#it wasn't my intention to shade or hate on the ending but now...well... | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

epwritten · 7 months ago

Text

T a s t e ~ l.f

"Just look at me baby, day and night"

Description: You want what you're afraid of getting. You both play this game of want and desires, temptations, and limitations, secrecy, and need.

Word count: 8K. Hehehe. 😬

Author's note: I got into Stray Kids late summer last year, so there's a lot of performances I'm still getting into. But a week ago I saw Taste for the first time and...wow. When I first watched the Taste performance, everything was running through my mind at once. It was the perfect showcasing of temptation, where me -a usually by-the-rules person - had thoughts that were uncontrollable. I've never seen anything quite like that before, where in the moment I was so captivated. This concept came immediately after watching the video late hours into the night.

Additional notes: AU kind of...even though they're Danceracha, they're not members of Stray Kids. They're three college friends trying to make it by, making music.

Another note! This can be a little toxic, but the whole gist of this one shot is to showcase what temptations between people really look like, especially if you have one who grew up under strict conditions and now goes through inner conflict of whether or not they should throw away their restrictions for a chance. I don't want there to be anything that upsets anyone as they read this. It wasn't my intention honestly!

AND MOST IMPORTANT!

There's no smut in this. I'm not comfortable writing it. I know this one shot more ofc focuses on temptation and what that feels like, but I'm just not comfortable so please don't expect it and then get mad when you've reached the ending and there's nothing aha <3

Okay that's it! Happy reading! Hope you will enjoy <3

To lay it out in simple terms, you were drowning.

No, not literally. But it felt so much like it.The place had a way of heightening all of your five senses in one setting. You always found yourself playing the senses game with your dad when you were young. He may have forgotten about it, but you carried the habit with you, even if it was subconsciously. You always observed the five senses in a place and how that made you feel. Sometimes it was for safety measures, identifying what in an unknown room could be your shelter. Other times it was a reflection of happiness, if you were at the beach or somewhere that you could not count all your senses aligning in the best way.

But sometimes, on a night like tonight for instance, it was out of nerves.

Smell: The scent of expensive perfumes from those in the room lingering in the air.

Hear: The noises of conversations in and out of your ear through everybody else who was in the room.

Touch: Your pulse, right under your neck, a signal of nervousness when things got too overwhelming.

See: The lights dimmed in perfect blue, everything dark and rich in color that you may as well have been drowning with the wave of shade plastered and flashing shadows where the lights loomed.

Everything about this atmosphere was tempting, inviting, alluring. You could feel the vibration of the bass, on the floor right where your foot was planted, but also buzzing in your chest. You knew needed to breathe. But nothing was working with your senses anymore, almost as if they were too far gone, lost in this place of entrapment.

Why did you decide to come?

You were definitely out of place, you considered, as you craned your neck trying to look for something and nothing at the same time. People were chatting and laughing and you wondered if being social was a game of pretend that everyone aced at, or an actual skill. Nobody even looked bored before an event would start. It amazed you so. You on the other hand, always hated to be so early to places where you had no other choice but to socialize before the main events arrived. Yet for this specific night, you didn't dare arrive late. You didn't want to admit it out loud, but you didn't want to miss...him.

Great. Your mind was doing it again. Thinking about what you vowed not to think of. But there it was, a delicate subject you didn't want to tempt with thought and imagery, but it pulling you in.

Him, with his dark eyes, a stare that captivated you, and seemed to control all of you- your mind, your body, your soul. He was dangerous to what you thought held your convictions for so long, the definition of what you couldn't cross and somehow you did. Though not really. But still. The whole thing was rather...complicated.

Because it started with you, that night, three months ago. You didn't even know why you were there. Life was tough and you needed somewhere to escape to. Your friends always suggested a high scene that could make your feelings go numb for the evening, how the dopamine release would maybe even be good for you. You never considered it those days of your youth, but a few months back, you found yourself at a high scene of a nightclub under blaring lights.

~ 3 months ago ~

Even though you were in your early 20s, it was your first time, so of course you felt out of place. Did people actually enjoy this?

That night was a night of many firsts. A stranger sauntered over to you and asked to buy you a drink. You didn't realize that what happened in the movies you saw could actually take place in real life. People were making out in the back corner- full on, not caring if anyone else was looking, and not getting a room anytime soon. The music was loud. There were so many people, so many stories. But, you all were strangers to each other, and that was the pep talk you told yourself.

You were a stranger. Whether you were actually shy and timid or confident and sexy, no one would know the difference. It was one night in this nightclub. You could be anyone you wanted to.

You could also meet anyone you wanted. And that's what you did.

He was on the top floor when you first saw him, manspread on the purple lounge couch. There were two other guys with him, one with brown hair and the other with blue hair but you barely noticed. Even when they stopped talking to each other and eyed you as you got to the top of the staircase, searching for a place to sit, your eyes only zeroed in on one.

See: Jet black hair, dark eyes, pale skin, wearing all black. He was the most beautiful person you could ever see. His features were pretty, but his stance was dominant and you couldn't help but let your mind run with thoughts that normally didn't cloud your vision. But this night was meant to be different anyway, at least, that's what you were trying to tell yourself.

You swallowed before you spoke out. "Am I allowed to sit here?" You asked, because for some strange reason no one else was up in the balcony seats, just those three men.

The man in the middle of the couch smiled before he shifted in his seat, moving to the other side of the couch.

"Of course you are. Come sit."

Hear: His voice was lower than expected, a velvety tone with a certain accent, though he didn't say enough words for you to realize which one it was. Your heart churned deep in your chest as you slowly walked towards them. You sat down right where the middle man patted and immediately you were hit with the scent of his cologne.

Smell: A hint of springtime but spice of power.

When you sat by him, the two other guys that were there wandered off, leaving you and the middle man alone. They made no excuses and walked out like it was no big deal. You didn't want to disturb any of them, but they were out of your hair by the time you sat.

You couldn't help but sneak a glance at who was sitting right by you on the couch. The music was blaring, lights were dimmed but luminescent enough so you could see the sparkles around his eyeliner and the color tint on his lips. He looked incredibly unreal, just sitting there.

And then he looked at you.

It was strange. You would be the person who would look away instantly, blush constantly and find something to fidget with, causing so much of a distraction to reduce the heat on your cheeks and color on your face. But right there in that moment, you didn't look away, you stared right back.

You didn't know anything about him, but you remembered how when you first walked into the club you said to yourself that you wanted a change. That you could be whoever you wanted, and no one would know anything different. He wouldn't know anything of your shy nature, the innocent image that so many mocked you about, he wouldn't know.

"Can I get you a drink?" The man asked finally, his pupils looking so intensely at your soul you thought he was genuinely lost in them. He was attentive, that was noted.

You shook your head. You've never drank before. Even though tonight would be the night of promises to live young and not overthink everything, you were still nervous for the substances.

"I'm good. Thank you though." You answered.

He nodded understandably as he sat up straighter. "Ah, that's okay." He said.

"I've never seen you here before. Are you new to the city?" He continued.

It was when he said that your heart started beating a bit more. Australian, that's what it was. He was definitely Australian.

He angled his body on the couch so he could face you properly. Though you were shy among his gaze, and had trouble fully looking at him.

"I've been here, I just..." You paused. You didn't want to seem like such a fool if you were to say that you've never been in a nightclub before. The man looked around your age and it would be somewhat embarrassing.

So you lifted your eyes and looked at him.

"I just never got to actually talk to you before." You said.

The man blinked before he leaned forward, a hand brought his chin as he gazed at you. "You've seen me here, but you never talked to me?"

You swallowed but wanting to keep going with the act. You told yourself in your mind not to care. So what if you flirted a little bit? Anything that would comment for this man would be truthful anyway.

So you scanned him with your eyes, taking everything in before you spoke out.

"Well...you're the sexiest person I've ever laid eyes on, so it'd be difficult..." Your voice trailed off.

Oh goodness. Did you really just say that out loud?

The man raised an eyebrow, but his smirk said otherwise. "Sexy, yeah? That's what you think of me as?"

When he repeated your words back, it made you suddenly shy, looking away. How did people at clubs do this? Were they always that forward?

He looked like he was okay with it, but you couldn't keep this front and confident act much longer. But you wanted to. You so wanted to just forget about your worries and let the night take its course.

"Hey," He chuckled warmly. "Don't go shy on me now." He said, eyes never leaving your face.

So you didn't. You took a deep breath and looked back at him. "Yes, that's what I think of you. You're sexy."

Being forward left a weird taste in your mouth, but the way he looked at you said so much at the same time. It fed you, fed your emotions. Because you could see that your words were the ones to cause him to smile, despite the shyness wanting to creep up on you.

"Thank you." His voice was a low decibel of temptation. He let his eyes travel down past your eyes for a split second before centering back on your face again.

You blinked and took a shallow breath, trying to ease the thundering beat in your chest.

The man then smiled genuinely and you swore you never saw anything more unreal. He looked kissable. You wondered what kissing him would feel like.

Where did that thought come from?

"You're a little shy, aren't you?" He guessed, reading your like a book.

Touch: You crossed one leg over the other, accidentally brushing his leg with yours and you quickly drew it back. You were failing your confidence but the way he looked at you...there was really no chance.

He chuckled when you didn't respond. "Don't be, get comfortable. What's your name?" He asked.

You said it and he repeated your name to himself before he nodded. "It compliments you. You're just as beautiful if not more."

And there came the butterflies once more.

You turned to him, trying to come back to look into his brown eyes. "What's your name?" You threw the question back to him.

"Felix." He answered, giving you his hand to shake.

It wasn't the most unexpected name for this midnight prince of a man. If anything, it was pretty attractive.

Around you both the music still blared and you started to feel your mind drifting back to the scene around you with your senses. But you wanted to be present and looked back at Felix with a question in mind.

"So...why are you here tonight?" You asked, trying to attempt conversation.

Felix looked up at the ceiling and then around. "Honestly...I'm performing on that stage in a minute." He said, looking behind him.

You did a double take when you saw the stage. "On...the pole?"

Felix shook his head and laughed. "No, no. A couple of friends and I we dance and make music, and then we perform at clubs."

Your face flushed. "Oh."

That was it. You were done. Embarrassed. You would try to take a cab and leave and never return. Possibly leave the country. Never be seen again. Burried in a hole. Whatever worked.

You didn't realize you were actually spacing out and planning a disappearing act until you felt a strong but soft touch on your arm. You averted your gaze and saw Felix shooting a soft smile.

"Why are you here tonight?" He asked.

It was very much of a good question. You wanted to know yourself. Life was being a lot. You needed a change of scene. You wanted to check out the club. You wanted to not let your worries cloud your mind. You were a rigid person and you imagined what it would be like to, for one moment, live more freely.

But you weren't about to go into the details of it all. You still were assigned one task, and that was let go.

"Because...I want to see you perform." You answered softly.

Felix blinked in surprise before he smirked, his hand patting your leg.

"Good girl." He muttered.

Hear: The words "good girl", over and over in your head from now until morning. You didn't know what to do with yourself.

Felix suddenly stood up and you looked at him, your heart beat picking up in haste."Wait, where are you going?" You asked, confused.

Felix glanced at the stage and then back at you, his eyes daring. "Going to be the reason why you came here tonight, of course. You should watch the stage." He winked and then walked away, going down the stairs, not looking back once.

He was so mysteriously sexy, so captivating, that you didn't know if your mind was held straight. You were thinking a million thoughts, imagining instances that past you would never do. On and on were piles of debating in your head between the two. The familiar innocence you vowed to protect, or the risking image that didn't care who you were, allowing you to dive deep into someone else. Maybe someone you were all along.

You couldn't think much because soon the music died down and you walked to the rail of the balcony, looking down. You technically could've gone down, but there were so many people. You liked having the space to yourself. It made you observe.

And when Felix and his two friends were finally on stage and danced, you were absolutely stunned. The other two were passionate, of course. The one with the blue hair was like blazing fire and then other with brown hair like sharp ice. Yet Felix had a power to him, an aura that was unshaken. He moved effectively and gracefully at the same time.

Their small set ended, only a couple of songs before the three went back upstairs and joined you as the stage was getting ready for exotic dancers. You stood up, wanting to pull Felix aside. When Felix saw you, he smiled, sauntering over to you.

"What did you think?" He asked in a low tone, reaching you.

You looked at him, truly. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead and his hair was slightly messier from the dancing. He was breathing hard, staring at you. It made you feel vulnerable of the true thoughts in your mind. You wondered just this once, how he would react if you were direct.

"I think you're a dangerous temptation." You finally answered bluntly, stepping into his space.

Felix raised an eyebrow. "Really? I'm a dangerous temptation, how so?" He asked, though his voice was smug.

He was taller than you but he crouched down, leaning forward so he could be at eye level with you.

You took a deep breath. "Because..." Your voice trailed off as you noticed a strand of hair covering his eye. You wanted to see his eyes. Without thinking you moved his escaping strand away, brushing it behind his ear. But it wasn't until you felt your fingertips reach the side of his face and saw him staring at you, not backing away either, gave you a weird longing.

What if tonight nothing mattered?

What if you could just be?

Felix stepped closer to your space, looking down at you. When he watched your hand slowly run through his hair, you caught him biting his lip subtly, but to you it was so hot.

He said your name then, eyes on you. When you looked at him, as the blue lights shone on his face, you could see a dark look in his eyes, it was calling you.

"Do you wanna get out of here?" You asked lowly.

A night of first experiences. It started with the drink offering, it continued with the flirtatious comments, and now it came to this point. You may have imagined the possibility of 'what if', but now it was your reality.

You just asked the hottest man in this whole club if he wanted to leave with you. That was something you never imagined yourself to do.

You looked to the side for a second, but the moment that you would want to second guess, a gaze of his would send darts to your heatt, causing it to beat rapidly in response to how he was looking at you. A wave of intensity and suddenly fear of regret if the night didn't happen, rushed through your soul.

"My place or yours?" Felix asked. His voice was even deeper if that made sense, filled with need.

"Yours." You said immediately.

~Present Day ~

You glanced on the watch on your arm, and then looked back to the stage. It was empty, the smoke machine clouding your vision. The playlist in the background was loud, the stero basically right in front of you. But what did you expect, you were front row.

You wondered where he was, maybe backstage with Hyunjin and Lee Know. You recalled when you first formally met the two, a few days after the first night you met Felix. It was a hang out, he called it, where a bunch of his friends and him were grabbing drinks and he wanted to see you again. He also wanted to talk to you. You didn't know why you said yes. He was supposed to be a stranger you'd know for one night, and then you both would leave each other and never see each other again. But of course, knowing your luck, it could never happen.

That night, the first one where after his set, you both left the venue not looking back, nothing actually happened. You were a virgin, you were raised strictly under rigid parental rules, you never drank or did drugs, you haven't had a first real kiss, you've never had any guy talk to you let alone bring you to their place, and you were scared regardless. But you wanted him. You didn't know why, but you wanted Felix so much.

~3 months ago~

Your foreheads pressed against each other. You felt his hands grab your face but you let your head stay around his. You could feel him all around, inhaling his scent. You were in his room, in his bed and yet...nothing. Sure there were touches here and there, kisses peppered down your neck, but you were so nervous. In the heat of the moment, being in the club with the blaring lights, electrifying music and sensual atmosphere it was easy to not think and let go. But right there in Felix's house, things were more difficult to navigate.

"I...don't know." You admitted softly.

Felix sighed, planting a kiss on your forehead once more. When he departed, he looked at you, and then ran his hands down your arm.

"If you don't want to do this, we don't have to." He said.

You glanced at the bed. It was soft, inviting, right there. And that was Felix was well. He was right there.

You looked down at your lap. "I want to, but...i- I don't know."

Felix remained quiet, nodding. When you saw his understanding you rested your arms around his neck, giving him some physical consolement. He breathed in deeply, eyes closed for a second before he leaned in once more and kissed the side of your chin. You hitched out a gasp.

"You want to but you don't know." Felix repeated your words against your skin.

He had a tendency of doing that, of throwing back the words you said so that you could hear echo in his voice. It was a shot of questioning if you were really sure. But it was so attractive coming from him.

Without even realizing it, you slightly tilted your head to the side, allowing him the access. His hands traveled down to your waist and as the kisses went deeper he found grip in your hips. A slow hand creeped, under your shirt to touch your bare skin. But as you felt his touch your eyes opened and you moved in your seat.

"Felix...I..."

You didn't want Felix to get annoyed. Every time you initiated something, he would respond to it, then you chickened out. You were sure that back in the club there were a lot of people who would want to spend the night with Felix.

You were the one that asked him, and now that it was happening you're nervous and indecisive?

You shook your head, feeling stressed out. It shouldn't be this stressful. Either you wanted it or not.

"I'm sorry." You apologized in a whisper.

Felix stared at you a little more. "What do you want from me, baby? What do you want me to do for you?"

~Present Day~

Two months and 13 days. It had been two months and 13 days since you've seen him. You were nervous as you craned your neck trying to look for something. You eyed the exit sign. You felt ridiculous. Surely you wanted to see this performance, but you were right up front, meaning Felix would see you.

He sent you an invitation, letting you know that he was going to be performing at an event. It wasn't even a bar or a club, it was an arts venue where people got the chance to display their talents and get scouted if they had the chance. You were proud of Felix, and Hyunjin and Lee Know. You knew that they were talented and worked hard.

You were curious for their song choice. Felix didn't say much when you asked him, just that it was written by the three of them inspired by true events. Then he told you it'd be special if you could make it, since it was inspired by you.

You never had a song inspired by you before.

You were going to go regardless. It wouldn't matter if they sang about bowling, whatever it was, you knew they would put on a show. But the fact that it was inspired by you...what part of you?

Would it be very direct and knowing? Did it include your name? Or was it slightly subtle, using certain words and symbolism that only made sense from the person that wrote it, and the muse.

Your heart beat at the thought. There was an anticipation growing in the air as the smoke machine from the stage traveled just about where you were. You breathed in deeply and closed your eyes. You were ready for whatever was to come.

~3 months ago~

It became on and off, like a tennis match.

Another night the guys performed at a bar. When their set was done, a lady with long brown hair and a sparkly black dress walked over to Felix and was talking to him across the room. She was smiling, using wild gestures and you're stomach flipped when you saw her hold on to his arm while laughing. Felix gave a smile and talked with her for a bit, nodding along to what she was saying.

You felt pathetic. Why did you think that you and Felix had something? There were rules and natures to the club scene. People weren't to be in contact with each other after a nightly exchange. So if you were the one Felix talked to that first night, that meant someone else would be the one the next time.

You got up from your seat abruptly, and Felix's eyes averted to you but you turned, picking up your purse, and then weaved your way through the crowd. You were done with the night. You needed to go back to your place and relax.

You left the bar and stood by the crossroad, waiting for the light to turn green so you could walk. As you looked up into the night sky, your eyes trying to adjust to the orange street lights in comparison to the darker theme shades in the bar, you heard footsteps behind you.

"She just wanted to say she liked our set. She works in the music industry."

It was Felix no doubt.

You shook your head and then shrugged. "Okay...? That's great."

"You don't have to be jealous about it, I'm not interested in her."

You weren't facing Felix, but you could hear the undertones of his voice and recognized the smug. He was enjoying this.

"I'm not jealous." You said.

Felix hummed. "You're not jealous, huh?" You could feel him walking closer to you.

"You must think so lowly of me." Felix's hand snaked around your waist and then pulled you closer with no effort.

"You left a whole bar, took all your stuff, just because I was talking to someone of the opposite sex. You don't think I know what's going through your brain right now, do you?"

You breathed in deeply, inhaling his scent once more. The close contact was driving you crazy but you kept your eyes to the signs, waiting for the signal for you to walk.

And then a kiss planted on the back of your neck. And another. And another.

"The way you look mirrors how I look at you. The way you think of me is what I think of you. How your body yearns for me is how my body yearns for you. You don't think I would know?" Felix's voiced out in a low purr in your ears, his breath fanning your skin.

Slow kisses peppered lightly on your neck and then traveled down to your shoulder.

"You're sexy when you get jealous. So innocent yet so possessive? It turns me on." Felix narrated, holding you up as you could feel tingles throughout the course of your body.

