#its fucking 9:00 pm

[the-paladin-gay]

bro the clock hits 9:00 pm and i'm hit by a wave of exhaustion from fucking nowhere

[r3ynah]

I just like the idea of Red hood having a medic, that always finds him whenever and wherever.

Like my boy danny, can and will go to different measures, so he can just find the boss of the crime alley alive and well.

Getting hurt? No you aren't, patched him up and forcefully tucked him into bed with a kiss, Getting depressed? No you aren't, Wrapped him in a blanket and just let him read his novels all day and feeding him, Getting kidnap? No you aren't, Cue the corrupted video of Danny breaking in the kidnapper's lair and just freeing Red hood, No blood was shed that night, well not from Red hood that is.

Danny was something else Red hood will tell you if you ever bring up his Medic into a conversation, he would stare at the man with heart eyes as he accompanied him to do random check ups on people under Red hood's care in his civilian persona. Danny may seem weak and brittle but he can give a punch if he really wanted to, He was mysterious but at the same time so open.

Danny was prideful as he wore the medal of being the only one that knows Red hood's real apartment, and the only one that could break in and enter without getting his presence known, just to make sure the crime lord was sleeping and eating properly.

Red hood practically made a joke out of this and would always tell everyone that his medic will be mad, if he isn't in bed by curfew, and he needed to be back at his house by 10:00 sharp or he'll get dragged and thrown, who knew the all so scary crime lord had a bedtime, criminals and civilians often leave him be when the clock strikes 9:50 pm afraid of enraging the meta medic.

__

"I am telling you B, I can't do that right now, its almost my curfew." Red hood sighed in frustration, he was currently standing in the middle of the bat cave, ready to run if batman tried to talk again.

"This is an important, case Hood, and it requires your participation" Batman stood still, face devoid of any emotions " Afterall it has something to do, with crime alley, there has been a meta spotted, and its creating havoc all around the place."

Jason, blinked, blinked twice, then thrice

"Is that it?"

"Jason, can't you see that this person's dangerous, they had already committed several crimes of arson, assault, and destruction of property, this person is abusing it's powers."

"No im not." An offended voice, called out from the side. all head turned towards the source of the voice, only to be greeted by 6'1 tall boy, who had black hair and blue eyes, and looked just round in his younger adult years. "In my defense they deserved it, won't give me a discount when i literally had a coupon." he rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"Who are you?" Batman asked, his guard up "And how did you get in here?"

"Red hood's medic and the meta you've labeling as dangerous, nice to meet you, and it wasn't that hard to spot this lair if you have x-ray vision" Danny greeted happily offering a handshake, which the dark knight didn't take, Danny retreated his hand in awkward silence.

"That was so sad" Jason cackled, as he pointed at Danny who gave him the middle finger.

"Shut, Its 10:30 pm, your bedtime was like 15 minutes ago, you don't get to talk until you're taller than me." Danny pointed at him.

"Fucking funny, im laughing" Sarcasm was laced in Jason's tone as he glared at Danny, before giving a sigh. "10:30 already shit, time does fly fast, when you're fighting a man in a furry costume" Red hood stated, as he walked towards Danny who only rolled his eyes.

"Bye B, i hope to not see you anytime this week or the next week." He nonchalantly waved bye to the older male, while walking towards his medic.

he turned his head to meet Danny's gaze, then smacked his arm making the man stumble. "Come on, now boss man do your thing"

Danny gave him, a glare before shoving him playfully, he then turned to look at empty air and practically ripped out a dimensional portal out of it, and pushed Jason in it who tripped.

"Bye Mr.Batman, it was nice meeting you" Danny bid farewell as he closed the portal on the Man who looked like he can use a break.

[boothillzvhs]

·˚ [featuring] !! ' jing yuan x ftm reader !

cw — :: !! bottom!ftm!reader. top!Jing yuan omegaverse, alpha!Jing yuan, and omega!ftm reader, knotting, Words like cunt, pussy, clit, etc used for reader !! ::

_

not proofread so, i'm sorry for any spelling mistakes !!

"(nammmeeee)" Jing yuan pouted, "hm??" you replied, your eyes still glued to the book you were reading, as Jing yuan moved towards you, sitting on the floor next to you, "I'm sooooooo bored" he groaned, "you've been reading that book all day" he tugged on the book, yanking it out your hands "pay attention to me..please??", you looked at him.

"ok, ok, I'm sorry" you said, finally getting up from your seat, "Jin-" you were cut off by him kissing you, "I've been waiting for you all day.." you felt him grind his cock on your stomach.

he picked you up, walking to your shared bedroom "I don't think I'll be able to hold back anymore...you smell so good.."

once you got to the bedroom, he dropped you down on the bed, ripping off your pants "those were my favorite pants...." you frowned, "ill buy you new ones" he then took your boxers off, your cunt glistening with slick.

he moved down, until he was face to face with your pussy, "ah..your already so wet for me, my love..you smell Devine.." he licked your hole, "mmh..hah.." you whimpered as he ate you out.

"this is driving me crazy, you smell too good..." his cock throbbing with Impatience, he then sat up, picked you up, then placed you in-between his legs, pushing his fingering into you "ugh..mghh!!" "you're so tight~" feeling his fingers going in and out of you, shutting your eyes as you felt tears swelling up in them.

"haa..ah..!" you gasped, as he picked up the pace, this tip of his fingers hitting your g-spot, over and over again, your body twitched "s-top..!" you tried to push his hand away, "ngh! uungh..!" you cried out, but, he pulled his fingers out of you, "look" he said before you opened your eyes, "you're so tight my fingers went numb" he grinned.

"its all wet" he laughed, "you're just begging me to fuck you, huh?" Jing yuan's cock twitched, before he lifted you up and lined himself up against your hole, before he even slipped his cock into you, you were already drooling with a dazed expression.

jing yuan thrusted into you, causing you to gasp out, "it hurts..! jing!!" you cried, as he prodded at your cervix, trying to push pass it, "ow! n-no st-op!!! y-you cant!! ugghh...!!"

"you feel so good..." he kissed your cheek, before slamming back into you, his tip hitting your cervix over, and over again.

-

how long has it been?? it feels like you and jing yuan have been going at it for days already, you couldnt even form a coherent thought, you were just a crying mess, at this point , "my love, whats wrong?" he grinned, "its only 5:00...remember~ we still have all day" you couldnt even understand what he was saying, he then switched the position, resting his body weight on top of you.

"you're too he-heavy..!" he was going so deep that your leg was starting to cramp ! You couldnt take it anymore.. "uunghh...!!" your toes curled, and you tried to move away !! but he just pulled you right back !! "ah, ah.. where ya' think you're goin..." he caged you with his arms, "too...! d-eep.... hnngh...!!" you tightened around him.

he flipped you onto your back, a bulge noticeable in your tummy, he grabbed your hand and pressed it down on the bulge, causing you to tighten around he so hard that he couldn't even move.. "hey..." he cooed "its okay, calm down.." he spoke, but you weren't listening, "hey, hey, i said relax..." he kissed you, causing you to calm down, "atta' boy" he contined to ram himself into you.

-

you guys have been going at it all day now... it was 12:00 am when you first started, and now its 9:00 pm.. and you're barely conscious !!

"uuughh.....!" this felt like you 30th time cumming... ! "please....n-nomore..." you slurred on your words, and you tried to crawl away, but he just dragged you back onto him, "you keep saying that...but your body says otherwise.." he slammed into you.

"i...can't.....hah...mgh..!!" He slapped your ass, "shh...i know you want it...stop trying to..get away..." he grinded into you, as you scratched at his back, "Do you feel me?.. you feel my tip hitting your insides.. feels so good right?" You couldn't even answer if you wanted too, opening your mouth only led to more choked out cries spilling out of your mouth.

"fuck...i'm close again.." he whimpered, he pushes his hips forward, hitting that bundle of nerves that makes you arch your back, making you see stars.

"nnngh...." he moaned, as he knotted you, it hurt, but fuck it felt good, he kissed your neck, you started to feel yourself fall asleep, "lets just stay like this..." he said, your eyelids started to get heavier.

-

-

(you beat jing yuans ass for getting you pregnant)

[delicateperspective]

The Observer (Observed)

Either someone is deep in the Lore or LT3 era has begun.

Edit: I guess I am going to turn this post into a masterpost of sorts. I go more into detail about what I think this might be here (hint: not Louis).

But for now just please play it safe:

Don’t give them personal information.

Don’t engage in DMs with them.

Keep a healthy skepticism.

TIMELINE:

Twitter user @FromTheObserver was created on March 9th 2025.

At the time it first tweeted, it's pfp was a lavender eye with the roman numberals for 369.

The bio was "Through the looking glass the observer watches, craving what is just beyond reach."

The cover image was the below (MORE ABOUT THIS ARTWORK AT THE END):

At 2:44 GMT PM its first tweet said:

"The silence is broken. At last I return. Did your faith in the future endure, or did it waiver in my absence? You have waited, perhaps doubted, but the silence was never empty. I am ever present, hidden just beyond the veil. -The Observer

At 4:55 PM The Observer tweeted again:

Have you forgotten me so soon? -The Observer

At 7:44 PM Louis' official account tweeeted:

India I had no idea what to expect but you turned up in full force. From Doncaster to Mumbai. Fucking mind blowing! Thank you!

People started digging. "The Observer" appeared in a list of songs someone found on the French Music Directory SACEM. They first tweeted this list on February 2nd 2025.

I was able to confirm the listing at this link.

It is important to note though, that this lists SONY MUSIC PUBLISHING FRANCE as a sub-publisher and Reservior, Big Life Songs, and Inconnu Editur as publishers.

If we compare this to an LT released song, SILVER TONGUES, that ALSO has Sony listed as the subpublisher. So that doesn't debunk this as a real possible upcoming song.

For those who were saying that since it's sony he wouldn't use it. It appears Sony still has some claws in him. But thats normal in the music industry. A SUB-PUBLISHER doesn't mean he has a Sony deal again. It just means that BMG might not have the reach he needs in France to distribute so they'd rather pay someone else to do it.

I'd also like to point out that I could not verify this or any of the other songs on any American or UK repository like BMI or ACE.

I feel really uncomfortable digging into potential songs of Louis' knowing how badly he doesn't like the tracklist leaked. So this will be my extent of my digging on THIS SUBJECT. (But please feel free to let me know if I got anything wrong or I am missing something)

On March 10th, 2025:

At 1:30 AM The Observer tweeted:

I told you… But did you listen? -The Observer

Louis followed Lolla India sometime before 10:19 AM (based on the HL Daily update)

LTHQ Posted a Tiktok of Louis' show at Eletric Brixton around 4:38 PM (based on the HL Daily update)

Louis posted a reel from his time in India at 7:25 PM

At 10:00 PM (20:00) The Observer posted:

Day 1, 20:00 It’s eerily quiet in the laboratory today. - The Observer

At the time of this tweet, their pfp was the same lavender eye. HOWEVER the 369 roman numerals were gone. Replaced by a 7 (Or maybe a 1?). (For information about Louis' connection to the number 7, see this masterpost by @so-idialed-9.

On March 11th, 2025:

Louis poasted a pictures and video for Soccer Aid at 9:13 AM

Louis followed Soccer Aid on Instagram at 10:53 AM

Louis liked a photo from Soccer Aid of his 28 jersey at 1:44 PM

At 10:00 PM (20:00) The Observer tweeted again:

Day 2, 20:00 Watching from the outside, I can only hope not to become one of them. Perhaps I already have… Is it too late for me? -The Observer

The pfp at this time replaced the 7 with a 2.

On March 12th, 2025:

At 3:12 PM The Obsever Tweeted:

Day 3, 15:12 How can I change what’s already been written? If the past is in permanent ink, can the future ever be a blank page? -The Observer

At this time the pfp updated to a red 3 at the bottom.

Around 4:00 PM CST Louis followed footballer Jermain Defoe on Insta.

Also on this day, a pretty TeRrIbLe article from The Standard dropped, essentially making fun of 28, Louis, and his fans.

We also get a "Rome Unseen" of Harry drinking coffee with a friend and yelling at stalkers trying to take his picture.

On March 13th, 2025:

At 3:12 PM The Observer tweeted:

Day 4, 15:15 Inhale. Exhale. Surrender to what’s beyond control. -The Observer

Pretty telling for a fandom that is crashing out over circumstances outside of anyones control.

The number in the pfp changes to a white 4 in the right hand corner.

Louis doesn't move on this day.

On March 14th, 2025:

At 6:20 AM The Observer tweeted:

The shadow consumes the light. A fleeting moment where past, present, and future collide. Do you see it? Observe. -The Observer

It is important to note that there was a Blood Moon Lunar eclipse that could be seen in London just before dawn. "Stargazers around the world caught the first sign of the lunar event, which began at 05:09 GMT, on a livestream run by LA's Griffith Observatory."

