#it's ok to have an expy

[andstuffsketches]

Maybe not Impulse, But I think she would date Cissie

a glimpse into a possible future....

[rks-systems]

Sinnoh/Hisui and Unova connections

This is a long post so I am putting it under a cut. If I missed something, tell me.

Obviously, Ingo. (BRING HIM HOME, TPCI.)

Obviously, again, the Forces of Nature.

Also, Zorua and Zoroark, though how they got from wherever they are from to Hisui is a question. (Personally, I think they are natively from Galar/Isle of Armor, since even in Unova, they were a special event pokemon.)

I forgot about the Petilil line SOMEHOW despite it being one of my favourites. Not sure how this one got from Hisui to Unova, or vice versa (I think it went from Hisui to Unova, because it has to be around for the Ancient Hero to have a Lilligant.)

Less confusing about how they got to Hisui, the Rufflet line, the Oshawott line, and Basculin.

Alder and the suspiciously similar Diamond/Pearl Clan venerated member

Security Corps' secret weapon Ress and his impressive yet familiar sideburns. (Picture of Emmet to emphasize the modern continuity of the sideburns and to include him in this post. Ancestor possibility? I don't want to Futurama the twins.)

Other people who look Suspiciously Similar, such as Lian (to Clay), but I don't feel like adding another picture. We know what they look like.

Pokemon found in Unova (BW2) and Sinnoh/Hisui include the following (condensed list): Zorua line*, Rufflet line*, Oshawott line*, Basculin*, Petilil line*, the Forces of Nature, Riolu line, Azurill line, Magnemite line, Growlithe line*, Magby line, Elekid line, Zubat line, Onix line, Gligar line, Mantyke line, Remoraid line, Spheal line*, Swablu line, Bronzor line, Vulpix line*, Sneasel line, Swinub line, Ditto*, Lickitung line, Yanma line, Carnivine line, Tangela line, Nosepass line, and Croagunk line.

White Forest Pokemon not included in the base dex of Unova (BW2): Abra line, Machop line, Gastly line, Rhyhorn line, Porygon line, Togepi line, Wurple line, Ralts line, Shinx line, Budew line, Wooper line, Wingull line, and Happiny line.

Those with a star either appear in Unova and Sinnoh but not Hisui, or in Unova and Hisui but not Sinnoh.

I didn't include Dreamworld pokemon.

I just want to take a minute and point out that Warden Ingo's Hisuian team consists of four pokemon that are found in Unova: Gliscor, Tangrowth, Magnazone, and Probopass. One more (Abra) can be found in the White Forest. (SEND THIS MAN HOME.)

Arceus' plates can also be found in Unova, and while this may have just been a way for the devs to make sure that their data was available to players, they were placed in a significant location for the players to find in-game rather than being sold at auction, like in Paldea.

Finally, the Cave of Being in Unova.

[subsequentibis]

made up some guys to engage in shrinking shenanigans. theyre terrible people and i enjoy them deeply

dr. alfred "alfie" kauffstein is a world class scientist who's committed all future inventions and progress to the ownership of a Shady Space Corporation in exchange for a lifetime of funding. he's working on perfecting true, reversible shrinking technology, none of the pseudo-compression that deep space transport companies are using these days. he has the formula down pat, and now it's just a matter of perfecting the method of application - rays, serums, pills, etc, etc.

robin "robbie" cosmique is a world class scumbag who needed a legit job while he laid low and let the legal consequences of his last get rich quick scheme blow over. the Shady Space Corporation is always looking for ways to keep costs low and the personnel budget is the first to get slashed, so instead of any kind of accredited or qualified scientific expert to assist dr. kauffstein, they hired robbie. he and alfie are always at odds, but nonetheless manage to work rather well together - though they're also the only guinea pigs around for alfie's experiments. robbie will eventually get fired when it's discovered he's been sneaking samples of the shrinking serum for yet another harebrained scheme, but for now they're making the best of it.

[anghraine]

I honestly feel a lot better about having posted anything at AO3, even things I won't finish, and there's something that warms my heart about posting fic for The Borgias in 2024.

