#it's currently spring break
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I don't want to brag but I've gone from 10 words to 416 and after the past year of a drought I want to express that I am proud of myself. I will get these last two chapters out. I will do it.
#Lily#fanfiction#bsd#bungou stray dogs#atsushi nakajima#bsd atsushi#bsd dazai#dazai osamu#I just reread it because I wanted to figure out what my holdup was#and I think I figured it out#and as I was reading it I was thinking about the transitions I was struggling with#so I'm hoping to finish this story#within the next 2 months#that is a tentative timeline#it's currently spring break#but I have a Japanese essay to write#and preparation for my final product in my other class#I should be working on my Japanese essay right now#but I was desperate to get some words down for Lily#so maybe one chapter could get posted by the end of the week and then I might have to wait a few more months until classes are out#to get the last one written#but nothing is changed of what I want to do in the last two chapters of the story#it's still the same#it's just getting it down I'm struggling with#I think it was the transitions and the point of views and how I wanted to describe it#as I was rereading I was making a plan of action on how to approach it#I have to say though I do like the story#I'm surprised I wrote that I actually really like it
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Lil chao guy I made of clay :> this thang is like. The size of the monopoly thimble
#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#sth#my art#sonic fanart#sonic the hedgehog fanart#traditional art#polymer clay#clay#3d sculpting#sculpting#ceramics#clay art#figurine#chao#sa2#sonic adventure 2#chao garden#sa2 fanart#sonic adventure 2 fanart#Chao fanart#finished pieces#anthro#did this as an experiment because I’m currently making a big batch of earrings that I’ll be selling at a local art fair :>#He’s probably the perfect size for my teeny Tania plushie but I left her in my dorm room because I’m on spring break right now
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There has been a lot of discourse surrounding the rat grinders and it's (mostly) been really cool and interesting
But while I love their complexity, and I think that it is important to remember that they are teenager who may have died in a very traumatic way before coming back, I also think that some people in the fandom are a bit too forgiving torwards them
There's a point where "They're teens,don't be so hard on them" doesn't cut it anymore.
They spent 2 years killing small animals in the woods before going to their spring break Adventure
(which sure,is kinda normal for Aguefort. But they kept doing it even when they were higher level instead of going on actual adventures because it was easy)
Kipperlily complained about fairness and how the Bad Kids had an unfair advantage but then her and her party only ever picked easy adventures that would not challenge them or teach them anything
And also,while it can be understandable to want to feel unique and I agree that Kipperlily's anger issues are a sign of deeper problems;
we can all agree that a fairly wealthy girl with living parents being envious of a lower class boy whose mother can barely pay for food because she is jealous that his dad died horribly when he was little IS absolutely fucked up right?
Like, it's such a deeply entitled attitude; and it doesn't make her a monster, but her not being a monster doesn't make her an innocent little angel who never did anything wrong; a middle ground exists
#And one last thing#Ankarna is not controlling any of them#Because Lucy was alive after their spring break Adventure#Ankarna only made them an offer#but they can still change their minds#they have free will#and That's what Lucy did when she changed her mind about changing her current god#dimension 20#brennan lee mulligan#fantasy high junior year#fhjy spoilers#d20 fhjy#kipperlilly copperkettle#ruben hopclap#oisin hakinvar#mary ann skuttle#lucy frostblade#buddy dawn#ivy embra
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Vaali postin' How obvious is it that I have a favor Rotgrind character? -_-'
#currently only on episode four so these drawings are all just based on her early game behavior#rotgrind#narrative declaration#my art#vaali#oh also#i accidentally left my drawing tablet pen at home over spring break so#(other than what's in my backlog) its gunna be sketches for a couple months
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Recently finished ceramics projects of mine
INCLUDING PIGEON POT!!!
#this is sadily the only video I have of finished pigeon pot sorry it’s in my school cafeteria 😭#currently at school rn#in German and we have a sub glipppe#I’m supposed to be working on a paper about my spring break but I no no wanna and writing in past tense is scary#pigeons#pigeon#pinch pot#bowls#pots#pottery#cat#cats#ceramics
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yeri ur so cool what are u reading rn (not the same anon as before but im curious)
not a whole lot! i’m pretty swamped with school and my job as it is so i’ve only started a few books this month! (i’m not counting any dnfs, webtoons, manga or wns/lns i started prior to february because those obviously don’t count :)) they don’t count! they absolutely don’t count!)
the tomb of dragons by katherine addison
poverty, by america by matthew desmond
going to another world where i’m not sorry for being a liberal arts student by jeongsoo
snow on her pillow by liu yuan chang ning
#anon#i can’t wait for spring break#i will read absolutely 0 books on my tbr#and sleep for the entirety of break hejfjjf#(i received an arc of tod which is why i’m currently reading it)
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part 5/5 of that fuckass sihjr yuri au look book ⁉️ (4)
(yeah anyways this is oc x canon content, which is practically part of this aus canon,,, just a heads up there,,,)
haruhiko
-office siren!!!!!!!!!!!
