#its nice to not be immediately ostracized for stuff | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

infuriatedleprechaun · 3 years ago

Text

Pool Party

Bay turtle bois!

18+ for cussing, alcohol

First off. SO sorry I haven’t been posting original stuff on this profile. I was visiting family for a coupe weeks and wasn’t posting. brain storming, occasionally writing, and reblogging? Yes.

I will make it up to you guys, I made another one shot, and I’ll post a couple chapters of ostracized this weekend!

Which it where I got this inspiration. with @mysticboombox

it all started with some amazing art I was just being a spaz on (I am so sorry to the artist. It was not my intent. I was just being a weirdo. The art is gorgeous)

it sparked a hilarious conversation with mystic, we just kept feeding off each other to make a shit post/one shot. It was amusing and fun for me to write, hope its amusing and fun for you guys to read. Lemme know!

Tashi = Mystic enjoy friends!!!!!

The boys had a pretty rough day. It all started when they found a massive foot clan operation, Leo had a solid, well thought out strategy to take them down.

One Raph decided to blatantly ignore and barge into the fray. Long story short. An entire skyscraper almost crushed Mikey, and they barely completed their objective.

Which naturally turned into Leo and Raph arguing, which lead to fighting the second they were back in the lair. Splinter had to split them up, and tell them to simmer down.

So when they all got the invite to go to upstate New York where a couple of their friends were? You bet your ASS they went and took it.

They made the hour long drive in the tartaruga truck in about half the time with Leo's angry/hurried driving, he was driving like a true new yorker. But he had solid reasoning, he was annoyed with his brother and Jess and Tashi were exceptional cooks, it was happening at April's house, so naturally she was there.

So for them to pass up seeing a bunch of pretty women in their swimsuits cooking up a storm for them while they enjoyed lounging near an in ground pool? You'd have to be stupid to actually pass that up! They all quickly agreed, knowing their sour (except for Mikey…. Some how. Like seriously how was he always in a good mood???) moods could be turned around.

The truck pulled through the nice neighborhood, sticking out like a sore thumb, but luckily Donnie had such a dark tint on the windows no one could see the boys the late afternoon they made their the journey. The fact they hadn't gotten pulled over by authorities was a miracle. Being friends with the NYPD may or mar not have something to do with that.

The diesel truck came up to a nicely made gate, Don getting ahold of one of the women on his phone, all the boys knew which one he decided on. Leo lightly drummed on the steering wheel while they waited for the electric, black cast iron gates to open.

Don got off the phone and seconds later, the boys eagerly drove up to the house, parking behind the 2 car garage door. Mikey was diving out of the sliding door before Leo even stopped fully, gaining him a tired and short warning. Leo needed this break, they all needed this after such a long and rough day.

The walking ball of energy turtle brought a big glass pan of oven baked Mac and cheese. The girls requested it since he insisted on cooking something. Jess opened the front door, her arms enthusiastically up in the air as she loudly greeted them. A can of beer was already in her hands.

"What's up fuckers!" She beamed. Hugging each of them as they walked through the door, making amusing grunts as she did her best to bear hug them and lightly sway them side to side.

"Damn. Y'all need some alcohol!" She noticed immediately. Before any of them could agree or deny one, she followed up with a:

"Hand grenades all around!" Taking the mac and cheese from Mikey and leading them through the open hallways that lead through the living room and to the backyard where the pool was.

Three were groaning behind her, she was about to mess them up, but it was probably in their best interests at the time, to loosen up, not get wasted. Mikey was cheering and dancing as he followed her, making her laugh as they both hyped each other up.

"Hi guys!" April and Tashi smiled at them as they got up from their lounge chairs at the pool side and rushed over to their friends.

"What happened? You guys alright?" Tashi frowned seeing how gloomy they were. All 4 turtles were already cheering up more than before they arrived, but still needed a moment to decompress.

"Come on guys! Sit down, take a load off, dinner is almost ready" Tashi immediately noticed they weren't ready to talk about it, she understood, everyone needed de-transitioning period, especially considering what they did on a nightly basis.

"You making them drinks?" She called to Jess who was in the kitchen as the large reptiles eagerly got to the lounge chairs and got their large feet up with sighs, the sun felt fantastic, they were sunning like true turtles.

"Oh absolutely! You want anything?"

"Cider!"

"I gotchu!" The brunette assured her friend from the kitchen.

Jess knew the boys were very large and dense. It would take them a bit to even feel the alcohol. So she started them off with something strong, and then gave them the occasional beer to keep the pleasant buzz going, she would show mercy on them this day.

April watched them with a frown, but knew it wouldn't take long to get them all back into a good mood. They always eased up after a long mission at her house.

"Here we go! Hand grenades" all four terrapins smiled at Jess as she skillfully handled their drinks. She always made these ones for them because she found it hilarious that it was a green drink.

"Drink up, you'll feel better. We're having steak!"

"Right on! You fine ladies need help with anything?" Mikey gave them eyebrows.

"Chill out Mikey. We got it" Tashi smiled. Mikey only gave a cheesy grin back, making Don elbow him with a little jealousy. He met Tashi first, after all.

The boys drank their hand grenades, and they were now on a beer. A lot more lax, dancing to some low volume techno music near the pool. The girls kept it lower so people could have conversation easier.

"There we go that's better!" Jess cheered from behind the grill, another Miller lite in her hand large grill tongs in the other as she swayed her body a little, she had a tank top covering her swimsuit up as she cooked.

Tashi had a big smile as she put out a large steel bowl of potato salad. Running back in she came out with a couple racks of ribs straight from the oven. Some hamburger quiche, and a Chinese chicken salad. But wait! There's more! She had some coffee cake she made, and some blueberry cream pie. The boys didn't eat that stuff often, but when she made it, they jumped it.

Jess went to the butcher and had some New York strips ready for the fire, lightly seasoned and the grill was at the perfect temperature.

"You mother fuckers best be hungry" she pointed the tongs in warning, causing a small wave of amused snickers from everyone.

"Yeaaah. We made a little too much food" Tashi said sheepishly, taking another sip from her cider, making April roll her eyes in a good natured way.

"You guys always make too much food. Come on guys! Fix a plate and chow down" the Mike, Leo and Donnie lined up at the grill with a plate, getting their steak now before loading up with other good food.

Tashi was behind Donnie, looking up at him curiously. Her light brown eyes catching attention from his peripheral vision so he looked down at her.

"What happened today to make you guys so upset?" She finally asked him quietly when she got his attention. Don frowned a little, but it didn't kill his buzz.

"Raph went against orders. Almost got Mikey squished" the brunette looked at him with doe eyes, fear for the youngest.

"Oh shit! That's terrifying. I'm glad everyone's ok" Tashi responded as she gazed at Raph, who was standing near the pool, looking in, clearly considering hoping in to cool off. Also probably waiting for the line for food to die down a bit, he typically served himself.

"Wanna get even?" Was her very quick follow up question. The turtle side stepped to get closer to the grill, looking at her with interest.

"Go on" he said all too quickly.

"Think you could throw me?" She had such a devious aura to her as she grinned up at up.

"You weigh nothing soaking wet. So yes.... but why is the real question"

"He's standing by the pool... throw me at him and knock him into the pool" Don was about to load his plate up with a steak but froze at the idea. Making Jess raise a brow at him, even wave a hand in front of his face in a poor attempt to break his concentration.

"Lets do it"

"Um... do what?" Jess drank a sip of beer but shut up and watched when Donnie picked up Tashi, watching Raph carefully to make sure he didn't catch on somehow.

Don had a hand on the small woman's lower back, balancing her by grabbing her legs, her whole body near his head as he reared up. Clearly calculating where he'd need to throw to get the largest turtle down.

"Ready?" He whispered.

"Do it" Tashi gave a small giggle.

"No fuckin way" Jess said quietly as she watched the scene, her eyes were wide as she took a large swig of beer in excitement. Donnie threw his weight into the wind-up, even stepping a little, making sure to clear the 5 feet between he and his brother easily.

Tashi gained momentum, she was on a direct course to Raph's head. She sprawled hilariously like a cat. And clung to his head enough to drag him down to the pool where he did a belly flop as he fell like a freaking sky scraper, the splash, lord THE SPLASH.

Everyone started laughing their asses off as Raph broke the surface tension of the water.

"What the fuck! Did you just throw a whole ass person at me?!"

"I did!" Donnie assured his older brother who had absolutely no other words. His brother had thrown one of their friends at his head. Tashi did a sloppy front stroke to the edge of the pool, barely, she was laughing so hard.

"Good shot Donnie!"

"Stop throwing your girlfriend at me Donnie!" Raph huffed as he made his was back out of the pool.

"Fine. Next time I'll throw yours" Raph would've choked if Donnie said that while he was in the pool.

"Zufuck is that supposed to mean?" He mumbled. It appeared the brother in purple chose violence today.

"Welp. That was surprisingly therapeutic. Thanks for the recommendation Tashi!" Don adjusted his glasses with a grin at the small woman who walked around the pool back over to Donnie.

"Anytime"

Jess snickered as she took the rest of the steaks off the grill. Noticing a mutter from Leo along the lines of "I could use some therapeutic shit right now." Ha! Big blue seemed to be a bit jealous he didn't think of it!

Jess walked over to him, after grabbing a beer from the cooler right next to the grill. (Walking all the way back inside for alcohol was for plebs) the blue eyed woman got to where the turtle was sitting at the glass table, setting the can next to him, and opened it for him, then she got close enough to his ear.

"You can have a turn. We ride at dawn" Jess probably had a little too much. But she was so down to help the eldest brother out in his revenge ploy, though.

"Jess what are you on?" Leo shook his head at her.

"The good shit. Ill hook you up once it's done" the blue eyed turtle laughed at her and watched his three brothers come over to the table, their paper plates doubled up so they could load them up with food, still getting over their laughter from watching the brains of the operation chuck one of the short women. Raph Got a towel off one of the lawn chairs that was still in front of the pool, as he began to dry off.

"What better time than the present?" Leo side eyed Jess as he had a sip of his beer. She pointed at him as she took her shirt off to reveal her blue swimsuit top.

Leo quietly stood up, abandoning his food for now. And did exactly what Don did. Mikey was biting his lower lip in both excitement and to hold back laughter. He usually pulled the pranks but he wasn't even mad. This shit was hilarious! Especially when someone like Leo got involved!

The leader in blue didn't want to tip his brother off. He looked at the human Canon ball in silent question. Asking if she was ready, she eagerly nodded her head as she looked at the target, locked on, evil grin on her face.

"Omae Wa Mou Shindeiru" Jess called in midair

"What?" Raph ever so slightly turned just in time to see her but not enough to dodge her. He was fast but not THAT fast.

It was a beautiful repeat. Sprawled out like a spider monkey, dragged the turtle in red down to the water with another slap, towel was around his head, it was definitely a bonus. This time big red surfaced and began to angrily cuss at his brother.

"You're right don. That hits the spot" all the girls were laughing. Jess nearly drowned she was laughing so hard, Raph had to actually help her to the side of the pool next to him.

"Don't die you little enabling ass hole" Raph huffed at her as she rubbed the tears from her eyes. She had to give herself a moment to stop laughing to get the strength to pull herself out of the pool.

"Tashi. I'm so proud of you for coming up with this. That shit is so awesome dude" Tashi and Jess walked up to each other, bumping knuckles wile they snickered.

"Do I get a turn to throw a pretty lady at Raph?" Mikey chirped.

Raph was sopping wet again and glared at the youngest in quite the silent death threat.

"Kidding big bro!" He waved off, making Raph slightly relax.

"I don't need an accomplice, I'm advanced" he rubbed his hands together with his tongue out.

"I swear to god Mikey" the biggest pointed a finger at the youngest in warning. This time when he grabbed a towel, he kept a large distance from the pool and watched everyone with paranoia. Which gave the small crowd another round of solid laughter.

Jess got a high five from Leo as Raph now begrudgingly went to go get his food while muttering angrily about Donnie and Leo.

"Bro's please tell me someone got that on camera" Mike said through a big mouth full of his mac and cheese.

"There's cameras posted in two different spots back here, one if not both got it" April grinned as she nonchalantly stabbed some Chinese chicken salad onto her fork.

"Right on. We'll need that before we go" Donnie quickly pointed at the black haired woman.

Raph went back outside as everyone else migrated to the couch, wanting to watch a movie and let the alcohol wear off. Possibly sleep as well.

It was evening, still light outside, but all he wanted was a peaceful moment at the pool before he joined everyone. His large muscular body raised and lowered as he released a large sigh.

He made sure no one followed him, the coast was clear, air was a perfect temperature, water was deathly still.

This was the literal definition of peace/peaceful. The turtle did another double take in his surrounding area, even looking up at the direction of the roof.

Thank god, not a soul in sight, he walked to the pool side. Sitting down, and he plunged his legs into the pleasant temperature the water gave. Leaning back on his arms, a smile on his face, his guard slowly being let down.

Body relaxing, this was nice, this is what he needed after such a tense day. He lightly kicked his feet with a hum, this is what he was talking about!

All of a sudden, a sixth sense went off, making his eyes snap open, and look around. There was no one around but why did he suddenly feel so uneasy?!?

He looked around again just to make sure, he felt something for a reason. There was no one around him though?! So what was the deal!

That's when it occurred to him to look down. So he did, into the water, to see the youngest brother submerged there, eyes as wide as they could go staring up at Raph.

Raphie boy went through all stages of grief in a split second, ending on a bitter acceptance. He wouldn't be able to outdo the prank master in speed, even when he was under water.

Sure enough, he felt Mikey wrap his arms around his Calves, shins against the attacking turtle's plastron. At first it was slow, Raph took a t-pose with his arms.

Accepting his fate as he was lifted up, and slowly got dragged into the pool. The rest of his upper body got yanked in quickly, causing bubble to rise to the surface quickly.

He guesses he deserved this after today....

#tmnt #tmnt donatello #tmnt raph #tmnt leonardo #tmnt april #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt fandom #tmnt bayverse #tmnt x reader

57 notes · View notes

creacherkeeper · 4 years ago

Note

How is the cowboi doing? :) I’d love to hear about some of their recent adventures.