Note the nod to the Observatory, to shadow consuming light.

The pfp stays the white 4 during this tweet.

At 3:18 PM The Observer tweeted:

Day 5, 15:18 Across a million futures, one constant endures. -The Observer

Sound familiar? If you are a Larrie, it should. Mr. "souces say he has trouble with long term relationships" used a similar line in his "You Are Home" promo.

(personal opinion here. take with a grain of salt. this has confirmed for me that Louis has nothing to do with this account. This line was too loud when H tweeted it. It didn't fit any narrative. It wasn't even related to anything on the album. This and the "half way home" debacle were some of the craziest wtf is going on here moments in the You Are Home tweet saga. If this had anything to do with his work or career, Louis would stay far away from using lines this closely tied to Harry.)

The pfp updates to a white 5 (which really looks like an upside down 2)

At 6:00 PM LTHQ posted an IG reel from India.

On March 15th, 2025:

At 10:00 AM The Observer tweeted and immediately deleted:

"A true observer must always be watching. Blink, and you'll miss what matters most. 625 369 825 007 326 028 -The Observer"

369 and 28 are both intrinscly linked to Louis and can be found in the masterpost at the begining. 007 is typically a reference to James Bond which Harry is a favorite to perfom the next James Bond song or play him.

HOWEVER, 625, 825, and 326 could possibly be month/years. As in June 2025, August 2025, and March 2026.

Louis is playing in Soccer Aid on June 15th 2025. (THIS COMES INTO PLAY IN A FEW DAYS. Approximately 40% of the articles about Louis' new stunt involve his involvement in SoccerAid and how he will be on the team with his stunt's very recent ex.)

Should we be looking for August 2025 and March 2026 events as well?

At 9:45 PM The Observer tweeted:

"Day 6, Unkown Too quick to catch, too fleeting to frame in memory. But a true observer is always taking notes. -The Observer"

The pfp updated to a white 6 (at the three oclock position)

On March 16th, 2025:

We got two posts again this day.

At 9:30 AM The Observer tweeted:

Day 7, Unknown How did we end up here? -The Observer

The past two posts have stated that the time is "Unknown" instead of giving us UK time. Have we stopped tracking the time? Have we moved timezones?

The pfp updated to a white 7 at this time as in accordance with the dart board.

At 11:30 PM The Observer tweeted:

Silent? Silenced. Patience. Observe. -The Observer

The first part of this refers to an Oprah interview.

The implication is that someone has not CHOSEN to be silent. They've been made to be silent. However, if we - as the audience - are patient, we can observe what they cannot say.

The pfp updates now. There are no numbers. The pupil is smaller and we can see what appears to be eyelashes in the top right corner.

On March 17th, 2025:

We ge two posts again today. But it's what happens in between that makes it important.

At 8:25 PM The Observer tweets:

Day 8, 20:25 No key to turn, no doors to guide A journey taken, far and wide The walls unfamiliar, the roads unknown A wandering soul, yet not alone -The Observer

The pfp updates back to the original eye with a white 8. Which looks oddly like an infinity sign as the circles are elongated.

First thing to note is that were back on UK time. The second - your intepretation of this tweet will matter to how authentic you think this account is. For me - when I saw "no key to turn, no doors to open". I immediately thought of the tattoo Harry has on his ribs of a birdcage with no door. Next to his drama masks. Above the SMCL (smile more cry later?) tattoos. There isn't a keyhole nor a door to this closet. The "you are home" door is closed, it cannot be opened.

Yet the last line of the 28 word (if you include the signature) poem leaves us hopeful. Despite the distance, the walls, the unknown roads, there’s an undercurrent of connection

Then an hour and a half later at 10:00 PM on the dot The Sun gives us our very first confirmation article of Louis' new stunt. Which I will not speak about in depth on this post. If you want more info, my page is full of it, but I don't want to muddy this post with that.

At 11:55 PM we get another tweet from The Observer:

Fabricated fairytales, observed by all. -The Observer

The pfp does not change.

The "fabricated fairytales" is a line from Louis' She is Beauty, We Are World Class. (my intrepretation of that song is here if you're into that kind of thing.) This is in direct response to the stunt. It is not mincing words or leaving room for interpretation by the timing. It is saying "this is a fake romance and now the world is watching".

On March 18th, 2025:

At 8:35 PM The Observer tweets:

Day 9, 20:35 Nearly Halfway Home. A long journey, but well worth it. -The Observer

The pfp uppdates to a green 9 as per the dart board.

The tweet itself, needs lore to explain.

On April 1st 2022, Louis registered a song Halfway Home. This registration can still be confirmed here.

THEN on April 13th 2022 (two weeks later), the You Are Home account for Harry's House promo tweeted "half way home"

Home, as a concept, has always deeply tied to both Louis and Harry and both of them together. The lore goes deep, but a summary is here.

The capitalization of Halway and Home, directs us to the song name.

But if were intepreting, it's also telling us that there is a plan in place. And though its a long way out, we're nearly halfway there and it will be worth it in the end.

On March 19th, 2025:

At 2:28 PM The Observer tweets:

Day 10, 14:28 A fresh set of eyes, born from little white lies. -The Observer

The pfp changes to a white 10.

Little White Lies is a clear refrence to the One Direction song, Little White Lies.

Bare with my little larrie heart here (but since this account is obviously also a larrie I'd be suprised if you aren't too) but Louis is in the headlines more than hes been in a decade right now. The PR is PRing. There are a whole new set of eyes on him. All because he's selling the story of some "little white lies".

DARTBOARD THEORY AND UPDATES

At this point, to anyone who is paying attention, it's become clear that the numbers represent a dart board.

See the most recent overlay below:

There have been a lot of recent theories revolving around dart boards after Louis posted one while he was in New Orleans for the superbowl and then followed a darts player on Instagram.

As to keep this unbiased and not tied to further speculation, I won't comment on the connection around all of the other people in Louis' life that have posted pictures of dart boards recently (just know that his sisters, Pleasing, Lamby, Niall, and more have posted dart boards - usually with the dart in the triple 20 spot). HOWEVER, darts has always been popular in the UK and its growing in popularity with the younger crowd recently. It's entirely possible that Louis just loves a game of darts at the local, and his sisters' boyfriends do to, and he's watching competive darts lately (especially the first openly gay dart player who is super popular right now), and Pleasing thought somehow darts were Valentine's day imagery.

EXTRA STUFF & FINAL THOUGHTS

As mentioned by this Twitter user, the artwork is pretty well likely AI generated (plus a little Canva/Photoshop for the numbers). It has all the tell-tale signs of generative AI (wonkey lines, misproportions, etc).

Louis has entire teams of graphic designers plus Joshua Halling (who loves this skind of thing) in his back pocket. He wouldn't need AI for any of this.

At this point, The Observer is definitely an interesting mystery, but whether it’s something to pay attention to or just a fan-run account remains to be seen. The AI-generated images are a major red flag—it’s hard to imagine Louis or his team relying on AI when he has actual designers and photographers on hand. Even his more cryptic rollouts in the past have been visually polished and intentional.

That said, the timing of the tweets, the SACEM song listing, and the number symbolism do make it intriguing enough to keep an eye on. If this is a fan project, they’re clearly deep in the lore and know how to grab attention.

Key Takeaways:

Be cautious. If this is a fan messing around, engaging too seriously could be dangerous to your online safety.

Don’t assume it’s official.

It's probably not connected and Louis probably knows nothing about it. If it is somehow connected it will become obvious soon. If it's not (way more likely), it’ll probably fade out like other fandom mysteries before it.

For now? I’m just observing The Observer. 👀

[buttsmasher]

Heard You were Talking Shit

Warnings/Tags: Gay Face Farting, Forced Face Farting, Face Farting, Fart Torture, Multiple uses of the F slur, Asphyxiation by Farts, Passing out from Farts, Eproctophilia, Face humping, Bully cums, Pisses self

Last Monday I opened my locker to find a note waiting for me. It falls to the ground and I quickly squat down to grab the note. When I pick up the note, I see that there’s a lipstick mark and just a phone number. I’m a bit confused, but I text the number anyway.

Hey? Got ur note… Who dis?

Hi cutie xx… Jalissa

Hell yeah, Jalissa is awesome. We went to high school together and I knew we were going to the same college but haven’t run into her yet. I briefly found it weird that she approached me this way but I don’t think too much of it.

We end up talking for like a week before deciding to meet up. She wanted to meet up at the gymnasium at 9:00 PM when it’s close. She has a key to the gym since she works there and I’m game.

However, when I get there, the gymnasium is quiet and the lights are dimmed.

“Hello?” I call out as I walk towards the center of the gym. “Jalissa?” When I reach about half court, all the lights flip on. 

I hear footsteps and turn around expecting Jalissa but end up seeing someone else. “Tristen? Tristen Moretti? What are you doing here?” I look around, maybe he had the same idea as Jalissa.

“Heard you were talking shit.” This moves my attention back to Tristen and I watch as he saunters closer to me. 

“What?” He’s at arms length now. “I don’t know-” He gives me a firm push and I trip slightly backwards but stay on my feet.

“Called the whole wrestling team a bunch of fags.” 

“I mean, the whole sport is a bit faggy.” I comment back. “The whole tight singlet and holding another man and rolling around on the mat. It’s all a bit…faggy.”

He pushes me harder, this time I lose my balance. “The only fag I see around here is you.” 

“Fuck off!” I go to get back up, but Tristen quickly pins me down against the floor. He does some maneuvering and I’m unable to get a good grip on him. The echoes of me and him struggling in the gymnasium is the only sound I can hear until he has my face pinned against his ass.

“I’ll fucking show you faggot.” 

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFBBRRFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTT

A rumbling six second fart hits my face. It’s rotten, smelling of garbage and eggs. I start to struggle again, but he pins my arms down to my sides and grinds his sweatpant clad ass against my face. “Eat my fucking gas, faggot!” I try to move my face away from his ass but I have nowhere to go.

PFFFFFFFFBRBRBFFFF PFFFFFFFFFFF

More vile gas hits my face and I do my best to hold my breath. Even with doing that, it’s not enough, fumes are still invading my nose.

“Bro, get off!” I grab his hips and try to buck him off, but he uses the opportunity to switch his position. He gets me into a scissor lock and uses his heels to push my head into his ass.

PFFFFFFFFFFBBRFFFFFFFFFFFF

“Fuck!” I yell out as my nose is pressed firmly against his ass. I can’t help the dry cough that escapes my lips. The rotten smell has burned its way into my sinuses and I’m starting to worry. 

PBRBRBRBRBBRRRRRR

“Fuck, that was fucking wet.” He comments above me. “How’s that smell faggot?” He releases the pressure of his heels against my head, only to slam my head against his ass over and over again. “Smell it faggot! Smell my fucking ass.”

PFFFFFFFFF PFFFFF PFFFFBBRFFFFFTTT PFFFFF

He slams my face hitting his ass with each fart bomb hitting my face. My eyes are watering and I don’t know if I’m breathing correctly. My nose hurts from the repeated slamming and the toxic fumes that I’m being exposed to.

“Dude,” PFFFFFFFFFFTTTT “Stop, please!” BBBRRRRRRFFFFFFF PFFFFFFFFFTTTTT

“Not happening dude.” PFFFFFFFBBRBRFFFFFFFFTTT “This is what happens when you fuck with the wrestling team.” 

PFFFFFFBBRRFFFFFFFFFTTTTTT

I feel so physically weak at this point, I lose the ability to even try and fight back against Tristen. “Please.” I manage between hacking.

“You want more? Cool, I can indulge faggot.” He loosens his grip on me slightly only to pull his sweatpants down under his ass. He’s wearing a jockstrap that frames his ass. 

“No, no, god no!” I begin to scream as he pulls me back against his ass.

“This is why you don’t talk shit!” He roughly bounces my face in between his ass cheeks as he shakes his. PFFFFFBBRBRBFFFFFFFTTTT His naked ass is much worse than before. His gas burns my nostrils as he keeps ripping noxious fumes. 

“Please...I-I...Can’t breathe.” He doesn’t budge any, instead he pushes harder against my face.

“Good, I wantchu to suffocate in my fat ass.” 

PFFFFFBRBBRFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTT

If he keeps this up, I’m definitely going to start suffocating. I already feel dizzy from all these butt bombs obliterating my nose.

“Gonna make you regret ever talking shit.” He’s already done that. “Eat this faggot!”

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTT

A loud trumpeting 15 second fart hits my face without any filter. Pure garbage gets spewed into my lungs and I start convulsing against him. “Yeah let the gas in. Breathe me faggot!”

