#it was nice also to do some literary analysis ^^

[goat-shoe]

ok, i Rant time

ive been reading this fic Knowing itd be a mess and im just... ive had it with this characterization! aimless rant below ^^;;;

tw for bullying, harassment, abuse, homophobia

so a lot of highschool AUs are just..... Bad? like LOL sorry :x but. youre taking away everything interesting about the miraculous holders, And youre trying to make Fully Grown Adults into children. ??????

n e ways, i found this highschool dropout au,,, im Sure you can guess how i feel abt dugout and tiderdrop together, but personal biases aside (its Icky to me and someday ill figure out why)..... lets read this fic.

(to prove i am Not taking things out of context, heres the whole fic)

FIRST of all, youre ognna notice that the prose is Boring, written in long and uninspired runon sentences. i dont wanna just bash on an inexperienced writer, but if youre gonna be this lazy about it.. who is it for :x

second, headcanoning mariquitas name as the Only spanish name you can think of that starts with "mari"? is just uninspired. mariquita wouldnt Choose a hero name so obviously close to her Real Name.. again im not an unmasker, but this headcanon is ridiculous....

finally, and most importantly.... "he sighs wearily". umm, No actually. he Doesnt. you dont even get an insight into dugouts thoughts other than "im nervous about school >m<"

Needless to say, this and his whiny, whimpering demeanor is incredibly infantilizing,. Furthermore in this context, all it does is plays into the ""yaoi"" trope of a big buff bad big boy x boy who says uwaaah! (i hope it goes without saying, this is Not a condemnation of boys who say uwahh, yall are doing gods work and ily)

cramming tigerdrop and dugout into this trope comes off as (and actually is) incredibly homophobic and harmful. need i remind you, these are real people. i wouldnt be surprised if this author was a fujoshi or something too :x

anyways.

im a dugout fan Because hes reserved, but in this fic, thats being watered down to him just being sad and whiny.

its just so insulting to be written shrugging every 3 sentences. dugout im so sorry theyre doing this to you ;;;

guhh. ill give them points for this cute relationship with mariquita...

but again, the prose is just.. clumsy. and again, all dugout does is whine about change. its not even a realistic portrayal of adjustment disorder :x

speaking of disorders Lol,

we Know how i feel abt tigerdrop, but i tend to actually like fanfic portrayals of him.

but this one is just... Confusing...

(also we have mandatory "describe their entire outfit in vapid detail" LOL i should have made this a bingo)

i havent really been talking about the plot, but heres what it took the author two chapters to get through:

dugout it new in town, hes nervous about the changes. (we dont even know why he misses home??? just, make it up i guess, god forbid a fanfiction Make That part up!!!!!!)

tigerdrop has lived in new york all his life, and he appears to be pretty bored with life (ex: pushes pipsqueak over just because he thought itd be funny, no doubt an allusion to the canal street incident last july)

his characterization is actually really confusing and i think its supposed to be like, Alluring??? but its just disconcerting :x

thats It. Two established characters and empty conversations with others (the mariquita mischaracterization especially drives me up the wall ever since i confirmed my kin with her)

they meet in math class when dugout unknowingly sits in tigerdrops seat..... girl, Literally no one in high school acts like this.

at this point, this fic is no better than glee and the millions of other incorrect and careless portrayals of highschoolers. tigerdrop has some weird banter with the faceless teacher (yet Another reason i hate most highschool fics)

:/ i Kinda saw it coming, but....

tigerdrop apologizing and not meaning it? In character. But, hes just acting like a greaser, and its Weird

dugout wouldnt care! he would not look like "a deer in the Headphones."

i Realize the author doesnt have a beta reader but :x that doesnt excuse pawning off lazy work btw, in case anyone was wondering....

last but probably Most important: this is setting up such a toxic dynamic. tigerdrop is actively pushing the message that dugout is taking up too much space and he doesnt belong. its alienating and shitty. and this is a fic Shipping Them :x

but i Clicked on a dropout fic, so.... should i be surprised :/

like i said. dugout is Already afraid of him.. his body is reacting just to the sound of his voice, not unlike trauma in PTSD victims!

like. guh. this is literally so toxic. also..

take a shot every time you see the word "smirks"

lips ghosting his nose And ear? Lol.....

likely The Worst way to incorporate their miraculous personas :x reading this literally made me nauseous.

anyways.... thats all of the fic thats been posted so far. so to summarize: this is just Icky. its even worse, setting this kind of relationship in their high school years :x imagine if someone treated you this way! youre Not gonna grow up and marry them.

i Cant even.

~ ty for reading <3 ~

[syndrossi]

You know, we talk a lot about how the boys are amazing and skilled and are basically seen to be prodigies at everything, but are there things that they're bad at?

For instance, I was wondering what would happen if one of their maesters had to give Daemon the equivalent of an F report card for one of his kids, or even just requested a meeting to discuss a concern, and how Daemon (not to mention the boys themselves!) would respond to that.

This is a fun ask! At their age, given their huuuuge advantages/head-start, most things would honestly be nitpicking, but if the maesters had to...

Jon can't sing, obviously. Has no concept of a tune, except when one sounds nice while he's listening to it.

Both Jon and Rhaegar are given to tunnel-vision, but in different ways. Jon, for example, prefers to focus on things that actually matter or are interesting to him. If he's not interested, he tends not to apply himself very hard. Granted, by eight-year-old standards, he still looks like a savant. Whereas Rhaegar can go so far down a rabbit hole that only Jon can pull him back out, and the expense of keeping an eye on the broader picture.

Both children are considered overly combative/bossy, again in different ways. When Jon thinks someone is wrong, he does not hesitate to point it out very bluntly, and he tends to view himself as in the right. Rhaegar is far more diplomatic about someone being wrong, but his bossiness can be viewed as bordering on arrogance where he takes obedience/cooperation as his due (hello crown-prince-syndrome). Those are qualities that would be considered excellent in an heir; less so in a child as far down in the succession as he is. I'm sure Daemon gets blamed for those qualities in his sons lol.

Rhaegar is okay at sums for his age, but it's definitely not his strong suit. Jon tends to do better here, especially on the geometry side of things, where he's very intuitive.

Rhaegar is terrible at practical trades/crafts. Aka in modern terms, the "handyman" things someone would be able to do on their own: fixing an appliance, figuring out what's wrong with the car. In time period appropriate comparisons, I guess things like figuring out what to do if your horse's reins are damaged. Jon scores much higher here since it was kind of necessary in his line of work. (Rhaegar wasn't done any favors by having things generally taken care of / done for him.)

Jon hates doing literary analysis and is pretty bad at it. What do you mean he's supposed to intuit what the author was attempting to convey through prose/character interaction/dialogue, etc? Why can't it just be a story? Why does the story have to have meaning, why can't it just be entertaining? Whereas Rhaegar eats that shit up lol.

This isn't a "bad at," but at some point, Rhaegar will try to get Jon into drawing/art, which I think he would actually be quite good at! Rhaegar knows he's pretty mediocre at it himself, but he's quite content with singing/the harp.

Daemon would laugh himself sick if any maester approached him with "your sons are too bossy," though. His sons cannot help that they know better than men five decades their senior! Or that their hapless cousins require direction at all times! Why shouldn't people follow their lead?

Daemon also strikes me as someone who bursts with pride when his sons excel academically but as soon as their struggles are pointed out in an area would immediately flip to "that doesn't matter / isn't applicable outside of the Citadel." Like, he would try to help Rhaegar with his sums if that was what Rhaegar wanted, or work with Jon on his terrible pitch, but eh. Dragonriding and skill with arms is far more important!

[vilecemetery]

other people have worded it better then me, but inej's assertion about having kaz in the without armor scene was clearly not just about emotional vulnerability. it’s a powerful line in the books and a nice metaphor for emotional intimacy, (something inej deserves from kaz) but let's not shy away from the fact that she also made it clear she meant physical intimacy, as her words were "fully clothed, gloves on, head turned away so our lips can never touch" 

this nuance is important to consider, as it reflects the depth and complexity of her feelings at the time. it’s ironic that for people who apparently care so much about inej’s boundaries, the fandom rarely pays attention to what she says. inej has flaws and virtues, some affected by different experiences she's had, and that affects her choices. her words aren’t any less hurtful because of this. she got kaz in a vulnerable moment and said something cruel. later she reflects on this and admits she shouldn’t be holding kaz to standards she can’t meet herself, and she likely said that to him in the first place because she lashed out about something that’s personally a trigger for her and she’s vulnerable about. they both have a lot of issues surrounding physical intimacy. 

that’s one reason why kanej is such a good ship- one of the most healthy, beautiful and nuanced relationships ever between two children who have been through horrific things, exploited, abandoned, and put in danger every day, who have found safety and friendship and understanding in each other. they aren’t going to be speaking super politely and using sensitive, respectful, inoffensive woke therapy speak at every second because that’s not their situation or their relationship and their interactions are raw and real. sometimes they make mistakes (kaz calling inej an investment, inej saying kaz wouldn’t be able to have her if he couldn’t touch her, etc) but they recognise and admit when they do and work through that. the beauty of their friendship lies in their imperfections and their capacity to learn from each other. the bare honesty they share is a testament to their growth, even when it leads to moments of pain or misunderstanding.

to suggest that holding inej to a higher standard and not acknowledging that her words could be perceived as hurtful is akin to ignoring the very human aspects of her character. it’s essential to recognize that she is capable of making mistakes or risk turning her into a perfect fandomised queen incapable of fault. her character's journey is not about being infallible, but about growth, self-reflection, and the courage to confront and overcome her fears. strong and resilient, yet also capable of causing harm, even unintentionally. 

there’s a phenomenon in fandom spaces but particularly the grishaverse where fans have an opinion of something and then deem everyone else’s as bad or wrong, going so far as to make posts calling out other people for having different analysis. literary discussions should encourage an environment where different interpretations are welcomed and discussed respectfully, not minimised and devalued for a more popular fandom take that’s often incorrect when compared with the text of the book anyway. it’s okay for inej to make mistakes and learn from them, just as it's okay for readers to have varied interpretations of their interactions.

