#jer reader mode

[jerxiong]

Currently reading: "Magically Black and Other Essays" by Jerald Walker (Amistad, 2024)

Imagine my surprise and immediate delight when I came across this in Libby! Jerald Walker is one of my favorite essayists--great storyteller, great commentary on race through humor and irony. For some reason, I never caught the news that he had a new book coming out, so I had no idea. Just the other day, I remembered that I didn't have his previous collection because I had gifted it to a friend, and now I'm sad that I don't have that book. Walker is one of those authors where I KNOW I need to buy the book because I'll be referring back to it often as an essayist.

I got a chance to listen to almost halfway through the book in one day because I was without a car and taking a train and bus to get around. It accompanied me throughout that afternoon, and the signature humor made me smile.

I usually don't read two books at once, but this one is an audiobook while the other one is a print book, so I read one or the other whenever the moment calls for it. Can't wait to finish this book.

[i-smoke-chapstick]

I was running around hobby lobby with my older sister and let’s just say, I give her heart attacks and headaches. Literally I’m running around the store going “Oohh wants that?” Or “omg I need to get this” (I only have 20$) and I’d like to imagine jervis going full on parent (panic) mode while following reader around a store or in this scenario, hobby lobby. Basically fits the Alice persona with being distracted easily and running around the place and him just like “Darling wait for me-“, “where did you run off to now?!” or “We can’t buy that, it won’t fit in the car-“ etc. omg the stress he’d be under while also still letting reader buy it because why the hell not.

YESS!!! THIS!!!

I think about shopping with my f/os CONSTANTLY.

Jervis 100% has never had to pay for anything in his LIFE. Hes offering to hypnotize anyone for you. He doesn’t care about your 20$, he will FIND A WAY to hypnotize the cashier into giving you what you want for free, AND the money from the register!!!!

Also reader just being all excited to shop, jer is TRYING to keep up. He is definitely under copius amounts of stress. But, he doesn’t mind shopping with his Alice, It just depends on what stores your going to!

For instance, he will happily go window shopping! Any pretty dresses, china cups, snow globes…he will gladly buy you. He loves going antique shopping. Its a small store, so he can’t lose you! Not to mention, its more his aesthetic.

But grocery store shopping? god forbid, a COSTCO?? a WALMART.. HOBBY LOBBY?? the biggest convience stores you can imagine in Gotham?? Oh dear, he is certainly panicking. WHERE DID HIS LITTLE RABBIT GO??? Hes sweating, hes tweaking out, hes hypnotizing every store clerk if they saw a woman matching your description ; jervis…you can just ask them.

Turns out you just got trapped giggling around the numerous toy aisles. Or just went to the bathroom. Wherever you were, when he finds you, hes VERY relieved and very astounded. Let him catch his breath.

You…might be hypnotized to stay away from stores in the future. Or better yet? Hypnotized to stay with him at home for a week. He’ll get some poor sap to fetch you your supplies instead…the two of you can cuddle ;)

[imagines-all-day-everyday]

A Hunting Trip (Part 1)

pairing: dean winchester x reader x damon salvatore

summary: Typical chaos and drama is unfurling in Mystic Falls when two unexpected arrive from *yn*'s childhood arrive and change everything.

warnings: swearing, hinted fluff (I think that’s it...?) 

notes: This is an alternate AU where the SPN & TVD timelines match up ok? ok. Set in Season 3 of TVD.

Series Masterlist

"This is so not how I thought our senior year was going to start." *yn* huffed as she slumped down into a chair at the Mystic Grill.

"Preaching to the choir." Caroline huffed.

"Cheese fry?" Elena offered.

"Please." *yn* groaned dramatically as she leant forward and plucked one from the bowl in Elena's hand.

"You know what would be great?"

"What's that?" Bonnie queried as she joined the three girls at the table, a tray full of milkshakes in hand.

"If Stefan just magically woke up one day with his humanity completely in tact and a strong desire to make amends with Klaus."

"Hey, we can dream." Caroline remarked dryly as she plucked a vanilla milkshake from Bonnie's tray.

"Ugh Bonnie it's like you read my mind, thank you." *yn* spoke as she selected the chocolate one, moaning as she took a sip.

"So we've all had a crappy week huh?" Bonnie queried.

"Yep, Tyler is still sired to stupid Klaus." Caroline grumbled.

"And my neck is still aching from when one of his stupid henchmen tried to have me for lunch." *yn* huffed, rubbing at her neck as she spoke.

"And Jeremy, my only real blood relative left, had to be sent away to be protected from Klaus." Elena chimed in, smiling sarcastically as she chewed on another fry.

"Yeah, we definitely deserve to drown our sorrows in milkshakes and fries." Caroline remarked causing the other girls to laugh.

"At least someone seems to be having a good day." Bonnie remarked, sending a nod in the direction behind their table.

The girls all swung around to see Alaric chatting and laughing with a pretty woman.

"Elena I'll give you $10 if you go up and ask Ric if that's your new mummy." *yn* teased causing the other girls to erupt into giggles as Elena shoved her playfully.

They watched as the woman left, walking straight past Damon Salvatore who had just sauntered into the grill. *yn* locked eyes with him briefly and he shot her a classic smirk before turning his attention to Alaric.

She rolled her eyes discreetly and turned her attention back to the girls who were now animately discussing the prom.

After a few hours of gossiping *yn* could feel herself growing restless. She glanced over at the bar to see Damon and Ric still seated there, a bottle of bourbon between them.

"Hey guys, what do you say we get something to drink a little stronger than milkshakes?" *yn* piped up. “It’s a Friday night and I think we deserve to have a little fun.”

"I'm so in." Caroline chimed in instantly causing *yn* to grin, she could always rely on Care to have a good time.

"Yeah you know what, so am I." Bonnie spoke up, nodding her head determinately. "If I don't deserve a drink after my boyfriend literally cheated on me with a ghost, I don't know when I will."

The three all turned to Elena expectantly. Her eyes darted between the three of them for a few moments and *yn* could practically see the devil and angel appear on either shoulder as she internally debated with herself. 

"Screw it, I'm in too." She relented much to the girls surprise causing them all to let out a squeal.

"Ok Caroline go and compel us a bottle of vodka please and thank you.” *yn* playfully demanded.

“Uh and be busted by our history teacher? No thank you.” Caroline scoffed.

“Hey don’t look at me!” Elena exclaimed, holding her hands up defensively when they all turned to her. “Ric’s currently in ultimate dad mode, especially with how Jer’s been acting lately.” She continued, shooting Bonnie an apologetic look at the mention of Jeremy.

“Ok well that leaves us with our only hope.” Caroline sighed.

“Uh - I’m sorry have I missed something?” *yn* queried when all eyes fell on her.

“Well, Ric happens to be sitting right next to Damon.” She continued. 

“Very observant Care, good to see you have working eyes.” *yn* remarked causing the other girls to snicker. Caroline rolled her eyes and crossed her arms as she shot *yn* a pointed look.

“The very same Damon that is like literally wrapped around your finger.” She shot back causing the smirk to drop from *yn*’s face. “Ergo, you have a shot at having him convince Ric to turn a blind eye.” 

This time it was Caroline’s turn to look smug as the girls now giggled at *yn*’s blushing face.

“It’s called being friends actually.” *yn* answered, unable to hide the defensive edge in her tone.

“Really? So you think if you go over there and ask him he won’t do literally everything in his power to make sure you get what you want?” Caroline queried, raising a challenging brow. 

*yn* glanced behind Caroline to see Alaric had gotten up from his chair to go to the bathroom, leaving Damon sitting alone. She prayed that he currently wasn’t using his vampire hearing to listen to this conversation. 

“I think he’ll try to help a friend out.” *yn* emphasised as she rose up from her chair. 

“Whatever you say.” Caroline mused as Bonnie and Elena continued to watch on in amusement. She shook her head, unable to fight the small smile that threatened to emerge on her features as she made her way up to the bar.

She slid in between two stools so she was leaning against the bar, her body facing Damon as she looked at him expectantly. 

“Hey Damon.” She greeted, flashing him an innocent smile.

He paused with his bourbon glass at his lips as he turned to look at her. “Oh no. I know that look.” He sighed, tilting his head back and letting the liquor slide down his throat. 

“What do you want?” 

“Damon Salvatore.” She gasped, placing a hand over her heart. “Can I not just come over to say hello to a dear friend without being accused of having some sort of ulterior motive?” 

“No you cannot, especially not when you do that cute little fluttery thing you do with your eyes. That means you want something.” He explained as he began to pour himself another glass. 

*yn* fought the urge to blush at Damon nonchalantly calling her cute, instead keeping her face looking as innocent as possible. 

Damon took a sip of his drink before motioning with his hand, “out with it.”

She dropped the smile from her face and let out a relenting huff. “Fine, we need you to compel the bartender to give us a bottle of vodka and convince Ric to not go all dad mode on us.” 

Her words caused Damon to let out a small chuckle of amusement as he shook his head. “Yeah cause that’ll work.” 

“Please Damon.” She pleaded, “We just want to have a fun night without drama.” 

He studied her for a moment, noting her puppy dog eyes and slightly pouted lips. “What’s in it for me?” 

A pause before, “you’ll have my eternal gratitude?” She offered up, shooting him another innocent smile. 

Damon felt a smirk threaten to twitch up onto his lips as he shook his head, already feeling whatever resolve he had crumbling around him. He could never say no to her.

“Save me a dance later-” He spoke, motioning to the dance floor that was beginning to form in the centre of the grill. “And we’ll call it even.”

A huge grin split across *yn*’s face as Damon motioned the bartender over. “Damon Salvatore you can have as many dances as you want.” She mused as she squeezed his shoulder as he compelled the bartender. “Thank you.” 

“Don’t thank me yet, I still have to convince Ric.” Damon remarked, turning to her with a vodka bottle in his hand. 

“Eternal gratitude, remember?” She teased, giving his shoulder one last squeeze as she plucked the bottle from his grasp. 

He shook his head, taking a sip of his drink as he watched her hurriedly make her way back towards Bonnie, Elena and Caroline. He felt an intense wave of fondness wash over him as he watched her. 

Yeah, he was so screwed. 

“Bottle secure.” *yn* announced proudly as she slammed it down onto the table.

“I’ve got to say, I wish I had a ‘friend’ like that.” Bonnie remarked.

“Yeah same, I could do with a ‘friend’ right now.” Caroline added, causing all three of them to burst into giggles.

“I hate you guys.” *yn* huffed which only caused her friends to laugh harder.

“Ok *yn*.” Elena spoke up.

“Yes Miss Gilbert?” *yn* queried, her brows raised in amusement as she watched Elena let out a giggle. 

The four had been sitting at the table for about an hour now and while *yn* was only slightly buzzed, it was safe to say the other three were well on their way to being quite drunk.

“I have to ask....what the hell is going on with you and Damon?” 

Here we go. 

“Like I said before, there’s nothing going on. We’re just friends.” *yn* answered back which made all three girls roll their eyes simultaneously. 

