#it would have been a darker time without the content to watch and the people to talk to

[strawberri-syrup]

feeling weirdly nostalgic for 2021 rn....been watching old jack manifold n tommyinnit vids all day.......................simpler times

[actuallysaiyan]

Silence Teaches You How(Serial Killer!Kenpachi x Fem!Reader)

warnings(PLEASE READ THESE PROPERLY FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY) : smut, DARK content, YANDERE themes, STOCKHOLM SYNDROME, STALKING, MURDER, unprotected sex, CERVIX mention, creampie finish, DUBCON(bordering on NONCON), slapping, biting, blood mentions, VERY VERY VERY DARK CONTENT

word count: 2.7k

pairings: Serial Killer!Kenpachi x Fem!Reader

summary: there's a serial killer on the loose in your town and you are his next victim...or are you the apple of his eye?

a/n: thank you to Vero(@yeowangies) for helping me with this! this might be one of the darkest things I've ever written. dividers by: @/adornedwithlight. Want the full effect? Listen to the Sinister OST, especially BBQ '79 where I got the title from.

He’s been watching you. Every second of every day, he watches you carefully. He’s never seen anyone so full of youth. So vivacious. You practically bounce with every step you take. It’s so perfect, and yet he’d love to fucking tear you apart.

You’re so unaware that he’s there watching you. You don’t notice that someone is always making sure you get home safely. You don’t realize that someone wants to watch you and see what you’ll do.

Then the reports come on the radio, the TV and even on social media. You try to ignore it, but you’d be lying if you said the thought of a serial killer on the loose didn’t make you the least bit nervous. 

You’ve seen the pictures. He looks tall, and definitely more buff than you thought. Something about him is far more menacing than you’ve ever witnessed. Even though his face is covered by a mask, you swear you can see the anger and hatred in his eyes. You can sense it.

First it’s police outside in your neighborhood to keep watch on things during the dark hours of the night. Then it’s the cops in the schools, making sure kids are safe. Then the curfews start.

After that, you become much more aware of your own surroundings. You find yourself jumping at your own shadows much more. You sleep with a baseball bat under your mattress, ready to grab whenever you need it. You were becoming even more afraid than before. 

Who would have thought something like this would happen in your little town? You thought you could live here without having this kind of worry. You had watched the news and heard all the gruesome things they’d even decided to share.

This man was out there. He was ready to kill his next victim. It didn’t seem to matter to him who it was either. It was going to be any one of you. They had a very hard time trying to pinpoint who it was too. He was ruthless, clever and didn’t leave any traces of who he was.

Every night was the same. You’d get home before the curfew. You’d make yourself dinner and then you’d watch the news until it was time to go to bed. And then you’d meticulously check every window and every door.

You’d never let any of them go unchecked. Not before going to bed.

And yet every night, he still found a way inside…

He found that you had neglected to get that lock changed in your old backdoor. It still locked, but it wasn’t a perfect latch. It was an easy way for him to sneak in too. He would just walk up to the door, unlatched it and then he slid inside.

And for the next few nights after he found out that your door was easy to break into, he decided to watch you sleep. You looked like a pretty little angel. How you slept so peacefully despite the concern and worry you held with you all day. Maybe it was from the sleeping pills he was secretly sneaking into your food and drink when you weren’t being as aware as you thought you were.

Some nights, he would just sit next to your sleeping form on the bed. He would play with your hair, loving the smell of your shampoo. Oh you were just so goddamn beautiful. Too beautiful for someone so dark and ugly like him.

The nights became darker as the season was shifting. Despite it being close to Halloween, it seemed like less and less people were excited for a festival that most usually were looking forward to. This serial killer had plagued this small town with terror and fear.

It was around this time that you started receiving mysterious love letters. You slept with one eye open that night, afraid for your life. The letters were short, but you knew they had to be from him. They couldn’t be from anyone else. And he was hiding them in spots in your apartment.

Finally, you decided to go to the police. You filed a report with them, which made you feel a little more at ease. They promised to come patrolling in your neighborhood a little more heavily that night. You felt like a wave of relief washed over you when one of the policemen gave you his personal number to call if anything happened. And they even promised to do a thorough sweep of your home before you even returned.

Though you weren’t completely able to prove that it was in fact the serial killer sending you these love letters, they weren’t going to be taking chances.

So you got home to the police just leaving your home. They assured you that everything would be alright. One of them stayed patrolling the neighborhood.

So you went through your nightly routine as usual. Though you were very jumpy. You were so afraid. Even trying to settle down and eat your meal was too much. You didn’t feel hungry at all. Your skin was crawling at just the idea of that man lurking somewhere in your apartment.

And then it was time for bed. Oh you were dreading it. Just the thought of being alone in your bed made you scared. You tried to calm yourself with a shower and some tea, but your heart was in your throat. Your stomach was in knots.

You laid in bed, looking up at the ceiling. You had a few lights on, but those were proving to make you feel even more anxious. You looked outside your window to make sure that the police would be outside, but you couldn’t see any of their cars. You tried to reason with yourself and tell yourself that they’d be back in the neighborhood soon.

The lights cut out soon after.

You grabbed for your baseball bat, only to find it missing from its original hiding space. You heard heavy footsteps climbing the stairs. You gripped your sheets, wanting to pull them up over your head.

He was coming to you. Finally, he would reveal himself to you. He knew there was nothing you could do to stop him. He would finally have you. You were his everything. He was madly in love with you.

The footsteps stop right outside your door. You look over as fear has you stuck on your bed. You’re without a weapon, without help and the lights are cut. You have no real escape unless you take the window. And even then, you’re about 3 storeys up. You’d be risking your death if you tried that route.

Kenpachi snickers to himself. You were completely at his mercy. He sheathes his blade in the holster, smirking as he slowly opens your bedroom door. You’re gripped with fear, praying to some unknown savior. Nobody could take you away from him now. You were all his and he wouldn’t let anyone take you.

“Hello sweetheart,” he croons as he walks in. He’s close to seven feet tall, and he’s big and buff.

You’re shaking as you look up at him. He looks down at you, a smile on his face. You didn’t think that his smile would captivate you quite like this. He then reaches out to caress your cheek, and you shudder when you feel the warm liquid smearing on your face.

“Sorry about that, beautiful. I didn’t mean to…”

He sighs before he sits down next to you. His weight makes the bed dip down. You try to crawl away from him, but he’s quick to pin you down. His smile is a little wilder now, and yet you are still so intrigued.

“Have you been getting my letters?” He asks, leaning in to kiss you.

It’s a warm kiss. Not cold and deathly, like you had imagined someone like him would kiss. It’s so warm. He tastes like iron and cinnamon…he smells like fire. There’s something so captivating. Your brain is yelling at you to push him off and to try for the window. Your heart says you can’t make it on time.

“Have you?” He growls, pinning you down harder. You yelp in surprise.

“I—I have. please…Please just let me go. I won’t tell anyone you were here.”

He laughs. “It’s too late for that. I know you already went to the police. Are you that afraid of me, angel?”

You want to say something, but all you can do is shake your head ‘no’. He laughs again. It’s sardonic and deep. This is when you know you won’t be getting out of this alive.

His hands are surprisingly gentle as he begins to caress you. He starts with your face, then down your neck. When he feels your pulse, he notices how badly your heart is racing. He loves having this effect on you.

Then he begins to take off your clothes. You’re pleading and crying to him, trying to appeal to some humanity inside of him, if he has any. He begins to mock you, blubbering and whimpering in a very taunting kind of way.

“Don’t worry about it. You know I’ll make you feel good.”

You want to close your eyes and wish this all away. But you know you can’t do it. Nothing good will even come out of that. You grimace as you feel  his calloused hands on your smooth skin. Something about this ignites a fire deep inside of you.

Kenpachi leans in to lick them off your cheeks, moaning as he finally has your flavor on his tongue. He continues to lick your face, then leaning in closer to bite at your neck as he tugs and pinches your swollen nubs.

He smirks when he notices you lightly arching into his touch. Then he kneads your breasts roughly, making you cry out. He tugs at your nipples, loving the way you’re crying for him. The tears in your eyes that slowly roll down your cheeks make him thirst for you.

“G-get off. Please…I’ll give you money. Please, anything but this.” You try to reason with him.

You feel the sting of his hand on your cheek. More tears roll down your face. You can’t stop sniffling now. You know there’s just no escape from him. And yet part of you doesn’t even want to escape from him. You want to lay here and take what he’s got to offer.

“Say that shit to me one more time, and I promise you’ll regret it.”

His warning is enough to have you settle into the plushness of your blankets. He smiles when he notices how docile you’re being. Kenpachi leans in to whisper in your ear, “I really don’t want to get rough with you, doll. Please don’t make me do that again. Please.”

You nod your head, trying to be as calm as possible. Then his hands wander down your body. He pulls off your pajama pants and he smirks when he sees you’re not wearing any underwear. 

“Perfect. Here’s my meal.”

He spreads your thighs, making you shudder. The way he has complete control over your body has that flame inside of you growing. Arousal pools deep inside of you. Your slick begins to dribble out of you. Kenpachi grunts as he gets a whiff of you.

“Heh,” he laughs. “I knew you’d like this.”

And without another warning, he’s devouring you like he hasn’t had a meal in days. Your nectar is the only thing he ever wants to taste again. His hands grip your thighs so hard, you know there are bruises already forming.

You can’t help but gasp and moan as he hits all your sweet spots. You want to reach down to grip onto his hair, but you stay on the bed and you don’t move. Kenpachi makes the most obscene noises as he works you to a very messy, wet orgasm.

Once you ride out your high, he easily maneuvers you onto your hands and knees. He presses your face into the pillows and all you can hear is a zipper being unzipped. You try to turn around to look at him, but your face is pressed deeper into the pillows.

The first couple of thrusts are experimental. You try to hide your whines of pain, but Kenpachi can hear them. What surprises you is when he begins to play with your clit to make you even more aroused. You let out such a cute moan when he finally bottoms out and rubs against your cervix.

“Fuck,” he grunts. “You’re much tighter than I thought.”

And with that, Kenpachi leans over to grab onto the headboard for leverage and he begins pumping into you. His movements are wild and beastlike. He fucks you with reckless abandon, pulling moans and whines from you. You can just barely make out the words he says as he fucks you hard.

“Love this little pussy. It’s all mine. You know it’s mine…”

A cry is ripped from you as you reach your peak violently. Your legs are shaking as you try to stay up. Kenpachi notices how he’s fucked you so hard and you’ve just cum so good that you can’t stay in this position.

With your walls still clenching, he pushes you onto your back. He wraps your legs around his big frame, sliding into you like it’s no big deal. Then he slowly begins rocking his hips, smirking at your reaction. He definitely loves this position much better than the last.

Then he surprises you again. He reaches up to begin cupping your face. He kisses you sloppily; his tongue is violent in your mouth and wrestles with your own tongue harshly. When he pulls away from the kiss, he leans his forehead against yours.

“This world is ugly,” he grunts. “I’m ugly…”

You cry out for him, “N-no…not ugly.”

His heart flutters. “That’s my good girl. You’re my good girl. I need to take you away from all this. This filth isn’t good for my angel.”

He picks up his pace ever so slightly, making sure to rub up against your sweet spot. You cling to him, your nails digging into the meat of his arms. Kenpachi grunts and he laughs softly. More kisses to your lips, then to your neck. You whine when he bites down.

“If I mark you up, then everyone’s going to know you belong to me.” He laughs again. “Then again…nobody but me will ever get to see you again.”

You don’t want to even think too deeply on what he’s saying. You don’t even want to think about how he’s been making you cum so hard. You didn’t even reach for your phone. The cops never even came back. It’s just you and Kenpachi. You realize you don’t even know his name…

Kenpachi nuzzles his face in the crook of your neck as he pounds into you. You smell so good. Like springtime and linens. It’s his favorite scent. You taste so good; your sweat and nectar is his favorite flavor. And he feels his balls drawing up and his body twitching.

“Be good,” he growls. “Cum for me. Milk this cock.”

You want to finally push out of this trance, but it’s too late. His thumb is rubbing your clit roughly, making you tumble off the edge just once more. It’s all too much. You can see stars speckling your vision as you try to hang on. Kenpachi pounds into you so hard, you swear he’s trying to enter your cervix.

With a loud roar, Kenpachi begins spilling his seed deep inside your waiting womb. You’re barely conscious at this point. Kenpachi kisses you so hungrily as he rides out his high. When he stops moving, this is when he realizes you’ve passed out. 

When you wake up, you notice you’re no longer home. You’re sitting on a bed in a dimly lit room. You look at the door, your heart thumping wildly in your chest.

Kenpachi walks in, his mask on his face. You realize that he wasn’t wearing his mask when he broke into your home. Then it all comes back to you. You thrash around on the bed, but Kenpachi is quick to come over to you. He soothes his hand over your face and hair.

“Shh…I’ve taken you away from the filth, angel.”

His words calm you. With tear stained eyes, you look up at him. You know he did exactly that. He is your savior.

reblogs and comments always appreciated!

©actuallysaiyan 2024– do not repost on other platforms, copy, translate or edit my works!

[tojisbbg]

𝙗𝙤𝙧𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙙𝙞𝙚

❝come and take a walk on the wild side, let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain; you like your girls insane.❞  

♡ geto suguru ♡

a/n: was listening to this song earlier and it reminded me of him. 😞 i know there's been a lot of angsty shit on my blog recently, but i promise new content soon! how we feeling about a tattoo artist!geto smutfic? 👀 lmk in the comments!

likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated! <3

content: geto suguru x fem!reader, takes place after geto becomes a silly little cult leader, spoilers (slightly, i changed up some stuff), angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, friends to lovers, a little long 'cause i got carried away lol, not edited.

---

"y/n?! weren't you on a business trip?" gojo gasped, your sudden appearance made everyone's heads turn, including his.

however, gojo's words flew over your head, frozen in your tracks as your eyes widened. it really was him, his hair was much longer than the last time you saw him which was... ten years ago.

"suguru.." you breathed out, feeling your backpack that was slung over one shoulder slip off and fall to the ground. you felt your body tremble, his eyes meeting yours as they never wavered.

without any hesitation, you began to walk forwards, pushing past the sea of higher-ups that were grouping around behind gojo. you were about to walk past the tall white haired man as well, only to be halted as he grabbed your wrist.

"don't. he's not the same suguru that we once knew, y/n. don't let your emotions conflict with you, he's a threat to jujutsu high." gojo sternly said, his other hand lifting the bandages of one eye as he looked down at you with a begging look.

you looked up at him with a glare, a frown painted on your lips.

"let go of me, satoru." you calmly replied, making him thin his lips before a heavy sigh left his mouth.

"y/n-"

"i said to let go." you spoke through gritted teeth, twisting your wrist in his hold before ripping out of his grasp. the crowd gasped at your actions, you could hear principal yaga and gojo yell your name, but all of that just sounded like white noise.

you were blind and deaf to anything that wasn't related to the man in front of you. geto looked at you with an amused grin, watching your wobbly legs walk up to him without a single care for your safety, as you were now just a few inches away from him.

you noticed how his eyebags got darker, his eyes that once shimmered with joy were now replaced with nothing but emptiness and tire. it made your throat swell up, feeling it burn as tears stung your eyes.

"you grew out your hair, sugu." you said, though your voice was as soft as a whisper, allowing only geto to hear. you brought up a shaky hand and caressed the long and silky smooth ebony locks. he allowed you to touch it, humming in response.

"i didn't have the time to cut it." geto bluntly responded, onyx eyes looking down at you as you never once broke eye contact with him.

"busy?" you casually asked, earning a nod from him.

"killing people, right?" you added a follow-up question, which you knew the answer to, but all these years you were still in denial about it.

you heard it all over the news, read it on the paper and yaga himself told you. yet, still in your heart you believed that he was innocent and that it was nothing but a mistake or someone trying to frame him.

you knew geto like the back of your hand, he was gentle, calm and soothing. he reminded you of a soft, gentle spring rain shower in the middle of the night.

however, all of that hope would soon come crumbling down as you saw him smirk.

"how'd you know?" his tone dripped with nothing but sarcasm and malice, setting off goosebumps all over your body.

"you're lying to me! i know you'd never do this, suguru. i've known you for years. who's behind all of this? there's still time to fix everything!" your voice trembled, clammy palms coming up to cup his face as your thumb dragged along the soft skin of his cheeks.

"fix? there's nothing left to fix, y/n. everything that you heard was true, i killed that entire village. matter of a fact, it didn't stop there. i killed more and more and even more people all these years!" he laughed like a maniac, making your heart rate increase, feeling his larger hands cup yours.

"stop... please, stop." you sniffled, tears streaming down your face, which made him frown.

"why are you crying? isn't this what you wanted to hear?" he asked with faux sympathy, his thumb brushing away your tears as you looked at him with glossy eyes.

"i missed you so much. every night, i prayed that one day you'll come back and say that everything was a lie. and here you are now, telling me all of this bullshit! why, suguru?! why did you leave??" you yelled at him, not caring about your safety at that moment, knowing that he wouldn't dare to lay a finger on you.

"it's simple, y/n. i'm creating a world where us jujutsu sorcerers can live peacefully without these filthy monkeys." geto tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, his words making your stomach churn with sickness.

yet, this was your last attempt in trying to convince him. who knew when you'd ever see him again? if he disappeared for ten years without a trace, then perhaps your next encounter with him might be too late.

without thinking, you closed the distance between you both, burying your face in his kimono as he let you embrace him without any protest.

he still smelled of the same fragrance that you bought for him in your teen years. you cried on his chest, gripping onto the fabric as your arms tightened around him.

"please, don't leave me again. come back to us, suguru. we'll find a way to fix this, i promise. i'll help you!" you tried to persuade him, feeling his chest take in a huge supply of air before breathing it out. suddenly, you felt him pull you away from him.

your breath hitched when you saw his face morph into a scowl, his fingers grabbing a hold of your jaw to look at him dead in the eyes.

"come back? come back to what, huh? my execution or that terrible life that i abandoned ten years ago? it's time that you realize that things aren't the same for us anymore, y/n. i am no longer on your side, we are enemies now. your sweet sappy talk won't work on me, i'll proceed with my plans no matter what. and if you get in my way—" he harshly spoke, each of his words stabbing you in the heart multiple times, making it bleed and cry.

