#ive turned this guy into my own thing

[tempestvista]

what's wrong 007n7 ! The spectre made you famous because you're its favorite ! I hope this works... Warning for bright colors and multiple different patterns

version w/o background/ most of it. The square things r supposed to represent the c00lgui but i forgot to do much with it GHSHFA

[exlimix1a]

Quick piece of @luluyamofficial 's character Lucelia + a 30 second speedpaint!

[majimaisms]

im new to your blog what's the okinawa fic

anon im so sorry for the late response i thought u were my friend taking the piss HSJSNDKAIKDJKFKF

um. well. i want to keep everything about it as vague as possible but it's basically my longfic-in-progress that deals with majima's Gender and Rootlessness (with motherhood, impermanence and generational trauma as prominent themes.) it's basically like. what if majima was allowed to be a woman. briefly and under Circumstances. but genuinely acknowledged as one instead of it being a joke or mask she can hide behind. like what would that do to majima how would she feel about it. etc

i cant say more HFJDHDKJD other than i plan (hope) to be in the editing phase by this time next year. i have everything outlined (<- already took me a year) and i know what i'm gonna write i just need to.... write it

i lied heres me going crazy about it (unprompted) (it's always unprompted) (we were talking about the liver failure thing) yesterday

i am basically meeting majima on her terms to give her a crumb of gender euphoria. that's what the okinawa fic is. and then it doesn't really amount to anything because it's basically a really elaborate canon compliant missing scene fic. but. it still does something. To Me

[snailthimbles]

.

[applescabs]

happy birthday to me i celebrated by looking at my favourite sequence of images in the world and crying over it at half past midnight.

[3416]

Do you think how Mitch has been treated by fans and even media this past year(s) will have any impact on his decision to stay?

as someone who does not live in mitch's shoes, i can't really predict this. i think protective fans are probably overestimating how much that plays a role... like i doubt he feels extremely physically threatened in his everyday life (and i think threats of that are something he's used to in a way lol which is fucked but not a new phenomenon in the age of social media), but i think anyone pretending it doesn't factor in at all is stupid. idk how much it impacts his daily life mostly, and i believe him when he says he's not as online or paying as much attention tbh. if he leaves, i think it will be for a combination of reasons and not solely that though.

people forget that he's someone living through these failures year after year too. that's why talking like they don't care makes no sense bc maybe he'll want out to go to a team that he actually thinks can win bc he's tired of losing on this one? or doesn't believe in some guys on this one anymore? maybe he just wants out for the money and less scrutiny? maybe all of those are factors. i have no clue what his priorities are, and he's been pretty hush about what he actually wants for this entire past season save for that elliotte interview to start the season where he said he hopes he doesn't have to picture himself in another jersey, lol. that's why i have a hard time interpreting what insiders have to say about ~the marner camp~ bc they've been pretty mum about what they actually want and that's kind of the darren ferris way of it all. we're not getting a 'marner will go to the highest bidder' or 'marner will go to a quieter market' like we are about some other free agents, lol. no one has a gauge on the motivations behind the moves rn which makes it harder to guess what exactly will happen july 1st/after imo.

[autism-corner]

me whne

[dsc4]

YOUR TAGS!!! 😭😭💖 thank you sm I'm so gladddd you like my silly story! Hope and Sterling are my favs too and ILYSM for notice that about new hope and her relationship with her kids 🥺🫶🏽 hope you like this week's drama with Dora! 🫂

i read them a couple hours ago but im still processing what happened with dora 😭😭 like on one hand im SOOO HAPPY that her bigger issues are coming to light and she's getting her consequences, but at the same time it's sad to see it play out in such quick succession. like boom her dad surprises her and she gets defensive and shows her true colors, then she goes outside and sees her brother and her situationship talking about their own relationship. maybe i would pass away if i was pandora, but also if i was pandora, i would not be slacking as bad as she was 😭

but i LOVEEE how you wrote sterling in the whole scene. i was gonna pick out one line and then i was rereading, like damn all of these are bangers.. it's the way he's so communicative with his daughter that gets me.. everything he says makes sense from his end, but it wont reach her bc the current pandora will never realize what she did wrong orz

[spinspoon]

i make original posts less these days but like . hey chat maybe we shouldn't be sharing fearmongering posts ?