OH WELL IT'S ME + ALSO MY DICE HATE(/love) ME SO YOU KNOW THEYRE GETTING WHUMPED CONSTANTLY LMAO

there have certainly been some Events Unfolding so those are under the cut, casey since youre in our campaign now NO PEEKING

fair warning this is .... long ..... you have asked me to talk about my dnd character and you simply CANNOT stop the floodwaters now. enter at your own risk

okay so basically the first arc of the campaign kind of kicked off with them getting a vision from their goddess (the grain goddess/goddess of agriculture) saying that she was trapped in a fey gate and that they needed to come rescue her

so erley immediately Rallied The Posse and set off to do that. they NUMEROUS times tried to pray to her, commune with her, basically just get ANY sort of communication or guidance from her, but the dice like to tell their story so i literally never got above an 11 (paladin with only +2 to religion my beloved) and they never heard from her, which was making them. pretty nervous. when it seemed like everyone else was able to talk to their gods just fine

well we eventually figured out that there was a huge gathering of fey in the woods (me: this might be too big for us to fight. what if its like 30 fey? / my dm, glancing at his notes where he has 2000 fey written down: (: ) and basically the fey like. had captured and were trying to kill what was left of the pantheon so they could bring back gaia as the One True God

we found all this out because it turned out several members of the party had been lying about how much they knew of the fey and had personal connections to the fey they'd kept hidden. and erley, who is ALSO HIDING A LOT from the party like. immediately went on the offense and was just generally very unhappy about this

there had been this fey merchant who kept popping up wherever we were trying to sell us magic weapons that seemed tied to us specifically. erley was always VERY suspicious of her and did everything in their power to stop the others from buying her weapons (which we literally had to buy with -5 to a skill point, not money, v sus) to mixed results. but basically when we got to the fey gathering (we called it gaiapalooza) erley rolled a 1 on their survival check to get through the magic field and like. got teleported to her. and they really wanted information from her so they basically were like LEORA I DONT KNOW WHO TO TRUST I THINK MY PARTY HAS BEEN LYING TO ME, CAN YOU TELL ME ANYTHING ABOUT THEM CAN YOU SEE US WHEN YOURE NOT THERE? and basically pretended to need a therapy session in order to milk her for information lmao. she also seemed like. REALLY interested in erley and i was also very nervous about that

and i was RIGHT to be suspicious of her because we found out she WAS ACTUALLY THE BIG BAD and we had to fight her in the arc finale. and several of our party members had rl stuff and were not there, and in game our druid was away casting an 8 hour long spell to try and stop the palooza ceremony, so our party was SUPER nerfed and also as soon as erley realized it WAS actually leora who was behind all of it and she WAS trying to hurt them with those weapons (the weapons were tethers to the gods to be able to kill them basically), they got .... a little angry

and my party found out after irl a year of playing these characters that erley's first level is barbarian :))

so erley raged and did frankly a staggering amount of damage in this fight, and also only stayed up because of rage because they took a LOT of hits. but also. they dont rage FOR A REASON so it sort of took them over and when leora dropped, one of the other pcs ran over to stabilize her as she was making death saves and erley :) maybe :) drove a spear through her heart and killed her :)

and her body immediately just like. overgrew with plants and vines and flowers and basically wrapped the spear in a bed of plants and it was very cinematic and cool

(we have since found out that leora was like. actually an aspect of gaia so. that is. interesting)

of course then erley popped out of rage and was like FUCK this is why i dont do this, i went too far, it always goes too far, THIS is why im ashamed of this, and just got very emo boi about it. so they used their last spell slot to cast restoration on the space they had fought in and reached out to their goddess, having just saved her and the rest of the pantheon like she had asked them to

and i rolled a nat 1!!!

(the dm was like "you have committed this violent act, you feel so low and so bad and in need of guidance, and reach out to your goddess. and the absolute lack of a response just makes you feel empty inside" and i was like :) oh :) okay cool :) you love to see that with your paladins huh)

at this point the druid came back in and, instead of erley like. examining any of their own shit immediately lashed out at her and was like "why did you lie to me about the fey, why did you lie about why you were here, why ARE you here because i realize now it wasnt to help me"

and at that point ONE OF THE FEY QUEENS WALKED IN and the druid was like "... mother ..." and we were all :O

so it turns out the fey queen is her birth mom but had like? kidnapped one of the children of her firbolg tribe and was holding her hostage and the druid was on a quest to find her and bring her back

so erley :) felt :) even more bad about that :) and very shamedly pledged their help to her, and basically was like "as long as youre on this noble quest i will follow you if you'll have me"

so we're on our second arc now, which is traveling across the country to go meet the fey queen and get this kid back. as we were traveling my dm had me roll religion and a luck check and i got a 21 ON RELIGION FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER and a 6 luck. and he was like "you dont usually dream, but you have a nightmare. you know this nightmare was given to you, it was divinely inspired, but you dont know who sent it" and it was just erley killing leora over and over and over again. so they were like. well fuck

(my dm also messaged me privately and we talked and he was like. yeah you can get rid of your oath of devotion and change it to oath of the ancients, i am not telling you or erley why the subclass has changed and you also might get nerfed later. also level up barbarian for the next fight)

so erley was. feeling PRETTY DANG BAD and very guilty and stressed and all that. they did also realize their barbarian side was getting stronger which, considering their backstory is all tragic barbarian shit they were NOT happy about. i was fully prepared to have them be more ostracized from the party and go into full angst mode, but then the druid actually like. pulled them aside and explained why she had hidden information from them, and had a very sweet conversation with them and held their hand and it was VERY touching (she also had the baller line "you think your goddess can hear you and she's not answering. but maybe you're talking in a whisper and she needs to hear you scream")

we had another fight (we're level 7 and my dm told us after it was a cr 32 fight like. dude??? what the fuck?????) and once again erley didnt go down only because of rage

THEY ALSO UNINTENTIONALLY CAST MISTY STEP (which is an ancients spell they didnt have before) and were like WELL NO TIME TO UNPACK WHAT THAT WAS RIGHT NOW, HAVE TO NOT DIE

after the battle was over i asked to roll a check to figure out why i had access to that spell and got :) yeah you guessed it :) another nat 1 :) so erley has literally no idea how they cast that or what it could mean. we just had a new pc introduced who is a sorcerer so erley is definitely going to talk to her and see if she knows anything. because they are FULLY IN THE DARK about their subclass change or what that means in game

we're also (because of the fucking cr 32 fight) going to be leveling up again soon, and babey you KNOW im leveling barbarian. after rage kept me up and then rolling another nat 1 religion check, and also me the player not knowing whats up with their goddess/magic, i simply cant level paladin rn. so im BETWEEN A FEW SUBCLASS OPTIONS and ive been thinking them over but i think it really depends how the next few games go

my FULL ANGST option was to make them level into zealot barbarian like their awful dad, but i thought that made the least sense in universe rn

secondary angst option is to level into berserker, which i think fits pretty closely with how i've been roleplaying the rage so far. trading off an extra attack for a level of exhaustion fits pretty closely. also whump central

the NICE option is to have them be a totem warrior barbarian, and have both their paladin steed and their totem be a bull :) (they are a cowboi after all) i think thats the closest i can marry their two classes and potentially have some healthy growth for them, let them see that the rage doesnt HAVE to be a bad thing, that being a barbarian isnt something they HAVE to be ashamed of. reskinning the bear totem would give them resistance to all damage but psychic while raging, and im planning on taking the tough feat, so theyd pretty much be ... an unstoppable tank. plus i can still divine smite while in rage so theyd be VERY powerful

and now youre all caught up on my very special boi :))))) bet you didnt expect quite that much of an infodump but. listen. listen im simply obsessed with dnd i cannot help it. any chance to talk about my characters i WILL TAKE IN A HEARTBEAT (thank u for prompting my ramble lmao)

#ERLEY RYZER THE COWBOI MY BELOVED <333 #god this is literally SO long im sorry lmaooo #i have several friends not even in our party who are like 'will you PLEASE be nice to erley stop whumping them'#and im like #no <3

5 notes · View notes

b-rainlet · 4 years ago

Note

Gotham for the fandom ask thingy.

(I ran here so fuckin fast you have no clue)

Hello anon! :D I will answer this now, so you don't have to wait any longer but also....this would be very nice to answer through gifsets...(maybe when I am feeling up for it).

For now, have this:

(It's not proof read because I just sat at this for several hours and I don't wanna look at it anymore).

Favourite Male Character

You mean...besides the obvious answers?? :D

Ngl, it's S2 Jerome. I love that little twink with his parental issues and his tragic backstory and I wanna see him happy. There's a reason I have a bunch of AUs where he ends up having a family (mostly in the form of Lee as his Mother) and gets some actual help instead of being ostracized for being a mentally ill person snapping after years of abuse.

(This also ties into my very strong feelings regarding the fact that nobody actually helps the people at Arkham. And I don't mean the main villains there, I mean all the inmates who get treated like shit and are left behind on the regurlar (remember in S2 when Arkham was about to explode and nobody was talking about evacuating the inmates???? I do).

Other than that, one of my faves is also Jonathan. Which may be a little surprising because I barely talk about him but he was my favourite character throughout the show and he had way too little scenes.

(Kinda telling that the characters I latched onto are both helpless teens who were fucked over by the people who were supposed to protect them and can both trace their villain origin story back to Jim Gordon not caring enough about them lmao).

But the cast is big and varied enough that I actually like everyone? Butch, Zsazs, Penguin, S1 and 2 Ed, Jervis, Harvey, Jim......I like them all!!

(Special shoutout to 514A too, he was soft and baby and I wanted to keep him safe and sound really desperately).

(Another special shoutout to Barnes!! I didn't expect to like him when I first saw him, given he looked like he was gonna be mean and stoic and all, but I ended up really liking him and his story!)

Favourite Female Character

Let's just pretend Ecco doesn't exist for this answer ajdkaskaslj.

I fell in love immediately upon seeing Ecco but all! the women! are so!!! good!!!!

I especially have a soft spot for the side characters. I mean, upon first watching I got attached to Alice (even though she only features in two episodes lmao), and also Kristen Kringle - who isn't talked about much within Fandom, but she was pretty and her and Ed were actually quite cute but then she had to die for him to become the Riddler which was...pretty much telling us from the beginnning 'The woman here die to advance the men's plots'.

Barbara was also a big surprise to me because I figured she'd be the female love interest and nothing more but!! her and Jerome were the best thing in S2 and also the most entertaining thing about the Maniax Plot. (In several ways, I think I had the most fun watching this show during S2 , it was just. Good).

Also upon being in this Fandom and thinking about certain characters a bit longer I also really like Vicky Vale. And Montoya. And I wish they had kept both around for longer.

(I also wish they wouldn't have made Vicky a love interest for Jim. Or Sofia. No love interests for Jim except Lee and Barbara please).

Also Selina!! I love both Selina and Tabitha with all my heart - which may also be surprising because I barely ever talk about Tabby but I contain multitudes aklskddsm, and while I like sharing my horny thoughts about Ecco, I also love to think about Tabby and daydream about her being happy and exploring her (and Selina's) issues with showing weakness and affection and their strong loyalty regarding people that they trust.

I just.....women. Women good.

(Women also deserve to have more character than just being somebody's love interests and I have enough wips that completely sideline the guys to focus on the woman instead lmao).

Least Favourite Character

I don't have many characters that I hate??

I generally tend to instantly love everybody unless they are specifically made to be unlikeable. (I also spite-like characters who are hated for petty reasons, I just have a lot of love in my heart and not much energy for hate lmao).

But there were characters who annoyed me while I was watching.

For one, I think Gotham has a variety of super entertaining villains, but the main villains of each season tend to be....boring.

Safe for Strange they all kinda fell flat for me. Theo. Kathryn. Ra's Al Ghul. His Daughter. Mostly because their plotlines were less exciting than stuff like Jerome's carnival or Mother and Orphan's Hotel of Horrors.

Or their motives seemed a lot less understandable than the ones of the other Batman villains who pretty much always come from a place of suffering and abuse and break/snap under the pressure that's put on them (continuing this take of Gotham creating its own villains by leaving behind - mentally ill - people that need help, which I think is very true to most - if not all - Batman villains).

And then you have some characters that simply suffer from the fact that the show was cut short - which is pretty much any and every S5 character that had way too little screentime, but in this specific case means Jeremiah.

Because I disliked Jeremiah a lot while watching.

Without wanting to step on anybody's toes, him and Nygma are probably the two characters on this show I ended up disliking the most.

Mostly because Miah felt like a very cheap copy of Jerome and to this day I think it was a bad idea to replace Jerome with him, since Jeremiah - to me - seems like a super flat character.

Maybe if we had gotten him without meeting Jerome first, just having a Joker character introduced in S4, maybe I would've adored him, who knows.

But in comparison to Jerome...no. Just no.

(I will spare you from any longer rambles, but I think if you follow me, I talked about the ways Miah is lacking for me before).

My made up version of Miah though? I love him.

With Nygma it's even worse because I adored him. I instantly liked him. I was 100% behind him right up until the godawful Isabella plot happened and then it just all went to shit so quickly, I couldn't stand seeing him on screen anymore.

It's surprising that I didn't stop liking Oswald but to me, Oswald pretty much stayed the same while Ed became all bitter and hard and I just miss dorky S2 Ed you know?

It actually got so bad, I completely turned my back on Nygm/obblepot as a ship because I was so severly disappointed and I barely talk about Ed because I just can't stand what they did with him.

(Another victim of bad writing).

Favourite Ship

I'm just gonna stick to canon ships because I don't ever shut up about my Fanon ships so you probably know which ones I love the most :D

There isn't much romance going on within Gotham if I think about it - apart from Jim - which I definitely prefer. You wouldnt guess it from my blog, but I am not a fan of too shippy stuff because in most cases it just means sex scenes and I can live without those. I want action! Blood! Dead People! Not a two minute make-out session between two bland characters!

I gotta admit that Ed and Lee have some cute scenes and I would definitely ship them if I didn't dislike S4 Ed so much (S2 EdLee tho?? Yes).

Also I thought Jim and Lee was okay and Baby Batcat was quite cute at times but mostly I don't care about the canon ships.

I do ship Barbara and Jim though :D

I remember right before they hooked up in S5 I was like: 'I wouldn't mind if they got back together' and then went 'yay!' when they did and I wouldn't have minded a little more 'Will they?? Won't they??' between those two and them just having the mother of unhealthy relationships on this show.

(Also Jim/Barbara/Lee poly relationship but we can't have everything).

Favourite Friendship

So many good relationships on this show!

I need to rewatch the show soon because I probably already forgot about most of them but from the top of my head: Oswald/Butch and Oswald/Zsazs

Which were both then done dirty lmao. One by having Oswald be overly petty (one of the few times I was like...Pengy...wtf...) and the other by passing up the obvious opportunity to have Zsazs find out who really killed Falcone and just...letting Oswald and Victor never interact again.

Then of course Ivy and Selina which also gloriously fell apart. Just like Ivy and Oswald.

(Gotham isn’t the best when it comes to maintaining friendships).

And the biggest and most grandious friendship of them all: J Squad.

(Who have too little scenes together honestly and then also simply fell apart after Jerome died. Consistency who?)

Favourite Quote

I don’t know, I don’t have many quotes in my head from the show. Me and my niece mostly reference: “Yeah, that’s a spoon.” - “IT IS ALSO A FORK!!1!!!”

Also: “Gotta Go! Gotta Go! They’re after me and the Scarecrow!”

(There are some dialogue blurps I have written down somewhere because they are inspriration for gifsets but in order to be able to just recite some of them from Memory, I would have to watch this show way more obsessively).

Worst Character Death

I don’t even gotta say anything do I? :D

But I think the character death that actually made me cry was Jerome’s first death. I clearly remember crying because...he just wanted recognition! And praise! And instead he was used as a pawn and betrayed by someone he idolized and he was only 18! My poor little meow-meow!

Seriously, the only things that make me cry on this show: Jerome’s first death, any and all mention of Bruce as a baby - told by an emotional Alfred, any and all Bruce/Alfred interaction at all and Solomon Grundy.

This made me so happy you have no idea Moment

I seriously need to rewatch this show, it’s been so long :D

But I remember being pretty excited for the J Squad Team Up - because I was like ‘If I were Jerome I would definitely work with Tetch and Scarecrow since they’re also in Arkham atm’ and then he did!!

And I also distinctly remember in S3 that I was close to falling asleep right when they scene came on where Oswald realizes his feelings for Nygma and let me tell you - it caught me so off guard, I was awake instantly lmao.

(I knew that people shipped them but I was so used to mlm ships being popular when they only have a handful of scenes and are platonic friends that I didn’t expect them to actually have a possibility of being canon).

From then on I was super pumped for them to deliver on that ship but well....we all knew what happened asnksnndk.

Saddest Moment

Aside from the already mentioned scenes in the character death column, the scene where Bruce leaves and Selina runs to the airport. I always liked Selina but she wasn’t a priority character of mine (much like Bruce isn’t) but then that scene happened and in an instant, I felt super protective over her.