"i'll kill you." geto's eyes darkened, his tone dropping an octave lower as you gulped. he let go of you, walking back to the huge bird that you assumed was his form of transportation.

"i'll see you all on the night parade of a hundred demons! bye-bye~" he sang out, waving at everyone as the bird took off. you watched him grow smaller and smaller into the distance until he was no longer visible to your eyes.

your knees felt like jelly, no longer being able to support your weight before collapsing. you sat on the cold cemented ground, tears dropping onto your thighs as you sobbed. you could hear distant murmuring which belonged to the higher-ups, probably snickering about your unacceptable behavior today towards a traitor, but you couldn't have cared less.

he was your suguru, your best friend.

he's the only person who's ever made your heart flutter and make you feel like the world's cruelty didn't seem so bad when you were with him. in a never ending void, geto was your comfort.

you heard footsteps nearing close to you before feeling a hand on your shoulder. you turned to your side, being met with the familiar cerulean eyes.

"come here." gojo softly said, pulling you into his embrace as you cried on his shoulder, feeling his arms wrap around you.

"it's so unfair! so fucking unfair, satoru!" you choked out, feeling him stroke your back in a comforting manner.

"i know... i know, y/n."

---

it's been about two weeks since the incident, you were on mandatory house arrest while the higher-ups further investigated your loyalty towards jujutsu tech. not that you minded, in the end, you knew you'd slip out of these accusations because gojo satoru existed.

and yaga knew you as if you were his own child.

nonetheless, you treated your little 'punishment' as a well-deserved break. long before the incident, you've been quite literally abused with never ending missions, the majority of them shoving you overseas since gojo couldn't go on them frequently due to his students.

you'd occasionally see him, but it was like on a rare moon. you worked full-time and overtime as a sorcerer.

what a hassle.

night had fallen, you glanced at your window which was slightly opened to let in the cool spring breeze. you could hear the faint sound of the sky rumbling, storm clouds slowly grouping together.

"looks like it'll storm tonight." you mumbled to yourself, walking towards your window as you closed it along with the curtains. a few seconds later, you heard a knock at your door.

who'd pay you a visit at this hour? it's nearly a little past midnight.

regardless, you pushed your thoughts aside and went ahead to open the door.

"oh, shoko?" you called out, your tone a little surprised in seeing her so late, assuming that she'd be long knocked down by sleep.

"mhm, mind if i come in?" the dark brunette asked, taking one last drag of her cigarette before throwing it on the floor, crushing beneath her foot.

"no, of course not!" you gave her a smile, stepping aside to let her enter your house.

"so, what was that whole romeo and juliet incident involving you and suguru about?" shoko chuckled at her own joke, making you sigh.

"so you've heard." you replied, making her hum.

"i did. you know, i'm a little hurt that i didn't hear it from your mouth instead. those shitty higher-ups really have a way with their words, and it's not poetic." she snickered, making you scoff.

"they always exaggerate shit." you grumbled, balling your hands into fists.

"mhm, so, i need to hear it from you now." shoko took off her white coat before tossing it to the side, plopping on your couch as she patted the empty seat next to her. you took in the offer, sitting down as you looked down at your lap, fiddling with your fingers.

"i.. he-" you could feel your words starting to get stuck in your throat, the memory of that day washing so vividly clear in your mind, making you feel sick. shoko attentively watched you, a long pause embracing your lips.

"you know i trust you, right y/n?" she suddenly blurted out, making you look up at her with wide eyes.

"huh?" was the only thing that left your lips, a little astonished to hear it from the lips of the woman who was left to cope with everything by herself after geto's departure.

it was cruel and uncalled-for, after all, the four of you were best friends. but, life happened and it was a harsh split.

"if i were in your place, i'd feel the same and i know satoru felt the same too. he's just too ignorant to come to terms with his emotions. so, tell me." shoko offered you a small smile, comfortingly rubbing your back as you told her everything.

"ah, i see. i've gotta say, you got some balls, y/n." she giggled, making your face turn red.

"that's not the case, my body just led without my control." you defended.

"hm, you must've gotten a harsh earful from principal yaga." she leaned back in the sofa, hazel eyes meeting yours.

"yeah." you thin your lips.

"are you serious right now, y/n?! you're one of my most trusted students, a senior and mentor at jujutsu tech! how could you act so rash and stupidly like this?! it makes no sense, i'd rather have it be satoru than you. do you know how much of a dangerous position you're in now? they're investigating you because of rising accusations that you might be suguru's accomplice. they're questioning your loyalty and if you're possibly another traitor like him!"

yaga's words rang loud and clear in your head, making you scowl as you slumped back.

"you're still in love with suguru, aren't you?" shoko suddenly blurted out, making you choke on air as your eyes widened.

"what?!" you gasped, a little mortified at how she knew.

"i'm not stupid, y/n. you were so painfully obvious back when we were teens and it seems like nothing has changed now either." she smirked at you, watching how your body was fidgeting as you tried to think of a quick lie.

but, you soon gave up, not having the energy or will left to care about covering up your stupid crush. you nodded your head, not meeting her eyes as you were afraid of being teased.

you've kept this little secret of yours hidden for over fourteen years, but, now someone knew.

"shoko?" you absent-mindedly called out, being lost in your thoughts.

"hm?" she hummed in response.

"you're a doctor, right?" you stupidly asked, making her laugh.

"of some sort, yes." shoko played on with your words, even though you already knew the answer to it.

"then tell me how to stop feeling like this. i can't live knowing that he's suffering and being swallowed in a pit of self-loathe, blame and pity. i can't stop loving him, shoko." you looked at her with begging eyes, feeling tears pricking them.

"i'm a doctor who heals people's injuries, not a relationship therapist." she nonchalantly spat, her words smacking you back to reality.

"right." you said, tone laced with disappointment but you expected it. after all, there simply was no answer to your question, nor was there a solution to your problem.

"but, i can try." she gave you a cheeky smile, making you cock an eyebrow.

"how?" you asked, a little confused at what she was suggesting. shoko grabbed her coat, digging something out of her pocket as you watched her pull out a small card.

"what's that?" you asked with curious eyes, taking the card before examining it.

"suguru's number, well, it's his weird cult's main line. but, maybe it might come in handy. i don't know, do as you will with that information. i should get going before it rains." shoko smirked, looking at you with a playful glint before getting up and putting on her coat.

you walked her to the door as you watched her slip on her shoes, twisting the lock afterwards to unlock the door.

"you won't tell the higher-up or satoru about this, right?" you asked with a little caution, feeling a little uneasy.

"of course not, my time is pretty precious, you know? i'd never waste it on talking with those fools. oh and by the way, i never gave you this information. goodnight, y/n." she gave you a bright smile before waving at you as she walked out.

---

"hello, master geto suguru's assistant speaking, how may i help you?"

"uh, may i schedule an appointment with master geto? i've been dealing with sleep issues and would like to consult him."

"and what are these sleep issues like?"

"well.. um, of monstrous creatures, i think? and it feels like there's another entity residing with me."

"i see, well, you could come first thing in the morning tomorrow."

"ah, you see, these dreams tend to worsen at night. so, i was hoping if i could perhaps consult with him tonight?"

"at this hour? i doubt he would."

"could you ask, please? i'm willing to pay a pretty penny to him."

"please hold."

the line goes silent.

"he surprisingly agreed. master geto will be meeting you within the next hour at the location that will be texted to you."

"thank you."

---

your heart was beating rapidly in your chest as you skillfully sneaked out of your house, avoiding all the cctv cameras. it was pitch-black outside, the only source of light was from the dimly lit street lamps as the moon was covered by the thick storm clouds. you decided to take a cab to the designated location, which was a park close to shibuya, not wanting to loop ichiji and waste time to create lies for your cover-up.

it seemed like you arrived first, leaning against a tree as you waited for him to come. your hands were getting cold and sweaty, your nerves were eating you away as well.

what if things escalated and got out of hand? you had no backup plan for a potential attack. your cursed energy is drained due to your fatigue, and geto is a strong sorcerer himself, it'd be difficult fighting against him.

all these last minute questions buzzed in your mind, making you slowly regret your rash decision to contact him without any proper precautions.

was this a bad call?

"so, i was right. it is you." you heard a familiar voice speak within the distance, footsteps nearing you as you looked up to see a figure inching closer to you. the faint light emitting from the street lamp allowed you to see the figure that was dressed up in a purple hoodie and green cargos.

geto stood in front of you, taking off his hood as you saw his disheveled hair from being shielded inside the hood. it seemed as if he grew fond of the new hairstyle of keeping a half-up do.

he knew it was you?

"but, how?" you asked, a little shocked at how you failed at being so discreet. you didn't even speak to him nor give a name to his assistant.

"it was a hunch." geto smirked with his eyes closed, shrugging his shoulder. you looked down at your shoes, your fingers playing with the hem of your t-shirt as you didn't know what to talk about.

"so, why'd you wanna see me? surely, it's not to exorcise curses." he cut straight to the chase, raising a brow as he looked down at you.

"i don't know." you blurted out, not meeting his eyes. it was true, you didn't know why you called his stupid cult to set up an appointment with him at like one in the morning.

you didn't know why your mind couldn't wait and think this whole plan twice. you had nothing in particular to tell him, it was clear that geto didn't agree with your plans of him returning to jujutsu tech.

"do you think my time is something to waste?" he scoffed, making you wince at the brazenness of his tone. you let out a sigh, finally looking up at him with a furious glint in your eyes.

"could you stop acting like that?" you balled your fists in anger, making him narrow his eyes at you.

"like what?" he bluntly spat out.

"like we're strangers! how can you just forget everything that we've been through, huh? you were my best friend, for fuck's sake! we went to school together, hung out almost every day, went on missions together, celebrated each other's birthdays. all kind of that crap! how can you just stand here and look at me like i'm nothing more than a mere bug that you could step over and move on with your life?" your voice trembled as you spoke out your feelings, but, your voice never once wavered. you made sure that each of your words were loud and stern enough to drill into his skull.

"you wanna know why, y/n? i'll tell you why. it's 'cause you don't mean anything to me. i've cut all my ties between everyone back in that school. you are nothing more than a stranger to me, actually, you're being quite a nuisance to me now." geto said in a monotone, words piercing through your heart as it made tears sting in your eyes.

"lies... you're lying! cut the bullshit, suguru. you promised me that when we're both together, we're the strongest. even stronger than satoru!" you bellowed, feeling the rush of adrenaline as your body was being overwhelmed with all kinds of emotions.

pain, anger, sadness and frustration.

nothing was making sense, he wasn't making sense!

"yeah? well, welcome to reality, y/n. i don't need you anymore to be the strongest. in fact, i don't need anyone!" he yelled back at you, his face now displaying an irritated expression, but you continued to push his limits. you cupped his face in your hands, thinning your lips as you saw his face relaxing to your touch, going back to his resting face.

"i know, suguru. you never needed me or satoru to be the strongest. suguru... mistakes happen, it wasn't your fault." you spoke to him in a soft voice, caressing his cheeks. his eyes widened at your words, looking at you with a puzzled look. you felt his hands creep up before wrapping over yours.

"don't you dare speak to me as if you know everything. god, you disgust me." he roughly shoved your hands off of him, making you gasp, as it wasn't your intention to offend him. geto looked at you once more before turning his heels, walking away.

"sugu-"

"i'll let it slide this time, but i can't promise to be this generous if there's a next time. let's never meet again, y/n. unless... it's for killing one another." geto spoke with a low voice, his face turning to the side as he looked at you through his peripheral vision.

your mouth was wide open, not believing how crudely he could say those words and prance off. you gritted your teeth, running towards him before harshly grabbing his arm, pulling him towards you with all the strength in your body.

"what the f-"

"i'm sick and tired of your bullshit. you act like the world revolves around you, like you're the only one who's been through shit. yet, when it comes to facing things, you're nothing but a fucking coward!" you glared at him, your grip on him tightening to make sure he can't break free. geto scoffed, using his free hand to grab your jaw, pulling your face closer to him before looking down. you squirmed in his tight grasp, but he didn't budge.

"oh yeah? my words must've hurt your little feelings, didn't they, y/n?" he pouted, faux sympathy laced within his tone.

"shut up! you know i'm right. the incident with riko and toji had a toll on all of us, but it struck you the hardest." you tried your best to speak coherently through your squished cheeks.

"it did. what about it? you never did anything and neither did satoru. i took my own matter into my own hands. that's not cowardice, it was a leap to another direction, my redirection. silly little girls who chew on their emotions like you won't understand my motives." he smirked, making you wince as he squeezed your jaw, your hands coming up in defense to peel them off.

"redirection? ha! don't make me laugh. you wanna hate toji for killing an innocent girl who you were supposed to watch over? it'd make you a hypocrite, 'cause what makes you any different from him now?" you gave him a grin, bullets of sweat running down your forehead.

"guess you do have a brain somewhere in that stupid head of yours." he grumbled, releasing you from his hold before turning around to once again leave.

even if it meant that you'd have to chase him to the end of the earth, you're more than willing to do so.

you lightly jogged behind him before catching up, now standing in front of him as you blocked his space. you could sense him slowly getting annoyed, hand dug inside his pocket.

"don't you know that it's rude to leave mid-conversation, master geto?" you threw in a slight tease, trying to ease up the situation, but that might've irritated him even more.

"seriously, what is your problem? move." geto sternly ordered, his patience running low. but you didn't bother lifting a single muscle, staring back at him.

"no."

"i'm gonna kill you."

"okay."

"i'm being serious, y/n. go home."

"no."

geto grumbled at your stubborn behavior, scratching his head as he didn't want to use jujutsu against you when he knew that you were bluffing around.

"fine! then what do you want from me?!" he was fed up, eyes boring holes into your body.

"i need answers. i want... no, i need you to tell me everything that you went through after that incident." you replied, eyes looking into his with determination and perseverance. geto's eyes locked with yours, your knees turning into jelly.

you tried to look for some form of truth in his eyes, but you only see nothing but a vast abyss. those same eyes that once twinkled on those hot summer days where you spent being a bunch of reckless teens doing stupid shit was gone.

suddenly, it began to rain. a few drops turned into pouring rain, making your clothes wet along with his. you saw him take in a deep breath before averting his gaze.

"goodnight, y/n." geto pulled up his hood in order to avoid his hair from getting wet as he avoided your request, deciding to walk in the opposite direction.

you stood frozen in your steps, not bothering to run after him. you watched him slowly get smaller and smaller in the distance, just like you did two weeks ago.

you felt your heart shattering to pieces, watching your best friend, and the person who owns your heart walk further towards the dark path. the sickening and thick feeling of guilt has always embraced you ever since geto left jujutsu tech for good, the feeling of being responsible for his outcome always washed over you.

you were his best friend after all, yet you failed him. you watched him spiral down to his downfall, still, you turned a blind eye. it was foolish, you were young and so stupidly dumb.

of course, you didn't know any better at the tender age of sixteen. hell, you didn't even understand your own emotions, let alone anyone else's. nonetheless, after that whole incident, there was a split between the connection you, geto and gojo shared.

gojo coped by training until he passed out cold on the ground, geto resorted to self-isolationism, and you?

you'd disappear to god knows where. it wasn't a lie that you were a very rash person, your decisions being impulsive. after you touched school grounds, you booked a ticket to italy and stayed there for a couple of weeks.

no one questioned it, none of your friends.

of course, yaga soon tracked you down and threatened you to either come back or else the outcomes wouldn't be in your favor if he had to go there to get you.

so, when you did come back, gojo seemed as if nothing ever happened. meanwhile, geto's condition looked extremely poor. however, you selfishly ignored the red alarms in your head and thought maybe he was still going through it and needed space.

not to mention that you haven't properly healed from that incident and seeing how satoru was doing a little too well, neither has he.

at that time, you didn't want to bring up those events nor even trigger those horrific memories for you or the others. the mere thought of it made you have an instant panic attack. so, you chose to ignore it and hoped that maybe geto could recover on his own.

but, that's where your mistake was.

you should've asked. you should've been by his side and tell him that it wasn't his fault. you should've been there for him.

all these should've and could've's, yet nothing could ever fix what was already broken.

which is why your decision was final. you already lost him once and you weren't gonna lose him for a second time.

you woke up from your trance, picking up your legs as you ran as fast as you could. surely he couldn't have walked that far in the span of five minutes. you ran like a lunatic in the pouring rain, your clothes sticking to your body. although your vision was blurry with a mix of your tears and the rain, you were able to make out his figure, which was leisurely walking at a slow pace.

without thinking twice, you crashed into his back as you wrapped your arms around his waist. you felt geto jolt from the unexpected impact, his body freezing on spot.

"what the fuck?" geto breathed out, his heart nearly exploding from the shock. he looked down and recognized your hands, exhaling in relief that it was just you.

"do you remember when you'd summon your stingray shikigami every time i'd whine to you about my feet hurting from a long mission?" you sniffled, your words slightly muffled into the cloth of his hoodie, but geto had keen ears.

"yeah, you were pretty aggressive about it too." he snorted, making you break out into a small laugh.

"i sometimes lied about my feet hurting. your stingray shikigami can't carry more than two people at a time. i wanted to spend time with you alone." you snuggled into his back, squeezing him gently in your arms to get impossibly closer to him.

you could vividly remember how you and geto would spend hours surfing the sky on the curse, overseeing different people and how they lived their normal lives.

"did you chase me all the way here to confess that?" geto laughed, making you let out a deep sigh as you loosened your grasp on him. this allowed geto to turn around, now facing you.

he took note of how beautifully destroyed you looked under the dimly lit streets. your hair sticking to your neck and forehead, cheeks rosey red, eyes puffed up from crying and lips swollen from biting them so much.

you looked up at him, his face now wet from the rain as his hood was long put down, his hair messy and wet as well. your heart bled little by little as you looked at his drained out face. in your mind, you thanked god that it was raining or else he could've seen how your tears were like a nonstop waterfall.

"i'm sorry." you choked out, looking at him with glossy eyes. geto raised an eyebrow, slightly confused at your sudden apology.

"what?" he asked.