-(i was tempted to also describe hatori as office siren back when i made that other post. and perhaps it also counts but its just very different??????? like hatori is supposed to resemble a very normal office worker (which she is...... allegedly), whereas haruhiko looks like she literally owns the company (shes getting there)).
-also kind of inspired by bayonetta yes thanks for noticing :)
-usually very feminine, a little bit in contrast with usagis more androgynous style (like it is mostly a matter of personal style, but in a way its also like an allegory to how haruhiko seems to be confined by her role within the usami family while usagi managed to escape it and make a name of herself, and so haruhiko disproves of usagis “breaking of gender norms” or whatever bc its a reflect of that freedom she just will never seem to get???? or something like that lalalalalala)
-she wears skirts most of the time. *obviously* never anything above the knee ofc bc she! is! a! proper! woman!
-(you know, for someone who really likes drawing mini skirts and long legs and shit,, most of my au characters seem to be allergic to the idea of wearing a mini skirt kshfksjfkdhfksj)
-so she only wears pants when she has to be in construction site (which is not very often bc she is more into the design part of the process). and when she is there shes not like breaking any safety rules,, but she does look a little off.
-always (ALWAYSSSSS) dresses in dark colors, namely black, red and purple. Its sober and appropriate and shit, but also I feel it gives her and miwako this sort of darker mutual aesthetic that I kinda like? its like a couple of vampires except none of them would ever go full goth, one bc daddy fuyuhiko would never allow it and the other bc she cannot dedicate more than 5 minutes to her looks
-loves lace. But not only as in tiny details here and there, I mean full pieces of fabric covered in black lacey flowers (that's kinda what I was trying to convey with the third look but idk if it worked jdhsjdhshs)
-rather subtle but still very obviously expensive jewelry. Just a friendly reminder that she is rich :)
-very dark makeup also (at least compared to others(?)
-short hair bc its easier to style and take care of. i also like to think of it as an allegory to her more neat and composed self (for the sake of societal acceptance), in contrast to miwako very clearly no longer giving a shit about that which also reflects on her messier hair GOSH I LOVE HAIR SYMBOLISM
-very tall but not as tall as her sister (just like in canon). she does not make a big deal out of it bc she is very mature, but it is secretly a bit of a pet peeve for her
- bad enough myopia for the glasses to stay on most of the time. ig she does has the resources to get eye surgery… but i dont want her to =)
miwako
-youd think that since this is an oc were talking about she shouldve be a lot easier to design bc its not like i can go very ooc with a character *i* invented… but you’d be wrong
-she was actually one of the hardest ones to design for some very strange reason xd
-so one of her main things design-wise is that she looks like an engineer (?) because she is one,,
-this is such a funny statement tho bc i literally study in an university thats exclusively degrees focused on exact sciences and engineering… and so far in the two and a half years ive been there i have never seen a single woman, be it a student or a teacher, that looks anything like miwako kfkhsjhsjd like not even the less girly girls dress like that
-on the other hand tho, easily more than half of the male population dresses just like that,,, so ig miwako is more like the butch engineer representation we didnt know we needed? or something?
-and ik that concept is supposed to sound like super hot but unfortunately to all of us miwako is kind of a loser u_u
-aywayyyyyyyys….. wears button-up shirts almost religiously; usually the kind youd find in your dads closet, but significantly smaller. the very few times she is not wearing one of those she is wearing a turtleneck bc god forbids she shows any more skin that that
-thermostat is very fucked up as well so virtually all of the time you will see her with a sweater or a jacket or a cardigan or whatever she found in her closet that morning
-almost exclusively dresses in dark, very muted colors, mostly bc she just hates calling any sort of attention onto herself
-i also remember as i was designing her that she kinda started resembling will graham to me???? it wasnt even intentional but i cant unsee it now kjskjgkajfk
-(what if will graham was a lesbian,,, the lives that would change,,,,, )
-average height, if only sliiiiightly taller than that
-very skinny. obviously not chiaki levels of skinny, but skinny enough to create some sort of complex (she actually kinda resembles misaki in this regard………..)
-long curly hair that she doesnt pay much mind in styling. i already explained that symbolism
-has dark hair just like haruhiko. i know this is like incest to nakamura, but i kinda just really like how she looks with dark hair??????
-the big ass glasses are more than a design choice. they are because she has very very bad sight and zero sense of aesthetics (amazing time to fall for an architect......)
-its also not very obvious by just looking at her from afar, but she is kind of supposed to resemble edgar allan poe??? you know with the droopy eyes, quite pronounced eyebags (that i forgot to draw xd), dark messy hair, that ever-lasting serious and kind of melancholic expression…..
