#it's never what it says it's how I'm explaining how it's wrong!

[sainztropez]

✧ mr. wrong - smau ✧

⋆° summary: in the spotlight of Formula 1 and heartbreak pop, yn and charles leclerc’s whirlwind romance spirals from “first and last love” to cryptic posts, bitter lyrics, and emotional fallout. love burns fast on the paddock but heartbreak burns faster.

⋆° pairings: charles leclerc x verstappen!singer!reader x ? ⋆° genre: some angst, some fluff (it'll come). lots of drama and mainly musical. ⋆° warnings: cheating, swear words.

part 2 here

2020

liked by charles_leclerc16, maxverstappen1 and 1.524.000 users

yn he finally grew a pair and asked me out. my 1st and last. tagged charles_leclerc16

maxverstappen1 please leave me this yn you were my cupid maxverstappen1 lying like that? ❤️ liked by author

user so no one's gonna talk about the age difference

user cuties

user hope to see yn around the paddock sometime! ❤️ liked by author

lando mf finally did it yn stooooop charles_leclerc16 get over it i'm her first love

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc16 and 2,000,000 users

yn Sports Car single out now! Check out.

charles_leclerc16 my yn ❤️

charles_leclerc16 love you babygirl maxverstappen1 gross charles_leclerc16 love you too babyboy ❤️ liked by author yn thats the lestappen i ship charles_leclerc16 you're not for real

lando cool car ❤️ liked by author

carlossainz55 charles_leclerc16 i'm in your walls charles_leclerc16 what's with the jealousy? last time i checked her last name was verstappen not sainz... yn stop it you two!!!

user i'm so jealous of charles... why does he get to have her all to himself he doesn't deserve yn

user leclerc i wasn't familiar with your game

user "we can uh uh in it while you drive real far" wheres my baby yn? that sang about being "Enchanted to meet her prince"? user she's always been a lowkey freak with charles... user wait am i behind on chayn lore? user girrrrrl she used to be a bug about him, saying he was her first and last crush. even max got tired of it and eventually set them up lmao user a woman that years is a woman that earns!

liked by user, user, user and 125,002 users

f1gossip Legendary singer Y/n (born Yn Verstappen) talks about her relationship with Ferrari's golden boy Charles Leclerc. "So... How do I start it? I mean, since my first album it's pretty obvious that I'm in love with Charles for a really long long time. I started bugging him about going on a date with me since last year and he wasn't being really easy — eventually he gave up and asked me out. I've never been happier." — says Yn to Jimmy Fallon in a interview last night. The singer also explains some of the songs that appear on her latest album and claims Charles as her inspirational muse. "To be really honest he's always been my muse... ever since Enchanted and You belong with me, which is a song that I'm kind of shy about now that everyone knows I was being petty. So, well... if you ask me about the songs in my new album, I'll probably have the same answer."

user how's this any related with racing?

user i can't believe people complain about this account... there's lots of accounts that only posts race stats and stuff like that. this one is for gossip bitches like me... ❤️ liked by author

user am i the only one that thinks yn is kinda the giver in this relationship? i mean she's always supporting him and i don't see the same user ngl i kinda agree user atp i think shes obsessed with having him

february 2024 - almost 4 years into the relationship

liked by user, user, user and 154,000 users

f1wagsnews Trouble in paradise? Charles Leclerc spotted with mysterious brunette woman in Maranello. Is our Yn suddenly capable of being in two places at once? Has our Yn ditched her signature golden locks?

user charles leclerc is just a man anyway

user ughhh I swear she'd still stay with him even after he cheated user you dont even know if its him user regardless i aint wrong mmhm

comments section closed

texts between yn and charles

march 2024

♪ Like a tattoo - yn

liked by carlossainz55, iamrebecad, oscarpiastri and 4,254,449 users

yn best four years of my life (ps. leo loves me more)

charles_leclerc16 j'taime bébé (ps. he doesn't) yn he knows mommy charles_leclerc16 i know too yn stop... pr's gonna catch us.

maxverstappen1 love you baby sis ❤️ liked by author yn love you baby bro

lando be safe buggy ❤️ liked by author user even lando is fed up with charles bs

carlossainz55 you'll have to stop hanging around ferrari's garage you knoooow ❤️ liked by author

iamrebecad cutieeees <3 ❤️ liked by author

comments section has been limited

liked by yn, iamrebecad, alexsaintmlux and 1,022,544 users

charles_leclerc16 one and only

yn love you babyboy ❤️ liked by author

maxverstappen1 watch out

alexsaintmlux 🔒 couple goals ❤️ user whos this and why does only charles follow her ? user rumour has it they met in Maranello last month user yall dont know these people bffr

carlossainz55 they grow up so fast charles_leclerc16 stop acting like you're her dad carlossainz55 she's my daughter for real

lando cute bugs ❤️ liked by author

june 2024

liked by lando, oscarpiastri, carlossainz55 and 5,665,899 users

yn New album "Chemtrails over the country club" out now! Check it out, everyone! Love you all forever.

user are they even dating anymore?

user baby girl dropped a whole breakup album and didn't even break up

user its giving chayn ending soon... but i cant prove

maxverstappen1 gag it! ❤️ liked by author user help who teched max that word??

lando waiting for it!! yn its already out???? lando you know what... user PLEASE LET ME KNOOOOW

tatemcrae SEATED ❤️ liked by author

taylorswift my dearest little blonde, this one is magical! ❤️ liked by author

liked by lando, oscarpiastri, user and 500,444 users

f1gossip Spotted: our favorite Monégasque heartbreaker tangled up with a mysterious brunette (again!). For legal reasons, we won’t be revealing the name of his elusive flame — though Saint surely rings a divine bell. 😇

Now, while we’re still clocked into this tea shift, let’s unpack the romantic rollercoaster that's left us clutching our pearls. Judging by yn’s latest album, things weren’t exactly smooth sailing. In How to Disappear, she writes:

“I know he's in over his head but I love that man like nobody can.”

We’re sensing some toxic devotion energy…

And then there’s Happiness is a Butterfly:

“If he’s a serial killer, then what’s the worst that could happen to a girl that’s already hurt?”

Sound the alarms — that is not what Leclerc’s PR team had in mind when marketing the Perfect Couple™.

To top it all off? Yn swerved every relationship-related question in her latest interview, avoiding any mention of Leclerc like she was dodging Monaco’s turn 6.

Breakup confirmed? Not officially. But this silence screams louder than an engine rev on race day. 🏁💔

user girl’s been obsessed for years… called him her first and hopefully last. and now this?? rip chayn nation

user lando and oscar watchu doin here ? user they're messy...

user kinda chocked how max hasnt kicked his ass yet

user this bitch

user honestly? she has been my fav wag for years... i hope she's okay.

user can’t believe y’all are still riding for her… she’s been out here for years saying she might be a lil toxic and obsessed, and you still act like she’s always in the right?? Maybe the guy just wants peace user yeaaaa she's literally admitted to have a bit of a problem. let charles breathe omg. user okay charles burners accounts

user lets hope this new one is less obsessive with him

user yall charles fans are just boymoms i cant

texts between yn and charles

♪ The only exception - Paramore

liked by iamrebecad, alexsaintmlux, pierregasly and 1,221,555 users

charles_leclerc16 my alex <3 alexsaintmlux

user cant believe you even got leo into this bs

user remember when it was "my yn"? comment deleted by author

lando foul one mate charles_leclerc16 let's focus on our own business mate lando sure

alexsaintmlux je t’aime, mon bébé ❤️ liked by author user girl read the room user cant believe now her insta is open lmao

iamrebecad couple goals ❤️ liked by author alexsaintmlux my cupid user the nerve

♪ Silver Springs - 2004 remaster - Fletwood Mac

liked by carlossainz55, iamrebecad, oscarpiastri, lando and 5,025,555 users

yn Deluxe album is out now! I poured all my love into this album and I truly hope you adore it. I’d also like to take this moment to say that I’ve received so many kind messages over the past few days (P.S. I tried to read every single one). Thank you for the support — I’ll always be here.

user i'm pretty sure her team wrote that last post… she don’t talk like that

user poor yn… hope ur okay (if u somehow see this 💔)

user "time casts a spell on you but you won’t forget me’ like HELLOOO the emotional damage he did to her? user bffr she didnt even wrote this post

lando you're the greatest

oscarpiastri whos this DIVA

maxverstappen1 love you babysis

carlossainz55 coolest verstappen out there!

user she's not even replying to her friends or brother :( user not even liking their comments :(

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

it was december 2024. every trace of you on charles’s instagram was gone. posts, comments, tags — wiped clean like you’d never existed. his feed had turned into a glossy shrine to his new girl, every image meticulously curated by his pr team. even your most innocent comments on random posts, from before you ever dated, had mysteriously vanished. it was that bad. but the world would move on… or pretend to.

since the day charles ended things, you’d struggled to breathe. not metaphorically — literally. each inhale felt like dragging yourself through quicksand. you couldn’t eat. couldn’t smile. couldn’t pretend everything was fine. your closest friends, lando and oscar (by force of proximity), tried everything: junk food binges at 2 a.m., sunrise runs you reluctantly joined, desperate late-night calls. even max once attempted to bribe you out of bed with an all-expenses-paid spa weekend. nothing worked.

charles was your one and only. you’d genuinely believed you were just “going through a rough patch.” then he ghosted — no explanations, no texts, no calls — leaving you dissecting every laugh, every shared sunrise, hunting for the glitch. were you too intense? did the age gap finally become too much? was your career somehow to blame? questions piled up with no answers. charles was gone, and he made sure never to look back.

under full management control, your own instagram had turned into a digital puppet: recycled smiles, staged captions, nostalgic throwbacks with no real emotion behind them. your calendar swelled with appearances, promo shoots, album updates, and vague tour hints — others writing the chapters you’d lost control of.

then came the apex of absurdity: a performance booked for the fia’s 75th anniversary. as if forcing you to share the same air that still smelled faintly of charles’s cologne wasn’t enough. but maybe it was time. sooner or later, you’d have to wake up.

somewhere between late december and the jagged start of january, you did something you hadn’t dared in weeks. you opened instagram explore page. and there they were — post after post of charles and his new girl, smiles you’d once worn, now repainted by someone else.

shit.

you didn’t want to see it. you didn’t mean to. but you did.

and something inside you snapped.