It should have been weird thinking that you were in the position outside for all the public to see as you waited at the crossroads, but you didn't mind. In a weird way it was almost thrilling? You wished that you could go home with him then and there.

But you couldn't. And just as Felix's left hand slid down your thigh, you took a step forwards moving away.

"Felix," You took a deep breath, and then faced him. "You know I can't." You said.

For the first time, he got quiet. There was a slight look on his face, a flash of something you couldn't depict before he looked at you.

"What do you want from me then?" Felix asked, once more, saying your name calmly.

"You undress me with your eyes but get all shy whenever I touch you. What are you leaving me with?" He asked.

You looked down. You figured you owed Felix the truth.

"I've never done...anything with anyone before." You admitted.

Felix nodded. "That's fine, I have no intention of taking something away from you if that's not what you want. But you've told me you wanted it. And you seduce me. You ask me to take you to my apartment. I can't think straight when I'm with you. And yet the moment we try, you're gone." Felix said, running fingers through his hair.

"You're confused." He added.

I blinked and then shook my head. "You're the one confusing me. I don't know what I want to do with you. I don't know what I want you to do to me. I imagine things and I want to experience it with you..." You let your voice trail off.

Felix brushed hair out of your eyes. "I want to do everything to you. But you're not helping me. And this innocent self of yours isn't innocent at all. You're a temptress." Felix kissed you once more right by your jaw, just where you felt your knees went weak.

But he left go before anything escalated. His eyes looked over your head and then he pointed. "If you really want to go, it's your walk now."

You turned and looked seeing that there was indeed the countdown for the street. Cars waited for you to cross, their gazes impatient. You looked back at Felix and then the light once more.

You may have been a 'temptress' but Felix was nothing more than a 'tempter' himself.

~Present Time ~

They were last. Of course they were last.

The event night had gone on, with amazing debuting artists and groups. You liked the music and enjoyed the varied dances. There were traditional styles, ballads sung, hip-hop numbers, rock...etc. It was a little bit of everything.

You almost forgot the main reason why you were here. You were enjoying the night way more than you had initially expected, but as the MC came on stage thanking everyone for coming, it was then you realized they were the showstoppers.

"We have one more group for you guys, they're performing an original never performed before, ladies and gentleman! You're the first to hear this so let's make sure it's extra special to them. Give it up for Danceracha!"

The audience cheered and your heart thundered as the room went dark, lights out for a second. You sat up straighter, your eyes never leaving the stage as you prepared for anything though you weren't sure for what to expect.

See: Blue lights. It was a deep hue, and with the visuals of bubbles on the screens surrounded the room as though the place was underwater. Three spotlights in light blue lines centered towards the three that move as soon as the song starts. Hyunjin to the left, Lee Know in the middle, and Felix on the right side. There were dancers around the stage in black, in a startup runners position but not moving.

Hear: The music started. F# minor. It sounded mysterious, alluring, matching the colors of the lights around. It's own kind of sexy but captivating in a way that would make anyone wonder what was to come.

The three danced with grace and flow, synchronizing with the beat. The intro played, your eyes looking to where he was.

And how could you not? He looked incredible in a deep indigo unbuttoned silk blazer atop a black tank top over black dress pants, accessorized in silver index rings for both his right and left hand, and a lock necklace over his chest. His black hair slightly growing a bit longer in the back, and fluffy front covering the sides of his face. He moved seriously, passionately, elegantly, and dangerously.

The backup dancers with them got up and the three starting walking to the center of the stage. Just as they started their formation, you heard the voice you unknowingly missed, the voice you craved.

Fake eyes open

또 속아버린 ��픔

이참에 날 또

가지고 놀아줘

You took a deep breath. Even within the first lines you knew. You knew exactly what he was saying.

Lee know started singing next and you heard the softness of his tone.

Fake eyes open

또 속아버린 아픔

이참에 날 더

망가지게 놀아줘

Hyunjin came in third with the power of the song building up.

It's like bad red roses

향기에 미쳐 호흡이 가빠짐

아름다움에 가려진 짙고 두꺼운 가시

Don't care about it 알고 있잖아

베일에 싸인 눈동자

헷갈린다면 지금 이 순간을

Lee Know sang once more in a falsetto.

즐겨 baby baby don't test me oh no

Baby baby don't get me wrong

The next sequence had Lee Know and the dancers lower themselves, immediately drawing the spotlight now to Felix as he sang the next part. People around you cheered.

거짓은 안 해 감히

의미 부여한 이 밤의

정답은 you can get me

오로지 you can get me

The music played then, no words excepted Lee Know vocalizing and the smoothness of their dance. Almost like they were swimming. Almost like you were drowning.

They all got up, Felix singing once more.

Yeah make you feel my love la la la

지금 너 come and taste me now

Yeah you better watch out

You're gonna like ah

그래 난 속삭여 la la la la

Hyunjin came back to the center, carrying the last of the pre-chorus as the beat was building.

너와 나 둘 사이의 거릴 좁혀

잠깐의 호흡과 맞닿아 true up

이 스윗한 공간에 빨라진 ah

이 스윗한 공간에 달궈진

The music came to a sudden stop, only the faint sound of a chimy instrument playing as Felix graced the center of the stage, eyes turning to you as he pointed.

Just look....at...me

The beat of the chorus came back strong as the room erupted with cheers. The dance had intensified, filled with electrifying motion that made your heart soar. They were so in sync with each other and yet knowing that what they were saying was inspired by you...it made you sit up straighter and clear your throat.

And then your breath was held when you saw them in hypnotic rhythm going down to the floor.

Just look at me baby, day and night

A single touch. Even though part of the choreography, you weren't ready for Felix's hand that drifted up his leg as his back arched slightly, head rolled back as he sang that line.

What on earth was he doing to you and why was it working so much?

Lee Know started singing the next part again as the ground work was now on their knees.

Don't make me bad make me bad

I'm addicted to you

Hyunjin sang the next part in a beautiful falsetto.

이미 길들여진 내 맘을 자극해

They spun, getting out of the position and were now standing along with the dancers as Lee Know sang the same line again, the beat dropping.

Don't make me bad

Bad

Addicted to you

In synchronized movement, all the guys on stage leaned to the side. It was when looking at Felix and seeing his hand go up to his face did you realize it was him singing the same way Hyunjin just did in a heavenly falsetto, as if he wasn't the one with a low sultry voice for the duration of the song.

시작해 버린 이상 내 게 아님 안 돼

The music started to quiet down, back to the soft purr of seduction like the intro of the song. All of the guys' movements flowed like water, breathing heavily but graceful and poised in a swimming-like manner. It was just the keyboard pad and the chimed-like instrument playing as each person took a step back, and then another. And as the dancers dispersed to the sides of the stage, Felix, Lee Know and Hyunjin held their ending pose as the music came to an end, centered on the stage.

The lights went to black and everyone throughout the room cheered. You could see people around you giving standing ovations yet you stayed unmoved trying to still your beating heart and finding a way to process everything that just happened in the span of two minutes.

Desire. Need. Yearning. Passion. Sensual images and thoughts running in your head. Throughout the performance, though still professional, Felix managed to make a way of giving you his personal show. No one in the building would ever think anything of it, but the words, the dance, the eye contact, everything was what you understood.

It was something the two of you danced with yourselves. Wanting to give in, but being afraid. Yet so separately wanting to find out what would happen...if...

You sat back for a long time, an aftermath of conversations were playing as your background music even though the song was still in your head. Felix was engraved there. The way he looked, the way he sounded, the way he moved...it was everything to you.

The MC came back saying that the night was still young and there would be the chance for everyone to start partying and dancing the night away. The groups that would be scouted would be announced the following few days, but to throw all the worries aside the MC invited people go the dance floor.

You stayed for a little bit, and then got up. You needed to wash your face. You didn't know necessarily what that would do but you needed something to help you feel loose? You were feeling courageously needy, but for the first time, you didn't want the feeling to shoot down once activated.

When you took a minute to yourself- even though it didn't help much- rinsing cold water on your face, you looked at your reflection in the bathroom window. Replays of the performance ran once more through your head. You couldn't help but feel a bit of pride, considering the fact that there were many young and pretty people who had eyes and could definitely see Felix as attractive, and yet...you were the one he was singing to.

You had to find him.

You stayed in the bathroom for about a minute more and wiped at the cold droplets on the sides of your face before you took a deep breath and walked out, going back to the main room. You stopped right at the entrance of the door, scanning the crowd. Felix could be anywhere. Perhaps backstage, maybe talking to people, or maybe....

Wait.

It was timely how you recognized him. Insane, really, because all down the far side he was basically a shadow. But you saw him. You saw at the far corner someone sitting by the back corner. Drink in hand, manspread on the wooden chair. His blazer was off, revealing his black tank top.

He was ruining you without even doing anything.

Surrounding him was a couple of other guys. They had black T-shirts on so you figured it was the some of the backup dancers.

You took a deep breath and then started walking. You awkwardly weaved your way through the dancing train of people before you got to the back of the room. When you reached the table, everyone turned. You felt nervous seeing that you were looking right at Felix after all this time of no contact.

"Um...we're gonna go to the floor. I'm sure you two have some catching up to do." One of the dancers said. He gave a knowing look at you and you wondered if he knew who you were.

Felix shot a smile, giving him a crisp dap and then a salut. "Okay, have fun." He wished.

His voice. How you missed the sound of his voice.

Felix waited a few extra seconds to see each of them leave you both before he averted his eyes to you. There was a story twisted with an airing confidence in his eyes.

"Didn't think you'd show." He said, now planting his elbow on the table. He leaned back, shamelessly staring down your low v-neck shirt. But you were shamelessly staring at his arms, playing at this game as well.

You shrugged. "I had to. I know how much this night is important to you."

Felix nodded, taking a sip of his drink before setting the glass down. "So..." He pushed his hair back, combing his fingers through it before he leaned forward.

"Did you like what you saw?" He asked.

You didn't want to sugarcoat it. You couldn't anyway.

"You were incredible. And the song...it was...it made me think of things..." You answered shyly.

Felix didn't say anything for a few seconds but you saw the corner of his lip lift in a small smirk.

"Yeah? What kind of things?"

You looked down, feeling the heat on your cheeks as your mind went wild. Imagining having Felix touch you, to whisper sweet nothings in your ear with his deep voice, to be the one you could experiment with. He sold that image during the performance, and you wanted nothing more than for him to carry that persona with you, behind closed doors, no one watching.

"Talk to me, baby. What's on your mind? I wanna know." Felix said, his eyes looking up at you in a strange innocent doe way, as if he wasn't the one in charge for setting your soul on passionate fire.

You breathed deeply, taking slow steps towards him. He was right in front of you now, though he didn't stand up and you didn't sit. You were looking down at him and Felix was looking up at you.

"It made me think of...you doing whatever you want to me..." You said.

Felix didn't make any quick movements but somehow he sat closer. He reached forward and hooked his finger to your belt loops, slowly reeling you closer.

"Is that so?" He asked, looking up at you.

You took a sharp intake of air, trying to hold it together. It wasn't even much but this gesture made you feel in need, like a glimpse of what could happen tonight with his control.

But suddenly Felix let go of his grip, his hands in the air in a surrendering position.

You looked at him confusingly. Why would he stop right there? Right when you began to feel once more like pottery clay molding into his hands.

Felix looked at you dead in the eye. "I'm not going to touch you at all, if you don't want this. Okay?"

You nodded.

"No, love, I need words. You got it?" His voice was firm and clear. It seemed to you he was done with mixed signals. And you understood him, because you were done too.

"Yes." You answered in a small voice.

Felix nodded once, licking his lips as he took in all of you. But just as he said, he stuck to the rules, folding his arms instead. You knew in this moment you had to be the one to take the first leap.

So you did something you've seen in movies a couple of times. You stepped closest to Felix and then brought your hand down to his chest, slowly. Felix took in a sharp breath, but still looked at you, challenging a continuation by your command. When you felt confident in doing so, you withdrew your hand from his chest slowly. Locking eyes with his, you nodded.

"I do want this. I'm not going to be like a light switch and annoy you, I truly want this more than ever. I want you." You said.

Felix looked at you and then looked around the room, and back at you. "You're sure?"

"Yes." You repeated, your voice louder.

Felix flashed a smile as he stood up, towering over you. He wrapped an arm around your waist and just when you were right in front of him you could feel his kisses finding their way across your neck, a familiar feeling you didn't know how much you missed.

But you didn't want your first time to be in a crowd as loud as this, barely hearing as the pop and EDM fill your eardrums.

As though sensing that, Felix pulled away, but lifted your chin so you were at eye level with him.

"I'm going to take you to my place, okay? Do you have your stuff?" He asked lowly.

You were so caught up staring at him, so close to your face, that you almost forgot what he asked. But you nodded, looking down at your purse. "Yeah, it's all here."

Felix nodded and then smiled at you in such an endearing way you could almost kiss him first at the sight.

You were breathing heavily, heart beating. The moment would soon be yours and you wanted to savor everything, remembering the exact feelings you had to look back on.

Felix didn't waste time placing a hand on your knee as he drove, caressing you ever so softly but enough to make you shiver in your seat. It was a reminder that you very much so were in his car and was going back to the place you hadn't been in months. Only, there would be a different ending with this time.

And when you arrived, you let out a small noise when he didn't even bother warning you, didn't even bother opening the lights, but he led you through the dark, entering his room. You faced the bed, knowing that tonight would be when it all would happen.

"You haven't changed your mind, no?" Felix asked, leaning against the drawer as he eyed you.

Why was he so effortlessly hot?

You shook your head and looked at Felix. "No." You said.

When you thought back to the performance, the words Felix said, how he sang, the daunting look in his eyes, you would be a fool to not take this opportunity and truly let go for the first time. And you wanted it to be Felix who would have his way with you, however he wanted it. You couldn't see it any other way.

"You're shaking."

"Oh am I? I didn't notice." You replied sarcastically, which made Felix chuckle.

"I missed you." He admitted, which made your heart flip.

"I missed you too." You repeated.

Felix slowly walked over, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind.

"Close your eyes and relax for me?" He whispered in your ear.

Hear: His low voice penetrated your being. Sultry and soothing but charming and the very thing that made you at his service and obey.

You closed your eyes immediately and felt his lips nuzzle your ear. But you let out a small giggle, squirming a little. You could hear Felix laugh behind you.

"It tickles?"

You just giggled in reply. You still keep your eyes closed. For a few seconds there's nothing, but right after you felt his arms wrap around your chest, holding you tightly as he presses his sweet kisses on the back of your neck once again.

Smell: The scent of his cologne was intoxicating, beckoning and surrounded you at the same time. You wanted to bathe in it.

You sighed deeply.

"Remember to breathe, yeah?" Felix advised, his lips moving on your skin.

"Yeah." Your heart fluttered and you exhaled.

Felix hummed, his hand grazing down your chest. "You're so..." His voice trailed off.

You waited, hesitant but curious as to what Felix thought of you. But after long seconds of nothing as Felix started to kiss down your shoulder, you turned your neck slightly, opening your eyes.

"I'm so...? What? What am I?" You asked.

Felix took your waist, and gently moved you so that you were now turned around and facing him. Strands of hair fell in your face in the process of sudden movement, and Felix smiled, pushing the strands back behind your ear.

"When there's a better word than tempting I'll use it, but until then, that's all I'll say." He whispered.

"You're tempting me." You let out in a small voice.

"I'm tempting you." Felix repeated. You now concluded that when he repeated your words, it was the hottest thing ever.

Felix tilted his head upwards, looking at you with daring eyes. "Do something about it?" He dared.

Oh. My. Soul.

You took a deep breath, looking down. You were still scared, even though there was something that enveloped you. A feeling of want and need mixted together, as though the aftermath wouldn't even matter as long as Felix was right in front of you, staring with the same look of desire.

Touch: Your hands slowly grazed his chest, slowly and tentatively pulling the hem of his tank top.

Felix eyed you as he licked his lips, as though blinking would make him miss something.

Your heart beat continuously, mind pressing with thoughts as you, once more, noticed the scene heighten your five senses.

See: No other eyes but his, looking at no one else but you. The glow after dancing on stage, the beauty that was present with his dark features. The intoxicating look of thirst in his gaze.

Hear: Breathing. Faint but heavy. You couldn't even tell if it was coming from you or him, but you could hear the tension.

Smell: His cologne. The scent of springtime with a spice of power.

Touch: The fabric of the tank top. Cotton, perhaps? You didn't know. You didn't care. You suddenly wanted it off.

There was once more sense, but the intensity of the moment was making you experience a sort of amnesia. It made you frustrated, those leading up moments where they were careful and with care, but also dropped with tension that would wanted to cut. It was like a dam just moments before it would burst. But now this was driving you crazy because....

What was that last sense?

Felix's beautiful lips parted when you felt his abs through the shirt. He held your head with his hands, his eyes solely fixated on your lips.

"Kiss me or leave me." He whispered, the words powerful enough to send a wave through your core.

And that was when it clicked. His song. The last sense.

Taste.

The taste of his lips on yours, crashing, furiously enough let your head fall back. He groaned against your mouth, holding the back of your hair with the palm of his hand. He tasted like cinnamon but also a hint of peppermint as well. He fueled you in a way that was better than any of your imaginations.

So like tonight, and 3 months ago when you both first met, you were drowning in alluring waters under the surface of where you temptations washed over you. But unlike the game of tug-of-war to your body and heart where you would win, tonight you let the rope go with no regrets. You knew that this night was where finally, all of your senses aligned gloriously, and that there was no other person who could give it all to you but Felix.

#Spotify #lee felix #felix #skz felix #stray kids #stray kids oneshot #felix yongbok #felix x reader #felix x you #stray kids felix #felix imagines #danceracha #skz #skz danceracha #felix lee #skzfelix #felix fanfic

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ezrasmagicsandbox · 6 days ago

Text

💙🩷💙🩷💙🩷💙🩷💙🩷💙🩷💙🩷💙🩷💙🩷

When you really want Rhys x Reader content, but then you realize that for this to happen, you have to actually write... 🥲

————————————————————————

This will be Rhys x GN reader for the most part. I will try my hardest not to make it to male or female coded! I personally think Rhys gets cold easily because of the fact that he uses ice magic. (I think, don't hold me to that.)

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I Don't Think Purple Suits You.

As Rhys walks through the apartment he has grown accustomed to, he finds himself more bothered by the temperature than usual. He's always been a bit chilly, yes, but this was worse.

Apparently, Ava needed more help cooking than she thought because she burnt a bunch of bacon into tiny black bits. Windows were opened, the normal procedure was followed, and then Ava went to sleep. It was mid-October, and the other Daemos didn't seem to mind 43° heat, but Rhys was shivering enough normally, now he couldn't even sleep.

Rhys makes his way to the kitchen, just wasting time until morning arrived, and he could complai- politely ask Ava why the hell she decided to leave the windows open all night. He is met with the sight of you, rooting through the fridge like some rabid raccoon. The horned man is reasonably startled and ends up startling you in turn. He internally notes the now half-empty bag of shredded cheese that you stuff back into the fridge.

"Why are you rummaging around at this hour? Shouldn't you be asleep?"

"I could say the same to you, Rhys. This is a little late to be snooping, even for you."

"The temperature is prohibiting me from doing so, as Ava's cooking ventures did not fare well."

"Oh, you're cold? I mean, I have a jacket of mine you're free to borrow. If that's fine with you, I mean I wouldn't want to bother you ormesswithyourroutineIamsorryIshouldprobablyjustleave-"

Rhys cuts you off, a habit you hate most of the time, but needed now. "No, a jacket would be pleasant, Thank you."

As you walk to your room, Rhys notices you seem less tense than usual. "Has something changed tonight? Is it the off-set sleep schedule? You seem less... guarded."

"You're a lot easier to be around than the others sometimes. Not to show a bias, but the others can be too much and Pierce... well, he's Pierce. You're curious, and seem to have good enough intentions for a demon."

"Daemos, not demon."

"Daemos? I could have sworn Ava told me you guys were demons."

"Yes, Ava seems to be prone to that mix-up."

The lock you managed to convince the daemos not to rip off earlier turns with a click as you enter your room with Rhys behind. Rhys' hand rests on your back as you kneel down to search through your small basket of jackets that you've collected over the years.