“Why is that so hard for you guys to believe?” She chuckled in disbelief.

“Maybe because since we’ve been here Damon has been unable to keep his eyes off you for longer than two minutes.” Caroline remarked.

*yn* swivelled around in her chair to look at Damon to see him perched on his bar stool with his back to them, very clearly engaged in a conversation with Ric.

“And he can’t stop flirting with you.” Bonnie added as *yn* turned her attention back to her friends.

“Please, Damon flirts with everyone.” *yn* scoffed as she took a sip of her drink. “Trust me he doesn’t like me like that.”

“And what about you? Do you like him like that?” Elena asked her.

*yn* felt blood rush to her cheeks at Elena’s question. If she was fully honest with herself she knew what the answer was. That she most definitely had developed a crush on the oldest Salvatore brother. 

But she could never admit it, because first and foremost Damon definitely didn’t like her in that way and secondly, even if he did, he had no idea who she really was. Where she came from. And if he did, things would get very ugly.

What none of them saw was the way Damon’s grip on his glass tightened ever so slightly at her words. His ears straining as he waited on edge for *yn*’s response. 

“You know, I really need to go to the bathroom.” She spoke, quickly rising from her seat. The girls all let out moans and shouts of protests as she pushed her seat in.

“I’ll be back.”

“Fine, I’m going to go compel the bartender to put on some actually decent music. I think it’s time we get this party properly started.” Caroline announced as she too rose from her seat.

“Oooh yes dancing!” Elena exclaimed excitedly. “Meet us back on the dance floor *yn*!” She continued as she sprung up from her seat to drag Bonnie onto the dance floor.

*yn* laughed and nodded before heading off to the bathroom, unaware of Damon’s eyes following her every move as she did so. 

Caroline let out a low whistle causing both Elena and Bonnie to turn their attention to her.

“Ok who the hell are they?” She breathed out as she stared at the entrance to the grill. They followed her gaze, landing on two tall guys making their way towards the bar. 

The shorter one was wearing a leather jacket and had shorter hair, the taller more lanky one was wearing a plaid shirt and had scruffy hair with a thick fringe. 

“I don’t know but they’re insanely hot.” Bonnie observed. 

“Agreed.” Elena murmured, “Oh well, dance time!” She drunkenly shouted, grabbing Bonnie’s arm and tugging her towards the dance floor.

“This town is kind of nice.” Sam observed as his eyes slid over the town square.

“Yeah really nice if you discount the fact it’s got the highest number of deaths and missing persons in the country.” Dean remarked as he guided the impala into a parking spot.

“I’m surprised no one’s picked up on it before, the deaths go back to the 1800s.” Sam spoke as Dean killed the engine.

“Maybe they did but didn’t make it out alive to talk about it.” Dean answered as they both hopped out of the car.

“I don’t know about you, but I could do with a drink.” He continued as his eyes fell on a flashing sign that read ‘Mystic Grill’. 

“Me too.” Sam agreed as he shut his door. “Besides, good way to scope out the locals I guess.” 

With that the pair made their way inside. Music and chatter instantly filled their ears as they opened the door. Their eyes darted around at the locals who were all talking and dancing happily. 

“Wow a small town that actually knows how to have fun on a Friday night.” Dean remarked, unable to hide the impressed expression on his features as the pair made their way to the bar. 

His gaze slid to two men also at the bar that were about ten metres from them. One had jet black hair, the other was slightly older with brown hair and stubble. As if they sensed his gaze, both turned their heads. Dean’s eyes locked with the blue ones of the man with the black hair. 

Dean felt something ripple through him as his hairs on the back of his neck stood up. His hunter instinct was ringing alarm bells all throughout his body. The man shot him an almost mocking smirk and raised his glass up to him in greeting before turning his back to him once more.

“I already got a funny feeling about this town.” Dean mumbled under his breath to Sam as he turned his attention to the bartender. 

Sam didn’t respond as he looked around the bar. He froze when his gaze fell on a girl making her way out of the bathroom. She looked so achingly familiar. He watched as she made her way to a table and picked up a drink. Then it hit him.

“No way.” He breathed out causing Dean to jerk his head around.

“What is it Sammy?” Dean queried as Sam took a few steps towards her. Dean stepped out from behind Sam to see him staring at a girl whose back was to them as she made her way towards the dance floor. 

“I think that’s *yn*.” Sam spoke, causing Dean’s brow to furrow in confusion.

“*yn*? As in *yn* Kitson?” 

“*yn*!” Sam called out, ignoring Dean’s question.

The girl swung around at the sound of Sam’s voice and Dean physically took a step back, his eyes growing wide as he drank in her appearance. 

There was no doubt it was *yn* Kitson staring back at him. But it wasn’t the gangly kid he remembered her as that was before him. She was a young woman. 

And she’d gotten smoking hot. 

He watched as recognition sparked in her bright eyes and a huge smile spread across her plump lips. 

No, she was more than that. She was beautiful.

“Sam?” *yn* breathed out as she took a few steps towards him, blinking rapidly as if she was making sure she wasn’t seeing things. 

“Oh my god I can’t believe it.” She grinned as she hurriedly closed the gap between them and wrapped her arms around him. 

The hug between them was brief but full of fondness as she stared up at the youngest Winchester. “Since when were you a freaking giraffe?” She observed which caused Sam to let out a chuckle. 

As the pair released each other her eyes moving to lock onto the one and only Dean Winchester. 

She felt like her breath had been knocked out of her as she stared at him. Dean had been her first crush, following him around like a puppy when she was just eight years old. The last time she had seem him he had been just a teenager, but now he was a man. 

A ringed finger rubbing at his face which was now peppered with slight stubble. *yn* felt a familiar teenage like giddiness flood through her when she locked eyes with those very familiar green ones. 

Maybe that crush wasn’t so childish after all.

“Dean.” She heard herself say, a smile still on her lips as she hurried towards him. He let out a small grunt followed by a chuckle as she barrelled into him, wrapping her arms tightly around him. 

“Hello sweetheart, long time no see.” He greeted as he hugged her tightly back. 

“I just - I can’t believe it.” She repeated as she pulled away from him to glance between the brothers. 

“What are you guys doing in Mystic Falls?” 

“We could ask you the same thing.” Dean countered as they all moved to go back to the bar. 

“We thought you and your dad moved to California.” 

*yn*’s face fell at the mention of her father, her mouth going taut as she tried to maintain her composure.

“John didn’t tell you, did he?” She asked, causing the boys to exchange concerned looks.

“Tell us what *yn*?” Sam spoke. 

“My dad he uh-” She cut herself off and swallowed sharply. “He passed away a year or two after we last saw you.”

“He what?” Sam gaped, looking at Dean as if to silently ask ‘why the hell didn’t dad tell us this?’.

“I’m sorry sweetheart. He was one of the best.” Dean murmured, squeezing her shoulder gently. 

It was then that it sunk in for *yn*. The Winchester brothers were here. Hunters were here. In Mystic Falls. A town full to the brim with supernatural creatures. Including a very pissed off Original vampire. 

Fuck.

“What happened? What got him? It wasn’t that de-”

“I’ll tell you later.” *yn* abruptly cut Dean off. “You know how small towns love to eavesdrop and gossip, you never know who could be listening.” She continued and although her tone was light hearted, the warning glare she gave and the fear that flashed in her eyes was enough to make Dean tense up.

“Yeah, ok.” Sam nodded in understanding. He’d picked up on it too. “We can go somewhere later to... properly catch up.” He continued to which *yn* nodded in agreement.

“Anyway-” She continued as she cleared her throat. “I got passed around by a couple of distant relatives until I ended up here when I was 15 with an aunt I’d never even heard of.” 

*yn* elected to leave out that said Aunt was now very much dead. Animal attack, of course.

“And I’ve been here ever since.” She explained before taking a deep gulp of her drink.

Dean’s brows quirked up in amusement as he observed her. “Now I know I’m not the best at maths but I’m pretty confident you are not old enough to be drinking in a bar.” 

“Or drinking, period.” Sam added which made her roll her eyes.

“Don’t you dare start that older brother crap on me.” She warned as she pointed at both of them. “Either of you.” She emphasised before taking another sip. “I copped it from both of you enough when we were younger.”

“How old even are you?” Dean queried as he tried to do the maths in his head. “I’m 23, Sam’s 21 and the last time I saw you, you were...12?” 

*yn* nodded when he looked at her for confirmation, an amused smirk on her features as she watched him desperately wrack his brain. “Ok and that was.... 7 years ago? And I think I was...”

“She’s 19, Dean.” Sam cut him off, unable to watch his brother struggle any longer.

“Good to see you’re still the smarter brother, Sam.” *yn* observed which earned a scowl from Dean and a snort from Sam. 

“If you don’t watch that attitude I’ll be reporting this place for serving someone underage.” Dean shot back, glancing back at the bartender.

“You sound just like your dad.” *yn* mused. “Speaking of, where is your dad anyway? You guys are usually inseparable.”

“Well actually we kind of lost him.” Sam explained causing *yn* to raise a brow. “Or he went missing... I guess. Anyway, we’re trying to track him down. Hence why we’re here.” 

“Well although it sucks he’s missing, I’m glad in a way because it means I get to see you guys again.” *yn* replied, her gaze flickering over to Dean as she sipped from her cup once more.

“Trust me sweetheart, we’re glad we ran into you too.” Dean answered her, locking eyes with her as he too drunk from his beer bottle. 

The pair held gazes for a heartbeat too long before they tore their eyes from each other. Sam turned his head in an attempt to hide his amused smirk as Dean cleared his throat awkwardly. 

“There’s something off about those guys.” Damon snarked as he watched the two strangers embrace *yn* in friendly hugs. “I don’t trust them for a second.”

“Damon, on what basis are you forming that opinion?” Alaric quizzed as he too studied their interactions with *yn*.

“Instinct Ric.” Damon answered as fiddled with his bourbon glass. “Trust me, they are one word. Shady.” 

Alaric scoffed at his words, shaking his head as he drunk deeply. “Really? So it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that they’re friendly with *yn*?” 

“Of course not. Emotions don’t play into my judgements. You know that Ric.” Damon answered which caused Alaric to let out a dry chuckle.

“Right of course. Emotions are definitely not why you’ve been glaring at the shorter one because he, like you, can’t take his eyes off her.” 

His words made Damon swivel around once more to eye the trio. He clenched his jaw as he watched *yn* tilt her head back and laugh at something being said. The shorter one was studying her like she was a beautiful work of art. Soaking in every inch of her features like it was the last time he’d ever see them.  

And Damon knew that look all too well. 

Because that was exactly how he looked at her. 

“Well.” Damon began as he leant for the bottle of bourbon. “I should do my duty as a member of one of the founding families and go greet our guests.” 

“Damon, are you sure that’s the best idea?” Alaric warned, watching as Damon pressed the bottle to his lips and skulled.

“Of course it is Ric.” Damon answered once the bottle was back on the table. “I wouldn’t want to be rude, would I?” He grinned, slapping Ric’s shoulder a little bit too aggressively as he rose from the bar stool. 