“what do i gain from crying over him?” you thought, your mind a blank echo chamber. “did the world stop spinning?”

it didn’t. and maybe… maybe you needed to start spinning again too.

you’d stayed quiet long enough.

as the final grand prix of the year approached, a current of defiance surged through your veins. maybe it was the sound of engines. maybe it was the way the world kept turning without you. maybe you simply craved your moment back. whatever it was, you woke up and chose war, not peace.

you arrived at the track dressed to kill —not for him, not for pity, but for yourself. your signature stilettos, designed by the one and only christian louboutin just for you clicked like punctuation marks across the paddock, each step trailing confidence you didn't know you still had and chaos, 'cause theres no way you did not go there just to put gasoline into the fire, in equal measure.

down in the mclaren garage, laughter echoed off concrete walls. you slid into a seat between lando and oscar, leaning in as the three of you traded insider jokes that felt like home. oscar — someone that stepped up for you in a way you couldn't quite understand why, but he was there, trying to make you be you again; maybe it was the fact that he knew how awful is the feeling of being cheated on... or maybe he just wanted to see you happy — dared lando to something quite stupid that made lando nearly snort it out when you whispered: “loser buys dinner.” mechanics and engineers paused to watch the scene, the marketing team already having their phones out.

lando sneaked up behind you and draped a safety helmet over your head, making you shriek and punch his arm. oscar seized the moment, teasing “careful, danger’s cooking here.” you shot him a wicked grin, traced a finger along the helmet’s visor, and quipped, “i’ll take my chances.” they howled, crowning you “chief troublemaker.”

then the reporters swarmed. flashes erupted. one finally asked, their tone sharp as a thumb screw: “are you having an affair with one of them?”

with a malicious smile you raised an eyebrow and smirked, your voice low and playful: “they’re just good friends. very good friends... i wouldn't dare to choose between them so we'll have to stay like that”

lando feigned indignation, oscar dramatically clutched his chest, and you let out a clear, ringing laugh that scattered any pity in the air.

you waved at fans as you passed and paused for quickfire interviews, your eyes glittering with mischief. then, like sprinkling salt over an open wound, you dropped the final line: “i was invited by my dear friend carlos sainz—but let’s just say i’m saint-fully banned from entering that holy garage.”

you turned to the camera, lips curled in challenge: “carlitos, if you’re watching this… buena suerte, mwaaa!”

you didn’t simply walk the paddock. you owned every square inch of it, like you used to do before. maybe you were back to yourself.

you greeted team principals with a mischief expression, acting like you owned the place, cracked jokes with ferrari engineers — not daring to enter their garage —, and of course slipped into the red bull garage to plant a quick hug on max’s shoulder. “good luck, babybro,” you whispered, your voice warm and supportive. and before you left: “my heart’s orange today... you know”

red flags waved like flames on your way back to mclaren's garage.

somewhere in the blur of flashbulbs and engine roars, you felt it again.

the light shot diamonds from his eyes — as you once stated in your song Like a tattoo.

charles. watching. still.

you didn’t flinch. didn’t look back. didn’t break. he doesn't deserve me, you repeated like a mantra.

liked by lando, oscarpiastri, carlossainz55 and 5,885,666 users

yn just 3 bitches tellin each other exaaaaactly. btw very proud of my (big) babybro, also carlitos last podium with ferrari! everyone. lets just love each other. xx

lando missed you bug oscarpiastri you literally knock on her door everyday lando shut up yn love yaaaaaalllllll my pals mates

user omg THE REAL YN IS BACK IN TOWN

user she was kinda shady towards alex/charles today.... lmao user well.. they deserve it.

carlossainz55 never ending beef with ferrari? you look soooo good in red user why he's flirting with her, mate you have a gf user they are very good friends. why are you trying to imply a fliting ?

oscarpiastri exaaaaaaaactly diva

maxverstappen1 please tell me you wore a jacket over that dress . please tell me you were not alone with those two. yn well i wont maxverstappen1 say sike rn

lando posted a story oscarpiastri posted a story

caption(1): they're forming a duo now @/oscarpiastri @/ yn

caption (2): did lando just outcunt yn

𖡡 monaco

liked by alexsaintmlux and 1,558,665 users

charles_leclerc16 coming back home to have some rest, may 2025 season be greater. thank you for always being with me, my alex <3 love you, my one and only.

alexsaintmlux j'etaime <3 ❤️ liked by author

iamrebecad stop stealing her away from meeeeee alexsaintmlux lets runaway becs ❤️ liked by author

pierregasly you were great mate! ❤️ liked by author

you step out of the car feeling a familiar flutter in your stomach. you look incredible, but nerves are twisting like roller-coaster loops. of course you have studied the seating plan like it was a final exam —he’s front row, eyes going to be glued to you when you perform. the thought is part thrill, part panic.

two weeks ago you sat cross-legged on your living-room floor with coffee and headphones, refining your set list with your manager, trying to decide what to go for with this performance. obviously, two of your heaviest hitters, Sports car and Like a tattoo, plus a surprise mash-up of fan favorites. it felt just right: enough to light the room on fire with a twist only you could pull off.

the red carpet stuns as your gown flows behind you. cameras erupt, microphones thrust forward. you tilt your head to laugh at a reporter’s question and keep moving, slipping past the velvet ropes into the hushed grandeur beyond.

when it’s your time, the opening chords of “don’t blame me” roll out and you can’t resist a genuine, full-on smile. your cheeks flush at the memory of how deeply you once fell, every lyric felt like a whispered confession. by the second chorus, you’re lost in the melody, head tipped back, soul bared to the crowd.

the beat shifts into “sports car” and dancers carve around you with perfect precision. you ride the rhythm, that mischievous grin tugging at your lips as you sing every word like a private joke. it’s pure pop perfection and you dare to remember the scenes that inspired the writing process of this song. you smile.

to close, you pour your heart into “like a tattoo.” when you sing “the light shot diamonds from his eyes” your smile becomes electric, unmissable from any corner. you raise your hand like you’re reaching for him but let the moment hang there, deliciously unresolved, the way he let things end.

afterward, you drift through the crowd of staff members, torn between choosing to sit at your brother’s table with red bull and the your duo at mclaren. you shrug and think, why not add more fuel to the fire? and slide into the seat between lando and oscar, instantly feeling their buzz.

the host spots you three and leans in, voice smooth, you didn't know what was coming: “look at this little setup: two ripe papayas and one pop princess. with all that heat, who needs a safety car? guess y'all are going to need some serious lubrication…”

you and oscar burst into stifled smile. lando leans back, uncontainable smile that hang ear to ear. and a few feet away, charles leclerc watches with tightly pressed lips, not even a flicker of a smile. yes, that was caught on camera.

as the night caves in, you don't even know if you wanna head home or if you just wanna hang around those two a little more. they just accept it.

liked by lando, oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1 and 8,999,544 users

yn not every single song is about you. happy to be here today! (omw to buy some lub, someone say i might need it)

maxverstappen1 if i could choose one of your songs to disappear forever it probably be sports car… lando why mate thats my fave ❤️ liked by author maxverstappen1 know your limits, norris

lando you're kinda cool ❤️ liked by author yn only cool? oscarpiastri no funny business today for you ❤️ liked by author

oscarpiastri i voted for orange dress ❤️ liked by author user your fashion taste sucks... glad she choose it herself maxverstappen1 not you too piastri

carlossainz55 blue suits you sm more ❤️ liked by author yn thats not the versainz i ship btw carlossainz55 get over it, please.

iamrebecad divaaaaa

user (redacted) doesnt read the room lmao

user glad to see you glowing yn! ❤️ liked by author

sabrinacarpenter gagged. lysm my bbgirl! ❤️ liked by author

liked by user, user, user and 1,669,314 users

f1gossiper Throuple sighting?? More trouble in paradise?? Yn Verstappen, Lando Norris & Oscar Piastri were spotted cruising the streets of Milan last night, and word is the blonde bombshell was trading kisses and cuddles with both mclaren boys 👀💥

Did anyone see this coming? Is it just a wild friendship or full-on #trisal energy? D rop your thoughts — who’s ready for this love triangle meltdown?

user shes a lucky bitch omg

user honestly couldnt care less

user ferrari's golden boy for two newbies in the game... it aint the upgrade yall think it is. but who am i right?

[mikkies]

「 MAYBE THEY'LL SAY I'M OVERZEALOUS, MAYBE THEY SAY I TRY TOO HARD. 」

Forsaken Killers x GN! Child! Reader (platonic)

warnings: references to emotionally neglectful or abusive parents, deep-seated fear of failure equating to worthlessness, and reader exhibits symptoms of childhood emotional trauma. (Asian parents or not.)

notes: lots of people requested a part 2 with the killers like 46(?), 48(?) but I only picked one to answer to—sorry gng I'm lazy. Anyways might be a bit OOC since I know well they wouldn't care as much as it's portrayed here

☆ — 1x1x1x1

You don’t talk to them much, and he never forces it. But she notices how you always keep your shoulders slightly tensed. He sees how you keep checking over your notes like your life depends on it.

One time, you ducked slightly when she turned suddenly toward you. You didn’t cry. You didn’t explain. But you flinched—and that told them enough.

“You’ve been taught that fear keeps you safe. It doesn’t.”

That’s all he says. But from then on, she moves slower around you. Not for your comfort—but for their own (or at least what she tells herself).

Never offers comfort directly. Instead, leaves things you need—candles if you ever ran out, scratch paper, a sharpened pencil—where you’ll find them usually. Quiet acknowledgments he dares not to act loudly.

☆ — John Doe

You don’t speak to him. You don’t even look at him unless you have to. But that’s fine—he watches anyway.

He doesn’t offer hugs. He doesn’t even get why you study so hard. But he understands that constant loop of trying to fix something you don’t fully understand.

“Studying will not save you here. But… you should still be proud.”

He once saw you freeze up because someone yelled indirectly at you. You clenched your fists instead of crying. He... understood that.

You’re not afraid of him, the others or even the Spectre—you’re afraid of failure. That’s something John Doe remembers too well.

☆ — Mafioso

You didn’t meet his gaze when you first met. You didn’t offer him anything (due to you being afraid of approaching him). You didn’t suck up or call him “sir.” He respected that.

He caught on quick. Noticed the way your shoulders tensed when one of his subordinates pointed messed with you too harshly. The way you apologized for bumping into him.

He doesn’t do soft sympathy. But one day, when he saw you panicking over a mistake, he simply said,

“Nobody’s gonna scold you over that little thing, rabbit. You’re not gonna get hit for getting it wrong.”

Doesn’t hover. Doesn’t lecture. But he gives you structure—“Study for 30. Break for 15.” That kind of thing. You don’t have to follow it. But you always do.

Keeps his bunnies away from you until he’s sure you’re okay with animals. When you pet one without flinching, he nods once and lets you keep it.

☆ — Noli

The first time he hears you studying multiplication tables out loud like your life depends on it, he peers over your shoulder upside-down, floating and glitching:

“W-w-w-why are you—cramming? We’re l-l—l-l—living in h—h-hell already, kid!”

You don’t laugh. You flinch when he teleports too close. He pauses mid-ability, suddenly still.

Noli isn’t soft. He’s chaos incarnate. But once he notices you're uncomfortable, he dials it back down. Doesn’t float into your face. Doesn’t hover. Doesn’t play loud memes too close to your ears.

He’s actually surprisingly insightful—starts to even help you study, maybe coding if you're interested.

Jokes less when you flinch. He won’t touch you, but will try to make you laugh by doing stupid actions.

☆ — Azure

At first, he thinks you're just… quiet. He likes that. You don’t talk over him, you don’t get in his way, and you don’t try to pry.

But then they see it, how you flinch when someone slams a cabinet, or how you wince when someone brushes past you too fast.

He doesn't confront you. He watches.

You’re not like c00lkidd. You aren't as whimsical or optimistic. You’re just… terrified of messing up. Azure understands that too well.

If you break something by accident and look ready to panic, they put a tentacle between you and the mess like a barrier and in the most non threatening way says,

“Don’t clean it if you look like you're about to pass out.”

Starts leaving small botany clippings for you—nothing dramatic. Just nightshade petals flattened between book pages, a sign that he sees your effort.

☆ — Guest 666

You never speak to them. They don’t speak to you either. But there’s something unspoken that passes between you—the way you both carry guilt like it’s chained to your ribs.

Guest 666 sees it. Feels it. They don’t need to speak to understand what it means to feel like you can’t make mistakes.

After some rounds of losing to the survivors, you started to feel like a failure, almost like you're starting to spiral, but you heard a noise. You go still, heart pounding, waiting for a voice to scold you for losing so many times.

