#it's math and I suck at math so bad!!!!
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This is stupid 😭
#my art#dragon's dogma#ddda#quina#valmiro#it took me so long to draw quina's body that I just kinda gave up on her face 😭#also I know the perspective n stuff is off#and that this doesn't even look like cassardis#pretend it looks right#I wasn't really paying attention when laying it out lmao#also my hands were sweating so bad the whole time coloring this cuz I have my final GED test tomorrow#and I'm so SCARED!!! 😭#it's math and I suck at math so bad!!!!#but if I pass this month I get to graduate#wish me luck 😭🤞
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Wouldn’t it be so fucking funny if we finally get to meet Steve’s parents in s5 and they’re like…typical suburban parents
After making them mostly monsters in fanfic like guys fffff half the time we make them emotionally abusive and/or neglectful, the other half physically, and then like if you’re on the dark web then 3% of the time they work for the lab and Steve’s like a failed number…
For like, the vibes ya know
…But then we actually meet them and it’s a pudgy office dad with glasses married to an “I can be cool >:(‘ mom.
-“Steve, I thought you said your mom doesn’t trust your dad…looks like they love each other?”
Steve: “???wym, of course they love each other. But obviously she doesn’t trust dad on trips cuz he got lost in a Texas airport once, duh.”
-“ok, what about when you said he’d kill you if he found out you drink?”
Steve: “Yeah??? I’m literally underaged and if he found out I’ve been watering down his $200 liquor he’d be so pissed 🙄”
Like, TO BE FAIR Steve’s dad telling him to get a summer job to figure out the value of money or whatever is pretty typical like baby boy didn’t work in high school 😭 and he’s like pouting and huffing about in scoops
He has a fancy car that his parents trust him to drive and take care of
And him not wanting to work for his dad is valid of him like imagine his dad is trying to be supportive like “if you ever need a job son you can come work with me :)”
and steve would hate that cuz to him it would feel like he didn’t deserve it or work for it, working for his dad feels like it means he failed to make something of himself
And like Steve’s not a bad kid, he’s a teenager who just hates his first job cuz customer service sucks, does stupid kid shit like drink and go to parties, and feels like he missed his chance to makes something of himself that he and his parents can be proud of just because he’s a little behind than the rest of his peers
I relate to that so hard
Like bro said he was having a party at his house and it was just like…4 people he invited with a six pack. No music or anything just chillin on lawn chairs and shooting the shit
Even his home is in warm colors 💀
But we love the angst 🤌 the drama 🤌 and torturing our favorite character
#Texas airports are huge#steve harrington headcanon#steve harrington#I too was a teen who felt like a failure because I had everything#I had a supportive family#and I got rejected from ALL but one university#who said I needed to do a math course in summer if I accepted cuz I fucking suck at math#I felt so anger at myself and my older brother was like don’t worry about money or a job just try your best#and if it doesn’t work out we’re here :)#and it’s like I KNOW but I need to prove to myself that Im capable do it on my own#anyways#this turned into a projecting post…#my bad guys#bee speaks#steddie#harringrove#stancy#stoncy#platonic stobin
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I’m a candle drowning in its own wax help
#yap attack#tw vent ig#not really it’s more of a schoolwork complain#there’s so much schoolwork#and I can’t even study for it or work on it#because I have ushering#which is like a job but I don’t get freaking paid#oop sorry#I get paid in experience and back pain#I DO NOT WANNA USHER TONIGHT#NOOOO#also I did not wanna take the bus home either#fuck today this suckssss#actually this week has sucked super bad and it’s not even over#I HAVE AN EXAM ON THE WEEKEND#FUCK THIS#also an English thing due on friday#and a math test next week#grossss#I hate school sm I just wanna draw the ninja turtles and my ocs
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#wow. i just tried to make a very simple image edit#and i was so utterly incapable of getting any image editing app to do ANYTHING i wanted that it put me into a blind fury#like i literally had to get up and walk away and make a cup of tea so i wouldn't throw my laptop against the wall#it's very rare that i discover something i am SO bad at that it causes me this much frustration#i guess it's good to be reminded of this feeling now and then#probably many of the things that are easy for me feel this way to other people#whether it's something i'm really good at like language-related stuff#or something i suck at but only find mildly annoying like math#or something i'm mid at but still find interesting and enjoyably challenging like programming#there's probably some folks out there who feel about it the same way i feel about image editing#like frustrated almost to the point of tears and genuinely ready to stab someone in the chest out of sheer anger#and legit all i wanted to do was make part of an image transparent and overlay it on another image#that would then show through in the transparent part of the top layer :')#this is probably so easy for some of y'all. i am very humbled :(#anyway it's interesting that most types of apps – no matter what they're for – are immediately intuitive to me#whether it's an app for language-learning; coding; writing; reading; music; you name it. it tends to make sense to me#i don't know if the apps i have for images (firealpaca and sketchbook) are just particularly badly designed#or if it's normal and traditional for art app ideas of 'intuitive' to be very different from those of most other apps#(and like... i have done a lil bit of digital art before! i've worked with layers and all that! and i STILL find it this mystifying!)#cosmo gyres#anyway. just venting. please ignore