[connormoving]

i think itis funny in the past when i would list my interests as if i post abt them i donot post abt the shit im into rly Mainly bc im not rly Into Into anything anymore i occasionally watch or read or play something but i dont do fandom stuff rly much.... just sometimes i get brainworms

[gobstoppr]

and btw im in my hater arc rn. as time goes on the more i find a lot of 'fandom' stuff insufferable (i like art n stuff. just the way that fandom refits every media to fit a single mold and set of boring archetypes is exhausting.)

i just get really easily annoyed lately. and have been unfollowing people on a whim a lot. its not personal i promise

[horrorknife]

i need to make a new pinned post and just do away with the rentry page. just have my info under a cut. ill have to find a new blinky gif…perhaps i can find a jupiter themed one

[iloveyouhoneybear]

maybe i’m too emotional but your apathy’s like a wound in salt

maybe i’m too emotional

MAYBE YOU NEVER CARED AT AAAAALLLLLLLLLLLL

[emeraldincandescent]

Post on my dash about medical debt reminded me of the time tumblr saved me two grand. I don't think I told y'all about it because I am out of the habit of posting everything I do on tumblr lol

So. Last December, I had a bad cavity filled, and about a week later, I woke up with half of my face paralyzed. Which, as I'm sure you can imagine, freaked me the fuck out. Fortunately I had some level-headed Discord friends who a) told me what Bell's palsy was so I could look it up and b) reminded me to call my dentist for an emergency appointment. Dentist was also pretty sure it was Bell's palsy, but urged me to go to the emergency room to get checked out, because one-sided facial paralysis is also a possible indicator of a stroke. And you don't fuck around with strokes.

Bell's palsy, if you, like me of 6 months ago, don't know, is a harmless paralysis/muscle weakness on one side of the face that can be caused by a variety of things. It usually goes away on its own after a few weeks but also you can speed up the process with steroids.

I was pretty sure I was not having a stroke, because I'm Red Cross first aid certified and I know the symptoms of a stroke, and while one-sided facial paralysis is one of them, I didn't have any of the others. Also, I had quit my shitty job in October, which meant I had a shiny new marketplace health insurance plan and hadn't even touched my deductible. But I called my parents from the car and they urged me to get checked out and promised to help me pay off the emergency room bill if I needed it, because they're good people and they love me even if they drive me crazy sometimes. So off I went to the nearest emergency room.

Emergency room staff also didn't think I was having a stroke, because I waited ALL AFTERNOON, periodically having a new person come up to me and ask me to smile, hold both arms out to the side, press down on their hands, and tell them what month and year it was. (They don't ask who the president is anymore. Hmm, I wonder why.) One guy had me drink a cup of water while he watched. I cannot stress enough that I did not have any medical tests other than a physical examination: no CT scans or MRIs, no IV drugs or blood draws, nothing.

I get diagnosed with Bell's palsy and given a prescription for Prednisone. And then they give me a phone number and tell me to talk to this person about administrative stuff. So I call, and the dude on the phone verifies my name and date of birth and insurance information, and then he says, "It looks like your copay today is going to be $2400. How would you like to pay?"

I am, to this day, kind of impressed that he didn't even stutter over that number, but I assume working in a medical call center drains your entire soul. At this point, it's about 7pm, and I've been in the hospital since 2pm, and I'm stressed because half my face doesn't work, and I know that I can't afford $2400 because I quit my shitty job with nothing lined up back in October. But, I still remember every tumblr post I've ever read about health insurance and the medical system and how you can negotiate down a bill. I am not looking forward to this process, it sounds like a pain in the ass, but the alternative is paying $2400, so I say the magic words: "Send me an itemized bill."

I kinda expected the guy to try and get me to pay up front, but he just says "Ok" and finishes up the process. I get discharged, go to the only open pharmacy at that time of night to get my Prednisone, have the pharmacist tell me the prescription isn't written right and he can't fill it, go home, and have a screaming sobbing meltdown because I have used up every single milligram of cope in my entire body. (I got my steroids eventually, and the Bell's palsy cleared up in a couple weeks.)

A few weeks later, I get the bill in the mail. I brace myself and open it...

$300.