Guest 666's familiar claws glowing faintly red—but they don’t come closer. Instead, they set down a half melted caramel—wrapper a bit dirty but still edible on the table beside you. Not a gift. Not a prize. Just a gesture—before retracting.

You don’t touch it at first. But by the next hour or so, there’s another one. Always one when you're upset.

Guest 666 never punishes your fear. When you flinch near them, they stop moving entirely. They wait. They let you breathe.

☆ — c00lkidd

He’s excited when he first sees you. Another kid! Someone he can play with!

Except… you’re not smiling. You’re sitting in a corner, hunched over a workbook, erasing the same problem over and over until the paper tears.

He crouches nearby with his usual twisted grin.

“Hey!! You don’t gotta do this anymore! We just gotta play until we get tired! We can play tag.. Maybe hide and seek!”

He doesn’t understand why you clean up everyone else’s messes, or why you panic if you spill something. He sees you as someone opposite of him—but that makes it more fun!

He starts trying to copy you in his own weird way—pretending to “study,” scribbling nonsense on a paper or just doodling him, his dad, you, or the other killers to just to sit next to his new best friend!

[jennelikejennay]

How to write like Spock

Some Spirk writers tend to write like Spock anyway and that's why we write so much Spirk (cough cough, me. Let me tell you, people don't like it when you write like Spock in books). Others consider his voice a particular challenge, so this is for you.

Spock's level of formality can be a challenge if you're used to colloquial English. It includes things like an advanced vocabulary, convoluted sentences, and an avoidance of idioms.

My biggest tip is this: if you don't know how to do a thing, best not to worry about it. Don't use words if you don't know their meaning. If you need a sciencey word and don't know enough science, make one up. In the end, Spock can talk like other people if he wants to so don't tie yourself in a knot about it.

Kirk and Spock are both kind of Renaissance men. So they don't just talk about science, but may reference history, literature, psychology, whatever you like. Feel free to give them your interests and make them cite your favorite book or historical figure.

There are certain words the fandom loves and loves to misuse:

amenable: willing, agreeing to something. "I would be amenable to your proposal." The proposal isn't amenable, Spock is.

agreeable: this one can be used for the proposal. "Your suggestion would be agreeable to me."

reticent: reserved, unwilling to disclose. "He was reticent on the topic of pon farr."

reluctant: unwilling to do something. "He was reluctant to disclose the meaning of pon farr." Don't say he was reticent to go swimming. We don't really say reticent to do anything. It's an adjective that stands on its own for someone who's politely secretive (like Spock).

thusly: is not a word. People started using it as a joke around when I was in elementary school and now they seem to think it's real. It's not.

thus: in this way. It is an adverb already so there's no need to add -ly. "Why do you act thus?" "Thus I have always explained it."

Spock does use contractions, for instance in his classic line, "When I feel friendship for you, I'm ashamed." You can avoid them to help the ear hear his specific cadence, but it's not weird if Spock happens to use them and his friends would not be shocked.

Spock does not swear (till STIV, and then badly). If he cusses, Bones is going to whip out a medical tricorder to see what's wrong.

Spock does occasionally use idioms, but often in "air quotes" so he can pretend it is a human foible he wouldn't dream of using on his own. He understands them perfectly fine, but he sometimes pokes fun at them. Don't overdo this or he just seems obnoxious. Spock can read the room.

Despite his love of formality, throughout TOS, Spock uses "Jim" readily off duty or in moments of danger. Now of course depending on your fic, he might not be on a first-name basis with Jim yet. But they don't have to be sleeping together to be using first names.

Spock rarely admits to emotions but he does feel them. It's up to you whether he admits them in his internal monologue. There are a lot of strategies people use to show his emotion:

"He noticed a flash of fear and tucked it away to meditate about later."

"The threat of mortality had risen to sixty-one percent, but as a Vulcan he felt no fear about this, none whatsoever."

"His knees felt weak and his stomach churned. Perhaps he was coming down with a virus."

"He wondered idly if, when he died, the captain would weep."

There's no one right way to do it! We rarely see what Spock is actually thinking, so you can make him poetic, alexithymic, enlightened, whatever background makes the tiny above-water iceberg of his visible behavior make sense.

This deserves to be its own point: with all characters, there will be a difference between their inner narration and what they reveal on the outside, but that's especially true for Spock. Using his POV allows the chance of showing tons of stuff he would never show. Feelings, motives, Vulcan traditions that guide his reactions. Jim will often be aware of his feelings, but most people won't.

Okay that's what I can think of off the top of my head. I hope it makes you feel more comfortable writing his POV if it's something you've been afraid to try.

What did I forget?

[bingbongsupremacy]

How They React To Your Trauma - TGM

A/N: This is very self indulgent. The past few weeks I've gone through some stuff that's triggered me, so I wanted to write some comfort. I know unfortunately I'm not the only person who's experienced abuse as a kid, so I hope this can bring a little comfort to others too. I couldn't decide who to write this about, so I wrote multiple versions.

Pairing: Hangman x Reader, Rooster x Reader, Fanboy x Reader, Bob Floyd x Reader

Warning: PTSD from child abuse, yelling, unexpected touch, Pet Names (Baby, honey, sweetheart) (Pls take care of yourself. Don't read this if it's going to upset you. It's not very descriptive, but I know this topic can be triggering. You are brave and strong. We didn't deserve what we went through.)

Summary: The boys accidentally do something that brings up unwanted memories.

*Not Proofread*

No description of reader's weight/body type or race.

-----

Hangman

It starts out like any other night.

We're on the couch, tangled up in blankets, half-watching some dumb movie neither of us is paying attention to. Jake's been narrating the whole thing like he's got a mic in his hand and a sold-out audience. He's loud, dramatic, and way too proud of how funny he thinks he is.

I'm laughing along with him. Teasing him like I always do. I toss out a sarcastic line and roll my eyes, smiling.

And that's when he does it.

He sits up a little and throws my words right back at me in this high, mocking voice, dragging it out in that way that's supposed to be funny.

"Really, Jake?" he mimics, full-on eye roll. "That's not even what I meant."

He laughs.

I freeze.

It's stupid. He's clearly joking. But something about it slams into me like a punch. The tone. The delivery. It's exactly how my dad used to do it. My mind fills with different memories. The way he'd mock me when I cried, when I stammered, when I dared to talk back. The horrible names he's called me, playing them off as a teasing quip and completely invalidating my feelings.

He'd say it like a joke, but it never was.

My stomach knots. I shrink back into the couch and go quiet, pulling my arms around myself like armor.

Jake notices instantly.

"Hey," he says, and his voice isn't loud or cocky anymore. It's soft. Low. "What just happened? Did I say somethin' wrong?"

I shake my head. "Nothing. I'm fine." I try to play it off, not wanting to ruin the night with my problems.

"Bullshit." There's no bite in it, though. Just concern. "You went quiet on me. Come on, sweetheart. Talk to me. What's the matter?"

I swallow hard. My throat feels tight. I hate that this is happening. I hate that I'm ruining a good night over something so small. Something that wouldn't normally bother other people. But the words slip out before I can stop them.

"It's not you. It's just… you sounded like my dad."

Jake stiffens.

I glance up, then back down at my lap. "He used to talk to me like that. Same voice. Same expression. Always pretending it was a joke, but it wasn't. I'd say something, and he'd repeat it back with this smug, mocking tone. Like I was pathetic. Like everything I said was stupid."

The silence between us is thick.

Jake exhales, long and slow. Then I hear the couch shift as he leans forward. He's not touching me, he knows better, but I can feel his presence right there.

"Damn," he says, voice low. "I thought I was being cute. I didn't mean it like that. I swear."

I shake my head. "I know. I know you didn't. It just… hit the wrong nerve, I guess."

"You don't gotta explain it to me," he says. His voice is calm, quieter than I've ever heard it. "But I'm real glad you did."

I finally look at him.

He's serious. No smirk. No sarcasm. Just Jake. Real and raw and looking at me like I matter more than anything he's ever joked about.

"I won't do that again," he says. "Not if it makes you feel like that. You matter more than the laugh."

I can't speak. Not right away. My heart's thudding too loud in my chest. I never expected him to react like this.

"You didn't deserve that," he adds quietly. "Any of it."

That's when it hits. The lump in my throat that I've been swallowing all night.

"You're safe here," he says. "With me. Always."

And I believe him.

"Thanks, Jake."

"Of course, Baby. I love you."

Rooster

The diner is warm and a little too loud, but I don't mind. There's something cozy about it, the kind of place where time slows down just enough to let me breathe. Bradley sits across from me, telling some story about Fanboy and a disastrous karaoke night, and I'm only half-listening. His voice is low and animated, and I'm distracted by the way he lights up when he talks.

We've only been dating a few months, but I feels like we've known each other for years.

His plate is in front of him, loaded with fries. Mine's already empty.

So I reach for one. Just one.

Before I can grab it, he snatches my wrist.

"Hey, hands off, that's sacred territory," he says, laughing. It's clearly a joke, but it doesn't feel that way.

I don't laugh.

My whole body locks up. It's not his grip. He's not hurting me. He never would. But it's sudden. Familiar in frightening way. A way I haven't felt in years since I left home.

My stomach drops, and I pull my hand back like I've been shocked. I can't stop the way my shoulders tense or the way my breath stutters in my chest. I feel like I'm ten years old again, bracing for something worse.

He freezes. His brows draw together as he realizes I didn't take it as a joke.

"Whoa. Hey. I didn't mean-" Bradley backs up, eyes wide, hands pulled away like I'm a wounded animal. His voice is soft now, almost scared. "Did I hurt you?"

I shake my head quickly, my eyes darting away. I don't want him to think that. "No. No, you didn't. It's not you." I swallow harshly. This is the one thing I haven't told him about yet. I've been nervous. How do you casually bring up that you were abused as a kid? It's an awkward, tense conversation. One I've been trying to avoid.

I knew this was bound to happen at some point. I love Bradley, and I don't want to keep secrets from him. Especially when it's something this big that's impacted me so greatly.

I was doing fine, or so I thought. I've been seeing a therapist, trying to work through everything. I guess reflexes are hard to forget.

He doesn't say anything right away. Just watches me carefully, like he's trying to understand.

I look down at my hands in my lap, embarrassed. My voice is quiet. "It just felt... familiar. My mom... used to grab me like that when she was mad. It was never gentle. And I guess my brain just... reacted."

He exhales, long and slow, like he's trying not to mess this up.

"Shit," he says under his breath. "I didn't know."

"I know. You didn't mean to." I try to smile, but it feels shaky and uneven. "It's not your fault. I've been meaning to talk to you about... but I just... I haven't felt ready yet."

He nods, eyes still on me, then lowers one hand to the table. He doesn't reach for me. Just places it there, palm up, offering.

"Thank you for telling me," he says softly. "I won't ever touch you without thinking again. I want you to feel safe with me. And you don't need to tell me anything you're not ready to say yet. Just know, I'll be here when you are." There's no pressure in his voice. No expectation.

Just honesty.

I stare at his hand for a moment. My heart is still racing, but slower now. Calmer.

Carefully, I lay my hand over his.

His fingers curl around mine, barely there. Not to grab. Not to hold me in place. His hand is warm and comforting. Safe, something I've struggled to feel for years.

I don't know when I'll feel ready to tell Bradley about everything. But when I do, I know he'll be there for me.

I couldn't ask for a better boyfriend.

Bob

We're studying together in the library, and I'm finally starting to relax. It's been a good hour, quiet and peaceful. Bob's warm presence beside me always makes things feel safer somehow. That is, until he drops his textbook onto the table with a loud thud and mutters something under his breath.

