#it can be fun but sometimes ya gotta stew in your emotions for a while and process them

[cericreatively]

how the fandom fixation/yearning feels like sometimes (/nm) ft. my new persona

ref images under the cut

[spiderblog-mcu]

Spiderpool (nsfw) one shot

Peter swung onto the rooftop with the soft pat of his feet. It was a crisp night in New York City, the trees were loosing their leaves and Central Park had become a sea of orange and yellow, lit up by the never ending line of street lamps and night shift taxi’s. It was peaceful in a way.  “Hey Spider butt.” Well, at least he thought. Peter looked toward the voice and found that red suit laying on his back, hands used as a pillow for his head.  “Geez Wade I didn’t see you there.” Peter pads over to look down at him. “What are you doing laying down?”  “Star gazing.” He looks up to find what Wade is supposedly gazing it, but as usual pollution had covered the sky.  “But the-“ “I know.” Peter nodded quietly. He’s had enough run ins with Wade to know you don’t argue with him.  “Well don’t just stand there,” Wade insists “come join the tranquility.”  Peter pauses for a moment before laying next to Wade. “Which one is your favourite?”  “Star?” Peter assumes, “uh, that one.” He says pointing to...well nothing really. Just fog. “Shit really?!” Wade exclaims, “that’s mine too! What a coinkydink.”  Peter hums in response. His senses began to relax, even with the agitating noise of car horns and drunks shouting. This usually happens around Wade, Peter found it strange. There are times, when Peter is fuelling with adrenaline, that even the thought of Wade made Peter skin crawl, but other times there was little. Tingles really. Almost as if a thick wind was brushing against the hairs of his body.  “Are you into 80’s classics?” Wade breaks the silence.  “In what way?”  “Ya you know, music, movies, politics.” Peter turns his head to Wade then back to the sky.  “Well, Queen is my Spotify top play, Bryan Adams had a couple good hits.”  “And what about Wham? What do you think of them?”  “A great shower singalong.”  “Fantastic.”  Peter crosses his right foot over the left, overhead a plane is passing by. He recognizes the lights, it’s a Stark Enterprise craft. After he had taken down Oscorp, he was approached by Tony Stark. Literally. He was offered a paid internship which turned out to be fighting Captain America in a German airport. Now he works along side Bruce when he isn’t working or miserably studying his college courses. It’s ironic that Harry happens to be the teachers assistant, meaning Peters grades don’t always reflect what he knows. God damn Oscorp. For all it gave, it took, and it took.  “Whatcha thinking about Spiderbutt?”  “Gwen.” It slipped out.  “Who?” Of course Wade doesn’t know.  “Ben.” Peter mumbles. “Are you saying Gwen or Ben I can’t tell?”  Peter sighs and sits up, “both.” He crawls over to the ledge and sits criss cross. Looking down at the city, he sees flashes of lights, people coming and going. He often wonders about their lives. Are they good? Bad? Do they possess superhuman abilities too or are they just normal? Peter wished he was normal.  Wade is now propped up on his elbows watching him. His back was hunched and his head hung. Wade isn’t good with emotions, he often uses humour to deal with such situations but he always does his best to impress Spiderman. That’s the kind of crime fighter Wade aspires to be. So he gets up and sits on the ledge too, legs dangling over.  “You know, I lost someone too.”  “Sure but was it your fault?” Peter asked flatly. “Yeah.” Wade nodded. “I got messy on a job and they found my home. Six guys with guns broke down the door and I dropped all of them with kitchen knifes. God bless Betty Crocker. But the last one, he took a shot before I got him. The only bullet fired the entire time and it got Vanessa right in the chest. She died in surgery.”  “How did you deal with it?” Peters voice sounded strained.  “At first I was a mess. I’d kill myself over and over just to see her, to apologize...but after a while I realized it would fix nothing.” Wade rolled up his mask to the bridge of his nose. His lips were chapped from the friction of leather. “Then I found out I had a daughter from a past lady and Spidey let me tell you, reality hit me right in the sack. Just, metaphorically punches my balls back up into my body,” Wade motions his fist upward. “That’s when I knew that as shitty as the situation was, it didn’t define who I was. I had a lot left to live for and stewing in self loathing wasn’t helping. I didn’t sit back and let them kill Vanessa, I fought. The truth is man, in this line of work? You can’t save everyone, and your loved ones are no exception. We just do the best we can, and deal with the sacrifices that come along.”  Peter is glad that his mask is waterproof because he can’t stop the few tears that fell.  “I’m sorry to hear that.”  “Sometimes life is a sandpaper dildo, other times its free bag of cocaine. You just gotta roll with the punches, play the cards you’re dealt. You know what they say: with great power comes great responsibility.”  Peter looks at Wade. “Who says that?”  “Everybody.” Wade shrugs. “I have literally never heard that in my life.”  “...ya sure?”  “Positive.” Peter looks back to the city. “Right. Copy rights. So what’s going to get you out of this funk? Could be anything. Something fun. Something dangerous.”  “Wade-“ “Spidey just trust me. I know that seems like a bad idea but I got past my loss and I can help you.”  Peter sighs and shrugs. “I don’t know, dangerous I guess.”  “Ok good.” Wade sits facing Peter. “What’s something dangerous you’ve always wanted to do?” Peter thought for a moment. He had many things he’d like to do, many lines he’d like to push, but one stuck out in particular and it was calling his name.  “This.” He reaches up and rips off his mask, it was an adrenaline he hadn’t felt before. Wade stared at him mouth agape. Wade knew Peter was a fit guy but holy hell he was beautiful. “That feels better.” Peter head turns to Wade. “What do I have something on my face?”  “Yeah. A lot of handsome.” Peter felt his cheeks burn and lightly punched Wade on the arm.  “I’m not gay.”  “Don’t knock until you try it.”  “I have enough problems I don’t need my sexuality to be one of them.” Wades wonder turned into a stern, tight lip.  “Being fluid isn’t a problem. It’s normal. I bet you haven’t even tried it.”  “No I haven’t but honestly I’m going through so much shit that I might just get drunk and give it a go.” Peter rubs a hand over his face. “I don’t know Wade I’m sick of feeling nothing.”  “Then let yourself feel something.”  “How?” Peter expected one of wades smart ass comebacks but he got a chin grip and a solid kiss on the lips instead. His spider senses shot up like a rocked but crashed just as quick. When Wade finally let go Peter could hear the thump of his own pulse.  “There’s your start.” Wade sits back to his spot as if he had done nothing. Peter felt a turn in his stomach, and a lump from in his throat. But most of all, he felt hungry, and not in the way he usually does.  “Again.” He demands.  “What?” Wade barely has time to finish his question before Peter has him pinned to the roof top. “Spidey?!” He crushes his mouth against Wades, successful reliving the surge of taboo energy.  “My names Peter.” Wade was speechless, even his boxes were silent. “Don’t knock until you try right? Wade, help me feel something.” Peter knew before Wade said yes, he was sitting low enough to feel Wades erection grow against his thigh.  “My suit stays on.” Peter nods at Wades request but starts removing his own. Wade does his best to help, both of them now heated with lust. Tossing the suit aside, Wade sits up to kiss Peter heatedly and forces him to sit against a dome skylight. Peters skin felt like it was burning against the cold glass. His cock too was now full and resting against his stomach. Wades mouth sucked heavenly at his mouth and makes it’s way to his neck.  “W-ade.” Peter cracks in a moan. He wanted to cry, this felt wrong but he’d just die if it stopped. He sucked in a loud gasp when Wades hand started pumping his cock, adding a little extra pressure just beneath the head. His precum dribbles out over Wades fingers and lands in the well kept patch of pubic hair on Peters body. Now Wade isn’t use to sensual, romantic sex, he’s always had the taste for the dirty but this time he was reserved. Peter had never even kissed a guy until now, Wade certainly wasn’t about to split him open (he’s a little hung in the pants if you know what I mean). But he couldn’t let butt stuff escape this opportunity, so with the middle finger of his right hand, left hand still on Peters dick, he scoops up some of the slick from Peters body and reaches down below. Peter yelps when he feels Wades finger against his hole.  “It’s ok,” Wade assures, “I won’t go in.” Peter nods and mewls when Wade begins to circle the untouched ring of muscle. Wades erection throbs in his suit, he had most of a mind to take it out but he wanted this experience to be all about Peter. Underneath him Peter was gripping onto the window ledge with his face nose to skin at Wades neck. He couldn’t quit squirming and had to take a look at the stroking below, which by now had started to make lewd noises. It was certainly a sight he’d never thought he’d see but he loved the leather glove against his shaft. He wasn’t pleased that Wade was doing all of the work, after all this is sex. Right? Kind of? Wade jumped and stopped his motion when Peter gripped him through his suit. “Peter that’s not necess-“  “Shut up and keep going.” Peter squeezes and Wade grunts. How could he say no to that? He starts again but this time his movements were sloppy, it was hard to concentrate while Peter rubbed him through his suit.  “Peter if you don’t stop-“ “You bet I’m not.” Wade groaned and quickened his hand on Peters cock.  “Fuck. Wade.” That’s when the orgasm hit Wade. He’d never forget how his name sounded in that moment. He also didn’t realize his finger and slipped into Peters ass, not until Peters back curled and a horse cry was heard. He had to have hit the prostate.  Peters whole body felt weightless yet paralyzed at the same time. His skin flushed red and hair damp with sweat. There was an uncomfortable tug at his bottom then emptiness. Peter felt empty.  “I thought you said you weren’t going in?” He asked, not that he minded. “Sorry.” Wade says sitting back, “it just kinda...slipped.”  “What was that in there?”  “It’s called a prostate, God uses it to punish straight men.” Peter chuckles and lays his head back to look up, the fog was still thick. “So uh...that happened.” “Yeah. Usually I wine and dine first.” Peter sits up to look for his suit, he’s bloody freezing now, and covered in his own jizz no less. “This is really going to stain my suit.” “I got you.” Wade reaches into a pouch on his belt and pulls out a baby wipe. “I clean up a lot of blood now.”  “Thanks.” Peter starts to clean his stomach and chest, still bare naked and you know what? He doesn’t even mind. He doesn’t feel the least bit vulnerable with Wade. Of course he still puts his suit back on, he is in the open air after all. “Hey Wade do you like Rocky?”  “Do I like Rocky? Is that even a question? Is it legal to ask that?”  “So yes?” “Hell yeah!” Peter nods and walks back to the ledge.  “Tomorrow night then? Back here? I’ll bring my laptop and a blanket.”  “I’ll bring the snacks and cocaine.” “No drugs.”  “Ok.”  “See you tomorrow then.” Peter jumps from the ledge screaming Adrian, and swinging off into a city that never sleeps.  [Wade.]  “I know.” He says standing up. {And you’re totally chill?}  “I know.” He says with a smile.