#jam replies

[freckliedan]

was it just the two of them on the jamaica trip?

no! they were there with a group of other vloggers and iirc there's footage of them in the background of other videos posted during the trip. it was actually sponsored by a company selling waterproof cameras or something & was a really early example of that kind of thing?

dan actually wasn't originally included but phil insisted & so dan replaced one of the other people who was going to be a part of things because they really wanted phil.

[unloneliest]

do you think buddie is ever gonna be canon or are they just yanking our chain

i mean. they're already textual. but yes i think they will be canon. however i am very new to 911 fandom. and my view on the liklihood of things may have been skewed by being a long time dan and phil fan and having the unprecedented rpf win of them coming out and confirming pretty much every theory i've ever had.

[freckliedan]

if they're both out, then why bother hiding their relationship / stuff like sharing a room and going on couple holidays? surely all of their fans know that they're together so i don't get the point of buying a home with 2 bedrooms and having a fake apartments? sorry very confused very casual fan here

hi!!! i am always so happy to share information, so ty for asking me about it! i'm going to take these questions piece by piece ^_^

if they're out why bother hiding: most of the examples of them taking serious steps to hide their relationship are from before they came out! they have been together since 2009, but dan wasn't even out to his family until 2019, shortly before he came out publicly.

why not come out sooner than that? i'll try to be brief and avoid rehashing dan's entire coming out video (which is worth watching). several reasons: he was severely bullied from early childhood onward for being gay—from before he even had the chance to consider if he was actually gay. his dad was homophobic to the point dan seems to have removed him from his life completely, & he was raised by religious grandparents so unsure of the reception there.

and significantly: he and phil were outed by a youtube glitch that leaked an extremely personal video in 2011 that leaked again on a broader scale about a year later. being outed was a part of the bullying dan had experienced so this was retraumatizing but on a bigger scale.

they had had SOME level of plausable deniability regarding their relationship before the leak, but hadn't been very actively closeting themselves before that point? and then the leak happened around when they were blowing up in popularity/around when youtube was becoming a viable career, so they were already grappling with sudden fame & a lot of other things happening in their lives at the time.

dan was 20 and phil was 24 the first time that video leaked; they were 21 and 25 and living in an apartment they couldn't afford on their own hoping the bbc would hire them (they did) the second time it did. it makes sense that they came down hard & firmly closeted themselves, especially dan, especially with what he's shared of his personal experiences.

2012-13 was the peak closet, but by 2015 they were already being more open—that's the first couple's trip they went on again after active closeting started. they've just become more and more open from there, but the peak closet era was so definitive that the public perception of them as not a couple WILL NOT SHIFT until they directly express that they are a couple.

they ARE out to fans as a couple, and imo have been since before they came out individually. they've said things along the lines of "we know you know" multiple times.

why not be definitive about their relationship status when they came out? it would've overshadowed them coming out as individuals and they didn't want that. it will be MASSIVE news when they hard launch their relationship. they went ambiguous with it on purpose in 2019 and succeeded.

so. to circle back to your questions.

why bother hiding their relationship? they haven't really since coming out. they've been living freely and being open about that in whatever ways are comfortable to them. they took some time out of the public eye for a while and i'm glad they got to have that so they could explore what happiness looks like without feeling the need to perform. but it was also something that was intentionally temporary!

at this point in time when they call each other friends or roommates etc they're fully doing a bit. like. it's funny! and it's funny at our expense which makes it even funnier—it's their turn to put us through some shit, you know? & the joke is more on people who AREN'T familiar with them than anyone else at this point. it's nice being in on things with them.

why hide sharing a bedroom? they haven't really since moving into their forever home! they have a bedroom and a guest room and there's a murphy bed in phil's filming space/personal office.

phil at some point made a comment that the murphy bed is for if they have two guests over at the same time—something that will only really read as "they share a bedroom" to people keeping track of rooms in their house.

i don't think that they share a bed they sleep in 100% of the time. which is like, normal and healthy? being able to sleep in a different bed when you want/need is NICE i've known so many people who keep seperate rooms in committed relationships and if i was rich enough i'd love having two bedrooms with beds in them in my relationship. even if we'd mostly sleep in the same place.

i also think having multiple beds means dan and phil can have freak sex in one and be lazy about clean up bc they have other beds so that's. a plus for them too.

but like. yeah. i think it's less that they're hiding that they share a bedroom and more that they share a bedroom but have better boundaries with their audience at this point—there stopped being video liveshows after they came out and they'd stopped doing liveshows from their actual bedroom when they moved in to the separate apartment situation.