She is now my baby. My daughter. My beloved wife. She deserves everything and most importantly she deserves better than Bruce Wayne.

(Coincidentally that was also the scene where I decided I don’t care much about Bruce asldjkjlj. I absolutely adore early seasons Bruce though).

Favourite Location

There are so many different locations, I don’t think I can adequately answer this with my spotty memory :D

But I always loved the few episodes where Alice features, because I love how her scenes are shot so probably the little carnival Jervis prepares for her.

Also!! Jeremiah's church!

Or Commissioner Loeb's secret house (Especially the Attic).

There are a lot of cool locations, I gotta gif some of them soon :D

#Long Post #To do

4 notes · View notes

jarofrebuke-transcripts · 5 years ago

Text

Jar of Rebuke Episode 1 Unofficial Transcript

Season 1 Episode 1: Pilot

INTRO

The following audio recording is classified documentation for Case [audio distortion] with the Enclosure. Unauthorized access to this information will lead to immediate intervention. Progress further if proper clearance has been given.

JARED

Dr. Daman has suggested that I start an audio journal of some kind, something outside of my therapy sessions to help me track my progress or whatever. Considering I don't have much of anything that's mine anymore, she suggested that this might actually be a good way to reclaim some of my individuality. Maybe talking about what I do know of myself might help me remember more. So I guess I'll start with what I know. My name is Dr. Jared Hel. I'm a field researcher for the Enclosure. I specialize in studying the particularly dangerous creatures around here. For some reason, no matter their effect on others, nothing is permanent on me. Gods, the amount of times I've died this last year is probably more than I should ever care to admit. I guess it's a blessing in disguise though, it's job security, for one thing. A scientist who can't die no matter how dangerous the entity he's studying? I think I'm set. Sure, I may bounce back from death with a few more scars but they're relatively healed up and I'm rarely ever in much pain when I wake up. Though, to be fair, if the Enclosure just left these creatures alone I’m sure this wouldn't even be an issue in the first place, but no... they just gotta meddle.

I started working at the enclosure, what, two years ago? Though I've really only been on the field for less than a year. Apparently, I worked at a different research site for some other organization before that but I don't really remember anything from before two years ago. I supposedly transferred here to research a particularly dangerous subject, the one that... um... well the one that killed my team. And me, I guess. The most frustrating thing is the lack of remembering- I don't remember any of their names, their faces, nothing. I had to relearn absolutely everything and no matter what I relearn I never remember. It's so infuriating knowing that there's a whole childhood and more that I have yet to recollect anything from. I feel so left out of reminiscent conversations, you know? Well of course you know, I'm practically talking to myself here. All I know of myself before the incident is what was on my work file- top of my class graduate from IU, but I don't remember a damn thing about my time there. Apparently there's a lot of fields around there, though I guess that's not too different from the towns around here. Born and raised in those corn fields, according to my records. No documented family to speak of. But from what other folks in the lab have shared about their families- maybe I’m not missing out on too much.

When asked about getting in touch with the folks from the other facility that I worked at they didn't seem to think that it would be too helpful. Hell, how would they even know who to put me in touch with? Wasn't like they would have documented my friends or anything. So again, nothing. Story of my damn life. And of course there's Todd. Oh I’m sorry, Dr Todd Carmen. He's currently head of operations at the enclosure. He's, uh, I'll say he's a character. Not as unique as he thinks he is but certainly not boring, but just because something isn't boring doesn't mean that it's entertaining. He has a fashion sense that I would have never personally considered wearing, but um that shade of orange with his pale complexion? Simply bold choices in my opinion. But I'm sure he'll get himself sorted out someday. Besides all that though I guess it's not too bad. Job security with benefits- apparently a lot of jobs don't offer health insurance. Though with our line of work it's kind of necessary, to keep us alive.

Uh, what else do I know? The Enclosure is an organization based out in the middle of absolute nowhere that researches the various anomalies, but really only bothers with the particularly dangerous ones. Like, really dangerous ones. I mean bigfoot, mothman, that sort of stuff they really just leave to their own devices for the most part. Sure they hurt and even I guess sometimes kill people, but not a lot of people, and enough people already know about those things to not really hide them away now. Wichton is like two hours from any other town. It's guised as a farming town. Uh well no, it is a farming town but the enclosure has taken it as its guise. Most of the facilities are underground, deep underground. They paid off all the townsfolk back when they were building to not ask questions. And considering they built it during a massive economic depression, no one asked questions, the townsfolk took the money. But there's still some circulating rumors about us to this day, of course. As long as we keep the particularly dangerous creepy crawlies underground with us they've got no reason to worry too much. Sure, sometimes things sneak out and make weird noises in the fields at night but country folk are superstitious folk, and if nothing else it's what these people have known all their lives. Suspicious lights, weird noises and mutated deer don't even faze these people. The Enclosure picks its battles when it decides what to tackle, that's for damn sure. Not like they're an international brand or anything, they only have the resources to stick to these neck of the woods, and with all the anomalies in these parts, not really surprised that they settled here. Been here for nearly 100 years and have very little idea why it's such a supernaturally charged area. Some say it might be the fact that folks are so superstitious that it basically invites the energy here. But others think there's a reason, but it ain't my department to figure that out. The hardest part of the job is getting things into the facility. But sometimes the hot shots up top decide to just have us study those things from afar since taking them out of their established locations seems impossible. So many ladies in gray and white dresses all over the place, we can't exactly make a support group for them here or anything! Not when they're out busy haunting dunes or lakes or crying by the side of the road or whatever. Not really hurting anyone all that much, so they've mostly just been left alone. We keep tabs, but we also don't always interfere. Oh and being the sacrificial lamb is a bit annoying, but I bounce back quickly enough. Death has gotten less disorienting over time, but no less annoying.

What did I do today? Well... I had a shorter day, shift-wise, so I went in at like 6 a.m, then got out around one-ish. I was supposed to leave closer to noon but I ended up having to stop at Dr. Rahal’s office for a bit for my headaches. They've been getting worse and we don't really know why. At least they come and go in waves, so I get some peace at times. It's always nice to see Dr. Rahal though, he's been the nicest to me since I started at this place, from what I can remember at least. He's one of the Enclosure physicians who I've been seeing. From anything to work related injuries that aren't too severe to these headaches. I swear I've never met a guy in my life who can smile so genuinely and be so sincerely happy over just about anything. It'd honestly be annoying if it weren't so sincere and if he also weren't so genuinely nice. He's really trying to help with these headaches but medicine doesn't really ever help and the medical scans showed nothing that would indicate any issue. I mean, not that they let me see the medical scans. I guess I wouldn't understand them anyways, even if they did let me.

Dr. Rahal thinks that it's likely stress so that takes us back to therapy with Dr. Daman. Had a session after work, which was when she suggested that I really start this up. She's suggested it before but I kind of dismissed the idea until today. She made a very good point- what's the harm in doing it? I mean, it can't make the headaches worse and even if it doesn't help me remember anything, maybe getting things off my chest could help in some way. Therapy was uneventful, not like much happens in a week, just the usual work stuff mostly. Though I have started going out after work a bit more often, even if it's just to a local shop or to grab a bite to eat. Dr. Daman suggested a few months back that I socialize a bit more, and it's been kind of nice. Weird, but nice. I've mostly stuck to myself outside of work, honestly. Well, besides those community events that you're basically ostracized if you don't attend or you get bombarded with those calls of “where were you last night? We were so worried about you, are you okay?”, even if you don't remember giving them your number. I like to go to a restaurant in town called the Royal Cow, they make the best in-house ice cream. They built it to look like one of those red farm houses which matches most of the buildings in town, but their mint chocolate chip ice cream is basically the best ice cream I've ever had. They also make really, really good sugar cream pie. Get it when it's still fresh, it's a little warm, melts in the mouth. I mean it basically cures any hankering for a sweet tooth. So that's what I ordered- a fresh slice of sugar cream pie. But that was my dessert. They do also have some pretty good not-sweet foods. Their lunch menu is alright but their breakfast food is really where it's at. And they do that breakfast all day thing, so I got their breakfast platter which is really, really good food.

On my way home, I bumped into Darius. He's the son of some local farmers in town. His dads have an apple orchard, on top of everything else. The Enclosure actually keeps tabs on their farm, because no matter what his dad John plants, apples always grow. I mean no matter what John plants. He could plant pumpkin seeds in the fall but no apple trees are gonna spring up and I'll be damned if those aren't the best apples. I mean sometimes crab apples grow instead, he can't really control what kind of apples grow, but John has found a way to make crab apples into really good apple pies and ciders and stuff. I've heard they make good jams and jellies, but he perfected a crab apple pie. He said it's “just a lot of love” but I think there's something with those apple trees. But again, not my department to figure it out. Darius and I made small talk. The weather, mostly. So mostly just complaining about how it wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't so humid or if we just had a nice breeze, but the shade does help. He always makes excuses to talk to me. I'm not complaining, but that does seem to be a thing around town is everyone makes excuses to talk to everybody. Like the one time that Holly stopped me in the middle of the road to chat when we were passing each other. It's a community norm, I guess, but Darius always wants to talk again. I'm not complaining, he's a really nice conversational partner we can chat about just about anything with certain obvious restrictions. He knows I work at the Enclosure, but folks in town seem to think it's some hoity-toity but shady government job. I don't really think we're tied to the government, per se, but whatever lie they've told the towns is just what I stick with. Whether or not they believe that is entirely another story. He knows I'm a scientist, but he thinks i'm more of an environmental natural scientist instead of a supernatural scientist. I guess whether or not he believes that is an entirely other story too, but we don't really talk about work much. On my end I don't bring it up and while he does talk about working on the family farm from time to time, especially because they expect for him to take over, he tries to find other things to talk about. He's gone back to school recently. They recently in town set up a sort of trade school, I guess, where if anyone's considered a master in town they can teach classes to teach other people in whatever skills they have to share. Seems Darius is taking a bit of a Home Ec class, I guess, sewing and cooking and things like that. He said that he's great with his hands in the field but he really wants to round out his hand skills. He then awkwardly chuckled after that but I don't understand why. I mean it's completely respectable to want to be able to stitch up your own clothes or actually have a nice dinner besides the reheated leftovers left on your doorstep or to know what to do when your microwave catches fire. Honestly, I don't really know what all they teach in those classes. I'd never even heard of something like a Home Ec class until Darius told me about it. I wonder if I ever took one. If i wasn't so busy with work I would actually look into taking classes. I like to learn and Darius even said that he'd be more than happy to help me with anything if I needed it which is nice. But I'm a really fast learner. I actually get bored a lot because of it. I don't see why anyone would need five months or years of training or educating. No, I can see why. I also just know that I am the anomaly. When I forgot everything and had to relearn how to read I was at a 10th grade reading level. By what, just a few weeks? And then I was at college level again in a matter of a month. But even though I was relearning stuff quick I never remembered anything. I never remembered books I've read before the incident, I never remembered learning how to read the first time, I just was quickly relearning how to read. I don't even know if you would consider remembering how to read. I mean I'm never remembering anything. I don't even remember the creature that I was working with in the incident. And no one will tell me anything, because they said they want me to remember organically, or something like that. They said they feared something like a trauma, whiplash? I really don't understand it and it just pisses me off more than anything. But Dr. Daman won't budge. No one will let me look over any files of the incident or files on the other lab techs who died. They slapped this key around my neck and said, “here, to keep your brain in check. Oh, you literally remember nothing? Well tough luck, see this therapist and see what happens!” Ugh. They said if it weren't for my weird powers then the incident would have killed me too. They said they don't know why I have this ability to rebound from death like it nearly never happened but they sure are willing to use my ability for work.

Right, the key. Uh, when I woke up the first thing the doctors did was have me wear it around my neck. It’s on some sort of sturdy red cord. I've never taken the thing off in years. You would think that it may have faded a bit or that the cord would have worn, but no. Cord is still sturdy and the key is just as shiny as the day they gave it to me, which isn't that shiny, it was a bit tarnished already, but hasn't gotten any more tarnished. It's supposed to keep my brain in check after the effects of, well, the incident. Dr. Daman says that if I take it off, I risk unlearning absolutely everything that I've learned in the last two years. I don't know why the key is supposed to be the thing that does this, but this is the only time that death has ever made me lose everything, so I figured what's the harm in wearing it. Not like it hurts to wear or anything.

Darius has asked me about it before though. Not when we first met or anything but after multiple times of running into each other he finally asked. I get asked about it a lot but I just say that it's a familial trinket and they tend to just leave it be. But darius had asked after we'd shared a few drinks at a local bar and even though I have a bit of a high tolerance for alcohol and never stay drunk long, he seemed to ask at just the right moment for me to open up a bit more, I guess. I said it's a comfort item, which I guess isn't exactly the whole truth, I actually honestly hate this thing. A constant reminder of all the things that I've forgotten. But I guess there's slight comfort and knowing that because of this key everything that I've relearned will stick. They say it's important to understand all that you don't know, but I know all too well that I've got at least 20 years of things that I don't remember. But hey, with this key I guess i can rebuild that. I must have seemed uncomfortable about this question where he was satisfied with that answer because Darius let it go after that, but I catch him staring at it sometimes. He's asked what I know about skeleton keys, and all things considered I didn't know much, at least didn't remember. He told me that his dads both told him about the powers that keys hold, not just to lock things but even more importantly to unlock them. That a skeleton key could lock or unlock any door to a given building, no matter what other keys people had, commonly used by cleaners and inn owners and stuff like that. He really seems fixated on the idea and I guess the symbolism is a bit striking with my current situation considering... whatever. The less he knows the better. It would be nice to talk to someone outside of the enclosure about more personal stuff from time to time but I can't go around spilling secrets.

Right, my day. Uh, lunch, talked with Darius, uh... after about 15 minutes of “all right I should get going”-s and taking a few steps apart, starting to have talked about other topics and repeating the process, I finally started home. On my way home I drove past some corn fields and various other pastures. The Enclosure gave me a house near the edge of town because after a year of rigorous relearning I didn't want to live in their communal housing anymore. It's not too far from Darius's family orchard and farm which is nice. Nicest farm in the area, in my opinion. There's no real rivalry between the farmers, at least nothing too intense. But something about those trees in the distance out of my window is really relaxing. All the cattle I passed on my way home had moved to face the same direction near the fences and stared into the distance mindlessly grazing. That and the clouds rolling in were very strong indicators that there was going to be a heck of a storm tonight. I didn't listen to the weather announcement this morning but the sky's only gotten darker now so i'm ready to sleep like the dead tonight. But when I was pulling into my driveway I saw something rustling in the bushes by my front door. I thought maybe it was a squirrel or a rabbit or something but then two tiny hands parted the leaves and I saw one of those black-eyed children just sitting there staring at me. I normally only see them at night. I guess it was waiting for me to come home to loiter on my doorsteps or something, I don't know. When I got out of the car I was surprised when it actually climbed out of the bush and just rigidly stared at me with those lifeless black eyes. I got my stuff out of my car and made my way to the door, but it was kind of standing in the way. I just slid on by it with a muttered apology and slipped inside before I could start whispering requests for entrance. Never making that mistake again. No matter how much I want to let them in my house got all sorts of messed up last time and I got a heck of a scolding at work when they found out. I don't shoo them away, but I don't let them in anymore. It was really weird, they normally only come knocking or waiting by the sides of the road at night, I had never seen one in the middle of the afternoon. Once I got settled in I pulled out a book, a crossword book I was gifted at the last community bonfire. I blow through these things really fast but I really like them, so Christine gave me like five of them, all different, claimed that she found the most difficult ones that she could find, which is really sweet. She even wrote little notes on the inside cover of each of them so I've ended up actually keeping them when i'm done so I can reread her notes when I need a little pick-me-up. Whether a crossword book or a little box of treats she always writes uplifting notes and anecdotes inside any gifts she gives anyone, all signed with the most beautiful cursive- “with love, Christine Torres”. She really mothers everyone in town, at least that's what I've noticed. This one is a real toughy, which I like. That's mostly what I've been up to since I got home. I decided that I'd take a break from doing, well, this. Dr. Daman was adamant about me giving it a shot so here we are. Me, myself and I. Oh sorry, hold on, work email. (Whispered: who am i even apologizing to?) Well now, wait a minute. A new lab partner? Dr. Gia Castillo. Why the hell did they give me a new lab partner? I guess I'm meeting her in the morning. I hate it when Todd pulls this, but I’ve got no say in the matter. The usual. But I hate sudden change.

