#it be very funny if humans are the equivalent to cats for transformers

[raileurta]

I was reading some transformers fanfiction and it's a solely underutilized idea to have humans and Cybertronians be in a symbiotic relationship. In nature all the time big animals will rely on smaller animals' help.

For example humans could give repairs, clean them, and help them reach smaller places. Cybertronians can give transportation and protection of course. They're emotional benefits too; humans are really nice soft things to touch and humans like having big robot friends :3.

So I'm imagining transformers realize how useful it is to have a human partner around so they start going around trying to get one. Anyways this leads to shenanigans of course and a lot of cracky moments.

Suspiciously nice looking car in a driveway with its door opened: ....

The random human who owns the driveway: ...

Human: *turns around* Screw that! I'm not becoming part of the human distribution system today, no sir I am not.

Cybertronian: *sad beeping noises*

[teletraantwo]

Feel free to ignore this but I’ve been thinking about Bayverse Transformers and how most don’t really seem to have faces that would lend well to kissing. Like even for the Autobots that have more human-adjacent faces, a lot of the time they still seem a bit stiff in a way that they probably wouldn’t do that the way a human would. So I started thinking well, what would their equivalent of kissing be?

Now I’m imagining their version of ‘kissing’ being like. Gently bonking or resting helms together. Maybe even rubbing them together like cats. Partially because it would be real cute and also because for a lot of the humans they encounter in those movies it probably wouldn’t be thought of as their equivalent to kissing and therefore could lead to some very funny situations.

Mainly I want Bee to just kinda get maybe a bit confused cause humans he cares about keep kissing him but then treating him like just a friend. Meanwhile they think they’re doing a friendly or comforting gesture……

[szaryherbatnik]

Thinking about Virgil and Jericho having different connections to humanity in a physically literal sense. Like body stuff. Most of this is just my headcannons about Jericho though. So take it with a grain of salt.

I had this AU in mind where magic bullshit happens (the equivalent of a temporary fey curse) and Jericho is transformed into a human body and Virgil turns into a black cat (flat faced Persian specifically) And he's HORRIFIED of being completely flesh. He's been a dry pile of sticks his entire existence and now he's wet flesh and he's disgusted by it. The idea of permanently being in that body forever makes him depressed and dysphoric. He fortunately gets turned back, but for a couple days it was a nightmare. Virgil didn't feel much of anything being a cat. Although walking on all fours was definitely a new experience.

HOWEVER. From Virgil's perspective, he misses having a human body. He hasn't been in a comfortable body for YEARS. He miss having a normal body before Pazuzu and The Witches did all of this to him. When he's in possession of Jericho's wooden body it's disorienting and weird. The limbs feel awkward and flimsy. He literally feels like a baby deer. It's weird having wood for "flesh". (Hence why I think Mikey acted out Virgil staring and flexing his hand the first time he possessed Jericho around the others) It's weird.

Oh jericho would be horrified for sure. He was already so surprised by the sensations that come with his new arm and leg i can't even imagine how he would feel like as a human! He's very attached to the sensory experiences (or lack of) of being a scarecrow, i'm sure he would miss that.

Again, I think a big part of virgil's character is adaptability. He will do his best to make use of whatever body is given to him. But in eom, going between jericho's body, his crow body and the demonic form, whatever it is, cannot be comfortable. All these states and none of them are quite comfortable, not as comfortable as the human body he lost a fucking century prior. He's been without his human body for LONGER than with it. I do find the clumsiness of him being in jericho's body funny despite that it is a bit of a tragic event. I think now, after bdw, I like the clumsiness even more because virgil complains about it. i like him being vocal about his emotions, even if the emotion is annoyance.

Just for the purpose of this ask i went back to eom 20 to see WHICH hand virgil flexes. it's literally the first thing that happens when he gets control of jericho's body, and it's the left one. just so happens that virgil could not use his left arm when he was a human for like... most of his life. That first possession was the first time in a century when he was close to being like his human self. even the first word he says is "lucidity". mannnnn i just. god this scene is peak and I'm experiencing a whole new level of appreciation towards it now.

[researcher-serif]

Masterlist

for me and you cause I like reading back on my works. I'll try my best to put this all in order

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Introductions!

Call me Ree or by my full url! I also go by Sweden.

Im an aroace masc nonbinary that uses mainly they/them pronouns followed by he/him. I also use other ones like xey/xer/xem, we/us, and hai/hir/hoi.

I like cats, pasta, flufy and shiny shit, reading fanfics, and trying to info dump ideas at a fast rate. Hate em wronguns who thinks fucked up shit like child abuse or pedophilia is ok and caramel. Fuck caramel. And taffy.

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Here's my art side blog @cat-and-fox-hub

Here's my NSFW (art & writing) blog @grandfather-of-sin

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Currently in the following fandoms in interest order:

Skibidi Toilet

Yu-Gi-Oh (Arc-V an' Zexal mostly with GX & s0 on the side)

Titanfall (BT-7274 is so fuckin CUTE!!)

Twisted Wonderland (Yuu angst or comedy with x reader slides)

Cookie Run

Dream SMP (TommyInnit-centic shit)

Madness Combat

Transformers (time travelin Sam Witwicky & great, albeit rare, x reader content)

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Miscellaneous

Existence AU

Existence- The Starter Post

How do you Know you Exist?- A question for @sad-boy-hank

How do you Know I Exist?- What do you Perceive me to Be?

Authority- We do not have Authority and the cost is much, much, too high.

Writing Prompts

Your Reward: The No Harm List- You live in a city where crime runs rampant. One day, you save a young boy's life, not knowing that he is the crime lord's son, and you have just joined the no harm list.

Last Words- "Choose your last word's carefully," the villain sneered. The hero shakily lifted their head, "I love you"

A Short Aggressive Excerpt of My Day- Describe an average day as aggressively and violently as possible.

Series

The Little Green Bunny- Madness Combat x BNHA

Dream SMP

Loop Excerpt #479: Of Music And Ballet- Dream & Tommy in a time loop; funny shenanigans ensue after they put their shit aside and become friends

Spinel Heart- Tommy-centric AU where Tommy is left at his childhood cottage all alone by the SBI, Spinel inspired, and left to take care of the home and farms all by himself for 7 years until they come back when Tommy turns 17.

TRANSFORMERS

Multiverse Shenanigans- Merfolk Reader & Human Megatron get thrown in a traveling the multiverse trope

Monster in Human Disguise- Humans are Scary Reader in a Humans are Cute TFA universe

Unintentional Cupid- Megatron but everyone secretly wants to kills him and he and their very beloved liaison are in love with each other

Gen Z Humans & Madagascar Penguins- Thread chain about Gen Z Humans in G1 scenarios & the human equivalent Madagascar Penguins

MADNESS COMBAT

Miscellaneous

Human Reader planning a vacation

Reader in a nurse outfit as 2B's 'assistant'- small imagine off of @yansoftie's response to an ask for 'nice dress' AU

Rapunzel reader, Pascal 2Bitty, and Hank Ryder- Rapunzel AU

Integrity AU

Shower Thought- The Starter Post

Poor Word Choice Gets Grunts Horny AF- suggestive one shot with Dom Sheriff

Just Sheriff or Everyone Else?- @gonergoat's ask whether or not breeding kink is for him only or expendable to everyone else.