I was actually deciding between two different WIPs to represent that "phase" between my undergrad years and grad school. The other one was the prologue to a Legend of Korra/Star Wars fusion in which Noatak/Amon is Korra's father and this is revealed in S1 (I think it was going to be Tarrlok who figures it out first, lol) and it actually affects the plot and it isn't just the LOK canon plot with minor adjustments—the fusion with SW was meant to be more than vague I-am-your-father inspiration. In any case, I only ever wrote the prologue about the Noatak/Senna quasi-romance that led to Korra's existence and never even got to the sheer comedy of Korra as Tarrlok's niece :(

But the Juan and Lucrezia as dysfunctional twins one-shot is closer to being a whole fic (in a side-story way) and I did like being able to add one more to my Borgias oeuvre—and getting at least some part of that AU on AO3 after all the time I spent on it!

[subaru-meteorlight]

FUCKKKK HE HIT THE HAITHAM POSE?!?!?!!!?>]_[]{<~>]<]¥

Kaveh va too……. OuuughhHJIGJHGHHFJN I dunno how I feel about this one folks!!!!!! I hope he’s bitchy 💚💚💚 uwauugh…. I really can’t wait to meet anaxa…. IM SO SCARED?!?!? I’m gonna end up loving him a lot huh?!?! Man………. I wanna pull but I’m supposed to lock the fuck in for phainon e6…. I have 390 pulls now- it’s not enough, it really isn’t. I’m going to eat glass.

What should I do??!??{[]>\<]]$<^¥^[…] UEUUUUEUUEUHSHHFHGHUF ok- if I end up liking him a lot (probable) I’ll pull on debut…. I think….. phainon e6 is up to the gods 💀 not to mention the banner right after phainon’s is- man it’s joever what the fuck

Btw I hope you all know ratio has a brother now. Congrats to haikaveh’s second son

[rhineposting]

saw someone unironically saying "rhinedottir fed nigredo to durin to make nigredo grow better and stronger because durin's stomach is actually nurturing like hummus 😊😊😊" god if you're up there can you revoke this person's rights to speak about rhinedottir, or any morally questionable girlboss for that matter. if you can't accept that a lady had her son swallow her other son whole then just move onto characters who are actually nice instead of rewriting the actually not so good characters to fit your imaginary narrative better.

[girlbob-boypants]

I'm going to be mildly disappointed if the da lore turns out to be "its all evanuris. All of it" when it comes to lore and gods and the world tbh

[elegyofthemoon]

oh i was rambling to eitan about this but idk was thinking about honkai expies and if they do bring a sakura expy, she's either going to be hunt or preservation. like hunt seems obvious tbh but like..... a part of me wishes shes preservation re: the thing that drives her most is the desire to protect her sister like come on yall it makes sense doesnt it... she studies the blade so she can protect.

but then again i also dont really. know whats the hunts deal aside from 'get rid of the abominations' so wah-oh

[agoodflyting]

Good Omens Historical Trivia That's Haunting Me Today...

So we all know A.Z. Fell & Co is located on the fictitious Whickber Street in Soho and was established in 1800.

Aziraphale has run the shop ever since then and was in contact with Crowley at least until the 1820's when they took their little jaunt to Edinburgh and Crowley got sucked down the tube slide to Hell. They meet up again no later than the 1860's, when Crowley asks for Holy Water.

Stands to reason that between the 1820's and 1860's Aziraphale was in Soho doing Aziraphale things. Running his bookshop. Eating tiny cakes

Yeah... you know what else was going on in Soho during that time?

The worst cholera epidemic in London history.

If you don't know, cholera is a deadly bacterial infection caused by drinking contaminated water. Prior to the 1850's humans weren't really sure what caused cholera, but they knew it was terrifying and also that it was absolutely epidemic in big cities.