"i'm sorry for being a horrible friend. i knew that you weren't holding yourself up well. when i came back, i saw how thin you got, your dark eyebags, those fake smiles... i noticed it all. yet, i didn't say anything because i was selfishly thinking about my own sanity. i'm sorry for not being there when you needed someone the most, suguru." your knees gave out, collapsing on the ground as you sat on your knees while crying into your palms.

geto's eyes widened at the revelation, unable to move a single limb as his brain tried to process your words. he never craved for attention nor did he ever raise a hand for help, but, he always hoped that someone saw through those fake smiles while he died a little inside every day.

and you did.

geto never resented you or gojo in the slightest when he chose his own path, it wasn't something he did out of hatred for you two or anything against anyone in jujutsu tech. it was his brain that twisted everyone's words, from toji's last words that were uttered to him along with yuki's ramble about sorcerers.

it was during the wrong place at the wrong time.

whether you were there with him or not, there was no saving geto suguru.

he crouched down to level with you, watching how your body shook as you cried uncontrollably in your hands.

"i don't hate you, y/n. and... whatever that i went through and the outcome of it isn't your fault either, so stop blaming yourself." geto spoke in a gentle voice, peeling your hands off of your face to look at you. with tear-filled heavy eyes, you opened them and looked at him through your fuzzy vision.

his voice was now like the suguru you used to know, so soft and honey-like. there wasn't any malice or anger rooted into his words or tone.

"i could've stopped you from leaving." you reasoned, choking on your breaths as you tried to calm down, wanting to hold a collected conversation now that he's willing to open up.

"i don't know about that." he thinned his lips, looking down at the cemented ground.

"everything fell apart after you left. satoru tries to hide his pain, but i could see right through him. he doesn't wanna talk about it. then shoko... she didn't even know the full story until much later and i don't think she's coping too well even now. everyone's a mess because you left, suguru. you were the glue that held us together." you confessed, making him pause for a second.

"and i wore off, yet, no one put me back together. this path that i chose—it was the only way i found relief. it held me together at my lowest, y/n." geto's voice shook, your throat going dry as you could see him slowly break in front of you.

"suguru." you called out his name, not even knowing how to respond to such heavy words. he stood back up while collecting his composure back, extending a hand to help you up. you accepted, the skinship between his flesh with yours sent electric shocks all over your body.

"i'm glad that even after all these years, you still have the heart to love and care about someone like me, y/n. however, if you met up with me tonight with the intention of trying to convince me to come back, then i'm sorry because it won't be happening." he gave you a sad smile before fixing your soaking wet hair that was sticking to your face. you shuddered at his touch, looking at him in disappointment.

"i know." you bit your lips, preventing a cry from escaping your throat. geto nodded at your acknowledgment.

"you should head home before you catch a cold, y/n." he spoke with genuine concern, making your stomach flutter. you chewed on your bottom lip, not wanting for it to end this way.

"run away with me, suguru." you suddenly blurted out, your own mind shocked at the suggestion that left your lips. geto's eyes were now the size of two full moons, his mouth wide open.

"what?" he gasped, completely flabbergasted at your ridiculous suggestion.

"i mean it. let's run away, together." you gave him a crazy look, holding his hands as you gave him an insane smile with pleading eyes.

"are you out of your mind, y/n? did you drink before coming here?" geto asked in shock, but there was no foul scent of liquor radiating off of your body or mouth.

you were completely sober and in the right state of mind.

"i can't watch you destroy yourself like this anymore, suguru. this path that you call your redirection is slowly killing you. i can see it in your eyes. you kill people not because it's fun or you want to, but because it's a coping mechanism from what you witnessed. if you go back to jujutsu tech, you'll be executed without hesitation. so, why bother living a life like this? let's start fresh somewhere else in this huge world." you explained your idea, as each word leaving your lips made you sound even more insane.

were you even thinking this through? you're asking him, a mass murderer, to runaway with you, one of the strongest jujutsu sorcerers to be born in this era that's supposed to help humanity.

"you're willing to throw away your life for someone like me? no, i can't accept this." he shook his head, declining your offer.

"do you think this is a life that i want to live? a life where i'm chained to the responsibility of saving people, to fight life and death face to face every day, to pretend that everything's fine? i've reached my limit, suguru, and so have you." you argued, making him bitterly chuckle.

"do you have any idea how many people i've killed with these hands? if blood was thick enough to stain, my hands would be darker than red. do you still want to forgive a sinner like me?" he shamefully admitted, an attempt to make you disgusted of him or even burn in hatred.

he wanted you to loathe him for his crimes, to have an immense amount of resentment towards him. but, instead, you treated him like a delicate petal.

you brought his hands up to your face before kissing each of his palms. geto's eyes widened at your sudden action, not expecting you to react this way.

"i'll bear your sins with you. you're not alone anymore, suguru. i'll follow you into the deep pits of hell if i have to." you cupped your face with his hands, staring deep into his eyes with a determined glint, making him speechless.

that was the last straw, those very few words that you uttered to him in a matter of seconds was all that it took for geto's walls to come crumbling down. you watched his eyes well with tears before he bit his top lip to stop a painful cry from leaving his throat.

"it's okay, sugu. let it out." you encouraged, rubbing comforting circles on the back of his hand with your thumb.

"i-i.... i swear, y/n, i didn't take my eyes off of her even for a second. i even offered to take her away from the mission so that she could live a normal life. i didn't know when that shitbag entered, i didn't even sense him the slightest. one minute she was smiling and then... i see her on the ground bleeding." geto cried, trying his best to speak in between his sobs as you attentively listened to him. your heart shattered to millions of pieces as you watch him break down in front of you.

"i know, suguru. it's not your fault, come here." you closed the distance between you two, hugging him tightly as geto buried his face in the crook of your neck, the pouring rain continuing to rain on you guys with no mercy.

"satoru definitely blames me. i screwed up, y/n!" he added, making you shake your head as you disagreed.

"he doesn't, suguru. he knew the extremity of the situation and both him and i were nearly on the verge of death. it's not your fault, suguru. whether it was me or satoru in your place instead, riko would've died regardless." you comforted, stroking his hair as you tried to calm him down. he pulled back, looking at you as his eyes were now red and puffy from crying.

"i felt like i killed her and because i found no escape in that pit of guilt, i tried to derive relief by killing even more people. i.. i didn't even wanna kill them, but i did it for that feeling of finally being able to breathe. i can't do this anymore, y/n, i can't! absorb, exorcise, ingest, absorb, exorcise, ingest! i can't fucking do it anymore. i can't even enjoy a meal because of how pungent the taste is left on my tongue. the taste of curses, like a rag wiped with shit and vomit. i'm tired, y/n." he rambled, finally opening up about his true emotions. seeing him like this only broke you more, seeing him this panicked, scared and shame-filled.

he was just a kid.

"i know... i know, suguru. it must've been so hard on you and you've suffered enough. it's time to tap out and find happiness, sugu." you stroked his wet cheek, feeling him tremble under your touch.

"why would you do it for someone like me?" geto whispered, his voice cracking as a lump formed in his throat.

"because i love you, suguru. as my best friend and as a person. i loved you ever since we were kids. i can't live without you and i learned that the hard way through fourteen lonely and miserable years. me living a happy life is a life with you, sugu." you confessed your feelings, watching his eyes soften.

"i love you too, y/n." he smiled through his tears, arms wrapping around your waist as he pulled you closer to him. your heart was filled with content, an overwhelming wave of emotions struck you.

you pulled his hood over his head before pulling his head down. leaning in towards his face, your lips just centimeters away from his. geto closed the distance between you two as he grabbed the back of your head and pulled you in for a kiss. your hands clutched harder onto the fabric of his hood, your lips perfectly molded against his soft ones.

you could taste a mix of the rain along with both of your tears, kissing him hard in the pouring rain. geto walked forwards with you still in his hold, your back now hitting against a tree as he pressed his body into yours. the warmth radiated off of him to you, making you whimper.

geto couldn’t wrap his head around this new feeling which set his soul on fire. his mouth was producing more saliva than usual, like how you’d salivate when you eat good food. the awful taste of curses no longer lingered on his tongue, instead, now replaced by the taste of your sweet cherry flavored lips.

it nearly made him cry.

he tilted his head, angling his lips to kiss you deeper and harder. you could feel his body shudder, lips shaky as he kissed you like this was his last time with you.

you let go of his hood, the wind blowing it down which made you tangle your fingers into his wet ebony locks. geto's tongue swiped against your bottom lips and you gasped, allowing him to enter his tongue.

the kiss was full of need and love, the both of you touching one another and pressing onto each other impossibly closer. you both finally pulled away, gasping for air as you looked up at him, a warm smile painted on his lips.

you went on your tippy-toes, pressing gentle kisses all over his face. you kissed his forehead, cheeks, the tip of his nose, his chin and finally; you pressed a tender and loving kiss on his lips. geto chuckled at your actions, enjoying the affection he was receiving.

"so, what do you say?" you asked once again, looking up at him with hopeful eyes. geto looked down at you, seeing how your eyes glimmered with anticipation and it warmed his heart to see how much you wanted this.

not for you, but for him.

geto gave you a cheeky grin, gently grabbing your chin before leaning down to press a kiss on your lips.

"let's run away, y/n."

---

"happy anniversary, y/n! open it, baby." geto eagerly encouraged, his eyes sparkling as he placed the small, neatly wrapped gift on your lap. you chuckled at your boyfriend's adorable behavior.

it's been about five years since you both left behind your tragic lives, finding escape in the peaceful city of venice in italy. you both left that night, in your sopping wet clothes, not even bothering to go back for your stuff because it'd be too risky.

these past five years were nothing but a dream that finally came into reality. no more curses, no more exorcisms, no more death or tragedy. you and geto were just two normal people living your lives.

sometimes you sit alone in your balcony and think about how your life did a whole three-sixty. all those lonely nights that consumed you with your own guilt, self-loathe and tire... was no longer an issue.

instead, you slept peacefully besides your lover, wrapped up in the soft silk duvet that smelled like a mixture of you and him, indulging in his warmth.

of course, it was never that easy in the beginning. you both still suffered from very traumatic dreams, especially geto. you'd wake up in the middle of the night finding him crying quietly or having a panic attack.

but, you were always there for him, holding him like a precious gem as you cradled him in your embrace. you stroked his hair, kissed his tears away and held him tight.

you healed geto suguru.

you spent five happy and peaceful years with the love of your life, as if you both started from a clean slate. they say that hair holds memories, so, geto cut his hair back into his shoulder-length wolfcut. you dyed your hair along with cutting it short.

both you and geto owned a small restaurant that was pretty famous with various japanese cuisines.

it was definitely a new beginning.

"oh my god! this is adorable, sugu!!" you squealed, nearly falling off of the gondola as you held up the bunny plushie before hugging it. geto looked at you with hearts in his eyes, watching his cute girlfriend gush over the toy.

"there's a surprise for you inside its carrot." he gave you a cheeky smile, making you hum in confusion as you examined the carrot. you noticed it had a little zipper, tugging it before shoving a finger inside.

you felt something thin and cold, like a ri-

your eyes widened at the realization, tears pooling in your eyes as you looked into geto's eyes. the familiar softness and adoration that he's always held for you shone through his beautiful onyx eyes.

"pull it out, my love." his voice was like a whisper, your tears streaming down your cheeks as you pulled out the gorgeous diamond ring.

"if someone were to ask me what is a moment in my life that i never regretted, i'd answer that it would be every moment that i spent with you. i don't think i'll ever be able to repay you for all that you've done for me, as my best friend and as my lover. you saved me, honey. because of you... i had a second chance to life. thank you for everything, y/n. i love you so much, so, so, so, much. there isn't enough languages nor words on this earth that exists for me to express my love for you. which is why i want to keep loving you until the end of time. will you marry me, y/n?" geto caressed your face, watching you give him a bright smile as you cried tears of joy.

"yes! make me your wife, geto suguru!" you yelled in happiness, surely to have piss off the italian neighbors who were trying to sleep at this hour.

but, you didn't care. you just got engaged with the love of your life.

geto chuckled at your reaction, slipping on the ring before pulling you in for a kiss. all of a sudden, you felt wet droplets on your head, making you both pull away and look at each other in shock.

"it's raining." you said the obvious, making geto smirk before once again pressing a gentle kiss on your lips.

"it's a sign that we're meant to be together forever, y/n." he smiled against your lips, making you giggle at his superstitious reasoning as you pecked his lips.

after your little date, both you and geto reached home, changing out of your wet clothes into pajamas. you walked outside the bathroom, watching your fiancé place down two hot cups of tea on the table before sitting down on the sofa.

you took in a moment to soak in the image of how gorgeous geto was. sometimes, you questioned if you even deserved to be with such a beautiful man inside out.

"so, you gonna stand there and watch me or come here to get a better view?" geto teased, patting his lap as your cheeks tinted red. you giggled, walking over to him before sitting on his lap, placing your head on his shoulder as you watched the diamond sparkle under the light.

"this is like your hundredth time looking at it, honey." you can feel the deep vibration of his laughter against your chest, making you hum.

"it still feels like a dream, a long dream that i never wanna wake up from." you admit, gawking at the ring before nuzzling your face in the crook of his neck, pressing soft kisses.

"this is our happy ending, y/n. it's just you and me, together forever." he whispered, making you smile as you raised your head to meet his eyes.

"that's all i need." you answered, kissing him on the lips.

geto stared at you as if you hung the moon and stars, eyes twinkling with love and adoration. he couldn't get enough of your voice, your touch and your presence in general. you were the light in his life, the person who kept him sane.

you rested your head on his chest, your arms wrapped around his waist while he played with your hair. you listened to his heartbeat, feeling yours syncing with his as the gentle thumping sound lulled you to sleep.

"do you miss them?" geto suddenly asked, making you hum.

"yeah. do you?" you asked him the same question. you felt his chest heave before relaxing, a heavy sigh leaving his lips.

"yeah." he softly answered.

"do you think satoru's married by now?" you thought out loud, making geto snort.

"i highly doubt it. he's too much of a manwhore." geto snickered, referring to how gojo was a player by heart.

"so were you! getting all the ladies back in high school. but, look at you now, stuck with me forever." you looked at him with a smirk, making him laugh before pecking the tip of your nose.

"that's 'cause you're the only lady my heart was meant for." he cheesily answered, making you squirm in his embrace.

"what about shoko?" you asked, since you were on the topic of your old friends.

"eh? hopefully with a boyfriend if lung cancer hasn't taken her out already." geto nonchalantly responded, making you gasp as you slapped his arm.

"suguru!" you scolded at his brash words.

"ow! i'm being logical." he winces, even though it wasn't a painful impact.

"i hope shoko's doing well. if it wasn't for her, none of this would've happened." you smiled, reminiscing back to that night when you last saw her.

"hm, you should give her a call then. i doubt she changed her number, she's too lazy for that." geto suggested, making your eyes widen.

"huh? wouldn't that be too risky?" you looked at him as if he grew two heads.

"probably not, i'm sure she predicted something like this." he shrugged.

"i'll see. i don't think satoru has changed his number either. you should give him a call in that case, suguru." you caressed his bottom lip.

"maybe. i'll see." he copied your answer, making you chuckle.

a lot has happened between these past five years, both you and geto took it one step at a time. maybe one day, you both can finally muster up the courage to catch up with your old friends.

but for now, no one else needed to exist in the world that you both created that was meant for you two only.

[lorsdelapluie]

The doctor's diary.

Pairing: sylus x female reader

Genre: Dark shit going on. Including smut. Please read the content warning.

Word count: 4000+ words.

Content warning: mdni, explicit sexual content (but its chill for now), spoiler warning, mention of human experimentation, cult activities, my own twisted thoughts and theories are literally making this way darker than LADS already is. An oc of mine will appear more often in the next chapters, hate him guys, he is not a good guy. English is not my first language sorry for any mistakes.

Note: This chapter ended up longer than I expected somehow. And it is the first one of a three chapter fanfiction. I tend to write nasty stuff, sex wise but also everything else wise so please be prepared for anything literally. The character Castiel that you will meet in this chapter is my own oc that I made up specially for the LADS universe. I hope you will enjoy to hate him.

Chapter 1:

“You want me to go in the N109 zone ? I thought we weren’t allowed to go th-” 

“We are aware you have been going back and forth between Linkon city and the N109 Zone.” 

You pinched your lips at the words coming from Jenna’s mouth, your hand resting on your hunter’s watch. The times you forgot to turn off your watch comes back to light one by one in your mind. Brushing it off everytime you thought that the HQ wouldn't have the time to check on your status. Her arms were still crossed over her chest as she looked at you straight in the face with her dark gray eyes. You felt like a kid underneath this disappointed glare. You opened your lips to say something, to defend yourself but she raised her hand to stop you from doing so. 

“However, you have mainly been doing this outside your working hours. So it is your private life, and you may keep it a secret if you wish. But since you have been going there multiple times, we figured you might be aware of what is going on there better than we do.” She sighed. You guessed that she wasn't the one behind this idea. Maybe some higher ups that you never had the opportunity to meet.

“So this is why we thought you might be the best suited agent for this mission.”

“Oh uhm… Thank you for entrusting me.” 

“Despite this little disagreement, I am aware that you are one of our best agents. However if you think you might need help, you can still ask Xavier to accompany you. Although he has been quite busy lately.”

“No no no ! Do not bother Xavier for this. I am more than capable of handling missions on my own. As for the mission… Can I ask you what is it that I am meant to do ?” 

“Of course. I wouldn’t let you go into the Lions’ den without information.” She said as she slid her hand on her desk, taking a handful of documents stored inside a pocket and handing them to you. “We need you to participate in an auction for charity.”

“For charity…” you mumbled. You never thought you would see the day of a charity auction being held in the a zone so… uncharitable. You start looking through the papers in your hand, brows furrowed in confusion.

“We are as surprised as you look. As nice as the thoughts around this event are, we are particularly interested in one of the prizes that we wish you would purchase for us.”

Your eyes land on the auction picture of a diary, its cover is made of leather and the pages look old, teared up for some of them. “A diary ?”

“This diary seemingly belonged to one of the most wanted people of our organization. A doctor who previously worked here, in Linkon city, and got too deep in his interest for protocores and their links with people’s evol.” 

“He experimented on humans…” you mumbled as you read the notes next to the picture that the intel team had written for you. "On children..."

“He indeed did. And we would like to prevent this diary from falling into the wrong hands. This is where your part comes in. Buying this diary away from that zone.”

You nodded as you guessed the objective of your mission long before she started explaining the reason why they would go fetch that book in the first place. Plus, that diary might bring you answers you are seeking about yourself. And as you remember your partner's jewel like gaze, about Sylus too. You then raised yours towards Jenna, closing the file between your hands and straightening your back. 

