#it crossed a threshold a certain while back where panic set in and problem avoidance procedures took over

[anaconda-creates]

day one of the long overdue purge (cleaning my room)

i've uncovered a number of long forgotten things, some sequestered away many years ago and overlooked ever since

the items include my 2019 middle school id card, an embarrassing amount of birthday gift cards, multiple under-eye serums and hand lotions my mother has gifted me over the years in an attempt to do something for my haunting dark circles and dry cracked winter hands, a number of old journals I attempted to start (maximum of five pages written upon in each), big cool marble, so much sunscreen (?), teeny tiny etch a sketch, baby roach corpse, cardboard tube, dead rose (not mine, I'm almost certain. I keep my dried roses elsewhere) My much younger sister has been reaping the bounty of this whalefall. She and her friend, the next door neighbor, have been receiving passed down and discarded headbands, hairclips, bracelets, and other unneeded and unwanted trinkets with glee.

there is much more to be done. the week will be long. but progress, though slow, is already visible. I can almost breathe again.

until the clutter is cleared from the floors so that I may thoroughly vacuum and sweep, my work will not be done. I march forward.

[a-strange-inkling]

SASUSAKU Month Day 6: Sharp Edges

Rating: T (for language)

Summary: “Sakura-chan’s got lots of prospects, but she’s all sharp edges and none of them can get through unscathed.” he told him, giving her a smirk. (Road to Ninja AU, Sequel to Patterns, part of the 2nd Chapter of a story I’ve been working on)

Chapter Two:

Brotherly Love

Outside of missions, Sakura had avoided Sasuke. For many reasons, but the most primary being that she wasn’t sure he fully believed her when she told him that she hated him that night in the woods when certain things occurred that she didn’t want to think about. It wasn’t hard to do, he had other prospects in rotation, there was always a different girl saying goodbye to him at the bridge before their squad left for missions. This time it was some civilian girl, a tall one, almost as tall as him with assets the size of pumpkins.

Sakura sat on the railing, legs crossed, reading the fourth book of the Arrangement series where all her investment rightly belonged. Though, she might have noticed him give the random girl, who was not the same one from a week ago, a peck on the lips before she skipped merrily along.. Sakura knew it was wrong to notice the thickness of girl’s calves, or to think that she was a little old to be skipping around like that, but both thoughts did cross her mind. She couldn’t control thoughts crossing her mind, could she? No.

“Morning, Sakura.” she heard Sasuke say, as he leaned on the railing beside her with a content sigh.

“Morning.” she replied shortly, keeping her attention on her book, all the while thinking how unfair it was. He was kissing girls right in front of her and now that she knew Menma had feelings for her, she couldn’t give him a friendly peck on the cheek or harmlessly flirt to get back at him. Apparently she had a moral compass and had to be considerate of people’s feelings while Sasuke got to do whatever the hell he wanted.

She scowled behind the shield of her book at the thought, when she felt his gloved hand gently pat her bare knee. “How are things?” he asked. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Fine.” she said simply, pivoting her body away from him.

“That’s good… What are you doing tonight?” he asked.

“Not you.” she told him airily.

“Your loss,” he replied with a shrug. “But, not where I was going, my mom wanted me to invite you guys over for dinner tonight.”

She perked up a little at that, Menma was off the table, but maybe she could go back to some older tactics. “Will Itachi be home?”

“No.” he replied firmly, his whole demure changing. “He’s still away visiting his fiance’s family.”

“Hmm, fiancé,” she pondered. “Not wife.”

Sasuke shook his head at her, not at all amused.

“Bummer, I can’t make it,” she replied, getting back to her reading.

“Why not?” he asked.

For one thing, his sexy, older, and far more intelligent brother was not going to be there. Also, he could be bringing that pumpkin hauling giraffe to dinner as well. Alright, she admitted that was a bit uncalled for, but she still wasn’t going to be trapped at a table where she couldn’t ignore his playboy antics.

“I’m busy.” she replied. “...Also, family dinners are not my thing.”

“I know.” he said, his voice softer than before, more sympathetic.

“Don’t.” she warned.

“Don’t what?” he asked, already sounding tired.

“Don’t pity me.”

“Kami, Sakura, I wasn’t!”

“Right.” she didn’t like when he went all soft like that. She didn’t like how it made her feel, nor did she know what to do about it.

