#or ill get sucked into a research spiral and come out of it covered in soot and with singed eyebrows and no clearer understanding of the

[mouthsfullofsharpteeth]

why didnt i get the smart stem autism, what the fuck is a blorbo

[reversemoon255]

(From September 2020 to February 2021, I worked on a Pokémon themed Dungeons and Dragons campaign for a few friends. We didn’t get very far, but I put a significant amount of work into the world, story, and several Pokémon that would appear throughout, including an original set of starters. I want to to leave some record of my work, so I thought I’d write a few summary posts. And while I designed these Pokémon, their fantastic art was done by @extyrannomon on Twitter. I highly recommend you check them out.)

Dungeons 'n' Dragonites - Phase 1: Hello Stelopy City

Our story starts in Stelopy City, located in the Wellou Region. We get a brief introduction from DJ Tomomitsu, a radio host, before each player got their own brief story segments. Our first player was Ethan, as aspiring chef, who lived on campus at his high school. Ethan was approached by one of his dorm mates with a favor (to get him out of the building), as well as having an attractive girl meandering around the kitchen (if he wished to try flaunting his culinary skills). He would then get to choose to either finish up his side-quest or go to the local fisher's market, with him transitioning between those locations taking him to the area where he would meet his starter Pokémon:

"As you enter the alleyway, the walls are covered floor-to-ceiling in moss that seem to appear as soon as the shadows overtake the sunlight. The farther you walk, the more weeds you see popping through the cracks. Once you reach the half-way point, you come to a small open space. With the sunlight now flickering down through the plants brave enough to venture off the verdant walls, the entire area shines a bright, emerald green. In the center of this area is a decently sized fountain. It's no longer flowing, but there's a decent amount of rain water filling it up close to the brim. As you approach it, even through the murky iridescent waters, you can see a thick, fuzzy amount of lichen growing all throughout the inside of the basin. As you pass by the fountain, you hear an audible sploosh. Do you turn around? (Y/N)"

There he would meet the first of our new Starter, the Grass-Type Flymph. I kept it secret that I was doing original Starters. Part of my personal excitement in planning everything was the eventual reveal of these designs I had created. Kept me going when things started feeling like a grind.

Our second player, Johnny, started off at home, woken by his father asking him to run an errand. After being able to talk to his family a bit, he proceeded to a somewhat beaten-up house on the edge of the Pokémon-overrun abandoned district where he would receive some boat parts before leaving and the sidewalk underneath him collapses. Stumbling around the abandoned subway tunnels for a bit, he would run into our second Starter, the Fire-Type Calfyre.

Johnny's player wanted to become an entertainer, which didn't give me a lot to work session one, so a lot of his opener was focused on expanding the world and giving everyone an idea of areas they would be exploring later.

Third was Orion who had a quiet morning at home before being provoked via text messages from his siblings to chase down a mysterious "Wailord in a Top Hat." This pursuit would also lead him to the fisher's market and the nearby docks, where, after just catching sight of his quarry, he would encounter the Water-Starter Squisque.

Orion's player wanted a lot of his story to be based on his relationship with his father, so most of his opening was based on reinforcing his family dynamic. Not home, everyone’s busy, focus on work. This particular Saturday was strange in that Orion didn’t have anything going on.

Our last player was Arthur, who also lived on campus. While our other three players started their segments in bed, Arthur was playing lacrosse. After having an opportunity to show off (or fail), he would be told by a friend that he had upset his girlfriend that morning (kitchen girl from Ethan's story), and needed Arthur to pick up her favorite dessert while he attempted to woo her for the rest of the day. After doing so (while being given a chance to explore some of the local stores) he encountered a hungry Houndoom who proceeds to chase him up a fire escape. Once up there he encountered our final Starter, the Fairy-Type Utaw.

After each player met their Starters, they would have a brief tutorial battle against three Pokémon they were advantageous against before running into each other, and were subsequently arrested for "stealing" Pokémon, which would cap session one.

=====

Let's talk design. Stelopy City is loosely based on Chicago, is a portmanteau of "Steel Canopy," and Wellou is a joke on Illinois. The vast majority of the campaign was to take place in this location. Most of my players had very busy schedules (so busy it took us three sessions to get through the above opener), so DJ Tomomitsu was a way for me to easily start each session with a list of things to do (side-quests), and they as a group could decide which they were the most interested in based on time. Tomomitsu himself was based on DJ Sagara from Kamen Rider Gaim, with Tomomitsu being the name of the actor who played him.

As for the starters, I tried to stick to the reoccurring themes we’ve seen over the past 8 Generations. Flymph's name is a portmanteau of Dragonfly, Errol Flynn, and Nymph (the larval form of a Dragonfly). He's meant to be a special attacker, but, like an early DND Wizard, doesn't have access to a lot of them so he brandishes his sword-like arms to intimidate his foes instead. His diet consists entirely of lichens, algae, and similar flora, storing them in his transparent stomach pouches, and can be seen sunbathing in the water, belly up, feeding the plant matter the sunlight they need to grow. He also does not like Bug-Types, and isn’t Bug himself because of Grass/Bug’s myriad of weaknesses (for balancing), plus he changes Types after his first evolution. The theme of Grass Starters is extinction, which won’t become clear until his final evolution, but you may be able to guess how he relates.

Fire Starters are themed after the Chinese Zodiac, and of the remaining four yet to be used (including Snake, Ram, and Horse), I went with Ox. Calfyre's name is a play on Calf and Fire, and is meant to play like a Barbarian. When it comes to personality he's very timid and unsure of himself like a first-time DND player might be acting in a group. Unlike most Fire-Types, Calfyre lacks a Flame Sac. Instead, his spiral horns are filled with a freon-like liquid that, when swirled, rapidly absorbs energy from the air, which he uses for attacks. This chills the air around him, and makes him one of the few Fire-Types that are cold to the touch. Which sucks, because he’s a snugly sleeper.

Water Starters are usually themed after a weapon or character class. This usually shows in the later evolutions, but it's pretty obvious Squisque (a portmanteau of Squirt, Squire, and Bisque) is themed off a lance and shield. He's a paladin in both role and personality, charging in at the slightest sign of trouble, even if there isn't any real danger. It's the typical non-nuanced idea of what people think when they hear "Paladin." He was to a degree supposed to play a catalyst role, charging into situations the players may not want to in order to force them into helping people or combat if need be. He was also the first design I settled on, being based on an old Kaijin idea I had of a lobster-knight using its asymmetrical claws as different medieval weapons.

Utaw is unique, not just in that he was a fourth or Fairy Starter, but in conception. I was only supposed to have three players, but ended up with four. As such, his design is responsive to the others. Why a dinosaur? Because I had a mammal, crustacean, and bug, was unsure if I wanted a bird or reptile, and decided to meet half-way. Why is he Fairy? Because it has very little interaction with Fire, Water, and Grass, while still having defined weaknesses and resistances to certain types. (Also, this player wanted a Dragon-Type.) He’s based on a Utahraptor, hence the name, and is misspelled to include “Claw” or “Caw.” He’s meant to play team Bard, and uses sound moves. As for personality, he's a bit of a birdbrain who enjoys fighting. Not maliciously; it’s just fun, again acting like a new DND player who’s more interested in combat than role playing.