+ the separate apartment situation was ONLY ever meant to be short term, & was a solution to the situation before that, when every room was in videos and it permanently felt like they were living in sets.

why hide couple holidays? they haven't since before coming out! they also go on a lot of double dates.

no sorries on the confusion and thank you for the chance to infodump!

[unloneliest]

🪄😄

hi tash!!! i'm 🥰‼️ over seeing ur tags on that post !!

current mountain goats lyrics kicking me in the ass is a MIX of things. i've been back on my life of the world to come bullshit a lot lately which is. saying a lot. but today? weekend in western illinois. all of it. i listened to it on repeat the whole time i was at the groccery store earlier.

i cannot explain why but weekend in western illinois/full force galesburg and meanwhile/crush by richard siken share a landscape to me. like. these dogs. this town. it's the same.

if i have to vote for a single lyric from weekend in western illinois it is hands down "we are for some reason all the time bleeding" but the whole song so tightly in context is really what makes the effect for me.

other current top goats lyrics? "i will do what you ask me to do because of how i feel about you" from genesis 30:3 and "i am digging graves" from chanson du bon chose are kind of messily kissing with tongue in my brain whilst crying. i've been rotating some of my OCs in my mind lately and i'm not done cooking them but these are certainly ingredience. i could. write an entire essay on this actually.

+ star dusting is a december song to me, though it's not the most present in my mind on a day to day basis. "i thought i heard bells ringing but then i remembered i no longer knew what bells sounded like" + the ringing coming from the person the narrator is singing to's throat? something about that is so devastating to me

[freckliedan]

Wait you reblogged something about dnp getting outed before the height of the careers? Did I miss something lol when were they outed

oh my god. i love that this is not something everyone knows anymore. but it's also absolutely fucking insane to me that this knowledge could potentially be lost. it's the biggest piece of context necessary for understanding them.

they were outed in 2011 on a smaller scale and again in 2012 on a massive scale, both times by the same video.

on september 17th of 2011 there was a platform wide glitch on youtube where, at random, a bunch of videos that had been uploaded and listed as private were suddenly unprivatized.

one of the videos that was unprivatized was a deeply earnest private message to dan that phil uploaded on february 13th of 2010, because dan was in india with his family and it was their first valentine's day together. there are a lot of intimate details about their early relationship in this video.

it gets called the vday or valentine's day video by phannies because it was titled ":3".

it was only up for a couple hours, but there are posts from phannies within that span. they reached out to people asking that it not be circulated with a poor cover story (that it was a prank they thought better of because it would be too mean).

people did not publicly circulate it for a period of time, but on halloween of 2012 it got posted publicly and got spread everywhere immediately. that's the second and more major outing.

in the years of like, 2013 thru the end of tatinof era at least but likely longer than that? if it got posted anywhere publicly it would get copyright struck by phil and removed. i don't have a definitive end date but the copyright strikes aren't still happening.

the leak is absolutely what lead to the peak era of dan and phil's closeting. understanding their need for control and how momentous it is that they trust us with anything requires knowledge of this context, imo.

i don't reccomend watching it. i haven't in some time.

i am open about the fact that i did watch it as a teenager in november of 2012, back when it was still circulating on tumblr. when i returned a couple weeks later to rewatch it, the entire blog i'd originally seen it on had been nuked for copyright infringement, and that wasn't uncommon for the era.

it was a really bad time in the phandom. dan briefly made a "customer service" sideblog & vehemently shut down people speculating on his sexuality/relationship with phil.

all of the archival information we have on dan and phil—the dailybooths, the formsprings, the old tweets, the videos they've taken off their channels, liveshows, vyous, etc? so much of that information was saved despite dan and phil trying to eradicate it in the immediate aftermath of the leak.

it's incredible that we still have it all, and even more incredible that images from phannie archives have made it into their videos several times from 2019 onward. their relationship with us has changed so drastically since 2012, in ways beyond what we could've imagined at the time.

yes, they were outed. that's the context for everything.

[unloneliest]

fuck marry kill: tmg albums

thank you so fucking much for this ask i just saw your post and was like oh my god that would be so fun to figure out. also oh my god this was so hard and i think it'd be fun to do for smaller ranges of their discography too bc i LOVE so much of the hi fi part of their discography but somehow this is all low fi

fuck:

vibeswise this is the sexiest collection of songs that they have like there are other songs w sexy basslines but never in a sitch where legitimately the entire album or EP ticks that box for me. songs for peter hughes could show me a good time we'd have fun

marry:

i could build a home in the landscapes of this album. what i recognize in it recognizes me back. & seeing the liner note quote on the annotated mountain goats??? well,

extremely difficult call for my poly ass though. beautiful rat sunset is basically tied because of how dear to me it is and how closely in my heart it sits with full force galesburg and on a different day i might've chosen the other way around

kill:

yam king of the crops is nothing to me sorry to all the yam king of the crops lovers out there & goodbye yam <3. the only song i care about off of this is quetzalcoatl comes through & that's really just bc i love @canis-la-trans so much and a line from it was his blog title at one point maybe?

