#it's missing a bunch of newer threads

[lostintransist]

Seamstress | Part 3

Check out part 1 here. AO3

Simon noticed first. Some of his pants, he only had five pairs he rotated between, had gone missing from the laundry. Not terribly unusual, things get mixed up all the time. But when they reappeared worn spots had been patched, his pockets had been fixed, and all the little annoying seams that didn’t lay flat had been tacked down.

Kyle put a hole in the armpit of his favorite shirt, it went missing the next day and reappeared better than before. Roach lost many of his hats to the laundry, but within a week they all reappeared, cleaner and fixed. It wasn’t until Johnny couldn’t find his favorite pair of pants, his lucky pants that he couldn’t take on a mission because they were missing, that they started to talk to each other about the matter.

John called them a bunch of muppets, rolled his eyes, and walked away when the conversation started up about their laundry going missing. First, they examined the schedule for any overlap of their clothes being put into the laundry and their clothes going missing. Nothing stands out, most of the people serving in the laundry are there on assignment and rotate out before clothes are returned.

With this avenue exhausted the guys sit around thinking, pondering.

“What if they aren’t getting picked up by the laundry?” Roach slowly voices his question, as if putting it together only as the words leave his mouth.

Simon picks up the thread next.

“Who has access to our rooms? Laundry obviously, but we have ruled them out. Who else?”

“Base commanders, cleaning staff, Price. I can’t think of anyone else,” Soap shifts, stretching the toe of his boot to sit against Ghost’s.

“Has anyone looked into where Price has been going when he is in late some mornings?” Gaz squints as he thinks.

“Now there’s a thought,” Ghost tilts his head to one side. “Question becomes, do we access his bank account or follow him?”

They all looked at him, waiting for his decision.

“Price guards his phone harder than nuclear codes, I vote we follow him,” Roach chimes in.

“Good point. Anyone have a requisitioned tracker we could tag him or his car with?” Ghost looks over each of his men.

Soap, and Roach both shake their heads. Gaz scrunches his nose and then sighs.

“I want it back when this is over. It was a hard one to get my hands on.”

Ghost nods, accepting the responsibility to get it back to him. They tagged Price’s car that same day. Waiting for any of their clothes to go missing they watched the tracker. Johnny got a tad impatient and ended up ripping off a belt loop off when it got caught on a door handle instead of walking back and getting unstuck. He made a big deal of it too.

“Christ on a cracker,” he growled at the annoyance. Johnny, being a smooth operator, made sure John saw it before he turned in for the night.

Sure enough, the next night the pants were missing from the laundry. Johnny checked the laundry room for them before confirming to the guys that John had taken the bait. The tracker placed John near the manufacturing district in a designated parking lot, but nothing specific.

Johnny’s pants reappeared, clean, the next day with the regular laundry delivery. But they had a starting point. Roach scoured the internet for any business that might fix clothes but found nothing within walking distance. Must be an unlisted or newer business they figured. The following morning, they all skived off morning training that, while encouraged, was not mandatory.

Parking in the same lot that John had the guys split up. Each man took one side of the street and started down a direction eyes scouring each storefront and entrance until Ghost sent out a shrill whistle. Barely checking for cars the men darted for their L.T. who stood in front of a small shop squished between a cobbler and a bakery. The front window simply read ‘Seamstress’.

🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡

You sang along to Disney music this morning. It seemed fitting, as you were stitching together a party dress for a small princess. Her birthday was coming, and she wanted a purple princess dress like Rapunzel but big like Cinderella. Gotta hand it to the kid, that made it easy to design with her dad. This would be the second version she stitched up. The first one fit, until kiddo woke up one morning an inch taller.

When the shop bell dinged you reached around your sewing machine to lower the volume of your music.

“One moment!” You called over the sound of the small engine working loudly. You remembered it was about time for a tune-up on the old thing.

The stitches completed you turn and stand. Four men of varying sizes and heights stand at your counter. Two of them are pretty, no other word for it, and the other two are covered up than some of your niqab-wearing customers.

“Hi, what can I help you with?”

One of the pretty ones, with a mohawk, spoke for the group.

“We were wondering if you could tell us what you do here.”

Leaning to one side you confirmed that your sign still clung to the window in paint. Standing straight again you cocked an eyebrow at the man.

“Pretty sure I’m a seamstress, window says so.”

The tall covered one snorts.

Mohawk sends a glare back at his companion.

“What does that mean? What do you do exactly?” The shorter covered one asks.

“Seamstresses typically create clothes, though I do a lot of repairs too. Why? Are any of you needing repairs done? I can work on suits however I would recommend you out to a local tailor for that, suits are something they specialize in.”

You weren’t nervous. They all had a deadly energy about them, but it wasn’t directed at you.

“How much for a kilt repair?” Mohawk asked, confirming the placement of the accent.

“That would depend on the damage and the cost of the cleaning. Any articles that stay with me overnight get sent to a dry cleaner, it’s built into the charge.”

Waking your tablet you pull up pricing.

“Restoration will run you more than run-of-the-mill repairs, but with the repairs, the kilt will be stored in acid-free paper to keep it from deteriorating.” Glancing up once again you find every pair of eyes on you.

You were starting to regret the lack of a panic button in your shop.

The other pretty one spoke up now.

“Can you tell us if a certain customer has been here? A John Price for example?”

“I am not in the habit of sharing my customer’s habits, no.”

Both pretty men lifted a brow.

“If I show you a picture, would you tell us if you’ve seen this man then, without confirming if he is a customer?” The tallest one asked.

“I think you should leave. Though feel free to call for a recommendation for a seamstress if you need any work done,” you give them your pretty, I’m a weak woman and don’t yell at me smile.

The breath between your words ending and their bodies moving drags into eternity. When their bodies edged through the door and down the sidewalk a way you flicked the lock shut on the front door.

🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡🪡

“You have one new message.” The robotic voice droned at John. “First new message: Hi John, this is the owner of Your Local Seamstress calling. I have your repairs completed, feel free to come and pick them up during business hours, six am to one pm or four pm to seven pm Tuesday through Saturday.”

A lingering pause, John can tell the message hasn’t ended.

“I did want to mention I had a…weird interaction today with a group of men looking for you. Two pretty men and two men covered tip to toe, asked for you by name. Not sure if you might know who they are but I figured I would pass along the information. Please feel free to give me a call if you have any questions.” She gave the shop number as if he didn’t have it memorized at this point.

“To replay this message press one, to delete press seven, to save press nine, for more options press six.” The robot is speaking to him again.

Slamming his thumb into the end call button John missed corded phones and the satisfaction of slamming the phone into the cradle. His muppets had scared his girl.

Part 2 | Part 4

Masterlist

[sparkbirdmusic]

I'm obsessed with just how FULL your music sounds. I've missed a handful of releases and finally have time to catch up, and it's a wonderful thing to return to. Your music has so much pleasant movement and so many instruments (I mean, of course, chamber pop).

I don't really know much about how composing music goes, so this may be a misguided question, but when you're starting on a new song: does it sound somewhat like that in your head and make the process an exercise of making all of those threads work together in practice or do you start with the melody and then continually add pieces later to fill in the rest?

Thanks for reading. Gonna go keep enjoying the newer releases :]

I’ve always written just for piano and vocals at first, and when those are finished it’s already everything I’d want for a solo performance of the song

then for a demo or studio version, it’s a matter of adding layers, usually starting with bass and percussion, then building things out from there…

for many songs, I’ve put together a bunch of my ideas for an arrangement, and for others I’ve handed them off to the producer or arranger I work with. often I give them some reference tracks, a few songs to show what I’m envisioning (if I have something specific in mind)

but it’s also exciting just to let them cook, and see what they bring to the song. it’s fun to have it evolve like that, because other people will hear possibilities you never would have thought of

[brckensociety]

hi my lovely people! so as i plan on getting back into threads this coming week and i decided to drop a bunch of threads as right now i am craving newer threads. as usual, if you want new threads with the same muses or different ones just reach out! (i have 14 threads i am keeping so if yours is missing from the list it’ll be in the draft count, if it’s not please lmk).

@barkskins - sage & forrest/maison &. liesel

@windsofdestinatixxxn - salem & marcus/arachne & baturiel

@cfthesoul - paxton & nate/velvet & carter/diesel & kendall/ april riley & stu/luna & rafe/billy loomis & allie

@ruinedsoulsrp - april riley & brock/diesel & brooke/warner & kim/juliette & tony/frankie &jim/hazard&liz/damian & annie/emery & nick

@angelsdvsts - peach & henry/hazard & chasity/stevie roberts & jaxson/caden & adelia/clementia & lance/xavier & ainsley/cricket & lucas/griffin orth & naomi/tove mckenzie & zach/damian & ivorie/kaeya & shayla/clove & alexander

[marabarl-and-marlbara]

hi mara!! i hope im asking this OK. i’ve been reading through your posts and i noticed you like a lot of vintage/early 2000s anime, so I was wondering if you watch newer stuff at all? i’m curious to hear your preferences!

hi anonymous; i feel like i:m mostly only ever posting about new anime on my twitter -- although even on here i advertise the 2019 boogiepop series; but lately i caught up on under ninja (really like this, reminds me of a sleepier kokkoku x a sleepier akiba maid war), i watched all of the 100 zombie something show (forget the name of it but it went on hiatus and never resumed, was alright, hated the first episode though); finished blue eye samurai a few days ago (before the hospital trip, i think? really loved it, though i:m not sure if it really counts as anime -- but this one was a sleeper good show for me because of how generic it looked/sounded, but it was sort-of like death frenzy/shigurui crossed with kill bill, but using a disney/pixar plot structure); mentioned akiba maid war, that one is a favorite, probably one of the most satisfying conclusions of anything i:ve watched; i was posting about mahou shoujo magical destroyers pretty often, and i liked it, but it:s also not a good show what-so-ever and i:d never recommend anyone watch it (but the OP/ED is great; the problem it has is it:s sort-of like "insane ambition but zero capability to actualize it"; you can watch the first 2 episodes, then skip to the last 2/3 episodes and miss nothing, and it:d probably be a better experience for it); really liked wonder egg priority; watched a few episodes of the anxiety band show but dropped it, entirely just due to how often i:d see posts about it; really like all of the new baki seasons; liked the cyberpunk anime a-bunch; dropped summertime rendering but liked what i watched, just bored; dropped spy family, liked it but dropped it cause i was bored; dropped chainsaw man, liked it but was bored; lycoris, watched, liked, dropped, bored; heavenly delusion, watched, liked, dropped, bored; etc, etc;

been wanting to watch the new rurouni kenshin series but sort-of maybe more interested in just re-watching the old one for nostalgia; generally how i find stuff to watch is every few weeks i look at /a/ and if i see a thread where some anonymous sounds really passionate about some show, i:ll watch it, cause i like reading about someone elses passion and feeling some of their excitement second-hand (maid war, boy:s abyss, magical destroyers, wonder egg, & kenshin omega/ashura were this for me -- the airing/releasing threads for these shows just were so much fun) -- or like infinite ryvius, a person i followed on twitter just was gushing about it and it made me so interested;

out of everything listed akiba maid war is the only one i:d press people to watch because i think it:s really special but got overlooked by the anxiety band show (admittedly i think akiba maid war "is best experienced" watching on a week-to-week release basis because it:s sort-of episodic in the center, but the high points are just so high);

anyways take care, anonymous; got this card while farming in RO and liked the art

[fluentmoviequoter]

Oh, lord, don't even get me started on the whole Luca thing. It made literally no sense and they went against so many things they established in canon in earlier seasons.

The biggest part of SWAT's story was Luca/Street bromance. They literally lived together for better part of the show, had a really sweet brotherly dynamic, always there for each other no matter what. You know what we got from the hospital scene? Nothing. Not even so much of a word about where Street was, maybe an excuse why he couldn't make it which while it still would've been lazy writing, it would mean they at least considered the relationships and important people in Luca's life. Which they obviously didn't. Same goes for Chris. Like, we had newer people there waiting in the hospital, but not the likes of Mumford, Rocker, Stevens, other men Luca's been serving with for SO long! Also, no mention of his dad, mom, sister, brother. Nothing!!

I mean I have grievences with how he got shot too bc I feel like it was a cheap cop out for writing out his character in a way that would least anger the public while still somewhat making sense storywise. But, come on... He has been on SWAT for how long? And you're telling me he'd be reckless enough to risk his life going after three heavily armed suspects without backup, gear, anything WITH KELLY right there???

And then the whole thing post-hospital is also a huge question mark. The pacing was so weird, the dialogue felt off... Then his last call and some of the most important people in his career and life are once again missing (I mean, really, not even a cameo?!).

All in all, so many weird decisions and once again, so many better ways they could've gone about this if they had just considered the season as a whole rather than ep by ep. Because that's what this season feels like - bunch of standalone eps tied in together with a paper clip. A plastic one, at that.

I hope they get better writers for s8 or at the very least the ones that don't seem to hate the show and characters with burning passion bc this is 🥴🥴🥴 And much hate to whoever okayed promoting this season with Alex and Kenny being credited as "recurring" instead of what it really was "guest starring". For s8 celebration we should get them a dictionary and circle those words so that they can learn what they mean since they clearly don't.

~🧡

Um??... Woof. (But I love your explanations and reading your thoughts so much!)

Of all the things they could have done for Luca's send-off, they chose that half-baked, poorly written, hot mess of a story??? WHY? And we know Alex was on set for other episodes, so they seriously have no excuse for leaving Street out of his best friend's ending!!!

Did they think that the fans would just ignore the fact that Luca acted completely out of character in the situation leading to the shooting, and that all of his closest friends and comrades weren't there for him? I mean, I know they hate us and him (clearly), but apparently they also take us for fools. You're spot-on in saying that they didn't put any effort into writing his final episodes; in a season of exposition explanations, we didn't even get one for Luca!!

The pacing and the dialogue is what I've heard the most complaints about! "A bunch of standalone eps tied in together with a paper clip. A plastic one, at that" is the most perfect description!!! Even just reading the synopsis of each episode, I've been wondering if the episodes were coherent or connected in any way, like a television series should be, and it sounds like they're not. Since the season was shorter after the un-cancellation, I think they just threw a bunch of ideas into a hat and pulled one for each episode rather than trying to create an underlying thread that could run through all 13 episodes.