I flinch hard. My heart lurches into my throat and before I can stop myself, my hands come up to shield my head. I feel my entire body tense and brace for impact. For a moment, my eyes squeeze shut.

There's a beat of silence. I slowly open my eyes again and look at the man besides me. His posture is stiff and he's pulled back, like he's worried he did something wrong.

Then, he quietly speaks. "Oh no. Oh, sweetheart. I'm sorry. Did I scare you?" His blue eyes are wide, his face filled with concern.

"Loud noises just…" I slowly start to bring my arms down. "My mom used to yell before she hit me. So whenever someone slams something or gets loud, it just… it feels the same and I get... nervous. It takes me back to when I was a kid."

His chair scrapes gently as he scoots closer, not too close, just enough that I can feel the warmth of him again.

"Can I hug you?" he asks quietly. "Or do you want some space?"

I nod again, still not trusting my voice. His warm arms wrap around me a moment later, slow and careful like he's trying to be careful. I lean into him, letting his comforting presence help ease the tension still buzzing in my body.

"I'll be quieter," he whispers softly. "I swear, honey. I'd never hurt you. Not ever."

And in that moment, pressed against his chest, I believe him.

Bob's not like that. And I'm very grateful.

Fanboy

We're walking down the sidewalk, side by side, trading lazy jokes about the last time Payback nearly crashed the Bronco into a tree. Mickey's laughing, hands in his pockets, head tilted just enough to glance over at me every few seconds like he's making sure I'm still smiling.

Then it happens fast.

A blur of motion. A bike speeding straight for the curb, too close, too fast.

Before I can even think, Mickey grabs my arm and yanks me back onto the sidewalk.

"Whoa."

I gasp, heart slamming into my ribs. I jerk away from his grip without meaning to, chest rising and falling too fast. I stumble away, desperately needing to put some distance between the two of us. Not because he hurt me, but because my body remembers.

Mickey's eyes go wide. He freezes like I just slapped him. His relaxed smile fades into a concerned frown.

"Shit. Hey, hey." His hands lift like he's surrendering, his voice suddenly way softer than usual. "I didn't mean to hurt you. Are you okay?"

I nod, swallowing, even though my pulse is still racing. "Yeah. I know you were trying to help. I just... my mom used to grab me like that. When she was pissed. I wasn't expecting it. Normally I don't... react that way anymore. It's just when people catch me by surprise."

He stares at me, then looks at his hand like he doesn't recognize it. Like it betrayed him.

"Oh, damn. I... I'm sorry." He shakes his head, takes a small step back like space might help. "I wasn't thinking. I didn't know you went through that.. I was just trying to keep you from becoming roadkill."

"I get it," I say quickly. "You didn't do anything wrong. It just caught me off guard. I'm okay. Don't worry about it."

He lets out a breath and rubs the back of his neck. "Yeah, well... I still feel like an asshole."

"You're not."

He looks at me, really looks at me, and says, low and sincere, the way Mickey gets when he's not joking around, just being real, "I swear, I'd never do anything to make you feel like that. Ever. You don't deserve that kind of shit."

It's quiet after that, just the sound of our footsteps.

But later, when we're sitting on the hood of his car watching the sun set, he keeps glancing over at me. Not dramatic. Just... checking.

"You good?" he asks, like it's casual. But it's not.

And he doesn't touch me again. Not unless I reach for him first. It's subtle, but I notice it. Feel it. He's trying. He wants to make sure I feel comfortable and respected.

Because that's Mickey. Always joking, always upbeat. But under all that? He listens. He remembers. And when he says he's gonna be better, he means it.

Mickey keeps his word.

-----

A/N: You are valid. Your experiences are valid. I believe you.

[gaintsnowflake]

❆ comfort

BLURB : your boyfriend comfort's you

A/N : wrote this to comfort myself thru a ptsd moment, written with the intent of dick or tim, not proof read

masterlist

     Time moved slower when you started to remember. Every blink felt like forever. Every breath seemed burdening. Flashes of what life used to be— when your body seemed more ready for war than a hug— seemed more present than your life now.

      And before you realized. Truly realized that you weren't there, your breathing had already stopped. not in a permanent way. in the way that you weren't sure you wanted to breathe anymore. It suddenly became so painful to even think.

      So while you stayed surrounded by people you call family, you began to choke on your laughter. You began to drift away from the conversation, not purposely, but rather their joyful words were replaced by horrid mantras you heard a thousand times before. 

      But when minutes turned into hours of fighting to keep yourself standing, grounded, while your boyfriend danced through conversations with friends, you began to lose hope. The feeling of being swallowed whole seemed to surround your body.

       So when you reached him, in the middle of a conversation, arm twisting around him until you could squeeze his hand, you weren't surprised to see his eyes finding yours. Concern lacing his face as his words seemed to fly with the wind. And when he didn't look back to see the face you both stitched together, the one of love and comfort, but rather the one he found you with, one so far lost in surviving, so far gone into fear, the same eyes it broke his heart to see and he swore he'd never cause the pain, he lost himself. He held you closer, counting your uneven breaths as he excuses himself from conversations and you, weaving into the bathroom. 

        The memories had consumed far too much of you to notice when he made you sit on the closed lid of the toilet. Or when he kneeled down, hands placed on your thighs, rubbing circles with his thumbs. Too consumed with your vile imagination to notice his voice calling for you. Not until he said your full name, when your head snaps to face him. bringing some consciousness forward.

         “Are you okay?” His words held more than they were meant to bare.

         “I'm sorry.” you didn't mean to say it, not like that, you don't even remember your mouth moving. You don't know why you're sorry, not necessarily, sure you could think of reasons, but you aren't truly sure what caused the pang in your chest for you to feel sorry. But you felt the need to repeat it. Maybe it wasn't even to him, maybe it was to yourself, maybe your past. “I’m sorry.”

         You felt his hand snake to your cheek, forcing your eyes to keep with his. “No, baby, no sorry. What's wrong? How can I help you through this?” 

          You almost didn't notice how he slowed down his breathing, you knew he did it purposely, because he knew subconsciously you would match his breathing and it would slow you down, ground you a bit more. You almost didn't notice how his pinky laid below your jaw, right over your pulse, he was counting it. You almost didn't notice how he rolled up the sleeves to his hoodie, making sure you felt his skin on yours. He knew what you needed before you knew you needed it.

         “home. I need home, please. I'm sorry, I just-”

         “You don't have to explain yourself, you don't have to be sorry,” He began to hold you tighter as he could see your eyes dart around the room, attempting to bring yourself back to reality, rather than the fucked up world your brain tried to simulate. “You're here. You're with me. You are alive. You are safe. Nobody can hurt you right now, not mentally or physically. You are safe. Can you repeat that for me, pretty? Then we will go home, promise.”

         “I'm safe. I’m here, I'm alive, and I'm safe. I'm not there anymore. I'm safe.” 

         “Good job, I'm proud of you, you know that? I'm really proud of you,” He was slow to begin moving. “Come on, let's get you home…”

[lavenderangell]

This isn’t like my usual put-together posts, so bear with me.

I’m a Law of Assumption girlie. I've known about shifting for years but I've never been interested in it.

After getting the 20th "can i manifest this" question from the same person, i decided to take a break. I was about to close the app when I saw a post about how easy shifting is. I thought, why not?

I read Twisted Love by Ana Huang last year. That man, Alex Volkov? Cold, possessive, emotionally constipated. Built like a dark secret. Did I like the book? Yes. Did I want to live in it? Not particularly, but again, why not do it for the plot?

So I didn’t do anything fancy. No method. No scripting (big mistake). I just closed my eyes and whispered:

"I’m already there."

And let go.

When I opened my eyes, I immediately knew I wasn’t in my room anymore. The sheets were too soft and the air was too masculine. I sat up slowly, heart pounding. There was a faint scent in the room, clean linen, citrus, and something dark and expensive.

And then I saw him.

Standing beside the bed.

Looking very angry.

Shirtless, abs, tall, green eyes, sharp jawline, abs and messy dark hair. Incredibly handsome

Alex. Freaking. Volkov.

Now keep in mind, he's not really my type. Too guarded and intense. I like softies. Golden retrievers, guys who say "aww" when they see baby ducks and cry during pixar movies. If you've read the book, you know Alex is the complete opposite.

"You’re not Ava," he said slowly, dangerously.

"No," laughed nervously. "I'm not. I think I messed up. I didn’t mean to land here. It’s like, I was just trying something out, you know? I think I got the coordinates wrong?"

“Who the hell are you?” he asked, deadpan.

I blinked. "I-I shifted here."

"…you what?"

He looked at me like I was insane

"Shifted," he repeated, like the word disgusted him.

Then he turned around and walked out, muttering something about calling security.

I closed my eyes IMMEDIATELY and affirmed my way back like my life depended on it. I was definitely not sticking around to find out what happens next.

"I am back in my original reality."

And just like that, poof. I'm back home.

10/10 visual experience.

0/10 welcoming energy.

Note to self:

Maybe bring a laminated PowerPoint explaining shifting. Or better yet, just script that I'm not a stranger who appeared out of thin air.

Next time, script that we’re already in a relationship before dropping into a morally gray man’s bed uninvited. Just a thought.

Would I go back?

...maybe

........

Romance novel lovers, which book should I shift into next? Drop your favourites below! Softies or villains, I’m curious what fictional worlds you think I should shift to.

Quick Note: I'm still on a break, so I’m not responding to loa related asks or dms. Thank you for understanding, I’ll be back soon ❤️

[bnha-ship-tournaments]

ROUND 2 SIDE A

MATCH 1

Keigo Takami | Hawks/Touya Todoroki | Dabi

HawksDabi

-

it’s about the parallels and shared trauma and opposing values and the way they interact and do i really need to explain

-

Look, I could write a whole essay of 20 pages of why this ship has been wasted in the canon and why they should be together and why are they so gay for each other AND WHY HORIKOSHI?????

But I think I will try to summarize it a minimum for everyone’s sake (including mine) 

Canon wise their backstories were perfect for the parallels and the way that they interact in general had SO MUCH SEXUAL TENSION that it’s not even funny. And their fight? With all the trauma and info dumping? PEAK 

AND THEN ALL WENT WRONG, I'M STILL SO MAD ABOUT IT, because YES, Hawks has sold his body and soul for justice but are you seriously telling me that he is going to back up an abusive father taking into account that his own father was abusive? Maybe BUT we needed more conflict, more acknowledgement, MORE ANYTHING 

AND ARE YOU SERIOUSLY SAYING THAT HAWKS LOST FUCKING EVERYTHING FOR SAVING JAPAN AND I HAVE TO BE OKAY WITH IT????? For me it gets the same feeling like Ekko (Arcane) and I really don’t like it 

ANYWAY, fuck canon (just in general) lets talk about the possibilities and the fics OH. MY GOD THE FICS!! From childhood friends to the Modern Au’s for the toxic yaoi to the fix it’s, they are all incredible and I really think that they explore a lot of what this relationship could have been :D

I truly believe that Dabi had a soft spot for the LOV in general and that Hawks actions would have had consequences in their relationship BUT at the same time Hawks would have had to give up his convictions to be with the man that he truly loves. But they compliment each other so well: they are ready to sacrifice everything to achieve their goal, they would understand each other, they would be stubborn in their beliefs… 

I don’t know if you have seen the official art of Hero Touya but it gives a good perspective of what could have been if ENDEAVOUR HADN’T BEEN A PIECE OF TRASH (Redemption arc my ass!! ARE YOU FOR REAL?? FUCK HIM!!!!!!) 