PFFFFFFBBRRFFFFFFFTTTT 

He doesn’t let me recover and continues to blast me with his gas. How is anyone even this gassy? “I'm sorry! Please, I’ll do anything!” I try groveling with the little bit of air I have left. 

“Sorry faggot, I can’t hear you. You’ll have to beg louder.”

“Ple-” PBRBRBRBRBRRRRRFFFFFFFFFFFFFF He manages to fart directly into my mouth as I start talking. It’s absolutely rotten and I begin hacking up my lungs again and I feel like I’m going to throw up. “Oh god.” I don’t learn from my past mistake and he manages to fart in my mouth again, this time pushing his ass and pulling my head as hard as possible.

I feel my cheeks inflating as he keeps spewing a 15 second silent but deadly fart into my mouth. I can’t move and my whole body is shaking against him.

“Fuuuuuuck, that feels so good.” Tristen moans above me as he’s grinding his ass against my face. “You still breathing faggot?” Barely, I think to myself as everything starts to spin. I give one last attempt to fight back and push him off me, and to my surprise I get away.

I’m scrambling to get away when I feel him grab me around my waist and pull me back to the ground. “Where you going faggot? I’m not done with you?” I’m seeing triple as he twists me around and forces me back on the ground. 

He pulls his dick out of his jockstrap and starts slapping my face with his cock. I try twisting away but he grabs my head and holds me into place putting his dick under my nose. He starts humping my face and I can feel his dick harden on me.

“I’ll make sure you’ll never forget about this.” He keeps humping me and all I can smell is his natural musk and the lingering scent of his ass on my face. “This is what fucking happens when you mess with me faggot.” 

He forces my mouth open and he starts to spurt cum into my mouth. I go to spit the cum out, but then he sits back down on my face again. “Open up faggot.” 

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFBRBRBFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTT

His cum gets blown right back in my mouth and I’m forced to swallow his cum and nasty fart. It’s the most vile thing I’ve ever tasted and I can’t stop from gagging.

PFFFFFFFFBRBRBFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTT PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTT

PFFBBRFFFFFFFFFFF PFFFFFFFFFFFFF

PFFFFFFFFFFFBBRBFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTT

Barrage after barrage of fart is being forced down my throat and it’s at this moment I fear for my life. I can’t even speak anymore to try and beg for my life and I feel myself spasming. I think I may have pissed myself, I can’t even tell anymore.

All I hear is him laughing, grunting, and his trumpeting farts. I’m going to die like this.

PFFFFFFFFFFFBBBRRFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTT

PFFBBRBRFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTT PFFFFFFBBRFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTT

My legs fall slack against the gym floor.

PFFBBRBFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTT PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF PFFFFFFFFFTTBRBFFFFFFFFF

Next my arms fall.

PFFFFFFFFBRBRBFFFFFFFFFFFF

“Nighty night faggot.”

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTT

I lose consciousness and my head falls against the gym floor.

Minutes or maybe hours later, I awake alone. Lights completely turned off in the gym. 

“Help.” I try to yell, but my voice is hoarse. I struggle to get to my feet and all I can smell and taste is Tristen’s ass. I end up throwing up on the gym floor. 

At least I’m not dead, I think to myself as I make my way to what I assume are the doors. I open a door to find myself in a small bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror and see the state I’m in.

Jeans drenched in piss and my face is splotchy and red. Everything smells bad and I go to the sink to try and scrub my face. As I’m about to go another round of scrubbing, I feel my phone buzz.