Okay, the situation isn't funny, but your last line made me laugh so hard!! One of my favorite things (for some reason) is come up with fake dialogue for the S.W.A.T. writers - what I think they say at the writing table, so I can whole-heartedly agree with your idea to get them and the marketing people a dictionary and explain the difference between "recurring" and "guest starring"! Like you said, getting new writers seems like the only hope for the show. If the show reads a bit different, that would honestly be fine, as long as the writers treated the characters like they deserve and create a show again, not a mod-podged pile of underdeveloped scenes that ignore everything previous seasons have established!

"Hey, guys, what if we take a beloved character, shoot him in front of Kelly because he ran in without thought, and then just rush through his recovery to send him off into the sunset?" In my mind, the S.W.A.T. writers sound like the pilots from the first scene in the Lego Batman Movie.

[hydrus]

Version 569

windows

zip

exe

macOS

app

linux

tar.zst

I had a good week mostly fixing small things.

full changelog

highlights

I fixed some issues with last week's URL improvements. It is mostly advanced stuff, so if you are a downloader maker, please check the changelog.

For regular users who download from certain sites that can produce multiple files from one post (I am told that Pixiv was not affected, but Inkbunny was), I am afraid I made a stupid mistake that meant only the first file of those posts was being downloaded. This is now fixed, so if this affected you and you have a bunch of subscriptions, let's fix it: once you are in v569, load your subscriptions up and sort their queries by 'last check time'. Select what has run in the last week, copy the query texts, and then paste them into a new gallery search page with the file limit set to something like 50. Your client will go over what was missed and fill in any gaps.

I harmonised some search logic related to 'system:duration = 0', '<1', '!=0', and other variants around the zero edge case, for duration and the other simple predicates I updated a while ago. When I first wrote this, I tried to thread a needle of logic where in some cases it would return files with no duration and sometimes it would not, but it all ended up a mess, so, from now on, searching for any simple quantity that would include '0' will now include any file that has no value for that property. (e.g. an mp3 has no width, so now system:width < 200 will include mp3s).

If you are a Linux user who uses a hydrus.desktop file, check the changelog! You'll probably want to rename it, and it might even fix your program icon.

I fixed the 'remember last used default tag service in manage tag dialogs' checkbox and dropdown in options->search. It wasn't saving right, sorry for the trouble!

future build

I have a new 'Future Build' ready. This is a build the same as the one above, but it uses newer python and libraries. We do not know if those libraries cause any dll conflicts on any OSes, so if you are an advanced user and would like to help me test it, please check out this link:

next week

More small jobs. If I can, I'd like to focus on some UI quality of life.

[hiighwarlock]

           Hello Friends! I know I’ve been somewhat missing in action on here lately, in that my replies have been spotty (and slow) and I’m spending almost zero time on the actual dash. I’m just really trying to keep my mental health in a positive place, and some days I only have so many spoons to go around. I’m so very sorry for making any of my writing partners wait on me, and for disappearing on you all with little explanation. 

          In following a few other writers’ leads, I’ve made the decision to archive a selection of threads on this blog. This isn’t because I don’t enjoy the stories we have written together, or that I don’t want to continue to write with all of you, it’s just to let me clear my palate a little bit and look towards future threads without the burden of such a backlog hanging over my head. If your thread is on the list and you feel passionately about continuing it, then do please message me! I am more than happy to keep something going if I know it means alot to you! 

Threads to be Archived:

@enigmatii​ 

chat with Alec

“Straddling a Shadowhunter”

@songbard​

chat with Jaskier

@worldshq

Chat with Simon

@takeseffort​

Chatting in the Field w/Alec

Intimacy Meme

@runesanddeath​

Meme Starter (Does this one have a reply? I’m not sure)

Chatting in the Club w/Jace (I think this was already archived)

@deadlcrd​

Chat with Hades

@magiciitself​

Chat with Merlin

@familiaanteomnia​

Wounded Chat with Clary

@avastuniverse​​

Married Fluff chat w/ Alec

Meme Chat w/ Merlin

@liveslost​

“Bae’s First Pride”

(P.S. this was actually quite difficult to do because I love pretty much all of these threads! I didn’t cull nearly as many as I probably should have, oops. There are still a massive number of drafts I need to work through, so have patience with me, please!)

Much Love,

Spirit

[terramythos]

TerraMythos 2021 Reading Challenge - Book 17 of 26

Title: The Other Wind (Earthsea Cycle #6) (2001)

Author: Ursula K. Le Guin

Genre/Tags: Fantasy, Third-Person, Female Protagonist (Kinda)

Rating: 5/10

Date Began: 7/8/2021

Date Finished: 7/12/2021

The sorcerer Alder is haunted by a recurring dream. Every night he stands at the border of the afterlife, and the dead call to him from the other side, begging him to free them. Fearing that he may unleash evil upon the world, Alder seeks out Ged, a living man who once escaped the land of the dead. Alder finds himself central to a vast mystery; the origin of the afterlife and how it relates to mankind’s ancient connection to the dragons.

“I think,” Tehanu said in her soft, strange voice, “That when I die, I can breathe back the breath that made me live. I can give back to the world all I didn’t do. All that I might have been and couldn’t be. All the choices I didn’t make. All the things I lost and spent and wasted. I can give them back to the world. To the lives that haven’t been lived yet. That will be my gift back to the world that gave me the life I did live, the love I loved, the breath I breathed." 

Content warnings and spoilers below the cut.  

Content warnings for the book: Death, suicidal ideation, references to child abuse, reference to misogyny, mentioned animal death, mention of slavery.

Man oh man do I wish I enjoyed this book more. It’s not horrible, and there’s stuff I liked, but I found it really hard to get through at times. The Other Wind feels different than anything else in the Earthsea series— to its detriment. There are three main issues I have with the book, all of which I’ll get into.  But ultimately I consider it a mediocre conclusion to an otherwise great series. 

First, this book has unusual pacing. The Earthsea books are generally slow, with a gradual buildup and gratifying conclusion that ties the themes of the story together. The Other Wind is more like a reverse bell curve; it has a great beginning and finale, but the middle meanders and stalls. The novel is split into five chapters, roughly the same length, and the middle three are a slog. There’s the barest whisper of an interesting plot, but not a lot happens— and what does happen isn’t very compelling.

The closest thing to a story in the middle is a subplot involving Seserakh, a Kargish princess. She’s sent to King Lebannen’s court with the expectation he’ll marry her to secure an alliance. A stock idea to be sure, but I can see how it might provide political intrigue. But it’s just aggravating. Tenar is in this storyline for some reason, and she feels contradictory and out of character. She wants to live a simple life and leave palace politics behind— but she also wants to push the literal king into a marriage he doesn’t want. Lebannen gets framed as The Absolute Worst because he (1) doesn’t want to get married to a woman he’s never met, and (2) is distracted by other stuff. There’s an implication that the match is a great choice, yet Seserakh and Lebannen don’t have a conversation until near the end. Of course Lebannen falls madly in love with her the moment they talk. No need to… develop their relationship? Normally I can gloss over a weak subplot, but since so little happens in the middle, that’s impossible here. It’s irrelevant to the main story, so it’s a shame Le Guin spent so much time on it. 

There’s a lot of talking in this book, but little action. Dialogue-heavy characterization isn’t necessarily bad. Le Guin is usually great at that kind of writing. But here, it emphasizes my second problem with the book: there’s too many major characters. Previous books focused on 1 or 2 people, allowing for intimate connection and character growth. LeGuin clearly tries for that here, but there’s so many people and relationships that everyone is underdeveloped. Perhaps this would come off better with a single perspective character, but Le Guin instead chose a shifting POV between 5+ characters. An alternating POV isn’t inherently bad, but it wasn’t a good fit for such a short book. I found myself wishing for focus on Alder (the protagonist!), who’s a genuinely compelling character. Alas. 

My third problem with The Other Wind is exposition. This book resolves several plot threads from previous entries. Obviously, there needs to be some context from the series to tie everything together. But the sheer amount of recap is unreal. So many scenes boil down to a character explaining something that happened to them in a previous book, then connecting it to the current plot. It’s not subtle and sometimes happens with the same event multiple times. It genuinely feels like Le Guin didn’t trust the reader to infer ANYTHING on their own. Having just read the rest of the series, this was especially irritating. I can cut a little slack here; this series began in 1968, and perhaps some returning 2001 readers wouldn’t recall key events. But regardless, The Other Wind is one of the most over-explained things I’ve read in a long time. It’s especially odd because the previous books aren’t like this.

There are things I genuinely like about The Other Wind. On a prose level, Le Guin's a great writer. Even the plotless parts of the book are full of interesting writing choices and philosophical observations. One nice thing about Earthsea is the characters age over the course of the series. Ged started A Wizard of Earthsea as a young boy, but as of The Other Wind is a seventy-year-old man. It’s cool to sit back and see just how much each character developed over time. Earthsea itself changed with them; each book’s events have serious repercussions for the world as a whole. And this book has the most significant change of all. 

When the The Other Wind’s plot is relevant, it’s one of the most interesting in the series. I think it’s a fascinating way to tie up two disparate plot threads. As much as I love The Farthest Shore, it does present a glaring conundrum regarding Earthsea’s core themes. True immortality is only obtained through death— not because of an afterlife, but because the dead become one with the rest of the world. So why does the Archipelago have an afterlife at all? Why is it so bleak and depressing? Why are there no plants, animals, or dragons there? Speaking of, there’s the revelation that dragons and humans were once the same species. Tehanu introduced this idea with various folktales, and the eventual reveal that Tehanu/Therru is a dragon. This idea is newer to the series and thus more malleable, but I like the idea of an entity being two creatures at once, and the mystery behind that.

I think the integration of these two ideas is interesting. Dragons and humans were once the same, but decided to split into two species to pursue different goals. They formed an ancient bargain to rule different aspects of the world. Fire and air represent the dragons’ realm, freedom— and water and earth represent the humans’ realm, ownership. But some humans learned magic and broke that covenant, binding everything to its true name. This established a form of freedom— immortality via one’s name. The afterlife is a result of that; it shouldn’t exist, which is why it feels wrong. Everything links back to the desire for immortality without change as introduced in The Farthest Shore. On a meta level it’s weird that none of this came up in that book; the explanation that dragons suddenly remembered this great wrong is a little retcon-y. But I understand Le Guin probably never intended to expand on these ideas, and it’s nice to see the contradiction of Earthsea’s afterlife resolved in the end. I went into this book expecting the titular “other wind” to be the other side of Earthsea, not another plane of existence; and I think that surprise is pretty cool! I like the metaphysical aspect of this other realm and how it connects to the  dragons. 

Even though I didn’t love the book, I do think it works as a series conclusion more than Tehanu did. Tehanu drops such a huge, unresolved bombshell in its ending that I’m surprised Le Guin intended it to be the final book of the series. The Other Wind does create some open-ended mysteries, but they’re the kind that don’t need a resolution. 

Despite that, I find myself wondering if this book was necessary. The Other Wind ties together some threads, but I wasn’t a fan of the execution overall. If the dragon and afterlife plot was a heavier focus, maybe I’d like the book more. Instead there’s a bunch of filler and extraneous detail. The book feels forced, like a novella stretched into a full novel— yet also like something’s missing. Perhaps The Other Wind works better on a reread, but I’m inclined to skip it in the future.

[bulgariansumo]

The Messy Relationship Between Sonic and Localization

Ask any Sonic fan and they’ll tell you that the fandom is one of the most fractured things to ever exist. It’s a miracle whenever we can all agree, and that usually comes from us collectively hating something (Sonic Movie’s original design, Ken Penders, etc.)--and even then, there’s a dedicated few who disagree. Many of us have such differing opinions on what the series “should” be, that satisfying all--or even a majority--of Sonic fans is next to impossible. How did it get this way? I think it has a lot to do with localization.

Classic Era

The 1990’s wasn’t the best decade when it came to localizing anything, especially not video games. Often, some creative liberties would be taken when adapting a source from Japanese to English.  The Sonic franchise was no exception to this. The first split comes from the game manuals. Me and @rontufox​ already made a post discussing this, but the Japanese manuals gave a little background info on the series’ lore and worldbuilding. The English versions gave a bare-bones description of the premise of each game, but that’s about it. There were no mentions of an apocalypse caused by people misusing the Chaos Emeralds, of Sonic finding the ring that would foreshadow Knuckles Chaotix, or of Knuckles thinking the Death Egg was a ‘Dragon’s Egg’ described in ancient legends. Sonic went to a bunch of colorful zones, beat up Dr. Robotnik, collected some magic stones, and maybe a new character or two would tag along, but there was nothing else to it. There was no dialogue and few cutscenes in the games at this time, so the English localizers could get away with this.

Since there wasn’t much to go on games-wise, English fans at the time got their perception of Sonic and his world from various comic and cartoon adaptations. The American-produced ones portrayed Sonic as an in-your-face smart aleck who was almost completely full of himself. The UK-produced Sonic the Comic starred Sonic as a self-described “cool guy” who cared little about the people around him, including friends. Whatever worldbuilding these adaptations had either didn’t exist or diverged completely from the games, because the writers, even if they did care, didn’t have much to go on. There also weren’t a lot of Japanese Sonic adaptations at the time, and the only one that got localized was Sonic the Hedgehog: The Movie (aka Sonic OVA). To English-speaking fans, Sonic was an arrogant but funny hedgehog who despite everything, got the job done. Aside from Dr. Robotnik, other characters were an afterthought and could be replaced as needed.  

