#it's also nice to look at with the benefit of hindsight and reflection

[svtskneecaps]

thank you for bearing with my purgatory posting and i'm also glad to see i'm not the only one who still has this fungus eating away at my brain matter. seeing other purgatory posting in the tag makes me feel better lmfao.

i'm not done btw, posting will (probably) continue as i revisit vods. wanted to extend a thanks in the interim, since i know how contentious the event was in the moment. i kinda thought the general consensus was most people hated thinking about it, but there's been a weird amount of engagement and yknow other people talking. makes me happy to know i'm not alone here!

[umgeorge]

george russell is interviewed during the press conference on media day, las vegas - november 20, 2024 (transcript under the cut)

Interviewer: "George, let's come to you now. Brazil last time out seemed like a missed opportunity for you and Mercedes. What lessons were learned?" George: "Yeah, it definitely felt like a missed opportunity. I think, having reviewed the race, you recognize how quickly things can change, and we made the pit stop, which with the perfect benefit of hindsight, that was incorrect. But had that virtual safety car stayed for ten seconds longer or fifteen seconds longer it would have been absolutely the right thing to do. So it just shows how quickly an external decision can change your race and how you need to be very quick to adapt to that, and we kind of were a little bit too focused on that pit stop and not actually seeing that a car that was beached on the road was being pushed off and the VSC was ending." Interviewer: "And how much encouragement do you take from the pace of the car in Brazil; the front row start? I mean, you've had a stack of points finishes since the summer break, but how close are you to having a race winning car again? George: "I mean, Brazil was definitely a bit of a one-off, I think. When it rains, it presents opportunities, and for ourself it was an opportunity. For everyone at Alpine it was a huge opportunity, which they capitalized. And I think we need to look back to the sprint qualifying and the sprint race for a bit of a fairer picture of where we are, and that was behind the front four teams. Interviewer: "George, final one: When you look at this season as a whole, look at the races you've won, but look at also the frustrations as well, how will you review the season?" George: "I think now we've done almost a full season, we totally understand why the car is so up and down. It has just such a narrow window, and when we can set the car up in a way that we exploit that window, we have a race winning car. But when you go to different circuits and you have to change where you position the set-up, we totally fall outside of our working window. So it's obviously frustrating when you know the car has that potential, but I think for everyone you have these fluctuations in performance. We've done a good job to capitalise on races that we did, had the pole positions when the car was capable of pole positions, and ultimately we just need to make a more consistent car over the course of 24 races." Interviewer: "Alright. Thanks to all three of you. Let's now open this to the floor, to the broadcasters first. David."

Journalist: "David Croft, Sky Sports F1. George, to you and with your GPDA hat on, please. In between the last race and this, the FIA have dispensed with the services of Niels Wittich, the Race Director. Is this something that the GPDA were aware of before it happened? Are you concerned that there are three races to go and we now have a new Race Director, especially coming in to a street race like Las Vegas, which we saw last year can have a whole load of unforeseen problems?" George: "Yeah, we definitely weren't aware. It was a bit of a surprise, I think, for everybody, and it's a hell of a lot of pressure now onto the new Race Director; just three races left. So I think for us… Often, as drivers, we probably feel like we're the last to find out this sort of information, and when it involves us kind of directly it would be nice to sort of be kept in the loop and just have an understanding of what decisions are being made. So yeah, time will tell. I'm sure the new guy will handle the position just fine, but definitely not an easy race for a new race director." Interviewer: "Okay. Thanks George. Yep, next one." Journalist: "Nelson Valkenburg, Viaplay. Also for George, but I'd love for you both to chime in, as well. Last week, a pointed statement from the GPDA towards the FIA and especially towards the President. The tone seemed stronger than I expected. Does that reflect the mood in the field of drivers, as well?" George: "I mean, talking as a fellow driver, as opposed to sort of my role with the GPDA, I think everybody felt, with certain things that have happened over the course of this year, that we wanted to sort of stand united. At the end of the day, we just want to be transparent with the FIA and have this dialogue that is happening, and I think the departure of Niels is also a prime example of not being a part of these conversations.

And, ultimately, we want to work with the FIA to make the best for the sport that we all love, so I think it's kind of us now putting the pressure back on them to work with us and work with everyone, including F1 as well, just to maximize this opportunity which Formula 1 is in at the moment, which is an amazing time to be a part of." [time jump] Journalist: "Diego Mejia, Fox Sports. Question to George: I think that the GPDA created an Instagram account to publish this letter. Is there going to be a different way of… Was there a need to make things more public now from the GPDA side when creating this more public forum?" George: "Yeah, well I think times are changing and the fans are a huge part of this sport, and I think if we're talking about openness and transparency and including everybody in this for the greater good, then having it on a social media platform makes perfect sense." Interviewer: "David?" Journalist: "David Croft, Sky Sports. Sorry, George, GPDA public forum, this one. Did you and the GPDA think that the Race Director needed replacing?" George: "I mean, I can only talk on behalf of myself here, as opposed to any of the other drivers, but… Yeah, I think there's no secret that some were not happy with what was going on, in terms of the decisions that were being made. But, at the end of the day, I think if you worked together with us, that we could have helped improve the matter, and I think sometimes just hiring and firing is not the solution. You kind of need to work together to improve the problem. So let's see what this new sort of era is going to bring, but every time there is a change, you have to take one step back before you make the two steps forwards."

[zahri-melitor]

Fear State: Joker War was better.

Sitting with it for a bit: I don't think this was a bad event. I think it underdelivered, and that your interest and affection for it is going to revolve around your interest in the three main plot strands and the characterisation in each.

If anything, it reminded me in particular of Resurrection of Ra's Al Ghul and of Legacy: the main plot is getting an assist from people's affection for the character dynamics in the B plot. (Hands up if your definition of what happens in Resurrection heavily revolves around the Dick-Tim-Damian beats and then goes 'oh yeah Ra's comes back to life by stealing the White Ghost's body').

There was the Batman, Scarecrow, Simon Saint and Miracle Molly plot. There was the Dick-Babs-Tim-Cass-Steph plot. And there was the Harley-Ivy-Selina plot.

I think the main weakness is that the three plots didn't come together fully enough at the end to tie things off; they had three separate resolutions, that didn't overlap sufficiently in terms of 'we have fixed things, now Bruce you can go have your big emotional confrontation' or 'these three things blend together and we couldn't succeed if any of them had failed'.

Which: fair. I've read worse events. I've read worse Bat events in the golden age of Bat book events (Oh Officer Down, what if you were good).

In terms of the Bruce plot: I don't mind all of Tynion's character creations, I just had the 'well that was nice, do we ever get to see any of them again' feelings about it. Three years down the track with the benefit of hindsight: Ghost-maker looks like he's got potential sticking power. Punchline has some value as a villain option to pull out. The rest are...well, that's nice. Next?

I think Tynion's work was stronger when he was focused more heavily on rebuilding and embroidering existing narratives (though as I said, his opening intro of Ghost-maker was solid). But it's still perfectly enjoyable and readable. He hit some very caring-Bruce beats through this story. (The Scarecrow unfortunately got overshadowed as a threat through this as there was simply too much other stuff going on).

In news surprising to nobody, I enjoyed the Queen Ivy storyline far more when it was in Catwoman than when it was in Harley Quinn. I shall not be continuing to pick up HQ. Sad to see Ram V's Catwoman run wrapping up here, as I feel like he lost a lot of page space to events. Also can see direction for the Poison Ivy launch in the wake of this.

The Batfam storyline mostly to be found in Nightwing (and back ups) was very...yes okay I get why people are infuriated by Tom Taylor because it's so close to great. The elements I wanted to see were there. He blew up the Clock Tower because apparently he wanted to redo that element of War Games as part of the 'reflect but change Devin Grayson's era' push. The characters he had together all have the ability to bounce off each other in interesting ways. Everyone is being a bit too nice to each other. We didn't need round...six? of someone tries to take over Oracle (Various Calculator plotlines, Brainiac virus, Gus Yale as Oracle, the Burnside AI, Oracle Robot...). But there were sparks there I enjoyed and moments I want to draw hearts around and look, there are relationships being re-established here that have been off panel for a WHILE.

[quoteablebooks]

Genre: Historical Fiction, Mystery, Retelling, Adult

Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars

Summary:

'Reader, I murdered him.' JANE STEELE is a brilliant Gothic retelling of JANE EYRE from Edgar-nominated Lyndsay Faye, for fans of LONGBOURN and PRIDE AND PREJUDICE AND ZOMBIES. 'I loved it' - Elly Griffiths.

Like the heroine of the novel she adores, Jane Steele suffers cruelly at the hands of her aunt and schoolmaster. And like Jane Eyre, they call her wicked - but in her case, she fears the accusation is true. When she flees, she leaves behind the corpses of her tormentors.

A fugitive navigating London's underbelly, Jane rights wrongs on behalf of the have-nots whilst avoiding the noose. Until an advertisement catches her eye. Her aunt has died and the new master at Highgate House, Mr Thornfield, seeks a governess. Anxious to know if she is Highgate's true heir, Jane takes the position and is soon caught up in the household's strange spell. When she falls in love with the mysterious Charles Thornfield, she faces a terrible dilemma: can she possess him - body, soul and secrets - and what if he discovers her murderous past?

*Opinions*

This book has been sitting in my “to read” list on Goodreads for a couple of years easily, so when the next books in the series I am currently binging didn’t show up on time, I figured it was time to give it a try. Jane Steele is set in a universe where Jane Eyre is a novel and our main character, Jane Steele, reflects on her life is similar and different from her favorite literary character. Given that setup, it is not hard to guess some of the beats of the novel, but Jane Steele is a very different character than the sometimes meek Jane Eyre and how she faces a world that is not gentle or caring for anyone, but especially young women. Now it had been a while since I’ve read Jane Eyre, and it took me a while to truly enjoy the literary classic, but I believe Jane Steele is a retelling that masterfully pulls on the reader’s memories of the classic, for better or worse, while weaving a story that is truly its own. As I mentioned above, I don’t remember the finer details of Jane Eyre as it’s been a couple of years since I’ve read it. That being said, much like the source material, I found the time at the school to drag a little pace-wise, but it is important to understanding both Janes. When Jane got back to Highgate House I had a hard time putting the book down, but it took me a good couple of days to get to that point. Still, this retelling really dives into the darker areas of England during this time period, of the schools, girls were forced into, and the English interests abroad. Jane Eyre does not make the world seem easy for young women without means by any means, but Jane Steele delves into the dirt and darkness because she believes she belongs there and that gives the reader a look into the lives of women we don’t see in Jane Eyre.

As for English interest abroad, the novel does not pull any punches in regards to the East Indian Trading Company and what they did in India, though this novel was focused on Punjab. The information about Sikhism and those that follow that religion was enlightening and I’m happy that Faye included reference books to look into the history of the region and religion further. That being said, so many novels of the time (that I’ve read) completely ignore what is happening in India and what the British presence, either as the East India Trading Company, military, or missionaries is rarely addressed. Faye had the benefit of hindsight and no concern of dealing with being accused of treason, but I found Jane Steele’s London more well-rounded and real than Jane Eyre’s, even with all its ugliness. I love how Faye handles Jane’s character arc and what it says about how childhood events and traumas shape how we see ourselves. If Jane hadn’t felt as if she killed Edwin (who deserved it and would have been a beast of a person like Jane Eyre’s cousin ended up being) then she would have never run to Lowan Bridge School and none of the other deaths would have followed. Jane believed herself wicked due to how those around her treated her so wicked she became. While it is easy to excuse all of Jane’s murders, as Mr. Thornfield does in the end, it is clear to see why Jane has such a low opinion of herself but also why she trust her out abilities, maybe too much confidence in her own abilities. When someone reframes her childhood and her relationship with Clarke, it changes everything about the Jane way sees herself. Obviously, it doesn’t absolve all her sins, but it makes her feel as if she is worth something and that can change a lot about the way someone moves through the world. The secondary characters are also vibrant and well-rounded. From the enigmatic new residents of Highgate House to the girls that suffered in Lowan Bridge School and even Jane’s mother and Agatha. No matter how much page time they received, every character felt real and that they had a life outside of their interaction with Jane. The villains are horrible but in ways that make sense and the heroic characters are far from perfect. Mr. Thornfield has his own trauma to deal with, but that makes him a good fit for a romantic partner as Jane’s whole life has been made up of traumas. It is a match that makes much more sense than Jane Eyre and Mr. Rochester honestly. There is also the representation of non-straight and non-white characters, in a positive light, which is always nice to see in a historical novel. While it took me a while to become invested in the novel and Jane’s story, much like Jane Eyre, I came to love just about everything about the book. I will probably pick up a physical copy at some point just so I can reread it because I admit that I read through the last couple of chapters so quickly because I was anxious about what would happen next. It’s been a long time since that happened. Jane Steele is a four-and-a-half-star book that I am rounding up to a five-star. The half star was the slow start and the distance between Jane and the reader at the start, which I know emulates the original text but I wasn’t a fan of it there either. While I expected Jane to be a little more wicked, I truly enjoyed my time with this novel.

[kindahoping4forever]

Dress // Ashton Irwin

Part of the fun of using prompt lists is finding ways to incorporate everything when someone requests multiple prompts in one piece. I had the skeleton for this story fairly quick and as always, @cal-puddies​ was a problem solving queen and helped me fine tune it into something that made sense. I wrote this maybe a month ago and got caught up tinkering with it and am so glad to finally get it out into the world!

Prompts: “I know for a fact that you can be a hell of a lot louder than that.“ and “I’m gonna fuck you so hard that you forget you ever even met that asshole.” and “Wow, I didn’t realize you were that… Flexible.”