Jalissa: Hope you had fun tonight faggot xx

I stare at my phone for a bit before throwing it full force against the wall. 

~~~Fin

Author’s Note: Another old story that I found and decided to revamp. I pretty much rewrote the whole thing at this point and changed it from 2nd person to 1st person. I also think I created a new kink for myself? Forcing cum in someone’s mouth and then immediately farting in their mouth? Hello? Has that been done before? Anyways, hope you enjoyed :3

[xdanisgfx]

ʚɞ IRL — prologue !

9:39 PM.

free.

she was finally free.

daniela averted her gaze from the brown-rimmed clock behind the counter, a sigh of relief releasing from her lips as customers dwindled down to a handful. she followed the last few customers out as they left, immediately flipping the open sign to close.

"i'll go ahead, if you don't mind?" her coworker leah winked, already halfway out the glass doors. the half-blonde barely got the time to argue before the girl disappeared, eliciting a groan from her.

okay, then. she wasn't that free, but almost. she got on with her last bits of labor: checking storage, washing the last of the plates and mugs, wiping down the tables and mopping the floors. stupid leah — this was, what, the third night in a row that she had left her to clean up by herself in favor of a date? she really should bring this up to the manager, even knowing that the other girl would definitely find out and resent her for it.

well, too bad, daniela thought. if you didn't want to get into trouble then you should've worked your ass of for all of your paid hours.

the latina pulled out her hair from its tie, properly closed up the cafe, and finally walked out into the night.

10:57 PM.

the air was crisp, causing daniela to shiver a little in her two layers. it was definitely nearing winter — the trees barely had leaves to sway, all fallen to the ground. the air was no longer its cozy coolness but starting to achingly nip skin.

daniela, now with an armful of drinks, walked alone, shadows coming and passing with the streetlights on her face.

the blonde smiled at her phone, laughing under her breath as the group chat started to fill with messages — mostly because of the random cat video megan had sent.

she stopped at an intersection, right in front of a pedestrian lane. she glanced up, just for a moment, to see that the stoplight for pedestrians had turned green. nobody was around, which was quite strange. it was barely two hours to midnight, surely somebody had thought of taking a night walk? the blonde's gaze returned to the little device on her phone as she started to walk, rolling one shoulder because of the weight from the drinks. lara had sent another video, one of a cat climbing a bookshelf and then falling.

11:00 PM.

the clock ticked on the top left of daniela's phone, each number flipping to form a perfect hour. daniela reached the middle of the road, her attention still focused on her little device. from the corner of her eye she saw a truck approaching, but she paid it no mind. surely vehicles came and went here, that was not out of the ordinary.

it became out of the ordinary when the truck did not stop, nor honk, nor give any warning to daniela.

everything was suddenly sped up. daniela froze, eyes blinded by the vehicle's headlights, unwilling to move or perhaps unable to. she froze like a deer caught in headlights, like a turtle sensing danger. she couldn't do anything. not to scream, not to put out a hand, not to run and avoid injury.

daniela stared, and her eyes closed, bracing for impact and the relief that may immediately or never come. everything was too fast but in a painful slow motion, and bile crept up her throat from the state of immense stress and panic she was put into out of nowhere.

1, 2, fuck-

something hit her, hard. but instead of going down to hit the ground she's yanked upwards, and she could barely open her eyes for a peek due to the icy wind rushing into her eyeballs and the sick feeling in her tightening stomach.

the latina didn't even get the chance to scream in horror before her feet land on a flat, solid surface again. she breathed heavily, in through the nose, out through the mouth, nonstop.

daniela glanced up for a second to discover the identity of her savior, but she only got a split-second look at baggy cargos and an oversized shirt flying away into the night on a silver silk string. there was no face, just a black-webbed red mask.

her jaw dropped in realization, and her gaze did too, only to find her ordered drinks flooding the street, flattened by the truck that would've killed her.

they shared not a word nor a glance, but daniela was already entranced by her masked savior.

masterlist ʚɞ next

taglist! — @meganskiendielsbtc @sunshinez4 @fruityg0rl @wtfisthisnoclueman @winnmin @1luvkarina @peanutbutterlover05 @hiraizyo @kristalag

author's notes! — pls bear with me while i study human humor

[jymwahuwu]

-cw: yandere, non-con, forced overstimulation, harassment, breaking into your home

The actual record of dating General Jing Yuan:

(everything below is automatically recorded by the system set up by the general)

4:00 am Jing Yuan pointed out that you will have a date today.

4:00 am You are woken up by the sound of a message.

4:01 am You frowned, checked the message, and replied "wtf it's bedtime".

4:05 am You fell asleep again.

9:45 am Had breakfast.

10:00 am The electronic door lock automatically opened. Jing Yuan stepped in with a "^_^" expression.

10:01 am You: “Can you stop breaking into my house all the time?”

10:02 am Showed you that message. You are speechless.

11:00 am The romantic date begins!!

11:15 am Visited the Space Animal Sanctuary and watched the adorable and special animals together.

11:20 am the baby bird trembled and walked towards Jing Yuan and pecked the back of his hand with its beak. You think nothing can be cuter than this.

11:45 am you curiously fed the sheep that could predict the future destiny of life. This animal looks like a sheep.

11:46 am A 💭 floated out of the sheep’s head:

Love Trend: Dating the one who likes you will guarantee your eternal relationship.

11:47 am You are shocked. Jing Yuan chuckled and stroked the sheep's head.

12:15 pm Jing Yuan purchased two commemorative keychains. He said the two keychains commemorated the romantic date.

12:16 pm Jing Yuan attached one of the keychains to your backpack/bag, etc.

13:00 pm Had a romantic date in a restaurant with a view of the Milky Way.

14:02 pm Jing Yuan offered to go home and fuck you, using an affectionate tone. Your fingers holding the door were pried open one by one, and you were pulled onto the spaceship.

15:12 pm Back to your apartment!! Jing Yuan kissed you and put you on his arm with one hand, burning off the calories from the meal just now.

15:20 pm You were forced to spread your legs on the sofa, and Jing Yuan buried his head between your legs, or twitched with his fingers, and occasionally said something embarrassing to you. You pushed his hair.

16:05 pm You can’t remember how many times you’ve had an orgasm. Consciousness began to drift away.

17:00 pm Lubricate the cock head with the petals, teasing you on the outside for five minutes before hitting bottom. "Ah…!! ❤"

18:15 pm You start to think about why Jing Yuan’s staying power is so terrible. Is this the secret of long-life species?

19:00 pm You're lying on the bed, panting, tongue sticking out. The fertile semen inside flowed out like a quiet stream.

19:01 pm Jing Yuan resisted the urge to lift your legs and thrust into you again. Look at your lovely face.

19:04 pm Conclusion: Your cuteness transcends the laws of the world.

19:10 pm Kissed you on the cheek, put one of his hands on your breasts, and hugged you to sleep naked.

[abbysreal-wife]

XOXO

————————————————————————

Timeless

Xo tatted all over her body.

She just wanna roll and I don’t mind it. — The Weekend ——————————————————————————————————— Ellie x Fem!Reader

Summary:: Ecstasy.

tags:: Begging(lots of it), lowk kinda angst (blink and you will miss it), orgasm denial, teasing, tears, oral, sub ellie if you squint

A/N:: This fic is inspired by @ellieslittlewh0re my fav😏💗 (i got super duper lazy, cause its graduation week and stuff, so lowk everything at the end is rushed and it’s not proofread) (i’m so sorry i’ll come out with a banger in a couple days)

———————————————————————

It should be illegal to have a sex appeal like this.

Ellie fucking Williams. The woman that has girls jumping off of tables and walls, crying, screaming and even passing out. Hell, she was even signing a girls boobs last week.

This band Ecstasy has had you in a chokehold. And honestly, who could blame you.

But, they’re just now getting the attention they needed. With concerts selling out in minutes, venues and other events and places closing down. All because of this band.

They didn’t use to be like this. You listened to them when they weren’t that famous and gate kept them for a long time.

Until they hosted one small little concert at a bar and now, suddenly, everyone loves them.

It was annoying honestly, girls were practically at each others throats trying to get tickets. But since you knew Ellie personally, it would all work out. Right?

No, it didn’t work out.

See, ellie used to be a close friend of yours. Till the fame got to her and she left you for 9 months, alone, no contact.

You swore to yourself to never ever talk to her again.

Lies.

One day while talking to one of your. friends she mentioned the band ‘ecstasy’. Of course you knew the band. Ellie was in it. And you also listened to them.

“I think we should go to their concert— you friend followed up “The guy i asked canceled on me. And I have two tickets.”

You frowned, “No, girl, you already know how i feel about seeing ellie”

“Oh, come on [౨ৎ] you know you want to..” your friend teased. I mean, yeah she wasn’t wrong you did wanna see them perform, but ellie was gonna be there.

The girl that left you for 9 months.

But you caved in anyways “Fine, but only so you will stop asking.”

Her face lit up “Thank you!! I’ll see you there.”

»»

It was 9:00 pm and you were at this venue with a bunch of sweaty men. God, why’d you agree to this?

And ellie’s stupid fucking band still hasn’t showed up, ‘I swear if they canceled i’m gonna leave’

Then the venue up roared into madness. You looked back from your bar stool with a raised eyebrow.

There she was. With a cocky smirk dancing along her lips.

She held the electric guitar perfectly in her hand, almost like it was made to fit her.

She looked amazing, her auburn hair pulled back into a half ponytail, hair strands framing her face perfectly, and freckles sprayed along her skin. She looked like a goddess.

You got up from the bar stool and pushed your self between little gaps through the crowd being pushed to the front somehow. Now she was up close.

Her eyes wandered the venue as she smiled wide waving her hands in the air and winking at randoms.

Then she saw you.

Her smile dropped and she looked surprised. She hadn’t seen you in forever.

She tried to shake it off thinking you were a figure of her imagination cause you would always be on her mind. But this this time. This time you looked real.

She really tried to forget you were there, but her eyes were always somehow stuck on you, your hips swaying to the beat, the neon lights of green pink and blue coloring your face, your smile.

She missed you. Badly.

..

After the concert ended you had went back the bar to go drink, and your friend had wandered off into a crowd with some guy, which wasn’t good cause she was your ride here.

“Yeah guys, i’ll meet you tomorrow i just have to go talk to someone” you heard a muffled voice behind you.

Then a finger tapped your shoulder. you turned around sharply and smiled not expecting ellie.

But of course, she was there. “[౨ৎ] please listen to me, i have a lot to s-“

You dropped ur smile and hopped off the bar stool. Cutting her off “No, no, ellie i’m even gonna say anything to you.” you stormed away.

Ellie sped walked towards you grabbing ur arm, “Please listen to me, we need to talk” she pleaded again.

You stopped and turned towards her tears almost burning your eyes. You didn’t wanna cry, not now and not in front of her.

It was raining out side and you and ellie were standing right in the middle of it.

“Can we talk in the car please? just for a moment” ellie cried out.

You looked at her, her face was now covered in black eyeliner smudging and smearing across her face.

She looked at you desperately “Please?”

You looked at her firmly nodding your head slightly. she let out a sigh “Thank you, thank you so much.”

“Car is over here” she pointed walking past you.

You walked faster opening the car door and slamming it once inside. Ellie was sitting in the drivers seat looking at you.

You looked out the window.

“Can i explain what happened, and why we stopped talking, please?” she asked “Sure, go right ahead” you said sarcastically.

“I..” she paused “I just wanna say i’m sorry— she paused again “Heard it a million times” you muttered tears threatening to fill your eyes.

“I know, I know.. Its just, i left because..”

“Cause the fame got to you? And now all of a sudden you think it’s okay to just leave me?” you hissed. “You were my best friend ellie.” you said with a shaky breath.

She shyed away, avoiding eye contact. “I’m really sorry [౨ৎ] i just didn’t know what to do.” she replied.

You looked at her “What?” Her face was pink. “I really really liked you, and i was afraid of that. I was afraid so i distanced myself away from you.— she paused. “i’m not really good at communicating, im sorry.” her face was flushed. that felt good to get off her chest.

Your eyes were blurry with tears filling them up. You believed her, she would never lie. “I-it’s okay” you stuttered. She also looked at you with blurry eyes.

You cupped her face whipping the one tear and smudged eyeliner off her face. You look at her lips for a little while too.

She leaned in and smashed her lips against yours moaning and whimpering then she pulled away her face was surprised like she didn’t know what she did.

“I’m sorry, that was out of pocket i shouldn’t have done that.” she stuttered.

“No no, it’s okay, it’s fine.” you whispered softly, then you smiled at her “keep going.” you pleaded, both of you guys lips ghosting each other slightly.

She then leaned in again,except this kiss was more passionate and deep, your sweet taste leaving a cast on ellie’s tonuge. Then her tongue slipped inside exploring your mouth. She moaned.

“Mm— get in the back” you whimpered between open mouth kisses.

She pulled away with a string of saliva connected between you guys lips. You followed behind her.

Once you two settle in the back you climbed on top of her, sliding off your top and biting ur lip. “Fuck..” ellie groaned looking at your tits in the lacy black bra you wore, complimenting your skin perfectly. “C-can i touch you?” ellie begged hands hugging your waist. You breathed out “yeah, yeah go ahead do what you need to do.” you purred.

She struggled a bit trying to unclip your bra, she chuckled looking at up at you “a little help please?” You laughed “here” you unclipped your bra for her, she was gazing at your hardened nipples. She whimpered before taking the hardened peak and rollining it between her slim fingers. You groaned your head being thrown back as your pussy throbbed on her plush thigh. “Damn, baby i can feel you throbbing on my leg” she chuckles. The sensation itself made her squeeze her legs together.

“oh shut up” you slurred. She continued rolling your nipples between her fingers watching closely at your reaction. “Ah— f-fuck ellie.” you groaned.

she bit her lip watching you struggle to keep your composure “Ellie, baby, take these off” you breathed out heavily tugging at her jeans.

She wasted no time taking them off, and now she was in her boxers and hoodie. You looked at her memorized pulling her into another kiss. “Mm— can i taste you?” you mummer softly.

Ellie nods her head “mhm— yeah”