I'm tired, I'm reheating some food Mrs. Weddington gave me and going to bed. I can hear the thunder starting to get louder and that kid outside tapping on my door so I guess I should try and get some sleep. Guess I'll talk to you later? This is actually kind of nice, saying whatever I want without worries. (little laugh) I'm already dreading tomorrow. Well this is Dr. Jared Hel, signing off, I guess.

[tapping sounds, and sounds of thunder, as we fade into the outro]

OUTRO

Jar of Rebuke is written and produced by Casper Oliver, who is also the voice of Dr Jared Hel. The intro is read by Vanessa Rosengrant, and credits are read by Ashley Craft, who has also created the podcast official graphics. Music was created by Luke Menniss, spelled m-e-n-n-i-s-s, who you can find and support on Bandcamp, Spotify and Twitch. Find us on Twitter, Instagram and anywhere else you get your podcast fix for more Jar of Rebuke and also to get updates on upcoming official merch for our show. Support projects by this crew on Patreon to further other queer-lead projects and get neat perks. All donations are appreciated and will grant further clearance to special Jar of Rebuke content. You can also make one-time donations on Ko-fi.

#jar of rebuke #jar of rebuke podcast #jor podcast #jar of rebuke transcripts

10 notes · View notes

shewhowantsmouseears · 6 years ago

Note

If you’re still taking requests, something from the weblena red riding hood au?

Sorry this took forever and a half to get to. Decided to go with “first meeting”!

If things had ever gone easy in Lena'slife, well, she doubted it would be her life at all – nothing hadever gone easy for her from the moment she was born, even when shemade every effort to be lazy and slide through difficult situations.Sometimes she wondered if she had a past life where she did somethingso bad that she had to make up for it in this one – it was easierto think that, then believe she was hated and ostracized for no goodreason at all, as if her very existence was a curse upon the pack.

She thought about this now as she stoodin the tree, looking down at the innocent villager who was casuallystrolling through the dark woods. Lena had yet to take a life, whichwas one of many things the pack leader, her aunt, criticized herover. But now here was the perfect victim in Lena's clutches – alittle girl, probably younger than Lena herself, all alone andlooking like she couldn't hurt a fly. If Lena couldn't chow down onthis delicate flower, maybe her next life would be screwed up too.She moved along the tree branch, inspecting her future meal.

The little girl suddenly stopped,blinked, and then looked right in Lena's direction. Looking back atthis moment later, Lena would realize this was the first sign thatthe little girl was more than she appeared, but here and now sheassumed she must have made some sound she didn't notice. Fine by her– stealth had never been her specialty. So she took a jump, landinga good distance away from the other girl, and then calmly brushedherself down, as if not having noticed anyone at all.

The little girl, dressed in a red hoodand holding a wicker basket in her tiny hands, raised her eyebrows.“You're a wolf!”

“A+ detective skills there, chief.”Lena replied, inspecting her claws. “You're in the woods. What wereyou expecting?”

The girl glanced up, mentally debatingthis, then nodded once. “Well, I wouldn't like any trouble today,miss wolf. I'm going to my Granny's house. I've got some stuff todeliver – pastries, breads, jams, those funny cheeses that smellbad but taste good-”

“Tell me your whole life story whileyou're at it.” Lena replied, rolling her eyes.

��Oh, okay, um, my name is WebbigailVanderquack, but my granny calls me Webby, and I was born on a sunnyday in the middle of-” She stopped abruptly, holding up a finger.“Ah. Sarcasm. I have not mastered that yet. Sorry.”

Lena wasn't a master killer like therest of the pack, but she could pick up clues when she wanted – andthis Webby was clearly in desperate need of companionship, someone totalk to, even if it was a complete stranger and a wolf. She continuedto look and clean her claws, putting on an air of boredom. “Yourgranny must be pretty important if you're traveling through the woodsfor her.”

The hook worked, and Webby lit up likea campfire. “Oh, Granny's the best! I haven't seen her in ages, butshe's nice and warm and has taught me a whole bunch of stuff and Ireally hope she likes the stuff I'm bringing...” She trailed off,realizing how much of a delay this chitchat was making. “Speakingof, I'd probably better get going, she might get worried if I'm notthere on time.”

“Go for it,” Lena said, not oncelooking up. “If those pastries are all you're going to bringher.”

Webby had made it two steps beforestopping glancing back, surprised. “Huh? What do you mean?”

“Hm?” Only now did Lena lookWebby's way, as if none of this had been intentional at all. “Oh,well, I was just thinking... eh, what do I know? I'm just a wolf.”She shrugged, and began to walk in the opposite direction.

“Wait, wait, wait!” Webby jogged upto her side, and upon closer inspection, Lena could see that thisgirl had big eyes, wide as saucers and full of naive innocence.“What's wrong with bringing my Granny this stuff? It's what shelikes.” Yet even as she tried to defend herself, her voice betrayedher worry, fingers nervously squeezing the basket's handle.

Lena clicked her tongue and exhaleddeeply. “Well...” She drew out the word, testing Webby'spatience. “If I was bringing a gift to someone I cared about, Iwouldn't just get them something anyone in the village could gettheir hands on. Me? I'd add a little something special, something noteveryone could get.”

Webby frowned, brows furrowed. “Likewhat?”

The wolf gestured to a darker path downin the woods. “There is this special patch of the most beautifulwildflowers that most villagers don't even know about. Completelygorgeous, if you're into that sort of thing.”

And judging from Webby's interest, hereyes widening and sparks of imagination fluttering within, she wasvery much into that sort of thing. Yet there was still a beat ofhesitance, as she took a look back where she'd been originallywalking towards. “I don't know...” She said quietly, biting downfor half a second. “Granny told me to never stray from the path ifI've got a destination.”

“Suit yourself.” Lena began walkingon again. “Shame that your Granny doesn't really trust you to takecare of yourself.”

Hook, line, sinker – Webby wasimmediately at Lena's side again. “She trusts me! She taught meeverything she knows! She wouldn't let me go into the woods at all ifshe didn't trust me!”

Lena almost felt sorry for how easilyWebby was made into a mark. It was a wonder she lived this long amongregular people, who Lena knew would betray one another for a singlecoin. Maybe if was for Webby's own good she'd be snuffed out earlybefore someone worse came along. “Hey, that's great. It's reallynot that far ahead, and picking a few flowers will just take a coupleof seconds. You'll be seeing your Granny before sunset.”

Webby relaxed a little, and flashed acute smile that Lena was certain would win the hearts of man andwoman alike once she got older – though maybe it did a handy jobfor the boys and girls of now anyway.

At the very least, Lena had told thetruth about the path of wildflowers – it was big, beautiful andspacious, resting underneath golden sunlight and creating a field ofrainbows on blissful days like these. Lena often used this patch as agood spot to nap, away from the pack and all its troubles. It seemeda sin to taint such a lovely place with her upcoming crime, but allgood things must come to an end. Lena was supposed to grow up and bea real wolf, one that didn't care for flowers and beauty and only didwhat was good for the pack.

Webby let out a gasp and a squeal atthe same time, which Lena found odd but hilarious. “OH MY GOSH ITREALLY IS PRETTY!” She dove right into the patch, giggling wildlyas she ran her fingers over soft petals and new smells. She kneltdown and placed her basket aside, hands wiggling as she struggled todecide what to talk. “Granny's going to love these!” But beforeshe plucked a single one, she placed her hands on her lap and turnedher head back enough to flash another sweet little smile. “Thanks,miss wolf!”

Lena blinked rapidly, the word soforeign it took a good minute to understand what had been said –wolves never thanked one another, they merely obeyed and it wasunderstood. “Oh. Uh. Yeah, sure, whatever.” Webby turned herattention back to the flowers, and Lena ran a hand down her face.This kid was too nice for her own good. She trusted a wolf? Thanked awolf? Maybe this Granny had sent out Webby to get killed, and Lenadidn't think this was unusual at all. People betrayed people all thetime for their own needs and wants, and family didn't make a lick ofdifference.

Webby had begun humming a simplemelody, deciding to tie together flowers of different colorstogether. Lena wiped her mouth with the back of her arm, settlinginto her choice. Sorry, Red she thought to herself. Survivalof the fittest out here. One good chomp to the neck would endthings quickly, and she slowly, quietly, began to advance upon Webby,her claws sharp in the sunlight, fangs glistening. Webby had one handon the flower crown, the other reaching into the basket, probablygrabbing a quick bite to eat, if Lena had to guess. She hoped Webbyenjoyed her last meal, and raised one hand high, ready to seize her -

Only to find a butterfly knife ever soserenely placed against her throat, Webby holding it to Lena'sthrobbing vein without looking back. “Maybe if you hadlistened to my life story,” Webby said, her voice never losing anysugar or honey, “You'd realize I wasn't born yesterday, miss wolf.”

#ducktales2017 #weblena #webby vanderquack #lena de spell #fanfic #Anonymous

30 notes · View notes

tiergan-vashir · 6 years ago

Text

@aegirward

I wanted to address some things about your reply to me, but all of it was quite long, so to spare everyone’s dashboards, I’m just going to leave a link here for them to read it, as well as @friendly-fire-engaged‘s response to you.

There's a lot of misinformation here to unpack, so let me just start from the top:

Sorry if I wasn’t clear in my previous reply. I didn’t mean I was wary that Sylb specifically had photoshopped screenshots. I had become wary in general after being burned once.

Whether you were wary in general or wary against Sylb specifically is completely irrelevant. It doesn’t matter if it was Sylb in particular or any other woman on the planet. The fact of the matter is that when faced with a woman who presented you with screenshots of sexual harassment from man with a long established, self-admitted history of sexually harassing women - you still decided the screenshots might have been photoshopped.

That’s not ‘wariness’ - that’s a blatant denial.

You also seem to be extremely determined to paint a very benign picture of yourself in which your only two flaws when it came to Sylb and her harassment were:

You wanted to give Kale a second chance despite his history, because people had given you a second chance in the past.

You made a mistake and believed that Sylb must not have been suffering that badly, because she was willing to continue RPing with the group despite Kale’s presence.

There’s much more to it than that. You conveniently glossed over your most egregious, malicious behavior:

Despite how kind and accommodating you were to Sylb’s face, you were actively sabotaging her to other people behind her back.

You made the conscious, willful choice to not only buy into the idea that Sylb may have photoshopped the screenshots and that she must not have been suffering all that badly because she was still RPing with EA, but that Sylb was the one who wronged Kale and that other, completely uninvolved people needed to be convinced of this as well. You held up a double standard where it was okay to trust Kale despite his past, but Sylb was not trustworthy from the beginning.

Here are some screenshots from @diskwrite-ffxiv’s post which show you driving a wedge between AMoB and FLEET by bringing up Sylb out of the blue in AMoB’s moderator chat and intentionally mischaracterize her to Renata and Berrod as someone who was just out to ostracize Kale.

https://imgur.com/a/i7SJjlq

The screenshots show you and Iota worked together to paint Sylb as someone trying to manipulate others into hating and shunning Kale. You brought up how Zheng ‘questioned her intentions’. You described her as someone who will “rant to anyone about Kale” - a falsehood I know is patently untrue. Sylb was extremely anxious and nervous about talking about her situation to anyone and didn't want to appear like she was trying to run Kale��s name through the mud.

She didn’t even bring it up to the majority of her own FC. Most of FLEET was in the dark all the way up until @diskwrite-ffxiv’s post was created. The only people who had in-depth knowledge that she was even suffering from anything were a small handful of her closest friends for support, the EA Mods she passed the document off to, and eventually Martin.

The screenshots also show you making the claim that she “copy/pasted her story about needing to block Kale and why to pretty much everyone” despite Sylb ONLY giving that document the EA Mods, Martin, and that handful of close friends she was going to for support. She went out of her way to specifically ask Iota not to share the document containing her request around to anyone outside of the EA mods without her permission first, as seen below:

https://imgur.com/a/4SHtSLd

All of this clearly demonstrates that contrary to what you claim, you actually very much did try to stop collaborations between AMoB and FLEET. You tried to convince Renata that Sylb was trying to smear Kale’s name and nearly succeeded in doing so. Renata herself admitted that as a direct result of this, she brushed off Sylb’s legitimate complaint. You smeared a woman’s name to people she didn’t know, because you and Zheng “questioned her intentions”.

In the next part of your reply, you’ve conflated two entirely separate events Sylb wanted to create: The FLEET-Resistance collab event and the Soldier’s Ball.

Your original reply to the ask mentions the FLEET-Resistance event Sylb wanted to create with AMoB. I was referencing this FLEET-Resistance event when I when I asked why it was suspect that a victim of sexual harassment wouldn’t want to create an RP event where she would have to be near the person who harassed her in the time immediately after she outright blocked him as opposed it being a completely sane and normal response from a victim of sexual harassment.

AMoB was not directly affiliated with EA. The FLEET-Resistance event was not an EA event. Kale, as a character, has nothing to do with FLEET and the Resistance. So why was it strange for a woman to want to exclude the man who made her uncomfortable in an event she was trying to collaborate on the day after blocking him?

Here are the screenshots of that conversation: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1l_kPtTU-YjJy335F1yB4KLyvFVaNbz2cr0xI2FCTU3U/edit?usp=sharing

You, her, Iota, Martin, and Zheng were all in a group chat together brainstorming. Sylb mentioned she didn’t really want a public event as she’d been hoping for more of a Maelstorm vs Resistance event and that it was too soon for certain characters to show up. Note how she went out of her way to avoid mentioning Kale and is wary of discussing her situation in front of someone who is not an EA mod until she is made aware that Zheng is already in the know. Notice how she finally agrees to open the event up further - just before Zheng insinuates she is spearheading a “Fuck Kale campaign”.

Another thing I want to point out is that Zheng never apologized to Sylb after that discussion for the “Fuck Kale campaign” comment and you did not provide a proper apology either. This wasn't a matter of “Golly! We thought Sylb must not have been suffering so badly, because she was still RPing with EA!” - this was a matter of you both explicitly not believing her and punishing her for it. As the AMoB mod channel screenshots clearly showed, you admit to questioning her intentions and actively worked to sabotage her.

The Soldier’s Ball is an entirely different event, and I notice that you have a very different timeline of events than what actually occurred.

At the time this conversation was going on, Sylb was still participating in EA events with Kale. If I remember right, it was shortly after the Ala Mhigan Ascension RP. I had not been told that she no longer wanted to do any event with Kale or have Kale at her other events.

Sylb said she would not work directly with Kale and that was the reason for not choosing him as a representive. But prior to that, she was in our group DMs with Kale helping plan for the ascension ceremony. That was the event where I offered to translate anything Kale said and pass it on to her, rather than have her be in the group chat, if that made her more comfortable.

So the situation perplexed me, because in my mind, she had just been dealing with Kale and this combination of choosing Raniall over Kale and Martin over Zheng seemed less about comfort and more about a decision that would make things awkward with Kale’s group.

