#it's the self-exploration
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Eddie Diaz + self-exploration 8.06 | 7.06
#911#911 abc#911gifs#911edit#9-1-1#eddie diaz#parallels my beloved#kk.gifs#the colouring is a MESS and for once i don't even care#i had a Vision and i had to make it a reality before the new episode dropped#it's the self-exploration#it's the popped collar#it's the losing himself in the moment#it's the pink shirts#it's all right there
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“what if kids identify with something and it ends up just being a phase-?” good. stop teaching and expecting kids (and adults honestly) to formulate permanent traits and ideas of themselves. everything in life is a phase. that doesn’t make it any less legitimate while you experience it. let people explore themselves and know it’s okay if what you think about yourself changes.
#there is no permanent state of self#expecting that makes people fearful to explore options for fear of being wrong#trans#lgbtq#ftm#transgender#trans man#transmasc#transgender man#trans pride#donnieisaprettyboy#ftm problems
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"astarion is a traumatized abuse victim who deserves kindness" and "astarion is a mean rat bastard man who would rip out your throat for a corn chip if he felt like it" are two statements that can and should coexist
#the duality of vampire#i love our vampling as much as the next person#but fundamentally he's a bitchy self serving little gremlin and that facet of his character should be explored more#it's fun when he cries AND when he's evil okay i can have both#astarion#astarion ancunin#bg3#baldur's gate 3
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#flowers#my love life#self love#love of flowers#daily life#aesthetic#aesthetic photography#fotography#photography#flower photos#discover#explore tumblr#trending photos#kitap alıntısı#kitap kurdu#kitaplar#karşılıksız aşk#aşk şarkısı#wattpad#hayattan alıntı#geceye bir şarkı bırak#aşk#spotify#lovers#love
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I’m ngl I am curious to see how people react when they find out my Lilith is not #feminism girlboss queen and is like. Legitimately evil LOL.
#txt#she’s definitely not 2-dimensional#but I personally find any interpretation of Lilith that only cares about addressing the misogynistic aspect of her character and then#ignores anything that could make her seem too unlikable to be very boring#you know you CAN explore misogynistic text in old folklore AND make her a self obsessed baby murderer who traumatizes families for fun
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#spilled words#spilled thoughts#postsecret#meirl#lover#my collection#experience#things i love#stay weird#self love#mental wellness#autistic experiences#explore#young love#love#love quotes#inspiring quotes#quoteoftheday#life quote#love quote#museum#vinyl records#collectibles#message for the collective#art collectors#original photographers#travel photography#travel
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Steve goes to a gay club for the first time alone. He and Robin, they'd talked about it since moving to Chicago, but every time they made plans he got cold feet.
But on a random, rainy Saturday with Robin back home in Hawkins, he decides fuck it, puts on his sluttiest jeans and polo, and goes to the damn club. He's sick of being nervous--he's going to make out with a guy for the first time tonight.
The club is crowded, loud, sweaty, the energy a pulsing wave. He's overwhelmed immediately, but it's invigorating. He pushes towards the bar, orders a beer, then cozies himself against the nearest wall.
He sips his drink and watches beautiful men dance and kiss and play, and he wants to be part of it, get out there, find his own person to get close to but--
What if none of this is for him? He feels out of place in his clothes, with his hairstyle, an old version of himself that doesn't belong in this world.
There's a swell of sound at the bar, and he glances over, expecting drunks or fighting. Instead, he sees a guy who makes his plans to leave slip straight from his mind.
He's unlike any other person there, even within his group. Long, curly hair, visible tattoos, ripped black jeans, a faded black t-shirt under a big leather jacket. He moves with purpose and grace, obviously uncaring about fitting in.
Steve can't stop watching him, transfixed. He buys another beer, settles back against his wall. He knows it's weird, but can't bring himself to care. Not when it's helping him feel more comfortable in his own skin.
The guy, he's vibrant, the brightest spot, his laughter reaching Steve even over the pounding music.
He's beautiful.
The lights flash, illuminating his face and recognition hits Steve like a fist. It's Eddie Munson, former freak of Hawkins High.