Soft Ara AU

Beginning- The Starter Post(will be updated)

Perfect- @gonergoat's short ask about how funny SA Reader's situation is

Affection Battle- Church & Gorge meeting Reader

"I need to survive"- Internal monologue of Reader during Tricky Boss Fight

SIX Musical AU

SIX Catherine Reader- Character Intro

SIX Anne Reader- Character Intro

SIX Jane Seymour Reader- Character Intro

SIX Anna Reader- Character Intro

SIX Katherine Reader- Character Intro

SIX Parr Reader- Character Intro

PAWSG Reader AU

Nephalem in Madness- My PAWSG Reader gets yeeted into Madcom

Clay God AU

Accidentally Became Zeus lmao- The Starter Post

The Nameless- One of CG Reader’s more terrifying creations

The Overseer

Madcom x FNF Story Idea with Auditor Reader & Dimension Traveling- Starter Post

SKIBIDI TOILET

Skip & Solo- A prompt with AIL Reader saving a moot's silly duo from a pickle

TWISTED WONDERLAND

Once 4 Stood, Only 2 Now Remain- The Dwarves Mines goes terribly wrong.

Yuu AU Ideas- Somewhat obscure Yuu crossover ideas

[spockandawe]

The Disabled Tyrant’s Pet Palm Fish

Okay, legit book pitch time, because I’m doing a terrible job of coherently typing out the premise every time I try to tell a person about this book, and I cannot stop telling people about this book. Bottom line up front: The Disabled Tyrant’s Pet Palm Fish started off a little rough (a combination of everything happens so much in the story itself, and, I think, the translator finding their footing), but I’ve been having such a good time that I am deep, deep in the mtl pit, because I can’t stop reading it.

The premise! This is a transmigration novel, where our hero Li Yu (his name literally translates to ‘carp’, for the record) enters the universe of a novel he just finished. He does not enter the body of a character from the novel, he enters as... a fish. A tiny little ingredient-for-fish-soup tier fish. Before he’s totally figured out what is going on, there’s an attempt to turn him into soup, and even when he flails his way out of the person’s hands, he’s.... stolen by a cat. And then, at the very last moment, he’s saved, and placed into a bowl of water to recover. This is the part of the book where So Much Is Happening and I was genuinely stressed by fish suffering.

But once he’s safe in a bowl, he finally gets to really talk to a System, and gets given some actual instructions. Surprise, sucker! You’re in a book! And he’s tasked with changing the path of that book’s protagonist, who goes from being the fifth imperial prince to eventually being the emperor. He’s like ‘oh my god, are you serious, i’m literally a fucking fish’ and the System is like *shrug* and says that well, he can either do the mission or he can die? So he’s like ‘OKAY, COOL, LET’S CHANGE THIS PRINCE’S LIFE.’ He’s also told that if he completes enough tasks, he’ll regain the ability to become human again, which is where I was like okay, this book is maybe not going to be quite so ridiculously batshit as the summary implied. The initial mission doesn’t say anything about romance, but I was still reading it like ohohohohoho, romance!

And the original book! At first, the fifth imperial prince, Jing-wang, was nominally out of the running to take the throne, because he was born with natural mutism and the emperor was told that this might be passed down to his children. He was his mother’s only surviving child, and she died soon after his birth, so he grew up very... isolated and disconnected, which makes sense given his temperament, even before all the other factors come into play. He’s a very cold, distant man, and in the book, eventually won out over his brothers to become the emperor. A cruel, rigid tyrant of an emperor. But! He did have a husband who he loved a lot. Unfortunately, that husband was planted by his brother and sure didn’t love him. The text calls him a black lotus, and describes that relationship as ‘sadomasochistic’, which I’m not sure is quite the right word, but it sure seems... melancholy, and the relationship seems to make Li Yu sad when he thinks about it.

Now, Li Yu is very worried about how the hecc he’s going to impact this imperial prince’s life in any meaningful way, but from the very start, the people around Jing-wang see him going soft for his new pet fish. His father especially is very moved to see his son finally attached to something that way. And I want to say that even the very early bits are... unexpectedly sweet?? Jing-wang doesn’t angst about not being able to speak, which I’d been worried about (I do hear that the mutism gets fixed eventually, which i’m not wild about, but i don’t feel like he’ll ever be a super verbal person tbh), but it’s really cute seeing him figuring out to interact with a pet where not being able to speak shouldn’t even really be a factor. And especially early on, Li Yu makes an effort to be as cute as possible, and way he pets and plays with his fish is the cutest, CUTEST thing.

(li yu is given an escalating series of unbelievably lavish aquariums, but even one of his earliest ones, jing-wang notices he’s interested in a pearl and just quietly fills the aquarium with priceless gemstones for his fish to play with)

There’s something that’s very hard to articulate about this, but in an early scene, Jing-wang brings the fish with him to a stressful meeting and gets angry, and starts holding the fish in a self-soothing way, and Li Yu is like AGH, TOO TIGHT and wriggles out, but before Jing-wang can even get properly upset at being rejected by his fish, Li Yu circles back around and starts winding through his fingers. Even before romance is a factor, the physical contact and comfort were absolutely precious.

When I’d started reading this, my initial mindset was basically ‘okay, so i can see Jing-wang getting attached to his fish, but love? seriously???’, but honestly, the story handled it in a REALLY nice way. There are around 160 chapters total, and by the mid-twenties, Li Yu gains the ability to occasionally/briefly transform into a human, and by the mid-thirties, Li Yu and Jing-wang have had an extended interaction where they’re both human-shaped. And Li Yu acquires other special powers with time, including interdimensional storage space and Super Jumping Powers, and he is seriously, seriously, the most sketchy-ass fish you’ve ever seen, and Jing-wang is a smart cookie.

At first, it’s little things like ‘okay, while Jing-wang is out, I’mmmm going to explore this room!’ And he does the fish equivalent of holding his breath and hops around for a while before returning to his tank like a good little fish, but Jing-wang comes back and there’s water all over the floor and he’s like ‘..............’ So what does he do? He starts leaving teacups of water all over the floor so that his fish can stop and take a breather without worrying about getting back to his tank. And when his fish seems interested in the work he’s doing at his desk, he sets up a teacup next to where he works so that his fish can watch what he’s doing. And initially, he’s kind of like ‘this is normal fish behavior, probably’, but. Li Yu is so focking sketchy. And it really, really doesn’t take long for Jing-wang to start connecting the dots between the strange young man who periodically materializes in/near his quarters and steals his clothes and his fish.