I told her the situation made me uncomfortable, because it did. I was thinking of the impact it would have on the 4th. The position it would put Raniall in and what it might make the other 4th members think. I never told her not to do it, just that it wasn’t something I was comfortable with, so I wouldn’t be attending the event, but I WOULD make sure it was promoted in all the usual places. I didn’t think my lack of participation would matter ICly, because I was not RPing anyone needed for the event.

Firstly - the notion that “she no longer wanted to do any event with Kale or have Kale at her other events” is flagrantly untrue and easiest to disprove.

In the screenshot conversation with Iota I linked above where Sylb hands over her document to the mods to lay down her boundary with Kale, Sylb explicitly states: “I’ll continue to be polite to him in group channels and in voice chat, but I don’t want to have direct one on one contact with him anymore. I’m not asking the Eorzean Alliance discord mods (or anyone else) to take any sort of action against Kale. I’m just letting you know about this boundary that I’m establishing with Kale because it’ll likely impact the way that FLEET communicates with the rest of the EA group (as in, I’ll reach out to other GMs instead of Kale about stuff).”

This was copy-pasted word for word from the document that was shared with you and all the EA Moderators.

Secondly - the Ala Mhigan Ascension event happened in December, two months after Sylb had blocked Kale in early October and informed the EA moderators of her boundary. (Timestamps visible in the Discord screenshots where Sylb laid her boundary down.) By then you should have been more than well aware of it. There should have been nothing ‘perplexing’ about what was occurring.

Unless you did not care enough to read her document laying out her boundaries in its entirety when it was shared to you, you would know she was doing exactly what she’d stated her boundary was two whole months ago: cooperate politely with Kale in group chats, but bar him from talking to her in direct, one-on-one conversations.

Lastly - the most glaring mischaracterization you’ve written of everything surrounding the Soldier’s Ball is the idea that Sylb:

Uninvited Kale from the Soldier’s Ball.

“Sylb said she would not work directly with Kale and that was the reason for not choosing him as a representive”

Sylb was not selecting representatives - she was literally trying to get people to pick songs. She thought it would be nice to have a song for each Grand Company at the Soldier’s Ball, and was considering asking individuals from each Grand Company group to pick one. That’s literally it.

Here is your conversation with Sylb regarding Soldier’s Ball, where she is clearly discussing the selection of songs - not representatives: https://imgur.com/a/2ON3xLf

Because she did not want direct, one-on-one conversations with Kale as per her boundary, it only made sense for her to reach out to Raniall, Kale’s Second-in-Command, to get a Flames song. And because her last interaction with Zheng/Beowoad was him literally accusing her of launching a “Fuck Kale Campaign” (and even you mention in this exact conversation that Zheng ‘questioned her intentions’) - she understandably felt more comfortable reaching out to Martin to pick a song for the Resistance than Zheng/Beowoad. Yet she even offers to ask Zheng/Beo instead of Martin for the song if it too uncomfortable for you.

I will add that Martin was only initially uncomfortable with the Soldier’s Ball because you misled them entirely as to what the entire situation was even about. You provided them with a small section of the conversation, outside of its context and mischaracterized what Sylb wanted.

The rest of your reply to me is completely irrelevant, because it’s filled with baseless assumptions on what Sylb may have been thinking and more assertions that it was somehow “confusing” that she was still participating in EA events and working in group chats with Kale, but not in direct contexts despite you having knowledge of what her boundary was for months at that point.

All in all, your response here makes it clear that the public apologies written by you and Zheng are catered more toward damage control than actual reflection, assessment and change. Neither your apology or this post owns up to the fact you and Iota were kind to Sylb’s face, but actively slandered her as a person to other people behind her back. Neither your apology, Zheng’s, or this post owns up to the fact that you and Zheng went much further than simply assuming her situation was not as bad as it seemed - you both flat out didn’t believe her. You “questioned her intentions” and punished her for daring to lay her boundary down.

When asked to leave AMoB, Zheng tried to argue that G&G has dealt with four sexual harassment cases and one had an “issue that appeared to be a plot to discredit someone falsely.” (https://imgur.com/a/r08qz70) If it is not Sylb Zheng was referencing, then perhaps this other individual’s case should also be given a second look considering how poorly Sylb was treated.

Aegir, Instead of taking responsibility for the your true actions, you eagerly paint yourself as a man whose only flaws were that he miscalculated how serious the situation was and really wanted to believe in second chances. You talk repeatedly about how “confusing” Sylb’s behavior is to try and paint her inconsistent so your actions seem more excusable, while Sylb was doing exactly what she stated she was going to do to the EA Mods to keep herself safe. You present a timeline of events that is muddled and out of order to serve your own needs and place yourself in a more sympathetic light. A real apology doesn’t try to replace the other person’s story with your own reconstruction of events, rewriting what needs to be apologized for.

To put it bluntly, I question your intentions, Aegir.

Your apology, and by extension, Zheng’s apology as it contains much of the same face-saving “we misjudged how serious the situation was and thought the issue was minor because Sylb was still working with EA” language - won’t feel genuine by any stretch of the imagination until you own up to your true mistakes.

If you can’t admit to where you actually went wrong, how is anyone supposed to trust that this is more than a simple attempt at damage control? How are we supposed to believe that you and the rest of the G&G leadership have actually learned from this and will truly change?

#G&G #gold & glory #gold and glory #long post #drama #discourse

73 notes · View notes

unproduciblesmackdown · 6 years ago

Text

so being abused the entire first 2 decades of your life: what’s up with that? Night Posts Edition

- classic when finding some “uh oh relatable!” content abt various Disorderres and there’s some thing like “many symptoms overlap with ptsd” and it’s like ooh which one is applying to me?? i mean spoilers the idea that The Grouping Of Non Nt Traits And Experiences Into Distinct Classifications is not actually...an exact science and for all intents and purposes it makes no difference if i am going “oh god #me” at an informative post about adhd if actually its ptsd acting exactly the same anyways so. but yknow it’s wild n zany being like “am i overstepping my bounds b/c this was caused by coping with trauma possibly? what audacity” and etc when it really....that doesnt matter....

- also ugh @ retaining things that downplay abusers’ responsibility for their actions (in specific things you’re personally dealing with, not like, as a general stance) and shift blame onto yourself like........you have to get so used to treating someone’s Abusive Behavior as something inevitable that you can’t ever expect them to stop doing, and thus pretty much considering someone abusive like a force of nature because they’re just gonna do what they’re gonna do whenever they next get Set Off rather than like.......a person who is responsible for their own behavior and in control of their own choices and like. especially zany when you’re a kid and they’re your parent so there’s the Power Imbalance of them being an adult and the other power imbalance of them being in control of your whole existence. but so like even just the other year i was taking the blame for calmly speaking back to a grownass man close to thrice my age raging at me and saying like, not verbatim but the idea of like “ugh i know it was partly my fault for even saying anything back to him because i knew he’d just continue to yell but unfortunately i just refuse to weather that kind of behavior without standing up for myself at all anymore” but like no!!!! that’s shifting all the responsibility for this other person’s behavior onto myself, like i Made him choose to shout at me at like 4am because he sucks and has some kind of superiority power trip issues. cuz i am well within rights to respond to anyone addressing me and it’s Not my fault at all that he chooses to react the way he reacts.

- also that i was ready to excuse my being blamed for this by others because they were closer to that person than they were to me and i was gonna be like “okay i Get wanting to defend someone who’s closer to you” but no!!!! actually!!!! i may get it but i don’t condone excusing anyone’s horrible behavior in the least just cuz you know them or they’re friends or family or something. in fact that’s terrible. i’m just primed to be Used To It because of the weird situation of parental abuse where there’s other people also trapped in this location and daily life with an abuser and if someone “causes” the abuser to start being shitty then they’ll get blamed / resented for that. me and my siblings seem more like friendly acquaintances b/c we had to be pitted against each other in these kinds of ways for eons until we were all in our teens and got some more Space and kind of realized that we weren’t each others enemies and got closer and my dumb little brother was old enough to stop being a whiny binch and Owed me for helping him with math hw over the phone from 2 hrs drive away lol.....jk, sort of.....we did get along great eventually but then i left thanks to said abuse and us talking via twitter isn’t at all the same as us being able to talk in person :/

- also one thing that sometimes Strikes me is that when i’m like blandly recalling incidents of abuse like “oh yeah, that time” it bothers me less to think about stuff that happened to me specifically than to think about times it was Other people who were being treated that way. the latter was always equally or probably more upsetting and it always felt just as bad in the moment anyways, there was no major distinction in the Abuse In Progress experience if it was directed mostly on you than on other people

- all my life i’ve also been super stubborn which never helped and even Abuse MaGee would have to try to get creative with Disciplinary Systems and there was this golden “punishment” which was eat dinner in your room by yourself and i was like oh my god can i really. the horror of Family Dinner was like, this dark comedic farce playing out in that house for all our lives. christ. speaking of being stubborn this one time my sister cut my toe with a knife (half accidentally) because i refused to stop swinging my legs despite her holding the knife under the table lol and i also refused to tell on her b/c we were All In This Together (that is, Us vs The Abuser, which always took precedence over any internal conflict in our faction lol)

- always remembering how my “’”””””””defining”””””””””” trait was always getting good grades except the only reason i ever felt this pressure was the time my sister caught shit for getting a C, and i wasn’t even getting A - F letter grades yet and was already like jfc guess i can’t like....get a single C ever.....the joke is i’ve always been a godawful student who hates school, i just also managed to get great grades fairly easily, b/c of the devil probably. i’m sorry

- love to wonder what interests i might have been able to explore if i didn’t want to hide anything i was genuinely interested in and other True Thoughts And Feelings from my ‘rents. who knows!!! even now i’m not sure what i like and my vague ideas about it are all mostly In Theory and i don’t have any hopes and dreams b/c of never being able to really consider my own interests and desires and also because when every day of your life is basically spent in survival mode about everything else, that’s not really conducive to having dreams and ambitions. see also: like, being really poor

- The Weird Experience when only one of your parents is abusive and the other parent is also experiencing spousal abuse and so like, even though they’re your parent, you know that they don’t really have equal power as the abusive one because they too are being abused? it’s a complicated thing b/c that’s how every individual experience with abuse is (complicated). and so you’ve got this bizarre situation where maybe someone cares about you but they can’t really protect you from this other person. and like, my dad is crap and in some areas even a crappier person than my abusive mom and also i hate him, but i only hate him for certain things lmao not for being abused or some ways he tried to deal with it. i know what’s trash and what’s not

- the zany experience of No One Will Help You Ever.....lucky for me i eventually figured out on my own that what i’d been living with all the time had actually been abuse for real all along! and yet still i knew that like, there wasn’t much i could immediately do with that information because..........yknow, what do you actually do. i was basically already 18, so. and even if i hadnt been. there’s nothing to do for it!! just sucks to be you, basically. but an exception is that when one day i texted my friend to ask if i might be able to leave my house overnight and crash at their family’s place for a little bit, their parents immediately were like Yes Of Course and they let me stay there for a week and were very nice about all of it. between them and the nice trans lady who gave me some more Housing Assistance by letting me stay in her spare room for like, most of december.....my Allies. plus someone who talked to me via online once i bailed on my ‘rents! if they read this they know who they are and they have continued to be so kind and generous ugh love and appreciate you

- god just individual occasions of “THIS bullshit that i went through this one time” of especially ridiculous incidents.....i could go on for eons

- sort of tangentially related and related to the first point but ugh specific memories of Moments In Which It Continued To Be Revealed To Me That I, Individually, Was Prone To Being Kind Of Socially Ostracized.....like my ass started noticing that shit as soon as i was around other kids aka preschool aka 4 yrs old.......like i’m usually somewhat withdrawn and cautious and quiet in social situations especially what with the association that “misbehaving” = trauma exposure so, yknow, that might be a way that you’re pressured into just keeping to yourself and keeping your head down. but talk about “i don’t really relate to other people my age” lmao like i always preferred interacting with adults really while by and large dealing with the other kids felt like a challenge that i was never gonna actually come out on top of and i still remember individual Efforts i’d make to ~fit in~ and Participate that just fell flat or got me actively excluded....Ugh City........and it’s like, i could make a list of Social Traits i think i have that help make it difficult for people to be interested in interacting with me, or “contribute” to those joyous occasions when you get to sit back and take in the thinly veiled contempt directed at you by various shitheads, but like, even that’s not really the right way to explain it. its kind of more a Greater Than The Sum Of Its Weird Parts sorta combined experience where i guess i just have this kind of Negative Je Ne Sais Quoi that gets ya the social brushoff / rejection. c’est ce que c’est. the joke is i actually like people and socializing In Theory, i just usually don’t get to do it. shoutout to the advanced relatability of alana calling everyone Acquaintances b/c i literally did/do that lmao......like are we friends if we don’t talk all that often? it’s part on me cuz i’m crap at being the person to initiate conversation cuz too often i assume i’d be an annoyance and also b/c conversation with me is like, not great lmao but still......ce’st l’a v’ie

anyways (clip from that fuckin song where it’s like WHO CAN RELATE lmao.mp3)

#long post //////#the entire first quarter (at least lol) of my life being Devastated By Abuse means i get to complain about it whenever i feel like it

13 notes · View notes

tumblunni · 6 years ago

Text

I had a kinda weird but nice daydream last night. It was more of a daydream cos i was concious enough for it to make a little sense, but also drowsy enough that its a bit more incoherant and Edgy than my usual oc thoughts

I just got the sudden strong imagery of a guy walking through a destroyed town and all the dead people blossoming back to life as he passes

And i kinda thought a backstory for him maybe? He's an alchemist who devoted himself so much to honing his craft that he used himself as a test subject for all the most dangerous and heretical experiments and is now barely human anymore. One detail i could remember is that he had empty eye sockets that glowed, and sometimes spurted out into huge gushing tendrils of blue flame that twined around his head and wiggled like antennae. They'd kinda replaced his entire nervous system so if he wiggled them he could just sense all the facts about an object. Spirit sight or something? And probably some cool singular claw arm in a lopsided frankenstein aesthetic or something. Basically he's nothing more than Pure Poison Itself vaguely wrapped in a human shell. Like an undead look but more like a boneless husk whose skin has turned to cracked porcelain.

The backstory behind him making so many sacrifices for science is that his mum died of the plague when he was a vvery young child and he wants to become the world's best doctor who can save everyone from meeting the same fate. And he actually achieved his goal of defeating death itself, even if all he could do was turn himself into such an abomination that he can never die. Now he's travelling the earth trying to save people even though theyre all scared of him, while also trying to figure out which mixture of the million experiments he did on himself finally achieved this result.

I think maybe he can sorta partially manage to ressurect people? Like they come back as ghosts or skeletons or vampires or something. And he's all weeping with guilt that he's sentenced them to the same monsterous life as him but then a little kid hugs him for bringing her mom back. *sniff*

Also i think maybe he has a kid sidekick that he's sorta adopted as a little sibling? They were one of his earlier attempts to raise the dead, and they got ostracized by their parents for being unholy and stuff. So he adopted them, but he's always trying to find another family that can adopt them cos he feels like he isnt good enough. Also, ghost dog!! He accidentally spilled his magically-charged abomination blood onto his childhood pet's ashes and it came back in a spooply form! I just imagined his sheer unrestrained joy and weeping as the lil guy immediately recognises its owner all grown up and jumps up all happy like YOURE TALL NOW HEY HEY LETS PLAY! This poor dude needs a little relief from his angsty life honestly. I imagine him just running around super 100% hyperactive happy with this little pupper and adoptive sibling who's never seen him not being grumpy and sad is like "oh my god he's been replaced by aliens"

ALSO!! I WAS THINKING!! YES!! THE MUM DOES COME BACK!!