Adventure Era

Sonic Adventure released in 1998 with fully voice-acted cutscenes, and localization differences started catching up. Some things were easy to fix, such as Dr. Eggman (Robotnik’s name in Japanese) being a nickname for Dr. Robotnik. Other things weren’t that simple. For instance, some of those little things mentioned in the Japanese manuals started showing up again, specifically the apocalypse caused by people misusing the Chaos Emeralds. Sonic Adventure was a soft-reboot, where most previous characters and worldbuilding are still there, but some details are left behind so that newcomers have an easier time entering the series. There also might be changes in the series’ tone. For example, Sonic Adventure was somewhat more serious than previous games could be, but still overall lighthearted. This was also the first of many mainline games during this time to have an ensemble cast. Instead of just playing as Sonic, or maybe Tails and Knuckles, you were required to play all three of them plus other characters, with different stories and gameplay styles. This was a tall task, but these games pulled it off well enough to be very popular at the time. Themes of friendship became very prominent in the games around this time, and to further cement it, Sonic X, a Japanese-produced anime came out and got localized in the United States. Sonic was still a little cocky in English dubs of the games and anime, but he was also free-spirited and very supportive of his friends instead of being preoccupied with being the coolest person in the group. For the most part, his English and Japanese portrayals were nearly indistinguishable. Other characters also got more screentime and focus on their personalities, and popular new characters like Shadow and Rouge were introduced to the cast. All was going great.

Then 2006 came around. Shadow the Hedgehog and Sonic the Hedgehog (aka Sonic 06) came out, ushering in a period of very poorly received Sonic games, the latter being seen as a contender for the worst game of all time. Shadow the Hedgehog was an attempt at explaining why the titular character was alive after apparently being killed off Sonic Adventure 2, but the gritty and somewhat melodramatic tone was seen as ill-fitting for the Sonic franchise. The gameplay was also lacking, in part due to other characters tagging along with Shadow and repeatedly telling him hints and mission objectives. The problem of characters talking a lot mid-gameplay was present in Sonic Heroes, but the gameplay itself was passable enough that the game didn’t completely suffer for it. Shadow the Hedgehog tied up the last plot threads the Sonic Adventure series left behind, so the series had to go somewhere different. Sonic 06 was another soft-reboot, so that newcomers wouldn’t have to study up on the games from Sonic Adventure to Shadow the Hedgehog. Because the game was rushed for the holiday season, it was glitchy, didn’t feel good to play, and the writing was… very flawed. The game’s tone was slightly lighter than Shadow the Hedgehog, but still a little too melodramatic for most fans.

With all of these changes in mind, further splits in the English-speaking fandom occurred. Many vocal Classic fans were thrown off by the series being heavier on plot, worldbuilding, and Sonic’s friends. They wanted to go back to a time when none of that existed, and when Sonic was just an arrogant jokester--a time that only existed in 90’s US and UK. Newer, Adventure-era fans grew up with these new changes and loved them, though many of them were also not happy with Shadow the Hedgehog and subsequent games’s handling of these things. Because of Shadow the Hedgehog and Sonic 06’s spectacular failure in handling different characters’ gameplay, one sentiment was repeatedly echoed--that only Sonic should be playable. Since then, with very few exceptions, only Sonic has been playable in mainline Sonic games. This still wasn’t enough to save the games. Games after Sonic 06 often had a core gimmick to them, many of which weren’t received well, and the ones that were got replaced by the next game. The writing had the same feeling to it, though. It shied away from the melodrama of the most hated entries, but still retained the sincerity of entries like Sonic Adventure.

Modern Era

That changed in 2011 with Sonic Colors. Instead of Sonic Team writing the games, they hired Ken Pontac and Warren Graff, two American writers known for working on Happy Tree Friends. Neither had much knowledge of the previous games’ characters, worldbuilding, or stories, but this was intentional. Sonic games sell less in Japan, so Sega probably wanted to put more focus into pleasing audiences in America and Europe. The two went off some basics about the characters and setting, and what little they knew previously. There is some supervision by Takeshi Iizuka, a longtime Sonic Team member who is currently the head of the series after creator Yuji Naka left in the mid-2000’s, but he is interested in the series going in a new direction. Sonic Colors was another soft reboot of the series, but because of the writer’s lack of knowledge about the series a lot more details were lost and changes made than in any of the previous ones. The writing is lighthearted, but most of the sincerity has been traded for attempts at comedy, which tend to be hit and miss. Sonic as a character retains his free spirit and some kindness towards his friends, but some of the self-importance of his English interpretation is making a comeback. Many of the characters from previous games make returns, but they’re written oddly (“Y’got this, Sssonic!” - Shadow, Sonic Generations (2011)) and the writers don’t quite know how to integrate them. Sonic Colors was well-received for its gameplay, and even the writing was praised at the time, but most subsequent games have middling reception. None are considered outright bad (except Sonic Boom, but that was a spinoff that Sega contracted a different company to do) or outright good (except Sonic Mania, which Sega contracted a team of fans to do.)

Conclusion

As it stands now, the Sonic franchise is a strange hybrid of the Japanese and English interpretations of Sonic. A lot of the Adventure Era fans are old enough to start noticing the changes in the writing in the Modern Era, and some aren’t big fans. Some are, though. Some of the Classic fans are satisfied with these changes, others aren’t impressed either preferring the Classic or even Adventure Era. Some people like the Classic Era, but not the English interpretations of the series. There are likely Modern fans who grew up with this version of the Sonic franchise and love it, but there may be ones that have seen previous iterations and prefer those better. There are many differing opinions and few can agree on what would be good for Sonic. Would things have been different if localization had been handled differently in the 90’s? Who can say? All we have to go by are ripples from the errors of the past.

[msuevents]

— MOKSEONG UNIVERSITY OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY event #2: mokseong mausoleum — the chilling adventures of...

something wicked this way comes... it’s halloween! to celebrate all hallows' eve, the mokseong castle and the grounds have been charmed to look extra spooky, with several different activities scattered around for your entertainment. even the dungeons have been transformed to look like a mausoleum for the costume party... beware of the mummies!  the halloween event takes place on saturday, the 31st of october, with a bunch of activities arranged for your enjoyment by the mokseong staff. it’ll end with a costume party, with permission from the staff to keep partying through out the night (as long as everyone’s in class on monday)! but professor aurora still doesn’t want any kind of funny business, alright? ooc information will be found under the cut. for this event, there will also be two interactive events (special tasks) in which you can score double points! in relation to this event being spooky themed, the npcs page has also been updated with a ghost for each house!

— ACTIVITIES

apple bobbing are you ready to snatch up something delicious… with your teeth? look no further and come bobbing for apples! the apples are dipped into a large basin with water, floating at the surface as they wait to be caught. but the rumor around campus is that the apples are charmed, and if you unpeel it and throw the peel into the water again it’ll make a shape and reveal the first letter of your soulmate’s name…

mirror maze the great hall’s been transformed into a house of mirrors. tall mirrors, wide mirrors, distorted mirrors, and, uh, charmed mirrors? yes, if being stuck in a maze on the ground wasn’t bad enough, students are also able to walk up against the walls and ceiling mirrors due to a sticky charm! will you be able to escape this puzzle without clues? if not, just ask our sir hendrick the brave for one! if you can catch him…

haunted house were you hoping for a workout this hallow’s eve? too bad! the school’s gym has for one day been transformed into a haunted house, engulfed in a darkness so deep you can barely make out your own silhouette. the haunted house has been filled with restless spirits, and if you’re lucky, you might run into a few familiar faces!

pumpkin carving it wouldn't be a halloween party without pumpkins! come join us for a leisurely time in our pumpkin patch where you can make jack o'lanterns to take back with you to your dorms! whether you decide to carve or paint their faces is completely up to you! want to give them a personality too? charm them to speak after you're finished! they'll make a fun companion to carry around or even to decorate the campus with. just don't throw any or caretaker smith is going to have a fit!

carriage ride want a little romantic, but spooky getaway from the rest of the campus? come take a ride on our enchanted carriages! well, enchanted for those who can't see them anyway. these carriages are pulled by threstals that are provided by our very own groundskeeper lee. this carriage ride will take you all around mokseong university from the castle grounds to past the pool of the universe and back. with the carriages charmed to make the ride seem like the dead of night,  the fog and chilling sound effects just brings more of the spooky... so if you're riding with a friend, huddle up close because its going to be a bumpy ride!

movie night parties not quite your thing? not to worry, if you prefer a quieter night, the castle grounds will have an outside movie theatre, that will be showing off various muggle horror movies throughout the night. all students are free to bring blankets and snacks, and settle in for a horrific night!

costume party to end off the evening, get your costumes ready and head on down to the dungeons for a raging costume party! a rarity here at mokseong, this party is unsupervised, but prefects and head students are ordered to keep an eye on the students. alcohol will not be served by the school, but students are free to bring any if they so desire. come on down and have some fun, and while professor aurora says no funny business, remember that what she doesn’t know, won’t hurt her!

— SPECIAL TASKS

trick or treat it's not halloween without a little treat! come to the dungeons to grab a mysterious party favor before all the fun begins! nobody knows what are in these suspicious little vials (aside from professor jung of course), but be warned that they are only to be used at the event and nowhere else! any misuse of these potions will automatically earn deductions off their house points! but other than that, have fun! how to participate: members ask a # from 1 to 10 in the msuevents inbox. remember to specify what you’re sending a number for! admins/mod will send back the corresponding potion that matches the number. the potion can either be a hit or a miss which is part of the fun! it is recommended that these potions are used in-event only and have been previously plotted before introduced in threads (so there won’t be any godmodding/awkwardness). the effects of the potions last for one (1) hour in msu time meaning they can only be referenced once in one (1) thread to obtain two (2) additional points so use it wisely!

double, double, toil and trouble ever wanted to utter a ridiculous movie phrase without judgment? now you can! or, well — there may be some judgment, but it’s ok. in this task for an extra two (2) points, you have to pick a number between 1 and 20 and we’ll send you a quote from a famous movie, which your character will have to say in one of your event threads — without letting your writing partner know about it! are you up for the challenge? how to participate: members ask a # from 1 to 20 in the msuevents inbox. remember to specify what you’re sending a number for! admins/mod will send back the corresponding quote that matches the number. you can use this quote in any event thread you want to, but please don’t tell your thread partner about it! we’d love to see some hilarity ensue because of this. the quote can only be used once in one (1) thread to obtain two (2) additional points.

— GENERAL INFO

welcome to our second event here at mokseong! while this event is set to the date of october 31st in game, members will have from october 17th to november 7th to participate in the event. you’re more than welcome to continue other threads as the event goes on, but they can be put on pause if you so desire. keep in mind that event threads will earn your house points, so we highly encourage participating! all posts pertaining to the event should be tagged with msu:mausoleum. if any of you have any event-specific questions, please message the events blog rather than the main, so we can keep everything event-related in once place.

— POINTS SYSTEM

as a reminder from the first event and for the newer members, we’ll go more in depth about the house point system. characters can earn points for the house they represent by participating in the event. if you portray multiple characters, you can’t earn points for both houses they represent by threading on only one of them — both must participate in the event if you wish to earn points for both houses. characters earn one point for each thread related to the event, and one bonus point if this thread is with someone you have not done a thread with before. for example:

dotty does a thread with levi where they go to the haunted house, which gives one point. dotty and levi have not threaded before, which means one additional point will be added. this gives them both a total of two bonus points, which will be added to their total for the event.

please note that full points are only earned if both characters participate in the thread. for starters with no reply, half a point will be awarded to the house of the person writing the starter. for this event, we also have two special tasks that can each award you an additional two bonus points each! at the end of the event, we ask that all members count their total amount of points, and submit this list with links to the threads you’re claiming the points for. we will need the links for proof of the points to be awarded! everyone is responsible for tracking their own points, as us admins do not have time to sit and count points for every single character. if anything is unclear about this system, send the main a message!

[cytarabi]

Hey! I've become a huge fan of your fics on ao3. I wanted to know how do you push out so many beautiful chapters so quickly? What's your writing process like? I'm working on a big JB fic, which I'm trying to finish timely, but high quality. Always like to see how other writers do their thang! Thank you!

Hi! I remember your name!! <3 Thank YOU for the question and praise, that’s so sweet!!

I love seeing how other writers do their thang, too! And I’ve found it can be very, very different for each author.

TLDR I write a lot of my fic ahead of time. I outline the entire fic, chapter by chapter before I start writing. I use several tools to speed the process and/or to make it more artsy fartsy.

I’ve found that I’m a “plotter” and not a “pantser” (two main ways of writing, unless you hate being labeled lol.)

Plotter means that I prefer plotting out most of the story before I write the details. Here’s been my process for my multichapter fics:

1) I come up with an idea and let it brew! I think about key scenes or dialogue I love and I jot them down in my phone on Google notes. Write down your ideas, you’ll probably forget them.

2) During this brewing time, (for As Black As Thunder and my next fic) I take the time to read, read, read. I read works and jot more notes! I have an entire Google doc for Rebecca by Daphne de Maurier where I wrote down her tone usage, figurative language and summary of each chapter. I can’t tell you how much this has helped get me in the write TONE for the work. Tone is SO important. Readers reading a thriller will expect thriller beats! Deep Fried Drinks was a rom com, so the verbs, adjectives etc are very different from creepy Gothic. When I started As Black As Thunder (ABAT), wow, it was hard to nail the tone at first. But by the second half of the fic, I’m fully immersed in it and it’s much easier to create the tone naturally. Without using inspiration, I don’t think it would have turned out as well. For ABAT, I think I took two weeks of no writing, when I’m used to writing every day. It was hard not to write, but wow, was I ready when I started!

3) When I’m ready to outline, I do! I open a google doc for the fic and start throwing everything I can think of in there. My ABAT doc was only like three lines for 6 months... lol! I’ve only just started looking into story structure, so my older fics are all wonky. BUT for ABAT and Deep Fried Drinks, I tried to follow story structure for plots. First act, second act, third act, character arcs, etc. My longest fic, Time Stops, dropped a bunch of readers in the middle and I think it’s because my middle SAGGED majorly. I didn’t try to follow a structure, just sort of plotted it out how I wanted to, and it was probably very repetitive and boring. For ABAT, I plotted a mid point turn to spice things up, chose things to make the character more proactive, etc. I highly recommend Ellen Brock on Youtube for any plotting advice. She’s an editor, and I’ve learned so much!