Ric shook his head, mumbling under his breath as he watched Damon saunter towards the trio. Damon flexed his hand open and closed as he watched *yn* giggle at something the shorter stranger had said. 

“Welcome to Mystic Falls.” A voice interjected. 

*yn* felt herself freeze when she turned around and nearly smacked into Damon Salvatore’s chest. Dean instinctively puffed up his chest and straightened up as his eyes fell on the man with jet black hair standing behind *yn*.

“I haven’t seen you two around here before.” He continued before looking at *yn* expectantly.

“Sam, Dean, this is Damon. Damon, this is Sam and Dean Winchester, they’re... childhood friends of mine.” *yn* introduced, her eyes flitting between the three men. 

“Nice to meet you Damon...” Sam trailed off as he stuck out his hand. 

Damon shot him a fake smile as he shook Sam’s hand. “Salvatore.” He answered before turning to Dean. “Damon Salvatore.” He spoke as he clasped his hand around Dean’s in a firm shake.

*yn* glanced between the two as they eye balled each other. The tension between them was instantaneous and palpable, so thick *yn* swore she could nearly see it. Sam exchanged a glance with her fleetingly which told her that he was thinking the exact same thing.

“Well that’s certainly quite a ring you’ve got there Damon.” Dean observed, his brows raising slightly as he eyed the large ring on Damon’s finger. 

“Family heirloom.” Damon answered as he withdrew his hand. “A bit gaudy but what can you do.” He shrugged his shoulders. “Family.”

“I hear you.” Dean nodded, shooting him a fake smile of his own as he pressed his beer bottle to his lips. “You lived here long Damon?” 

“The Salvatore’s are one of the founding families of Mystic Falls.” *yn* interjected before Damon could answer with whatever retort he had conjured up.

“He grew up here but then travelled for a bit. But he’s been back for a year or two now... right Damon?” *yn* answered as she shot him a silent look that said ‘you better behave’.

“Exactly right *yn*.” Damon nodded, smiling widely as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “It’s great to have some of *yn*’s friends here, she doesn’t talk much about her childhood.” 

Another glare from *yn*.

“Is that so?” Dean queried, glancing at *yn* as he felt his blood run hot at the sight of Damon’s arm around her.

“We’re really happy to have run into *yn* while we were passing through.” Sam interjected, shooting Damon a smile, clearly desperate to salvage the interaction.

“Say Damon, if you’re from one of the founding families you must know quite a bit about the towns history.” Dean continued, ignoring Sam’s attempt to play nice.

“Of course.” 

“Great, well Sammy here is quite a history buff.” Dean spoke, slapping Sam’s shoulder. “And you know, I’m sure he’d love to pick your brains about the town’s history. Particularly this pest problem you seem to have.” 

“Pest problem? I wasn’t aware we had a pest problem. Were you *yn*?” Damon asked as he glanced down at her.

“No.” *yn* snapped as she glared at Dean. “I wasn’t.” She emphasised as she silently begged him not to push this.

“Oh well I mean this whole animal attack phenomenon thing. You know you guys have like three times more animal attacks than the average county.” 

All subtly had clearly been thrown at the window. 

*yn* felt Damon tense beside her and she instinctively reached up and placed a hand over the arm that was wrapped around her shoulders in an attempt to cool his simmering rage.

“You seemed to have done a lot of research on a town you’re just passing through.” Damon bit back. 

“What can I say?” Dean shrugged, “I like to be thorough.”

*yn* glanced between the two desperately as they locked gazes once more. Neither willing to back down as they sized each other up. 

“*yn*!” She turned around to see Elena beckoning her over frantically. “Our favourite song is about to come on, you have to come dance!” She shouted, slurring her words slightly.

*yn* had never been so grateful for drunk Elena Gilbert in her entire life.

She turned back to see all three men staring at her expectantly. 

“Sorry guys you’ll have to excuse me. Drunk Elena will not be happy if I don’t dance with her.” She explained as she slipped out of Damon’s arm, who was now back to glaring at Dean. 

“C’mon Damon, you want to cash in that dance don’t you?” She spoke, tugging on his arm gently. 

Her voice made him drag his eyes from Dean to look down at her. He could tell that she was silently pleading with him to come with her and away from Dean. 

“I’ll be there in a second.” He answered, shooting her a small smile. *yn* forced a tight lipped smile onto her lips as she nodded. She glanced over at Sam and Dean to see they too had unconvincing smiles on their lips as they nodded in encouragement for her to go.

“I’ll be back in a second.” She reassured them before turning on her heel and hurrying towards the dance floor.

“You guys don’t dance?” Damon queried once *yn* was out of ear shot. 

“That’s a shame.” Damon tutted once they both shook their heads at him. 

“And why’s that?” Dean sneered, unable to resist the bait that Damon wiggled in front of him.

“Well, *yn* loves to dance.” Damon answered, a smirk twisting up onto his lips just as you belong with me by Taylor Swift began to blast through the speakers.

“I do too, which is one of the reasons *yn* and I are so close. Oh and my ability to listen to endless amounts of Taylor Swift.” He grinned, patting Dean on the shoulder.

“Pleasure meeting you.”

And with that he stalked off, leaving Dean gripping his glass so hard it was a miracle it didn’t shatter.

“*yn*!” Who are those hot guys!” Bonnie gasped, grabbing onto her the second she was in the centre of the dance floor.

“It’s a long story.” *yn* responded. She withheld a sigh as Bonnie, Elena and Caroline all looked at her expectantly.

“9 am tomorrow. Damon’s place. I’ll explain everything.” She spoke, just as Taylor Swift started blasting through the speakers.

This answer in combination with Taylor Swift seemed to satisfy them because they all let out squeals of excitement as the song started. *yn* let out a giggle as Caroline grabbed her and spun her around. She felt herself relax a bit as she began to dance and sing with her friends, shoving Damon, Sam and Dean to the back of her mind.

She felt a hand grip her wrist and spin her back in, her body smacking into a familiar body. She felt her heart hammer in her chest as she looked up to lock eyes with Damon’s piercing blue ones. 

“You have a lot of explaining to do, missy.” He remarked as the pair began to dance together.

“I know, I said to the girls that I’ll explain everything at yours tomorrow.” She spoke as Damon spun her out. 

“So, can you play nice for the rest of the evening?” She asked as he pulled her back in. Her words caused a smirk to spread across his lips as he shot her that signature flirty eye look.

“I’ll be on my best behaviour.” He answered before unexpectedly dipping her low to the ground causing her to let out a squeal. 

------------

“Dude what the hell was that?” Sam hissed, hitting Dean in the side the second that Damon was on the dance floor.

“What?” Dean asked incredulously. 

“Don’t what me Dean.” Sam snapped back. “You couldn’t have been more obvious.” 

“Oh c’mon Sammy the dude is shady as hell.” Dean defended himself as he watched Damon approach *yn* on the dance floor. 

“Really? Or are you just pissed because he clearly has a thing for *yn*?” Sam interrogated. 

Dean scoffed and shook his head, “*yn*’s got nothing to do with this.”

“Oh really? So it’s got nothing to do with the fact that she’s now hot?” Sam asked him. 

“Nope.” Dean shook his head as he took a swig of his beer which made Sam scoff. 

“Ok so that-” Sam spoke as he pointed at *yn* and Damon who were now dancing and laughing together. “-doesn’t make you jealous in the slightest?” 

“Nope.” Dean answered a little too quickly. Sam just shook his head and turned back around to the bar to order another drink.

“All I’m saying is the dude is creepy. There’s something not right about him or this town. I’m just trying to look out for her, she might be in danger.” He spoke defensively.

“Oh yeah because she looks absolutely terrified right now.” Sam remarked as *yn* let out a loud laugh as Damon twirled her around. “Quickly you better save her she might overdose on laughter.” 

“So you don’t think there’s something weird going on in this town?” Dean queried.

“I don’t know what to think yet. We just got here Dean, and you running around making enemies isn’t going to make our job any easier.” 

“Whatever.” Dean grumbled as he sunk deep into his bar stool, his eyes never leaving *yn* and Damon. After a few minutes he finally ripped his gaze from them and scanned the room. 

He noted an older man with a beard in a very nice looking suit staring at him curiously. He seemed to radiate a sense of importance and arrogance. Something about him didn’t sit right with Dean either.

His gaze then fell on a younger guy, who looked around 17 or so, also glaring at him from a table nearby. Dean’s eyes narrowed as he watched the younger guy pick up his glass and take a drink, a gaudy ring glaring back at him. One that looked very similar to Damon Salvatore’s.

“Dude, is there some sort of brooding contest going on in this town that I don’t know about?” Dean remarked as his eyes flitted between them. Almost as if he had heard Dean’s words, the younger guy smirked at Dean as he rose from his seat and began to approach them.

“Oh no.” *yn* breathed out when she spotted Stefan making a beeline for Sam and Dean from across the dance floor. Her eyes then fell on Klaus who was lurking in the corner, clearly watching intently.

She quickly pulled away from Damon and pushed through the crowd, desperate to reach the brothers first. Unfortunately, Stefan beat her to it and she watched as he said something to the brothers before sticking out his hand.

“Stefan Salvatore.” He introduced himself, shaking their hands in turn.

“Oh you’re Damon’s brother?” Sam asked to which Stefan nodded. 

“We’ve had the pleasure of meeting him already.” Dean drawled just as *yn* reached them. 

“What brings you to Mystic Falls?” Stefan queried just as Damon rejoined the group. 

“Oh you know, just taking a road trip.” Sam answered, shooting him an insincere smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

“Really? That sounds fun.” 

“Yeah, nothing like a little hunting trip to improve the brotherly bond you know.” Dean grinned.

“A hunting trip?” *yn* blurted out before she could stop herself, her eyes wide as she stared at the Winchester brothers.

“C’mon *yn*, you know we hunt any chance we get.” Dean spoke, shooting her a knowing look. 

They weren’t just looking for their father. They were working a job.

*yn* glanced over at Klaus to see him already staring at her. He was hanging on to every single word. She glanced over to see Damon and Stefan staring back at Dean, his choice of words clearly not going over their heads.

“Well you know we’d love to show you around the town.” Damon piped up before *yn* could interject and she swore she could have staked him right then and there. “But if you’re just passing through then-”

“Oh no we’ve changed our minds.” Dean cut him off. “We’ll definitely be staying a while.” He continued, his eyes locking with *yn*’s. 

“Great.” Damon smiled, glancing down at *yn* who was staring right back at Dean.

“Well I might get going. I swear I am so famished I could just kill for something to eat right now.” Damon chuckled humorously. His words made the smile drop from Dean’s features, his eyes blazing with aggression as he glared at Damon.

“See you round then.” Sam nodded, his eyes darting to Dean in concern. A smirk twisted up onto Damon’s lips, his eyes glimmering with an unreadable emotion. 

“Oh you will.”

READ PART 2 HERE

I feel like this could be a one off or totally a series too!!! So happy with how it turned out!!!! As always, feedback would be super super appreciated and you can give it back HERE!