So, by default, she was a bitch.

“Fine… I’ll just tell my mom you turned down the offer because you hate her cooking.”

She lowered the book with a threatening glare. “Don’t you dare bring your mother into this.”

Sasuke beamed brightly. He knew far too many of her weaknesses. “It’ll probably make her cry, you know how sensitive she is.”

She looked skyward to the heavens. She would have liked to think that was an exaggeration, but she knew Mikoto-san well enough to know that could very well be the case. “Why so keen that I come?”

“I’ve missed you.” he shrugged again.

“Your new friend going to be there?” she asked before she could stop herself.

“Why?” he asked smugly. “Would that bother you?”

“No, why would it?” she asked calmly, a cool shrug of her shoulders. “I was just wondering.”

“If you say so.” he grinned up at her. “She won’t be there, squad members only.”

She hated the relief that she felt, but managed to turn back to her novel with a curt nod. “Alright, fine.”

“Great.” he smiled. “She’s already making your favorite.”

…

“Aren’t you going to go in, Sakura-chan?” Menma asked, coming to stand beside her, a bouquet of flowers in his hand. She had been waiting for him at the gate of the Uchiha Compound, because she was not going in by herself. Fugaku intimidated her, Mikoto overwhelmed her with her concern and kindness, and Sasuke was Sasuke.

“Didn’t want to go in alone.” she confessed.

“Great, cause I didn’t either,” he breathed in relief. Social gatherings of any kind were also not his sort of thing, but for a completely different reason.

She glanced down at his pretty array of flowers and suddenly felt stupid. She hadn’t thought to bring a hostess gift.

“Damn it.” she stomped her foot and crossed her arms.

“W-what?” Menma asked. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing you did, Menma-kun.” she told him with a huff. “You’re so thoughtful, I didn’t think to even bring anything for Mikoto-san.”

“Oh, well,” he looked down at the floral arrangement. “That’s easy, here.” he divided the flowers and gave half to her.

“No, that’s not fair,” she shook her head and placed up a hand.

“It’s okay, Sakura-chan.” he insisted, pushing the flowers up to her chest, being uncharacteristically bold this evening. “I didn’t even think to, my mom did, she bought the flowers herself. What are teammates for if not to help each other out?” he asked with a beaming smile.

She smiled back, accepting his offer. She liked Menma, she really did. He was quiet and thoughtful and really would make somebody a wonderful boyfriend. He was easily the most amiable of all her classmates and would probably be a good match for her harsh demeanor, as he never brought out that side to her. Plus, he already liked her... so why not pursue him?

Because, you’re in love with me. Sasuke’s unwelcomed voice rang in the back of her head, making her face fall.

That was not the reason. She was not in love with him. That was insane. She didn’t even like him. As she said, to his face, she hated him. She simply didn’t see Menma that way, that’s all. That didn’t mean by default that she was in love with Sasuke.

Together they walked the cobbled path and crossed the threshold into the Uchiha compound. The smells emitting from the house wafted around their noses pleasantly. Shogayki. They really were making her favorite meal.

“Sakura-chan!” Mikoto greeted happily, taking them both by the arm. “And Menma-kun too! Come in! Come in!”

“Hello, Mikoto-san,” Sakura replied warily. She loved Mikoto-san, she did, but the Uchiha matron often overwhelmed her with her affection and motherly concern. It wasn’t that it wasn’t appreciated, but Sakura was set in her parentless ways, and it was always difficult when someone tried to fill the void that could never be filled. “Thank you for having us.” she said as she and Menma both held out their flowers to her.

“Oh!” Mikoto cried, speechless, accepting her gifts. “These are lovely! I must arrange these in a vase!”

With that she was away, down the hall, but before either Sakura or Menma could panic too much about being left alone with no instruction, Sasuke emerged from around the corner, dressed even more casually than usual. “Hey.” he said with a shrug, shoving his hands in his baggy pockets.

Sakura raised a brow. He seemed a little off, not his usual smug self. Quite a difference from his mood early that day.

“Hey, Sasuke.” Menma greeted. “You okay?”

“Yeah, sure. Come on, we’re eating out on the patio.” he said, leading them out to the yard where lights had been strung and the table set as if she and Menma were visiting royalty.