The idea with the personalities was that each Pokémon was supposed to start out like a rookie DND player on their first campaign. Not knowing how to play their class, being uncomfortable acting in front of a group, leaning too hard into your role without bending, or just fighting everything you see without diplomacy. It felt like a fun extra layer to each of these Pokémon that tied them just as much into the DND side of things as the Pokémon.

=====

Back to our story, after being briefly detained (mostly as an excuse to give the players time to introduce themselves to each other, something my DMs have struggled with), they meet Professor(-in-training) Bianca. The four Pokémon had been found by Silph Co., and had decided to donate them to the Unovan Pokémon Research Lab. However, after seeing the Pokémon interacting with these people, Bianca decides to give them up instead. "Pokémon should be with people," after all.

I had three side quests set up following this (after they all go to the DMV to get their Trainer's licenses). The first was a general "there's wild Pokémon here" quest where they could train and catch things. There was a sale at the mall where they could get some cheap held items and have their first trainer battle, and an event at the fisher's market where they could win some free items and would lead into their first dungeon.

The dungeon was what I was hoping they would pick, and would have them chase a group of Poipole through a warehouse, with them having different battles if they chose to enter from the front or the back. After defeating them, the Poipole would be sucked through a spontaneously generating Ultra Wormhole, with a high enough perception check revealing a strange laugh, or on a 20 have them catch a glimpse of a grey Charizard O_O

From there it was a matter of coming up with (or possibly recycling unused) side-quests until we reached the point where the Starters were about to evolve. I had a few things planned; introductions to a few reoccurring NPCs, a field trip to the local museum where they would be able to catch a Yamask (and possibly learn something about the origins of their Starters), and a raid battle against a group of Onix who would recur through the campaign.

The end of Phase 1 would come about with another dungeon. In the middle of the night, Ethan and Arthur would be awoken by their Pokémon to a group of Durant having busted through the floor of the dorm and raiding their kitchen. Easily driving them off, their Pokémon would encourage them to pursue. Later, full party in toe, the four of them would explore the Duranthill. There would be a number of possible encounters, but only one mandatory fight before reaching the depths. In said encounter, while being surrounded by a group of Durant, they would receive unexpected help from this Pokémon:

With some interpretation, they would discover that this Princess Durant was afraid for the sake of her colony. A new queen had taken up residence there, and was commanding the Durant to attack the surface and steal food for her. With additional party member in toe, they would descend further with better direction, eventually discovering the lair of the Queen Durant...

[sparklyandchic]

🦋 MINI MIND MAKEOVER 🦋

okay i started the idea for this mini little mind makeover when i broke up with my boyfriend in like january. instead of being sad or angry, i wanted to be grateful for this time and take it as an opportunity to make life better for myself. then quarantine happened, so some of these are related to things i’ve learned since that started. either way, these aren’t all concrete things to do for your mind; some of them are just ways of thinking or pep talks. but if you can find one little piece of information or thought that makes you a little bit happier for a moment, that’s all i can hope for!

5-htp: okay first off- please ALWAYS consult your psychiatrist or medical professional before taking a supplement! taking 5-htp with, for example, serotonin-increasing medications can lead to a fatal illness called serotonin syndrome. personally, i started taking it because i had been on 10 mg prozac for a few months. it definitely dulled a lot of my anxiety and had a lot of positive aspects to it, but it dulled them almost too much to the point where i felt apathetic and detached from myself and the situations i was in. i was in a very unhealthy relationship and felt like i needed my mental clarity and “overthinking” processes back in order to identify what i was feeling and how to deal with it. i felt a lot more “sensitive” after coming off it, which was actually really welcome for me at first, but then it sort of dropped off into withdrawals. i was having constant panic attacks and crying very often. after a while, i was debating going back on prozac, but remembered i had taken 5-htp before. 5-htp is an amino acid that is a direct precursor to serotonin being produced in the brain. when u eat turkey, tryptophan is converted into 5-htp which leads to your brain producing serotonin, thus why you feel calm and happy afterwards. after taking 5-htp for just a few days, ranging between 200-300 mg per day (again, do your research, ask your doctor, and start small) i stopped crying constantly and really felt this sense of calmness and wellbeing but without the detachment and apathy i felt with prozac. i could still think clearly but didn’t feel overly sensitive to every emotion which arose. personally, it is really a lifesaver and really does make a noticeable difference.

cognitive behavioral therapy: ive tried therapy a million times. well okay, like 5 or 6 different therapists. at its worst, therapists told me i needed to use my sexual power as a woman in order to get what i wanted from men, told me i’m bad at socializing and should do group therapy, said my mom shouldn’t have encouraged me to “be myself” when i was younger because it made me less likeable than if i had conformed to normal societal standards of dressing. i had gone to “therapists” who claimed to be trained in CBT, but when i told them about my experiences with dissociation, the only feedback i got was to “take more baths.” while going through a few unpleasant experiences in my personal life, i decided i should try CBT once more, but like the real kind. i found an ivy-league educated licensed psychologist (NOT a “licensed clinical social worker” who doesn’t even have a psychology degree!!) who SPECIALIZED specifically in cognitive behavioral therapy. just after the first session, i was so elated with my experience. as opposed to just telling me that i needed to be more normal or more kind or a better person, she tried to identify WHAT was making me feel that way about myself in the first place. she pointed out the positive things i do and reassured me i was kind, good, and deserving of good things. she pointed out many aspects of my situation that would have taken me days or weeks to come to on my own. i’ve realized my hubris isn’t that i’m not socially acceptable or not perfect enough, but its just that i tend to THINK that i am these things despite having no evidence of it. so, over time with therapy, my positive self image about who i am as a person has grown and strengthened and i dont just randomly feel like a bad human being anymore lol. moral of the story, if you wanna do therapy but it keeps sucking, dont give up. go to a legit psychologist, find someone who specializes in the type of therapy you’re seeking, and also be vocal during your sessions. stand up to your psychologist when they continually push a narrative onto you, and explain why you don’t agree with it. sometimes it’s their job to try different narratives to see what fits, and if you just passively let them say what they want to, you’ll never find the truth of your experience! it’s a communal effort! therapy isn’t usually a magic cure-all where one session fixes everything that goes awry in your brain. but if you find someone who knows what they’re doing they can in fact really help your thought processes become less twisted up and more clear and healthy.

