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Calling All My Lovelies

Felix Catton x f!Reader
My fic masterlist
Summary: AU where Saltburn's ending never happened. Felix lived happily up to 2017 (and on), where he happened to meet you. Meaning he is around 29-30 here.
Featuring the song "Calling All My Lovelies" by Bruno Mars
Also mentioning songs like "24K Magic" and "Too Good to Say Goodbye" by Bruno Mars, you can listen to them or even the whole "24K Magic" album for the right mood and atmosphere ❤️
Tags: fluffy angst, AU.
Warnings: mentions of sex, kinda?cheating, relationship misconception.
Word Count: 2,7K
Felix's London apartment was luxurious. Of course, it wasn't Saltburn, but there was a lot to see and be impressed by here too. Especially the view of the Thames, which was strewn on both sides with many lights of the most beautiful sights of the UK capital. Felix and all his guests found the lights especially bright in winter, as on this late February evening.
Especially the girls. Each of those whom he brought here stopped in awe at the huge panoramic windows and looked at the views almost from the height of the flight of a city bird. If before that they had somehow not been one hundred percent fascinated by Felix and his lifestyle, then this luxurious apartment was always the final charming argument.
Y/N was no exception.
When he brought you to his place after a fun evening full of alcohol, it seems that you looked at the views of the city more closely than anyone else and even managed to point out to him some new places from afar, which he did not pay much attention to or did not know what exactly these places were.
Felix smiled warmly - he would love to admire the view of the city with you, preferably standing in an embrace. But then he wasn't interested much of it back then, rather in something else. When he returned from the kitchen with a bottle of expensive alcohol and two glasses, you barely had time to taste the drink, as you merged again in a passionate kiss, which flowed into an even more passionate night. One of the best for both of you, and oh how he would like to repeat it.
But you weren't here right now.
There was no one but Felix himself, this evening was also full of alcohol, but there was little fun in it.
And all because you misunderstood each other. Very much.
When he brought you to his house from the club that day, he didn't think that you would take it all so seriously. Kate didn't take it in. Therefore, from her friend (or whoever you were to her, or maybe you didn't communicate that close? After all, if Felix had to think about it, it was the first time he saw you there with her…) he expected the same understanding.
You had a great time at the club, and then a night at Felix's apartment. Then you started to chat online a lot, went for a brunch and for a walk in the park, where you talked for a long, long time, cheerfully chatting about everything in the world. Well, except for discussing relationships. Then another night together, no less, if not more wonderful than that the previous one. Then another brunch. And after that… You had a lot of work and things to do, while Felix had a lot of free time and his own needs.
When you found out from Kate that he had slept with a couple of girls during that time (not with Kate herself, though they stopped sleeping not so long ago), you were crushed.
And she just shrugged her shoulders and said that you should have known or guessed that Felix lives in a free relationship mode.
You didn't know. Or you didn't want to know. And the main thing was that you thought that something special was going on between the two of you, you saw it in Felix's eyes, felt the distinct warmth of his touch and a certain special thrill overall. The way you talked to each other. It wasn't just sex or an empty mindless flirt, even in the beginning of your relationship was very fast and passionate. It was all felt even after two nights and many days, evenings and nights of mutual texting and calls.
Anyway, you didn't discuss otherwise. That was the whole point. And so, when, after things suddenly got clear, you received another usual message from Felix, you ignored it for a long time, unable to respond, being numb with pain, indignation and shame. You still was processing it and didn't believe to the end (that it would happened or that you were such a fool, you weren't sure yourself, probably both). Then, after a few more of his messages, you somehow pulled yourself together and answered all of them at once, quite briefly and dryly.
After some dialogue in a manner like that, Felix realized that there was clearly something wrong. He started asking what was the matter, to which you answered him:
"As if you don't know yourself."
"Explain?"
"I don't want to, I'm not in the mood to talk to you right now. If ever at all."
"???"
You didn't answer. Felix called. So, roughly in ten minutes of a phone conversation, you found out in raised tones that he "doesn't owe you anything nor didn't promise anything" that you "are fine as you are now, why complicate everything" and that "please, let's keep seeing each other, it doesn't mean anything special" was a real argument to him.
You almost shouted into the phone "No, if you don't want to complicate things, then I do, I'm sorry! More precisely, I wanted to. I thought we were serious.… Maybe... it seemed all... special. That's it, look, I... I don't want to talk any longer. And don't call me anymore, okay?"
And so, one day had passed, then two and three. And now the fourth day was already ending, turning into the fifth. You really didn't pick up the phone anymore and didn't respond to his messages, which were getting fewer and fewer every day.