Warnings: Supportive/protective/flirty friend!Ash, the slightest drop of angst, brief mention of unnamed character cheating, ridiculous amounts of sexual tension, spontaneous (but protected!) backstage sex

Word Count: 3k (on the nose. The 🤡 nose of course)

Masterlist

Let  me  know  what  you  think!

Sign up for my taglist!

————-

“I can kill him if you want,” Ashton offers.

You consider your friend’s offer. “I mean… I won’t stop you but I also won’t dye my hair and go on the run with you, I just got it to the shade I’ve been wanting.”

“Fake friend,” he scoffs.

Like most nights when you were visiting on tour, you and Ashton sat behind the venue, people watching and talking shit. Tonight’s conversation had a very specific subject: your cheating ex, a record label rep, who you just found out would be attending tonight’s show to scout one of the opening acts.

“I just hate the thought of you having to see that asshole again,” he seethes. “And I hate that I’m the one putting you in that position, as if I haven’t already done enough.”

You met “that asshole” (as Ashton exclusively refers to him) when you visited a 5SOS promo tour he was running so Ash has always felt somewhat responsible for your heartbreak, despite your insistence that he shouldn’t. It was a decent relationship; it never got too serious but you had fun and occasionally felt understood. But towards the end, he was always travelling and long distance made things difficult. Things became even more difficult when you realized he’d been cheating on you basically the entire time. You were hurt but your confidence was broken more than your heart.

You admit you’re nervous about potentially running into your ex but Ash is downright furious so you let him rant. You don’t realize that you’ve gotten lost inside your own head until Ash is snapping his fingers in front of your face. “Obviously I do love listening to myself talk but what I’m saying is for your benefit,” he snarks.

You shake your head. “Sorry. I think you can understand, I’ve got a lot on my mind right now.”

“That’s what I’m saying, I can’t stand seeing you like this.” He pauses and then enthusiastically squeezes your knee. “Here’s what you do: go back to the hotel while we’re at soundcheck, put on something sexy - Oh! That black dress you wore when we all went out in Austin? Do your hair, go all out and he’ll feel like a fuckin idiot if he even catches a glimpse of you.”

“Really?” You ask, skeptically.

“Trust me,” he insists, pulling you out of your seat. “It’ll make you feel good even if you don't see him.”

He’s right and you do feel better trading out your unofficial tour uniform of a messy bun, band merch and jeans for some soft curls, your favorite black slip dress and a pair of tall boots. You never thought of this dress as particularly sexy until Ash mentioned it but as you assess your reflection, you have to agree that it does flatter your body nicely. You throw on the leather jacket that Ash gave you for your birthday and head back to the arena feeling ready to take on the world, or at least your ex-boyfriend.

The guys all hoot and holler at you when they come back to the dressing room after soundcheck. (Ashton, of course, takes credit for your transformation even though all he did was suggest it.) You gratefully accept their sincere compliments, laugh at their hyperbolic ones and by the time they have to leave for their meet and greet, your face hurts from grinning ear to ear and you’ve essentially forgotten you were ever nervous in the first place.

But as they file in afterwards, Ash immediately notices your mood has changed drastically. You’re curled up under a blanket in an easy chair, mindlessly staring at your phone, your hair has been thrown back into a bun and as he tries to get a closer look without being too obvious, he can see your eye makeup is a bit smudged as if you’d teared up, if not full on cried.

He knows you well enough to know that if he hounds you, you’ll shut down and he’ll never find out what’s wrong so he just keeps an eye on you. But you know him well enough to know when he’s going to great lengths to ensure he’s paying you extra attention but not too much. He sits on the arm of your chair even though there’s plenty of actual seats available, he goes out of his way to include you in even the tiniest of conversations and when dinner arrives, he brings you a plate of food without being asked. You’re sure you’ll appreciate it in hindsight but right now you just want to be left alone.

You offer to keep Calum company when he goes out for a cigarette and as you’d hoped, besides a casual “You good?” and a side hug, he lets you stew in peace. When he starts to head back in, you tell him to go ahead, that you need another minute to yourself.

He pauses. “Ash isn’t gonna like that,” he chuckles. “But I’ll head him off best I can.”

Cal’s prediction is correct and you’re not alone for three minutes before Ashton comes barreling outside in search of you; you roll your eyes at the sight of him, fresh out of his ice bath, wet hair hanging in his face, white t-shirt and black shorts clinging to his damp body. You almost catch yourself admiring the spectacle before he starts making his way towards you and you remember how annoyed you are.

“Hey!” He brightly greets you.

“Jesus Christ, Ash,” you snap. “You’re gonna catch cold out here like that and then you’re gonna have to cancel shows and I’m gonna feel like it’s my fucking fault just because you can’t leave me alone for five goddamn minutes.”

His eyes briefly widen at your outburst but he quickly regains his composure and takes your hand. “Come with me,” he says quietly.

He leads you to the band’s warm up room and you throw yourself on the couch with a huff. He snorts and lifts your lower half up, sits close to you and rests your legs in his lap. He taps your thigh, “I’ll leave you alone if you tell me what’s going on.”

You sigh in response.

He tries again, “Don’t tell me you’re still nervous about that asshole because I told you ---”

“I saw him,” you interrupt.

“What? When?”

“While you were at meet and greet. I went out to the bus to get my charger and we passed each other on my way back,” you explain.

Ashton clenches his jaw. “What’d he say to you? I’ll go find him right now, I don’t fucking care.”

“He didn’t say anything,” you say plainly.

“What do you mean?” He asks, confused.

“I mean he looked right at me and didn’t say a word,” you explain. “Like I was nobody, not even worth ‘hello.’ Like I never meant anything to him.”

He comfortingly rubs your legs in his lap and watches you process what you’re feeling.

“I’m not sad, I don’t think. Because fuck that guy, for real,” you contemplate. “I think... I just feel like an idiot for letting him get to me and for caring at all he was going to be here and I really feel like an idiot for going to the trouble of putting on this ridiculous dress ---”

“The dress was an excellent idea, you look amazing,” he insists.

You purse your lips. “I look embarrassing, I hate this fucking thing,” you tug at the material in disgust.

Ashton lightly slaps your thigh in protest. “You love that dress. I love that dress.” Noting your look of disbelief, he smirks and continues. “Listen, it’s a good dress. I’ve had dreams about you in that dress. Like... dreams,” he emphasizes, suggestively wiggling his eyebrows.

You feel your face getting much warmer much faster than you would’ve expected. You study his expression to try and figure out how serious he is. “Liar,” you determine with a laugh.

“Oh you want details? OK, you first wore it to that label party and I dreamt we were at my place, talking on the couch kind of like this,” he gestures. “And I ran my hand up your legs and played with you under your dress until you begged me to fuck you.”

As you take in his confession, your eyes flicker across his broad frame, all of your fantasies he'd unknowingly starred in running through your mind. You had no doubt you were attracted to each other but you’d always enjoyed the kind of friendship where you both felt comfortable enough to flirt openly without expectation. But this feels like new and dangerous territory. You’re pretty sure you don’t mind it.

“You seemed to remember me wearing it in Austin?” You press the subject, your voice surprising you with how breathy it sounds.

He chews his lip before meeting your eyes. “Dreamt you rode me in a dark corner of that club we were at,” he answers in a low voice. His hand is still absentmindedly stroking your leg, though you are acutely aware it seems to have climbed a couple inches higher since this conversation began.

You’re shocked when you hear your own voice saying, “And when you wake up from these dreams…”

“Hard as a rock,” he offers without hesitation.

His answer hangs in the air as you sit up, resting your arm on the back of the couch behind his head. You’re as close to sitting in his lap as you could be without actually doing it. You’re not sure where the audaciousness comes from but you look him straight in the eyes and ask, “How many times do you think you’ve cum because of me?”

Ashton stares at you a beat longer than you would’ve liked but you never fear that you’ve gone too far. He only breaks eye contact to briefly glance at your tongue darting out to lick your lips; he leans in slightly but has clearly decided to let you lead how far this goes. Finally, you hear his gravelly voice respond, “Far too numerous to count.”

You nod briefly and then you find yourself closing the gap between you. You kiss him with more confidence than you’ve felt all day and your assurance grows as he deepens it with a groan. You tangle a hand in his hair and smile against his mouth when you realize how curly his hair is from air drying post-ice bath. You get lost kissing like this for a few moments before you pull off his shirt and move to lay back down on the couch, wrapping your arm across his broad shoulders in hopes he'll follow you.

He allows you to pull him on top of you and he swiftly adjusts your position so that he can rest between your legs. You're feeling bold so you lick into his mouth and raise your hips against his, electricity running through your body when you hear a slight moan in response and feel his growing arousal through the thin fabric of his shorts. It's your turn to offer up some sounds of pleasure as he focuses his attention on kissing along your jaw and down the length of your throat.

Ash pulls away briefly to search your face for permission as his hand starts to make its way up the skirt of your dress; you guide his hand to lightly brush over your panties and satisfaction flashes across his features when he feels you've started to soak through. You buck into his touch and he takes the hint, dipping into your underwear and running his fingers along your folds.

"Already so wet for me," he teases. "You ever thought about this before?" The large pad of his thumb rubs gentle circles around your clit as you feel two fingertips dancing around your entrance.

You whimper softly into the kiss he offers and he takes that as encouragement to slide his fingers into you. You pull away from his lips and answer with a shrug, “This? A few times.” You rock against his fingers for emphasis. “But not as much as I’ve thought about being filled by your cock,” you banter shamelessly.

He grins at your assertion, hooking his fingers in a way that has you gasping. “Oh, is that what you want?” He pulls his fingers from you, eliciting first a disappointed moan from you and then an aroused one as he promptly sucks them clean. “I’m gonna fuck you so hard that you forget you ever even met that asshole.”

Ash hikes your dress up over your hips and works your panties down your legs while you sit up and reach for his backpack on the coffee table across from the couch. You dig for only a few seconds before your hand resurfaces holding a condom. He gives you a surprised look and you toss it to him, snorting, “There’s no way my nosiness even cracks the Top 5 most shocking twists of tonight.”

He pulls his shorts down enough to get his cock out and rolls the condom on, chuckling. “I don’t know if I’d call us finally fucking shocking,” he comments.

“I guess that’s true,” you pull him into a kiss, laughing against his lips. “You’ve been trying to get it in for a while.”

He shakes his head fondly and settles himself over you once again; he pushes in and you both groan at the sensation. While you adjust, he pecks along your neck and the tops of your breasts where your dress has fallen down slightly; you decide you need more of that so you pull the bodice down further, exposing your chest to him. He immediately takes advantage and fits his mouth around a nipple while his hand toys with the other one.

You move your hips against him, signaling that you’re ready for him. He starts trying to build a rhythm and while it feels good, it quickly becomes apparent that the limited space of the couch isn’t giving you enough room to spread and accommodate his large build. It’s a giggly tangle of limbs as you both maneuver to try and determine the best course of action, eventually settling on you resting your legs on his shoulders.

Ashton begins slowly pumping his hips again and you both instantly feel the difference in depth; you moan and grabble at his back, bending your legs further towards yourself to get him closer. He growls at the sight. “Wow... I didn’t realize you were that flexible.”

“Missed opportunity for those dreams you’ve been having,” you tease, digging your nails into his arm as his cock drags against a particularly pleasurable spot.

He picks up speed, thrusting into you hard and deep, your pleased sighs and gentle whines spurring him to move faster and fuck you rougher. He notices you biting your lip to keep from crying out and decides that simply won’t do. 

“Lemme hear you, gorgeous... need to know how I’m makin you feel. Thought you couldn’t wait for my cock to fill you,” he pants, pounding into you vigorously. “I know for a fact that you can be a hell of a lot louder than that.“ He presses down on one of your legs as he thrusts, reaching an even deeper spot inside you and you let out a guttural moan.

Your head is spinning as you look up and see a blend of lust and pride all over his face; you’d love to fire back some clever retort but he’s fucking you so good the best you can manage is a whiny “Fuuuuck… Ashhhh… pleeeease…” You’re surprised you already feel the beginnings of your orgasm creeping up on you and you claw at his neck and chest as your breathing intensifies.

“GOD, Ash… gonna cum,” you announce. It’s the last coherent sentence you produce for a while as you cry out repeatedly, your legs shaking and your pussy throbbing around his cock. You don’t usually orgasm from just penetration and the intensity of it is blinding.

He fucks you through it, holding your legs tight and encouraging you. “So pretty when you cum… feels so good around me,” he murmurs. Moments later, a series of grunts signal his impending release and you moan for him, watching as his hips stutter and he cums into the condom.

Ashton eases your legs down from around his shoulders and leans in to kiss you sloppily. He lays his head on your chest and you stroke his hair as you both process what just happened. He gets up after a few seconds to dispose of the condom and a comfortable silence fills the air as you both attempt to make yourselves presentable again.

He hisses sharply as he pulls on his shirt. “Goddamn, you scratched the shit out of me, woman,” he laughs in disbelief.

“Well, I’m gonna be walking a little funny for the next couple days so I think we’re about even,” you grin, relieved that at least this part of your relationship has remained unchanged.

You’re both just about ready to head back out when something occurs to you. “Hey, what did you mean when you said you know ‘for a fact’ that I can be loud in bed?”

Ash looks half-guilty, half-amused as he answers, “When you and that asshole first got together on that tour… I had the room next to you… things were overheard. Really difficult not to overhear, if I’m being honest.” He chuckles and shrugs.

You burst out laughing, cackling so hard you need to sit back down on the couch. Ashton looks at you in confusion. “I… I…” you struggle to get the words out, wiping tears from your eyes. “I was absolutely faking it for him those nights… most nights, to be honest.”