But this story is so funny. When Jing-wang starts getting suspicious, what he eventually concludes is that oh, this is like that fairy tale about the white snake spirit who seduced a human man to steal his spiritual essence. Or the fairy tale about the fox spirit who seduced a human man to steal his essence. Okay. Awright. And he spends considerable time waiting very impatiently, wondering why isn’t my fish seducing me yet??? He even sets things up so that while Li Yu is on his desk watching him work, he starts pointedly reading erotica about the snake spirit and fox spirit, and I can tell that he’s embarrassing himself, while meanwhile, Li Yu is a modern human trying to read ancient Chinese writing, and he’s like ‘haha, lmao, he reads way faster than me, I have no idea what’s happening.’

(later on, when they’ve managed to do a little bit of communication and work things out, Jing-wang proudly tells someone (writes for someone) that the food he’s eating was made for him by his boyfriend. and when the person is like ‘ah, okay. uh. what... is a boyfriend?’ and Jing-wang is like ‘I’ve got no goddamn idea.’)

Also, you may note. That one of the tags on this story is mpreg. And that was honestly why I dove into it, I was like ‘haha, there’s no way a story like this could sell me on a plot point like THAT, go ahead, try, I double dog dare you’. Well. Last night I reached that plot point. Y’all....... it.... worked. It was still silly, but the character himself was like ‘oh my god, you can’t be serious.’ It was silly and cute. At a slightly earlier point, the emperor sends Jing-wang to take a military force and go fight bandits, so Jing-wang was planning to leave Li Yu safely at home, and Li Yu wasn’t happy and non-seriously said, ‘no, your highness, you can’t leave me behind, I’m... CARRYING YOUR CHILD.’ And he didn’t mean it, but Jing-wang wanted to believe it at first, and was really happy, and was :( when Li Yu clarified that no, physically, he’s... not capable of doing that.

Smash cut to not long later, when the System gives Li Yu his next task in the main mission line and it’s.......... babies. Li Yu tries to plead with the System that no, oh my god, I am not physically equipped for this, but also at this point? The System has straight-up modified his fish body several times. He doubled all his attributes once, not realizing this included size, and got stuck in his aquarium cave. And later on, he upgraded from minnow(?) to koi and promptly... got stuck in his aquarium cave. So they’ve already coaxed me along through believing body modifications. And then the actual fish pregnancy process was very understated and low-key, and then once the fish babies hatched, after nine months, they got the ability to turn into human babies. The story even plays around with the idea of fish babies being capable of much more independence than human babies, and the babies being Displeased with the situation. Guys, they sold me on the mpreg. How did they do that?????

And something I genuinely hadn’t expected is that the relationship takes negotiation and growth. The earliest courting scenes are very... high-handed. Which I was into! I can dig a romance novel like that, where the love interest pins the protagonist to a wall and kisses him so good he sweeps him off his feet. But Li Yu gets to be upset, and push Jing-wang away, and be angry when Jing-wang tries to wiggle around the boundaries he’s trying to establish. He gets to tell Jing-wang he feels disrespected and taken advantage of, and Jing-wang learns to back off. And when he decides that he does want to give this thing a try, he lays out a couple base rules for Jing-wang, and Jing-wang takes it so seriously that he legit hangs them on his bedroom wall. 

And everyone who loves Jing-wang is so happy for him. They’re so happy for every positive development in his life. They’re happy when Jing-wang starts caring for his pet fish, and they’re even happier when he falls in love with an actual human. The main barrier to formalizing their relationship isn’t that Li Yu is a man, it’s that Jing-wang needs heirs, and well, that gets worked out. Even the emperor casually mentions that he used to have a male concubine back in the day.

You guys, I’ve been genuinely Moved by this silly novel about a fictional prince falling in love with his pet fish.

I’m not done yet, I’m almost exactly halfway through, and I’ve got no idea what’s coming next. I assume it will be political maneuvering, because Li Yu’s System told him that it’s guaranteed that Jing-wang will eventually become emperor, but the rest is up to him, and there are still a few other princes floating around who opposed him in the original book. And that black lotus husband from the original book is still around too. But Jing-wang has other allies who would have died in the original novel by now, who Li Yu managed to help save. And I’m so invested! I want to know what happens! Li Yu is periodically unlocking Jing-wang backstory reveals as rewards for completing missions, and some of these things give him a better understanding of Jing-wang in the present, but some open up brand new mysteries about Jing-wang’s past. I have to go do my actual job now, and I’m really unhappy about that, because I want! To read more!!! I’m reading the mtl right now, and if you’ve tried mtl, you know the prose can be barely comprehensible at times (i spent like ten chapters thinking jing-wang had two cousins when he has... one....) but still!!! I’m so, so invested, and I can’t stop recommending this book to everyone who has the misfortune to exist in the same space as me :’)

[mousehole5000]

more tgcf chapters 143-173 lets goooooo

PEI MING BOO HISS except actually okay he’s mostly funny i think but still boo hiss

“hey who’s this guy who’s really pissed at you?” “oh thats my sword. i broke it.” alright then!

i think i need to go back and reread the banyue pass arc bc im still confused as to whats going on with banyue and pei su

“Banyue dropped from the sky with two pots raised. Without a word, she plummeted with the mouths of the pots facing down, trapping and detaining the shocked Ming’guang and the roaring Ke Mo within.” - THATS MY GIRL

“It must be known that, to heavenly officials, it certainly was more than natural for kingdoms of the mortal realm to fight and annihilate one another; the acts of these plays progressing on endlessly. But when it came their own turn, it was often hard to let things go. If one must stand in the same court as the one who annihilated their own kingdom, and that man cavorted in the heavens, exceedingly flashy, then it must be vexing.” - hmmmm!!

“I’ve spoken too many words in this lifetime. What are you referring to?” - okay to be fair thats a mood

okay its nice to get some pei ming backstory and its funny that he and xie lian are bonding but also still whenever pei ming interacts with a female character my hackles rise like a cat lol

“Xie Lian watched as Banyue thought really hard before cheerfully pulling out a few long, wine-red scorpion-snakes, and putting them into the bubbling pot.” - THATS MY GIRL

“Although “smell” was something colourless and formless, the instant Banyue removed the pot cover, it was as if some mysterious physical object had twisted all the air around the mouth of that pot. The group stared at the sight within the pot for a long time. Their pupils reflected an endless, bottomless darkness; like it could pull them into the abyss. No words could describe the sentiment expressed within their eyes. A moment later, Xie Lian patted Banyue’s shoulder and gave a thumbs-up.” - like father-figure like daughter-figure. amazing.