Steve's spine straightens, chest tightening. He can't believe--I mean there were rumors about Eddie in school, but he's here, right now, in Chicago, and Steve--Steve--
He abandons the remains of his beer, rushing out the door.
---
Steve goes back the next night.
He doesn't mean to; didn't have any plans to do it, but the clock turns to 9 and he pulls on the same slutty jeans, this time with an old blue t-shirt a size too small.
It's not because Eddie could be there again, he reassures himself as he shows the bouncer his ID. It's not like he wants to see him or has been thinking about him nonstop. No, it's because tonight's the night he finally makes a move. He needed a test run to find his footing, but now--
Eddie's at the bar. His hair is pulled up, loose tendrils around his face. No jacket this time; the rolled up sleeves of his black t-shirt showing off his wiry muscles, the swirling ink of his tattoos. Something low and hot clenches in Steve's stomach.
There's no way he's going to be preoccupied with Munson tonight. He came here to flirt and dance and maybe get lucky, and he'll ignore Eddie. He will.
Steve orders a beer, sits at the bar this time, his eyes lingering on black ink and pale skin. No matter how hard he tries, he can't seem to tear his eyes away from the ease and assurance Eddie moves with. He's so unafraid to take up space, it's intoxicating.
He loses track of Munson when he orders a second drink, his face no longer immediately visible in the crowd. Disappointment sinks his stomach until a voice to his left says, "You better be planning to buy me a drink, pretty boy."
The voice is low, oddly melodic, and he turns to find Eddie Munson's sparkling brown eyes gazing down at him. He's surprised, hides it, says, "Sure. What are you having?"
Eddie's mouth opens, but his eyes narrow. "Wait--Steve Harrington??"
"Um." His mouth goes dry. "Munson. Hi?"
"I--uh--wouldn't think this was your scene." Eddie shifts back, puts distance between them, and Steve hates it. Hates that Munson thinks the space is necessary, hates that he used to a person that made people feel that way.
"Yeah, well. A lot has changed since high school."
"Is that right? Surely not this much."
"Wouldn't you like to know."
Eddie's eyebrow lifts, but his mouth is a tight line. "Have a cigarette with me."
Steve nods and follows him out a side door into a narrow alley. Eddie pulls out two cigarettes, hands one to Steve. There's something about the cold politeness that sends a fizzle of disappointment down his spine.
"What brings you here?" Eddie asks.
"To Chicago or to this club?"
"Don't be cute."
"Can't help it." He smirks and Eddie rolls his eyes. "I moved to Chicago three months ago with my best friend, Robin. I'm at this club trying to explore my bisexuality."
Eddie's in the middle of taking a drag, splutters on the smoke. "Holy Shit."
He shrugs, knows he's blushing. "What can I say? I've spent the last few years learning about myself."
"And one of the things was that you like dick?"
"Looks like it."
'Well, goddamn, Steve Harrington."
"Impressed?"
Eddie licks his lips, steps closer. "Maybe I am."
"I aim to please." Steve lets himself grin.
"I bet you do," Eddie's voice goes even lower, and heat dances deep in Steve's stomach. "Wanna dance?"
"Thought you'd never ask." Steve blinks up at Eddie from under his eyelashes.
They go inside and join the bodies packed on the dance floor. At first, they keep their distance, dancing and laughing with an arm's length between them, but it's not long before they're drawn together, arms twining, legs pressed together. Their eyes lock, Steve can't look away, wouldn't even if he wanted to. Eddie's hands go to his waist, pull him closer.
"You're gorgeous, Harrington," he says it with his lips pressed to Steve's ear, goosebumps spreading across his skin.
"Yeah?"
"Can I tell you a secret?"
"Of course."
Eddie's mouth presses closer. "I used to have the biggest crush on you in high school."
"Fuck, Eddie," he says. "That's so--"
"Weird?"
"Fucking hot, dude."
"Can I tell you another secret?" Eddie's voice is all rumble.
"Course,"
"I can't stop thinking about kissing you."