meditation and mindfulness: a few weeks ago i felt anxious and overly driven to get things done to the point where i spiraled into a space of guilt or a panic attack over not getting enough things done. meditation can be so so helpful here. it’s better to spend an hour sitting and doing nothing, but doing it peacefully and then calmly moving on to doing something else, than to spend 5 hours stressing yourself over every single thing you need to get done and how much time you’re wasting. the things that need to get done will get done. another thing that i’ve realized and say to myself a lot is: “focus not on doing all things perfectly, but on doing the small things well.” by this i mean, stop thinking about the 20 things you need to get done and how it all needs to be perfect, but instead take your time with the task that presents itself as most beneficial right now and focus on enjoying it and giving your whole self to the process. for example, stop thinking about how you need to clean your room, your closet, donate clothes, take a shower, take out the trash, read, workout, etc. think to yourself; “which task would bring me the most joy right now?” if the answer is taking a shower, then take that damn shower. bring your speaker into the bathroom, scrub every inch of your scalp with shampoo, scrub your feet and behind your ears and your neck with body wash, brush the conditioner through your hair fully. you may end your shower with 19 other things to do, but god damn if you can’t enjoy a single one of them and be present for it, what’s the fucking point! go light a candle and bask in its glow, go make your bed and huddle up in your neatly arranged covers, go take a long bath or a thorough shower, and be proud of and content with that today. 

relationships, with others and yourself: okay, if you missed the memo, my ex-boyfriend sucked. like genuinely was a bad person. he was a drug dealer, so that’s red flag number 1 (which i ignored of course), he hadn’t graduated high school (he was 18, i was 20, he was supposed to graduate the last semester but refused to do the work and ignored me and his mother when encouraged to do it, which is uhh definitely red flag number 2 which i also ignored), he habitually did not show up for dates on time or lied about what he was going to do or what he did (literally everything he did was a red flag and i rlly ignored all of it). the worst part was how he responded when i worked up the courage to speak to him about it. if we had agreed upon a time for our date but he showed up literally 8 hours late, he would blame it on me because i “could have called” him, or that i was “demanding too much of” him, or that i “should have said something earlier so now [i was] just dragging it out because it already happened.” basically, whatever narrative he pushed at me, i eventually gave into. i’ve dealt with gaslighting in a relationship before and a part of me knew what was happening to me, but a part of me also kept having hope for him, kept empathizing with him, kept wanting to believe in him. after a bit too much time, i finally realized you have to trust yourself, empathize with yourself, and believing in yourself over anyone else. at first i felt bad for him not being able to graduate because i had my own struggles with high school and getting work done. i thought he may have issues but he deserves someone to be there for him because i wanted someone to be there for me. despite the pain and stress he was causing me, i sat around crying over him because i cared about him and tend to over-empathize with people close to me, whether they deserve it or not. my therapist told me something that at first i did not understand, but over time came to grasp in its entirety: “some people do not deserve your love or kindness.” after our first session, my homework was to “consider when you are being kind and when you are being taken advantage of.” this made me realize that what feels like your instinctual nature to be nice to others, can in fact be a self-sabotaging unfair action, depending on the other person’s response. i might be dishing out a lot right now, but bear with me. think of it this way: you regard an action as a “kind action”. you might think “kind actions” include: forgiving someone for large mistakes, putting someone’s needs over yours, sparing them some change when they ask for it, listening to the problems they are dealing with every day. BUT when their actions include not forgiving you for minor mistakes, not giving a sh*t about your needs or considering them, not caring how much money they take from you and how much money you need to have around, or habitually glossing over your problems because it doesn’t benefit them to care, THEN those actions you performed are NOT “KIND ACTIONS” anymore. the act of continuing to give them leeway is now the act of being taken advantage of. the act of giving them money is now the act of being taken advantage of. the act of buying into their story at the expense of your sanity, is now the act of being taken advantage. basically, all i’m saying is START PUTTING YOURSELF FIRST AND TRUSTING YOURSELF WHEN YOU FEEL SOMEONE DOESN’T HAVE YOUR BEST INTERESTS IN MIND. 

ending thoughts: i know quarantine is difficult right now. the desire to grow contrasted with the inability to move. maybe try and follow that old 2008~ quote; “bloom where you are planted”. you might not be able to reach the goals you thought you would during this time. you might not be able to run a marathon or make a bunch of new friends or wake up at 6 AM to workout or redo your bedroom or get a rhinoplasty or join a gym or get an internship. working towards productivity might be unrealistic right now. but you can work everyday towards becoming the woman you want to be, mentally. you can work on learning to be content, learning to make the best with what you have, learning to appreciate the little things, learning to slow down. these are all qualities that i for one want to have just as much as i want to be attractive or successful. if you can’t enjoy success, what’s the fucking point! life is on pause right now, take this moment as a gift and consider your internal world and what parts of your mind need a makeover. there are horrible things happening in the world right now, do what you can to help, but if you’re safe and healthy then be grateful for the things you can learn from this difficult time. take it slow, but keep moving forward! 

[allen-d-rivers]

Terminal Chapter 1

Agent will be submitting to the Big 5 within a few weeks. Wish me luck! Please share your thoughts too! 

Have you ever smelled death?

I’m not being dramatic when I ask this. And no, it doesn’t reek like rotting flesh or festering excrement. There’s a sterile quality to the smell. A stale, sort of expired scent permeating throughout the air.

Don’t believe me? There are dozens of documented stories of dogs, cats, and even pigs becoming worked up in the days leading up to their owner’s sudden passing. There are the tales of hospice cats snuggling up to patients in their final hours, comforting them as they drift off to the big sleep. Some people think the animals have a sixth sense, but I think it’s simply the smell.

Working in a hospital makes you privy to it.

I think about this as I stare down at 406, his body gaunt and emaciated below a tangle of thick sheets. His chest rises and falls in shallow breaths as he awaits yet another day of bedridden treatment.

A day that shall never come.

The first time 406 met me, he squinted, eyes beady and distrusting as he said, “what are you, some type of spic?”

I informed him my dark features came from my mother, who is predominately Italian in heritage.

“So you’re a dago,” he barked. “A fucking w.o.p.”

At least he had his acronyms down.

406’s food was never warm or good enough, the bed was never in proper position, and his pillows were never quite fluffed to his liking.“What took you so long?” he once demanded after repeatedly pressing the call bell. “Lazy bastards like you are what’s wrong with this country. We should send all of you Mexicans back to where you came from.”

“My heritage is Italian, well, only a part of it,” I corrected him.“Shut up, greasebag,” 406 rasped. “And get me more pillows. These are as hard as rocks.”

406, like so many, wanted something to complain about. Some proclamation to be heard and respected. Some demand to make and someone to assert himself over.

A fleeting moment of control in a life spiraling out of it.

406 isn’t an isolated case. He’s a frequent flyer. These are the types who visit the hospital so much they should have their own reserved rooms. Honestly, some of the people are unfortunate, cursed with bad luck and genetic predisposition. A vast majority of the regulars, however, end up coming back as a consequence of their own choice.

Refusing diet and exercise despite a heart condition. Refusing to take medication appropriately even as symptoms worsen. Refusing to abandon carbs and sugars even as diabetes continues to wreak havoc on their body.

You know, unavoidable stuff.

406 has a given name, but in a hospital a person becomes a number, a set of duties and responsibilities. A temporary occupant in a bed until they’re shipped out.

Shipped out can mean one of two things.