[freckliedan]

This is is very plate of corn coded but I thought it’d fit your fuck energy tag. I was watching phil’s old videos and noticed that in some of them there’s a pillow (or a bedsheet? sometimes even a plushie) very blatantly shoved in between the headboard of the bed and the wall like he was Umm.. trying to stop the bed from making noise/banging against the wall…???? You can see it in A to Z of me, The Change and The Holy Mother

anon i'm obsessed with you how is this plate of corn coded. come back. please elaborate on that.

this ABSOLUTELY fits my fuck energy tag. i literally never would've caught that but you're so right.

it's killing me that even less of the same pillow is visible between the change and a-z of me. hey. um?????? really good catch.

[unloneliest]

album ask: transcendental youth??

ooh thank you for the ask! i love transcendental youth so much, it's the second goats album i got into- the first i listened to when i started branching out for myself after the first album i was recommended!

the best song on the album: i think amy is - to me it's a spell, just like this year. i will make it through this year if it kills me. do every stupid thing that makes you feel alive. incantations that bless us all.

my favorite song on the album: harlem roulette, i think? it's tangled up in some very sweet memories for me, and it's just so good on the ears. my pretentious answer to this is the cover of tomorrow released as a bonus track for the album in japan.

my least favorite song on the album: until i am whole just really does not fucking do it for me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i'm most likely to skip it of every song on the album

the most overrated song on the album: as stated. i just don't get the until i am whole hype - i know it's a trans song to a lot of folks but it just is a #nothinggirl to me sorry

most underrated: transcendental youth itself, i think! it's so fucking good and i don't think i ever see it talked about. it's the song on the cover of the album to me.

the banger of all bangers: cry for judas fucks, and leaving it off this list would break my heart, so.

rate from 0-10: i'm terrible with numbers so this might not end up at all consistant ranking for me. 7.5 or 8? the whole album is cohesive and i love it, but there's just a handful of songs i connect with less/that mean less to me so it ranks lower for that reason.

[freckliedan]

again. devastatingly cool that five years down the line dan's posting in his insta story about being reccomended these exact socks to buy.

uwu !!! sskskskskksksk!!!! vibe check!!!

emo vsco dan because @thotdaniel has an impact and i got a request to draw dan in all of his thotiness so i delivered 

Please don’t repost

[jennyfromthebes]

2025:

DO EVERY STUPID THING TO TRY TO DRIVE THE DARK AWAY

NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY, WE'RE GOING TO BE OKAY

HANG ON TO YOUR GOODNESS WHEN YOU CAN

BRING BACK SOME BLURRY PICTURES TO REMEMBER ALL YOUR DARKER MOMENTS BY

BE READY AND BE BRAVE

MAKE YOUR OWN FRIENDS WHEN THE WORLD'S GONE COLD

PLAY REALLY LOUD MUSIC ALL HOURS OF THE NIGHT

IN A WORLD OF HEAVY FOOTPRINTS, BE UNTRACEABLE

DON'T LET ANYONE SEE THAT YOU'RE BLEEDING

REST UNTIL YOU'RE RESTED

JUST STAY ALIVE

[freckliedan]

could you expand on your thoughts why you think dan and phil havent always been monogamous? super curious! i kind of get the same vibe.

i'm happy to expand on it tbh! it's something i think and talk a lot about with my friends.

i'm hesitant about going in depth because i've found that's when people find it okay to say deeply shitty things to me, a polyamorous person, under the guise of academic debate/it just being a difference of opinion. but i'm also not going to let the possibility of that stop me?

ANYWAYS.

quite honestly the biggest thing for me is just. taking dan and phil at their word? even when parsing something true through them saying things in silly ways that's the easiest way to be right about them.

we noticed and believed in the underlying truth in their gay jokes before they were out. people are willing to entertain the bondage and mpreg and various other horny jokes as containing some kernel of truth. more people than literally any point in time are willing to believe there's some substance to dan's career-long mentions of gender.

but for whatever reason (mononormativity) the comments about them being attracted to/flirting with/being interested in other people get written off as 100% joking and funny because they're the most monogamous people ever & because they get jealous easily. and that just? sucks.

i think they've always been committed. like, phil brought dan home to meet his parents at their very first christmas together type committed. planning to spend the rest of their lives together from 3 months into the relationship committed.

but also like? that coexists with the fact that dan wasn't able to come out to himself as gay until the lead up to basically i'm gay. 2018 or maybe 2017, i think. @freckliephil or @phulge has brought up the idea to me before that part of why they didn't label their relationship to us in 2019 may have been because they were still in flux with labeling it for themselves.

dan has also always had commitment issues due to how he saw his parents' relationship function/due to his home life growing up and i'm NOT going to elaborate on this one but it is so obvious.