4) Organize plot into chapters, write key notes for chapters and fill out background info. The first two are self explanatory, but the third is my favorite! One thing that speeds my writing (I have no idea if people do this or not) but I have lists. So many lists! For ABAT, I have lists of common outfits for characters (I usually hate writing about outfits but I’m glad I wrote more for this work). I also write the character arc for each main character. For ABAT, I have the following for Brienne:

Brienne 

Symbols: white crocus flower (purity, youthfulness, sensitive to rain), White begonia, Small birch saplings struggling for light

Goal: serve public, be idealistic, honorable

Lie: (hidden for spoilers)

Truth: (hidden for spoilers)

Flaw: stubborn, idealistic, watched her father get fame and respect for his engineering, wants to do the same thing and do it perfectly, doesn’t understand systemic racism 

Motivation: serve people, be accepted by the public, belonging, abandonment

Stakes: public rejection, Tarth name on the line, mockery, insanity, failure

So when I think about a curve ball for Brienne at any point of the story, this character section helps me stay true to character. I have a section for Brienne, Jaime, Cersei and Missandei. Cersei has a larger section because she’s a villain... ;)

In addition to this section, I also write down their personalities and strengths. You know, like if they went to an interview lol. For example, I have Missandei have the following strengths: 

Missandei

Adaptability: able to adapt

Intellection: introspective and appreciate intellectual discussions

Consistency: all people should be treated the same

Futuristic: fascinated by future

Learner: loves to learn

I ALSO have an emotion worksheet and this is SO USEFUL. They say in writing: show that the character is angry, not tell the reader. WELL, IDK about you but I can’t keep track of all the little quirks characters do and yet, I want them to be consistent. If while writing a scene, I sometimes think, “Hmm what is Jaime doing if he’s in awe right now?” I search for “awe” at the top of my fic, and bam, I have options, more or less. For a lot of emotions, I brainstormed ideas based on character traits, arcs, Gothic tone etc. I fill all of this out before I write the first chapter. 

Here’s an example of some emotions I have for ABAT:

Emotion List (remember to have introspection, unique perspective) 

Awe:

B: wrinkle deepened between brows, parted lips, fixed gaze, stands still

J: arched brow, open mouth, stare, goes closer

C: lowering chin or raising chin, goes closer

M: adaptable, quick to react

Deceptive:

B: looking away, walking away

J: scratching ear

C: smiling, neatly placed hands

M: long blink

Thoughtfulness:

B: staring off, quiet, daydreaming

J: staring at object important to him, twisting pencil or object in his hand, squeezing his hand

C: squeezing hand, staring at object she wants to get rid of or improve

M: daydreaming, staring off at her own outfit—it’s foreign

5) Now the fun part: writing! I used to write with scene structure outline, but I think I’ve grown off the training wheels. But it really helped me in Deep Fried Drinks to plot out the chapter scenes ahead of time, and I used Ellen Brock’s proactive and reactive videos to help me out with that. I throw on some music to get me in the mood of the story and I write during my kid’s nap, about two hours every day. Sometimes I’ll write at night, but lately I’ve been too tired to do that. My tip for this part is to try and figure out what you want to improve. What are you good at, and what could you improve as a writer? My first fics had like zero figurative language. Awkward. This takes a level of awareness that’s hard to reach but watching or researching creative writing technique really helps me. For example, I used to NEED to write all five senses out for each chapter ahead of time. Now it comes naturally to me! I would say now my main issue is phrasing? Pacing? And I need to tone down the melodrama for my next work....... lol! I write, write, write--and usually, I write 60-90% of the fic before I start editing!

6) Editing. Fun fun fun. I don’t mind editing, I just don’t think I’m that GOOD at it. I try to read through my chapter twice and edit as I go. I look for things I want to take out or add, look for show vs tell, formatting, etc--do things make sense? Did I miss anything? In ABAT, I’ll write something in chap 20 that I need to start in chap 18, so I’ll go back and make a quick note to “add part about document somewhere in this chapter” so I don’t confuse readers. When I edit chap 18, I’ll add that line or paragraph in. It’s all an intricate web! I also have a list of vague words I try to eliminate or replace with stronger words (I have more words if you want them). I found that I have certain words or phrases that echo a lot, like “while”, “turned around”, “turned” or “did not”--now I search for these phrases/words and try to change them:

Get rid of vague words, fix by explaining more:

Some 

While

Thing

Stuff

Very

Really

Big/small

Good/bad

Simple verbs: had, was, went

Got/get

Few

Several

What

Do/Did

It

Like with all writing “rules”, they can be broken, but it helps to know why they are rules. I steered away from adverbs, and I think it improves my writing. Other writers have different prose and adverbs work so well--it all depends on your style! If I find these vague words in dialogue, for example, I almost never change them because dialogue is usually freaking vague lol!

7) Beta reader(s)! I honestly think this work is better than my other stuff because I have a newer beta reader, theunpaidcritic!!! *I bow* She’s literally an expert so it’s SO helpful for me in every way--I can’t fangirl about her enough. If you’re struggling to get a beta reader, I recommend joining a JB discord (transformative werk is my favorite discord, and there is a beta read request thread) or post a request on reddit!

8) Post! Once you’ve edited and gone over beta reader notes, it’s time to post! Congrats!!!!!!!!!!

For time reference, I started this process around mid-May for ABAT, and I will be done by early September. Maybe I’m just a fast writer? Compared to angel-deux, ha, I look slow. Everyone is different! Please let me know if you have any other questions, I am ALL about helping out! :) <3 <3 <3

[sebastianshaw]

@cadreformed here are some pros and cons of RP boards! Posted in case it’s helpful to others or they have something to add: CONS - Picking a board in the first place. With Tumblr you don’t need to choose what kind of place is going to be a good fit or looks promising, you just make a damn blog. With boards, you might care about how it’s organized, what the plot is, what the rules are, and if it’s a newer or older board. Some people prefer newer boards because they don’t like having to be the new person amidst a bunch of people who have a ton of established stuff between them. Some people like older boards because they know they won’t close in a week due to inactivity or people losing interest. I prefer newer boards myself. - Committing. You theoretically can just board-hop and drop boards but it’s like...kinda rude, imo? Also there are activity requirements at most about how much you have to post per month to keep your characters. You can take breaks of course but you have to give notice, not just disappear, or your characters might be deleted or go up for grabs, and you will miss stuff (plot events, etc) and risk getting left behind if you’re gone long enough. The boards I’m at just require two posts a month per character but many are more stringent. - Everything takes place in one shared universe. It’s not like Tumblr where every interaction is in its own verse. So like you can’t have a Brotherhood, X-Men, and Hellfire verse, you gotta pick a faction, your stuff will all take place in a linear timeline, etc. - You also generally need more justification for interaction on board threads, it’s not like Tumblr where you can just have your two characters randomly in the same space like with asks and one-liners. So the posts are typically longer and take more thought/commitment to throw two people together if they’re not, say, living in the same base or something. -Everyone who is at the board, is at the board. So if you don’t like someone you just have to put up with them being there, no just unfollowing like with Tumblr. If they’re actually awful/do something that breaks the rules (boards always have rules against harassment, bigotry, etc) of course you can report them but if they just like bug you or you don’t like how they write...unfortunately you just gotta endure it. You don’t HAVE to thread with anyone you don’t want to, but you do take the chance that they will respond to your opens if you make them and that you may have to put up with them during group threads (which are common during board plot events that everyone joins in on) - You need to apply to play, they have an application form for your character. Some are longer and more intense than others, some are almost just writing their names and grabbing an FC. Your character will need to fit the setting, timeline, etc of the board, but most admins in my experience are glad to help with that. You will usually need to be fairly specific about the abilities and limitations your character’s powers have, make sure the character makes sense to the admin’s standards, and some sites will have banned characters or banned concepts. Banned characters usually include “god” type characters (ex: Galactacus) or other “board-breakers” who are just too OP, reality warpers, and banned concepts are typically things like, sorry, OC children of canons. - You can’t always just...do what you want. Like if I wanted to say “Anne Marie is in space this week” I would have to justify it to the admins of how the fuck this happened, why it is happening, etc. You don’t just get to do anything crazy you want like with Tumblr, where you answer only to you. On the plus side though, no one else gets to pull off ridiculous shit out of nowhere on you either like “oh my character is ACTUALLY the god emperor of the universe” PROS - Plots provided! Most boards have an overarching plot and many will do new miniplots per month. Both the X-Men boards I’m at do that and it’s good fun, always something fresh! It also means you don’t always have to think up shit that’s happening because the admins have done it for you, all you have to do is have your muse participate and react to what they throw at you. It can make for some really fun unexpected situations that bring out stuff in your muse you never accounted for! - No hunting for partners, they’re all right there! You instantly have an RP group upon being accepted. There may still be people who just choose not to thread with you, hell there are people at the boards I’m at who I prefer not to write with and people I absolutely LOVE writing with, but it’s not like Tumblr where you have to LOOK for folks and hope your little blog gets noticed, everyone at the board knows you are there. Most will be happy to do stuff with you too. You will often make friends this way and it’s pretty great, much like with Tumblr friendships <3 - Linear progression can make for more clear character development? Like because most boards move in real time (like from month to month) and have dated threads (ex: “Sept 13, 2020, 6 PM”) you can have much more clear character arcs, and because it all takes place in one universe, what’s going on in ALL your threads will affect your character, unlike on Tumblr where the multiversal nature means that like...if Shaw gets a ton of development but just with ONE person in ONE verse, it doesn’t affect him with anyone else. Admittedly this can also be a con cuz like, if you want Tova to be grievously injured in a thread, that means all her threads AFTER that will have her in recovery until she heals. Stuff like that. - Because everything is in one universe with established rules and admins to moderate things, everyone’s canon lines up with each other. There’s no hassle with trying to make an X-Men universe character mesh with a DnD universe character. It also means everyone is running on the same power system (like, Sailor Moon and DBZ have very different systems) and it’s clear who is at what level. Admins will also try to mitigate to make sure no one is too OP, and will have your back if someone godmods. - Admins in general are a good thing to have because they are who steps in if someone is metagaming, harassing you, etc. It’s not just you on your own. You shouldn’t call on them to work out every personal issue you have with someone, but most have a zero tolerance policy for bullying, bigotry, etc. TL;DR There are more rules and less freedom, and you are making a bigger commitment. The payoff is you get a lot of things provided to you---plots to participate in, a pre-made setting, a pool of waiting partners---that you would have to make/find yourself on Tumblr. I personally have very much enjoyed the structure and plots of boards, but also recommend being very choosy too.

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

Bloom From Nowhere

The town that contained them for 21 years had become too small for them. When they'd graduated high school, arms linked in promise, they told everyone they were getting out of this one-story town. They feared, after a few years of working and saving up as much as they could, that maybe they had been lying; really, they were just waiting for the perfect, hurried moment. Nothing was more motivating than procrastination. It was about time they moved on.

Rosenda packed in a flurry, excitement and anxiety beating wildly in her chest as she threw necessities into a positively ancient suitcase she found at the bottom of the hall closet. She carefully folded and packed her favorite shirts: a green and blue striped top that fell from her shoulders toward the center of her chest, a crimson rayon top with ruffles from the neck to the bottom of her bust and a keyhole opening that showed off her modest cleavage, as well as her beloved Lord of the Rings quote t-shirt and a modified tie-dye t-shirt she got from Forever 21 that read “California Dreamin'” in a stitched Coca-Cola-style font. She added her comfiest pairs of jeans (two – light wash and black), a pair of brown capris, and a pair of denim cut-offs. A dress made it in there, too – a flowy turquoise summer dress that she saw on sale last summer and had to resist wearing it every day – and some jewelry, makeup, socks and underwear and a pair of tan-colored flip flops. If she needed anything else, she figured, she'd ask her mother to send it along once she was settled somewhere – after her mother started speaking to her again, of course.

Only a few hours earlier they'd determined that they would leave, so with what little time was left, she drove straight to the bank and withdrew all of her savings. The weight of the cash in her wallet that would only fit in her back pocket seemed heavier than she’d been expecting as she walked to her car, her phone in hand. She seemed to be waiting for a call, but why, she couldn’t tell – her plans with Gal were made already and they agreed to pack separately and meet up later. As she got into her silver 2004 Honda Civic (a car that she inherited from her mother, and besides that felt history, would not miss) and dropped her phone into the empty passenger seat, she felt the semblance of safety fall away. Every familiar red light she met on her way home looked like the call she was inexplicably waiting for, but once she pulled into the driveway, the expectation seemed far away.

Back in her room, she picked through her desk drawers for things she thought she might miss – photobooth strips of her with Gal and a couple of her high school friends, a lucky blue mechanical pencil she lost in high school more times than she could count that always managed to find its way back to her, a few small journals, and a homemade deck of Lord of the Rings themed playing cards that her middle school friend Liza made her one year for Christmas. She packed them, along with electronics and appropriate chargers and wires, into an extra travel bag where she packed the last important pieces of her future: drawing utensils, her most-used box of oil pastels, a newer set of paints, and three pads of drawing paper. Then, sitting on the edge of her bed leaning over her nightstand, she scribbled a note to her mother.

It’s been time for a while, hasn’t it? Even though I know how much you worry about me, I know you just want me to be happy. Bueno, gracias por eso. But take care of yourself, sí? Tú también mereces la felicidad. I'll be with Galia (who else?), so try not to worry about me too much. I know you trust her even though you'd like her to think you don't. We know you do, though. I’ll be okay. I’ll call you when I get somewhere new and beautiful. You understand, ¿a que sí? Te quiero tanto — Rosenda

Once she smoothed down her blankets again, she propped the note up against her pillow and stared at it for a few minutes. The blank edges of the note gave her something to focus on beyond everything that she was leaving behind in her childhood bedroom. When her eyes accidentally flicked upward, her gaze fell upon the yellow and black flag hanging above her bed that she’d rested her post-high school dreams on. She quickly looked away and sighed. 'Perhaps hope only blooms from out of nowhere and doesn’t grow from whatever you hang on the wall,' she deduced as her phone lit up with a text from Gal. I’m outside. That was why she’d never hung any photos of her with Gal on the wall. She wanted the unknown future to stay unknown for as long as possible.