“However, what if one day mortals discovered something completely new that ran faster than horses? Then, when this new invention overtook horses, worshippers of this heavenly official who controlled horses would inevitably decrease. Such heavenly officials, flashing by like shooting stars, made up the majority of the heavens.” - obsessed with this, genuinely. life and change. worship and its purpose. my religious studies diploma on my wall is screaming at me rn. ALSO i am once again thinking about celebrities

“...” It was only then that Pei Ming seemed to notice, and started to contemplate this question. A moment later, he answered, “A habit. In a dark, creepy place like this, isn’t it normal to hold women in your arms, to comfort them and calm their fears?” “I’m sorry, but I wasn’t scared,” Banyue said.” - BANYUE I LOVE YOU. I MISSED YOU SO MUCH. god this takes me back to every college party i ever went to

LING WEN BACKSTORY????? shoeseller chosen for godhood bc she wrote a political essay and got arrested...... and now she’s face to face with the official who appointed her..... do go on.....

“Ling Wen laughed out loud, seeming to be enraged, and her voice dropped. “Very well! You said I couldn’t reach that high. Then, might I ask you: had the prominence of the Palace of Jing Wen at its peak ever reached even the knees of my Palace of Ling Wen??” - GET HIM!!!! BOO HISS JING WEN

“Compared to you, I’m not that bad,” Ling Wen said. “You’d personally order me to stay in the Palace of Jing Wen until midnight, then turn around and say I shamelessly hang around ‘til late to harass you. Words murder without form; I was much nicer responding with blatant violence.” - ling wen im love you..... also this bit... feels Real

BLOOD RAIN BLOOD RAIN BLOOD RAIN!! FLOWER PETALS TRANSFORMATION!!! see hua cheng? look as how cool it can be when you leave the story for a little while!! bc then you get to return and make an entrance!!

“Not only can you bring forth bloody rain, you can also make flowers shower. I didn’t know that. How fun!” - cute!! and in that moment we were all xie lian

“Everyone was stunned by his deed, and Ling Wen arduously gave him a thumbs-up. ”Ol’ Pei, what a man!” Pei Ming gritted his teeth. “WELCOME!” - aww three two tumors buddies!!

okay yin yu is here and xie lian did the equivalent of asking someone when the baby is due only to find out theyre not pregnant at all. then rong guang taunts yin yu and no one says anything. i do love the amount of awkward moments in this book tbh sometimes there are no words.

“All around was sand and mud crushing at him, exceedingly suffocating. The sand and mud was also moving endlessly; the feeling was like he was swallowed into the stomach of a giant monster, and that monster had also eaten a bunch of other things besides him, tumbling everything in its stomach, trying to digest” - ooooh creepy!!! the red string thing... is cute.... also xie lian being able to see hua cheng’s butterfly vision by looking directly into his eye is kinda cool. and obviously homoerotic.

“Are lower-ranked heavenly officials below other people?” Quan Yizhen asked. “No,” Yin Yu replied. Were they not? It was obvious that he himself didn’t believe in his own words, and Quan Yizhen also noticed. A good while later, he said bluntly, “I don’t like it here.” Yin Yu said nothing.” - im having emotions. and then yin yu also saying he doesnt like it there either.... also idk how this scene is going to play out but as much as im enjoying quan yizhen being an icon i can also possibly see how yin yu could eventually get to the point of “i am tired of being nice. i do just want to go apeshit” even if he really cares about qyz. it happens </3

“Indeed,” Hua Cheng said. “Half a year later when Quan Yizhen actually ascends, he won’t find it so funny anymore.” “Can we watch that part too?” Xie Lian asked. “We can. Hold on,” Hua Cheng replied.” - quan yizhen king of taking things literally. also why did this turn into hualian having a movie night

jian yu seems like the kind of asshole who would purposely give someone regular soda when they specifically asked for diet soda. god yin yu is really having a bad day i really feel for him in the whole situation with the brocade immortal

awww okay at least jian yu tried to take responsibility. im still mad at him tho that was objectively a terrible idea. god this whole situation sucked :(

“Rocks and earth crushed at them from all around, forcing their bodies to press tightly against one another, their faces brushing, their ears warm. Although it wasn’t the right time, a thought flashed through Xie Lian’s mind: “‘To die buried together’ doesn’t feel so bad.” - okay... im kind of emotional.... gay people....

okay obviously these murals and the prince of wuyong have some connection (im guessing pretty direct) to xie lian and are important but everytime they start analyzing one i feel like im back in art history class fhadskfhskjdhf not that thats a bad thing!! i liked art history a lot tbh

“Don’t worry, they’re not human,” Hua Cheng said. “It’s precisely because they’re not human that we have to worry, alright….” Xie Lian thought.” - goth ghost bf problems

xie lian: well, there is one person i trust more than anyone else, someone who’s first in my mind hua cheng, oblivious: oh :/ xie lian, also oblivious: what? hua cheng: you shouldnt trust so easily its dangerous xie lian: oh. haha. yeah. well. wanna,,, know who it is? hua cheng: its :) fine :) it :) doesnt :) matter :) but of course you can tell me if you want to gege xie lian, internally: well now ive made it weird hua cheng, 5 minutes later: actually i need you to tell me. right now. its totally for your security me: gay people smh

“As they suspected, he had been captured by Qi Rong. Although no one was bound by ropes, there were balls of greasily green ghost fires hovering over every one of their heads.” - completely off track but anybody else remember the great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts song

“Could there actually come a day when Qi Rong was embarrassed that someone might see the manner in which he ate? Before Xuan Ji entered, she put Guzi down. Guzi, ta-ta-ta, ran in, rushing straight to Qi Rong’s side. But when he saw him, he pointed his finger. He cried, “Dad is eating bad things in secret again!” “I’m not!” Qi Rong retaliated.” SCREAM IS QI RONG LEARNING THE POWER OF LOVE NOOOO also god that poor man whose body he has im starting to doubt if he’ll ever be free jimmy novak flashbacks

everytime we get another ghost king power somewhere someone should be writing hua cheng the cyborg bf in a high tech futuristic au i think thats the only other potential setting that could truly capture this wild ride

“In truth, throughout history, there was no man in the world who didn’t love bragging. A breeze could blow the handkerchief of a brothel girl into a man’s hand, and he would turn around and say the most beautiful of renowned escorts had fallen in love with him; holding shoes and wiping benches for the emperor’s mistress’s uncle’s grandson’s cousin’s mistress would for sure become him being an important administrator at the residence of royal relatives, raising his status. Thus, men who didn’t brag were a rare species.” - SCREAM this is going in my favorite tgcf quotes folder god... mxtx come here let me shake your hand

read the story of rain master yushi huang’s ascension. why am i crying. also this bit im crying again me with my stuffed animals “Thus, while Yushi Huang was cultivating at the Temple of Yulong, every time when she went to seek water and passed that door, she would rub the head of that ox. The door knocker soaked in her essence of life, and when the Rain Master ascended, the ox ascended with her.”

okay thats enough for now i have 7 more chapters to book 4!!! woo!!!