406 lets out a ragged cough in his sleep, a wheeze so deep I hear it settling into his lungs. He’s deteriorating, and the affliction isn’t only physical. Sure, his feet have been amputated due to the complications from his diabetes, and yes, his hands are next, but there’s also something much worse wearing away at him.

A cancer of the soul if you were being poetic.

A shitty life if you weren’t.   

406’s family had been helping themselves to his social security checks while he wasted away in the hospital. They rarely bother visiting him, and when they do, it’s always about money.

See? It makes sense.

Pricks like him aren’t formed in a void.

Miserable outside and in, he wallows in bitterness, liver and kidney failing. At this point he’s near the end of his journey. His doctor says he may not make it out of the hospital again.

He’s right.

I take a deep breath. I’m holding a pillow and standing over him. The privacy curtain is closed around his bed. At 2:03 a.m. there is no one to bother us; the only other aide is on the other side of the floor and his nurse has no business with him at this hour.I smile and wonder if the pillow is fluffed enough for him as I lean over and cover his face with it.

Trust me, he needs this.

This isn’t about revenge.

Well, not entirely.

406 is peacefully asleep for the first few seconds, then he springs to life. He thrashes in a desperate struggle to avoid the inevitable.

Call this expedition.

Call it deliverance.

“Shhh, I’m helping you,” I whisper.

406 doesn’t see it this way. He scratches at me, nails grinding down my shirt sleeve. I press my knee to his midsection to take the air out of him and keep him in place.

“This can be so beautiful if you’d let it be.”

Research indicates that many who experience severe medical trauma go through a “near death experience” which entails feelings of euphoria and peace, usually accompanied by a vision, either the classic brightly lit corridor or a pleasant memory. A sort of natural high occurs in the brain when this happens, and we’re transported to a state where there is only calm acceptance.

Your body’s coping mechanism.

About twenty percent of cardiac arrest survivors report this or a pleasing out of body experience. It can be such a magnificent thing, waltzing towards death, your body letting go of all ills.

406 doesn’t seem to get it.

“Mmmmrrrfffph!” he cries.His screams are muffled by the pillow. His struggles are mighty at first but already start to fade. I press down on him with more force.

As 406’s chest heaves up and down his cells are going through a process called respiratory acidosis. This is when his cells are unable to remove their carbon dioxide and thus poison themselves with their own waste. With the delicate cellular pH levels thrown off, system after system begins to fail as cells melt away and die.

Crazy, isn’t it?

We self destruct on even the most basic levels.

One of 406’s legs nearly connects with me but the blankets hold him down, trapping him in a death cocoon. As he fights, I think about the state of his soul. I wonder if 406 thinks he’s going to Heaven or Hell, assuming he is a believer.

Purgatory is a state in between salvation and damnation, where those with hearts dedicated to God, but who may have sinned, receive spiritual purification before ascending to Heaven.

Think of it as detox for the soul.

Twelve step spiritual counseling.

A complete luxury spa treatment wiping away the grime and filth of your life.

As long as the person’s heart is dedicated to Jesus Christ, there’s a chance they’ll transition into Heaven. It’s not guaranteed, however, and there are many factors to consider. There are venial sins, mortal sins, sins against the Holy Spirit, ways of being accessory to sin…

Purgatory must look and feel like the DMV on a busy day.

406 thrusts up, his final major attempt at escape, but I have him corralled. The effort robs him of what little air he has left, and I hear him sucking on the fabric of the pillow.

Just imagine all of those cells dying.

You don’t actually have to.

There are a few weak coughs, his final proclamations to the world, but 406 goes still. I wait a minute before checking his pulse, putting two fingers to the damp skin of his wrist. The deed is done. I remove the pillow from his face, avoiding staring into his now glassy, doll-like eyes, and slide it below his head, fluffing and adjusting it for him one final time.

He finally looks relaxed.

I pull back the privacy curtain and exit the room. I’ll soon have to deal with the aftermath of a patient “coding” but I’ll take that when it comes. A patient of his age, in his condition, it won’t stir much of a fuss. Cause of death? Complications; we don’t have time to do an autopsy on a guy who was knocking on death’s door. Ship him out and drop another body in the bed.

This is just how things are.

I walk into the hallway, narrowing as my eyes adjust to the light, and think about why I did what I did, and why any of us do what we do. I come to a quick conclusion.

Everything we do is a symptom of the same illness. Our shared diagnosis: Life. The truth we all try to hide from is the outcome. Our shared prognosis: Terminal.

[honeylikewords]

*rips through the fabric of time, space, and electronic screens, smooshing K's cheeks in my hands* *in deep, spoopy voice* D O I T. FEED ME THIS POTENTIAL TONY-NOMINATED PERFORMANCE. WHAT IS THE STORY BEHIND THESE SONG TITLES? WHAT HAPPENS? STAGE DIRECTIONS, COSTUMES, SONDHEIM OR WEBBER, EVERYTHING ELSE I LOVED ABOUT THEATER BEFORE MY COLLEGE SUCKED THE JOY OUT OF IT. *leans in and goes quiet* F E E D M E E E E E!!!... Please? 😃😇

replying in a tiny soft voice: iM GONNA DO IT

SONG PLOTS (IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE)

1. “Respect the Research”- performed by Eddie McCarthy. Costume: Yellow Hawaiian shirt and jeans, boots, etc. His character introduction song, essentially! It sets the scene, opening as him in his classroom berating the students to, as the title says, Respect The Research! His enthusiasm is displayed through his dancing, which is light on his feet but punctuated with incredibly loud, powerful STOMPS or him jumping with all his might on the stage, sending it rattling!

2. “Jewish and Tattooish”- performed by Eddie McCarthy. Costume: Yellow Hawaiian shirt and jeans, boots, etc. This song introduces the crux of Eddie’s problem: he’s an outcast. He gets a lot of odd looks as he walks down the hall, and he is lamenting all the things that make him such an outlier. He lists his tattoos and Judaism, his height, his appearance, his enthusiasm, and his curious passions and interests. He ducks into the library, and then-

3. “The Composer At Work” - performed by Eddie McCarthy. Costume: Yellow  Hawaiian shirt and jeans, boots, etc. This song is Eddie spying his lovely library lady for the first time and coming up with hundreds of poetic, romantic sentiments that run through his head, sending him spiralling. He is partially the “composer”, as he is composing these thoughts, but she is also a “composer”, as she is the muse and is shown to be working on a project of her own at the desk, composing art and bearing a resemblance to many paintings of composers labouring over their work, but another “composer” is fate, bringing these two together.

4. “Hush! This Is A Library” - performed by Eddie’s love interest, the librarian. Costume: a simple skirt and blouse, professional but unique in their color schemes. Where Eddie is yellow, she is blue. This song is her scolding Eddie after he accidentally yelled out the last word of his song (”HER!”), and she raises a finger to her lips and hushes him. But when she lays her eyes on him, her heart begins to race and she is trying to quiet it, hushing her own feelings and trying to keep them suppressed.