-this does indeed have an explanation. i dont wanna get too much into miwako lore here bc theres too much to be said and maybe i should make a post about that (eventually……), but long story short miwakos frustrated dream is to be an horror writer (remember how haruhiko used to undermine usagi for being a writer?? well this kind of originated as a sort of “karma” for that bc wouldnt it be suuuuper funny if haruhiko winded up dating a writer xdxdxdx) (the horror thing on the other side is like a way for miwako to embrace the ~darkness~ within. by darkness i mostly do mean unresolved childhood trauma. and also homosexuality). and so i chose edgar allan poe bc i feel miwakos writing style would resemble his, and also he has like a very recognizable aesthetic that i thought would be cool to reference through miwako (???)
-(in my mind this whole thing sounds very cool bear with me)
ok that was all like and subscribe for more yaoi man lesbianism thx bye :)
#we actually did it folks.......#''oh i hope i can finish this throughout spring break uwuwu'' ✊✊✊✊✊✊✊✊✊✊✊✊✊✊#i wish there was an actual 'webos' emoji ........ itd convey so many different and complex emotions.....#but anyways......#junjou romantica#yuri au#haruhiko usami#oc: miwako kinoshita#i made a couple posts abt them a long time ago... but i ended up deleting them jdhshd#idk man they just didnt align with my current vision of them that much and it was kinda embarrasing..#looking back at it maybe i shouldnt have done that tho...... oopsie doopsie :3#i hope to post some actual lore on this ship eventually tho bc i swear in my head this whole thing is amazing i swearrrrr
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guys like i promise to you I PROMISE i don’t gatekeep my chapters or anything 😭 i post as SOON as i’ve finished and there have been multiple nights where i’ve stayed up until 4-5am on a weeknight just so i can finish and post before going to sleep in order to have it out just a few hours earlier 🫥 i can’t just pull writing out of my ass though like ?? IT WILL COME WHEN IT’S DONE PLS DON’T ASK ME ABOUT IT I DON’T KNOWWWWW
#and yes maybe some authors update faster. but especially for my current project each part is over 10k words. i just cannot do that in a day#well like. actually yes i can. WHEN I AM ON BREAK FROM CLASS.#i literally have ONE more exam let me finish that and i swear i will write all of spring break i have nothing else to do anyways#m’s thoughts
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lads it is mostly my fault (was sick, didn't tell healthcare until it was Dire, was sentenced to bed rest for the rest of my time at camp) that I literally can't say goodbye to these 100+ people I've come to love properly before I leave. I'm not permitted to participate in any singing, dancing, communal joy, any event that's remotely fun (that's nearly word for word what they said) here at camp. and I'm leaving EARLY, am still miserably sick, and have a four hour commute back home on top of that, because there's no one available to drive. literally cried my eyes out over everything just now and am This Close to crying my eyes out againnnnn
#not to list my woes again but today was Pretty Bad#the horrors: learned that one of the girls I'm working with is the cousin of the boy whom I was so torn up over last year (lol)#received a message from the second boy I was torn up over in the spring saying: do you want to live together? (LOL)#and was hit with the two-by-four of reality today about my own Delusions and such repeatedly over the head. over and over and over LOLLLL !#HOWEVER. the joys: tea. Bible reading time. lots of prayer. laughed a lot with my coworkers.#confided in a friend whom i know can hold secrets close. listened to another friend's voice message on loop. the rain made it not too hot.#i know joy cometh in the metaphorical morning but i wanted joy to come in the form of dancing and singing and worshipping together#and being able to tell each and every person goodbye properly and with the gravity and love they each deserve#i simply!!!!! cannae take this!!!!!! and yet I WILL :'))))))))) bear it with grace#(THAT'S dramatic)#sighhhh anyhow i'm currently mentally digging a little grave for the third disappointment in love i've experienced#since breaking up with my ex boyfriend. the ground is hard my hands are tired and the earth won't budge but i WILL dig that grave#and leave that little ill-formed ill-judged ill-managed love in it#dang i'm tired in all senses of the word!#and YET. there is still a part of me that is light and buoyant and determined to make the most of things#it is so hard to be miserable when the anneish part of you never dies.........sigh#healing girl era summer '24
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still alive. hanging out with my pal helped it was chill and awesome how easy it was just to sit arnd in each others company doin our own things. on shift w the fun coworker so hopefully i can let his voice wash over me like waves this evening i just gotta make it through from now until i clock in & then from when i close up to when i get home n eat dinner. closing up will put me thru insane illness i fear but we ball nothin i aint dealt with before
#shitboxposting#amazed im still alive. in a good way being alive is so nice#it smells like spring outside ! thats so nice !!#i think my current ennui is not having a good picture of what i want my future to look like & more importantly#not feeling like i'll get there#im coming back to it though. this tiny precious dream i dont talk about because its too fragile and i want nothing to break it#i literally want a home. with a couch and a sliding glass door to the backyard and kinda near the beach if i could manage it#a sunroom or garden i can sit & draw in . that golden stove light on the bottom of the microwave . a stack of board games#a guest room & so many spare pillows and blankets so people can crash. decent tv. big dining room table. kitchen island#my beanbag can come with me. a dinky lil room for myself. plenty of lamps and low light sources#im working towards a degree so i can afford all that. im getting better at being friendly so i can have friends over more readily .#it may seem frustrating when romantic relationships dont work out but aside from those individual attempts im getting better personally@#being able to handle having one at all. that progress is harder to see but i cant ignore that#im feeling better now. gnna play hades 2
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i havent been on tumblr in so long that half of you have changed urls
#esha.txt#HELP!#ive legitimately been so busy w hw and stuff and then using private twitter a lot more. unfortunately. and then also when i want to talk ab#current hyperfix i just go talk to my friends directlythjgbcvncks#wait guess what happened thats super exciting and cool tho. i went to japan for spring break and found official utena merch :3#so now i own the memories of rose photo album..!!!!