ANYWAY, I really think that Hot Wings is peak relationship of this series and canon or not they are perfect for each other…

…In every universe <3

-

DabiHawks are perfect parallels and narrative foils, and I firmly believe that in a world with decent story writing where they were given the agency to be characters beyond supplementing Enji’s bullshit, that they would absolutely be the best center of the narrative. They perfectly represent all the themes BNHA should encompass. My favorite corner of the fandom, by far. The only corner of the fandom I want to be in honestly, they just GET IT.

-

Everything that’s not DabiHawks is so cooked. DabiHawks has so much story potential it’s crazy, and the fact that it’s like the 5th biggest ship in the fandom on AO3 while spitting in the face of canon means the fans are a force to be reckoned with. For good reason though- I ain’t never seen a ship with such consistently good fics before, they know how to scrape up every ounce of potential and run with it.

Haimawari Koichi | The Skycrawler/Number Six

Normalest man on earth/a fucked up science experiment trying to kill him and steal his identity. They're the perfect balance of tragic and incredibly funny.

Keigo Takami | Hawks/Touya Todoroki | Dabi: @cheekirin on X

Haimawari Koichi | The Skycrawler/Number Six: Original Source (Manga)

[thoughtfulchaos773]

There's one part of Claire and Carmy's relationship that mirrors that of Sydney and Carmy's.

And like a mirror, its image is reversed; Sydney and Carmy want to find the balance of push and pull in their relationship, both at work and outside.

This, yearning to push and pull, when one person initiates participation, is one of the root issues in Sydney and Carmy's situationship. But we see that Carmy did try to push outside of work.

He starts in Season 2 Pasta as he actively tries to get to know Sydney, we can tell this is an enjoyment for Carmy, but it's a challenge to get to know and start participating with Sydney.

BTW, it is a good thing that it's a struggle for Carmy because he'll eventually learn how to achieve a work-life balance, like Claire.

Unlike Claire, who worked hard by staying with good things, he runs. It's easier to fall into cycles of complacency by not engaging in personal relationships; instead, he actively participates and pushes forward in his work life. And leaves his life outside of work bare and alone.

So, in a sense, Claire, amongst other repetitions of a cycle, such as representing his mom, also represents parts that Carmy has to learn.

In an interview last year, Molly mentioned that in relationship roles, there are changes in different relationships, where one person pushes (participates) and the other pulls away. This is a conversation she had with Chris. I think that, among other things, not to spoil anything for the show, Molly is right; this is the actual part of Claire and Carmy, and admittedly, she serves as a growth opportunity for Carmy.

In Scallop, the conversation with Clair continues, with both parties acknowledging their faults. You see, the start of it is Carmy explaining what happened on Friends and Family night. I agree with @fairestbeard that this may have been a case of transference, as Carmy was talking about and to Syd.

As the disagreement subsides, the misunderstanding slows down as Claire & Carmy acknowledge what might have gone wrong in the relationship.

Here's where the opposite happens: Syd is Carmy and Carmy is Claire in a personal setting.

Claire: I felt like I saw glimpses of you, but I wanted to see all of you..You would like, pull back, and I was unsure how to act. Carmy: You didn't do anything wrong Claire: Yeah, I did. Carmy: How? Claire: Oh my god, I'm sure I did so much. So much I like- I saw you pull away when I got too close, and I thought, Should I do that? But I didn't tell you cause I was scared. Like I've worked so hard, like not to blow up good things and even attempt to be close to someone, but I don't want to be scared, I don't want to push you away by just being around you. ... I want to be honest even if it hurts.

Carmy seems to know, as we confirm that Sydney is the good Carmy sees. But, like Claire was in a previous relationship, he doesn't want to ruin it; hence, his decisions are often twisted to run away when things get good. He also feels in this season that he pushes Sydney away by participating and just being around Sydney at work.

Continuing the conversation, Claire tells Carmy that he left and never thought he would shut her out. Carmy profusely says that's not what it is. The conversation blows up until Carmy ends it with an apology. Carmy says that's not what it is because he now understands that he needs to participate more. But he doesn't want to initiate anything with Sydney at work; he wants to do this in his personal life.

So

Claire says something that influences Carmy's decision to leave the good thing that's happening with Sydney because he doesn't want to ruin it-

"I hope you find peace. Whatever that looks like for you."

So, he'll leave work life and try to figure out how to take the initiative to push and somehow convince Sydney not to pull away while he practices and tries to participate in their life outside the restaurant.

But as we see in 4x10, this push-pull, personally and professionally with Sydney and Carmy, comes to a head. In their argument, it seems that Syd and Carmy would alternate, with one person discussing their personal relationship and the other discussing professionally.

This is where most of the miscommunication that lies beneath Sydney and Carmy's argument in 4x10 occurs, as one discusses work (Sydney, in this case, often talks about work in this argument, whereas Carmy discusses their personal relationship most of the time).

In this argument, in particular, both Carmy and Sydney know that one of those hurdles was Claire. He said he’s created hurdles not to deal with real things, and Sydney lists off (only work) how Carmy created the hurdle.

Then Carmy goes into their personal relationship, where it could be strictly talking about Adam. Still, he's talking about leaving their relationship, and how Sydney pushes him away, with one foot out the door already, even if he did things he would initiate, and Sydney would pull away.

The argument comes to a head, where you see that Sydney and Carmy are completely split. We know that for Carmy, this is personal - "I'm your friend," where he is trying to actively change and become the pusher, and Sydney, in his eyes, is all professional, which frustrates Carmy.

But for Carmy and Sydney to work out, there needs to be balance in this relationship. Sydney naturally pushes and initiates a professional relationship with Carmy. Carmy tries to initiate participation with Sydney by getting to know her outside of work and getting her to let him in.

This is the ultimate hero's journey for carmy. It's about deciding what he wants and pushing for it, not as the accomplished chef, but as the Carmy (Bear) Berzatto who wants to love life and not just work, and it starts in his relationship with Sydney. So he can know himself enough to get Sydney to stop pulling away.

I hope this makes sense! Calo is right; this is messy - far messier than Claire and Carmy, because Sydney and Carmy want to be in both roles in the kitchen and outside of it.

[pruneunfair]

Hae Soo is a boring character: Revised edition.

I looked back on my old Tears on a withered flower analysis about why I thought Hae Soo was dull female lead to follow a long time ago and yeesh! It was not one of my best analysis' probably even one of my worst. I got a lot of things wrong such as Tae Ha making a plush toy in Hae Soo's likeness was just apart of some weird promotional art and not canon in the story, and I focused too much on her body instead of actual reasons that made her boring.

I still find her boring, even more so then I did back when the original analysis was made, but just because I don't like her character doesn't mean I'm going to let a poorly made statement about her sit and act like it was correct.

So allow me to make up for that with this list with more reasons formed from by her personality instead of character design.

1: Her likability relies on how much the audience can pity her 80% of the time.

Hae Soo is definitely not UNLIKABLE, she is written to be a soft spoken woman who works hard, is generally kind but for most of the series up until recently, she is also submissive and doesn't know how to stand up for herself.

But that personality practically means nothing when we aren't really shown what makes Hae Soo a strong character. In almost every scene that she's in that isn't a romantic moment with Tae Ha, she is being bullied by someone else. Mincheol is abusing her, Hwa Jung is making fun of her for being old, her parents are implied to have been beating/neglecting her, she's getting bullied at school during flashbacks, and generally a good 80% of the scenes she's in that don't involve her romantic relationship is of her being mistreated and bullied so we can feel bad for her or so we can watch Tae Ha hurt them to defend his kitten.

Obviously, that alone isn't what makes Hae Soo boring, a lot of women irl unfortunately have to suffer like just for being above 30 but those real women also have other reasons that make them human, they have interesting hobbies, friends outside of their spouse, personality traits that help them survive the mental anguish of going to work just to be yelled at by their customer, boss, etc. What I'm trying to say is that they're still people because people are a lot more than their trauma.

Its hard to properly explain but the easiest way to describe is that while many horrible things will happen to a female lead, those things happen to tell an actual compelling story about her but in Hae Soo's case, its just there to be like "Awwww... Our baby Hae Soo is being bullied again 😢 Let's hope that Tae Ha will show those meanies what for!" And thats it... Hae Soo just gets verbally, physically, and even sexually harrassed and it never ends up being about HER, its about how Tae Ha will react to his baby girl getting hurt and what he will do to the perpetrators while Hae Soo basically gets the crumbs, said crumbs being pity points since her lack of agency as a compelling character is "made up" with her having the character of an abandoned quadruple amputee kitten left in the rain.

I will give this to Tears on a withered flower: The author, Gae Nim, might not be my favorite manhwa creator, but they aren't a terrible writer, they can definitely write some pretty good scenarios and ideas, such as realistic approaches to new relationships after getting away from an abusive spouse. This does prove that at least 20% of Hae Soo's trauma isn't just there for Tae Ha to come in and prove how much better of a boyfriend he is and how he can save with her with money and his dick alone, because what she went through, it kept Hae Soo away from rushing into a genuine relationship with Tae Ha for so long, the downside is that it also acts as a double edged sword in the end because Tae Ha once again takes most of the main character traits that Hae Soo should have and instead of letting Hae Soo recover from her trauma and letting her have a few months at the very least to have some time for her to take agency over her own life, it ends up being about how Tae Ha continues to do all these wonderful things for Hae Soo (Basically lovebombing her) so she can rush through the recover process and throw herself wholeheartedly to Tae Ha.

2: Despite her being a supposedly mature older woman with more life experience than others, she is consistently infantalized.

Okay, I know I said I wasn't going to make this about all her body, and that is why this is the only time at all during this analysis that I will bring up Hae Soos bodytype: it is the perfect symbolism of what kind of character she's trying to be: On one hand, she has the body type of a mature, grown woman but on the other hand, her face is drawn to somehow look youthful and in the iconic confused "👁 👄 👁 " expression most of the time.

Hae Soo is on the older side, being 33, and at many times, the narrative will prove that with her referring to Tae Ha as "Kid" multiple times, seeing him more like a broken child (Not in the pedophile way, its just common for older people to see people in their early 20s as naive and inexperienced.) And at some point, I think she even tells him that she'll scold him. Her continuing to work hard at her many jobs even after breaking it off with Mincheol once and for all proves that she knows that she still has a long way to go to reach the end of the tunnel.

That being said, she also has very little agency for her own life, and I'm not talking about scenarios that she couldn't easily escape like Mincheol. I'm talking about the little agency over basic decisions she is given by the narrative itself. She does make the active decision to break it off with Mincheol after catching him with Ari but after that, Tae Ha is the one making decisions for her, a few times without her even knowing it. He blocks Mincheol for her while she's asleep, sets up an arranged scene in their old apartment so he can rile Mincheol to by pretending that he just finished up having sex with Hae Soo, and generally is treated like a delicate little flower who needs to have her hand held everywhere. With justifications for these poor writing decisions being, once again, her sad backstories that basically infantalize trauma victims as scared wittle kittens that need to be given the utmost "UwU, cinnamon roll" treatment, instead of, you know, treating them like actual people instead of helpless infants?