I was thinking that probably using his imperfect ressurection power costs a lot of his energy and he has a problem with being so self sacrificing he always ruins his health for the sake of others. He's like 'well i cant stay dead so i may as well die as many times as possible to help people'. Him coming home riddled with arrows and collapsing into a bloody pile at his sibling's feet and then in the morning when he's still stuck in bed sleeping off the enormous pain he cant understand what his sibling is upset about. Like he has no value in himself because he's so guilty that he hasnt finished the ultimate panacea yet. Disregarding the fact that nobody even asked him to, and he's already done so much to help so many peopke!! TAKE CARE O YOU SELF, BRO!!

Anyway, where was i?

Oh yeah! Well i was thinking maybe he was doing some mass healing in a town somewhere. Cos oh yeah even his regular cures for stuff are still made with his own blood. He's like a walking vessel for every poison ever made in this world or the worlds beyond. ELDRITCH ASPIRIN MAN! oh actually it could be a cool aesthetic to have him all bandaged up like an edgy anime character

WHERE WAS I

Oh yeah! Well he's super mega exhausted from expending all of his magical energy and working until the crack of dawn. So he's stumbling home down the same usual route, but he passes out halfway there. And then he wakes up to see his mother tucking him into bed and bringing chicken soup. Like "I DUNNO IF IT WORKS FOR MAGICAL SICKNESS I AM VERY CONFUSED OKAY" Turns out that just by pure coincidence he'd accidentally found the spot where the mass grave for plague victims was made back in the day. And he's extra super mega sick now cos he subconciously reached out to their souls and ressurected them in his sleep. And he's just weeping so much cos he thought he'd never find her and he's guilty he subjected her to a life of being an undead monster too, and he's like 'dont look at me ive changed so much you must be ashamed' and just MAXIMUM EMOTION OKAY!! And also 'oof ouch my everything' cos flailing around panicness aint good in your condition, dude!

So big happysad reunion and him having the longest most peaceful nap he's had in years, lost in distant memories of her reading him bedtime stories as a child. (Maybe even wakes up as she's reading a bedtime story to little sib, and gets so emotional he wakes them up with his sobbing?) And its not all perfect, there's a bit of a rift in the way of just being perfevt family again cos well its been so long and he's grown up and its basically like meeting a new person and starting over. Yet also with all the pressure of knowing how things used to be and being terrified of messing up. ALSO there are like fifty other zombies walking around outside confused as fuck! I think maybe the mum becomes the new mayor of a weird little shanty town that springs up overnight and the neighbours are all like 'what do we do with suddenly acquiring a new trade route with another city state' and also 'AAA ZOMBIES'. Complex futures await out heroes! But i have faith that this little awkward family will make it work!!!

5 notes · View notes

sevendevons · 7 years ago

Text

Devon Edwenna Aoki is sitting on set, chatting on her cell phone and smiling. Nestled in a Mylar cocoon, she resembles a pop mini-Venus performing for an off-set Warhol "A lot of people say I always look like I'm wearing a frown, but its not a frown- it's just really the way my mouth is," explains this 18-year-old Japanese/German/English wunderkind. "Some mean journalist lady once said that my teeth must be really horrible because I never smile, but most of the time I'm just following designer's runway directions." Devon's mood rivals the brightly coloured sequins on the Chanel dress she is now modelling for today's photo shoot And her teeth are impeccable. When I jokingly inquire if she will be doing the Chanel show at the Paris couture next week, the girl who Karl Lagerfeld has pronounced the great beauty of the new century scoffs at my silliness "Uhhh, yeeeeeahh, I think I might be doing Chanel. Sure!"

Before Devon arrives for the shoot that day, there is an air of apprehension in the studio. Rumours have circulated that she, like Naomi Campbell, is a spoiled diva, prone to snapping at photographers or blowing off shoots altogether. Does she have a list of photographers she refuses to work with a la Faye Dunaway's model character in "Puzzle of a Downfall Child"? Would there be a frazzled, cell phone-ducking personal assistant in tow? I quiver with anticipation. When the five-foot-six beauty makes her rather punctual entrance in a pale blue wrap-dress from Fendi (one of her favourite labels) and tall heels, the effect is half-Amazonian, half-kewpie doll. Instinctively, she reacts to the room's nervous silence by circling the studio, pausing in front of a hammock that the stylist has filled with accessories from Chanel and O&G. She smiles approvingly. I approach her cautiously, as one would a fawn, and ask her what she's been up to. "I'm in the process of moving to New York from London, reorganizing and throwing away old junk: she tells me matter-of-factly before showing the makeup artist the problem areas on her face even though her skin appears to be impossibly flawless. As we begin the interview, I feel as if I've been reunited with a high-school pal. The disparaging rumours, like so many in the fashion world, appear to be unfounded. Devon is sweet and personable, possessing a breezy charm that immediately puts everyone at ease "I'm happy to be working for a lot of reasons, but one of the most important things for me is that new models who aren't so stereotypical are being used more and more now: she enthuses. "I'm very different, I don't fit into a genre. I have a quirky, strange look. I honestly believe that beauty is everywhere and you can't classify it or impose boundaries." When Devon stomps down a runway, childishly swinging her arms while wearing her famous Lolita-like pout, her impetuous demeanour rarely seems calculated. Like Alek Wek, Devon often transforms the mood of a fashion show, unwittingly adding a dash of irony by injecting a dissonant element, thrusting the whole event into quotation marks. This effect can also be attributed to her presence as an Asian-American woman in fashion On this subject, Devon is passionate. "I think it's really important to have Asian girls on the catwalk- it changes the face of fashion, diversifies it, stretches the boundaries and creates more possibilities for what can be beautiful. It's amazing to see a black girl on the cover of American Vogue, and it will be just as amazing to see an Asian girl on the cover!" When I express how nice it would be to see Devon Aoki on the cover of American Vogue she playfully tries to downplay her enthusiasm. "Yeah, that would be amazing too: she grins.

Devon speaks with unequivocal praise for her father, Rocky Aoki, the Japanese entrepreneur who moved to America after WWII and started the famed restaurant chain, Benihana. "My dad was the first huge Japanese success in America," she says, beaming. "When he first came over to America he had it really tough This was right after Pearl Harbor and the war, so you can just imagine! He had to deal with losing everything after the bombing in Japan and coming to America and being completely ostracized because of his colour, his race. Being a Japanese man in America was incredibly difficult because people often end up generalizing and blaming you for things that you're not responsible for. But my father never let it bother him. He has such an amazing story to tell" Rocky also owned a nightclub in New York called Genesis and it was there that he met Devon's mother, an American from a blue-collar background whose family emigrated from Britain and Germany. After Devon was born in New York, her family moved to Malibu, California, where she spent most of her childhood. Being in touch with her heritage is important to her and she has visited both Kyoto and Osaka in Japan many times. "1 try to embrace my culture and all the traditions of my family," she says. "It's very important for me as a person to learn about where my family comes from." Not surprisingly, another topic Devon is fond of is clothing "One of my little secrets is that I go on eBay - it's so addictive! I just bought a great gunnysack and some cool 70s stuff:' And what does she think of the recent fad of recycling clothing i.e. Imitation of Christ et al ? "If you apply it to environmentalism, I think it's a good thing. On the other hand, you can't really beat a Chanel dress or a great Fendi handbag" Her passion for fashion has led her to design her own line, Devon Jeans, which should be in stores in the not-so-distant future. "I want to do couture jeans with a great fit that also have crazy embroidery, different kinds of embellishment. We're incorporating the whole Oriental thing with kimonos and things like that too." So between dominating the runways of Paris, London, New York, and Milan, appearing in oodles of ad campaigns and editorial spreads, and now launching her own fashion line, it seems the super-mini-model has the fashion world in the grip of Devon-Mania So what is her prediction for the future of Asian people in fashion? "1 think, little by little, Asians are taking over the world." And she's not kidding.

from shoot of westeastmagazine

#interview

4 notes · View notes

the-novelwriter · 8 years ago

Text

RED.

By: Sherrieff Farrakhan

“MEOW.”

I looked up from carving my pumpkin to see what Mr. Drogo wanted. He always wanted attention when my hands were messy.

“What do you want now Mr. Drogo?”

“MEOW.”

He jumped up on the kitchen counter sniffing the innards of the pumpkin that I had just disemboweled, and that’s when I realized I hadn’t fed him yet and it had been almost twelve hours since the last time he had eaten. I walked over to the cabinet and took out a can of wet cat food. I remember when I first got him. He was the cutest little tiger striped orange kitten with blue eyes that I had ever laid eyes on. The rest of his litter had been sold and for some reason no one wanted him. He was my perfect pet though.

“Here you go baby, mommy’s sorry she’s been neglecting you today.”

I put the food in his bowl, gave him a pat, and resumed my pumpkin carving extravaganza. Halloween was one of my favorite holidays, mostly because I loved the smell of the crisp air and the mirage of colors produced by the annual death of trees. It was like the unofficial official start of Autumn. I also liked that I could be anyone but myself one day out of the year with no questions asked. It made being a plain Jane so much more tolerable, and the look on people’s faces when they saw me dressed in my sexy, insert profession here, costume was to die for.

Once I finished with my third pumpkin, an angry faced one, I took them outside and lit them. I took a deep breath and looked down at my works of art. They looked like a depressed boy band on the verge of a split. I giggled to myself and walked back inside, feeling my phone vibrating in my pocket. I washed my hands and checked it, almost missing the call.

“Hello?”

“Hey girl, me and Mark will be there in an hour at about eight-ish, I got the liquor and the Maryjane!” Nicki laughed, putting emphasis on the last word like I was too anal to know what she meant.

“Okay cool, let me clean this place up, I got pumpkin guts everywhere.”

“Alright, see you in a few!”

I hung up the phone and immediately got to cleaning. I hated having people over when my apartment was dirty, it was just a bit too small for extra people and mess. Four hundred square feet of space is just enough to have about two guests and a cat. I looked around my small apartment, the used brown couch and chair that came with it looking like they belonged to a grandparent from two generations ago. The cheap coffee table and end table set a little shinier than it should have been. It was a bit run down but it was mine. I had lived in it for two years now and I loved it.

“MEOW.”

“I know boy, just have to make sure everything is clean,” I responded to him. I hated making him uncomfortable, but sometimes I had too. He hissed and ran into my bedroom when I turned the vacuum cleaner on.

***

“Girl I cannot believe you got another picture printed out of you and that cat, we are in college and you’re already an old cat lady,” Nicki said.

“Oh, girl leave her alone, he’s the only male affection she has,” Mark chimed in. They both erupted into laughter. I don’t know if it was actually funny or if it was the weed, but we laughed for a few good minutes before I finally had a comeback.

“This is coming from a guy who hasn’t had a date since freshman year,” I responded with a sarcastic smile. “Your love life is about as dry as mine.”

He rolled his eyes and took another hit from the bowl. Me, Nicki, and Mark had been friends since freshman year of college, and we were now seniors. We had had our fair share of ups and downs but at the end of the day it made our relationship stronger. People always wondered how a black inner-city Chicago girl, became friends with me, an uptight white girl from Ohio, and Mark a flamboyant gay Asian boy from California. Nicki would defend our friendship with a ferocity whenever people asked her why she was friends with us. which happened a bit more often than I’d like to admit.

“Because they are genuinely amazing people! It’s extremely small minded of you to think that I can’t relate to people of different cultures!” She yelled at one of her other acquaintances one day while we were out at a bar. His eyes got big and he made his way to a different crowd, not ready to face her wrath.

Me and Mark were quiet with awkward grins frozen to our faces. She looked over at us.

“I absolutely hate when other black people act like I can’t be friends with you guys because of my background, yes I’m a little hood but I am smart as hell…” She said to us as her eyes drifted to the floor. “I really care about you guys.”

“Girl we love you, fuck what small minded people have to say. We are sugar, spice, and everything nice honeeey,” Mark said to her with a level of sass that could only be topped by hers. We both laughed and gave her hugs to reassure her of our friendship. I knew she loved us, but I sometimes felt bad because her own community was a bit ostracizing

“Girl those pumpkins look like us when we’re mad at each other,” Nicki said interrupting my daydream.

“Can I hit that one more time?” I asked, reaching for the weed. “I didn’t think about it but yes they do!” I laughed almost choking on the smoke.

“Oh, I see someone is trying to get turnt up in here tonight,” responded Nicki with a smile.

“Well since midterms are over, I thought why the hell not?” I laughed. “You want me to make us some drinks?”

“Yaaaas!” Mark responded with his famous spirit fingers, the glitter paint on his nails sparkling in the dim overhead light.

“Just for the dramatics you get water,” I teased as I got up from the table.

“I have something to show you guys,” Mark said when I came back from mixing our drinks.

He was sitting there, holding his book bag with a big mischievous smile on his face. I never knew what to expect from him. He was the most unpredictable friend in our group, but it made things more exciting for the most part. Planning random road trips, throwing surprise parties, showing up to his friends’ houses without fair warning. He was the full package.

“So, I went to visit a psychic yesterday to get my readings, and well I saw this old spell book and asked her if I could buy it from her, you know? Something spontaneous and creepy,” He reached into his bag pulling the book out. “She was reluctant at first, but after about fifteen minutes of warning me of ‘dark powers’ she sold it to me for $100. Of course, I had to convince her that I wouldn’t utter a word from the book aloud before she let me leave.”

The book was leather bound but looked like it had been through some rough days in its lifetime. He shuffled through it revealing missing and stained pages.

“You think my black ass is about to play with a spellbook?” Nicki questioned, moving her chair away from the small round table. “Especially one that you were specifically warned not to read from, Oh hell no!”

I laughed, finding myself drawn to the book. The alcohol and weed were really starting to kick in now and I felt in the mood for something spooky. I didn’t really believe in magic and spirits, so I didn’t care about the psychic’s warning.

“Let me see,” I said taking the book from Mark.

I flipped through the pages, not recognizing the language at all. I found a short spell and thought I would give Nicki a scare, I did owe her for making fun of me and Mr. Drogo. I recited the words in my head once before trying them out loud.

“Zü-rad fres-ah dor-ium khalê—”

“Oh, hell no bitch, stop!” Nicki tried snatching the book, but I moved away and stood up. I began again.

“Zü-rad fres-ah dor-ium khalê morti-ūn sherán”

I repeated it three times while running from Nicki, who unsuccessfully attempted to take the book. I eventually came back to the table and sat, out of breath. Mark had been laughing the whole time watching the two-woman production we had just performed. Nicki, on the other hand, looked visibly bothered.

“I’m sorry, I had to get you back for making fun of me and Mr. Drogo,” I said.

“Girl whatever, you know I don’t like that spooky shit. I need a shot,” She got up from the table and went into the kitchen to get more vodka.

“I wonder what it means,” said Mark, while looking over the page. “I’m going to google it.”

I suddenly started to feel uneasy and light headed. It was like the weed and vodka had started to hit me full force.

“I feel kind of light heade—”

***

“Shannon, Shannon,” I heard their voices calling out to me.

I opened my eyes and for a few seconds I couldn’t see anything. Eventually my eyes adjusted, and I saw Mark and Nicki standing over me.

“Girl what the fuck!?” Nicki half asked half screamed. “What happened?”

“I feel okay I just think I over did it on the weed,” I tried to explain.

I was a lot more scared than I let on. I had never passed out before, it makes your body feel so weak when you come back to consciousness. I was also nervous because smoking and drinking had never made that happen before.

“That has never happened to me before, maybe I shouldn’t have mixed the two,” I muttered. “I need some water.”