TW: this is gross - The main symptoms of cholera are agonizing stomach pain and non-stop watery diarrhea, eventually leading to the skin turning blue due to the thickening of blood from severe dehydration. Patients can lose more than 20% of their body weight in hours as they quite literally evacuate every drop of water in their bodies until they die of heart failure. - OK gross part over

Cholera symptoms show up as short as 5 hours after infection and could kill within as little as 12 hours. Cholera was especially terrifying because of how quickly and painfully it killed you, and because the patient maintained mental clarity up until the point of death. More than half of the people who contracted cholera died within a few days after consuming the bacteria-contaminated water.

And guess what water had cholera bacteria in it?

The public water pump on Broad Street in Soho in August of 1854

And this wasn't one of those epidemics that starts slowly and drags on. It hit like a bomb. It killed 600 Soho residents in ten days.

That's roughly 60 people a day in a 3-4 block area. Most of them died at home because the disease struck too quickly for them to to make it to a hospital. Survivors described hearses stacked with coffins 4-5 high going down the street nonstop all day long during the outbreak. Entire families were wiped out overnight.

What does that have to do with Good Omens?

Aziraphale's book shop was right in the epicenter of this outbreak.

Neil Gaiman has been pretty free about the fact that Whickber Street is a thinly veiled expy of the real Berwick Street in Soho.

This is a famous map showing the 1854 Soho Cholera epidemic. I highlighted Berwick Street and the public water pump that was the center of the contagion. The black bars (I circled a few in blue) on the map designate deaths. The thicker the black bar, the more people died in that particular house.

51 people died the week of the cholera outbreak on Aziraphale's Street alone.

Cholera was one of those diseases that provoked a lot of panic, not just because of how fast and painful it was, but because of the way it didn't follow common conventions about class or age. Children died while the elderly survived (often because the elderly had no one to gather water for them). Lower class houses were spared while their middle class landlords died. Churches were packed that week, because people in Soho had no idea who would get sick next. The epidemic pretty much burned itself out in a week and a half, since by that point everyone who drank the water had already died. I have to wonder what our resident Angel was up to during that time. Obviously cholera can't hurt him, but that's his neighborhood. There's no way hundreds of people, including entire families with children, are dying painfully in his neighborhood and Aziraphale doesn't notice. That means that in between this scene:

And this one:

Aziraphale would have watched one of the worst disease outbreaks in London history play out right outside his front door. I feel like there's great potential for a good story there if anyone better than me wants to write it.

[darthstitch]

It's not explicitly stated in the book, but I rather like the idea that Vincent Benitez, whether you choose to have him as somebody's Tio Chente or Tito Enteng, has a large extended family back in his home country.

In my hc, I like the idea of Vincent visiting his family when he makes the inevitable home country trip as Pope Innocent.

So OF COURSE, he ends up happily babysitting (and even baptising a few) great nephews and nieces. One little babbu seems to really attach themselves to Lolo/Tito Enteng ("Lolo or Tito, ok lang yan" - Vincent) so he gets to walk around a bit with Babbu in his arms.

He also introduces Babbu to "my kaibigan, Father Tomas. So, apo ko, what do we do, ha?"

Babbu grins at a bemused and charmed Cardinal Lawrence and happily reaches for his hand so they can do a "mano po."

(Look, Pinoy parents teach kids manners and respect for elders at an early age and mano po is practically instinct for us.)

Someone gets a pic of this and uploads it to socmed - originally for family only but inevitably it gets out in public.

Also, Babbu decides to jump over to "Lolo Tomas" ("Did I just get adopted, Vincent?" and the response to that is a case of bungisngis that would do Expy Cardinal Ijbolitis proud).

Of course, another babbu decides Lolo Enteng looks lonely so they toddle over and demand their turn to be picked up.

There is now a pic on socmed of the two men with babbus in their arms and smiling at each other.

This is how Cardinal Bellini learns of the hashtag #lawrenitez brought over by one of his Pinoy Gen Z priests, functioning as one of the staff monitoring the internets.