This characterization just really bugs me because I don't know how I'm supposed to perceive her. If the narrative really wanted to intentionally portray her as a innocent cinnamon roll who needs protection then as much as I would have been annoyed, I would have at least had an easier time knowing how to perceive her. Tears on a withered flower wants to have its cake and eat it too, it wants the readers to see Hae Soo as this broken down woman who has become a husk of her former self and whose experiences have hardened her into the hard working serious woman we were introduced to, while also wanting her to act all quirky and innocent where all she needs is a few more chapters of lovebombing and boom! She's ready to love Tae Ha wholeheartedly before she realizes that she doesn't even know what kind of job he has.

Is she supposed to be a wary woman who needs time to adjust before trusting someone? Or is she just a shy bby who needs to be carried from place to place? Pick a lane and stick with it! The whiplash is killing me.

3: SO MUCH ATTENTION ENDS UP GOING TO TAE HA!

I don't like this guy the way the author wants me too. One problem I had with Tae Ha was that he also had little to say about him outside of Hae Soo and the author did actually fix that, he is now not so boring and even interesting to follow thanks to his family lore getting dropped.

The downside? Tae Ha is pretty much the new main character and Hae Soo might as well just be nothing more than the hot piece of ass who exists solely as an accomplishment for the main protagonist to achieve.

Sure, we still don't know EXACTLY why he started obessesing over some woman he hardly knew, but he at least now has more interesting traits that make him feel like a person written with actual care in mind. Hae Soo's entire life on the other hand is barley passing something as basic as the Bechdel test by the skin of its teeth.

You know how the first half of sleeping beauty was Aurora dreaming of nothing other than finding true love and the rest of the time she's on screen, shes asleep and she doesn't even have anymore lines while Philip does everything else? That's basically Tae Ha and Hae Soo except her version of dreaming about love before meeting the man doesn't even exist so there's even less for her to work with.

Not trying to talk shit about sleeping beauty, there is nothing wrong about girls who's goal in life is to find a loving spouse and if your goal in life is to find a husband you love and raise kids together, then I completely support you and I wish you for the absolute best, I'm just using examples of shallowness in characters because trad wives are still their own people. Sleeping beauty, as shallow as its characters are, is still not an absolutely terrible Disney princess movie and theres still a lot that can be found to enjoy about it if you aren't fond of how Aurora is characterized, such as the subplots with the fairies. Tears on a withered flower on the other hand completely REVOLVES around the romance between Hae Soo and Tae Ha, with all the subplots being extensions of that love story, and not just minor extensions, but major plot points that will contribute to Hae Soo and Tae Ha's love story. So if the main event is going to be all about a love story, then you're going to want to put in the extra effort for your female lead if your goal is to convince the audience to come back to see what happens in her story next.

4: Her, and almost every other female character in this story, personalities are tailored around the male characters.

First off: We see plenty of minor characters in this story, but every single minor character who is female is either talking to eachother about how handsome Tae Ha or Tae Hee are, or they are getting railed by another male character, or they exist to chase after the men in Hae Soo's life and therefore, are nasty "pick me" bitches that Tae Ha needs to put in their place.

Ari's character is like a exaggerated version of Hae Soo if she had a stable financial background. While to be fair, there is a chance that Ari will be utilized in the future, I don't have much hope on it anymore since she sort of just exists to be young and dumb so we can see Mincheol at his worst when he abuses her.

Hwa Jung is made to be jealous of Hae Soo for being beautiful and gentle enough to attract all the attention away from her and is the embodiment of that one trope where all flat cheated women are secretly jealous of the big tittied fmc who doesn't realize that she's gorgeous.

Heeji has only appeared around 3-4 times and all we know about her is that she has a crush on Tae Ha and that's it, there's literally nothing about her that we know of and all we can hope for is that she is not turned into a love rival.

And we already talked about how Hae Soo is characterized.

The only female character that has shown up more than once so far who isn't written as a jealous wench against Hae Soo is her barbecue co worker, (Neaul I think her name was?) But thats one character who, unlike characters like Ari and Hwa Jung, hasn't really been doing anything outside of cheering Hae Soo on a couple of times.

Right now, we were just recently introduced to what I am assuming is Tae Joo's wife but so many people are speculating that she's going to be the evil mother in law trope so cross your fingers.

Conclusion:

Hae Soo's character writing has honestly gotten even worse now. Its been over 60 chapters and the excuses are running out, I don't know how I'm supposed to see Hae Soo as this complex individual when her entire life has been centered around a man, whenever it be Mincheol or Tae Ha, it's always about a man.

[fakelaceyy]

⋆˚꩜｡ 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙚, 𝙜𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩 - 𝙢𝙤𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙣 𝙗𝙖𝙨𝙚𝙗𝙖𝙡𝙡

summary - matt hates worrying about himself, or what he's gonna do with his life, especially if you're asking him. yet, you don't seem to notice. you talk to him like he's the only friend you've got, which has made him try to convince himself he doesn't like you.

warnings - use of y/n , not proofread , angst if you squint , mean!matt , cursing , crying , mentions of jealousy.

go check out the rest of my "you're gonna miss it all" writing marathon ! (huge creds to @delilahsturniolo for the writing marathon idea!)

he never thought he'd be laying on his bed at 11:30 at night, phony lazily held up to his ear as you asked him if he was okay for the fifteenth time.

you often left calls, texts or voicemails like that. calling to see if he had nothing to be sad about. of course, he always did, but he'd never admit that to you. not to the girl he tried to convince himself he hated.

you never shut up. your whole life, you've always rambled and told everybody everything. it was a hard habit to break, especially since you weren't the best with social cues.

"y/n, goddamnit, i'm fine," matt grumbled, trying to make you take the hint.

"are you sure?" you pressed on, zoning out a bit as you stared at your bedroom door.

you hesitated for a moment before you said your goodbyes. you didn't want to, but when you had finally picked up on his tone, you didn't want to annoy him anymore.

10:34 am.

for matt, it was early as hell. but for you? that was a normal, reasonable time to hang out with friends.

yet, today...you had no friends to hang out with.

they weren't answering their phones. their locations were off. and there's no way you could check their instagram, since there was something wrong with your account again.

just your luck, huh?

you sighed as you sat down on your bed, leaning back against the pillows. you dig your phone from your pocket, and the next thing you know, matt's contact name lights up the screen.

you pressed the call button, then put the phone up to your ear. it rang a few times before matt's groggy voice came through the speaker.

"what do you want, y/n?" he sighed, "it's ten-thirty, why are you even up?" he continued.

"yeah, it's ten-thirty, why aren't you up?" you asked, your brows furrowing in confusion, "uh..just wanted to ask if you can hang out today. my friends ditched me." you explained.

"i'm not up because im not a fuckin' psycho," he scoffed, "no, i'm not hanging out with you."

"why?" you asked innocently.

"because i don't like you," he said bluntly, "can you just leave me alone? you're makin' me want to block you," he practically spat.

you froze as you processed his words.

didn't like you? since when? he had always been nice to you, letting you vent to him about anything. since when did he decide he didn't like you?

it felt like a punch to the gut.

"okay.." you mumbled, not sure of what else to say, "i'll talk to you later," you almost stuttered.

- - - -

matt sat silently in his room, wondering how bad his words had affected you. he hated having to worry about that, but he hated worrying about himself even more. he'd do anything to get his mind off of his own situation, but...

hurting you made him feel horrible.

he glanced over to his phone, asking himself if he wanted to call you back.

no, that'd be stupid. he was the one who told you to piss off in the first place.

he laid back against his pillows, rolling his eyes. why did he care so much?

why did he have to lead you on?

why did he have to make you feel like shit for his own benefit?

- - - -

the rest of the day passed on painfully slow. you tried to busy yourself to distract your mind from the fact your friends had ditched you, and the fact matt practically hated you.

but matt..he didn't have you. he knew he didn't. he thought it was some kind of defense mechanism to keep himself from worrying, from hurting himself.

as the day became night, you found yourself on his contact again. instead of calling, like you normally did, you left a simple message.

are you okay? did i upset you earlier? i'm sorry

you waited thirty minutes. thirty minutes just to check back and see that he had left you on read.

you sighed, hesitating before you sent another message. you knew it was bad, and that you probably sounded desperate, but..you were.

matt what's going on

almost an hour passed. an hour of waiting anxiously for his reply. and when his message came through, it left you feeling more confused then reassured.

just leave me alone y/n.

it was fine, you supposed. maybe he needed room. time to think, maybe. maybe you should stop pushing so hard.

a/n: this was so rushed bc i needed to get something out for it .. im sorry !!

[plaidpajamallama]

You Revived me: Rhea Ripley X Jey Uso

Chapter 12 Addressing the problem

_________________________________________________

It was funny how life repeated itself sometimes.

Last year, around this time, she was fighting her ex-best friend, who took everything from her. She picked and fought for a man who she thought loved her, she had a family, and had a brother, but they all left her in the end.

“It’s exhausting fighting with him all the damn time, and we're just going in circles each time, never getting anywhere.”

She was lying in Liz’s office, on her couch, looking up at the ceiling.

“And, you're both still fighting about the same thing?” Liz asked, getting her pen ready.

“Yeah, it's the same stupid shit every time,” she ran her hands down her face.

“Have you had another panic attack since last Sunday?”

“No, I’ve been anxious, but no I haven’t had another one, why?” She turned her head to look at her. "You think they're connected?”

“Well, Rhea, from what you have said about Jey, and this ‘crashing out’ you're worrying about him, and you're worried about Naomi, and this match you're having soon, right?”

“Jey is not the problem.” She explained, sitting up swiftly.

“I’m not saying that, Rhea,” she clarified, “we are trying to nail down the source of your anxiety, and that means going through all the stressors in your life.”

“Well, he’s not the problem, so skip ahead.” She plopped back down, waving her hand for her to continue.

“Ok.” She heard Liz’s pen scratching around on the paper. “What are you writing?” She shot back up.

“You know I can’t tell you that, Rhea.” Liz didn’t even look up at her.

She groaned, watching her write about her. “What? Am I wrong or something?” She grabbed the hem of her shirt, a warm lump creeping up her throat.

“There’s no right or wrong, Rhea.” She looked up at her, dropping her pen.

She told her that a lot, and it never stuck because it never felt like that.

“It doesn’t feel that way, it feels like I’m always wrong, or doing something wrong.” Her voice cracked.

“Rhea, there’s no right way to healing.”

“But I’m not healing, I'm hurting!” She put her hand to her chest, “It feels like last year all over again, it's the same thing.” The feeling in her throat was hot as her eyes started to burn.

She’s been feeling like this for a while, seeing all the signs, the posters, all of it; she wasn’t alone, she had Jey and Damian, but it surely didn’t feel like it.

“Rhea,” Liz started setting her clipboard down in her lap, “Rhea, take a deep breath, it’s okay, you're allowed to hurt, that’s how you heal. This is a deeper issue, and Jey may not be the only source, but he’s one of them.”

She huffed, crossing her arms, wiping a stray tear that fell before it got too far down her cheek.

“He and Naomi are triggering the old feelings that are incapable in Summerslam, and they're causing your stress and anxiety.”

“So what do I do then?” She said softly.

“You tell him, talk to him.” She leaned forward in her seat, her tone was considerate; she wasn’t talking down to her, she was trying to reach her.

“Because from what I have gathered, you and he haven’t actually talked about the issue, you're both just talking around the issue.”

“We talk about it all the time. What are you talking about?” She threw her hands down by her sides.

“You’re arguing about it, Rhea, not talking. There’s a difference; you both need to sit down and talk.”

“He doesn’t want to fucking talk to me!” She said loudly, irritated.

“No one likes to talk to Rhea, especially about their feelings. Look how long it took you to not only come here to see me, but also open up to me. No one likes to talk about their feelings, but you both need to, actually, you have to.”