But Felix had more and more thoughts in his head instead. He has almost passed all the stages of acceptance these days:
denial - "no, it's nothing, she's going to be mad a bit and come back to me";
anger - "not coming back? Well, fuck her!";
bargaining - "please, Y/N, answer my messages already...";
depression - "have I really lost touch with her forever?..".
Except for the acceptance itself, of course. And besides the fact that he was returning to all these stages randomly from time to time.
He really did not understand, he was not used to the fact that a girl could take a relationship with him that seriously, especially so immediately. Okay, these infatuations at school and even sometimes at university, when people fell head over heels in love with him, romanticizing him without really knowing him, but now? In the adult world, when everyone should understand the "rules of the game" and that no one seriously owes anyone anything until it is discussed. That was how Felix thought about it. And that was why it was so strange to him that it could hurt you so deeply.
He contemplated about it all the time and, to tell the truth, it even began to flatter him that someone could fall in love with him so much and take him that serious from the start. If he got everything correctly. Yes, at first it surprised him, then it worried him, then it flattered him, and after that... something inside him began to hurt unpleasantly?
He wasn't lying back then. These girl didn't mean a lot to him. But did this mean that Y/N did?..
His heart and mind began to fill with deep, complex feelings that he had not experienced for a long time and, to be honest, had not realized properly and processed in an adult way, being almost-thirty.
And Felix got scared. He was genuinely scared, that was why, first of all, he was pouring alcohol into himself all evening, inhaling lots of smoke as well.
And right now, he decided to brighten up his company not only with wine, champagne and cigarettes, but also with music. He chose Bruno Mars, whose new album he has listened to quite often since its release. Fancy stereo speakers filled his apartment with the loud sounds of "24K Magic".
Felix danced to the rhythm of the songs, sipping wine straight from the bottle. Now he tried to imagine that he was having fun in a club, and not alone in a dark empty apartment, and he almost succeeded in that.
That way Felix Catton decently lifted his mood along with the level of alcohol intoxication.
He skipped the song "Versace on the Floor" because he wasn't in the mood for slow romantic songs. But when "Calling All My Lovelies" started playing a little later, Felix was unable to switch it either.
He leaned back in one of the chairs, frowning and very intently listening through a decently tipsy consciousness to the lines of the song that had begun.
I got too many girls on hold for you to be so bold
Too many on my team for you to act so mean
"Oh, yeah. Exactly so," Felix thought.
You say you wanna go and have fun, well, you ain't the only one
If I ring, don't let it ring too long or I'm gone
"That's bloody right," he said aloud and nodded slightly several times, taking another sip of wine from the neck of the bottle.
I got Alicia waitin', Aisha waitin'
All the -eeshas waitin' on me
And also Stacey, Tracey, Macey, Lacey… Had he mentioned Tracey already? In general, all sorts of -aceys were waiting for him too, and not only them.
So why you contemplatin'? Playa hatin'?
If this is how it's gonna be
I'm callin' all my lovelies (Callin' all my lovelies)
'Cause I can't get a hold of you
At these words, Felix gripped the bottle so tightly that it almost broke under the force of his fingers squeezing it. It was definitely unpleasant for him to hear from Bruno Mars things that Felix was afraid to admit even to himself. He shook his head, closing his eyes. No, that was bullshit.
Since you ain't thinkin' of me (Since you ain't thinkin' of me)
Oh, look what you're makin' me do
Sharp breath. Closed eyes. Exhale.
Honey pie, I'm far too fly to be on standby
Sendin' me straight to voicemail, suga, what the hell? (What the hell?)
That was right! What the hell was all that? You ignored him too! How long had he been texting you and even calling you? Was that fair? Why should he run after you? He shouldn't.
Ooh, you ought to be ashamed, playin' these childish games
I don't get down like that, tell me where you're at, hit me back
Yes. Come and tell him that to his face. Oh, how he wanted you to be right in front of him now. Or didn't want to. No, he actually did. And not only to talk, getting things clear, but also to repeat the night like these… His imagination had already begun to draw pictures of how he would kiss you, undress you... and then… Your sensual moans echoed in his head. He almost felt your skin with his elictrified fingertips. And after that... no, no, stop.
Mmm, I got Alicia waitin', Aisha waitin'
All the -eeshas waitin' on me
"That's it, Bruno, you understand me, buddy! Felix mentally raised a bottle of wine as a toast and drank another sip to "them boys" and to "free spirits".
So why you contemplatin'? Playa hatin'?