you chuckle slightly before giving her one single kiss and making your way down. You were face to face with her sopping cunt now you kissed around her cunt kissing her inner things and giving occasional little playful bites.

“please, stop teasing me” she whimpers you laugh, you pull off her boxers and look at her cunt, her arosual was dripping out of her desperate entrance and onto the seat. it coated her inner thighs as well.

You took a shaky breath in eyes fluttering at the sight in front you.

You looked down at her swollen cunt clit peaking out the hood puffy and soaked. You couldn’t resist but taste her, you go across her cunt with a flat tongue taste her bitter sweetness, she tasted addicting.

You suctioned your mouth around her full cunt sucking and swrilling your tounge around the bud.

you looked up at her, as her eyes rolled back into her head and she moaned. Her eyes were full of nothing but escasty and despair.

“look at me baby i wanna see you” you purr, your tongue lapped over her cunt multiple times before she looked at you teary eyed. her half lidded eyes causing you to moan into her cunt sending vibrations throughout her body.

“oh fuck— ‘m gonna cum” she gripped a firm grip on your hair guiding your mouth where wanted.

Then you stopped, she whined “w-why did you stop?” she let go of your hair hands coming to cover her face in embarrassment. you chuckled “beg.” “Beg for what?” she asked confused “beg to cum— i wanna hear you” her face immediately went red.

”Really?” she replied. you pouted “well- if you wanna cum then yeah. Beg for me..”

She looked at you desperately asking for some mercy, she sighed “Please..— she rolled her eyes before continuing “please— l-let me.. cum”

“Don’t give me attitude” you teased, squeezing her thigh playfully.

Ellie frowned, lifting her hips just the slightest trying to get some attention to her starving cunt “Baby, please” she sobbed.

“Uhm— you hummed “okay, fine.”

she let out a sigh of relief.

You licked her dripping arsousl, suddenly causing her to gasp, you continued to suck and lick her clit while slowly rising two fingers to to her entrance.

Sticking the two fingers in you slowly curled them, exploring her spongy walls.

It’s like you mapped her body and tattooed it on your brain the way you were making her feel. She felt like she was floating or something.

Her body got tingly and a guttural moan escaped her lips. “Mm— f-fuck”

Moaning was the only thing filling the car and your ears, besides the music ellie put on before hand, but that doesn’t matter right now.

You slowly pulled your fingers out of her feeling her walls flutter around you from the stimulation.

you placed small kisses around her body slowly trailing up kissing her on her now plump lips.

“mm— baby” she said between kisses “yes?” you answered. She bit your lip softly “Sit on my face”

You pulled away looking concerned, “Absolutely not ellie williams i am way to heavy, let me just lik—” she cut you off “Don’t bullshit me, just sit, i’ll tap your thigh when i need to breathe”

She was a woman possessed.

And also completely obsessed.

So, you did what she said and hovered over her face for a bit before fully committing.

(idk what to put now, guys help.. if. i figure out what i want to do i WILLL give you guys a part two. again i’m so sorry, im so freaking tired tho ily tho😏)

[fuck-customers]

I have been following you guys for awhile and have had so many fuck customers moments but last week I had the one that takes the cake because I thought I was about to die. I figured it was worth submitting.

For some backstory, I'm a graphic designer at a signs & awards shop. We do A LOT of different stuff for A LOT of different people/companies. (Including vehicle wraps, this is important for later.) I had been working with a set of customers (3 guys, also important) with a design for a while and they were being difficult. Nitpicking everything, wanting me to use copyrighted images, not understanding that I am not a magician and cant just poof exactly what they want into existence. I need TIME to do things and they aren't my only customers. They also don't have emails so all proofs were done by them coming into the shop.

So last Thursday I woke up with a terrible sore throat after going to bed feeling like garbage the night before. I'm super prone to strep throats so I scheduled an appointment at 8:30 am to get a test done. I could have scheduled earlier but I knew the customers were coming by at 8:00 am to see the designs and I wanted to be there.

I clock in at 7:45 am and have everything ready for them. By 8:20 am they have still not shown up and I can't wait any longer to head to my appointment. Thankfully I tested negative and when I got back to work by boss told me they were in at 9:30 and wanted to talk to me about the design and would come back by at 3:00 pm. I said cool and went about my day.

At 2:00 pm I get a call from my husband saying he was injured at work. He is a PE teacher at a school for kids with behavior issues so it's not unusual that he has an injury however this was a head injury and the on site nurse is going to take a look and make sure it doesn't need stitches and stops bleeding. Cause you know head wounds.

At 3:15 pm, my guys still haven't shown up. My husband is cleared as not needing anything immediately but is calling the company's workman's comp to get stuff sorted. He can't drive so he has a coworker drop him off at my job. He's chilling with me while I keep working and he takes care of the calls. Around 3:45 he realizes the head wound is still bleeding some and he needs to go to the walk in. I head out at 4:00 pm and my boss says he will take care of the guys if they bother to show up. My husband ended up needing two staples and is doing fine.

The next morning, I get to work around 7:45 am. There is a white truck, our company truck and a couple of my coworkers cars in the parking lot. Because we do a lot of vehicle wraps its not unusual for there to be vehicles dropped off overnight so I think nothing of the white truck. But as I am approaching the door and pulling my keys out I hear some doors slam and a male voice say "Not getting away from us this time!"

Guys, I thought I was about to die! Who says that to a woman alone in a parking lot? I spin around prepared to chuck my coffee and run when I realize it's the customers. I glare at them before turning back around and heading in the door. After I clocked in I had my boss wait on them. I also handed the order off to one of my male coworkers because I am not messing with them anymore. You can't blame me for not being there when you consistently miss appointments and then scare the shit out of me before I am even clocked in.

Posted by admin Rodney

[ecstasyhighway]

You & I | e. williams

chapter ii

CW: abby cheats on reader 😓 uhhhh there is no smut in this its really just a look into their lives kinda. Drinking and literally one mention of ellie being high. reader has her own friends who ive just given random ahh names and the owner of the music store ellie works at is mentioned. ermmm i think thats it if i missed anything pls lmk.

a/n: please understand that i am not a professional writer.. shit might be wrong (grammer, punctuation ect) its not really proofread but its been put through grammarly so yehah enjoysies i guess

MEN DNI I WILL FIND YOU.

wc: 2.3k ish

prologue. ch 1.

You wake up to the sun shining into your room, your phone going off relentlessly, “Man what the- who is texting me” You pick up your phone,

*45 missed messages from Abby*

‘baby cmon’

‘It was a mistake, I'm sorry’

‘y/n you are doin way too much rn just pick up baby please’

You roll your eyes at her pleads. She cheated on you with one of your best friends and she just expects you to forgive her? Hell no! She betrayed your trust. You put your phone on Do Not Disturb and began to get ready to shower.

‘Where the fuck is my speaker..’ you think to yourself as you look through your apartment, making a mess of clothes on the floor. You stop and think back to the last time you used it.. Last night! you go to your kitchen and sure enough there it is, right on the counter. You grab it and go to your bathroom, put on a playlist, and get in the shower.

Ellie couldn’t sleep, she was just too embarrassed, she still could not believe she was touching herself out in public. She thought she was cringe as fuck for that.. Whatever she has to get ready for work. She does a quick sniff test ‘Good enough’ she gets into her car and heads to the shop.

She gets to the store and notices that one of the lights on the sign has gone out. She grabs her phone out of her pocket and sends a text to Mrs. Alden,

‘Good morning Mrs. Alden, I just got to the shop and noticed that one of the lights that are on the sign has gone out. Would you like me to call someone?’

‘Good Morning Ellie. Yes, you can call someone. I will be stopping by at around 4 pm. I need to pick up something and I need to pay the bills. I will see you later Ellie.’

*Ellie liked a message*

Ellie heads inside and gets the store ready to be opened, she calls a repair company to schedule an appointment to get the light fixed. She goes to the back to do a quick restock.

“Ellie! I'm here, do you need anything?” Jesse yells from the other room, Ellie flinches at the sound of his voice and walks to where he was

“Fuck, Jesse you scared me, I dunno maybe? Not right now I don’t think. The electrician is coming to fix a light on the sign at like 12, but I might not be here so will you be able to let him in and show him which light it is? Oh also Mrs. Alden is coming around 4 so be respectful she's old and she will fire you if you are just the slightest bit disrespectful”

Jesse gives her a nod indicating that he understands,

Ellie goes to her little music room to rest as the store doesn't open until 10 and it's only 8 right now. She is nervous. As much as she loves Mrs. Alden, she scares the shit out of Ellie, she's quite old and mean, and she never comes to the shop…like ever.

Whitney Alden Is the owner of ‘Musemoon’, she started the shop in 1999 and it's been her baby ever since, she met Ellie when she was 10 and took her in, she helped Ellie understand music better and form a connection with it. Ellie is terrified of Mrs. Alden, why? Don't ask, she just is.

So Alden coming to the shop is very stressful for Ellie as she is the manager and is next in line to own the store when Whitney dies. Everything has to be perfect, no album out of place, no dust on the record players. Oh, and Ellie’s music room needs to be spick and span. So before Ellie takes a little nap she sets two alarms, one for 9:50 and another for 3:00.

The sound of the alarm jolts Ellie out of her sleep. She looks at the time, it’s 9:55, enough time for her to open up the store and do some inventory.

“Jessie, I'm gonna open up shop and do some inventory before it gets too busy in here alright”

“Okay”

The repair man had come to fix the light about 8 hours ago and Mrs. Alden left an hour ago. It’s currently 8 and Ellie is getting ready to leave, but Jessie stops her

“Hey, Ellie, Dina and I were going to go to this bar downtown with a couple of friends, you wanna come?”

“uhhh yeah, who all is gonna be there?”

“Me, Dina, Tara, Cat, Syd-”

“I’m sorry, Cat?” Ellie looked at him like he was stupid “Cat as in my ex? the girl who literally made me lose my shit for like half a year?”

“Yeah, but I thought ya’ll ended on good terms?”

“Jessie Jesus fuck of course we didn’t end on good terms I literally had to stop working for a while? She made me go insane, To her we ended on good terms but to me, she fucked me up.”

“sooooo that's a no to going to the bar?”

“no fuck you im going, I need a drink. Alden stressed the fuck out of me” She rolls her eyes playfully and gives him a lighthearted punch in the arm.

————————————

You get a call from Abby, she has been blowing your phone up all day. Why can’t she catch a hint, you’re pissed at her. You don’t want to talk to her. Ignoring the phone isn’t going to stop her. You need to talk to her. Face to face. ‘fuck’ you thought to yourself, you know if you pull up to her house and try to argue with her about this, all that's gonna happen is her hands in your pants fingering away the anger. No, you decided to stand your ground, you’re going to go to her house and talk to her like the adults you are. This will not end in hate fucking, you promise to yourself.

You get in your car and drive to her house, your phone still going off constantly. Once you get to her house your eyes fixate on a car. A car you’ve seen, shit a car you’ve rode in. What. The. Fuck. You walk to her front porch and bang on the door

“ABBY” you continue knocking but still no answer.

“ABBY MOTHER FUCKE- LET ME IN OR GOD SO HELP ME I WILL KICK YOUR DOOR DOWN”

The door swings open and you see Abby, she has a black muscle shirt on and some black and red basketball shorts. You can’t lie, she looks so fine.. But no you’re mad at her.

“Baby, baby..calm down we can talk abo-”

you cut her off mid-sentence and push past her and walk into her home. “Now why the fuck” you laugh a little in disbelief “Why the fuck is Lexi’s car in your driveway?”

“it's not what you think baby I promise”

you’re looking at her intensely, she’s bullshitting you right now,

“bullshit”

You begin to head to Abby’s room, hoping to god that it was really just a misunderstanding. But your stomach drops when she tries her hardest to stop you from going in there. You burst into her room and there you see it. Lexi Smith. Here in the flesh. Literally. She’s naked and in Abby’s bed.

“Are you fucking kidding me..?” Tears begin to swell in your eyes and your voice trembles. “are both of you being so serious right now? Lexi what? Abby, I'm used to you doing stupid shit like this. But Lexi? Really? fuck both of yall”

Lexi sits there, silent with nothing to say. You look at Abby, her arms are crossed and her head is down. You walk up to her. “Look at me,” you say sternly

She opens her eyes and looks into yours. Her eyes are looking into yours so gently, she thinks she's gonna get away with this. Not this time. You’re done. You can’t take this shit anymore.

You look in her eyes. Anger filled your senses, and before you could even process it, you slapped her, hard enough to leave a mark. “Don’t call my phone ever again. I'm done, Abby. I'm done with you” You storm off to your car, tears still in your eyes, you get into your car and just sit there. You finally let go of the anger and sadness that had just built up in your body. You try your hardest not to cry too much but it's already too late. You drive home still crying. You open the door to your apartment and dial Jillian’s number.

‘hello..?’

“Jilly”

‘sweetheart? what's wrong?’

“Can you comeover please”

‘of course my love’

You hang up the phone and lie on your couch feeling numb. Why, though? This isn’t the first time Abby’s cheated… Maybe it's because it's your best friend that she cheated on you with. You sob even harder thinking about it.

about 5 minutes pass when you hear your door unlock and open

“y/n? sweetie? It's Jill” She walks over to you confused

“what’s wrong?”

you sniff, “Abby.. a-nd Lexi” You hiccup slightly between words “they…she..” You can’t even get your words out without getting the urge to cry. But Jillian understood what you said. She just hugs you and you both sit there for a moment so you can calm yourself.

“how about we try to take your mind off them for now, let's go out! a bar, my treat, Marshall and Jean can come yeah?”

you nod at her offer. Marshall, Jean, and Jillian. The ones who have been there since day one. The ones that have never betrayed you.

Jillian tells you to go get dressed and that Jean and Marshall will be there in about an hour.

Going out feels like a chore to you, you really don’t want to leave but, Jillian always knows what's best for you so you oblige. Throwing on a beige sweater dress and some heels, you and her were ready to hit the town.