[salemsaberhxgen-a]

re; salem’s magical abilities

this covers powers from the original comics, the 1996 sitcom, & the chilling adventures of sabrina

disclaimer: i try to state what is canon & what is my interpretation as well as which canon is being referenced but researching this, i’ve found that the information is relatively jumbled up & there are many different story lines & origin stories so there’s a lot of contradictions as well as overlap. that being said, the information regarding his powers are very limited so please bear that in mind while reading this as these apply only to my own portrayal of salem, do not assume all other salems follow suit.

tl:dr version below:

salem can fly unaided, time travel with seemingly no limitations, shapeshift into any living thing, communicate with & understand animals, can communicate telepathically with the witch for whom he is a familiar, travel in a method similar to apparating in harry potter, & use another witch to complete spells while essentially transferring power for the sake of completing said spell.

one last note, is that i didn’t pull any of this stuff out of thin air. these are things you can find information about, however difficult or limited. the only reason i’m saying salem can do it, is because there’s information on it either from the sitcom or the comics. this isn’t me trying to make salem op, these are facts that i think make total sense for him. also keep in mind, that while he may have all these powers, he is not all powerful & has limitations to his skill or strength, some of which i mention but many of which i don’t. this is kind of just the bare bones of the list

canonically in the sitcom salem has absolutely no powers as a cat but he had some powers in the comics, as well as abilities as a goblin in the chilling adventures of sabrina & i take influence from all of them. today i wanna talk about what powers he had as a regular witch as well as abilities that he may have been able to keep despite his sentence as a cat.

to start, some of the known abilities we have involve the ability to time travel, fly as well as shape-shift. i also think that once he became a cat, he gained the ability to connect & speak with animals either telepathically or just simply understanding the noises an animal makes. this i think he would keep after returning to his regular body again since becoming human would simply mean gaining his full powers back as well as being freed from his confinements as a cat. i also think that he retained the ability to shift into a cat but can do so without the help of incantations where as normally he would require a spell of some kind to facilitate the shift. both of these abilities require concentration & effort to complete & are not snap your fingers fast.

if we’re to go by his powers via the comic books, ( which i also take influence from ), & although this was story line dependent, then salem maintained his powers, although they were very limited. the only catch was that he needed someone else’s fingers to act as a sort of extension of himself. in essence, he could perform magic by siphoning off his power for use of his spell but this is something that required a willing assistant; he couldn’t just use any old witch without permission to do so.

it’s still unclear the extent of his shape shifting abilities so i can’t go into full detail now, though i’ll be making a follow up post about this specifically at some point. anyway, i’m assuming it’s based off typical shifting rules where you need something to imprint off of so if you have something as a reference, you can transform into that. however, i would assume that this only applies to outer appearance & does nothing to affect him physiologically. theoretically he could turn into a chair if he wanted but why would he i guess is the question.

this shifting abilities are very much so present in the caos. as a goblin, salem can shift into anything. he does have a default form, link here for description & photo. be warned, it’s creepy af but most things from coas are.

moving on, this is where i really stray from canon, be it the comics, the sitcom, or even the chilling adventures of sabrina. for this i take some influence from harry potter.

already we know that salem & his coven have no use for wands, instead they use their fingers or simply just willing something to happen. the latter required a lot more practice & skill & i think salem’s time as a cat where he couldn’t use his hands to facilitate his spells that once he returned to his original form, he no longer required the use of his hands. i also believe that on top of being able to perform ❝ wandless ❞ magic, he also honed his skills to allow him to simply think of or imagine a spell in his mind rather than having to speak an incantation aloud. i do however thing that if he wanted to use some powerful magic, he had to then return to speaking aloud so really non-verbal magic was restricted to smaller spells that required no ongoing effort.

going back to his powers as a witch before his sentence, i mentioned the ability to time travel, fly, & shapeshift. it’s difficult to get any concrete information about the extent of these powers so from here on out is just my interpretation. with that in mind, let’s continue.

time travel. of course salem has to abide by the rules of time travel. not to risk sounding confusing but i was reading up on time travel & i found a couple lines that sum it up reasonably well ❝ something is whatever it is, & was whatever it was, & will be whatever it will be, once & forever.... [ once something happens ] there is nothing you can do to change it, because it happened. you can no more change events in your past in a space-time with closed timelike curves than you can change events that already happened in ordinary space-time, with no closed timelike curves. ❞

in essence, nothing he does can change the future because any event he thinks he might influence already happened & it will always happen the way it did. knowing this, the stress of time travel & worrying about fucking up a timeline disappeared, not that it was something he was especially worried about anyways. mostly he time travels to experience things, not to attempt to alter reality for one reason or another.

if he has any limits when it comes to time travel, he doesn’t know what they are & doesn’t care to find out. it works for what he wants it to & has yet to run into any issues or limitations pertaining to it.

next up, flying. so typically witches require something to ride in order to fly. originally witches rode brooms but the sitcom implies that modern day witches ride vacuums instead the reason for which is beyond me. but i’ll take a second to mention that there are vacuum riding witch traffic cops in the sky to make sure witches are using their vacuums within the law which is just a really funny visual. later in the sitcom sabrina moves away from her vacuum & we’re left to assume that she likely shifted to using molecular transference as means for travel. the equivalent would probably be something along the lines of floo powder in harry potter without needing the use of a chimney to do so.

for a quick second i’m also going to explain molecular transference as it’s something that salem also has the ability to do, given that you must take a test to prove you know how in order to gain your witches licence. in short this can be used to travel great distances & between realms in a matter of seconds & most witches can transport people with them as we see later in the series. skilled witches can change the way this ability manifests ie. travelling by smoke in place of a witch’s usual magical form. along with this, forms that create a lot of noise upon entrance can also be changed so that the user can use their usual magic to dematerialize, but then quietly flash into the desired location silently, but again, this isn’t the case for all witches & many have no need for this extra step — salem among them. after all, he likes to make an entrance.

in sitcom canon, the first witch to fly on an object other than a broom was irma spellman who rode a large brazil nut. this implies that witches are capable of charming various ( if not any ) objects for air travel. knowing this, i think salem would have played around with both this & molecular transference in order to find a way to fly without the use of a broom or anything else for that matter. the fact that this ability was specifically mentioned leads me to believe that salem may have succeeded in his attempts to fly unaided since there are other abilities ( ie. molecular transference ) which he had but were not mentioned. 

this is all i have atm. might add more or rewrite sections with more detail at some point but yeah !

*slaps* this bad boy can fit so much magic in it

[the-desolated-quill]

Captain Britain Joining The MCU. Give Me Fucking Strength - Quill’s Scribbles

You know there are some points in my life where a person or a movie studio does something so stupid and moronic that my only response is... what the fuck are you doing?

DC, what the fuck are you doing?

Marvel, what the fuck are you doing?

Kevin Feige... what the fuck are you doing?!

Yes, apparently Marvel Studios are considering putting Captain Britain into the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Something I’m sure every comic book fan in the land has been crying out for. Now I’m sure you’re wondering what I, a British person, may think of this. Do I feel patriotic? Proud that such a ‘beloved’ British icon is going to be part of the MCU?