"You could do something about it."
Eddie smiles, eyes going darker, almost predatory. He leans in, their breath mingling, Steve's hitching.
"You sure you want me to?" Eddie asks, mouth barely brushing Steve's.
"Please," and it comes out like he's been punched.
He thinks the kiss will be hard, hot, but Eddie's hand is gentle as it cups the back of his head, slowly pulls him in. It's a soft meeting of mouths, almost tender. His head is swimming, blood thrumming low and hot and sweet. He parts his lips and then all he can feel, taste, sense is Eddie.
It cracks something inside him, and his fingers dig into the fabric of Eddie's shirt, eagerly licking into his mouth. It must crack something in Eddie too, because he's hauling Steve impossibly closer until his legs have to wrap around Eddie's waist, or they're falling.
They break apart with a breathless laugh, both red cheeked and bright eyed. They don't move apart, instead they dance and make out until the music stops and the lights come up.
Eddie twines their fingers together as they walk to the exit, Steve sweaty and elated and a little head over heels.
Out on the sidewalk, basking in the cool air, Eddie stops him. "Can I--uh, take you for a drink? Or back to my place? I don't--not to assume, but I--"
"Both. Anywhere," Steve laughs. "I don't want this night to end."
Eddie's smile is brilliant, heart stopping. "Your wish is my command."
#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#steve x eddie#ficlet#fluff#smidge of angst#gay club#flirting#former high school classmates#reconnection#love at first sight#second sight?#bisexual steve harrington#sexuality exploration#self exploration#dom/sub undertones#inexperienced steve harrington#experienced eddie munson#they move in together after like a month#they're obsessed
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FNAF movie Mike meets Jeremy Fitzgerald
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#jeremy fitzgerald#michael afton#mike schmidt#fnaf#fnaf 2#fnaf fanart#five nights at freddy's#FINALLY more of Jeremy!!#sorry it’s taken so long for more of this boy but he returns 🩵#Mike doing a self burn here too#HE knows very well he doesn’t have friends so how Michael got one#(Mike has one friend too and that’s Jeremiah)#Least Mike made Jeremy laugh-#Jeremy just got here and his homie already being out on blast#I love the idea of Jeremy and Michael actually being friends#like Michael is awful anti social monster and he’s buddies with the most chipper guy ever#it’s good bit I think it’ll be fun to explore that more!#I gotta draw Jeremy more after this#there’s sm to draw with him 💜💜#I hope yall like him and his design!!
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PMD fans you already know what time it is
#pokemon#pkmn#art#doodle#pokemon mystery dungeon#pmd#(oc) brooke#(oc) axdrew#YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS#listen at this point even if they announce a new pmd game it's gonna be bittersweet#the most likely thing is an explorers remake and like. we don't need that lol#truthfully this fandom is kind of self-sustaining? and that's fire tbh#it would be really nice getting some proper new official content#but even assuming they take that route (a lot of risks) how good would it even be#idk man this september is gonna mark PSMD's 10th anniversary#and also marks a full DECADE since we've gotten a “new” release#i'm just rambling haha#tag rambles
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Elodie I don't know you and I may have wildly misjudged this ask but from one beleaguered parent to another, I have to know your thoughts on the Octonauts. I am losing my mind during a sick child TV day. Why do none of them know anything about marine life. Does Captain Barnacles imply the existence of the navy. Why are all creatures sentient but only some wear clothes. ARE FISH BISCUITS MADE OF FISH AND IF NOT WHY DO CARNIVORES EAT THEM. Anyway if your kids are not Octonauts kids feel free to disregard. I feel slightly better for sending this ask. Time for Episode 3 Billion of the weekend I guess.