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hey bb how's the comm going? no rush just have to alleviate the anticipation somehow lol
relatively awesome :3
#youve inspired me to like read up on ne zha lore during spring break#holy quac it’s. such a banger#thankyou vro for introducing me to this movie(s) i lov this dragon guy#speaking of dragon guy ao bing ohhhmy god his design is peak#like i thought itd be a pain to draw at first but holy shit its so fun#he is so prettty#i want to do him justice ive been looking up like 5 refs and i found the sculpture pose so fuckig good#its currently a sketch but i kinda like what i did with the tree lowkey#i didnt know i can draw trees now i used to have sucha painful time there#ok we’re just yapping now
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Feeling the need to chart out my worries again and write through God's answers to all of them and wow it's been over a year since I did that
#not because i haven't had worries but they haven't come in battalions OR i've been too busy to focus on them#it is insane to me that it's been a year since then. truly i feel like all of it was yesterday#a brief selection of things i'm stressing about now: writing a lecture. getting a job.#if i get this job how will i live in this town with ONE BAKERY and ONE APARTMENT CURRENTLY AVAILABLE#i'm a small city girl. need a bank of places to go have novelty and fun#or maybe it will be helpful for me to get to fully know my whole community and not be stressed at wanting to try it all?#when will i have time to play guitar. when will i have time to make a dress for my grandpa's funeral (timing unknown)#what if i write my dissertation intro and conclusion and my advisor rejects it#what if i'm too sad about moving to love my friends this summer#what if i don't move and i can't figure out how to share a kitchen with my small group leader (whose house i will live at)#when will my pastor finally get together with me about this trinity module he wants me to write#what will i submit for AAR/SBL#what if my brother's wedding conflicts with my friend's wedding#how am i gonna get ahold of the books i need for the lecture with the library closed for spring break#like ok clearly some of those are plainly silly some i can just get up and do something about and some are just a matter of faith#but they're all jumbled
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I understand why tattoos are expensive, but also I want so many and absolutely do not have the money for that
#currently have three ideas for my next tattoo (though I’m probably going to go for the first since it’s the smallest and will cost less)#1) Gerry Keay style eyes on my shoulders#2) Stan’s tattoo from gravity falls#3) stars on my hips (saw someone with that recently and they looked really cool so now they’re on the list)#my goal is to get one of these over spring break#j rambles
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Another day, another work shift I spend writing fanfic
#I should be working on an assignment but the brain rot is taking over#I’m too excited to finish my current fic I can’t help it#perchance I’ll publish it during spring break? we’ll see how it goes#yes this is about anderperry
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Since I was technically supposed to have this done today, sneak peak of the incident lore. Can you believe it’s already been 6 years since Lake was almost killed by Axel’s negligence the big day? Wow man time flies. Bro I was so confident I was gonna finish this by today. My exact words were “there’s no way” I believe 💀 I’m only 2k words in and Axel literally just got to Lakes house. I was originally gonna have it just like— begin at the incident wtf is wrong with me? No one cares about the Axel old timer lore Tye, they just wanna see Lake suffer 🙄 if that’s you though, fear not! Lake isn’t even on screen yet and he’s already radiating so much misery that it even got to Axel 💀 So yeah. The moral of the story is, wear green today or Axel might come back to life to pinch you or something (he’s threatening Tomiya Winsor that man has no fear)
You know the drill. Ignore the wordiness and grammar I haven’t edited yet 🙏🏾 have fun out there today guys! Let me know if you find the rainbow that leads to gold, I’ve been having trouble finding it these past few.
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