Yeah, I can’t say I’m excited about the prospect and the reason is because... um... how do I put this?... Captain Britain is quite possibly the dumbest thing to ever come out of Marvel (and I’m including Howard The Duck).

Captain Britain was created by Chris Claremont and Herb Trimpe to be the British equivalent of Captain America. But whereas Captain America took off and became a relatively integral part of the American comics industry, Captain Britain never had quite the same impact with us Brits. In fact in contrast with Captain America, he’s actually a very obscure character. While he does have his fans (very few fans), most people have either never heard of him or, like me, can’t stand the fucking sight of him, finding the character to be more patronising than patriotic.

There’s a number of reasons why Captain Britain never took off, but first let’s quickly sum up his backstory. Brian Braddock (smirk) was born into an aristocratic family in Essex and educated at Fettes College In Edinburgh. Because his family were no longer rich enough to fraternise with their academic peers, Brian was a quiet and lonely child because he was too proud to fraternise with the lower classes (and I’m sure we in the lower classes were eternally grateful for that, you stuck up git). After his parents, Sir James and Lady Elizabeth (oh I do beg your pardon) die in a laboratory accident, Brian gets a job at a nuclear facility at Darkmoor. When this facility is attacked by a terrorist, Brian gets on his motorcycle (a motorcycle? Oh come now! Surely that’s far too lower class for him. Shouldn’t he be riding a horse and cart? Pip, pip! Tally ho chaps! We’ll give the ruffians what for!) and goes looking for help only to then crash and get seriously injured (you had one job! That’s you off the Queen’s Christmas card list). He is then saved by Merlyn (yes, that Merlin) and is offered the chance to become Captain Britain. He’s asked to choose between the Amulet of Right (pffft) and the Sword of Might (tee hee). Brian chooses the amulet and he transforms into the champion of Great Britain, fighting for Queen and country and all that is pre-shrunk and cottony... Oh no, wait. That’s from Captain Underpants. Have you ever read Captain Underpants? It’s a brilliant series of books. Very funny. Did you know that DreamWorks are doing a movie adaptation? I’m very excited! :D

Now you may have noticed that I wasn’t really taking this seriously. And really, how could I? It sounds more like a parody of Captain America. But no. Apparently we’re supposed to be taking this very seriously. So come on. Let’s be serious about this for a moment. No! Stop sniggering! Control yourselves, please! This could very well be the next big thing in the MCU.

As I said, there are many reasons why Captain Britain never really took off. The most glaring example being how stereotypical it is. He comes from an aristocratic family. He went to a boarding school. It’s incredibly painful. He’s one step away from spending Sunday afternoons playing croquet in the grounds and sipping tea in the gazebo before retiring to his four poster bedroom where his butler will give him a glass of port as a nightcap and remind him to get up early in the morning so he won’t be late for a spot of fox hunting with the chaps from Grantham House. I mean Jesus Christ!

Another big reason why Captain Britain doesn’t work is because we don’t really have the same relationship to our flag and our country as the Americans do. Oh sure we can be patriotic on occasion, such as on remembrance days or royal events, but America takes it to a whole other level. Americans love their country. They love their flag. They’re proud to be Americans. To the point where they even have laws dictating how you should take care of your flag. You can actually get punished for not cleaning your flag properly. In some states it’s illegal to wash your flag in a washing machine because it’s disrespectful. That’s insane! Like... it’s just a piece of cloth! Calm down! Brits, generally speaking, don’t have that kind of relationship. In fact kind of the opposite. We often mock our country and view it with a certain amount of disdain. The only people who feel truly patriotic about Britain are the royalists and other such nutters. People who passionately believe that Britain is the best country in the world, who love the Royal family and harken back to the UK’s glorious yesteryears (which never actually existed). While both Captain America and Captain Britain are both equally dumb ideas, I can see why Americans would be drawn to Captain America. An American patriot who stands for American ideals and wears the American flag across his chest with pride. Captain Britain on the other hand, with his Union Jack and his Amulet of Right, is more likely to produce snorts of laughter from us Brits.

But I’ll say one thing for Captain America. It may be a stupid idea and he may talk as though he has the Declaration of Independence shoved firmly up his arse, but at least he doesn’t act all high and mighty or try to lord it over everyone else. No. He fights for the common man and that’s largely because he was a common man himself. A wimpy kid off the streets of Brooklyn determined to become a soldier and fight the Nazis, wanting to protect his country from injustice. His inner strength, good will and patriotism is what made him a prime candidate for the Vita-Ray experiment and he represents an aspirational figure that kids can look up to. Captain Britain is precisely not that. In fact he represents what the majority of Brits actually hate. An overly privileged, upper class prick who has great power bestowed onto him despite the fact that he’s done very little to actually deserve it.

And that’s by far the biggest problem with Captain Britain. As a character, he just doesn’t appeal to us Brits. He’s above us and he sees himself as above us. We don’t want to see that. If we wanted to see that, we’d just watch BBC Parliament. Let me give you an idea of the kind of characters we in the UK love:

Derek Trotter, more commonly known as Del Boy, was the main protagonist of the hugely successful sitcom Only Fools & Horses and is arguably one of the most beloved characters in British culture today. A market trader and con man who sells hooky gear on the streets of Peckham and often gets into trouble due to his get rich quick schemes. 

Dave Lister, a vending machine repair man from the sci-fi sitcom Red Dwarf. This lager drinking, curry loving slob ends up becoming the last surviving member of the human race and a Godlike figure to a new race of people that evolved from his pet cat. As the series progressed, he helped his robot Kryten break his programming and become fully independent, and it’s this that helps him to grow and mature to become the space hero he is now in the current series.

Victor Meldrew, from the sitcom One Foot In The Grave. A middle aged man forced into early retirement and having to find ways to pass the time, be it through peculiar hobbies or shouting at the weird events happening around him, much to the dismay of his wife Margaret.

Basil Fawlty, from the beloved sitcom Fawlty Towers, has become one of the most iconic characters in British culture. A traditionalist, right wing hotelier desperately seeking to raise his social status and to become successful, but is forced to work with people he absolutely despises, including his incompetent Spanish waiter Manuel.

Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced Bouquet) is the main character of the sitcom Keeping Up Appearances. Housewife to her eternally suffering husband Richard, she’s a pompous snob desperately seeking to maintain the illusion that she’s wealthier and more socially important than she actually is. However her attempts to climb the social ladder are often ruined by her working class sisters or her senile father.

And finally, just to bring this back into the realm of comic books there’s:

John Constantine. The chain smoking, working class magician from Liverpool who fights dark supernatural forces on a regular basis and frequently has to make morally dubious choices, often resulting in the deaths of his friends and loved ones.