(consider this whole post informed by conversations with aries and roper btw).

i think the idea that dan and phil were secure in their connection but not in a place where they had to (or could, on dan's part) ascribe labels to it in the early years is realistic?

and i think their commitment and security can coexist with the idea of like. "i think it's hot seeing you kiss other people for attention at parties and come home with me". + i genuinely think the fantastic foursome explored each other's bodies on the italy trip. etc.

i definitely think there would've been huge stretches of monogamy, and i do think that there was jealousy before they found their footing and felt comfortable in their commitment. (different rant, but i think most of what gets read as jealousy these days is them dong a bit/possessiveness).

but i think there's also always been points in time where they were either theoretically or in practice fine with having sexual experiences with other people. that wouldn't've really been possible during their deep closet era, and i don't think it was COMMON beforehand.

but i also think that it's definitely something possible after they came out.

i think people hear me say this and assume i'm degrading the incredible and beautiful love and commitment dan and phil share. that i'm reducing queer men's relationships down to sex only.

but like. i'm not fucking doing that! the people making those assumptions are doing that! and saying a lot about how they view non monogamy too!

i'm saying i think they're so secure in their love and relationship that they're literally completely unbothered and not threatened by potentially having an open relationship. devotion is not only present in monogamous relationships.

WAD makes sense as a point of post coming out timing for another open period in their relationship to me. quite honestly i could see phil being the one to suggest it to dan? 2019 thru the close of WAD was dan's self actualization era.

growing up in the context of a single committed relationship does things to you psychologically. your identity formation happens side by side with another person and even if the relationship isn't controlling and toxic you can really lose sight of your individuality, if you're not careful. this is even easier to have happen if you share all of your friends, live together, AND work together. ESPECIALLY if you're significantly closeted in some way.

i know this because i've also lived it. believe me when i say dan NEEDED to figure out who he was as an individual. we saw him do that in several iterations artistically/careerwise. but we also saw his interest in experiencing queer culture in ways he missed out on when he was young and closeted.

so i think dan actually WAS on the apps, when he was touring WAD. i wouldn't be surprised if that was phil's idea, even. a "don't worry, go see the world, we've been open before, i'm not worried you won't want to come home to me, nobody's gonna match your freak like i do". i think phil would've had the option too but probably would've taken it less.

and i think it's like. like they're best friends! it's something they would've been talking about with each other. i think it could've been foreplay to them sometimes. i think it could've been what catapaulted dan into his top era. (this is a seperate essay from drs. frecklie, frecklie and phulge as well).

most importantly we think dan came back from the first leg of WAD having completely exorcised his fear of commitment and. wait i have to find a specific message. nevermind you're getting 3 screenshots without any further context

anyways. i can't find the specific point where we said this so it was maybe an in person conversation but the rest of the idea is that experiencing other options resulted in dan coming back from WAD and proposing. and phil proposing the gaming channel return right back. we 1000% said this before phil mentioned that he's the one who suggested the gaming channel return i just can NOT fucking find receipts on that because we largely voice message.

this has been an entire ramble that touched on a lot of different subjects but. yeah. dan and phil aren't polyamorous in the "both dating another person as a couple/other people as individuals" sense nor will they ever be. but there's sooo much room between that and strict monogamy.

and a lot of that in between is in perfect alignment with the ways they've talked about their lives over the years and is yet another extension of them having a level of trust love and intimacy in their relationship that most people will never experience. so

thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[unloneliest]

hey older sibling jam im yearning again. what's it like to be married it sounds so cool

hi baby sibling henrypartridge (love love love the new name btw !! )💞💛❣️ i hope your yearning gets to bloom into connection someday soon !!

being married IS cool & here's a truth: i feel so lucky every single day !!!

there was a point in my life when i couldn't imagine myself finding a relationship, let alone getting married someday; i thought love was for other people, if it existed, and that was a big if. and that was a scary way to live!

but here's what i've discovered: the thing about being in love is that it can look any kind of way. no two loves are the same, because it's something you build with somebody else.