“Hold up Shan, I’ll get it for you,” Mark said, stopping me from getting up from the couch. Shan was a nickname they used every now and again.

“Did you look up the spell?” I asked him when he came back.

“I didn’t have time, you scared the shit out of me. You were only out for like 45 seconds, but still,” He said as he took out his phone to search the spell.

“Are you sure you’re okay? I can take you to the hospital, if you want?” Nicki asked.

“Thanks, Nic, but I think I’ll be fine just have to let myself come dow—”

“It says here that the spell is one that Satanists used back in the day to conjure parasitic demons,” Mark interrupted. “What the fuck is a parasitic demon?” He asked to no one in particular.

“Can you please stop talking about it?” Nicki asked him with the utmost sincerity. I don’t think I had ever seen her look so scared and worried. She was not lying when she said she hated spooky stuff.

“Okay after this last thing. It says that parasitic demons possess their host and make them kill other living beings and then themselves as an offering to Satan,” He Informed. “How could anybody believe this shit?” He rolled his eyes and put his phone in his pocket.

“I don’t believe it, but it is very creepy,” I responded.

Suddenly, I felt my right eye starting to twitch. I excused myself to go to the bathroom to look in the mirror feeling slightly dizzy when I stood up. The way my apartment was set up the bathroom was located in my bedroom. On my way in I looked around for Mr. Drogo who I had not seen since my friends had arrived, he was probably under my bed. I looked into the mirror and noticed that there was a black speck on my eyeball. I blinked several times trying to see if it would move but to my surprise it gradually got bigger. Fear seeped into my chest as I watched the speck grow from the size of a pen mark to the size of a dime.

“You guys!” I screamed out to them. “Somethings wrong with my eye!”

They appeared in the doorway of the bathroom. They both shared similar looks of concern that immediately turned to surprise and fear when I turned to show them my eye.

“Oh my god, what the fuck is that?” Nicki whispered as she got closer. “It looks like its spreading.”

“Maybe you burst a blood vessel?” Mark tried to console.

“Blood is red Mark! This is fucking black!” I responded feeling myself becoming livid. Not at him just in general more than likely from the panic I was experiencing. I looked back in the mirror and noticed that most of the white of my eye was now black. It was even starting to spread onto the blue of my iris.

“Woah Shan, calm down girl, he’s just trying to help. I think we should go to the hospital now,” Nicki Said, “This looks serious.”

I watched my eye turn completely black and couldn’t help but cry. I sat down on the toilet seat and sobbed for a few minutes. They stood there like two concerned parents waiting for their child to get out of surgery.

“MEOW.” Mr. Drogo walked into the bathroom and brushed against my leg purring, also trying his best to reassure me that things would be okay.

KILL HIM.

“Did you guys hear that?” I looked up at them, startled.

“I know, his little purring is so cute,” Nicki responded with a fake smile trying to suppress her fear.

KILL HIM!

I looked at them just as confused as they looked at me. There is no way they didn’t hear that deep voice. Then it occurred to me that I was probably possessed. I didn’t believe in demons until the moment I heard that voice. My fear took over.

“I need to go to a church guys,” I said, “I’m hearing voices, and I think I may be possessed. What if the spell was real? Oh my god!” I let out another sob my body shaking from nervousness. I stood up and looked in the mirror again. My right eye was completely black now, and I saw another speck forming in my left eye.

“I think that’s a good idea,” Said Nicki, looking extremely uneasy her hands starting to shake as well. “I’ll get your shoes.”

Mark hadn’t said a word since I snapped at him, but his eyes said everything. Expressing fear and concern. I was shaking now profusely now. My fear turning to horror. The splotch on my left eye was now dime sized.

KILL HIM!!!

I let out a cry of fear. Not knowing what the hell was going on, my hand clutching my chest.

“Can we hurry up please?” I asked. “The voice is getting louder!”

I looked down at Mr. Drogo who was looking up at me with his little blue eyes. I felt my face curl into a smile.

“Shannon, you’re smiling pretty hard, are you okay?” Mark asked.

“I will be once I please him,” I responded, but these were not my words. They came from somewhere else. I suddenly felt my consciousness shift as I became a bystander to the thing that began controlling my body. “He will be so pleased with my sacrifice,” I could hear the words leave my mouth, but I could not stop them. Mark’s eyes grew wide.

“I found a church in the area that’s open this late, let’s go,” Nicki said appearing in the doorway.

“NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!” I felt the words come out. I tried with everything in me to fight this force, to get some of my own words out. I tried to move myself from my position in front of the mirror, but it was all in vain. It was very evident that I had no control. The most I could let out was a forced grunt.

“Girl fuck this, I’m calling the police!” Nicki Snapped out of fear.

Mark still stood silent, his face flushed and his eyes still wide.

My body pushed past them and ran into the kitchen. I tried so hard to stop my it from moving. I could see, feel, and hear everything. I just had zero control. I fought so hard for control physically that it began to hurt all over. The pain was like fire, it felt like my blood was boiling, but I couldn’t even scream out in pain. In the kitchen I watched myself grab the largest knife from my drawer. I immediately knew where this was going, and used prayer as a last resort. I prayed hard in my head as my body walked back towards my bedroom where I heard Nicki talking to dispatch. As I prayed the physical pain intensified.

GOD CAN’T SAVE YOU NOW!

“She’s got a knife!” Mark screamed.

They both cowered in the corner of my room. My body approached them slowly. I could still feel the grimace on my face, it stretched further making my face hurt. Nicki pulled out her key ring that had a bottle of mace on it.

“Shannon please, the police are on the way. I know you’re in there!” Nicki pleaded. I felt my eyes burn as tears ran down my face. I tried with all my might to get a word out. The burning inside me intensified but I still fought hard. It burned so bad that I finally was able to let out a scream. My tears intensified as I struggled to get the words out. My chest heaved as I stood there with my mouth open.

“I-I-I’m s-s-sorry,” I managed to get out before the pain forced me to give in and remain silent.

KILL THEM NOW!!

I approached them slowly. Nicki raised the mace and sprayed me, tears running down her face. I felt the burn of the mace, but it didn’t stop the demon controlling me. I lunged at her first wrapping my left hand around her throat. Mark grabbed my arm with the knife and tried to get it from my grip.

“Shannon please! You have to fight this!” Mark screamed after he failed to get the knife. Whatever was in control had inhuman strength so all of their efforts to fight back were futile. I felt my arm drive the knife into Nicki’s stomach, she didn’t make much noise because the hand around her throat was gripped tight. The most she managed was a few grunts, and then she began to gargle as blood spilled from her mouth.

“NOOOO!” Mark screamed, tears running down his face. He tried to make a run for it but before I knew it, I had him against a wall too, in the same way that I had Nicki.

“You think you can escape the wrath of my father?” I heard the question come from my lips, but this time it was the same voice I had heard in my head, powerful and deep. Mark whined as he tried to escape my grip. I heard Nicki gargle her last breath and momentarily forgot what was happening. I remembered all of the good times we shared. The love, the laughter, the tears, the secrets, Nicki. I felt my arm move and in an instant blood was flowing from his lips too. My grip on his neck released and he slid down the wall. He gurgled for about three minutes before he died, and the demon in control of my body made me stand right above him and watch until he took his last breath. I felt more tears coming from my eyes.

“MEOW.”

My head turned sharply, and my body ran full speed in his direction. He hissed and tried to run under the bed, but my hand gripped his tail before he could get away. I wanted so badly for him to get away, but in a matter of seconds I was holding him by the scruff of his neck. I really tried to close my eyes when the knife slit his throat, but all attempts were in vain. I felt his blood splatter on my face. My heart broke, it felt like it literally broke, and all I could do was silently cry. My chest began to heave. I was sobbing but I couldn’t Let it out. I watched as the demon used my body to lay my dead friends and dead cat on my bed. I watched as it forced me to lie on the bed next to their cooling bodies.

“Father will be so proud,” The words left my mouth.

YOUR TURN NOW.

I watched myself pick up the knife and walk into the bathroom and stand in front of the mirror. I was covered in the red blood of my friends and cat. I then heard a knock on the door.

“This is the police. Please open the door!”

I saw my face clearly for the first time since my eyes had started to turn and I looked like a demon. My eyes, an abyss of darkness. My mouth, curled in a grimace that didn’t look humanly possible. I tried to pray in my head again, but nothing worked, this thing had me, and it wasn’t letting me go until it had what it wanted. I watched as the arm, my arm, that once seemed so familiar lifted the knife to my neck and slid the blade across my throat.

RED.

8 notes · View notes

letters-iwillnevergiveyou · 6 years ago

Text

New Years Eve Bulls7$*t

Dec. 31 2018

So you did the unthinkable, the unimaginable. You actually left me on New Years Eve at home by myself. I knew there was a big possibility this would happen. You said you had business to take care of but after I asked you not to leave me alone on New Years you ended up telling me you were staying home because I couldn't go with you to take care of this business. I don't understand you. You always tell me that but then I find out you pick up D.J. and she goes all over with you. So you leave me home alone constantly and take someone else with you, all while telling me you are alone. And you wonder why I can't trust you. You also said you were alone yesterday and couldn't call me. Come to find out that too was a lie. D.J. was with you. You could have called me all along you just didn't.

Anyway getting off track. Tonight. We go to the post office to send off records I'm selling. My dead husbands records I might add. To help us fund this trip to Belize. You didn't get tracking numbers, or a receipt. I'm totally screwed. All these people are expecting a product and by a certain time. I'm already a month late because of you. You couldn't go back in and get the numbers because they closed. Then you take me to get food. Finally. I told you I was hungry at 12. It was after 6 by this time. Then we go home. You took your apartment key off the ring so I could get inside, telling me you were going to finish hooking up your stereo. I stupidly listened and believed you. After I went inside you took off. The only reason I knew is because I was using your mobile hotspot and when it disconnected I looked outside and you were gone. Now here I am with no phone, my boyfriend ditched me, my car that you have been using while yours has been broke down is now broke down, and I'm fucked again. How can you not see how fucked up this is? I should have taken your car and left you here to sit a couple days with no phone, no transportation and no money. I bet you wouldn't like it. What is wrong with you? How can you treat any human being like this let alone someone you supposedly love? I don't understand. I keep thinking maybe you just went up the street to your buddys house. Maybe you just needed a minute away. Maybe you will make sure to be back before midnight and kiss me, bring in the new year with me, the woman you love and want to do life with. But honestly, you don't do life with me now. You lead a triple life. There is the life you have with me. The one where I am like this secret. You talk a little, have sex with me, then immediately take a shower and off you go. You either stay in the bathroom on the phone or getting high, or you leave. There is the life of the drug dealer. You hang out with your friends and get high. You drive all over the place and do favors for people if there is money or drugs in it for you. Then there is the nice sweet man you pretend to be to the rest of the world. The man you tried to trick me into thinking you were. The one who says the right stuff and pretends to care about you and what you have been through. The guy who anticipates your needs and is there for you when you need him. He is a good dad and just misunderstood. He doesn't exist. He only exists in the 16 dating apps he is signed up in. You know the ones you told me were a "hobby" that you would give up when I told you it hurt me for you to talk to other women that way. Yeah those. I wonder if Sandy ever even cheated on you or if it was you that cheated. I have her number I should find out. Oh who cares I guess. It doesn't matter. You have hurt me more emotionally than I have ever been hurt in my life. I read an article online about signs that you are emotionally abused. Check it out. It's eerily familiar....

10 Brutal Signs Your Man Is An Emotionally Abusive Jerk

By Dr Annie Kaszina

How do you spot an emotional abuser? Most likely when a guy first comes a-wooing, he won’t be carrying his, “I’m an emotionally abusive man” placard. So how do you identify him before you get hurt?

Here are the tell tale signs that he is an emotionally abusive man:

1. He shows a lack of respect. Not all emotionally abusive men will show you a lack of respect from Day 1. Some will turn on the charm for a while — others won’t. But how do they behave toward other people and speak about them? If your boyfriend is critical or contemptuous of other people, be very aware that you have a short shelf life before you become those other people.

2. He always tells incredible hard luck stories about his past. Every emotionally abuser worth his salt has a great hard luck story about his tough past — and, boy, does he tell it well. Telling you his hard luck story is a neat ploy. You only have to respond like the uber-caring, empathic, trusting person you are for him to know you are his perfect… prey.

3. You notice worrying back stories about women. Yep, he’s the one who’s suffered at the hands of women who didn’t understand nor appreciate him. He’s been let down, treated badly, exploited, and robbed blind by past wives and/or girlfriends. His bitterness about these predatory b**ches sends a clear message about how he wants you to behave: no demands, no expectations, just 100% commitment to healing his hurts.

4. He has a bad behavior — or three — that needs to be fixed. That could include drug taking, alcohol abuse, leering at women, tight-fistedness, or anger issues. He’s a little bit broken, but hey, your middle name is Ms. Fix-Him.

5. He’s domineering, and/or jealous, controlling and self-centered. You can tell yourself he’s just “being a man,” but the reality is that he is establishing a power (im)balance in the relationship. It works on the principle that he has the lion’s share of the power, and you get the lion’s share of responsibility.

6. He gets star billing in the relationship — with all that, that entails — while you get to play the bit parts. He gets most of the airplay, and the limelight, etc. as befits the star. It won’t be too long before he lets you know that your job is to keep his trailer nice and tidy.

7. He has a short fuse. “Slow to anger,” “quick to forgive and forget,” and willing to own up to his own mistakes, are NOT accurate descriptions of him. He’s easily upset, he overreacts, and as he tells it, the problem was not of his making in the first place — so, he rarely has to get his head around the “S” word (that’s “SORRY” to you and me). He may well be a “potty mouth.” He certainly doesn’t react in a measured, adult way when he feels peeved and aggrieved.

8. He’s not 100 percent reliable, consistent or predictable. “Something comes up” or he’s feeling too tired or he’s been really, really busy. Showing consideration for you, your wishes, and your feelings is not his top priority.

9. He doesn’t let you have boundaries. He asks inappropriate personal questions early on. He rushes you and the relationship. He sets himself up as the authority on every area of your life — including family, friends, your working life, and even your finances.

10. He sets off warning bells in your gut. There was that moment right at the start when, from somewhere deep inside you, there bubbled up the awareness: “YUK. This guy is bad news.” Sadly, that feeling didn’t come with a 20-page PDF report, a government health warning, or even banner headlines anywhere you looked. So what did you? You ignored that feeling. “Listen, if it can’t give me a chapter and verse, why should I pay attention to it? It’s making a lot less noise than he does. Besides, he might be my last chance at happiness, right?” Your intuition doesn’t obsess about the past, or worry about the future. It simply comes to the right conclusion in the present moment. Its predictions are far more clear-sighted than yours are.

If you want to keep yourself safe from emotionally abusive men, you have to learn how to spot them. Emotionally abusive partners create massive mental, emotional and financial havoc in their victims’ lives. This article is here to spare you heartache and disappointment. Don’t be too blind to see them.

.............................................................................Wow. All I can say is wow. So lets break it down.

1. Lack of respect. I don't think I have ever seen you show anyone respect except when you talk about Charlie. Which comes from abuse of your own as a child.

2. Tells hard luck stories. Oh my god I won't even go there. You have a poor woe is me story to excuse every bad behavior.

3. Worrying back stories about other women. Yep! Helloo! The most horrible stories about the women from your past.

4. Bad behavior. Do I even need to go there?

I'll use short answers. Lying, cheating, manipulating, drugs, etc. etc. etc.

5. Domineering and/or jealous controlling and self centered. 150% yes yes yes. You make it very clear you are the boss. All these rules for me that just don't apply to you.