Once you both arrive at the bar, you spot Marshall and Jean, ready with open arms to talk about how they never really fucked with Lexi and how they all knew she was fake. Even though they were the ones who told you to become friends with her during your freshman year of college, but whatever you know they’re just saying what you want to hear, trying to lighten the mood.

You are about three shots into some alcohol Jill had ordered for the table when you see a familiar face. Where did you see this girl? She looks so familiar, you begin to think back a day or two but the alcohol in your system was clouding your memory. The music store, right what was her name

you were so lost in thought you didn’t even realize Jean was trying to get your attention

“Hellooo?? Earth to y/n? girl hello I'm trying to talk to you”

“shit my bad what's up”

Marshall chimes in “What were you thinking about babes? you were so out of it”

You look at him and giggle a little, “okay guys, just listen” you pause hoping you have their full undivided attention. “you see that auburn-haired girl over there” You point in her direction trying to be discreet. “I know her, I met her like yesterday at that music store I went to”

They all look “Girll what is her name?” Marshall asks, trying to get any type of information he's definitely going to look her up and do some digging for you.

“I honestly do not remember. I know it started with an E or an A. Elsie? Ally?..Ellie! it was Ellie”

“bitchhh you should go talk to her” Jean chimes in but Jillian objects

“I really don’t think you should, you had a rough day and you’re already tipsy”

Jean and Marshall look at her angrily, “which is exactly why she should go talk to her. It might take her mind off of everything” Marshall says, trying to persuade her.

Jillian just throws her hands up in defeat. “Do whatever makes you happy y/n, just know I don’t think this is a good idea”

You consider just listening to her and not even taking the chance, but after some more encouraging words from Marshall and Jean, you give in, taking another shot before walking to her table.

You walk over to her, she’s sitting there so uninterested in what's happening around her.

“Hey?” you say softly trying not to startle her, She looks up at you, her eyes glossy and slightly red, she’s high..

“oh shit hey, you’re umm that girl from yesterday, y/n right?”

“yes, I am, anndd you’re Ellie right?”

she nods and looks into your eyes, “I just wanted to say hi, I saw you from across the room”

She smiles slightly “Well hey”

You realize you’ve been just standing there awkwardly, not saying anything

“Sorry I just wanted to say hi, I’ll get out of your hair now, again so sorry for bothering you”

She looks you up and down, “noo you are not bothering me if anything you’re saving me from them” She laughs and looks at her friends who are talking amongst themselves. You smile and giggle at her, you are very embarrassed,

“You want a drink?” She asks as she gets up from her seat and puts out her hand for you to take. You accept her offer and take her hand, she leads you to the bar and orders two whiskey sours

——————————

OH! and this was inspired by “The Thought Of You” by @ap3arll !!

🏷️ @vqxen @shiimer @bready101

[discount-shades]

The Wrong Wedding

The Wrong Wedding

A/N: I’ve had this idea in my head since Garrett made the boneheaded mistake of going to the wrong wedding. 

Pairing: Triple Frontier Benny Miller/Reader

Warning: It’s not Top Gun, Just Fluff

Word Count: 1000 ish

Summary: Benny shows up at your brother's wedding uninvited. 

Masterlist

“Is this seat taken?” Startled out of your thoughts at the deep, gravelly voice, you turn and let your eyes slowly rake over the tall man in a suit motioning to the chair beside you. His blue eyes questioning and it takes you a moment to realize that you are staring at him open mouthed. 

“Yeah,” you say breathlessly before clearing your throat. “I mean no, it’s not taken, yes you can sit there.” You feel your face heat up at his lazy smile and turn back to face the front of the church. He sits beside you and you force your heart to slow and your face back to its regular temperature through sheer will power, kicking yourself internally. Why did every attractive man make you flustered?

Checking the time on your phone you clasp your hands together. The ceremony was scheduled for 3:00 PM you could probably slip away around 9:00 PM without raising too many suspicions. Then you and your family could go back to ignoring each other in peace. 

“I’m Benny,” he extends his hand for you to shake. His hand dwarfs yours as you reluctantly place your palm in his. His palms are calloused and you feel a rush of heat as he gently squeezes your hand. “So bride or groom?” The handsome man beside you is not the type to revel in contemplative silence. His easy smile is infectious and you find yourself returning it, conscious that this is the first time you have smiled all day. 

“I’m here for the groom.” More composed than you had been earlier, you are able to answer his question without stuttering. “What about you?”

“The groom as well.” Benny turns in his seat so he is facing you and you fidget under the force of his whole attention. “So how do you know Fish?”

“Fish?” The nickname for your brother is unfamiliar. 

He chuckles, “When we served together Frankie’s nickname was Catfish.”

You frowned. “Who the hell is Frankie?” The second the words leave your lips you glance around for your mother, half expecting her to materialize behind you to scold you for your unladylike language. 

“Francisco Morales?” Benny’s confident expression wavers. “The groom?”

“The groom’s name is Michael.” You tell him, “It’s my brother's wedding.” 

Horror dawns on his face as the music shifts and the wedding party begins to make their way down the aisle. Pressing your lips together to contain the laugh that is threatening to erupt, you listen to Benny's muttering. “Fuck, fuck, shit, fuckity fuck, I am so fucked. Will is going to kill me.” He pulls out an invitation and you lean over to read it as well.

The date is correct but the ceremony he is looking for starts at 3:30. You scan the invitation and see he is at the wrong address. “You're at the Anglican St Mary’s." You whisper as the groomsmen walk by, "You need the Catholic Santa María church across town.”

He groans and you can't help but smile. Benny goes to rush out but you grab his arm to stop him as the wedding march begins and you all automatically stand as the bride begins to walk down the aisle. “I’ll get you out,” you find yourself promising before you can help it. Your grip flexes on his arm. You can feel his muscles clenching beneath your fingertips as the bride glides past you. 

You wait watching as the father of the bride hands her off to your brother and you shove Benny out of the row and towards the exit. As silently as you can, the two of you hurry toward the doors of the church.

You try to close the door quietly behind you as you follow Benny onto the steps. He checks his watch before frantically trying to order an Uber. “I’m not going to make it in time.” In a split second you make one of the easiest decisions you have ever made. Digging in your purse as you go you make your way to the cherry red MGB roadster convertible parked out front. 

“Get in.” you say as you finally fish the keys out of your purse. Benny stops and stares at the ‘Just Married’ sign and at the cans and flowers tied to the back of the car dubiously.

“Should we be taking this car?” Sitting in the driver's seat you look up at the man who is now towering above you. “Will you be able to make it back in time?”

“I’m not coming back.” you declare boldly. “It’s my car and the only reason my brother invited me to the wedding was so he could use the car my grandfather left me to drive away in. I should have gone no contact years ago.” You take a deep breath and stop yourself from airing all of your family's dirty laundry to a stranger. “Let’s get you to Goldfish’s wedding.”

“Catfish.” Benny corrects before folding himself into the passenger seat. The moment the door shuts you hit the gas, cans rattling behind you as you tear out of the parking lot. 

The wind in your hair brings a smile to your lips and you glance at the man beside you. His long legs are practically under his chin but he looks strangely content to be driving away with you. 

“So if you are not going back to your brother's wedding, I have an empty plus one to Frankie’s if you wanna join me.” 

“I might as well,” You laugh, “I can’t let this dress go to waste.”

[isvsbuslate]

STATS 2024 - 2025

oh boy let's go over all of this, frankly, useless data

this, too, was made in the least efficient way possible

OVERALL

let's look at the overall data collected across 8 months and a half

50 more trips than last year. somehow. 6 buses that never came vs the 4 that didn't last year. there's also been a 5% increase of late buses, with +0.8 in average lateness

i've spent 18 hours and a half waiting for the bus this academic year. how does it keep getting worse. the urban bus my beloathed tag once again vindicated in its existence wdym i've waited for it half the time i've waited for the BH line. brother i took 131 trips vs 34 of the urban bus. this is ridiculous

the HB line has gotten significantly worse (somehow), with +20% of more late buses, +2 avg lateness and +1.2 avg lateness when late. 10 (out of 135) buses were on time in comparison with 30 (out of 110) last year

the BH line has -4% in lateness even tho there were +20 trips. lateness has gone down half a minute, even if avg lateness when late has gone up <0.1 minutes. the urban bus has also gotten better, with -20% of late buses. still, it was late more minutes than last year (a full minute when late, only half a minute on average)

BUSES THAT NEVER CAME:

december 9th, monday. the 13:45 bus didn't show up

february 26th, wednesday. the 14:39 urban didn't show up because my whole town collapsed after an unidentified accident happened. every single car on the streets was stopped it was a disaster

may 5h, monday. the 19.10 bus didn't show up (it was pouring. barcelona can't even handle a slight drizzle) shout out to the 7.30 pm bus that took pity on us and left early

may 12th, monday again. 15:05, hot as fuck, the bus drives past the stop even if there were people clearly waiting. waited at the bus stop for 40 minutes until the next bus

may 28th, wednesday. 13:45, also hot as fuck. we are driven to the next stop by the twin line bus because our bus is late. when we get there our bus isn't. we watch as bus after bus of the twin line goes by with none from ours. eventually we threaten convince one of those buses (that were leaving basically empty) to take us. he does

june 23th, monday. the 6:50 bus is so late we all get on the 7:00

MONTH RANKING:

note that the overall ranking was weighted from the other three rankings to make it more fair (january still swept unsurprisingly). also may. wtf man. april was tied for last last year but improved greatly this academic year (even if i was out of school for half the month it is impressive)

BUS RANKING:

showing only those with +10 trips because there are many 1 trip bus lines and it's silly to keep them in for y'all

13:45 bro what happened to you you were top line last year, with an unexpected redemption for the urban bus somehow in top 2. 9:42 and 11:32 dropping the ball as expected.

in conclusion, i hope y'all enjoyed my suffering. shout out to everyone that even reads my posts this may be one of the most silly things i've ever done with my time.

see you september, and fuck barna :]

[idkwhatever580]

Agatha All Along Commentary

⚠️WARNING⚠️ AGATHA ALL ALONG 1x6 SPOILERS AHEAD

you’ve been warned

Im late again guys 😣 alright. Here goes nothing. I’m seriously considering taking my anxiety meds before these episodes because atp that might help.

Started watching at 3:00 pm

I stg I stg I stg I stg if this turns out bad I’m gonna throw up. And that says a lot considering I have emetophobia

Ooh fancy he’s Jewish

I’m not familiar with the Jewish religion but seems pretty cool.

Okay so we have established that this is Billy Kaplan which idk how y’all dug so deep to figure it out but I guess it was common knowledge and I do not have common knowledge so it adds up

Ooh now there’s a party funnn lol

I wish I had parents that were proud of me

Lmaooooo “you’re both disgusting” is so fucking real

4:25

ARIANA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE???

She’s kinda hot guys. I have daddy issues but I’m a lesbian lmaoooo

5:14

WTFFFF I CANT DO THIS SHIT I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT IT MEANS BUT SHES TOTALLY LYING TO HIM IN THIS

5:42

wtf does the tower reversed mean bitch

6:14

Hearing her say baby is so fucking hot I’m gonna nut everywhere

Oh lord guys I seriously have problems… but don’t say you weren’t thinking it too 😏

6:51

WTF IS THAT THING A PROTECTION SPELL OR WHAT?!?!

DID SHE PLACE THE SIGIL?!?!

Omg if she placed the sigil on him that would be insane

7:46

If y’all out there with the theories about Billy maximoff’s soul taking over Billy kaplan’s body im kms because that’s so valid

——id like to let y’all know that I know nothing about the marvel comics and I do not intend on learning or digging that deep kk? I also don’t know what Wiccan is but I guess it’s Billy maximoff? Not looking for someone to explain it tho lol——

IM SCARED J DONT WANNA SEE MY BABY

NO WANDA NO WANDA I DIDNT NEED TO HEAR HER VOICE

8:34

Holy shit.

8:39

Watching it disappear is so sad. Like I know she’s hurting and saving the rest of them

9:00

OH MY GOD THE PARENTS STAYED ALIVE I THOUGHT YALL SAID THEY ALL DIED OR LIKE TWO DEATHS

9:33

NO FUCKING WAY THIS SHIT IS ACTUALLY TRUE

Y’all playing too hard

9:52

No fucking way. I’m actually so done right now. I’m so fucking done I need to scream at someone and it needs to be the fucking producer

10:15

That must be so fucking scary to go to “sleep” as Billy Maximoff and wake up in someone else’s body. Like in Disney shows when they switch and shit they have a moment where they look in the mirror and scream but this is def more realistic

Also I thought someone said there were two deaths. I don’t see no dead people up in this bitch

10:55

wtf is this?? inside out?

11:06

Noooohohohoooooo I forgot that Billy M can mind read and shit

12:33

That dog knows

Why is it always the dog that knows?

13:44

Having to call her mom must have sucked balls

15:22

Damn he already trying to fit the part bro. Moving on too damn fast

Him and his mom with the lying bro ✋🙄

Stop I sound like Agatha 😭

16:02

SHE DID PLACE THE SIGIL ON HIM WTFFFF

16:26

Okay I see you little emo gay kid having more piercings than me and having kissed more people than me and I’m older than you 🙄

17:26

Damn that’s crazy. He actually is telling this dude his shit

18:40

Damn that’s so fucking crazy his smile is creeping me out bro

Also I totally knew little Billy M was meant to be a little gay baby

19:24

Damnit all of these hoes have connection with him. Of some kind

19:57

You found a guy on Reddit. And you’re meeting him? That sounds like you’re getting killed.

OMG WHO IS IT TELL ME WHO IT IS

ITS RALPH NO ITS RALPH POOR RANDALL SORRY RANDALL ITS JUST WE KNOW YOU AS RALPH

21:06

Damn he went kinda crazy from being with Agatha all that time huh? That means the only one that can handle her is rioooooo

21:42

Don’t take my wife’s name in vain hoe

lol I’m kidding

I also apparently have multiple wives

Lmaoooo please ask about Agatha harkness

24:06

YOU FUCKING MURDERED SPARKY I WILL NEVER EVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS I DONT CARE IF SHE MADE YOU DO THAT SHIT I HATE YOU

24:19

Omg I can’t do this shit

Does this mean that Tommy is also in someone’s body?

25:27

I seriously do wanna know what kind of crazy that lady eats for breakfast. And I hope it’s me 😏

26:24

Yeaaaahhhh this song eats me up.

27:20

HOHOHOHHHHH THAT PICTURE IS THE IMAGE OF A FA- a gay woman. A gay witchy woman…. 👀

27:36

OH YEAH THEY BROUGHT MY GIRL DOLLY INTO IT

DOLLY PARTON FOR PRESIDENT 2024

Ahem… excuse my political views ✋😭

28:20

Omg omg omg he’s going on the road to find Tommy I’m gonna cryyyyy

29:43