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As soon as she throws her suitcase and bag into the trunk of the navy 2008 Subaru Outback and hops into the passenger seat, she looks over at Gal in the driver’s seat and finds herself staring.

“I don’t know what I was expecting,” she finally says.

Gal scoffs.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know.” She picks at the thin threads holding on at the edge of a hole in the left knee of her jeans. “I just thought…like, it’d be a bigger deal or something.”

“Oh, this isn’t a big enough deal for you? Want me to honk the horn as I drive down the street, make people come out and see what all the fuss is about as we wave at them like princesses?”

“No!” she cries, and then immediately laughs. “I just meant…I don’t know. Does it feel like a big deal to you?”

Gal shrugs.

“Sort of.” In Gal-speak, Rose knows that means, Yes, absolutely, and I’m terrified and I’m not going to talk about it.

She glances at the phone in Gal’s hand, the bright screen glowing in the dimming cab as the outside light swiftly grows darker.

“I made a road trip playlist before I left, though.”

“Oooooh,” Rose says with genuine interest.

“Fuck yeah. We’re ready, babe.”

As they pull away from the curb of her childhood home, she chews on her lip. Passing by the quiet houses that line her block, lingering on the illuminated outdoor lights hanging beside front doors, she tries not to think about how they will change, how neighbors will move away and be replaced by new ones that her mother will have to adjust to or try hard to ignore. She looks over at Gal whose pale face is cast in a garish orange glow by the overhead street lights and she wonders, but doesn’t want to know yet, how they will change.

After a few hours of idle chatting – nothing deeper than what they did earlier today – and singing along loudly to their playlist, they pull into a quiet AM-PM gas station. As she watches Gal, standing tall with her eyes forward but her gaze faraway, fill the gas tank, she suddenly realizes what would make this seem more important. She pops the trunk and scrambles out of the car. Gal looks at her with furrowed eyebrows but says nothing, and Rose offers no verbal explanation as she grabs her suitcase and opens it, sifting through the clothes she hastily packed. Finally, she finds what she thought was a random dress she’d stuffed into the slightly emptier side of the suitcase and places it carefully over her left arm. Closing the suitcase and then shutting the trunk door, she gives Gal a smile and tells her that she’s going to the bathroom and will be back in a minute. Gal raises an eyebrow at the garment slung over her arm but nods and goes back to the arduous task of pumping gas and sort-of-not-really paying attention to her surroundings – they’re alone in the station, but who knows for how long.

When she walks into the store, she offers the too-tired-or-too-awake white cashier a smile and asks for the bathroom key. The strawberry blond man who looks to be in his 30s sighs and picks the key up off a tack in the wall at the end of the counter and hands it to her, gesturing toward the back of the store. She marches through the side aisle and then down a small hallway that ends with the plain-looking hefty green bathroom door. Once she opens the door, she wrinkles her nose at the soapy smell that seems to be trying to mask the torrent of years-old scents of bodily functions. The brown tile floor looks clean enough, but the once-white walls seem suspiciously grey, and she tries to ignore anything that looks remotely like a stain smeared on the wall.

Closing the door and placing the key on the edge of the sink, she drapes the dress over her shoulders and slips off a boot to remove her jeans. She’s barefoot, but they should stop into a hotel at some point later so they can shower. Removing her other boot, she then shimmies out of her jeans, conscious of the sound of denim sliding together down her legs and bunching around her ankles. She pulls them off and folds them up, setting them on the edge of the sink. Next, she pulls her shirt off over head and folds it and places it on top of her jeans, then steps into the dress and pulls it up to her chest and shoves her arms into the straps. After adjusting her bra not to poke out so noticeably above the cups of the dress, she finally looks in the mirror and notices the way the bust of the dress seems to stretch and she raises her eyebrows – her boobs have grown since she last wore this dress. She half turns and notices the way the gown’s soft polyester material curves over her rear and cascades down past her calves – at least it seems to fit better than the last time she wore it. When she turns around again and looks at her reflection straight-on, she sighs and suddenly feels shy. She remembers she has to walk back to the front of the store and return the bathroom key to the cashier, and what if there are other customers wandering around, just waiting to judge the other oddballs stopping in at gas stations at 1 o’clock in the morning?

Suddenly, she hears Gal’s voice on the other side of the door.

“Hey Rose, can you hurry it up in there? I wanna get back on the road.”

She pauses, looking at herself anxiously in the mirror and makes sure her mascara hasn’t run to her knees, and then begins to gather up her clothes.

“Yeah, sorry, I’m done.” She grabs the key off the edge of the sink and opens the door quickly to see Gal standing in front of her, waiting. When Gal notices the change in attire, her eyes widen.

“Is this what you meant by ‘a big deal’?” she asks.

Rose blushes.

“I feel silly, actually.” She’s still standing on the ground in her bare feet and she just remembers to grab her boots as well.

“Well…you look-” Gal pauses, apparently searching for some grand adjective to describe the woman before her, of Rose’s tan skin flushing under her stare and limber body draped in a vermilion gown, “-amazing.”

The word isn’t enough, but Rose recognizes the breathless way Gal ends her sentence and knows what she means. She smiles and hands Gal the key and adjusts her clothes in her arms and carefully holds her boots between her fingers on one hand.

They stand there for a minute, Gal admiring her, before Rose clears her throat and shifts her feet.

“Ready?”

Gal shakes her head, as though shaking herself out of a trance, and nods. Before turning around to leave the store, she smiles at Rose who returns the gesture.

As the two walk together through the store, Rose feels all anxiety regarding the trip fall away. Even as she walks barefoot in an evening gown through a random AM-PM store at 1AM clutching her discarded outfit, the presence of Gal beside her makes her feel light. She smiles again at the cashier as Gal drops the key onto the counter and nods goodbye to him and they leave the store, walking across the gas station parking lot to the Subaru on the other side of the gas pumps.

Gal rushes over to the driver’s side of the car so she can unlock the door for them, and as soon as she presses the button on the inside of the door, Rose reaches the passenger side door and pulls it open, a faint smile still present at the corners of her lips. She throws her discarded outfit and boots into the backseat and steps into the car, the material of her dress gathered by hand and tucked under her thighs. Once she closes the door, she looks over at Gal who is staring at her.

“What?” she asks self-consciously.

Gal keeps staring for a few seconds before she looks away into her lap.

“Nothing.” When she looks up again at Rose who is now staring at her, she laughs and shakes her head, grinning.

“You’re just-”

“’Too much’?” Rose asks, quoting her from years of knowing each other.

Gal pauses and her smile slackens a little bit.

“No. You’re beautiful and I just feel too lucky to be here with you right now.”

Rose feels her blood thrum quicker in her veins and she glances at their surroundings for a second.

“In this gas station?”

Gal laughs, and she watches the way Gal’s roomy mouth opens wide at the corners and reveals all the gaps between her straight teeth. She remembers when Gal confided in her that she hated her teeth, though she recognized how privileged she was that her teeth were taken such good care of in the first place. They were too straight, according to Gal – ‘Totally unlike me,’ as she’d put it with a wry smile. Rose meant to bat her on the arm for saying that, but instead she’d grazed her skin with her fingertips and watched the goosebumps rise on Gal’s arm in their wake. She enjoyed that reaction as much as she enjoys Gal’s laugh, so she smiles even as Gal’s laughter fades.

“I love you,” Gal says after a few seconds of silence, wearing a matching smile.

Rose reaches over to tuck Gal’s short dark hair behind her ear.

“That’s why I’m here,” she says. They stare at each other for a minute, Gal blinking in gratitude or awe, and then Rose eventually seems to zone out, away from them as they sit there though her eyes remain glued to a small, unassuming mole resting on Gal’s chin.

Even once Gal finally looks away and turns the key in the ignition, Rose continues to stare, only now at Gal’s cheek where a few more small, inconspicuous brown dots adorn her skin. Perhaps there is nothing more she wants to know then what is already there. Still, as Gal guides the Subaru away from the gas station and back onto the road, they move on.

[sasuhinasno1fan]

Simple Decorating - Klancemas Day 5

I think my writing is getting worse but I’m gonna persevere. Hopefully tumblr doesn’t eat this again so that @monthlyklance misses it. Last time I did this, i bombarded them with a message a day at least when I posted to make sure they saw it. They said they didn’t mind but I still felt bad. Decorating

“Remember everyone, the tree in the lobby should only have ornaments on it, not trash cause you’re too lazy to throw it out or any profanity like items. I swear I see a sex toy dangling from the branches, we are going to have issues!”

Lance looked around, already guessing the people who were going to ignore the RA’s warnings. Lance didn’t care, he was just glad they were told they could decorate. The only time they could hang things from the ceiling, unless of course their room had a Wi-Fi router or the old sprinkler systems. Lance was lucky, he had one of the newer rooms and just escaped getting a router in the room. The unfortunate issue was his roommate was Griffin was a regular Scrooge. Pretty much demanded that there shouldn’t be any Christmas in the room. Lance thought it was because he was Jewish and celebrated Hanukah but it turned out that he just thought it was a capitalist holiday and refused to give in. Lance had fond memories of decorating for Christmas with his family and he was extremely tempted to just ignore Griffin but he also didn’t want to lose decorations he spent money on.

Once the crowd around the tree died, Lance grabbed a blank paper ornament and drew a surfing Santa before hanging it on the tree. It wasn’t the gaudy one like at home, but it was something.

“Lance.” Lance turned to see Keith squeezing past people with a large gift bag in hand. “Guess what your cousin just handed me.”

Many people thought that Adam was a kind, responsible person. He was, most of the time. The other half he was a complete little shit who Lance couldn’t deal with without wanting to ring his neck. Whatever was in that bag could either be good or bad.

Keith opened it and showed it Lance. It was a boxed mini Christmas tree. Keith had an older room with a sprinkler system. It was turned off but still, rules were he couldn’t hang anything up on the ceiling and during that time they had to cancel their trip to a cabin because they got snowed in, they had gotten onto the topic of what they would do at their house for Christmas. Lance told him about the family he’d have, with music playing throughout the house, the smells of a Cuban feast wafting from the kitchen. Keith’s would be either packing for a trip his mom would take him and Shiro on or the traditions of blowing up balloons, bunching them and sticking them on the ceiling, getting a tree and pulling out the old school decorations to put on the tree and Nightmare Before Christmas playing on the TV for probably the 8th time that day. Lance knew that when their RA informed them that they’d get to put things on the ceilings, he was already texting Shiro. Then they said the rules and he broke down, emotionally, not literally. Lance had yet to see him cry and part of him didn’t want to.

“Wanna decorate it with me?”

“And actually have holiday cheer that isn’t destroyed by the Grinch I live with? Yes please. Oh! Can we listen to my holiday playlist? If I even try to play it in the room, Griffin just complains to the highest point of hell till I turn it off.”

“As long as Mariah Carey isn’t on there. Shiro listens to those songs all the time and if I have to hear it one more time, I will become violent.

“Well, I do love it when you get rough.” Lance teased enjoyed the red faced glare he got.

                                                   _____________

“I should have known there was a catch.”

They were in Keith’s dorm, his roommate Regis focused on his computer science homework or hacking into something, Lance didn’t know. He did know he was appreciating the music as his foot wouldn’t stop bouncing and he heard quite humming from across the room. But back to what Adam did. He had given Keith a box of decorations as well, mini ones to fit on the tree. Except they needed to be threaded.

“Hey, at least he also gave you lights.” Lance said, pulling out the small box of fairy lights.

Keith upended the box of decorations, happy to see a pack cut thread fall out too.

“Can you put the lights on the tree? That is the one thing I hate doing.” Keith asked already dreading threading all the stuff. He did notice that they were red and blue, both his and Lance’s favourite colours. Adam might be a little shit, but at least he was a kind one.

Keith struggled to get the thread to knot, cursing his habit of biting his nails. He’d use tweezers, but his Swiss Army Knife was in his bag and he was too stubborn to get up.

“I’m done!” Lance announced, turning the fairy lights and then letting out a squeak. “Ohh, I didn’t even notice it was the colourful ones. Aww, Adam cares.”

Keith glared at his boyfriend as he continued to struggle with thread.

“Poor baby, do you need help?”

“Don’t sit there you shit, help me!”

Adam highlighted his notes he knew he’d need for his upcoming final when he his phone started buzzing from an onslaught of texts. If it weren’t for Shiro napping on his bed, he thought it was his boyfriend. Once it was finally quite, he unlocked his phone and saw it had been Lance texting him, with many, many pictures attached. The first was a picture of what looked like Keith struggling to thread ornaments. Adam smirked, an asshole move yes, but so worth it. The next was the tree with the rainbow lights threaded through the branches. That one had been more for Lance than for Keith. The kid’s room was pretty close to being a fire hazard with all the string lights he had in his room. His asshole roommate complained about the coloured lights within the first week of being roommates, so he took them down. The next was Keith’s roommate, Regis he think it was, looking bewildered and annoyed all at once, holding an ornament in hand. Adam had no clue why they’d thrown it at him but the look on his face was something to giggle about. The next was Lance using two long ones to give Keith ears. The next was the finished tree, the red and blue ornaments glowing with the lights from the fairy lights plus an origami star. He knew Keith had been complaining about not being able to decorate his room the way he wanted, but he was glad his gift would bring a small bit of joy. The next came with a caption.

‘We thought he was doing homework, but he was coding a hologram tree with 12 special ornaments to appear on the 12 days leading up to Christmas.’

It wasn’t the best picture since the room was dark, but there was definitely a Christmas tree hovering over one of the desks. Adam decided he didn’t want to know how.

The last picture was a selfie of Keith and Lance, the tinsel he’d also included wrapped around their heads like flower crowns. He wondered where that went. He hadn’t seen it on the tree.

‘Keith says thank you for the tree. He wanted to decorate his room really bad so I’ll be donating my photo hanging fairy lights so he can hang up the extra ornaments on his side of the room. It’d be cool to see what his family does to their house for the holidays. You should text me pictures when you go with Shiro.’

Adam then had a thought. While he was sure Lance would love to see his family for the holidays, Lance did seem interested in seeing Keith’s family traditions.