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Why the hell did I type prodigy on the Pinterest board search thing. Bitch why would I have a prodigy board
#I miss prodigy ong#I put myself in a lower math grade than I was cause I sucked so bad at math#I didn’t want to fail#💛!me talking💀
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the only reason why I'm surviving college right now is through pure luck and unfortunately with a little bit of skill and none of that is translatable to statistics 101 I really suck at that and even though it's an open book exam I fear I'm going to fuck it up because I'm far from having finished preparing my notes
#student life#bad student#university#i hate anything that is ever so slight maths related but I do understand the importance of statistics in research#I just suck at it#might have to redo that exam in the summer and at the very least it will give me the time to have nice notes and to finish doing all the#exercices hopefully#unless I choose to fuck all this summer which is very likely lol
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#ppl will rage that anti intelectualism is bullshit and then in the next post complain that they hate math and it is useless#like ok do you even realise that the point of..ath is not just memorizing formulas but knowing how why where they come from how to use them#and learning effecient problem solving and also increase reaction speed to solving issues#like yeah ok maybe u had a bad teacher or u just actually suck at math thats fair#dont throw and entire scientific language that so many other fields.relly on under the bus#even in art i use math and chemistry so lke maybe go learn that everything is connect and science is beautiful#and tje youll be less of an annoying whinner about something just bc u suck at it
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I admit I still kind of am in survival mode from yesterday. Like I was the "this is fine" dog with a metaphorical house on fire around me. And By God I sure fuckin managed it. In that last hour, as time crept up and I started panicking a bit, I just kept muttering to myself about how "it's fine, I'll be fine. I'm so Fucking good at finishing things." And ykno what? I Did It!!!
But now I still feel that feeling of impending doom. Like there is something I need to do Right Now and if I don't I am going to be Severely Fucked. Trying to get myself to relax some bc while there *is* stuff I need to do today, it's nowhere near as pressing or as monumental a task as yesterday's thing. And no one can go at full throttle all of the time!!!! Gotta chill out for a bit. Watch some anime. Build some Legos. You know.
#speculation nation#got bowling today. we r starting this uhhh. tournament thing. fun fun!!#we r going on teams and we r gonna be matched up to the other teams for the rest of the semester. one per day#and for things to be fair we are starting using the handicap system. where there's extra padding depending on what ur average is#to make things more even across different skill levels. u just gotta bowl better than your average & then u have a shot at winning#which makes all that time i spent sucking shit quite beneficial honestly. ive got like a 90 pin handicap now#as in i add 90 pins to whatever my score is. monday i bowled a 130 (highest ive done on a graded game!) & so with handicap it was a 190#which i LOVE to see. wait not 190. 220. i can definitely do math.#but yeah so that's fun. and then it's web class and working on my presentation for tomorrow. shouldnt be hard tho.#i REALLYYYY need to do my dishes too. if i have the energy for it i should do that Today. bc. good god they are building up.#and i need to work on my next web lab tomorrow. wow it's only wednesday? it feels like thursday. like tomorrow should be friday.#anyways i dont have many more late hours so i wanna finish my lab early if i can. NO more procrastinating for me.#yesterday sucked so bad that i am like. nuh uh. im working on everything ahead of time. i am. i am. i swear.#but yeah . life . im managing. need to chill out some tho. gonna build some legos
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i dont want to be a hater but in its current state the room 150 boss fight like reallllllyy fucking sucks lmao i spent like half an hour on it taking my time and being so careful and ive tried multiple times already and didnt win this time either and i feel sick to my stomach LOL but maybe thats a me problem
#doors floor 2#it just is like. bad. really bad. i like the terminal. i will draw the machine as a cute girl. but otherwise. like. it just sucks.#i really dont like anything about it#i like doing math i guess. but oh boy i wish i could find one of the terminals so i could do the math segments.#sorry maybe im just malding because i just lost to it again but like#its really bad#but it has lots of potential and the enemies are cool and i have faith that theyre gonna improve it
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why didnt i get the smart stem autism, what the fuck is a blorbo
#how can i write about my scientist inventor critters if i know fuck all about math and science#my least favorite subjects#i do so bad in those classes#theyre interesting in a setting outside of school but i really dont know anything technical#and thats kind of what i need in this scenario#fake it til i make it? apologize in the ao3 tags for my butchering of scientific terms?#thats probably what will happen#or ill get sucked into a research spiral and come out of it covered in soot and with singed eyebrows and no clearer understanding of the#subject#whatevs
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Actually it is SO weird to me to remember that I was an engineering student and that later on I had been pursuing a minor in statistics
I may be a IT & com person in the end, but I do have the foundations of engineering and statistics in my brain too. Wild !