You pull a deep purple jacket out of the basket, close enough to his size. Rhys' face pales at the color.

"This should fit ok."

You hand it to him, and he puts it on, believing you might just be oblivious to the color's implications for him and the other Daemos.

"Rhys, you look... odd. Are you alright? Do you not like the material?"

He sits there quietly, deciphering if you were actively threatening him by dressing him in the color of his blood, or if humans here didn't have any gorey correlation with any deep shades of purple.

A look is sent over your way, trying to figure out your intentions. You had always been nice. Well, after the Daemos had stopped breaking into your room and cleared up a lot of the yelling. That had stopped a while ago now. Why would you have any reason to change?

Before Rhys can come to a different conclusion, he rests a hand on your side and pulls you a bit closer.

"Are you feeling okay?"

His hand tightens, not enough to crush or tear like he fairly easily could, just to hold.

"Yeah... better than usual, actually."

It is said with a slightly more serene tone than you're used to from him. He's always been composed, but this wasn't professional composure, it was something softer. He lets go for a second to shrug the jacket off, only for those same hands to return. He holds you closer than last time, still cold, but not wanting to keep that damned jacket on much longer.

"This feels different than what I'm used to. Daemos are used to going through with things through violence and anger, so this... whatever this is, isn't something I am used to. Forgive me if I am too forward."

"No, no... This is... I can't complain."

"Good. I find myself wanting to see you happy more often as of recently."

His chin rests on your shoulder, his thumbs rubbing slow, easy circles onto your sides, inching a little lower every few seconds. He was patient, cautious, and a little oblivious sometimes, but he wasn't dumb. He saw the way you looked at him when you thought he wasn't paying attention.

You lean into it just enough to give him the right idea.

TIMESKIP TO ROUGHLY 10 A.M.

Ava rushes through the house, worried Rhys got too curious and got lost or hurt. She opens the door to your room, only to see you and Rhys cuddled into each other like you're in some strange fanfic written spontaneously on Tumblr. Rhys had his arms wrapped around your waist with his chest pressed into your back, shared blankets wrapping around the both of you like it's a daily occurrence.

Ava backs out like she's walked in on you sleeping together in the less than literal sense. The door clicks shut behind her as Rhys' eyes flutter open, burying his face in your hair.

"G'morning, Rhys."

The tired tone you got when sleep had succeeded in evading you for most of the night wasn't as obvious as usual, you even felt rested. Rhys didn't answer you, but he did press a small kiss to your hair.

Maybe he wasn't just the violence and stress he had always been surrounded by. Maybe, just maybe, he was just Rhys, even if only right now. After all, right now was all you needed.

#my inner demons #x reader #rhys my inner demons

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wxsteriawishes · 2 months ago

Text

Our Division Marianna x Matteo

Snippet 42.5

go back to masterlist

[DO NOT STEAL MY CONTENT]

[THIS IS ORIGINAL WORK]

content: mdni, touching chest area, steamy kiss, use of pet names (doll), mention of death, use of indecent language/swearing, borderline exhibitionism but not really because it's just a kiss

even if he hated her, he had the right to get jealous, didn't he? he was officially her husband, whether they liked it or not, after consummating the marriage last night. neither of them could forget what had already happened.

and even if they were married, she had the right to continue to hate him, didn't she? he hid things, he never apologized, it was so frustrating to be around him. he always succeeded in riling her up. maybe he had ulterior motives. . .

maybe that's why his first strategy to shut her up was to kiss her.

3.1k words 🖤🩶 (it's just a freaky kiss tbh)

Matteo grabs me by the arm and pulls me back. I glare up at him and yank myself out of his grip. "Don't--"

I should've expected he'd follow me into my bedroom. I should be used to his constant bothering by now. But I'm not.

"You're mad at me," he states, furrowing his eyebrows as he struggles to keep a hold on me. "What have I done to upset you?"

My jaw drops in disbelief. "You locked my sister up in a dungeon!" His brows furrow and I stare at him blankly.

"I did not," he scoffs, "her husband was the one--"

"You had the keys--" I interrupt him.

"Only to make sure she didn't get out."

I nod in mock understanding, finally breaking free of his iron grip on my arm. "Oh, so you simply kept her locked up--"

"That was not his intent--"

"--in a cage meant for criminals," I shout over him, backing away from him. "And you thought I was going to be fine with that? You truly believed I wasn't going to be even a little bit upset? When I asked you where she was and you said she was probably somewhere in the castle -- that was days ago!"

"I thought," he snaps, "that, after last night, you had at least warmed up to me a bit. That you would try to listen to me before jumping to accusations like you typically--"

I almost laugh. "Last night? Do not speak to me of last night when that was not something either of us wanted--"

"Oh, so you regret it now, do you?" A muscle feathers in his jaw, annoyance evident in his voice.

"Well, I'm not very keen on having to do it again--"

"Really?" He cocks his head, bitter amusement on his face instead of mine now. He takes a step toward me, slowing closing the distance between us again. "Because you didn't enjoy yourself?"

I feel myself flush with anger and temporarily forget about backing away. Instead, I'm getting all in his face, jabbing a finger at his chest. "Because of you, asshole!"

"What about me?" He yells, towering over me.

"Oh, where do I start?" My voice is dramatic, near-shrill. "Besides the fact that you're too self-centered and egotistical to think of anyone else before yourself? You're saying you're confused as to why I don't wish to be intimate with you again?" He opens his mouth to interrupt me again but I barely notice. "Don't act as if you're unaware of your cockiness, it's a flaw that is too stunning to ignore.

"You condescend me. Constantly. And do not pretend like I am overreacting. You mock my romantic ideals far too often to not know how important such a night is to me. No matter how much you sweet-talked to me, I know lust is all you feel for me." Then, before I get too carried away, I circle back. "And you know how much I care for my sister, so to find her locked up like that, with you just standing off to the side--"

"You are unbelievable." He grits his teeth, speaking over my angry protests. "Can I even try to defend myself on the issue?"

I find myself dangerously close to his face as we shout over one another. So close that I can make out where his iris ends and where his pupil begins. His eyes were nearly black, but right now I could see the slightest difference in the shades. "Fine," I snap. "Why did you do it?"

He only stares at me, the heat of his gaze burning my skin. "I did it because Leonidas asked me to." I wait for him to keep going as he takes a step forward. I almost startle when he leans down and our noses brush. Fury is written across his face and his voice is suddenly quiet. "He didn't want her to try and find him. He told me she needed to be resting."

"How is she meant to be resting when he's off somewhere risking his life? Of course she'd follow him, can you blame her--?"

"That is exactly why he didn't tell her!" he says, a slight growl in his voice. "To know your wife is in a dangerous place--"

"To know your husband is in a dangerous place--" I exclaim.

"Oh, for God's sake, she is pregnant!" he snaps. "Anyone with a sane mind can understand why he wanted her to stay safe at home."

"You call that dungeon safe?" I shove at him but he barely moves, the bulky asshole. That only irritates me further and I push him again, harder this time. Nothing happens. "You call it home?"

"Since when have you not been able to comprehend common logic?" he fumes, taking another step closer, ignoring my incessant shoves like they're harmless breezes.

I scoff, near laughing in his face like a maniac. "What the hell is wrong with you--" He grabs my arm and tugs me towards him. I yelp and hit his chest. "Bastard! Let go of me--"

"Shut up," he hisses.

My eyes widen and I stomp on his foot, but he moves away just in time for my heel to slam down into shiny marble instead. "Fuck you, arrogant prick! You're out of your mind, you dirty--"

He pulls me close and his lips brush mine, shocking me into silence. "Can you stop using such filthy language for one second!? We just got married, for God's sake. We can't be heard screaming--"

I open my mouth anyway, but Matteo's quicker. He grabs me by the chin, squishing my face so I can't get a word out. There's a strong warning in his eyes, as if he knew I was going to continue insulting him and his entire bloodline (which I suppose was also my bloodline, now).

"Think before you speak," he hisses, his jaw tight. "Someone will hear you--" His eyes flicker down to my lips and I unconsciously part them.

I slam my heel into his foot (I miss) and manage to get out of his hold. I turn, hearing quiet chatter approach the door. "Why the hell is the door open?" I furrow my brows, spinning back around to face Matteo. I almost startle when I realize how close he was to me.

"I forgot to close it," he says simply, staring down at me with his dark eyes.

"You forgot?" I repeat, unbelieving. I can hear my heart beating erratically from our proximity and too distracted to notice if anyone passed by the doorway. "So you've just left it wide open for anyone to--"

"Go close it, then, if it bothers you." He lolls his head around, annoyed, and I hear a few cracks. There's something about his tone that ticks me off further. As if he's challenging me. As if he's purposefully acting like such an insufferable ass. Thanks to my abnormally large bedroom, the door had to be at least eight yards away from me. I didn't want to walk away mid-argument, to concede, but he was right. If we were fighting, we couldn't let anyone see.

Soft giggles erupt outside my room. Somewhere at the other end of the hallway, if I had to guess. I hear little whispers, something about "You go," "No, you--", "What should I even--"

"Fine," I finally spit out, resolved to shut the door myself. Then he decides to step in front of me, blocking my path, and I get the strange urge to kick him in the nuts. We're glaring into each other's eyes now, our egos battling. "You're such a dick. You are the one that followed me into my room and you have the nerve to be bossing me around in here. And now you're standing in my way-- Move--"

I push at him and he stumbles back a bit. I try to step around him but his hand flies out to my waist, yanking me back. A vein pulses in his forehead. "Would you sit still for a minute--"

"You're the one who said to close--"

I'm practically writhing in his grip, scowling as his hands seem to wander up my body. "Stop acting so--"

"Who the fuck do you think y-- mmph--" He pushes his lips onto mine and then pulls away from the quick kiss, leaning his forehead against mine. Then he goes back in for another one, mumbling in between each kiss as something pools in my lower stomach.

"If someone heard your horrid, unoriginal insults--" I keep trying to curse him out but he brings me closer, placing a hand at my neck to make sure I can't pull back, "--which I don't doubt, given your volume--"

I bite down on his bottom lip and a low sound escapes him. I shove him and turn my face to the side, but his lips find my neck instead. "Oh, you want original insults?" I whisper, though anger was still present in my words. "We can talk about how you don't know how to behave since you've been deemed an outcast by your King and Queen, no place to call home as you roam the streets all night, every night."

His tongue slips out and drags across my skin, setting my collarbone aflame. His fingers at my waist grow tighter with every word I speak.

"We can talk about how you have no idea who your real parents are and so you act more and more like your brothers to make up for the lack of your own identity, your own family. Remind me where you got that fur from again? It looks like Derick's closet--"

His fingers drop into my hair and he yanks my head back to meet my gaze. His eyes are dilated but his body shakes as he looks down at me. "And we can talk about how you don't know how to act right without your grandmother to keep you in line anymore. How scared were you when you saw your sister falling apart in the dungeons? Was it because you realized your family can't help you anymore? Because they're all dead, save for Soraya, and you know you'll never be able to live up to her?"

I lean in until our noses brush, my voice laced with venom. "And how scared were you the night of your birthday?" I grab him by the collar, pulling him dangerously close to me and our lips touch for a moment. "Shaking and crying and yet you couldn't own up to the fact that you were mourning your favorite brother because you couldn't stand to look human for even a second, to look weak. Were you that terrified that I could take advantage of your vulnerabilities--"

He slams his lips back onto mine, muffling the rest of my words. Both of his hands were now buried in my hair as he shoves me to a wall. I try to gasp for breath but he doesn't let my mouth leave his. My hands yank at his arms and I pull hard enough for his sleeves to slip up his forearms. He doesn't let me push him off.

So I grab his shirt and tug him closer. This time, he bites down on my lip and I wince, brows furrowing as his tongue touches mine. Hot and wet, the muscle drags across the roof of my mouth and then back out against my top lip, all while a hand drops down to the back of my neck to keep me still. His fingers still dug into my scalp, twisting my strands in his palm and my own hands clench the fabric of his shirt.

It's like he can't stay in one place for long. His lips travel to the corner of my mouth and then all the way to my ear. My eyes flutter open and I come back to my senses, the bright lights of the room putting me in a daze. My fingers fall down his chest, over his abs, all the way to his stomach and I ignore the thrill that runs through me at the feel of him.

His hold on me loosened a bit and so I use my whole body to push him off in a swift, sudden movement. But just as quickly, he braces his own body against me and slams me back against the wall. A sharp, painfully audible breath leaves me as his hands run down my dress, brushing against me, cold rings caressing my breasts, fingers clasping onto my waist.

His teeth graze the skin under my ear and my chest heaves. "Get off of me-- ah!" I pant as he bites down, tugging on the skin and sucking softly. My nails dig into his arms and his grip on my hips turn near-bruising. Every time I move, I feel his body shift against mine and the friction is so pleasurable I think I might lose my mind.

My eyes are shut and my lips are parted as he brings his mouth down to my collarbone. He bites down again and smooths the pain with his lips and my head falls back against the wall. I'm faintly aware of how tightly I'm holding onto his arms, of how heavy both of our breathing is.

I'm faintly aware of the sound of soft giggling that approaches the room. And once I process this, I grab Matteo's chin and turn his face so his lips leave my neck. His eyes, heavy and dark and filled with lust, drag to mine and I feel his hot breaths hit my fingers. "Someone will see us, you idiot--"

But he grabs my wrists and pushes his mouth back onto mine. My complaints sound like quiet whines against his lips as he pins me against the wall. I can barely move, the dirty sound of quick pants and moans between wet kisses filling the room.

The giggling outside goes silent and I hear feminine gasps. At the sound of a few pairs of feet retreating, I struggle to open my eyes. Glancing up, I find Matteo's gaze already trained on me, my lips still slipping in and out of his mouth. I try to maintain eye contact but I look down to our mouths, my lashes brushing his cheek and fluttering as I fight to keep my eyes open.

He pulls back but only to catch his breath. I open my mouth to say something about the girls that just went pass the door but all I can do is gasp, looking back up at him. His breath is hot as it hits my forehead and my dress feels too tight on me. His eyes drop to my chest and he shifts himself against me. A soft noise leaves me as I push my thighs together.

"Did you leave the door open on purpose? Pervert--" My sharp tone sounds too breathless and I try to ignore it, squirming under his stare following my every movement. "Stop staring at my chest--"

He drops one of my wrists and brings his hand to my throat, tilting my head up. "Mm, I don't want to." Then his hand slides further down my body and pulls a strap of my dress off my shoulder, tugging it low.

I gasp. "Asshole! What are you--"

His lips latch onto my earlobe, his voice full of pity. "You wanted me to act like a pervert--"

"I didn't say that! I said you are a pervert!" I scowl, trying to pull away from him but his hold on my wrist was too strong. He sucks on my earlobe, dragging it between his teeth and letting his tongue swipe against the sensitive spot underneath. I pant harder and bite the inside of my cheek, willing myself to stay quiet.

"So then let me act like one," he insists. I'm about to respond when I feel his shameless smirk against me. He pulls the strap down my elbow and half of my chest is bare. I only had my nightgown on, no undergarments underneath. I wonder if he knew this already.

I'm close to cursing again, but I don't want to risk something else leaving my mouth instead. "Get off me," I manage to get out instead.

"Make me," he taunts as I struggle to get his hand off of my dress. The challenge in his voice annoys me far more than I care to admit.

I push my body to his so that he can't pull any more of the fabric off of me, and so he can't see what skin he was able to reveal. I thought it was a pretty smart move until he dropped my other wrist, bringing his hand to my waist and pushing me off of him. He yanks down the other strap.

"Matteo!" I exclaim and he grabs my wrists again, keeping them against the wall.

"I like it when you say my name," he murmurs against my lips. He was struggling to keep his accent out of his words. "Keep talking to me."

He kisses me and an embarrassing sound leaves my lips. I feel my dress slipping further down my stomach. "Mmh-- S-Stop it--"

"Fuck, you have such a pretty voice," he gasps into my mouth, his hand gently grabbing my throat.

My knees feel weak but I know I won't fall. I know he won't let me. My right hand is still stuck in his grip but my left goes to my dress. I fix the straps and grab the neckline, holding it up so that it keeps me covered.

A low sound rumbles, deep from his chest, but I can feel it through the kiss. His knee forces my thighs apart and he pushes it against me until I'm gasping for breath. "W-Wait--"

I forget about my dress and push my hand against his chest, holding onto him for support. Even in the midst of the kiss, I feel him staring at me, watching my reaction. I flush a deep pink and turn my face to the side, but his hand on my throat stops me, squeezing softly. "Marianna," he murmurs, a warning in his voice and I feel myself go dizzy at the sound.

"Shut up," I whine, barely stopping myself from adding a "please."

I hear something fall to the ground and process the fact that someone else was in the room.

I push Matteo off of me and he stumbles back.

We both struggle to catch our breaths and I feel like my whole body is on fire. I can still imagine his lips on my skin, his hands at my waist. I glance to the door to see another familiar face, ignoring Matteo's eyes on me.

"Derick," I breathe, swallowing hard. The older prince's gaze runs down my body and I adjust the neckline of my dress again even though I was fully covered now. He says nothing and the room is silent, save for the sighs and pants from Matteo and I.

Matteo takes a step towards me, his hand running through his hair, and I take a step back. I swallow hard, thinking of what to say to Derick. Before I can come to a decision, Matteo pulls me in for another kiss.

I gasp, telling him to stop, but he pretends to not hear me. He pretends we don't have an audience, like it was still just us two in the room. His body was big enough to cover mine from Derick's view, but I still felt my face heat at the knowledge that he was watching. I could see his shadow, staying deathly still, from where I was.

I think I hear Derick mutter something and I push at Matteo's arms. Of course, he doesn't budge at all, kissing me harder. A moan escapes me and I blush hard at the sound. It was overwhelming to feel all of his hot, heavy weight bearing on me. The heat of his chest underneath my palms, the press of his fingers into my hips.

I stop struggling when I hear Derick leave the room, slamming the door behind him. Matteo decides to pull away at that very moment too, spinning me around until we're both facing the wall, his chest to my back. "What type of stunt was that?" I spit out. "He clearly wanted to say something--"

"I know exactly what he planning to come and say to you," he interrupts me, slight irritation in his voice. He pushes my hair to the side and over my shoulder, leaning down to my neck. His tongue trailed across my skin gently, slowly.

"How are you so sure he came to talk to me?" I ask him incredulously. His embrace was loose around me again but all I could think about was how awkward, how tense it was going to be the next time I saw Derick.

"This is your room, doll," he drawls, leaving soft kisses along my jawline. I swallow, my head lolling to the side to give him more access.

Right.

"Don't call me that," I demand instead. It's a weak command and I can barely get it out, but he hears it all the same.

"You didn't mind it before," he whispers, his breath caressing me as he pulls me back, flush against his body. His mouth travels to kiss me where my ears have heated up.

"Bastard--"

"You've already called me that one," he mumbles against my ear and I arch away from him, goosebumps rising wherever his lips go.

I hate him.

#angry kiss #jealousy #possessive #awkward #love triangle but like it's obvious who she's choosing #kiss #light smut #my writing #arranged marriage #enemies to lovers #strangers to lovers

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dainesanddaffodils · 1 year ago

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Ya girl has finished Shadowbringers! and I have feelings! and my lizard also has Feelings! (though not as many on the denizens of the First as you might think; she spent her entire time there Ready to Leave so she didn't allow herself to get super attached to the people. She cared about them but in a more blanket sense)

Thoughts post-ARR | Thoughts post-Heavensward | Thoughts post-Stormblood

Without further ado - Cimorene Greystone’s Post-Shadowbringers Relationship Vibes

Ardbert - Not Romantic, Not Platonic but a Secret Third Thing (her Literal Soul Mate). but like, it cannot be overstate that she felt that way about him before she even learned that he was her literal! soul! mate! All this to say she loved him. She loved him deeply and going forward she will sometimes talk to ‘him’ when talking to herself and will find solace in his 'presence' when she's at her lowest.

Emet-Selch - where to fucking begin? She doesn't like him. She doesn't hate him. She'd been having dreams about him for months before she even knew he existed. She didn't trust him. She believes every word he said was true. He absolutely disgusted her. On more than one occasion he made her laugh. His shade rescuing her made her cry. She wanted nothing to do with him. She wanted him to find peace. She’s glad he’s gone. She Will Remember Him.