“Hmm, I need to call aunty.”

[five-wow]

Author Asks

Rules: answer these questions and tag five other fic writers to do the same.

I was tagged by the wonderful @novemberhush. Thank you, omg, because I love rambling about writing and this is the best kind of opportunity to do so, handed on a silver platter, ahh. 😊

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Author Name: Square / Squares / SquaresAreNotCircles

Fandoms You Write For: I’m a fandom hopper! In the past year or so it’s been Hawaii Five-0 (a truly ridiculous amount), Shadowhunters, Venom, Harry Potter, due South and Stargate Atlantis. Other fandoms I’ve written at least one fic for are Twilight, Doctor Who, Torchwood, Glee, BBC Merlin, BBC Atlantis, Teen Wolf, In The Flesh, Star Wars, Supernatural, the MCU and High School Musical. And uh, Alexander the Great/Voltaire fic (which would be... history fandom? RPF?) and one (1) Judas/Jesus Biblefic. If we’re getting really technical, also a tiny little bit of One Direction fic.

It should be noted that all of this is about fic that ended up getting posted somewhere on the interwebs - there are multiple Star Trek (TOS/AOS and DS9) fics lingering in my drafts (!! one day I will finish one of them), as well as some How To Train Your Dragon, The Good Place and Deadpool stuff, and definitely more I’ve forgotten.

Where You Post: Since I made the switch to writing in English everything has landed on ao3, but I used to write mostly in Dutch, so there’s still close to a million words, I think, under my name on quizlet.nl (not to be confused with quizlet.com, which is a very different website).

Most Popular One-Shot: That depends on how you’re measuring popularity! Going by kudos, it’s Tell me I’m perfect (but tell me the truth), a Magnus/Alec Shadowhunters fic. It’s the truth is a really old fic about Percy Weasley/Oliver Wood from Harry Potter that has the most hits out of all my works, and That time Steve kissed every single Avenger (and also Bucky), an MCU Steve/Bucky fic, has the greatest number of comment threads.

Also, since this is an h50 blog: for my fic in this fandom Wanted: partner (in crime) has the most kudos and hits; You had me at meow has the most comments.

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: I’m working on one for h50 (going slowly, so slowly), but I don’t have any posted to ao3. I used to write a lot of multi-chaptered work in my quizlet.nl days, and I think my most popular fic there was probably the second fic I ever wrote, when I was fourteen or fifteen, which was a next-gen Harry Potter fic with shifting and overlapping POVs from the three Potter kids. It was kind of, well, not great, but it’s probably what really cemented my writing habit, it’s still my longest fic ever (over a 100k!) and I got my first fandom friends out of it, including one I’m still in contact with to this day, even though neither of us writes much if anything for Harry Potter anymore.

Favourite Story You Wrote: Ohhh, that’s such an impossible question, especially because I’ve been churning out one-shots like I might actually be getting paid for it, so there’s so much to choose from, which is a thing I have difficulty doing at the best of times, holy shit. Uh, I once wrote a 70k Remus/Sirius (Harry Potter) modern college-ish AU in Dutch that I still like; weirdly, I think that Biblefic holds up (also Dutch), and the HSM fic is fun to reread once in a while because of the fourth wall break, as is That escalated quickly, a Percy/Oliver fic. Ooh, and the fic about Shuri and Stucky and a goat!

For h50, it’s even harder to choose, because my preferences change pretty much weekly (a combination of newer fic being shinier, looking back at fic from even just a few months ago and finding things I would have done differently now, and comments influencing the way I personally look at my own fic), but right now, I’d say I still really like the fic where Steve adopts some guinea pigs, the one with the slightly tipsy team bonding by talking about mutual crushes and this 9.11 coda fix fluff getting together thing.

Story You Were Nervous to Post: That Biblefic, haha, because it’s a very complicated topic and my aim was definitely not to offend. People were really sweet about it, though! Mostly, they were kind of shocked it wasn’t crack, but that’s fair, because so was I.

Also pretty much anything I post in a new fandom, really, and low key just... anything at all. I’m always a little scared I tagged something super badly or accidentally copy-pasted the wrong text or unknowingly wrote something super offensive or whatever, despite my double- and triplechecking of the posting form. (I’m also still kind of scared people on ao3 will randomly decide they hate my fic and my writing and me personally (ao3 is really big and very anonymous and coming from the small town that was quizlet.nl even in its heyday, that’s scary), but that fear has abated as I’ve posted more, just because the data is showing pretty conclusively that thought is as irrational as it sounds. Everyone is always so nice, gosh.)

How Do You Pick Your Titles: Mostly, I steal lines from random songs. I have a small pile of song lyrics to use as potential titles, because going on a seperate hunt for every new fic would take most of my waking hours. Sometimes, I’ll use a pun (like You had me at meow or Retail Therapy) or something else that I think sounds good, especially if the fic is mostly comedy and/or has a specific premise that would do well in a title (like Five times the Governor of Hawaii suspects his taskforce leaders are violating fraternization policies (and one time they tell him they are)).

Do You Outline: I’m mostly writing fic of (sometimes much) less than 5k at the moment, so not really. I do sometimes write tiny bits of a bunch of scenes and then fill in the rest around that, which is a kind of outline, in a way. For longer works, I usually make a one page bullet point list of things that need to happen and work from there, because I can’t do really extensive outlining or I’ll just get caught up in the details and lose all of the oversight a tool like that is supposed to give you, as well as most of my enthusiasm for the project.

How Many Of Your Stories Are Complete: Of the ones posted? On ao3, all of them, because unfinished posted one-shot works would require some strange bending of those concepts. On quizlet.nl, I do have some abandoned works, but I think 80% is finished.

In-Progress: SO MUCH. Seriously, just, so much, oh god. I’d really like to write another Stargate Atlantis fic (and I have 30% of one done), and something more for due South, too, and maybe a small Percy/Oliver thing again some time because they were my very first OTP and I kind of miss them, but mostly I have, like, 100+ half written things for h50. I really wish that number was an exaggeration. There’s no way they’ll all get finished, but maybe... a third? Mayhaps?

That One Truly Long H50 Fic that I was already talking about way back in October last year is also eternally “in progress”. The thing is that it has about 25k now, after a year, and I think it needs... at least four times that. Probably. So either I’ll have to stick with this fandom and my slow progress for another three years to have a shot at getting it finished, or I’ll need to find a way to up the speed a little. Maybe I could try working on it for NaNo this November? That would be pretty awesome, but honestly, part of why it’s moving this slowly is because NaNo-style fast and messy writing for this scares me a little, because I might end up writing a lot, decide it’s not what I wanted for it, and become too intimidated to ever edit and/or rewrite the entire thing. But idk, I probably just need to get over my own fears, because I really do want to write Longer Fic again. Short stuff is fun and feels really productive and that’s great, but I miss the actual slow burn and build-up that only 50k+ words can give you.

Coming Soon: Hopefully a lot? For h50, that is. I have no idea what’s getting posted next, because I’m never entirely sure what’s going to be finished next and something really random might come jumping in, but at the moment I’m trying to direct most of my energies at a slightly longer fic I’ve been working on for months (not The Long Fic, a different one), a fic labeled “9.01 memory loss fic”, another one temporarly entitled “Perfect Kauai beach house vacation”, and maybe an ace!Steve fic I’ve been working on, if I ever manage to uh, actually finish that, instead of rewriting three sentences during every round of editing and never actually adding anything to fill in the gaps it still has. There will also be more season 10 codas, in all likelihood.

Do You Accept Prompts: I’ve never done that before in the traditional way, but I’m thinking about it! I’d love to try (and it would be a breath of fresh air, in some ways!), but the main thing holding me back is that I have way too much on my plate with just my own ideas to work off of, and I don’t want to disappoint people. Maybe if I do drabble-ish prompt fills? It’s definitely been on my mind.

Upcoming Story You’re the Most Excited For: I’m excited for a lot of stuff, but honestly, the top spot right now probably goes to the ace!Steve fic. I’m not even sure it’s that good, necessarily, but it’s, idk, really cathartic, I suppose. Seriously self-indulgent in strange but very good ways. I really like writing it. (Second spot goes to the beach vacation fic, because I haven’t actually written that much for it, but it’s been my go-to easy happy place for the last few weeks.)

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I’m tagging @love2hulksmash @thekristen999 @stephmcx @girlonastring @flowerfan2 and @pterawaters, which is six people because I can’t count, but I’m about to make it seven because I’m also tagging you, the person reading this (hi there!). Say I tagged you and tag me so I can read it! I know that kind of thing can feel awkward, but it won’t be, because I’m cheering you on. Go for it, if you want to do it. :D

[1dffexchange]

Warm Blood

To: Eriza @booksncoffee

From: Natasha @wokeuptired​

Summary: This is ridiculous, and Carver knows it.

She doesn’t even know his name, and he’s all she can think about. One kiss at an office Christmas party—an office where she doesn’t even work most of the time—and she can’t get him off her mind. 

It doesn’t help that she’s spending a week working in said office, sitting at a neat freak’s desk and trying not to leave fingerprints behind while looking over her shoulder every five minutes to see if he—Mistletoe Boy—is at the coffee pot. 

She’s beginning to think she dreamed him up.

ONE.

Carver Cantrell is not somebody who makes stupid decisions.

That is the first thing she would want you to know about her: this is not her modus operandus. She is not the kind of girl who buys a plane ticket and jets off to Paris on a whim. She doesn’t purchase expensive articles of clothing without stalking them online for a few weeks first. The wildest evening she has is when she orders something different from the Chinese place on the corner. Nobody would ever call her a wild child.

And she certainly doesn’t kiss boys she’s never met under the mistletoe at the office holiday party just because she feels like it.

Except she just did.

“Wow.”

Carver pulls back, unsure of which of them said that, her or the guy she’s just been locking lips with. Her heart is beating so loud she can hear it in her ears, and she can feel her blood hot in her cheeks. His eyes are bright blue, so blue she can feel them in her toes.

Which is a feeling she’s never felt before. Crazy, because Carver thought, right before this second, that she’d felt them all.

Her emotions have tended towards the severe ever since she was a kid. Imagine six year-old Carver, throwing a fit at the supermarket because her favorite cereal was out of stock, and her helpless mother, standing three feet away with her hands up so that other shoppers wouldn’t assume she was the cause of the tantrum. Skip to middle school, when Carver didn’t eat for two days after she and her best friend—the same Jess whom she roomed with in college, walked beside at graduation, and is currently accompanying to this party—had a fight. Just last month, she watched a Hallmark movie where a woman reunited with her teenage love after twenty-five years, and she sobbed for an hour.

Anger, sadness, happiness—Carver has always felt them all in extremes. She’s learned over the years to take deep breaths until the emotions calm down so she can figure out which ones to listen to before she acts, but they’re still there, nonetheless.

Like two minutes ago, when she turned a corner on her way to the restroom and walked right into the sturdy chest of the guy who currently has his arms wrapped around her. He sparked something in her right away, and the inches they’ve just put between them have done nothing to dampen that flame.

“Sorry,” he says. He tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, his fingertips warm. “I probably shouldn’t have done that.”

This is where she should say something like, “Fuck that, do it again!” but her mind draws a blank. Her brain is too busy considering his accent, which is decidedly not California surfer boy like every boy she’s dated since she moved here a year ago, to come up with something witty to fire back at him.

“Hey, Car—”

She looks over my shoulder to see Jess coming around the corner. She has a plate in her hand piled high with Carver’s weakness: angel food cake, the literal food of angels.

“I found this,” she says, holding it out. “And you. And, you’re busy, apparently—who’s this?”

Carver follows her gaze back to the boy in question, who’s pushing a hand through his hair and grinning. His hair looks like it’s straight out of a shampoo commercial. She should’ve touched it during their kiss. What a missed opportunity.

“Sorry, I—I was actually on my way out,” he says. His eyes return to her as he brushes a fingertip across her cheek before stepping back. “It was nice to meet you.”

“You too,” she manages before he turns away and disappears around the corner.

Jess grabs her elbow. “What was that? Who was that?”

Carver lets her tug her back into the party. “I have no idea.”

Five minutes later, Carver’s shoveling angel food cake into her mouth and recounting the last hour as Jess rambles on with the office manager, Kayla. Michael Buble’s Christmas album plays in the background, stockings hang on the wall, and a small Christmas tree sits in the corner, but nothing can disguise the fact that this is an office. A well-designed office, but an office nonetheless.

Jess has worked for West & Up for a year, and Carver’s going on month three. West & Up is one of those newer companies that’s popped up as interior design has become accessible to anybody with internet access. It’s part online home goods retailer (think Wayfair but a bit less fashionable), part interior design firm. Jess does web design, and Carver crunch numbers.

They both work in the Century City office, where a bunch of nerds in glasses occupy cubicles in a decidedly less fashionable building right next to the freeway. Carver had never been to the Santa Monica office before tonight, and she’s definitely been missing out, because not only can you smell the ocean from the balcony, cute boys also work here.

One cute boy in particular.

Carver has never felt such an instant connection with someone before, and she can already tell it’s going to consume me. This is how her mind works: it can only focus on one thing at a time, and that one thing nearly always becomes an obsession. That’s why she’s so good at math. Her OCD keeps her doing problems over and over again until she’s sure they’re perfect. And her OCD will no doubt have her going over that kiss incessantly.  

“Carver, it’s going to be so great to have you here in January,” Kayla says. “I’m so happy you said yes.”

Carver swallows a bite of angel food cake and fakes a smile. Truth be told, she’s not looking forward to her temporary reassignment to the Santa Monica office. She hates changes to her routine, and she hates things that aren’t her choice. Kayla says she agreed, but when her supervisor presented it to her, it didn’t really seem like saying no was an option.

“I’m really excited to see how things work around here,” she says, which is about the best answer she can manage without the unrelenting guilt she always feels when she lies. She doesn’t tell Kayla she doesn’t understand why she can’t continue her internal audit of the company from her own cubicle.  

She has a slight suspicion that she’s going to arrive for her first day in January and be instructed to count the pens in the copy room.

TWO.