“If you will allow me. I’m going to do the best I can to fulfill this mission.” 

“I know you will. The auction is in three days. I hope it gives you enough time to gather any belongings and travel to a safe place in the N109 zone… If such a place exists.” 

“Do not worry about me. I will be safe.”

You smile as Jenna raises her hand slowly with a peaceful expression as she dismisses you from her office. You exit the room, slowly closing the door behind you before walking to your desk, gathering your laptop and phone on the furniture. You then put the file inside your bag as you were already leaving the building. You would take the time to analyze everything once you were safely in the N109 Zone.

Phone in hand you immediately texted Xavier to let him know that you were leaving for a mission in the outskirts of your beloved city. As your thumbs were patting the screen of your phone, it suddenly started to vibrate. Soon enough the icon of Sylus appeared on your phone, a silly picture of him you took when he dozed off while watching a musical a few weeks prior. You frowned at the VERY convenient timing that he always had and picked up, raising your phone to your ear. 

“Yes ?”

“The twins are going to pick you up at 5 this afternoon. Will you have enough time to be prepared before then?” 

“Don’t tell me you hacked Jenna’s computer again. How many times do I have to tell you to not do that?” You frowned, faking or maybe wanting to be angry about that breach of your private life once again.

“There is no need to get angry at me. Be angry at the twins all you want though. They are the ones who insisted on checking up on you while I was away.” 

“How do they even know how to hack-” you stopped in your tracks as you heard your voice the sound of a bike motor in the background of the call. “Are you calling me while driving ?”

“Now this is a reason you can get mad at me for.” he chuckles as you let out a frustrated sound. “Do not worry, sweetie, I have my helmet on. Just checking on you through earbuds.” 

“Unsafe still. Your attention should be fully on the road.” you finally started walking towards the road that leads to your apartment, going through the usual route that takes you near along a river. “I thought you said you would be the one picking me up after Luke nearly got us in a car crash last time.” 

“I’m sorry to disappoint you, sweetie. But I do have some work meetings that need to be attended to." After a moment of quiet, he continued. “I trust Kieran will be the one driving you three back at home. I will be back before dinner.” 

“Fine. Be careful on your way to your meet up… I will see you later.” you could hear a chuckle, and the picture of Sylus’ grin appeared in your mind. Before he could answer, you hung up. 

You sighed as you crossed the street, pushing the door of your building entrance after entering the password on the door’s pad. Slowly you slid the phone inside your bag, totally forgetting about warning your colleague, and your friends, of the mission that will probably won’t let you have time for chit chat. Once you are inside your place, you quickly pull out a bag from the closet in the entrance, walking towards your bedroom to pack your essentials for the next few days. 

An hour flew by without you realizing it before your phone rang. Luke. As you picked up you hear his cheerful voice coming from outside your building, you walked towards your opened window staring down. 

“Miss ! Your carriage is waiting for you !” the masked man yells waving at you from below, catching glances from other people passing by. 

“Get inside the car ! Can’t you see people are staring at you Luke ?” you frowned shooing him away with your hand. 

“Heeeh. I’m hurt ! Are you embarrassed by me perhaps ?” You wondered if Sylus teasing was coming from spending too much time with them or the other way round. 

You frowned not wanting to let your mind wander at that thought, hanging up and closing the window before picking your bag on your bed and leaving your apartment. Once downstairs you were greeted with no one but the black car with tinted windows that was just in front of the house, without giving it much thoughts you walked to the back of the car and climbed inside. 

After exchanging proper greetings with the twins, and a short trip from Linkon city to the twins’ boss base. 

It was night time now and you were settled down in one of Sylus couch in his apartments. You were going through the file once more, eyeing the clock in front of you from time to time. The meal was soon to be put down in the living room and you were definitely imagining eating alone at this rate. You sighed as you let your head roll on one of the sides of the couch, closing your eyes as you let yourself drift to the sound of the gramophone playing the music you put on earlier. 

“Are you asleep ?” a whisper came above the sound of the music as a finger brushed against your cheek. 

Your eyes opened and you looked up to the figure towering over you. Sylus gazed at you as he was leaning with one hand on the couch watching you slowly wake up from your nap. You slowly straight up, your files sliding from your chest and before you could react, Sylus caught it and put it down on the table next to you.

“Mmm no.” 

“Sure you weren’t.” he smiled as he sat on the carpet next to the couch. “Don’t move.” 

“But the dinner…” you mumbled still drowsy. 

“Dinner is cold by now. I was late and you fell asleep. We are in no hurry anymore.” he says as he takes off his jacket, putting it down on the chair behind him, soon followed by his gloves. You sighed knowing that the man next you wouldn't budge. 

“How did your meeting go ?” you asked as you traced every of his movements with your gaze. 

“Productive. But a waste of time at the same time. We wasted 2 hours waiting for someone who never came. I honestly thought I was going to come back really early.” 

“Would have been better…” you muttered.

Sylus' head turned to look at you with that same grin of his when he catches you being off guard. “Missing me I see.” 

“Whatever.” 

“I missed you too, sweetie.” he muttered as his face was now a few inches away from your face. And as always Sylus was the one to close that distance, his teeth started nibbling gently on your lower lip as he kissed you. His right hand comes to brush a strand of hair away from your face. "I missed you a lot."

There was always this conflict inside of you when you felt the lips of Sylus on yours. A shyness that you wished you didn’t have, pushing you to turn your face away. However the drumming of your heart everytime his lips were on yours made you feel safe. Safe and cared for. The man suddenly started pushing his tongue against your lips, deepening the kiss drawing a sound from you in a sigh. 

“Knowing that you were waiting for me here. Probably lying down on that bed or on that couch…” he muttered as he kissed your lips once again then your cheek and the back of your ear. “I wished I could have just left to join you here quicker.”

“You are… so dirty Sylus.” you whispered as you felt his hand slide on your shirt to start unbuttoning it. When Sylus admitted his excitement for you it always made you shiver. Not that it was rare for him to be so blunt. But being wanted and knowing that he was thinking of you that way, in places where he shouldn’t. God, he was the devil in person and he loved playing with his favorite person. 

“If you want to blame me for the tension rising in this room. Feel free to do so…” he said, lips leaving a trailing of kisses from your neck towards your chest. “I would enjoy that.” 

Soon his lips were not the only thing on your skin, his tongue traveled against you with wet kisses. Teeth sometimes nibble on you, trying to mark you as his. However he knew better than to do that or he would have been met with a warning look. Instead his hand slides away the remaining of your top clothes, revealing your skin to his red eyes ravishing each corner of your body, everytime. 

“Your skin is covered in goosebumps. Are you getting worked up sweetie ?” he says smiling, his lips resting against your chest. A thumb sliding against one of your nipples. “I bet that if I slide my hand in your pants, I might find it dripping with excitement.” 

“You are too sure of yourself.” you said trying to keep your voice steady as his lips brushed against your other nipple. 

A low chuckle vibrates through his body at your answer. “Always so feisty, kitten.” he murmured, pinching with two of his fingers the nipple he had in his hand. 

“Then… Shall we take a look ?” 

As soon as the words left his mouth, you closed your legs, preventing his hand from sliding under your pants and between your thighs. His hand stopped mid-way, resting against your lower body. He slowly quirked up his face, arching a brow with a smile. 

“Getting shy ?” he asks, fingers fondling with the zipper of your pants. He soon pulled it down. “You know I don’t particularly enjoy you playing shy. I’d rather have my feisty kitten biting and fighting me than hiding away.” 

Asshole you thought. 

“Should I take out the ropes like last time ? Pull your legs apart ? I thought you learnt how to behave.” he said with a smile. “Or did you enjoy this so much that you want to try again ?” 

Losing control from time to time was nice. But not tonight, you needed the contrary. You need to feel in control of your body. The next few days were gonna be stressful. One of your hands dared to come rest on his cheek as your legs opened against his hand. 

“Good girl..” he said, his lips coming to nuzzle against your hand. And as usual when a kiss comes first teeth soon follow. His fingers able to slide under your pants and underwear come to slide in between your folds feeling the wetness of yourself under his burning gaze. 

“Just as I thought.” he smiles as one of his fingers pushes inside you and you answer with a moan. His lips nibbling on the flesh of your palm, eyelashes brushing against your fingers as he starts going back and forth with his fingers inside of you. 

Your head resting against the pillow of the couch, eyes closing as another moan came from between your lips as he pushed another finger inside of you. The fingers of your hand slowly extended to grasp onto strands of the man’s hair, while the other came gripping on the back of the couch. 

“That’s it. Let yourself go, kitten.” A growl soon followed when you tug at his hair when his thumb rested against your clit making small circles as he never stopped pumping his fingers in and out of you. 

You arched your back, the stimulation of his fingers rubbing against that one G spot inside of you and his thumb massaging your clit made you see stars. You tug on his hair once again in another sound, coming under his watchful gaze. 

“Sylus…” 

“It’s okay. I’m here. I’m always here.” he answered, coming to put a kiss on your forehead. 

Once he pulls his fingers out of you, he slides a hand under you to carry you against him. You look up at him, arms sliding around his neck to secure yourself. 

“And you ?” 

“Oh ? Are you asking for more, sweetie ?”” he chuckles as you frown at him. His lips slowly come against your own to kiss you once more. “This is what I wanted. Nothing more for tonight. But I can not promise you anything just like this for tomorrow.” A devilish smile spreads on his lips. 

“Did you have a shower already ?” 

“I did… Earlier.” you answered as you rested your head against his shoulder. “What about food ?” 

“You are hungry aren’t you.” He said as he settled you down on the bed. “Tell you what. I will come bring you some food and you can enjoy some while I take a shower. Sounds good ?” 

“Sounds good. I will try to not eat everything.” You smile. 

And just like that three days passed. Now you were standing in front of the door, arms crossed on your chest and Sylus blocking your way with his hands on his hips. 

“I will not change my mind Sylus. I need to attend this auction alone.”

“What if I’d like to be charitable tonight?”

You scoff. “Please. You just want to keep your eyes on me.”

“I want to make sure you are safe and sound.” 

“And I told you I can defend myself. If the HQ knows that I am attending an official mission with the boss of Onychinus, I could get in trouble. Because they will keep an eye on me ! Just like you do.” 

Sylus sighs. You could be so stubborn. He slowly raised his hand to pinch his nose’s bridge. “Take Mephisto with you at least. He could help you in any case of an emergency.” 

“That noisy little…” you were met by a glare that was telling you to not push your luck so you resigned. “Okay.”

“Good.” As soon as you agreed to his terms, he snapped his fingers and Mephisto almost appeared on your shoulder. Resting his claws against the fabric of your dress. “I will drive you there. And I will be there again to pick you up soon after Mephisto lets me know the auction has ended. Understood ?” 

“Yes mom.”

He chuckles before pushing the door open, letting you leave the safe base first to get to the car parked in front of the entrance. He soon followed and got inside the car to start driving across the dark streets of the N109 Zone. Mephisto was awfully quiet, head turning around at each corner, as if the bird was already on a mission analyzing what was around him. You stared mindlessly at the street lamps barely shining some cold light on the pavement beneath them as you fondle with your bag between your fingers. 

You were stressed. Stressed to not be able to bring back that diary. What if you came back in Linkon city with nothing to offer but the news that another potential monster had this fucking diary between their hands. How many children would have to suffer from experiments and be kept in the dark before they all stopped ? Without realizing it, you started clenching on your accessory. And the hand of Sylus left the gearbox to come rest on your thigh in an attempt to soothe you. 

“Do not be anxious. People coming to those kinds of fake charity auctions hunt down people like you. Nice face, seemingly weak and rich.” he said. “Mephisto is a sign that you are under my watch but he can’t dissuade them from doing anything if they are crazy enough to try.” 

“So I need to appear confident…” 

“Exactly. I know you can do it. After all, you showed me your acting skills more than once.” he pressed his thumb against your thigh as he kept looking at the road in front of you. “I’m not here physically but Mephisto is my eyes. And I’ll keep an eye on you.”

“I know.” you sighed before taking another deep breath. It will be okay, you thought, Sylus is right. You had to have faith in yourself and in him. It will go by so quickly, you won’t even realize it. 

The car slows down and you are now parked in front of an immense building, maybe even taller than some of Sylus’s ones. You look up from your seat as Mephisto mimics you. “Where are we ?”

“The place of the auction. The HQ of the Eurydike cult. Weird bunch of fuckers.” 

You hummed before pushing the door open, before closing it you looked at your partner flashing him a smile. “I will be back.” He softly smiles back waving, asking you to be careful once more. And you closed the door, walking towards the entrance of the building, taking out the invitation out of your bag to show the bodyguards that you were allowed to enter the place. 

As soon as you stepped foot inside, you were faced with a display of wealthiness and laughter coming from every corner of the giant hall. You were taken aback, thinking for a second that the only man you thought was this wealthy in the N109 Zone was Sylus. The hall was made of black marble with golden cracks, contrasted by high white walls that reflected the light of the candlesticks. Hanging banners here and there with an unknown insignia, and false plants hanging in green. You looked around, looking for a sign indicating the location of the meeting. But unfortunately the place was badly indicated, this auction was probably a place of regulars. However you spotted some people whispering about getting their place already to get closer to the stage, and you figured it would be the best idea to follow them around. Which you did. Everyone here was accompanied, and you were alone. Well accompanied but by a bird that started to get agitated. The sound of your heels against the marble under your steps was ringing in your mind. You stopped near a waiter, grabbing a glass of champagne. You needed to relax, you needed to look like you belonged here. Alcohol might help you settle down. 

So you went to sit at the first row, crossing your legs as Mephisto left your shoulder to take place on the chandelier hanging above your head. You could see some of the objects being displayed on the stage in front of you. Vases, stuffed animals, jewelry and… Wait. Was that one of Raphayel’s painting ? You frowned while taking your phone out of your purse to take a picture. Before you could press the button, you felt a tap on your shoulder. 

You flinched, turning around. “Miss. Sorry to bother you but you are not allowed to take pictures in this room.” A man with green eyes gazed upon you. He was tall, his hair and lashes almost hiding the gaze that you could feel burning on your face. His face did not seem upset, nor angry. Good… The last thing you needed was to attract angry people. 

You smiled. “Sorry, I just wanted to make sure that painting would interest my husband before I start bidding on it.”  

“Oh ?” He looked up at the stage staring at the painting of the seashore painted with different shades of blue and orange, with the silhouette of a faceless woman dipping her feet in the water. “Hm. It is indeed a wonderful painting. From a very famous painter from Linkon City. Although it is one of his earliest works.” 

“Are you familiar with this painter ?” you asked, interested in the knowledge of the person in front of you. To faint uninterest you slowly raise your glass to your lips looking away from the man.

“Familiar would not be right. We are acquaintances.” He then looks down at you smiling as he circles around the chair to finally sit next to you. “Although we haven’t seen each other for many years.” 

“I see.” you nodded looking at that man dressed in white, your eyes landing on the cross shaped brooch on his tie. You swore you have seen this insignia somewhere. “And you are ?”

“Shh little miss. It’s starting soon. We will have all the leisure to chit chat after that auction is done.” 

The auction began, and you drank the rest of your drink before waving to a waiter to come and get rid of you. Under your seat as under that of all the other participants was a small booklet with the passage numbers of each work or object. The one you were looking for was in last place. A sigh escaped from your lips as the first sums of money were thrown out of control. 

Beside you, still stood this same man, his left leg crossed above the right and his hands clasped on his knees, looking at the scene with a satisfied smile. With the light down, you took the time to linger on her face. He had it very hard, like a man who had to face situations that those of Linkon city did not have to face. But this sweet smile on his lips came in contrast with the portrait that could be made of him. You wondered if Sylus knew the man. You slowly raised your head to look towards Mephisto who was looking straight at you under his watchful red eyes. Just like his master. 

An hour and half passed, and you were starting to get numb to all the money that was being spent. The man next to you also did spend some money. He bought the painting you were eyeing earlier. And then came the mention of the diary. 

As soon as you could, you raised your hand to bid. With a glimpse of mischievousness, the man next to you raised his hand. Followed by some other people in the room. After nearly a minute of bidding, you raised your hand again. 

“Please stop playing sir. My husband is rather interested in this diary.” you muttered to the man next to you. “Stick to your paintings.” 

A suppressed laugh came as an answer as your bid was registered as a final answer. The hand of the man next to you extended towards you as the lights turned on. “It’s a pleasure to be doing business with you, little miss.” 

You frowned looking at the man’s gaze. “Business ?” 

“I am the owner of this building and the organizer of this auction. My name is Castiel, pleasure meeting you.” 

You gasped as you came to shake his hand. Dear god, why did you have to talk like that to the man who setted up a charity auction. This is why his brooch reminded you of something, it was literally plastered in the hall. 

“I am very sorry for my-”

“No offense is taken. Should we talk privately ? I will give you this diary your husband so wishes to have.” he lets go of your hand, getting up before offering his arm. 

“Yes.” you nod as you get up too, sliding your hand on the man’s arm. You were so giddy with the idea of success that you nearly didn’t realize Mephisto was cawing. 

However if you didn’t notice, it was not the case of Castiel that turned his head up towards the bird with a frown. He then asked the security to take care of it, and before you could step in and prevent this from happening, you were dragged into the man’s office. 

Once in his office, he let go of your hand. He headed towards the back of his desk, unlocking what sounded like a chest. In the meantime, you take the time to look around. The place was dark, but golden and green touches enhanced the place. You were basking in a warm light which contrasted with the cold atmosphere that was outside the sacred building. You did not move from the entrance, waiting patiently for you to be given what you had bought. 

“This book was retrieved from a bad man’s hands.” His voice broke the silence that was installed between you two. “If your husband really is interested in this script, you should be careful of him.” He said as he got closer to you handing the overused diary. 

“I will keep that in mind.” you nodded before taking the diary out of this man’s large hands. 

He smiled, flashing his perfect teeth to you. This close, you could see the eyebags between his vibrant eyes. A shiver ran up your back. “I hope our paths will cross again, little miss. If charity is what you are looking for, we could always use new members.” 

Charity… “Sure. I would love to stop by once again. The fate of the N109 zone is very dear to me afterall.” You smiled. 

He hummed. “Smart girl.” his fingers brushed your chin before you stepped back. “We should get going, your husband will surely show up in about a few seconds .”