[bethanythebogwitch]

Digimon 2024 tier list

Like last year, I'm doing a tier list of how much I like each new Digimon released this year. My tiers will be A for Digimon I really like, B for Digimon I like but not as much, and C for Digimon I'm not enthusiastic about. There will also be one S-tier for my favorite of the year and one D-tier for my least favorite of the year. Also I covered Tlalocmon last year, so see that post for my thoughts and I'm not covering the Monster Hunter tie-in mons since they're not in the reference book.

Digimon Liberator has given us a flood of new Digimon so let's start with the mascot's line. Yolkmon, Fluffymon, Pteromon, Galemon, GrandGalemon, and Zephagamon. Yolkmon is my new favorite baby Digimon. A living egg yolk with an eggshell hat is brilliant and adorable. Fluffymon is also a good design. I find it hard to get invested in a lot of the baby Digimon because they're usually just bouncing heads, so having these two stick out of the pack is great. I'll give Yolkmon an A and Fluffymon a B

Pteromon is a great mascot Digimon. It's got that classic mascot look while also looking distinct from all the Agumon expys we tend to get. Archaeopteryx is a great inspiration and we finally get a theropod dinosaur Digimon with feathers, like the real raptors had. A-tier. I'm not as fond of Galemon (B-tier), but GrandGalemon is great. It's a great fusion of the bird/raptor elements and humanoid warrior elements. The armor and weapon look cool and it being one of the vortex warriors (which, as far as I know, were previously only ever mentioned in MedievalGallantmon's reference book entry) is a cool call-back and it even has an indirect connection to Witchelny. An Excellent Digimon deserving an A. Sadly, I can't say the same for Zephagamon. I can't fully explain why I don't really like it. Maybe it's the skinnier design that drops a lot of the bird elements, or its weapons not being as cool as Zephagamon's mace (swords are overdone), or just being tired of Digimon becoming armored humanoid warriors in their final stages, but I can't help but be a bit dissappointed by Zephagamon. The name is also not my favorite. Maybe they went with that to avoid dub name confusion with Zephyrmon/Shutumon. It's gonna be a C-tier.

Debuting alongside Pteromon's line is Shoemon's line. Shoemon is an amazingly adorable Digimon. A patchwork mouse plushy living in a shoe is a cute and very Digimon concept. I love how it uses a sewing needle as a weapon, too. A-tier. Too bad Shoeshoemon isn't as good. A roller-skating plush squirrel should be a fantastic Digimon, but I just don't like the way it looks. It honestly give me Sonic the Hedgehog vibes and I don't care for StH. The name is also really clunky, especially when Skatemon was right there. That being said, it would have been hilarious if each of Shoemon's evolutions just added an extra shoe to the name until we ended up with Shoeshoeshoeshoemon. C-tier.

While I don't care for Shoeshoemon, Chaperomon is another story. A violent little red riding hood doll with a knife, molotov cocktail, and basket-mounted minigun that hunts big bad wolves and turns them into shoes is not only an amazing concept, it is peak Digimon. It may be early in the list, but Chaperomon is my S-tier. Not only is this my favorite Digimon of the year, it is one of my favorite Digimon of all time. Cendrillmon is ok. I do like the design in a vacuum, but I don't really like it as a final form for Shoemon. It loses the patchwork plushy and doll appearance that I like so much and it doesn't really have shoes anymore. I do like the simple yet elegant design and the army of doll familiars. I think if Cendrillmon was introduced as an evolution for a different Digimon, I would like it a lot better. B-tier.

From the web novel side of things comes the new Impmon evolutions: Punkmon, Loudmon, and HeavyMetaldramon. Punk rock variants of the Guilmon line were not something I knew I needed in my life all. They're also a callback to the early planning stage of Digimon Tamers, where Impmon was planned to be the main partner Digimon. I also appreciate the final form being based on Megidramon instead of Gallantmon. Too many Digimon lines end up humanoid at the end. And wings made of electric guitars? Chef's kiss. A for all of them.