He giggles first out of shock and then at his next thought. “Well, if he’s anywhere backstage right now, he definitely just heard what a real one sounds like,” he smirks.

—-

Crystal’s tag list: @cal-puddies @mymindwide​ @suchalonelysunflower​ @pxrxmoore​  @loveroflrh​ @ghostofmashton​ @sexgodashton​ @feliznavidaddycal​  @castaway-cashton​ @boomerash @cashtonasfuck @megz1985 @ashdork-irwin @ashtonangst @angelicfluffs @findingliam-o @abadaftertaste  @myloverboyash @youngbloodchild @irwinsbetch​ @ashsun​ @everyscarisahealingplace​ @wiildflower-xxx  @metalandboybands​ @another-lonely-heart​ @realisticnotes​ @makeamovehemmings​

Click here if you’d like to be tagged for future fics and click here if your name is on my list but crossed out (Tumblr won’t let me @ you) 

Cass’s tag list: @cocktail-calum @1dthewantedlove @youngblood199456 @lustingforwunder @calumsphile @neso-k @rosecoloredash @radmcqueen @justayoungandwisefangirl @itsnotmyblood  @lietoash @pushthetide21 @5sosfanficrec @therealmrshale @fallfrxmgrace @lukashemmos @justarandomgirlthatyoudontknow @5sos-microwave @madbomb @sweetheartmendes1000 @literally-anythin @lfwallscouldtalk @clemmingstylins0n @ccnicole02 @lustingfor5sos @buteverythingiscopacetic @rosesfromcth @bodaciousbonzi1996 @ashtontotheirwin @captainam-erika-trash @xxgendurvikixx @jazzyangel242 @bluebabycal @rhiannonmichellee @iovehemmings @glitterycalum1205 @katcontreras @cashtonasfuck @ificanthaveu @kindahoping4forever @here-for-the-uproars @canterburyfiction @opheliaaurora  @queer-5sos @banditocth @gigglyirwin  @glitterycalum1205 @rebelwith0utacause @thesubtweeter @myloverboyash @sublimehood @irwinkitten

[evakuality]

Mia, episode four

1.  Hanna staring deep into Mia’s face as she talks = not loosening my conviction they should be together.  But either way, I like this little scene.  One thing I think Druck does well is translating the ideas of all the russ-stuff from the og into its own thing that makes sense in its own context.  These suggestions really are all terrible, though.  I’m not at all surprised that Jonas and Matteo are taking the mickey out of it (side note - I missssss themmmmmm).  I know I’m seriously anti Alex and so I’m not feeling even remotely charitable, but I really dislike the way he’s walking in all ‘I have a much better idea than you guys’ and acting as if he’s better than them.  Plus, then they ended up using it and... ugh.  I just... I really hate William and poor Alex is bearing the brunt of that.  It’s probably not his fault; I just brought a whole lot of baggage into this viewing.

2.  I do love that Leonie is still ‘in charge’ in this way.  It’s a nice continuity from s1.  And she’s not perfect in any way; a lot of her little mannerisms and the way she acts and speaks from s1 are still here, but she’s mellowed a bit.  It’s not as directed and petty; she just likes being in charge and running stuff.

3.  Wow a lot is going on in this first clip.  Amira is getting her voice heard like a boss here!  (sidenote #2: she is stunning in this outfit with this makeup etc).  It’s obvious that she’s pretty used to Mia and her very set opinions (a bit like Leonie but she does it in a different way) and knows the only way to get what she/they need is to basically steamroll over every attempt Mia makes at speaking.  I like the point that Mia’s principles aren’t as important as the people who wouldn’t be able to pay the larger price.  Like, I get it - she’d rather not have anything to do with Alex (me either tbh) but Amira is also right.  Excluding him on principle isn’t fair to the bulk of the students.  However, ‘he shows up with all his money and his damn poster and now he’s a nice guy?’ - I mean, exactly.  Still.  There are other considerations and it shouldn’t be black and white.

4.  Oh, this walkway/ramp thing again.  My beloved setting returns!  Honestly, I really really love this school building.  It’s got so many little corners and changes and different spaces and this space in particular is used to really good effect.  Like rn, Alex has the high ground and while Mia is trying to stand up to him, it’s ineffectual because they’re having to use high angles on her vs low on him.  He still has the power.  And even when they come together, and there’s a seeming meeting of equals, he’s still got the high ground, even if just barely.  And as he walks away with his insufferable smirk, he regains that high ground even more (do I like this plot at all?  No, but I do like the film techniques used to explore it). I just really really love the way the camera works in these spaces.  Unlike a ‘normal’ school, this one has so much depth and variety even when they reuse the same spaces.  None of the times this thing is used is the effect exactly the same even when it seems similar.  Hmmmm, now part of me wants to look at every time it’s used and see how it’s done.  Somebody stop me.

5.  Yikes - I’m only 6 minutes in and I already wrote an essay.  Okay, let’s try to be more brief as we continue.  Oh.  Mia alone and in a nice space with warm tones around her (unlike the other two scenes this episode).  I do like these moments when we hang out with our mains and I’m glad we’re starting to get that more with Mia.  Very interesting that she chooses to fold and iron her clothes as a reaction to the ‘mega geil’ comments about Alex.  Clearly she’s starting to feel out of control about the whole business with Alex and the things he’s saying to her, and this is one way of her reasserting her control.  She likes having things under control and we see it coming out in these odd ways now that she’s found something that is out of her control.  She clearly gets some peace out of it, but it’s so rigid that you can tell it must be about to crack soon.  Nice touch with Hans bringing the comic relief.  I love him so much!!

6.  Lol, Matteo looks super disgusted by this chirpy conversation about Hans’ affliction.  I like that his characterisation is still traceable.  He’s not AS low and isolated as he seems in his season (the benefit of perspective I guess), but he’s still slumped and isn’t as engaged in the things around him - here and even with Jonas earlier.  It’s just nice to see because I know his season came pretty close after Mia’s so it’s good that it doesn’t seem to come out of nowhere.  Continuity - Druck is good at it.  Also how uncomfortable he is when the discussion turns to what gay penises look like - clearly he already has some ideas about how himself and equally clearly he doesn’t want to talk about ‘gay’ anything when it might be connected to him.  Little does he know, his phone already gave them ideas.  But I do like him already being the biggest Hanna/Jonas shipper - like, he’s so determined to make up for his interference that he’s fully trying to interfere again, and it’s a nice segue into ‘why does anyone spend a whole evening stalking someone’ - yeah, we see you Mia.  You’re more intrigued by Alex than you care to admit.  I enjoy these little seemingly unimportant clips of them just hanging out that actually advance the plot or characterisation.

7.  Hanna: Mia, please come to this place to save me from being alone with Jonas.  Mia: I’m on my way (despite not wanting to go at all) - are we seriously telling me she’s not at least a little bit in love with Hanna?  Seriously.  The need to help Hanna out is strong in this one.  But also... more mirror reflections, but this time she’s more centered (not entirely but more so) and her whole face is in shot.  Things are ‘coming together’ so to speak.  And ion hindsight, I can’t even seem to spot Jonas?  Is he even there?  Was Hanna trying to get Mia there through stealth????

8.  Yikes, this thing they’re doing where they say stuff about each other is a bit brutal.  Amira’s ones are mostly pretty awful, and targeted at her religion.  Very interesting that for the others, they seemed more focused on who they are rather than ‘what’ they are, but it’s not the same for her?  Like, I know we explore this a bit in her season but there’s been so much through the whole 2 seasons so far that I feel even more like we lost the opportunity to truly explore that more.  RIP the s4 she deserved!  

9.  I don’t like Alex still (he’s still too arrogant and irritating for me) but I do like the quiet slow way Mia is warming up to him.  She doesn’t want to, but you can see her re-evaluating him and starting to recalibrate her thoughts.  Like it’s not rushing and he is at least a little more interesting than William and has more charisma so I can see why she would become intrigued once she shifted her perspective.  Unlike William, who remained gross through the entire thing.

10.  So Mia’s desperate need to be in control and have everything perfect even extends to Alex’s place and his stuff?  Considering she still thinks she doesn’t like him, she’s taking a lot of trouble with his space.  Suuuuuper awkward alone times here though I do like this shot of Mia exploring Alex’s place and the camera just sort of following along with that and taking in what she sees.   Being this tight on her really plays up how ‘tight’ her PoV is and how she’s not seeing outside the bounds of what she wants to see.

11.  This is a very very long clip, but there’s something charming about it too.  Alex is... hmmmm, not exactly a good guy as yet (he’s still doing some quite douchey things), but he’s starting to open up and be real while still trying to protect some stuff that’s and that’s a lot more believable than William was.  I know he was supposed to be like that, too, in a lot of ways, but I never found him convincing.  Not the way Alex is.  I don’t like him (this is genuinely not a type of guy that appeals to me at all) but I can see why he might win Mia over.  Which I never did understand with Noora.  We shall see - there are things from later in Noora’s season that fill me with incandescent rage, and if those happen then I can’t warm to Alex properly at all.  But for now, I can see why Mia might be won over.  Even if I can’t forgive him for the way he treats Kiki and acts like he’s the only one with all the right answers.

Lots of long clips in this one with a whole heap going on.  It would have been something to go through this live, I’m sure.  I found lots of little moments in this one to like, and I like how Druck has managed the characters and the interactions to make it feel natural.  Considering that I really cannot stand the og of this and that one was very long, I think they’re doing a fairly good job of keeping this one engaging and a decent pace even if I still dislike one of the characters.

[cheryls-blossomed]

Just to let you know this won't be the last irisco scenes this season carlos is coming back for the 150th episode and the finale. So that's probably when you'll get your proper goodbye from iris and cisco and I can't wait to see his reaction when he sees nora again and also meeting bart .... those are the type of things I'm looking forward to. I actually enjoyed this episode just as a fan and not someone to pick apart everything but just watch it as a viewer and see how happy carlos was filming this made me enjoy it even more. Could it have been way better absolutely but I already went into this episode with the intent of it being a otf type of episode and who wrote the episode so my mind already knew what this would mostly turn out to be. Now this episode is out the way I'm really ready for the ball to start rolling with these stories and storylines. Was it perfect absolutely not was it my favorite nope but I can say I enjoyed it. To those fans that I see that think Iris is being pushed out the show to me I call BS also from what carlos has mentioned in his interviews he sees that eric is very accommodating to his actors and makes sure they are good not just about their character but them as a person he tries to help them and work with them the best he can and to me that's a good showrunner. Eric has a long way to go when it comes to fixing stuff in the writers room but I will say he's made that set a better place to feel comfortable and work at. Also CP was talking about her experiences with that network which I think eric has tried to do what he can and what he's allowed to do for his actors wellbeing. As for Westallen as we seen in 7x11 when GG and CP are given great material they can really work with it and even when they don't they do their best. Now the Joe and Iris scene I couldn't tell you why it was cut ... timing .... or did they feel it wasn't needed if iris was literally having that same type of convo with kamilia so they choose that one we may never really know so I tend to not worry about those things but I get why some fans would be mad about that especially how it seems to always happen to iris getting her scenes cut but it is what it is I'm not going to keep harping over spoiled milk. I enjoy your blog so much cause it gives us fans a safe space no matter if we agree or not so thank you for that. Here's to hoping the season turns out better for you and the fans that aren't enjoying it right now. I'm more of positive optimistic type of person so I tend to see the positive side of things especially for my mental health. Anyways I don't want to take up to much of your time sorry for this long ass post I'll try to keep it short next time!

No need to apologize, nonnie! I appreciate you sharing all your thoughts. I'm glad that you enjoy this blog, and I'm also glad that we can healthily disagree at times, because I think that's important. And optimism is honestly a very good thing in this life.

I definitely don't think Iris/Candice is being pushed out of the show. There's nothing to suggest that from this season, and I’m not sure why anyone would think this. 

Oh yeah, I mean, I don't really have much hope for meaningful Iris/Cisco scenes, but a small goodbye in the finale would be nice. And I'm glad that Cisco will get to meet Bart and Nora.

Re the Iris/Joe scene: I think it's pretty clear with the benefit of hindsight that that moment was one showcasing Iris's POV about why she was struggling to hire a new photojournalist and that Joe was helping her work through her feelings about Kamilla leaving. It was hopefully a moment of vulnerability, and it wasn't going to be the same moment as the Iris/Kamilla scene, because it was supposed to be Iris working through what she was originally struggling with in the KamIris scene. I would have felt better if Iris and Kamilla got another scene for the sake of closure, where we got to see them have this really supportive, sweet moment, but they did not get that. Part of it is that the show really didn't care about Kamilla at all in the episode and didn't give her any proper sendoff. Additionally, there's the continued fact that Iris scenes are used for promo, but her scenes seem to be the first to end up on the cutting room floor, especially important character-building moments for her, often times shared with her family (her father, her husband, and her daughter). They very well could have cut something else to include the Iris/Joe scene, but they deliberately chose to cut this scene. 

Anyways, with regards to Eric, I don't really agree with his stylistic choices as showrunner, and I am somewhat frustrated as a fan by his... apparent lying about story-lines, therefore indicating that he knows what the people want, but he chooses not to focus on what the people want, but it's clear he's a good boss when it comes to the cast and that he's made the set safer and is the first showrunner who has really listened to Candice and addressed her concerns. I think to a degree we have to separate who Eric is as a boss and our own concerns and grievances with regards to story-telling as fans (which are certainly very valid and reflect upon him as showrunner, but are separate from what he’s done to make the work place environment better).

[yfere]

The Gods Have An Agenda: The Stormlord vs Uk’otoa (compare and contrast)

They really like sending their followers dreams!