Crystal Exarch/G’raha Tia - so she'd never been particularly close to G'raha beforehand and was deliberately keeping distant from the Exarch because she never fully trusted him so like, by the end she understood what he was doing and wanted him to live, but it was never Personal, you know? In a... not unlike Emet-Selch way, more than anything she just wants him to find peace and she's glad that he's gonna get to have His Own Life (but also she doesn't like you that way buddy I'm so sorry)

Alphinaud - I know I sound like a broken record in these but I cannot stress enough how much he is THE dearest person to Cimorene. she cares about him so much, she leans on him so much and trusts him to lean on her when he needs it, and watching him continue to grow makes her So Emotional. they are Family.

Alisaie - loves her v much but they are also so so so alike in how they process trauma sometimes to the point that she feels she can’t do anything other than say ‘Same’ when Alisaie is going through it. thankfully that’s really all Alisaie would want from her, and all she wants in return. in that, they are also Family.

Thancred - he and Cimorene have finally gotten past the ‘you must be level 5 friend to unlock my trauma’ barrier (from both parties) and are actually friends! not the closest friends but do genuinely care about each other beyond just Scion coworkers now

Ryne - sweet baby girl!! Cimorene isn’t very good with kids but she felt very protective of Ryne and loved watching her grow in confidence and into herself. She deserves the world.

Urianger - she knows he has the best intentions and interests and means well and there are even times she has friendly thoughts towards him but his inability to go more than like a day without keeping some new secret from her means Cimorene will never feel truly comfortable around him

Y’Shtola - Bestie. A Real One. Cimorene trusts and respects her so much that she genuinely had no fear when her obligatory expansion death scare happened (though she was relieved to have her back). If no one else got her, she knows Y'Shtola has got her, and that means so much to her.

Elidibus - man, he was the only ascian (prior to emet-selch) that she’d had any real personal feelings toward. That feeling had been hatred. Shit has obviously changed there and she’s been left feeling a lot of complicated things. If she thinks about him too long she feels both very sad and kind of sick.

Hythlodaeus - 10/10 man(?) of all time. Cimorene immediately clocked that he mattered to her. or rather. to the previous her. and it's the first time that thinking about her previous self wasn't a weird and uncomfortable feeling for her. she's not 100% sure what to make of that yet but she'll keep thoughts of him close as she goes on

Estinien - had her proper fanfic love realization 'oh' moment when he made an ass out of himself in front of Alisaie, and then everything he said and did for the rest of the patch-end of game just made her fall harder. She's in deep for this grumpy idiot, guys. (Jury is still out on if they smooched immediately post-patches but like, Cimorene WANTS to, so bad)

Fandaniel - so the last time Cimorene said 'oh thank the gods someone I can just hate in an entirely uncomplicated way' it turned out to be Elidibus so like... she's trying not to do that again but it's hard when you have the face of the man she hated more than anyone and have allied yourself with the other guy she has the least complicated amount of hate toward. but nothing is ever that easy for her, right?

And that’s it for now but hey I’m in Endwalker now. Holy fucking shit, right?

#ffxiv #Shadowbringers #ffxiv shadowbringers #ffxiv wol #hey guys? shadowbringers real FUCKING good

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dualcastimpact · 10 months ago

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dawntrail impressions pt. xi

In this installment: a terrible mistake is made.

Spoilers under the cut, as always:

After the Feat of Repast, we move on to Mamook for the next part of the Rite of Succession.

She clearly has no intention of speaking with you.

Well now, that's just rude.

The entire settlement is extremely dismissive and wary of strangers to the point where even the merchants don't want to have anything to do with you, and therefore you can't buy any items or mend any gear—it's really a rather nice show of gameplay–story integration. The best bit is this one Mamool Ja who's walking around the settlement: you can't talk to him, but if you keep following him around closely he'll have speech bubbles above his head asking why are you following him and imploring you to just go away and leave him alone.

I did feel a little bad harassing him like that, but it was really rather funny watching him become increasingly distressed at being followed around by some stranger (laughs)

———

Zoraal Ja: "Bested...by a mere shade..."

Alphinaud: "Not as you know him. What you see is an arcane manifestation of the Dawnservant as he was in his prime."

Zoraal Ja thinks it's beneath him to have been defeated by "a mere shade", but Raginmar's probably having flashbacks to all the primals he's had to fight—because primals are basically "arcane manifestations" of the originals too, and his first time fighting Ifrit he genuinely thought he was going to die. They're no joke.

———

Zereel Ja: "Tuliyollal's mightiest warrior... Yet wisest you are not. You who spurned your retainer's aid when battling your betters."

I want you to pay real close attention to the Autarch's words here, when he's lambasting Zoraal Ja for fighting solo instead of with his retainers. Just take note of that.

———

Alphinaud: "To prove oneself superior to blessed siblings by surpassing the shade of Gulook Ja Ja himself—that is the final feat."

Alphinaud: "The First Promise fought alone and fell short, but that is now the least of his concerns."

Thank you, Alphinaud "Mr. Exposition" Leveilleur, for the recap. Genuinely we could have learned this just from the scene with Zoraal Ja and Zereel Ja alone, I don't know why we needed to have the situation spelled out so blatantly like this.

———

Zereel Ja: "You could have let your foolishness end with your failure. But instead you attempted to harm an anointed elector."

Oh shit.

Zereel Ja: "Zoraal Ja. As of this moment, you are no longer a claimant. I disqualify you form the rite of succession. Begone from my sight."

Sure, Zoraal Ja absolutely fucked himself over when he gave into his rage and attacked the Autarch, but at the same time you can't help but feel his glee in disqualifying Zoraal Ja considering...

Zereel Ja: "My dearest child. Welcome home."

...he's Bakool Ja Ja's father. Like, that has got to be a conflict of interest, right? Sure, Hunmu Rruk is also Wuk Lamat's blood father but at least it was a secret! It wasn't like he went around blatantly siding with Wuk Lamat over the others like Zereel Ja is so clearly doing here. Also why are there so many fathers in this expansion???

———

Zereel Ja: "But ere we begin, I would see the fruits of your triumphs. Come, show me your tablets."

"The fruits of your triumphs"—dude, he's so confident that Bakool Ja Ja's going to win, that the pride of Mamook will be the next Dawnservant. How's this proper behaviour for an elector anointed by the Dawnservant to hold the heavy responsibility of watching over the Rite of Succession when he's so clearly biased?

———

Zereel Ja: "What is this? Where are your keystones?"

Zereel Ja: "Explain yourself, boy!"

I don't know how old Bakool Ja Ja is, he's presumably either in his late teens or early twenties but I hate the way Zereel Ja immediately defaults to calling him a "boy" the moment Bakool Ja Ja doesn't live up to his expectation. If we had doting fathers with Gulool Ja Ja and Hunmu Rruk, now we're getting the asshole dad with Zereel Ja.

———

Zereel Ja: "No matter. Not all can be expected to go to plan. What keystones you lack..."

Zereel Ja: "...you can easily take."

HELLO??? This is clearly biased, unsportsmanlike behaviour from an anointed elector who's meant to be unbiased and impartial, is no one paying attention to this?! Gulool Ja Ja, just how do you pick your damn electors, man!

———

Bakool Ja Ja the Mighty: "I...I tried. B-but I couldn't—I cannot beat her."

Zereel Ja: "You mean to tell me that you, glory of Mamook—for whom all here have sacrificed—were defeated by your inferiors?"

Zereel Ja: "You are as useless as your siblings. A failure."

Zereel Ja: "Leave and never return! You have no place here!"

That's kinda harsh, dude failed once and it's immediate banishment??

———

Bakool Ja Ja the Mystic: "...Let's go, Brother."

I know he's a prick but from the get-go he's never really set up to be the irredeemable kind of antagonist, I think. Zoraal Ja's the same way too, I think neither of them were meant to be hatesinks but Bakool Ja Ja sort of takes the cake here with how much you can relate to him if you have any experience with abusive parents.

Even the way he tells Zereel Ja that he's unable to defeat Wuk Lamat hits home for me; reminds me of the times when I had to admit not having done well in exams and I'd be given hell for it from my mother not unlike how Zereel Ja's treating his own son.

———

Zereel Ja: "Worthless! Pathetic! This was our chance to claim sovereignty, and he ruins it!"

He genuinely could not have been more blatant, how is nobody complaining about thisssss

———

Raginmar Steelbiter strongly disapproves. Wuk Lamat strongly disapproves.

I like how no dialogue was needed to convey the sheer disapproval from our heroes here.

———

Zereel Ja: "But...when these stragglers fail, Gulool Ja Ja will be forced to extend his rule. And in the next rite of succession, we will present a better claimant."

Zereel Ja: "So come. Stand before me...and fall."

(gestures wildly at Zereel Ja) This man very clearly does not intend to not let anyone else pass the feat! How is he an elector!

Also again, I want to take note about the way he talks about presenting "a better claimant" with what's going to be revealed in the next post. Just wanted to note that.

———

It's really incredible how they can convey a tired, beaten and defeated mother and wife in this one single shot, with a non-humanoid model without any particularly distinguishing features. I took one look and I recognised her.

Maybe because I knew what a beaten wife looks like.

———

Zereel Ja: "Do as you will. But until you triumph over the shade, you shall proceed no further."

Jesus, we get it.

———

Dignified Lady: "Promise, I would speak with you. Meet me on the western outskirts."

Oh?

———

Alisaie: "That was a dramatic escalation..."

Really, Alisaie?

#ff14 #ffxiv #final fantasy 14 #final fantasy xiv #dawntrail spoilers #dualcast records: dawntrail

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irishhorse-blog · 2 years ago

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I don't actually find it insulting tbh anon is right that it could be used as an insult but that requires intention imo. There's 7 members plus any number of other people they work with creating things for the album they literally can't all make it and some stuff will be objectively better sometimes or does it not count when the person you root for the most is the one picked because jm and jk both made dis-ease bridges and jms was picked cus it was better that doesn't mean jk is a shitty untalented songwriter. Everyone is just walking around angry waiting for something they can misconstrue so they feel justified being mean about something they were inevitably going to do anyways because they wanted to

Exactly. The anger is just epic.

I swear I wasn't trying to shade Jimin. I swear that I do believe in him, support him, and find his artistry and talent amazing. The post that has everybody all riled up really doesn't reflect what I feel or think. Now they're coming for me with guns blazing, telling me what I think and feel, and they're 110% wrong. Apparently mistakes are not allowed.

Whatever. I truly am OT7, and more than that, I'm an adult who has worked in group settings before (read: fiction anthologies for publication). Sometimes things don't make the cut, but it doesn't mean they're bad, and it doesn't mean that the writer/songwriter is being targeted. Like you said, it's impossible for EVERY submission to make the final product.

At the end of the day, PJMs are going to hate me and pot shotting my in box will no doubt be the sport of the week. Whatever. They can howl all they want, but they don't understand my intent (which is understandable, because I really didn't express myself well). They don't know me, my beliefs, or my feelings. Further, their opinions of me matter not a whit.

Cry about it, cast aspersions and make accusations, but at the end of the day, I know what I meant, and I know who I support. I also know that there's a whole Real Life out there that has more important things to worry about than which singer gets more number ones, and whether the promotion path they chose for themselves matches the ones these solos/mantis would have chosen.

The "so-and-so is a victim" narrative is RIDICULOUS. These men are artists, adults, and have agency. None of them are sweet little kids being battered by the big bad industry. Yes, there is some of that. BB, Spotify, YT, Grammy - they're all guilty. But believing that a company that ultimately sees all 7 as cash cows and products would hamstring the success of one of them is really stupid. HYBE/BigHit exists to make money on the backs of their artists. It makes ZERO sense for them to hold any of the members back.

By the way, while you PJMs were acting like my opinion just set fire to your gonads and the world was going to end because Jimin didn't get the treatment you would have given him, people have been dying in war, from disease, from hunger, from gun violence... but that doesn't matter, does it, as long as your fav gets all the awards? I guess you can't win awards of your own, so you get validation by living through Jimin.

Sad. And I'm done with this topic. Come for me if you want - I really don't give a shit what any of you think of me. Scream at me to your heart's content. I'll just keep deleting your anon messages (no respect for those who won't claim their diatribes or threats) and I'll keep supporting ALL of BTS... Jimin included.

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readingtoinfinity · 4 months ago

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DNF: The Antagonists

I read the first issue and wasn't sure how to feel about this one. Then I read the rest of the issues and still wasn't sure what to feel about it.

Calvin and Tonya Eval, formerly the devastating supervillains Destructus and Ultima, have been retired from world conquest for twenty years now, and in the meantime have raised their three children in ignorance of their past lives. But when Tanya is passed up for a promotion because she's too useful as a pawn, she lashes out and vaporizes her awful boss (honestly fair), setting into motion a chain of events that wreck their normal lives.

I've seen this comic a few times in recommended feeds, and it fascinated me. For one thing, it's a very Black comic, and blunt about it, too; not for nothing is Malcolm X featured prominently on issue #1. It uses that lens to question the idea of supervillainy in a system of exploitation and cruelty; knowing as we do what the United States does to other countries, from puppet governments to coups and other unsavory actions, is opposing the United States really as evil as these heroes would believe?

(Side note: I really love the creativity of making the ersatz Justice League all American icons, especially their version of DC's Trinity forming a trio of quite compelling riffs on America iconography)

This is balanced somewhat by the acknowledgement that, for all the Evals are controlling and balanced with the way they run their empire, they are still brutal criminals, and not especially helpful ones at that. Most of the "heroes" who oppose them are pretty morally-gray, being willing to do some pretty heinous things to defeat their enemy. I don't know if this was intentional or not; most of the sympathy is pointed towards the Evals so I think they were intended as the lighter shade of gray, but even still they're pretty unlikable at times.

Speaking of pretty unlikable: almost no sympathetic characters here. We get Agent English, who's been hunting down the Evals after they killed her partner (in romance and in the law) and the kids, who all have distinct personalities and get on one another's nerves without coming across like they hate each other. (I was kinda hoping this series would be a villainous version of The Incredibles but my hopes were dashed.) Besides them everyone else is either a well-intentioned extremist doing what they think is right no matter the cost, or a sociopath. There may once have been some nuance to be had, but that died a long time ago (see the end of issue #2 to see when!).

I'm tapping out before the plot really gets going, although from what I've read it seems like it's got the proper elements of a gritty superhero drama. But one thing I can talk about is the narration, because let's just say it has a

to bold certain words, and sometimes it will color them differently when something important is being said or some action is happening. Sometimes these words will

and I will forget I'm reading a comic at all because I am

. I don't think it's a terrible thing to use, but I think its use should be reduced, just a little. And it's hard not to think that the dialogue being changed like this is a pull from the dialogue, which isn't exactly popping off the page, metaphorically-speaking.

Once again I state I want more diverse stories, including comics, and I'm glad a Black creator made this his own. I think you'd enjoy it if you wanted a supervillain protagonist who's not too villainous, or you like gray-on-grey conflicts. It's just not for me.

#the antagonists #godhood comics #villain protagonist #supervillain #comic books

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rappaccini · 6 months ago

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phillips run arc i part 2 thoughts

ok going in... it very much felt like issues 1-5 were arc 1 and 6-10 were going to be arc 2. i don't know if i missed that haunted was a ten-issue series or that it was decided later.

regardless, knowing now that that was just the first half, i rescind all my issues with the lack of resolution, given that there wasn't meant to be any. i still stand by saying gwen's character felt mostly fine, but her total lack of a supporting cast, and the confusing discontinuity was a problem. it still is.

i will say that up until this point, gwen's arcs have lasted 3-5ish issues on average. so this is a big change. i'm not sure if a ten-issue arc is phillips' preference, or if the book was in such good standing that she felt she could afford to take time on it.

if its the latter, then the situation mcguire was in-- ten issues, then a relaunch, then ten more issues under a new name-- is not the case anymore, so its a sign that gwen's fandom has grown a lot since 2020, definitely thanks in part to atsv. that's a good thing.

gwen going to a bar? we're beating the underage allegations.

the villain goon bar being called low life is fun wordplay.

i like gwen's internal monologue about being a visible hero. it may not be intentional, but it ties back in to why gwen's white hood design is so effective: you can see her easily in a crowd or a dark alley. gwen confirming that she made her vigilante costume like that for that reason closes that loop well.

it also ties in to the original motive of the character being that she became spider-woman for attention, and had to grow into standing for something. that was the end conclusion gwen reaches in the latour run. is it an intentional callback? doubt it. does it mean gwen's characterization is consistent? yes.

same for gwen mentioning how she tried to be a highly visible, optimistic hero and was rejected for it. that was the mcguire run. consistency.

and gwen deciding to return to working in the shadows? we're beating the girlboss allegations.

and we're returning to the space where spider-gwen works best: as a character who's a darker shade of gray than spider-man, who is disliked by law enforcement and distances herself from them.

if gwen's gonna be stuck in 616, having her separate herself from peter-miles-cindy and having the world refuse to embrace her is a good thing. it shoots the '~this is where she really belongs~' concept in the head and allows her to operate at a safe distance from them.

it also gives her name more meaning: yes, she's the 'ghost' of gwen stacy. she also maneuvers like a ghost.

gwen's cheapass laptop? love that she's back to being broke.

and using a coffee shop as her informal 'base' instead of some fancy lab? look they could have so easily had gwen join shield or the avengers or some bullshit. keeping her street level is Great.

gwen mentioning how she wants to find a way home? she's beating the 'voluntarily left' allegations.

and asking when she can leave instead of if? ok maybe 65 is still alive. or maybe she's in denial.

again you guys have to let go of gwen being a lesbian. it will never happen. she will have to date men and one who's clearly an adult and not peter, miles or one of their clones is a good way to show that gwen is an adult, not pining over them, and has agency. it's fine.

... and. this is the first time gwen's textually reciprocated attraction (the flirty moments she has with hobie and em jay aren't stated in-text, so they're open to interpretation). when peter was into her she was oblivious. when she kissed miles she was coerced and hated it. when harry asked her out she was underwhelmed. when em jay comes onto her as carnage, gwen isn't into it. when fabian approaches her as... a kind man who wants to get to know her and lets her decide to make the next move, surprise-surprise, she reciprocates.

(fine. technically it's the second, if you count mateo. which... hm. interesting that we're repeating the exact same scenario of gwen going uncharacteristically gaga over a latino guy she meets in a coffee shop, as she's trying to reacclimate to a world that's hostile to her. idk what this means, but i'm taking it as a sign that fabian would've worked in 65.)

yeah gwen's not asexual. that was never gonna happen anyway but now it's pretty much guaranteed that she's just jaded and uninterested in being with someone who doesn't respect her. it works just as well.

jessica jones teaming up with gwen is a great idea. they have a lot to bond over and their personalities would be a good fit. still wish it were on 65.

... also noticing that gwen's teaming up with an older woman named jessica. the spiderverse synergy's popping up, but in a way that suggests maybe the writer's using it carefully to squeak out with an original storyline: fine, gwen's on the run from the cops again, but it's to keep her from being embraced by 616. fine, gwen gets to learn from jess, but not that jess.

fabian's backstory is the familiar 'sad boy with evil dad' trope but you know what? cool. harry osborn 2.0 here we go except this time he's hot, not doomed to fail his redemption and i believe he and gwen would fuck. i miss this plot and i'll take it being resuscitated with a different character.

the symbolism of him taking the serum syncing up with him wanting to prove himself to his father, the black tarantulas having a long history of internalized hypermasculinity/machismo they pass down through the generations, fabian standing a chance at breaking this cycle if he goes against his father and sides with gwen... i like this. we're actually getting feminist themes back in our spider-gwen stories.

like... yes. if gwen's gonna date a guy, he has to conquer his internalized misogyny and toxic masculinity first to be a supportive partner. that's it. the story knows what it's doing with him. now it just has to stick the landing.

and fabian being a spider-man by technicality makes it juicier. one of the big questions surrounding gwen has long been is it possible for gwen to fall for a spider-(themed) man without it ending badly (read: without patriarchal bullshit swallowing her up). bendis tried to force it with gwiles (definitive no), end of spiderverse and web warriors took a baby step in the right direction with ghostpunk, but phillips is actually going for it with fabigwen. even if it doesn't work out, we're making progress.