Oh he’s so emo with his eyeliner and his black heart boyfriend and his belt chain and his witchy witchyness

…okay maybe im jealous

29:55

Ugh mommy. They’re both so hot. I know we only see Agatha in this part but I’ll nut to the thought of Aubrey Plaza

30:06

You’re seriously using a fucking house lamp you idiot ✋😭

30:29

You tell me to stop I’ll do it mommy

OH LAWD I HAVE ISSUES

I have to shit bro 😭

31:07

Hooligan is so fucking funny 😭

31:33

Guys I’m nutting everywhere from her sitting like that she’s soooo gayyyyyy

The producer really said “gay” and Kathryn Hahn said “yes”

32:16

I think if I was in that situation as teen, I’d say I want to. I want to poke that damn bear and see if she’ll throw me on the desk and- oh. Right right. Not the point ✋😭😏

I ALSO JUST REALIZED THAT SHE IS WEARING A SHIRT THAT IS RALPHS RANDALLS? Idk anymore bro

32:59

Wait… this is so fucking funny bro 😭😭😭

33:45

OMG SHES LIKE IN THE INTERROGATION TABLE AND ITS ACTUALLY HER HOUSE BRO

I NEVER MADE THAT CONNECTION 😭😭😭

34:21

HOT HOOOTTTTT SHES SO HOT RIPPING THAT TAPE IS SO HOT

34:28

THATS SO FUCKING FUNNY BRO

34:46

Hold on these side swipe things are going too fast I’m so lost. 😭 I hate having a horrible memory that makes me not be able to remember every single detail when we’re going back to something from a different pov

35:10

STFU SHE COULDNT HEAR EITHER TIME AND BOTH TIMES HE SAID SOMETHING DIFFERENT I WONDER WHAT HE SAID ON THE ROAD WITH THE OTHER WITCHES

35:19

YEEESSSSS IM SK GLAD WERE BACK TO THE ROAD

35:28

Yes! Pull yourself out of that mystery goop!!!

36:11

FUCK YOU BITCH FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU DONT BREAK THE SIGIL PIECE FUCK YOU

37:53

Wait. I am so gullible I like her being nice bro ✋😭

38:00

COVERED IN MYSTERIOUS ROAD GOOP OR NOT THAT POSE IS FUCKIGN HOT

38:09

I can’t tell if she’s crying because she’s happy the SIGIL is broken and she’s right or if she’s crying because she actually liked the kid

38:33

FUCK SHES BEING EVIL AGAIN I NEED A GOOD AGATHA AND I KNOW IM NOT GETTING THAT BUT A GIRL CAN DREAM

38:45

I’ll kill someone for you Agatha

39:05

Wait when she’s like don’t feel guilty about your talent I feel like she’s trying to be evil but it’s kind of endearing. Like. Shes so strong about it which means so many witches have felt guilty about their talents before and she doesn’t want that to hinder him. Even if she is evil that’s pretty sweet.

39:53

OH FUCK YOU BITCH KYS KYS HAHA THATS WHY YOU CANT USE YOUR POWERS BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO BE GOOD GOOD NOT DECENT GOOD

40:43

Stfu Agatha. Don’t mess with our bitch.

Robo papa? BAHAHAHAHAHAAA

she knowsssss

41:34

BAHAHAHHAAHAAAAA

42:02

“Got it” not her being serious for once ✋😭

42:25

DONT I KNOW IT BITCH YOU DIDNT HAVE TO TELL ME IM WATXHING YOU LITTLE MAXIMOFF BITCH

Post watching notes:

I seriously needed some Agathario shit and I didn’t get that and I’m mad. IM SO MAD THAT THE INTIMACY COORDINATOR WAS FOR TEO LITTLE BOYS I NEEDED MY MIDDLE AGE WOMEN TO MAKE TF OUT THEY ARE TEASING ME 😖😖😖

[pixielillies]

Almost Aligned - Part 6: Something Like Home

Pairing: 2008 CM Punk x Reader (F)

Warnings: None

Word Count: 3,303

September 24th, 2008, Royal Oak, Michigan 9:23 PM

Your bedroom is a mess of half-folded clothes and open drawers, the soft thump of your suitcase zipper echoing faintly under the hum of your ceiling fan. You’ve been pacing your room for the last twenty minutes, your heart still fluttering like it hasn’t caught up to the fact that this is happening.

You’re flying to Chicago tomorrow.

To see Phil.

You still can’t believe the flight worked out. 9:10 AM out of DTW, straight to Midway. Affordable, decent time, and most importantly, he was thrilled when you texted him the confirmation.

You: 

Flight’s booked. I land at 10:20 tomorrow. Phil <3: 

I knew you wouldn’t make me wait a week. I’ll be there. Wear something easy to tear off.

That last text is still sitting in your inbox, and you’ve read it maybe… ten times? Okay, twenty.

You toss another tee into your bag, a soft, vintage Ministry one, then stop, second-guessing everything. Should you bring something cute to sleep in? Something… sexier?

You glance at the small drawer with your nicer underwear. Bite your lip. Pull it open.

Fuck.

You pull out a couple pairs of lacy panties, along with some matching bras.

You sit down at the edge of the bed, staring at your half-packed suitcase, trying to collect yourself. You’ve been texting for barely a few days, but it already feels like this wild, pulsing connection that’s impossible to ignore. And now you’re about to spend two full nights alone with him.

No arena chaos. No headset. No clipboard.

Just you and him.

You let out a breathless little laugh, shaking your head as you stand back up and keep packing.

Once you finish, you close your suitcase with a final zip, stepping back to inspect your handiwork. Everything’s in, clothes, toiletries, chargers, even that sexy little lingerie set you debated over. You bite your lip, excitement and nerves swirling in your chest.

Your phone buzzes with a message from Phil, probably checking in.

You grab it, thumb hovering over the keyboard before typing:

You: 

All packed. Ready to be kidnapped tomorrow.

You hit send and almost immediately your phone lights up with his reply.

Phil <3: 

Good. Because I’m counting the minutes already. Sleep tight, Jen.

You smile, excited yet nervous to see him tomorrow.

You set your phone down on the nightstand, the soft glow of the screen fading as you slide it facedown. The room feels quiet now, the city’s hum muted behind the curtains.

You walk into the bathroom, flipping the light on with a soft click.

You pull your hair out of its loose bun, fingers running through the strands before you shed the oversized shirt you were wearing over your head and onto the floor. As you step into the warm flow of the shower, the water washes away the lingering tension of the day, the texts, the packing, the wild flutter of excitement.

After rinsing, you reach for your favorite strawberry-scented body wash, the familiar aroma wrapping around you. The scent lingers on your skin as you step out, reaching for the soft, oversized gray sweatshirt you sleep in.

You brush your teeth slowly, before glancing into the mirror. You catch a glimpse of your flushed cheeks and tired eyes, a small smile pulling at your lips.

Back in your room, you slide beneath the cool sheets, pulling the blanket up to your chin. You reach over to your nightstand, grabbing your phone one last time to glance at the clock: 11:07 PM. You made sure to set an alarm for 6:00, so you had enough time to get ready and drive to the airport.

Your thoughts swirl around the day ahead, the flight, seeing Phil, the weekend waiting just hours away.

You close your eyes, letting a slow, contented breath escape as the anticipation hums through you like electricity.

I can’t believe this is happening, you thought.

September 25th,2008, Royal Oak, Michigan 6:00 AM

Your alarm blares into your ear, immediately waking you up. You blink against the soft light filtering through the curtains, the thrill of the day ahead nudging you awake.

You sit up slowly, the sheets warm and heavy around your legs. For a moment, you just breathe, letting the reality sink in.

You’re flying to Chicago today. To see Phil.

You grab your phone off the nightstand and tiredly turn the alarm off, letting out a sigh.

You swing your legs over the side of the bed, feet touching the cool floor. You stretch your arms above your head, muscles still heavy from sleep but your heart already pounding. You were never a morning person.

Dragging yourself into the bathroom, you flick on the light and wince at your reflection. Puffy eyes, pillow lines still faint on your cheek. Whatever. You splash cold water on your face, letting the shock jolt you a little more awake. Patting your skin dry with a towel, you grab your brush and pull your hair into a loose, slightly messy bun.

You don’t bother with makeup, what’s the point? He’s already seen you half-dead during a Raw taping. A little mascara wouldn’t hurt, but you don’t have the patience right now.

Back in your room, you pull on the same jeans and soft tee from last night, then layer with a worn-in hoodie. Comfort first. You slide your feet into a pair of vans sneakers and give your packed suitcase a final glance.

Wallet? Check. Boarding pass? Check. Phone? Charging, still. You unplug it and slip it into your bag.

Your stomach turns as you glance at the clock: 6:21 AM. Time to go.

Just as you’re grabbing your keys, your phone buzzes.

Phil <3: Morning. Can’t believe I’m seeing you today.

You smile, heart skipping.

You: Believe it. On my way to the airport now. Also, what you doing up so early?

You slip your phone into your hoodie pocket and wheel your suitcase out into the hallway, the quiet hum of the building settling around you. The cool air hits your face as you step outside, and for a moment, you just stand there on the stoop, exhaling a shaky breath.

Then your phone buzzes again.

Phil <3: Couldn’t sleep. Been awake since like 5. Too wired. Been pacing around my place like a lunatic.

You laugh softly to yourself as you pop the trunk and load your bag in.

You: Dork. I’m nervous too. But I’ll be there before you know it.

As you pull out of the driveway and head toward the freeway, the sky is still dark and empty, tinted only with the faintest blush of sunrise. Your GPS says 39 minutes to the airport. It feels like nothing and forever all at once.

You grip the steering wheel a little tighter.

He’s waiting.

September 25th ,2008, DTW-> MDW, Michigan 9:32 AM

The hum of the engines is steady beneath you, vibrating softly through the floor of the plane. You sit by the window, elbows tucked in, your hoodie sleeves pulled over your hands as you stare out at the clouds. Everything looks soft and far away, like the earth itself is holding its breath.

You tap your fingers against your knee, restless. You've already reread your boarding pass, checked the time at least a dozen times, and scrolled through old texts from Phil just to keep your nerves in check.

Phil <3: Text me the second you land. I’ll be waiting.

You smile, cheeks warming even though you’re miles above the ground. You can picture him now, leaning against a wall in that old hoodie, arms crossed, trying not to look like he’s checking the time every five seconds.

You glance around the cabin. Most of the passengers are dozing off or flipping through magazines. You close your eyes for a second, letting your head rest gently against the window, the morning sun casting a soft glow across your face.

This is real. You’re flying to see him.

You, Jen, who used to walk past him backstage and barely get a nod. Who used to catch her breath every time he looked in her direction. Now? You’ve got a text thread full of late-night calls and flirtatious banter and one very real destination ahead of you.

You smile to yourself and whisper, “Holy shit,” under your breath.

You’ve got less than an hour left in the air.

And he’s on the ground waiting for you.

September 25th ,2008, Chicago, Illinois 10:22 AM

The wheels touch down with a jolt, the plane rumbling to a gradual stop as the flight attendants begin their cheerful announcements. You blink out of your daze, heart leaping into your throat. It’s really happening. You’re here.

Your phone buzzes the second you take it off airplane mode.

Phil <3: Terminal A. I’m already here. You’ll see me before you even get to baggage claim.

You grin, barely holding in a laugh as you gather your bag from under the seat. The plane is slow to empty, people standing in the aisle with the usual impatience, but your fingers can’t stop twitching with anticipation.

As soon as you’re out of the tunnel and into the terminal, you scan the crowd, and there he is.

Leaning against the wall just like you imagined. Black hoodie, hands in the front pocket, eyes scanning until they land right on you. And then he smiles.

Not a casual smile. Not the smug, teasing one he wears backstage. No, this is softer, warmer, like he’s been waiting just for you.

You make your way toward him, suddenly aware of every step, every breath.

“Hey,” you say, slightly breathless.

“Hey,” he says back, pushing off the wall, that same half-grin spreading as his eyes scan you.

For a beat, you just look at each other. Then he steps forward and pulls you into a hug, tight, warm, familiar. His arms wrap around you like they’ve been doing it for years.

“You’re really here,” he says into your hair, voice low.

You nod against his chest. “Told you to believe it.”

He leans back just enough to look at you. “You hungry? Or want to crash for a bit first?”

You smile. “I’m with you. You pick.”

He grabs your bag from your shoulder like it’s nothing, slinging it over his own. “Alright then,” he says, nodding toward the exit. “Let’s get the hell outta here.”

You follow him through the terminal, weaving past tired travelers and the occasional crying baby, your steps quick to keep up with his longer stride. Phil doesn’t say much, but his hand occasionally brushes against yours as you walk, and each time it does, your stomach flips.

Outside, the air is a little cool, but bright, sunlight bouncing off windshields in the short-term parking lot. He leads you to a parked SUV, hitting the unlock button with a chirp. He tosses your bag gently into the back, then opens the passenger door for you with a casual, “Milady,” like he’s joking, but you can’t help but blush anyway.

“Wow,” you smirk as you climb in, “airport pickup and chivalry? You’re setting the bar high.”

He shrugs, sliding into the driver’s seat beside you. “Gotta impress you somehow. I’m not as charming as I look.”

You laugh, buckling your seatbelt. “You’re ridiculous.”

Phil grins, putting the car in gear and pulling out of the lot. “You keep saying that like it’s a bad thing.”

The city unfolds around you as he drives, the skyline in the distance like a promise. You steal glances at him, his hands on the wheel, the way he drums his fingers to the beat of a song playing faintly through the stereo, his jaw tightening every so often like he's trying not to look over at you too much.

The GPS announces a turn, and he follows it, navigating through a quieter street lined with trees and brick walkups. The city feels less intimidating now, like it’s opening up just for the two of you.

“You live close to downtown?” you ask, fingers playing with the hem of your sleeve.

“Kind of,” he says. “Wicker Park. It’s a couple miles out. It’s quieter. More my speed.”

You nod. “That makes sense.”

“You’ll like it,” he adds, glancing over at you. “Nothing fancy, but it’s got character. Kind of like me.”

You scoff. “So humble.”

“I try.”

He reaches over and taps your knee once, playful, before returning his hand to the wheel.

You feel that tap long after it’s gone.

Then he pulls up to a stop sign and looks over at you again. “Still glad you came?”

You meet his gaze and smile softly.

“Yeah,” you say. “I really am.”

He nods once, like he’s storing that away somewhere.

“Did you want coffee?” he asks suddenly, glancing your way. “There’s this place near my apartment. It’s kind of a dive, but it rocks.”

“Bold claim,” you reply, raising an eyebrow.

“I stand by it,” he says, dead serious.

You grin. “Then yeah. Let’s do it.”

“Atta girl,” he murmurs, turning down a side street.

As you drive deeper into the neighborhood, the buildings get older, brick and ivy-covered. It’s quiet here, residential, cozy even. You pass a few cyclists, a corner store with hand-painted signs, and a man walking two fluffy dogs that look like walking pillows.

Phil points to a faded little café on the corner. “There.”

He parks quickly, jumps out, and meets you at your side, opening the door before you can reach for the handle.

“You keep this up,” you tease as you step out, “I might actually think you like me.”

He leans in slightly, voice low but warm. “Good. Because I do.”

You stop, just for a moment, and smile.

“Let’s get that coffee,” you say, voice a little shakier than you want it to be.