[angelsdean]

Honestly I hate that every meta post / analysis / discussion is viewed as "discourse" more often than not. And the idea that one interpretation MUST reign supreme among fandom. That we must all agree in order to get along. Or that one post is the end all be all of someone's takes. As someone who often enjoys entertaining multiple / contradictory takes and angles of interpretation it's...annoying. My opinions also evolve and fluctuate on rewatches / depending on mood / depending on fandom climate at the time / etc.

I like having discussions with friends (sometimes those discussions are public, sometimes they're not). I like trying to see their POV. Sometimes I come away seeing things differently. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I AM more critical of other characters in the moment. Sometimes I give them more grace. Sometimes I'll make a post in a rewatch, feeling big feelings, and then come back later to amend it, with a more balanced perspective. But there have been times when I have been blocked / unfollowed for one angle or take and that ends up not even being my MAIN mode of interpretation but just something I was rotating around. idk sometimes a post is not the end all be all of what someone thinks abt a character / plot point / story arc. Sometimes we can be critical without being a capital H hater. There is room for nuance. multitudes. contradiction. We can have preferences or think something was not portrayed as well as it could have been. We can be annoyed by those things and talk abt them. I also do not need to agree with every single take my mutuals and pals have. Sometimes I heavily diverge, and that's ok! I think having different viewpoints and candid discussions is often beneficial to fandom. But these discussions are not all "discourse" or "fandom fighting." Sometimes people just have different opinions or interpretations. Sometimes what looks like "discourse" is actually just fandom friends discussing differing viewpoints.

As someone who also likes arguing a thesis and citing sources to support an argument and doing analysis and literary interpretation, I can say that even for takes I don't necessarily agree with, effective arguments can be made for that interpretation and supported by canon evidence. I think that's why "open to interpretation" often chafes at some fans. Because it means multiple interpretations CAN exist and be effectively argued. Mine and yours. There is no one singular ultimate truth in literary interpretation. Not even authorial intent. That's the beauty and fun of media analysis IMO. We can each find different meaning from the same source material and diverge. I may continue to argue for my interpretation (in the academic sense of "arguing a thesis") because that's the position I've chosen to align with, but that doesn't mean I think it's the only one you CAN have. And no, not all interpretations are created equal or are argued in good faith. Some ARE more valid than others and better argued / supported. And sometimes an interpretation is only one of many a person can have.

Overall, I don't like the idea that fandom needs to be a hive mind, and that we all MUST have the same opinions or interpretations or come away from the show feelings the same way or else it's "ruining the fandom fun." Sometimes I staunchly disagree with people, especially when takes are rooted in bad faith fanon more than anything that actually transpired on screen. I won't play nice with people that are just Making Up Some Guy to be mad and insisting I must also hate that guy, who doesn't exist. But I can and do have discussions with friends and mutuals where we interpret canon events differently! And I value those other perspectives. They challenge me to question my own viewpoint, to interrogate my takes, to check myself when I get too rooted in Only One Way of thinking. I don't want there to only be one way of interpreting. And sometimes even I will contradict myself and explore other avenues, for the fun of it.

and before THIS post gets interpreted as discourse I would like to issue the disclaimer: that this isn't directed at any individual blogger or any specific post. do not go after anyone. this is just some general thoughts and feelings I've been having about fandom for a LONG time.

[got-into-worm-by-mistake]

Okay, I've Read Worm: A Retrospective Part 1: How The Fuck Did I Get Here?

I don't know exactly what I'm going to be doing with all these posts, but at a minimum, we will be having the following, not necessarily in this order:

A discussion of some of the parts of Worm I liked most. Some genuine and well-earned praise for Wildbow.

An analysis of Amy Dallon as she exists in Worm, though more for unpacking my own thoughts in one place rather than some deep literary stuff.

A discussion of things I was genuinely surprised by in the Text itself versus the stuff I picked up via fandom osmosis and fanfic. Expectation vs reality and stuff.

A discussion of just who the fuck the target audience of Worm actually probably maybe was, and what the fuck I just read.

And a detailed (for my own unpacking of thoughts than to convince anyone of anything) discussion of why I'm not going to read Ward. Nothing new there, but still, it'll be nice to put it all one one place.

But first, let's take a step back and answer one very important question: How in the bloody fuck did I end up here? How the fuck did reading Worm even happen? Because as I've said before, superhero media isn't my thing, I'm definitely not the target audience for Worm, and while I enjoyed it, only liking it 60% is a barely passing grade, as it were.

So how the blue hell did I end up here?

I don't know exactly when I first became aware of Worm. What I do know is that I was loosely aware of it by 2019, because I was active on SpaceBattles, and of course, Worm is all over there. I'd see the name, and I knew it referred to a work of fiction, but that's about all I knew. It might have been before 2019 that I first heard the name, it might not have. I say by 2019, because I know that sometime in 2019, I was in a discord server associated with one of the many spinoff sites to Spacebattles (I believe it was Frozen in Carbonite, which was honestly a pretty noxious website but I didn't know that going in) and I made a post using this meme:

And I got an answer that was something to the effect of 'It's an edgy villain protagonist superhero story'. And so I shrugged, and I moved on. Not my speed. Superheroes aren't my thing, not really, not in of themselves. I first got into AoS watching it with my then GF back in... 2015? And then I got into shipping Skyeward in it. Then I watched Arrow because some of the people I followed from Skyeward were into it and again, pretty much stayed for the shipping and certain characters. Flash and Legends of Tomorrow and Supergirl were entered into as branching off from Arrow.

And yes I've watched a good chunk of the MCU, but mostly because why not watch a movie and there's a handful of characters I liked. But I've never read a single superhero comic book, as far as I can recall, and I've never really been super into any superhero cartoons, just watched them if they happened to be on Cartoon Network when I was a kid.

At some point between then and this year, I found a Worm CYOA on r/nsfwcyoa, and despite never having read it, gave it a look, played around with it, and picked up random errant facts about the story and characters therein. I would revisit this CYOA and similar ones as they got updates, and along the way got my first exposure to the whole 'fanon' problem of the Worm fandom, when one of the options in one of the CYOAs was to make certain popular fanon true for the version of Earth-Bet 'your character' appeared in for the CYOA. Things like making Woobie Amy true, or turning Vicky into the Collateral Damage Barbie she's cast as by some people, et cetera.

And then, at some point probably late last year or early this year, I think, I was on Questionable Questing (the pervert uncle of Spacebattles, as it were) and I saw a fic get posted that was Worm - so, prepared to ignore it - and then I saw it was also tagged with several of my kinks. And I've read smutfics that aren't for one of my fandoms if I really like the kinks and it's just a smutfic, so I gave it a show. How much do you need to know about the source canon for a smutfic, eh?

I don't remember much about that fic, or even which of my kinks in particular it had, but I would read a few other such stories here and there until sometime in... probably May or so, maybe late April, when I made an errant post on QQ in a thread discussing stories you considered but never actually read, that I had considered Worm (because by then I had, ish, after some of the various go-arounds with the CYOA and picking up bits of osmosis here and there) but that the whole thing sounded too bleak and grimdark and depressing.

This spawned a conversation about Worm, and if it was really grimdark (one person I think went so far as to say it wasn't even depressing or bleak, and oh to live in that person's world) and if it was really a deconstruction or a love letter to superhero media or a takedown of superhero media or w/e. And at some point, someone made a comment about Wildbow having disdain for his fans, or something like that.

And I was like 'I feel like there's a story there'. And yes there was. One of the things that came up were the so-called 'retcons' of Ward re: Amy (whether or not they are actually retcons is beyond the point of this post, please don't discuss it here). And here's the thing, my thought then was: I've been there.