5. “Silent Love Letter”- performed by Eddie. Costume: Red shirt, blue jeans, boots. This song is set many weeks after their initial meeting, and Eddie is walking through the stacks, watching his librarian and writing out what he wants to say to her in his head. He thinks of all the things he loves about her, and tries to string his thoughts together into something that makes sense, but his words come up short- so he scraps the letter and thinks he can never tell her.

6. “A Song Between The Stacks”- performed by Eddie’s love interest. Costume: a pink dress and black cardigan, symbolizing her sensitive, loving heart being covered by fear. This song is her wandering through the shelves after closing and singing to herself about her growing love for Eddie, but her overwhelming anxiety that they can never be together. Eddie, however, is there, and overhears.

7. “Big, Loud, and Incredibly Dense” -performed by Eddie. Costume: Blue shirt and jeans, boots. This song is Eddie repeating everything he’s heard her say to herself, muttering to himself and trying to understand if what he thinks he heard is really what was said. Does she love him? He’s caught because makes too much noise and alerts her that he was listening, and she runs off, upset that she was spied on, and he berates himself for being too big, too loud, and incredibly dense.

8. “Wondering What He Saw”-performed by Eddie’s love interest. The same dress as before. She is panicked and hiding in a closet, asking herself what he knows and what he saw, and what he’ll do now that he knows how she feels.

9. “Thinking Out Loud (Because My Thoughts Are Too Big)”- performed by Eddie. Blue shirt, jeans, boots. He has found the closet and is telling his love bits and pieces of what he feels, but is still unable to make sense of everything and tell her, soundly, what he means. It’s highly stream of consciousness and he’s stumbling over himself. He accidentally says that she “upsets him” and makes him “worried”, which she interprets as he does not like her.

10. “In The Best Interest Of Our Livelihoods”- performed by Eddie’s love interest. She comes out of the closet and tells Eddie that, for the sake of their jobs, they should remain apart. They clearly don’t mesh and only cause one another distress, and she begins to cry as Eddie leaves.

11. “Hostess For The Heart”- performed by Eddie. Costume: grey pajama bottoms, a white t-shirt. Eddie is at home on his couch, sadly eating junk food because he’s sure he’s lost the only girl he’s ever been in love with.

12. “Louder Than Our Voices”- performed by both. They are each at home and talking to themselves, lamenting the loss of their love, and thinking that if only there was something louder than their voices to truly convey what they were feeling, since words fall so short of what they need.

13. “Grandfathered In”- performed by Eddie. Costume: Black button up, jeans, boots. Eddie has learned that his grandfather, a generally bitter, lonesome man has passed away, and is looking through family photographs, thinking of all the men in his life who were unkind and died without love. That is, until he sees a photograph of his great grandfather, the original Eddie, and sees the happy couple that his great grandfather and great grandmother made. He makes a decision.

14. “Recreating Shakespeare”- performed by both. Costume: Eddie is in full Shakespearian garb and has left a dress for his lovely lady in her office in the library, including instructions for to meet her “mystery lover”. She indulges, hoping it is Eddie, and follows his trail of clues as he leads her through their little world, recreating famous scenes from Shakespeare’s works.

15. “Could It Be? Is It He?”- performed by Eddie’s love. Costume: Shakespearian dress. She sings, knowing that all the clues grow more intimate, it has to be someone who knows her so well that they could write these notes for her. So, could it be?

16. “Apologies For What I Said/Didn’t Say”- performed by both. Costume: Shakespearian costuming! They sing to each other as they unite at the meeting spot, each explaining their words and choices, trying their best to say what they really mean, apologizing both for the ill-chosen words and the ill-chosen silences.

17. “Learn Something New Every Day”- performed by Eddie. Costume: same as prior! Eddie is talking about how he doesn’t want to live a life like the men that came before him, and he wants to keep learning about the woman he loves. He wants her to teach him, and it’s always been his life policy to keep learning, so he’d like to know if they can create-

18. “A Story All Our Own”- performed by both. Costume: same! They realize that they don’t have to abide by any of the rules that came before them, and they can be their own people; not their families’ descendants, nor Shakespeare’s lovers, or anyone else. Just each themselves, because that is who they are in love with. They live happily ever after.

END!

[maskedheromaskedchampion]

Magic Design History - Legendary Creatures

Hello everybody, we’ve finally reached 2017 and I have returned from a night of heavy drinking to dive into an aspect of Magic with you to discuss the history of it’s development. This installment will focus on an aspect near and dear to my heart and the larger purpose of this blog, Legendary Creatures!

This topic has a number of story points, in fact its probably more nuanced than I’m even choosing to outline. That said, this could be a long one!

In the Beginning…

In the beginning, there were no Legendary Creature (Legends for the sack of my fingers). Actually, there were no multicolored cards either. I guess that is kind of important for my story.

Then came Legends in June of 1994 as the third non-Core Set expansion. This set was designed mostly before the official release of Magic and brought about the idea of Legendary Creatures - specific people who existed in the world we were visiting. To highlight these characters - who by the way, many were based on the designers’ D&D campaigns - the choice to flip the script was made and they made as Magic’s first multicolored cards. Every one of them.

As a history lesson, I believe the Legend Rule started out being that if I had Dakkon Blackblade out any new copies of Dakkon Blackblade would immediately go to the graveyard when played, thus marooning all other copies in either players’ hands. Because, like, why bother casting a spell that was just going to the graveyard?

I feel this addition to Magic canon was hugely important. But I am biased as I participate in a format that is driven by the quality of Legendary. It is funny to think though that Gold cards were also introduced here and many players will never know realize that all Legends in Legends were Gold and all Gold cards were Legends.

Continuing Trends

Because Legends was an expansion existing before the official release of Alpha, that means that sets following it were aware of legends during their design. That meant that Legends became apart of every set, by my research. So the trend of kicking out a handful of Legends began and with the Legend Rule in its beginning state, it became a design tool to help control the power level of some cards deemed too powerful in multiples. This would be the design philosophy for Legends for the next three years.

I don’t know that anything remarkable happened in this era, this is a point in design that I often flip through in hopes of finding a creature worth building around for it’s color identity and abilities. I am often disappointed. As the next section’s influences begin to come into focus, some of the Legends designed before Tempest would get retrofitted into the story.

Introducing Story

As I stated before - and is terribly obvious - Legends are fabled people existing in the worlds we visit and some time around 1997 - with the release of Weatherlight and Tempest - the cards started introducing more story elements. This meant the Legends being printed began showcasing the characters of those stories. I think this was a great choice that pulled in or retained many of the community personalities we love that identify as a Vorthos.

The story that started it roots in Weatherlight ran through the next four blocks and culminated in the final set of the Invasion block, Apocalypse. Through out all of this, Legends like Mirri and Gerrard were being featured on cards to help showcase their place in the story. My one complaint during this era was that aside from a few characters like Ertai and Croax, we never saw more than one card appearance of characters, leaving the players with no sense of the character’s arc.

Everyone is Legendary

Around the tail end of 2004 Magic took a trip to the new plane of Kamigawa, a Japanese-Shinto inspired world that made the mistake of putting Creative before Design - making for an ill-received block - and now us Samurai enthusiasts must forever pay the price. This was also where the Legend Rule was retooled to make any copies beyond the first destroy all copies of a Legendary Permanent with the same name.