He leads the way toward the café door, and you follow, thinking not just about coffee, but about how good it feels to be here, with him.

And how much better it’s probably going to get.

The bell above the door jingles as you both step inside. The café is small, with mismatched chairs, chipped mugs drying on a rack by the sink, and the smell of espresso so rich it practically hugs you. A chalkboard menu hangs crooked behind the counter, and a couple of regulars in flannel shirts nurse black coffee at a corner table, barely looking up.

Phil steps forward and nods to the barista behind the counter, a woman with purple hair and half a sleeve of tattoos. “Hey, Meg.”

“Look who the cat dragged in,” she smirks. “You never bring guests.”

You feel your face warm, but Phil just tilts his head in your direction. “This is Jenny.”

You offer a small smile. “Hi.”

Meg grins. “You must be special.”

Phil clears his throat. “Don’t start.”

You glance at him, amused, then back to Meg. “I’ll take a latte. Oat milk, if you have it.”

“We do. Punk, usual?”

“Yeah,” he replies, already pulling out his wallet. You move to protest, but he cuts you off with a look. “Let me. You flew here.”

“And you picked me up from the airport. You don’t need to buy me coffee too.”

“Too late.”

You let it go, but your smile lingers.

The two of you settle at a small table near the front window, where the morning light pours in through sheer curtains. Phil sits across from you, elbows on the table, rings glinting softly under the light.

“You good?” he asks, watching you with quiet focus.

You nod, wrapping your hands around the warm ceramic cup once your latte arrives. “Yeah. Just… it’s kind of surreal.”

“How so?”

You shrug. “This time yesterday, I was sitting on my couch in Royal Oak, answering work emails and thinking about how badly I wanted to see you. Now I’m here. With you. It’s a little wild.”

Phil leans back, arms crossing casually. “Not wild. Just right.”

You laugh softly, looking down at your coffee. “You always this smooth?”

“Only when I mean it,” he says simply.

You glance back up, meeting his gaze. It’s steady, open. A little intense.

For a minute, neither of you say anything.

Then he nods toward your cup. “So? Is it good?”

You sip, pretending to assess it seriously. “Not bad. Still might need a second one to be sure.”

He chuckles. “Careful, I might keep you here for a week.”

You smirk over the rim of your cup. “Don’t tempt me.”

“Oh, I am tempting you,” he says, voice low and playful.

Your cheeks flush again, and you look away, biting your lip.

September 26th ,2008, Chicago, Illinois 11:42 AM

You finish your latte a few minutes later, wiping a trace of foam from your lip as Phil slides his empty cup across the table with a satisfied sigh.

“Well?” he says, standing and reaching for your bag. “Still glad you came?”

You meet his gaze and smile, genuine and soft. “More than glad.”

He holds the café door open for you, the mild Chicago air greeting you again as you step back onto the sidewalk. He tosses your bag into the back of the SUV and opens your door without a word, that familiar smirk tugging at his lips again when he sees the look you give him.

“I know,” he says. “I’m just too damn charming.”

“Dangerously so,” you reply, rolling your eyes as you climb in.

The drive is quiet but comfortable. Phil’s hand stays firmly on the wheel, but every few minutes, his thumb taps against it with a nervous rhythm, like he’s thinking about something. The radio plays 70’s rock music low in the background, Queen and something by Led Zeppelin you can’t name.

You sneak glances at him as the streets pass by. His profile in the morning light, the slight furrow in his brow when he drives. It’s stupid how attractive you find him doing literally nothing. You wonder if he knows. He probably does.

He turns down a tree-lined street, older apartment buildings lining both sides. It’s quiet, residential, like he said. You pass a tiny corner deli, a laundromat with a flickering neon sign, and then he pulls into a narrow alley that leads to a back parking lot.

“This is it,” he says simply, throwing the car into park.

You step out, stretching your arms slightly before following him up a short flight of exterior stairs to a red-brick walk-up. The door creaks a little when he unlocks it.

“Watch your step,” he says, flipping on the light as he enters.

The place smells like warm cedar and clean laundry. It’s lived-in in the coziest way, records stacked by a turntable in the corner, a couple of boots kicked near the door, and a couch draped in a faded quilt. You can immediately tell it’s his. No frills, no effort to impress. Just real.

“I cleaned a little,” he says, glancing back at you as you walk in. “Didn’t want you thinking I was a complete animal.”

You smile, setting your bag down by the wall. “It’s perfect. Very you.”

“Is that a compliment or a warning?”

“A little of both.”

He chuckles, brushing a hand through his hair. “You want a tour, or just crash on the couch for a bit?”

You walk past him slowly, reaching out to run your fingers along the edge of a bookshelf filled with wrestling books, punk zines, and a couple of beat-up action figures that clearly haven’t moved in years.

“I think I want to see everything,” you say.

Phil watches you like you’re the only thing in the room that matters.

“All right,” he says softly. “Come on.”

[troublesjunkyard]

So I was super tired! Like, so tired I could barely keep my eyes open. So I rested my eyes at 4:19 pm (Because I wanted to talk to my mom when she got home at around 4:30.) and then went to bed around 4:40.

I then got woken up by Puppy Chaos opening my door at around 5:00. So I shooed him off and locked my door, (With the chain lock.) but he continued to open my door. (As much as the chain would allow.) I finally got him to stop opening my door around 5:30 - 5:40 and went back to bed.

But then I got woken up again by my mom having a loud argument over the phone with her mom. (And I mean loud. I could hear her with my door shut, and music playing on a speaker right next to me. [I don't remember if my AC was on at the time. That's really a 50-50 in the equation.]) I fell back asleep a few minutes after waking up because I just tuned out the argument.

But I then woke up around 9:30 to my mom yelling at Tucker for being a dick to Puppy Chaos while she was feeding them. (Because I [tried] to go to sleep early so I didn't feed them like I was supposed to.) And thus ends all the nonsense I was woken up to.

...

I then woke up on my own at around 10:30, so I went back to sleep. But then I woke up again at around 11:30, so I went back to bed. And again, I woke up at around 12:30 am, and again, I went back to bed. Again, I woke up at around 1:30, again, I went back to sleep. I woke up at 2:12 and was pretty pissed; it hadn't even been an hour this time! well, I went back to bed anyway. When I woke up at 2:25 I just gave up entirely.

I wasn't even sleeping in hour blocks anymore, so why bother? I wanted to sleep all night to try and fix my sleep schedule, that way I would have a good sleep schedule when I start work. (Even if I don't start for another week and a half.) But my body said "No! Fuck you!" so I just stopped trying.

I then got up and decided to do a couple of chores. I unloaded the dishwasher and took out the trash.

And we're about to sell a bunch of our shit, so I cleaned some of the stuff. I cleaned the dining room table and the two chairs that go with it, the living room TV, the TV stand, and the two TV trays.

The TV stand was so dirty! I wiped it over with one paper towel to get the bulk of the dust off and then proceeded to use 7 Clorox wipes to clean off the rest of the dust. It has shelves/sections, so I used one Clorox wipe for each section, (5) but one needed two Clorox wipes to clean off, (6) I then used one more Clorox wipe to wipe down all five sections to make sure it was clean. (7) The last Clorox wipe came up with some dirt, but it didn't look like it was just dumped in a mud puddle like the other six did.

Also, I didn't want to sit down while cleaning the TV stand, (It's low to the ground.) so I crouched down instead; but my body had different ideas. My kneecaps move a lot more than the average person, and I can literally grab my kneecap and move it almost completely out of its socket. (My legs needs to be straight and limp/relaxed to do this though.) But while I was crouching, my left kneecap decided to move itself and lock up. (When this happens, I just have to straighten my leg and it will pop back in place. But it's painful to move my leg when it's like that, and it's painful when my kneecap snaps back into place.) I ended up falling on my ass when I was trying to straighten my leg from the crouched position I was in. But hey, me falling on my ass allowed me to be able to straighten my leg.

I also have a wound on my... chest that's super infected, and a line of 3 months worth (Maybe a bit longer than that.) of dust got onto the wound when I fell and the TV stand opened up the wound. So yeah, that's definitely not gonna get any more infected than it already is. :/

After all that went down, and I put the TV and TV trays in the office, I ended up making my mom a cup of coffee because I heard her 4:00 am alarm go off. So that's how my day is starting off...

Anyway, how are you doing, Trouble?

Damn your sleep schedule is more fucked up than mine was...

And fixing sleep schedules can be really hard especially when your body isn't playing along. My sleep schedule is more separated in several blocks and some small naps but back to the point.

I'm okay (*^▽^*)

Very exhausted, much stressed but soon I've got some weeks off so-

A small light on the end of the tunnel for me hooray!

I hope you can sleep better the next time. I'll try to send you some of my tiredness /j (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

[lazyscience]

DCC Challenge, Day 20

Time To Floor Collapse: 10 days, -1 hours (give or take, what, I had things! I was doing things! )

Time for the recap episode!

Crawler @quartzandsundry

New Achievement! Calling Olson, Calling Memphis, Can You Hear This?

The nasty thing, crawler, about getting pulled by the liaison is they can dump you wherever they want. But you've still got your hands on the goods and maybe a bit more, so if you can make it back to back up, you might just kick a little mudskipper ass.

Reward: A silver Madman Poets box! Inside, A Dirty Little Crawler's Book of Voodoo, a bottle of Toraline ink, and a roll of 10 Rot Sticker Stick-Ems! Guaranteed to stick to ANYTHING you want 'em to stick to, you can charge it with any spell you can cast, stick it to you target, and trigger it up to 30 hours later! Comes in "Anarchy A" and "Brain Slug Punks Fuck Off!" Go on, stick it to the man!

Crawler @kathrynalexao3:

New Achievement! Come, the Avarice!

So you Earth crawlers, you had a saying: Greed is good. As I understand it, there are different schools of thought about whether that was meant to be understood literally or not, but what can't be denied is you guys really, really like your consumables. And who am I to judge, when you put them to such hilariously destructive uses?

Reward: A gold More is More box! Inside, 330 vials of Scatterer Hemolymph, 10 Scatterer Carapaces, 50 Bad Llama pelts, 69 Brindled Vespa wings, 86 impact-triggered HobLobber fuses, 257 Slate Butterflies, 16 institutional-size cans of Healing Custard (Strawberry), 3 wand blanks and a Wendy's Spicy Chicken Sandwich Biggie Bag with a large chocolate frosty!

Crawler @king-ofconfusion:

New Achievement! Class Update!

Congratulations on further updating your class. We here at Dungeon World:Earth highly support the endeavor of customizing everything about you to become better optimized. Now get out there and start leveling!

Reward: A Silver Disco Lemonade box! Inside, a pair of enchanted Nightgaunt Leather Pants! Add +10 to constitution, resistance to ice and poison based attacks, and +8 to Charisma because well, they look a LOT more rock and roll than the cloak, let's be so for real. Also inside, a handful of Blitz Sticks and a Night Pass to the Desperado Club bar, good for free well drinks for 30 hours from time of redemption!

Crawler @oreniaa:

New Achievement! That's a Fine Looking High Horse!

Did it hurt? When you fell from the liaison's office and faceplanted in that pile of mobs? I'm sorry about that, by the way. But it was that or the volcano and I feel like I did my best to sneak my foot on the scale, so to speak.

What do you mean, it's "thumb" on the scale? What kind of weirdo cares about thumbs? And people think I have an issue, sheesh.

Reward: A Legendary What You Got In The Stable? box! Contains a Legendary mount, Morvar'ch the Black, capable of leaping thirty-foot walls, running on water as well as on solid ground, and breathing a 5-meter cone of fire from his nostrils! (You're going to want to make sure you have the Premium Stable upgrade so that shit's fireproof, he gets um, testy if he's in the pet carrier ALL the time when you're not riding him). Capable of up to 100 km of flight 3 times in a 30 hour period (9.5 hour cooldown)

Crawler @cairfrey :

New Achievement! CrawlCon, Day 3!

6:00 AM - Focus On The Feline! Most Dungeon World editions don't see a lot of native non-sapient sentients joining in on the fun, and I've got to say, the Earth domestic cat has been cutting an outsize swath relative to its tiny adorable claws! Crawlers Cairfrey and Chirps answer questions about these cute little murder machines!

9:00 AM -Faction Wars Fracas! Cairfrey, Odette, Princess Formidable and moderator X'Nord dissect the last fantasy-styled Crawl on Alpha Ceti!

12:00 PM - Art Crawl! Crawlers Cairfrey and Chirps judge the merch featuring their likenesses at the Artist Alley! Winner gets an exclusive offer from ToyPocalypse Industries for a limited edition run, complete with royalties for artist AND crawler (contingent of course on survival)

4:00 PM - B-tier Meet and Greet! Purchase of pass allows attendees to take their OWN picture of Cairfrey and Chirps!

Reward: A Gold Fan box, voted on by the attendees of CrawlCon! Inside, the complete set of Discworld novels by Earth author Terry Pratchett, an Enchanted Pizza of +5 Intelligence and +20% increase in Mana Regeneration, and a Collector's Edition Carl's Jug O'Boom!

Crawler @deathdovesong:

New Achievement! How Does It Feel To Turn On The Light?

Watch the mobs scatter! Run, bitches, run! That is the most innovative and bizarre misuse of Torch I've ever seen, and I've got to hand it to you, when it comes to ways to shine, you know what you're doing.

Reward: a silver Happy Landings box! Includes 10 potions of Featherfall, 5 of Dolores Don't Splat, an enchanted Stone Hawk Cloak of Gliding allowing the wearer to glide much as with an Earth "hang glider" given sufficient winds, and to glide down from heights of 50 meters or less without fall damage (higher heights require a Flying skill of 3 or more )

Crawler @clearbrightlight:

New Achievement! I Cast Non-Magic Missile!

You know what the only thing more satisfying than shooting a mob with energy beams from your eyes? Deploying some big-ass explosive ordnance at it.

Why are you all booing? You know I'm right! ANYWAY...

Reward: A gold Genre Subversion box! Includes 3 barrels of Hobgoblin Funpowder, a scroll of Froissart's Legendary Boom Stick, allowing enchantment of a hollow tube to launch grenades... and I'm going to need that Club Vanquisher pass back. You're a Desperado now.

Crawler @lazyscience:

New Achievement: Still Breathing!

Remembered little brother's birthday, check. Knitting quest still ticking.

Reward: apple waffle. mmm, apples.

Now get out there, crawlers, and kill, kill, kill!

ATTENTION, all partied crawlers! Don't forget to update me on mobs, quests, or parties (defined at link) so I can award you achievements! Please let me know either in the replies to this post, reblogging with additions, or hit my askbox/DMs!

(please, do this, even with small and silly mobs/quests, it makes giving achievements so much easier!)