#swan comics#octonauts#EXPLORE - RESCUE - PROTECT.#while they arguably may include skills in the pirate skillset none of those require pirate intervention#I do know - I KNOW - that 'pirate' is a sort of jolly-natured qualifier for children and Kwazii treats it as a genetic/cultural thing#his self-identification as a proud generational “pirate” is like a kind of cultural framework.#he has two functional eyes. he just wears an eyepatch. pirate culture has a strong aesthetic component and an accent.#a lot of his character traits and things like his superstition are attributed to his pirate upbringing and rituals of pirate culture.#like. I do KNOW this.#but it's a MARINE BIOLOGY RESEARCH VESSEL ------
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oh you just KNOW he’s the worst kind of sorry sir 🤣🤣🤣🤣
#self soothing with Ned drawings hiiiii 2022#the terror amc#the terror#polar explorers#fanart#larkart#edward little#ned little#the terror fanart
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#my post#love#self care#books#poetry#writing#motivation#my photos#self love#quotes#life quotes#quoteoftheday#people#ink spilled#viral#explore#writeblr#writers on tumblr
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It's thinking about Darcy desperately yearning running into Elizabeth at Pemberley hours.
Like, you fell in love with this woman, but rationally (pridefully) you though it wasn't something you should pursue. But you can't forget her, and then she's at Rosings... and the more you see her - with her wit, her eyes, the liveliness of her mind - the more she undoes every expectation of who you should marry that you'd ever had. You prolong your trip to see more of her, you start imagining what it will be like married to her and unwisely after only seeing her again for a week begin asking how she'd feel living far away from Longbourn, and even hint things like she'd be staying at Rosings next time she visits Kent.
It's too much. You're feeling too much.
She's due to visit for tea the night before you take leave, and an evening gives far more opportunity for privacy and conversation than sitting in Mrs Collins' drawing room for half an hour the next day.
But she doesn't come, she's feeling ill, and you won't see her. If you don't make an effort, you might never see her again. It's not like Bingley will be going back to Netherfield anytime soon, after all.
You bail on the evening and go check if she's ok.
It's late, but you have to see her.
She's not super friendly when answering your questions about whether she's feeling better, yet that's to be expected when someone has a headache. But she's there, sitting with you quietly, and then you're so agitated that you begin pacing.
It's inescapable. You love her too much.
You'll marry her, and deal with all the impropriety of her family's connections and behaviour. She's worth it.
Because of course she'll say yes. You've been so open that she must be expecting your addresses. It doesn't occur to you that you're wrong to assume she's wishing for it.
Then she rejects you.
And she doesn't only reject you: she shatters your entire perception of self. Not immediately - oh, she creates a large crack, but it takes some time for you to do justice to her words. But they linger, inescapably.
"Had you behaved in a more gentlemanlike manner."
You're bitter, and angry, and hurt, and offended, and the sense of doubt isn't going away. But there is one thing you can do, that you have to do.
You write her a letter to explain yourself against the accusations she levied your way - some unjust, but others will eventually gnaw at you until you're forced to face them and stare directly at all the faults you didn't know you had.
You know it won't make her accept you.
The turn of her countenance you'll never forget, as she said that you could not have addressed her in any possible way that would induce her to accept you.
But you need to write the letter: to explain, to warn, and maybe - just maybe - make her think a little better of you.
If she even gives credit to anything you say.
She thinks so little of you she might dismiss your arguments and only hate you more for what you said of her family.
God, you basically insulted her family again in the letter. With an apology, yes, and as an explanation, but you knew at the time that those comments and what you divulged of Wickham would give her pain. But it's necessary. You still believe that, even as time goes on and you begin to wonder if all it achieved was making her hate you more.
The last time you saw her was as you handed her that letter.
She hadn't spoken.
You weren't yet master of your emotions enough to see her and be friendly, the best you could do was try be composed.
If only you'd been truly as calm and composed as you thought you were when you wrote that letter. You can see now that you wrote in a dreadful bitterness of spirit. There were some expressions you used, the opening of it, which alone would be enough to justify her hate. Though, despite your emotions, you never doubted for a moment in her goodness - never doubted that she won't spread around what you divulged of your sister.
She hates you, but all the reasons you love her are still there.
That's something that doesn't change as you slowly unravel the flaws her reproofs revealed to you and you try to become the person you always thought you were. So many behaviours, and the emotions that governed them, were not what they ought to be. Your principles were always good but you followed them in pride and conceit.