Now what do all of these characters have in common? They’re all underdogs. Working class. Losers. Idiots. Failures. Those are the types of characters we’re drawn to as a culture. The reason why I included so many sitcom characters is because I feel they perfectly demonstrate the difference between British and American culture. America is brimming with idealism and aspiration. The idea that anyone can become greater than their humble origins, and this is reflected in their culture. In most American movies and TV shows and comic books, the main character is often smarter, wittier, tougher and/or funnier than the audience, representing someone they can aspire to be like. Here in Britain, where our rigid class system is permanently ingrained into us at an early age, we mostly accept the fact we’re likely going to stay where we’re at for the rest of our lives and so our media reflects that by giving us characters that are in similar situations to us. The reason we identify with the likes of Constantine and Lister and Del Boy is because they operate on our level and share our problems and worries. They’re one of us. When Basil Fawlty and Hyacinth Bucket arrogantly disregard their working class roots and try to raise their social status, it’s funny when they fail because serve them right for looking down on us. But when Del Boy eventually becomes a millionaire at the end, we’re legitimately happy for him because we like the character, we want to see him succeed and we’re glad he managed to succeed without compromising who he is. And that’s why Captain Britain will never be accepted by us. He is above us and has power over us and we don’t like that. People with power and authority are to be mocked and shamed, not to be celebrated or aspired to be like.

The idea that Kevin Feige is even considering putting Captain Britain into the MCU for me proves what I’ve been saying about Marvel all along. That they don’t care about creating a coherent or entertaining universe, that they’re adding characters and storylines just for the sake of adding characters and storylines, and that Kevin Feige clearly doesn’t have the slightest fucking idea of what he’s doing. If he did, he honestly wouldn’t think Captain Britain would be a profitable or worthwhile project to pursue. I also feel extremely annoyed by all of this. Remember when Feige said we were definitely going to see an LGBT+ superhero appear in the MCU at some point in the next ten years? Or just recently when he said we were totes going to see Miles Morales’ Spider-Man show up in the MCU at some point in the future? All of these vague half-promises constantly pushed back to make way for more ‘important’ projects like an Ant-Man sequel, an Inhumans TV series or Captain fucking Britain.

Regardless of what your thoughts are on the state of the MCU right now, I think we can all agree that when you get to the stage when you’re seriously considering Captain Britain as a legitimately good idea... maybe it’s time to take a break and reevaluate just what the fuck it is you’re actually doing.

[braverytaught]

Meta about her feelings for other cats whilst she's a cat!

metas. || always accepting.

okay this one is.....super interesting?? the thing is that, in canon, animagi can communicate on some level with others of their species. it’s not specified to what extent, but we know that peter pettigrew got found voldemort after poa by listening to the rats, who spoke of a “dark shadow” in the forest that animals feared to approach.

i imagine that communicating as an animagus is sort of like being able to speak parseltongue - harry never learned the language, at first wasn’t even aware he was speaking it, but he instinctively knew how to communicate his intentions to snakes. i’d guess that it’s similar as an animagus - if you try to speak as a cat, it’ll come out as a meow, but your intentions will cary through regardless, because you just instinctively (magically) know how to communicate them in that form, and other cats will understand them. and you’ll understand what they mean to communicate when they respond.

it isn’t a language, really, considering it can’t be learned, and it certainly isn’t anywhere as sophisticated as a language - especially because cats in general aren’t that intelligent. so i’d say that, as a cat, minerva can communicate in a basic way with other cats and vice versa, but not about anything more sophisticated than what a cat could understand in the first place. and this prevents minerva from ever being able to see other cats as friends in any real sense of the word, because she can’t actually connect with them. they’re not suddenly like her; they’re still cats, and she’s still human. the cats don’t understand this, they assume she’s one of them, but she knows, and it’d just be....weird, to view cats on any sort of equal level.

so it’s not as if she becomes a cat and then goes and hangs out with other cats. she doesn’t have cat companions. she has used cats to gain information in the past, though - it came in handy when she was spying in the first war. and there have certainly been cats that she’s liked, because they’re genuinely friendly and good-natured. and being able to communicate with them on some level means that she probably does like those cats better than she would if she weren’t an animagus, because she has a better understanding of their personality. but.....honestly, no, she doesn’t get too attached to other cats, she doesn’t make friends with them, because she can’t communicate with them the way she would a human, they aren’t that sophisticated. 

and honestly -- it’s kind of funny, really. she’s proud enough as a human; imagine that compounded with the pride of a cat. she just. has to be the dominant cat. any other cat tries to act like she’s imposing on their territory, she puts them in their place. usually a hiss and maybe a cuff around the ears will do - she wouldn’t lower herself to scuffling with a cat, but she has unsheathed her claws before. after all, no matter what a cat (like mrs. norris, cough cough) might think, hogwarts is her territory, she’s been here for forty years and they are in no place to challenge her. yeah, cat!minerva can’t help but take that shit seriously. 

(sidenote that i had an entire conversation with @lcgillimens once about the Feud™ between mrs. norris and minerva, but i can’t go back and find it bc of the whole her blog being gone thing :((( but yeah, minerva does Not Like mrs. norris, and has most definitely had to put her in her place before.)

i will say, though, that kneazles, and part-kneazles, are a different story. kneazles are like the magic equivalent of cats, and highly intelligent - crookshanks was part kneazle, and recognized sirius immediately as an animagus, and could communicate with padfoot (and complete tasks for him) even though they weren’t even the same species. since kneazles are so intelligent, and understand the concept of animagi, minerva connects with them much more strongly than she does with regular cats. she actually probably could be genuine friends with a kneazle, tbh. in fact, it’s the only kind of cat she’d ever consider owning -- she had a pet cat before she became an animagus, but found that owning cats as an animagus was rather difficult, as they tended to get kind of. freaked out. when she transformed. and. stopped trusting her.

but yeah, this is rambly and not very well put together, but the point is that -- minerva can communicate on a rudimentary level with most cats, but considers herself above them and doesn’t develop any real individual closeness to them generally, though of course she likes cats as a whole and will use them if she needs to. kneazles, however, are intelligent enough to understand and work with animagi, so she likes them far better.

(also -- note that it’s canon that arabella figg’s many cats are actually kneazles and part-kneazles, and please imagine minerva checking in on harry every once in a while as he’s growing up by asking the kneazles about him.)

[raileurta]

Finally gotten a large enough break from exams to piece my thoughts together into an ask. A bunch of stuff about the sparkeater au has been marinating for days so this is a big one lol. Also, I tried sending this earlier but tumblr says that there was an error sending it so if this is a duplicate then whoops, feel free to ignore

First silly thought! Flying isn’t something you learn instantly. Ofc this doesn’t stop Miko, it just means that she’s is definitely asking bulkhead to just throw her as she figures it out. Also, I cant stop imagining Miko being very wobbly while flying with the harness at first like how cats don’t like harnesses. Once she’s used to flying with it she definitely pulls and makes it as much of a nightmare for others to control as possible though lmao.

Second thought! Horns! I can definitely see her taking full advantage of those horns for more aggressive cat-head bonks. Environmental storytelling with her most frequent bonk spots on bulkhead accumulating a bunch of scratches from her horns lol.