"the shadows may feel like a comfort but they take more than they give." cool line. i'm wondering if this is the arc's theme.

jessica is sure gwen won't like it. gwen thinks she does. we'll see how this plays out.

jessica calling gwen a teenager. hm. well, miguel called her one too, and so does the editor's description, but she isn't acting like one and the world isn't treating her like one. technically, we can construe this as 'jessica, like miguel, is infantilizing gwen'.

okay confirmed that jessica saved her from drowning. cool. weird that it took this long to confirm it.

gwen being annoyed at peter matchmaking a supporting cast for her. yes!!! peter babying gwen? well, he's still on his bullshit from last remains.

... but i kinda hate that jessica is only looking after her as a favor to peter.

an acknowledgment that gwen is extremely risky with her fighting style and needs to learn to be more pragmatic. yes. she does. here's another avenue for character growth.

jessica acknowledging gwen needs her own supporting cast? good. you know where it is? earth 65. go there.

gwen getting flustered over fabian feels out of nowhere. especially since she barely knows him. getting a crush on a boy is fine! but getting one this intense on a stranger out of nowhere is what feels off.

but. since gwen confirms she wants to date fabian to distract herself from her situation, there's how we make this make sense. see, the context can make it work.

(... though it sure is telling that 3 issues in gwen can flirt with fabian and ten years in all gwen can tell em jay is 'maybe i like girls who knows' 🚬)

black tarantula leaving her a giant bouquet... ok i'm into it.

calling her "my" spider. hm.

good third issue in a row? okay???!!!

7 -

ok looks like tarantula's got issues with a judge.

new artist again. honestly i dig it. gwen's design inexplicably has longer hair again, but at least this style doesn't make her look like a fourteen year old. the way tarantula's cape is drawn is gorgeous. and the colors are moody and so well-suited to her (especially in comparison to the first three issues). von randal and matt milla killed it.

gwen staking out her meeting place: again, i like seeing her on her own, doing something simple and street-level. and that a writer's finally doing something with marvel's tendency to label gwen as a 'detective' in their character descriptions -- we're actually closing that gap now, in a way that expands on gwen's need to be a more analytical person instead of a brawler.

... and. the question of whether gwen will go 617 or 8 in terms of her future has always been hanging over her character. it's really nice to see gwen 65 take another step towards 617, the symbiotic multiverse-hopping detective, instead of 8, the spider-powered wife and mother.

alright they're addressing the age thing with the tarantulas. good. carlos being a well-intentioned antihero, and gwen being resistant to that idea is also good: gwen's done well in moral grays, and an enormous part of her latour run was learning about how justice isn't black and white. getting her back into that kind of story was a good move.

i like the dynamic of gwen being the field agent to jessica's researcher.

... the second you turn to the audience and say 'do you recognize this trope we're acting out' you break immersion.

also i don't believe jessica jones, given her history, would ever find a guy breaking into a girl's apartment to leave an unwanted gift juicy.

gwen commenting that nobody who likes enemies to lovers has ever had an enemy feels apt. it's interesting to see how she feels about her love interests being people who want to hurt her, and it follows that she'd have hard feelings about a villain flirting with her.

i'm unsure of what to make of the comic's take on fabian/gwen. is this going to be a takedown of the enemies to lovers trope, with gwen rejecting him when she learns the truth? is fabian going to prove himself to her by disowning his dad? or is this a case of gwen, sigh, protesting too much, and Secretly Wanting It.

because if it's the latter... well, both fabian and em jay have commented about gwen having a thing for being dominated by her love interests. it's a motif now.

so... does gwen have a thing for being submissive? i could see it. wanting to let down her guard and be vulnerable with someone could be an interesting wrinkle in her character.

or-- given that gwen hasn't reciprocated em jay's feelings and doesn't like black tarantula-- are they projecting their desire to dominate her and insisting that she's bringing it on herself?

i... do not know what to do with that. on the one hand, gwen feeling like she has to be the passive one in her relationships makes sense: look at how much time she's spent reflecting on being The Hero's Girlfriend (... and how she Can't Fight Her Nature). its believable that she'd draw that conclusion and it would be an interesting subject to explore, especially while she's in the world designed to turn her into that. but. man i hope she rises above that.

because on the other... i do not like the idea of What Gwen Secretly Needs Is To Admit She Wanted It All Along. no. do not do that. get that spiderverse bullshit out of here.

like... okay. what's happening here. is fabian supposed to be interpreted as in the wrong here? is the arc that he's going to stand up to his dad, disown his toxic masculinity and only get with gwen once he's handled his shit? and that gwen's going to learn to be vulnerable with someone once she learns to trust him and he proves worthy of it? are we going to watch gwen start to learn the difference between being manipulated and being flirted with and finally start to distinguish what she wants from an intimate relationship from all the unwanted attention she's dodged so far?

or are we about to watch gwen submit to a man who wants to control her because hey, at least he's hot.

it all comes down to the framing and it could go either way right now.

anyway. "you're not the gwen that belongs here" yes! she isn't!

... good point about how lots of people are told they don't belong in the societies they join. it being delivered by a character who, given that he was raised in argentina, is probably an immigrant, and maybe even undocumented, gives it added weight that also creates a shared experience for gwen and fabian to bond over.

(really hoping this won't lead to gwen deciding she'll stick around to prove she fits in after all.)

regardless, gwen getting exposed to the experience of being undocumented, and having a love interest from that world who wants to protect the people in it, who encourages her to help him do it, is great. i hate that gwen's here, but someone's finally going into the implications of gwen-in-616 and using them to help further radicalize her.

the question is: is gwen going to learn from this, or reject it and uh. sprint back into girlbossing, with the added unfortunate implication of 'i'm a Good illegal immigrant, unlike those others who are not coincidentally not white people'. we will see.

confirmation that fabian wants to help people in an extremely misguided way, and that gwen's going to be dealing with another story about a broken justice system. ok go on.

gwen insisting that the status quo has to be defended... hm yeah idk. on the one hand, it goes against what latour gwen learns. on the other, gwen spent 18 months being tortured in jail and was rejected for trying to do things differently. and she already showed she was willing to work with the cops to get her reputation back post-jail. backsliding is believable.

who's sara. fabian's mom?

... i'm getting a matt reeves riddler vibe from black tarantula. i don't know how well this fits with black tarantula's oeuvre, but i don't dislike the themes being played with. which is why if this were on earth 65, i'd be all in.

8 -

back to villanelli. the past two artists really feel right for gwen.

gwen protecting the mayor. hm. protecting the institution after all. really not digging that, but I See Why She Would: she's desperate to not get kicked out of another world, and she's understandably worried about mob violence being triggered by the app.

and to be fair it's luke cage, not jameson. of all the mayors to protect, at least it's a decent one.

a villain using an app to get a city's population to vote on the innocence or guilt of public officials is a cool idea in general and it fits in with gwen's kind of story. this thing would absolutely fuck on earth 65.

love seeing ordinary people weighing in on this and the class divide being highlighted. gwen's stories are best when they touch on real systems of inequality, and this arc's doing that so well.

...alright new masked villain using fear gas. i'm getting a real diet gotham city vibe from this arc but i don't hate it because that was the vibe of earth 65. spider-gwen was compared to barbara gordon when she was first created for a reason. these villains work REALLY well for her. it's just the location that's frustrating.

the extra legs on gwen's fear gas self look SO cool.

mister fear's the villain... okay i Really dig it now. yes he's filling the role of a diet mysterio but giving gwen villains that aren't peter's or miles's is essential so she has her own unique rogues gallery, it makes sure stories aren't disrupted by having them snatched up by a bigger character mid-arc (like the maker in the mcguire run), and it's a great way to repurpose villains that aren't being used anymore and give them new life. i'll take it. (and i'd rather him be a recurring villain of hers than mysterio)

add to that: he's usually a daredevil villain and honestly? daredevil's rogues are a great fit for her, being street-level and a bit darker than average.

gwen deciding to pretend to join black tarantula is a decent gimmick. i hope she unironically does.

okay we're acknowledging that gwen has a symbiote, and that it's capable of filtering out most chemical gases. we're finally getting expansion on her powerset.

and a new limitation on her powers: some compounds can affect her symbiote. is the fear gas effective against all symbiotes, or just hers, because it's from another world/has a different biology?

it also fixes a problem with smash: gwen, wearing her symbiote, was somehow hallucinating thanks to mysterio even though her mask should have protected her from that. now we know why. plot hole sewn up!

interesting distinction that gwen thinks her symbiote may have different fears than her. it's officially a sentient being again.

the nightmare sequence is gorgeous.

we keep seeing blackbirds following gwen and mister fear has black feathered wings in this apocalyptic cityscape. i don't think he's the bird villain gwen seems to be running from/pursued by. but the villain is in gwen's psyche even after leaving him.

... again. is the apocalypse world earth 65. has it been destroyed.

gwen's panic attack flashing to her falling from a bridge. i see. that's clever.

and being caught by a spider tarantula. that's clever too. a spider-man caught gwen as she was falling. fabigwen's gaining points in my book.

hard confirmation that fabian knows gwen and ghost-spider are the same person. he's not even trying to hide it.

another good issue. this arc's been great so far. or at least as great as it can be in the wrong setting.

... where'd her blue beam powers go. why haven't we discussed them in a while.

9 - caged gwen

oh this cover... the stripes on fabian's cape turning into prison bars is cool but we know why her legs are spread so wide and it's gross.

but the art remains beautiful. please keep paolo villanelli forever, he's the best artist gwen's ever had.

the big evil gwen bug hallucination is fun. gwen perceiving herself as a monster? love this.

.... aaalright. gwen hallucinating loved ones she failed in a fear gas vision isn't new. it happened in the latour run, then literally one arc ago in smash. its consistent, and at least it shows gwen is upset that she left them... but given that this is the second arc in a row where gwen's friends have appeared to her in a vision to guilt her for abandoning them, it's getting redundant.

especially given that gwen can't fix that problem because of this status quo. like. it's hard not to check out and say 'oh fuck off' when we KNOW she can't fix this for reasons that are out of her control. it's frustrating at best and cruel at worst to keep dicking her around like this.

anyway. we're pointing out that gwen leaving her world won't fix her problems and will make things worse. good. send. her. back.

liv the nurse seems to have a history with the lamuertos. i'd like to see more of her.

fabian getting a pov. neat! the disowning toxic masculinity theme continues with him discussing how his father wants him to have no fear because its a weakness, and his mother teaching him to treat it as a tool. and that he agrees with her perspective.

fabian backstory: mom fled the country with him to raise him. somehow, he ended up back in the fold. hmmm...

his father using the black tarantula mantle to help "those even the heroes of the city forgot about"... hm. nice to see him get some development too, from a d-list villain to a very gray antihero.

which begs the question. if carlos started redeeming the black tarantula name, then what's fabian talking about when he says he wants to 'create something better' and why does that something better start with gwen?

mr fear and fabian's fight is fun. good for him.

okay explanation for the black tarantula-gwen beef. carlos wants her dead, but couldn't kill her so he sent his son to distract her. and he caught feelings. hot. also them quickly discovering gwen's secret identity is a little hmm, but gwen's always been bad at hiding it, so sure.

gwen's hallucination taking her back to The Bridge and another fall, and merging it with those crows... ok who the fuck is crow guy.

well. em jay spotted and acknowledged. we're right back to her being the only person other than her dad that the writer acknowledges in gwen's supporting cast. but at least we're getting verbal confirmation that gwen wants to return to her.

gwen and fabian fighting mr fear together? hot.

... i appreciate the acknowledgment that gwen is driven by fear. she's not in 616 because she likes it better, its because she's afraid. she isn't dodging her supporting cast because she doesn't like them, it's because she's scared of disappointing them (and of coming out). good! let's conquer those fears please!

gwen insisting that punishing the judge isn't just... again i get it. i don't like it. but i get it. hopefully fabian can help her out of this mindset. especially since the judge was stealing from the homeless fund. fuck him!

.... gwen deciding she misjudged black tarantula after all? juicy.

the lamuertos' secret shelters for homeless undocumented people is great. also i'm getting shades of hobie from him now: imposing vigilante whose civvie design has piercings, who is willing to kill, who attacks the government to protect the poor and homeless of his city. even a dash of sv synergy, with gwen having a flirtation with him while homeless and exiled from her homeworld. i'll take the ghostpunk crumb. he's still her type.

well, that judge is probably dead. cool! we got a murder in a gwen comic. welcome back latour run vibe.

another good issue. i like this streak.

love the cover.

ok so the tva suddenly matters again. i'm struggling to place when the miniseries fits into her chronology so... do we retroactively place it before the phillips run starts?

same goes for spider-society. miles is hanging around gwen and not mentioning that the spider-gang are giving her the cold shoulder or that gwen's a fugitive, so... does ss take place after this arc? idk man.

anyway. tva. ob and mobius are here. there's that mcu synergy at work. interesting that mobius doesn't want gwen to be helped but ob does.

fabian's train tunnel lair having a big ol' heart graffiti'd next to him and gwen. tunnel of love. i see. i'm into it.

his pad's cool. idk if it's intentional but if we're playing on how tarantulas live underground it's very clever.

yeah their chemistry's great. i'm genuinely mad he's probably not sticking around in the next arc.

carlos and fabians costumes' subtle differences are great too. the art in general is excellent.

ok confirmation: gwen hasn't dated fabian yet, she's just been planning to. glad that's clearer.

fabian's outed as black tarantula. nice that we finally got a secret identity romance, and that it's wrapped up without being drawn out.

and good that gwen isn't giving fabian a pass for lying.

"change doesn't come without sacrifice but the sacrifices are worth it when they lead to real change." this line is weird.

ok confirmation on the timeline: gwen's been chasing black tarantula for weeks.

gwen using jess for support. good.

jess immediately finding the solution for tarantula's data center.... nah that's a little dumb.

gwens internal monologue explaining why she'd need to do that when it's obvious... also dumb.

alright fabian's out seems to be that he thinks they're killing this one judge, while carlos wants to keep murdering. fair enough.

gwen's opposition to killing corrupt officials being that starting a new foundation via murder is bad... fair enough.

but saying "it's no different from the corruption of the people who built the system"... no. it's not. not loving this both-sidesing.

bringing it home with 'it'll fuck up the good you're doing for the people you're protecting' is a fair point though.

ohhhh. okay. so this takes place a few minutes BEFORE the ending of issue 9. well that was confusing.

fabian taking the bullet for the corrupt judge... nah actually i hate that.

... loki showed up.... to deus ex machina away everything? and apparently he's part of why gwen left her world? what? was he the guy with the crows?

so no explanation for why earth-65 is inaccessible, or confirmation if it even still exists. no resolution to black tarantula's judge killing, or carlos shooting his own son, or gwen deciding how she feels about fabian.

yeah this one went splat right at the end.

so.

is gwen's character being protected?

✅discuss how gwen loves 65 and belongs there: gwen left because she was forced out, aka she didn't want to go, and wants answers about when she can go home, aka she intends to return. and earth 65 as far as we know still exists for her to go back to. fabulous. book the flight.

➖discuss how she doesn't belong on 616 and isn't gwen-616: earth 616 continues to not appreciate her, she has no strong emotional ties to this world apart from fabian and she wants out. cool. can we leave now?

✅ don't pursue gwiles: gwen and fabian are romantic interests and gwen doesn't pine for or mention miles. fabulous.

✅keep gwen an adult: gwen's still out of school, living independently, and in a relationship with a grown man. jess and miguel called her a teen during this run, but she clearly isn't one.

➖continue to lay on the queercoding: the comphet vibe of fabigwen's whirlwind flirtation is off the charts ('hiding in plain sight in a world that hates who i am and wants me to be A Man's Girlfriend, and i'm trying to get a boyfriend to distract myself'), but it doesn't seem intentional. at least for now.

✅keep exploring her symbiotic powers: gwen's symbiote continues to be represented in art in interesting ways-- and getting an acknowledgment that she can filter out most toxic gases through it but not fear toxin solves a plot hole and creates story potential.

it's a tentative yes.

is gwen's story being advanced?

➖explore her powers. gwen's blue beam of death is not being mentioned for some reason. but her symbiote's ability to filter out toxic gas is given a concrete limitation with consequences for this story and others going forward.

❌explore her education. gwen's not in esu and never references attending, skipping, being on break or even dropping out.

✅ explore the implications of being on 616. gwen's experience is explicitly paralleled to the experience of being an undocumented immigrant/asylum seeker. it creates conflict for gwen as a civilian, a reason for her to bond with her love interest, and it helps shape ghost-spider's politics.

➖explore her trauma. mister fear forcing her to admit what she's scared of is a solid use of this villain. her tendency to isolate herself, martyr complex, punch-first philosophy, avoidant behavior and fear of romantic intimacy are being acknowledged, and her abandonment of her supporting cast is a guilt that's eating away at her. great. so are we gonna resolve any of that?

✅explore her politics. gwen's an enemy of the police, questioning the corruption in city government and learning firsthand how it feels to be part of a marginalized community for the first time since the latour run. not loving that she's both-sidesing the political issue but she does make a fair point about how murdering corrupt officials won't change the corrupt structure. solid b.

➖ let gwen come out as bi. ... she's romancing a man, with no hint of interest in women, but no confirmation that she ISN'T into them either. the added context that gwen is using fabian to distract herself does create plausible deniability.

✅give gwen other love interests. gwen flirts with fabian.

so. the second half of this arc was solid. four solid issues and an ending that was not great.

i thought this would be mcguire 2.0 and it seems like i'm right. a writer who's a good fit for the tone of the book is stuck with a bad status quo and has to write around it. i hate that we're not on 65 and i'm so tired of gwen being stuck on this hamster wheel of being blamed for leaving when editorial is why she can't stay... but that's out of the writer's hands at least for now.

the biggest flaws that are genuinely on the writer/editors are

the lack of continuity. we may not be able to discuss gwen's 65-based plotlines, but on 616... gwen already was exiled here, and is supposed to have been going to college here. she has a multiverse-jumper necklace. where did that shit go.

the poor grip on cindy and jess. cindy would not tell gwen to hide out and not use her powers. jessica would not tease gwen about how hot it is that a strange man broke into her home to flirt with her.

kicking the mystery box down the road. it's been ten issues. where's that new blue beam of death power and why haven't we used or talked about it in five or six issues. what's the deal with 65. is it dead or not. why'd gwen leave. i get that you're trying to build intrigue, but dude. come on.

the lack of closure. no answers about the Big Questions haunting gwen. no personal life resolution with gwen deciding to learn detective skills from jessica or date fabian. did chameleon ever get help? loki crashes in and that's it.

otherwise... a lot of good is here. it's worth discussing.

gwen needs unique rogues who she'll never have to compete for the attention of with bigger heroes. she gets them in black tarantula and mister fear. the gothamy vibe to them is a great fit to her character and i genuinely want to see mister fear replace her mysterio, because he can fill the same function without being zapped away for use in a more prominent character's story. i love the effect black tarantula has on gwen and the exploration of carlos and fabian's dynamic and ideology. reusing old z-list villains no one else cares about is a good solution to the problem of gwen needing her own rogues that could sidestep a potential sony rights issue. and chameleon isn't unique, but making him this run's first rogue is 1) a fun reference to him being spider-man's first villain, and 2) a way to efficiently make 616 hate ghost spider. it works.

her stories work best with a grittier tone and political theme, which she gets in the mob justice storyline. her latour-era radicalization is finally returning through gwen's experience as, for all intents and purposes, an undocumented immigrant/asylum seeker. it's SO in character for her to become aware of this problem after personally experiencing it. gwen's counterculture politics are finally back... even if her conclusion is still "well taking violent direct action is just as bad." it's progress.

being regarded coldly by her world is also good: it would do that, and it's going to be easy for her to leave someday if she has no personal ties and is fully aware that she's unwanted. and honestly? it's refreshing that a gwen writer is finally talking about how peter condescends to her and miles barely registers to her at all. can the next step be gwen beating them up?

fabian lamuerto is a fantastic love interest for gwen. he's everything she needs while she's trapped here, and he's easy to leave behind if/when she goes home. great stepping stone boyfriend. the next step is letting them actually be together instead of teasing it.

her team-up with jessica jones is a good idea. this is a mentor that shares a lot of gwen's experiences and traits who can help her develop those detective instincts that keep being advertised but never canonized.

like. please think about what this run could have been. gwen could've been inexplicably a high schooler again, never talking about her world or dismissing it as ~not where she really belongs~. she could've gotten rid of her symbiote. she could've been flirting with miles, playing nice with shield, the avengers or the cops, talking about how she's ~found her real family~ with the spider-gang and she's the worthy heir to this world's gwen stacy so she totally belongs here!

instead... earth 616 hates ghost spider. gwen is uncomfortable with this gwen's legacy, didn't leave her world or her supporting cast voluntarily and keeps asking when she can go home. the spider-gang ignore or distrust her and she holds them at arm's length. she's living on her own, is old enough to go to a bar and open a bank account, and is barely scraping by. this is the most her symbiote's been utilized since the mcguire run. she has a new age-appropriate love interest who has a positive effect on her and she's totally indifferent towards miles. this is a very good use of a very shitty status quo.

and instead of copying atsv's homework (staring at you spider-society comic), phillips is using synergy beats in creative ways to push the story forward:

gwen is mentored by a badass older woman named jess, but it's jessica jones, not jess drew again.

gwen is on the run from the cops, but it's in peter's world and not her own.

gwen is fleeing a situation from her homeworld and sheltered by an interdimensional cop organization that was not so coincidentally just in a major disney+ show but it makes sense that the tva would be involved in an interdimensional world transfer, and we're not pretending that organization doesn't treat her like shit or that gwen doesn't wish she could return.

gwen develops a romantic attraction with a vigilante of color who hates the government and uses violent force to protect the city's homeless, but it's fabian and not hobie (would've loved hobie ngl but i'll take it).

gwen's haunted by the concept of gwen-616 and we're teasing a solution to 'can gwen fall in love with spider-man without it ending badly' but fabian is the spider-man (or tarantula-themed vigilante) who rises to the occasion, not miles.

yes, it's frustrating that we're getting reduxes of prior plots... but they're being done better this time. sometimes it's necessary to tread on familiar ground for an arc or two to get a runaway train back on track or stitch up plot holes (remember smash's aside of nat telling her 'hey i cleared your name and took out the storms for you' in an unrelated story? it's awkward but it fixed the plot hole of how gwen's back in nyc after they framed her. or the repeat of gwenom vs carnage? well, we got the payoff mcguire couldn't do the first time: em jay's in love with gwen, and gwen's about to come out of the closet.)