You were blind until she cut you to the quick. Opened your eyes to yourself and taught you such a hard lesson - but it was for the best. She properly humbled you and taught you how insufficient all your pretensions were to please a woman worthy of being pleased. Even if you never see her again you will be worthy of the title gentleman.
You will work to become the person you want to be.
Her rejection doesn't hurt so much as the knowledge that she was right and you failed yourself and so many others. Any anger or blame you felt for her words when refusing your hand are long since passed. If she had been able to overlook those flaws she wouldn't have been the woman you love.
The more you reflect and seek to rectify your behaviour the clearer it all becomes. In trying to understand yourself you realise that so many of these flaws have existed almost your whole life. And yet, despite how obvious it now seems, you had no idea.
Though your parents were good themselves they spoilt you - first as an only child, then as an only son - and you grew selfish and overbearing, caring only for your small family circle. Thinking meanly of the rest of the world, wanting to think meanly of their sense and worth compared to your own.
You owe the world so much better.
Your position, far from giving you leave to treat others as inconsequential, means you have a duty to think of others and ensure they are not wronged. Yes, you've done that broadly - especially on your estate, and always with servants and the poor - but what of in smaller ways, to those closer to your own rank? Have you directly treated them with civility and respect?
You know the answer now, but you're doing your best to fix it.
For almost four months, you ruminate on her words and turn yourself into a gentleman you can respect. Someone worthy of the respect you've so rarely had to actually earn. Someone who might've been worthy of her respect from the beginning.
You've never stopped loving her.
Almost four months, and you're not sure if you'll ever see her again.
You certainly weren't expecting to leave the stables after arriving at Pemberley and find her standing in front of your house.
Your eyes meet.
You freeze in place.
Four months of distance and then twenty yards away from each other.
She's blushing (so are you).
Your brain is too surprised to work.
She's here.
She's here and you're just standing there.
You have to go to her. Even if you didn't still love her, it's the polite and friendly thing to. (But you do still love her, and so her presence is a physical weight in your chest that you could scarce resist).
She had turned away briefly, but turns back when you approach.
You hardly know what you say, she hardly raises her eyes to meet yours, but you hear her voice, and she doesn't sound annoyed when she answers that her family is well.
Honestly, despite how discomposed you are by seeing her without time to prepare, your instinct is to stay by her. Even if it means speaking like a fool. You're pretty sure you ask her when she started travelling and how long she's been in Derbyshire at least thrice. But you start to recollect yourself, breathing a little more evenly, and run out of things to say. Remembering that she's here with friends and you've just come from the road, you take your leave.
Your thoughts stay with her though.
She was still just as lovely as ever. More civil to you than you have any claim to.
Your housekeeper says a gentleman and two ladies were taking a tour of the house, and have now gone with the gardener to see the accustomed part of the park. You know the place.
As your valet helps you change your thoughts solidify: you can meet them, and, through every civility in your power, show her that you aren't resentful of the past.
She's so close, and you can't lose this chance to perhaps obtain her forgiveness, lessen her ill opinion, by showing that her reproofs have been attended to.
And, maybe, you're just desperate for any excuse to see her.
By now, you've been in love with her for more than eight months, despite trying, really trying, to forget her both when you left Hertfordshire and Kent. It's pointless, either you'll recover in time or you'll spend the rest of your life in love with her. At this point you don't even want to fight it. Despite the pain of her not feeling the same way, she did you the greatest good anyone could, by showing you who you really were. You improved yourself because you should, without any expectation of seeing her again, but one thing that you can't alter about yourself is your love for her.
Right now, what matters is being near her and showing her you can be a real gentleman.
So, you follow her and her companions to the stream.
She speaks first this time. Putting herself forward to be friendly and polite. Proof, surely, that she doesn't hate you so much anymore? She's almost her usual smiling self, though she goes red and silent while admiring Pemberley's beauty.
You can understand why - you had determined to not ask whether she liked your home in case it sounded like you were wondering whether she regretted rejecting you and thus Pemberley. You know she didn't mean anything by her praise (and she'd known you were rich when she turned you down) but you understand her sudden embarrassment.