I've been there when characters have been set on, or are seemingly being set up for, some kind of redemption arc, and then some new installment pulls the rug out from under the character in a way that feels very, very deliberately aimed at fans of the character. Grant Ward is the most notable case of this for me. 2015 and 2016 me had quite a few things to say about that. 2024 me lacks the energy or desire to go into detail.

It's not fun, either way. So I sympathized. And I figured that probably meant Amy Dallon would be my sort of character. But I didn't want to read Worm - it sounded depressing, it was 1.6 million words, Taylor didn't sound super appealing and I knew she was the main POV, and superheroes aren't my thing.

But it wouldn't leave my head. So I started poking around on places like r/parahumans (a den of bad takes and noxious fans if there ever was one) and r/WormFanfic and the Parahumans wiki and looked through a few threads on SB and started trawling the Amy Dallon tag here on Tumblr and developed some thoughts.

Amy Dallon, and the injustice of what happened to her in Ward had crawled inside my head and it wasn't going anywhere. I ranted to my friends about all the shit I'd learned and was like 'I HAVEN'T EVEN READ THIS WORK AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I WANT TO AND IT JUST WON'T LEAVE MY BRAIN!'. I remember seeing a post saying something about how someone who had read worm couldn't relate to people who hadn't and weren't constantly thinking about Amy and I reblogged it saying 'I haven't even read Worm and I'm constantly thinking about Amy' and I think the OP of the post reblogged my reblog and called me a whole new kind of person or something. I don't remember and don't care to go digging.

The things that held me back the most continued to be the sheer length of Worm, a fear that Taylor would be insufferable and the fact that it still sounded godforsakenly depressing. (2 out of 3 ain't bad, as Meatloaf Says). So eventually I decided to go poking around and read some fic to get the idea if I'd actually read it. I don't remember all the ones I read in this period, but they included: I, Panacea, Desperate Times Call For Desperate Pleasures, Queen of Blood and More Than Meets The Eye. It was around this time I also started getting multiple Worm Fic Ideas, which was... fun. Because you know, it's one thing to read fanfic without knowing the source canon, but I've always loathed in previous fandoms when people say they're writing a fic for a canon they've only read fic from (and was always an immediate X-out for me) and I have too much dignity self-respect as a writer to do that myself.

Now, fic ideas don't mean I have to write them. I have ASOIAF and TVD fic Ideas I'm never going to write, and my notebooks across the ages are littered with fic Ideas I had and then put aside and never wrote. Some still haunt my dreams like Edgar Allen Poe's Telltale Heart. But still.

Eventually, after someone made a comment to me to the effect of 'with all due respect, if you haven't read Worm, shut up about it' I decided to at least make an effort to read it. Spite was my original intent - I wanted to see if my opinion about Amy's storyline in Worm specifically would remain the same (and it broadly has) and if so, I would feel satisfied I'd been right.

(For the record, It did remain the same (pretty much, more on this in a future post) and I do feel satisfied that I was right.)

And so, on June 16th, half on a whim and half because I knew I'd have things to say and I wanted to section them off my main blog, I made this blog and began reading Gestation 1.1. I gave it even odds in my head I'd give up before I was more than a few arcs in.

Wasn't even tempted until Arcs 12 and 13. Then was tempted again in the absolute nadir of the work, 17-19. And then again during the Behemoth fight. Once I got past that, I was never temped.

So that's I got here. Existing adjacent to Worm for years, some osmosis, an ill-timed comment, some snarky responses and a character that burrows into my brain by hitting all of my buttons.

[kafkaoftherubble]

时鞭自我弊不轻，永宽他人宜为重

//The Intrigue Of Tokinaga Sachiyuki

In the first essay, I speculated about Ahu’az, Furuya Rin (a.k.a. Yako), and Chapter 58.

This one, meanwhile, is a character analysis of Tokinaga. It is the second of my After God essay series. Beware; it's a long read.

You don’t always get one of your favorite characters gone through my Lyndisian treatment, @orange-peel-candy, so I hope this has been a good way for you to pass the time.

Oh, you’re curious about what the Chinese title says?

“Always punishing himself for his profound sins; always forgiving others and prioritizing their virtues.”

It’s my crappy attempt at making a 对联, “duilian poetry.”

There are rules in making one. The same number of characters are used in both lines to form a couplet. There have to be counterpoints in tonal pattern between two lines, such that if they “counter” each other. Words from both lines have to be within the same category, and the meaning of the first line must correspond to the second line's meaning.

I did break one rule though: the first line’s last character has to be of an “oblique” tone while the second line’s last character has to be of a “leveled” tone. In my duilian title, the opposite is true.

There’s also just how lacking in beauty my poetry is. Not much can be done about my genuine absence of literary competency, I’m afraid!

Yes. You might also have noticed it. The first character of both lines makes up the word “时永/ 時永,” which is... “Tokinaga.”

---------------------------------------

Super Good Guy; Very Moral

The first time I read this manga, the one thing that stood out a lot to me, especially against the backdrop of After God’s society and every other character in this series—is how unambiguously moral Tokinaga is.

This is how Nayuu described the Bio-Tech department:

Chapter 4

Not even a minute passed and we got this scene:

Chapter 4

Tokinaga stood out a lot because he was the only one who opposed the unethical treatment of  “a child,” even though such a thing was standard of his colleagues. These people were known for being unscrupulous, yet Tokinaga was calling people out like he was a YouTuber dropping some bombs about his fellow creators.

There are many, many moments like these. In a world full of characters with grey morality, he stood out like a sore thumb just on the virtue of his unyielding, monkish self-discipline.

Chapter 4. Dude was seriously against this when no one else commented on it.

Chapter 9

One might, because of this, pass him over as uninteresting (at least, before the reveal of who he is). He’s straight-laced! He’s nice! He’s the good guy. He will do what’s ethically right; there’s no ambivalence. And yet, I’ve always found his strange fixation with ethics fascinating.

Yes, there’s a personal angle to this—a very close acquaintance (to my chagrin) is incredibly interested in ethics and often ponders about them, even if that situation or thought experiment is pragmatically insignificant. Another dear friend of mine also adheres to ethical principles with the same level of monkish discipline. In both cases, there are deeper reasons for their fixations.

Even before the reveal of Tokinaga’s other identity, this quality of him was already grounds for curiosity. With the benefit of hindsight, I’ll even argue that the mangaka has been teasing us about the full scope of his character with little psychological breadcrumbs.

There is a startling lack of flexibility in Tokinaga’s frame of ethics.

Tokinaga seemed dangerously close to holding a black-and-white morality. But there’s more to it.  

He’s perfectly capable of allocating leeway to most people whose ethics and morals are less than exemplary. After all, the department he cooperates with—due to Waka—is deadass staffed with moral-is-optional weirdos. Their amorality doesn’t make him see them as less, though. He values every single one of them—their safety sent him into a self-sacrificial panic, while their lost lives crushed him straight into depression.

It seems to me that, in Tokinaga’s mind, the only person who should adhere to this black-and-white morality is himself. He needs to be. He has to be.

-----

“Apologize! Apologize! Apologize!”

Chapter 33 is one of my favorite chapters in the manga so far. It’s raw as fuck and a great character study—and it features a very intriguing facet of Tokinaga’s psychology.

Now, dude had just experienced a heart-wrenching betrayal from a dear friend. Losing control of his emotions was only expected of anyone. But he had a very peculiar fixation. Despite the weight of Orokapi’s crimes (including the many people he had murdered as the Snake God), Tokinaga was hyper-focus on only two things: the injustice Orokapi had done to him—and the act of apology.

Previously, he spelled out why he didn’t believe Orokapi could apologize: “You can’t apologize, feel remorse, have a change of heart, or comprehend sadness.” And yet, subsequently, “apologize to me” was what he fixated on. He discarded the commands from his superior and colleague and went berserk in his personal demand for that apology:

Why is an apology somehow enough to forgive the things Orokapi has done? Lives were lost. Damages were done. Orokapi, as Tokinaga’s mentor had said, doesn’t live by human ethics and acts like an animal. And even Tokinaga himself had called Orokapi’s capacity for remorse into question.

So why the fixation with apology? Because, I’d argue, to Tokinaga, it’s the “right” ritual to do. Tokinaga’s stringent, black-and-white ethics demand a ritual.

It demands something that needs to be performed after crossing ethical wrongs, even if it no longer makes sense. Here, an apology is a ritual of absolution, even if it’s technically useless after all that had happened.

Tokinaga clings to it. Why?

Could it be because it’s a ritual Tokinaga himself undertakes?

As you continue the chapter, you might notice��with the benefit of hindsight—that the things Tokinaga was screaming almost sounded like things he would say to himself.

At some point, it could seem like he was projecting himself onto Orokapi—who, by being such a dear friend to him, who learned to be an ethical human from him—was like an extension of himself.

“Don’t run away, dumbass.” “Doesn’t it suck being scolded right now?” “Who would want to be friends with someone like that?”