The giant flag waving over all of the Kamigawa block was that it was featuring Legendary Permanents in mass - 163 by my count. Suddenly everything was legendary, including the enchantments and lands and sort of the spells. I think this is real cool in concept, but in the 13 years since, I can see how it might have lessened the special nature of Legends in one way or another.

I personally loved this influx of Legends as a Commander player, because more than half were not linear to build with. The major set back was that Kamigawa was almost entirely mono colored and meaning we were never given allied/enemy paired Legends for any of the tribes used such as Samurai, Ninja, Foxes or Rats.

Thankfully, the following year - Ravnica block - also featured Legendary Creatures in high numbers - 20 in total - and brought about allied/enemy creatures that would also prove to be relatively open-ended once Commander gained popularity. This was an important block in Magic history, because it gave an identity to each of the two-color pairs, something that wasn’t defined until 2006.

Lastly, from a lore prospective, this era of Legends were a mixed bag of important to the stories being told in the novels and completely unmentioned.

Displaced Heroes

Capping off a prolonged period of Legends, Time Spiral block could be described as a nostalgia block. Occupying the space that I see Commander products slowly embracing more and more, the designers turned their attentions to defining the characters of early Magic in card form, sometimes being as fleeting as appearing in flavor text of one card. Thankfully we were not restricted mono colored creatures this time around.

This was another stage of design that I think had it’s ups and downs. Part of the nostalgia also meant making the creatures feel like cards from their respective ages of design. In some cases this made for really interesting designs, like Ib Halfheart or Jhoira of the Ghitu, but (to me) there was a large batch of confusing designs that were more in-jokes than anything, like Mangara of Corondor, Tivadar of Thorn or Endrek Sahr, Master Breeder.

While I think this was an important time in Magic design, I don’t look as fondly back on this time as I might Kamigawa or Ravnica. And while I would more than love another Time Spiral block, I think it’s more for the wink-nod designs of the cards filling the entire set than the Legends specifically. In my eyes, this was a weak point in design, as the Legends were often confusing, though not yet pandering.

The Rise of Commander

 Now we’ve reached Magic circa 2009, and the rise of Commander.

Fun fact: Commander was popularized in the 2008-2010 era, but its roots have been said to go as far back as a 1995 Duelist article, with the format being cultivated in 2001 [x]

As the 100-card singleton format began to take root in the general Magic community - and designers started designing towards it - the use of Legends evolved and their significance began to ramp up. Suddenly, the state of being legendary and the colors that creature occupied were a huge deal. In this era we also saw the Legend Rule change with Theros, now Legendary things only exploded if they occupied the same side of the battlefield.

The reasoning for this explosion in popularity, to me, comes from the release of Shards of Alara and the heavy influx of 3-color Legends, many of which were also well suited for themed decks or archetypes. My one gripe being that many of the Legends in Shards block were very linear. But Wizards heard the community’s love for the format and gave us Magic the Gathering: Commander in 2011, which took the number of wedge colored cards from a handful to double digits.

But that leads up to the final or better yet, most recent, point in the design of Legends…

The Fine Line

So now Wizards is going out of their way to design a product for us, becoming yearly in 2013. And with this attention towards Commander, I think two things began to come into focus:

1) The Commander community started complaining when a Legend didn’t work well in the format.

2) Wizards tried to give us what we asked for, but missed the mark.

Truthfully, both points have merits to both sides of the issue.

With the first point, Commander players got a bit of big head, Dragonlord Kolaghan probably being the best example in recent memory. Yes, Kolaghan is legend, sadly it doesn’t work well or at all in Commander.

We want cool legends, and it sucks when one of a cycle doesn’t fit into the Commander mold. But maybe it wasn’t designed for us. Or maybe just the being a Dragon part was.

The second issue more leans towards my hatred of being pandered to, I liked Kamigawa block because the Legends were never built with Commander in mind and thus, they worked as both build arounds and just unique creatures. With Wizards constructing creatures per our requests, it was nice, but there was a communication error that would occur (see Ulrich or the not-yet-confirmed lack of a UR legend that cares about artifacts in Aether Revolt).

And so, as much as I want to knock on @markrosewater‘s door and request specific things, it takes some of the fun out for me. Though, it does make the game I love feel more approachable.

The End…

Man, are you still here? Wow. Thanks.

So, we’ve just covered a solid 1000+ words on my thoughts about the design of Legendary Creatures across Magic’s history. I hope I educated and not just spouted my shallow thoughts, because this took a lot of research and several attempts on my part. What did I skip over that I could highlight in the future? Where would you like to see the series go in the future?

Either way, thanks for any feedback and I hope to catch you later!

[anothergirlrecovering]