“Have too? You’re not my boss, I pay you.”

Liz laughed, she had heard that one many times, “Yes, Rhea, you have too. And as your therapist, I’m telling you you need to talk, not argue, and next time I see you, I want to hear about your conversation, or I’ll be seeing both of you here next time, and we'll have a group session.”

She knew Liz was serious, she took her job very seriously, and she was not going to drag Jey to therapy with her in the middle of all this.

“Alright, fine, we'll talk.”

“Good, I hope to hear all about it next week.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll see you next week by myself hopefully.”

———-

Jey was in their home gym, music blasting in his ears through his headphones.

He saw Roman’s dumb video telling him, “if he wanted, he could join him to fight Bron and Bronson at Summerslam”

He made it seem like he was asking, but he wasn’t.

He tried his best to act like everything was all good on Monday in the ring when he came to save him from the Bron's attack, but his emotions got the best of him, and he shoved him away from their hug.

They both played it off in the ring, but once they walked through that curtain, he wasn’t all that happy about it, and let it be known very clearly that it wouldn't happen again without “consequences.” he would’ve laughed in his face if he could.

He also told him he needed to keep Rhea, “on her leash” he didn’t have a clue what he was talking about, but he shut that shit down immediately, telling him to keep his girl’s name out his damn mouth before he beat his ass, and he would’ve hit him, but he didn’t, he keep his word to Rhea.

His music cut out briefly before returning, pushing back out all the thoughts he was trying to keep away.

He grabbed his phone off one of the benches, seeing a notification that Jimmy posted on his story.

He held his phone in his hand, looking down at it. He would never say it to his face, but fuck did he miss his brother.

He missed him enough without Roman being back, and now he needed his brother more than he liked to admit.

He was the only one who really understood what his relationship with Roman was.

Maybe he should just apologize? It was his fault anyway. He slipped his phone in his bright, blue shorts pocket, grabbed his water bottle off the ground, and walked out of the house gym.

He pushed everything away again, just focusing on the sound of RnB flowing through his ears.

He walked through the house; that felt empty even with them both in it.

His slightly dirty all white Adidas clacked against the wood floors as he made his way towards the kitchen.

He drank from his bottle, moving mindlessly around the kitchen island.

“If it ain’t a party then it’s finna be.”

He took the top off his bottle, filling it back up, humming to himself before turning around to put the lid back on.

He mumbled over the lyrics of D’Evils by Sir as he screwed the lid back on.

“Quarter pound of fire burnin daily, harder to remember, gettin harder to remember.”

Did Jey know how to really sing? No, not one bit, but did he sound bad? No, not at all. He was a man of many talents, and he wasn’t even trying this time. Yes, Jey was one of those people.

“Cause life is so much better when you live in slow mot- Ah! shit!” He dropped his water bottle, spilling water all over their feet.

He pulled his headphones off his ears, all the noise of the “world flooding back.

Damn, Mama, you scared me, I didn’t hear you come in here.” He grabbed his chest like he was on the verge of a heart attack.

She covered her mouth as she started to laugh, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” The end of her words got captured in more laughter.

Her laughter was contagious as he braced himself on the kitchen island, his knees buckling.

They both found themselves on the floor from laughing so hard, either not caring or unaware of the puddle of water they were in.

They hadn’t laughed in who knows how long, it was always go go go, and when they were home, they were fighting. This was the first time in a long time that everything faded away, and it was just them.

Happy, and on the verge of tears, stomachs hurting, completely unsure what they were even laughing about now.

“Oh my god, stop it hurts!” That was all she managed to get out, lying on her back, grabbing her gut.

Jey wiped a tear from under his eyes, leaning against the island. “Damn.”

His eyes caught hers, seeing something he hadn’t seen in a while, and it was like a string was attached to her, and she pulled on it.

Rhea suddenly and unexpectedly found his lips on hers, and she didn’t deny it; she ached for his touch, it was an addiction, and she needed it.

She pulled him closer by the sides of his head, his hands moved across her hips as he moved his body on top of hers.

Maybe this was wrong, maybe it was bad to have sex in the middle of a big fight, or maybe they were just avoiding the long conversation they needed to have, but who cared? This is what they needed. They needed each other even if only for ten minutes.

She gasped, grabbing the back of his neck, “Fuck Jey.” She whispered his name like it was forbidden, but the most forbidden things were the best things.

One of his hands grabbed her waist, keeping her hips on the cool tile floor, while the other reached up her arm to her hand, lifting it above her head, their fingers interlocking.

He missed her just as much as she did; it almost burned when she ran her hands down his back, dragging her nails along the many lines in his skin.

He groaned against her mouth as he sank into her.

She bent her legs at the knees, resting them beside his hips, feeling the puddle of water under her feet.

They didn’t speak, just moans and groans left their mouths, their lips never leaving each other until they needed air, and she would go lightheaded before that.

The sound of their bodies against the hard tile floor echoed through the house.

She grabbed the back of his head, his fluffy hair curling around her fingers, pulling his head back so she could look in his eyes.

His dark, coffee colored eyes were big and full of desire. His pace slowed, still deep, just slower.

“I love you babygirl,” he whispered subconsciously, squeezing her hand.

She squeezed it back, “I love you, too." He kissed her again passionately.

She gripped his hand harder, that feeling deep in her gut about to snap, her toes curling as it did.

Jey pulled back to see her face again, her chest heaving, “Fuck!"

“Should we have done that?”

“Probably not.”

———

She was clean and showered, a towel wrapped on top of her head, sitting on the edge of the bed in her robe.

The sun had now set, hours had passed since their time on the kitchen floor; her back still hurt a little from it.

She rubbed some lotion on her smooth legs, thinking about the rest of the day.

Her bracelet rattled against her skin, the silver, diamond, infinity bracelet Jey bought her, which felt so long ago.

She never took it off unless she was wrestling, and then she would put it right back on after.

She heard Jey’s big, flat feet on the floor. She smiled on her face, immediately falling, knowing why he was coming upstairs.

He walked through the doorframe in basketball shorts, still shirtless.

“Hey, Mama just came to get my stuff.” He pointed to the pillows on the forever-untouched side of the bed.

She hummed in acknowledgment, looking back down, continuing to rub lotion into her skin.

“Alright,” he mumbled, walking over to the bed, grabbing his pillows to take down to the couch, “Oh, um I didn’t ask you how therapy was today?” He stopped holding the pillows under his arms.

“It was good, she said that Summerslam holds feelings, or something, and that’s why I’m feeling this way. She also said that…you and Naomi are causing me anxiety.”

“I'm causing you anxiety?” He asked, worry lacing his voice, that was the last thing he wanted to do.

“That’s just what she said?” She shrugged, trying not to make it something, “And that we needed to talk, not argue.”

“Well, I agree with her on that because we're not getting anywhere.” He rubbed the back of his neck.

“I know, I know.” She sighed, looking back down at her legs. He turned back around to walk out, but she couldn’t take it anymore.

“Come back.” She whispered, scared that he wouldn’t want to.

“Huh?” He turned back around, hoping he had heard her correctly.

“Come back to bed, I’m sick of sleeping alone." She leaned forward, running her hand over his spot. “Come back to me.”

“You sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure, come back, my love.” She pulled the blanket back.

He didn’t need to be told twice.

He walked back over to the bed, climbed onto the bed and kissed her, before sitting down next to her.

“So, talk to me babygirl, what's going on?” He leaned back against the pillows, wrapping his arm across her shoulder.

“I don’t know, I’m scared history is repeating itself.”

“Rhea, I’m yours, and I like where I’m at, and I ain’t leaving.”

She laughed, “I know, just with all the fighting, it just–I don’t know, I’m working on, it's why I’m seeing Liz, but it’s really hard right now when you're being so distant, you know?”

He nodded his head, letting her know he was listening to her

"I know babygirl, I was just trying to give you some space and-and I needed a little space too, honestly just to think."

She turned around in his arms, wrapping hers around him, looking slightly up, "I don’t want anymore space, I just want you to talk to me and I’ll talk to you."

"Ok babygirl, were talk," he kissed her forehead, You wanna talk bout what we did on the kitchen floor earlier?"

She couldn’t help but laugh a little bit. She wasn’t sure what got into her or him. It just happened, maybe it was the lack of intimacy or any affect in general besides a kiss and her being sad post-therapy, she just wanted to feel loved for a moment, and that’s what she told him, the truth

"Me too, I miss you? Missed you?" he wasn’t sure which one he should use, still not sure where they stood even right now in this bed together, he wasn’t sure

"Missed me." She corrected him. "You missed me, I’m letting you out of the dog home now."

She felt his laugh vibration through her chest, reminding her she was technically naked

"Alright, good," he smiled. "Can I ask you another question then?"

"Yeah sure."

"Have you had another panic attack since Evolution?" Her mentioning it a minute ago made him think about it.

"No," she was being honest, "But my anxiety is still bad, she said that could be from Summerslam though."

"But also us?" He asked cautiously, not sure if he wanted to know the answer.

"Yeah, but you already know why, so." She shrugged, not wanting to talk about that right now, and he could feel her starting to pull away from him mentally again.

"Hey," he grabbed her chin with two of his fingers, pulling her back to him, "I know and were talk about that just not tonight, okay?"

"Okay," she agreed, it was too late for that talk right now.

"So…you said your anxiety is still bad, right?"

"Yeah, why?" She tilted her head slightly to the side.

"Cause I think I might be able to help hang on," he moved off the bed, heading towards the closet

"What are you doing?" She called out after him, taking this time to fix her robe so he wouldn’t come back getting any ideas and throwing the towel on her head on the floor.

Jey came back out with a small wooden box in his hands.

"You just keep a box in the closet? Why?"

"And you keep a box under the bed, but I don’t ask questions, do I?" He retorted, shooting her a knowing look.

She scoffed dramatically, her face getting a little hot. "I umm," she cleared her throat. "I didn’t know you knew about the box under the bed."

"Mm-hmm, you can show me sometime, but tonight," he said, sitting back down next to her. "We can play with this one."

She gently (for her, not for him) smacked his arm at his choice of words.

He opened the box as soon as he opened it, an earthy herbal scent hit the air, letting her know immediately what this box stored.

"Jey ." She gave him a look.

"It will help with the anxiety and get whatever’s on your mind off it."

"Mhm and?" She crossed her arms.

"And it’s fun, so get high with me, Mama." He smiled, grabbed her legs, now that she was sitting across from him on the bed, while he sat against the headboard, the box beside him. "Come on."

"Fine, light it, but you're washing all my bedding in the morning."

"Deal." He took a lighter out of the box before setting it on the nightstand.

He lit the joint, taking a drag before passing it to her.

The earthly scent filled her lungs. It had been a long while since she smoked, and damn.

Her lungs burned from the lack of oxygen as she took a longer drag than him.

"Damn girl," she passed it back, "For someone who hates when I smoke, you sure know how to." He said, taking another puff.

"What did you think we did in the Judgment day all the time? We would’ve probably broken up much sooner if we all didn’t."

"I feel you, this is what kept us all sane in the bloodline." He gave it back to her.

"Is that why you’re doing it?" She could already start to feel her mind becoming clouded as she laid down.

"Sometimes, but not always, sometimes you just gonna get high."

"Well, I can’t argue with that, and it’s good shit too." He laughed, "I only put good shit in my body, Mama and yours too." he ran his hand up her ankle to her calf.

"Uh-uh," she kicked his hand off her, "Just because you're back in my bed doesn’t mean your back in my panties," she wiggled her fingers, telling him to pass it back.