—all of these could apply to Orokapi, but they can also be applied to Tokinaga himself. For example, Allula called him out on one specific accusation Tokinaga leveled at Orokapi: running away.

Chapter 55

-------

Quite the Literal Hate Boner

We later know one(there are plenty) of the biggest reasons Tokinaga hates himself: he gets aroused and hard from nothing but violence and hate. The more vile and violent, the harder his hormones run. And all this happens contrary to what his higher-ordered thinking believes and thinks.

Chapter 54

Side note: remember how Tokinaga shouted at Orokapi with “Doesn’t it suck being scolded right now?”  Yet, here, he was admitting to his body getting hard from being insulted. The one that felt pained when being scolded was his mind. The part of Tokinaga he believes is him, “the ethical, pure one.” The one he’s constantly reinforcing and tormenting, over and over, as his fitful penance.

Now, contrary to what Tokinaga believed, this isn’t as black-and-white as his thought process made it out to be. You can also just accept that this is who you are, and mitigate what you don’t like reasonably. You’re living in a crappy nigh-post-apocalyptic society with a bunch of amoral people who regularly skirt the edge of ethics, goddamn it. You’re hardly the only one with questionable morality.

In fact, it’s fine. You never act out on these desires. You don’t harbor the thought of wanting to kickstart a violent rampage to pleasure yourself. Tokinaga’s (literal) hate boner can even be safely relegated to the realm of kinks. There are plenty of doms who will happily take him as their cute puppy-dog sub.

But Tokinaga cannot accept it. He is determined to maintain his sense of purity. Even in the face of his sexual desire. Or the decisions he had made using his time-loop powers to ensure his “perfect death.”

He wants to believe he is “clean.” And that he can keep himself that way.

If you were a certain kind of person with a similar thought process as Tokinaga, you might go to punishing lengths to hold onto this quixotic sense of purity, while simultaneously tormented by the anxiety of it slipping away from you.

You might, perhaps, cling to every ritual of purification you can to scrub yourself clean of this constant onslaught of contamination. Apology is one of them. Eviscerating yourself and other forms of mental flagellation is another.

He even mentioned the latter. He described how much his heart ached and trembled at the sight of brutality while his body went ahead and got excited. And then, hinting at punishment, he admitted to torturing his mind with intense mental castigation every night.

Chapter 54

This matches the experience of my aforementioned friend and acquaintance—who, last I checked, are not godkillers who can turn back time (aww man).

Nonetheless, they suffer from a specific mental disorder that I find to be an interesting comparison to Tokinaga’s psychology.

---

Tokinaga Sachiyuki:  An Allegory of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

Chapter 50

Hey! If you’re like my acquaintance, who freezes up at OCD mentions sometimes, take care when reading this part!

Now, I’m not too terribly interested in headcanons. The mangaka has made no such proclamation, either, and so my personal principles come into play. I won’t claim he definitely has OCD.

What I would like to put forward, though, is that Tokinaga’s psychology mirrors much of a person suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder. What he has isn’t an exact match to the real-world experience because, again, he’s a fictional character who can loop time and might be a dragon (oops, did I just drop a teaser for my next essay? Hmmmmmm).

---

“This isn’t what I want! This isn’t who I am!”

What separates OCD and Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder is that thoughts and compulsions in the former are egodystonic, while the latter is egosyntonic [1][2].

Egosyntonic: thoughts, behaviors, and feelings that are perceived by the self to be in harmony with their self-image, as well as their goals and needs. “There is nothing maladjusted with my behavior; this is  who I ‘really’ am.”

Egodystonic: thoughts, behaviors, desires, compulsions etc. that go against one’s perception of their self-image, “who they are,” and are dissonant to the needs and the goals of the ego. “There is something seriously fucked-up with my thoughts/behaviors.”

Chapter 55

Tokinaga exhibits egodystonic agony in droves. His sexual desire insults the self-image he holds about himself—the “Tokinaga” who’s disgusted by carnage, unforgivingly repulsed by brutality, as well as terrified of the frequency of such violence occurring in life. He hated all of it with his soul, and yet his penis is getting so fucking hard by seeing it.

---

Intrusive Thoughts and The Behaviors/Rituals To Fight Them

His sexual desire, as well as any thoughts of him being possibly unethical or immoral, are his version of intrusive thoughts. They aren’t just “negative thoughts” he can swat away without them corroding his sense of self. They are his obsessions[3][4]. He had managed to keep them at bay for the first bulk of the story—unless, of course, you notice his compulsive adherence to ethics and his overall behavior from Chapter 30 onward. The façade cracked as the story progressed to Orokapi’s betrayal; it dealt a blow to his mental stability. In Chapter 55, Allula even wonders if Tokinaga is suffering from a mental decline.

All of these distressing obsessions compelled Tokinaga to follow a very stringent set of ethics—which he mostly applies only to himself. To me, his rigid ritual of an apology is as good an allegorical insight as any. His nightly mental castigation, where he fervently visualizes himself dying with all the sins of the world on his shoulder, is an even wider window to such a psyche.

What sets him as a great allegory of OCD while distinguishing himself from OCPD is that he’s not doing this because he believes he’s a good, sinless person.

He’s doing it because he believes he’s the worst.

So shitty, in fact, that he thinks being killed by Allula—whose abuses would put him through the most excruciating, pleasureless pain while his body experiences blissful, painless pleasure—is the only fitting end he deserves and therefore works toward that goal. Before he gets there, though, he’d have to endure his many intrusive obsessions... and hopefully, along the way, eradicate the embodiments of violence the masses had called “gods.”

-----

Conclusion

Chapter 20. This expression tells you a lot about what Orokapi genuinely sees in his friend. One of my favorite faces yet.

Again, lemme reiterate: there is no canonical word on Tokinaga being a sufferer of OCD. I mean, if he were to perform compulsive behaviors, such as skin-peeling or hair-pulling, it might become more canonically implicative.

What I’m going off from here is his actions and psyche so far, as well as the empirical recognition—by my friend and acquaintance—of his experience. To me, OCD has become a fascinating and fitting framework for understanding some of the complexities of this character.

It speaks to the strength of After God’s character writing when Tokinaga turns out to be a great allegorical presentation for OCD in media.

Side note: I’m personally a big fan of writing about atypical experiences in an organic, humanizing way however possible, because it helps readers understand the experience without too much focus on “therapy speaks” and the rules in the DSM-V. Yes, I say this as someone who studies cognitive science, is familiar with that manual, and advocates more rigor and replicability in the fields of psychology.

In case the length of this essay did not show it clearly enough: I adore Tokinaga. As of now, I sincerely believe him when he says he’s genuinely a good person... because, as I witnessed from my friend, it takes a certain kind of good person to be able to get this tormented in the first place. More importantly, Tokinaga may have clung to a stringent sense of morality out of compulsion, but it still makes him a good person in action.

If you feel similarly to him—OCD or not—remember that one’s mind could often distort one’s vice into virtue, and virtue into vice.

Maybe you’re moral because you’re compelled to do so to battle your intrusive thoughts, and so it feels less “authentic" than being "genuinely moral."

But I disagree. As is the spirit of Buddhist Philosophy (which I personally adhere to; also lowkey study), I think you’re already pragmatically good, and through those actions, you already position yourself in an advantageous spot for moral progress. And that will always be a cause for optimism.

Thank you for reading my ramble—despite the length! I hope you've enjoyed it.

----

Citations:

“Egosyntonic and egodystonic” In Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egosyntonic_and_egodystonic

“Obsessive–compulsive personality disorder. In Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive%E2%80%93compulsive_personality_disorder

“Obsessive-compulsive disorder” In Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive%E2%80%93compulsive_disorder

“Intrusive thought.” In Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intrusive_thought

[ckret2]

I honestly think that Ford is the only character in Gravity Falls that don't have moments of cruelty and unkindness... He's my favorite character because he's the one who is most near to perfection, in contrast to Stanley, who is the character most near to imperfection.

I think you can make some cases for a couple of moments—like, you could easily make a case for "standing by doing nothing while Stan was kicked out" being pretty damn cruel—but you could also just as easily make a counter argument that it wasn't really because it was Filbrick doing the kicking out and it's possible Ford was too scared to speak up and maybe he thought Stan would be fine since he'd already made globe-traveling plans and maybe at that moment he really believed that if Stan stayed at home he'd keep trying to sabotage Ford's future etc etc—like, everything he does that's Not Nice, how Not Nice it is depends on which literary analysis lens you choose to peer at the event through.

Part of this could well be due to the fact that he only got five and a half episodes; but I think the truest thing you can say about his character is that we don't see him act out of spite the way other characters do. Like, if Gideon had stolen Ford's perfect pool chair, he absolutely would have shown up at the pool in the middle of the night to claim the chair for the next morning, but he wouldn't have tried to blind Gideon with his wristwatch. If his nemesis had challenged him to mini-golf, I doubt he'd have conspired with the Liliputtians to cheat. If he was stuck in the house with an annoying pig he'd PROMISED not to put outside, he'd be more likely to storm outside in a huff and leave the pig in the house than he would be to break his promise and put the pig outside.