Before you could answer, Castiel’s hand was on your free wrist and was dragging you out of his office, back into the auction room and in the middle of it stood Sylus. A visibly displeased Sylus. Almost angry. He shouted your name as soon as you came into his vision. The man with dark brown hair let go of your hand softly, placing his hand on your naked back. 

“You should go, little miss. I’d hate for your husband to scare away my guests.” 

You mindlessly nodded as you felt a sensation creeping up your back, and you almost trotted back to Sylus, pushing through the bodyguards preventing him from getting closer to their leader. Once in arms reach, the white haired man pulled you under his arm, hiding you beneath his coat. 

And yet as you were leaving the scene, you could feel Castiel’s gaze burning holes in your back.

[heytemporary]

So what broke you on MHA? Was there a turning point for you?

OMG MY FIRST ASK!? Never thought I’d see the day someone would use my ask button to the point I completely forgot its existence. But thank you!

Now to answer your question….hm. It’s been such a while since I’ve actually immersed myself with MHA, but let me give you a little backstory of how I got into it.

Around 2019 I believe, or maybe late 2018. I was 16yrs old and a friend of mine recommended it. I was immediately hooked, and that’s saying something because usually it’s hard for me to get into a show without loosing interest. I’m talking about hyperfixtating and obsession, not a one time thing or immediate drop.

My first favourite character? Fukimage Tokoyami. Then it was swapped for Hero Killer: Stain. Then I considered favouring Spinner before it was officially last swapped for Hitoshi Shinsou.

Pinpoint of when I began to lose interest? Sometime after the sports festival arc. It was still there, but my main driving force was because of Shinsou. Like I previously mentioned its been a while since I’ve actually immersed myself with MHA so I apologise I can’t give a detailed analysis of why this episode was the nail in the coffin.

Even when I first started watching the series I could already see the flaws and was highly critical, but I bared through it in hopes it couldve gotten better.

Also, I’m someone who’s a tunnel vision fan. Not the bias type fan, but I hardly interact with the fandom unless its to look at certain fanart or fanfiction or they’re likeminded people.

Imagine my surprise and disbelief when I decided to go out of my bubble and see everyone worship the ground b*kugo walked on. Honestly for a moment I thought I was going insane or was being too harsh on him, until I decided to download tumblr and found the critical tags

Sidenote I once did have a tumblr account that was active in the 2019-21 mha critical accounts before I decided to delete it.

Then I dropped it around late 2020- early 2021. Just didn’t feel like torturing myself with a show that disrespects its characters, and the overall census of the fandom lacking critical thinking skills. And also 16yr old me was just salty Horikoshi wasnt paying attention to Hitoshi but I digress that doesnt count lol.

Then sometime around 2023-24 the final war arc began gaining attraction. At first I ignored it cause I was just a tired hater, but then I just kept on seeing it everywhere and decided you know what let me check it out and see how far Horikoshi fell off.

And boy was that arc a cluster fuck within itself. Too many things going on at once. This arc and that arc and that character and this one and that. I was just hating the entire time.

But it was only after the dust settled, the episodes were animated and the manga finally finished did I decide to rise from the ashes and rejoin the tags under a new account that I originally used for Demon Slayer fan content.

While I can’t give you a dissect analysis on an episode or a character because that would require me to go back and watch the episode and truthfully I don’t wanna torture myself again…I can lay out the things that I never liked about MHA.

In no particular order

•The world-building. Not utilized in the grand scheme of things, and it being focused on Japan is not an excuse. This is not your average story where only a certain group of people hold powers and those powers are God like. These are your everyday people, born or not born with a Quirk thats unique and tailored to them. So many opportunities, gone and wasted.

•Addressing controversial topics (Lack of better word). Horikoshi would highlight it….and then forget it the next day. An opportunity to touch the darker side of Quirk society, or have a talk about the philosophy of it.

•Too many characters. You want to have a large cast fine, but if you’re going to do that please understand your limits and what you can handle. If you know you can’t write for every single characters then establish that, make it known that x character is a one off character, a side character or a plot device etc- As long as they all help contribute to the story in some way instead of leaving them to rott then suddenly remembering they exist and you try to make them have this important arc as if I should care when you never even bothered to make us care for them.

Or just reduce the cast, simple as that. Seriously, 20 entire classmates? Horikoshi, please take a page out of Danganronpa when it comes to handling a large cast. (Fyi: Im also critical of Danganronpa but I know when to give credit when due)

To be fair Horikoshi couldnt even handle his main characters properly.

•Tell don’t show. This is quite common in the Anime Industry, and for what reason I have no idea. Never liked this type of narrative storytelling, but I’m able to suck it up just as long as you know how to make it work. Horikoshi just did the most with it, and especially with too many flashback scene it just turned me off if anything.

•Lack of consequences. It took me a very long time for me to tolerate asshole characters turned good, and you can thank bakugo for that. Before I always had my foot on their neck everytime, and you could not convince me to even shed fake tears for them. Bakugo is coddled by both writers and his insufferable fans, so their love for him only fuled my dislike for him.

But aside from bully archetype characters there’s also plot type of consequences, and I can see Horikoshi lacks the nuances to delve or stick to the door he opened. The supposed high stakes are illusions, and that is best seen with the war arc. Like you knew all the heros and students were going to survive, except maybe like 1 or 2 no one should honestly cares about yet apparently everyone held a pity party for midnight lol.

•The disrespect of the Female Cast. Horikoshi had the perfect opportunity to address the sexism the female cast wouldve faced. He barely brushed it and he was only using his jerk off right hand to create these characters designs and story. He’s a disgusting pervert

•Favouritsm. Horikoshi favours Aizawa, Hitoshi, Mineta and Bakugo. 2 of them are confirmed to be his self inserts and that speaks for everything in itself.

• I may add more bullets in the future when I remember my other reasons as to why I dislike MHA. But this is about it really.

Thanks for the ask, and my first one! Honoured to answer your question.

[loveliestlovelygirl]

one of his girls

finnick odair x gn!reader

synopsis: stuck in a long elevator ride with finnick odair himself, he promises to save you a dance at the capitol party. with him, you become the center of attention instantly. the guests watch in envy, most of them wishing they were you. but finnick has his own motives for his pursuit of you.

w.c: 2.2K+

highlights: {minors dni} dark content, implied sex trafficking, alcohol, capitol party, social hierarchy, sexual content, lack of aftercare

Finnick’s suit jacket is navy but darker. Something like a midnight blue. The fabric is shiny, so shiny that you can faintly see your reflection on his bicep.

“Pretty.”

Startled that he would speak to you or even notice that you were standing beside him. You are a nobody compared to him. “T-thank you,” you stutter. His voice is enticing in a way. Not deep. But unapologetically masculine and yet soft at the same time. It haunts you. Any reply you could fathom would be but nonsense.

He chuckles. His smile is big. “Oh, I meant my suit.”

Suddenly, the elevator you are riding in together seemed even smaller. You can’t escape your embarrassment. It suffocates you entirely. Completely mortified by your assumption, you hang your head to hide your building tears. Why do I have to be such an idiot!

The hundreds of people at the party above would kill to be in this elevator with him. And you choose to act a fool.

When Finnick turns your way, you glance up just enough to really view his outfit. His shirt is made from a sheer black fabric, and his jacket is left open. You can see every ripple along his abdomen. You curse yourself for noticing.

“You are too though.” He leans down a bit to meet your eyes. “I just like this suit, don’t you?”

“Yes, it… becomes you.”

Finnick gives you a satisfied smirk. “Ah, my first compliment of the night.”

You cover your mouth to laugh. “I’m sure you’ll be drowning in them by the end.”

“If only that weren’t true,” he notes, leaning against the back wall. “It’s hard being loved by all.”

You laugh again. While everyone goes on and on about his incomparable beauty, they’ve never mentioned his humorous side. But you wonder if maybe there is some truth to his statement. Maybe he doesn’t like being in the limelight so often. He’s always a main attraction at Capitol parties. Everyone tries to go home with him.

You admire Finnick’s makeup. The coal liner that brings out his green eyes. And the gold flecks on his pink cheeks, matching his golden hair. “You really do look pretty, Finnick,” you say to him.

He nods. “I have to. The scandal I would cause if I were underdressed. You know me, always the attention whore.” He says that with a hint of disgust that maybe he didn’t intend for your ears.

The elevator comes to a stop before you have a chance to ask what he meant by that. Finnick waves to you.

“I’ll save you a dance, darling.”

Everyone fiercely fights for Finnick’s attention through the batting of eyelashes, assaulting him with compliments, and insincere kisses to his golden cheeks. You watch him accept their adoration with gracious elegance that only he has. When they flirt with him, he flirts back flawlessly, without skipping a beat. From this outside view it seems to come so naturally to him. It looks like he thrives when he’s adored. Most people wouldn’t know how to handle the attention. They would suffocate from the weight of it all. But not Finnick Odair. You figure he’s seen so much in his life that nothing phases him. Nothing at all.

While he’s in the center of the room, you draw near to the sidelines. You nibble at the food and sip white wine. Finnick has been too busy the entire night entertaining guests that he has no time for enjoying a meal. You hope he ate before.

From the dessert bar, you watch him dancing with a loudly dressed man with green hair. The way their bodies move together is fluid. Finnick can dance. In fact, he’s very skilled with the way he controls his partner all in the rhythm of the music. Perhaps your envy causes you to avert your gaze, and you walk around to the opposite side of the bar so that you no longer have to watch. You know that your encounter in the elevator meant nothing to Finnick. His calling you pretty means nothing. He flirts with everyone he can.

You lose yourself to chocolate and your self-effacing thoughts. And you don’t notice when he sneaks up behind you. When Finnick’s hand touches your shoulder, you nearly jump.

“Hello, Finnick,” you mutter, not turning to look at his face.

“I noticed you were watching me.”

You shrug. “Everyone was. He seems… fun.”

“I don’t care about everyone.” He steps around you and wedges himself between you and the bar. “Are you…” he leans in, staring at you suspiciously, “jealous?”

“Of him?” you balk at his presumptuousness. “You—”

“He’s obsessed with me,” Finnick scoffs. “And I hate him. But…” his lips ghost your ear, “he’s close to our beloved president.” He steps away from you after he says that. “But that’s just between you and me.”

A little stunned that he would share a private detail of his affairs with you, you’re caught at a loss for words. “I have no one to tell.”

His fingers slip between yours. “Don’t you? You frequent these gatherings.”

Quickly, you remove your hand from his. “My mother insists that I make an appearance. She’s working on marital arrangements for me as we speak.”

Finnick nods. “I see. I suppose it was a little self-assured for me to believe you came for me.”

“Plenty do.”

Turning his face toward the crowd, he watches them dance and laugh, drink and eat. “It’s true. They know they might get something from me.”

“Your reputation precedes you.”

He looks back to you and centers his gaze upon your eyes. “You don’t act like them. You don’t gorge yourself on extravagant pleasures as they do. You’re not from the Capitol, are you?”

You shake your head. “No. I’m from a lesser district. I was adopted.”

“I pity you. You would have been better off back home.” Finnick reaches behind you and grabs a drink. He leans back to swallow. “I count down the days until I can go back to mine. But… it’s uncertain when I will be allowed to go back.”

You look at him quizzically. “Allowed?”

He smiles cheekily, acknowledging that you heard him correctly. He means for you to know that. “You should dance with me,” he says, abruptly changing the subject. He grabs your wrist with his big hand, his grip so strong that you could never overpower his might. His strength is god-like, a formidable weapon in a fight. But with you… he uses his strength gently.

There is no use denying him his wishes. Finnick pulls you along to the middle of the dance floor where you both quickly become the center of attention. The faces that never bothered to give you a second glance are staring at you unashamedly. But it’s all because of the man who holds you in his arms.

They’re jealous of you… for once.

Finnick leads you in the dance, both arms about your waist and holding you close to him. His cologne warms your senses. His scent is potent and tempting, and you only wish to get closer to him. But with where you stand right now, that’s quite impossible without taking off all your clothes.

You hold onto his neck as you sway to the beat of melody filling the room. He moves your body in time with his. You follow his lead completely. Being in the spotlight magnifies every flaw you can conceive of for everyone to see and tease you for. The blinding light of Finnick’s stardom no doubt makes it worse. No one looks pretty standing beside him.

You press your face against his suit jacket to hide yourself. You can’t take it anymore, looking all around the room and seeing all those judgmental expressions directed toward you. Holding onto Finnick keeps your grounded. He makes you feel safe. As you dance you begin to understand why so many obsess over his attention. Regardless of whether or not it is genuine, it feels that way. Every touch, every look feels real. And it makes you crave more. More of him. And it’s disgusting how quickly he’s made you harbor lustful feelings towards him.

Every time he looks down at you with his mesmerizing gaze, he gives you fuck me eyes. Every single time.

Like now.

You pull at the collar of his jacket and giggle. “Finnick… you can’t look at me like that.”

He lifts your chin. “Don’t tell me what I can’t do.” His tone is playfully cautious.

“You might make me fall—” you stop, shaking your head, backing away one step to put distance between your bodies.

“That’s the point, sweetheart. Tonight. I’m all yours.” He pulls you back in a spin, leans in close to your ear, lips grazing. “A favor you might… repay one day.”

“What kind of favor are you asking for?” You can’t believe you’re considering his offer. But there’s something about him. How can you resist the pull? You’re only human.

“I know who you are. I know you have a house in your district 7. I need a haven and transportation to the location. Until the storm blows over.” Finnick tells you these things with a big smile on his face.

“Storm? What storm?”

“I’m leaving the capitol. Very soon. You’re the last piece of the puzzle.”

You laugh at him as if he’s crazy. “Why would you want to leave the Capitol, Finnick? You can have everything you want.”

He turns serious for a moment. “I don’t want everything. I just want to go home. I have a connection in your district.”

“Okay,” you say. “I can make arrangements for you.”

Pulling you in closer, Finnick’s eyes drift over your lips. “So shall we head upstairs?”

You interlace your fingers in his and give him a nod. This is not how you expected the evening to turn out. Not at all. Your little interaction with Finnick in the elevator wasn’t meant to lead to this. But he pursued you… and his reasons are clear to you now.

When you’re alone with him in one of the upstairs rooms designated for illicit activities, you look around the four walls that surround you. You’re here while they’re stuck beneath you. You’re where the rest of them long to be.

Alone with Finnick Odair.

He pours you a drink and brings it to you. You sip at the sour liquid while he watches you.

“Look into my eyes, sweetheart.” He’s looking into yours, his irises almost as dark as emeralds in the dim lighting. Rolling back his shoulders, his suit jacket hits the floor. You see his skin through his sheer shirt. You’re sure that’s the point of it. He wants people to look at his body.

It worked on you. Easily.

Under the glitzy chandelier, crystal droplets catch the light and enhance his glow. Finnick slowly reveals himself to you, undressing to please you. The darkness in his eyes is alluring, and it draws you to him. The low lights, the incense burning, and the alcohol in your hand are meant to seduce you, as if having Finnick all to yourself is somehow not enough.

His expensive clothes are left behind when he approaches you. His long arm pulls you close, and he holds you against him, his body warm and comforting.

“My drink,” you say, “it spilled.”

Finnick takes the glass from your hand and drinks what’s left. His adam’s apple bobs when he swallows. He tosses the glass somewhere, and it lands in a crash.

“Someone will clean that up,” he notes, taking both your hands and leading you across the room. “Just focus on your desires.” He grins ear to ear. “Focus on me.”

With the way he looks tonight, that’s the easiest thing in the whole world. Maybe it’s the alcohol, but you throw yourself into his arms, and Finnick gracefully catches you. And for the first time, you share a kiss with him, two worlds colliding for a moment and an eternity all at once. You feel hazy in wonder. The maneuvering of his mouth pulls and demands the greatest pleasure from you. Never have you been kissed this way before. From the rumors you have heard, few rival Finnick Odair as a lover.

Together, you collapse on the sofa, your body on top of his, your lips never breaking contact. You kiss him all over his face, leaving lipstick prints on his cheeks and forehead. Finnick turns swiftly and pulls you under him, holding you down with his bodyweight and warmth. His skin against yours feels so right somehow, despite the situation. The excitement sparks across your skin, every place he touches with his hands, his fingers, and his mouth as he sucks on the pulse point of your neck.

He unzips the back of your outfit and traces down the ridges on your spine. At the same time, you pause to gaze into the other’s eyes. In that moment, you know you’re thinking the same thing, and soon you find yourself tangled in silken bedsheets.

You’re naked under him. This is the first time you’ve been intimate with someone you barely know. But you feel safe with him. He’s gentle, warming you up first before he truly makes a move. It’s skin on skin, two beating hearts, nails digging into flesh and leaving red marks. The echoes of his smooth voice reverberating in your ears, over and over. Over and over. When he’s inside you, you suddenly discover an insatiable side to your own desires. Passion takes over your body, and you can’t get enough of him and the little freak he’s unraveling in your soul.

The bed shakes and creaks, and in a fleeting glance, you look out from under him, you wondering if the pictures on the wall would crash down over you.

You grasp at his skin, the sheets, the headboard, in attempt to hold out, to let this last a little longer. To enjoy him because it’s unlikely that, once he makes his escape, you’ll see him again. Not like this, at least.

You cry when it hits. That rush, crashing into you like a wave. Finnick backs off soon after, giving you space. You’re not even sure if he felt the same.

You lie there for a long time, just staring up at the ceiling. And eventually he leaves you without another word or loving touch. You know that this was all a favor, but you can’t help but fall a little for him. Everyone does.

But you’re just one of his girls. A means to an end.

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[cutehoons02]

SUMMARY: Jake and the other members never expected that the first to find their "soul mate" was the golden retriever boy but there is a small problem, his soul mate is not a vampire but a human in close contact with the group

"I haven’t bit you yet T/L, but you’ve been mine for centuries"

TROPE: Vampire/Idol Jack x Social media manager. (Enemies to lovers)

GENRE: fluff,angst,a little bit smut

This is the first one-shot I have written in English (English is not my native language) I hope you like it because I would like to write a series and this is only the first part with protagonist Jake

Working as a content creator for a band especially K-pop was your dream but you did not expect to have to work with 7 vampires.