Last year, the D-Brigade got an upgrade after years of just being one evolution line, and this year the Royal Base got the same treatment. It was a good choice, too, as cyborg bees is a fantastic concept. ForgeBeemon the construction worker is a great interpretation of worker bees and Vespamon is a much-needed pre-evo to TigerVespamon. It's weird how many times we've gotten an XYmon years before getting a Ymon. Those both get A. QueenBeemon I'm not as fond of. She loses the cyborg elements and just becomes a woman in a bee costume. It's also weird that like half of her reference book entry is dunking on her like she was one of the bad evolution Digimon. The weaponized throne is a cool idea, but I can't give QueenBeemon higher than a B, which I suppose is appropriate.

PolarBearmon and Skadimon are really fun. I like them as a reminder that not all high-level Digimon have to be ferocious monsters, armored warriors, or women in their underwear. Some of them can be cute and friendly. For Frontier fans, am I wrong in thinking that PolarBearmon with its snowball artillery and being a bear looks way more like a proper unified spirit of ice than Daipenmon? Skadimon actually being a mech suit piloted by what looks like a YukimiBotamon is a fantastic design concept. A for both.

Dinomon kicks absolute ass. Dinosaurs are cool, fire is cool, so a dinosaur on fire is extra cool. This thing is the closest we have to a Digimon Godzilla and I love Godzilla. Plus a new mega for Tyrannomon that isn't DinoRexmon or RustTyrannomon is much appreciated. RustTyrannomon leans a bit evil for a heroic Tyrannomon and DinoRexmon looks too silly for my tastes with that giant claw. A-tier.

Elizamon is too cute not to love. A hot pink frilled lizard in a bowtie is adorable, and its contrast with the edgelord Owen Dreadnought is fantastic. Dimetromon is also really cool, being based on one of my favorite Permian animals, but I feel like it loses some of the frilly feminine traits that Elizamon has and the evolutions will have according to the shadowed shots we've seen of them in Liberator. I give Elizamon an A and Dimetromon a B.

MarineBullmon and Ryugumonbeing nudibranchs makes the marine biologist in me happy. I love nudibranchs and more people being exposed to these spectacular sea slugs is a great thing. Of the two, I definitely prefer Ryugumon more. It's elegant design and referencing Japanese mythology is inspired. I'm going to give MarineBullmon a B and Ryugumon an A.

Espimon has needed a full evolution line for a while. It was always weird that it never got an evolution based level 4 given that it technically is a main protagonist partner in Ghost Game. Oblivimon is a fantastic evolution, doubling down on the spaceship design of HoverEspimon and working in UFO stories with how it abducts Digimon to examine them before releasing them with memories modified. The Kuramon drones are also adorable. A-tier. Sadly, after the highs of Oblivimon, it all comes crashing down with Invisimon. Why, why, why did this line of UFO-themed Digimon have to end with a superhero? I am so tired of Digimon lines ending up as humanoids when the rest of the line isn't, and it's especially bad here. Invisimon sticks out like a sore thumb against the amorphous, spaceship-based, stealth and non-combat elements of the rest of the line. The stealth plane thing is neat at least. I get that Invisimon works with the Liberator Espimon's partner being superhero coded, but it fails as an evolution in any other context. If Invisimon wasn't supposed to be the final form of Espimon, it might be a C or B, but as is, this thing is my D-tier.

As for the new Sunarizamon evolutions, I'll admit that I initially didn't like Landramon, but it's grown on me. I really wanted Landramon to be the land counterpart to Airdramon and Seadramon as a serpentine dragon instead of the silly pile of sand. Once I got over that, I came to enjoy the silliness of Landramon and it is a very fitting Sunarizamon evolution. I'll give it a B. Proganomon is not my favorite and it's another case like Invisimon where I'd probably like it more if it was part of a different evolution line. It's just so out of place in the Sunarizamon line having no sand elements and using technology. I think it would work much better as a Tortomon evolution and a pre-evo to ElDoradimon or even JumboGamemon. I think I'll give it a C. I don't hate it, but I'm not all that impressed either. Pyramidimon, on the other hand, is amazing. It looks like a badass Yu-Gi-Oh monster from when the franchise was still themed around ancient Egypt. I can see it being a great fit with other Egyptian Digimon like Pharaohmon and Anubimon. Pyramidimon almost dethroned Chaperomon's place as my S-tier, putting it as an easy A.