When Stan or Dipper want to be king of the hill, they're quick to turn to dragging their competition down; but when Ford wants to be king of the hill he tries to climb twice as fast as his competition. I feel like playing dirty to drag his competition down wouldn't even occur to Ford unless it's an "if I lose, somebody dies" situation. Winning by cheating would make him feel like he hasn't really won.

[autumnnnsun]

Now that I’ve finished reading Hortus de Escapismo and Executor’s record, I really gotta ramble about Executor for a second and kinda talk abt how Arknights handles his lack of empathy trait that I really enjoy. This isn’t a proper analysis or anything just my thoughts I wanna vomit for a sec.

So it’s implied in Executor’s record that he just, wasn’t born having empathy despite being a sankta. Or at least he just naturally doesn’t have the same levels of understanding of emotion as other sankta. The part that I really like about it is how Executor’s Record and story in general doesn’t portray that as a necessarily bad thing.

His lack of empathy allows him to think in a way that is a lot more unique than other sankta. When his partner in his record story told him to sacrifice him, he still brought his body back to Laterano. One of the reason being because of a specific sentence in the will they were enacting (“I hope all Laterans return back to their home.” Smth that most people would assume is just smth the will writer wrote for some extra literary flare) but also because he disregarded his partner’s feelings. His lack of empathy is the reason why he did something good and that is very interesting to me especially when most people tend to demonise having low/no empathy.

I also just really like how in his record story, it’s emphasised that he knows what emotions ARE. He has developed a system with his parents to recognise and visualise emotions by drawing lines that represent them. He knows what it is, he can recognise it to a level where he can think of the next best course of action when confronted with it, he just doesn’t put much importance on it nor does he bother with understanding it for the most part. Especially if it’s something that will get in the way of his job. And I REALLY like that cus it reminds me of how people irl that have low empathy will develop systems to work around it and still be kind.

I know a lot of us joke about Executor being autistic and that’s funny and I like the jokes as much as everyone else, but low or no empathy is a trait of other mental disorders and disabilities and even as someone that hasn’t been diagnosed with anything yet it still feels kinda nice to see low empathy being portrayed in a way that isn’t villanious.

In fact, Executor having low empathy kinda makes him the best person in the room sometimes especially in Hortus de Escapismo. The part where he does a warning shot at Oren and Lemuen and essentially goes “Can ya’ll STOP I’m trying to do my JOB.” And essentially manages to stop a massacre because of it is so funny but also so fucking hype bruv. I like how in the end of the event when Executor was starting to ask more questions and have more doubts and was starting to let emotions affect his actions a bit more, it isn’t framed as like “Oh mah gerd, he’s learning empathy and being more hooman!”

Instead he’s asking questions and seeking to find solutions to them in his own unique way. Asking around and adding more variables to his thought process like a computer would (which has some implications that gets my lore brain churning but hrghrghrgh)

Top it all of with the fact that he is specifically a character that is born and raised in a society that values empathy. Being able to feel other people’s emotions is what makes you a sankta. And Executor, is one of the better sanktas because he doesn’t follow that rule.

God I love Executor, go son, thrive.

[adarkrainbow]

Hello! I've always been fascinated with fairy and folk tales, but I've mostly only read online analyses (and The Book of Lost Things with the commentary at the end). Do you have any beginner book recommendations on fairy tale analysis? I can read in French or in English.

Hello! Well given when it came to truly studying fairytales I did it in the context of French literary fairytales, I will give you some stuff about French literary fairytales... and in French Xp For the rest I don't have any specific reference per se...

But already I can tell you, you can find a lot of academic works online for free - which is truly a life-saver! Maybe you already know of those but I will profit of this ask to talk about it again - there's the Féeries academical review, which is an official publication for thorough and scholarly articles about various literary fairytales of France, from the 17th to the 20th century. And it is fully ENTIRELY online on OpenEditions. Each issue has its own theme, from the Oriental Fairytale , to the humor in fairytales, passing by the intertextual references of the Grimm fairytales and fairytales in cinema.

However Féeries does not explore "folk fairytales" and doesn't have a folkloric approach to fairytales, only a literary one... In general when you go around the Internet, a lot of articles about fairytales are on Persée or on Fabula.org. Like a LOT a lot. Just Google any fairytale within these websites and you have a shit ton of things.

All of that being said, when it comes to books per se... I always recommend starting with a good version of the text with good annotations and nice commentary. When it comes to French literary fairytales, the best ones are the Honoré Champion editions of Charles Perrault's Contes (commented by Tony Gheeraert, who has an entire blog about his analysis of French literary fairytales) and of madame d'Aulnoy's own Contes (commented by Nadine Jasmin). Now, recently an absolute ultimate edition of ALL the French literary fairytales of the "Golden Age" with extended academic commentary was released by Honoré Champion "La Bibliothèque des Génies et des Fées", but it costs a FREAKIN HELL LOT OF MONEY... So the "standard" Honoré Champion editions are quite fine.

Nadine Jasmin also wrote THE big complete academic analysis book about madame d'Aulnoy's fairytales (she is considered the current expert on the domain) - "Naissance du conte féminin. Mots et merveilles: les contes de fées de Mme d'Aulnoy" (again, Honoré Champion.

There's more books I can advise you to check out but I am running a tad bit of time now so I'll add this in a reblog

[leejeann]

Pls tell me/us about your Cinderella Boy AU úwù

Oh hi Anon, I am SO GLAD YOU ASKED :D. I was literally working on it when I got this ask, very nice timing, friend

(i will, uh, try not to make this an excessive amount of paragraphs but bare with me, I'm a yapper).

So, tl;dr Cinderella Boy College AU babyyyy. Chase is a first year music theater major (he started a year late), and Buddy is a second year creative writing major.

(I don't actually remember if they're canonically the same age, but they are in this)

(also Deacon is here too, he's just over in med school but him and Chase hang out on weekends)

They meet through an Intro to Literature class that Buddy takes for his major and Chase regrets choosing as an elective credit. Eventually Chase has to accept that he Sucks So Bad at literary analysis and really doesn't want to fail a course in his first semester of college, so he reluctantly asks mr writing major to help him. Buddy agrees, with the trade off being that he's writing an anthology of short stories for a future capstone project and Chase has to read them and give feedback.

(Buddy says it's because he's aiming for a younger audience with some of the stories and if an idiot like Chase can understand them so can a kid. Secretly he just....doesn't have anyone else to ask and kind of just really wants someone else to read them so he saw the opportunity and took it. But you didn't hear that from me!).

They agree to those terms and off we go! Shenanigans and angst and rivals-to-lovers nonsense (my beloved) ensues!

Aaaand because i have little self control when I'm excited about an idea but no one irl who knows what the hell a cinderella boy is to talk about it with: a much longer explanation of the exposition is below the cut!

OKAY SO BASICALLY I had this funny idea the other day of a college AU where like the Intro to Lit class is an in-person/online hybrid, i.e., all the lectures and materials are posted online so people can enrolled in it as either an online or in-person class. Chase takes it in-person while Buddy couldn't fit the timeslot into his schedule and takes it online.

And like any basic college course, it has *drumroll* Online Discussion Posts! Objectively one of the most tedious assignments in any college class, and this class does 2-3 a week. This professor decided to try a Fun New thing this year, where all the posts and replies are anonymous to the students (he can still see them so he knows who did the assignment, obvs). Something, something, he wants to promote discussions between classmates instead of people just only ever replying to their friends or something. Chase wants to keep up his Branding™ and sign off his posts with his little tagline, but after the first post his professor says that "defeats the whole purpose" and "looks unprofessional." Chase signs off with a little star instead, which the professor reluctantly lets him do. (A few other students actually start doing it to with their own little symbols or emojis.)

Two weeks into classes and Chase is being DRIVEN INSANE by these discussion posts. No, no, not by the monotony of them. No, not by his lack of skill with literary analysis. Rather, there's one student in particular who just keeps replying to his discussion posts specifically and ALWAYS seems to have something to disagree with. And they're so pretentious about it. Chase knows it's always the same person because no one else in this mostly-just-an-elective-credit class is using words like "insufferable" and "colloquialism" and "alas" in a discussion post.

Something something, Chase does some sleuthing and figures out it must be one of the online students, which is annoying because he has no way to figure out who they are so he can tell them to lay off and chill the hell out. Until! Midterms roll around and some random new guy is just in the class for the test. Oh, it's just an online student who didn't want to deal with one of those stupid virtual proctor websites, and since he lives on campus anyway he asked if he could just take it in-person. Yeah, that's fair. But then the new guy says something (idk what yet) and the phrasing of it makes it click in Chase's head that Oh my god that HAS to be Buddy holy shit

(sidenote, in this story the name "Buddy" comes from Chase ranting to Deacon about the random anon student and sarcastically calling them Buddy as a joke. But then that nickname just sticks because when you're pissed off and ranting "Buddy" is so much faster to say that "that anonymous asshole from my intro to lit class" ya know? So like, save for Chase saying it in an angry reply to the anon student once or twice, he hasn't directly called Buddy, Buddy before until like he confronts him after midterms).