Jake hated you with all his heart, your beautiful honey-colored hair, your ice-colored eyes when you cried from the frustration of work, your laugh as you laughed with the other members, how you seemed so unconcerned with everyone and how you tried to help everyone even with simple words of encouragement, how you were comfortable with the sweatshirt with all the names of the members written because at each event each staff to be recognized by people had to wear a kind of "uniform" with a simple sweatshirt, how well your jeans were wrapped as you ran from one side to the other with your camera but especially hated the scent that you emanated especially that of your blood.

"stop looking at her as a stalker and try to interact with her as if she were a simple girl, now 6 working months with us and we understand that somehow you are affected by her presence but i am also the only one who knows that it is your soul mate"

Jake laughed, hating not only the human who was filming the new music video but also Sunghoon; each member had powers that only vampires could have and Hoon could distinguish thousands of smells and recognize in turn the blood that had a certain person and T/L had a charming blood because not only he felt the strong smelled it when he first saw it.

The makeup artist who was trying for the tenth time to recreate a kiss on Jake’s cheek snorted she had to find someone who kissed Jake to make it look real, did not work for the enhypen when she saw the young videographer without equipment call her.

T/L ran to the makeup station and saw Jake looking hard at both her and her makeup artist

"I can’t finish in 10 minutes both Jake and Sunghoon with fake kisses on their face, I saw you weren’t filming anything anymore so could you do me this favor? You must put this blood-red gloss and kiss Jake on the neck as if it were a real "vampire", on the cheek and near the mouth. You leave 5 minutes alone and when i come back Jake must be ready because he has to appear last in the video clip"

T/L watched the makeup artist run into the other room and stare at Jake, the fake vampire smiled at her with a grin and put the blood-red gloss on her lips; T/L’s heart was beating like crazy, had already kissed guys in those parts of the body but kissing Jake would certainly have repercussions to his heart and mind. Surely his mind would play bad jokes during the night making him dream that moment countless times because even if he despised her under under adored it when Jake teased or teased her.

"Have you ever kissed someone as if you were going to bite them in the neck "TikToker?" T/L laughed at the nickname that Jake had given her, she had been hired to create content on tik tok but slowly she started creating content on YouTube and a few weeks ago she also began filming with the camera

"Jake i just have to put my lips on your neck i don’t have to bite you, i’m not a vampire and i wouldn’t even want to bite you under torture because if i did, i might find out that i am your soul mate and everyone knows that you hate me."

T/L stood up a bit on the tips and watched Jake’s eyes become darker and slightly red, she knew that she had special lenses but that redness seemed so real that a shiver ran through her whole body; he felt Jake’s hands leaning against his waist and a scent of tobacco and vanilla.

"I didn’t think the sweet honey-haired girl knew anything about vampires,what would you do if you found out that we are vampires and not just idols? You would run away as most sane people would after a few months or you would like to see our real nature"

Jake looked at your lips and at the same time with a kindness that he didn’t even know he had moved the hair that had stuck in your lips in the ear so you could kiss him on the neck.

"vampires don’t exist, Jake, you’re just trying to scare me and stop playing your vampire character so literally" You put your lips on his neck and felt no heat coming from his body but a slight moan from the Australian boy who looked at you again with a grin; you did not understand why it was so cold so your hand touched his face and again felt no heat but you had no time to waste asking yourself these strange questions so without thinking about it for a moment kissed his cheek and finally the corner of his mouth.

A breath I’ll read hit your ear and a slight vanilla flavor came out of Jake’s mouth "i haven’t bit you yet T/L, but you’ve been mine for centuries" Jake’s lips slammed on yours gently and for a moment it was just you and that guy who pretended to hate and despise you because he would never have expected to have a human girl as his soul mate and not a vampire. While you kissed you felt the fake tusks that had Jake slightly nibbling you and a moan came out of your lips when you slightly felt the taste of blood wet your lips, Jake’s eyes and lips were reddish but the thing that sent you most was his canines much longer.

You pushed slightly Jake because you felt that someone was approaching and a long smile came out of your lips when the makeup artist entered the room, you did not want to have problems with the protocol that involved not having "sexual" acts in public places but especially with one of the members of the enhypen

In his mind that gesture was so important, you despised him already before as a human being now that you had discovered his monster nature you were even more afraid, he came out of the dressing room with tears to the sides of his eyes and began to sing and that performance where he had almost broken heart won a very important award as "best video" made in 2024 by enhypen

It was almost a month after the kiss and T/L happened every time he was around Jake, he felt the strong impulse to watch him for even one moment while he was training with others, while playing in the studio with Layla, when he was eating in the staff canteen or when they were dressing him up for an event.

she missed the jokes he made about her or when he pretended to see the tik tok he had recorded and erased it to make her angry but since they kissed he no longer cared for her

"We know you have to stop at work later to film that skincare content so we thought of ordering a pizza to eat all together, so to repay us for the time when you will return home we offer it. What do you like?" said the leader Jungwon the boy with cat eyes and super tender dimples

<<she takes a delicious Hawaiian pizza with ham and pineapple I know that in Italy everyone loves it and real Italians in Korea will surely eat it always!>>

When you heard Jake’s voice a little grin formed on your lips but at the same time you looked up because it was forbidden when there was nearby pizza with pineapple.

That same evening you were coming home from work, you loved to walk around downtown Seoul in the evening because it was one of the safest cities but at the same time there were always many people around but a sense of agitation had come to you just out of the metro, You lived in a very quiet place with your concubines and surprisingly there was nobody and a light fog rose from the river.

you looked behind you and saw a boy staring at you from afar was tall enough and wore a mask to hide his face,You walked faster to get to your apartment but when you sundown to saw the boy was a few meters away and you started to accelerate the pace until a hand took your wrist and you screamed in fear.

"Tiktoker i told you that you had to accept the passage from the staff member never know that there could be malicious humans but at the same time dangerous creatures who would take away my soul mate"

Jake wore a short-sleeved shirt with a fur jacket and as most of the time he wore glasses, it looked like he’d just come out of an ’80s movie you hated to admit it but he was just gorgeous with those super morbid lips that invited you to kiss him.

You immediately turned away your eyes and a light laugh struck the corner of your neighborhood "Aren’t you cold dressed like that?" In Seoul, autumn was beginning to set in and you loved the smell of the rain, the changing color of the leaves from green to bright colors like orange or red, and the light cold that was about to arrive

"Don’t you know that vampires don’t suffer from the cold? I thought you knew about vampires between Twilight and The Vampires Diaries you should have made a culture on how we are made, I can come to your house I don’t want anyone to notice me i don’t want any fans raving about me in the middle of the night"

You didn’t want to hear about vampires in silence Jake came into your apartment and like a puppy followed you into your room and was happily surprised to see how welcoming it was but at the same time small.

There were some candles and a scent of vanilla and cinnamon invaded him was just a girl’s room but two things struck him. A puff came out of his mouth when he saw a shrine with lots of vintage F1 objects, books, and a helmet of your favorite pilot, and when he saw a photo card of your favorite pilot framed above a photo card of an enhypen member laughed but at the same time looked at you with an angry expression.

He hated with all his being that human power could have on you, knew that you had seen him live a couple of times and that you were obsessed because you also had in your phone background a photo of him; who knows what you found in that being was circling circles for fun. The last thing that struck him in your room was the polaroids stuck to the wall that barely formed half a heart, Enhypen, and some of the staff.

“How come you even took a picture of me in your Tiktoker room?" that photo was taken in Milan for their first concert in Italy and Europe, everyone was super agitated but at the same time they did not see to perform in Europe and that picture always made your heart warm.

"Jake is not only you in that group, but i am also friends with everyone and i bring a beautiful memory of your first concert in Italy so I hung it on the wall. Now can you tell me why you wanted to come to my house? It’s almost midnight and tomorrow at 9 we have to be at the station because you are going on a mini holiday where we will record some En-o’clock

Jake watched the honey-haired girl stretch and go to bed and so did the Australian boy. "well i wanted to see where my soul mate lives and feel the thrill of sleeping a few hours as you humans do with your boyfriends" his big hands wrapped around your waist and put his head in the hollow of your neck "how much i would bite you right now T/L"

T/L felt a lot of chills at contact with Jake and tried in every way to repel him but was clearly stronger "Stop with this fantasy of you being a vampire and me being your soul mate, you haven’t looked at me for almost a month and now you show up in my room like a puppy wanting to have her cuddles. I just think you’re bipolar, with a great desire to make fun of people especially me. What is it you’ve made a bet on how long it will take for me to fall in love with you or how many days you would crawl to get your attention back?"

Jake took the wrists of T/L without overdoing it and put them over his head "Stop saying that i am not a vampire or that you are not my soul mate, feel how i cause the shivers in your body, see how you look at me with the look at work and you also know that I am a vampire. These teeth are real and if you don’t stop i’ll brand you and claim you for eternity and I won’t be the "golden boy retriever" that fans imagine

[possessedopossum]

The Veilguard: my full review [positive, long post, less about game mechanics and more about meta, spoilers]

The thing that makes Veilguard special to me is how self aware the game is. In every dialogue, plot twist or quest I can feel the presence of somebody who wanted to share something with me. Be it personal experience, message, pain or joy. As of 2024, many games have lost their creative spark. Video game industry is no longer a nerd only zone, it's a business no different than others. Many studios utilize AI to write their plots, chase after current trends or simply make decisions that would create the biggest audience possible at the expense of something people love the franchise for. Veilguard did well, because it showed me something I haven't seen in a very long time: the human soul.

Perhaps you have noticed it on your own. The world has gone completely nuts after the covid. Or maybe it has always been this way and I only noticed it now. It is not a surprise to me that players want their game to be darker, to have more aggressive dialogue and to have a morally grey or even evil protagonist. For the past few years I've been feeling like someone had turned the lights off. And the game gave me an impression that someone at bioware feels this way too.

Only negativity gives content creators views and money these days. Open any social media, read any post or watch any video. If something is on top, it's almost always a hate post. What was the last movie most reviewers enjoyed? The last game? Perhaps the one that was released 10 years ago? What was the last time, you, my dear reader, have smiled? Not bitterly or sardonically, but out of genuine joy?

It is extremely fitting that Rook's mentor figure is Varric. Varric is somebody who always sees the best in people. He grew up in one hell of a city but he still loves it. He can find something to laugh about no matter how dire the situation is. He is a people person who can build friendship with anybody. Varric is very charismatic and tends to avoid conflict. He is a chronic liar but that doesn't make him bad because he never lies with malicious intentions. And in some ways, Rook is similar to him.

Yes, Rook can't be a complete asshole. Because the game is not about being an asshole. One of our antagonists, Solas, considers the world to be sick. Modern Thedas is a grave mistake that haunts him. He can't forget and move on because even the elves themselves wear his mistakes on their faces. Many things that are normal to the player character aren't normal to Solas. The world is so wrong and disgusting to Solas that he is willing to sacrifice things and people who are dear to him just to make the twisted world better.

Rook is nice because they are supposed to represent what is good in modern Thedas. They are supposed to be somebody who thinks the world is worth fighting for. And to a certain extent, their factions as well. The crows are contract killers and the lords of fortune are thiefs. Grey wardens are very concerned with politics and all the secrets they refuse to share constantly get people killed. Mourn watch has their immoral power hungry politicians as well and veil jumpers are sometimes willing to trade people for ancient secrets. They all aren't without sin but that's not the point. The point is, even with all the ugliness and darkness, there is still a place for light. And the light in the darkness is the exact message bioware tried to convey. The crows not being comically evil is not bad writing. It is a conscious writing choice to give us a human face for something we consider ugly and not worth fighting for. The player is metaphorically Solas, who needs to be persuaded that the world is worth at least something. The writers didn't need to bare the souls of player factions in all their mistakes, imperfections and cruelty. Because they showed us the factions' humanity. Some cruelty is still there, on the background, but it doesn't overshadow what is good. The crows, no matter how terrible, are a family. Viago may call Rook an idiot and while Rook considers their training literal torture, they sure love Viago back.

In fact, familial love is one of the core themes of the Veilguard. We have Emmrich and Manfred, Davrin and Assan and uncle Endrin, Lucanis and Caterina and Illario, Taash and Shathann, Bellara and Cyrian. It's a bit less direct with Neve and Harding. Neve has a lot of love for her city which is almost like a person to her, and Harding...I'll explain with a quote. "You're Lace Harding! You're more than this rage! You believe that the world is beautiful! That people are good! Hold onto it, hold on to who you are!".

Even the evanuris share the theme of family. Rook can compare Elgar'nan and Solas to relatives who can't get along. Elgar'nan calls Ghilan'nain his sister. Both shards of Mythal consider modern elves her children. Different but no less beloved, as Morrigan puts it.

Veilguard shows family without rose-tinted glasses. It shows that sometimes to love your children is to sacrifice something else you love (Lichdom for Emmrich), that parents have their own problems that may harm their children no matter how much parents wish to protect them (Shathann understands she is not the best mother and has complicated relationships with the Qun that harmed Taash), that sometimes parents do not understand their children at all and it's only up to children themselves to close the gap in understanding (Mythal, Solas and Rook), that familial love and desire to protect your family may turn into something ugly (Caterina being cruel to her grandchildren to prepare them for harsh realities of the antivan crows).

There is conflict in Veilguard, of intergenerational nature. Companions and their families, Rook and their faction leader, elves ancient and modern. It's up to the player how to deal with the last one. Humans, dwarves and qunari may not share blood ties with ancient elves but they still live in the world ancient elves created. As Rook, you're allowed to lash out in anger at Mythal and Solas. You can call Mythal guilty of all modern problems and fight her. You can bind Solas to the veil by force, call him asshole and express your frustrations with him multiple times throughout the game. You can also express sympathy and forgive them both. Because forgiving is neither condoning nor condemning, it's understanding and letting go. Being understood and allowed to peacefully let go of his mistakes is the exact thing that Solas needs to change his mind.

I believe that the Veilguard companions are one of the very best I've ever seen in a video game. They may not have as many different fates as for example Alistair has but is goodness measured with the amount of ways a character can be killed? I love the Veilguard crew because they all feel very real. Their personal problems are universal and very close to the player. Taash's story is not about being non-binary. It's about growing up, finding your place in the world, separating from your family and learning to appreciate it despite the mistakes your parents did while parenting you.

It's hard to decide who is my favorite. Taash's story made me cry but so did Harding's and Bellara's. The last scenes of Lucanis romance made me feral. I can't stomach the scene where Davrin and Assan die. The consequences of destruction of Minrathous/Treviso were hard to look at. I felt guilt, and if a game makes me feel something, it's a good game. I laughed, I cried, I was afraid and I felt joy, I was angry, I felt shame, I felt love. The game made me feel alive, I played through Rook's story like it was my own, what not to love about it?

The double blight wreaking havoc in Southern Thedas is sad but beautifully symbolic. Almost like a love letter from a long lost lover, It felt like bioware's meta commentary to me. "Yes, a whole lot of time has passed. We are no longer as young as we used to be, and so are you, not only the player, but our treasured friend as well. We have changed, you have changed and so did the world around us. Gaming and the video game industry are not what they used to be. We will never be able to go back no matter how much we want it because the only path that is left is the path forward. It doesn't mean that we no longer remember our shared past, no. We may not be able to go back but we promise to remember it fondly. We are still capable of creating beauty and the past will serve as a foundation for something new. We still have hope, and so should you".

The Veilguard to me is about nostalgia as well. I don't want to feed my inner Solas who sees the current world as sick. I want to make space for my inner Rook who is hopeful about the world just enought to fight for its future.

[planetmontressor]

aftg | jerejean | rated t

a/n: this is my very first aftg fic and tbh the first fic i've written in a very long time, but i felt inspired!! i'm only about 60% done with the golden raven so pls keep that in mind!! -------

It was late at night when Jeremy came home from the long drive from his parent’s house and back here. It had been another family dinner and though he’d tried everything within his power to get out of it, he’d failed. He had, however, managed to get out of staying the night thanks to his early morning practice the following day.

He was happy to pull into Laila’s driveway, despite the ridiculously late hour and his exhaustion. He glanced at the analog clock on his dashboard and the numbers read 1:43 AM.

Jeremy cut the engine and mopped a hand down his exhausted face as he climbed out and locked the doors behind him. He figured everyone would be asleep given the time and their incredibly early practice start time, but he noticed the kitchen light was on when he walked in through the door as he toed off his shoes.

He didn’t bother calling out, in case everyone was in fact sleeping and the light had accidentally been left on.

Jeremy was surprised to see Jean, of all people, in the kitchen.

Or maybe, not as much considering how sporadic the other man’s sleep schedule tended to be at times. He was sure that years at Edgar Allen played a heavy hand in that, but he wouldn’t dwell right now. He’d spent most of his night tamping down his anger while he dealt with his family, he didn’t have the capacity to dwell on something else that made him equally as upset.

At Jeremy’s arrival, Jean didn’t look up from what he’d been doing immediately, seemingly very concentrated on what he was measuring out onto a spoon. He dumped the contents into a pot that was steaming on the stove before finally looking up at Jeremy.

“Surprised to find you awake,” Jeremy said, stifling a yawn as he opened the door to the fridge and plucked out a bottle of water. He cracked it open as he closed the door with his hip.

Jeremy looked over at Jean to find him pressing a finger to one of the pages of Cat’s cookbooks, seemingly muttering something under his breath in deep concentration.

“What are you making at this hour?” Jeremy asked as he came up beside Jean. The smell finally hit him and he let out a satisfied hum. “Smells good.”

Without looking up, Jean said, “American goulash.”

For some reason, the way Jean said, in such a serious tone American goulash, had Jeremy smiling fondly. “I do love me some goulash. Dallas used to make it for me all the time when I was little. Though, I’ve…never heard anyone refer to it as American goulash.”

“It originated in Hungary,” Jean said matter of factly, still serious as ever despite Jeremy’s smile.

“I guess that is true…” Jeremy murmured. “Well,” he gulped his water, “It looks and smells amazing.”

Jean was staring down at the recipe book, eyebrows pinched together in concentration as his fingers traced each line one by one. “I think I have missed something.”

Jeremy blinked. “Want me to try it, see if I can figure it out?”

Jean nodded without looking up. “Perhaps.” And then he reached for the wooden spoon that was sitting on the counter. He dipped it into the pot and held it out to Jeremy.