"I was just in them!" He argued.

"That was in the heat of the moment, my love," she took another drag, "But who knows? Let's see where the weed takes us," she smirked reaching her hand back out, passing him the joint back to him.

——

Rhea walked barefoot down the stairs, one of his shirts hanging off her shoulder, her shorts just barely peeking out from underneath, her hair in a messy bun bouncing on top of her head as she walked with a pep in her step.

She walked past the dining table to the kitchen, seeing Jey move around in the kitchen like it was the ring.

Rhea could cook if she needed to; she usually didn’t, but she could. Now Jey, like the show off he was, he could cook very well (he always gave props to his mom for that), but not only could he cook, he liked to, and she liked to watch him do it.

"Good morning, baby," she said, walking through the wide threshold into the kitchen, hopping up on the island.

"Good morning, Mama, I made a pot of coffee," He pointed over in its direction, continuing to do what he was doing at the stove.

Ooh, thank you," she hopped off grabbed a mug from the cabinet and poured herself a cup.

"Did you work out this morning?" She asked, sipping from her mug, standing to the side of him

"No, I didn’t, just got used to waking up early, so I came down here, didn’t want to disturb you."

She watched him carefully, looking for a lie, but didn’t see one.

She smiled before saying, "I’m surprised we still have food to eat after last night."

He chuckled, "We don’t. But I found some food up in here."

His phone buzzed a couple of times on the counter next to him. He glanced at it, just groaning, knowing who it was and what he wanted.

Rhea moved around to the other side of him, grabbing his phone off the counter, seeing at least four new texts from Roman.

"What’s his deal? You agreed to his proposal, what else does he want?"

"Now he wants to make sure we're on the same page, and shit, I don’t know, I don’t care he’ll be alight. Here," he said handing a plate with two eggs on it and some potatoes on it.

She kissed his cheek, taking it from him, "Thank you, baby."

"You’re welcome, go wait at the table, I’ll be there in a second."

She was a little confused why he told her to go sit at the table, they never sat over there unless people were over but she didn’t think to hard about it.

It didn’t take him too long to come sit with her, his plate filled to the brim with eggs and potatoes and two waffles.

She sat at the head while he sat next to her.

"So, why are we here and on the couch like usual?" She asked sprinkling some pepper over top of her food.

"Cause I wanted to talk to you."

"Oh?" She was surprised he never initiated a conversation like this; it was always her, "Oh, okay."

He fumbled with his fork, thinking of what he wanted to say before saying it.

"First off, I’m sorry, I’m sorry I've been sneakin, around acting like I’m handling my shit when I’m not. It's fight or flight and I ain’t been in that mode since I left the bloodline. I wasn’t sure what it was until Roman came back, and him being back puts me right back in that spot where I feel like I have to try and survive, and I should’ve told you that from the beginning when you asked me."

"So then why didn’t you just say that?" She leaned back in her chair, giving up on eating her food at this current moment.

"Because I was nervous about what you would say."

She couldn’t see it, but she just knew that he was fidgeting with his fingers under the table.

"Why? I have never given you grief about what you still deal with from your time with the bloodline. Now that doesn’t mean I not gonna hold you accountable for your actions like now, but if it’s stemming from your trauma-"

His shoulders tightened up for a second before relaxing again.

He didn’t like to use the word Trauma, though that what it is. He didn’t like it; it made it feel like it was more real than he liked it to be.

"-Then were figure it out like we always do, baby." Her voice was softer than before.

"I didn’t mean to worry or stress you out, Mama."

"You didn’t worry me, Jey, you scared me."

"Scared you?" His face was flooded with worry.

"Yes, I’m scared because this weekend, when I left for tour, I was scared that you would do something stupid while I was gone, I don’t want to have to watch over you, Jey, I don’t want to have to worry about you when I’m not here or hell when I am here."

"And I know Roman’s only makes it worse, like you said, it’s a fight or flight response, Jey, that’s why I told him to back off."

"You what?" The worry on his face grew, but now also a look of panic.

"Last Monday, when he came back, I told him once you left that if he talked down to you again, he would regret it." She explained plainly.

He ran his hand over his mouth, collecting his thoughts, realizing that was what Roman was talking about.

"Rhea, how many times have I asked you not to talk to Roman? Nothing good comes from talking to him."

She scooted her chair a little closer to him, hearing the panic in his voice.

"Jey, did he do anything this week?"

"I mean, he got mad, but nah, not really like how he usually does."

Ok, see so don’t jump to the worst, baby."

"Rhea, you don’t get it and I don’t want you to, but you can’t just be talking to Roman however you want. He plays by his rules and only his."

"Jey," she scooted closer to him, their knees touching, "Jey, when I told you I wouldn’t let anyone hurt you that way again," she laid her hand on his knee, "I promised you I would and I meant it."

That same old look that gleamed in his eyes that night in the tub some time ago passed through his eyes again.

She had been thinking about this for a while, but he had told her no before when she asked, but another try couldn’t hurt right?

"Jey, I think you should go to therapy."

"Huh?" He looked at her like she was crazy.

"I think you should try therapy, I think it could really help you out with your issues."

"And what? Go to some stranger and tell them that my cousin beat me, but we’re still cool sometimes. I sound like a crazy person, Rhea."

"Jey therapy not like that, their there to listen, not judge you, baby, and I’m just asking you to try."

"I don’t want to talk about my life to some stranger."

"Don’t think about it like that, ok? And I’m just asking for three weeks."

"Three weeks?"

"Yes! You have to actually make an effort, Jey, one day a week for three weeks, just a trial run to see if you like it or if it helps.

He grumbled dismissively. He didn’t like the idea of telling someone he didn’t trust his problems, his thoughts, his issues, as she put it.

But that was just what was on the forefront of his mind; the real issue was much larger than what he allowed himself to believe.

She moved from her chair to his lap, her legs resting on the outside of his thighs, her hands resting on his chest.

"Jey, don’t think about it like you need fixing, that’s not what therapy is, it’s to help you figure out things you can’t on your own. I’m not saying you need to be fixed. I’m saying that this is something deeper, and I can’t be the only one to help you work through it ."

He grabbed her wrist gently, looking up at her. She could see the consideration on his face.

"You said just three weeks?"

"Yes, for three weeks, once a week to see if it helps, not just with this but with everything."

He nodded his head slightly, "Alright, I’ll try, I’ll actually try this time."

"Thank you, my love."

He tisked, "Don’t thank me yet, Mama, were see what happens next week," his thumb rubbed back and forth across the inside of her wrist.

She leaned forward, kissing his lips. "Thank you anyway."

His hands gravitated to her body, finding rest loosely around her hips.

"I never meant to scare you, Rhea."

"I know, but you did, and that’s why I need you to actually try."

He nodded, "I will, I mean that shit Rhea."

"Ok, then make me believe it, show me that you actually want to try and get better."

"I will." He didn’t know how else to say it; there was no way to convince her other than just to do it. "I promise you I will."

"I'm gonna hold you to it."

"When have I ever broken a promise to you, Rhea?"

_________________________________________________

Sorry this took so long I got busy 🫣 but would it really be a new chapter if I didn’t drop last as fuck🤨😂 I hoped you enjoyed

[gold-rhine]

"However, the narrative never truly punishes TIrzad" - how do you want narrative to punish tirzad, i'm really curious. like his character development arc is being arrogant bigot, learning that he's wrong, being humuliated and humbled by it, apologizing to people he was wrong to, writing research with truth, then being persecuted and put on trial by his own instituition. Like, do you want him idk die for this?

"We can infer that Tirzad might have excluded the part where his guide perished, seeing as forty-six researchers are now chomping at the bit to run into ruins in hopes of recreating his success." i'm sorry, this is crazy stretch to me. Jebrael didn't just randomly perish, he merged with deshret's hive-mind in golden slumber. It's like THE most extraodionary thing that happened in that quest. You think a researcher would just exclude the absolute most banger revelation like that? Why? because 40 more researchers want to look into it and in genshin, researchers famously never go into any dangerous places?? Like I personally think that it's more reasonable to infer Jebrael and Jeht are not mentioned in post scriptum bc the entire book is centered on them, bc Jeht owns a lil robot that opened literary every single door in that quest and Jebrael explained all important lore and then took whole finale action scene. While Traveler just hanged around, so there was no reason to mention them in research itself. I mean, how does your version go, Trizad has entire character development arc of realizing he's wrong about desert ppl and apologizing to Jebrael and Jeht, only then to maliciously strike them from the book where they were the main actors?? why?

And like it's also incredibly weird to me that you frame that follow up quest like it's about valorizing Trizad when he doesn't even show up. To me, it was very on the nose critique of akademiya - they raised Trizad up when he was supporting their anti-desert propaganda, but immediately turned on him when he dared to go against it. Like why is he on trial if not for pro-desert stance? it makes actually zero sense if it's not about critiquing akademiya censorship, and these 40 researchers are not fans of personally trizad, they are here to show that when one of akademiya sages speaks up truth, he gets punished, but it's still worth it, because dozens more will pick up that truth and continue the work. It's about how institution tries to censor real research that goes against its agenda, but that truth will get out anyway.

"So yeah, maybe I did fall for the easiest trick in the book. Maybe I fell for it because the stories that follow this tale did very little to back up what it claimed to be doing." - okay, sure, but that huge goalpost moving, bc initial point i quoted was about hoyo abandoning nuance in matters of systemic injustice bc traveler can't directly argue with trizad, and now you're saying it's bc the following quest didn't give sufficient dedication to Jebrael, while agreeing with all my point about actual dialogue with trizad. i wouldn't even mind the point that following quest should have credited Jebrael and Jeht more openly, but that's completely different point.

@nomoraamongfivearchons sorry, not trying to start any fights, but saw these tags and they are legit like. baffling to me.

like, how long ago have you played golden slumber? bc the actual narrative of that quest is that we start on tirzad's side bc we're hired by him, and he's just super on the nose, cartoonish caricature of like racist egyptologists who gets to be proven wrong by jebrael, while jebrael is presented as a complete chad from the start and jeht is one of the most popular NPCs in the game. tirzad even has the talking point about how clearly deshret was evil tyrant and all of his great pyramids were created by slaves, just to be proven wrong there too. like the whole point of tirzad is that he's obnoxiously wrong and arrogant at the start of the quest, but then during the travels and interactions with jebrael and jeht and also actually doing research he changes his mind and realizes how wrong he was. he literally apologizes to jebrael and jeht at the end. not only he apologizes, but he also dedicates his career to publishing truth he's learned. and he gets ostracized for it by akademiya, bc akademiya are not the good guys! like thats the whole point? like jebrael ends up completely validated, right about everything and framed as a hero in the end.

like, genshin is not a western rpg where you get to roleplay the choices. it uses traveler and paimon as narrative device and it very often have them duped by villains or be ignorant and prejudiced just to have them learn their lesson and realize they were wrong. its a kindergarden level narrative trick that i'm baffled you're missing here.

[indooroutdoorboyfriend]

i genuinely cannot stay asleep for longer than twenty minutes at a time so i am gonna be weird and introspective instead. evan character analysis. btw no i am not in a crisis or anything i'm just trynna dr house my neuroses. delete that "are you good??" dm right now

[follineo]

UUUUGHGGHGHGHGH,,,,

[ismyteadoneyet]

conversation: *takes a turn into gen-ai*

me: I have trained for this for months. I have heard every stupid argument possible and nothing will baffle me

brother: *somehow comes up with an even stupider argument*

me: what in the entire fuck