Menma turned to Sasuke excitedly.

“Yes, Menma, you can feed the coi.” Sasuke told him, before the boy could ask, handing him a bag of flakes which the blond took and ran off toward the pond without another word. “Don’t go overboard!”

Sakura peered up at Sasuke. “What’s your problem?” she asked.

“Hey, Sakura.” he drawled sarcastically. “How are you? I’m great. Thanks for coming. You look nice.”

“Fine, be a prick.” she replied with a half shrug. “I don’t care… wait!” she turned and grinned wickedly at him. “You’re only this upset when…”

“Is that you, Sakura?” the rich, silky voice of Uchiha Itachi filled her ears, nearly making her melt where she stood. She turned over her shoulder to find him approaching from the house to join them.

“Hello, Itachi-kun.” she greeted with as much composure as she could muster. He crossed the distance between them and he took her by the arms, looking her up and down in emphasized awe. “You grow more and more beautiful every time I see you.” he told her, making her duck to hide her silly smile and burning cheeks. How quickly this night had improved. No wonder Sasuke was pouting. “How’ve you been?”

“I’m well, thank you.” she told him, glancing over at Sasuke with an amused grin. “I had no idea you were going to be here tonight.”

“None of us did.” Sasuke pointed out in an overly cheery voice. “He surprised us.”

“Yes, I’ve been summoned by the Hokage, quite unexpectedly,” he said. “Cutting my time with Hana’s family short, unfortunately.”

“Oh, will your lovely fiancé be joining us this evening?” Sakura inquired, tilting her head innocently.

“No, it was best she remained at her family’s summer residence, she doesn’t get to spend a lot of time with them these days.”

“Shame.” she replied serenely, noticing Sasuke look skyward from the corner of her eye. Itachi was not only sophisticated and devastatingly handsome, but he also loved to dote on her to get under Sasuke’s skin, just as much as she loved to fawn over him. It was a mutually beneficial relationship.

“And you?” he asked her. “Any romantic prospects for the lovely Haruno Sakura these days?”

“Not at the moment.” she replied with a shake of her head.

“Well, that does not make any sense.” he raised an elegant brow, inclining his head towards his brother cockily, quite aware he was the superior of the two in her eyes. “Does it, Sasuke? Sakura is too beautiful and talented to not have any suitors.”

Sasuke scoffed, his gaze sliding from Itachi’s to hers. Sakura, cursing herself, could feel heat climbing up the back of her neck all the way to the tips of her ears. She was glad she wore her hair down.

“Sakura-chan’s got lots of prospects, but she’s all sharp edges and none of them can get through unscathed.” he told him, giving her a smirk.

“It seems all the good ones are taken already, Itachi-kun.” she lamented, ignoring the younger Uchiha with a slight shrug of the shoulders.

“Ah, just as well.” Itachi sighed wistfully, taking a bold step toward her. “Age and duty may separate us, Sakura, but I must admit I would still be quite jealous of whoever wins your heart.” He concluded with a slight touch of her chin with the curl of his forefinger, much to both her and Sasuke’s surprise, before continuing on his way.

Even for their teasing banter, that was a bit much for Sakura to handle and she let out a small manic giggle, staring after him with a small bite to the corner of her lip.

“He is so cool.” Menma breathed, watching in awe from across the way, as all the coi flakes fell into the pond, slipping from the bag that went slack in his hand. If only he could charm Sakura-chan like that.

“Smooth.” Sasuke commented from behind, making her turn back to him. Now she was the one with the smile. There was no losing for her in this situation, only for him.

It was all really childish for her, but those weekly girls kept dancing around in her head with their flowers and kisses from him and she found she didn’t care.

“Come on, Sasuke, I thought you weren’t the jealous type.”

His gaze narrowed slightly at that, because they both knew that wasn’t the case when it came to Itachi. Everyone took his older brother seriously and saw him as the most exceptional shinobi, Sasuke no matter what he did or how he progressed was just the unfocused playboy, having little to no regard for his studies or his future. There was some real deep rooted family issues there that Sasuke never addressed and probably never would.

“What?” she asked him. “I’m not allowed to flirt with anyone?”

“No, not anyone.” Sasuke told her. “Just not my brother.”

She didn’t like the finality in his voice, it sounded as if he had some real say in the matter.