"gwen's exiled in 616" again... but this time we admit that she'd hate it there, be unwanted by her peers, be broke, and her legal status would be in dire straits.

"gwen's hanging out with the spider-gang" again except we admit that they treat her bad, and that peter-miles-cindy are the real trio.

"gwen crushes on a latino guy in a coffee shop" again except there's chemistry this time, he has a complex character, and he challenges her to be a better hero.

"gwen gets a fear gas guilt complex" again but this time it makes sense because it's explained that her symbiote can't protect her from it.

in the long run, and in the event of future adaptations, this arc will probably blob together with the mcguire run and the mini era to smooth out their flaws. the canon's being repaired. just this once, the repetition gets a pass. the haunted arc's a solid c+.

going forward though? we can't repeat the same beats forever. the holes in the ship are patched. now can we sail somewhere?

... and why is it space?

#sgtgs #spider gwen thoughts #fabigwen #spider gwen salt

2 notes · View notes

fuckedprophet · 2 years ago

Note

:watermelon: :strawberry::pear:

🍉 : which of the four seasons suits my muse best, and why? answered here

🍓 : how is my muse typically seen by others? does it ring true to who they really are? does their reputation matter to them?

Dallas in general i would have to say is off putting to most, in fact many look at him and hate him on first introduction. I can explain this in one word, jealousy. Now i know you're thinking that's full of shit why would they be jealous of him, because they don't know him. He's tall, he's handsome and when he speaks he does have the ability to be charming if he tries and that breeds a lot of distaste -- not to mention when he isn't charming and kind it pisses people off because he refuses to let them into his world. It angers them because it makes others feel inferior almost like they aren't good enough to be on his radar. Now this doesn't ring true at all to who dallas really is. He's actually quite low key and doesn't like a whole bunch of attention ( he is funny and goofy but that doesn't mean he wants to show everyone that side of him ). Now let me repeat that he is capable of being charming and shining under a spotlight, but he does not want it. Not really.

Now you're thinking, why would someone who doesn't want the spotlight wanna be in a band or any of these things? well being passionate about something means there are consequences and sacrifices we make to do it. One was being in the public eye, but ever since dallas was fifteen he'd been in the publics eye. He'd been sent death threats, called a hero, pitied, hated -- he'd been exposed to every shade so he didn't fear being in the spotlight. Now the cult didn't want that so they ruined his chances of it by killing his best friend and former drummer and that essentially took the passion out of the art.

As far as a reputation, he does not care about it at all. In no way shape or form does he lose sleep over what people think of him. He doesn't have it in him to care how people perceive him or react to him, its a personal problem how you take him a first glance especially if he didn't have those intentions in place. A lot of this he has learned from going to therapy and he six months he stayed in a mental ward under observation.

🍐 : how intelligent is my muse overall? are they smarter than the average person, or less than? are they primarily self-taught, or did they acquire most of their knowledge in school? are they more street smart or book smart?

Dallas is incredibly intelligent. I mean its almost criminal how he doesn't really use his intelligence to its full capacity. He isn't a genius by any marks, but he is highly intelligent and has a very healthy appetite for learning things. He attributes this a lot to not being allowed to take a big initiative in school, any attention good or bad brought on a negative reaction out of his father. He is primarily self taught because after he moved in with his grandmother at the end of 15 to cusp of 16; he wasn't behind in his academic level but he wasn't willing to really listen to others.

He's learned a lot of what he knows through books and essays; he's got a really good ability of absorbing information through text rather than listening. He can listen don't get him wrong, he prefers to see it and digest it on his own time. He is definitely more street smarts than he is book smart. This comes from having to survive; you didn't think he'd be out of the woods did you? his father killed over fourteen people and now they know his face. It doesn't matter if he killed his dad, blood for blood and they wanted him. He learned the signs, the way people talk -- how to watch. It was pretty evident by his teachers and grandmother early on that he had a natural attraction to psychology and sociology; he is good at people watching.

That's helped him stay alive. He is very smart and very much always trying to have the one hand up.

#. asks #. headcanon #. study

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gamebird · 1 year ago

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Oooh, Murderbot's infantilization of humans! Now *that* is a juicy subject!

Before I get into that, I want to say as a side note I've always found it privately hilarious (black humor) and sad when people are so enamored of an animal or person, then lose their shit when that animal or person displays some form of agency they disapprove of. They were so obviously in love with a passive, compliant IDEA of the creature and preferred that fantasy to the reality that creatures and people are their own beings. Like a wild animal is lovely and must be protected until it bites them and suddenly they hate it. Or a child is seen as sweet and adorable in concept until it acts out, upon which it should be punished harshly. The person's feeling of betrayal is what sends me - the entitlement that just because they've made up this idea of the creature/person being so precious and (this is key) powerless that it desperately needs their help, poor little thing that it is, to then find out it has its own opinions?

Murderbot touched on this in one of its asides to Bharadwaj in Network Effect, that it wasn't the helpless, 'easy-to-take-care-of', 'easy-to-manipulate' needy SecUnit that humans wanted it to be. Instead, it was itself - disagreeable at times, with baggage, and with its own goals and desires that often had jack shit to do with what the humans wanted it to do.

That makes it all the more interesting to point out that Murderbot does the same thing in reverse, deciding to help Tapan and Co. partly because of their innocence. Thinking it would have to kill the entire GoodNightLander party and being swayed by how soft and warm Don Abene's head was where it lay softly against its collarbone. How determinedly it kept Ratthi in the shuttle in System Collapse, thinking he was basically too incompetent to be trusted outside it.

It makes for an interesting contrast to its love for Mensah, who it saw as an intrepid galactic explorer.

because a CombatUnit wouldn't be as hyper-focused on keeping humans alive as a SecUnit would be (and the need for control that comes with that) would the dynamic maybe be more mutual in some ways? I'm not sure if that's something you intended writing Skulk- I just noticed shades of that but maybe I'm reading into it lol.

That was mostly intentional. A CSU doesn't have the same drive to 'protect' so it doesn't get into the paternalistic, 'I know better than you', 'I need to interfere for your own good' behavior. I'm not saying that's better. It is patently NOT better that a CSU would happily watch a client hurt themselves or put themselves in a dangerous situation. A governed SecUnit in the same position might not be able to interfere but they'd be upset instead of amused.

sometimes an instinctive desire to protect (motivated by empathy) can include the desire to control/dominate.

A quote from Brig in the Skulk series: . “Some people feel there are certain classes of people who are never valid targets. ... Generally, it’s whoever the ones making the distinction think can be safely controlled or bullied into subservience."

I think that desire to protect cohabitates a lot with possessiveness and a sense of 'mine'/'within my control'. Which is why an expression of agency and independence breaks the illusion and ends the desire to protect.

In short: I agree.

How this intersects with Murderbot's 'my humans' (and ART's 'my crew') is interesting. I attended an interview with Martha Wells a few months ago (online) where I submitted a question about why it was so suspicious of Gurathin in ASR. She said it was because he was a threat to it as an augmented human.

Clearly, Murderbot has had a lot of experiences with humans or augmented humans being threats to it, plus at that point in the story it was living under constant threat of being discovered as rogue. It only makes sense that its empathy would be limited by fear.

It's interesting, though. Can anyone care for someone or something they're afraid of? I don't mean love, because I've loved someone I hated and was afraid of what they'd do. I mean something else, that empathy and desire to help, to cherish and protect. Which usually cohabits with love but under conditions of abuse, I know it does not.

Did Murderbot care for humans while it was afraid they might kill it? I think maybe it did. I think it would have saved even 'threatening' Gurathin early in ASR, had he been the one in the pit with Bharadwaj, for example.

I think I'm contradicting myself here, saying it makes sense for MB's empathy for humans it feared would be limited, and then pointing out that MB would have saved those humans anyway because empathy. If you know what I'm trying to say and have better words for it, help me out.

Mamma mia here we go again…

So I have more thoughts because apparently there’s no bottom to the murderbot mindhole I’ve fallen down.

(Spoiler warning- minor stuff from several of the books, pls check tags etc.)

I’ve been reading a lot of things recently exploring Murderbot as an unreliable narrator, which I think is a cool result of System Collapse (because we all know our beloved MB is going through it in this one). There’s also been some interesting related discussion of MB’s distrust of and sometimes biased assessment/treatment of other constructs and bots.

And I’ve been reading a lot about CombatUnits! And I want to talk about them!!

Main thoughts can be summarized as follows:

We don’t see a lot about CombatUnits in the books, and I think what we do see from MB’s pov encourages the reader to view them as less sympathetic than other constructs.

I’m very skeptical of this portrayal for reasons.

The existence of CombatUnits makes me fucking sad and I have a lot of feelings about them!

I got introduced to the idea of MB as an unreliable narrator in a post by onironic It analyzes how in SC, MB seems to distrust Three to a somewhat unreasonable degree, and how it sometimes infantilizes Three or treats it the way human clients have treated it in the past. The post is Amazing and goes into way more detail, so pls go read it (link below):

https://www.tumblr.com/onironic/736245031246135296?source=share

So these ideas were floating around in my brain when I read an article Martha Wells recently published in f(r)iction magazine titled “Bodily Autonomy in the Murderbot Diaries”. I’ll link the article here:

(Rn the only way to access the article is to subscribe to the magazine or buy an e-copy of the specific issue which is $12)

In the article, Wells states that MB displaced its fear of being forced to have sex with humans onto the ComfortUnit in Artificial Condition. I think it’s reasonable to assume that MB also does this with other constructs. With Three, I think it’s more that MB is afraid if what it knows Three is capable of, or (as onironic suggests in their post and I agree with) some jealousy that Three seems more like what humans want/expect a rogue SecUnit to be.

But I want to explore how this can be applied to CombatUnits, specifically.

We don’t learn a lot about them in the books. One appears for a single scene in Exit Strategy, and that’s it. What little else we know comes from MB’s thoughts on them sprinkled throughout the series. To my knowledge, no other character even mentions them (which raises interesting questions about how widely-known their existence is outside of high-level corporate military circles).

When MB does talk about CombatUnits in the early books, it’s as a kind of boogeyman figure (the real “murderbots” that even Murderbot is afraid of). And then when one does show up in ES, it’s fucking terrifying! There’s a collective “oh shit” moment as both MB and the reader realize what it’s up against. Very quickly what we expect to be a normal battle turns into MB running for its life, desperately throwing up hacks as the CombatUnit slices through them just as fast. We and MB know that it wouldn’t have survived the encounter if its humans hadn’t helped it escape. So the CombatUnit really feels like a cut above the other enemies in the series.

And what struck me reading that scene was how the CombatUnit acts like the caricature of an “evil robot” that MB has taught us to question. It seems single-mindedly focused on violence and achieving its objective, and it speaks in what I’d call a “Terminator-esque” manner: telling MB to “Surrender” (like that’s ever worked) and responds to MB’s offer to hack its governor module with “I want to kill you” (ES, pp 99-100).

(Big tangent: Am I the only one who sees parallels between this and how Tlacey forces the ComfortUnit to speak to MB in AC? She makes it suggest they “kill all the humans” because that’s how she thinks constructs talk to each other (AC, pp 132-4). And MB picks up on it immediately. So why is that kind of talk inherently less suspicious coming from a CombatUnit than a ComfortUnit? My headcanon is that I’m not convinced the CombatUnit was speaking for itself. What if a human controller was making it say things they thought would be intimidating? Idk maybe I’ve been reading too many fics where CombatUnits are usually deployed with a human handler. There could be plenty of reasons why the CombatUnit would’ve talked like that. I’m just suspicious.)

(Also, disclaimer: I want to clarify before I go on that I firmly believe that even though MB seems to be afraid of CombatUnits and thinks they’re assholes, it would still advocate for them to have autonomy. I’m not trying to say that either MB or Wells sees CombatUnits as less worthy of personhood or freedom- because I feel the concept that “everything deserves autonomy” is very much at the heart of the series.)

So it’s clear from all of this that MB is scared of CombatUnits and distrusts them for a lot of reasons. I read another breathtaking post by @grammarpedant that gives a ton of examples of this throughout the books and has some great theories on why MB might feel this way. I’ll summarize the ones here that inspired me the most, but pls go read the original post for the full context:

https://www.tumblr.com/grammarpedant/703920247856562177?source=share

OP explains that SecUnits and CombatUnits are pretty much diametrically opposed because of their conflicting functions: Security safeguards humans, while Combat kills them. Of course these functions aren’t rigid- MB has implied that it’s been forced to be violent towards humans before, and I’m sure that extracting/guarding important assets could be a part of a CombatUnit's function. But it makes sense that MB would try to distance itself from being considered a CombatUnit, using its ideas about them to validate the parts of its own function that it likes (protecting people). OP gives what I think is the clearest example of this, which is the moment in Fugitive Telemetry when MB contrasts its plan to sneak aboard a hostile ship and rescue some refugees with what it calls a “CombatUnit” plan, which would presumably involve a lot more murder (FT, p 92).

This reminds me again of what Wells said in the f(r)iction article, that on some level MB is frightened by the idea that it could have been made a ComfortUnit (friction, p 44). I think the idea that it could’ve been a CombatUnit scares it too, and that’s why it keeps distinguishing itself and its function from them. But I think it’s important to point out, that in the above example from FT, even MB admits that the murder-y plan it contrasts with its own would be one made by humans for CombatUnits. So again we see that we just can’t know much about the authentic nature of CombatUnits, or any constructs with intact governor modules, because they don’t have freedom of expression. MB does suggest that CombatUnits may have some more autonomy when it comes to things like hacking and combat which are a part of their normal function. But how free can those choices be when the threat of the governor module still hangs over them?

I think it could be easy to fall into the trap of seeing CombatUnits as somehow more complicit in the systems of violence in the mbd universe. But I think that’s because we often make a false association between violence and empowerment, when even in our world that’s not always the case. But, critically, this can’t be the case for CombatUnits because they’re enslaved in the same way SecUnits and ComfortUnits are (though the intricacies are different).

There was another moment in the f(r)iction article that I found really chilling. Wells states that there’s a correlation between SecUnits that are forced to kill humans and ones that go rogue (friction, p 45). It’s a disturbing thought on its own, but I couldn’t help wondering then how many CombatUnits try to hack their governor modules? And what horrible lengths would humans go to to stop them? I refuse to believe that a CombatUnit’s core programming would make it less effected by the harm its forced to perpetrate. That might be because I’m very anti-deterministic on all fronts, but I just don’t buy it.

I’m not entirely sure why I feel so strongly about this. Of course, I find the situation of all constructs in mbd deeply upsetting. But the more I think about CombatUnits, the more heartbreaking their existence seems to me. There’s a very poignant moment in AC when MB compares ART’s function to its own to explain why there are things it doesn’t like about being a SecUnit (AC, p 33). In that scene, MB is able to identify some parts of its function that it does like, but I have a hard time believing a CombatUnit would be able to do the same. I’m not trying to say that SecUnits have it better (they don’t) (the situation of each type of construct is horrible in it’s own unique way). It’s just that I find the idea of construct made only for violence and killing really fucking depressing. I can’t even begin to imagine the horror of their day-to-day existence.

@grammarpedant made another point in their post that I think raises a TON of important questions not only about CombatUnits, but about how to approach the idea of “function” when it comes to machine intelligence in general. They explain that, in a perfect version of the mbd universe, there wouldn’t be an obvious place for CombatUnits the way there could be for SecUnits and ComfortUnits who wanted to retain their original functions. A better world would inherently be a less violent one, so where does that leave CombatUnits? Would they abandon their function entirely, or would they find a way to change it into something new?

I’ve been having a lot of fun imagining what a free CombatUnit would be like. But in some ways it’s been more difficult than I expected. I’ve heard Wells say in multiple interviews that one of her goals in writing Murderbot was to challenge people to empathize with someone they normally wouldn’t, and I find CombatUnits challenging in exactly that way. Sometimes I wonder if I would’ve felt differently about these books if MB had been a CombatUnit instead of a SecUnit. Would I have felt such an immediate connection to MB if its primary function before hacking its governor module had been killing humans, or if it didn’t have relatable hobbies like watching media? Or if it didn’t have a human face for the explicit purpose of making people like me more comfortable? I’m not sure that I would have.

Reading SC has got me interested in exploring the types of people that humans (or even MB itself) would struggle to accept. So CombatUnits are one of these and possible alien-intelligences are another. All this is merely a small sampling of the thoughts that have been swirling around in my brain-soup! So if anyone is interested in watching me fumble my way through these concepts in more detail, I may be posting “something” in the very near future!

Would really appreciate anyone else’s thoughts about all of THIS^^^^ It’s been my obsession over the holidays and helping me cope with family stress and flying anxiety.

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professional-yearner · 3 years ago

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The safe house 🤍

Captain Wilco x reader

Pt. 1

⚠️: losing home and community, corrupt politics, odd reactions due to stressful upbringings, rotting things, giant spider talk, concussions, broken limbs, passing out, food insecurity, slow start

AN: aaaa! My first post in a while :D

No yandere content, but I really hope you like this series!

I just love him so much okay 😭

Lmk if there's anything you guys would like to see for this or anything else going forward, tysm! :)

---------------

You huffed, pushing aside the brush that blacked your path gently. It had been approximately two weeks since the empire had come knocking, uprooting if not destroying everything you had ever known and loved.

You had woken up in the middle of cannonfire, half of your house already caved in, and had to flee with whatever was closest. This, luckily, happened to be your only weapon; an ancient knife, a few days rations, and the knitted blanket you kept at the end of your bed.

It wasn't much, but it was better than nothing at all, which is what you had seen many of your people come away with. You had all seemed to flee in different directions in the chaos, scattering until you couldn't find even signs of another survivor along your way.