Ok, so after my last posts on the Yasha’s Wings Dream I got a truly scary influx of unhappy anons, whose main critique (some said much more nicely than others) was that I “took the dream too literally” when Zuala was framed as a “shackle” holding Yasha back and the correct choice was to fly away and leave her (metaphoric, absolutely) wife chained up beneath her.

So I thought about it, and set my posts to private, and... there’s a point here, in that at the very least Yasha’s in-dream actions don’t necessarily have to reflect on her in-reality decisions. Still, that doesn’t change the actual figurative framing made by the god, suggesting that certain past relationships are “problematic” and need to be either destroyed or left behind in favor of what the god is offering.

Let’s look at Fjord, for example. Fjord also had a god(?) who chose to frame his relationships with Vandran and Sabian as obstacles, as something holding him back. In Uk’otoa’s dream, they were made into statues and literal obstacles, and Fjord progressed through to the power fantasy conclusion of the story by...blasting them to bits. Now, with the benefit of hindsight we know Fjord has literally zero real-life inclination to destroy Sabian and Vandran For Teh Powah, but.....the dream does offer a commentary on what Uk’otoa wants out of Fjord, the decisions it would reward, the mindset it wants him to adopt. Namely, to sever ties with his past bonds to pursue the power and salvation offered by Uk’otoa.

Now--if we’re to take Yasha’s in game actions so far and her playlist, saying “[Zuala] still urges Yasha forward. To explore. To live. To love. Yasha will carry Zuala with her forever and always,” Yasha conceives of Zuala not as a memory to be left behind but as a source of inspiration and guidance, that must be held onto and “carried” in order to offer her the valuable help she needs to heal and love again. The issue is that the message the Stormlord’s dream chooses to represent through the personage of Zuala is in direct opposition to that..... that she’s a potential “shackle,” (those are Dream!Zuala’s actual words here) that to listen to her indistinct, calling voice would drag Yasha down, would be a temptation preventing her from accessing the flight and forgiveness the Stormlord is offering. This is the text of the dream. What the Stormlord advocates for in the end is a “break” from the past, a cutting of ties as if they are chains, “being reborn,” in a sense that means leaving past history, ones first birth and lifetime behind. I have to say.... there’s a difference between breaking from past controllers and abusers (ie: Obann) and choosing to fly away from the voice of your past love whom you grieve (Zuala). There is. And what Yasha actually does with Zuala’s memory may very well have nothing to do with what she did in the dream..... it’s just interesting the Stormlord decided to frame the situation like that.

(((((((((((((and, am I aware this is likely not What Was Being Aimed For In This Scene? Absolutely! But from the text of the dream, is that a valid sense of what transpired? well.... yeah!)))))))))))))))))

[commentaryvorg]

If you could change anything from Kaito's character arc in V3, what would you change?

Honestly? The short answer is nothing.

Kaito's character arc is fantastically crafted. There are so many tiny, seemingly-innocuous lines and moments that actually serve a vital purpose in either showing us what's going on in Kaito's head despite him never talking about it, or in pushing his arc along further, all of which I had so much fun talking about throughout the commentary. Granted, a lot of it is subtle and difficult to spot - but then it should be, considering how much Kaito tries to hide his issues. When you look for it, though, it is very deliberately there and not meaninglessly ambiguous at all. There's not a single part of Kaito's arc where I'm thinking “this was written badly”; even his phobia, as much as I'm sad that it gives Kaito less screentime and less being-himself in chapter 3, serves multiple purposes for the story and for Kaito's arc. Kaito's writers are the best and I adore how much care and attention they put into writing him.

I've seen a fair few people, presumably fans of Kaito, say “Kaito deserved better”, and... they're wrong. Well, unless they mean it in a purely in-universe sense, in which case of course he did, but then so did everyone, that's kind of the point. But if they mean it in an out-universe sense, in that they think Kaito deserved a better story for how good of a character he is? No! Kaito's story is amazing. He is the best-written character in this game and got absolutely everything he deserved, narratively speaking. I genuinely believe this with all of my heart. If other people don't see it, then they aren't looking hard enough - which is understandable, but also a shame when those people are fans of Kaito who presumably want to enjoy his story as much as they can. I just want to take all of these people and show them my commentary so that they can realise just how good Kaito's arc really is and love him even more like he deserves. (And I am endlessly thrilled that the commentary does seem to have had that kind of effect on some people!)

Obviously I would also love to see a story in which Kaito learns that it's okay to show weakness to his sidekicks, completely untangles his horrendous double-standard for heroes and begins to have healthy, mutually-supportive relationships with his friends. But... that was never this story. This is a story in which Kaito's messed-up view of what it means to be a hero literally gets him killed while all but destroying his sense of self-worth in the process, yet he still manages to keep fighting and make at least some kind of difference for his friends anyway, because he still is a hero despite what he might believe about himself. And that's also a fantastic story to tell!

It's kind of like something I've also considered about Ryoma. It would have been quite possible to tell a story in which Ryoma overcomes his issues and finds a reason to live and survives, and I'd have loved a story like that with him, because Ryoma is great and deserves to be happy. But the story of how he didn't manage to overcome his issues and tragically died because of them is also a compelling story that it's possible to tell with Ryoma's character - and, well, someone had to be chapter 2's victim. With characters as ripe with potential as Kaito, or Ryoma, or really any complex and well-written character in anything, there's so many different and equally compelling stories that could be told with them. But you can't tell all of those stories at once, and that's okay.

(That's why it's great that we have fanwork, to explore all of those other possible stories that couldn't be told in canon!)

With all that said, since this is about Kaito, you know I don't want to just leave it at the (very elaborated-upon) short answer. So here's a few things I thought of anyway that I might want to change if I could - all of which are really very minor nitpicks that barely matter in the grand scheme of things.

The absolute first thing I'd do is remove those four-ish lines in which Kaito is vaguely sexist in a way that is provably out-of-character for him. Gone. Expunged. Never there. Suddenly, magically, there is no longer a portion of the fandom that believes that Kaito is supposed to be sexist, and we literally only changed like four lines of his dialogue. Funny, that.

I'd also want to slightly change the parts where Kaito freaks out in a too-extreme way over ghosts once his phobia's been revealed. Not only is it not really quite in character for him to overreact that badly when he'd be doing his best to hide it, it also comes across like Kaito's phobia is being played for comedy. Which it shouldn’t be. He is literally mentally ill; that's not a joke.

These are the only two aspects of the way in which Kaito's written that I find actively bad in any appreciable way. And, yeah, they're really minor things that don't have anything to do with his actual character arc. That's kind of my point here!

...Though, admittedly, the part where Maki punches Kaito after he clings to her during his phobia-overreaction does actually play a small role in his character arc in that it seems to shift him into beginning to freak out more about his physical illness instead. Hm. Not sure what I'd do about that.

In terms of things I might change that are more meaningful and relevant to Kaito's arc, as I've said, there's really nothing that's actively bad at all. Rather, we're just getting into things where I'd maybe want to add a little bit more on top of what's already there.

Kokichi Doing The Thing in trial 4 - aka, repeatedly heaping insincere praise onto Shuichi in what's really a transparent attempt to jab at Kaito's jealousy and inferiority complex - should have continued for longer than it did instead of being weirdly confined to one specific quarter of the trial. There are plenty of moments after that that would have been perfectly good opportunities for it! And yes, this is absolutely part of Kaito's arc, shush. Not that this would have significantly affected how Kaito would respond or make his breakdown any more spectacular than it already was, mind you, because Kokichi's jabs at Kaito were not nearly as important as Kokichi wanted them to be.

Then there's the part in chapter 5 where, after being kidnapped and offscreen for a while, Kaito has evidently become okay with Shuichi being more of a hero than him and can just be openly proud of him again. There's no specific evidence indicating why this happened, even though it's a pretty important shift for Kaito. This was the only part of Kaito's arc that I speculated about in the commentary without having anything concrete to back up what I think went on there. So if possible, I'd like to add some hints at that.

...That's easier said than done, though, since Kaito gets so little screentime at this point in the story for unavoidable plot reasons, is still not willing to directly talk about his issues, and was never even really consciously aware of his toxic double-standard for heroes that was the root of this whole problem that he's finally begun to fix. It's entirely possible that this is something the writers already wanted to hint at more than they did, but they just couldn't find a way to plausibly do so in that situation. This also still wouldn't be me changing anything about Kaito's arc, just making part of it a bit more easy to notice and figure out.

Lastly - though this isn't even strictly part of Kaito's arc - I'd love to have Shuichi acknowledge more than he does that Kaito had been suffering, and for him to reflect on that and wish that Kaito hadn't been so selfless (just like he did at one point with Kaede!). Obviously I wouldn't want to make him more aware of it for most of Kaito being alive, because that'd change too much and because Shuichi's obliviousness is part of the excruciating tragedy of it all. But after hearing at the end that Kaito really was sick and dying all along, and that Kaito was jealous of him, Shuichi should have been able to recognise at least some of Kaito's vulnerability in hindsight. Having some reflection on that at the end of chapter 5 or at some point during chapter 6 would be lovely to underline and draw attention to what Kaito's story was really about from Kaito's perspective. It might even prompt more of the fandom to actually realise this and notice what an amazing arc Kaito had, which sure would be nice.

...In fact, there's a very small window of time in which Shuichi could have plausibly acknowledged this kind of thing a little more than he did while Kaito was still alive to hear it and potentially benefit from it. So, actually, now that I think of it: the one change I'd make that'd have any real impact on Kaito's arc at all? It'd be this.

[fromtheringapron]

WWE WrestleMania XXVI

Date: March 28, 2010.

Location: University of Phoenix Stadium in Glendale, Arizona. 

Attendance: 72,219.

Commentary: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Matt Striker. 

Results:

1. WWE Unified Tag Team Championship Match: ShoMiz (The Miz and Big Show) (champions) defeated R-Truth and John Morrison 

2. Triple Threat Match: Randy Orton defeated Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase Jr. 

3. Money in the Bank Ladder Match: Jack Swagger defeated Christian, Drew McIntyre, Dolph Ziggler, Evan Bourne, Kofi Kingston, Kane, Montel Vontavious Porter, Matt Hardy, and Shelton Benjamin. 

4. Triple H defeated Sheamus. 

5. Rey Mysterio defeated CM Punk (with Serena and Luke Gallows).

6. No Holds Barred Lumberjack Match: Bret Hart defeated Vince McMahon. Bruce Hart was the special guest referee.

7. WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match: Chris Jericho (champion) defeated Edge. 

8. Layla, Alicia Fox, Maryse, Michelle McCool, and Vickie Guerrero defeated Kelly Kelly, Beth Phoenix, Mickie James, Gail Kim, and Eve Torres. 

9. WWE Championship Match: John Cena defeated Batista (champion) to win the title. 

10. No Disqualification Career vs. Streak Match: The Undertaker defeated Shawn Michaels. Per stipulation, Michaels retired.

My Review

WreslteMania XXVI is a difficult show to sum up. It’s a pretty good WrestleMania, but also one that happens to be all over the place in tone and focus. Perhaps its reflective of how indeterminate the future of the WWE felt at the start of the 2010s. The roster was such a mishmash of eras that you’d be forgiven of not having a clue where the hell the company was going. John Cena, Batista, and Randy Orton were at the top of the card after their rise to superstardom in the 2000s, but the spotlight was still shared guys who rose to stardom in the ‘90s like Triple H and The Undertaker. Then there was a new generation of talent—The Miz, Sheamus, Drew McIntyre, etc. — bubbling in the undercard who seemed poised to rocket into the top at any moment. But wait! Time was also given to  . . . the 13-year-old feud between Bret Hart and Vince McMahon?!? Suffice to say, with the show splintering off in so many different directions, it’s not surprising it has some misfires.

Let’s start with the good stuff, though. The main event between Undertaker and Shawn Michaels is fantastic and I’m gonna throw it out there that I like it more than their match from the previous year. The stakes feel higher, the suspense level feels higher, and there’s more of a story here than just Shawn needing to beat Taker. He puts his entire career is on the line here, for heaven’s sake! And speaking of his career, like many at the time, I didn’t have a clue this would be Shawn’s last match. Most on-screen wrestling retirements are never legit, so there was plenty of basis to believe this one would be no different. But alas, this one was different, and we get about as good a sendoff as we could’ve gotten for someone who’s been dubbed Mr. WrestleMania.

On another show, the WWE title match between John Cena and Batista would’ve been the main event. Their match here is great fun. It’s actually an end of an era for the two men who were crowned as the leaders of the next generation at WrestleMania five years earlier. Batista would move on to Hollywood shortly after this and, while certainly not his last WWE run, it would mark the end of his career as a full-timer. Interestingly enough, Batista was really coming into his own as a heel at the time of his departure, even winning over fans who previously couldn’t stand him. He would resurrect his heel run in 2014 and 2019, again only for a short spell. A shame we haven’t been able to spend much time with arrogant heel ‘Tista and his impeccable designer fashion, but then I guess that’s what makes it so special.

As for what doesn’t work, I probably don’t need to go into much detail about the Bret/McMahon clash. The basics of the story are solid — Bret gets his long-awaited revenge on McMahon, with his family right by his side. It’s just not super fun to watch in execution, however well-meaning it may be. They match is dragged out much longer than it should and it takes the crowd completely out of it. Another misfire is the Money in the Bank match. This would be the final iteration of the match at WrestleMania before it becomes its own pay-per-view. It’s clear the concept needs some rejuvenation by this point as it’s now a lazy, bloated affair where everyone gets in their allotted number of spots and there are way too many participants. To cap it all off, the ill-advised decision is made to push Jack Swagger into the main event scene, an idea which would run out of gas in a matter of months.