“Or Menma, it seems.” she pointed out. “So, just whom am I allowed to flirt with?”

“Tch.” his mask hadn’t really been on securely that evening, granted, but now it was slipping and she could see just how agitated he was.

Good. The not so nice side of her subconscious could not help but sneer.

“You know, this ploy between the two of you was amusing at first, but it’s really just getting old.” He told her, quick to go back into hiding behind his smug ass persona. “You going to keep it up after he’s married too? I’m sure Hana will appreciate it.”

“Oh, relax.” she scolded him. “It’s harmless fun.”

“Yeah, I can see you get a real kick out of it.”

“A girl can dream, can’t she?” she replied. Yes, that was a nice blow to the teeth. Now for a knee to the balls. “But don’t worry, Sasuke, I know I’m not good enough for Itachi.”

Sasuke’s brows raised high, while she just smiled sweetly back, knowing she had just set of a detonator in his brain. It would take a minute for him to unscramble. She was getting good at this verbal sparring, soon she could be kicking his ass in this arena like she did on the training grounds.

“I mean, really, who is?”

Bet you wished you brought your pumpkin hauling giraffe now? She thought to herself, watching him work quickly to counter the attack. Too low, too far maybe? The nicer side of her subconscious suggested. Huh? Sakura didn’t hear from her too often, and never when Sasuke was around.

She was suddenly aware of the gravity of his gaze, he looked like he wanted to throw her off a cliff or kiss her. She wasn’t sure which. She felt some panic stirring at her core and grew agitated.

There was no losing tonight, or did she forget?

“Here’s an idea, Sakura.” he pointed out, far too calm after that low blow for her liking. “If you really wanted to make me jealous, why don’t you flirt with someone you actually have feelings for.”

It was her turn to be dumbfounded.

“Oh wait,” he said with mock realization. “You can’t.”

[sketchbook-project-ba1b-1602522]

“Weekly Summary, Week 4″ - 16.01.2017-20.01.2017

Animated Sketchbook Reel - Animated Sketchbook” - 19.01.2017 

So begin with, I looked back at my sketchbook and the ‘Storyboard’ I made for my 'Sack of Flour’, observing the 'Keyframes’ that I’d drawn and if anything could be improved. Happy with what I’d already drawn, I decided to go ahead with these 'Keyframes’. First I studied how the animator’s draw fire in 'The Last Airbender’, from their fire down to their 'Poses’, the show has taken a lot of influence from 'Martial Arts’. As I’m basing my second animation off of ‘Element Bending’ from the show, I watched the ‘Animatic’ and evaluated on how I’m going to draw 'Fire Bending’. Additionally, the movements of the characters and their stances before ‘Bending Fire’ is relevant to me as well. Searching for resources, I found a video showing the ‘Final Pencil Sketch’ from the show before colouring. I wanted to view how these sort of propelled flames would act in real-life. So searched around, I found this video showing a flamethrower spraying flames in slow-motion. A great help with the process of making the effects and adding a touch of realism to my work. The next ‘Principle’ to be implemented is ‘Arc’, the reason I choose this one was to push the ‘Martial Arts’ theme of the animation. I drew the stances of my 'Sack of Flour’, plotting all the 'Keyframes’ my three main actions, constantly thinking about my 'Principles’, integrating the ones previously used but taking special care to implement 'Arcs’. The reason for this is so I can achieve an animated character with sweeping, dramatic movements. I drew the ‘Tie-downs’ and 'Inbetweens’ on the animation, even continuing on to the second set of actions to have the 'Sack of Flour’ cycle back to his original position. Ss far, I’m really pleased with the 'Dynamic’ animation style and think if it carries on to be this successful, it may even turn out better that the 'Kitchen Nightmares’ animation. But before that, I need to add the 'Secondary Action’, the flour bending.The use of the ‘Seconary Action’ really completes this animation, and from the beginning to here I’ve noticed how detrimental the planning of this animation has been to its success. The 'Dynamics’ of the arcing movement and the flashiness of the flour really make for an 'Appealing’ animation, but I do think that it needs to be tweaked, 'Easing In and Out’ certain movements in the animation due to the 'Sack of Flour’ being a bit to light on his feet. What needs to be included next is the ‘Staging’ of the animation to display the environment and complete the scene.