Jeremy reached his free hand up to take the spoon, but was briefly distracted with the way Jean was staring right at him, expectantly. Jeremy looked at the spoon, fingers reaching for it, but Jean didn’t let go. He panicked for a moment as he looked up from the spoon, to Jean’s face.

“Are you going to try it?” Jean asked, almost sounding confused.

Jeremy’s fingers went lax against the spoon as he leaned a little closer to finally take a bite. 

Jean didn’t move as he watched him. And suddenly, Jeremy couldn’t focus on what he was supposed to be doing, far too distracted with every ounce of Jean’s attention directly on him.

Jean’s gray eyes looked a little darker in the low lighting, and Jeremy couldn’t help but focus on just that.

“Well?” Jean asked, his voice coming out a little quieter than Jeremy had expected. And…had he imagined the slight waver in it?

“Just needs a bit more salt,” Jeremy finally said as Jean pulled the spoon away and bit off what Jeremy hadn’t eaten.

Jeremy’s brain nearly splattered on the damn wall as he watched Jean lick his lips right after as he nodded in agreement. 

Jeremy turned away immediately and chugged his water.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Jean sprinkling some salt into the pot before stirring it and holding it out for Jeremy to try again. This time, Jeremy didn’t make the mistake of trying to take the spoon from him. Instead, he just leaned in and took a bite. He nodded and smiled. “It’s perfect.”

Jean’s eyes went down to Jeremy’s mouth. He set the spoon aside and said something quiet in french Jeremy didn’t catch as he reached a hand out. He swiped his thumb across the corner of his mouth. “You have sauce on your face.”

And Jeremy.

He just fucking stood there, stock still, frozen in place as he stared at Jean. His eyes were still on Jeremy’s mouth. Then, up to his eyes. Jeremy didn’t say anything and neither did Jean.

Jeremy waited for Jean to step out of his space, but he didn’t. He remained rooted in place and if it had been anybody else, Jeremy would have had them against the counter by now, hands pushing up their shirt.

But this wasn’t just anyone.*

This was Jean Moreau. This was his team partner. This was the man he was supposed to be looking out for, not taking advantage of. He knew what he’d been through and Jeremy would string himself up before he ever made the first move.

He’d known there was something there, hanging above them. It was so subtle, easy to miss, but Jeremy could feel the mutual attraction. But..god, it was really, really fucking complicated in so many ways.

And Jean Moreau was looking at Jeremy in a way that was reminding him that the attraction was very much mutual. That made something hot and needy twist up in his stomach.

Jean leaned in and Jeremy’s knees nearly gave out as he dropped the bottle of water onto the counter.

Jeremy’s hand came up and touched Jean’s jaw. He felt him startle in the slightest, but he didn’t pull away. The tiny jump had been so small, Jeremy had nearly missed it.

Jean’s mouth opened against his and Jeremy moved to press him against the counter and suddenly something clattered and Jean hissed as he broke away, turning quickly to catch the pot before it completely fell over on the stove. Jeremy had accidentally pushed him against the stove and--

“Fuck,” Jeremy huffed out. “Shit, I’m so sorry.”

Jean let out something that almost sounded like…a laugh. If it wouldn’t have been for the way Jeremy had seen that there was a small smile on Jean’s face, he would have been convinced he’d imagined it. 

That Jean had *laughed,* and then said, “It’s ok.” 

Jean had managed to save most of it, but a good amount ended up on the stove. Jeremy rushed to grab paper towels to clean it up. He refused Jean’s help as he wiped up the bit that ended up on the floor and rushed over to the kitchen to rinse his sauce-covered hands off. 

As he was shutting the sink off, he reached for the paper towels to find that they weren’t there. He’d grabbed the entire roll in his haste and left it by the stove on the floor. When he turned, Jean was already there, handing him the roll.

Jeremy quietly said, “Thanks.” He set the roll down and dried his hands, looking down at them as he did so.

Jean didn’t move from his side. After a few drawn out moments, he asked, “Was that…ok?”

Jeremy wasn’t sure he’d ever heard Jean Moreau sound so…uncertain of himself. It made his heart go impossibly weak. He turned, maybe a little faster than he should have. “Yes, definitely. Yes.” He said yes twice. Shit.

There was that small smile again. The one that had Jeremy’s heart stuttering.

“Ok.” Jean nodded. “Good.” And then he turned back toward the stove to begin pouring the leftovers into a container.

“I should really go to bed,” Jeremy said. “That drive took it out of me.”

Jean nodded, and gave a small wave over his shoulder.

“Remember, early practice tomorrow.” He sort of felt like a mother hen, but he wanted to make sure Jean was getting rest. Taking care of himself.

“I know,” was Jean’s response.

Jeremy crossed the kitchen, over to the stove where he’d left his bottle. When Jean glanced at him curiously, Jeremy smiled and held up the bottle. “Good night,” he said.

Jean caught him by the arm before he could walk off. Jeremy froze, glancing back at him. Jean’s eyes traced his face, the line of his neck and then flicked back up to Jeremy’s eyes. “Good night,” he said as he let Jeremy go.

When he climbed into bed a few minutes later, Jeremy squashed his pillow onto his face and tried not to scream and kick his feet. fin.

[raz-writes-the-thing]

Nightmares No More

Tenth Doctor x GN!Reader / Requests are: open and encouraged

Summary: It's no surprise that your nightmares pick up again since beginning travelling with the Doctor, but the Doctor has just the fix.

CW: angst, soft fic, comfort, reader has nightmares

DW tag list: @nyxiethesimp (please inbox me to be added to a tag list)

Nightmares were kind of a given no matter where, who or what you were. At some point in their lives, most people, or people-adjacent (read: aliens) would experience a nightmare. You, who were, in fact, a person and not person-adjacent, were particularly susceptible to nightmares. You always had been. 

It had been a particular source of contention for you when you were younger. Especially when you reached the age where you wanted to watch horror movies but couldn’t unless you wanted to spend the next one to fifteen days without sleep curled up in the blankets in terror. 

And yet, despite this, when the Doctor had asked you if you wanted to go and travel through time and space with him, you had said yes. You had said yes despite the horrors you were sure to and did face. Repeatedly. The Doctor had started to notice that you were slowly growing less chipper, the bags under your eyes growing darker by the day. He was growing concerned. 

Currently, you were asleep in your room and the Doctor was looking through the TARDIS records to see if he could find anything that might be causing your lack of interest in things. He was not having much luck. 

He was almost ready to give up for the day and head to bed himself when he heard a loud shriek. He rushed towards your room immediately assuming the worst. He was good at that, particularly when it came to his mortal companions. He’d lost enough of them. No more. 

His hand slams down on the bio-scanner button. The TARDIS overrides the scanner for him and the door opens with a whoosh. He steps inside, calling your name in a panic. 

He finds you sitting in your bed, tears tracking down your cheeks with your arms wrapped around your knees. He leans on the end of the bed, hands brushing over your face, your arms and over your legs- checking for damage, or bites. Anything. 

“What’s wrong?” He rushes out, cupping your chin to raise your line of sight back up to him. 

“It’s nothing,” you chew on your lip, averting eye contact. You brush each cheek against your arm to wipe the tears away and give him the best approximation of a genuine smile you can muster. “Sorry, stubbed my toe.” 

The Doctor raises a brow at you in disbelief. Your smile slips into something a tad more genuine. He could always see right through you. 

“Ohh, come on, now,” he tuts amusedly, but even he can’t hide the look of concern colouring his eyes. “You shouldn’t lie to your Doctor, you know.” 

You roll your eyes and let out a little puff of air, preparing to tell him the truth. 

“I had a nightmare,” you said simply, wiggling your socked toes for something to focus on. Another tear streaks down your cheek before you can release your knees to wipe it away. 

The Doctor releases your chin to wipe it away and clambers over the bed to sit up against the wall next to you. He draws you into his chest comfortingly.

“Nightmares, huh? I get those too. Not as much fun as travelling through the Chasm of Jewels, are they?” 

You scoff and relax into him, releasing your knees to stretch out. Your heart was beginning to slow now that the dream was over and slowly slipping away from you. 

“No,” you agree quietly. “They’re not.” 

The Doctor is uncharacteristically quiet for a moment, rubbing your shoulder softly. 

“How long have you had them?” 

You shrug and tell him how you’ve always had them. They had just been getting worse of late. He hummed thoughtfully, wondering if there was something that may have triggered them for you. 

He pressed a soft kiss to the side of your head and leaned his own against yours. Such a soft and caring affection. You suddenly wondered why you hadn’t told him about your nightmares before. Of course, he had them too. How could he not?

The Doctor was busy wondering what he could possibly do to make them better. Perhaps a potion from Raxos Five? Something from Earth, perhaps? Whale sounds? He’d heard whale sounds were good to sleep to. He’d tried them once but found himself too enraptured by what they were saying to actually fall asleep. 

And then the answer presented itself to him in the form of a soft snore. You had fallen back to sleep on him. He sat perfectly still, listening to the soft sounds of your breath. You must have been tired. How long had this been going on for? 

The Doctor closed his eyes and smiled. Oh, yes. This was much better. 

He stayed like that all night, laying in quiet comfort as you slept without disturbance for the next several hours. Of course, companionship was the answer to this question. The cure for your nightmares. You’d just needed someone to be there for you.

And the Doctor was more than happy to fill that role for you. Happy to stand guard and keep those demons at bay. 

And he was happy to do it for as long as you needed him to. You didn’t really notice the change at first. You’d fall asleep somewhere on the TARDIS and when you woke, the Doctor would be speaking softly to himself by the controls, or he’d be sat next to you. You’d go to bed and the Doctor would follow along to tell you about some story or legend from another planet, and when you woke he’d be near then too. Never too far away- just in case you had a nightmare. 

On rare occasions that became less rare the longer time went on, you’d wake to him cuddled up to you. Sometimes asleep, sometimes reading something, sometimes just staring off into space. Either way, he was just… always there. 

He was always there when you had nightmares, too.

And one day, you’d realised that it had been quite some time since you’d actually had a nightmare at all. You also realised that it had been quite some time since the Doctor had slept in his own room. The two of you had just gravitated into this new routine. It was safe to say it wasn’t a routine you wanted to give up. 

The Doctor had noticed this too but wasn’t entirely sure he was ready to give up the closeness he’d fostered with you. He didn’t sleep much, but when he did, he’d found that he didn’t have quite as many nightmares as he did before. 

That, and, well, he simply enjoyed being close to you. 

And that was in his books- a good enough reason as any other.

[ladysmutwriter]

Morantic: Better luck next time. (1)

Bruce Wayne/Batman x Female Reader.

Inspired by "There is no good or bad, just actions".

⚠️: This chapter does not include anything NSFW, however the next chapters will include graphic content. MDNI, dub-con, violence, stalking, obsessive love disorder, eventual smut.

You stared at the window, seeing your town slowly go tinier and disappear as you went into unknown territory. Your hands nervously played with themselves, picking at your skin as the train softly moved, the occasional sound of someone coughing or someone with their phone wathing videos being the only things distracting you.

Searching in your bag, you took out your printed curriculum, such a simple paper yet it included so much from you: your full name, capacities, where you studied, etc. Your parents had made sure you never missed a single class, even in university. They had made sure to give you the best tutors; without them, you'd never have been as prepared as you were today, and now your biggest test was about to begin. Gotham. A city with no laws, filled by sin and corruption, where the strongest survived and the weakest died with no mercy.

But you were here to make a change—you knew you had it in you.

As you drifted off thinking, you slowly closed your eyes, falling asleep as the day outside became darker 'til night arrived. A few hours later, the train stopped.

(...)

You walked to your new apartment, your low heels clicking against the dirty floor as you struggled to carry your heavy suitcase, filled with clothes and books. Opening the door, you felt the smell of moisture on the walls and dirty feet. You had some work to do; after all, this was your new home. The hours passed as you cleaned, your limbs aching as you made sure that no room smelt like shit, successfully making it look somewhat hygienic; you still had to buy furniture and some food; your stomach aching in hunger—outside the morning was arriving, the first rays of sun coloring the grim city, making you give a small smile—your first day here.

To no one's surprise, getting outside was awful. On your way to a furniture store, you saw homeless people eating rats all the way to someone being stabbed in an alley. But as you bought a simple bed (king-sized; you were a messy sleeper), some stuff for the kitchen, and a couch, you went to buy something to eat. On the way to it, you stopped at a drug store, buying a first aid kit since you never knew when you'd need it.

Going back home with a warm meal in a plastic bag and the other one filled with supplies, you arrived at your apartment. You looked at the hour, 3 PM; the furniture was supposed to arrive at 5 PM, so you had some time to kill.

Sitting down to eat as you watched Youtube on your phone, then you took a nap on the hard floor, the hours of no sleep taking a poll on you, and even if it was short and uncomfortable, that nap helped as you now felt ready to keep cleaning. A few minutes later, your doorbell rang; the furnite had arrived.

As the men let the boxes inside, you began decorating the place with the new stuff—the couch next to the window, the bed in the side room, etc.—and soon enough, it was 9 PM. Feeling your stomach growl as you felt hungry, you called for some Chinese takeout. Probably half an hour passed as you were called by the delivery man, and going down to the first floor, you picked it up, paid, and went up—except you heard something on the fire exit stairs, as if someone had collapsed on them.

Peeking your head out of the window, you saw someone in what seemed like full black armor slumped against the metal stairs outside your room, a puddle of blood running down his armor.

Groaning, you thought of your chances—you had heard something about this "vigilante" everyone called Batman, your guess being that this was him, or perhaps it was some sort of comic villain that once you healed him would gut you like fish. But your morals won the fight, and you decided to climb out of your window and drag him inside your home. It wasn't easy; he weighted a shit ton and was leaving a bloody mess as you dragged him through your floor. You laid him down on your couch, quickly taking off his chest plate to see how deep his wound was. And holy sh*t, were you met with a nice view, a nice, toned torso, pale skin covered by different scars, and soft skin to the touch? You had to take a deep breath as you collected your thoughts and went to heal him up.

It probably took you about an hour and a half to stitch his wound, clean the blood, etc. Your eyes tired as you yawned, feeling proud of your little work. Moving to discard the bloody gloves, you went outside for a smoke break, hoping the stranger would wake up and lean by himself so you'd avoid the uncomfortable moment of being like, "Hey, I sort of practiced my doctor skills on your unconscious body!" Yeah, that'd be too awful.

Thankfully for you, as you were on the metal staircase smoking, the man inside woke up, his senses being on high alert as his last memory was being stabbed on the chest, his eyes frantically moving around the room, only to find first aid kits and some boxes filled with house stuff. Seeing your shape outside the window as you smoked, he took the chance to slip out of the front door without making a single sound.

[grapejuicebrat]

my worst

PAIRING: bbf!rafe cameron x reader

SUMMARY: the more you try to fix him, the more you make it worse.

WORD COUNT: 1380

NOTES: based on this.

my masterlist

maybe it was a bad idea. maybe he was a bad idea.

maybe fucking your brother’s best friend wasn’t such a good idea. maybe falling in love with him wasn’t a good idea either. letting rafe ruin your life wasn’t a good idea but at the end of the day you loved him and trusted him. rafe was everything to you.

he was your protector and your lover. someone who could hide you from the rest of the world, who would hug you and tell you that everything will be okay and you would believe him without a doubt. because you were sure - rafe loved you. and you loved rafe.

actually it was something you wanted to believe in. that your secret relationship were not so fucked up from the very beginning. you closed your eyes when rafe was stalking you and gaslighting. didn’t hear anything when rafe told you to stop talking to your friends. didn’t say anything when you saw rafe snorting a line. because he’s a man, he is smarter than you. you don’t get to decide anything for him.

and now, three years later you were ready to write a letter to rafe. of course you could call him or text him but it wasn’t the same. you wanted to imagine how rafe would sit in his royal bedroom looking at this letter, rereading every word. remembering how you said every damn thing years ago. how you begged him to quit doing drugs. how you begged him to be a family with you. and he just shrugged, not believing that it was something he wanted to have.

and now rafe would give everything so he could just have you in his arms again.

“hey, rafe.

how are you doing? i want to believe that everything is okay. i asked topper a few times about you but he refuses even saying your name. and honestly i don’t judge him. i don’t have a right to judge me, you know? actually i was surprised that he didn’t stop talking to me after he found about our thing. but that’s not the point why i am writing this letter. don’t worry.

i had a lot of time to think. and you know what? finally i have some brave to tell you those things and finally let you go. i don’t know if you have someone beside you, and i tried my best not to reach out for you and don’t ask somebody about your love life. you know, just want to respect you and your private life because now i have no right to ask you about this since we are nobody to each other.

(and no, i can’t say that we are still friends. because we are not)

i wasn't crazy falling hard for you.

i’m used to liars, used to men using me, but you know what I'm not used to? you. you’re a different whole kind of pain. you're the type of pain that rips my vocal chords that I can't even scream. you're the type to dry my tears that 1 can't even cry.you’re the type that when I feel the slightest content, your memory stabs me in the heart. so yah, I'll take the liars, the manipulators, those men who objectify me over you because you... you made me love you with every intention of destroying the foundation i walk on just to watch me fall and stumble trying to come out of this alive.

I wish I could fix everything people broke in you. I wish I could erase every person who came into your life and left holes in your heart. I wish there was a way for me to rewind your past and erase every painful memory that made your life a little darker. I wish I had the power to go inside your heart and bring it back to what it used to be.I wish there was a way to go inside your heart and make it brave again. I wish I could just cleanse your heart and rid it of all the mess, all the chaos and all the heartbreaks. I wish I could show you the kind of love you've been missing but Rafe I've learned that love doesn't work that way and healing doesn't happen unless you feel it deep inside your soul.I learned that another human being can't tell you how you should feel or who you should love or what kind of heart you should have.

Love is the only force you can't fight even if you know you're going to lose and I wish I had the power to fight with you but darling that's one battle you're going to have to fight on your own. Because I'm also still healing. I'm still working on myself.

I'm still trying to bring my old heart back. And I'm still trying to find a way to fix everything people broke in me. I'm still trying to heal the wounds inside my heart. I'm still trying to be brave again. To trust again. To love again.And sometimes I wish there was a way for me to stay without losing myself. Sometimes I wish my journey was simple and linear so I can easily turn a blind eye to reality. To the facts that I know too well. To the struggles that I'm still trying to get through.But here I am, still trying to mend the broken pieces. Still trying to make sense of my journey and still very cautious because I'm not ready to break my own heart again.Because darling I've learned that just like can't force you to change your heart or the way you love, I can't force mine to change either. I've learned that if I can't help you heal, I have to let you go. I've learned that I need to heal myself first.