The other big source of new Digimon this year was New Century and it's a crime that game hasn't been released outside of China yet. I covered Takutomon last year and wasn't impressed. I found it visually uninteresting and the armored human is an overused design. Takutomon Wrath Mode has a more interesting design, but I'm still not that interested in it. I think that humanoid armored warrior Digimon have to do something really interesting to stand out from the her and this one just doesn't. He also loses his little Appmon pet. Maybe that's why he's so angry. I'm also surprised that the reference book art is somehow better than the New Century art, which is angled so that most of its body is covered by its leg. C.

If a humanoid armored warrior Digimon has to do something interesting to stand out, Erlangmon does that well. The idea of the warrior fighting alongside a flying wolf head is very unique and fun. Plus, spears are underused as weapons, so it's nice to see one here. Erlangmon is also a shapeshifter, which could be a lot of fun to work with in stories. I have a fanfic in mind that I might use Erlangmon in. I give it an A. Unfortunately, while Erlangmon soars, Erlangmon Blast Mode crashes and burns. Turning the wolf head into a part of the armor loses that cool factor and makes it look so much more generic. Down to C with you.

Nezhamon is also fun. There's a lot of references to the original myth, like turning the wind fire wheel into tires on the ankles and having Nezhamon look young. The merging of the mythology with modern machienery makes for a very Digimon design. Plus, he has a spear and I'm a sucker for weapons where one part floats instead of being attached. I'll go A.

The last New Century Digimon is Jougamon and I like how this one is based on the same moon rabbit origins of Dianamon while still having a totally unique look. The gold coloration looks nice and I love the giant crescent moon blade and dancing fighting style. I'll put it as a strong B.

Our last new entry for the year is Cernumon. Well technically Callismon was added to the reference book this year, but that's not a new Digimon, it's an escapee from V-Tamer jail. Cernumon is such a creative design. A musical instrument, foresty deer god is both very fun and very Digimon. Cernumon comes from the horned Celtic god Cernunnos. Digimon had the opportunity to just make Cernumon a deer man and I'm very grad they decided to get more creative. A-tier.

Here's the final tier list. It's heavily weighted toward the A-tier, which is a good thing. I'm glad that the majority of new Digimon are so cool and likable.

S: Chaperomon

A: Yolkmon, GrandGalemon, Shoemon, Punkmon, Loudmon, HeavyMetaldramon, ForgeBeemon, Vespamon, PolarBearmon, Skadimon, Dinomon, Elizamon, Ryugumon, Oblivimon, Pyramidimon, Erlangmon, Nezhamon, Cernumon

B: Fluffymon, Galemon, Cendrillmon, QueenBeemon, Dimetromon, MarineBullmon, Landramon, Jougamon.

C: Zephagamon, Shoeshoemon, Proganomon, Takutomon Wrath Mode, Erlangmon Blast Mode.

D: Invisimon

[metalshootingstar]

Ok but I have to know, if Van Helsing exists in WWDITS...does Dracula also exist? If so, I am fascinated by the concept of Dracula in the show because. Assuming, that they go for the more historical shoutout instead of just the Bela Lugosi expy route. My mans Dracula, if he is based on the more historical Vlad Tepes fought against the Ottomans....of which we know Nandor fought for.

So does this mean Nandor at one point fought Dracula? Was my mans Dracula the one who turned Nandor? Also think of what this means for Guillermo, since his family is descended from Van Helsing. Aka Dracula's mortal enemy. Like, you're telling me my mans Dracula wouldn't have some thoughts about the descendant of his mortal enemy being with the vampire he sired? Assuming he's the one who sired Nandor

Though it would also be hella funny if he just...didn't give a shit, or better yet if he didn't even remember Nandor.

Nandor: You turned me into a vampire! Dracula:....Do you know how little that narrows it down? I turn people into vampires every other week.

But also, Dracula fucking with Nandor and actually trying to seduce Guillermo in front of him.