[karlajoyner]

Can I request a Charlie Gillespie x reader , where Charlie Gillespie is the reader’s boyfriend who dress as a clown for Madison Reys’s halloween party while they were in Canada and where Jeremy and Owen dress as clowns too to scare to Charlie’s girlfriend who is the reader but she hates getting scared.

It’s Stupid (Charlie Gillespie x Reader)

A/n: Hey guys so I hope you enjoy this one. I don't know if I'm gonna post the sunset curve one next yet because I have so much to work on for it. So I might post the one after unless you guys are willing to wait! Let me know if you are if you'd just prefer I post the next one!

Requested by: @fantomlovesjuke4ever (Tumblr)

Warnings: None

————

I placed the orange beanie over my head. Finally finishing off my final look.

Giggling to myself I walked out into the living room to see Savannah there in her Kim Possible outfit.

"How do I look?"

"Oh my god Charlie's gonna die!" She laughed throwing her head back.

"You look great"

"Are you sure it's not too....booby" I said moving the muscle tee away from my body to show my black bra. The muscle tee being directly from the show itself courtesy of the wardrobe department.

"It's Madison's Halloween party. I don't wanna show up looking like a slut"

"It's not too booby. You look great plus no ones gonna get to look under there except Charlie" She teased.

I playfully rolled my eyes grabbing a large oversized jacket to cover my costume.

"Where'd Tori go?"

"She went to go check on the boys to see if they were almost ready"

"Oh sounds good. Hey thanks again for letting me room with you two"

"Of course you know you're always welcome when your here. Plus I know Kenny always appreciates that you choose not to room with your boyfriend when you visit us"

"Kenny and apparently Owen too" I said earning a giggle from the girl.

"Tori just texted said the boys are ready and scary"

"Really?"

"Yeah. What's Charlie gonna be this year?" She asked as I grabbed my phone off the kitchen countertop.

"Beats me. He said it was top secret"

"Same for Owen and Jer" She spoke as I received a message from my boyfriend himself.

"Oh" I muttered.

"What's up?"

"Charlie just texted they'll meet us there. Something about needing the makeup department"

"Oh my"

"I just hope it's not anything too scary. I hate anything terrifying. I don't even watch scary movies at night due to the fact that I'm a complete wimp"

"Does Charlie know that?" Savannah bit her lip.

"Of course we've been dating for 6 months. If he didn't I'd be worried" I said walking out the front door.

I sighed stepping out of the Uber taking in the freezing cold air. Nothing too bad.

"How are you not freezing your socks off?" Tori asked.

"Toro you forget I've lived in Canada my whole life. You Californians cannot take the cold"

"Your the female version of Charlie. It's actually crazy" The girl said as she looped her arm through my own.

"Yeah he kinda rubbed off on me" I smiled walking into the warehouse with my two temporary roommates.

Immediately we spotted Madison, Sacha and Jadah.

"Y/n!" Madison and Jadah shouted running up to me.

"There's my angel. And my devils" I grinned at my boyfriends cast mates. Taking in the warmth's of the new surrounding.

"Okay let's see it. I've been waiting in anticipation to see your take on Luke Patterson" I giggled opening up the jacket to reveal the rest of my costume.

"You look great!"

"I think you look better than Charlie"

"Yeah my guns look great too don't they?" I asked flexing my arms causing laughter to erupt from the group.

"Okay seriously though where's my boyfriend and his posse"

"We have no idea"

"I do" Sacha stated smirking at me.

"Are you going to tell me?" I asked.

"Nope" As soon as the word left his lips my phone dinged.

"It's Charlie. He's asking me to meet him in the makeup. Where's that?"

"I'll walk you" Sav said taking my hand. We made it to a large door with windows to peer in.

"It's dark" I stated jiggling the knob to find it locked.

"Well that's weird" Sav said knocked. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as the door opened slowly.

"Take my hand"

"Okay Troy Bolton" Savannah said making me giggle. We walked forward slowly my heart dropping feeling a pair of arms grab my waist. I screamed in fear as the lights turned on. The three faces in front of me smiling widely.

"Ahhh" I shut my eyes hugging Savannah tightly. Who seem to have had a similar reaction because she didn't hesitate to pull me close either. My heart beating out of my chest wanting nothing more than to curl up in a ball and cry all my anxiety out. We gripped onto each other for dear life as......laughter erupted?

I slowly peeled my eyes open to see Charlie laughing loudly clutching his stomach along with Owen and Jeremy. A frown fell upon my face as I let the light haired girl go.

"Charlie" I whispered a small tear escaping my eyes.

The laughter quickly died down. Charlie's face now expressing concern.

"Y/n baby what's wrong?"

I scoffed walking past Savannah to be anywhere but here.

Flashback

"Come on babe"

"Charlie I'm serious. I hate scary movies and I hate being scared. It sends me into this weird panic mode and I get anxious" I ranted watching him turn the tv off.

"You probably think I'm some sort of freak who can't take a joke. If you don't wanna date me anymore that's fine but just don't make me watch that movie especially right now" I spoke looking out the window into the darkness of the dimly lit street.

"Why would you ever think I wouldn't want to date you because of this?" He asked hurt flashing his eyes.

"I don't know. It's just my past boyfriends have called me lame for not wanting to go out to a scary movie with them at night. Or not wanting to dress up as some sort of badass scary character for Halloween. It just sucks to be left out because of some stupid irrational fear"

"It's anything but irrational. So you got a fear of something. We all do. Hey I'm insanely afraid of spiders"

"Really?" I asked biting my lips.

"Yeah baby. It's a stupid fear I know but something about their long legs makes me just ugh" He said getting the chills.

"It's not stupid. Thanks Charlie" I smiled.

"Anytime y/n. Now come on" He spoke sticking his hand out to me.

"What about the movie?"

"We're still watching a movie. Frozen to be exact. Upstairs in my room, cuddling up in a pillow fort. Sound good?"

"Sounds amazing" I grinned taking it. I sighed contently as he pulled my into a hug.

"I promise I won't scare you or take any of your fears with a pinch of salt"

"I promise to do the same" I said looking up at the boy in front of me. Looking up at the face that I was slowly but surely falling in love with.

I made my way back towards the party immediately spotting Madi and Tori talking. Their eyes landed on me quickly sensing something wrong.

I made my way over to them wiping away the strayed water droplets under my eyes.

"Hey what's wrong?"

"The guys are assholes" I spoke bitterly.

"Did they scare you too?" Madison asked as I nodded. The two understanding me immediately.

"Yeah..... Its just when Charlie and I started dating I specifically explained to him why I don't like being scared and he promised he'd never take that one specific fear and use it against me. And he just scared the living crap out of me and Savannah. Which I'm glad I did figure out it was him and the boys before I passed out or puked. I'd expect it from Owen and Jer but my own boyfriend. I know it's stupid and I probably over reacted but I just- I've always made sure to kill every damn spider in our damn apartment so he wouldn't have to do it. And he does this to me"

"I don't think you overreacted. You have the right to be mad"

"You think?"

"Yeah but I also know Charlie's an idiot and needs to be reminded of things from time to time"

"You're right" I sighed.

"Look he's obviously gonna apologize. Just don't be too hard on him. His memories almost as bad as his handwriting" Madison joked making me let out a strangled chuckle hearing my name being called.

"Y/n! Y/n! Where is she?" Charlie shouted running into the room. The music coming to a halt.

All eyes landed on me as Charlie ran up to me.

"Please continue" I awkwardly chuckled pulling the brunette off into a random hallway.

The loud music blaring through the speakers once more.

"What is it Charles?" I spoke sternly turning around to face the boy who's makeup was much worse than before.

"Y/n baby I'm so sorry we pranked you. The boys convinced me that it'd be funny to get as many people as we could today. I didn't know you'd get so upset. I'll go take off this stupid costume right now if you want me to but please don't be mad at me baby. I love you" He finished nearly out of breath. I took in a deep breath hearing the sadness in his voiced as he had ranted like any other time he screwed up which wasn't very often. But still.

"Do you remember the night we watched frozen in your room?" I questioned nervously playing with the rings on my fingers. Another prop from Luke's character that tied my costume together.

"Of course it was amazing. We made a pillow fort and ate popcorn and afterwards we did stuff that was definitely not pg 13" He smirked making me roll my eyes.

"Do you remember why we watched frozen?" I spoke once more hoping he would get where I was going with my questions.

"Yeah we watched it because- oh. Y/n I'm so sorry. I'm such an idiot I can't believe I forgot about that"

"Yeah......Listen I'm not mad that your a clown which by the way I do happen to also be afraid of too but it's not gonna kill me. And I'm certainly not mad at Owen and Jeremy because they wanted to have a little fun tonight. But they didn't know about my anxiety that I get whenever I get scared. You did Charlie"

"I know I did" He groaned throwing his head back.

"And if my memory wasn't so damn bad I wouldn't have even thought about doing it baby. I hope you know that. And I'll do literally anything to get you to forgive me starting with never putting you through that again when your with me" He spoke taking my hands in his.

I sighed intertwining our fingers pulling him close to me.

"I know you won't. I also might have overreacted a bit" I said nuzzling my face into his chest.

His arms immediately wrapping around me completely.

"You didn't overreact. Overreacting is me when I see a spider. In all seriousness I love you and I'm really sorry for doing that"

"It's fine Charlie. I'll get my revenge on you guys" I spoke kissing his cheek before skipping away back to the party.

"Y-you're what? Wait baby your what? Y/n!" I heard him call after me as I laughed.

————

Up Next: Sunset Curve x Reader (Maybe)

Carrie Wilson x Reader

Owen Patrick Joyner x Reader

Charlie Gillespie x Reader

Alex x Male Reader

————

@lolychu @headheartbellarke @bookish0918 @kcd15 @ifilwtmfc @moviesbooksandfandoms @lovesanimals @lavender-writer @kaitieskidmore1 @morganayennefertyrell @iloveteenwolf @ghostofmgg

[midnight-lightning]

Vampire Diaries | Imagine

Jeremy Gilbert x Reader

Request: Hi, I saw you write for the Vampire Diaries and was wondering if you could please write a Jeremy Gilbert x reader?? Something where (Y/N) is a vampire hunter and she crosses paths with Jeremy. She teaches him many skills, but the most important thing she drilled into his head was that if you’re good at something, never do it for free.

Warnings: Slight swearing?

Mystic Falls was a bitch.

So were all the vampires inside.

They were the reason you had had to leave your familiar surroundings, your home.

Just because of your job, your hunting job, So yes, being a hunter sometimes sucks. And now your hunting skills, your hunting sensor were pulling you towards Virginia, towards Mystic Falls. Of all places in this big world it had to be Mystic Falls, of course...

The truth was, having to leave your home was not the only reason you hated this mission. You hated it also because Mystic Falls were once your home.

As soon as you became a hunter you started your new life, went with your hunting sensors and for many years you traveled around the world and expanded your tattoo.

But now it seems like it was time to come home, maybe even see some old friends again.