Although... when did she start caring that you might misunderstand her and think badly of her? She didn't care the last time you met.
But that's not important now. It's for you to ease the conversation and prove yourself. So you change the subject, and ask her to do the honour of introducing you to her friends.
Her surprise is obvious, and fair. Seeking the acquaintance of strangers, even respectable-looking ones, just wasn't something you used to do regardless of what the well-bred and civil action was.
And what does it say about you - with all your newfound respect and civility - that you're still surprised when the fashionable couple she's with turn out to be the very aunt and uncle you'd previously declared would be a disgraceful connection. You recognised you were wrong to be so dismissive, so rude, but the core assumption that the tradesman brother of Mrs Bennet and his wife must be noticeably vulgar had clearly remained. Yet here they were, everything elegant and well-bred.
How right Elizabeth had been about you.
But now you can show her that was the past, and your manners are improved and prejudices lessened.
You walk back with them, talking to the uncle, who has intelligence, taste, and sense. You like him a surprising amount. He points out trout in the water, and you're glad to invite him to fish here while they stay in the area. You have all the supplies he might need, and know the best spots. As you speak with him your attention is only half distracted by who walks behind you at a short distance.
Hopefully her uncle's happiness makes her happy also.
You have the chance to see, when the walking arrangements change and then she's the one walking beside you.
Honestly, you're not immediately sure what to say, but again, she speaks first.
Yes, she almost certainly doesn't hate you anymore.
Her explanation that she'd been assured of your absence before visiting sounds more like she doesn't want you to think her rude, than expressing disappointment that you are here.
Yes, whatever her past insults, she definitely cares that you don't think badly of her...
As though you ever could.
In mentioning why you returned a day early you mention who you're with, and too late saying Bingley's name reminds you that the last time you two spoke of him was when she (rightfully) blamed you for separating Bingley and her sister.
That silences you for a moment - but she doesn't respond with anger.
Composing yourself, you ask if your sister might be introduced to her. You've spoken of Elizabeth so highly to Georgiana, and so often, that your sister would love to meet her. You don't need to ask - your sister is the social superior, her wishing for the acquaintance is strictly enough for the introduction to be made - but you want to. You mean it, when you ask Elizabeth whether you're asking too much by facilitating the introduction. You want her to have the chance to say no.
But she says yes.
(Even sounding pleased about it, though surprised.)
Which is also a yes to seeing you again during her stay at Lambton. Renewing your acquaintance, despite everything.
The happiness, however irrational, this creates cannot be quelled.
You love her too dearly to not appreciate every fragile overture and sign that she must no longer think you so bad. The letter - your own improved civility - one or both has done away with her dislike.
Replaced it with... well, anything other than dislike is a place to begin.
This time the silence stretches as you walk; she, perhaps, just as lost in thought as yourself.
You could get used to walking around Pemberley with her.
A dangerous thought.
You scarce know what to say as you wait by the carriage for her aunt and uncle to catch up, after she declared herself not tired when you asked if she wanted to come into the house. But, again, she makes the effort to talk to you. You've never spoken of Matlock or Dovedale so persistently, but you want to keep talking to her - hearing her voice - receiving her smiles - for every moment that you can steal.
Four months apart and then the first day seeing her again your heart loves her more than ever before.
And she no longer hates you.
You would have them all come inside, take refreshment, stay, please stay a little longer, but they felt it was time to return to the inn. They're leaving, but you've already organised to bring your sister to see her the day after tomorrow, so it's only a short parting.
Not another four months.
You hand her aunt up into the carriage - and then Elizabeth.
Who is dearest and loveliest to you still, though you might never be able to say those words to her.
You're so aware of feeling her hand in yours, though gloved; the weight and warmth of it. The brief tightening of her fingers on yours as she takes the step up, leaving you bereft when she lets go.
You don't watch them drive away, though you feel her absence palpably as you slowly walk back to the house.
But it's only two days - two days before you'll see her again.
And they're staying for a little while.