“Narrative Week 4″ - 17.01.2017

We learned about ‘The Shapes of Stories’, ‘The Hero’s Journey’, ‘Three act and five act structure’ and this units ‘essay questions’. To begin with, shapes of stories were cover. We learned about the similarities between the new testament and the fairy tale Cinderella, since they both purses a similar structure.

Beginning with a human receiving ‘incremental gifts from a deity’, but is ‘suddenly ousted from good standing’ in the middle, but then ‘receives off-the-chart bliss’ in the end. On the other hand, we learned about the ‘Old Testament’, which has ‘a human receive incremental gifts from a deity’, but is then ‘ousted from good standing in a fall of enormous proportion’. As well as this, we re-visited Vogler’s ‘The Hero’s Journey’.

Later, reasoning can to light. Why do we tell stories?

The Rehearsal Reason - the brain is like a muscle, and gets stronger by ‘practising’ for difficult scenarios (and how to avoid them).

The Healing Reason - Watching a character heal his flaws helps us heal (and recognise our own).

The Information Retrieval Reason - Stories make information easier to remember (by showing us cause and effect).

The Panacea Reason - Stories with happy endings give us hope: even history can be rewritten to suggest a sense of order and justice.

The Procreation Reason - A story ends in sexual union, or its ‘symbloc manifestation through marriage’; on a basic level these stories encourage the continuation of the species (fairy tales in particular).

The Psychological Reason - Stories separate the disparate parts of our own psyche into external characters: they play out a process of integration - helping us to achieve this: overcoming our own shadows, giving up on our shallow ego-driven wants in order to fulfil our needs.

What’s is an act? A part of a story (consisting of individual scenes, which may belong to a sequence of linked scenes). We learned the difference between ‘3-act’ and ‘5-act structure’, and how Shakespearean play had a 5 part story. We then analysed the 3-act structure. Continuing on and really fleshing out the process a three-act story may follow.

And comparing its differences with Freytag’s 5-stage pyramid that we saw in previous lessons.

Then breaking down the specific of the Three-Act structure:

Act I - The introduction to the story setting up the story, this act usually lasts from 20 to 30 minutes. “It’s all about our somebody and the wants something.” (Michael Lengsfield)

Act II - The second act usually last for half the movie (up to an hour), focusing on the “trouble getting” (MIchael Lengsfield) the want.

Act III - In this last half hour, the story begins to be resolved. The character who overcomes the obstacles in Act II is now changed from the encounters. They gather their strength for one last final confrontation that will answer the story questions and bring the story to a close.

Next, we looked at the Three-Act structure when following “The Hero’s Journey” (Vogler’s Version)

Act I (Separation)

Heroes are introudced in the ‘Ordinary World’.

They receive the ‘Call to Adventure’.

They’re ‘reluctant’ at first or ‘refuse the call’.

They are then encouraged by a ‘Meeting with a Mentor’.

‘Cross the First Threshold’ and enter the ‘Special World’.

Act II: Descent and Initiation

Along the way, they encounter ‘Tests, Allies, and Enemies’.

They ‘Approach the Inmost Cave’, crossing a ‘second threshold’.

They endure the ‘Ordeal’/Death and Rebirth’. The mid-point of the story, where the ‘new truth dawns’ for the protagonist, who “embraces for the first time the quality they will need to become complete and finish their story.” (Yorke, 2013)

They take possession of their ‘Reward’.

Act III

The protagonist is pursued on ‘The Road Back’ to the ordinary world, undergoing a spiritual death.

They cross the third threshold, experience a ‘Resurrection’ and are transformed by the experience.

They ‘Return with the Elixir’, the treasure to benefit the ‘Ordinary World’.

The Midpoint - usually ups the stakes and intensifies in action. Revealing the direction the 2nd half of the story will go. The moment when the protagonist turns from ‘reaction’ to ‘action’, dealing with their problems actively.

Yorke presents an adapted version for 2-D storytelling.

Lastly, we looked at the projects essay question, this is where we decide what kind of essay we want to write by choosing our questions, in turn influencing what kind of animation we write about.

Analyse your chosen narrative with reference to ‘The Hero’s Journey’, or another appropriate theory of three-act or five-act structure.

