's done and the stuff he said about batman in the tapes among other things. He probably suspected you were batman,,, but couldn't confirm it and he wasn't going to ask.

-Harvey felt he was losing himself from way before the events of the game, but he didn't care that much about himself as a person. It was always about keeping up appearances and having everything under control. His job being more important.

-I think Harvey didn't trust Leslie about his mental health as an adult, much less Bruce. It's like, he's an adult now, hes married, he can fix this city he might as well act like it. Then, he does some dodgy shit, it blows up in his face and he now has to atone for it somehow and still doesn't go to the ppl he trusts. At least, that's how I'd explain Harvey, not Harv, bringing Joe chill into the ship that late and leaving Bruce a message.

-the rooftop scene when he drags you down is harvey saying: "I love you but I hate myself more"

-Also I sort of interpret the ending as Harvey having no hope for himself. I think he's trying to comfort Bruce by saying this isn't the end of him. Kinda like when Bruce hit him, he's hurt and freaking out but he still gives Bruce fighting words bc it's not about harveys well being but having everything under control.

There's likely many ways to see it but I lean towards the least hopeful considering how fucked up he must feel.

Anyways, I'm glad you got to see it! I'm still very much not over it lmao

[gummydummy19]

Month one (May): moving into 6B

Summary: You find an ad for your dream apartment and decide to give it a go. Apartment 6B is everything you've ever wanted: high ceilings, an open floorplan, and a 6ft4 grumpy army captain...

Warnings: none, grumpy Sy?

A/N: Im so super duper excited about this!!!! I hope you guys enjoy it and please feel free to leave feedback anytime :) Some of these chapters might be regular fic length while others are gonna be just drabbles. If anyone has a request for this AU please let me know and I'll see what I can do :)) <3

this is part one to my series called: A year in apartment 6B

The Sunday paper was sprawled across your coffee table. You had a deep wrinkle plastered on your forehead and a red marker between your teeth as you furiously browsed through the apartment listings. You had been at this all morning. And nothing. You were about to give up, but then another listing caught your eye.

'Looking for a roommate/ apartment 2 bed 1 bath.'

The pictures of the place looked cute. It was close to your job and the rent wasn't too bad, so you called the number.

"Hello?' A deep grumpy voice answered the phone

'H-hi!' you chirped, a little taken aback, 'I'm calling for the apartment, the one from the paper? Do you still need a roommate?...'

'I do.' He stated dryly.

'Great! Could I come over and take a look maybe? I'm free this afternoon, Maybe I could stop by at around 3 or something? I don't know if that works for you but maybe I c-'

'Three works.' He interrupted before hanging up the phone.

Jeez, what a dick.

If the apartment hadn't been so perfect you wouldn't even have gone, but as you looked at the pictures again you decided to risk it just for the kitchen island alone.

You knocked on the door a little uncertain. The realization that you were gonna have to share this beautiful place with that asshole from the phone suddenly settled in your gut and you were beginning to question if it was worth it.

When the door opened your mouth actually fell open a little. You were greeted with a tall, broadly-shouldered man. He looked very... masculine? As much as you hated that description, it seemed to be the only accurate one on your mind.

'Hi, come in.' he welcomed you dryly, taking a step aside to let you in.

He was wearing dark-washed jeans and a dusty old shirt. His beard was on the verge of needing a slight trim and he was sporting a buzzcut. He was very handsome actually. Shame that his attitude hadn't gone anywhere.

'Thanks...' you replied as you stepped passed him and immediately laid your eyes on that gorgeous kitchen.

'Wow, this place is even more perfect than the pictures...' you sighed

He gave you a little tour of the place, barely uttering a word at you. You couldn't tell what he was thinking and you didn't like that, but you were too distracted by the apartment.

You got to where your bedroom would be. The room was not too big, but big enough for you. You assumed he had the master bedroom. You also assumed that would not be part of the tour.

The bedroom you were looking at was empty, aside from some boxes filled with junk and an unmade bed with a dodgy-looking mattress. It was clear this room hadn't been occupied before.

'I moved in a couple months ago, just been using it as storage. You can do with it what you want of course,' he explained. 'You got your own stuff?' He looked down at you. You were both standing by the doorframe and since Sy took up most of the space, you were almost squished against him trying to peek in.

For some reason, you felt so intimidated by his stare. You slithered by him and walked around the room a little, not that there was a lot more to see, but you simply couldn't handle standing so close to him anymore.

'Yeah Yeah I do, my friend's dad works for a moving company, I can ask him if he can take the bed when he brings my stuff up?' You suggested, earning a slight nod and what you took as an agreeing grumble.

'So you'll take it then?' he questioned

'Uh yeah, yes, sir? If you let me?' Christ, why did he make you so damn nervous? And why did you just call him sir?!

You swear you saw something close to amusement flash through his eyes.

'Right.' He responded, 'There is something else I wanted to fill you in on.'

You walked back to the door and followed him as he made his way back to the kitchen.

'I'm leaving for a six-month tour soon, so I won't be home much.'

tour?

'You in a band or something?' you half joked

'I'm in the army.'

Idiot. Absolute fucking idiot.

'Right...sorry' You wished the floor would swallow you whole. 'So when do you leave?

'in 9 days.'

'Oh wow, that is soon.'

"Don't worry about the rent, I'll continue to pay half. I didn't wanna lose this place but It seemed kinda dumb to pay full rent on a place I won't be living in for six months", he explained

Sy turned around and rummaged through a kitchen drawer.

'Feel free to make yourself at home just water the plants and don't touch my stuff.' He said as he turned around and handed you your key.

'Yes, sir.'

Really? Again with this?

A couple days later, you moved in. Living with Sy wasn't much different from living alone. The two of you had dinner together a few times. Well 'together' meaning 'sitting on the same couch and not talking'.

Sy would have some sports game on as he took big bites from his mac and cheese while you took considerably smaller bites from yours and read a romance novel cheesier than your pasta.

You were mostly at work during the day and when you came home you'd go straight to your room to finish unboxing your stuff. Ironic actually, how you were busy unpacking while Sy was busy doing the opposite.

'Is that all?' you asked, staring at his bag. 'Are you sure you have everything? You're going for 6 months right?'

Sy gave you an unamused look.

'It's an army tour, not a girl scout camp.'

'I'll have you know I never took more than one pink trolly to girl scout camp.' You stated proudly, earning another barely amused look from the big grump.

'I guess I'll see you in six months then.' You said, not really knowing how to act. You stared at Sy in his army uniform. He looked good. Strong. Masculin.

Ugh, that word again.

You needed to stop drooling over him. You still hadn't even really figured out if you even liked him. Well, parts of you certainly liked him...

ENOUGH, BRAIN. STOP.

You felt the urge to hug him but opted against it.

'Please don't burn the place down.' He said as he opened the front door

'I'll try.' you grinned.

Sy gave you another one of his unamused looks, which you were starting to think were secretly very amused looks. He picked up his back and opened the door.

'Hey Sy?' you halted him 'Be uh...be careful and stuff.'

For the first time since you met him two weeks ago, you saw his lips curl up a tiny bit.

It was quite unsettling.

'I don't wanna get stuck here paying rent alone.' You added

''Alright, princess, sure thing.'

and with that, he left, leaving you there in your new apartment, silent, alone, and a little...aroused?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: EEEEPPP THATS IT YOU GUYS THE TONE IS SET. I HAVE SOOO MUCH PLANNED FOR THESE TWO YOU HAVE NO IDEA LMAO!! Please feel free to leave some feedback, likes and reblogs are always much appreciated <3

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