All of it is more chances to show her the person you are now. Both the good qualities you never properly revealed before, and the newer ones deliberately acquired to remedy the errors she revealed. Show her you're a man she might admire.
Perhaps a man she might one day be able to love.
It's almost embarrassing, to admit how quickly that wish introduced itself after seeing Elizabeth again.
It probably took under half an hour after you saw her again.
#you ever get consumed with the *yearning* and just need to ramble about it? Because I do.#exploring yearning is a passion of mine as anyone who's read my fanfic will know lol#and ah I've done it again I've written a lot when I wanted to write something brief#my curse#it's the amount of pining from the unrequited love we can read into Darcy's pov that's to blame#p.s. So many of Darcy's lines of his self reflections (we get so little!) live rent free in my head can you tell#(also remembered after posting this that he didn't plan with Liz to bring Georgiana in two days she assumed with Mrs Gardiner whoops)#pride and prejudice#jane austen#elizabeth bennet#fitzwilliam darcy#mr darcy#elizabeth x darcy#darcy x elizabeth#fanfiction#austen opinions#mine
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egbert egbert egbert !
#hs#homestuck#art#hamsterfather#j egbert#art about figuring it out <3#self exploration and change and whatver. idk i love j egbert#june egbert#john egbert
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꒰ FLESH OF MY FLESH; BLOOD OF MY BLOOD ꒱ KAMO CHOSO X READER — ft. itadori yuuji
warnings ⟢ dead dove: do not eat. minors do not interact—i will block you! incest. yandere elements. implied drugging. noncon. slight forced feminization (choso uses “sister” and she/her pronouns to refer to reader, but reader is nb). religious imagery. reader is yuuji’s twin, but no physical descriptors are used. reader has a vagina.
word count ⟢ 963
notes ⟢ this is part of @ficsforgaza’s kinktober event! my prompt was choso + incest. i have an au with big brother choso and twins yuuji and reader, so this was the perfect opportunity to explore their dynamic. a huge thank you to my dearest lexi—@drleggman—for requesting this (and for allowing me to go full degenerate) <3
“Yuu…” “Yuu…ji…” “Yuuji…”
Your twin’s name ambles from your petal-soft lips, voice laden with slumber, muted snores drifting through the gaps. The bedroom you share is swathed in midnight’s gloom; moonbeams peek through the cheap apartment blinds, luminous stripes cutting across the men huddled above your nude figure.
“Our baby sister seems to be having sweet dreams,” Choso states, mouth reluctantly detaching from your nipple, a silvery thread of spider silk connecting his lips to your tender flesh. “She’s naughty, though—calling out to you when I’m the one pleasuring her.”
Choso removes two thick digits from your weeping hole, examining the twitch of your jaw as he strums your clit with calloused fingertips. He experimentally increases the speed and pressure of his caresses, humming when you let out a whimper. As your breath grows heavier and your eyes flicker and dance beneath your lids, he pauses to smear your slick across your pubic hair, and scrapes his teeth up your neck to nip at your pulse point.
Yuuji lies beside you, honeyed gaze soaking in the tranquil curves of your dreamy expression. He strokes the hair at your temple with the care of a collector admiring his choicest possession; he can’t help but drag his nose across your cheek, blotting a kiss at the hollow behind your earlobe.
The reverence Yuuji treats you with starkly contrasts the way his muscular body presses against your softness, his bare cock dribbling pre onto the plush of your thigh. It’s something of a punishment that Choso doled out—not being able to indulge in you fully—upset with your twin for being secretive and possessive of you. But as far as Yuuji is concerned, to be anywhere in the halo of your presence is a heavenly gift. To merely witness your divinity, to press his lowly, sweaty skin flush to yours—it’s more than he deserves.
“Don’t be too rough with them,” Yuuji fusses when Choso abruptly presses your knees to your chest, leveling his face with your spread cunt. “W-wait—I wanna taste, too.”
After Yuuji shuffles over to join Choso, two sets of broad shoulders hunch over to marvel at your beauty. Yuuji fully expects to be chewed out again—perhaps even shoved off the bed or thrown out of the room; he swallows his pride and formulates a half-hearted apology, prepared to grovel for a chance to revel in you.