If this is how it's gonna be
He could have called any of the girls he mentally had listed. And everyone would come to him immediately or at least as soon as possible, doing everything Felix would have wished. Ha. How do you like that, Y/N?
But for some reason he didn't want to text to any of them, much less call them.
The only voice he wanted to hear right now was yours.
I'm callin' all my lovelies (Callin' all my lovelies)
'Cause I can't get a hold of you
Since you ain't thinkin' of me (Since you ain't thinkin' of me)
Oh, look what you're makin' me do
For the second time, he couldn't stand listening to these words. Abruptly and carelessly putting the bottle on the glass table and staggering decently, Felix wandered off to get his phone. It was time to call his not-even-ex-not-girlfriend. Catton-Jr. seemed to be listening to the dial tone more on purpose, just not to listen too closely to the words of the song that went on:
Pick up the phone, pick up the phone
'Cause all this lovin' needs a home, oh, yeah
Oh, no, look at what you started, baby
Now, I'm left here brokenhearted, baby
"Pick up the phone, yes, pick up the phone, come on," he repeated, tapping his foot. The phone dropped the call after a short time, and the guy dialed for the second, then the third time and…
There's a pain in my chest, I cannot explain
I told myself I wasn't gon' cry (Oh, not gonna cry, no, no)
But somebody's gotta come dry these eyes 'cause (Dry these, ah, 'cause)
The dial tone beeps continued. Felix studied London at night under their measured rhythm. His favorite activity was to peer at passing boats and ships of various sizes, models and speed, as well as trying to count their number. He often got distracted, but still loved it.
So, he didn't notice that the beeps from the real phone had flowed into the beeps from the song. In "Calling All My Lovelies" Bruno's imaginary crush was a famous actress. Her voice "responded" in lively yet sensual tone:
Hi, you've reached Halle Berry. Sorry I can't get to the phone right now
But if you leave your name and number, I'll get right back to you *mwah*
Damn... (Bruno Mars' voice hissed back with increasing echoes and annoyance).
At this point, Felix himself clenched his teeth and threw the phone on the floor out of anger. Fortunately, the carpet was soft enough for the phone to survive the fury of its owner and continue to function in case you suddenly wanted to respond.
I'm callin', callin', callin', callin' all my lovelies
'Cause I can't get a hold of you
Oh, since you ain't thinkin' of me (Since you ain't thinkin' of me, baby)
Look what you're makin' me do
Felix almost whimpered at the realization of what a fool he had been and what a stupid situation he was in right now. Where he led himself. Why couldn't you two just talk? Why couldn't he just tell it all at once, from the start? Maybe it would have been different otherwise now. Resting his forehead against the big window, he felt its pleasant coolness, but it could not cool down his burning resentment inside. Most of all, he did not like it when the blame for the current situation could not be shifted to anyone or anything else, and this pained him incredibly right now.
Pick up the phone, pick up the phone
'Cause all this lovin' needs a home, oh
He collapsed into a chair near the window, clutching its handles tightly and stretching his long legs. If only he would…
Felix inhaled and exhaled noisily, throwing his head back and taking a pack of cigarettes along with a lighter out of his shirt pocket. The fingers did not obey a little, as the hands of their owner were shaking slightly from nerves and alcohol intoxication. He growled slightly in irritation. When the guy was finally able to light a cigarette, he took a long drag on it.
Now he wasn't in the mood for energetic and carefree songs. He skipped "Finesse".
That was how the last song from the album started playing - "Too Good to Say Goodbye":
I've made mistakes
I could have treated you better
I let you get away
There goes my happily ever after
Tell me why, why can't we try and start again?
This can't be how our story ends…
Oh, please…
He really did miss you.
And he was not right.
He wanted to win you and your trust over again. He finally admitted it with all his heart to himself. He would try. Really.
If only you could…
The phone, thrown on the fluffy carpet, suddenly came to life and started vibrating.
Releasing all the smoke from his lungs, which Felix had inhaled, at once, he abruptly bent down to the carpet.
Your name appeared on the phone screen, gleaming brightly in the darkness.
#felix catton x reader#felix catton#felix x reader#felix catton x you#felix catton smut#felix catton fluff#felix catton imagine#felix#felix catton AU#jacob elordi#jacob elordi x reader#jacob elordi smut#jacob elordi fluff#jacob elordi imagine#saltburn#saltburn AU#AU#saltburn imagine#oliver#oliver quick#saltburn 2023#saltburn smut#saltburn x reader#saltburn x you#fanfiction#farleigh start#imagine#fic#bruno mars#calling all my lovelies
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A random assortment of major characters from my current project! Can't show off everyone because spoilers, but you'll see them when you see them.