I haven't quite figured out the interim of how they go from "Oh my god that's the annoying anonymous dude" and Buddy not even realizing Chase is the Star-kid (.....ha) in those discussion posts–

((sidenote 2, electric boogaloo, the reason Buddy is so snarky on the discussion posts is because, naturally, he thinks literature is Very Important and that it's annoying how obvious it is that most of this class is just taking it as an elective so they aren't putting in any real effort to learning anything. The discussion posts are all literary analysis on short passages and his classmates do, like, the bare minimum for it. He doesn't just respond to Chase's posts in a snarky tone, but most of the students fully ignore his responses and do not improve and he decides they're a lost cause. Chase is also a lost cause, but sometimes Chase argues back and okay fine Buddy has to admit that's kind of entertaining. So Buddy always makes sure to respond to the one with the stupid little star at the bottom. As a treat))

–and to them being like, civil enough that Chase finally caves and asks Buddy to tutor him, but eventually they get there. And that's how we get to the rest of that tl;dr! Chase asks for help in class, Buddy agrees as long as Chase helps him with his creative writing projects, they start meeting up to work on classwork regularly and once a week or so Buddy brings a print-out of another short story for Chase to take with him after. And Chase does his best to return it with some amount of helpful annotations.

(I totally forgot until after I came up with that idea, but I actually kind of did that once in college. Except I wasn't a creative writing major, one of my good friends was. I was entering a short story in a competition once so I gave him a printed copy of it and he gave it back a few days later covered in annotations lol)

And I DO plan to include Buddy's short stories as their own things! I have a few ideas for them already, basically I'm going to write a few original short stories that I can insert as their own little in-between chapters whenever Buddy gives Chase a new one to read. They'd probably be posted at the same time as either the chapter before or chapter after it, depending on which chapter would make more sense to pair it with narratively.

I think the first will be some parody of Cinderella, because duh. But like less of a "Cinderella, but in a new setting" thing and more like from the pov of a totally different character, where the actual Cinderella plot is lowkey almost just in the background. Idk it seems fun and like something Creative-Writing-Major-Buddy would write. Or maybe I'm projecting because I just think it sounds fun to write. Or maybe both!

One specifically that's a minorly pivotal moment for them is actually just a short-story-ified version of a poem I wrote years ago, and the moment in the story is basically just Buddy felt it was an optimistic story, whereas Chase felt like it was really sad, and both are incredibly thrown off by the dissonance that realization creates.

Which is also kind of from personal experience actually! Small tangent, but that happened with the poem back when I first wrote it too. To me, it was a melancholy but overall optimistic poem about life. I shared it with some people and seemingly all of them thought it felt sad and almost hopeless. I was SO thrown off! Because I really felt like it was hopeful, not hopeless, but it felt like I was the only person who saw it like that. As silly as it sounds, that (plus a couple other personal reasons) made me struggle with writing anything for a long time because I was a little afraid of feeling so isolated by my own work again.

(In hindsight, I can see how it came across like that to them. It still remains one of my favorites that I've written though. I actually completely rewrote it to enter in a contest just a few months ago! The newer version is much better, and I think actually gets across the intended mood a lot more)

*ahem* So, uh, anyway! I amp all that up a bit in the story for the sake of ~drama~ of course, but that's where the general idea for that scene comes from. I've already written the scene actually! I just don't know how far into the story it'll happen yet.

I'm also still on the fence about how to include the keyple we know about in canon. I can't decide if I want to just make them like other students and/or friends who appear in the story, or if I just want to like really allude to them. Leave references in the stories Buddy writes or classwork they do or stuff like that, etc.

And I'm also-also on the fence about if I should give Buddy a fake name for sake of the plot. If I do, I'm definitely going to swap it for his real name once that's properly revealed. On one hand, being in a college setting it would make a lot more sense for Chase to find out his actual name early on, even if he still calls him Buddy to be annoying. But on the other hand, Buddy totally would refuse to tell Chase his name, also to be annoying, if doing that annoys Chase more than the nickname annoys him. But on a secret, third hand, it feels so weird to give Buddy a fake name lol. Like even if I wasn't a fast-passer I think it'd still feel weird.

Then again, depending on how slow I end up writing this, the free episodes might catch up to fast pass before I even need to worry about that and I can just use his actual name from the get-go.

Phew! That sure was fun to talk about! *scrolls back through this post* oh yikes, uh, well you asked for it anon! If you actually read this far down, thank you, bless, I warned you that I yap but I appreciate your fortitude very much lol

I have no idea when I'll start posting the fic bc I worry about like getting through a couple chapters, posting them immediately, then losing steam and just....dropping it or taking forever to update after. So I want to get at least a few chapters written before I start posting any, ya know? But I've been wanting to get back into creative writing for a LONG time so I'm really going to try to stick with it! Just, bare with me if it takes a while lol

[sp1resong]

Mordred's Deltarune Red-String Board, Part II

Or, "Here's how inferno theory* can still win!" Or, Or, desperately screaming "I'm not owned! I'm not owned!" as my flimsy raft sinks beneath the waves (...but the point was never to not be owned, really).

*"Inferno Theory", while catchy, isn't fully an accurate title - it's not a theory, per se, just me dissecting the thing i like through the lens of another thing i like, which happens to be a literary classic. For fun. Recreationally.

Note: this is a follow-up to this post, which was written before chapters 3 and 4. Preferably read that first.

Note II: This post contains major spoilers for Deltarune chapters 3 and 4.

First and foremost, I'd like to expand on the idea I initially brought up, of the secret bosses representing the circles of hell in reverse order (so Jevil is Treachery, Spamton is Fraud, et cetera. I'm sure I don't need to explain how those two fit). By that logic, the chapter 3 and 4 secret bosses would represent Violence and Heresy, respectively, which I do think can work!

Chapter 3's "secret boss" is the Roaring Knight itself. There is already a surface-level connection to Violence, as the Knight is, well, a knight - necessarily a Violent occupation - and also comes off as extremely Violent and ruthless in its personal demeanor; with the point of many of its encounters being that it one- or two-shots you without saying a word. I think it also somewhat fits in to the Violence against God part of Violence against God, Art, and Nature; Violence against God being defined by Dante as blasphemy. The Roaring Knight being the Roaring Knight, it seeks to bring about the Roaring, or the apocalypse - it is part of the prophecy, yes, but it is specifically the villain of the prophecy (and thus, much of the religion), at least as we've seen it so far.

Now, I thought Chapter 4's secret boss would be easier to fit into this whole schema - Chapter 4 takes place in a church, so the secret boss representing Heresy would fit right in, right? Or so I expected.

However, Chapter 4's secret boss is Gerson Boom - a nice old man seeking to mentor Susie, and the father of Alvin the pastor. Not what one would expect from a representation of Heresy! But I do think I can make this work. Gerson firmly believes in the prophecy being malleable - that the final chapters are not yet written, that fate can change. From what we have seen, the religion is very deterministic, and I am certain some would call him a heretic for that. Also, the specific Heresy specified by Dante as sending you to this circle is not believing in an afterlife - believing that there is nothing after death. As essentially an urn of ashes resurrected by the power of the Dark, Gerson is somewhat an inversion of this idea.

So, that's it, right? We've gone over the bosses, there's not much more to talk about. A "brief" (not brief at all, actually, but brief enough that not much information is added - as brief as I can make it, despite my tendency towards the overly verbose) addendum to a complete analysis.

Right?

No, actually. There is one more thing I would like to talk about.

Within the Church world, there are two specific parts of the prophecy I think are worth mentioning.

When describing the actions of the heroes, the prophecy states the following:

THEY'LL HEAR THE RING OF HEAVEN'S CALL. THEY'LL SEE THE TAIL OF HELL TAKE CRAWL.

The following sprites are used for the two lines, respectively.

The usage of the ring for Heaven is - pardon my reference - very, very interesting, in more ways than one. The line itself is a clear double meaning - Heaven's call "rings out", but with the sprite, it's clear that there is also a Ring of Heaven involved, as in the object, or at least the shape. Rings, of course, are very closely associated with Noelle, who has a lot of angelic imagery (and so too is the Tail of Hell with Susie - Susie, who has a romantic plotline with Noelle, and contrasts her in many ways, has a tail which she is repeatedly shown to be embarrassed about having). However, that is not the point of the post.

However, just as interesting, if not more, and perhaps more relevant to the point of this post is the Tail of Hell, or specifically the sprite used for it. If asked to envision the "Tail of Hell", I doubt I would come up with this string-of-spheres design. There is also an alternate version in the files which has an arrow-shaped design on the end, like a stereotypical devil's tail, so it is clear that this specific design was chosen for a reason.