Make a ‘Proppian analysis’ of an animated fairy tale with reference to its literary source, if applicable. Discuss the particular suitability of the film’s animation style as a method of discourse for the telling of a fairy tale.

Walt Disney once remarked that, ‘We like to have a point to our stories, not an obvious moral but a worthwhile theme.’ Analyse your chosen narrative as an example of moral or ‘worthwhile’ storytelling.

‘Only available in animation.’ To what extent does this Paul Wells quote apply to your chosen film? Explain how the medium and materials enter, shape, and define the narrative. If your chosen film subverts or ignores conventional expectations of a ‘plotted’ narrative, identify the strategies employed in its place.

Animation is a uniquely visual medium. Analyse your chosen narrative as a successful example of visual storytelling.

Paul Wells has written of animation’s licence to be more radical than live action cinema, due to the ‘inherent innocence’ in the ‘language of animation’. How does this apply to your chosen narrative?

For our assignment, we were instructed to look at different narratives to narrow down what kind of essay we wanted to write in preparation for next weeks presentation.

Animated Sketchbook Reel - Animated Sketchbook” - 19.01.2017

For my third showreel animation, water reference was needed before beginning since this would be my first time animating water. So I found a few images depicting the process of water animation in 2-D, rippling outwards until it becomes less and less visible. I also looked at different styles of drawing water, observing how the ripples and splashes are drawn. Looking at different aspects and ways of drawing the liquid. I feel that this animation will be my hardest yet. So before tackling the third animation, I believe that I attempted a test first. With the test, I drew a fishbowl and attempted to have the water ripple inside. Immediately, I noticed the difficulty of having the rippling stay at a consistent, believable speed. Additionally, water behaves different to a character, so I’m finding it challenging applying such ‘Principle’ of 'Ease Out’ to the ripples. Nevertheless, I attempted to figure it out while animating my third animation. I drew the ‘Keyframes’ for the animation. Firstly, the character begins face down in the water until he suddenly emerges in a panic, breathing heavy and flailing about. He then begins to calm down and regains his composure. I added additional frames into the animation to really get an understanding of the 'Timing’, this way I could tweak appropriately until the animation flows. So I drew the additional ‘Tie-downs’ in basic ‘Semiotic’ shapes but added features to the character’s face, I viewed the 'Timing’ of the movement to gauge the speed so I could adjust any frames to improve the animation. From judging it, I feel that the animation goes way to fast, I also need to add small details in the character’s body to have him constantly moving, as if he’s distressed. So from here, I went back in and starting drawing the 'Inbetweens’. I continued on and animated the water for the animation, as well as adding more frames to the character’s movement and adjusting his ‘Posing’ in select frames. After evaluating the animation, it’s still too fast. Additionally, I found it to be really challenging trying to draw the water consistently due to it being liquid. You can’t 'Keyframe’ it, so I decided to draw it using 'Follow-Through’ which worked better than trying to 'Key’ it, but flows too fast, looking more like rapids rather than the calm beach shore I’m trying to go for.

Stop-Motion” - 19.01.2017

For this induction, the class was introduced to creating stop-motion animations using ‘Wire-mesh’ models and ‘Ball-and-socket’ models. For my group, we were assigned to the pinning station. The pinning station is where you’d use the ‘Wire-mesh’ puppets and pin them down to the wooden board to stabilise them before capturing the pose.

On the other hand, the other station uses magnets to magnetise the ‘Ball-and-socket’ puppets to the grid.

To begin with, me and my partner chose our puppets and then to animate using the ‘Straight-ahead’ technique in animation. This is used in ‘Stop-Motion’ due to it being difficult to animate ‘Keys’ in ‘Stop-Motion’. We finished the animation and from looking back, I feel that the character’s intentions are portrayed well, but everything happens too fast. The problem with the speed may cause the viewer to lose track of small details in the animation. Overall, I believe that this first attempt was good, however, another attempt is needed since I believe that the more control I have over the process, the smoother everything will sync together.

Conclusion

To start with, this has been an extremely busy week. Cramming so much work into my schedule. I was able to create to amazing 2-D animations for my 'Animated Showreel'. Additionally, being introduced to 'Stop-Motion' was a new and welcomed experience, allowing me to experiment with animating with a real object instead of drawing every frame. For next week, I plan to further my knowledge on 'Stop-Motion' and push myself in creating different animations.