[hellobitchlet]

Cool ways to reveal to the Astral Express that Welt is from another universe:

- (the boring one that's probably going to happen) Void Archives casually tells everyone when they finally show up.

- (also pretty likely) the Sky People show up and them having a file on hsr Himeko becomes relevant. Welt is forced to explain.

- they meet their universes' Welt Yang. He's one of the expy's that looks exactly the same as his hi3 counterpart. Welt is forced to explain.

- Schrodinger ends up on the Express somehow and introduces herself as "someone from Welt's universe", completely unaware of him trying to hide it. She then proceeds to randomly mention random bits of lore, including stuff that hasn't been mentioned in hi3 yet, without elaborating. Bonus points if she becomes playable in hsr and she becomes a recurring character.

- Tesla appears out of nowhere (drunk) and slaps him. It turns out that he ran away to hsr secretly because she and Einstein agreed that he shouldn't do that. The Express has to convince her that he's ok so he can stay on board. Einstein eventually shows up to drag Tesla back home.

- the sugars + Kira appear with their candy portal asking for his help. They have the same 'we will only do what we were sent to do and nothing else' attitude from Alien Space and completely ignore the rest of the Express. Bonus points if they have already met Caterina and (assuming that she is a Shub expy) someone says that Niggurath looks like her.

- Carole randomly shows up on a random planet. Welt did not know that she was here. She did not know that he was here. Welt is forced to explain.

[beesmygod]

what bloodborne bosses do you think could be imported into night reign easily? amygdala feels like it would be a blast in elden ring and blood starved beast seems like it could fit in as well

ok i can finally think about this properly. first i agree with you. absolutely amygdala. astel and amygdala are similar enough in scale and behavior that it would be a perfect fit for the combat mechanics of elden ring. the biggest change to consider is the amount of verticality so as long as we choose bosses that aren't instantly wrecked by jumping it should be good.

THINGS I DO NOT WANT TO SEE:

i never want to fight the cleric beast ever again in my life. that includes laurence.

amelia is a boring fight.

the celestial emissary is easily one of the more boring "mob" bosses made by from and should be skipped.

the shadows of yharnam are just three guys. i hate fighting rom unironically.

witch of hemwick is interesting to fight once and after that its just gaming the gimmick to get it done asap.

the one reborn sucks ass.

sulyvahn is the more interesting version of mergo's wet nurse. i would rather see him.

there are more interesting wolves in other games other than paarl.

the living failures are also not good.

DO NOT PUT THE UNDEAD GIANT IN. DONT DO IT

MAYBE:

i would love to fight ebrietas more but since metyr, mother of fingers already exists in the game they might as well stick with her.

gascoigne is like. one of the best bosses in bloodborne, but he's kind of custom-tailored to be a skill check for that game's mechanics specifically. i just don't know if he would have the same sauce without the fight revolving around parrying mechanics.

i don't know if logarius would work. jumping makes his projectiles way less intimidating and you would be able to jump into the sky with him like its a DBZ battle lol

LET'S GOOOO:

i think the blood-starved beast would make an excellent addition to the boss roster because it is fast as fuck and highly aggressive.

gehrman is just a solid fight. no problems with him

same with lady maria but it looks like we're getting a lady maria expy character as one of the player characters. hoo hoo! neat!

lugwig is a really good fight. no reason not to include him. if they can dodge the golden hippo or the fallingstar beast, they can dodge him.

MOON PRESENCE!!! MOON PRESENCE!!!

fuck it, put the orphan in. he's a good fight but idk how he'll translate to a sword and shield game. i beat him with pure parries lol.

yharnam please. i miss her so much.

actually both of the pthumerian descendants too. i miss those guys once they're gone. they're really fun.

the bloodletting and abhorrent beast are fine. they can come too.