#speculation nation#if i hadnt liked coding so much i probably wouldve still been an engineer.#like my school does a first year engineering track where u learn the basics and then explore different engineering options#so by ur second year u choose your official track and that decides the rest of your schooling.#and id been thinking about computer & electrical engineering. often goes hand in hand.#guys i couldve been an electrical engineer. honestly that wouldve been so cool. wasnt meant to be tho 👍#i took a coding class my 2nd semester. first experience with coding. it was in C. i LOVED it.#and it got me comparing computer engineering and computer science and i decided that i wanted to do computer science#but well the intro course for that fucking sucked. didnt wanna go back to engineering either bc i hated engineering lol#im smart enough but it's fuckin soul sucking man.#eventually tho i found my way to my current home. im a techie :3 and im happy with that.#anyways do i seem like the kind of person who was into engineering and statistics? sometimes it's weird for me to remember.#but i did spent Years assuming id end up as an engineer. my grandpa was one. my dad was studying to be one b4 he dropped out#and my sister is one. just kinda runs in the family i guess. & so i was So Sure that was where i was going.#took. an engineering class in high school and everything. taught me some good foundational skills in modeling#also was the class that let me develop my signature. bc we had a notebook we had to sign the top of every day#so me doing my signature over and over again. i decided to use it as an opportunity to make it My Own. rather than just my name in cursive.#so yeah im a techie that talks good but i do have that math brain. engineering basis. statistics knowledge.#kinda feel like a jack of all trades (master of none) with it all. but see thats a good thing for companies (i hope)#ive got foundational knowledge of many things. and i am Adaptable. they can teach me the in depth shit i need to know themselves.#and i Also have my work experience in management... which i hope will help my case when applying to companies too.#aaaahhh!!! so many things to think about!!! but at the end of the day i am smart & educated and i will be a good asset to any company i join#i just need to convince them of that 😂 but i can probably figure something out. something !!!#i will graduate college and get some kind of IT job that pays decently & work my way up to maybe someday being an IT manager or smth#i can finally start. truly growing up. instead of being stuck in forever college unable to drive myself anywhere.#have my IT job and a car and the ability to do Whatever i want.... god i want it so bad.#im just daydreaming by this point. god im so excited to finally graduate college.
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Me: I got a 25 on the ACT!
Mom: it won't get you into BYU, especially with your math grade the way it is.
Me: I have a 3.7 GPA, and I can always retake the ACT?
Mom: you're going to need a really good admissions essay if you want to get into BYU.
Me: thanks, mom.
#25 without even studying#so anyways now i don't want to tell her about my AP test score#it's a 3 which means that I passed#but at the same time#I'm always told to do better#and there's no validation there#just do better so you can get into your dream school#like mother. i'm trying!#but do you know what straight a's get me? panic attacks every time i get anything less than an A#do you want to repeat 9th grade where i was told that every second counted towards college and you'd have to hold me#as i cried at 10 pm at night because I thought I wasn't good enough#and it's taken me literal years to finally reach the conclusion that my grades aren't everything and even then i still panic#whenever i get anything less than a C#the math grade was an outlier from a set of horrible circumstances#i finished 11th with 5 A's two B's and a D and you come after me for the D#it's always 'do better; your grades suck' when I have one bad grade#i'm taking 3 AP classes next year because I want to college credit#I was on the honor roll the entirety of junior high#I'm working towards a chord at graduation#maybe one day i'll be praised for everything i've sacrificed just to be good enough#i know that I need better grades and scores for BYU#and I've literally been working my ass off to get into BYU my entire life
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Wait why can't you get into sewing or clay sculpting? i actually do wanna start sculpting stuff, but working with ceramics is kinda intimidating so im gonna start with polymer clay instead. is that an option for u?
sewing and such mainly bc im stupid and its hard for me to do hands on stuff bc i become easily frustrated
I actually did mean polymer clay! I dont like ceramics actually (i love it in theory but my experience with ceramics classes ruined it) i meant more like polymer clay figures ^_^ but its just the same, it'd take me forever to get any good at it and thats hard to do with Tangible, Physical Medium hobbies because you have to keep wasting and buying more materials and have the flops just taking up space and making you feel bad for creating waste and such... The sewing and plushes also fall into this category... lots of waste on the road to becoming Good at it
#anonymous#skunk mail#i suck at measuring and math and thinking in 3D#i know getting good takes time but this is also why i switched to digital art bc#physical art would just keep making me so guilty for wasting paper and having so many drawings laying around#i dont like creating waste i dont like things taking up space or tossing them bc thats part of the waste it makes me feel bad
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father dearest i go back 2 school tomorrow. wish me luck
(sorry didnt feel like coloring this doodle. i hope u like when i do these sillay images hshdhshsjdj 10 likes and i’ll color it/j)
Awe, you got this, Bug! An' yes, ah love yer drawins!!
#hope ya have classes you enjoy! an' keep in mind- each of us mercs specialise in different things- we've got basically all subjects covered!#tf2#((I actually suck so bad at math))#tf2 engineer#engineer team fortress#team fortress#team fortress two#engie team fortress#emotionally intuitive engineer#engie tf2#team fortress 2#dad engie
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