In 20 years, when my daughter asks me who my first love was, I'll think of you.

I will think of nights spent talking until the sun came up. I will think of the way your smile lit up my heart. I will think of the lessons you taught me, both before and after your broke my heart.

And I will look down at my daughter and tell her your name, I'll tell her how much I loved you, how dangerous it is to love somebody that much, how I had to learn to put myself back together again once you left.

I could tell her this funny story when I fell in love with my stalker. And how you stole my panties all the time. You thought I didn’t notice? Silly you. I just didn’t want this to end. I guess I always liked you. And I was attracted to you. I confess I’ve already been a little bit fucked up. That’s why everything was good at first.

Someday we will forget all about this. I will forget how you looked at me and I will stop dreaming about you every single night, wishing for you to come back. You will forget the way I laughed at every little thing you said and how I was different; happier, with you. We will be too far away from each other and we will have forgotten everything.

Someday, what we had wouldn't matter anymore, and I will never cry for you again.

But for now, I hope i’ll meet in any other life where we would be happy. And we’ll have a family of our own home. Like we’ve dreamed. But I don’t know, maybe it was just my dream and you didn’t want all of this. Sorry, if I said anything harmful.

We were never meant for each other. But I'm glad that even for a sheer moment It felt like we were.

But you made a mistake in your letter. Maybe you were meant to be. You and Rafe met in a wrong time. Right place.

i think i’ll rewrite it but anyways i hope you liked it! share your thoughts and add share your asks to my inbox i’ll gladly answer to them!

if you would like to be added to my taglist leave a comment or let me know by sending me in my ask!

oh and let me know if you want me to write more about their relationship before the break up!

taglist: @ivy-34

[cookeybg]

The Colony Possessed - Chapter 1

Title: The Colony Possessed

Main Characters: Gotham, Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Damian Wayne

Narrators: Hal Jordan, will add others as chapters progress

Honorable Mentions: Barry Allen, will add others as chapters progress

No romantic relationships

Stuff to Know: Cryptid Batfamily, maybe a bit spooky, Hopefully a bit amusing, Gotham LOVES Batman and she always will, it's concerning

[The Colony Possessed Table of Contents]

Chapter 1 - Hal didn’t get spooked easily.

Hal walked through the halls of the Watch Tower, the silence of the comfortably cool halls welcoming. The tower itself had many rooms for the various heroes to live in, but despite the ample room and pretty sweet amenities, which included not paying rent, the majority chose to live down on earth, himself included. Many stated that it was much more comfortable to be amongst the people, the whole work-life balance that has become popular as of late. While others placed the blame on the rumors of the place being haunted. In Hal’s opinion, what establishment didn’t have those kinds of rumors? In their line of work, where anything was possible, he wouldn’t be surprised if the place actually was. It didn’t bother Hal in the slightest, he enjoyed scaring the others with made up ghost stories. It was fun giving the tower a bit of a mythos, especially when a certain speedster got so spooked. He reached the door leading to the monitor room, tapped in his code and the door slid silently open. The room was dark, darker than normal, the florescent lights unable to penetrate it. A set of glowing, hazy, green eyes stared back at him, no pupil, no white, only green. Its unfocused body leaned over the hunched figure who sat in front of the monitors, its wispy arms wrapped around the figure’s neck. Hal felt his heart sink into his stomach, felt like the oppressive darkness would swallow him, felt the tinge of something, other, stain him. “You’re late.” The sitting figure turned toward him, voice like thunder, white eyes too bright. Hal let out a very unmanly scream, his focus on the horned monster in front of him. Green eyes forgotten. The monster stood, stalking toward him. The paleness of his muzzle left him shaking, did he smell blood in the room? Without much thought he surrounded himself in a spherical green shield, his body ready to bolt. No, he should fight, running sounded better. The hair on his body stood on end, his bladder ready to let go. The figure let out a grunt, one of disapproval, familiar. “What’s wrong with you?” Batman said, grumpily. Right, he was in the Watch Tower, he was here to relieve Spooky. This was Batman, not some monster, just some human, well he claimed to be human. He let the sphere dissipate and clutched at his chest trying to get his breath back. He looked around the room, it was well lit, the monitors doing their monitoring and Spooky was just standing there in all his broad shouldered, thin waisted, menacing demeanor. Yeah, there was nothing strange here, except for the bat themed furry. “Nothing.” Hal said, clearing his throat. Batman stared at him for an uncomfortably long time. Hal did his best to look nonchalant, the cold sweat at his back slowly drying, trying to control his slight trembling. No way in hell would he give Spooky the pleasure of knowing he got scared of him, no surprised, he got surprised. Batman grunted and walked passed him. Hal shivered, he could swear he heard something laugh, could feel cold fingers touch his cheek in passing and see a dark tendril trailing behind the black clad man. It was probably just his cape. Yeah, he must have been more tired than he thought, imagining things, jet lagged from his trip to Oa…the one he took three weeks ago. He texted Barry, asking him to join him at the tower, he didn’t want to be bored during his shift. That’s all it was, not the possible darkness coming to life. Hal didn’t get spooked easily.

Let me know what you think. I get super excited seeing comments, a bit nervous too, but it brings me joy.

I really enjoyed typing up Gotham possess so hopefully this one is just as fun!

FYI: I'll start adding the chapter in the title to my posts to make it easier to find.

[xjulixred45x]

We need more Yandere females damn it. I hope I am not too late to ask. I can request for a Yandere Nobara drabbles wherein she drags reader around the shopping district dressing them up to her hearts content

YEEEESSSS NOBARA MY QUEEN!!

Yandere Nobara Kugisaki x Reader: Dress up Darling

Don't look at anyone in particular...don't talk to anyone too long...don't smile in public, don't talk in public...not until she arrives.

is what reader repeated to herself, while waiting for her "girlfriend" in one of the department stores that she frequented while she went to get them some food.

A part of her felt like she should be grateful for the time alone, since Nobara tended to be a bit...overwhelming whenever they got together for this type of date (shopping for clothes, thanks to Kugisaki's interest in fashion AND her partner. ) but reader knew better.

The only thing more deceptive than Nobara's carefree attitude was the false sense of security and freedom it gave.

reader was well aware of the darker side of her "partner", even without having done anything excessive, even without having hurt her, Nobara found ways to make her see the extremes she would go to to reach her...

including going after the people she loved.

Therefore, reader was forced to be the mediator, the one who brought peace, to the displeasure of her family and the joy of Nobara. She was as accommodating as possible with her to avoid incidents, but she also gave her opinion. She tried to give sweet and "romantic" gestures of her own but that were genuine to a certain extent.

and most importantly, she made it clear that she only had eyes for Nobara. nobody else. That way no one would get hurt. It was the best way to handle the situation.

and Nobara was obviously thrilled with this. It was the closest thing she had to a "normal" relationship with her beloved and she didn't even have to resort to more brutal methods. She was HAPPY with this.

To be honest, if Nobara had not shown this darker side of her, reader would have seriously considered getting involved with her.

There were good moments between them. Nobara was overwhelming, yes, but the constant attention and affection was something new and even...flattering to a certain extent.

These types of dates, the clothing ones, although they were also so that Nobara could dress her in nice clothes, also felt like a moment to feel good about herself, because Kugisaki showered her with compliments and nice words about how she looked. It made her feel...good in a way.

It was so strange, and sick.

-"Hey cutie! Did you see something you liked? We can go see it when you finish eating"-

Looking at things in retrospect, if no one said it, both of them just seemed like a couple of normal girlfriends rather than a stalker forcing her victim to be one. and sometimes that was the difficult part, pretending that it wasn't like that.

Nobara took the reader to eat in one of the corners of the square with fewer people and simply watched her eat (it seems like she already ate on the way to the store?) with a smile on her face. To Reader disconfort.

Once she finished, she began what, for Nobara, was the "real fun", dressing her up.

Nobara took her to the little store that reader had been "browsing" and picked out some clothes that she thought would look good on her "girlfriend" while reader did the same for Nobara. It was a part of this custom that always made reader nervous, because although Nobara was never angry with any of her choices, she was not as knowledgeable about fashion as Kugisaki, she was afraid of causing some bad moment.

Normally the outfits that Nobara chose for reader were pretty cute or pastel things, with the occasional urban touch, it wasn't what reader would normally wear, but she couldn't say that she didn't look good.

Every time Nobara saw her in a new outfit she would clap lightly while saying things like:

-"You look absolutely adorable!"- or -"You look beautiful baby!"- things like that.

and no matter how many times they had done this, reader was surprised at how Nobara seemed to genuinely like the clothing options she had chosen for her, even going so far as to wear them on later dates or give her kisses on the cheeks every time she gave her one...

At the end of the day, as usual, they ended up carrying more bags than they could carry, and Nobara called this friend of hers (Yuji?) to do it for her, threatening him that she would gouge out his eyes if he looked at reader or He dropped some of the items she bought for her.

At this point, reader did not know if it was a mere exaggeration between colleagues or a fortuitous threat.

She only knew that this relationship was more fucked up than she thought. Because everything wasn't so bad after all.

Shares, reblogs and comments are very welcome!

Fair warning, after this i'm gonna get some drabbles from HADES bc i got a new obsession. But this was real fun to write!

Thanks for the Request ❤️

[startrekprodigyfan]

Okay yeah… I binged the whole season in one day.

It was actually surprisingly easy to do so. And while that means my planned slower recaps and speculation are basically out the window, I also now just don’t have to worry about spoilers for weeks on end.

I’m still going to keep spoilers under a cut though. Even if you block key hashtags, stuff can get through, and just making the spoilers further down a text post you have to scroll past to continue browsing tumblr doesn’t help either. Hide that content behind a cut, please!

Non-spoiler thoughts:

It was so good. It was honestly more Trek than I could’ve possibly expected. And to all those early naysayers who were confused by the Protostar and where it was supposed to be in the timeline after the first episode of season 1, all of that gets answered and put into context by the end of season 2. Thank GOD! Every single plot point people brought up and thought was a “plot hole” gets filled and explained.

It’s not as emotional as the first season, but the situations and events definitely still have a lot of weight and the stakes are so high for so long too! There’s a surprising number of dark events that happen throughout the series. Way darker than even I’m used to watching the animated shows that I do. Kudos for not skimping on the peril and stakes of the mission for the sake of kids being traumatized lol

And while there is the potential for more, if we never get a season 3 this would still be an extremely satisfying ending all the same. I am very happy there aren’t any loose ends here.

Prodigy is without a doubt the most reliably consistent Star Trek show that’s ever existed. Not a single episode feels like filler. Not a single episode wastes time or characters. Even the goofy episodes have character development and callbacks later, and I genuinely don’t think there’s a single episode that I would skip or not watch again. That’s an amazing feat in and of itself, but as a Trek fan that’s just unheard of! Kudos all around!

Now for my longer spoiler thoughts under the cut:

Okay…

How the HELL did you guys make Wesley Crusher’s time traveling arc sooo good? As a TNG fan I was always annoyed with the “traveler” storylines and with Wesley’s character in general. Even as a kid I never really liked him. But this storyline makes him interesting and gives a lot of weight to his powers. He’s almost like The Doctor from Doctor Who, someone who has so much going on in his head that he’s sort of lost it.

That honestly was the biggest surprise to me. I was convinced that Hologram Janeway (and the construct) were somehow manipulating time and events because of the wormhole. Janeway would be trying to help them, while the construct was trying to stop them. That was my working theory for the start of the series. Imagine my surprise when it turns out it’s Wesley Crusher! wtf!?

I do like that he gets to reunite with his mom finally. And that he learns he has a brother.

Incidentally that’s something else I was not expecting. How MUCH of this series was going to be timeline connected to the events of Picard and Lower Decks respectively. Like, wow… they connected the Mars Shipyard explosion and the Romulan evacuation plot points that made sense for the story. Like holy crap, then FINALLY getting into Starfleet only for the shipyards to explode and Starfleet is severely crippled. I did not expect that to happen, and it’s sadly realistic too.

I still hate the Romulan evacuation storyline from Picard, but as a matter of keeping things consistent it makes sense for it here. And while I don’t like it being a canon event, it’s overall good for the consistency of “prime” trek.

I do like that Dal became a second in command. I’ve always felt like Dal was never really destined to be the captain and that he’s always been better at helping others be their best selves. So it makes sense for his character arc that he learns he doesn’t need to be in charge to make a difference and that there’s no shame in being second.

Overall I am still reeling from how much Trek happened in this season. There’s never a dull moment. Unfortunately I am not optimistic about a 3rd season. Netflix picking up a mostly completed series to broadcast on their streaming service is far FAR cheaper than paying for an entire season to be created outright. And sadly, as much as I want more Prodigy, I have a feeling it’s just not on people’s radars enough for it to do gangbuster numbers enough to convince Netflix to pick them up for a 3rd season. I hope I am proven wrong, but I will not get my desire for more season unrealistically hyped up.

I do want to rewatch the entire show now, because there were clues left in the first season that only get answered at the end of season 2. And I love closed loop time travel storylines like that! I can’t wait to go back and connect the dots knowing what I know now.

An excellent series. Probably one of Trek’s best in decades. A true love for the material and the characters and the legacy of Trek lore all rolled into an amazingly animated package.

[pascaloverx]

Hit The Road

Chapter Fourteen (FINAL)

previous chapter epilogue (+18)

Summary: You are a hunter of supernatural beings who is forced to experience a new reality: being a vampire. The only thing stronger than your thirst for blood is your thirst for revenge.

Author's note: the characters mentioned here were created by Kevin Williamson and Julie Plec, based on the book series of the same name by author L. J. Smith. They don't belong to me. That said, this fanfic will be short. This fanfic may address scenes of violence, inappropriate language and adult content. Minors should not interact with this story. Also some information here is not in the order of the series or the same way it happened in the tv series.

Your plan didn't work out. Damn it! Stefan broke down the door amid your screams of pain and grabbed you, throwing you to the ground. Strangely, him throwing you to the ground might have hurt more than being burned in the sun. You don't remember much after that. You can imagine the Salvatores being furious because you tried to end your vampire life. You're almost certain that you're tied to a chair. You try to move your hands and feet but can't. Your eyes slowly open, revealing Damon's room, and then you realize that you are indeed trapped. Damon comes out of the bathroom half-naked, with only a towel wrapped around his waist and his hair wet. You look at him, furious. But you notice that even though you're angry, you don't want to kill him.

"What did you do to me, Salvatore?" You almost shout as you watch him dry his hair with another towel. He's ignoring you, undoubtedly. He takes off the towel from his waist, revealing his naked body, and then slowly starts to put on some clothes.

"You know, you've always been one of the smartest people I know. But trying to kill yourself while a group of people who care about you is trying to find a solution to your problem was the stupidest thing I've ever seen." Damon's tone of voice is sharp; he seems genuinely bothered by the direction this story would have taken if Stefan hadn't stopped you.

"Fuck off, darling, I wanted to die. Not because the idea of a slow and painful death makes me happy, but because dying would prevent me from hurting you." You respond rudely, still trying to get out of the chair where you're tied up. Damon smiles, watching you struggle to untie yourself.

"You won't get out of there without my help, my love. That's because humans hardly ever manage to get out of places on their own. And yes, I called you human. In fact, while you were trying to kill yourself, I was able to track down your ex-best friend Dimitri. He had a cure for vampirism with him. And let's say he was happy to hand it over to save you." Damon's tone becomes almost too dark as he speaks the last part. He definitely killed Dimitri. I can't say it terrifies me, but I think Dimitri sought Damon's wrath.

"You turned me human and killed Dimitri? Wow, it's shocking the amount of things you can do." You speak, facing Damon, almost as a challenge, even though you know you should be grateful for him stopping you from dying or killing other vampires.

"I wouldn't have killed your hunter friend if he hadn't refused to free you from that damn spell. One thing led to another. But at the end of the day, everyone got what they deserved." Damon speaks as he approaches you. He crouches down on the floor, facing you. His blue eyes seem darker, and his expression looks tired.

"We're back to square one, aren't we? You're a cruel vampire, and I'm a human. What now? I age while you remain immortal, watching me slowly die in front of you? Then when all this is over, you go back to Elena and live a vampire life with her?" As you speak, you feel like you're venting to Damon but at the same time complaining.

"We both have at least a few more years before you start worrying about age and dying. I gave you back your human life so you could enjoy it a little longer. But when you want immortality back, just like your vampire boyfriends." Damon unties you, touching your hand lightly to your cheek, wiping away the tears you were shedding without even noticing.

"Did you hear about my idea for everyone to date each other at the same time? Seems like almost dying left my mind clear." You speak, smiling softly, trying not to appear confused by the changes in your life.

"I want you to know that I made a choice too. I chose to stand by the idiotic woman who married me in a cabin because neither of us knew what we wanted." Damon kissed both of your hands gently, then gave you a peck on the lips.

"What a lovely way to make me feel bad. But I won't backtrack, I love you and your brother. Individually but significantly." You pull Damon's face closer to yours, giving him a longer kiss.

"I have to go get more blood bags from the hospital. I think you have a visitor speaking of that, see you later." Damon kisses your cheek and leaves the room almost immediately. You get up from the chair and glance around Damon's room.

"Stefan, I'm no longer a vampire, but I know you're there." You say as you lean against Damon's bed, relaxing your sore back. Being human is too painful.

"I thought it would be weird to come here, to my brother's room, to see you." Stefan says, entering the room with a smile on his face. 

"It's not strange. I guess now we all agree that we're okay with the fact that I..." You almost finish the sentence but are interrupted by a strong and sincere hug from Stefan, who crouched down in front of you.

"I hate you, you know?" Stefan says, kissing your cheek, as if he wanted to savor every detail of you. You then give him a gentle kiss on the forehead and sigh.

"Thank you for saving my life. But next time you knock me down, I'm gonna punch you." You say as you hug him gently, running your fingers through his hair. And so your life as a vampire took a pause so that your life as a human could return, alongside the Salvatore brothers. Damon made a deal with you that when you're ready to be a vampire again, he'll turn you. Obviously, Stefan thinks you're better off as a human. For now, you continue in this romantic confusion where you date Damon sometimes, Stefan other times, taking life one day at a time.

The End...