Kayla Warner is not the kind of person who takes no for an answer.

This is typically something that works in Niall’s favor, because Kayla is the office manager and when she’s on your side, she gets shit done. Niall befriended her on his first day at West & Up, and ever since, she’s been going to war for him. She got him the best cubicle (aka the one furthest from the break room), always makes sure he leaves promptly at five, even if she has to drag him out herself, and never fails to order his favorite brand of pens. Usually Kayla Warner is his hero.

But now that she’s decided to be his matchmaker, he’s moving her decidedly into the “villain” column. Once Kayla has an idea in her head, there’s absolutely no talking her out of it. Which doesn’t mean Niall isn’t going to try.

THIS IS A BAD IDEA.

Niall watches as three little dots appear on his phone, showing that Kayla is responding to his all-caps message. He never should’ve told her about Mistletoe Girl in the first place, but Kayla could tell that something was up when he suddenly appeared way more interested in Kayla’s incessant stream of office gossip than he used to be. Kayla practically sniffed it on him.

“You kissed somebody at the Christmas party, didn’t you?” she demanded, the question mark only there out of politeness. Kayla’s like a bloodhound when it comes to secrets, especially secrets related to the affairs of the heart.

Not that Niall’s heart is involved here. He really doesn’t want it to be, because it shouldn’t be, not after one kiss. Even if it was the most perfect kiss he’s ever experienced in all his years of kissing–barely a decade, so he wouldn’t exactly call himself an expert, but he knows a good kiss when he sees it.

Kayla’s still typing, so Niall navigates away from the text message thread and opens Instagram. He’d scoured the employee profiles a zillion times over the past few weeks searching for Mistletoe Girl, looking at all the Carters and Carolyns and Carlas that work for the company, and he couldn’t find her. But now, thanks to Kayla, he knows her name, her actual name, so he can stalk her on social media.

Carver Cantrell. Her profile is private, so Niall can’t see much beyond her bio and her profile picture (her smiling face pressed up against a puppy’s much smaller one), but it’s gratifying to know that she’s real. It’s a relief to know that he didn’t imagine the whole thing. And it’s nice to know that she loves dogs. Loving dogs is a good sign.

Niall doesn’t blame himself for questioning his sanity. It was like something out of a romance film, wasn’t it? Kayla’s obsessed with those things, “Love Actually” and “27 Dresses” and all that. It’s not every day that you’re on the way back from the bathroom at the dreaded office Christmas party when a cute girl crashes into you right under the mistletoe. And it’s certainly not every day that a kiss with a stranger makes you reexamine the way you look at the world.

Kayla’s reply rolls in, distracting Niall from reading Carver’s bio for the hundredth time.

THIS IS A GREAT IDEA

YOU CAN LEAVE HER CHOCOLATE AND FLIRTY NOTES ON YOUR DESK

I’M A FUCKING GENIUS

The messages arrive one after the other in rapid succession. Kayla texts like she talks: without breathing. It overwhelmed Niall when they first met, the speed at which Kayla thinks and talks and moves, but he’s slightly less intimidated by her now. Slightly.

Sighing, Niall clicks through to the text thread and hits the call button. It only rings once before Kayla picks up.

“You’re not going to be able to talk me out of this,” she says. Something clangs in the background; she’s probably making cookies again.

“It’s a terrible idea in every way,” Niall says. He stands from the couch and goes into the kitchen. Speaking with Kayla always makes him feel like he’s not doing enough. Like he ought to be doing at least 6 things simultaneously while talking to her. “You know I hate people in my workspace. It’s like you’re making us move in together, and we’ve barely even spoken.”

Kayla laughs. “Exactly. This is a great trial run. I’m pretty sure she’s just as much of a neat freak as you are, but if she’s not, you’ll be able to tell, and then you can abort the mission.”

“I want to abort the mission already.” Niall opens the fridge and starts unloading it of containers full of leftovers that should’ve been thrown out weeks ago. “You’re the one who’s not letting me.”

“That’s because I am your best friend and I care about your well-being.”

“But—”

“I’m not hearing it, Niall Horan,” Kayla says. “Now stop pretending to clean your kitchen, hang up the phone, and figure out a plan for tomorrow, will you? I can’t do everything for you.”

“Are you sure you can’t?” Niall asks. “Because you’ve done the rest of this for me. So I think you could just—”

“Don’t be facetious, Niall, it doesn’t suit you,” Kayla says before hanging up.

Sometimes Kayla reminds Niall of his mother, and since she’s far away across the Atlantic Ocean, he doesn’t really mind that.

Except right now. Right now, it’s driving him crazy.

THREE.

On Monday, January 7th, Carver parks her car in the lot outside West & Up’s Santa Monica office. She’s ten minutes early, and she fully intends to use all ten of those minutes to have a panic attack in her car.

There’s a post-it on her dashboard that, at her therapist’s suggestion, reads, “EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE,” and she repeats that aloud to herself a few times, but it doesn’t help. She makes a list in her mind of all the things that could go wrong. Maybe her cubicle neighbor will smell like baloney sandwiches. Maybe she will embarrass herself in front of the CEO. Or, maybe, worst of all, she might run into Mistletoe Boy.

She’s done her best over the past couple of weeks to forget about him, but she hasn’t gotten very far. And Jess’s constant mentioning of the kiss hasn’t helped things. She’s scoured the employee profiles on the company website for the guy with the soft lips and the foreign accent that Carver kissed at the Christmas party, and she’s come up empty.

“He must be one of the ones with no photo,” Jess has insisted multiple times.

“Or maybe he doesn’t work at West & Up anymore,” Carver told Jess last night as she was waxing on about how her chances of running into him again were about to increase exponentially. “Or maybe he never did, and he was crashing the party and that’s why he ducked away so fast. Or maybe he’s engaged to one of the girls from HR, or—”

“Or maybe you’re looking for excuses,” Jess said, jabbing an elbow into Carver’s side. They were watching “Set It Up” on Netflix for the zillionth time, and Jess had paused in speaking all the lines along with the actors to remind Carver that she may have watched her chance at one true love walk out the door a few weeks back. “Do not hide in your cubicle for the next week, okay? You need to, like, make yourself visible.”

“How do you suppose I do that?”

“Go to the coffee machine, like, all the time. Introduce yourself to everyone you can.” Jess turned to Carver, her eyes wide, her tone serious. “And, for the love of God, make a fucking move if you see him again.”

Carver tries not to think about that right now, as she squints into the sunlight and curse herself, again, for leaving the house without her sunglasses this morning, as that’s basically a death sentence in Los Angeles.

She reads her post-it again: “EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE.”

Then she takes a deep breath and opens the car door.

Kayla practically pounces on her when the elevator doors open on the third floor. She checks Carver in and shows her where the restroom is and babbles the entire time about how great her New Year’s was and how she hopes Carver’s was great too and did she watch the ball drop this year?   

“You can use Horan’s desk,” she says, leading Carver through the office. It’s an open plan, desks everywhere, most of them totally cluttered. Paper everywhere, knicknacks, dusty computer screens. But the desk Kayla guides Carver to is wiped clean. “He’s one of our architects. He’s on site all week.”

“You’re sure he won’t mind?” Carver runs her eyes over the spotless desktop. There’s a pothos plant in a terra cotta pot next to a black mug holding six identical black pens, and that’s it. The only bit of personalization she can spot is a dinosaur sticker on the corner of the computer monitor. Horan, whoever he is, clearly values cleanliness over, well, pretty much everything else.

It actually reminds Carver a little bit of her workspace, but at least she’s got more than one plant.

“Oh, yeah,” Kayla says. “He won’t care. He might come by in the evenings, though, so you should be out of here by five if you can, and don’t leave anything lying around. He’s a bit of a neat freak.”

“Right.” Carver pushes the keyboard out of the way and puts her laptop on the desk. “I’ll be out of here by five.”

“You know where I am if you need anything. See you at lunch!” Kayla calls as she disappears around the corner

Carver opens her laptop and clicks through her email to the spreadsheets the company wants her to look through. Luckily she hasn’t been asked to count any pencils yet, but the day is still young.

By lunch time, her fingers hurt and her eyes are dry. Kayla takes her to a salad place across the street, and Carver forces myself to choke down kale topped with assorted vegetables. When she was younger, she believed that she’d magically develop a taste for salad once she reached her twenties, since it’s what twenty-something professionals always ate for lunch on tv shows, but it hasn’t happened yet.

Then she returns to Horan’s immaculate cubicle, puts her earbuds in, and zones into the work. She used to think that she’d have to hate her job in her twenties, just as she’d have to love salads, but the truth is, she loves it. She loves columns of numbers and when there’s a knot in the data she has to untangle. She loves losing herself in it, because in the numbers there is always an answer.

In life, there often aren’t answers, and she’s not a fan of ambiguity.

Before she leaves, she can’t resist opening the top drawer to see if that’s where the owner of this desk hides his mess. But, no, it’s just as organized as the surface. Plastic bins hold pens, paperclips, pencils, and post-its, all in separate sections. There isn’t a thing out of place. She wonders if he uses dinner plates with dividers, too.

Carver snags a bright pink post-it out of the drawer and scrawls a quick note on it before sticking it to the monitor.

Thanks for letting me use your desk. I tried not to leave too many fingerprints. Sorry for snooping through your drawer, but I wanted to find your organizational weakness. Apparently you don’t have any. Congratulations. - Carver

FOUR.

Niall chickened out.

After all that berating last night and a pep talk via text from Kayla this morning, he chickened out. He didn’t leave anything at his desk for Carver, and, to top it off, he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about it.

Every day at the Wilson project is a busy day, and today was no exception. This morning, two of the guys ripped out the old range and found faulty wiring, which is a remodel nightmare second only to flooding. That should’ve been enough to distract Niall, but it wasn’t. He pulled out a pen to make some notes and wondered what kind of pens Carver likes. He looked at granite samples with the Wilsons and wondered if Carver would think the black countertop would darken the room.

And then he thought about how fucked up it was that he was thinking about what Carver would think, considering he doesn’t even know her. Fucked up and creepy.

But here he is anyway, driving to the office in 5 o’clock traffic to see if Carver’s left any mark on his cuble. A very small, slightly creepy part of him is hoping he’ll be able to catch a trace of her perfume lingering in the air. He doesn’t have the vocabulary to describe scents, but he smelled it on her the night they kissed, and he knows he’ll recognize it instantly if he smells it again.

Kayla’s already left, which means he doesn’t have to face an interrogation when he passes her desk. The entire office is pretty much cleared out, which is how he likes it. Honestly,if he could work from home, he would. Other people are exhausting.

Which is part of the reason he’s afraid, he thinks, of meeting Carver. He’s idealized her so much in his head, but what if when he meets her, really meets her, she’s boring? Or annoying or just plain exhausting? What if spending time with her makes him wish he were spending time alone? The disappointment could crush him.

Which is why it’s easier to pretend he doesn’t care.

As he rounds the corner towards his cubicle, his heartbeat quickens, which is a total betrayal of his attempts to be nonchalant about this whole thing. He takes a deep breath, but it doesn’t help. Then his desk comes to view.

Nothing appears to be amiss. His chair is tucked in just the way he likes it, all of his black pens are still in their black mug, and his dinosaur sticker hasn’t moved. But—

Wait, what is that?

Niall grabs the post-it off the monitor and brings it up to his face. Is this Carver’s handwriting? It’s much neater than he’d expected based on the way her hair was slightly askew at the party. One’s general upkeep, he’s noticed, tends to belay their handwriting, and their handwriting reflects their level of organizational mastery.

Niall’s own hair is always flawless.

He reads the note to himself a couple of times, smiling at the mention of fingerprints. Apparently Carver has a sense of humor. And she might like post-its just as much as he does.

Hmm. Niall takes a seat at his desk, opens the drawer for another post-it, and grabs a pen. Time to come up with something clever to say in response.

FIVE.

In the morning, there’s a new post-it note on the monitor. Carver grins when she first sees it, because she’s always loved the idea of penpals, letters exchanged between strangers. She’s never had one herself, but novels always made it seem like you could tell your friend who lived worlds away things you couldn’t tell your BFF who lived next door.

Carver doesn’t have any such expectations of Niall Horan, of course, but it still makes her a bit giddy to see that he’s written her back.

But that feeling disappears as soon as she reads the note.

Thanks for your note, and thanks for keeping my desk clean. I don’t know what you’ve heard about me, but I don’t really mind fingerprints. As long as there aren’t too many. And you keep them off the computer screen. You have neat handwriting, though, so I think I can live with you using my desk for the week. - Niall

Carver turns the post-it face-down on the desk. Maybe she was slightly rude in my post-it, but his message is ruder. “I can live with you using my desk for a week”—who talks to a stranger like that? It might be sarcasm, but he should know better than to be sarcastic in a note. There’s no room for nuance in a post-it note, they’re much too small.

What Carver wants to say in response is also much too long for a post-it note, so she yanks open the top drawer in search of notepaper. Her desk back in her cubicle hosts a variety of cute notepads and post-its, but all she can find in Niall’s desk is a small yellow legal pad. Despite its unattractiveness, it’ll have to do.

She does decorate the corner with a giant flower, though, courtesy of one of Niall’s five identical black pens.

Dear Niall,

Thanks for your note. I appreciate that you can live with me using your desk for a week, although I’d like you to know that I’d gladly vacate for another workspace if given the chance, since you seem like an asshole. Is that your weakness? You don’t know how to be nice to strangers on post-it notes? Good luck with that. I hope you enjoy being alone.

Note written—or at least started; Carver thinks she might have more to say later—she shoves it under Niall’s keyboard and opens her laptop. She’ll leave it there for the day, keeping it in the back of her mind, and right before she leaves, she’ll decided whether or not to leave it.

No impulsive decisions, even in anger.

Except maybe she should be impulsive. Maybe she should stand up for herself, even though there may be negative consequences, like an even ruder reply tomorrow, or a chastising by Kayla or even a meeting with HR for inter-office harassment.