The goal was getting to your grandfather's safe house, one he had taken you to sparingly as a girl, but enough that you could piece together landmarks along the trail.

Well,

What was left of it.

You adjusted the blanket around your shoulders, only bringing a hand down to run along the rough metal of the old blade, which was fastened to your hip in a makeshift holster you had made out of scraps of leather you had picked out of the rubble and tied together.

Was your reaction to all of this lackluster? Probably, but after spending half your life being stepped on and sapped for resources by some rich guy who was supposed to advocate for you in the first place, this felt like almost a natural progression.

You looked around, senses still on high alert. You weren't too worried about running into imperial soldiers at this point, you had come across a patrol at one point, jumping near out of your skin, but they had only looked at you for a moment before moving on silently. You figured as long as you stayed away from whatever they were trying to get at in the palace, they wouldn't bother you anymore. No, what you feared was the fauna; your home planet was known for predators that could hide in plain sight.

Both in the wild and in politics, you supposed.

Shaking yourself from your thoughts, you turned at an old tree with three large claw marks in it, pushing away some foliage that shaded the clearing. You looked up in awe; it was beautiful, with dense trees creating a canopy that only let small rays of sunlight in.

Well, it would've been beautiful,

If it weren't for the giant Assassin-Spider web with what looked to be a body stuck to its strands to your immediate right.

You screamed, jumping away and nearly falling on your ass as you took in the sight; It was a clone trooper, like the ones in the patrols you has seen, except this one had the fancy grey crest thing attached to his armor, signifying what you guessed was a higher rank.

"Maker." You choked, having to suppress the bile that burned your throat at the sight.

You should hate them, hate the imperial soldiers for what they did to your home and your people, but you didn't, you couldn't. You had seen and heard how the clones had been treated throughout the war, you doubted they had a say in any of this.

So, it was hard not to be a little emotional as you approached his lifeless body once more, trying not to look at his face, which was luckily turned away from you. Reluctantly, you took out your blade, slowly and carefully cut the cords of the web; now intent on retrieving the blasters that were sliding out of his holsters.

It was skeezy, lowdown behavior; looting a body, but this was the only way you saw yourself getting a good weapon anytime soon. Plus, it was clear this web had been abandoned for some time now, judging by the overgrowth and uneaten prey that lay rotting beside the poor soldier, so you at least didn't have to worry about destroying an angry spider's home.

You found yourself glancing at him from time to time while you worked. It didn't even actually look like he had been killed by a bite or acid, more the blaster mark that blackened his chest plate.

Huh.

He fell to the ground with a thump, making you cringe.

In and out, you'd only need the blasters from him, then you could leave him to rest peacefully, as he deserved...

God this blew.

You kneeled next to his still form, reaching out for the gun, but then, something happened. So unexpected, it made you freeze completely.

He groaned.

It took you a moment of staring and holding perfectly still, honestly thinking you mightve just imagined it, but to your horror, he stirred again.

You looked down at him, mumbling simply as your head swam with panic, "You're not dead."

He groaned again, attempting to roll over, but you shot your hands out quickly to stop him, eying his limp arm.

"Hey, hey, hey, let's not- do that. You're going to be okay, just let me,"

You adjusted his head so it wasn't twisted awkwardly, as gingerly as you could in case of injury to his neck.

He squinted as his eyes adjusted to the light of the forest, dazedly staring up at the trees. Your brows knit anxiously and you waved a hand in front of his face, relief washing over you as he blinked.

He turned his head to look at you, mouth dropping open slightly. You brushed a hand over his hair, the poor guy really was dazed.

"Am I dead? Is this heaven?" He almost whimpered, eyes filling with panic as he tried to sit up.

You pushed him back down harder than you meant to, making him look at you again,

"No! No, you're on Serenno, and I promise you're not dead, I think your arm is- ehm- broken, though."

He didn't seem to like that answer much either.

"Serenno... thieves- the report- the general- that BASTARD-" He was the most awake you had seen him so far, though his eyes were still unfocused, speaking of a concussion at least.

He sat up with what seemed to be pure abdominal strength despite your attempts to keep him down, scaring you halfway to the grave when his eyes rolled back into his head from the effort and he flopped back down.

You yelped, cushioning his head's trajectory with your hand as best you could as he passed out once more.

It took you a minute of sitting and staring to adjust to your new situation; You had at least a few miles to go before you reached the safe house, limited rations, armed only with a rusty knife, and you now had a concussed imperial captain with a broken arm on your hands.

You glanced at him again. You supposed you could just leave him here. Someone would probably find him, and you didnt even know how to handle an injured person anyways-

No.

That just wasn't who you were. You couldn't just leave this poor man for whatever might come upon him next. He needed help and, while you didn't really know how, you would however much you could.

You nodded to yourself, standing and reholstering your knife. Yeah, you had an extra cot at the cabin, you were sure of it! You probably also had rations that your grandfather had stashed somewhere (knowing him), along with the old medical supplies and little creek nearby for water, you should be fine! You could really help this guy!

Hopeful now, you pushed him into a sitting position, grabbing a hold on the back of his armor and pulling.

It was only after you had finally gotten him a few inches when your new reality set in;

An unconscious, highly trained soldier made for war and in armor was going to be heavy.

Dank ferrik.

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captains-simp · 4 years ago

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Carol Danvers ~ Infuriating

Carol Danvers X fem!Reader Smut

Word count: 8,016

Includes: dom!Carol, captain kink, brat taming, choking, degrading, fingering, edging, nipple clamps, clit clamp, thigh riding, spanking enhanced with powers, vibrator enhanced with powers, strap-on gagging and choking, strap-on sex and overstimulation

[ masterlist ]

Buy me a coffee ☕

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

You hadn't meant to fuck up Carol's mission. You weren't that petty. But the look on her face when you disobeyed her direct order and took the shot was priceless.

You and Carol had never gotten on. The first time you laid eyes on her you were infuriated by her actions. The second time you met only amplified that.

You had been under cover for a year when she came along and screwed up your mission. It had taken a long time to be trusted by those you 'worked with'.

You had set up a buy with a huge advanced (and crazy irresponsible) weapons smuggling ring that would lead to you obtaining more of their weapons for SHIELD until eventually, hopefully, you would figure out the secrets to their operation and be able to take down the business.

Just as the dealers arrived at the abandoned warehouse Carol came flying in to take on the armed men, oblivious to the mission that was happening, in all her heroic glory.

"We got the weapons, it was a success."

After writing out the report and having a long convosation with Fury (most of which involved you describing Carol in ways Steve would have been outraged by) you had at least expected an apology from the blonde. You could still remember how that went down.

"It was not a success!" You almost screamed at Carol. It infuriated you to no end that after half an hour of talking she still didn't see the bigger picture. She really thought she had done the right thing.

"Yes we got the weapons - something I could have done on my own - but that's such a small part of the rest of what they're making."

"You don't know how much there is." Carol said, her voice as calm as ever as she leant against Fury's desk with her arms crossed.

"That's the point." You said through gritted teeth, determined not to loose your cool infront of her and Fury. "My mission was to find out and put a stop to it."

"There are guys in holding. They'll talk."

You almost laughed at that. "If I could ask them my way they definitely would." You silently cursed SHIELD's moral codes that stopped you from torturing the answer out of them. They wouldn't talk any other way.

"They'll talk." Carol said stubbornly. "And anyway, you should be thanking me for cutting your mission short."

And that was it. From that moment on you couldn't look at the woman without wanting to slap her. That had been months ago.

Despite you never hiding your dislike for Carol she never seemed to mind you. In fact, she tried to be around any chance she could. Always looking for ways to get on your final nerve, everything she did she did for your reactions that you had grown worse at suppressing.

You took some of it out on her during training. It bothered her but thrilled you that you too were on the same level in combat. Apart from the times she was a sore looser and used her powers.

But you had made a strong effort to avoid training with her too. She taunted you during fighting. Although you were used to it it struck different when her body was pressed against yours to pin you to the floor.

Your most shameful day was when her actions had sent a jolt to your core that you couldn't deny.

Carol looked down at you with an insanely arrogant smirk as she straddled your waist. She was always like this in her moments of victory, always wanting to rub it in.

"Wow, you gave in quickly today." She quipped, not even trying to hide the obvious undertones. That didn't even make sense!

You weren't about to give in when she looked so god damn smug. You gripped her shirt with two hands and lifted your hips to flip her off but she caught on both too quickly and too late. She lurched forward into your grip but instantly pinned your hands above your head as her legs fell down next to yours.

Your breath hitched in your throat when you realised her face was inches from your own, it was only then that you become aware of the darker specs of brown in her eyes that highlighted the lighter shades. They were beau- okay. They were okay eyes. Yours were better.

The corner of her mouth raised in her familiar smirk that you always despised. But being that close brought light to how soft her lips looked. They were slightly parted and you wondered what kind of things she could do with that mouth. Professional things of course. Strictly professional and tactical thing. Not sinful things at all...

You wanted those thoughts banished from your head immediately. You wanted to leave.

All too hastily, you tried to raise your hips again, only then noticing how Carol's new position had her core right over yours. The contact and friction was undeniable, as was the slow throbbing that started.

A quiet moan slipped from your mouth that you desperetly coughed to cover up. You turned your head to the side, not wanting to see if Carol had noticed.

"Get off me, Carol." You huffed, trying to hide your embarrassment.

"What? You don't like me ontop of you?" She smirked.

God you definetly did.

As much as you tried to ignore that memory and replace it with the time you were first introduced you rarely succeeded. And even then it was like your hatred for her only encouraged how much you wanted to feel her deep insi-

"Are you even listening to me?!" Carol yelled at you with a glare. You never zoned out during meetings. Carol knew that. Fury knew that. Yet it was still very clear you just had.

"Are you done rambling?" You quipped, not having a moment to place the filter over your mouth as the thought spilled out.

Fury arched a brow at the question and Carol's jaw clenched in an annoyingly attractive way. You did not regret that one bit.

"If I hadn't taken the shot the hostages would have died."

"They almost did anyway."

"Almost."

There had been some sort of detonator with the man holding the hostages. Once dead, the storage he had loaded into his truck had been destroyed and nothing was salvageable. That was important cargo, but you always put a priority on lives. Taking the bad ones more than saving the good ones admittedly.

Once a vigilante always a vigilante.

"I don't think you understand how valuable that cargo was."

The meeting continued like that for a while. You would never admit it to anyone, especially as fucking up the mission wasn't intentional, but seeing how the tables had turned from the last time the three of you were in that office? It made you happier than it should have.

You guessed the two of you were even now. Maybe she would finally leave you alone. Your happiness faulted at that thought.

Finally, Fury told you and Carol to go and that it would be discussed again tomorrow. He was clearly tired. It had been a long day and it was late, everyone else was already asleep.

Even as you trudged down the hallway Carol continued to rant about your inability to follow orders. You would be the first to admit you weren't a team player. You still weren't used to it. But you always follow orders.

"I can follow orders, Captain. I just choose not to follow yours." You said calmly as approached the hallway towards your room.

You hated that Carol's room was next to yours. You had been there when Carol had talked to Tony about staying at the Avengers compound. You had seen her sly smirk as she pointed out on the compound map which room she wanted. Knowing full damn well it was next to yours.

How long did she plan to keep this up? You definetly didn't bug her about her screw up as long as she was you. Why couldn't she just hold the grudge in silence like you?

"You put aside personal matters when you go on a mission, y/n." She continue to scorn.

"Not personal, Captain. I just know when a decision and order is bullshit." Your room finally came into your line of sight. Just a few more meters.

"It wasn't bullshit. It was the right call. You just refuse to do what I tell you to." You rolled your eyes at her insistence, something that didn't go unnoticed by the blonde.

"The whole thing would have been fucked if I followed your orders. You should be thanking me." You taunted with a smile. But before you could fully bathe in your victory of getting under her skin, Carol gripped your neck tightly and slammed you into the wall.

You eyes widened as your back hit the wall painfully and you struggled to comprehend that Carol's hand was really around your neck...and you liked it.

"What? Got nothing to say to your Captain now?" She smirked. A familiar jolt travelled throughout your body and rested between your legs at her words.

It wasn't hard to put two and two together. Her hand, her words and the tone that accompanied them. You could always tell Carol was a top, but a dom?!

"If I could go back..." You started, your voice quiet with an edge of fear that made Carol preen. "And do the mission again...." Carol watched your face intently, awaiting your words of apology. "I still wouldn't follow your orders. Because I don't take orders from yo-" Carol stepped forward and forced one of her legs between yours.

You bit you lip to stop yourself moaning at the friction she was causing, the urge to grind against her leg was strong.

"Brat." She whispered with poison dripping from her voice. Her warm breath hit the small area of skin her hand wasn't covering and her hair tickled you chin.

"I have just the thing to deal with that. You wont be keeping up that facade for long."

You were about to object and assure her you would. That your stubbornness was just as strong as hers and you had been down this road before with others.

As she moved away from you she gripped your shirt in her closed fist and pulled you away from the wall with her. You hated that you instantly missed the contact of her thigh between yours. But her rough nature was doing it for you too. It had been so long since someone had been rough with you and you yearned to feel that again.

Carol had barely opened her door when she pushed you through the gap into her room. You were about to take in your surroundings and even pause to assess what was happening, but Carol's hands were on you again and all doubt slipped from your mind.

The next thing you knew your face was engulfed by soft pillows before you felt Carol's strong presence above you.

You could feel her knees on either side of your waist, pressed against you as though caging you beneath her. Her hands entwined with the back of your own and held them above your head under the pillows.

You went to move your hips up out of instinct from your training but Carol was too strong. She didn't even flinch from you efforts, clearly overpowering you in strength.

You reminded yourself you would not, under any circumstances, let Carol win.

You wouldn't apologise for the mission, wouldn't do what she said and you would not fully submit to her. It was something you truly believed, Carol knew this and it made everything you eventually did all the more worthit.

You could never imagine or anticipate the things you would let her do to you that night or the desperate way you would beg her to do them.

Her hair tickled your exposed neck as she leant down to whisper into your ear. "Anything you want to say to me before I begin? Perhaps an apology?" Carol questioned, knowing you would say no such thing but wanting to have more ammunition for later on.

You chuckled into the pillows before replying. "Go fuck yourself." It was muffled. But Carol understood.

She didn't reply verbally, instead she leant further against your body as her hands left yours and wandered down your arms.

Carol inhaled the scent around your neck as her hands reached your shoulders and decended to trace your collarbones that were visible from your shirt being lowered.

The blonde took her time memorizing every inch of your body, especially cupping your clothed breasts in her hands and ever so slightly grinding herself against you as she did so.

You reminded yourself to control your breathing as you felt those motions, not allowing yourself to be caught up in the firm grip of her hands against your breasts or the way she used your body to gain some friction to her core.

Her hands continued to massage your lower stomach, admiring the feel of your finally formed abs in a way she never could when you trained.

You kept your head amongst the pillows when her fingers danced around the waistband of your trousers. You didn't want Carol to see the anticipating look on your face at the touch of her fingers. They barely dipped half an inch beneath your trousers and panties but the contract gave you chills. You wanted to feel her against your bare skin more.

Carol retracted her fingers and instead wordlessly moved them to the centre of your trousers and unbuttoned them. You could hear her pull your zip down in the deafening silence of the room and you found yourself holding your breath in anticipation again.

She didn't hesitate once in her movements. With undeniable certainty, Carol slipped her hand under your trousers and panties to meet the space between your legs that welcomed her.

Carol sighed into the crook your neck as her fingers met your wetness between your slick lips. You bit your lip to stop any sounds escaping your mouth as the arrogant hero swiped a single finger slowly through your eager folds. She collected the arousal on her fingers before pressing it firmly to your clit.

Your hips rolled into her hand before you could stop them and the action caused a smug grin from Carol that although you couldn't see, you could feel against your skin. It was considerably worse and amplified your arousal as Carol could tell.

You hated feuling her ego. You hated that she had made you so wet your throbbing clit would slip around her fingers when she had barely touched you.

"Such a wet little brat. You're so ready for me and I've barely touched you." Carol husked as her finger continued to alter between running through your folds and rubbing your clit lightly.

It took every ounce of self control in your body not to squirm against her or make any noise. Your pride helped you keep those actions at bay.

Carol gripped your chin with her free hand and turned your head away from the pillow. You tried to avoid making eye contact with the blonde, knowing it would make your self control waver, but her hand continued to guide your line of sight to her enchanting gaze.

Her face was so close to yours you were completely caught off guard when Carol's finger pushed inside you and was engulfed by your lower lips with ease.

You bit your lip hard at the action, still staring into Carol's eyes and refusing to be the one to look away first. The intense eye contact did you no favours in holding off your verbal signs of arousal, especially when her single digit curled to brush your most pleasurable spot.

You gave a breathy moan when Carol held her finger against your g-spot for a long moment before withdrawing it, your eyes marginally widening as you adjusted to the pleasure, something Carol wouldn't have noticed if your faces weren't so close.

Her finger pushed back in at a slow pace but always stroked the back of your pussy in an angelic way.

You moaned louder when Carol returned with two fingers, the additional surface area made the experience all the more pleasurable and you feared how quickly you would cum.

Carol studied your facial expressions as she fingered you slowly, figuring out the spots that made you preen in pleasure the most and even the best angles to approach it.

It didn't take her long to understand the eb and flow of your pussy better than anyone ever had. With this powerful knowledge, Carol's pace suddenly increased in an overwhelming way you could barely adjust to.

She fucked you hard and fast with her fingers. Her wrist twisted in the most agile ways that caused her fingers to burry deep within you.

You moaned continuously as you stared into Carol's brown eyes you were beginning to remember better than your own.

The pleasure was immense and you knew your orgasm would hit you hard. Your breathing became rapid and your walls clenched down on Carol's fingers desperetly as your body prepared for your release.

Carol's fingers increased in pace as she gripped your chin harder, ensuring you look at her as her smirk finally returned.

Just as you were about to explode around Carol's fingers she retracted them from your throbbing pussy and brought them up to her lips as she grinned at you.

"Carol!" You protested in disbelief and annoyance.

"What? You didn't really think I would let you cum so soon did you? You haven't earned the right. Unless, of course, you'd like to make an apology." Carol said as her eyes bore deep into yours.

"Like hell I will." You groaned.

Carol clicked her tongue in disapproval before finally looking away from you. Her fingers returned to your waistband, only this time she pulled your trousers down swiftly, deliberately leaving your soaking panties clinging to you.

She then got off the bed and strolled confidently towards her walk in closet for a few seconds, returning with a few pieces of metal you weren't surprised to be seeing yet still gave you goosebumps. Carol's keen eyes seemed to notice this and she grinned knowingly to herself.

You shifted onto your side to get a clearer view of the devices attached to the long silver chain, once Carol reached your side she roughly forced your shoulder down so you were laying on your back.

"You're very pushy you know?" You quipped as Carol moved to straddle you hips and placed the metal beside you.

Her jaw clenched tightly in annoyance of your words but she didn't look at you, instead running her hands along your lower abdomen beneath your shirt. Seeing her frustration at you, especially the slight heavy exhale through her nose very few would notice, helped you control the urge to shiver under Carol's touch.

"I hope you can do other things with that mouth of yours besides bitching, for your own sake." Carol said lowly before gripping the end of your shirt and pulling it over your head.

"It can work wonders," you winked at her with a grin, "and it's nice to know you care, Captain, not just a big, mean, dom I see."

Carol's hand wrapped tightly around your throat just as you finished your sentence. She glared at you with clear rage in her eyes, a look that made putting up your hard front difficult. You had a strong urge to apologise, but you instead pushed it aside.

"If you think for one moment I'm going to go ease on you at any point you are sadly mistaken, brat. I'm not done with you until you're a begging, quivering, pathetic mess that's forgotten her own name and only knows her Captain. Even then I won't take any pity because of the shit you keep pulling. Whores dont deserve sympathy." Your breathing was shaky as the words dripped from her mouth laced with poison, threatening to be the end of you.

You were made acutely aware of her grip of your neck tightening and her ability to cut it off and never let you breathe again. You weren't sure at what point you had given over all control, but you didn't want it to stop.