(Tangentially, the number of spheres - 11 - remains the same between designs despite the composition change, which could mean it is relevant, or could mean nothing at all. I will leave you all to do with this information what you will - this post has a topic, and this is not particularly relevant to it.)

Finally getting to my point, within the Divine Comedy, Hell is made up of nine concentric rings and Heaven is made up of seven celestial spheres. The imagery here is an interesting inversion of this - tying pretty neatly into Deltarune's overall themes and the way it depicts religion. Much of Deltarune has a lot of contrasting and parallel imagery, and its religion - while clearly inspired by Christianity, and with many similarities - is also different in a lot of ways that matter, with the morality of Heaven seemingly being one of them. After all, the Angel's Heaven is to be banished by the three heroes in order to save the world.

[accio-victuuri]

CHILDREN’S DAY CANDIES. 🍭🍬

let’s call this part one of today’s cpns cause i’m waiting for xzs side to share stuff and knowing that LOZ just wrapped, we might get something on that too. but i can’t wait to scream about these! good turtles really got the sweets for today!

let the two cute babies invite you in… ⬇️⬇️⬇️

to those who have no idea what this holiday is about, then this might help you.

starting off the day with yibo’s audi ad. he really remains unbothered despite all the chaos, it’s business as usual on his side. and that is the reality of his life: it goes on. no matter what happens or who try to bring him down. he will continue to shine ✨ the story for the ad was so interesting, it was so nice to see him “cooking” and it’s giving me flashbacks to his other efforts. this is more of me as a cpf thinking about how yibo could also be making an effort on his own to cook, even if it’s not elaborate dishes. the fandom loves to paint xz as the “wife” who does the cooking but maybe yibo does too? and that grocery scene? AAHHHHHHH! domestic yizhan is my weakness. so while they walk into a store all dressed up like that, the thought makes me somft. considering there is a possibility too that they will be in the same city soon 🙏🏼

then xzs reposted menghai’s anniversary post which some are saying is unusual for them but who knows. WHAT GETS ME THO IS THE CAPTION. the fuck.

WHO FAMOUSLY SAID THIS? to the point that it became a tagline for the fandom. Yibo. Yibo during all the drama that happened during Hidden Blade’s showing:

WYB: like what the director & that audience said, a movie can create a lot of thoughts but u still need to continue with ur life. for Wuming, i hope we can exchange sincerity with sincerity. we made this movie with our heart, so we sincerely hope that people will like the movie.

I’m not sure if this is some usual line or saying in 🇨🇳 with some literary relevance but the fact that it is associated with WYB gets me! XZS is known to do really good captions but using this? after all that happened with magnolia noms? i think it is not a coincidence. this feels like an indirect message. i am positive that they really intend to wish menghai a happy anniversary but the hidden meaning is not lost on me.

not only that…. they seem to match yibo-official’s caption too.

The wind blowing in the wilderness // The wind galloping in the wilderness 🍃

the wind. in the mainland, WOF title is called Wind Chaser. i can understand it from YBO’s perspective and why that was included. but XZS? another coincidence????

and the caption for YBO had a paper plane which is a symbol that we associate with them 🫶🏼 ( i have a post for this but i cannot find it lol. if someone here does, please comment. )

and as for the drawing, it’s very common for cpf to think that xz made it. not saying that ybo has no team of his own that can do it for him, but more of this is xz’s love language. making art for the person he adores. the fact that the t-shirt chibi yibo was wearing is inspired by that video of him dancing in 2011 was a nice touch.

the cartoon was supposed to be based on the photo which was from the olympics performance rehearsal — but to make it fit the Children’s Day theme, that was added. it is made by someone who loves him!

not to mention some other details that stood out to us. i bet you can analyze each in every composition of it and make a cpf analysis but these are the interesting bits:

but i’m more partial to that pig nose on the shoes! hahahahaha! when fans tease yibo, he becomes a pig instead of a lion/panther and this cheeky addition i feel like can only be added by someone close to him. a person who can get away with it 😂😂😂

the photo used had him with the green/pink shoes! plus the video shared, THAT HAT! ( i linked part 3 of my cpn post in but parts 1&2 are there for those who are not familiar or want a refresher) ! he is showing off again! can’t blame him tho.

sources: one / two / three / four

-END.

[crumblinggothicarchitecture]

I loved your analysis of the Romeo and Juliet reference in Taylors song it was such a perfect example of why people praise her songwriting so much without realising how hollow it is. I also especially loved how when someone commented that they didn’t have a large enough vocab to understand your post, you actually responded really nicely and offered to explain! It’s such a bare minimum thing but so rare to see on the Internet where people often just ignore such comments or become pretentious. Anyway, definitely earned a follow because your posts seem really cool and I hope you do more song analysis posts, whether they’re praising or critiquing music.

Hello! Apologies for taking so long to get back to you! I’ve been in middle of moving (and it’s taking up much of my time ahaha). I’m glad to hear that you enjoyed my Romeo and Juliet post. I love that play- mostly because of its sly, subversive nature and social reform thematic purpose. I remember reading it in High School and how that was one of the first times I was consciously aware of the power literature holds to shift culture and move public consciousness towards progressive ideologies. Remarkable. For that reason, Swift’s repeated misunderstanding, and blatant, purposeful ignorance surrounding the plays, has always frustrated me.  

I will be returning to the topic to write about the infamous “Love Story” (2009), and I’m also going to debunk a couple of her other literary references like The Scarlett Letter one. Also, I will be posting something about her bastardization of Daphne du Maurier’s “Rebecca” (1938) because she over-simplified the thematic point of the book and made it seem silly, and frivolous, instead of the hard-hitting social reform literature that it is. Much of my frustration with Swift stems from her use of literary genius, and the way she twists these stories into empty- ego-driven narratives that singularly focus on break-ups or centering her aspirations towards praising hetero-patriarchal standards in her music.  

I’m fucking over it- Y'all.  

She has this way of taking literary references, some of the most famous and important works in history, and remaking it into something dull, derivative and nonsensical. She incinerates the plotlines and erases the methodology of the literary work through demeaning the intrinsic social reform efforts of the works themselves. For instance, with my post on her work and the reference to “Romeo and Juliet” I mention how Swift purposely leaves out, or negates, Shakespeare intentional social reform phenomenological base to the line “O be some other name/ What’s in a name?” Shakespeare himself is clearly drawing attention to the ways in which people often judge not by the content of our characters but by shallow intonation of our names and station in society. He is using these lines, and the two characters, to show how hypocritical and judgmental it is to uphold petty difference over the ideal of believing in the prospects of human connection. Shakespeare was a radical in his day- he pulled no punches to criticizing the aristocracy or the values of post-feudal hierarchal institutions.  

Swift took such an intentional aspect of his work, his social reform efforts, and purposely divorced it from the line. Thus, remaking, rewording, it into her line, which was a silly, and self-centered, petulant line about how people really should have been nicer to her because she’s a good girl. It’s so fucking stupid- imagine trying to remake Shakespeare without understanding Shakespeare. I cannot abide- now that I’m grown, and no longer a child, who could mindlessly listen to her bastardization of important literary work- I simply must speak up. It’s important because, I think, that her purposeful misuse of the work- making it devoid of social reform- says a lot about her intentions as a person. She’s not the activist people think she is- she's just another pseudo-intellectual grifter.  

Anyway, I’m glad you found something worthwhile in that post- and I hope you’ve enjoyed some of my other posts since then. I admit that I sometimes venture into posting mere opinion- but for my more serious posts I will stick to interrogation of her work through literary invocation. It’s just what I know best.  

If anyone has any questions about my posts- or confusions about my vocabulary use- I am happy to chat and answer questions! I really meant it when I told that person that I would be happy to re-explain using some different words. Sometimes- I get carried away and slip into “academic jargon” but that’s not what I want my blog to devolve into. I want to share information with people who perhaps have not studied literature- or English. I wouldn’t judge anyone just for having a question or being confused about a certain word. I, myself, make a habit of studying other languages- besides English- and that does wonders for keeping me humble about my own knowledge of English. Haha. :) I do not express myself nearly so well in French or German- so it becomes much easier for me to empathize with those who have a hard time expressing themselves with language too. Language is hard- learning is even more difficult. But what a wonderful, rewarding venture it is to ask a question and learn something new!  

I encourage people’s curiosity- truly.  

And yes- I will certainly be posting about other artists as well. Haha, now that I feel comfortable doing so- I will have some fun with it :)  

Thank you for writing in- I am sending you well-wishes and good vibes.  

[sleepysloth99]

Your Favorite Martian Headcanons, pt 2 of ?

This time, I'm doing it with Gen 2.

Puff Puff

He's going into therapy now. Gen 1.5 him was an asshole and now he's trying to improve.

He's in a huge situationship with Tig, trying to be better for her, but he kinda doesn't know how.

Despite his job as a waiter, it is better pay than his previous job.