The show seems to have some weird pacing issues as well. In the era of the Network, I’ve grown so accustom to Manias being stretched to the point of exhaustion, so it’s always little odd to go back and watch one that feels like it doesn’t have enough time. It’s almost like it’s struggling to figure out how spread out time across a card so stacked. The tag opener and Rey Mysterio vs. CM Punk feel like abridged versions of the matches we would’ve otherwise gotten, while Bret vs. McMahon gets more time than either combined. Even Money in the Bank feels somewhat rushed. I’m definitely not a huge fan of WrestleMania becoming a seven-hour event, and WWE has proven they struggle with time management on longer Manias, but this is one show where it seems an extra hour absolutely would’ve been to its benefit.

At its best, WrestleMania XXVI is a nice sampler plate of eras, even if struggles to give you equal portions for all of them. The multi-generational makeup of the card ensures there’s a little something for everyone and even closes the books on a couple of legendary careers. You’re bound to dislike some it but for better or worse, and this is a cheeseball thing to say, it definitely puts the “showcase” in the Showcase of the Immortals.

My Random Notes

No joke, I really did not think this would be it for HBK and even seriously thought Taker’s streak was in jeopardy. Am I a fool for thinking that? Maybe, but I like that wrestling conned into believing it in a way it hardly ever does anymore.

I feel like the temple entrance set is something that should’ve been more impressive than it is in actuality. They just stacked LED screens on top of each other and just rolled with it. It looks like something from Minecraft.

Ah, this show reinvigorates my fond feelings for Matt Striker. Such a handsome chap! Not surprising at all he would appear on a Bachelor ripoff a whole decade later.

I chuckled at Bruce Hart being the special guest referee for Bret vs. McMahon. You just know he huffed and puffed his way into that one, much to Bret’s annoyance.

I also chuckled at Diana Hart-Smith walking down to the ring with her best “evil, vindictive femme fatale on the cover of a pulp novel” look. God bless her. She needs to write another book.

I know Rey singing Happy Birthday to his daughter is meant to be a heart-warming thing but if I were a kid in the same situation, I would be traumatized. Just think of how uncomfortable it is when a room full of people is signing at you and then think of enduring that in an arena filled with thousands of people. CM Punk did her a huge favor by crashing the moment, as far as I’m concerned.

Not saying anything new here, but the whole Spear thing with Edge is cringe as hell and it’s for the best that it’s been forgotten in the annals of his career.

I know some people like to mock Vickie Guerrero doing Eddie’s frog splash, but I personally thought it was a sweet moment while staying true to comedically heel Vickie.

The official theme song to this Mania is “I Made It” by Kevin Rudolf. A time-period appropriate choice, I must say. I feel like the dawn of the 2010s is the only time a Kevin Rudolf could be a success.

I identify myself as someone who will always be more embarrassed by John Cena haters than Cena himself and I gotta say him posing next to the guys in the front row hating his guts is fucking hilarious. Cena is funny sometimes when he just straight-up trolls.

On the Legacy fallout: The storytelling for this was weird as hell. Am I the only who remembers that one time on Raw where they teased Ted turning face and the crowd was actually kinda into it? Then they completely abandoned it for whatever reason and just had Randy be the breakout face (as if he needed it) and dunk on both Cody and Ted at WrestleMania. I feel like Cody’s AEW origin story more or less began here.

Awwwwe, this show has little baby Drew McIntyre. It’s so interesting watching this with the benefit of hindsight. I remember a lot of people Not Feeling It when he was anointed as the Chose One, and truthfully I wasn’t feeling it at the time either, but watching it back really makes you appreciate how much hard work he put in to get to where he’d be a decade later. A lot of folks were dreading the inevitable Drew world title run in 2010. The title run did happen, but it was much later and much more welcome than anyone back than anyone could’ve imagined.

[call-me-jennn]

the rest.

I was always missing assignments in school. Late for everything. Constantly losing my stuff. Simple things were hard for me. Bus timetables were so confusing. I’d put things off until the last minute, even if it wasn't something difficult to do. I don't even know how I didn't get rejected from UW, I didn't even send my transcripts with my application. They had to send me an email requesting them. It’s really hard for me to leave the house. I had this thing about hair, I was constantly pulling mine out. I couldn’t do the things I wanted to do and I couldn’t explain why. I couldn’t talk to anyone about it because I didn’t understand what was going on. I’d wake up in the morning and everyday was the same. Like I was drowning, suffocating, gasping for air. It felt like a pain deep in my bones, and I’d have to fight through it just to get out of bed.

I’d feel these cyclical emotions. Depressed because I didn’t know what was wrong with me, why I couldn’t change and feeling like I couldn’t find a way to make other people understand. The constant anxiety of what others were thinking, I wondered if everyone hated me as much as I hated myself. I always dreaded the inevitable questions I felt like I’d get asked. “Why don’t you just do it?” It being anything. Why don’t I just get up, why don’t I just eat, why don’t I just go to class. Why is it so hard for me to do normal things everyone else can.

I managed my life enough to exist. I was always late to work, but I was well liked and good enough at my job that no one said anything. I wasn’t a reliable person in anyone’s life, but I have a good sense of humor. And so on. I was terrible, but I have redeeming qualities. I think what always drew me to the idea of love was the concept of unconditionality. That there could be someone who loved all of you, even the darkest parts. And that could be enough to pull you into the light. I was addicted to it. My relationships consumed me, I thought it could be what would save me. It’s hard to say now where the faults lie. Was it all me? Was it all them? I think I’m starting to come to the conclusion that while there was fault on both sides, there was damage I inflicted that I didn’t intend to. A guy can only take so much. Is it really a reasonable reaction to cry when a guy teases you and says you’re not funny? In hindsight, this is a clear example of rejection sensitivity. But the reality is, if I don’t recognize these things in the moment, my immediate reaction is just going to be to cry. My brain plays tricks on me. And it’s too much. When things would break down, I’d feel like my only hope for escape was shattering. I’d fall apart. I pretty much lost my will to live. It’s not cute to talk about and it’s something I don’t really like to share. I felt like I was useless. 

Work hurt a lot. It’s nice to be good at your job, and to perform well. It’s nice to be a part of a good team. But there’s a feeling I’d get watching the doctor review my surgical plan. As she’d place the implant using the surgical guide that I designed, that I milled. This feeling of sickening longing coupled with sadness and disappointment. When she’d ask, wasn’t I great? Yeah… you were great. And I? I was just there, wishing it was me.

I guess the point I’m trying to convey is that it’s hard. It was hard for me and I felt helpless for so long, and now I don’t. Far be it for me to attempt to be any type of advocate but I wasn’t expecting to get a response of other people experiencing some of the same things I went through. So I just want to say that if you’re feeling this way, helpless or useless, I did too. Don’t gaslight yourself and show yourself some compassion. Ask for help. You want to try and fix yourself because you’re the type of person who wants to take accountability for yourself. But you can’t fix your eyesight by trying harder any more than you can fix your brain that way. There’s something that isn’t right. It’s true that everyone experiences the emotions you feel in some way or another. But when it’s debilitating, when it’s hurting you, when it’s breaking you down. That’s not normal. So please ask for help. 

I never fully saw how hard my life was before until now. I don’t have to fight to get up. I just get up. I just eat. I just wash the dishes. I don’t have to negotiate, I don’t get confused or lost. I don’t need help to be told it’s time to do things. I just look at the time and tell myself to do it. It takes a little effort to do some things, instead of taking all of my effort to do one single thing. I didn’t know that it was supposed to be like this. It’s supposed to be like this. You don’t know how much your whole world changes from this one thing. Struggles are an inevitable part of life, but existence isn’t supposed to be a constant struggle. So if you’re struggling, I pray for you to feel the relief I do. 

I’m not big on sharing specific personal details in this way. This is uncomfortable for me. But I’ve been reflecting a lot lately and the realization I’ll never be able to fully grasp how much of my emotions and actions in the past were me or a product of ADHD. And therefore I’ll never know how bad things really were or weren’t. Maybe it wasn’t as big of a deal as I made it. Maybe it was a much bigger deal than I acknowledged. Does it matter now? It’s in the past and it’s not like there’s anything that can change it. I didn’t know back then, I couldn’t help it. It’s not like it benefits anything to replay every conversation, every argument, everything over and over in my head. But it matters to me. No matter how much you change, you still have to pay the price for the things you’ve done. I… was wrong. I was wrong more times than I knew. I did things I shouldn’t have. I didn’t know then, but I know now. If I hurt you, I’m sorry. I don’t know how to apologize for things that were beyond my control. It seems disingenuous. But I also don’t know how to just accept and forgive myself without apologizing, without saying anything when I did something wrong. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry to everyone I hurt by loving before I was ready. I’m sorry. I’m just so sorry. 

[sparda3g]

Attack on Titan Chapter 114 Review

Most of the characters have been raised so poorly. It’s no wonder their views are corrupted and in some form, dangerous. Zeke is no exception. It was inevitable to learn his backstory, but that time has come. Needless to say, it’s depressing as I expected. However, it’s the presentation and the writing that made the chapter heartfelt and emotional. The ending definitely took a turn that will have fans desperate for answers.

The majority of the chapter is based around the backstory of Zeke. It explains a lot of moments that involved with Grisha, as well as explaining some of the elements in the later years that is actually creepy. There are few interesting notes on its lore. It makes me wish for an encyclopedia by the time the series ends; it’s quite fascinating. Above all, it contains a hardship, painful, and depressing childhood.

Right from the beginning, Grisha influenced Zeke about leaving the cage that is Marley and go pass beyond the wall to see the world outside. It is an opportunity to see life beyond; more importantly, to be free. The sight gives you an impression of a happy family; everyone is smiling altogether. It goes down the drain when the janitor appears and throws water at them. The sad part is he was nice for a brief moment before realizing they’re Eldians. It’s clearly racism. “The world is wrong; it must be changed.” This is Grisha’s character in the nutshell and as a father, he passed down to his son; placing huge weights on his shoulder. From there on, it was the beginning of the downward spiral.

Because of the pressure, Zeke was forced to join the military. The problem is not just being forced, but lack the willpower to strive through. He wasn’t suited for it. Magath shows sympathy; something I can appreciate from a man with concerns. I mentioned this because this is where Grisha the father lacks and it will only grow worse. All he cared about Zeke is whether he will be part of Marley’s military for the sake of the “mission.” Newsflash: your son’s health comes first. It’s irritating enough for him to pressure him, it is worse when he believed his action isn’t bad because he’s doing what’s best for everyone. Zeke will understand one day according to him. Okay…

While Zeke spends his time with his grandparents, because you know, parenthood is about freedom fighting, there’s an interesting note on “The Tragedy of Lago.” It’s an interesting lore information considering the fall of Marley by the hands of the Eldian Empire. The event covers the tragedy of Marley’s city, Lago and lost many lives. It is similar to World War aftermath; there are people that remain detestable towards a race or culture because of history.

His grandfather is heavily concern with Zeke’s well-being. Once again, something Grisha lack of. He was worrying about Zeke being misinformed about history; in other words, being taught differently for bias reason. The later scene does justify it sadly. Zeke falsely claim he wanted to become a warrior for his behalf. It’s painfully clear that Zeke only joined to please his parents; trying to earn something that is missing. The picture shot of Grisha and his sister holds a strong metaphor; a sign that changed a man forever.

By this point, you already got the idea that Zeke has no normal childhood. There is no true normal family foundation. When it comes to father-son bond, there is hardly any. They only connect when the mission is involved. Father of the year, he will never be. He also shows clear biasness when teaching his son. Apparently, Lago’s tragedy is a total farce and Eldians are pure innocent. Whether the story is true or not, there’s no need to glorify one aspect; like how some media glorify a country as the most respectful nation. But that’s fine for Zeke because he can bond with him. That’s just sad.

The downhill continues with his struggle in the military. Part of me want to believe Magath discipline him for the sake of his benefit. He was concerned earlier, so it’s not far-fetched to believe it. Things weren’t looking good for Zeke; that is until he meets Tom Xavier, the guy from the last chapter’s ending. He’s the father figure Zeke truly wished for.

He was the Beast Titan shifter before Zeke. In hindsight, it’s a poetic display of a man passing down the torch like a father to his son. Despite being a shifter, there wasn’t any work for him, so he took the job of a Titan Researcher. In the meantime, he’s playing catch to kill time, or so one would think. It was at this moment where he and Zeke start to bond. It’s also the beginning of true happiness. Zeke’s smile does leave a warm feeling; that’s how bad he had.

Whenever the scene focus on his family, it gradually grows worse and worse. This is when the resistance are pleading Grisha to get things started before it’s too late. He reassures him that Zeke got this taken care of for he will become a warrior; no exception. This put a huge pressure on top of already huge pressure from earlier on Zeke. This is too much for a boy. There’s no any sign of concern on his mental health. The parents keep on pressuring him like their life depends on it. I mean it does, but that’s the problem; it does.

The one line that disturbed me heavily honestly is from Grisha to Zeke. “You are our son.” Why is that disturbing? When you look at his appearance and context behind the reasoning, it’s rather creepy when you reflect the moment back in Shadis’ backstory. Remember how Grisha looks very frightening, hell-bent to go bloody with Eren? He didn’t let Shadis to get into his business, because Eren is “his son.” That was the reflection of his dark cold obsession of the past. If anything, Eren’s mother is what brought balance, but after her death, it’s straight to hell for them. Symbolic or not, it makes eerily sense.

Zeke undoubtedly had it rough. When his parents came to watch his performance, Grisha had a look of disappointment and heartbroken. Sadly, it’s not because of Zeke as his son, but Zeke as a boy with a mission. This is disheartening to see awful parenting. Not a concern for his mental state. At least Tom shows genuine sympathy for him. Easily, he’s far more likeable than the father.