[obligatory demo link here]
#gamedev#game dev#game development#vollema#oc#original character#games#indie game#indie dev#wip#work in progress#art#artists on tumblr#i'll go ahead and tag character names since i do use this blog as an archive for stuff#leon (vollema)#mars (vollema)#paula (vollema)#lazarus (vollema)#ion (vollema)#jacob (vollema)#they've all got last names but i'll just keep this character tagging system for now for ease of reference#queue
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hair + art
#hortense mancini by jacob ferninad voet#painting is by edouard louis dubfe#painting by joseph karl stieler#painting by leopold carl muller#venus and mars by sandro botticelli#betrothed by james christensen#elise dorothea frederike by ernst thelott#painting by jose cruz herrera#miss jane mercer by samuel bell waugh#painting by johann heinrich richter#sarah walker of canterbury by j.b. haslehurst#painting by friedrich wilhelm herdt#young woman by j.c. leyendecker#helen of troy by anthony frederick augustus sandys#marie louise of orleans by i cant find the artist#georgiana duchess of devonshire by sir joshua reynolds#maria cornelia van wassenaer by jean baptiste van der hulst#portrait of a lady by franz schrotzberg#countess claudine rhedey johan nepomuk ender#painting by thomas francis dicksee jessica#escaping summer heat by hua sanchuan#i think this is by eiho hirezaki#drawing by wladyslaw t. benda#painting by hugette clark#auguste hilber by joseph karl stieler#empress elisabeth of austria by franz xaver winterhalter#zamorka by anton azbe#painting by elisabeth sonrel#painting by john duncan#saint john the baptist by sandro botticelli
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louis drawing from the other day :3
#iwtv#amc iwtv#louis de pointe du lac#jacob anderson#interview with the vampire#iwtv fanart#luke mars#illustration
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⚠️Vote for whomever YOU DO NOT KNOW⚠️‼️


#ultimate obscure blorbo#polls#Round IV#Squeak-squeak#Freddy and the Baseball Team from Mars#sten tunnel rave#tunnel rave#jacob wysocki
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brokeback mountain brainrot is real. hhh. hear me out ok listen to me. jack and davey ( newsies ) as ennis and jack. pls hear me out. yes this is js me combining my two hyperfixs but whatev. PLEASE PLEADE JUST HEAR ME OUT 💔💔💔need someone to deaw this
#i hate them#and i need them DEAD#newsies#brokeback mountain#javid newsies#javey#ennis del mar#jack twist#jack kelly#david jacobs
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Exploration of the now-offline Far Cry 5 official websites
Bonus pictures
Here are more background images, icons, and other various pictures found on the websites:




















#far cry 5#joseph seed#john seed#jacob seed#faith seed#cameron burke#earl whitehorse#dead living zombies#hours of darkness#lost on mars#far cry arcade#grace armstrong#boomer#inside eden’s gate#eden’s gate#nick rye
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jacob via romy mars on instagram
#jacob elordi#old ss i took that i forgot to post 😢#he looks so… wowowowowo#casually having brunch w jacob she is living the dream#romy croquet#romy mars#sofia coppola
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Me with Jacob Elordi
#girlhood#girl interrupted#girlblogging#im just a girl#this is a girlblog#just girly things#girlblogger#girl blogger#girl blog aesthetic#hell is a teenage girl#romy mars#sofia coppola#the virgin suicides#elvis and priscilla#priscilla movie#jacob elordi#Spotify
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High on cough syrup.
Anyway, America was founded on the genocide of the indigenous peoples of the American continent.
And the part that pisses me off the most is that the powers that be REFUSE to fucking take care of the stolen land.
Entire cities across the nation do NOT have potable water. Entire swathes of land have been destroyed in favor of capitalist ventures. Various aspects of our ecosystem have been permanently altered due to climate change caused by industrialization.
I get that there are millions of crises happening every day, so with that in mind, I feel it's important to remind people that it matters to take care of the space we occupy in this world. The world is our only home, why not take care of it? The people that came before us did, why can't we??
#jacob blogs#the way folks talk about colonizing mars#a planet with no potable water or water cycle to speak of#where are they gonna get the resources to sustain humanity?#it would be no surprise if they just transport millions of litres of water to mars#and then bring back the sewag/grey water to have it processed here#like#some people are genuinely insane and i cannot follow their logic whatsoever
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Jacob Elordi singing Happy Birthday to Sofia Coppola’s daughter Romy on her 16th birthday.
