#jamiemalcolm

[thekingofspin]

[themf-scholar]

This is what Malcolm Tucker looked like when Jamie met him

[meremontage]

look at his fixed gaze. look at that step forward. “i did a good thing”. thats typical dog mannerism right there jamie macdonald i know what you are

[eeriedragone]

These guys would make me cry in .5 seconds

House crossover goes out to the friend who listened to me ramble about these fuckers (and special mention to @username0derogatory0 , saw your post while going through the tag. i doubt that this is what you where imagining but i tried haha)

Doodles of Paul Higgins as Michael Dugdale and Jamie MacDonald: it is hilarious to me that this guy hot two roles as a government official character, but with basically opposite personalities. Dugdale is pushed around by tides he doesn‘t understand, Jamie is a tsunami personified.I suck at drawing him but I‘ll get there.

[everydaywomble]

[half-an-hour-hence]

I loved your Jamie x Malcolm head cannons! Do you have any more?

Absolutely! It’s been a while since I’ve done a TTOI post. Here’s a few of them:

Who initiates hugs?

Hugs don’t really exist in their relationship - the closest things that could be considered a hug would be Jamie splaying his limbs over Malcolm when they are able to get a decent night’s sleep or Malcolm wrapping his arm around Jamie’s shoulders at the office parties after drinking half of his body weight in whiskey.

Who wants to hug longer?

Jamie would love a hug every once in a while, and has voiced this only once, because Malcolm subsequently took the piss out of him and called him a sappy cunt exclusively for two weeks straight. Malcolm has only wanted a hug on one occasion due to a horribly unexpected feeling of emotional vulnerability, but would never dare to voice this out loud.

Who borrows the other’s phone charger?

Jamie, but that’s only happened once. They’re both very conscious about their phones and the maintenance of a high battery percentage.

Who loses their keys/wallet?

Again, they’re usually both very aware of these things, but Malcolm has a tendency to leave his keys in his desk drawer and forget them after a particularly strenuous day.

Who’s better with money?

Malcolm is very good with money. He cannot and will not spend more than is necessary for him to, unless it’s a special occasion like having to buy gifts for family member’s birthdays or having to bribe a journalist or civil servant into keeping their traps shut. Jamie tends to be more impulsive, but not ridiculously so.

Who needs/gets more sleep?

Malcolm desperately needs more sleep. The man has Red Bull and coffee coursing through his bloodstream and several departments full of fuck ups that he has to monitor ON TOP OF doing his actual job. Install a bed in his office or something. Jamie gets a relatively decent amount of sleep for someone who works in government (I.e. nowhere near the recommended amount, but enough to not look like something out of the Walking Dead).

Who’s more laid back and who’s more hard working?

Professionally, they’re both extremely hard working and would throttle you if you even hinted at them being remotely laid back. In a more domestic setting, Malcolm likes to continue to work pretty much whenever he’s at home, and Jamie likes to take a break every so often to watch the footy on the TV.

Who has more empathy?

Again, it depends on whether we’re speaking professionally or not. At work, empathy is a foreign concept except when dealing with members of the public or when they’re faking it. At home, they can both be surprisingly empathetic towards each other.

If they were to adopt a pet together, what kind of pet would it be?

It would be a cat. It’s low maintenance and can get out during the day. They’d get it one of those automatic food dispenser things so it could be fed while they were at work. And it would sleep on Malcolm’s chest whenever he falls asleep on the sofa in the middle of watching Newsnight. Jamie names it something ridiculous and Malcolm refuses to call it by its name, so he refers to it solely as ‘the cat’ around Jamie, but in private has come up with a cute abbreviation of the horrid name that he will take to the grave. (Oh and it’s an orange cat)

Who’s more outgoing?

Neither, unless they’re talking to members of the public. Then it’s a competition to see who can butter them up the most (Jamie’s winning on the account of one man being disturbed by Malcolm’s ‘sunken facial features’ and ‘shifty eyes’ {which Jamie brings up frequently})

What’s their love language?

Verbal abuse and alcoholism <3 (in all seriousness I couldn’t tell you - any ideas?)

Are they hiding any secrets from each other?

Oh yeah. Every once in a while they drop the odd insane piece of lore that the other wasn’t previously familiar with. It makes for an incredibly entertaining evening of interrogation on the subject.

Which one is more likely to cheat?

Neither would even entertain the idea. If they didn’t want to be in a relationship anymore they’d both have the balls to say so. Plus they have more respect for each other than to go behind each other’s backs.

Who sleeptalks?

Jamie. It’s not regular, but it happens sometimes. And it’s always a running commentary about his dreams in which the most random shit happens, like that one time he dreamt he going to see Al Jolson live and it actually ending up being Julius Nicholson in disguise. Malcolm either resorts to sleeping on the couch or throwing a cup of ice cold water on Jamie’s face depending on how urgently he needs to take the piss out of the things Jamie’s muttering about.

[ferret-propaganda]

Everyone say thank you chappell roan 🙏

[tam-a-ne-tut]

i know there are like 8 people in the whole world who are in active state of the thick of it obsession so if this playlist find you through the internet it was meant for you

[espooky]

I'm really normal about him actually

[thekingofspin]

old man yaoi save me

[themf-scholar]

This Jamie with this Malcolm

[anteroom-of-death]

JAMIEMALC SMUT SAVE ME

[chaoticpallascat]

Headcannon: The Thick Of Doctor Who

The show about the bureaucracy side of having ALIENS IN CENTRAL LONDON. Where Malcolm and Jamie try to keep all the alien stuff undercover.

Mostly involves Christmas shananigans and the Doctor, aka "his highness the royal fuck up"

Pre-Saxon Master Malcolm and Jamie liased with Torchwood London, aka "the flying saucers"/"the alien nutters", and hated them. UNIT was more or less a foreign relations matter so they acted somewhat politely, especially around Kate (definitely NOT because they were a little scared of her).

They have a friendly relationship with Jack and Ianto, otherwise lovingly called "stupid pretentious manslut faggots" (by Jamie) or "Fucking fuckers in the fucking Ocean" (by Malcolm). They came to know each other when Malcolm and Jamie got kicked over (kidnapped) to the Himalayas by the Saxon Master, because they couldn't be mind fucked.

The relationship consists mainly of homoerotic banter, but sometimes Jack talks to Malcolm on a roof and Ianto helps liasing with UNIT. Sometimes Jamie kills a few stories in Cardiff media, and Malcolm moves the schedule of MPs when they had to be retconned, on VERY SHORT NOTICE (hence the nicknames). But Jamie and Malcolm are privately somewhat protective of Torchwood.

The 12th Doctor and Malcolm met once. IT WAS HILARIOUS.

[everydaywomble]

I don't have functional lungs quite yet, but boy do I have memes

[half-an-hour-hence]

‘Malcy’ … ‘love and fucks’ … the kisses at the end…

They’re so in love it makes me physically ill

[thekingofspin]

TELL THAT TO JAMIE MACDONALD.

there is no heterosexual explanation to this.