Speaking of likeable, there’s another scene with him and Zeke; more clear evident of a true sincere father-son bonding. Whenever the chapter focus on them, the atmosphere is light, tender, and comforting in compare. Zeke asks him about his reason to become a warrior since his is only drawn by force. It’s like he’s asking for a reason to care about having a purpose. Tom only became a warrior for research purpose as he has grown fascinated with the titan’s history. He expressed with real interest and happiness. Zeke once more has a genuine smile. This was a true family moment. Now, here comes the fall.

Zeke eavesdrop the military and learned the Eldian Restorationists are close to be discovered. It’s only matter of time that he and his family are done for. This actually prove Zeke was telling the truth about his “betrayal” towards his parents. It’s not like Zeke ratted them out because he wanted to be loyal to Marley. I thought this is a good detail since before, it made Zeke seem like a genius that decided to backstab his family. This makes it more realistic. However, the following scene is what left Zeke no choice but to pull a betrayal.

The family dinner is best described as awkward and depressing. The atmosphere and lighting are enough emphasis on the dreary tone. After the poor performance, Grisha has nothing to say, continue to look disappointed. This hurt Zeke badly; he couldn’t hold back his sadness any longer. It’s only going south from here. The parents continue to pressure him more and more until Zeke essentially say his life would be okay to meet the same fate as his Aunt Faye. Ouch. This absolutely triggered Grisha, confirming her death has traumatized him heavily.

Zeke’s final effort to save his family is to beg them to stop their action. They are awestruck by a simple kid’s wish. It’s like they heard their son has murdered someone. There’s no happiness for him. Watching him tear up was heartbreaking. All he wanted was a normal life and it finally broke him that his family can’t give him that wish. I have to admit, I was also moved by Grisha’s last line about his sister. He’s so broken apart. All he wanted was to see a ship and the price cost his life to be shattered. That was painful.

Zeke told Tom about his parents and what they are. This leaves to Tom’s only suggestion, practically give Zeke ultimatum. I really like the fact Tom isn’t there to be evil, let alone hiding anything despite the reveal later on. The fact is Tom truly cared about Zeke and it pains him to come up with a plan. That’s true fatherly love. That all said it was him that suggested Zeke to rat his parents in order to save him and his grandparents. Undoubtedly, it’s a hard decision, but it can lessen the damage.

Zeke was convinced to pull the trigger after Tom gave him hard hitting points about his parents. They never show any real affection towards him; essentially, he was seen as a tool more than a son. The chapter was enough to believe it and so, Zeke rats them out. Now it makes sense why that scene happened. It’s amazing how Isayama ties it in gently. Tom has a genuine heartfelt reaction to Zeke’s decision; easing his pain from losing his parents. This was touching.

There’s a very interesting new lore detail. After a time-skip, Tom has learned a couple of new info on the Descendants of Ymir and their connection to the Founding Titan. Zeke thought it was based on manipulating memories, but instead, it’s about change the composition of the bodies. Based on Tom’s research, 600 years ago, there was an epidemic where people died and the population plummeted hard. It was only until the holder of Founding Titan put a stop to the plague. It’s all done by simply rewriting the composition of the Descendants that was favorable to the situation.

This is quite interesting. This would explain how people shift to titan, like change the body out of thin air. It’s not like zombies, where the body decompose; titan literally gives them a body of a, well, titan. It makes sense when you look back. Also, it’s interesting yet eerie how the Descendants are practically part of Founding Titan’s flesh, metaphorically speaking, since the holder can alter through them as well. It sounds to me this revelation will play a role in the current timeline; however Eren utilizes it. We know Zeke’s answer and it is rather disturbing.

Because of this knowledge, he thought it will be really wise to change to make sure they cannot bear a child. Well, that got awkward really fast. His idea of peace is to wait for their extinction. If they can’t bear a child, the race will eventually die without the next generation. Once they’re gone, it’s the end of suffering. Hell, he even said his birth was a mistake. If he wasn’t born, life will be better. That’s pretty twisted. This is your creation, Grisha.

Tom may be innocent, but it doesn’t mean his past is all sunshine. No, he doesn’t reveal to be evil, rather his status is seen as one. The true reveal is actually heartbreaking because not only he didn’t deserve it but it fits in the theme of the chapter, let alone the backstory. He’s actually an Eldian. He had a family, but once his wife learned about his heritage, she committed suicide as well as taking their child’s life. It’s Shounen, Isayama! Give me a friendship speech!

Thanks to his innocence, which is a miracle in this world, I felt really bad for his loss. There’s also a deep yet disturbing imagery of him grabbing the baseball from the ground where his family’s bodies lie. That’s torture. He revealed it because his first intention to become a warrior was to have a slow path to his death. He literally did nothing wrong, but his race is what killed it. Could you imagine if Isayama uses non-fictional race? Controversial galore. I can see why he was awestruck by Zeke’s word. They connect in many ways and sadly, suffering is one of them. All those baseball catching make me realized why Zeke as Beast Titan does nothing but tossing. It’s like a tribute to him. The details Isayama does is astonishing.

Zeke’s end goal is revealed and as you can guess it earlier, it’s pretty insane. He has obtained the Beast Titan already, so now he needs to bring forth the Founding Titan. Once that’s cleared, he can begin the execution to Eldians, wiping out from existence. He believes this is saving them. Holy crap. Now this begs the question: is Eren aware of his intention? Surely, this is not what Eren has in mind. After this chapter, it’s abundantly clear Zeke is a foil character. He wants to end them, Eren wants to save them. He despise the world he’s born in, Eren is free because he’s born here. Amazing how much their worlds contrast.

The chapter shifts back to the present and after the flashback, I now know how twisted his view truly is. Before, I didn’t understand his method outside of trying to save Eldians. Now, I find him to be dangerous and frightening, even when he’s all tied up. The weight of his words has increased a lot. Now his words make sense back in the last chapter. He meant it what he said about cherishing Levi’s comrades’ life. He was drawing close to reach his goal, but Levi keeps ruining it. Then the chapter ends on a hell of a cliffhanger.

Zeke is capable to go batshit insane, and that’s why he decided to go all out by triggering the spear. His roar cry was enough to show his insanity. Levi looked certain that Zeke wouldn’t dare to explode, but hey, shit happens. One final glance at them, somewhat discouraging, and then boom, explosion. That certainly threw me off. If only Levi squeeze in a line, “You are terminated.” Did they die? I don’t think so, but I got a bad feeling Levi may be badly wounded. He may end up handicapped. As for Zeke, his body split apart, but I don’t think he’s dead. It all depends on how fast he can regenerate. Talk about suspenseful ending.

I thought this was a really well-written chapter with really good emotional moments. Whether you feel bad for Zeke or not, you can understand his motive, struggle, and corruption. The presentation is stellar. It has great images of metaphors, symbolisms, and raw emotions from characters. The impact hit me badly; hard to imagine a child slowly raised to a corrupted person. It dive in well enough to understand the depth of his character. Lastly, the cliffhanger left me gasping for air. I don’t know where this is heading to, but it’s getting more and more interesting. The fate of those two is in pending…

[katemcgarry]

Pre-Production

Location Recce: When I was writing the script, I always had Cromand Beach in mind. One of the criticisms of my script was that it had more than one location, the path and beach. However, The promenade at Cromand is extensive; one side is tarmacked walkway and the other looks like a woodland path. Therefore, in the script, it seems like two locations but in actual the plan when writing was to film at one and make it seem like two.

During pre-production, I went and did a location recce at Cromand Beach. I wanted to figure out which part of the promenade to use and to get location pictures.

Working with the cast: As a group, we decided not to have a rehearsal; I think due to COVID, we wanted to be as careful as possible and limit our contact with cast and crew as much as possible. In hindsight believe this might have been a mistake. However, before the shoot, we all a zoom call with Hannah (our actress), to introduce ourselves, talk her through the shoot and answer any question she might have had. The meeting went well, and it was nice to meet Hannah for the first time finally.

I knew that because we didn't have a rehearsal period that as the director, I wanted to sit down with Hannah personally and talk throughout the character will her. So I jumped on a zoom call with her and had a discussion. I had created a mood board for the character, which I shared with Hannah and discussed in detail the background of the character.

 Also, we talked about Hannah's process and what I could do to benefit her performance. From this discussion, Hannah remarked that on set if I were to read the script out loud would be helpful when on location. I think having this discussion helped; I was feeling a little uneasy about the shoot having never directed before but having this meeting reassured me slightly.

We shot on the 16th of November, and due to our later shoot date, we took the week before to focus finalising pre-production and getting the voiceover done. On Friday the 13th I jumped on a zoom call with Hedi (our actress for the voiceover) and recorded with her. Earlier that week Coleen had dropped a zoom recorder off Hedi's house so we could capture good quality audio. In her audition tape, Hedi performed the voiceover quite exaggerated, and I knew that I wanted to a more subtle and measured performance. The exaggeration in Hedi's performance was stemming from the anger she was injecting into the words. The exaggeration in Hedi's performance was stemming from the anger she was injecting into the words. Therefore, I explained that there was a distance between the emotions the older and younger Alex felt, the anger young Alex feels is not the same as anger older Alex feels. The older Alex is reflecting on a tumultuous time in her adolescence, but she has grown older and wiser, and those feeling of anger have mellowed.  Furthermore, I describe the relationship between the two selves less as one person, but as if the older Alex was mother figure trying to calm down their distressed daughter, therefore the voiceover was needed to be comforting and reassuring. It took quite a bit of work, but I think we made some vast improvements to her performance. During the recording, I felt Hedi didn't take direction very well. I don't think she agreed with the way I was trying to direct her, we would do a semi-decent take and when we went to another Hedi would revert to how she performed the voiceover in the first instance. However, in the end, I think we got a more subdued performance from her, which I believe is what the piece needed. It was a challenge, but it taught me how to try and communicate my ideas to an actor.

Recce with Cinematographer:

Before the shoot, myself and Coleen took a trip to Cromand Beach to run through the action and Coleen finalised her shot list. I think this trip was beneficial for Coleen; she had never been to Cromand before, so I think to see the location in the flesh helped her visualise her shots better. We walked through the action and decided which part of the promenade to use, and we discussed in length about the 180-degree rule as Coleen was worried about crossing it, but we figured it out.

Props: I discussed with Hannah her costume; I knew that I wanted something straightforward. In the script, I knew that Alex had just left the house in anger after fighting with her dad; therefore, she would be wearing something casual. We discussed wearing jeans, a jumper and boots. Hannah sent me several pictures of the choices she had. The first one I thought was way too black and in the call she mentioned she had colour jumpers, so I asked if I could see the outfit with one of those. I the end we ended up this costume which I was happy with.

In the script, Alex throws her phone on the ground. I knew that for this action to feel authentic, the actor needed an actual phone to throw. Therefore, I took to the fantastic Facebook page 'Medow Share' asking if anyone had any broken iPhones, they would be willing to give up. Several kind people replied, and I went and picked them up, which is a good thing because by the end of filming the phones look like this 😅...

[unluckybug]

Fluffy Bugs and Spotted Cats

AO3

FF.NET

Chapter 1

Summery: 

Adrien Agreste was the luckiest kid in all of Paris.

As member of of the prestigious Agreste family, blessed with his good looks, holding a promising career in modeling, having all the money he could ever need and the heart of every teenage girl in Paris, Adrien Agreste was the symbol of perfection. But of course, that's only if you asked someone else.

If you asked Adrien Agreste himself, he probably wouldn't tell you that he's actually the unluckiest kid in all of Paris. He doesn't want to tell you, that with his late mother, absent father, and lack of any true friends and connections to speak of; that he's always wished for a bit more luck in his own life.

In hindsight, Adrien probably should have never opened the little box. Of course, it looked safe, and he did think it was a gift from his father, but the strange markings should have been a huge red flag.

The small floating creature that also came from the strange box should have also been a really big, really red, red flag.

"Tikki, you're nice and all, but in all honesty, this is the worst idea I've ever had. I think you're a bad influence." he sighed.

Tikki giggled, "Adrien, being Paris's hero does not always come for free. Just think of the end goal, you will get to be a hero!"

In response, Adrien groaned. This day was by far the weirdest of his life. First he's visited by a small genie, that indeed does not inhabit a lamp but a pair of small earrings (Aladdin did not prepare him enough for this). Then, she tells him that he can be a superhero, and gives him the whole run down of how it works, but all he can think of is how he's going to be a magical girl from Sailor Moon.

The real red flag though should have been the earrings. The earrings for god's sake. How was the unluckiest boy in Paris, granted the lucky miracle earrings? Bad luck, that's how.

Which brings us back to the current situation of his now bleeding ears.

Father's going to kill me, is his only thought.

"Look Adrien, it's stopped bleeding. You should be alright, so long as it doesn't get infected." she said, hovering around his ears. "That being said, I don't think I've ever had a wielder that doesn't already have her ears pierced... You were probably chosen for your kind personality!" Tikki smiled as she bobbled in the air.

Adrien loved Tikki's happy-go-lucky personality. Even though he'd only known the small red and black kwami for a solid half hour, he'd felt as though she was the most honest being he'd ever spoken to. But her last comment had struck a chord in him, and made him feel a bit uneasy about the current situation.

He shot her a quizzical look, "So, you didn't choose me, Tikki?"

"No, the wielders of the Miraculous are chosen by the Guardian. He releases the Miraculous when the world is in danger, and if the user is compatible with the Miraculous, than the kwami will appear. If not, then they are just a useless piece of costume jewelry, I suppose."

The room was silent for a moment, before the television cut back in.

"-Stoneheart is heading towards the Montparnasse tower. The monster seems to be unstoppable." He hadn't even realized it was still on.

"Well Tikki, I guess that's our cue." he smirked at the small kawami.