Yes, you were completely sure that your sensors forced you to mystic Falls as you were standing straight before the town sign.

You sighted.

It seems that in the last two years vampires had conquered the town, or your inner urge was broken. Unfortunately in this moment it was not.

You were doing your usual routine, starting in the forest next to your car, as you heard strange noises, sounding like a fight.

Immediately you were in your hunter mode, sneaking towards the noises, tensed and ready for everything.

Everything except the scene played before your eyes. There he was, certainly six feet tall, muscles everywhere and ... very sexy.

Not the boy you used to befriend of. Certainly not with those tattoos nor with THAT fighting skills.

As if he had senses you starring at him he turned around, armed with a piece of wood. Which he dropped as soon as he realised who was standing in front of him.

"Y/N?"

"It's nice to see you too, Jeremy." You grinned. "And by the way, nice tattoos."

A few awkward and very confusing moments later you both were sitting on chairs next to Jeremy's parking car.

"Why didn't you tell me you were also a hunter, Jer?"

"How could I, every time I called you I could only reach the answering machine," he explained reproachfully, he looked hurt.

"Right. But only because I knew I couldn't came back to this life ever again, nor to you and I wanted to keep distance to the past because the hunting is now my present and future and frankly, it's the best that could have happened in my life. Now I have a mission, a purpose", you defended your self, though, you knew deep down that he was right.

"And I guess your here because this is now home for every vampire that exist? You ever heard from the Mikaelsons?"

"Sure, the originals. Don't say they ..." you gasped. He nodded, seriously. This was great! If you success in killing one of them the secret map on your skin would be finally revealed!

Apparently Jeremy noticed your interest and knew exactly what you were thinking about, like always, after all he happened to be your best friend.

"Don't even think about it, Y/N!"

You frowned surprised at him.

"Why not? You do know that if you kill one original you will find out what that ugly tattoo mean! Why don't you even want to try, Jer?" You we're standing now, slightly confused and angry.

"Because-" He stand up, too "I have tried, already, and I nearly died! And you would also! You think I don't want to known what all these means?" He pointed on his body. "Because I want to know!"

Silence fell upon you as you started at each other. There were the same warm brown eyes, the same hair, just a little shorter and styled, not a mess anymore, like after the dead of his parents.

He was the same, just without the childish innocent, his eyes seemed so much older.

You chuckled.

He lifted a brown. "What?"

"How long have you been a hunter already?" You asked grinning.

"I don't know, maybe... a month?"

"Yeah... I thought."

"Y/N, it's nice to see you again but what are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about you non existing or not very good skills."

He laughed confused. "What do you mean?"

You rolled your eyes. "I mean that it's time a expert, aka me, shows you what real hunting is. Because what you did before was..., well you have much to learn."

The next couple of hours you taught him everything you've learned in your last years as a hunter.

What weapons are the best and when you could use them, especially how.

How you listen to you inner urge to senses vampires, even how you can control it.

What's the weakest point of a vampire and the best way of hunting them down and kill them. And how you could defend yourself.

During you training the both of you came close again, like in the good old days before accidentally killed a vampire and became a hunter.

And it seems like maybe everything could be the same again. You laughed and memorised old memories of your childhood. Told stories, about his family, what happened to Jenna, Elena and her love life. You yourself told him about your travels, everything you have seen and experienced.

At the end of the day Jeremy was eager to go and try all of his new Gaines knowledge, maybe go actually kill an original Vampire with you, but you stopped him.

"There's still one more thing, you need to know, Jeremy,"you told him.

"Still? There's still something you hadn't told? Wow." He laughed and looked at you. Now his eyes were shining again as he pulled his hair out of his face.

"You must know, the last and important advice I give you is... if you're good in doing something- and I can say if you're keeping up like that you will be-," you paused and looked him in the eyes. What you're gonna say was something you have to learn on the hard way.

"Never do it for free. You know, people will sooner or later need your help. You're skilled with this gift, -with speed, power, this sense- you have to demand something in return, whether it's money, a kiss or whatever. We're only five hunter on this whole world. With only one purpose, hunting vampires. Therefore don't get exploited, never do something for free for anybody. Believe me."

Jermey looked at you with a thoughtful expression.

"I promise you."

@blu3tid3s

[responsivesites]

New Post has been published on Website Design Naples Florida Webmaster

New Post has been published on https://vinbo.com/wordpress-5-4-adderley/

WordPress 5.4 “Adderley”

Here it is! Named “Adderley” in honor of Nat Adderley, the latest and greatest version of WordPress is available for download or update in your dashboard.

Say hello to more and better.

More ways to make your pages come alive. With easier ways to get it all done and looking better than ever—and boosts in speed you can feel.

Welcome to WordPress 5.4

Every major release adds more to the block editor.

More ways to make posts and pages come alive with your best images. More ways to bring your visitors in, and keep them engaged, with the richness of embedded media from the web’s top services.

More ways to make your vision real, and put blocks in the perfect place—even if a particular kind of block is new to you. More efficient processes.

And more speed everywhere, so as you build sections or galleries, or just type in a line of prose, you can feel how much faster your work flows.

Two new blocks. And better blocks overall.

Two brand-new blocks: Social Icons and Buttons make adding interactive features fast and easy.

New ways with color: Gradients in the Buttons and Cover block, toolbar access to color options in Rich Text blocks, and for the first time, color options in the Group and Columns blocks.

Guess a whole lot less! Version 5.4 streamlines the whole process for placing and replacing multimedia in every block. Now it works the same way in almost every block!

And if you’ve ever thought your image in the Media+Text block should link to something else—perhaps a picture of a brochure should download that brochure as a document? Well, now it can.

Cleaner UI, clearer navigation—and easier tabbing!

Clearer block navigation with block breadcrumbs. And easier selection once you get there.

For when you need to navigate with the keyboard, better tabbing and focus. Plus, you can tab over to the sidebar of nearly any block.

Speed! 14% faster loading of the editor, 51% faster time-to-type!

Tips are gone. In their place, a Welcome Guide window you can bring up when you need it—and only when you need it—again and again.

Know at a glance whether you’re in a block’s Edit or Navigation mode. Or, if you have restricted vision, your screen reader will tell you which mode you’re in.

Of course, if you want to work with the very latest tools and features, install the Gutenberg plugin. You’ll get to be the first to use new and exciting features in the block editor before anyone else has seen them!

Your fundamental right: privacy

5.4 helps with a variety of privacy issues around the world. So when users and stakeholders ask about regulatory compliance, or how your team handles user data, the answers should be a lot easier to get right.

Take a look:

Now personal data exports include users session information and users location data from the community events widget. Plus, a table of contents!

See progress as you process export and erasure requests through the privacy tools.

Plus, little enhancements throughout give the privacy tools a little cleaner look. Your eyes will thank you!

Just for developers

Add custom fields to menu items—natively

Two new actions let you add custom fields to menu items—without a plugin and without writing custom walkers.

On the Menus admin screen, wp_nav_menu_item_custom_fields fires just before the move buttons of a nav menu item in the menu editor.

In the Customizer, wp_nav_menu_item_custom_fields_customize_template fires at the end of the menu-items form-fields template.

Check your code and see where these new actions can replace your custom code, and if you’re concerned about duplication, add a check for the WordPress version.

Blocks! Simpler styling, new APIs and embeds

Radically simpler block styling. Negative margins and default padding are gone! Now you can style blocks the way you need them. And, a refactor got rid of four redundant wrapper divs.

If you build plugins, now you can register collections of your blocks by namespace across categories—a great way to get more brand visibility.

Let users do more with two new APIs: block variations and gradients.

In embeds, now the block editor supports TikTok—and CollegeHumor is gone.

There’s lots more for developers to love in WordPress 5.4. To discover more and learn how to make these changes shine on your sites, themes, plugins and more, check the WordPress 5.4 Field Guide.

The Squad

This release was led by Matt Mullenweg, Francesca Marano, and David Baumwald. They were enthusiastically supported by a release squad:

Editor Tech: Jorge Filipe Costa (@jorgefelipecosta)

Editor Design: Mark Uraine (@mapk)

Core Tech: Sergey Biryukov (@sergeybiryukov)

Design: Tammie Lister (@karmatosed)

Docs Coordinator: JB Audras (@audrasjb)

Docs & Comms Wrangler: Mary Baum (@marybaum)

The squad was joined throughout the release cycle by 552 generous volunteer contributors who collectively worked on 361 tickets on Trac and 1226 pull requests on GitHub.

Put on a Nat Adderley playlist, click that update button (or download it directly), and check the profiles of the fine folks that helped:

0v3rth3d4wn, 123host, 1naveengiri, Aaron Jorbin, Abhijit Rakas, abrightclearweb, acosmin, Adam Silverstein, adamboro, Addie, adnan.limdi, Aezaz Shaikh, Aftab Ali Muni, Aki Björklund, Akib, Akira Tachibana, akshayar, Alain Schlesser, Albert Juhé Lluveras, Alex Concha, Alex Mills, AlexHolsgrove, alexischenal, alextran, alishankhan, allancole, Allen Snook, alpipego, Amir Seljubac, Amit Dudhat, Amol Vhankalas, Amr Gawish, Amy Kamala, Anantajit JG, Anders Norén, Andrés, Andrea Fercia, Andrea Tarantini, andreaitm, Andrei Draganescu, Andrew Dixon, Andrew Duthie, Andrew Nacin, Andrew Ozz, Andrew Serong, Andrew Wilder, Andrey Savchenko, Andy Fragen, Andy Meerwaldt, Andy Peatling, Angelika Reisiger, Ankit Panchal, Anthony Burchell, Anthony Ledesma, apedog, Apermo, apieschel, Aravind Ajith, archon810, arenddeboer, Ari Stathopoulos, Arslan Ahmed, ashokrd2013, Ataur R, Ate Up With Motor, autotutorial, Ayesh Karunaratne, BackuPs, bahia0019, Bappi, Bart Czyz, ben.greeley, benedictsinger, Benjamin Intal, bibliofille, bilgilabs, Birgir Erlendsson, Birgit Pauli-Haack, BMO, Boga86, Boone Gorges, Brad Markle, Brandon Kraft, Brent Swisher, Cameron Voell, Carolina Nymark, ceyhun0, Chetan Prajapati, Chetan Satasiya, Chintesh Prajapati, Chip Snyder, Chris Klosowski, Chris Trynkiewicz (Sukces Strony), Chris Van Patten, Christian Sabo, Christiana Mohr, clayisland, Copons, Corey McKrill, crdunst, Csaba (LittleBigThings), Dademaru, Damián Suárez, Daniel Bachhuber, Daniel James, Daniel Llewellyn, Daniel Richards, Daniele Scasciafratte, daniloercoli, Darren Ethier (nerrad), darrenlambert, Dave Mackey, Dave Smith, daveslaughter, DaveWP196, David Artiss, David Binovec, David Herrera, David Ryan, David Shanske, David Stone, Debabrata Karfa, dekervit, Delowar Hossain, Denis Yanchevskiy, Dhaval kasavala, dhurlburtusa, Dilip Bheda, dingo-d, Dion Hulse, dipeshkakadiya, djp424, dominic_ks, Dominik Schilling, Dotan Cohen, dphiffer, dragosh635, Drew Jaynes, eclev91, ecotechie, eden159, Edi Amin, edmundcwm, Eduardo Toledo, Ella van Durpe, Ellen Bauer, Emil E, Enrique Piqueras, Enrique Sánchez, equin0x80, erikkroes, Estela Rueda, Fabian, Fabian Kägy, Fahim Murshed, Faisal Alvi, Felipe Elia, Felipe Santos, Felix Arntz, Fernando Souza, fervillz, fgiannar, flaviozavan, Florian TIAR, Fotis Pastrakis, Frank Martin, Gal Baras, Garrett Hyder, Gary Jones, Gary Pendergast, Gaurang Dabhi, George Stephanis, geriux, Girish Panchal, Gleb Kemarsky, Glenn, Goto Hayato, grafruessel, Greg Rickaby, Grzegorz Ziółkowski, Grzegorz.Janoszka, Gustavo Bordoni, gwwar, hamedmoodi, hAmpzter, happiryu, Hareesh Pillai, Harry Milatz, Haz, helgatheviking, Henry Holtgeerts, Himani Lotia, Hubert Kubiak, i3anaan, Ian Belanger, Ian Dunn, ianatkins, ianmjones, IdeaBox Creations, Ihtisham Zahoor, intimez, Ipstenu (Mika Epstein), Isabel Brison, ispreview, Jake Spurlock, Jakub Binda, James Huff, James Koster, James Nylen, jameslnewell, Janki Moradiya, Jarret, Jasper van der Meer, jaydeep23290, jdy68, Jean-Baptiste Audras, Jean-David Daviet, Jeff Bowen, Jeff Ong, Jeff Paul, Jeffrey Carandang, jeichorn, Jenil Kanani, Jenny Wong, jepperask, Jer Clarke, Jeremy Felt, Jeremy Herve, Jeroen Rotty, Jerry Jones, Jessica Lyschik, Jip Moors, Joe Dolson, Joe Hoyle, Joe McGill, Joen Asmussen, John Blackbourn, John James Jacoby, John Watkins, Jon, Jon Quach, Jon Surrell, Jonathan Desrosiers, Jonathan Goldford, Jonny Harris, Jono Alderson, Joonas Vanhatapio, Joost de Valk, Jorge Bernal, Jorge Costa, Josepha Haden, JoshuaWold, Joy, jqz, jsnajdr, Juanfra Aldasoro, Julian Weiland, julian.kimmig, Juliette Reinders Folmer, Julio Potier, Junko Nukaga, jurgen, justdaiv, Justin Ahinon, K. Adam White, kaggdesign, KalpShit Akabari, Kantari Samy, Kaspars, Kelly Dwan, Kennith Nichol, Kevin Hagerty, Kharis Sulistiyono, Khushbu Modi, killerbishop, kinjaldalwadi, kitchin, Kite, Kjell Reigstad, kkarpieszuk, Knut Sparhell, KokkieH, Konstantin Obenland, Konstantinos Xenos, Krystyna, kubiq, kuflievskiy, Kukhyeon Heo, kyliesabra, Laken Hafner, leandroalonso, leogermani, lgrev01, linuxologos, lisota, Lorenzo Fracassi, luisherranz, luisrivera, lukaswaudentio, Lukasz Jasinski, Luke Cavanagh, Lydia Wodarek, M A Vinoth Kumar, maciejmackowiak, Mahesh Waghmare, Manzoor Wani, marcelo2605, Marcio Zebedeu, MarcoZ, Marcus Kazmierczak, Marek Dědič, Marius Jensen, Marius84, Mark Jaquith, Mark Marzeotti, Mark Uraine, Martin Stehle, Marty Helmick, Mary Baum, Mat Gargano, Mat Lipe, Mathieu Viet, Matias Ventura, Matt Keys, Matt van Andel, mattchowning, Matthew Kevins, mattnyeus, maxme, mayanksonawat, mbrailer, Mehidi Hassan, Mel Choyce-Dwan, mensmaximus, Michael Arestad, Michael Ecklund, Michael Panaga, Michelle Schulp, miette49, Miguel Fonseca, Miguel Torres, mihdan, Miina Sikk, Mikael Korpela, Mike Auteri, Mike Hansen, Mike Schinkel [WPLib Box project lead], Mike Schroder, mikejdent, Mikko Saari, Milan Patel, Milan Petrovic, mimi, mircoraffinetti, mjnewman, mlbrgl, Morgan Estes, Morteza Geransayeh, mppfeiffer, mryoga, Muhammad Usama Masood, mujuonly, Mukesh Panchal, Nadir Seghir, nagoke, Nahid Ferdous Mohit, Nate Finch, Nazmul Ahsan, nekomajin, NextScripts, Nick Daugherty, Nick Halsey, Nicklas Sundberg, Nicky Lim, nicolad, Nicolas Juen, nicole2292, Niels Lange, nikhilgupte, nilamacharya, noahtallen, noyle, nsubugak, oakesjosh, oldenburg, Omar Alshaker, Otto Kekäläinen, Ov3rfly, Paal Joachim Romdahl, page-carbajal, pagewidth, Paragon Initiative Enterprises, Pascal Birchler, Pascal Casier, Paul Bearne, Paul Biron, Paul Kevin, Paul Schreiber, pcarvalho, Pedro Mendonça, perrywagle, Peter Wilson, Philip Jackson, Pierre Gordon, Pierre Lannoy, pikamander2, Prashant Singh, Pratik Jain, Presskopp, Priyanka Behera, Raam Dev, Rachel Cherry, Rachel Peter, ragnarokatz, Rami Yushuvaev, raoulunger, razamalik, Remco Tolsma, rephotsirch, rheinardkorf, Riad Benguella, Ricard Torres, Rich Tabor, rimadoshi, Rinku Y, Rob Cutmore, rob006, Robert Anderson, Roi Conde, Roland Murg, Rostislav Wolný, Roy Tanck, Russell Heimlich, Ryan, Ryan Fredlund, Ryan McCue, Ryan Welcher, Ryo, Sébastien SERRE, sablednah, Sampat Viral, Samuel Wood (Otto), SamuelFernandez, Sander, santilinwp, Sathiyamoorthy V, Schuhwerk, Scott Reilly, Scott Taylor, scruffian, scvleon, Sebastian Pisula, Sergey Biryukov, Sergio de Falco, sergiomdgomes, sgastard, sgoen, Shaharia Azam, Shannon Smith, shariqkhan2012, Shawntelle Coker, sheparddw, Shital Marakana, Shizumi Yoshiaki, simonjanin, sinatrateam, sirreal, skorasaurus, smerriman, socalchristina, Soren Wrede, spenserhale, sproutchris, squarecandy, starvoters1, SteelWagstaff, steevithak, Stefano Minoia, Stefanos Togoulidis, steffanhalv, Stephen Bernhardt, Stephen Edgar, Steve Dufresne, Steve Grunwell, stevenlinx, Stiofan, straightvisions GmbH, stroona.com, Subrata Mal, Subrata Sarkar, Sultan Nasir Uddin, swapnild, Sybre Waaijer, Sérgio Estêvão, Takayuki Miyauchi, Takeshi Furusato, Tammie Lister, Tanvirul Haque, TBschen, tdlewis77, Tellyworth, Thamaraiselvam, thefarlilacfield, ThemeZee, Tim Havinga, Tim Hengeveld, timon33, Timothée Brosille, Timothy Jacobs, Tkama, tmanoilov, tmatsuur, tobifjellner (Tor-Bjorn Fjellner), Tom Greer, Tom J Nowell, tommix, Toni Viemerö, Toro_Unit (Hiroshi Urabe), torres126, Torsten Landsiedel, Towhidul Islam, tristangemus, tristanleboss, tsuyoring, Tung Du, Udit Desai, Ulrich, upadalavipul, Utsav tilava, Vaishali Panchal, Valentin Bora, Varun Shanbhag, Veminom, Vinita Tandulkar, virgodesign, Vlad. S., vortfu, waleedt93, WebMan Design | Oliver Juhas, websupporter, Weston Ruter, William Earnhardt, William Patton, wpgurudev, WPMarmite, wptoolsdev, xedinunknown-1, yale01, Yannicki, Yordan Soares, Yui, zachflauaus, Zack Tollman, Zebulan Stanphill, Zee, and zsusag.

Many thanks to all of the community volunteers who contribute in the support forums. They answer questions from people across the world, whether they are using WordPress for the first time or since the first release. These releases are more successful for their efforts!

Finally, thanks to all the community translators who worked on WordPress 5.4. Their efforts bring WordPress fully translated to 46 languages at release time, with more on the way.

If you want to learn more about volunteering with WordPress, check out Make WordPress or the core development blog.

Original source: https://wordpress.org/news/2020/03/adderley/

[mndrec]