Turns out, after going through insurance and processing and everything, they couldn't actually find $2400 worth of stuff to charge me for. Shocking! Who could have predicted!

I might have been able to argue it down even more, but I was fed up with entire thing, so I paid the $300 just to be fucking done with it. Sometimes the cheapest way to pay is with money.

What if I had paid that $2400 up front? Do I think they would have been like, "Oh, oops!" and refunded me $2k? Well, possibly, but I am not optimistic.

So, thank you to everyone who has ever posted about navigating the US healthcare system on tumblr. Because of you, I knew how to handle this situation even when I was tired and stressed.

Don't forget to ask for an itemized bill, folks.

[inkskinned]

i. there's this video of a guy dancing on his tiptoes. i will begrudgingly admit the song is kind of catchy actually. i don't think it's the worst song i've ever heard. he seems passionate about it. but it is embarrassing, how he's dancing.

ii. you know where this story is going, unfortunately, and so do i.

iii. three weeks ago i had to drag half a dead rabbit out of my dog's mouth. i was just recently discussing how cruel things feel lately. that the way the world is shifting feels mean. three days ago, a random woman rolled down her window to snap at me because she missed her turn. this is now routine.

iv. 11 years ago in october, i made a post about how we shouldn't make fun of people for doing brave, vulnerable things. it has over 400k notes. people - at the time - seemed to generally agree with me. we have all felt shy and insecure when we share an intimate part of ourselves. we have heard someone at a concert say "that's fucking embarrassing" and said to ourselves - oh, this person is unsafe to be vulnerable in front of. we have said i can't act like that in public. we have left our art and passion in the dark. i think there will never be enough graveyard space for the art we have killed because what if others shame me for it.

v. the thing i was bullied for in high school was because i was a "predatory lesbian." a popular girl i'd literally never spoken to just decided she didn't like me and announced i was "stalking" her. to this day i have no idea what motivated this - i think i was just shy and poor and awkward and ugly. the perfect target. what they don't really ever show in movies is how quickly it moves, how suddenly strange people in the hallways are attacking you about it. they also don't show you that the bullies get this strange ... glee out of it. like, it's fun for them. it's enrichment. everyone else is in on the joke. suck it up, kid.

vi. so far, from what i have seen, creators that stand up for the musician all seem to have the same story: when i asked why we're bullying a random guy, people actually got mad that i asked. i've had similar things happen to me when i ask for us to be less comfortable with our anonymous cruelty. when an internet stranger says "be kind, it saves lives" - people find it funny to say fuck you i hope everyone kills themselves. pages and pages of people saying the same bullshit. sitting in their little caves, eating their own humor. it's just genuinely exhausting. the natural endpoint of "cringe culture" is that even kindness is cringe-worthy.

vii. loneliness is an epidemic. but where are you going to make your community? call your representative. go back to bed about it.

viii. due to how i was raised, i am always confused by cruelty. i understand the american isolationist belief "i can do whatever i want" - sure. but why wouldn't you want to be kind? i have lived too many bad things. i cannot be the epicenter of someone else's bad dream.

ix. it's just that if we were going to bully someone relentlessly, why is it never the healthcare CEOs. why isn't it the fascists. why isn't it, like, someone who you could at least argue "deserves" it. why is it always just some guy in socks singing a pretty mid song? or a person that doesn't look like you, just, like existing.

x. it's just that i think people enjoy doing it. they want to do it because they get some kind of masturbatory release from it - like a shrug or a splinter, they all seem to say the same thing - come on, it's funny.

xi. the world is sometimes beautiful, and sometimes you make something. the world is sometimes terrible, and you are worried they won't accept what your hands can wring. you open the instagram comments and they're still saying all sorts of shit to just - like - a normal guy. and some part of you thinks: if that was me. good lord. if that was me i'd -

xii. somewhere there is a graveyard. someone is already burying their hopes and dreams.

[hpfanficsworld]

Did I just spend one week making the *perfect* description of what happened in that scene in the (currently named, need a better, nicer name) Triwizard Tournament, knowing that most people would skim through? Knowing that even I won't/wouldn't find it that important/interesting and that no one's going to notice? That I'll come back and just shrug the thing off (though I promise you it will definetely be in the fic)?

Yes.