Puff Puff lives with his grandma after she left the nursing home back in 1.5, but he lives there half-time. He leaves when he's either on tour with the guys or if he vanishes since he tends to do that sometimes. He always comes back, though. Surprisingly, he is very protective of his Meemaw.

He's made amends with people he's messed things up with. Him and Deejayne aren't friends but are on civil terms now.

He eventually got back in touch with Wilton (Nerdy dude from gen 1.5) and they talk a lot.

Deejay

Him and Deejayne are still very close! They facetime very often, and Deejayne invites him over during the holidays.

He uses online therapy since it's more in his budget, and he definitely finds YFM to be a therapeutic outlet.

His change of voice was because he got vocal lessons from Puff Puff and Benatar.

He got back in touch with estranged family.

Over the years since gen 1.5, Deejay is no longer the "voice of reason" since the guys all matured more and now the role of being the voice of reason is a little more evenly distributed among the 4 members.

He's still in charge of paying Netflix, though.

Axel

He decided to get buff since constant and structured movements helped him focus on his songs and calmed him down.

He's got folks somewhere, he doesn't know where. But he does know that his number one family is in an RV.

Both him and Puff Puff stopped being too mean to Benatar after he openly expressed a dislike for it.

Over the years, the guys have gotten closer as the four of them matured and understood the need to be more deeply connected in order to be a stronger band. As a result, Axel is more open to talking about how he feels now and encourages his bandmates to do the same.

He's still crummy with emotions, but he tries. He mostly uses the drums to convey his feelings.

He's getting treatment for his herpes back in gen 1.5. He's a lot more responsible with sex now.

Benatar

He actually became more assertive over the years. He's still polite, but he doesn't let anyone disrespect him anymore.

He teaches Axel English work and literary analysis since Axel was unable to finish high school.

He was initially picked on because he was the odd one out in terms of lifestyle. The other three were poor and had physically abusive parental figures in their lives. Benatar had a nice house and was well off, but his mother was emotionally, verbally, and mentally abusive, and his father was around but he wasn't emotionally available for Benatar and would frequently parentify him. This explains his passive and quiet demeanor in the past generations of Your Favorite Martian.

He plays GTA 5 and stops at the redlights, acts nice to everyone, but gets headshots every mission, gold every mission, and he stalks pedestrians at night. Don't worry, he stalks all genders of NPCs at night. He's also terrifyingly good at escaping the cops.

He had Puff Puff sing "Real Girl" for him because he's still too shy to sing a whole song by himself. He hasn't done that since "Jupiter."

In the world where Your Favorite Martian takes place, humans in the human world are presented as works of fiction. In our world, Your Favorite Martian is a cartoon band. In the world of Your Favorite, however, humans are works of fiction. We come in the form of movies, books, and other sources of media. Each person in the world is a work of fiction of some sort. With all that said, Benatar wrote "Real Girl" because of his "fictional" crush on a girl from a movie he watched. The movie was about the girl as the protagonist and her life as a young woman navigating the world of womanhood. Benatar made this song because he knew that the screen was a barrier separating two worlds, hence why he called her a "Real Girl" even though in his world, she is a fictional character.

[besttropeveershowdown]

The SECOND Best Trope Ever Showdown: Round 2, Side C, Poll 3

Show Within A Show

A fictional work has another fictional work within it.

Propaganda:

HEAR ME OUT PEOPLE: "Show Within a Show" is usually the moment where I go batshit insane. Life imitates art, and art imitates life, and the show within a show is USUALLY where the author sticks in a very nice metaphor or symbol or another instance of a motif that from a literary analysis perspective is Awesome. Plot-wise, it can also be very fun. Think of anime protagonists putting on a play for their school festival! That counts! Think of Hamlet putting on "The Murder of Gonzago" to trigger his Uncle into basically confessing his guilt! Think of literally the entirety of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead! Show Within a Show is where you get to do some serious digging, some serious analysis, or you just get to watch performers performing performance. It also adds depth and new dimensions to characters that can just seem...tired. The "Itchy and Scratchy Show" and everything about Krusty the Klown from the Simpsons fits into this category. Krusty is a fucking MESS but you need the show within a show to explain why; otherwise, he's just a boring sad clown. Sometimes it's integral to the plot; sometimes it's just fun. It's a jack-of-all-trades kind of trope. Other examples of a Show Within a Show: The Goes Wrong Show, with its entire premise being that it is a show within a show. Pyramus and Thisbe from Midsummer Night's Dream. Singing in the Rain. Cabaret. Galaxy Quest. I Saw The TV Glow. I could name more examples, but I think I've proved my point.

Dark Is Not Evil

Dark colors, styles, themes, and powers being associated with good.

Propaganda:

Sometimes this trope means examining how those cast in traditionally “evil” roles are not inherently bad and, in more extreme cases, can use their abilities in creative ways to help others, thus doing away with harmful stereotypes regarding how appearance or circumstances of birth determine morality. Sometimes it’s just having your hero wear all black and wield a giant demon sword because it looks cool. You can’t go wrong either way.

[renaultphile]

More of a novelist than a queer......

Gay fictions : Wilde to Stonewall : studies in a male homosexual literary tradition by Claude J Summers.

I recently discovered this book searching for material on The Charioteer. Although this post is mostly about the things I disagree with in it, I do recommend the chapter on The Charioteer for the historical and political context he gives, both from the US and UK.

What really got to me was the rather patronising suggestion that the poor benighted English lady accidentally wrote a quite good gay novel.  

A personal response to the book is one thing, but when it comes to imputing motive and intent to the author (as he does liberally), I feel compelled to challenge some of his assumptions.  It is true that some of the material I am referencing may not have been so easily available in 1990.  All the more reason to draw attention to it here, then.

This paragraph sums up his attitude pretty well:

The unconscious homophobia of The Charioteer results in part from a failure of vision, but it also reflects the extreme difficulties faced by writers who attempted to broach the issue of homosexuality in 1950s popular literature. At the same time that the novel mirrors 1950s homophobia, however, it also subverts that ideology, and in a peculiarly satisfying way. The context in which the book was written thus provides a gauge against which to measure its successes even as it also helps explain its failures.

Summers seems to make the assumption that the entire social context which Renault depicts in the novel is inseparable from her own attitudes and beliefs.  Yet her other writings show that she did not believe in the theories of Freud, or in the ‘sickness’ model of homosexuality, or in the inevitability of psychological harm.  I expect that is why Alec reports that psycho-analysis cured his stammer, not his sexuality.  A nice bit of symbolism there.  In ‘The Friendly Young Ladies’, she ruthlessly satirises the medical model of homosexuality through the antics of Dr Peter Bracknell. 

He continues his argument as follows:

The [accommodationist] movement's premium on respectability......its acquiescence to religious, medical, and legal professionals as authorities who are qualified to dictate the nature of discourse about homosexuality — all parallel the strategies adopted by Renault, who determinedly presents Laurie, Ralph, and Andrew as rare respectable homosexuals, only slightly "bent," and willing and able to adjust to societal demands as articulated by the "authorities."

The important caveat here is that these leading characters see themselves as ‘rare respectable homosexuals’.  It’s not the same thing.  Once we analyse the actual behaviour of the characters, the ‘good gay bad gay’ split starts to break down pretty quickly.

Another crucial aspect of this book is the degree to which the action is filtered through a narrator who is intelligent but judgemental, hyper-vigilant but prone to self-delusion, intuitive but often inarticulate, and almost completely lacking in experience.  The other characters, though vividly drawn through speech and action, are given no interior monologue.  This mode of narrative gives her the perfect vehicle to rehearse and critique all kinds of of theories, social perspectives, and psychological responses.  The clichés, the stereotypes, the prejudice, the unsolicited and contradictory advice, are all a necessary part of the story because it is a story of discovery. 

It seems unlikely that she went to all the trouble of espousing principles she did not believe in, just to court publishers.  We know she had trouble getting published in the US, but the cuts she made between 1953 and 1959 show no sign of appeasement  - quite the opposite with her removal of Ralph’s disparaging use of the term ‘red’, which suggests she did not want to give succour to the McCarthy-ites by using the term.  (By the way thank you to @awizardcommandingsleep for pointing out that cut.)

So what is the significance of writing about people who were invisible to society, and perhaps more importantly, did not wish to reject it?  Technical, scientific or political knowledge tends to have limited scope for breaking down prejudice.  More commonly the change begins when people meet each other.  But how can that process start when those people are invisible?  The paradox is laid out particularly well in this post of an article from One Magazine.  

One of the things a novelist can do is bridge that gap of knowledge.  Anyone who picks up this book can meet these men. Her readers can get to know them and like or loathe them as people, not as ciphers.  Summers identifies Laurie’s remark to Alec, ‘You’re more a Doctor than you’re a queer’ as problematic.  I imagine for Renault it was literally the point of the book. 

Consequently, I would argue that The Charioteer has aged pretty gracefully, moving seamlessly from the contemporary to the historical. Lord knows, it is not the only story, and this is not the only way to tell it, but it is an important one, well told.