Dietician day 7

Peggy called me back and I put my stuff down and we went to weigh. She was like I’m so happy you’re eating with me! I waslike oh well I brought the cheese it’s and she got super excited and I was like well I knew if I didn’t ring them you’d be pissed and she was like no but this is all about establishing new patterns with food! . When she was weighing me she said to hang on before stepping on it because it had to re-calibrate because it had been moved and she said that she has a teenager who likes to wander and I laughed and said that I may or may not have been one of those people who definitely with them selves in the dietitians room when I was in IOP and she was like and you probably got away with it because it was a group and I was like I definitely did. She explained that the kids mom worries about what she’s doing wandering the halls when they are discussing things and I said that makes sense and I asked her if she had any RFID kids and I explained my scenario with my kid and she didn’t actually really have any feedback that we talked briefly for a few minutes about how that diagnosis and particular is lacking research and we don’t really know what to do with it yet. So then she asked how my week was and I immediately started to cry and she handed me a tissue and I explained that this has been literally the worst week and a half that I’ve had in years and I started to ramble and talk about the fights with my husband and not really having any support and feeling really alone and isolated and my brother using Coke and my mom‘s comments about needing a flat stomach and my parents going to plant-based part of the time and how I’m perpetually afraid of my husband separating if I don’t go to treatment and how I am perpetually just super anxious. She listened to me about everything and wrote things down and said that she’s trying to take everything in and then she started talking about residential treatment and how there’s no shame in me going inpatient and she thinks it would be helpful for me to take a break from work in every day life stress and really focus on myself and getting better she said she didn’t realize that I worked at the treatment center and that there’s more to life than working there and I was like I just can’t disappear for a month and she was like yes you absolutely can that’s literally why they have FMLA is for emergency scenarios and I was like everyone would know where I went and she was like is that reality or is that your eating disorder talking I was like I think that’s reality everybody would know if I disappeared for months without my phone that it means that I got sick and went to treatment and she was like no it wouldn’t there’s 1 million other scenarios that could be a family member being L that you’re taking care of it to be a medical issue and she was at a few others that I hadn’t actually thought of but she was like nobody has to know what’s going on and with me working at the treatment center she was like if anything they’re going to want you to go get help and take care of yourself and not try to do this on your own and I was like then they’re not gonna want me to come back and she was like why not and I was like because Britney is super against people sharing their stuff and she was like well I think that’s bull crap and everybody has their stuff and she’s lying if she doesn’t and I was like I mean she definitely does but she’s not talking about it or open about it and they’re very much I don’t share your history type of place. She was like is that even somewhere that you want to be working and I think I just kind of stared at her blankly because I was like I don’t now I mean realistically like not long-term but it’s our only option in our area and then I started ugly crying and saying that if I went residential I’d be disappearing for a month and that would mean my parents would know because why else would I disappear for literally a month they would have questions I need answers and they can’t know I don’t even know that I’m struggling and she was like maybe they should know and then I started crying harder and I was like they didn’t care the first time around they’re not gonna care this time around they’ve never cared they’re not going to suddenly care about any of this and I can’t let them know what’s going on. It was a lot of crying. She asked about behaviors and I said that I had gone running once and that I had and specified the amount I was eating in two of my snacks because I knew it wasn’t really enough and I was anxious about it. I did tell her that I am starting the CBD oil and I will see how that goes if that helps with any of this. She had to remind me to eat twice and I eat my lunch while we talked. She said that My insurance would cover residential treatment and I was like I’m not a low enough weight for that and she was like they don’t just look at low weights I promise I’ve done this for a while and I know the criteria and at this point you’ve got plenty of things that go with the low weight like the obsessive thoughts and the significant body dysmorphia and the calorie counting. I explained that I was like sincerely convinced that I had been gaining weight and that my scale was broken because my look in the mirror it really looks like I have gained weight and she was like well you really haven’t because my scale says you haven’t gained anything and I was like I mean I guess if both of our skills are saying the same thing then it’s not broken it just feels really true even though I know that it’s not. I explained that I had always told myself that if I ever relapsed then I would change careers because if I couldn’t get my shit together by the third time than it meant that I didn’t need to be a therapist because obviously I was too mentally ill and of course then I was ugly crying again. I said how much I think I would hate group therapy and how I already know all of the skills that they are going over and not to be cocky but I have done treatment more than once I mean three times now and I’m a therapist so it’s not like I don’t know what I need to be doing I’m just sucking and doing any of them and she pointed out that there’s always things to learn and she still feels like a group aspect would be beneficial. I was eating my cheese it’s and having a hard time with him and I said it’s just so much freaking food and she was like ecause your body isn’t used to it. She said that it’s not actually a lot of food and that she notices that I 10 to 5 or load and eat more fruits and vegetables than anything else.i explained h fear of the hunger never going away and that i will just gained a bunch of weight and she was like I just don’t think that will happen and she said that that has literally never happened and all of her work over the years with people with eating disorders where she told him to start eating and they literally never going to this hyper overdrive where they gain a ton of weight above and beyond and she was like the only time that ever seems to be somewhat of an issue is when people are residential treatment. She said that her role is to monitor my way in and she will make sure that that isn’t happening for me and she was like and honestly I know that you monitor your weight too so if it was happening you would know. She was like are you still weighing yourself and I was like yeah and she was like just as much and I was like yeah and she was like so you knew that you weren’t gaining weight and I was like well yeah but that’s where the whole being convinced that my scale was broken was a problem and she was like OK. I said that honestly part of it also upset me this week was sort of realizing that I think being sick is starting to catch up with my body and I explained that it’s like my hands can never get warm and I’ve had chest pain and my hair is falling out and it just sort of feels like everything is spiraling out of control at once. I said that things are a lot harder with my husband because he keeps asking about am I eating my meals and I eating my snacks and she was like well I think that’s actually a pretty good support then because you have some more accountability and I was like I’d much prefer you be the accountability person and she was like I can’t be with you for every single meal and I was like I know that but it’s so much less anxiety provoking to tell you things than it is to tell him because there’s so much on the line with him and I’m perpetually afraid of ruining everything. She explained that she thinks I can do this and she said to expect a meeting with her thoughts are going to get a lot louder now because we aren’t just poking the bear but we are actually kicking the bear in the ass and I was like a piggy I thought you didn’t curse and she was like arse and then she laughed and said that she curses when she wants to be cursing and she knows that I like cursing and I was like you don’t have to curse for me and she was like I know but sometimes I like to do it anyway and it’s fitting and I said OK. She explain the concept of add-ons and said that I need to have at least two more add-ons to my meal plan because she thinks that my body is using everything. She mentioned ice cream as an ad on and I asked her if she knew about the Friendly’s ice cream sundae and she didn’t and I said that they were awesome and she was basically describing then add on’s or literally anything high calorie and dense and I was like OK and I mentioned Oreos and she was like yeah those are perfect and I said that my husband had bought some recently and she said to eat four or five and I was like so these add-ons are on top of my meal plan and she was like yeah and this doesn’t mean that you need to start skin being in other areas and I just kind of sat there anxiously and she was like OK? And I was like OK. She asked what I was thinking and I said just that I was glad my husband wasn’t there because I feel like the whole conversation would have made him want to push me to go inpatient. I asked her if she had changed any of my other exchanges and she pulled it back out and was like no I don’t think I did and she was like I don’t think that you’re hitting all of them but I don’t think that you’re necessarily trying to leave out any specifically and I was like well I total of the numbers every day and I know that I am perpetually tend to not get enough starches and not get enough fats and she was like yeah and I was like but I have been doing better with adding a fact my lunches and I explained that I have added a fat source all of my sandwiches when I pack my lunches during the week. She said that was great and she wanted to remind me that she’s not saying that I’m not making enough progress but that my body is just using a lot of what I’m putting in and so we need to really increase to give it more in order to restore. She pointed out that she knows that she has commented on recovery record about my fiber intake and she was like you didn’t comment back and I just kind of laughed because I was like well I didn’t know that I was expected to come in back but I mean she’s not wrong. She said still no exercise and remind her that I can do this. I just sort of stared at her blankly and she was like really you can. I said that I think part of what’s hard is with the meal exchanges I have a hard time prioritizing which exchanges need to be met and so when I look at it my priority is always my fruits and vegetables and I make sure that those ones are hit and everything else just kind of ends up being the leftovers and so she was like OK well we can fix that so she changed my exchange needs. I had also earlier asked about what a normal amount of food is going to be and she was like well we aren’t there yet and I was like I mean what is the food pyramid say and she was like we don’t really use that anymore we just use the my plate and I was like OK but even with that and she was like well really just individually depends on everybody and she kind of dodged the question but she is like for right now You don’t need many fruits and vegetables you need more of the starches in order to get to the healthy weight. She was like we can readjust those numbers later on and I was like well I’m scared that I’ll never be at a point where I can just re-adjust those numbers and live functioning and she was like well we will get there and we will adjust them as we need to but for now you don’t need so much fiber because that’s making you feel too full to eat the other more caloric dense foods. I said OK and she said to follow her back to the copy room where we made copies of my goals and my updated meal exchange plan. As she made the copies she looked at me funny and she was like I’m sorry I know this is so hard for you and I said it’s OK and she said you look like you’re about to cry and I was like it’s OK though and she was like I know but you really look like you’re about to cry and I was like because I might and I was like it’s OK I have therapy after this it’ll be fine I can go cry with her too and she was like I know it’s all really hard and it’s a lot and you’re doing the work and you’re doing great and we went back to her office with the copies and scheduled for next time. Also peggy called me amber again and part of me is just like what the heck.