Next one, yawns! Y’know how kitty yawns start out with a little o, and then there’s the sticky tongue out, and then their face splits open into all those knives. I’m imagining that but double horrific for the bots cause of the split lower jaw lmao. (This au is slowly turning into cat!miko hours). You mentioned purring too and I could definitely hear them making one of those loud as hell cheetah purrs lol. Honestly at this point there’s probably a catnip equivalent for these guys that I’m just forgetting about.

Fourth thought: Randomly staring at the wall because she can smell someone coming before they actually show up! It’d definitely be useful but also I could see her straight up lying and saying that there’s ghosts in the walls or something.

Fifth thought! The prank potential would be legendary!!! So many ways to terrify basically any bot lmao. Especially as a reveal to the others. Wheeljack pretending to be injured and giving them a wheezy warning not to go into the Jackhammer while Miko makes ominous noises from the shadows. Waiting for the perfect moment where people have gotten on board to find the source but are the most on edge before pouncing. Ooh! Or drawing a decepticon insignia on a piece of scrap metal and putting it in a semi-visible hiding spot and pretending to hastily and guiltily hide it once someone notices. Or chewing on it while sitting juuuuust out of reach in the rafters or something and only letting a bot get enough of a glance for them to see the insignia before turning the blank side back to them and making them just internally go over every decepticon they haven’t seen/dealt with lately. Maybe use the autobot insignia for more immediate fear and panic idk lol

Final thought: While I can’t think of a reason why anyone would give Miko permission to go feral off of the top of my head, knowing full well what she’s capable of, I can’t help but think of her just going 0 to 60 instantly without hesitation like this:

(its just a funny visual lol)

This immediately made me think of this post.

I severely doubt Bulkhead would ever launch Miko like this; I can however see someone like Wheeljack doing it. He’s in the Jackhammer and he just launches her out the ship at full speed. Then seeing her gliding/falling from the sky rabidly aged both Bulkhead and Ratchet by a couple of millions of years. Surprisingly Wheeljack wouldn't be reprimanded by Ultra Magnus for this as he knows about seeker teachings and he thinks this is the human equivalent of it. So he is too throwing Miko off of cliffs, much to the dismay of everyone around him.

Miko very much does the cat thing of freezing up and then flopping over. Ever since her transformation Miko has only worn loose fitting altered shirts and pants as anything tight isn't the most comfortable. So the sensation is a very weird experience for her. But yes once she gets used to it Miko will be a COMPLETE menace.

The horns are fairly durable so she can bonk as long as Miko wants! Ratchet is probably very annoyed by all the scratches he has to fix now. Bulkhead doesn't mind too much as Miko is too cute to get mad at.

The yawn of horrible body horror and teeth! It's not a pretty sight to say the least. (Heh rhymed) I will enable the Miko cat hours, as I'm a sucker for it! Ooh yeah some big ole Cheetah purrs.~ The autobots slowly become the white women stereotype of waiting to pet extremely dangerous animals and put sweaters on them. Bulkhead loves his Eldritch daughter and will spoil the hell out of her.

Human catnip? Don't you mean weed?/j

Miko is forever the gaslighter. She just has too much fun pranking everyone and Wheeljack will forever enable her shenanigans. Probably has her on speed dial at the ready for whenever the opportunity to mess with people appears. The two of them definitely have invented at least fifteen new folktales. Ever been in that situation where your pet has something in their mouth they shouldn't be eaten so you have to wrestle them for it? That's what's happening with Miko and Ratchet or Optimus. They're desperately trying to grab her and asking who's armor is that??? Miko is not that mean to pretend to have eaten an Autobot. She does have standards, they're just really low ones.

Arcee if she's fed up enough or it's Arachnid, especially if it's Arachnid. The first time they meet with Miko at her side she just sends the spider bot the most shit eating grin ever then just slowly unlatches the leash connected to Miko’s vest. Arcee doesn't say or do anything but give Miko a small nod and that's enough permission for her.

Needless to say Arachnid is a lot more wary of humans now.

[delusional-fantasising]

The way I would lunge for the car so fast. I would love to have a cybertronian friend (Or lover). I would take care of them so well too.

I was reading some transformers fanfiction and it's a solely underutilized idea to have humans and Cybertronians be in a symbiotic relationship. In nature all the time big animals will rely on smaller animals' help.

For example humans could give repairs, clean them, and help them reach smaller places. Cybertronians can give transportation and protection of course. They're emotional benefits too; humans are really nice soft things to touch and humans like having big robot friends :3.

So I'm imagining transformers realize how useful it is to have a human partner around so they start going around trying to get one. Anyways this leads to shenanigans of course and a lot of cracky moments.

Suspiciously nice looking car in a driveway with its door opened: ....

The random human who owns the driveway: ...

Human: *turns around* Screw that! I'm not becoming part of the human distribution system today, no sir I am not.

Cybertronian: *sad beeping noises*

[trainer-sean]

Cybertronian: eve if I do, this?

Transformers into a root mode, laying on the drive way in a seductive manner.

Human:....

I was reading some transformers fanfiction and it's a solely underutilized idea to have humans and Cybertronians be in a symbiotic relationship. In nature all the time big animals will rely on smaller animals' help.

For example humans could give repairs, clean them, and help them reach smaller places. Cybertronians can give transportation and protection of course. They're emotional benefits too; humans are really nice soft things to touch and humans like having big robot friends :3.

So I'm imagining transformers realize how useful it is to have a human partner around so they start going around trying to get one. Anyways this leads to shenanigans of course and a lot of cracky moments.

Suspiciously nice looking car in a driveway with its door opened: ....

The random human who owns the driveway: ...

Human: *turns around* Screw that! I'm not becoming part of the human distribution system today, no sir I am not.

Cybertronian: *sad beeping noises*

[cf8wrk4u-us]

Mutualistic relationships between Cybertronians and groups of mid aged suburban humabs could be quite common. Similar to the wildlife interaction between species of crocodiles and the Egyptian Plover.

Both sides benefit from the interaction as the bot gets a nice tune up/a cleaner engine. And the humans get the satisfaction of working on an engaging and fulfilling task.

I was reading some transformers fanfiction and it's a solely underutilized idea to have humans and Cybertronians be in a symbiotic relationship. In nature all the time big animals will rely on smaller animals' help.

For example humans could give repairs, clean them, and help them reach smaller places. Cybertronians can give transportation and protection of course. They're emotional benefits too; humans are really nice soft things to touch and humans like having big robot friends :3.

So I'm imagining transformers realize how useful it is to have a human partner around so they start going around trying to get one. Anyways this leads to shenanigans of course and a lot of cracky moments.

Suspiciously nice looking car in a driveway with its door opened: ....

The random human who owns the driveway: ...

Human: *turns around* Screw that! I'm not becoming part of the human distribution system today, no sir I am not.

Cybertronian: *sad beeping noises*