6. Star billing in the relationship. Umm ya. It's all about you. Always is.

7. Easily upset, overreacts, doesn't take responsibility. You get mad at me when I simply tell you how I feel. Or how your actions hurt me. You never apologize. You don't ever take responsibility. It's always someone elses fault or my fault. You will do something fucked up to me and it somehow is my fault. Every fucking time.

8. Not 100% reliable consistent or predictable. This is you. I never know what you are going to do. Even when you try to do better it might only last a day, a week, a month maybe an hour even. Point is, I never know what you are going to do. And you don't show you care about my feelings or needs no matter how clear I relay them to you. I am last on your priority list if I'm there at all. i.e. TONIGHT FOR EXAMPLE

9. The first part of this one eh not so much but the part about you being the authority on every area of my life is spot on. You don't let me have boundaries. You will tell off my entire family if you don't agree with them and my relationship with them. I have ostracized my entire support system because of you. I had it pretty good. My mother in law and I had a great relationship, so did me and my mom and sister. Now I have no one but you. Thanks for that.

10. Sets off warning bells in my gut. Yes, you did. From the very beginning. There was just something always nagging at me telling me you were full of shit. Like how anytime you did something shitty and I would try to talk to you about it, before I could say anything you would distract me by telling me something I wanted to hear. In fact the night you told me you were falling in love with me was one of those times. I was mad at you and said we needed to talk. I was about to tell you whats what when you blurt out you're falling in love with me and that i intimidated you and you didn't know how to act around me. Very fucking smooth.

So there you have it. I am officially the victim of emotional abuse. I never thought I would ever again be in a position to be abused ever again. Yet here I am. The stupid part is that if you were truly remorseful and made an effort I would stay. I would try to make this work. But who am I kidding? You don't love me and I'm not sure you are even capable of loving anyone. J---n lives to love and look after J---n. Ugh I'm fucking done with this entry. Worst New Years Eve I have ever fucking had. If you loved me you would want to be with me.

#alone tonight #new years eve #liar #shitty boyfriend #drugs over me #im done

0 notes

adambstingus · 7 years ago

Text

5 Things You Learn Professionally Squatting In AWarehouse

When you hear someone talk about “squatters,” you probably think of hobos/borderline hobos stinking up a crumbling old house or abandoned grocery store in the middle of some broken chunk of urban sprawl. Usually their ambitions don’t extend beyond “keep dry” and “have a nice place to do heroin.” But all over the world you’ll find a different kind of squatter community, involving hundreds of people — often artists — who live their lives outside the direct control of the law. Some of these communities have existed right in the middle of major cities for decades.

Why do they do it? How can they get away with it? We went and visited a couple to find out …

#5. You’ve Got To Fight For Your Right To Squat

Let’s say you and a bunch of friends want to take over a patch of land that isn’t yours and set up your own little community. How would you go about keeping the cops from just arresting everyone and sending in the bulldozers? Set up barricades? Armed guards?

Actually, the answer is art. Allow us to explain.

Just don’t ask us to explain the art.

Squatter communities usually involve a bunch of weirdos who spend most of their time making art living rent-free outside the confines of society’s laws. There’s one in Copenhagen, Denmark, that’s been there for almost 45 years, containing about a thousand squatters/artists. There are independent squatter communities in the United States, too — we visited Slab City, California, last year — but they tend to exist well off the beaten path. That’s because, well, what they’re doing is usually illegal as hell. “Squatting” by definition means they didn’t pay for the land they’re sitting on, and in almost every case lots of people are unhappy about it.

The two anarchist-ish squatter compounds we visited were both in Ljubljana, the capital of Slovenia. The first, Metelkova, has been around for more than 20 years and hosts a shitload of art from renowned painters, sculptors, etc., from around the world:

This used to be a Yugoslavian army guard tower.

And this used to be a literal nightmare.

The second, Social Center Rog, also contains a shitload of art and — bonus! — a giant skate park.

No one built it. It just sort of appeared.

Why doesn’t the government just come and tear it down? They totally tried.

Metelkova was built over the rotten corpse of an old Yugoslavian military base. As the military pulled out, the area was promised to local artists as a work space by the government. But the government almost immediately decided “fuck that” in lieu of bulldozing the whole thing and selling the land to developers. One of our sources for the article, Natasha, was there when the demolition started. “They brought all these machines, wrecking balls as well … but by coincidence, someone passed by, saw what was happening, and informed all the other members. People gathered and decided to attack to protect the buildings.”

This “attack” took the form of dozens of artists rushing the demolition site and setting up in buildings as they were being torn down. The basic logic was, the government probably won’t kill us all for this land. The squatters erected barricades to keep the government out (which obviously wouldn’t hold them off for long) and started covering everything with art. “Artists just gathered and started gluing ceramic tiles on the wall. The purpose was to protect the building with art … then maybe they won’t demolish it.”

“After all, you never see them bulldoze a spraypainted building, right? Right?!”

OK, so that sounds like about the hippie-dippiest bullshit imaginable. “If we cover the walls with enough art we can melt the government’s hard hearts!” It’s the kind of plan that could have been dreamed up only by people too high to remember that the government has access to things like tear gas and truncheons.

But it worked.

Like the old saying goes: “The Illuminati-baby humping a soccer ball sculpture is mightier than the sword.”

Next, local artists started donating paintings and sculptures, and the squatters began hosting as many concerts and art shows as possible. “In two months, like 200 different events happened.” Natasha’s job during all this was to take clippings from newspaper articles about the squat and different events it held. Several Slovenian intellectuals teamed up with an American architect named Kevin Kaufman and produced the Metelkova Development Plan, a detailed blueprint for the future expansion of the squat.

All of this was meant to establish the squat as a legitimate piece of cultural heritage, rather than just a place where young hippie kids got fucked up. And it worked: The government relented, declared Metelkova a cultural heritage site, and pulled back the wrecking balls and the cops.

Having a spider-tank on their side didn’t hurt.

After more than a decade in operation, Metelkova inspired another squat — Social Center Rog — which began when a bunch of artists started occupying an abandoned communist bike factory. But the Rog had to fight for its existence against a different foe: junkies.

#4. Squatting Means Kicking Out Previous Squatters

“Wait,” you’re probably thinking, “aren’t all of these people junkies?” Shockingly, no. On our second night in the city we attended a “wild” party thrown by the Rog as a fundraiser. The publicly available drugs were beer and wine … that was about it. Nobody got shitfaced, nobody started fights, and, on the whole, it was considerably tamer than Cracked’s annual company Christmas party.

They only had one beer in that fridge, and it belonged to Ganesha.

So folks at the Rog aren’t teetotalers, but it’s not a drug-soaked den of inequity, either, partly because the residents are dirt poor, but mainly because the first big stumbling block in the Rog’s existence was kicking out the dangerous junkies who squatted in the abandoned factory before the artists arrived. One long-time resident told us, “At first it was half artists, half junkies. Some on drugs, some just alcoholics. We kicked out the worst of them until eventually just one old alcoholic was left.”

The squatters managed to force out most of them via a concerted campaign of passive-aggression: making them feel unwelcome and ostracized until they packed up their shit and left for another abandoned building. But that one old alcoholic didn’t respond to social pressure. “Then he got some woman drunk, and we found her outside in the middle of winter — she had turned blue.”

“They can’t attack me if I turn my skin into art!”

The woman nearly died, but the squatters were able to get her medical attention. That near-death gave them the motivation they needed to physically force the last of the former tenants out of the factory. That’s the sort of thing you have to do yourself when …

#3. The Police Stay Out Of It … For Better Or Worse

Metelkova’s international reputation as an art gallery gained squatters a lot of affection within Ljubljana. When the Rog started up, they took advantage of that goodwill. “The police know it would look bad to come in here … so they don’t.”

During that giant party we attended, the cops did show up because of a noise complaint, but they were content to stay outside and give the DJ a 40 euro ticket for being too noisy. The Slovenian cops were actually super polite about the whole “loud squatter party” thing. As they wrote out the ticket, a group of around 40 people formed around the three officers, chanting slogans we assume were not positive about The Man and generally getting rowdy. At no point did the cops call for back-up or draw their weapons. But don’t misconstrue us: This isn’t because Slovenian cops are pacifists. They have riot police who fire tear gas at protesters, just like any country:

The tears just fuel more art.

From our vantage point, it seemed almost like the police were afraid of the squatters. Not that they might get violent, because nobody had any weapons in hand (this being Slovenia, none of them owned guns). The cops clearly did not want to actually enter the Rog and shut down the party because it would’ve been bad PR.

The negative flipside of this is that the police also aren’t willing to enter the squat to arrest people committing actual violent crime. One man we talked to in the Rog was assaulted by a crazed violent teenager and beaten badly with an iron bar. His jaw was broken and his skull was cracked to fuck and back. When he reported this to the police, their response was basically, “He’s your problem.” Hey, you want to live outside the law, you get your wish.

“Live by the squat, die by the squat.”

So, the squatters of the Rog decided to handle the perp themselves. “We dressed up in masks and gloves and showed up in his room in the middle of the night and threw him out. We gathered up all his stuff and tossed it out too.” Oh, hey, it’s starting to look like there might be an ugly side to the squatter artist life …

#2. You’re Only “Off The Grid” Until You Can Steal Your Way Back Onto It

When the first generation of squatters started squatting in Metelkova, they were living in half-demolished buildings with no water and power in the midst of a European winter. “The circumstances were rather hard. Many … just left because they could not bear the conditions. There was no electricity. Winter was coming. It was rather hard, and these people were … adults in the midst of careers. And then other squatters came … punks and people who wanted to party.”

The young punks were spry enough to last a bitter winter. They managed to acquire an old generator to power their concerts and started stealing water from the city. The Rog did the same thing, hijacking a fire hydrant for their own use.

Which isn’t to say things are super fancy there, even so.

Once they had the water, the government couldn’t take it away from them because then someone might die and it’d technically be their fault. As someone in the Rog told us, “The city installed a meter, and now they foot the bill for our water. At least … I hope they are paying the bill. I haven’t gotten a bill!”

OK, so this entry might make these people sound like the lazy suckers-of-government-teat your Trump-voting uncle assumes every liberal arts major aspires to be. But this is the hard reality of living off the grid. You can reject the evils of governments, corporations, and modern society, but you are still an organism that needs water to not die, as well as heat to stave off the winter and electricity to power your guitar. So there is always a point at which someone in the squat comes up with a brilliant idea to make some cash — you know, just enough to keep everyone alive. That’s when you find out …

#1. Going Legit Can Kill The Squat

Metelkova has existed — and grown — for 20 straight years. They’re an official NGO now. Today they’re hooked up to the city water and power grid legally … but that means they have bills. They pay them with profit from concerts and several bars (some of which are operating illegally), which have grown into a sizable revenue stream for Metelkova. “They finance everything; maintaining the building, paying the artists … not much, but something.” Metelkova has actually become successful enough that many folks make significant amounts of money running galleries and holding concerts there. It��s gained international recognition at the cost of, ironically, becoming too expensive for the kind of poor punk artists who founded it. Today it’s a popular place for rich student hipsters to party and feel cool.

The much-grungier Rog still stays true to its roots: Anyone can show up and make art or play music. But since Metelkova has bills, they can’t afford to let just anyone play or set up art: “If a band won’t bring in a lot of people, they won’t sell enough tickets and the bars won’t sell enough beer … so maybe they don’t get to play.” And that seems to be the life-cycle of these squats: They start with a bunch of furious, motivated young artists who want to create a place for themselves and their work. Then they get popular, start making money, and turn into boring ol’ art galleries just as snooty as their more traditional predecessors. That was clearly a major worry of several of the Rog’s “founding” residents. When we first visited, they were willing to give us a brief tour of their facilities …

Including the fake Dracula castle they were building for an independent horror movie.

But they didn’t want to sit down for an interview, and they pointed out several times that “no one is allowed to make money from the art they make here.” They warmed up to us eventually and even offered to sit down with us over coffee and explain their viewpoint.

Their coffee table was an old TV.

They all respected what Metelkova, the older squat, had done for squatter’s rights in the city. But they didn’t like what it had become (“It is in every tourist guide to Europe.”) and they all worried that the Rog would get too popular and become another hip concert venue for rich kids from London and Berlin to use as a backdrop for selfies. One resident pointed out that international companies have already started eyeing the Rog as a location to shoot ads. “Garnier Fructis wanted to pay us to film a commercial here.”

As you can tell from their non-table TV, they aren’t big fans of commercials.

Despite the fact that Garnier put thousands of dollars on the table, and despite the fact that most Rog residents are literal starving artists, they said no. Partly because Garnier tests on animals, they said, and partly because they’re straight-up terrified of getting too popular.

But that’s just how it goes. Over the years idealism melts away, money starts flowing in, and pretty soon what was once an enclave of the counter-culture becomes a commoditized chunk of the regular culture. In the beginning, Metelkova was host to dozens of squatters: Now just one person lives there full-time. The Rog is currently host to anywhere from eight to a few dozen residents, depending on the time of year. But every year they get a little more established, a little more money trickles in, and, eventually, the Rog will likely find its way into tourist guidebooks and become just another place where rich kids pay to party.

“115 of your friends have checked in here!”

And when that happens, a new generation of young artists who can’t afford to pay $50 to see a concert or drink $4 beers at a gallery show will find another abandoned building, fill it with art, thumb their noses at the cops, and the whole cycle will continue on.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/5-things-you-learn-professionally-squatting-in-awarehouse/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/177107993387

0 notes

allofbeercom · 7 years ago

Text

5 Things You Learn Professionally Squatting In AWarehouse

Why do they do it? How can they get away with it? We went and visited a couple to find out …

#5. You’ve Got To Fight For Your Right To Squat

Actually, the answer is art. Allow us to explain.

Just don’t ask us to explain the art.

This used to be a Yugoslavian army guard tower.

And this used to be a literal nightmare.

The second, Social Center Rog, also contains a shitload of art and — bonus! — a giant skate park.

No one built it. It just sort of appeared.

Why doesn’t the government just come and tear it down? They totally tried.

“After all, you never see them bulldoze a spraypainted building, right? Right?!”

But it worked.

Like the old saying goes: “The Illuminati-baby humping a soccer ball sculpture is mightier than the sword.”

Having a spider-tank on their side didn’t hurt.

#4. Squatting Means Kicking Out Previous Squatters

They only had one beer in that fridge, and it belonged to Ganesha.

“They can’t attack me if I turn my skin into art!”

#3. The Police Stay Out Of It … For Better Or Worse

The tears just fuel more art.

“Live by the squat, die by the squat.”

#2. You’re Only “Off The Grid” Until You Can Steal Your Way Back Onto It

Which isn’t to say things are super fancy there, even so.

#1. Going Legit Can Kill The Squat

Metelkova has existed — and grown — for 20 straight years. They’re an official NGO now. Today they’re hooked up to the city water and power grid legally … but that means they have bills. They pay them with profit from concerts and several bars (some of which are operating illegally), which have grown into a sizable revenue stream for Metelkova. “They finance everything; maintaining the building, paying the artists … not much, but something.” Metelkova has actually become successful enough that many folks make significant amounts of money running galleries and holding concerts there. It’s gained international recognition at the cost of, ironically, becoming too expensive for the kind of poor punk artists who founded it. Today it’s a popular place for rich student hipsters to party and feel cool.

Including the fake Dracula castle they were building for an independent horror movie.

Their coffee table was an old TV.

As you can tell from their non-table TV, they aren’t big fans of commercials.

“115 of your friends have checked in here!”

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/5-things-you-learn-professionally-squatting-in-awarehouse/

0 notes