[bishiglomper]

So since I'm just laying here in bed making myself ill with anxiety I thought I'd record my thoughts on some of the crap that is crossing my mind. Bear in mind I'm really not very eloquent. Also I don't consider myself smart enough to really carry on this sort of debate so this is just my stupid rambling.

I was just thinking about what was wrong with the world and how maybe we could make it better.

Like school.

Wtf does school do for us past, what, 5th grade? After we learn our basic readin', writin' and 'rithmatic, wtf good does it do us? Because it ain't life skills.

We're still stuck in a program designed for child labor and we put up with the stress of school only to leave it totally unprepared for the actual world. Even college where you study for certain fields. The studying is brutal and there's no promises you'll even be putting those hard earned degrees to use..

The generations are just putting out more stressed and depressed kids who can hardly function.

I mean, of course it would help if the rich white bastards running this country would quit being so greedy and actually give a shit about us, but I digress.

I think our education system needs to be rebooted from scratch.

We've got preschool and kindergarten right? That should be for making friends and learning about colors and shit. Playing games. Lots of recess. Learning to tie shoes. Work on those developing motor skills. Manners.

It should also be teaching kids to ask questions, to pique their little minds and get them interested in the world. Have mandatory water/sand tables. Puzzles. Kiddie science and art and crafts that start them on the path of "How's this work?" which in turn could teach them life lessons like what happens if you're mean or rude vs being polite and friendly because results would differ.

also the structure would change. Like time spent at a desk would only be for crafts or something because kids should be up and moving around. Say you had story time. You'd do that for 20 minutes on the floor and then 10 minutes to get wiggles out and then you could sit them down and have their focus again. where you could demonstrate and then send them on their way to a certain activity.

And all that would spill into elementary but maybe a little more refined. They would be at desks but up to 5th grade they should have 2 recesses with a couple of 15 minute breaks between classes/lessons. Maybe a "get up and exercise" break in the morning and a "quiet/reading" time in the afternoon. And I just mean if they still fill up 7 hours of school. Which they could cut down by a couple of hours I'm sure.

And middle school is where kids should start on more complicated life skills. Starting more sophisticated book reports and proper grammar, more math and the like.

Science around then covers things like photosynthesis and such right? That's all good still, but if they're going to be teaching the different types of rock, at least teach us why we would need to know this shit. Even if it's as simple as "this is weak, this is stronger, this is where THAT comes from and these are the uses for it". I mean all this shit is for is to test our memory and wtf else.

I think humans are prewired to WANT to learn, but the never-ending droning system sucks all the joy out of it while we're forced to sit still and absorb all that boring stuff, not even bothering to question why at this point.

And history. I think by the time you reach high school you could fit in all the basics between the wars and general stories of the more prominent figures in history.

But high school is what needs to change the most. Because the second we leave high school we're expected to have the skills we need to survive in the world.

Do they teach is how to get a job? No. Do they teach us how to care for ourselves? No. But we leave knowing that mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.

First of all they need to bring back home economics. Where kids could learn how to cook a simple meal. Learn why you need to suck it up and eat a vegetable and how to boil an egg. Learn how and when to plant things. Learn how to fix a button or a ripped seam. Learn how to store and use household chemicals because there's a shitton of things that if mix with bleach, you're dead.

We had a health class but aside from learning how to label our organs in detail and how arteries work, there was no teaching us how to care for our health.

ALSO MENTAL👏 FUCKING👏 HEALTH👏 SHOULD👏 BE👏 IN👏 THE👏 CURRICULUM👏

We should be taught healthy coping skills! If mental health were mandatory, people would be made aware of things like depression and maybe be able to recognise and get help. At the very least it could be brought up amongst peers without so much stigma and maybe even cut down bullying in the process.

Because the second a mental health lesson becomes an open forum, you know bullying red flags would be brought to light and picked apart. It would bring peers together so that the next time they see someone spiraling or getting attacked, they'll recognize it and have an idea of how to deal with it.

Because we have to take care of eachother. You know the phrase "it takes a village to raise a child?" same goes for a society. We have to be conscientious of each other and build each other up. Work together. Right now it feels like we're struggling alone in every sort of way but a functioning society relies on eachother.

We need more classes following the home-ec line. Maybe a semester of Carpeting. Learn how to fix a stair or a door. Maybe have a group make a large piece of furniture like a cabinet or a dresser.

TEACH US HOW TO KEEP A CAR IN SHAPE. JFC we need to put A.C. shit in the car but I don't know where to hook up the spray nozzle!

We need to know how to change a battery, tire, windshield wipers, change oil, and be taught what to do when certain things go wrong LIKE THE CAR CATCHING ON FIRE.

And we need to be taught basic house maintenance too. How to turn off the water or how to change a breaker. Learn what things need to be kept maintained and what can be ignored for a bit.

Our last freezer almost died because the fridge didn't have a good seal. Moisture got in and frosted over the mechanism in the freezer.

We spent a lot of money just for a guy to hold a hair dryer to it.

Seriously. Also a hot glue gun sealed the door whereas a new seal would have been hundreds of dollars.

In math we need to be taught how to write checks, do bills and make a budget. What are stocks? How does commerce work? I don't fuckin' know.

ALSO. COMPUTERS. I don't just mean typing, we should keep that yeah, but things like installing software and hardware and learning to navigate several types of operating systems. Learn how to replace a fan or something. Learn all those googling and research tricks.

OH AND LANGUAGES. I think everyone should take at least an introductory program on Spanish (or whatever secondary language is in the area) Like in D.C there were lots of Koreans and Arabic people.

Also freaking AMERICAN SIGN LANGUAGE. AT LEAST AN INTRODUCTION. jfc it's got American in the name and it's hardly offered. There may not be a whole lot of deaf people but it would be hella fuckin' useful in other settings as well. The military? Factories and other loud places? Places where you have to be QUIET. The possibilies are endless why the fuck aren't we utilizing this?

High school needs to teach us life skills. Ones that we need the second we're on our own.

College should be specifically for the careers we go into. Even if that means a few extra classes to get caught up in math, science or history.

And in High school you know what would be cool? Extra credit for shit like after-school jobs or activities. Actually acknowledging kids getting out and starting to put those skills to use.

Just imagine a student working a part time job at a theatre or something. Where they could take a form to their employer and they could review them after a period of time and show their teachers. Note anything special that they may have brought to the table.

Because maybe this would help employers see what each individual is capable of and where they excel. Maybe the student finds out "hey I'm good at this thing" or "I learned how to do a helpful thing because it was related to a thing I already learned" and it would in turn inspire the students to explore and learn even more.

Because everything else is changing in the world and if we don't change our structures with it, it's all going to come crashing down around us.