Lenovo Legion Y520: Pristupačan gejmerski laptop

Prošla godina je bila prilično revolucionarna na polju gejming laptopova - postali su skoro jednako moćni kao i desktop računari pri čemu više ne koštaju toliko dramatično i nisu teški toliko da vam otpadne rame kada ih nosite. Upravo jedan primerak takve filozofije pristupačnog, a moćnog gejming laptopa nam dolazi od firme Lenovo - u pitanju je model Legion Y520. Prvo što se primeti kada se Y520 raspakuje jeste njegov dizajn baziran na karbonskoj teksturi u kombinaciji sa dobro smišljenom i realizovanom stilizacijom Y slova, koje Lenovo koristi za svoje gejming serije. Upravo iz tog razloga ovaj laptop ima malo drugačiju siluetu nego što smo navikli, ali mu opet to daje i poseban šmek. Dalje, trebalo bi naglasiti i to da kod Y520 taj gejmerski šmek nije postignut „vrištećom“ šminkom, već upravo najbolji efekat daju nešto diskretniji, a lepo uklopljeni detalji. S obzirom na to da se radi o modelu sa 15.6 inča ekranom u Full HD rezoluciju, sami gabariti su prilično standardni za bilo koji model laptopa iz ove klase i zapravo sakrivaju koliko se moćne komponente nalaze u njemu. Jedino što ga odaje jesu mrežasti hladnjaci sa zadnje i donje strane uređaja, koji su zaduženi za sklanjanje toplote. Ako bi se na ovakvom računaru mogla naći neka zamerka to bi onda verovatno bila činjenica da je najvećim delom izrađen od plastike, dosta kvalitetne doduše, ali to moramo posmatrati u kontekstu toga što je Y520 među cenovno pristupačnijim uređajima na tržištu gejming laptopova. Posebno je dobro i što odabir materijala utiče na značajno smanjenje mase uređaja, pa je ceo laptop težak samo 2.4 kilograma, što je zaista odlično za ovu klasu, a ni ispravljač punjača nije ništa veći od uobičajenog, što je dugo bila boljka gejming laptopova. Na polju prenosivosti ovaj model zaista može da dobije samo najviše ocene. Kad se Legion Y520 otvori odmah se primećuje crveno osvetljena gejmerska tastatura, koja daje zapravo jako dobar osećaj prilikom kucanja. Ispod nje se nalazi touchpad, koji sasvim lepo reaguje, ali nam je povremeno malo pravio problem sam dizajn, jer zbog njega levo i desno dugme ne idu skroz do ivica površine kojom upravljate, pa se dešavalo da „kliknemo u prazno“, odnosno da pokušavamo da stisnemo deo koji je samo ukrasna plastika. Portovi za proširenje su sa obe strane uređaja i ima ih sasvim dovoljno, a posebno je značajno da ima tri USB 3.0 porta kao i jedan novi USB-C. S obzirom na to da je sam računar dosta tanak, LAN port je skraćen tako da ga je potrebno „otvoriti“ prilikom ubacivanja kabla, ali to i daje dobru indikaciju koliko je smanjena debljina. Već je postalo uobičajeno da u laptopovima ove klase ne postoji optički uređaj koji je realno već i prevaziđen i na taj način se stvorilo mesta za druge komponente. Treba naglasiti i da model koji smo mi imali na testu nije imao čitač SD kartica ali i da modeli sa nešto slabijim grafičkim karticama imaju taj slot, a na uštrb Displayport izlaza, tako da potencijalno treba obratiti pažnju na te sitne razlike. Kod gejming laptopova su performanse najbitnija stvar, a pre svega koliko je jaka grafička kartica u odnosu na desktop konkurente. I tu se desila najveća promena izlaskom serije 10 nVidia grafičkih procesora za mobilne računare. S obzirom na to da smo ranije uvek pričali o mobilnim grafičkim karticama koje su u nekom procentu bliže ili dalje od desktop modela sad je ta dilema rešena - radi se praktično o istim čipovima. Kako je značajno smanjena njihova potrošnja energije i grejanje postalo je moguće staviti ih i na laptop računar. I onda dolazimo do toga da Lenovo Y520 ima ugrađenu GeForce GTX 1060 grafičku karticu sa 6GB interne memorije, koja je skoro pa identična desktop modelu. S obzirom na to da smo već govorili kako ovaj čip bez problema može sve današnje igre da pokrene u 1080p rezoluciji u približno 60fps, a da je ekran na Y520 upravo rezolucije 1.920 x 1.080, jasno je da je ovo praktično idealno rešenje. Pritom, matirani IPS ekran na ovom laptopu je odličan za igranje čak i u jako osvetljenim prostorijama. Izvor: Lenovo. Jedini uslovno rečeno nedostatak je da za maksimalne performanse u igrama morate sa sobom nositi i punjač, odnosno priključiti računar na struju, ali to se nekako već podrazumeva. Samo na pogonu baterije on izdržava tek negde oko 3 sata korišćenja i to u mnogo manje zahtevnim aplikacijama od igara, ako se igrate taj period može biti i tri puta kraći. Naravno, iako grafička kartica jeste jako bitan detalj, ni ostatak računara ne zaostaje po performansama, naprotiv. Pre svega u njegovom srcu je četvorojezgarni Intel i7-7700HQ procesor sedme generacije koji radi na 2.8 GHz standardno, odnosno 3.8 GHz boost clocku uparen sa više nego dovoljnih 16 GB DDR4 memorije. Kad govorimo o opcijama skladištenja podataka, na ovom modelu je to zaista i više nego komforno - tu je SSD od 512 GB kao i standardni hard disk od 2 TB, i više nego dovoljno za sve vaše igre. Posebno treba istaći softverska unapređenja koja dolaze uz Lenovo preko njihovih aplikacija. Sam Windows 10 je na početku već podešen da bude u znaku Lenovo gejming segmenta, ali pored te šminke ima tu i zaista značajnih stvari. Pre svega je bitan Lenovo Nerve Sense softver, koji vam omogućava da pojačate sistem hlađenja za ekstremne performanse, da mrežni adapter daje prioritet igrama u odnosu na drugi saobraćaj ili da na lak način isključite tastere, koji vam mogu smetati, poput Windows tastera. Tu je i poseban softver za lako snimanje sadržaja iz igara, a koliko Lenovo posvećuje pažnju ovom segmentu korišćenja se vidi i po tome što postoji i posebno dugme na tastaturi namenjeno upravo snimanju. Dobra stvar je i Lenovo Settings, koji predstavlja unapređene opcije iz Windowsa i u kome se može podesiti jako puno zanimljivih stvari kao što je na primer ponašanje Wi-Fi adaptera u odnosu na vašu lokaciju, ekrana, ponašanje tastature i touchpada , web kamere i slično. Možda je najinteresantnija opcija vezana upravo za bateriju, nazvana „Conservation mode“. Naime, svi mi znamo da nije baš najbolje za bateriju kad je uvek na punjaču i puni se na 100 odsto kapaciteta, jer joj to vremenom smanjuje kapacitet. Zato Lenovo nudi ovu opciju koja će kapacitet baterije uvek držati na 55-60 odsto i na taj način je čuvati. Naravno treba samo zapamtiti da se isključi ovo podešavanje pre nego što planirate da računar neki duži vremenski period koristite bez priključivanja na struju kako bi se napunila baterija do 100 odsto. Da li nam sad verujete da laptop ne bi trebalo uvek držati na punjaču, kako smo vam već rekli ranije?! ;) Pogledajte Lenovo Legion Y520 iz svih uglova: S obzirom na to da je gejming laptop nekako arhetip računara, koji bi trebalo da je skoro uvek na punjaču smatramo da je ovo baš korisna i bitna opcija na koju treba obratiti pažnju. Inače kada već govorimo o performansama treba naglasiti i da je sistem hlađenja izuzetno dobro rešen i da čak ni pod velikim opterećenjem nije proizvodio veću buku, čak ni kada se uključi mod ekstremnog hlađenja, što je za svaku pohvalu. Obratite pažnju na to da, ipak da ventilatori duvaju na dole od računara pa neće biti baš prijatno da se igrate ukoliko vam je računar u krilu. NAPOMENA: Molimo vas da iz vida nikako ne izgubite činjenicu da se ovde radi o GEJMING LAPTOP uređaju, ne kancelarijskom laptop rešenju, koje se prodaje ispod 300 evra. U skladu s namenom uređaja jeste i njegova cena, a cena Lenovo Legion Y520 mašine svakako jeste jedna od najprihvatljivijih u domenu gejming laptop konfiguracije. MONDO MobIT Model Lenovo Y520, koji smo imali na testu, predstavlja praktično najbolji u svojoj seriji i samim tim nosi i nešto višu cenu ali se ona i dalje kreće u okvirima nečega što bi bilo povoljno za ovako jak gejming laptop. Međutim, ako pristanete na neke kompromise pa odaberete ovakav računar sa i5 procesorom, 8 GB memorije i GTX 1050Ti grafičkom karticom i sa samo standardnim hard diskom cena se spušta na nekih 900 evra, a i dalje dobijate izuzetnu gejming mašinu u jako malom pakovanju. Kad to uporedite sa desktop računarom istih performansi sa sve monitorom dolazimo do toga da je razlika u ceni manja od par stotina evra. Samim tim, dilema između desktopa i laptopa za gejming postaje značajno veća. Naravno svaka od ovih formi će uvek imati svoje zaklete pobornike (i one protiv, koji su uvek vrlo glasni, kao i ove što komentarišu samo cene), jer je laptop lako preneti, a desktop nudi veći komfor u vidu periferija, većeg ekrana i slično. Međutim, činjenica je da su laptopovi za gejming napravili kvantni korak unapred, a Lenovo Y520 je pravi predstavnik tog novog talasa. Autor teksta: Miloš Hetlerović Lenovo Legion Y520-15 specifikacije: - Grafika: Do nVidia GeForce 1060 sa do 6 GB RAM DDR5 - Procesor: Do Intel Core i7-7700HQ - Harddisk: do 512 GB SSD + do 2 TB HDD - RAM: do 16 GB DDR4 - Veze: 1 x HDMI, 1 x DisplayPort, 3 x USB 3.0, 1 x USB-C, Gbit LAN, Wi-Fi, Bluetooth 4.1, SD card reader, 3.5 mm audio, - Ekran: Full HD 1.920 x 1.080, 15.6 inča (oko 40 centimetara), mat - Dimenzijeitežina: 38 x 26.5 x 2.5 centimetra, 2.4 kilograma - Cena: Od 97.200 do 199.900 dinara. Lenovo Legion Y520-15 benchmarks: Igra Full HD rezolucija / Ultra detalji / Prosečan FPS Witcher 3 65.3 Rise of the Tomb Raider 79.6 Far Cry Primal 68.1 Battlefield 1 74.4 Merenja izvršio Play! Zine, za Play! 101 magazin. Čekamo vaše komentare ispod vesti i na Facebook, Twitter i Instagram mreži. Let's block ads! (Why?)

[jerxiong]

Currently reading: "What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma" by Stephanie Foo (Ballantine Books, 2023)

This past week, I've been reading this whenever I have a break. Recommended to me by a colleague friend, I decided to dive in with no real sense of what this book would be about. Imagine my surprise when--after the author's note that warned me--the first part (of five) really detailed the abuse inflicted upon the author as a child and teen. I was really thrown by how awful, how intense, the violence was. And I kept reading, as the author encouraged. Despite how awful it was, it gets better.

I like that the explanations are easy to follow when the trauma theories start to get confusing or overwhelming. The voice is also very easy to read; I've been breezing through the chapters. I think the only thing that irks me is that, at times, the chapters will end on a "cliffhanger" kind of sentence or question that didn't feel necessary. It feels too much of the journalistic, click-bait titles, which I don't prefer. But that's not a huge deal. The chapters cover a lot of ground--from her childhood to high school to college to working life to current life. The pacing feels fast, but it doesn't feel too disjointed.

[jerxiong]

Another one finished! I'm quite proud that I can now switch my brain to focus when I'm listening to audiobooks. Just two years ago, that wouldn't have been possible because I felt so scattered. This feels like a good step. I think the ability to choose the reading speed has really helped. Instead of listening to this book for 11+ hours, I was able to finish the book (and still follow along) in 6 hours and 27 minutes.

This book is a traditional memoir in which I mean it's chronological, starting from her mother's time and her mother's life for a couple of chapters to explain why her mother is the way she is before transitioning into Putsata's life as a child, teen, and adult. I mentioned in another post, but I didn't know much about Khmer Americans. I knew a bit about the Killing Fields and the genocide, but not much about their lives afterward or their lives in the United States. Just as I started this book, I was reminded by a friend about how this year is the 50th anniversary of wars ending in Laos, Vietnam, and Cambodia. It's quite an important year for Southeast Asian Americans.

This book reminded me of that not-so-distant past for my people and SEA Americans, the differences, but also the similarities. Putsata felt survivor's guilt over all the ones who died in the Killing Fields. I can't speak for other Hmong, but I definitely used to panic over the fact that my family and I are alive whereas many Hmong perished in the Secret Hmong. The guilt was there. And I understood the mindset of Putsata's Ma, even if I disagree.