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part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4
he always feels uncomfortable walking through brooklyn. spot has brooklyn divided up, so that she controls everything but she has other people handling certain areas. and mack runs the area that borders manhattan- she does not like him. "jackie boy!" he freezes at her voice. "i ain't seein' you walkin' on by and ignorin' me, now am i?"
"course not, mack. i ain't ever ignorin' ya!" he replies, turning to see her. she's only a few steps behind him. he gives davey a little push, so he stays shielded, a little, from mack.
"what's we got here?" mack asks, using the stick she always carries to point at davey. "step up, kid, who are ya?"
"davey," he says timidly. she steps forward, crowding his space a little.
"davey," she repeats, clicking her tongue. it sounds wrong in mack's voice, threatening in a way jack hates. "tell spot i says hi, jackie." she shoulders her way between them, walking off with a little spring in her step.
"who was that?" davey asks quietly, watching mack head off.
"that was macdonald," jack replies. "everyone calls her mack. the first stop on spot's grand welcomin' tour. spot conlon and her girls ain't ever been fans o' mine."
"spot conlon's a girl?" davey asks.
"a lotta brooklyn newsies is. keep movin' or else we's gonna have to talk to mack again." he pushes davey forward, looking around. he can feel spot's girls watching them everywhere.
"why are so many brooklyn kids girls?"
"spot rose to power about three years ago. she was twelve about. first girl t'ever really run a borough. a lot of girls who show up in boroughs realize there's a girl in brooklyn and ship off."
"that why we have so little girls?" jack nods. he's seen a lot of girls from manhattan head off to brooklyn to work under spot. spot cares a lot for the girls she gets. "and she's the most feared newsie in all of new york?"
"you's gonna understand, dave." the docks where spot holds court are crowded with girls.
"jack!" hotshot grabs his shirt and yanks him around. "and a new kid. spot's waitin' for ya two. better get a move on, she don't like to be kept waitin'." she shoves them both toward spot's throne of crates. spot is sitting on it, holding her cane between her legs. she leans back when they get into view.
"jack."
"conlon." he sets his shoulders.
"oh, have some respect," she chides. davey fidgets a little beside him. "stop movin'." davey stills.
"his name's davey," jack tells her. she stands up, pushing off her throne. all five feet of her stares up at davey, who has over a foot on her. even so, he shrinks back.
"yeah, okay." she sits back down. "so."
#part 1 of a little miniseries on jack getting brooklyn in on the strike#i prefer a spot conlon who is a tiny bit of a thing and davey is TERRIFIED of a 5'0 fifteen year old girl#and mack HATES jack so much#spot is apathetic towards him and theyre usually chill but mack wants to drown him in the river. period.#spot conlon#jack kelly#davey jacobs#davey newsies#david jacobs#newsies 1992#newsies#92sies#livesies#uksies#west endsies#mack newsies#hotshot newsies#mars' writing!!
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watched saltburn last night and all i have to say is everyone calling it shocking is weak the only scene i was caught a bit off guard with was the grave scene but even then
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shes me fr
#jacob elordi#romy mars#saturday night live#snl#romy croquet#sofia coppola#viral tiktok#twitter#nepo baby#nepotism
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nothing will ever beat the taylor/bruno mars moment though… the vmas producers knew what they were doing
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bring back season three of euphoria as a graphic novel + accompanying soundtrack by labrinth feat. zendaya (w/ dominic fike?).
give fexi the happy ending they deserve (rip angus cloud). retcon ashtray's death because 😢. or maybe don't. idk.
get rid of nate jacobs because 🤮. send cal to jail. mention the other brother and make it NBD (idk away at college somewhere?).
maybe cassie stops chasing terrible boys and turns to drugs or alcohol like her parents. maybe she struggles to get herself together.
retcon kat's awful ending. have her tell ethan that she freaked out about him getting close to her and she didn't mean to break up with him and she really doesn't have a terminal brain disorder because WTF SAM LEVINSON. give her a storyline that doesn't revolve around her weight.
i'm not a writer so idk, but anything is better than waiting around for another year+ for sam levinson to pull something out of his ass when the best he could come up with so far was a knock off of veronica mars.
#euphoria#euphoria season 3#euphoria season three#rue bennett#cassie howard#fezco o'neill#lexi howard#nate jacobs#kat hernandez#ethan#kat x ethan#ethan x kat#fezco x lexi#lexi x fezco#fexi#sam levinson#ashtray#ashtray o’neill#fezco#veronica mars#elliot#dominic fike#zendaya#labrinth#rip angus cloud
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