Realization dawned on Tikki's face, and her eyes widened as she tore her eyes from the TV and swiveled back around towards him, "No! Wait! I haven't finished explaining!"

"Spots On!"

Marinette Dupain-Cheng was the unluckiest girl in all of Paris.

She was clumsy, came from a family of low status, had confidence issues, and always seemed to get stuck in the same class as Chloe Bourgeois year after year. But of course, that was only if you asked the mayor's daughter herself.

If you asked Marinette, she would probably tell you that she was the luckiest girl in all of Paris. With her loving family, eccentric best friend, and a hopeful career in fashion, Marinette really had it all.

That is, until some form of higher power decided she just had too much.

Marinette didn't really know why the universe gave her an indifferent talking cat, all she knew was that it could fly, and that it also kind of resembled a small kitten. So, she did the only logical thing she could think of and threw the first thing her hand could reach at it.

"Ahh! What on earth are you! A floating cat? A really large bug?!"

The cat seemed very unimpressed by her actions, and merely dodged the onslaught.

"Look, I'm a kwami. And I've already told you...I grant powers. Yours is the power of destruction. Got it?"

Marinette refused to answer as she continued to inch her way closer to a glass cup that sat atop her desk. Now it was talking? She was still pretty unsure and freaked out about the universe and it's kwami prophet, but she decided to give it the benefit of the doubt since he didn't seem to want anything from her.

Suddenly, in a flurry of motion, she made a grab for the glass and brought it down on the catbug (kwami?) creature that was now moving about her room. With the cat now successfully pinned, she was able to get a good, up close look at him.

"Now, got anything to eat? I'm starving…" the kwami said, voice muffled by the glass separating the two.

"Umm.. we have a few things down in the bakery, I guess." She looked at him, head cocked to the side, unsure of what to call the small kwami.

"Names Plagg. And I can't be seen downstairs by anyone. You can't tell people about me." he looked at her, eyes narrowed, challenging. There was nothing Marinette loved more than a challenge (hence, Bourgeois). The demon continued to talk, and now that the spawn of satan himself was contained, she felt more inclined to listen. She sat for a moment, blue eyes gazing into his green, and the reality of the situation soon dawned on her.

"This has to be some kind of mistake. I'm not really cut out to be any kind of superhero. I'm far too clumsy to save people, let alone wield the power of destruction!" She paused. "I know! You should ask my friend Alya, she loves this kind of stuff, and she's a lot more responsible than I... am, and probably wouldn't trip up the stairs..." She trailed off, as she realized Plagg had somehow escaped the glass prison and wasn't listening to her and was instead rummaging through her things.

The kwami must have been actually listening, because he turned around and faced her, and seemed to debate with himself for a moment. "Look kid, you gotta trust me. You're not gonna be alone in this, you'll have Ladybug. She's the one that does all the heavy lifting, you just gotta help her out. But the important thing that you need to know is that she can't do this without you. If not you for this Miraculous, than no one."

That seemed to be a bit more than Plagg was willing to say, as he turned around broodily and continued searching through her things.

Every now and then, Plagg would feed her little tidbits of information and seemed to purposely leave out as many details as possible as he rounded about her room (what was he searching for?) about the ring that lay in the box.

"And you have to say Cataclysm."

"Cataclysm?"

"Yeah that's what I said. This ability can…."

Marinette continued to sit on the floor, unmoving as she continued to look at the ring, thinking. Despite what Plagg was telling her, this superhero business seemed like too much to process way too fast. Ivan, a member of her class, was currently a villain against his will. Now Ivan was rampaging through the streets of Paris and she was supposed to stop him? And with what? Cataclysm? A ring? Marinette didn't trust herself enough to walk down two steps in her house to get down to the kitchen, let alone wield the power to destroy anything she touched.

"Ladybug is your partner. She has the power of luck and the power to-"

"Ladybug?"

"Yeah, kid. Are you even listening? Geez…"

"Well, if Ladybug has the power of luck, why do I have the power of bad luck? How is having bad luck supposed to help anyone in a battle, besides getting them killed?" She asked, looking up, surprised to see Plagg hovering near her face.

She was also surprised when she saw Plagg's expression immediately become unreadable at the mention of her comment.

"That's just the thing, kid. Have you ever heard the saying, too much of a good thing is a bad thing? It's like that. The power of bad luck just may get you killed someday, if you're not careful." He paused for a moment, wrapping his arms around his small body as if to distance himself from the situation. "But you're smart, and I think you should be okay." Plagg finished. Marinette held the cat's gaze for a bit longer, and in his sea green eyes, she could see his inner turmoil; ageless wisdom and knowledge catching her by surprise.

Plagg tore his gaze away and replaced his expression once more with one of indifference.

Back to business, she thought idly.

She looked back down at the ring, that now lay upon her right ring finger. Marinette briefly heard the kwami roll back into his summary of how to properly use the Miraculous in the background, but now she was too distracted to listen. She felt haunted by Plagg's grimm words of advice, for this new power she was bestowed. She didn't feel afraid of the power anymore, but worried. Worried for Plagg, and her family, and the mysterious Ladybug she was supposed to be partnered to.

"-and all you have to say is- claws out."

She looked up from her speculation. "Claws… Out?"

The first action Adrien took as a superhero was checking himself out in the mirror. When he gazed into the reflective pane, he saw a boy, with a stupid grin illuminating his face. But the person in the mirror dressed in a red and black skintight suit soon became the least of his concerns, as a sudden electric energy filled his body. He was suddenly overcome with the pressing desire to run and jump. So that's exactly what he did- straight out the open window.

The second action Adrien took as a ladybug themed superhero was realizing that even though he was a ladybug, he honestly couldn't fly.

The free fall lasted mere moments as he lived only on the second story, and by the time he had remembered to use the magical yo-yo Tikki had told him about, he hit the ground. Well, that could have gone worse He stood once the pain dissipated and realized that he was okay. Adrien still felt the surging energy that he felt earlier, despite the two story fall that would usually cause a few broken bones. Perhaps Tikki was a magical genie after all.

Note to self: never do that again

Soon he was back on his feet and soaring above rooftops, kissing the sky and speeding through the city. After the falling fiasco he figured he should rely more on his magical counterpart, and he soon felt his muscles moving on their own accord as if he had done this a thousand times. He let out a shrill laugh. The air whipped violently past him as he cut through it like a sword- not bending to the will of the wind but to his own. The freeing sensation burst from his core as he felt completely elated.

Nothing could stop him…

Well, until something actually did stop him.

Something black and fast rammed into him from above, forcing his forward inertia to send him spiraling back to the ground. Again.

He briefly heard a scream, but he was too busy falling to decipher if it was his own or the black ball of destruction or both.

To top it off, the black projectile also decided to land on him. In this moment, all Adrien could think of was that his bad luck had somehow broken his lucky Miraculous, and now the world's wrath had been unleashed upon him.

He heard a groan above him. He cracked his eyes open, and looked up to see blue sky. He probably had a double concussion now, and his swirling eye sight focused in on the strangly luminescent sky that stared back. Eyes, he thought. At a loss for words, Adrien lay there completely speechless as he stared into the newcomer's eyes.

A few awkward moments passed, and then the girl hastily pushed herself up off the ground and back up onto her feet. Her sky blue eyes seemed to glow as they darted around the street, steadily avoiding his own. The girl took on a nervous posture, as if she herself could also not believe these odds. He watched as a hand went to push a stray curl out of her eyes, as she seemed to give up avoiding his gaze to finally meet his own.

Her dark blue hair was all pushed to one side in a wild and unruly fashion. The wavy locks had framed her face and a few rebellious strands fell into her face. Her pale skin was contrasted by black leather and…. Was that a catsuit?

Tentatively, a clawed hand was offered to him, and he stood.

"Ahh.. umm.. I-I'm so sorry, err… I wasn't really paying attention…" she said as she shrank under his gaze. The cat ears that adorned her head pinned back and her tail swished back and forth anxiously.

This was the partner that Tikki informed him of. That much was obvious. He didn't want to make her nervous, especially if they were going to work together.

Quick, say something smooth

Without thinking, he leaned forward, "Don't worry kitty, I think we're both just winging it."

The awkwardness immediately dissipated from her face, as she deadpanned. "Was that supposed to be a bug pun?"

He ignored her remark as he continued on, "I'm…. hmm. Well, I didn't think this through. I'm Ladybug. Nice of you to drop in."

She started laughing, and he was proud of his impressive pun. But his mood quickly dampered as he realized the true source of the amusement.

"You're Ladybug? Lady-bug? I'm sorry my lady, but you're not a lady…."

Despite his mild annoyance and embarrassment, be was drawn back to her glowing eyes, full of mirth.

He couldn't help but smile as she twirled her tail, her earlier nervousness completely gone. "Ladybug, huh? Hmmmm…. Chat Noir, at your service, my lady." She dramatized with a bow.

Adrien shot her a glare, aghast. He should have known it would come to this. "I resent that. Anyways, Paris isn't going to save itself, Sir Bigglesworth. Let's go."

Before he could do something to make her nervous again, he swung away toward the sounds of destruction. He spared a short glance behind him to make sure Chat Noir would follow. He saw the cat themed superheroine making her way behind him awkwardly via extendable baton.

He quickly sourced the villain to be in the parisian stadium a few blocks away from the school. Without hesitation, he swung straight into the battleground, and hooked the yo-yo wire around Stoneheart's fist, seconds before it could be brought down on a nearby civilian.

He retracted the weapon as soon as he had the rocky monster's attention. "Man, you really need to work on that rocky attitude of yours. You need to calm down, you're starting to look like schist." he smirked.

"Shut up, or I'll crush you like a little bug." the villain replied, finding no humor in Adrien's remarks.

A purple butterfly-esque mask appeared on the adversary's face.

Strange, he thought. He took the villain's distracted moment to desperately search for his less lucky partner, to find only a lone civilian recording the fight.

Really? At a time like this.

The mask quickly dissipated, and Stoneheart was back in control. Stoneheart reached for the futbol goal behind him, and chucked it at the new offender. Ladybug took up a defensive stance and stealthily dodged.

"Heh, missed m-" he cut off, as he remembered the innocent girl who was recording behind him. Time felt like it slowed down as he released the yo-yo and hooked it onto the goal, giving the cord a mighty yank. The tumbling post stopped in its tracks and clattered to the ground, and Adrien's arm ached from the sudden strain.

He turned back around to the stoney monster, only to find a rocky fist as big as himself clenched around his midsection. He looked around desperately for an escape, but with his hands pinned to his sides he was without his primary weapon.

Not like it would help anyway. His arm felt good as broken.

"What are you waiting for super black cat?! The world is watching you!"

The source of the voice came from the girl who literally almost got crushed (why won't she just get out of here?). He followed her gaze to the top of the stadium where he found his cat-partner looking extremely indecisive and nervous once again. He desperately wanted to yell at her to come save him because Stoneheart's grip on him seemed to be getting tighter and tighter by the moment, but he knew that anything he said would just make her even more nervous than she already was.

As she hesitantly assessed the situation, their eyes found each other. He guessed she saw the blatant desperation in his eyes, or maybe it was the small pained smile he gave her, but soon her face morphed into determination and the resolve hardened in her eyes as she lept into action.

She was so fast his eyes could hardly track her. She flew underneath Stoneheart and used her baton as a lever to knock him off balance and eventually release Ladybug. He regrouped with her on the other side of the field.

"Er.. Sorry it took so long for me to get here." She looked at him apologetically.

He gave her a reassuring smile, "It's alright Kitty, let's just take care of this guy."

He took up a stance to leap away, but was quickly stopped by Chat Noir. Adrien looked at the gloved hand encased around his forearm, and then at the girl. He looked back to her eyes and saw a different person from the one that had met him in a head on collision earlier. He quickly decided, that he liked this new, more confident version of Chat Noir much better.

"I think it's time we use our special abilities, 'bug."she said, steadily.

"Oh, thats right. I forgot." he chuckled. Grabbing his yo-yo, he threw it up in the air as Tikki had instructed earlier.

With a quick Lucky Charm, he was given a…. Wetsuit? Was this some kind of joke?

He looked at Chat and laughed, handing it to her. "Here you go kitty, I heard cats don't like to get wet."

The cat carefully took the suit, and he could see the gears turning in her head. She looked back to him, a crafty smirk adorning her face.

Adrien Agreste was suddenly overcome with the powerful sensation that he was completely fucked.

"I have an idea, but you're not going to like it." was all she said. Why was he ever worried about her not warming up to him.

I'm so screwed.

Without asking for his consent, or even giving him the slightest warning, Chat Noir swiftly picked his small bug self up and through him at Stoneheart. Wasn't Ladybug supposed to be the non sacrificial goat? He gave his black-clad traitor partner a murderous glance as he was once again in the hands of Stoneheart.

"One down and one to go, cat!" Stoneheart yelled. Since Stoneheart's hand was currently occupied by Ladybug, Stoneheart uncurled his right hand as he went to grab the other futbol goal and throw it at Chat. From Stoneheart's left hand, dropped a smaller, rounded rock.

The akuma, he thought.

He looked up, and saw the goal, hurling towards Chat. Suddenly, panic overwhelmed his senses. "Chat! Look out!" He yelled helplessly. He squirmed in Stoneheart's grip, desperate to get away and do something.

Chat didn't even move a muscle. Ladybug watched in horror, as the solid bar on the goal continued to twist dangerously towards the girl, and that girl stood her ground.

"CHAT! MOVE!" he screamed horsely, but it seemed like his voice fell on deaf ears. She wasn't even looking at him, her eyes were steadily trained on the incoming flying mess. Was she afraid? Could she not move because she felt overwhelmed?