Carver goes back and forth about it all morning. She spends a bit of mental energy regretting leaving a note at all yesterday, and then a bit more energy wishing she’d asked Kayla more questions about the owner of the desk. Like, is he a nutcase? Is he obsessed with fingerprints? Because he catalogues them? Because he’s a crazy, stalking, murdering, psychopath?

By lunch time, Carver feels like she’s bursting at the seams. Kayla shows up for lunch, and Carver practically leaps out of her seat. They barely make it out of the building before Carver brings it up.

“Hey, so this Horan guy? What’s he like?”

Kayla looks over her shoulder as she pushes out the front door of the building and into the sunlight. “Why do you ask?”

Carver wrinkles her nose at Kayla’s smile. “He left me a super rude note.”

The smile drops instantly. “What?”

Carver squints into the sunlight and stops to fish her sunglasses out of her purse. “Yeah,” she says to Kayla. “I left him a note last night, thanking him for letting me use his desk and whatnot, and I come in this morning to a note that’s like, don’t leave too many fingerprints and I won’t kill you.”

“What? There’s no way Niall wrote that,” Kayla says.

Carver follows her into the same salad place as yesterday. “I mean, I may’ve exaggerated a little. But that was the gist of it.”

The conversation pauses as Carver orders her food—the same salad as yesterday—but Kayla brings it up again as soon as the two of them are seated. The restaurant isn’t exactly quiet, but Kayla is not the kind of person, Carver’s beginning to realize, who lets a loud space hinder her conversation.

“Niall is not an asshole, I promise,” Kayla says. She extracts a metal straw out of her bag and sticks it in her drink. “He’s just not that good at people.”

“What?”

Kayla shrugs. “Listen, I’ve been friends with him for three years. He doesn’t always make the best first impression. Like, he tries, but it’s hard for him.”

What? Carver thinks the question this time instead of voicing it. She understands being socially awkward, but the best thing about written correspondence is that you can revise it a thousand times before sending it off (or, as it were, leaving it taped to a monitor).

“Like, okay,” Kayla continues. “He probably thought he was being funny. But he’s such a dingbat he doesn’t realize that sarcasm doesn’t translate when it’s written down, or he thought he was making a joke and he didn’t realize that he’s not funny. Like, he’s really not funny.”

Carver tries to think of something to say in response, but she finds herself coming up empty. Kayla’s trying to apologize for Niall, but Carver’s realizing that she really doesn’t want to hear it. Luckily her salad arrives, saving her. She shoves a forkful of lettuce into her mouth and chews as Kayla rambles on.

Finally, Kayla pauses, so Carver asks what she really wants to know. “So, do you think I should write back?”

Kayla’s fork hovers in the air on its way to her mouth. “Do you want to write back?”

Carver blinks. “I don’t know what I want to do.”

“Well, I’m a firm believer that you should do whatever feels right to you,” Kayla says, setting her fork down. “So maybe what you need to do is figure out what it is you want to do.”

Carver nods, repeating that over and over in her head until it starts to make sense.

At least, the words make sense. She still has no idea whether or not she should leave the note.

SIX.

“I wrote her a note.”

“Yeah, I know, you idiot,” Kayla says sharply. “What the fuck were you thinking?”

Niall nearly drops his phone. That would be especially bad considering he’s currently squatting over a puddle of water in the middle of the Wilson construction site. He’s downgrading it from kitchen to construction site, since every 10 minutes a new problem arises that requires something else to be ripped out or torn up. The drywall is gone, revealing rotting studs, and when they pulled up the tile this morning, they found mold in the floorboards.

This house isn’t even old. Niall doesn’t understand it.

But he has to deal with it nonetheless.

“What are you talking about?” he asks.

“She asked me about you,” Kayla says. She’s whispering, like maybe she’s sitting at her desk right now and doesn’t want to be overheard. “Hold on, let me go outside.”

Niall stands up and turns his back on the other guys staring hopelessly into the puddle. He walks into the Wilsons’ backyard, which borders a strip of land known for being a mountain lion hotspot. When he first moved to LA, Niall was fascinated with them, with P-22 and his brave freeway crossings (both the 405 and the 101) and  his adventures around Griffith Park. Experts say that P-22 will probably never leave Griffith Park’s 8 square miles, which is only half a victory. He’ll be safe because he’s the only male mountain lion living there, but he’ll never mate. His line will end with him.

Niall isn’t nearly as pessimistic about his own future, but he does have a few things in common with P-22. In a city surrounded by people, sometimes he feels like he’s living on an island. Anyone who wants to get to him will have to cross treacherous territory.

“Okay, I’m back,” Kayla says in Niall’s ear. “Now tell me what the fuck you were thinking, please.”

“I still don’t know what you’re talking about,” Niall says.

“Your note! You were a total asshole. At lunch today Carver was like, who is this guy and what the heck is his problem? And she’s totally right. What the heck is your problem?”

Right now Niall’s problem is that Kayla doesn’t seem to be planning on letting him get a word in. “Well—”

“Stop talking. I’ll tell you what’s wrong with you. You don’t know how to be nice to people because you are afraid of making authentic connections because then someone might get close enough to see that you’re as perfect as you pretend to be.”

“Hey—”

“It’s not your turn, idiot. You need to fix this now, because you haven’t completely ruined your chances, but you’re close, I can tell you that. I tried to tell Carver that you’re just bad at first impressions, but she wasn’t hearing it. Like, she literally zoned out and stopped listening to me.”

Niall feels like doing that right now. He also feels like jumping headfirst into the Wilsons’ pool, or throwing his phone in so the water can drown out Kayla’s voice. Or maybe he should leave his phone here and walk off into the forest and make a new home with P-22. The mountain lion won’t judge him. It might attack him, but it certainly won’t do so while calling him an idiot.

No, Niall can do that himself. He definitely feels stupid right now. He thought he was being witty and maybe even flirty, but clearly none of that came across. Instead he made himself look like an asshole, and he’s probably completely ruined his chances with Carver, who—he can admit this to himself, even if he hasn’t said it out loud—might be the one girl who could save him from a P-22 fate.

“So figure out a plan, Niall, because Carver is probably sitting at your desk right now writing a note to you about how much of a dickhead you’re being, and your deserve it!” Final words voiced, Kayla hangs up.

Niall sighs, allows himself a moment of self-pity, and opens the notes app on his phone to make a list.

Before end of work day:

- Call plumber

- Figure out how to explain further delay to Wilsons

- Call Wilsons, explain, apologize

- File report with office

By tomorrow AM:

- Fix Carver problem

- Refill gas tank

- Sleep?

It’s shaping up to be a busy afternoon.

SEVEN.

Carver wakes up the next morning feeling perfectly normal, and then she remembers what she decided. Before she left the office, she pulled her note out from underneath Niall’s keyboard, signed her name to it with a flourish, and taped it to his monitor.

She sits up in bed, overcome with a wave of nausea. Assuming Niall went to the office last night, which he most likely did because he seems like the kind of person who follows his routines religiously, without exception, there is going to be a note waiting for her, and it’s probably not going to be a nice one.

But when she gets to Niall’s desk, there’s nothing there. Her note is gone, but there isn’t a new one.

Fuck. There are so many things this could mean. Maybe he read her note and was so annoyed by it that he decided she wasn’t worth responding to. Maybe he laughed and crumbled it up into a ball and tossed it over his shoulder as he walked through the parking lot to his car. Or maybe a janitor threw it away and he never even saw it.

Carver pushes it out of her mind, though, because she has work to do. There are numbers to be crunched and data to be sorted and there is plenty to distract her anxious mind.   

But she can’t get the note out of her head. How did he react to her note? Why didn’t he respond? Is she a terrible person for leaving it in the first place?

Just before 11 AM, Kayla pops her head over the edge of the cubicle, a mug of coffee in her hands. “Morning,” she says. “Can you do me a favor?”

Carver minimizes my spreadsheet and grins. “Of course. I need a break anyway.” That isn’t an overstatement. With all the circles her brain has been going in, Carver wonders how she managed to get anything done this morning.

“Great.” Kayla holds out a manila envelope. “Can you take an early lunch and drop this off for Horan at the Wilson house?”

Drop this off for Horan. Oh, shit.

“Of course,” Carver says, but meanwhile her brain is having a heart attack. She hates spur of the moment plans, she hates going to places she’s never been before, and mostly she hates that she might be about to confront Niall in a place she’s never been before, where she can’t control anything.

She can’t say any of that out loud, though, so she takes the envelope from Kayla and puts the address Kayla gives her into Google maps on her phone. She blasts the “Mamma Mia” soundtrack on the drive, but it doesn’t help calm her nerves.

Even though the house isn’t geographically that far away, it takes nearly half an hour to get there, which must be why Kayla told Carver she wouldn’t expect her back before two.  Los Angeles traffic is no exaggeration.

She parks her car at the end of a long driveway and pushes her sunglasses onto her head. She remembered them this morning, but she doesn’t think they’re going to save her from whatever is going to happen at the top of the drive.

The house is the first thing that shocks her. It’s beautiful, and that’s not a term she typically uses to describe architecture. She may work for West & Co., but she’s a math geek. She’s a human computer. She doesn’t have a natural taste for beautiful construction, but this she recognizes. It’s two stories and massive but not obviously so, because the facade has varying heights and it doesn’t look like an imposing box. She can tell, though, that the people who live here are loaded. There are mediterranean stones and slightly tinted window panes and she can just bet that the back of the house is entirely glass to give the residents the best possible view of the hills behind.  

She walks through a beautifully manicured front yard to find that the front door is open, so she goes inside without knocking. The front hall is two stories high, and a living room with mid-century modern furniture is on the right. It looks like it belongs in an Architectural Digest celebrity home tour on youtube. There is no clutter anywhere, like maybe no one lives in this house and it’s actually just used for filming and photoshoots.

Carver follows the sound of hammers through to the kitchen at the back of the house. There are floor to ceiling windows, just like she expected, and even though the kitchen is entirely deconstructed—it looks like custom cabinets are currently being installed—she can already tell it’s going to be beautiful.

“Hey, Horan!”

Shit. Carver follows the direction of the shout and steps further into the kitchen, and that’s when she sees him.

He’s outside, so they’re separated by a massive kitchen and a sliding glass door, but it’s definitely him.

It’s Mistletoe Boy.

It can’t be, though, right? He can’t be Niall. Niall can’t be him. They can’t be the same person.

But then somebody shouts, “Horan!” again and Mistletoe Boy turns and, oh shit, he’s coming this way, and Carver definitely cannot deal with this right now. She backtracks out of the house and grabs a construction worker who’s just coming in.

“Can you give this to Horan?” she asks, holding out the envelope. The guy wrinkles his brow, but he shrugs and takes the envelope. “Thanks,” Carver says, and then she practically runs to her car.

Carver starts the engine as she’s buckling her seatbelt (even though her mother taught her never to do that), and she drives out of the neighborhood with her heart attempting to beat its way out of her chest. She pulls into the first parking lot she sees, shuts off her car, and leans her head on the dashboard.

Of all the things to happen today, it had to be this. She had to find out that Mistletoe Boy and desk asshole Niall Horan are the same person, and that had to happen at his construction sight and it had to be a total surprise, and now she’s sitting in her car in a parking lot outside of a Whole Foods and this is fucking Beverly Hills or something (Carver really doesn’t know where the fuck she is right now) and she’s probably going to get arrested for having a panic attack in her car.

Deep breaths, Carver, her voice of reason tells her, and she leans her head back and tries to listen. Her dashboard post-it tells her that “EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE” but that doesn’t seem realistic right now.

Nonetheless, Carver says it out loud.

“Everything will be fine,” she tells the steering wheel.

“Everything will be fine,” she tells her bitten-down fingernails.

“Everything will be fine,” she tells her purse, haphazardly thrown on the floor on the passenger’s side as she rushed away from the Wilson house.

“Everything will be fine,” she tells herself.

Then someone knocks on her window, causing her to shriek.

Everything is not going to be fine.

EIGHT.

Carver looks up, eyes wide, and Niall regrets this immediately. When he saw Carver rushing to her car looking as though she’d seen a ghost, he knew instantly that she saw him, realized who he was, and panicked. His brain told him that if he let her go now, he might never see her again.

So he followed her out. He jumped in his truck and trailed her car out of the Wilsons’ fancy neighborhood and into the parking lot of a Whole Foods. Whole Foods is a store that he generally tries to avoid because the prices are ridiculous and all of the Prius drivers in the parking lot give him dirty looks when he parks his truck, but none of that matters right now.

What does matter is Carver, and she looks like she would rather cry than talk to him.

Too bad, because for the first time in a long time, Niall doesn’t want to walk away from this problem.

He meets Carver’s eyes and waves. She grimaces, so he tries to smile. Carver closes her eyes, takes a visible deep breath, and reaches for the door handle.

“Shit.” Niall takes a step back, out of her way, and tries not to panic. He didn’t really think this part through. What the hell is he going to say to this girl? This girl of his dreams? The girl who is now standing in front of him, leaning against her closed car door, looking up at him like he’s already broken her heart.

Damn, what a mess. Niall hates messes.

“Hi,” he says.

“Hi,” Carver says. She looks exactly as he remembered her: green eyes, blond wavy hair, oversize glasses. Just as cute as she was before Christmas.

He said hi, then she said hi, so it’s his turn again. Unfortunately, his mind is blank.

This was much easier in December, when they were standing in the dark under the mistletoe and Niall didn’t yet know that the kiss they were about to share would haunt him for several weeks following.

“Sorry about the note I left you,” Carver says, saving his ass. “I shouldn’t have written any of that.”

Niall shakes his head. “No, I deserved it. I’m a terrible note writer.”

Carver bites her lip; she’s either holding back a smile or a frown. “You could definitely use some practice.” It’s definitely a smile.

Niall smiles back. “Will you let me try again tomorrow?”

Carver nods.

NINE.

Dear Carver,

This is what I should’ve written in the first note: I knew that you were using my desk, and by that I mean that I remember you from the Christmas party. I’m glad that you’re using my desk, but what I’d like better is if you’d go out on a date with me. I think you’re kind and funny and sweet, and I want to learn more about you.

Best,

Niall

TEN.

Dear Niall,

Yes.

- Carver