Instead, he grunts in surprise when he’s pulled into a kiss.
Chapped, chilly lips slip against his own, urging Yuuji’s mouth open, wet muscles intertwining. A shiver skitters across his limbs when he discovers the little silver ball that pierces Choso’s tongue—now bumping along the expanse of his palate, tracing the velvet of his gums. It’s a sloppy exchange of spit and teeth and tongue, too frenzied to be mistaken as purely passionate. Choso reaches over to swipe a thumb across Yuuji’s fat, leaking cock head. Yuuji keens into his brother’s mouth before ripping himself away, swollen lips parted, blooming rose from the tips of his ears down to his heaving chest.
“Let’s taste her together,” Choso rasps.
Not waiting for a reply, he pecks the fat of your hip before dipping down to lap at the arousal leaking from your hole; Yuuji watches heatedly, letting saliva pool on his tongue and drip onto your clit. He then cleans his mess with noisy sucks, occasionally tugging at your folds. Too preoccupied with coaxing your unconscious body to orgasm, the brothers don’t realize how you begin to stir, fingers and toes flexing and relaxing. They savor your eventual high, admiring your glistening release.
“I’ll have her first,” Choso announces thickly, Adam’s Apple bobbing as he swallows. He’s practically vibrating—pale skin dewy with desire—having fantasized about this exact scenario more times than he can count. “You should prop her up.”
Yuuji leans against the headboard and pulls you between his strong legs, your head resting on his chest. Choso angles your hips and pumps his throbbing length a few times before nudging your entrance. Your breathing shallows and you yawn; Yuuji’s heart catches in his throat.
“Fuck—how much did you give them? Clearly not enough,” he hisses, arms tightening around your waist. “I think they’re about to wake up.”
For the first time all evening, Choso smiles at Yuuji. It’s an unsettling sight: his knife-sharp inscisors gleam in the dusk, irises black as bruised plums. “Relax,” he soothes. “She’s going to enjoy this, too. It will become a treasured memory for us all.”
Before Yuuji can respond, your eyelids flutter open. “Ch-Choso…Yuuji…” you murmur, words slow and slurred as molasses, “what are you—”
The air is promptly punched from your lungs, a strangled yelp interrupting your train of thought as Choso enters you in a single thrust—cock so deep you swear you can taste it. One of Yuuji’s rough palms rests on your belly and meanly presses down with the movement; you throw your head back and warble a moan.
“Call me ‘onii-chan,’” Choso grits out, refusing to succumb to the squeeze of your cunt so soon.
“W-what?” you sniffle. Your brain is foggy from whatever concoction they gave you, incapable of piecing together your predicament.
He grasps your chin firmly, forcing your glazed stare to focus on him. “Onii-chan,” he repeats with a harsh snap of his hips.
You squirm, trying to turn to Yuuji for help, unaware of the tears carving hot rivulets down your cheeks. But Choso won’t let you go. His heavy frame eclipses yours, trapping you in place. “We’re family,” he huffs, fucking you steadily, umber strands falling to curtain his face.
“Everything we do, we do together. You have both been—nnghhh—selfish. It’s time to make it up to onii-chan.”
#please heed the warnings—they are there for a reason!#otherwise i hope everyone enjoys :’-)#feeling a lil self-conscious but fuck it we ball#choso is delusional which i hope comes across in this fic#yuuji is too to an extent but—well. anyway it’s more reciprocal btwn him and reader#i want to return some day and further explore their insane three way psychosexual dynamic But#i wanted to keep it smutty for kinktober#bc that’s what the kinktober gods demand#anyway if anyone has any questions or wants me to talk about this au further i am always ready and willing#i think about them A Lot#dead dove do not eat#— from the desk of#— kamo choso#— itadori yuuji#— jujutsu kaisen#cw dead dove#cw incest#cw yandere#cw drugging#cw noncon#cw forced feminization#choso x reader#yuuji x reader
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