I think this book really came together for me in the second half, in which the rupture between Put and her Ma occurred. I am interested in that kind of moment: Where do you go from that breaking? How do you heal? How do you reconcile? If your mother won't recognize all of you, how do you share joys and woes? These themes and questions resonated with me, as someone who have gone against my own culture...

The final chapters were a great way to end the book: a reflection on grace, on recognizing the flaws, the hurt, but also the good, the beautiful. The last line and those last few words took my breath away. Love, love that ending.

[jerxiong]

Currently reading: "Ma and Me: A Memoir" by Putsata Reang (MCD & Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2022)

Status: I came across this book via work and decided to add it to my pile of to-read. Since I'm on a mission to read as many nonfiction books by Southeast Asians as possible, I've started on this book, alternating between the printed book when I'm free and listening to the audiobook when my hands are not free. I'm only maybe 1/6 of the way there, page 62 of 384.

Thoughts: This feel like a traditional family memoir. Weaving in her parents' history, unpacking their trauma, and beginning to reveal the specific details that have deepened the divide between her mother and her.

Reading this, I realized how little I know about the history of Cambodia or the lives of Cambodians. Some of the stifling traditions are similar to my own, but otherwise, topics like the Khmer Rouge, I've only known through summaries and through the movie First They Killed My Father (2017, Netflix), based on the book of the same title by Loung Ung. (It was a hard watch, and it's also been a while since I've seen the movie. I've never read the book.) I've been intentionally seeking out more Cambodian American writings and writers. I first knew of poet Monica Sok in 2020, and then heard about Anthony Veasna So around late 2020/early 2021. I'm sure there are many more; I have to keep looking!

[jerxiong]

Completed: "Magical Realism: Essays on Music, Memory, Fantasy, and Borders" by Vanessa Angelica Villarreal (Tiny Reparations Books, Penguin Random House, 2024)

I checked out this book via Libby, and the 12+ hours length was daunting. I think the longest book I listened to previously was 8-10 hours. But, luckily, I could adjust the reading speed to 1.5 and could still comprehend it.

Listening through the first couple of chapters, one thought crossed my mind: This is the (type of) book I want to write! As an essayist, I've been writing my manuscript on and off, mulling over specific ideas but unable to expand. I felt like I was circling over the same arguments, examples, and couldn't put it together. Seeing how Vanessa pulled so many threads together to make these arguments in such articulate and profound ways was captivating.

Every single essay resonated with me in one way or another. I will have to get a physical copy to re-read the essays again. The thinking about what magical realism and fantasy is, worldbreaking and world-building, the borders and that essay on Jon Snow and Game of Thrones--I am ruminating on these essays and will be for a long time.

Once I get the physical copy, I will update on my favorite lines and essays. What I can say right now is that this book is very important to me.

[jerxiong]

Completed: "Where Rivers Part: A Story of My Mother's Life" by Kao Kalia Yang (Atria Books, 2024)

I've been leaning toward checking out books via Libby or the library recently, but for this book, I had to buy it (via Bookshop). Not just because I'm also a Hmong writer, but because Kao Kalia's books were one of the first books I ever read by a Hmong author. I have her first two memoirs (The Latehomecomer and The Song Poet) and so it's only proper that I have a physical copy of the third one, too. But I didn't read the book all through the physical copy. When I turned to chores or cooking, I switched to the audiobook so that I could get through the book faster.

Thoughts: I can't believe it's been ten years since The Song Poet. I remember feeling very emotional reading that book about her father's life, and I knew I would feel even more for this memoir about her mother's life. My own writing journey has led me to want to write more stories about women, especially seemingly ordinary women like my mother, grandmothers, and sisters. So, this book came at such a good time. I think this book is now my favorite of the three memoirs (though The Song Poet's ch.7 will always have my heart).

I like this memoir more too because it takes the most risk of the three, artistically. There's a chapter that addresses a suicide attempt in the third person pov, which makes sense narratively and stylistically.

But the beginning, the very first chapter, took me some time to get settled in. Because memoirs are typically of the author's memories and pov, it took me that whole chapter to get used to the fact that it is in Kao Kalia's mother's voice. I kept doubting myself and thinking that Kao Kalia is the one narrating, but actually, it was her mother's voice. And so when her mother refers to her mother and grandmother, it was actually Kao Kalia's grandmother (mentioned in The Latehomecomer) and Kao Kalia's great-grandmother.

Besides my temporary confusion, I really appreciated that beginning chapter about not only the stories of the oldest female elders, but the different stories of the sisters and their lives--and how different they are from the typical "Hmong woman" experience. That's something I've been curious about and also been shouting about for a long time: Hmong is not a monolith, and our experiences vary so much depending on geography, religion, class, dialect, customs, etc.

Reading about Kao Kalia's mother's experience, her mother's mother, her mother's sisters, her mother's mother's sisters, the feelings and events they went through felt very contemporary, very current. It may have happened decades ago in a different era, but those feelings of hate, love, shame, anger in the face of helplessness or patriarchy or oppressive traditions still resonate.

I appreciated this memoir for being more lyrical at times. I think the one style choice that I didn't prefer was that, often, in every chapter, characters seemed to be almost re-introduced or reminded of their quality. It's as if these were individual essays that needed reintroducing to a reader again, if a reader hadn't start from the beginning and learned about these characters. I think this quality probably comes from the Hmong way of calling someone and recognizing them, like declaring your name, clan, location so that you can identify your relationship to another person. I understand that, but I felt it was a tiny bit overdone.

Overall, I hadn't read a memoir in a while so reading this was interesting. I've been quite used to essays now or memoir-in-essays. But this book held my interest, made me cry, made me not only relate but resonate with the lives of these family members. For a while now, because I've been living away from home for so long, I don't hear much talk on topics about the old days or the war or the struggles from back in the day. Nowadays, my parents' generation have adapted to phones and social media, so it feels like they're "modern" now. But this book reminded me of the horrors of wartime, the losses, the separations.

It is a critical book, especially with the upcoming 50th anniversary of the Hmong diaspora, the leaving from Laos.

[jerxiong]

Semi-completed: "Songs on Endless Repeat: Essays and Outtakes" by Anthony Veasna So (Ecco, 2023) *audio version*

Status: completed all the nonfiction essays; did not listen to the fiction stories since it's not of my interest at this time.

Thoughts: I should look up the reader for this. I've never heard Anthony read, so I imagine this is similar to what he sounds like, but of course, I am probably completely wrong. Anthony passed away in 2020, just as his first book, a story collection titled "Afterparties," was going to come out. He was a highly anticipated and "new" writer, as in he was just about to debut a book. He was a queer Cambodian American, which piqued my interest as someone also from the Southeast Asian community in the United States. And, he's from Stockton, California, a city I know of and have family and friends who live there or have come from there.

"Songs on Endless Repeat" is a mix collection of his writings, both fiction and nonfiction, that were either published in literary magazines or were completed but not polished before his death.

I think I'll pick up the physical printed copy of this book sometime in the future. I want to revisit these essays so for now I'll borrow it on the Libby app.

[jerxiong]

Currently reading: "Stay True: A Memoir" by Hua Hsu (Anchor Books and Doubleday, 2022)

Status: According to Libby, I'm 31% through the book. In the app, it's got tons of people waiting to check out the book, so I've been able to get my hands on it through the "skip-the-line" loan where I get to borrow it faster but only hold it for seven days. I've done this twice now. I'm on my third "skip-the-line" loan, so I'm slowly but surely finishing it.

Thoughts: I hadn't known this book received the 2023 Pulitzer Prize for Memoir or Autobiography when I came across it, but that certainly helped drew me to the book. I usually assume that the people who win these things are authors who are writing about an important historical figure or relevant sociopolitical event. (If you check out the categories from the year 2022 and older, this category used to be called "General Nonfiction" and was filled with books that were more journalistic and historical in nature.) Looks like memoirs are finally getting their recognition.

On the book and the narrative itself, I can see why it has been highly remarked. I haven't been able to get into memoirs very much, preferring essay collections, but I've been able to maintain a long interest in what's going on. Because of the summary, there's a sense of dread that's hanging over my head as I get further into the book. This book is about an unlikely friendship with a college friend named Ken, who was killed suddenly one day in a carjacking. I'm 31% through the book, and the tragedy hasn't arrived yet. We've gotten the childhood and teenage years of Hua Hsu, especially his life as a son of an immigrant and his relationship to his father. I'm now at the chapters about his college life and his initial wariness of Ken, but how they gradually become friends.

I'm honestly a little scared to keep going. I don't really want to see Ken's life end. But I shall keep going.

[jerxiong]

Completed: "Thunder Song: Essays" by Sasha taqʷšəblu LaPointe (Counterpoint Press, 2024) *audiobook version*

I checked out this book via Libby, and the audiobook was about 6 hours long. It took me two loans to finish since I don't usually listen to audiobooks unless I'm driving, using public transit, or doing chores.

Thoughts: I'm genuinely surprised and delighted that I finished this collection despite not having a physical or text e-book! I've never been great at listening to audiobooks since my mind tend to wander, but the topics and storytelling of this collection kept me curious.

My favorite essays:

Swan Creek: explores the aftermath of a miscarriage and rethinking motherhood

First Salmon Ceremony: explores forgoing one's cultural food for a vegan diet and reconciling the two

An Indigenous Queer Love Story: explores love after being told by her ex-husband that she "learned to love the wrong way" by looking at relationships the women in her family have had and her own history with different partners

All the essays reckon with colonialism in one way or another, which is an important theme to me, but these essays especially resonated with me as I'm currently contemplating motherhood, a vegetarian diet for my health and for the environment, and my curiosity about queerness and, really, about how we as humans love.

I look forward to Sasha's future works as I really appreciate her perspective, experiences, and words.

[jerxiong]

Currently Reading: World of Wonders: In Praise of Fireflies, Whale Sharks, and Other Astonishments by Aimee Nezhukumatathil (Milkweed, 2020)

Status: in progress (about halfway through the book; third time picking this up and getting farther than before)

Thoughts: This essay collection is really proving to me that I'm really, really, really bad with nature. I'm not one of those people who grew up immersed in nature--my parents didn't really take my family on hikes, camping, never really took us to the mountains, to forests, to beaches, to national parks. It was probably only a handful of times. What I learned from nature really came from school, like learning about poison oak and poison ivy--even though to this day, I still don't know the difference and would not recognize it if I came across it. I didn't do "nature" things until I was older, when my sisters were allowed to drive us out to do more things outside; when I was in college where I'd do more activities with them.

So, it's been really hard to finish this book. It's not boring, per se. It's doing straightforward essaying, using nature to talk about or connect back to memories to do with identity and race. I'm just having a difficult time conjuring the images in my head. I don't recognize them, I don't know their names. It's hard.

Strangely, my parents and grandparents were garden folks and so those were the things I recognized the most that their hands built: thai chili peppers, cilantro, green onion, squash, peaches.