Just before the projectile could meet its target, the entire object disintegrated before his eyes. Chat stood amidst the flying debris and dust, completely unharmed. I guess that's her power?, he thought. He was deftly torn between crying in relief and punching someone.

"Why…. don't you just keep getting boulder? Alya! Hit the tap!" Chat Noir said over her shoulder, to the civilian who was still here (jesus christ).

It took Adrien a moment to realize that the wetsuit was also here with him in Stoneheart's mighty fist. He didn't have time to ponder about how he didn't notice the suit right next to him, because in the next moment, water exploded all around him.

Yeah, maybe he was free now, but that still made no part of this situation okay. Even if Chat's plan was completely brilliant, no amount of oscar-worthy five second devised plan could make him feel any bit better as he was drowned in a sea of raging water.

Now that he was on the ground, he made haste of breaking the akumatized object and releasing the butterfly. Both heros stood side by side as they watched the black butterfly flutter off into the distance.

Ladybug turned and looked at his partner. "Chat, please. Don't ever do that again."

Chat Noir turned to look curiously up at her partner, "Do what?"

"The cataclysm. You threw me. We're supposed to be a team and you just… When you didn't move, and I couldn't even… I…" Adrien trailed off, unsure of how to fully express how worried he was for her. And all around useless. So many thoughts about what had just happened were flashing through his head, and he was having trouble still putting them together. So, he decided to just give up on what he was saying.

"Kitty, just promise me you'll never do that again."

Chat stared at him for a moment, taking in what he said, face full of wonder. Her mouth opened and closed a few times, unsure what to say, "Ladybug, I-"

"Hey! Are you two going to be Paris's new superheros? Are you a manbug? How did you both get your powers? Were you bitten by a rabid cat? Radioactive ladybug? Oh, this is so unreal! I have so many questions to ask you… mr...mrs…?" Alya trailed off, phone camera held up expectantly at the duo.

Adrien stepped forward, with a model smile and a friendly wave, "Ladybug, and this is my partner, Chat Noir. We'll be protecting Paris from now on."

As the two Miraculouses beat in warning, the pair shared a nod and headed off in opposite directions.

"Kid, you worry too much. Now, pass me that cheese."

"Plagg, you're no help at all." Marinette said to the cat kwami as she lay atop her loft bed, staring at the ceiling.

"See, this is why I like cheese so much. Cheese doesn't cause any drama. It listens to you when you talk, and it always has the best comfort food when you're sad. The perfect middle man." He said, shoving the entire cheese wedge into his mouth. While the miraculous ring was truly a magical item to be marvelled, the real miracle was Plagg's digestive system, and how he fit food twice his size into his mouth.

Marinette ignored Plagg as he landed on her stomach and proceeded to stretch out like a cat and fall asleep. "You don't understand Plagg, I really messed up today. I mean, just when I started acting normal around Ladybug, I went and screwed up. Again." She let out a long sigh, upset she couldn't move now with him on top of her. "Now he's upset with me, and now our dynamics going to be messed up- all because of me. He'll never trust me again."

She was answered with silence. Plagg was probably tired with all of her ranting.

Out of the corner of her eye, she caught the glare of the ring upon her finger. She lifted her hand up to get a better look at it, holding the appendage above her head. She looked at the blank plane of the silver ring, and she felt it looking back at her. This object, why was it given to her? By whom? Marinette was never really a firm believer in god, but she did believe in fate and destiny. Was she truly destined to receive this object? Perhaps some kind of cosmic fluke had made a mistake. Plagg had said she was the only one who could wield this power. That she needed it to save Paris, and to help Ladybug.

But to help Ladybug- she never really felt like she was of any help to the Lucky hero. Today, maybe she did come up with the plan to retrieve the akuma, but she also made Ladybug upset. It was Ladybug's Lucky Charm that had saved them both, and it was Marinette's Cataclysm that had caused him so much grief.

"We're supposed to be a team"

Ladybug's parting words echoed throughout her head. No part of her plan involved herself working with the spotted hero directly. In fact, Marinette used Ladybug.

Oh god, she used her partner? What must he think of her? He probably hated her, and at the very least, he probably didn't want to work with her anymore.

What a mess.

Marinette sighed and rolled over- waking up Plagg.

"Hey," he yawned, "I'm hungry. Can we get something to eat?"

Far too exhausted with herself to mention that he ate exactly 2 minutes ago, she stood and made the long trek down to the kitchen, where her parents sat, watching the television. She made to open the fridge, only to be cut off by the sound of the news reporter on the TV.

"-just as Paris is about to celebrate the appearance of our two new superheroes, Ladybug and Chat Noir, a new wave of panic is sweeping across the capital, as dozens of people are mysteriously transformed into stone monsters!"

Marinette's eyes widened that the news, sharing a brief look with Plagg before grabbing a new round of cheese and rushing back up to her room.

She hastily closed the trapdoor, "Why are people still turning back into akumas? I thought we got rid of Stoneheart!" She looked at Plagg, fuming.

"Did Ladybug purify the akuma?"

"Er- no… He only released it by breaking the inhabited object?"

Plagg sighed, and looked at her, thoughtfully. "Only Ladybug can capture and purify the akuma. If the akuma is not captured after its release, it can return to Hawkmoth and multiply."

"Okay, but what does that have to do with the new stone beings?"

"If Ivan experiences negative emotions again, he can turn back into Stoneheart, and he will be able to control all the other Stone beings."

Marinette sat on her desk chair, spinning it around slowly in thought. This whole situation was her fault. Again. If she hadn't-

"C'mon kid. We've been over this. It wasn't even your fault this time-."

"Plagg! I was the reason Ladybug forgot though. If I hadn't…. If I…." tears began to well up in Marinette's eyes, as she trailed off.

She felt so weak. Useless. She wasn't good enough to be Ladybug's partner, she wasn't strong enough to be Paris's savior. If she had worked with Ladybug, they wouldn't even be in this situation. She wasn't strong enough to be anyone's hero, because there was nothing special about her.

She was sobbing. Marinette could feel the tears flowing down her face, and her vision blur. She didn't even attempt to wipe them away. Paris doesn't need a hero that bawls her eyes out. Because if she hadn't done what she did… if she hadn't…

"Plagg… I told you, I'm just not cut out to be Chat Noir." she sniffed.

"Wait, Marinette…"

But she was met with a deafening silence.

[nickgerlich]

Color My World

Sales of consumer goods go through peaks and valleys, reflecting either seasonality or whether an item is on-trend or off-trend. The seasonality of most items is generally predictable, especially with the benefit of hindsight. Some items have steady demand year-round, and new items with no history can rapidly find their place on shelves and display a regular demand in little time.

Forecasting a trend, though, is a little harder, because it depends on the whims and fancies of the buying public, what sticks and what doesn’t. Often those are completely unexplainable even long after the fact. Fashion can be funny like that. I’m looking at those parachute pants in your closet.

Naturally, there are also random spikes caused by external factors, like the inevitable rush on milk, bread, and eggs once the word “snow” has entered the weather forecast. But what if the random external factor is one that just won’t let go, the likes of which only a handful of extremely old people among us has ever witnessed in their lives?

I’m talking about the current pandemic, of course, and we are all now helping write future text books with our current buying behavior. We are now in Week 5 of the COVID-19 era, and in completely uncharted territory. The previous four weeks have witnessed a wide variety of panic buying, from hand sanitizers and disinfectants to toilet paper, followed by baking goods and even spiral hams.

Where it goes from here is anyone’s guess. But for the moment, a Walmart executive says we are now in the hair coloring phase. People are starting to look a little shaggy, and for some, their roots are beginning to show.

While I really don’t have a whole lot of hair left to color, I get it. Women primarily are the panic buyers here. In fact, memes started circulating a few weeks ago about how by early April most of the blondes will have been outed.

Men, too, are buying grooming items, but mostly trimmers. As for me, I was actually a little bit ahead of the curve. I bought my electric hair trimmer 13 days ago on a shopping run, and set my daughters to work shearing my #covidhair. They did a pretty decent job for their first time, but then again, since I can get away with wearing a cap in this new life, I’m not too worried about one ear being a little higher than the other.

OK, not really, but my hair on the sides is a tad uneven, and I suspect a lot of guys are suffering the same fate.

Like many men I know, I have not shaved in weeks. Well, not with a blade and shaving cream, mind you. I have opted instead to use my electric stubble razor every two or three days to keep the whiskers in check, yet still yield a nice coarse finish rivaled only by 40-grit sand paper. It’s my COVID look. Why am I doing it? Because. I. Can.

As for the women (and maybe some men, I suppose) in need of a quick touch-up, they’re on their own, since salons are closed. Unless you have a close family member who can do it for you, coloring your hair today is as much a home improvement project as painting the kitchen. It’s just that the kitchen can probably wait. I also know better than to tell a woman her hair looks OK when, in her mind, it doesn’t.

So be supportive, guys. Thankfully, we can still buy these products from any grocery that also has a personal care products department, from hair coloring to trimmers and razors. Make the best of it, everyone, and look your best, even if only for each other.

And what happens in Week 6 is completely up in the air right now. All I know is that when the restrictions are lifted, the line at the salons is going to be longer than anything we saw in the toilet paper aisle.

We all gonna be in serious need of having our hair fixed. I mean, unless accidentally asymmetric haircuts and botched dye jobs become fashionable, in which case all bets are off.

Dr “Hair Of The Dog“ Gerlich

Audio Blog

[theuntitledbin]

Filmmaking In Review. Film 1: “The Chase”.

Hello there! The following post will be the first reflection/review on the films we are making from the perspective of me (J.H), this week we are looking at “The Chase”!  This week, I (J.H) directed our first film.

Watch the film here!

Last week we completed our first film as a group, it was a very unique experience! The way that our filmmaking module is set out means that we are given a brief on Fridays and then we have to then do pre-production over the weekend. This culminates in a shoot on Monday morning for two hours, then editing on another day in the week.

In the brief itself, I and the rest of our team decided to hybridize two of the topics we were allowed to cover, “Pickpocket” and “The Chase”. I was trepidatious as we were forbidden from using spoken dialogue, so as I was also tapped to write the script this proved to be a challenge. I wasn’t sure how I would convey the story, of course, it would have to be very reliant on the visual style, so in my script, I leaned into that.

Take a look! we only needed a two-minute duration, so the script is quite small (too small), only one page. It was weird for me to write a script that lacked dialogue, but I think I did well painting a picture of what I wanted to achieve with the film’s story. I did this using a description of body movement and emotions as with no dialogue this is what is required to communicate the story.

With the benefit of hindsight, I think that I would of like to write more comedic beats into the chase and lean into the comedic scenarios that we ended up creating during filming. Not only would this of given more context to the comedic beats we improved, thus making them better, but would of give us a longer duration, as we didn’t end get a length of 2 minutes, but 1:30.

Our cinematographer (E.Y) did an excellent job of converting the script into a very promising and visually interesting shot-list. The planned out sequences were paced well and fit the story perfectly. It was very close to being executed perfectly, sadly due to unforeseen circumstances, this wasn’t the case.

Next onto the shoot day itself, a mixed bag. Over the weekend I secured an actor and agreed to act and direct, but the actor I acquired was unavailable on the day due to some last-minute unforeseen circumstance.

In the end, our producer (C.H) had to step in, this was unfortunate as he possesses a pre-existing leg injury that would make a chase potentially very difficult to film. But he did persevere and we would not have been able to complete the film without him, so I am very thankful for the self-sacrifice.

On the day we worked like clockwork, getting all of our shots beat by beat very quickly. But this wore on our producer, this leads us to change shots to be slower and less intense than originally planned. If I were to go back I would have shot more coverage, we needed more footage to extend our duration in a visually interesting way.

We had to work around and negotiate shooting space with other students, this leads to a very rushed scramble for the last shots we needed. I think that we definitely could have slowed down a tad to take more time with getting our shots, but I am still happy with what we got.

The editing process was a challenge, but it was one that our editor, (E.Y) took and did a fantastic job with what he had. Both I and (C.H) were present to also help.

We did not have many shots so creating a solid timeline in Avid was not an issue, what was is getting the whip pan transitions we wanted and creating a good flow for our chase. The flow was an issue, this is because of the previously mentioned injury problem.

First the whip pans, we were inspired by the film “Hot Fuzz” and its usage of them. “Hot Fuzz” used them to great effect to increase the tempo and interestingly add visual dynamism. We sought to emulate after much trial and error (E.Y) nailed this feel for the edit. I only wish we added more to keep the flow going.

Our film was initially just meant to be fast and high tempo with the whip pans and quick cuts. With our injured actor that meant that we had to slow down, this lead to a comedic sequence being added. The sequence being the chaser, slowly walking after the chased. instead of having this solidly we cut back and forth to contrast in a comedic manner. I wish I thought of this in the initial scripting phase. I would have written more comedic beats, it has the potential to keep the audience engaged to see what happens next, instead of straight running.

The final product is something I ultimately think has potential if expanded on, but it’s a bit of a mixed bag.

Storywise I think we conveyed the story well. I think that the twist at the end of the film was set up decently with the girl appearing in the first couple of shots and brushing past and disappearing. With hindsight, however, I would have shot a more distressed sequence for the man realizing his phone was taken.

The editing was really good, the whip pans worked as intended, everything flowed as well as it could. I only wish that we had filmed more material that could be edited together in an equally flashy manner. I also think that the sound design left a lot to be desired, music would be something that I think I should have added.

Lastly, the cinematography was very well done, shots were framed nicely and looked really good. Credit to our cinematographer for coming up with these shots. I only wish that we would have been able to shoot in a space with consistent lighting, we were not able to fix all lighting issues in the editing phase.

Overall the film was a decent start, not incredible, but not bad by any stretch. Our team worked well together and our work showed that we can make something really cool in future weeks.