COMEDY OPTION: micolash

[wall-maria-around-ba-sing-se]

Yeah I guess if you think about it, it is technically xenophobic that Fire Emblem Fates' entire premise was like "the obvious Japan expy is the very cool honorable peace-loving pacifistic unambiguous good guys and the *gestures vaguely* generally Europe-ish western-y country is the unambiguous bad guys who are cruel and ruthless and use zombie soldiers and have an objectively evil dragon zombie goo king" but it's so fun to dunk on how hard the convoluted narrative tries to gaslight you into believing it thinks the sides are actually both equally morally grey, and the "bad guys" are so much more popular than the "good guys" that people are like ok this gets a pass. You can have one(1) kinda racist game. Great job everybody at Intelligent Systems hit the shower

[peterlorres21stcentury]

I have never considered myself a masochist, but I must be a glutton for punishment, because here I am again reading 1970s novels featuring terrible simulacra of my favorite dead movie actors, back during those few decades of my youth when Old Hollywood was dead but not quite buried and everyone wanted to bask in the faded embers of these old stars before they finally went cold. Or something like that. I'm just a hack writer, not some kind of professional.

Anyway today's book is about Peter Lorre expy Simon Moro (née Rudi Eckmann) and his celebrated return to film in "The Raven," which is not exactly like Peter's appearance in the 1963 movie "The Raven" but it's sort of close. He's wearing the same costume. The first half of the book is mostly a fake memoir of film critics, writers, and fellow actors (and one quack doctor) reminiscing about Moro's genius and depravity.

When I say he's a Peter Lorre expy, he's actually more of a pastiche of a couple actors. Lorre's influence is stunningly clear in some places. For example, Moro's stage background is almost exactly the same, including a psychoanalytical "Theater of Spontaneity" type deal he had going on with the quack doctor. He also has an almost hypnotic effect on the ladies, despite his unusual looks (my complaint is, he's described as bony and rail-thin and not nearly as fat as he should be, but that says more about me than anything else, hehe). But Moro's films are not the sort of movies that Peter would have agreed to at all. In this regard, he is more like Lon Chaney Sr., taking on elaborate creature costumes in a series of monster horror pictures. That's all very well, but I just can't help thinking "Peter would never" every time one of Moro's old monster roles comes up.

But what of Moro's films in Germany? Well, according to the fictional narrative, he did star in a sensational Fritz Lang picture in 1930, about a child-killer named Hans. No, not "M," that would be silly. It's a talkie called... "Zeppelin"... 🙄 which for some reason also stars Conrad Veidt as a zeppelin pilot, who swoops down from the sky to capture the child murderer and drop him out of the bomb bay doors over the ocean.

I didn't make that up. But this fake movie in a fictional novel is actually not as insane as I made it sound. It is much worse:

Kleist puts him in a bottomless cage out over the bomb bay and lets all these frolicsome Kinder run loose around the bars. Shot so that Moro looks like this big furry pet in a pen, right in the middle of a nursery school. He plays it that way too, romping, wagging, gamboling, the big St. Bernard, anything to fight down his impulses, pretend he doesn't have this Reichian compulsion. Then he sees this little blonde girl, younger than the rest, another Heidi, and that cracks him open. Close-ups of swirls of Viking-white hair, and then every cut back to him shows another part of his mind crumbling. Obsessive lava leaking through the thin crust of normality. The lunge at the bars, and then the high, scratchy scream as Kleist, having proven the psychiatric case, opens the bomb bay, drops him down, down, down to the ice floes, and that last great touch, the little girl crying, Captain Kleist promising her another puppy.

Ok, don't get me wrong. I would watch the shit out of an old German movie that featured Conrad Veidt as a zeppelin pilot, dropping a screaming Peter Lorre into the sea. But this is a different reality entirely. This feels like it took place in a timeline where Fritz Lang didn't almost bankrupt Ufa with his big-budget silent extravaganzas and simply continued to film these outsized adventure stories, rather than pivot to the quiet horror of M. This feels like something so transparently ridiculous that I'm not sure Lorre OR Veidt would have agreed to it. It's funny, sure. But it still disappoints me that even in fiction, authors can't let Lorre's image of "creepy horror man" go, not even for a second.

It doesn't help that Moro subtly encourages his own horror image of being a real-life creep who may or may not lust after young girls, but that's a separate problem.