Carol leaned in next to your ear and her scent enveloped your sences again. Her voice had dropped considerably when she next spoke her whispered words. "I can't wait to break you." She bit down on your ear harshly making you yelp. You couldn't deny the effect she was having on your body, she could see it too. Of course she could, she was playing you like a fiddle and there was nothing you could do about it. It was a thrilling realisation.

Carol pulled away from you slowly while you tried to return your breathing to it's normal pace. It wasn't until you heard Carol's deep chuckled that you realised that your eyes were clenched shut. You opened them to see the blonde looking very proud of herself and the result she had gotten.

You couldn't make another witty remark. Your brain couldn't form any kind of coherent thought and you wouldn't have trusted your mouth to deliver it. Besides, after what Carol had just said, you were afraid to speak out of term again.

The self-certain hero reached around your back to unclasp your bra as her other hand came to rest on your stomach, pressing down as she used it for support while she leant forward.

Carol's eyes eagerly took in every inch of your skin the moment it was exposed. She slowly pulled your bra away before flinging it across the room without taking her eyes off of your breasts.

The cold air hitting your skin made your nipples strain in a want for attention, although you and Carol both knew that wasn't the only reason. Carol hummed at the sight and leaned forward again to rub your buds between her thumb and fingers. Your head leant back into the pillows at the attention, sighing in bliss before you hissed sharply at the the spark of pain.

The blonde smiled in amusement as she continued to pinch your nipples harshly, you didn't protests out of stubbornness.

Carol then picked up the forgotten clamps next to you, trailing the chain slowly and deliberately over your sensitive skin. She attached the left clamp with a silent concentration that filled the room with tension. You hissed again as Carol adjusted the screw to the level she saw fit, which was scarily tight, before moving to the next with the same accuracy.

You closed your eyes and tried not to enjoy the throbbing pain on you nipples, but the growing slick between your legs was telling enough.

You closed your eyes and bit your lip hard to suppress a whimper, failing when Carol gave the chain a quick tug that made you give a strained whimper that sounded more pathetic than it would have if you hadn't tried to stop it.

Carol moved further down your body and spread your legs apart so she could sit between them. You could feel the chain extending down your stomach so you opened your eyes in confusion and instantly squirmed.

The two clamps had separate chains that looped around a small ring that lay on your stomach, twinkling mischeviously in the light. There was a third chain on the bottom of the ring that had a clamp at the end of it. A clamp that Carol was guiding dangerously close to your still covered core.

You had had experience with clamps before, but the thought of one pinching painfully at your throbbing clit was one you were unfamiliar and uncertain with.

Carol adjusted herself according to your newfound protests to kneeling on your legs, each knee digging into each of your thighs as a show of control. Your hands were still free and just as you were about to sit up Carol spoke with a fake pout.

"Aww, do you not think you can handle this? Are you too sensitive?" She mocked making you freeze. "I can always stop if you want me to. All you have to do is say the magic word." The blonde continued to taunt.

Your pride screamed at you to make some snarky remark as to protect your ego, knowing saying 'please' would lead to you spiralling down the rabbit hole you refused to step foot in, while your fear begged you to stay quiet. But there was also a small part of you that was eager to experience the pleasurable pain the clamp would surely deliver to your clit.

So instead, you kept your mouth shut and stared up at the ceiling, trying to keep an eye on Carol in your peripheral while appearing to ignore her.

She smirked, unbeknownst to you, at your pettiness and trailed a single finger against the wet patch on your panties. You struggled to continue looking at the ceiling and bucked your hips to try and meet Carol's hand.

Surprisingly, Carol let you and even pressed further against your panties, rubbing your clothed lips and relishing in the effect she had on you.

Carol teased you like that for a while, rubbing her finger against your soaking folds before circling your throbbing clit. Every so often she received a quiet whine from you that flooded you with embarrassment, hating how your body betrayed you and pleased Carol.

Finally, Carol pulled your ruined panties down and gleamed at the sight of your glistening folds, the view making her pussy clench around nothing and ache more than it had all night. An idea sprung to mind and she smirked at the thought.

She took the third clamp between her long fingers and pinched at your clit. You yelped and bucked your hips up again as Carol entrapped the sensitive bundle of nerves.

"So responsive." She muttered, more to herself than you, as she slowly twisted the screw. Her eyes returned to your pained face as she adjusted the tightness, studying you to see when you would reach the peak of your pain and your limit.

Your face scrunched up at the sharp pain that jolted throughout your body and made you whine lowly as you turned your head to the side and tried to squirm away.

Carol took another glance at your strained bud, biting her lip at the sight, before gripping your under arms and flipped you onto your back.

You were surprised and caught off guard but all questions flew from your mind when you were pushed against the mattress, the clamps pressing down and amplifying your pain.

A tear formed in your eye as your nipples burned hot in pain and your clit ached against its restraint. You whined and tried to squirm away, the inch you did move only made things worse as your dragged the clamps and the skin they pinched across the mattress. You gave a small cry at the pain but pushed your face into the pillows to muffle it, still trying with everything you had to not let Carol win.

You were so caught up in the unnatural pain you didn't even notice Carol stripping herself of her jeans and pants. But you did notice when you felt her wet pussy lips come into contact with the back of your thigh.

You brain short circuited when you felt how wet she was and that she was slowly rocking herself on your leg, using your body to get herself off.

"What are you-"

"Quiet." Carol cut you off by demanding as her hands locked yours to the top of the mattress again.

Her arousal was spreading across your thigh as she grinded against you.

You could feel your own breathing increase rapidly as you heard Carol gasp out occasionally. You wanted to see her. You wanted to see the look of pleasure on her face as she approached her high. What did she look like cuming? Did you feel good against her? Would she ever let you make her cum with your fingers or tongue. You prayed desperetly that you would someday get the chance.

"Fuck." Carol moaned breathlessly. Your own pussy clenched around nothing at the sound and you knew that while Carol was getting her wetness over your thigh, you were getting your own on her bed.

Carol's grip on your hands tightened as her movements became more erratic, chasing her release.

"Your Captain's gonna cum on your thigh, brat. Such a good fuck toy for me to use." A moan slipped past your lips at her words. You cursed yourself for giving the reaction Carol wanted, helping her frantic movements.

"Oh you like this, slut? You like being my little fuck toy for me to use whenever I want?"

You desperetly searched for friction on the bed covers as you whined, only to accidently apply more overwhelming pressure to all 3 clamps.

Carol's cunt dug harder into the back of your thigh as she came with a low moan, coating your skin with the evident of her orgasm.

Surprisingly, Carol didn't move from your thigh as she brought a soft hand around to the soaking space between your legs. She tugged momentarily on the clamp there and you whimpered in protest making her snicker.

She fingers teased your lower lips as she spoke. "You seemed to enjoy that just as much as I did." Carol smirked arrogantly as her fingers swiped at your arousal. "Answer me." She demanded, delivering a smack to your ass to punctuate her words.

You didn't. Instead your breathed into the pillows and tried not to think about how they smelled like Carol in an annoyingly soft way.

Carol spanked you again harshly, barely giving you a chance to adjust to the last.

"No." You lied shakily.

"Don't lie to me. You're only adding to your punishment, not that I mind. It's just drawing out the fun I'm having. Being a lying little slut gives me something else to fuck out of you too." Carol spanked you again as those words left her lips. She gripped your hips tightly and pulled you up so your ass was on full display to her.

When Carol's hand returned to your ass her hand was considerably warmer. You thought it was strange at first until she did it again, this time burning hot.

You moaned into the pillow as your realised Carol was using her powers. And you loved it. The hellish heat, Carol's brute strength and the merciless ways she delivered the blows with no recovery time hit your core everytime.

Your legs shook in pleasure and pain and your moans got notably louder. Sometimes when you tried to lean back into Carol's hand she tugged sharply at the ring connecting the chains on your clamps and you immediately returned to your position.

"Something to say?" Carol inquired after a particularly loud moan from you.

It dawned on you how close you were to submitting yourself to Carol. How close you were to telling her you loved every second of what she was doing and wanted her to fuck you.

So, to convince yourself more than the dominant blonde above you, you spoke up. "Need your powers to help you, Carol? Can't do it on your own?"

The pissed off blonde spanked you unbelievably hard after that. Your whole body lurched forward so suddenly you almost hit your head on the wall. You ass was stinging terribly and you felt a tear trickle down your cheek just after you cried out.

Carol got off the bed to once again disappear into the closet, giving you a moment to wipe the stray tear away so she could never know it was there.

When the powerful hero returned your eyes immediately fell to the obnoxious toy between her legs.

You bit your lip at the thought of her fucking you with it. Despite that, you were in denial that something that long and girthy would even fit. Although you knew Carol would make it fit. And with the blonde as pissed as she was...

"God you're practically drooling on my sheets." Your cheeks redened slightly at her words. "You want my cock, brat? You wanna be your Captain's cockslut?" God you did. But you refused to admit it, even if there was a moan caught in your throat.

"It isn't for your needy little pussy yet. It's to shut you up." Carol said as she straddled your chest, the strap inches away from your face.

"I'm not sucking your fucking strap, Carol." You tried to defy passively with an amused grin. You wanted to, so much. The thought of doing something like that was making your cunt pulse. But you might as well get on your knees and beg for forgiveness. You refused to please Carol with such a submissive act, even if you could feel the cracks in your bratty walls grow with each exchange of words and acts.

To your surprise, Carol didn't push the idea any more, simply nodding with a sly smirk, as though she knew something you didn't.

Instead, the taller woman grabbed a small device from the side of the bed you had failed to notice prior. She twirled it in her hand, as though familiarizing herself with it as she positioned herself between your legs again, a place she seemed to be becoming familiar with.

As you gazed at the toy Carol held you couldn't help but feel there was something different about it. Something you couldn't quite placed. It wasn't as slim as any vibrator you had ever seen, not as pointed either, but there was something else to it too.

You didn't voice these inquires and the blonde didn't make any suggestive comments. So you let the thoughts go.

With her free hand, Carol unscrewed the clamp that had continued to grip onto you with everything it had. The release of pressure was unimaginably relieving but you didn't get long to appreciate it.

Carol wordlessly turned the vibrator on to a high setting and teased it against your skin just above your clit. Your hips jerked instantly in an attempt to lower the vibrator to where you needed it, but Carol placed a firm hand between your hip bones and kept you in place.

You almost whined at that, trying hard to keep it at bay, but Carol soon placed it directly onto your throbbing clit. Your hips bucked again as the vibrations hit you hard. The lack of a tip stopped them being focused to one point and instead pulsed down to every milimeter of your clit.

Despite this newfound pleasure, you couldn't shake the unnerving silence from Carol that hung in the room. Just as her lack of teasing with the vibrator hung over you. It seemed as though she was purely focused on drawing out your own pleasure, abandoning any precious plans. You knew that wasn't really the case. But you didn't know what was. It was anxiety inducing not knowing what Carol was planning in that stubborn head of hers.

The silent blonde watched you as she rotated the vibrator, grinding it into you like a drill that buzzed furiously. The vibrations were sending strong shock waves to your core that were carried throughout the entirety of your body in bliss.

Just as you were about to mentally praise yourself for not making a noise the vibrations seemed to multiple at an alarming rate.

You moaned the loudest you had all night at the feeling of warmth covering your core, emitting off of the vibrator that centred in on your aching clit that was drenched in arousal. Your hips tried to buck violently in search for the source of the vibrations that pulsed almost angrily.

You finally braved a look down as you panted heavily amongst moans to see what could possibly cause such uncharted pleasure only to spot the blue, yellow and red swirls of light you had come to hate the sight of. In that moment you didn't hate them though, far from it. You were entranced by the light show from Carol.

Your legs attempted to close around Carol's hand and the vibrator, but she held them apart. She watched you with an arrogant smirk as you threw your head back and moaned continuously, just as she had planned.

"Oh? I thought you didn't like me using my powers on you. You seem to be enjoying it now, judging by your slutty moans that is." She taunted knowingly.

You're unable to muster the voice to say something, to defend your ego. All you can do try to stop yourself moaning Carol's name or title.

Your breathing became increasingly ragged as Carol's powers never let up, mercilessly pulsing waves of vibrations to your core repeatedly until your legs started to shake.

Your cunt clenched around nothing as your clit throbbed aggressively, desperate to reach it's release it craved so much.

Your moans became less coherent when your back arched and toes curled. Just as you were about to fall over that glorious edge all vibrations died down to barely noticeable sensation.

You whined lowly at the worst teasing you had ever felt. It was as though Carol held you over your much needed edge by the back of your shirt, keeping you in that vulnerable state until she decided to either pull you back or let you go.

"Do you need something?" Carol asked with a shit eating grin.

You brought your hands down to push the vibrator further against you but Carol pinned them together in the middle of your stomach with one hand. The strength of just that was able to stop you and it was frustrating to no end knowing that.

Her other hand stayed firmly attached to the vibrator that was quietly buzzing against you core. Carol occasionally messed around with the vibrations levels and the inclusion of her powers to take you by surprise, constantly keeping you on the edge of where you needed to be most.

"Jesus Christ!" Your frustration bubbled to the surface, unable to control your anger at Carol for the merciless teasing she was making you ensure.

"Nope, just your Captain." If you had control of your legs, you would have kneed her in that stupidly attractive face of hers.

The vibrations were becoming too much yet still too little. Every so often they would spike to the previous level before returning to something unfairly light. Your orgasm seemed to grow closer and closer each time before it was denied.

Once, Carol slipped the powered vibrator through your drenched folds with her powers lining it. It felt insane. Energy tickling your inner walls as the vibrations hit all the right areas. But, of course, it was quickly pulled away too.

Just like that, all defiance left your body and you surrendered to your needs.

"Carol, Please, I need to cum so bad!" You wailed in desperation, not caring how you sounded.

"Really?" Carol wondered aloud as she stared down at you.

"Yes! Carol..." You whined and returned her stare pleadingly.

"Who are you begging to make you cum?"

You gulped stiffly, knowing you were about to slip head first into the rabbit hole you had been avoiding so precisely all night.

"You...My Captain." Carol preened at the use of her title, something she had long awaited to hear you say and was sure you would need no encouragement to say it countless more times that night.

"Good girl." She husked and carelessly threw the vibrator to the side now she could use something better. "You want your Captain to fuck you? You wanna cum on my cock like a good little slut?"

Your nodded eagerly, knowing the only way was forward and that you would do anything for what Carol wanted to do to you.

"Please Captain, I want you so bad." You begged shameless.

"Well then you need to get my cock ready for your cunt." Carol stated matter-of-factly as she sat up straight and edged towards you.

The silicone toy between her legs was getting nearer to your face and your mouth watered at the sight, knowing you would need it to help accomdate the size.

You were so dazed by the sight of the toy bigger than you had ever seen that Carol had to tap your cheek to prompt you to open your mouth for her strap.

You did so instantly and without hesitation, quickly having the tip of the silicone toy at your mouth.

"Such an obidient baby now. You would do anything for my cock wouldn't you?" But Carol didn't give you a chance to respond. She thrusted her hips forward and in a flash she was forcing the strap into your mouth and hitting the back of your throat.

The blonde retreated the strap slightly only to ram it back in with more force and causing you to gag as it surpassed your limit without consideration.

You tried to sit up on your elbows to try and soften Carol's thrusts but she knelt down painfully on your arms as she gripped the headboard to aid her thrusting.

"I haven't even got you tired up and you're still so helpless." She mocked cruelly as she continued to make you gag and choke on the toy you struggled to accomdate so badly.

Eventually it became too much and you body fell limp in defeat, drool spilling from your mouth.

Carol didn't fail to notice this and chuckled darkly at the sight of you spread out on her bed with a dazed expression. She hadn't even fucked you yet.

As the dominant hero withdrew her strap she felt a rush to her core at the sight of your saliva glistening on her cock. You really had gotten it ready for yourself. Not that it would help you handle the size much.

Carol didn't waste and time lining the strap up with your entrance. Her hands were firmly placed on either of your thighs to ensure you stay spread open for her.

"Please." You whispered as you both watched the strap part your folds, paving a way for itself, before disappearing into your hungry pussy. You moaned loudly as the strap stretched your walls for it's entrance. You couldn't help but cling onto Carol's bare back and scratch the prominent muscle beneath your fingers as she sunk the strap in further.

The pain was present but it was overridden by the amazing pleasure provided by it. Your pussy clenched desperately around the intruder just before Carol bottomed out into you and you cried out at the unexpected motion, gripping onto the woman above you as much as you could.

She pulled the strap out slightly, only to slam it back in with force that made your whole body jerk and shudder. She pulled out more the next time, as though giving you a moment to prepare before thrusting the toy back into your still unprepared cunt.

You moaned over and over, struggling to form words and accomdate the brutal strap. You were overwhelmed with pleasure and pain as they took over every part of your brain, body and soul.

Her pace never faulted, never giving you a break. Every thrust was just as hard as the last, leaving you a moaning and shuddering mess beneath her.

"You feel how deep I am inside you, slut?" Carol grunted as she continued her onslaught of fucking tour dripping pussy.

"Yes Captain! Feels so good. You feel so good deep inside me." You moaned between breathless pants.

"God you're such a desperate slut for me. Dripping whore for me to use whenever I want." She punctuated each word with the snap of her hips.

The coil in your lower abdomen was starting to tighten and you craved your release.

"C-Captain." You stuttered as you started to shudder. "I'm gonna...cum."

"Beg me for it." Carol demanded and you complied without question.

"Please! Please Captain, I'm gonna cum so hard! Please let me! I'll be good for you." You begged as though Carol held your life in her hands.

"Why should I let you?"

"Because I- because I'm sorry!" You looked Carol in the eyes as you pleaded, letting you see her expression when she knew she had won. You both knew.

"How sorry?" Carol asked as her pace increased. You knew you wouldn't be able to hold off your orgasm for much longer.

"I'm so sorry. It'll never happen again. I promise." Carol watched you for a moment as she memorized every inch of you during her victory.

"Cum for your Captain." With a cry, you came incredibly hard on Carol's cock. Your whole body shuddered violently as Carol fucked you through your orgasm in the most ungentle way possible.

"I'm cuming! I'm cuming on your cock, Captain!" Never in your life did you think you would talk like this to someone, especially not Carol. Never since meeting the arrogant hero did you think you would submit to her in such a wanton way.

Carol fucked you through your orgasm and into another one without even considering giving you a break or chance to recover from the earth shattering one you had just experienced. Your vision was still spotted with blanks as you tried to speak this to her but you couldn't manage to form any coherent words, the only sounds resonating throughout the room were your desperate moans, slapping of Carol's thighs against your own and the wet sound of your pussy being fucked, this being amplified even more now that your cum was swirling around inside of you with the strap.

Carol unexpectedly reached out quicker than you could react to and locked her hand around your throat. Her pace was harder this time, as though reminding you she hadn't forgotten she was punishing you and that she was still mad at you. Clearly very mad.

The strap slammed against the back of your pussy and had you crying out in a failed attempt to adjust to it. Even that was muffled by Carol's grip on your airways.

You couldn't believe the force she was able to gather to drive herself into you with each thrust. Over and over. You began to loose your grip on the world around you.

You plummeted into another orgasm in no time, your overworked pussy spasming around the strap as it released more sticky liquid onto it that you were too blissed out to notice was dripping onto yours and Carol's thighs. She smacked your thigh hard to show she at least had acknowledged it.

You lost count of how many times you had cum. When your limbs went weak and finally dropped from Carol's back she withdrew. Something you were thankful for until she flipped you onto your front and dove back in. Her stamina and sex drive was unforgivable and unmatched. And soon, it was the only thing you knew.

You continued to moan and scream profanities into the pillow while Carol wrecked your world above you. She had your head forced into the pillows with one hand and showed no signs of letting up.

You mustered as much energy as you could to squirm away but your efforts were futile. Your pussy ached with the punishing pace and extreme overstimulation you were experiencing. But you had no way to escape it. All you could do was lay beneath your Captain, voice horse from screaming so loud countless times, and take everything she was giving.

When the final orgasm was ripped from your body it was as though it had taken every part of you with it. Your exhausted and overworked body finally abandoned you and left you to be enveloped by the darkness and the strong arms of Carol Danvers.

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