so i get to live with my best friend, and that means we both always have somebody on our team. we get to have sleepovers every night, and it's easier to fall asleep even though we go to bed at different times nearly always. it's finding someone to share your art and laughter and fears and routines and memories and struggles and pleasures with, and just continuing to choose that every single day.

i think the person you marry should be someone that it makes you feel safer to have at your back in situations known and unknown, and getting to have that makes the world a kinder home to live in.

it's hard to describe! the way i've been in love has been such a big part of my life for so long that it feels like trying to describe breathing.

maybe it's only been a little over a year that we've been married on paper, but it's been over 9—since before we were even together—that i knew art was the only person i could picture myself marrying, and probably over ten years by now that we've had some kind of reciprocal crush, though it took a long time to figure that out. we've considered ourselves married for years now, even before it made sense to let the government know; i cried so hard at his high school graduation because i got struck with the realization that i was going to marry them, someday.

i'm lucky! it's been my whole adult life and then some! so it's something i feel so completely unqualified to put it in words, because i know no other way of being. but i hope this answers your question, darling 💛

[freckliedan]

this is the very first hits different post. btw

All old videos are going to hit different now

[freckliedan]

ok wait everything is so much all the time this video was so fucking much but we need to go back a second. we gotta backtrack to gender journey mention. bc hey. hey. hello

IN WHAT UNIVERSE HAS SCOOBY-DO EVER HAD A GENDER JOURNEY. DAN ARE YOU JUST TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF? FUCKING SOS.

[freckliedan]

omgomg What hornyposting have they done - same anon :3c

check out my fuck energy tag for receipts on varying levels of overtly horny moments to things that ping for me but possibly not universally. but also, an in depth but not exhaustive list:

they have a bondage bar on their bed which dan has flippantly replied to a tweet about

sister daniel video

the april fools nude

dan probably agrees that phil is naturally ginger despite his hair color being an auburny brown at best due to pube color. sorry that i said it out loud rather than keeping it implied.

interactive introverts shock buzzers shown im witl were bought from an online sex store, dan told us on twitter

halloween pumpkin carving video has "so horny they're stupid" energy, dan's in a mesh shirt

this ii era liveshow in australia; the next video on the gaming channel was of the dumber ways to die mobile app.

ii era "getting that d vitamin" shirtless dan selfie ft clothes in the bushes behind him. photo taken on a brief break from touring when dnp + martyn and cornelia were spending a few days on vacation. "lapping up the d vitamin" comments about phil as well in a liveshow afterwards

phil's ii era side to side by ariana grande insta story

phil's mysterious white stain on his costume shirt insta story from the lead up to ii

"please be gentle with the handcuffs, i have sensitive skin" from witl/ii—sensitive skin is usually about like.. being sensitive to scented soaps and stuff. this is not an intuitive connection to make. it leads me to believe that's knowledge they have from experience

when the ii dvd was released, the bbc rated it whatever it rated it (can't remember) because of a couple engaging in erotic roleplay (amongst other reasons) which dan acknowledged on twitter and did not disagree with at all

dan's horny attitude about dentist visits

handcuffs and videogames sims moment

dan's kinky tumblr reblogs from the era when it was normal to rb softcore porn on here, including a fair amount of horny qbout blood posts

in that light: dan wrote and published the urge

phil bringing up mpreg as often as he does pings as horny for me; the hand falls into this category in a deeply bizzare manner imo

phil recognizing a delivery guy from gay emo porn

dan hogtied in christmas garland on their breakfast bar in manchester

dan's 2009 nakedbooths—nudes posted largely to flirt with phil. particularly the nakedbooth dan posted of himself in phil's bedroom where phil's holding lion in frame to censor dan's dick

phil's "milk" dailybooth

dan's "i WANT you to tie me up" dailybooth comment on phil holding up a belt

dan on formspring answering whether he swallows or spits

dan replying to someone in the comments of a phil vid pointing out hickies he had after dan visited him in 2009

uma thurman tweet

formspring answers about cherry & piña colada lube + cherry reference in the vday vid + sleuths online spotting specific lube in one of their suitcases at one point

phil used to post constant thirst traps before dan came into the picture have you SEEN ry @dnphobe's emo boy edit?? have you seen phil's check yes juliet and toxic vids????

thank you for coming to my ted talk, i know i'm missing loads.

[freckliedan]

it's really cool how six years later dan posted on instagram about being reccomended this exact skirt to buy.

well i saw an anon ask this to @phandomsub and i….. I… got inspired, im sorry raych omg Please don’t repost my art! Reblogs and likes are appreciated! More art!  |Instagram |  Redbubble  | Twitter  | Ko-fi @danielhowell